#But I feel guilty blocking him because he was depressed at one point and I dont want to cause him to become depressed again | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

halothenthehorns · 2 months ago

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Chapter 21: MY PARENTS GO COMMANDO

Percy looked entirely traumatized at the new chapter title Thalia read and very likely would have traded back all of his freshly regained memories to not hear whatever this was.

They weren't even entirely sure if it was the fear of his mom running around sanes underwear for some unknown reason, or the worse implication of her joining in the fight.

"What are the odds my dad just shows up and one accident leads to another where his shorts get ripped off?" Percy groaned with his face in his hands. Better that trauma than anything to do with his other, mortal parents!

Annabeth took his hand, and he knew he could get through this. He'd won over Kronos. He had to. His family depended on him...no matter how it got to that point...and he'd keep telling himself that until he could barter a better deal about what horrible images were put into this book.

By the time we got to the street, it was too late.

"Too late to what?" Alex clarified.

"Stop it from getting worse," Percy said darkly. He did not do well being cornered.

Campers and Hunters lay wounded on the ground. Clarisse must've lost a fight with a Hyperborean giant, because she and her chariot were frozen in a block of ice.

Jason made a guttural noise of surprised pain. Had that blessing of her fathers worn off already? Was she okay?!

"Don't worry, we got her unthawed," Will said in exhaustion how much chipping had been done. He'd warned Nyssa they should start from the bottom up, but no, nobody ever listened to him and Clarisse had run her mouth the entire time of course.

The centaurs were nowhere to be seen.

Either they'd panicked and ran or they'd been disintegrated.

Both depressing options. This was absolutely nothing new for Percy's life.

The Titan army ringed the building, standing maybe twenty feet from the doors. Kronos's vanguard was in the lead: Ethan Nakamura, the dracaena queen in her green armor, and two Hyperboreans.

Magnus's skin twitched in disgust at the idea of standing side by side with monsters to kill someone. He frowned to himself though as he realized Tyson and Mrs. O'Leary and a lot of Percy's allies weren't 'normal' but brushed that aside. Monster, then, in the sense that Ethan was standing with creatures that had no regard for life. That would sooner kill him as much as who they were charging at.

I didn't see Prometheus. The slimy weasel was probably hiding back at their headquarters. But Kronos himself stood right in front with his scythe in hand.

The only thing standing in his way was . . .

"Chiron," Annabeth said, her voice trembling.

"Time for the after party?" Magnus tried to say as he watched her bite her lip so hard the skin around it went white.

"Then the VIP after-after party," Alex immiedtily joined in.

"Guys, we were the life of the party at that point," Percy reminded, exhaustion in every syllable. He didn't know how else to explain there were no more tricks, no more strategies. Their teacher was down to his last straw.

If Chiron heard us, he didn't answer. He had an arrow notched, aimed straight at Kronos's face.

As soon as Kronos saw me, his gold eyes flared. Every muscle in my body froze. Then the Titan lord turned his attention back to Chiron. "Step aside, little son."

Hearing Luke call Chiron his son was weird enough, but Kronos put contempt in his voice, like son was the worst word he could think of.

"Maybe because his own children participated in cutting him up and throwing him in super hell?" Nico offered. "Just a thought. Kronos isn't an emotionless statue in the museum, he knows that family turning on each other cuts the deepest." It was plain as day in Annabeth's eyes the entire time she'd been in here with Luke's name on the edge of every page.

Percy grinned at him in agreement. He was feeling less and less guilty about telling him to stay back in the Underworld if he could get through to his dad with stuff like that, like he just had for Posideon.

"I'm afraid not." Chiron's tone was steely calm, the way he gets when he's really angry.

"When have you ever heard him really angry?" Will asked in quiet surprise. He couldn't say he'd ever heard that tone, and he'd heard Chiron shout at the Stoll brothers half his life.

"Never," Percy agreed, which is why it had shocked him so much. Chiron, standing alone to protect all of them while they'd been frozen in place. The knowledge that he could have died and their Camp would never feel the same. He'd finally failed to do something that even Heracles had triumphed in.

It really had been a moment frozen in time Kronos had been glorifying in.

I tried to move, but my feet felt like concrete. Annabeth, Grover, and Thalia were straining too, like they were just as stuck.

"Chiron!" Annabeth said. "Look out!"

The dracaena queen became impatient and charged. Chiron's arrow flew straight between her eyes and she vaporized on the spot, her empty armor clattering to the asphalt.

Chiron reached for another arrow, but his quiver was empty. He dropped the bow and drew his sword.

I knew he hated fighting with a sword. It was never his favorite weapon.

Alex had some half-assed remark up her sleeve about the trainer needing more training then, but she couldn't make herself say it. She'd never even liked Chiron that much before all this, but the fact that right now he was showing he was as good as his word and standing against all those monsters completely alone without hesitation finally did make her realize he was willing to stand up to anyone to defend those kids in his camp.

Kronos chuckled. He advanced a step, and Chiron's horse-half skittered nervously. His tail flicked back and forth.

"You're a teacher," Kronos sneered. "Not a hero."

Percy had vague memories of passing posters in his school that had teachers on top of mountains holding flags with corny slogans like 'teachers are the real heroes' and junk. He usually stopped to offer a fresh marker to kids who were doodling mustaches on them.

Chiron hadn't always been a great teacher, often treating him like many others. He'd felt isolated and like a child more often than not in his presence.

But he did care about him as a friend. Chiron was a hero just because he was patient and kind and gave kids a home as he gave the same speech over and over about how the gods were and how they'd at least be safe there.

Plus, Paul was a good guy too. He'd at least crack Kronos over the head with a textbook for making the teacher thing sound like an insult.

"Luke was a hero," Chiron said. "He was a good one, until you corrupted him."

Thalia made a deep noise of disgust she must have learned specifically from the hunters. Annabeth watched in dismay she really didn't believe a word of that now because she hadn't spent the years in Camp watching Luke take every new kid under his wing in the Hermes cabin whether they stayed there or not, watching him become a master swords men and never brag about it. Thalia only remembered the worst of him, it was no wonder her hate ran so deep.

Annabeth wished she had some magical plan up her sleeve to fix this. Holding onto hate wasn't ever going to make the hurt go away. She stiffened her shoulders and pushed the idea of magic aside, she didn't need it. She would come up with something.

"FOOL!" Kronos's voice shook the city. "You filled his head with empty promises. You said the gods cared about me!"

'Me,' Annabeth had instantly noticed, her breath caught in her throat. He'd said, 'me.' Gods she'd wanted to rip Kronos out of there molecule by molecule with one hand while throttling Luke with the other for everything he'd done. To Silena, to Thalia, to her, to everybody who'd believed in him culminating in this moment where there had been no half-bloods left standing with the monsters. Either dead or eaten by now.

If the gods didn't care about them enough to intervene and prevent all this happening to their children, then they should at least care about each other enough to have never let it go this far.

"Me," Chiron noticed. "You said me."

"He certainly did," Thalia muttered, but the others had looks of delayed shock on their face as they played those words back in their head while she and Annabeth exchanged a miserable look. Luke was still fighting in there. Not that Thalia had a single shred of caring left, clear in every word she spoke.

Percy heard it anyways. She hid well the look on her face behind the book, dampened with time that had been on full display that day. Not the same devesitation on Annabeth, but something that wasn't just flat hate either.

Kronos looked confused, and in that moment, Chiron struck. It was a good maneuver—a feint followed by a strike to the face. I couldn't have done better myself, but Kronos was quick. He had all of Luke's fighting skill, which was a lot. He knocked aside Chiron's blade and yelled, "BACK!"

A blinding white light exploded between the Titan and the centaur. Chiron flew into the side of the building with such force the wall crumbled and collapsed on top of him.

"I really hate it when those Titans do that," Percy seethed, white-hot anger coming off of him in waves, almost literally for a moment as the water around him began to steam before Annabeth slipped her arm through his without fear. It all faded back as he took a breath, but the rage building up did need a release eventually or he'd wind up beaching whales and giant squids soon from messing with the temperature down here.

He kept wishing that had been him. He could have stood up from that rubble and walked this off. What had Chiron been thinking?! They still didn't even know Kronos's weak spot!

"I know," Annabeth whispered beside him, holding his hand tight. The worst of it was Chiron would just get up and do the exact same thing again for them.

"No!" Annabeth wailed. The freezing spell broke. We ran toward our teacher, but there was no sign of him. Thalia and I pulled helplessly at the bricks while a ripple of ugly laughter ran through the Titan's army.

"YOU!" Annabeth turned on Luke. "To think that I . . . that I thought—"

She drew her knife.

"Annabeth, don't." I tried to take her arm, but she shook me off.

She attacked Kronos, and his smug smile faded. Perhaps some part of Luke remembered that he used to like this girl, used to take care of her when she was little. She plunged her knife between the straps of his armor, right at his collar bone. The blade should've sunk into his chest. Instead it bounced off.

Annabeth doubled over, clutching her arm to her stomach. The jolt might've been enough to dislocate her bad shoulder.

Nico had once thought he'd been on the receiving end of the worst of her anger. He knew that look that had been on her face and wasn't surprised in the slightest Luke, Kronos, or whoever hadn't a chance to deflect that incoming attack.

And it just made him sad how well he understood that pain. Of looking into the face of someone and not even recognizing them as you lashed out.

Percy's hands twitched, to pull her back to his side, to hold her close. She saw that and leaned into his side without hesitation. She was taking this harder the second time than he was. It had been confusing and soul-shattering enough the first time. Now sitting here, clincally sorting through every mistake she'd made with an audience...gods even her mom couldn't have whipped up such a specific torment to punish her for the past few months of happiness she'd had. Hades couldn't have ripped this torture out of her head because she never would have guessed how bad it hurt until she was living it. Every mistake she'd ever made just up in plain bold letters now inescapable if she ever wanted Percy back.

I yanked her back as Kronos swung his scythe, slicing the air where she'd been standing.

She fought me and screamed, "I HATE you!" I wasn't sure who she was talking to—me or Luke or Kronos. Tears streaked the dust on her face.

"A little of all three at that moment," Annabeth muttered only for him. She'd hated everyone, everything in the world in that moment as she'd thought Chiron dead. Percy holding her had been the only thing stopping her from crumpling to nothing at that moment and she'd hated it, would have welcomed oblivion at that point.

"I have to fight him," I told her.

"It's my fight too, Percy!"

Kronos laughed. "So much spirit. I can see why Luke wanted to spare you. Unfortunately, that won't be possible."

Percy still found it harder to believe every day what a gullible idiot Luke had been for falling for this crooked way he was being used. The lies felt so obvious, Kronos's careless demeanor towards everyone to get to the top felt so obvious to him.

How desperate Luke must have been to find some way to change his lot in life...

He raised his scythe. I got ready to defend, but before Kronos could strike, a dog's howl pierced the air somewhere behind the Titan's army. "Arroooooooo!"

Magnus still shivered instinctively with hatred for knowing that sound all to well. For picturing glowing eyes and hulking bodies with distinct shapes stalking forward.

But Nico grinned. The kind of smile that lit up his face and made him lean forward in his seat with excitement they rarely saw in here for something that might be good happening to him.

Magnus tried to be a good sport and push his problems away and not shrink into his seat in revulsion as that sounded like a herald of death to him...before he blinked and realized that might be exactly what it was for someone else. Well at least that was a nice change of pace.

It was too much to hope, but I called, "Mrs. O'Leary?"

The enemy forces stirred uneasily. Then the strangest thing happened. They began to part, clearing a path through the street like something behind them was forcing them to.

Soon there was a free aisle down the center of Fifth Avenue. Standing at the end of the block was my giant dog, and a small figure in black armor.

Nico grumbled at the word small. He'd just parted an army with sheer power like Percy had once done on the ship of Kronos's deck and still he was called small! If he didn't get a growth spurt in the next year he was hunting someone down for sport, the only question being his dad or Zeus.

"Nico?" I called.

"ROWWF!" Mrs. O'Leary bounded toward me, ignoring the growling monsters on either side. Nico strode forward.

Nobody had really been in doubt it was him, in fact they were smiling as bright as Nico for Percy calling him in for backup.

It just didn't lessen the tension in the room by a single breath as the loan soldier appeared without the God for backup. One more kid in black armor to wade through another sea of monsters.

The enemy army fell back before him like he radiated death, which of course he did.

Will was really starting to get tired of Percy constantly saying that too as much as Nico probably was. Yeah, but it wasn't the only thing he radiated. He'd just showed up there to help, he was powerful but that had always stemmed from a place of love like all the others at Camp.

Through the face guard of his skull-shaped helmet, he smiled. "Got your message. Is it too late to join the party?"

"Never for you my friend," Alex chuckled.

"Sweet, permanent free pass to be late," Nico grinned.

"Son of Hades." Kronos spit on the ground.

"That was just disrespectful. And rude." Jason frowned. "What did you do to him to deserve that?"

"Existed, apparently," Nico shrugged without concern.

"Do you love death so much you wish to experience it?"

"Haven't heard great things about it honestly," Magnus scoffed.

"Would not recommend," Percy chuckled from a little to much personal experience dancing around it.

"Your death," Nico said, "would be great for me."

"Tell me you did an awesome pose Nico?" Alex smirked. "Drew your sword and held it in front of your face or pointed it at him or something."

"My voice didn't crack when I said it," he offered.

"Eh," she huffed.

"I'm immortal, you fool! I have escaped Tartarus. You have no business here, and no chance to live."

"He only got two of those four statements correct," Jason sniffed. "Every Greek hero has business being there right now."

"Well no one was going to suggest he start being our next math teacher thankfully," Annabeth chuckled.

Nico drew his sword—three feet of wicked sharp Stygian iron, black as a nightmare. "I don't agree."

The ground rumbled. Cracks appeared in the road, the sidewalks, the sides of the buildings. Skeletal hands grasped the air as the dead clawed their way into the world of the living. There were thousands of them, and as they emerged, the Titan's monsters got jumpy and started to back up.

They hadn't been the only ones. Percy hadn't been thrilled to see an army of the dead again considering A) how easily he'd beat them and B) he'd been seeing to many of his friends joining that kind of entourage lately.

But the way Thalia had released a low whistle, impressed with that kind of skill and control, and especially how Annabeth's breath had gone back to ragged rather than gasping, he'd felt an immense surge of gratitude for Nico all the same for his great timing.

"HOLD YOUR GROUND!" Kronos demanded. "The dead are no match for us."

"Words I hope he can't live to regret," Will scowled. Just because Percy had been able to dismantle them all didn't mean anyone with the curse could. Luke wasn't a hero the same way Percy was. They could bathe in the same Styx, but Kronos could never make Luke's body have Percy's heart, the reason Percy had jumped in. The very force that activated Percy's ability to fight like a demon.

The sky turned dark and cold. Shadows thickened. A harsh war horn sounded, and as the dead soldiers formed up ranks with their guns and swords and spears, an enormous chariot roared down Fifth Avenue. It came to a stop next to Nico. The horses were living shadows, fashioned from darkness. The chariot was inlaid with obsidian and gold, decorated with scenes of painful death. Holding the reins was Hades himself, Lord of the Dead, with Demeter and Persephone riding behind him.

"One of these days you're going to have to explain to me how you did that," Percy managed to tell him among the others whooping with excitement.

"Pretty similar to what you did actually," Nico grinned as he tipped his head in thanks. Just all casual-like between them now. "Just did my best to remind my dad of what was important besides himself without getting blasted."

"Lucky for you two it worked," Thalia smiled fondly, even if there was a deep bitterness in her wrapped around her heart promising she probably couldn't have managed the same. If she'd dared try to get Zeus to do something he didn't want to she'd be vaporized for sure, and Arteims likely wouldn't be able to stop him. Perhaps just take revenge on some other child of his.

Hades wore black armor and a cloak the color of fresh blood. On top of his pale head was the helm of darkness: a crown that radiated pure terror. It changed shape as I watched—from a dragon's head to a circle of black flames to a wreath of human bones. But that wasn't the scary part. The helm reached into my mind and ignited my worst nightmares, my most secret fears. I wanted to crawl into a hole and hide, and I could tell the enemy army felt the same way. Only Kronos's power and authority kept his ranks from fleeing.

Hades smiled coldly. "Hello, Father. You're looking . . . young."

Alex snorted in delight. "Chiron and Kronos cheating death by the centuries and refusing to share their secrets."

"Please stick to his tail curlers instead of the body possession," Magnus sighed.

"I'll consider both backburners if I have to ponder my mortality," she promised.

"Hades," Kronos growled. "I hope you and the ladies have come to pledge your allegiance."

"Can we just stop for a moment and appreciate this though," Will smiled lovingly from the book to Nico. "Percy's been trying to get an Olympian there since all this started, and Nico show's up with three!"

"One, and two-ish," Annabeth politely corrected. Will ignored her.

"I'm over here laughing he called them ladies. Didn't know Kronos had a polite bone in his body. Probably had to steal it from Luke," Magnus chuckled.

"Yes, yes, the kid's persuasive and deserves a purple plastic crown you can build him in arts and crafts when we get back," Thalia sighed. "We're almost done with this one, can we please focus just a bit more?" Percy's memories were nearly fully restored and they could finally stop talking about Luke and move on to Jason's life, a win win to her as far as she could see.

"I was focusing on important details," Will protested, but Thalia kept reading since his point was clearly made and Nico gave his hand an affectionate squeeze to encourage him letting it go. He really didn't want Will to start hanging banners or something crazy over everything he did. This was more than enough attention for him.

"I'm afraid not." Hades sighed. "My son here convinced me that perhaps I should prioritize my list of enemies." He glanced at me with distaste. "As much as I dislike certain upstart demigods, it would not do for Olympus to fall. I would miss bickering with my siblings. And if there is one thing we agree on—it is that you were a TERRIBLE father."

"Priorities," Percy said in delight before snorting with laughter.

"We take the wins we can get around here," Annabeth chuckled along.

"True," muttered Demeter. "No appreciation of agriculture."

"Mother!" Persephone complained.

Hades drew his sword, a double-edged Stygian blade etched with silver.

"Oh great, he did finish that," Thalia voiced her mild disgust she'd held in at the time.

"You know, to be fair to him," Alex offered, "at least he decided to show it off now when he was least likely for the other gods to have a fit over it."

"I guess," Thalia agreed it had still been a terrible idea on Persephone's part.

"Did anyone ever thank you for design rights on that?" Will asked Nico in amusement.

Nico gave a sardonic laugh as answer and Will wasn't even surprised.

Annabeth at least knew of this story, Percy had given her a brief summary anyways about the potential problems in his next IM, but the fact that they all seemed to know about it made her eyes dart again with envy to the other books she'd missed out on. The jealousy that they all knew parts of Percy's life better than her when she'd held that position for so long before Rachel had seemed to push her out.

She knew in her head it was ridiculous and unfounded to feel this way, but she still tightened her hand in Percy's and sighed in relief when he returned the feeling.

"Now fight me! For today the House of Hades will be called the saviors of Olympus."

"I don't have time for this," Kronos snarled.

"He'll make time," Jason said viciously. Nico and Pluto had been ignored to long. He felt a burst of pride and was restraining himself from hugging Nico for managing to do this.

He struck the ground with his scythe. A crack spread in both directions, circling the Empire State Building. A wall of force shimmered along the fissure line, separating Kronos's vanguard, my friends, and me from the bulk of the two armies.

"What's he doing?" I muttered.

"Sealing us in," Thalia said. "He's collapsing the magic barriers around Manhattan—cutting off just the building, and us."

Sure enough, outside the barrier, car engines revved to life. Pedestrians woke up and stared uncomprehendingly at the monsters and zombies all around them. No telling what they saw through the Mist, but I'm sure it was plenty scary. Car doors opened. And at the end of the block, Paul Blofis and my mom got out of their Prius.

Percy's heart crawled into his throat. He wished Nico would return the favor right about now and jab a sword into his throat, that would feel less painful than this. How Paul would have looked around and seen their home destroyed, much like Percy had once done to his school. He'd know immediately this was all Percy's fault, because he hadn't been able to stop this.

And his mom...gods his mom had finally crossed the line right into his world. Last time she'd been face to face with a monster, it had been Hades to drag her down into his domain in a shower of gold. The Minotaur showing up yesterday, then Hades showing up now, it was all coming back a little to easily. Like he should have felt the rain pounding down around him and Grover bleating for food.

"No," I said. "Don't . . ."

My mother could see through the Mist. I could tell from her expression that she understood how serious things were. I hoped she would have the sense to run. But she locked eyes with me, said something to Paul, and they ran straight toward us.

Percy was shaking his head slowly from side to side, wishing he could deny those words existed, that if he closed his eyes long enough he could imagine them getting back in their car and driving away to safety with no more dents in it thanks to him.

I couldn't call out. The last thing I wanted to do was bring her to Kronos's attention.

Fortunately, Hades caused a distraction.

"I think I finally forgave your dad at that moment," Percy tried to mutter loud enough Nico could hear, but he knew how faint his voice sounded. The blood rushing through his ears made everything seem quieter.

Nico heard him and smiled. Maybe next time Percy wouldn't try to lop off his head if they needed to visit the Underworld again.

He charged at the wall of force, but his chariot crashed against it and overturned. He got to his feet, cursing, and blasted the wall with black energy. The barrier held.

That was still pretty terrifying on many levels, Magnus decided, only minorly pleased he wasn't shaking in a ball of fright at that much power being thrown around. It helped to remember that they, at least their kids, could use that power for good. That Hades was actually trying to help.

But still his skin crawled and he rubbed his hands together at the idea of how much power Kronos had put into that holding Annabeth inside. Had Luke ever stood a chance once the Lord of Time decided he'd found his host body?

"ATTACK!" he roared.

The armies of the dead clashed with the Titan's monsters. Fifth Avenue exploded into absolute chaos.

Mortals screamed and ran for cover. Demeter waved her hand and an entire column of giants turned into a wheat field. Persephone changed the dracaenae's spears into sunflowers.

Thalia couldn't help a laugh of revenge for those two turning that power on the right enemy. It wouldn't stop them doing it to her again in the future if she ticked them off, but it was nice to know they didn't reserve that for her.

Nico slashed and hacked his way through the enemy, trying to protect the pedestrians as best he could.

It was such a small detail for Percy to notice during the melee, but Will smiled that he had. Not that Nico was just fighting the monsters, but that the was ducking in the way of the people running, to get at certain monsters and keep their attention.

My parents ran toward me, dodging monsters and zombies, but there was nothing I could do to help them.

"Nakamura," Kronos said. "Attend me. Giants—deal with them."

He pointed at my friends and me. Then he ducked into the lobby.

"He what?" Jason demanded, looking as offended as if someone had ripped his shirt away. "He, delegated out, that's not, he-"

"If Percy wasn't going to kill him before, he definitely will now. Boy hates to feel dismissed," Thalia chuckled in agreement.

For a second I was stunned. I'd been expecting a fight, but Kronos completely ignored me like I wasn't worth the trouble. That made me mad.

"Yep, there it is," Annabeth smiled along as Percy clutched his pen and looked as likely to throw it at Luke's head as he would lop it off as Riptide.

The first Hyperborean giant smashed at me with his club. I rolled between his legs and stabbed Riptide into his backside. He shattered into a pile of ice shards. The second giant breathed frost at Annabeth, who was barely able to stand, but Grover pulled her out of the way while Thalia went to work.

She sprinted up the giant's back like a gazelle, sliced her hunting knives across his monstrous blue neck, and created the world's largest headless ice sculpture.

"A very niche talent I'm sure you'll find a market for," Alex chuckled.

"I'll ask Sally if she knows any places still looking for morbid pieces," she grinned.

I glanced outside the magic barrier. Nico was fighting his way toward my mom and Paul, but they weren't waiting for help.

Percy had never given someone such a grateful look in his life. Nico just dipped his head in understanding. He could count on one hand the amount of mortals he knew. He'd defend Paul and Sally as he would any of those people fleeing on the street, but just as he knew he'd instinctively throw his power around Will again if he sensed danger, he'd go out of his way to keep an eye on two people that had shown him such rare kindness.

Paul grabbed a sword from a fallen hero and did a pretty fine job keeping a dracaena busy. He stabbed her in the gut, and she disintegrated.

"Going commando indeed," Alex murmured in appreciation in the deafening silence of the room. How did things always keep managing to get worse around here that made her feel better, high on that kind of chaotic power?

"Paul?" I said in amazement.

He turned toward me and grinned. "I hope that was a monster I just killed. I was a Shakespearian actor in college! Picked up a little swordplay!"

Magnus had a very intense look on his face as he waved his hands around for a moment. If that wasn't the sign for 'mental pain,' it should be.

"What did he think he stabbed if not a monster?" Jason asked in droll amusement.

"Acting apparently teaches you a hell of a lot more interesting skills than I ever thought," Nico chuckled.

"Hence the plays are such a big hit, the kids really get into those sword moves they practice," Will beamed.

Percy groaned and flipped Will off while Magnus just jabbed at Jason that had been his personal ire here and Annabeth smiled fondly for them. She had a pretty good guess what mortals saw in place of monsters, and it was usually bad enough they didn't want their normal kids around it.

I liked him even better for that, but then a Laistrygonian giant charged toward my mom. She was rummaging around in an abandoned police car—maybe looking for the emergency radio—and her back was turned.

"Mom!" I yelled.

She whirled when the monster was almost on top of her. I thought the thing in her hands was an umbrella until she cranked the pump and the shotgun blast blew the giant twenty feet backward, right into Nico's sword.

"Team work!" Will whooped with joy, nearly crushing Nico's neck he jumped so much in place.

"We really should look into putting a gun range around camp or something, that thing worked like a charm, though it was a bit to loud to be practical in our line of work," Nico smiled as he wrapped his fingers securely around Will's arm to relieve the pressure but keep him there.

"Chiron's going to invest in my catapult idea one day, slingshot them at minimum after this," Alex nodded with confidence.

"Nice one," Paul said.

"When did you learn to fire a shotgun?" I demanded.

My mom blew the hair out of her face. "About two seconds ago. Percy, we'll be fine. Go!"

Somehow that made it more terrifying and hilarious as Annabeth slumped over in her seat laughing like she hadn't been able to. Percy put his arm back around her and shook his head in exasperation. Next chapter of his life his mom might teach him how to be the Lone Ranger and he'd feel the same about that as he did now. At least Annabeth would get some bonding out of it. If she wasn't worried about this, than he knew he'd come back down from that building and his parents were going to be okay.

"Yes," Nico agreed, "we'll handle the army. You have to get Kronos!"

"Come on, Seaweed Brain!" Annabeth said. I nodded. Then I looked at the rubble pile on the side of the building. My heart twisted. I'd forgotten about Chiron. How could I do that?

"Considering the last five seconds of your life," Annabeth promised as she gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek, "I don't think he'll think less of you for it."

He nodded and smiled for a moment as she leaned her forehead against him before taking a breath as he watched the last page in Thalia's hand run out of words. Gods, after all this time, he still didn't feel ready to deal with what was coming next. A final confrontation, one way or the other.

"Mrs. O'Leary," I said. "Please, Chiron's under there. If anyone can dig him out, you can. Find him! Help him!"

I'm not sure how much she understood, but she bounded to the pile and started to dig. Annabeth, Thalia, Grover, and I raced for the elevators.

"I finished," Thalia said with regret as she looked over to Nico to hand it over to him.

He frowned, hesitating to get up and take it. He'd have to drop Will's arm, though he'd put it right back when he sat down like usual.

He'd have to read about Kronos dying, a perverse pleasure he'd enjoy from anyone but him. He was already so very tired of the cosmic joke where he would apparently continue to keep getting the chapters where everyone died.

PJOPJOPJO

Not a long chapter, but easily one of my favorites of the series. Nico, Thalia, Chiron and Sally all getting such badass moments, the chaos, I really do just eat this up and come back craving more.

#pjo #Percy Jackson #Thalia Grace #Jason Grace #Annabeth Chase #percabeth #nico di angelo #solangelo #will solace #alex fierro #magnus chase #fierrochase

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zuzsenpai · 9 months ago

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This is another personal post with TW mental illness. I'm sorry there have been so many recently. I really have nowhere else to put these things. Feel free to ignore.

I don't think my depression has ever been this bad before, in the almost 13 years I've had it. For maybe the past two months it's been steadily growing to a point of intensity that I can't ignore. The absolutely awful feelings won't go away. I can't stop thinking about how miserable I feel.

I can barely take care of myself. I eat takeout every day. There's garbage everywhere at my house. I can't get shit done at work and at some point people are going to notice. I have multiple really REALLY urgent doctor's appointments/calls I HAVE to make (one of which is to my psychiatrist who apparently I'm blocked from messaging on the healthcare app), yet I can't seem to pick up the phone. I am mentally incapable somehow. There's a wall there.

I have been told to exercise and meditate and I physically and mentally cannot. Again, there is a wall.

I have a video game I wanted to play, I try to play it, and I feel completely unattached to it (even though I have loved it in the past). I joined a really exclusive roleplay community for that game and proceeded to be too overwhelmed to make the character application and now the mods are asking me what I want to do. I haven't written fanfiction in two months because of severe burnout, and I miss it so desperately that it's making me realize I might have been using it as a bandaid/distraction. But my brain is so fried that I feel too overwhelmed to write again. People are leaving me nice comments on my fics and I can't even bring myself to read them let alone respond to them. My memory is so bad that I can't remember a lot of what happens in any of my fave series' and I feel like creating good fan content for those things is impossible at this point.

I'm ignoring online friends in my favorite server. I promised multiple IRL friends I would watch animes they like and I am feeling guilty that I mentally cannot do that. I'm dreading the two anime cons I have coming up in March because I don't think I'm going to feel comfortable in my cosplay this year. I have a close friend (who is also my coworker) who keeps trying to get me to do things with her and her husband and I keep turning them down because I'm worried I'll get overwhelmed by social anxiety and general awkwardness. Just the thought of having awkward social interactions is terrifying me and pushing me down harder than it ever has.

I had a boyfriend between October 2022 and December 2023, but I felt like it was a huge chore every time I had to see him and I developed zero feelings for him. I felt repulsed by the thought of us being romantic. We ghosted each other in December and now I feel like shit about it because he may have been the only chance I'll ever have at a relationship... but I also am in such a bad state that it's probably good things are over. Why don't I feel relieved?

I'm having physical tics in my abdomen and jaw that are getting worse and worse to the point of pain and people noticing. I can't talk to literally anyone without sounding upset, negative, angry. I had my best friends from out of state over a few weekends ago and I was so sick the whole time, I felt like I was letting them down. I've been repeating awkward interactions with friends and coworkers over and over in my head to the point where I think about it at night.

I haven't put my Christmas decorations away because I fucking CAN'T.

This week has been particularly bad. Yesterday I was working from home because of snow. When the snow stopped I rushed to my parents' house because I needed to be somewhere with people I know. But I was so negative in how I spoke with them, and it's making me feel even worse. I used to be really talkative and intelligent when having conversations with my family, but depression has taken that away from me pretty badly over the years, to the point where I can barely talk without thinking about how absolutely dreadful I am at conversation.

But today might be the worst of it (unrelated to Valentine's Day, though it certainly isn't helping). It pained me emotionally and physically to get out of bed, and I wanted to take a mental health day. Literally fell back asleep for an hour before I had to get up and DREAMT about taking a mental health day. But being alone at home is actually so much worse than being at work where there are at least people I am comfortable with. So I went in. I have been absolutely bombarded with depressed feelings all day though. I get up to walk down the hall to the bathroom and somehow that feels worse than sitting and staring at my computer without accomplishing anything. I'm sitting here crying at work, completely destroying the four months of tally marks I had for 'days without crying at work'. I didn't break my record, sadly.

I have a therapist. I have an appointment with her today actually. Maybe I'll just read all of this to her. I don't know where it's going to lead or what she's going to tell me to do, but all I want is to walk down the hall to the bathroom and have at least average, neutral emotions instead of carrying a chest full of raging depression. I want to be able to say something happy to someone so that they don't dump me as a friend for being toxically negative. I want to live, and I have things to live for. But damn if this depression isn't making it extremely difficult to enjoy those things.

#personal post for ts;#personal post #zuzu note;#mental illness tw #depression tw

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ruminate88 · 6 months ago

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Love After Emotional Abuse?

dealt with 3 emotionally abusive men but I didn’t know they were that way�� I thought they were cold and mean to me but couldn’t understand why especially when I gave so much.

After my last relationship, I had been sooooo obsessed with him and idealized him BUT I believed truly I was “in love”. It hurt me soooooo badly when I found proof he cheated. Our break up was beyond confusing and made no sense.

I still wanted “to be in love” I spent the summer afterwards, crying over Andrew so hard but still sexting him a bunch, fighting with him, asking him questions begging for answers AND having panic attacks and suicide attacks with him. That summer was hell with him but I was so attached, I wouldn’t walk away. At some point, it was getting to be too much for me. Not enough love in my heart for him changed the outcome or his behavior. He was making me miserable and so I stopped texting him but didn’t block his number till months later. I had my final suicide attack and then prayed to God to change me. I didn’t wanna be suicidal or depressed anymore!!!

I continued to go on dating apps and try to talk to other men but they weren’t Andrew 😭😭😭 that sucked for me. I just didn’t know how to move on. I was so confused with Andrew. I downloaded this app called “Ok Cupid” and at first it was really bad.

I made the choice to delete the dating app but didn’t realize I had matched with my husband. He sent me a text message tho and he was the most normal sounding dude I ever met!! I knew instantly he was not toxic or weird. I did not care what he looked like or how old he was. I just wanted to be his friend. I felt instant relief in talking to him. I felt safe enough to engage with him and we talked and FaceTimed for 3 months before I would be his gf.

At first alllll I talked about was my exes Cody and Andrew. I didn’t know a single thing about emotional abuse. I couldn’t explain it to my husband and I just wouldn’t stop focusing on it. My husband listened and listened till one day he asked me to please stop and said he was done hearing about them could I please move on and talk about other things. Wow… I tried so hard to respect him. Even while using him as a friend, I felt he was different from every other guy I met AND I felt guilty when talking to other guys. I would take selfies just for my husband even when I told him no to dating him. I still felt like we were in a relationship.

My biggest problems/hurdles:

I was bored after Andrew. Normal men don’t over compliment you, cause a bunch of drama OR make a bunch of promises.

I was so confused and exhausted from Andrew, I just wanted a break. Meeting my husband was the biggest break. I felt like I could unpack and be comfortable with my new man BUT was I just using him??? Did I really love him or was I just safe with him??

Upon dating and getting engaged so fast, I felt short-term excitement with my new man which felt like my past toxic relationship accept that excitement wears off but nothing else changes. My husband is the same personality all the time. I pretty much know what to expect AND he doesn’t leave but it’s all about hard work. It’s daily routines. There’s zero drama or chaos. It’s overly quiet and peaceful. (It’s just what I needed)

I quickly felt “disconnected” after I got married. I see my new man, I think he has the kindest eyes and he’s such a hard worker. I wanna be good to him and respect him. I wanna do right by him but I over think, over analyze every little shift, action and mood. I worry do I truly love him or am I just hiding here to be safe. I realize more than likely what I had with Andrew was a trauma bond and obsession. I’ve not been able to stop thinking of Andrew ever and probably because the whole relationship was confusing and built on betrayal and gaslighting. I don’t know what to believe about Andrew or my feelings for him!!

I feel this wall blocking me from letting go of Andrew and my past. I can’t seem to fully embrace the present plus I feel like I am watching my life go by but not fully engaging in it. I just feel like physically in the present but not mentally because I can’t mentally detach from Andrew even tho I believe he’s no good for me.

I can’t truly explain the disconnect or the detachment but I know this will change and get better over time. As I continue to unravel truths by not giving up. I don’t feel like I’m so much lost, I just feel I’m waiting for the next break through and I’m close. But I tell myself that my husband has been nicer to me than any guy ever has and I would be foolish to ever go back to Andrew. I don’t even know the real Andrew or love him like that. I loved the version he showed me when I first met him but that person doesn’t exist 🤡 So sad…. I feel sad and sorry for Andrew despite how badly he hurt me. I always wonder if he’s mentally ill because of the times he acted like a child with me but then would turn around and act all superior and intellectual. He had different personalities with me.

I wanna feel “love” or feel like I’m “in love” but my fear is I don’t really know what that is. I’ve never got it right in the past. I use to fantasize about “love from all the movies” BUT I’m starting to believe that just doesn’t exist and that love really is hard work and a daily choice, that you may not always feel it but believe in it regardless. The grass isn’t always greener anyway. My husband triggers the day lights out of me!!! He sits for hours on his video games AND I’m too exhausted to care. Andrew would ignore me for days… I’m use to being in “isolation”. Just that, it does feel different with my husband. I don’t feel like I can’t breathe with him. I don’t see a bunch of red flags but I can’t change him and the video games. Can’t make him spend time with me.

I was soo use to no effort and total neglect in past relationships that the 1st guy to be nice to me and respect me, I marry the guy 😳❤️‍🩹 Do I love my husband??? I mean, I do want to respect him and think he’s a hard working and nice guy. What more could I want? I’m terrified to hurt him. I feel bad like I’m a bad wife cuz of my past. Even though I don’t ever talk to Andrew or Google him, the fact he still makes me so sad and upset, am I a bad person? 😓😭❤️‍🩹 I don’t wanna upset anyone.

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heart-sized · 2 years ago

Note

Could I please request young severus and fem reader, after sixth year severus spends his summer just depressed but meets reader, she’s your average muggle but she tries to befriend him, lighten up his mood and slowly he realizes that he might not be so alone after all. I hope that’s enough and thank you 🤍

now and forever — s. snape

★⺌◞ : young severus snape x fem! muggle reader

cw : none that i can think of

author's note : hi im kind of in a writer's block but somehow i loved your request sm and now i feel super guilty because this fic is actually shitty i might rewrite it later on so sorry in advance omg !!

masterlist // sev masterlist

severus sighed. he would never understand the whole point of holidays. at least in hogwarts, he had a purpose. in the muggles world? oh how he loathed living among muggles!

he didn't even know why he was sitting there in the cafe. oh probably because he wanted some moments of solitude to get his mind off his problems.

you stared at him from afar, watching him in curiosity. he intrigued you. he had one of those old soul aura and you couldn't help but want to know more about him, as less stalker-ish as possible.

“do you want me to help you?” you asked your older sister who worked as a part time waitress here. “eh, i can help you.”

lies. all you wanted was an opportunity to converse with that stranger.

“hi, what do you want to order?” you asked and severus jerked his head up, looking at you. order? he was actually embarrassed now. he had seen many people just sit there without order anything and he didn't brought extra money with him. of course, he couldn't expect a muggle like you to understand.

you looked at him and something flashed in his eyes. had he ... not brought money? you brightened a smile. “today's order on the house!”

he nodded, knowing that it was a rubbish. there was no such thing as a free drink and so when you came with his order, he looked almost suspiciously at you. “can you sit here for a second?”

you blinked your eyes, surprised. “of course. what's up?”

“i know what you did,” he accused, an angry blush on his cheeks as he glared at you, “i don't have money with me right now but i'll pay you soon.”

“wait!” you stopped him with a smile, “you don't have to pay me back with money. you can do something else instead.”

“and what is it?” he glanced at you with suspicion.

“go out on a date with me.”

severus stared at you in disbelief. surely you couldn't be serious. who in their right minds would want to go out with him? he sighed bitterly. not that he had any interest whatsoever in going out with them.

“i don't like jokes.”

your smile widened. “oh, i don't like jokes either. so are you ready or not?”

“fine.” begrudgingly, he followed you and you decided to go to the local park with him since it wasn't an actual date date (because you don't even know his name!!!!). but you couldn't deny that there was something special about him.

“i'm y/n,” you supplied the information even though he never asked. “what's yours?”

“severus,” he didn't say his full name. he was so used to being called snape by everybody, he didn't want you to call him that too. “my name is severus.”

“can i call you, sev?”

“no!”

“why?” you grinned, “but it's cute, sev!”

“you're a dunderhead, y/n,” he rolled his eyes. “it's not cute.”

“dunderhead, wow,” you shook his head, “your vocabulary is quite nice.”

“i can't say the same about you, y/n.” were your eyes hallucinating or was there an actual teasing glint in his eyes?

the two of you started hanging out everyday and you could see that severus had started caring about you too, albeit he'd never admit that out loud. it was the little details though. the hangouts that almost felt like dates now. actually valuing your opinions.

“my boarding school will open soon,” he informed you. you didn't know anything about hogwarts yet. severus knew he had to tell you that eventually, but he decided that it wasn't the right time.

“you'll go?” your gaze fluttered towards him. “you must miss me a lot, sev.”

“you're a dunderhead, y/n,” the fond smile on his face said anything but that. “so much dunderhead.”

“maybe,” you drawled out, resting your head against his chest softly, “i might be a dunderhead but at least i make you smile.”

“is making me smile that important for you?” severus couldn't understand. all his life, he had been loathed just for being who he was and there were you. you who didn't even mind being stupid just so that you could make him smile.

“i'm happy when you smile, sev. it makes me happy.”

“if that's the case, then y/n, you ... you make me happy.”

it took almost a minute for you to get his words. severus ... the same boy who had taken an eternity to tell you his name said that you make him happy? your eyes fluttered to his lips. no, no, bad y/n. don't think about that right now.

“i want you to promise me something, sev,” he nodded and you held his hand in yours, “we're gonna be in touch when you come home for your next holidays, won't we?”

“we'll,” he slipped a soft, innocent kiss on your cheek, “we'll be together. for the next summer and then for all the coming summers.”

“promise?”

“promise."

you smiled. the next summer he'll know your feelings. he'll know that you don't want to be just friends with him. he'll know that you'll never leave him alone. you'll continue to pester him for the rest of his life. now and forever.

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br0kenegobr0kenheart · 2 years ago

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I guess this has just become my "How do I relate to Taylor Swift's songs" diary. Oh well.

Yes I got your letter, yes I'm doing better, I know that it's over, I don't need your closure.

Closure, let's talk about it. I didn't change my general practitioner when we broke up. We shared the same one, but as I was on anti depressants, I truly didn't feel like explaining to someone else why. This was my safety option. Of course I ran the risk of running into him at the doctor's office, but somehow this wasn't too bad. Last time I went to get my prescription refilled, I told my GP we had broken up - he couldn't really replace him, so he told me to focus on myself. I felt okay, until this past Monday.

I come in with a cold and the will to talk about maybe lowering my dosage, or at least just speaking next steps, but out of nowhere, breaking every single medical secrecy, he tells me he saw him last Friday, that he was at a really low point, so much so that he pointed him towards a therapist - not the same one as me haha thanks douchebag. And that he really was a good guy, and that he had told him that he should call me. I was baffled. Speechless. What. The. Fuck.

You see, one of the thing I'm dealing with is high feelings of guilt. I didn't feel guilty for my ex, but instantly, my thoughts went to "Oh god that's because of me that he's feeling like that." I told my GP that he had hurt me too, and feeling like he had fucked up - which he had, royally so - he then spent twenty minutes telling me to take care of myself, to block his number or not answer his calls, and that he definitely knew what I wanted from in life - quiet life with my husband and kids. Again. What. The. Fuck.

The utter feeling of betrayal and sadness quickly left. I was handled an information I didn't need nor wanted NOR SHOULD'VE HAD. But it wasn't my problem. It wasn't actually a problem, more so a non problem.

I then had to schedule a quick appointment with my therapist, she's the shit, but I needed to understand my emotions.

It felt like a jump into his intimacy, but I didn't need the closure. When we parted ways, he told me he hoped I would heal all my fucked up-ness someday, and that he didn't need me anymore because he had no issues to address.

It wasn't right

The way it all went down

Looks like you know that now

I try not to see this as a haha moment. This is not a happy news, obviously, I'm sad he's going through a hard time. But it's not my battle. It's not my closure. Because even though my mental state has been a fucking hell hole for the better part of ten years, I know I'm doing the work. I'm doing the therapy, the yoga, the reaching out to friends, the calling my mom, the taking my meds, the routines. Of course I'm failing every three days. Of course I haven't showered since Monday. But I'm trying, and trying again (yup, wait til I get to that song).

But I'm fine with my spite

And my tears

And my beers

And my candles.

#taylor swift #closure #journal #online diary

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eddievanhammettmunson · 2 years ago

Text

I Heard.

Vampire Eddie Munsonx Female reader

Authors note-Hiiiiii everyone welcome back. I’m here with a new fic. It is 18+ so minors DNI I will block ❤️. 16.3k words.

Warnings- 18+!!!!! Smut at the end ❤️, drug mention like once?, mention of blood and death, foul language, weapons, I’m pretty sure that’s it I think.

Summary- so I thought of the idea for this fic when I rewatched the season 2 finale and got to see the reunion between Eleven and Mike and I actually think their reunion is kinda cute so this is just me making a stranger things season 5 surrounding that plot but with the reader and Eddie.

“GOODNIGHT GUYS!!!! Thanks for the ride Steve!” Waving at the car as you watched Steve pull out of your driveway, off to take Dustin, Mike and Lucas home.

You walked inside and sat down on the side of your bed and sighed. It’d been almost a year since you guys lost Eddie in the upside down. But going home every night and knowing you won’t be able to see him when you wake up the next day still stings.

In an attempt to distract yourself from the depression easing its way in for the night you decide to put on some pajamas and eat some food. Getting comfy on your bed you decide to put on a movie and try to ease your troubles.

After finishing the first movie you decide to get a little high and put on Back to the Future. You’d meant to see it when it came out in theatres but you never found the time. And Robin was telling you the other day at family video that it’s a great movie to watch when you’re high.

No matter what you do though your mind falls back to Eddie and how much you miss him. You hadn’t been able to know him for long. Only joining his hellfire club the week all that horrible shit started. But during the time you did get to know him you guys formed a bond. At the time you didn’t call it love because you thought it would be crazy if you fell in love with a guy that quickly? Now you know what you felt was love. You only wish it didn’t take losing him to realize that.

You sigh and stop the movie. Flicking on your light you decide to step out for a moment so you don’t disturb your sister Max. Grabbing the walkie talkie from your night stand you quietly head out of the house and make it to the bench nearby.

Living in this trailer park after everything that happened was hard. Knowing Eddie used to live here and seeing his uncle Wayne all the time made it harder. Knowing that if he’d just climbed that damn rope with you and Dustin that he would have made it. Dustin always blamed himself for not being able to get Eddie’s body back through the gate at least. You also felt guilty about it. You had wanted to and you guys tried but with Max dying and being brought back to life you both had to rush back through the gate because everything started splitting open and you weren’t sure what to do.

When you made it back to the trailer and Eleven brought Max back all the gates closed and you guys weren’t able to reach Eddie’s body anymore. It devastated you two. Dustin had found some solace in being the new leader of the hellfire club and heeding Eddie’s words by watching the others.

You struggled more in terms of finding any solace. In Eddie’s final moments with you and Dustin, Eddie took the time to tell you he loved you and you were about to say it back but he was already gone. Dustin is the only one who knew how you and Eddie felt and Dustin was the only one who was with you as you sobbed Eddie’s name as you told him you loved him back knowing he couldn’t hear you.

Dustin may have been the only one to officially hear it and know it for sure. But the others could see it. And they could definitely see how much you were hurting everyday without him now. That’s why Mike gave you the idea to use the walkie talkie and let your feelings out. Mike had told you that at one point when he didn’t know eleven was alive, he would just go to an empty channel on the walkie talkie and talk to her. And sometimes it made him feel better.

So that’s what you started doing. Everyday since Mike told you that, you come outside at night, turn the walkie talkie onto the same blank channel and just talk.

“I almost didn’t do this tonight. Steve convinced me to come out with the kids at the park. It was nice. Max had fun spending time with Lucas. I’m glad Max is getting better. She can finally walk again, not very well but she’s getting there. And she’s especially getting good at using that cane to be aware of her surroundings. Lucas even started learning braille so he could coax her into learning braille. I think I’ll join him on that. Anyways as much fun as it was I still can’t help but feel sad everytime I come home. I miss you a lot. We all do. Dustin has this great campaign going right now and I can’t wait for the next session. But it’ll never be the same without you Ed’s”

You sit there for a minute listening to the crackle of the radio. You go to turn it off when the crackling gets louder and louder. You figure it must be bugging out or catching some interference and you’re just about to switch it off when all you hear in the faintest whisper is “y/n?”.

You stayed out there on that bench into the early hours of the morning with that radio on trying to hear the voice again. Trying to get any sort of response. You don’t.

You repeat that every night for days. Barely sleeping. Just every once in a while when you’re lucky you capture the faintest noises and words. It gets to the point where you know you can’t take this anymore. Either you’re going crazy or someone else is on the line.

Either way you have to know.

You step out of the car and make your way towards the cabin and knock on the door. You’re expecting Hopper or Joyce to answer the door. Just hoping it won’t be will or johnathan but of course it’s Will. Who thinks you’re there to see him.

“Sorry Will but I actually need to talk to Eleven. Is she here?”

“Oh. She’s in her room on the phone with Mike probably”

After you thank him and promise him you’ll hangout with him later you run to Eleven’s room and begin to bang on the door.

“SERIOUSLY WILL? YOU CAN TALK TO MIKE LATER”

“Eleven? It’s y/n”

The door swings open and eleven is sitting on her bed. Phone still in hand, clearly confused to see you at her bedroom door. You and eleven obviously knew each other but you hadn’t interacted the most so it’s not like you two hung out regularly without the group.

Seeing the concerned look on your face Eleven asks Mike if she can call him back later to which he agrees, saying he had to go meet Dustin anyways.

“Is something wrong?” Eleven asks as you to step into the room and shut and lock the door behind you.

“This is going to sound crazy but I need your help”

Eleven doesn’t say anything but looks at you with intrigue so you continue.

“Do you remember our friend we told you about? The one from last year who we lost in the upside down? Eddie?”

Eleven nods her head yes.

“Well…..I don’t think he’s entirely gone. I keep hearing him over the walkie talkie at night….I was wondering if you could help me. I don’t even know if it’s real or not. But I need to know”

You hold out your walkie talkie to eleven and she holds it in her hands. Taking the walkie from you entirely, Eleven stands and turns on the radio in her room to a blank channel and she wraps a scarf around her eyes as a blind fold.

“Be very quiet. I will let you know what I find”

You wait a while. Unsure of how long this stuff normally takes for her. You begin to grow worried when you hear her gasp and start crying. Suddenly Eleven is screaming. Is she in trouble? Should you wake her?

You get up and run to Eleven's door and open it and scream for help.

Will, being the only other person home runs into the room.

“Y/n? What happened? What were you guys even doing?”

“I asked Eleven to help me find Eddie and I don’t know what’s happening. How do we wake her Will?”

As you two try to find ways to snap El out of it, she comes out of it herself. Ripping off the blind fold and gasping for air. You and Will quickly pull yourselves around her in a hug.

When you pull back all Eleven says is

“We have a problem”

Eleven didn’t tell you or Will what had happened. All she told you was that you guys had to contact everyone immediately and gather them. So you did. Will called Hopper and Joyce and Johnathan and told them to meet at Mike's house for an emergency. You got on the walkie and made sure to tell Mike what had happened and let him know to get Nancy and everyone would meet at their house. You told Dustin to get Steve and Robin and you made sure to tell Steve to go pick up Max from the trailer. Finally you radio’d Lucas telling him to get Erica and head over to Mike’s.

Once everyone had gathered in the basement. You began to explain what happened. How you had been calling Eddie and asked Eleven to look for him. Once you finished telling your story you all began to listen to Eleven. Upon hearing her words you could barely function.

“I spoke with your friend. Eddie”

“EDDIES ALIVE?!” Dustin screamed at Eleven. Which obviously scared her by the way she jumped back. It was clear by Dustin’s tone he wasn’t angry and didn’t mean to scare her. But with what she just said. You felt like screaming yourself.

“Not exactly.”

“What does not exactly mean?” Lucas questioned, obviously confused. If eleven could talk to spirits that was definitely something Mike had forgotten to mention.

“I do not know. He did not tell me what had happened to him. But I could tell when I saw him. He isn’t entirely human anymore”

“Well what did he say?” Those were the only words you spoke and they were so quiet the group almost didn’t hear you.

“Eddie gave me a warning. He told me that Vecna is not dead and he is coming. Eddie also said that he does not have a choice but to fight with Vecna. He is under his control. A part of his army now”

Hearing this was devastating. Not only was Eddie still out there but he was in the upside down being controlled by Vecna. You can’t help but begin to beat yourself up for not getting his body out of there when you had the chance. He shouldn’t be going through this. Your thoughts are broken when you hear Dustin laugh and say

“THIS IS GREAT” the entire room falls silent upon hearing this and Max turns towards Dustin’s voice.

“Dustin, how is anything Eleven just said great?”

Dustin scoffs, looking around confused and dumbfounded.

“Oh come on? Really? You guys this is our chance! We can get Eddie back!”

You stand and look towards Dustin. Disheartened and devastated you begin to say through hurt words

“Dustin…. I want him back more than anything but look at us? Look at what happened last time? Hawkins nearly got blown off the map, Max died and is still recovering, we lost Eddie, and didn’t even defeat Vecna…I hate to say it Dustin but do we even stand a chance?”

Instead of Dustin answering like you can see he wants to. Suddenly Eleven is standing in front of the group and looking at you.

“I can do it this time. I won’t let him win. Not again. I promised your friend we would get him out and we will. I am promising this to you too”

Upon hearing this it makes you hopeful but you can’t help but join in with Hopper on his protest. As much as you want Eddie back you don’t want anybody to get hurt. But at the same time you know this may not be an option.

As you and hopper begin to protest, Eleven holds up her hand and begins to speak more

“It’s our only option. Eddie told me we only have days to prepare for what’s coming. He said he’s been trying to warn us for awhile now but he hadn’t been able to get anyone to hear him until y/n did. This is our only option”.

Everyone sits in the basement and tries to think of a plan for hours. But everything proves pointless when you all have no idea how to get to the upside down. All the gates are closed and Eleven would have to open a gate which would take a lot of power. A lot of power she needs to fight Vecna.

Towards the late hours of the night while everyone is still talking, you decide to grab your walkie talkie and slip outside. Now that you know Eddie actually heard you at least once you’re hoping he could hear you again.

“Hi Eddie…..I don’t actually know if you’re here or if you can hear me but we’re gonna try and get you….I hope you can hear me Eddie. We’re going to save you. I promise” you sit there for a while and then turn off the walkie. You decide to sit outside a little while longer. All this stress must have been giving you migraines lately, maybe it was the lack of sleep, cause your head was pounding again.

Finally the pain subsides and you begin to head inside. As you’re walking back towards the Wheeler’s basement you hear the chime of a clock. It’s loud and it’s coming from upstairs.

You follow the chime up the stairs and when you reach the second floor you’re no longer at the Wheeler’s. You’re in your childhood home in california.

“Y/N!!!!!!!”

“Dad?! What? What’s going on? What’s happening?”

You can hear your father beating on your bedroom door. Then his voice morphs into Billy’s.

“YOU LET ME DIE YOU BITCH! YOU HELD MAX BACK AND YOU BOTH LET ME DIE”

You knew what this was now. Max had told you every detail of what she went through. Vecna was in your head. He was trying to get you. You look around your childhood room and run towards your window and break it open climbing out and running. You hear the voice of Vecna

“You can’t run from me y/n Hargrove”

But you do run. You’re not sure where you’re running to. It’s been years since you’ve been to california and especially since you’d seen this house. But you remember a certain store. A store your mom took you to once. Before she left you and Billy. You run to the store as fast as you can. Upon reaching the door you open it, and run inside.

As your body is standing just outside the Wheeler’s front door surrounded by pretty much everyone. Nancy has her hands on your arms. She’d been shaking you for a moment, attempting to wake you, when you suddenly woke up gasping.

“Y/n? Are you okay? What happened?” Nancy is hugging you now.

With a shaky voice and tears you tell them it was Vecna. They take you back inside and they tell you that Max had asked Nancy to come look for you because she was worried that she hadn’t heard you in awhile and Nancy found you standing just outside the wheelers front door in some sort of trance. You told them what had happened.

Everyone in the room felt sorry for you and nobody quite knew what to say. They all wanted to ask the same question. But everyone was almost certain they didn’t want to know the answer. Are you under Vecna's curse? Is this Vecna's plan? To do the same thing he did last year and now you only have a day to live?

Mostly nobody wanted to address it not only for your sake, but for Max’s. After what she went through last year this is going to be hard on her. They can tell now that she’s trying so hard not to panic and Lucas is great at comforting her but you’re sisters. After losing Billy and your dad leaving you guys, moving to that trailer park, and now being blind and in recovery still. She can’t lose you too.

Like some twist of fate there’s a knock at the basement door and Robin comes running in.

“Guys you need to come upstairs to the tv right now”

“Robin seriously were kind of in the middle of something?” Steve asks, obviously confused and missing the panic in Robin's voice.

“Steve I’m serious the tv now everyone someone in the street and and the news reporters it’s bad you guys like really bad we need to” at this point everyone has cut Robin off and ran up to watch the new report.

“LOCAL TEEN FOUND DEAD IN LAUNDROMAT”

The details the reporter gave were eerily familiar. It’s not everyday someone is found without their eyes and every bone is broken. They had been found early in the day. You weren’t Vecna's first victim this time around. He already had 1 body. You guys are losing more time.

You knew you were losing time but you couldn’t think of anything. Everything that was happening you couldn’t process. Eddie was out there, Vecna was in your head, you may only have a day to live, Where do you even start? How can you even start? You’re feeling faint and you begin to lean against the wall. But the saving grace of the group chirps in.

“We need to get to that laundromat. Hopper, do you think there’s any way you could get us in there?” The best babysitter in the world asks as he stands in front of everyone hands on his hips ready to get out there.

Hopper had decided to retire once he came back to Hawkins since he wasn’t going to make Powell give up being chief. Now Hopper spent more time at home and doing security jobs but Hopper says he’ll get you guys in there. He does.

He takes Steve and they scope out the Laundry mat. They radio back to you guys from Hoppers truck. The minute Hopper and Harrington confirm there’s a gate in the laundry mat you guys begin to formulate a plan of attack.

Joyce and Hopper gathered their team of kids they would take and prepare with them to go get Vecna. Eleven, Joyce, Hopper, Jonathan, Will, Mike, and Nancy were going to split into 2 teams and go after Vecna's body and Vecna's mind. You, Steve, Robin,Dustin, Lucas, Max and Erica had a different mission. You were going to find Eddie. Eleven had told you that although Eddie is under Vecnas control, Eddie isn’t with Vecna but he’s off on his own preparing for the battle.

Nancy had mentioned to the group about going to the war zone again to prepare and everyone agreed. The first group packed into Hopper's truck and the second group crowded into Steve’s car and you all headed off towards the war zone.

A while into the drive Steve made Dustin radio to Hopper and tell them that you guys would meet them at the war zone because you guys needed to make a stop.

“We don’t have time for stops Steve? What are we doing here?”

You were very confused to see Steve pulling into a music store.

“We’re getting you and Max new walkmans and we’re buying you each a copy of your favorite songs and you two are going to wear those walkmans until the second all this crap is over”

Steve wasn’t asking you any of this. He was telling you this and he walked into the store already heading towards Kate Bush for Max.

You headed over to the rock and roll section. It took you a minute but luckily they had just the song you needed. At least you hoped it was the song you needed.

While sitting in the car heading towards the war zone you look over at Max who’s sitting next to you looking very nervous. You reach over and give her hand a tight squeeze. Trying to give her some sense of reassurance but you can tell by the shaky squeeze she returns, that it doesn’t work very well.

When you get to the war zone Lucas offers to stay in the car with Max so you can go in and help shop for supplies. You find yourself standing in front of a line of machetes just staring at them intensely for a moment before you feel a tap on your shoulder. You jump and turn around to find Dustin standing behind you. Taking off your headphones you decide to speak to him.

“Sorry Dustin, I was a bit lost in thought there”

“Yeah I could tell….how ya holdin up?”

You scoff and laugh a little bit.

“Honestly Henderson? I’ve had better days”

You turn back and grab a machete and throw it into the cart and slowly walk forward with Dustin to look at more weapons.

“Y/n?”

“Yeah Dustin?”

“Are you sure coming into the upside down with us is the best thing? I mean maybe you should stay back in the laundry mat with Lucas and Max? I’m just saying since he’s already in your head maybe being in the upside down will just make it easier for him.”

You sigh and stop. Leaning on the cart, putting your head in your hands. You’re frustrated. Dustin has a point. But you have to go. You have to go get Eddie, you have to get him out of there, you have to at least try and see him. Especially if it’s your last day on earth you need to at least try.

“Honestly Dustin? I’m not sure at all that it’s the best thing. In fact no matter what I do it feels like it could be a death sentence. But I need to do this Dustin. I’m doing this.”

You could tell what you said had disappointed him a bit. He knew no matter what he said that you probably wouldn’t back down. But a part of him just hoped that you would. He already had to watch Eddie die in his arms last year and even though he might get him back he doesn’t want to watch you die. He doesn’t want to have to come back and tell Max he lost you in the upside down.

“Y/n? Why aren’t you listening to your music? That thing could be trying to get into your head as we speak. What if he’s already in your head just lurking? I’m probably not making you feel any better. I'm sorry but really why aren’t you listening to your music” Robin said as she approached rapidly with a few boxes of bullets in her hands. Robin's rapid fire concerns managed to pull a slight smile onto your face. Before you had the chance to respond the headphones were already placed back onto your ears by a mysterious pair of hands that appeared from behind you. You turn around to see Steve nonchalantly pressing play on your Walkman forcing the music to flood back into your ears.

You guys all head from the war zone to Hoppers cabin and begin the preparations for battle. You’re dawning racks of bullets across your body and explosives. Almost everyone in the house has weapons. Nobody is going into the upside down unprepared. Not this time.

You walk out onto the porch for a moment just to get some air. Small cabin with a lot of people and a lot of weapons.

You take a moment to inhale deeply taking in the fresh cool air of the woods when a voice appears from behind you. “Y/n?” You turn your head around slightly to see Eleven standing there. She looks determined. Almost angry. But softened upon speaking to you.

“Y/n I promised your friend he would be free. I feel I shouldn’t make promises I can’t keep. So I will make you this promise. I will do everything I can to save you. Vecna will not win. Not this time”

You nod and give a slight smile. Unsure of what to say. You’d like to believe she’ll save you and you’ll come back but you can’t let yourself be hopeful. Not today. Eleven heads back inside and her presence next to you is replaced by Max.

“Can we talk?”

“Of course Max. What do you want to talk about?”

“I’m scared. I’m so scared Y/n. I’m scared he’s gonna get you. I can’t lose you too. Please promise me you’ll come back. Please”

Hearing Max actually say it made it all so real. Suddenly you couldn’t breathe. You didn’t want to leave Max and you didn’t want to go through this. You couldn’t promise her you would come back because you’re so scared that you won’t. But you need hope. And you know she needs the hope to.

You swallow thickly and through a shaky voice and tears you force the words out of your throat.

“I promise Max. I’ll come back. I promise. You’ve gotta make me a promise though, okay?”

“Whatever you want.”

“When I come back you’re gonna read that entire book Lucas got you okay? The version of The Talisman he got you in braille?”

Max held out her pinky to you and you wrapped your pinky around hers. Securing your pinky promise. You and Max went back inside to finish the preparations with the others.

You take a moment to sit on the couch as you fill up some canisters with gasoline. You feel the couch shift next to you and before you can even register it Steve and Dustin are already helping you with the canisters. You take the opportunity between the three of you and ask the boys for a favor.

“You guys… I need you to do something for me”

“I mean y/n we’re already helping with the gas canisters and we got our own lists to take care of” Steve said poking a bit of fun. Obviously missing the stern look on your face until he turns towards you.

“Steve, Dustin, I’m serious….I need you guys to do this for me….incase I don’t make it back”

Steve and Dustin are both sitting at full attention now. They’re both fighting the urge to tell you everything will work out. That everything will be fine. But after everything that’s happened they know that’s not what you need to hear.

You continue in a hushed tone making sure if anybody were to walk by that they wouldn’t hear you. “I need you guys to take care of Max. I don’t know what’s going to happen in there but I need you to promise me that no matter what you’ll watch Max. If I don’t make it back she’ll need you guys more than ever. And if things are going south don’t go out of your way to bring me back. Please. I don’t need any of you guys getting lost for me”

The two boys don’t say anything and Dustin looks close to tears. You grab one of each of their hands and squeeze tightly and you make eye contact with each of them.

“Promise. Me. Please” your tone is firm yet pleading.

Steve nods yes and runs his hands over his face and leaves his head in his hands. Dustin wipes a tear away and through quivering voices each boy swears to you.

Steve had to get up a moment later because Robin needed help loading a gun and when Steve even heard that Nancy had handed Robin a gun in the first place Steve was already off. You sat there with Dustin on the couch still holding his hand.

It killed you to ask him to make that promise but you had to. You knew after what you both went through with Eddie that you had to make Dustin promise to go and leave if it meant he lived. Because you knew if anything happened Dustin wouldn’t want to leave you there and not make the same mistake again but you can’t risk Dustin getting hurt.

“What are you going to say to him?”

Dustin’s words tore you out of your deep thought and you can’t help but be confused.

“What? Say to who?”

“To Eddie. What are you gonna say to him when we get him back”

Dustin forever the little optimist. You hadn’t thought about it really. I mean you never actually thought you’d be in this situation where you’d be able to see him again. What would you say?

“I don’t know actually….I haven’t let myself think about getting him back..it doesn’t feel real yet. What would you say?”

“I’m gonna tell him he’s not getting party leader back” you laugh at this and lean on Dustin for a moment. For that moment you let yourself be hopeful. You imagine what it would be like if you guys won the battle, if you got Eddie back, If you survived. And for the briefest moment you allow yourself to smile.

The group was pretty split when deciding if they should rest and try to save some energy before going to battle Vecna or just head out immediately and try to get it over with. You manage to convince the group that you’ll be okay and everyone can attempt to get some shut eye but you have a feeling they won’t.

However as you’re standing outside loading the last of the weapons into the back of Steve’s car before you head in for the night, you begin to feel a bit funny.

You turn towards Will who’s loading the last few weapons into Hopper's truck. Will can feel it too and he turns to look at you. Eyes wide Will begins to call for help and although you’re confused for a second as to why he’s calling for help, it doesn’t take long for you to feel the blood running down your face from your nose. A lot of it. You’re wearing your Walkman and listening to your music so he can’t get into your head right? Right?

You look up towards the cabin for a moment to see a crowd of people running towards you and that’s the last thing you see as your body heads towards the pavement.

Everything is quiet for a moment before you hear heavy breathing. Vecna's breathing. You can still hear the music blaring in your ears but then the flashing images start. There’s the cliff above Hawkins, images of a girl from your highschool, the flashing images of her bones breaking one by one. Suddenly the images change and there's a giant monster towering over Hawkins, you recognize it from Will's drawings, the images change again. This time a taunting laugh comes with them as the images change to Eddie dying in Dustin’s arms as you lean over him. The final image is of Eddie, but you’ve never seen Eddie like that. The images begin to repeat from the beginning and you begin to feel flashes of pain throughout your skull with every image.

Will could feel it before it happened. Not too long but enough to turn around and catch a glimpse of you before it went wrong. He saw the blood pouring from your nose and immediately called out for help.

Mike and Eleven were the first ones to reach you but the entire gang was out there seconds later.

“WHAT DO WE DO? WHAT DO WE DO? I THOUGHT THE MUSIC WAS SUPPOSED TO STOP THIS” Mike was obviously in full on panic as your body began to shake as he and eleven held you.

“It is! It is supposed to work, that's the only thing Viktor Creel told us was able to help him!” Nancy was crying. She had no idea what to do with you.

“Guys! GUYS!” Steve was standing at the head of the group taking charge once again. He was visibly panicked too but still taking charge.

“This is different. He’s never attacked like this”

Steve’s shaking his head. He’s onto something but he just doesn’t know what.

“She’s not in the same trance as everyone else. It’s not even the same as her first trance. The victims never faint or get a nosebleed as they get possessed. Something different is happening this time”

Carefully Steve and Hopper picked you up from Mike and Elevens arms and they carried you inside as best they could despite your shaking body.

“What’s happening to her” the voice that rang through the room left everyone quiet. They didn’t want to tell Max that Vecna was already trying to get you again. But they couldn’t keep it from her.

“Max….it’s Vecna…he’s trying to get y/n again but somethings off” Lucas had expected Max to panic upon him saying this but she didn’t. She inhaled a sharp breath and reached out her hand.

“Take me to her” Lucas looked around the room for any objections and turned and took Max’s hand. Leading her over to your body on the couch.

Max sat down beside you and took your hands in her own. As soon as she did you stopped shaking. Max trailed her hands up to your face and around to where the headphones were resting on your ears. Her hand trailed further and followed the cord all the way down to the Walkman. As she reached for it she felt Dustin’s hand on top of hers in an attempt to stop her from whatever she was going to do. She didn’t know who’s hand it was trying to stop her, but it didn’t matter.

“Trust me”

Is all she said as she gently lifted Dustin’s hand off of her own and pressed pause on the song. She put her hands back onto your face and cupped your face. She began to sing. Not your favorite song but her own. In a quiet voice Max began singing, running up that hill to you.

Slowly everyone else joined in. It wasn’t dramatic or happy in the slightest despite how many people were singing it together.

It was small, it was desperate, it was hopeful.

You could hear them all. You heard Max above all and you fought to open your eyes.

You ignored the pain in your mind and focused on the voices. The images flashing across your mind were beginning to fade. You forced yourself to replace the images flashing in your mind with happy ones. Your mind fishes with images of Max and the first time you guys went skateboarding together. The times you and Max snuck out through the window as your parents were fighting.

Opening your eyes with a flash and sitting up straight gasping for air. Tears flood your eyes as you hug the closest person to you. Which happened to be Max. The room is silent except for the sobs the two of you let out as you hold each other.

After a few minutes of crying you pull away from Max but make sure to keep your arms intertwined as you turn to the rest of the group.

“We’re running out of time. We need to go now”

“Woah woah woah kid slow down we can’t just pick up and go right now, you just almost died. Give it a minute” Hopper was kneeling in front of you and Max by the couch. You know he means well but you don’t have time.

You look up at him and look around the room at everyone. Making sure you speak loudly enough to ensure your voice is loud enough for everyone to hear your next words.

“I’m sorry but we need to go now. Vecna just claimed his second victim”

Everyone looked around the room in shock. You looked at Will.

“You felt it. Didn’t you? You know I’m right Will”

Everyone looked at Will and all he did was nod his head yes. Nancy was the first one to ask you.

“Y/n what happened to you?”

“I don’t really know. He didn’t have me like he did before. I could hear him though. He showed me things. I saw Bethany R up on the cliffs near the lake. Vecna got her and he showed it to me” you were crying as you said this. It dawned on you that Vecna may have forced you to watch his next victim because he couldn’t get to you with your headphones on.

“He showed me the mindflayer, it was towering over Hawkins….he showed me Eddie…I’ve never seen him look like that before…he just kept showing me all that over and over again. It hurt” by now Max was hugging you tightly.

Your eyes found Nancy’s again and you could tell that was hard for her to hear. You figure it must have brought back some memories of what Vecna made her see last year. You can’t help but wonder if he showed you any of the same things.

Eleven turns and whispers something to Hopper. Causing Hopper, Eleven, and Joyce to leave the room. When they come back Hopper announces a new plan leaving Mike and Will angry.

“No, absolutely not! No! I’m not leaving Eleven to fight this alone!”

“She won’t be alone Mike” Hopper said, trying to calm Mike down but to no avail.

“It doesn’t matter if she won’t be alone, Mike and I aren’t leaving her!” Will was standing now and he looked angry. You’d never seen Will this angry.

“It’s not up to you guys.” Eleven took Will and Mike by the hand.

“I’m doing this on my own. You two would not be able to assist me. Your party needs you”

Hopper and Steve swapped keys and You, Steve, Robin, Dustin, Mike, Will, Lucas, Max, and Erica all piled into Hopper’s truck. You watched as Hopper, Joyce, Eleven, Nancy, and Jonathan piled into Steve’s car.

Once you got to the main road you watched as Hopper and them turned and drove toward the cliffs while you and the gang began to drive towards the laundry mat. It finally struck you just how real all of this was. That it was really happening and you were about to go into an interdimensional war yet again. This time however you swallow your fear, straighten your back and take a deep breath. You don’t know what’s coming but you know you won’t go down without a fight.

The car comes to a stop in front of the laundromat and you’re the first one out of the car making your way to the trunk. You start gathering weapons. You wrap some belts of bullets around your waist and you grab a utility belt full of knives and a machete. You watch as Steve grabs a flamethrower and some knives. Once you, Steve and Robin have grabbed a sufficient amount of weapons for yourselves you turn and look at each other and nod.

You turn around and look at the kids.

“Okay guys. Take your pick”

They all perk up at this.

“Wait really? We get to use the guns and shit”

You turn and look at Steve and Robin once again all in agreement. Normally you wouldn’t condone the kids having guns, grenades, and knives but nothing about this was normal. They need to be able to defend themselves.

You grab one gun in particular that you’d picked out at the war zone specifically for Lucas and you walk it over to him.

“I thought I was just keeping watch with Max and Erica?”

“We don’t know what’s going to happen in there Lucas and we also don’t know what’s going to be happening out here. Here, take it. I will say it’s got a stronger kick than the slingshot but I think you’ll like it”

Lucas takes it and studies it, the longer he looks at it you can tell he’s no longer studying it but just admiring it. You walked over towards Erica and you pulled a special knife out of your utility belt.

“Oh my god. Is this what I think it is?”

“If you think it’s a Kukri than you’re right”

Erica looked at you and gave you a pretty big smile despite the current circumstances and gave you a quick hug.

Lastly you walked over to Max and took her hands in yours.

“You’re not giving me a weapon are you?”

You laughed slightly and she did too.

“You’ve got two VERY competent people looking out for you. I wouldn’t worry too much”

You say and you make sure to make eye contact with Lucas ensuring that he hears you.

“You’re coming back Y/n Hargrove or I swear to god”

“I’m coming back Max. I’ll be back.”

You give her a tight hug and linger there for a moment before you pull away.

You turn and look at the gang and you all head towards the door of the laundromat.

As you walk through the door the laundry mat is quiet. So quiet it’s eerie and you can even hear a slight ringing in your ears. Steve takes the lead and walks by rows upon rows of washers and dryers until you reach the very back of the building. You turn and look at the wall and find broken in the wall between 4 sets of machines is a pulsating gate. It’s red glow emanating from the area.

You step forward and unsheathe your machete from your utility belt and slice at the pulsating sack that covers the gate. It takes a few whacks but you can finally see into the upside down. You hesitate upon seeing it. It’s now or never you think. So you step through.

One by one everyone begins to step through the gate. Steve turns to Lucas and pulls him aside a few steps and puts the car keys in Lucas’s hand.

“Listen Lucas….if things go south. You take Max and you take Erica and you drive as far away from here as possible. You got it Sinclair?”

Lucas turned and looked towards Max and Erica and then back to Steve.

“Copy that. Good luck Harrington”

Steve put a hand on Lucas’s shoulder and gave it a light squeeze before he turned back towards the gate and walked through.

You’d forgotten how cold it was here. Not freezing and nothing you couldn’t handle. As you look around the upside down laundromat your anxiety begins to rise slowly. Being back in this place feels different now that Vecnas has been in your head. You wonder if this is how Will feels. Your question is answered when you and Will lock eyes and you both notice you have your hands on the back of your necks.

You both quickly break eye contact and continue to move forward.

“Okay well what now?” Mike said as he turned to Steve as he finished stepping through the gate.

Steve turned and looked at you and then he turned and looked at Dustin. You could see the pity in his eyes as he began to speak.

“Well now Wheeler. We find a way to get to the trailer park.”

“Wait what? Why are we heading to the trailer park?” You asked in a tone that was a bit snippier than you meant it to be. Hopper and Steve hadn’t filled you all in on the new plan and this surely wasn’t a part of the last one.

“What happened to us heading to the creel house and starting there?”

“Eleven said that Eddie isn’t with Vecna. He may be controlled and led by Vecna but he isn’t with him but she didn’t recognize where he was. Hopper suggested we start at the last place Eddie was when he died and start there”

Steve was already making his way outside the laundry mat.

Dustin looked at you and it was clear you shared the same emotions about heading back to that trailer park.

“I think y/n’s right even if Vecna isn’t with Eddie why would we start at the trailer park? It's been almost a year shouldn’t we start at the creel house and follow leads from there?”

As Dustin said it you realized you were both wrong and you sighed and leaned against the washing machine by the door.

“No Dustin. Steve’s right. If Eddie heard me on the walkie talkie that means he’s been at the trailer park recently. That’s usually where I would talk to him”

You covered your face with your hands briefly and sighed. It was hard enough going home to the trailer park everyday in your world but coming back here where everything happened? You hated the idea of it and you were getting a bad feeling. Should you even be here?

Inhaling sharply as you feel a slight touch to your shoulder and you look up at Robin whose face is painted with concern but also a look that lets you know you need to get going. You nod your head and stand up fully and head out the door.

The gang's first stop was to break into the Brickman's household. They had 8 kids and they all would ride around the neighborhood. So you broke into their house and stole their bikes first so you could get across town.

Even with the bikes it still feels like it takes an eternity. You can’t help but wonder how the other teams are doing and if they’re okay.

Coming to a screeching halt on your bikes, you turn and make eye contact with Will. Both clearly panicked as you two walked away from your bikes and started looking around.

“Will? Y/n? What’s going on? Guys what’s happening?” Mike was looking around frantically trying to figure out why you two were acting this way.

You spotted it. Up on a power line head low watching you intensely. It was one of those things. The things that killed Eddie. A demobat. You walked towards the power line holding eye contact with the bat. Why wasn’t it moving? Attacking? Where are the others? It climbs down the power line and down the pole and gets closer to you. You’re still standing a bit aways from the pole but it could definitely see you better this way.

All of a sudden it flies off and it happens so fast that you stumble back and trip and fall on your ass. What the hell was that? Why didn’t it attack you? Or screech to call the others? The feeling doesn’t leave though. You can feel something dangerous is near and it wasn’t the demobat. You look down from the power line into the Forest and you see a demodog.

It’s stalking you.

By now the others are all coming to try and help you off the ground but you hold up your hand signaling them to pause. You guide their gazes slowly with your hand. As soon as you get back on your feet it lunges and is running at you.

Mike and Robin are quick to the draw. Robin quickly begins shooting with the shotgun that Nancy had shown her. And Mike begins shooting at it with a revolver. Steve and Dustin take the final shot when Dustin uses a lighter and hairspray from one side with Steve and his flame thrower across from him.

The now on fire demodog turns and runs back injured into the forest.

Everyone takes a moment to stop and makes sure everyone is okay.

Getting back onto the bikes everyone seems to be peddling a little faster than before. Finally arriving at the trailer park everything is silent. Everyone takes a moment and just stands in front of the entrance to the trailer park sign. As if once you cross this threshold there is no return.

Dustin takes the first step. You watch as he begins to take more steps, each one adding confidence. But you seem to be frozen in place. Mike puts his hand on your shoulder and nods his head towards the trailer park. He gives you a slight smile. You have no reason to but you smile back and step with him into the park.

The very second your foot touches the dirt you know it was a mistake and that you shouldn’t have come here. Your nose begins to bleed and your skull feels like it’s going to split open when you hear Vecnas voice ring in your ears.

“I see you. I see ALL of you”

Grabbing your head and collapsing to your knees you look around to see Will doing the same. It stops rather quickly and that worries you more. He’d just confirmed to you that he knows exactly where you are and can get into your head in a snap and he didn’t. Why?

You and Will stand back up and say in sync “He knows we’re here. He knows where we are”

“Oh god what are we gonna do? Steve, what do we do? Where do we go? Can he get in all of our heads now? If he can, why hasn’t he? If he was in their heads why didn’t he do anything?”Robin was now shaking as she said this. Robin looked like she was losing it.

“This doesn’t change anything.” Everyone turned and looked at you like you were the one losing it now.

“This doesn’t change anything. The plan goes on just as we said. That’s all we can do now”

They knew you were right. You all had your missions and you’re sticking to yours. Wiping the blood off your face and standing back up straight you walk further into the park. Making your way to Eddie’s trailer you swing open the door and stride inside.

Once inside you come to an abrupt stop. There were demobats everywhere. Not everywhere you’re just panicking. But no matter how many are in here anything more than 0 is too many. They’re mostly on the walls. Not moving much or slightly crawling. But they’re all awake. And they all see you.

Dustin steps in behind you and you quickly turn around and shut and lock the door from the others.

“Dustin! shit! Get out!” You whisper yelled at him. He turned around and his eyes widened as he realized what you guys had walked into.

“Why aren’t they attacking us?”

“I have no idea. Why didn’t that 1 attack me earlier. What is Vecna up to? What game is he playing?”

You decide to do something stupid and walk right up to one of them. And get close enough to feel its breath on your face. It does nothing. You turn around to Dustin who looks dumbfounded at what you’d just done.

Turning away from Dustin you continue through the trailer. Most things in the upside down look unused and disgusting.

Eddie's trailer didn’t. It was still dark and well upside down but there were no vines in here. Sure there were bats but things were relatively livable? Once you got to Eddie’s room it confirmed it for you. He wasn’t in there but someone had been. And relatively recently. Judging by the fresh cigarette butts in the ashtray by his bed. There was a drink on the table as well. It was full of some liquid but it didn’t look like water and it’s so dark you can’t quite make out what it is.

“Dustin? What is this?” You hand him the cup to let him examine it. Dustin pours some into his hand and even sniffs it to investigate. You promise yourself if he goes to lick it that you’ll smack him. Thankfully he doesn’t but he turns to you with a concerned and confused look.

“Y/n. This is blood.”

A loud bang comes from the front of the trailer, forcing you and Dustin to break your conversation. As you and Dustin look down the hallways you see Steve angry faced making his way towards you with the others.

“What the hell was that you guys, you can’t just lock us out of the trailer and not respond Jesus Christ I thought you two could have been dead in here. Don’t you two ever do that again” Steve had his hands on his hips and he looked furious. You really did feel bad but once you two started investigating the trailer you guys kind of forgot they were out there.

Dustin told Steve what you two had discovered and as they stood there questioning why Eddie would have a cup of blood by his bed you made your way over to one of the bats on the wall. It blinked at you and made very wide eyes. You swallowed thickly and stepped forward. Reaching a shaky hand out you pet the demobat. It’s not a pleasant feeling and you never want to do it again.

It nods at you and crawls on the wall towards the trailer door.

“you guys?” Dustin and Steve are still enthralled in their blood conversation and haven’t noticed what’s happening.

“YOU GUYS!!!”

You, Robin, Will, and Mike all yell it in sync and the boys turn confused as the rest of you head towards the door. You open the door and the bat flies out and lands on a mailbox two trailers over. You run out to your bike and begin to get on it.

“Woah woah woah y/n where are you going?!”Steve hadn’t quite caught up but when you turned to look at the group it appeared he wasn’t the only one. Everyone looked at you like you were insane. You turned and looked at the bat and then back at the group.

“I think it wants us to follow it”

“Uh yeah exactly so why would you follow it?” Steve asked and you realized that’s why everyone thought you were crazy. Why were you following this bat?

“I have this feeling…I can’t explain it….But when I looked at it…I need to follow it. So either come with me or don’t but I’m following this bat.” You get on your bike and begin to ride. As you do the bat flies into the air. Not too fast but enough to where you can just barely keep up. You don’t need to turn around to know the rest of the gang had gotten on their bikes and were following along with you.

It finally dawned on you a few miles in. The demobat was taking you to the highschool. The closer you got to the highschool the faster you biked. Something in you told you that was where you needed to be.

Once you reach the parking lot you watch the demobat fly up onto the roof of the school and out of your view. As you bike around the school you realize it’s been boarded up pretty heavily and decorated? Eddie had to have been here. Who else would take the time to spray paint corroded coffin on the side of a highschool in the upside down. There was one door not as boarded up as the others so you made your way over to that door.

Steve made sure to take the lead of the group and stepped into the empty school hallway. Once he saw it was clear he waved the rest of you in and you began to walk through the school. The school was lined with demobats on the inside and they all seemed to originate from one room. You made your way to the theatre room door and put your hand on the handle. Opening it with a shaky hand.

You’re greeted with an odd sight. The room is set up for dungeons and dragons. At the end of the table is a new throne. A large one. Compared to the trailer this looked like where Eddie was actually living. His amps were set up and his guitar was hung above the throne. He had to be here. There was a cigarette burning in the ashtray and an open comic book on the table. But no sight of Eddie. You all continue investigating carefully, trying not to disturb the bats. Everything comes to a freeze when you hear footsteps on the roof. Turning around with wide eyes looking at the group, you run out of the room and make your way outside the building. Hopping on your bike you begin to ride around the school looking for a way to gain access to the roof.

On one side of the building there’s a dumpster pushed up next to a big shed connected to the main building. Coming to a stop and one by one getting off your bikes and heading towards the dumpster. You’re the first to climb up and go all the way onto the roof. You run into the center and begin to look around for the bat or any sign of Eddie.As the moment passes and you don’t see the bat you begin to wonder what's taking so long for your friends to join you on the roof. Running over to the edge of the building you feel your chest tighten.

Nobody was there. What you heard next made you want to vomit. The beginning of that goddamn chime ringing in your ears as you slowly turn around. You find yourself face to face with Billy.

“It’s time to join me y/n”

“no no no no” your shaking your head in a panic. You’d lead yourself into your own trap.

“You should have joined me that night. At the mall. I know you think about it all the time. How guilty you felt watching your own brother die. Or is it the guilt you felt about the relief? You wanted me to die. You let me die. So you are going. To. Join. Me.”

Will was the first one to make it to you on the roof. Calling for the others before he even reached you because he just knew. Steve was the first to discover you no longer had your Walkman assuming you must have dropped it when you fell on your ass earlier or somewhere along the bike rides. They were all screaming your name panicking.

“DUSTIN HENDERSON”

A loud voice boomed from the opposite side of the roof. The entire group freezes and spins around to see Eddie Munson. Standing tall in the midst of a large swarm of Demobats. Eddie was different. His eyes had a dark red glow to them. Black veins straining from his eyes down his face. He had large black wings outstretched on his back.

“E-E-Eddie? Is-is it really you?”

Eddie used large strides to walk across the roof. Out of instinct everyone moved to shield your body. They weren’t sure if you were safe around him.

The closer Eddie got the more Dustin could clearly see Eddie’s blood stained clothes. He could see faint scars of where the Demobats had bitten him. When Eddie was close enough Dustin could see his smile. And the blood dripping from it and his bloody fangs. “Oh god. Eddie what did he do to you man?”

Eddie looked at Dustin and dropped his forced smile and fought enough to give Dustin one warning.

“I’m sorry man” that’s all Dustin needed and it was enough to know. Eddie was in there but he wasn’t at the wheel right now. And that’s when the gang realized the bats had settled and were now surrounding the gang on the roof.

“E-Eddie please. I don’t know what you’re doing man but it’s me it’s it’s Dustin I know you’re in there please don’t do this”

All Eddie could do is cry as he was forced to sick his Demobats on his friends. He fought it as much as he could and held as many back as he could trying to at least give them a chance.

They all fought the bats stabbing them, beating them, burning them. But they just kept coming. And when things couldn’t get any worse, your feet begin to leave the ground.

As Billy continued to yell at you and stalk towards you the more you continued to back up. You hit the edge of the roof and fall but you don’t hit the ground. You keep falling until you land on your old living room floor. This is the first house you lived in when you got to Hawkins.

You hated this house. It always smelled like cigarettes and beer. Between Billy and your dad you couldn’t tell who was more responsible for it. That’s when you heard it. Your dad is beating on every door in the house.

“OPEN UP YOU LITTLE SHITS. HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES DID I TELL YOU TO HELP OUT YOUR FUCKING STEP MOTHER”

You had nowhere to run. He was at every door. You collapse onto the floor and curl your knees into your chest and cover your ears with your hands. Pleading for it to stop. Pleading for it all to go away. That’s when you feel a hand on your wrist.

Dustin walks through the swarm of Demobats. Pushing and cutting his way through until he gets to Eddie. They’re both crying.

“EDDIE!! PLEASE!! I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE! YOU NEED TO MAKE THIS STOP LOOK AT HER EDDIE SHES GONNA DIE. SHES GONNA DIE UNLESS WE HELP HER AND THE ONLY WAY TO HELP HER IS IF YOU MAKE THIS STOP!”

The tears streaming down Eddie’s face burned. He’d missed you so much over the past year. He desperately didn’t want you to be here in the first place. He’d tried to scream at you over the walkie every night to tell you not to come here. He wanted you to just leave him here. He didn’t want to watch you die. He couldn’t bear the thought of it. He hadn’t looked at you yet since being on the roof. He had to force himself to.

He began to fight against the force controlling him. With a shaky head he looked up and saw you floating. He got flashbacks to the night Chrissy died. He can’t watch that happen to you. He won’t watch that happen to you.

It’s like looking at you unlocked something. He found more strength to fight. Strength to stand and command the Demobats to stand down. They all dropped like flies hitting the roof and crawling away. Eddie looked pained. Drawing that much strength to fight against Vecna's control made him dizzy.

He dropped to his knees. And Dustin ran over to him. Dustin’s gaze scanned across Eddie for a moment and Eddie couldn’t help but fear what Dustin would say. Would he call him a monster? Would he be disgusted? Would he want to kill him? Upon feeling Dustin’s arms wrapping around him in an embrace Eddie calmed down for just a second. He let his wings fade away and his fangs retracted. His eyes returned to a familiar shade of brown. He looked almost normal?

The two boys began to cry.

“I missed you so much Eddie.”

“I missed you too man”

The two boys stood up and ran back over to the group who were screaming and crying under your levitating body.

“Dustin, Steve come with me into the school”

“What? Why? We can’t leave y/n she’s gonna die!” Steve was clearly very angry at even the suggestion.

“I’ve got an idea but I need your help. I know it’s a lot to ask but you gotta trust me here man”. Dustin follows Eddie through a hole in the roof and down into the school. Steve contemplates for a second and runs after them.

You begin to scream and cry and try to move away at the grasp of your wrist.

“Y/n! Y/n it’s me! It’s me!!” You open your eyes to see Max and Eleven.

“What? What are you guys doing here? How are you here? You’re not real are you?”

“Y/n I promise we’re real. We found 001 in the creel house and I was able to get into his mind and then jump from his mind to yours when he attacked you” Eleven was grasping your hand and kneeling on the floor.

“Max? How are you here? Can you…see me?”

“I was in the laundry mat with Lucas and Erica and I got this overwhelming feeling like something was wrong. I focused on the feeling and began to wander through my mind. In that black void that eleven told us about. And then I found you. I can see you in my mind” she leaned down and enveloped you in a hug.

“So you have like? Powers now or something?”

“Heh I guess so. We’re gonna protect you y/n don’t worry”

You stood up and stood together in a circle as you looked around at the vibrating doors that surrounded you. Wondering which one would be the one to burst open.

Silence. As the front door inches with a creak.

“Clever. Cleaver girls” the deep voice of Vecna booms through the house.

All he does is tilt his head up quickly and the three of you are thrown backwards across the house, hitting the back wall hard. He walks up to you and puts his hand up to your forehead. And your life begins to flash before your eyes.

“WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU GUYS BEEN” Mike screams toward the hole in the roof when Eddie throws Dustin and Steve up onto the roof followed by amps and his guitar.

“SHUT IT WHEELER GET OVER HERE AND HELP US SET THIS SHIT UP” as soon as Eddie said it, Mike found himself falling back into old habits and following Eddie’s direct orders.

The amps and everything are all set up and Eddie looks toward the gang.

“Okay guys what’s Y/l/n’s song?”

The group looked around at one another hoping one of them held the answer. Nobody did. Steve stood with his hands on his hips

“Seriously we spend all day with her and not a single person bothers to ask what songs playing on her fucking Walkman?” Mike kicks a rock on the roof really hard and it goes flying.

As your life flashes before your eyes you feel weak. You’re scared you don’t wanna die. Not here, not like this. You promised Max you’d come back. You don’t want to leave her.

As everyone argues about what they think your favorite song could be, Eddie decides to take a chance. If he doesn’t try something you're as good as gone anyways.

He thought back to one of the first nights he really started to get to know you. When the gang split up you offered to stay with Eddie. Keep him company so he wouldn’t be so alone on the run. You’d spent the day playing stupid tossing games and talking about absolute nonsense to avoid the topic of him getting arrested for murder.

You’d gone home and came back with snacks, drinks, games, and your cassette player with some cassettes. Eddie chose to play AC/DC’s highway to hell album. He’ll never forget the way you got up and danced with him during Touch Too Much. You were so silly during it. He’d never seen you be that silly before and it made him laugh so hard.

He remembered that you knew every word to almost that whole album and you definitely knew every word to that song. He knew you at least liked it cause he listened to you hum it or sing it on your walkie talkie at least once a night for almost the past year. It was all he had to go on so, he started to play.

As images of your life continue to flash you begin to hear the sounds of a guitar in the distance. You recognize the tune. What is that? You get flashes in your mind of Eddie. That night when you were hiding out. But then more images begin to flash of the first time you played D&D with him. How funny he was and how much he made you smile.

You thought back to when you guys talked alone in the back of the Winnebago and he talked about how much he wanted you to be a part of his next campaign and how excited he was. But then how sincere he got when he said he was glad he met you and how thankful he was that you stuck by his side when he was literally wanted for murder.

You began to think of more happy memories not just with Eddie but with everyone. The times hanging out and getting high with Steve and Robin and the weird movies they’d make you watch from family video. The time spent arguing with the kids at the arcade because you loved being competitive with them.

BOOM! Vecna is shoved away from you and across the room as Eleven uses her powers to shove him into the wall.

Being free from his grasp you look around and you see a portal. Where the music is coming from. You can see Eddie playing the guitar and all your friends standing beneath your floating body.

You turn back towards Eleven who is now tearing into Vecna with all the strength she has. You run over to Max and grab her hand. You point toward debris of the house on the ground and you each grab some. You both take a side and start to lunge at Vecna, beating and stabbing Vecna with the pieces of the house.

You can see Vecna is almost dead and Eleven is on the verge of killing him when she turns to you.

“it’s time for you guys to go. I’ve got it from here. Run.”

You turn to Max and nod. Max leaves your mind and you begin to run toward the portal. Running as fast as your feet will carry you.

With a sharp inhale as your eyes finally roll back to the front of your skull you realize you’re falling. You’re actually falling this time, towards the roof. Luckily a handful of your friends are there to catch you. Robins hands grab onto your face to study you and make sure you’re really alive.

The second everyone realizes you’re okay and haven’t been Vecna’d they all tackle you in a hug. Thankful you’re still alive. As they all pull away you look around and lock eyes with Eddie. Immediately tears form in your eyes and you force yourself to stand and walk forward.

Eddie stills as he fears what you’ll do when you reach him. He flinches slightly as you cup his face in your hands.

“Eddie. Eddie it’s really you?”

“Yeah y/n yeah it’s me”

“I called you Eddie. I called you every night for a year”

He leans down and puts his forehead against yours. And whispers

“I heard”

You both smile and stand there like that for a moment. You can’t take it anymore and you jump up and give him a full hug.

The upside down begins to shake and Eddie holds you up to keep you from falling over from the quaking.

“WHAT NOW?!?” Dustin says clearly exasperated at the recent events.

“Uh yeah I think El might have just killed Vecna so we really need to go” the group turns to look at you and then everyone begins to run towards the edge of the building. You all run down to your bikes and Eddie goes into his other form revealing it to you for the first time.

As you go to get on your bike and he’s about to take off above you, you grab his hand and make sure to look him in the eyes

“Be careful Ed’s”

He smiles and squeezes your hand before taking off and flying above you. No matter what he’s become you need him to know that changes nothing about the way you feel about him.

Eddie follows as he watches you guys bike in the direction of the laundry mat in an attempt to make it back to the gate despite the quaking and cracking ground beneath your feet. Demodogs started chasing you guys but Eddie commanded as many bats as he could to attack and deter the demodogs and any that got too close he’d swoop down, snap their necks, drain them and drop them back on the ground.

Once you all witnessed him do this it confirmed all your suspicions as to what Eddie was now. You didn’t care at the moment. You didn’t have time to care. All that mattered was getting out of this place before it collapsed.

You made it to the laundromat and you all abandoned your bikes with ease as you made a b line for the gate.

As you all ran through the gate you grabbed hold of Max and Lucas and Erica and started running towards the Laundry Mat door.

As you all reach the fresh outside of the real Hawkins you all turn and watch as the Laundry Nat collapses and feel the ground shake beneath your feet. That’s when 3 demodogs come bursting through the rubble of the building. Lucas manages to blow the heads off of two of them right in front of you and Erica manages to stab one to death just before it reaches Max. Erica watches it as it dies a slow and painful death. You couldn’t be happier to see them at this moment.

Nothing earth splitting but the ground continues to go through another series of quakes beneath your feet. You knew the news would definitely be reporting some fallen trees tomorrow.

When the ground stops shaking you run over to the truck and throw open the door scrambling to grab the radio.

“HELLO??!? HELLO???!? DOES ANYBODY COPY?!?! IS ANYONE THERE?!???”

There’s silence. You’re just about to try again. Unwilling to give up. Unwilling to believe they didn’t make it out. When you hear the crackle of the radio and the relieved laughter of the chief on the other end.

“We’re here kid. We’re here!” You both begin joyous laughter across the radio. For the first time in days you felt relieved. There was no feeling creeping up your neck, no pounding in your skull. You felt at peace.

As you turn to face the group you all have these stupids grins on your faces. You were all alive and that thing was dead.

You all sit on the ground for a while just basking in the fact that you’re alive but you decide to leave incase cops or government show up. You all begin to pile back into the truck but Eddie doesn’t.

“Eddie? Come on.” You wave your hand flagging him over to the truck. But he doesn’t move. He just looks at you with big eyes. Walking over to him you put your hand on his arm.

“Eddie? What’s wrong?”

“I’m just not sure going to meet the chief of police is a great idea. Hell I’m not sure being back in Hawkins as what I am is a good idea y/n. I mean I never felt like I belonged here before but shit” his voice was shaky. You could feel how scared he was and you hugged him.

As you pull away you stay in his arms and make sure to stay close to him as you speak in a low voice.

“Eddie. We just got you back. No matter what you’ve become, we're not letting you go anywhere else. You can trust the chief I promise. He’s the one who cleared your name after Dustin and I begged him to last year”

“Oh yeah I remember you telling me about that. I remember you cried as you told me about the news story you saw on the news where they painted me as a hero”

Blood rushed to your cheeks as he detailed the story from his point of view. He really heard you all those days. You leaned in and hugged him again. Very tightly this time and he hugged tightly back. You almost couldn’t breathe. He hugged you so tightly but you didn’t care.

“I missed you Ed’s” you whispered in his ear and he told you he missed you too.

Arriving at the cabin you see the other team has beaten you there and they all stand up off the porch and run to hug you guys. When it gets to your turn to hug Eleven, you make sure to thank her for keeping her promises.

Eddie stands off to the side a bit awkwardly and you grab his hand and lead him over to Will.

“I don’t think you two have been properly introduced. Eddie, this is Will The Wise. Will this is Eddie The Banished. Eddie recognized the name. Mike and Dustin went on and on about this Will The Wise who would join the party someday. Eddie also recognized his face. He remembers reading about Zombie boy in the newspaper. Kid was a local freak. A town outcast like him.

Eddie reached out an eager hand and Will accepted it. You left them as they got to talking about D&D for a bit. And soon enough Eddie, Dustin, Will, Lucas, and Mike were all running around playing pretend like they hadn’t lost a single day together. Seeing Max leaned up against Steve’s car head tilted back towards the sky, you walk over and lean against the hood with her.

“So you read to start that book tomorrow”

Max lets out a heavy groan that makes you both laugh.

“Fine but only for you”. You two leaned against each other and listened to the sounds of happiness coming from those around you. All the people are just glad to be alive together. Eventually everyone got tired and decided it was time to head their separate ways. The Byers, Hopper, and Eleven went back inside the cabin. Johnathan drove Nancy, Mike, Dustin, and Robin home. Steve drove you, Eddie, Max, Lucas and Erica home.

Steve pulled into the trailer park first and you, Eddie, and Max exited the car. As you were walking towards the trailers you heard the car door open and Max came running up to you guys.

“Could I stay with Max tonight?” You looked shocked at what Lucas had asked you. But you thought on it for a second and agreed anyway. You knew how he felt about her and knew he didn’t want to be without her and for tonight you could allow that. You could allow that because there's no way in hell you’re letting Eddie out of your sight. Not tonight.

You watch as Lucas and Max walk into your trailer and close the door as you make your way to the bench over towards the front of the park and sit down next to Eddie.

“I guess this is kind of like our spot?”

He laughs as he says it. He seems nervous. Tense.

“Yeah I suppose it is Ed’s.”

He stares up at the sky and you can’t help but stare at him. He looks so beautiful in the moonlight. As his dirty long hair full of leaves and dirt fair frames his face. And the boy desperately needs a shower. He still manages to sit there and take your breath away.

“You know Ed’s. I’ve sat on this bench every night for the last year rambling on about pretty much every thought that went through my head. How about you give it a try. What’s going on in that Munson head of yours”

You had a feeling you knew what he was gonna say. Why he was sitting out on this bench instead of walking into that trailer. He’s scared to see his uncle. Scared to show him what he’s become.

You knew Wayne. You were his neighbor for Christ sake and especially after you lost Eddie you went out of your way to get to know the man. A stubborn, quiet but nice man. You knew he loved Eddie more than anything.

“Well y/n I’m scared as hell. What if I walk in that door and all he sees is some monster. What if he doesn’t want me? Or worse Y/n what if he tries to kill me”

Scooting closer to him, you take his face into your hands, forcing him to look at you.

“Edward Munson. Your uncle is not going to leave you. Sure maybe he might have to adjust to the new you. But he will not leave you or throw you away. He loves you Eddie. He misses you Eddie.” Eddie swallows hard and takes a deep breath. Covering your hands on his face with his own hands he leans in and presses your foreheads together.

“Can we stay out here? Just for a little bit. I’m not ready yet”

“Of course Eddie”

You both lay back on the bench and sit in the quiet for a moment staring up at the stars. It took you a minute to realize you two were holding hands.

“Thank you Eddie.”

Turning his head to the side he looks over at you with a quizzical brow.

“For saving me Eddie. You saved my life back there”

“I mean it’s the least I could do after luring you into that trap”

“Hey, that wasn’t you. That was Vecna”

“He still used me to do it”

“Okay fine then I take it back I don’t thank you I’m not thankful at all” you say it through laughter obviously messing with him.

In return Eddie puts his hand up to his chest mimicking pain.

“Y/n you wound me. But hey seriously I’ll save you any time. And I should be the one thanking you. You didn’t give up on me you came looking for me and you guys got me out of there thank you”

You knew he was staring at you but you couldn’t look him in the eyes. After hearing how sincere he was when you thanked him your eyes threatened you with tears. You both lay on the bench for a few minutes until you hear Eddie take a deep breath and stand from the bench. Turning and taking your hands in his he forces you up from the bench and you begin walking towards the trailer.

He knocks. No answer. He knocks again a bit louder. No answer. He bangs on the door. There’s some angry grumbling from inside about having any idea what time it is and the door swings open.

Wayne Munson stops in his tracks. In his sights are his dead nephew and his neighbor looking disheveled, dirty, and exhausted. Wayne stumbles forward and grabs onto Eddie, eyes beginning to flood with tears.

“Eddie? Eddie my boy is it really you” Wayne managed to choke out the words and you can see Eddie beginning to tremble as he speaks back.

“Yeah Wayne it’s me it’s-it’s Eddie” Wayne grabs Eddie and pulls him into a tight hug that lasts a while as they cry into each other. Eventually they pull away and Wayne looks towards you. He reaches out and grabs your arm and pulls you in for a hug.

“Thank you. Thank you for bringing my Eddie back to me”

The three of you head inside the trailer and sit in the living room as you reveal the entire story to Wayne as he demanded to know. Eddie very reluctantly told Wayne that he’d become a vampire and all Wayne managed to say was

“Oh come on now you’re just gonna use that as another excuse to sleep all day” hearing him say this made Eddie laugh with relief as tears streamed down his face.

His uncle knew it wasn’t going to be easy and there would be a lot of adjustments but he didn’t care. He had Eddie back and that’s all that mattered.

Eventually sunrise came and Eddie decided he wanted to go shower and head off to bed and he offered to stay with him which you accepted. His uncle hadn’t had the heart to change Eddie’s room after Eddie died. He did clean it and organize it so it did take some time to find the clothes he wanted but eventually he found something and tossed you a shirt and some sweatpants.

You let him have the shower first because boy did he need it. He spent a good hour and a half in there and you bet it felt amazing. When he got out of the shower and it was your turn, you stepped in and let the water run over yourself for a while.

Running your hands over your hair you take a deep breath in and as you breathe out you just begin to sob horribly and you stand there hugging yourself until you calm down. Stepping out of the shower and drying off you’re thankful for the warmth that Eddie’s clothes bring.

Walking back into Eddie’s room you can feel his eyes on you. Watching your every move.

“You okay Y/n?”

“Mmhmm” is all you say and it definitely wasn’t enough to convince Eddie in the slightest.

“I don’t mean to pry but people who are okay don’t usually cry that hard”

You freeze upon hearing his words. Had you really been crying that loud? Turning to face him as he lays on his bed leaning against his wall, you walk over and sit next to him on the bed. Almost mimicking him you lean back against the wall in the same way he does. Turning to face him now much closer you begin to whisper.

“Just been stressed is all. Finally got to let it out” giving him a weak smile that he returns.

In the dim light of the room and seeing his faint smile painted across his face. The way his features look so soft when directed at you. The smell of the shampoo coming from his dark hair. You decided not to waste anymore time. You’d already lost him once.

“Ed’s?”

“Yeah Y/n?”

“I love you too by the way. I didn’t get to say it before”

The faint smile on Eddie’s face grows into a grin as he leans in incredibly close to your face. Your breath stills as you feel his lips brush against yours.

“I know. I know because I heard you say it to me every night for the past year”

He kisses you once deeply and slowly. You close your eyes and begin to kiss him back when he pulls away and continues speaking against your mouth

“I know because all I’ve thought about for the past year is getting back to you. Getting to see you. Getting to tell you how much I love you” he wraps one hand around your waist and the other hand moves to cup your face.

He must have brushed his teeth too. He tastes like mint and tobacco. You deepen the kiss even more, pushing your way into his mouth and leaning against him fully. His hand moves from your waist and curves up your back, pulling you into him.

He breaks the kiss and begins peppering kisses down your jaw and neck as you run your fingers through his hair. You can’t help but moan as he begins to suck on your neck in the area near your collarbone. As you moan Eddie pulls away for a second and takes your chin between his fingers to look at him.

“Baby you let me know if I’m taking it too far okay?” nodding your head up and down to signal yes.

“I need you to say it baby. Can you say it?”

“I’ll let you know Ed’s” you lean forward and capture his lips in a kiss. This time moving forward to straddle his hips. The kisses started out slow and deep but the more you kiss the more sloppy and feverish it becomes. It’s like you can’t even control it when you roll your rips up against Eddie’s for the first time. Sending a groan through Eddie as he feels you roll against his hard length and he feels himself get harder at the light moan you release upon feeling him too.

His hands roamed down to your hips and he grabbed at them as you continued to roll your hips against him. Every pretty sound you made, made him more desperate. He grabbed you harder and you knew you’d have bruises on your hips in the morning from his hands. You were so happy about it.

You begin to feel Eddie’s hand travel to the hem of your shirt and yank it a couple times and you get the hint. Breaking the kiss you lean back and strip the shirt from your body right in front of him. His hands are already on your breasts by the time you blink. He’s staring at them wide eyed like he just got a new toy on Christmas. You give a slight chuckle that turns into a moan as he begins to massage them in his hands. He bucks his hips up to yours causing you to whimper.

Your moans become erratic as he takes one of your nipples into his mouth and begins working his tongue around the area. You grind down hard against his dick and with a groan he releases your breast and flips you onto your back.

“S’this okay?”

“Yeah this is great actually” you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him down on top of you and into another deep kiss. You wrap your legs around his waist and he grinds down onto you. You reach down and pull on Eddie’s shirt hoping he’ll get the hint. He leans back and throws off his shirt and looks back down at you.

He begins to trail his hands up and down your legs and finally stops at the waistband of your sweatpants. “May I?” He asks, waiting for your approval to remove them.

“Please” you say sounding more desperate than you meant to but right now you were a bit desperate.

He begins to slide the sweatpants down and he gives your thigh a little slap

“Lift your hips for me baby” you do as he says and lift your hips as he slides the sweatpants along with your underwear down your body with ease. Once they’re off he eases your hips back down with his hand. “Good girl” he says and your whole body shudders a bit and he takes notice with a smirk.

He takes a second to lean back and just bask in the sight of you. You’re the only girl he’d dreamt about for the last year and now he knew nothing in his imagination was as good as the real thing. Hovering over you he captured you in another kiss as his hands traveled around your body. One hand was working its way further down your stomach, then your waist, his hand moved all the way down to your thigh taking it in his hand and grabbing it hard before he moved his hand back up and gently placed his hand to your folds.

Just by running his fingers up and down he could feel how soaking wet you were. He’d been able to smell your arousal for a while now but now he could feel it and he felt like he was losing his mind. He pressed his fingers between your folds and he began to rub your clit slowly with his thumb. Testing the waters to gauge your reaction.

Upon hearing your shaky moans he began to go faster, circling gently but fast enough to drive you crazy. As his thumb continued on your clit he slipped the tip of his middle finger into your entrance and listened as he buried his face in the crook of your neck upon listening to your shaky whimpering moans. He slipped his middle finger the rest of the way and began moving his finger in and out until he felt comfortable enough to add his ring finger. The way you were screaming his name made him feel like a god.

He was drunk off of the feeling of being with you. Everything about you was consuming him. All he wanted to know right now is what you would sound like as you came around him. And he just knew he was going to find out. Moving his fingers deeper in you and moving harder against your clit he knew you were getting close.

It had never felt like this before with anyone. It had never felt this strong before. You could feel yourself getting close and you could hear yourself crying Eddie’s name as you clenched around his hand covering his fingers in your cum.

As he worked you through your high and you came down you opened your eyes barely to look at him. Swallowing thickly as you watched him bring his fingers up to his mouth and lick them clean. When he was done you pulled him into a deep kiss where you could taste yourself on his tongue. You couldn’t help but moan into the kiss.

Eddie pulled away and stood to remove his sweatpants finally. Revealing the most painful erection he’s ever had in his life as you stare at his now naked form. You couldn’t help but admire every piece of him. Every scar, every tattoo. Eyes traveling lower however you began to admire his dick too. He was bigger than you’d imagined.

He moved back onto the bed and returned to his previous position above you and he nudged your legs open with his knee.

“Are you sure about this? If you need me to stop at any point you let me know okay?”

“I will Ed’s. Promise”

You feel his dick pressing up against you and you grab onto his arm and gasp slightly as he presses the head of his dick into you. He presses in a bit more and you throw your head back as you feel him stretching you out. One hand comes up to cradle the back of your neck as he makes the final push in and lets you adjust.

“Good girl. Such a good girl” he coos into your ear soothing you as you adjust to his size. Soon enough he finally moves and you both begin to moan at the sensation. You both try to hold back and take it slow but with each thrust and roll of your hips the more you begin to unravel. All the tension of the past year apart and the stress of the events from the past few days finally being released.

Both of you stop trying to go slow and the movements are now rough and sloppy.

One of Eddie’s hands moves down your leg and lifts your knee upwards. This allows Eddie to thrust into you at a new deeper angle.

You’re practically seeing stars and can’t put together anything other than his name or various curses.

Eddie’s head is buried in your neck as he moans and groans right into your ear the sounds just adding more and more to your pleasure. You know you’re close and you try to tell Eddie by babbling out a bunch of words.

He doesn’t need you to tell him cause he already knows you're close and he starts thrusting even faster and trying to make each thrust as deep as possible.

Your entire body shakes as your orgasm rocks you and can’t help but scream out Eddie’s name. It only takes a couple more thrusts for Eddie to come undone inside of you once he felt you fluttering and clenching around him he knew he was done.

You two stayed wrapped up in each other coming down from your highs for a few minutes until Eddie gently pulls out and rolls over on his back.

“Damnit now I’m gonna have to take another shower” Eddie says through breathless laughter.

“I think my shower will have to wait till tomorrow there’s no way I can stand up right now” you turn and look at him with a dopey smile and giggles. He leans over and gives you a tender kiss on the lips before he stands and walks out of the room. Returning a second later with a towel that he uses to clean the two of you up.

He crawls back into the bed beside you and wraps himself around you in a close hug as he covers you both with the blankets.

For the first time in over a year you both get a peaceful night's sleep with no pain, no nightmares, no flashbacks. And you fall asleep with a smile on your face knowing he heard you.

#vampire eddie munson #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fanfic #eddie stranger things #eddie munson #stranger things imagine #stranger things smut #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things x y/n #stranger things 4 #stranger things

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sunnysviolin · 3 years ago

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Oh god that. That shattered AU broke me. Kel angst is my new horrible addiction and I swear I. I need to know... wtf happens with him and Hero. I can see so vividly Hero trying to keep the last semblance of his old brother back but it just fails every time, literally the only reason Hero is trying to continue on is because he doesn't want to leave Kel behind, that he made a promise and he was going to stick to it. So I must ask... does Kel kill himself as well? Or even accidentally? My heart h u r t s pardner..... sad yeehaw

Welllll we know the answer to the last part of that ask, but I do want to continue this series, so I’m gonna use the one ask that I have about it. Before anything I will say like I always do with Shattered AU that this is a dark AU. There is no happy endings, and pay attention to the TWs.

TW: Suicide, TW: Depression, TW: Major Character Death, TW: Rage, TW: Grief

Dear Hero,

No one else wrote a letter, but I couldn’t do that to you. I know that you spent so much time wondering if you could have done anything different for everyone else. I want you to know you couldn’t have done anything different for me

Hero had begged his parents to be allowed to stay. He had begged and pleaded to take the semester off. It was just one semester, he was still going to graduate early at this rate, why couldn’t he just stay? Hero knew Kel needed him. Kel might not be opening up, but being with Hero seemed to be comforting for his little brother at the very least. Hero knew that if he had more time, he could crack through Kel’s shell and try to start healing what was inside.

I remember when Mari died. You were so tired and upset. I didn’t get it then, but I do now. I know that when you get tired like this it’s hard to do anything. It’s hard to breathe, it’s hard to think, it’s just all so hard. I probably didn’t make it any easier by pretending everything was fine. I understand why you snapped at me.

Hero’s parents had practically thrown him onto the train. They reassured him over and over that they could take care of Kel. They would keep an eye on him, they would make sure he took his meds, and ate, and got to school on time. They said this all while rolling their eyes and giving him good natured sighs. They both acted like this was something they were used to, but Hero knew this was different. When this had happened to him, they had left him to find his own way back. He wouldn’t let that happen to Kel, mostly because Hero wasn’t sure Kel would find his way back.

Right before you left for school you told me you always felt guilty for not coming back that night. I want you to know that even if you had, I would still be doing this.

They had forced Hero back to school, but it didn’t matter. Hero couldn’t think about school at all. All he could think about was how to help Kel. He ignored his classes in favor of reading about recovering after loss, he didn’t bother to study anything except what might help him get through to his brother. There wasn’t anything more important than Kel right now, and if he was being completely honest, there was a part of Hero that was spitefully going to fail the semester just to prove to his parents how wrong they were. Above all, Hero called Kel every single night. Their phone calls last year had been frequent, but short. Usually just a quick fifteen minute chat updating each other on their days. Now their phone calls lasted hours and hours, and mostly consisted of Hero rambling on while Kel hummed and made one word answers. It wasn’t perfect, but it was important.

You were why I didn’t do this yet, even though it’s been on my mind for years. First Mari, then Basil, then Sunny. How could I ever do that to you, when I knew what it felt like to be in your shoes? You were trying so hard to help me, you’re still trying so hard. You call and you call and you always want to listen. I’m sorry I don’t want to talk.

For the first time, Kel didn’t pick up the phone. His parents said Kel was sleeping, and they could talk tomorrow. Hero’s stomach dropped, and his mind went fuzzy. He needed to be there, he needed to see Kel. If he couldn’t hear Kel’s voice, then he needed to see his little brother to know he was still alive. He must’ve said the last part out loud, because his mother was adamant that he stay at school. She was so sure that both of her sons needed to get back to their normal routines, that the way to get things to normal was to force them to be that way. Hero knew better. He knew Kel needed him. He hung up on his parents, pacing back and forth with shaking hands. He didn’t know what to do. It was too late for a train, and he didn’t have a car. Hero just didn’t know what to do.

I know you’re trying, and I hope you know I was trying too. I really was, I promise. It’s just...it’s too much. It’s all too much I’m just done. I’m done trying, and I’m done waiting for things to get better when I know they won’t. I don’t see the point anymore. I’m going to die regardless, so why should I go through fifty more years of feeling like this, only to get to the same end?

Hero grabbed his shoes, running out of the dorm room and across campus to his friend’s midnight study group. They had started doing this for their organic chemistry class in their first year and then kept it up because midnight was the only time that the library truly was quiet enough to get work done. He hadn’t joined them in weeks, and he wasn’t sure they would even consider him a friend anymore, but Hero needed their help. One look at his wild desperate eyes and his pleas, and Tristan was grabbing his keys and handing them to Hero. It was an eight hour car ride, nine and a half because he hit traffic. It was nine in the morning when Hero got home and found the letter on his bed. When they found Kel, the police told him and his parents that Kel had most likely died early that morning, around 7:30 or 8:00. Hero was sure if he had just been an hour faster in making his decision to come home, then Kel might still be here.

I know it’s going to hurt you, I know that I’m being selfish, but like I said. It’s just too much now. I don’t know if I believe in God or anything. I don’t know what kind of God makes everything that happened to us happen, but if there is a God out there, I hope he lets us all be together when this is all over. We can go for a picnic by the pond like we used to. That’s where I’m going now. That seems like a good place.

He waited until the police left to speak to his parents. He didn’t even mean to start fighting with them, but there was no way he couldn’t. He had started off just talking, trying to ask them why they hadn’t listened to him when he had known. They refused to hold themselves accountable. That’s why he had ended up in a screaming match with his mother. That had to be why rage was boiling in his veins and clouding his thoughts. Hero had begged them to let him stay. Hero had told them Kel needed him. They hadn’t listened, and now his brother was dead. His brother, the love of his life, his friends, all of them gone. Kel was all he had left, and they had taken him away.

I did love you. I did. I promise I did. This doesn’t mean I didn’t love you.

Hero took the letter and the keys to Tristan’s car. He didn’t need to stay, and he didn’t want to. He didn’t care that his mother was wailing about losing her boy, he didn’t care that his father was trying to get him to come sit and be with them. He just didn’t care. The only person he had left to care about was gone, because Hero hadn’t been there. He wasn’t going to go to another funeral, he wasn’t going to see them lower his little brother into the ground. He wasn’t going to continue the endless loop of torture that his life seemed to have on repeat.

I’m sorry, Hero. I hope you can forgive me. Maybe this is for the best. Now you don’t have to worry about me anymore.

Hero walked down his driveway to his borrowed car, ignoring his parent’s calling behind him. There, right where the pavement met the road, was Aubrey. Her hair was messy all around her, her eyes bloodshot. The police had told him she was there when they arrived. They had questioned her, but after reading Kel’s note, they were sure she hadn’t been involved. Hero could have told them that himself, but it seemed no one believed that he knew anything. Maybe they were right. She asked him if he was leaving. She asked if he was coming back. His silence was response enough. She walked away before he could say anything, and that was good. Hero didn’t have anything to say anymore.

Maybe I’ll see you again.

There was really only one road out of Faraway these days. The construction around town left all the exits blocked off. Hero had memoized the route to and from his college almost a year ago, just to be safe. He had to take the third right to get on the highway. Hero drove past the third right. If he missed the third right, he could take the next left and turn around. He ignored the left. Hero drove straight until he couldn’t drive straight anymore, and then on a whim he took the right turn. He wasn’t sure where he was going exactly, but it didn’t matter. None of it mattered anymore.

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bluemoon-fever · 3 years ago

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i put a spell on you (sneak peek 2) | a. barber

a little note from me: hello! i've unintentionally taken a hiatus because i hit writer's block plus life has been very hectic. i'm trying to flesh out the series to make it something i'm really happy with and happy with sharing with the world. as for now, enjoy this sneak peek of the next part! (no promises on when it comes out next)

warnings: 18+ only due to AU, allusions to past smut, angst, fluff, descriptions of a panic attack and grief, mentions of divorce

series masterlist

When you woke up, you were held in Andy’s embrace, your head buried in the crook of his neck. You were wrapped up in a blanket, all parts of your body connected. While your underwear was nowhere to be seen, you were still wearing your sweater and skirt from the night before. Andy was still fully dressed (to your dismay). You stared up at his sleeping form, taking in his features. His steady breathing was music to your ears and the warmth from his body made you never want to leave his side. You relished in the moment, the bliss of being able to exist like this with Andy.

As Andy’s body stirred from sleep, you looked up at him, watching his sleepy blue eyes gaze upon you. A smile lit up his face at the sight of you, and you returned it. Last night, you had let Andy Barber in, physically and emotionally. You never thought you’d be able to feel this way again after losing Curtis.

Curtis.

Your body instantly recoiled from Andy. You got up from him, backing away from him, searching for your underwear.

You were so caught up in the moment that you forgot about your past. Guilt overwhelmed you, and you thought you were going to have a heart attack. How could you move on so quickly? It wasn’t right. You had just met Andy, and he was in the midst of a divorce.

Andy saw your worry grow. He got up slowly, not wanting to scare you. Inching closer to you, he placed his hand on your shoulder, anticipating you to flinch away from his touch. But you didn’t. You accepted it. It warmed his heart to see you beginning to let him in, but he knew there was a latent fear within you.

“What’s wrong?” he asked softly.

Your mind was running a mile a minute. Flashes of Curtis appeared in your mind: his voice, his scent, and his smile. All slowly starting to mold with Andy’s. And that terrified you.

You didn’t want to lose the memory of Curtis. You couldn’t. It wasn’t right, you kept thinking. Hearing and feeling Andy call you out of your thoughts had you facing your fear head on: your fear of moving on.

“I don’t want to-I,” you began. You couldn’t find the words. It was so damn hard. You mustered up your willpower and tried to put words to your thoughts and feelings. “I lost someone recently.”

Andy nodded. He correctly deduced it was a past lover. It made sense by your breakdown and hesitancy. He couldn’t blame you. A part of him felt guilty and truthfully depressed he and Laurie ended up the way he did. A small part of him missed her. He felt guilt for wanting you and doing everything he could to get you, so soon after the divorce, but something about you felt so different and so right that it outweighed the guilt he felt.

“I never thought I’d recover from losing him. It hasn’t been long, and it feels wrong falling for someone, but I can’t help it.” You looked up at Andy, your eyes wet with tears waiting to be spilled. “Am I a bad person?”

Andy softly grabbed the sides of your face and pressed a soft kiss on your forehead. “Never.” You closed your eyes, enjoying his comfort, trying to quell your feelings. “You’re one of the greatest people I’ve ever met. You can’t control your feelings. And you shouldn’t feel controlled by them to the point of distress.”

“Why do you always know what to say?” you said with a weak smile.

“My mom would always tell me this growing up. When things started falling apart with Laurie, I tried to imagine what she would tell me, how she would help me out. That night, I saw her in my dreams, I know I did. We all have flaws and emotions. We shouldn’t live in our negative emotions. We have to do what’s right for us, what makes us feel good by causing the least amount of pain to ourselves and others. I knew the divorce would hurt, especially Jacob, but in the long term, staying would hurt as well.”

“And as for us?” you asked.

“I can’t deny how I feel about you. But I’m willing to take this slow and do what works best for you.”

feedback is much appreciated! let me know any blurbs or drabbles you want to see for this series! <3

#i put a spell on you #i put a spell on you sneak peek #andy barber x black reader #andy barber x black!reader #andy barber series #andy barber fic #andy barber #chris evans x black!reader #chris evans x black reader #andy barber x reader

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hes-writer · 4 years ago

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Halo

Summary: y/n feels guilty for missing harry

Warnings: angst, slight fluff, mentions of vomiting and nausea, mentions of implied smut

Word Count: 7648 words

A/N: @devilinbetweenthesheet-s : don’t cheat and don’t do drugs, kids.

inspired by one of my anons. some parts are real and some parts aren’t :)

Tarnish (1) . Halo (2) . Reign (3) .

Reign Taglist

___

When the relationship ended, Y/N imagined being bed-ridden. A lack of motivation to do anything casual such as standing. Watching the television seemed to be a task that required all of her energy and full-attention to be able to understand the subtitles on the screen. Her friends would knock continuously on her door to be met with no response because she was asleep or Y/N couldn’t be bothered with pitiful conversation asking her if she was okay. She would be too tempted to ask how Harry was doing when she could easily pull out her phone and search his name in a few quick taps. These used to be easy; as easy as breathing and loving Harry was easier than loving herself.

How was he doing? Y/N hoped that Harry was regretting his actions. She was yearning for the vibration of her phone to restart her heart like an AED stuck to her chest, sending her pulses to remember that they were not what they used to be. Or maybe the snippy ringtone Y/N had set specifically for him and only him would ring through the air as she wallowed in a burrito blanket. Frankly too emotionally worn out to even move an inch as she watched her phone face down on the bedside table of her new apartment.

Life doesn’t wait until Y/N is capable of being back on her feet before thundering down with the foundations of living. Five days into the breakup did she realize that the money she had saved up would be spent faster than she can replace it if she stayed any longer at the hotel near the heart of downtown. It was a spur of the moment decision to ‘treat herself’; she thought she deserved it after being called names and thrown aside like a used toy. And on the fifth day, she was on the lookout for places to live in as she adjusted to her new life without Harry.

It wasn’t like Y/N was completely dependent on him. She had a well-paying job; just not as good as his. And she could afford a nice apartment, just not as nice as his mansion. Nor did it have the same toasty feeling that enveloped her when she walked through the doors. Y/N told herself that she would give it a few months; that maybe it was just the change in setting that misplaced every bone in her body because everything she did felt off. Deep down, Y/N knew that things weren’t the same without him. She could either live a life reminiscing how she--they--used to do things or she could change and adapt to this ball thrown at her.

The decision was in her hands, yet she hesitated with every gambling thought crossing her mind. On one hand, she was used to a routine. It was a routine that never got boring to her, solely because Harry found a way to make things interesting; refreshing. On the other, Y/N would be in a never-ending comparison of how much she missed him or pat her shoulders because she was able to compromise the old parts of her that existed when Harry was around and to integrate it with a new version that was wary of anybody getting close to her.

The challenge was not easy when the media got hold of the news. It seemed as if everywhere Y/N went---mixed reactions and judgement attacked her with doe eyes offering the best of luck or disgusted snickers telling that she deserved it and that they--Camille and Harry--were perfect for each other. But when Y/N quite literally was carrying a piece of him and her inside her stomach did she step up to what she had to become to raise her baby.

It seemed like yesterday when Y/N stared at her reflection in the en-suite bathroom of Harry’s home, pinching at a subtle layer of fat that she was sure wasn’t there a few days ago. Bloated cheeks that added a fullness to her face were substituted as the result of a bright smile plastered on her face because she Harry had pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead before she left for work that day. The sudden aversion to fragrant foods she absolutely adored flew right over her head and excused as a bad batch.

And the most painful memory was the day Harry and Y/N’s relationship ended. The beginning of something new, something beautiful was right under their noses. Y/N wondered what could have happened if she didn’t find the letter. When the symptoms of pregnancy became more obvious each day; would Harry notice the change in her physique? The crinkle of her nose when met with a sandwich containing pickles that she used to love?

Y/N couldn’t help but envision holding the stick with a tiny ‘+’ pixelated by dark colours. Sitting on the closed toilet seat as she contemplated delivering the news to him in the early hours of the morning after she was awoken by a flush of morning sickness. Y/N daydreamed about watching his sleeping face smooth out of any lines as he dreamed peacefully and wondered if this was still a part of what he wanted with her. Maybe she would jostle him gently, rousing him with a poke as she kneeled on his side of the bed, flailing the pregnancy test between her fingers until he blinked the sleep out of his waterline. Harry would present her a doozy smile before realizing what she held--to which he would sit up faster than he had ever done, gazing at her with a pleading stare. For Y/N to confirm that yes, she was pregnant. Yes, they were going to have a baby and yes, Harry was going to be a father. A little family in the works.

But that daydream was reeled in like a fishing hook in grave waters as reality grounded her. She was apparently two months into her pregnancy when Y/N had mistaken the sickness as an inevitable reaction to finding out his infidelity. Hearing him say the term of endearment as if he had not used it with another person made Y/N want to grab him by the shoulders to hold a steady contact, jostling him until answers spilled out of his mouth. Answers that Y/N deemed justifiable but was there ever a good excuse for cheating? She wanted to strip him out of the apologies filling his mouth and get straight to the question of why he had done it. But even then, Y/N knew that there was no way she was going to be satisfied with his answers. It was just a matter of her accepting that the idea of ‘what could have been’ would live inside her head because she was the only one that knew about the life inside of her.

Harry had not made an effort to speak to her besides arranging the dates to pick up her things. She had to wear large clothes to hide her growing belly because Y/N wasn’t sure if she even had the right to tell him something so personal anymore. It fit well with the narrative that she was a depressed homebody that craved the touch of his fingertips on her skin, the taste of his lips on her tongue and the weight of his arms around her. Albeit that he was the father, Harry had obviously moved on way before they ended; a little over a year ago now to be precise.

Y/N was almost one-hundred percent sure that Harry had blocked her number. Scratch that, she was certain if the way her messages failed to send were anything to go by. She could handle seeing the handle of ‘read’ on the bottom of a message because at least she’d know that Harry did read it and that he was aware. But watching the encircled, crimson exclamation point appear was just another reminder that he planned to erase four years from his life to start anew.

____

So what if at four months, Y/N was attending another doctor’s appointment by herself, trying to amount to as little attention as possible? Well, today was the day that she was going to find out the baby’s gender. Her bump was definitely noticeable now and extremely uncomfortable especially sitting on a plastic, grey chair in the waiting room. The device in her hand felt like stone perceiving the icon of blaring red that indicated yet another failed message to the contact previously named ‘My Love’, now to just ‘Harry’.

Y/N: I’m finding out the gender of our baby today

Y/N: I’m hoping for a girl but either way, I just want the baby to be healthy.

“Y/N? Dr. O’Sullivan is ready to see you,” The nurse clad in scrubs walked out with a clipboard gripped in her hands.

Y/N stood up, pausing to retrieve her items. She took a breath before entering the room, catching sight of the doctor in his stereotypical white coat focused on the computer screen that showed her information.

“You know what to do. Good luck today,” The nurse mused, handing her a folded hospital gown to change into as she pointed towards the direction of the room with a little nook to change privately. After struggling a bit with pulling off her top, Y/N tied the strings of the hospital gown.

“Hi, Y/N. How are you today?” He asked, standing up to gather the items he would need. Y/N made herself comfortable on the small bed, the white paper crinkling as her weight shifted.

She sighed deeply, “I’m alright. Really excited, actually,” A grin appeared on her face with just how close she was to find out the gender of the baby, “How about you?”

“Good as always,”

Connor O’Sullivan was the name of the doctor. They met when Y/N was in search of the top-tier family doctor’s around the city and instantly had a connection. He had a trustworthy aura that Y/N deemed acceptable to guide her to a healthy pregnancy. A friendship had definitely blossomed around the doctor-patient boundary but they stayed within their limits. Inside jokes existed but it had never crossed the line. And sure, touches to the shoulder happened once in a while but nothing had escalated further.

Y/N’s baby bump was exposed to the cool room. She shivered when a gloved hand applied the gel on her taut skin. Stretch marks were littering the sides of her tummy. It was itchy and uncomfortable. However, it was tolerable especially after applying a combination of creams and oil to soothe the ache. It was also another reminder that she really was about to become a mother.

“Cold?” Connor teased with an easy smile. Y/N rolled her eyes upwards in response, “You’re the doctor here,”

He chuckled, directing her attention to the small screen beside them. The static fizz of black and white slowly morphing to a more discernible image as he attached the device to her skin, finding the perfect angle to produce a clear picture. The first time Y/N saw her little baby; it was the size of a lemon. The next couple of visits showed progression in their growth; tiny baby feet, stubby legs, and sprouting fingers could be seen on the ultrasound.

They looked more and more like a proper baby now--like the ones one would see in the clinics and Y/N really couldn’t believe that she was about to find out their gender. Y/N couldn’t tell just by inspecting the picture because of her lack of expertise.

“You’re having a. . .” Connor began, edging his voice at the last word. He wiggled his brows as Y/N’s eyes widened.

She balled her fists, “Oh, hell. Just spit it out, C,”

“A girl. You’re having a little girl,” He peered up at the patient, watching tears fill the brim of her waterline as she gasped, palming her slightly open mouth.

“A-a girl?” Y/N craned her head to look at the square image, blurrier because of the tears but beautiful nonetheless. “I can’t believe I’m having a girl,”

The doctor wiped the gel off of her tummy with a cloth, switching off the machine as he waited for another reaction out of her. Y/N tossed her legs to the side, putting on her slip-on vans to fully-comprehend the news. “I’m having a baby girl,”

Connor nodded, releasing an ‘oomph’ at a sudden pressure around his middle. Y/N wrapped her arms around him, feeling the tube of his stethoscope dangling against her cheek. Her lashes fluttered, happy tears streaming out. He returned the gesture with soft rubs on her lower back.

“I’m sorry, I’m so emotional,” Y/N pulled away with a huff, using her fingertips to rub the wetness towards her temple. “I’m so happy but I just wished that he was--,” She cut herself off, pursing her lips as an image of Harry carrying their baby appeared in her head.

“I understand, Y/N.” Connor mirrored her distraught expression as he really did feel sorry for Y/N. However, he couldn’t explain the extra twinge in his heart at seeing her frown over a lost love. “You’re doing great on your own,”

She sighed for possibly the tenth time that day, “We both wanted to name her Halo if it’s a girl or Arlo if it’s a boy. It reminds me of what an angel she will be,”

“Wait until she gets older,” Connor joked to lighten the mood, receiving a glimmer from Y/N. “What d’ya say you get changed and I’ll print out this ultrasound, sounds good? A few more months then we can meet baby Halo,”

Halo.

___

Harry’s relationship with Camille was a dream. It was everything he imagined, maybe even better. The first time they dabbled on getting together was four years ago, before Y/N was even around in his life. There could be so many things right about a relationship and it could still be wrong. Maybe it wasn’t the right place, the right time, or they simply had too many disagreements and flaws that both parties were unwilling to work it to make them--work.

Usually, the third time would be a charm but Harry felt that he and Camille didn’t need a third time. As he said, the past couple of months felt like a dream. He could close his eyes and still feel the soft skin of the woman he loves grazing his fingertips. He couldn’t help but transpire into a new chapter of their love; one where it wasn’t just them tumbling in the sheets. When the squeals in the kitchen while making breakfast were paired with pleads for whipped cream on their pancakes; a child.

Harry was old enough to know what he wanted--at least, he thought he was--and a family was in his books. He finally found a partner who had the same mindset in their future; Camille. At first, he was absolutely sure that Y/N could not be erased from; but her name wasn't set in stone and once he found someone better--no way in hell was he going to let that be a missed opportunity.

Camile sighed softly, laying on Harry's bare chest as he pulled the sheets over their clammy bodies. Their orgasms settled in their veins, the rush and panting breaths calming down with each blink of an eye.

With her finger swirling patterns on his skin, Harry stared at the ceiling in hesitant contemplation, “Babe, have you ever thought of getting off the pill?” She paused.

“Uh, sure, but then we would have to use a condom?” Her voice raised at the end in curiosity.

Harry released an awkward chuckle, gently swivelling her body off of him so he could sit up. Reaching over, his fingers found the flip of the light switch that turned the bedside lamp on. He smiled at her appearance, mirroring his stance as she sat on the bed, a sheet clung around her body.

He shook his head, “No, no. No condoms, no pills and, y’know. . .”

The confusion was evident on Camille’s features, “I don’t exactly understand what you’re trying to say, H--,’

“‘M asking if y’wanna try for a baby, love.’

Silence overtook the room. Harry held his breath in his throat, seemingly trying to swallow down the lump that had formed because of her lack of response. She cleared her throat.

“A baby?” Harry nodded with excitement despite the flat tone whipping past her lips. “I--don’t know how to say this, Harry. I’ve never wanted kids.”

His face fell, the words lingering around his head like a flock of birds. The dizzying epiphany rattled his head clear of any other thoughts besides the fact that there was a hole in his book; burnt and toasted with sparks inkling his skin.

“W-why not?” His palms fell flat on the silky sheets, fisting the fabric to keep him settled. “A mini you and a mini-me running around the house. Won’t that be fun, baby? Don’t you want that?”

It almost hurt Camille to see the grin plastered on his face, hopeful eyes practically begging her to change her mind. But she couldn’t.

“Harry, that part will be fun. What won’t be fun is getting huge, morning sickness, weird cravings, hormonal imbalance, the aftermath of labour, the sleepless nights, the puke, the changing diapers, the back pain, the headaches, the fights when they’re older and so much more” Her accent rippled with each explanation rejecting the idea.

Harry huffed, crossing his arms subconsciously to shield himself, “But it’ll be worth it,”

“It won’t be,” Camille scooted closer to him, situating herself on her knees so that she could look into his eyes clearly. “Look, I made up my mind ages ago and I thought you felt the same since you haven’t settled down yet”

“I was jus’ lookin’ for the right person,” His head dipped down, dropping his gaze their intertwined hands. “It’s gonna’ be okay, Cam. We can make it work. We’ll have our own family. We’ll be okay,”

She shook her head in refusal, “It will be okay for you, H.” Harry could feel her hands itching to slip past his. He held her tighter. He didn’t want to lose her. “You can get back to work immediately. I’m a model and it takes time to lose weight. Even when I do--I won’t look the same. It’ll take me months, if not years to even resemble my present body.

“I don’t care how your body looks. You’re still gonna’ look amazing. You think I won’t love you after birthing our little baby?” With brows pressed together, he pouted his lip in curiosity as she rolled her eyes.

Camille sighed exasperatedly, “I don’t want children, Harry. The sooner you understand that the better. It’s MY body. I’ll be carrying the kid around for 9 months. No thank you.” She stood up, stumbling slightly as the sheets tangled around her feet.

He followed suit. His height towered over her as she crouched down to collect the pieces of clothing strewn around haphazardly in a rush to have each other. “But it’ll be MY baby, Cam. OUR baby, don’t you want that?”

Fingernails dug into the skin of her palm, holding her clothes as she spoke, “I don’t, Harry. Why can’t you just accept that?”

In the heat of the moment, Harry couldn’t help but quell the ache in his chest with a memory he thought he had thrown away, “Because Y/N and I planned to have a family. A-and I thought you and I could have one too,”

Camille huffed, keeping her distance. She walked to the bathroom, “Well, maybe you shouldn’t have fucking cheated on her then,”

___

His fight with Camille left the both of them on edge, barely able to handle the thick tension surrounding the house. Even though she took refuge in the bedroom and Harry wandered to the kitchen to cool off; it was impossible for them to stay in one place without having another argument.

Harry didn’t mean to let the memory slip past his lip. He hated it when he found himself comparing his past relationships to his current one. He felt that there was no need to do so, especially when the point of all of it was to start anew. Harry guessed that his desire to have a family was too powerful to keep his thoughts in check. The ache bubbling in his chest rose to a boil with each rejection that Camille answered with.

It wasn’t like he didn’t respect her decision. He really did. But Harry didn’t know if he was going to be happy being with her without progressing into something more through the years. What he was asking from her is just as difficult as what she was asking from him. Camille didn’t want to have children and Harry didn’t want to not have kids. There was no room for compromise if they both, mutually, wanted to respect each other's' decisions’ to the absolute fullest. However, the chances of him living a content life were zero to none.

And that was how Harry ended up at a bar, alone, at nine o’clock in the evening. They were invited by his friend, Kora, to a birthday celebration. Harry was reaching the limit of his threshold having to fake a smile and a chuckle while saying, “Camille’s feelin’ a bit sick tonight. ‘S just me,”

The thing with this celebration was that Kora was initially Y/N’s friend. He and Kora had become close friends while he was with Y/N and he guessed that that was the reason why he was invited. Although, it made him wonder why one of Y/N’s best friends invited him when she was aware of what happened between them. Surely, there was no way that Kora would invite Y/N, Harry, and Camille to the same crowded space, would she?

The sudden nervousness swirling at the pit of his stomach came with a quick neck as Harry scanned each premise of the bar. It was difficult considering the dim lighting and endless amounts of heads moving against each other. He hoped to see Y/N; just to see how she was doing! But he also felt like puking the alcohol he consumed because--as much as he wanted to admit it or not--he missed her.

After a half-hour of being vigilant, Harry willed himself to relax by the counter. Leaning one elbow on the wood as he spoke to another person regarding his upcoming album.

‘Yeah, yeah. It’s goin’. ‘M really excited for it cause’ I’ve got a lot of inspiration for some reason,” Harry answered with unyielding precision.

“We both know where that came fro--Oh hi! Sorry, H. Gotta check in on, Johnny,”

He rolled his eyes under closed lids, sipping on his drink, eyeing Kora when he heard a quip of Y/N’s name. Harry inconspicuously moved closer to her, making sure that he didn’t catch her attention.

“You’re not here,” Kora yelled with a whine to her tone. Her drunk self was still coherent enough to embark on the bartender to make another drink for her. However, Harry guessed that her senses were obscured with the way she yelled through the phone despite it being held to her ear and the function tapped to ‘speaker’.

“I know. I’m sorry. I promise to make it up to you, Kora,” Y/N’s gentle chuckle rumbled through the speaker, making Harry smile. It was the first time he heard it in a while. He sometimes wondered if he had the right to feel relieved when Harry was the one that blocked her number in the first place.

“It’s my birthday! Why aren’t you here drinking with us?” Kora quietly thanked the bartender.

Harry’s curiosity spiked; why wasn’t Y/N here tonight?

“It’s because I’m pregnant, silly. Can’t really do that when I’ve got a bubba in my tummy,” Both women giggled, Kora, making a sound of acknowledgement, “Ohhh right!”

He really wished that he would have stuck by long enough to hear more of their conversation but Kora’s boyfriend was approaching her and he wasn’t in the mood to discuss anything if he was honest.

She moved on fast, Harry thought. He was definitely sounding like an entitled jerk. Hear him out though; Harry was happy with Camille. Yes, he had been cheating on Y/N for a whole year and yes, she had to find out through a letter but Y/N was pregnant.

Did she really move on that quickly?

___

Despite the guilt gnawing at her for missing her best friend Kora’s birthday, Y/N was also looking forward to getting some sleep. It was a couple of hours after their phone call together when the nauseating tightening of Y/N’s chest woke again and had been for the past three days.

It was a horrible feeling that spread from the confines of her stomach. The bile rising up from her throat that left a burning feeling from the acids that escaped her mouth as she quickly threw the covers away from her legs, running towards the direction of her bathroom where she emptied the remnants of her stomach from last night’s craving of pickles and hot Cheetos. Her chest heaved with exertion as she draped her arms over the white porcelain of the disinfected toilet, hunching over as her stomach seemingly pumped away toxins.

Y/N wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, visibly shuddering as she pointed a finger to flush the toilet. She had a feeling that she won’t be getting any more sleep despite the time being three o’clock in the morning. Halo was insistent on staying up past normal bedtime hours. Y/N sighed, walking lethargically towards the dresser to retrieve her phone before heading to the living room nearby.

Y/N: You up, doc?

The blue loading bar swooped to the right as Y/N sent a message to Connor. She was at the peak of her pregnancy and her due date was occurring within a few weeks. A lot had changed since the day she found out the gender of her baby. Between the emotional trauma of having been broken up with--the hard-hitting fact was that Y/N was pushed into a direction of pregnancy that wasn’t exactly her ideal path. She pretty much preferred the dream-like sequence of having Harry accompanying her to her ultrasounds.

Just as Y/N was about to delve into another imaginary scenario of Harry sending her cute baby onesies that he would absolutely need to purchase for their little one, the humming of her phone pulled her from drowning in pathetic wishes and desires.

Connor: What’s up, Y/N?

She jutted her lips as she typed out a response. Contemplating whether or not to send the message as Y/N’s thumb hovered over the arrow, she paused to wonder why she was feeling so guilty in texting another man months and antecedent her break up with Harry. He was happy with someone else, yet Y/N felt as if her feet were planted in a puddle of sticky glue; unable to move on from the life she built in her head. Although it hurt to admit that Harry only existed in her memories now, reminiscing the spoken words they have discussed was another stab to her already bruised heart.

Y/N: Halo’s keeping me up again..

Connor: Want me to come over?

To keep you company

The reply was instantaneous and she could not deny the flutter of her heart beating subtly despite the extremities it had endured. And Y/N couldn’t help but notice the jitter of her baby bump morphing a plump bulge where Halo had kicked it as if it was a stamp of approval of the man coming over.

It wasn’t the first time that Connor drove to her place at the brink of dawn to keep her company in case the sickness became too much for Y/N to handle. The first time was simply a desperate action because she was rattled by the sudden spike in dizziness and incoherence of her sickness that Y/N wasn’t confident in herself to handle it alone. Times after that were more for his comfort when Connor said that he would ‘rather be safe than sorry’ while he rubbed his palm up and down her back.

Minutes later, a knock on her door sounded, forcing Y/N to haul her plump body to the comfort of the sofa, pausing the rerun of a television show. She waddled towards the entrance, the fit of her pyjama waistband snuggly wrapping around her mid-belly. A stretch of skin exposed between her bottoms and her tank top.

“Hi, thank you for coming,” Y/N greeted shyly, widening the door to let Connor in as he chuckled, toeing off his shoes by the closet door.

He waved her off, “It’s no problem, really,” Connor assisted her back to her couch, aiding her by letting his hands stabilize in the air in case anything happened.

The moment their bottoms hit the cushions did Y/N realize the gravity of the guilt spiralling in her chest. Connor laughed softly, his back resting on the couch with his right arm resting on the top, fingertips barely brushing over her shoulder. He reached over the coffee table to obtain the bowl of freshly popped popcorn, picking one to munch on but not before looking over at Y/N.

“Want some?”

She snapped out of her daze, cheeks heating profusely at being caught blatantly staring at how Connor fit naturally into her home both physically and metaphorically. He couldn’t have appeared at a better time when Y/N not only needed medical assistance and a support group by her side. However, she asked herself if he could be anything more than a friend. She shook her head ‘no’.

“No thanks. I’m quite full,” Y/N pressed a palm to her belly when a kick halted her breath. ‘Okay maybe a little,” She rolled her eyes, scolding Halo. “She’s a hungry one,”

“I’m gonna pop some more popcorn, kay? Be right back,”

Y/N heaved a sigh, watching Connor’s retrieving figure. Her admiration was cut off by the ringing of her phone.

___

Harry wasn’t so sober when he opened the door to his car. He wasn’t in his right mind either when he unblocked Y/N’s number and tapped on her name, switching the screen as it rang. He threw his head back against the headrest, biting his lip when the dial tone rang and rang.

“Hello?”

Harry’s breath hitched, losing his voice momentarily before his slowed brain caught up to move his tongue.

“Y/N? It’s Harry,” He spoke quietly, “Don’t hang up. Hear me out,” His ears stretched to pick up the click of a dropped call but he didn’t hear any.

“Heard from Kora that y’were pregnant, yeah? And I was wondering, whose is it?” The venom in his voice dripped. His drunken stupor rendered him unable to grasp reality.

“I’m not answering that,” Y/N’s tone was firm and direct. Harry could imagine her pursing her lips inwards.

“Why not? Scared that y’gonna have to admit that everything you put on was an act? How can y’move on so fast and give me shit about it?” The parking lot was filled with cars yet Harry could see that he was the only one currently occupying one. If there was a better metaphor of feeling alone in a crowded place; then he would love to hear it.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Harry? You cheated on me! You slept with another woman while we were together. You loved another woman while we were together. For an entire year, you lied to me and deceived me,”

“Jus’. . .answer the question,” He pinched his nose bridge, a headache pounding from the bottom of his skull.

“How dare you speak to me this way? You have no right calling me up out of nowhere,” Y/N lowered the volume of her voice, “and asking all these ridiculous questions,”

“S’not ridiculous,”

She gave a smile to Connor who entered the room with a bowl of delicious smelling popcorn. Y/N clutched the phone to her chest. Connor situated his body beside her with a glimmering smile, his mouth twitching as he eyed her bump, “Can I talk to her?” A gentle question breezed past his lips, moving closer when Y/N gave him approval.

The man kneeled down on the floor, leaning his head downwards to speak to Halo, “Hey little one, y’gotta be nice to momma, okay?” His fingers waved when her feet kicked out. Connor looked up to Y/N with a proud smile, “Did you see that? She responded!”

___

Harry felt his heart clench as a new voice filled the speakers. His neurons were fried with each thought firing endlessly, “Who’s that?

“Don’t call me again,”

The dial tone rung in his ears, echoing in the quiet space of his Range Rover.

___

Pressing the power button for a few seconds, the device turned black and was left on the arm of the couch. The excitement in Connor’s voice brought a dreamy smile to Y/N’s face, chewing on some popcorn. The beating of her heart seemed to double at the sight of him being so thrilled with her baby.

“We can’t wait to see you. I bet you’re gorgeous,” Connor dropped his volume to a whisper to prevent Y/N from hearing, ‘’Like your mom,”

Y/N’s relaxed and comfortable state of mind mindlessly worked her hands to thread the hair on top of Connor’s head. Just like she used to do to Harry. Her expression dimmed at the thought, painting a faint simper when Connor looked at her in surprise before shrugging it off, continuing to talk to her bump. She shivered when a warm pair of lips attached to the skin of her stomach. Gentle pressure planting a kiss as Connor said his goodbyes to baby Halo.

“She’s a smart one, that much I can tell,” He confirmed, moulding his body to the lingering shape he had left behind in his previous position. And Y/N was flustered to say that she might have scooched a little closer to his body, snuggling her head at the junction of his shoulder.

“Can I?” She asked, doe eyes raising a question that would allow them to cross the boundary they had limited themselves to. He nodded reflexively as if he was awaiting this moment. Connor took the initiative to pull Y/N closer to him, subconsciously kissing the top of her head. The scent of the woman’s shampoo wafting through his nose and invading his senses in a sweet smell that he would gladly immerse himself to.

It was the most pleasant feeling for Y/N to completely let go of her former worries about starting anew when Connor was as cozy as a heater. He made Y/N feel safe and secure with his body shielding her and his actions hinting at a subdued attraction he hadn’t fully shown to her.

And Connor was proud of himself for not quite literally freaking out when Y/N smothered her face to his chest as time passed and the sun rays filtered through the blinds as she fell asleep. Her words mumbled in a jumbled mess about how she wished that morning sickness wasn’t called morning sickness.

It wasn’t totally accurate, she complained. She thought that it was a misleading name; catfishing perhaps. He had chuckled in response, tracing his fingers up and down her arm and feeling goosebumps rise on her skin.

The orange hue of the bright star painting the sky lighter and lighter until the pitch-black sight morphed into a mixture of shades that could only be described as beautifully grandiose--just like Y/N’s sleeping face when the sun casts a shadow to highlight her nose, scrunching with the slight graze of the back of Connor’s finger rubbing the tip. Or the way the luminescence caressed the apples of her cheeks where her lashes rested, mouth puffing breaths of air as she allowed herself to be vulnerable for the first time in months.

___

A heavy feeling had settled into Harry's chest after Y/N hung up the phone. The new voice he had heard had unmistakably been a man's. Who was he? Was Y/N having that man's baby?

Before he could help it, Harry was seething. He saw red, and if he were in a children's movie there would be steam coming out of his ears right about now. How dare she move on so fast? How could she have a baby with another man so soon? But when he thought about it; Harry couldn't even recall how long it had been since they'd broken up. It made him feel somewhat guilty. He hadn't meant to forget her. It had just happened.

His guilt soon manifested into frustration-- her being pregnant was a constant reminder that she had moved on with another man. Insecurity clawed at his insides- did he really mean that little to her? 'You cheated on her', his conscience pricked, but he brushed away the thought. He hated being reminded of his infidelity to his fiancée.

His defence mechanism kicked in like clockwork, using aggression to shield his insecurities. He opened his messages app and clicked her contact, typing drunkenly.

Harry: 'Your a whore'

'You're*'

'Diid yu cheat on me? I bet youu did'

'Do u sleepp arond a loot?'

'fck u'

He smiled smugly at his phone screen, satisfied with what he had sent her. He shut his phone off, and started his car, ready to drive back home. He knew he was being irresponsible, but between his current girlfriend not wanting a child and his ex being pregnant with one; he couldn't bring himself to care. He drove himself home, only to find a terribly worried Camille waiting for him to arrive.

He glanced at the huge clock on the wall behind her. 1:32 am. He shrugged his shoulders and brushed past her to their bedroom. In his drunken gait, he knocked over a metal tray. The loud 'clang' made him hiss and clutch his temples, a headache pounding in his skull.

Camille sighed and made her way over to him, wrapping her arms around his torso and muttering a "come here, H" Despite his sour mood, he found himself craving affection. What he wouldn't admit was that he didn't crave Camille's affection in particular. He just wanted to be held and feel safe in someone's arms. Anyone's arms. But despite himself, he mumbled, "m'sorry I left like tha'. Should'nt 've spoken to ya that way,"

She nodded, pressing a kiss to his cheek, "It's okay, Harry, you're back home now. C'mon, let's get you changed and then let's sleep."

He bobbed his head up and down, willingly letting her drag him up the stairs to their shared bedroom, "Love ya,” Camille helped him out of his trousers.

She smiled softly, "Love you too, mon Cheri,” He giggled drunkenly at the showcase of her accent.

___

Harry woke up with a pounding headache, whining as his alarm rang at eight am in the morning. He opened his eyes to see that Camille wasn't in bed with him. His lips fell into a pout because of waking up alone.

There was a note on the bedside table.

'got called in for an emergency meeting for the show next week. be home by 5pm. love you!'

He sighed and reached for the glass of water she had left him. His brows furrowed when he didn't see Ibuprofen next to the water. Y/N left him ibuprofen beside the glass of water. Always. Harry snapped himself out of his daze, reprimanding himself for even thinking about her. Why is he thinking about her?

After a hot shower, Harry made his way downstairs to make himself breakfast. 'Eggs and toast', he thought. Placing 2 eggs in water and setting it on the stove before loading the toaster. He looked mindlessly through the drinks in the fridge, settling on 'Organic Orange Juice'. Y/N had introduced him to this particular brand after he had complained that all the others had too much sugar to be 'healthy'.

___

"This has no added sugar, H," she mentioned, "They sweeten it with honey."

___

Harry groaned, snapping himself out of the daydream, ashamed for thinking about his ex. Again.

He placed his breakfast on a plate and poured himself a glass of juice, sitting at the dining table alone. He chewed slowly with a mouthful as he unlocked his phone, beginning to go through his notifications.

Camille sent him a text. It was a selfie of her at her meeting, smiling and holding up a peace sign. He mirrored the expression, sending a text back

Harry: "stop being so cute"

He clicked the ‘back’ icon.

The second he does, his heart positively skips a beat. Not in a good way, either. Y/N's contact was just below Camille's, suddenly remembering the nasty things he had texted her the previous night.

"Fuck," He whispered under his breath, opening her contact. 'Read' was plastered under the messages he had sent. Y/N had seen them.

Connor had left a few hours later because he had morning rounds at the clinic the next day. Y/N had bid him goodbye with a shy kiss to the corner of his mouth,

“Thanks for coming, C,"

He smiled and pulled her into an embrace "Anytime, angel," into her hair. A warmth spread through her chest--one that she hadn’t felt in a long while.

After Connor drove off (with a final wave from his car window, of course), Y/N walked back in to settle on her couch again. Halo kicked a few times as she sat down, making Y/N squirm and giggle.

"Hi, you little goose! What's got you all excited, hm?" She rubbed over the area where Y/N felt the kick. As if, in response to her mother's voice, baby Halo kicked out again, right where Y/N's palm was. "Are you trying to high-five me, precious girl?"

Y/N cooed at her swelling tummy, a huge smile plastered across her face. "Or are ya just excited about Connor coming over to spend time with us? Got a good feeling about him, have you?"

She feels a gentle kick, it was almost as if the baby in her tummy wanted to say 'yes'. Y/N hummed softly, caressing her tummy, "Me too, angel. I've got a good feeling about him, too."

A few minutes later, Y/N reboots her phone her previously switched off phone so that she could see if Connor had texted her. He had.

C: Thanks for letting me spend time with you and Halo tonight. I loved it. I have a bit of time off on Sunday, do you want to get Pizza?'

Her eyes gleamed, but she hesitated for just a second. Connor had texted her. But so had Harry. He had sent her five messages, and Y/N wasn't sure if she wanted to see what he had to say.

She wanted to make sure before texting Connor back. Y/N was not sure what she was expecting or hoping for, but what she saw was certainly not it.

Harry: 'Your a whore'

'You're*',

'Diid yu cheat on me? I bet you did

'Do u sleepp arond a loot?'

'fck you'

She felt tears stinging her eyes, cursing at the pregnancy hormones that have gotten her feeling this emotional about drunk texts from her ex. Her body ignited with fury quicker than she realized she could. Y/N doesn't hesitate to click the 'block' button to his contact.

She didn't need a man like him around her or her baby. Or her potential boyfriend.

Y/N: 'Hiya!,'

'it was great having you over, and I'd love to hang out! Down for pizza anytime. Halo loves it too :P'

The reply was instantaneous

C: 'Great!'

'See you Sunday, then! What are your favourite toppings?"

Y/N smiled brightly, finding his curiosity incredibly endearing. She typed back a response, gleaming with joy at the fact that she finally had someone she could rely on.

___

"Fuck. fuck fuck fuck," Harry repeated, clicking the call button to Y/N's contact. He needed to apologize. Desperately. He needed her to know that he didn't mean any of those things; he was just drunk. Not that that was an excuse.

'The number you are trying to reach is not in service', an automated voice said.

Harry groaned in frustration, opening her message contact, typing out;

Harry: "I'm so sorry, I don't know what had gotten into me. I was drunk. I'm very sorry, Y/N xx H."

He took a bite out of his toast before looking back at his screen to see if she had read the message yet. He almost wished he hadn't. Harry’s heart plummeted. His chest constricted as tears stung at the back of his eyes. Throwing up the meal he just scarfed sounded like an option right now.

A flaming red exclamation mark met his startled glance, and his chest heaved as he read,

'Not delivered,'

___

As usual, let us know what you thought!

Reign aka pt3 is already up on Patreon (link in bio!)

Reign will be uploaded on Tumblr on Monday, August 31. ___

Series Taglist: @harrysthicccthighs @olsenholic @ghoulsonline @shexgal @neonaquariumgravel @prettylovley @ursogoldenshan @riley-moon @malstumblr1 @sunflowervol6iselite @luviewoo @pessimistic-her @babyprunstatesmanjudge @sapphire-m-rose @apples2019 @havingoodtime @parkersroses @bbymichelleee @addagin @technically-holland @bri-lovett @sunguines @trustfulhaz @novembersangels @explicitroses @toolazymyguy @luvelyhs @leftdragonfarmland @gbserion @wxn-drlst @breathingsoft1y @istudyoccasionally

Permanent Taglist: @splendidsunsetx @swagmoneymaya @loviewoo @textingharry @arypesanchez @theresthingsthatwellneverknow

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