#But GOD comics take so much work!
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Husk flustering the hell outta Angel Dust, Page 1
Nifftyâs just there to watch
#luclipse85art#hazbin hotel#huskerdust#angel dust#husker#Niffty#hazbin hotel comic#sketches#Good Lord Iâm gonna have so much fun with this one#But GOD comics take so much work!
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genuinely can't get over the way the end of under the red hood parallels death in the family, with the only difference being that the parts they play in their own destruction are so much more explicit.
ditf has jason being deeply wounded and then dying in an explosion that consequently signs the unfulfilled death warrants of bruce and the joker.
this exact thing happens in utrh, but this time bruce is the one that wounds jason, and it's jason that plants the bomb that literally kills him, bruce and the joker.
it's all just about two people who are so very different from who they used to be, who cannot move past who they used to be. it's about two partners who have learned new tricks but cannot rid themselves of their reflexes. it's about a father and a son who try to reach for the other only to find their hands forming fists. they know each other too well. they do not know each other at all.
#by 'unfulfilled death warrants' i mean how bruce then tried to kill joker which - if he had succeeded - would have killed him too.#of course fate (read: comic book rules) did not allow this to happen however.#i have so so much more to say about this but ive tried to make this post several times and it just hasn't been working. this is good enough#i will likely expand on this soon though. i have a lot of thoughts about it.#mostly concerning the way that ditf has jason being deliberately wounded for his attempts to save a life#and utrh has jason being unintentionally wounded for his attempts to take a life.#my god i need to expand more on the 'unintentionally' too because without context it doesn't make sense.#the most important thing you need to know is that the batarang incident was not attempted murder and i am very passionate about this.#i need to sleep now.#batman#bruce wayne#red hood#jason todd
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silly vampire costumes and their added benefitsâąïž (directly based on this)
#and just when you thought I wouldn't take an opportunity to draw fall alt Morty simply because it's not October - you f o o l s !!! /lh#this was actually quite an old doodle that I managed to finally get to as a treat for myself since work has been quite overwhelming skdjfns#I just wanted an excuse to draw Morty all flustered and shy really eeeeeeeeee (those lip stains are Eusine's ofc) đđđđđđ#I'll make a proper post for it later but I'll skip the comic update this weekend so that I could unwind and attend this con I've been eyein#(it's a local Pokemon Con where I plan to just - splurge my savings on merch really SKDJFSKJDFNSD bc I deserve it methinks)#(I have the update planned as well- I just don't wanna stress myself by rushing it --- I wanna make it the best I could hehe âš)#I'll also !!! share that I've recently started the Magnus Archives and have been on . a MANIC binge on it since last week#(I'm clinically diagnosed as bipolar this is okay for me to saySKJDFNSJKFDSND)#but oh my god I've just been--so addicted to it - I've just recently started S4 and I'm Severely Depressed by it but god I am---#--loving each and every moment of it so much I am So Indescribably Insane about it#part of me wishes I started investing in podcasts sooner really - it fits my nature of work quite perfectly#I'm nearing the end (it ends at S5 - 200 episodes) so I'll finally be able to participate in fanworks after that wish me luck y'allSKJDFNSD#sacredshipping#morty/eusine#morty x eusine#gym leader morty#morty pokemon#mystery man eusine#eusine pokemon#fall morty#pokemon#pokemon masters#pokemon masters ex#pmex#pokemas
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HONESTLY. i agree with prev anon minedai community rlly feels like itâs own separate thing a lot of the time i get so shocked when people who arenât mainly minedai posters acknowledge it LMFAO itâs pretty rare. weâre kind of in our own stuck in yakuza 3 bubble if that makes sense while everyoneâs moving on with the newer games
real tbh. i get jumpscared when people mention it outta no where like how did you know this existed..... can i help you... its like when you lift up a rock and theres a bunch of bugs underneath
#snap chats#like recently that one artist featured daigo and mine in a comic of theirs and i had to blink twice#like oh my god thats right they dont just exist in mine and five other people's heads thats fucked up#WELCOMED but woah ..#its just funnier to follow the games through daigo tbh. thats my fave things about these games#just wondering wtf daigos up to since he's- ironically- the Straightest man in that he's so . Guy.#like he's Just A Guy amongst these people and i love him so much and i like how he looks concerned 90% of the time#yes he's the chairman of the tojo but it's also really easy to imagine him working at like. a printer company. or a library#whenever chairman daigo takes his shirt off i get jumpscared cause its like Oh Right He Does Fight Sometimes#i love his fight style cause its so fucking. he really just swinging who give a fuck his strength is shooting people not this#he can still kick ass Allegedly tho i wont discredit wtf the game told me but still its funny how rough his style is. i love him#the fuck am i waffling on about. idk we're talking about the stanley prison experiment for the ninety millionth time in my academic career
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are there any plans for an RSS for the comic? I'm bad at checking for updates
Sadly I am an idiot and dont know how, and regular updates dont occur due to time restrictions so scheduling them or knowing when to post something like that would become very long winded and complicated.
I wish i had a regular time, or like, enough money to give more time to it, but i dont sadly so setting up anything more regimented is a real pain this end.
Sorryyyyyy :')
#im so dumb id not know where to start#and time#my god if i had time to just do the comic id have done so much more#but money is tight#i take comms to pay bills but they take up too much time#so i get no free hours to relax draw#so when i finally stop working on comms i draw burnout doodles#and dont get to give time to comic pages because theyre more complex and theres a system i have to keep to#brain just cant do it ontop of all the comm work#honestly i gotta sort this out better#but i am sorry i cant give a more concise schedule#ooc
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thinking about daredevil yellow again im not. going to make it Guys.
#static.soundz#crying screaming and hitting the ground. so good. it made me cry really bad#bc whenever i think about jack n matt it always makes me think of me n my dad for various reasons#when matt said i couldnt feel his heartbeat inside me anymore. no words.#i rambled about it on my main but dd is very much intwined in an interesting and special way with my own heavy grief about my dad#and matt was a very important character to me during that time of my life for the exact same reason.#it's why i take a lot of very heavy issue when things try to make it so his dad died in his childhood as opposed to college#bc a) think it takes away a lot of the important nature of their relationship and b) my own personal projection#bc all grief at any stage is highly personal and unique and particular#but it really does feel like. matt is really just starting to become an adult (depending whether he dies when matt's in under or post grad)#(bc i can never remember which) but he's not quite a mega established one. there's still that lingering of childhood#so even though he's grown. it just hurts in a very particular way. they saw you grow up. but they didnt really see you become an adult.#they did not see the person you're going to be. that you are. that you're becoming. it feels like such a bizarre unfair moment in time.#bc why now? why not when i was younger? why not when i was truly an adult adult who is expecting to lose you now?#why at this moment and no other time?#but thinking about matt going i wish i told my dad how much i loved him.#more than anything when he goes 'i love you dad. did you hear? i love you.'#it made me cry like a fucking bitch. honest to god tearing up when i type about it. it wrenches my heart it twists it and it makes me wanna#drop to my knees and just weep and weep and weep. they are everything to me.#i have intertwined a lot of matt's grief with mine in a way that makes him so so so important to me. because as stupid as it fucking sounds#that comic and him as a character are everything to me. so genuinely. they were a lifeline my freshman year#when i was so depressed all i could do was read comics. or listen to music#i could do nothing else. i did. clearly. i did work and assignments. but dd was everything to me alongside dm#im sorry i am being an actual like nutbag in my tags im sorry i just have a lot of feelings. this story is everything to me ever ok? ok.
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when it comes to workers n creatives rights, specifically those in the industry I always feel so like conflicted abt shit like. pay ur workers or die, but why didnât they cancel the flashâŠ
ezra millers various crimes aside, they were workin on that shit since I was in high school and apparently it was booty ass?? worse than booty ass?? and the whole movie got leaked too.. Like when u have a situation like that what do you do
#Iâm also pissed abt spider-verse because while yes itâs cool#while it was good that they took feedback from pavs actor how they fuck do u get to animating without consulting someone#and have to animate his entire part all over again because they couldnât afford to idk ask?? hire a sensitivity reader??#I love atsv and im admittedly bummed thatâs itâs gonna take so long to wrap up but like#100 animators quit!! What the Fuck#i this kris anka worked on Miguelâs design for either a month or a year but I canât remember what#the two separate models for hobie#and thank god atsv is doing so well but what if it didnât#the spent so much time on the flash alledgedly and my brain is like#why didnât they just cancel it but I know why they couldnât#but what about Leslie graces batgirl??#so many shows are getting canceled a week after they wrap and just getting deleted#or god with webcomics that become Webtoon originals? They can just cancel ur comic and keep it??#also what the Fuck is going to be done about ezra miller
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fic rec
title: And You May Find Yourself author: roguewrld pairing: steve/bucky words: 16442 summary: "Thereâs two possibilities here. One, Iâm right and none of this is real, which makes this morning some pretty elaborate masturbation. Or two, youâre right, all of this is real and you and your Steve Rogers share a life in that apartment. In that case, Iâm sure Iâm generous enough to share with myself." Steve wakes up in the year 2025, with Bucky beside him in bed and a life that's just a little too good to be true. ao3
#and you may find yourself#fic rec#i would love a longer version of this tbh it's such a unique concept#like i would prefer a more explicitly happy ending but i'm taking it as such#but yeah like people do the alternate reality thing and everything but i just think it's a cool take#and even with all the cameos it actually doesn't feel overdone#maybe in part bc it uses some comics relationships so it's like oh sure this person would know this person#whereas in the mcu and in some fics i'm like oh my god you don't need to include EVERYONE ever it's too much#like it worked here and i loved bucky being friends with rocket and wade
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one of my fave funniest genres of the âtrans ppl cant have/do/be xyz, bcuz i just dont understand how bodies workâ transphobia is ppl saying trans men cant have muscles
#so much transphobia is just. its almost comical. like gender essentialism brainrot realness#BUT PPL RLY WORK OFF BULLSHIT LIKE THIS. THEY TAKE THIS SHIT LIKE THE WORD OF GOD#SCIENCE BE DAMNED!#and then they say we should all die so its not funny anymore
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@magpie-senpai replied to a post:
I really need this to be part of that comic with him and Kakashi talking about Kakashiâs surgery scars!!!
:) ! you're in luck! its of the very same :)
#yamswers#magpie senpai#this comic is so emotional to me that i keep trying to find excuses not to post it ahghdhghsdghsgh but thats just cowardice#its not a bad comic and its honestly significantly less self indulgent than some of my other works#so im posting it im just taking my time. and THANK GOD im posting it bc i didnt realize i forgot kakashis scar until it was pointed out đ#when it was pointed out i went back and added flowers too hehehehe#anyway#i feel like i havent been on this blog very much whoops#im back in the ds9 hole#this happens occasionally. it happens. julian subatoi bashir has an iron grip on my heart and every once and a while that grip tightens
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So. Finished going over the first draft, taking notes, getting ideas together.
This is going to be a god damn adventure, this second draft.
#ive got a lot of work to do#i knew this was going to be extensive but i didnt realize HOW extensive#im not even planning every single tiny thing down!#im just getting the main plot points and events!#and theres SO MUCH MORE to get together than seeker ever had#christ#i have no idea how long this will take but i hope to god its within a month or two months#i can edit along the way as im drawing and scripting the comic#i just need that architecture set in place
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"It certainly wouldn't be right to have this kind man's efforts go uncompensated, now would it, Jumpluff?" "Pluff-pluff!"
these troublemakers The dynamic Suicune-chasing duo returns in the next Destiny Bond update - currently in progress! đâš
â> Check out the latest part here đ· â> New to the series? Follow from the start! đ
#Destiny Bond comicverse#/me suddenly bursting in from the abyss and after a whole while of silence over the holiday break#WE'RE SO BACK (I say for the umpteenth time sdkjfsndfs)#for realsss though I'm gonna be a lot more lax with updates and maaaybe slot them for a bi-weekly schedule for the rest of this year#--since that's what works best in tandem with my freelancing job/college work/mental crises on top of everything /lh đ#but genuinely this is a comfort/passion project above all else so I get to take my time with it and not stress đ#these sillies give me so much joy and on god I will tell their story even if I go at the pace of a Shuckle in that one hzn episode SKFSNDFN#a thank you once again to y'all who've tuned in to this lil project of mine and enjoy these mystic losers as much as I do đ„șđđđđ#pokemon#pokemon fancomic#pokemon comic#fancomic#comic#mystery man eusine#eusine pokemon#jumpluff#pokemon gsc#pokemon hgss
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.
Ignore
#delete later#im so exhausted and stressed. theres such a lack of stability and its freaking me out SO much. im just constantly tense and waiting#for something terrible to happen. im starting to think that im not gonna get to go to the entomology thing ive been hoping#how i can't do things independently and i must have been forced into this abd rhen it'll get cruel towards my friends abd i cant#and my aunt is getting worse abd my parents are waiting for me to fail abd have to move bsck with them which i can't do bc#to go to for months bc ill probably need to use that time off for preparing to move. which sucks. ive been looking forward to it#i was letting myself get my hopes up and that was a mistake bc now im rly disappointed. im hoping i can go but honestly#idk if it'd be financially responsible. same with comic con. its in october so i can probably go but it might not be a financially#good idea. it just. the things i was counting on to be stable sources of joy are not stable anymore and that's making everything worse#and im tryinh to be positive but im so anxious. theres just so much. i need to think about packing and try to figure out#how im going to move 1-2 hours away. how am i going to coordinate with movers whilst having to get the train to meet them#im disabled and cabt help move things so only getting one person ro deliver worries me. movers arent insured to take ppl with them#theres just SO MUCH. And i can't view properties easily bc of work so im missing out on multiple places that ive been contacting#ppl about abd i couldnt line up enough for last week when i was off bc it was too short notice and i just. its TOO MUCH TOO MUCH#im overwhelmed. im trying to think of the food im gonna cook when im there ahd the armchair im gonna buy#im gonna eat so much fucking lamb and fish oh ny god im excited for THAT#i wany to just go for the shittiest place to at least have some stability and bc i still have yhat kernel of thought that i dont#deserve comfort but im trying to fight it bc i do. i deserve somewhere nice and its unfair on myself not to find somewhere nice#especially as ill be living alone. i cant go for places that have no natural light or are four stories up or are a mile away from the train#station bc that will wreck my mental health and i wont have ready access to socialising that can stabilise me. gotta be fair#to myself. but THATS PROVING REAL DIFFICULT#im doing good saving though so thats nice i guess. fuck me moving is expensive. moving when you've got zero kitchen supplies is#even more so. gonna be an Interesting first couple days in the new place.#it will be. very bad. they keep texting me asking about it and i have to be positive bc otherwise itll become a conversation about#field all that shit when im like this. i just cant. that requires so much fucking energy i dont have. and i wont move back#id frankly rather die. and trying to not say that and decline politely sucks. bc they get the look of#oh we're not good enough huh#and i can't field their fucking feelings. i either need a pause button or a fast forward. id take either one#so many of these tags ended up out of order whoops. but these arent meant to be read anyway#i just need to scream bc idk what else to do
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Now for the final round!
@hellsitegenetics
I love them
I didn't know I needed to know that the weed-smoking girlfriends post was genetically a wolf, but I did, and I do. Also puts great stuff on my dash.
itâs so fun to be scrolling unhinged posts and then boom. an organism!
so many moths⌠also, unexpected comedy with some of the matches
perfect blend of silly and informative, and makes for an excellent punchline at the end of a long post. puts creatures on my dash. literally what more could you ask for
It's a really unique blog concept and a lot of times the results are pretty funny. It's great when the sequence matches the post content too!
Creatures đ
Finds beautiful creatures out of the mess of the hellsite
Offers finality AND gives us a creechur.
I love them. English speakers talk like moths
If this blog wins, they could run the text of the winning announcement, and determine the post's genus and species!
They're also very good about tagging the type of creature depicted in the results, so as long as you mute tags of creatures you don't want to see, it's a very fun time seeing iconic legacy posts (and new submissions) being reduced down to a string of letters and assigned a random species of fish or moth or something!
uhh itâs cool
BLAST
There are so many weird bugs in the world
Yippee!!
If, as Haldane said, God has an inordinate fondness for beetles, then surely this blog proves that Tumblr has an inordinate fondness for moths.
Top tier blog as a geneticist, I love seeing obscure organisms and MOTH
Admin got rate limited after trying to blast the bee movie
the knowledge of biology to pull this off (i have taken one biology class in my life) and also the work to find all the strings honestly deserves quite a bit of praise
This gimmick blog has it all: science, pictures of animals, interaction with the text of other peoples' posts, interesting information, and a unique and fun premise. As a biologist, I'm rooting for hellsitegenetics to reach the end and take the tournament, because it is truly a standout among gimmick blogs.
If they win, perhaps this blog too shall become a cool organism :3
@hasgavlebockenburneddownyet
What's more happy holiday cheer than cheering on the destruction of a giant straw goat?
The birds may have won 2023, but I believe in humanity's capability for arson for 2024 <3
a vote for me is a vote for arson! This message was approved by hasgavlebockenburneddownyet
gavle is SUCH a public service and holiday feature
what's more tumblr than comical destruction and holidays?
sometimes you just gotta vote with your matchsticks
Bringing a cultural staple to tumblr since 2021
Arson is so much more fun
It would be really funny and ironic if it survives the tournament
you have no idea how much joy watching the chronicling of the gavlebocken brings me every year
hasgavlebockenburneddownyet provides an essential public service
always love seeing a bit of Swedish history on my dash 'Swedish bamboo season'
the goat account is peak gimmick blog
If I don't get to beat the goat then nobody does. -pointless-achievements
Never ask Tumblr to choose between lies and arson! The winner threatens by nature to rip apart the very fabric of our DNA!
goat statues made out of straw are exciting and interesting
I wanna see things burn
the goat is an essential part of tumblr culture and the goat blog is a sacred keeper of the tumblr high holidays
watching to see if the big straw goat has burned down each year is a true delight, something I never knew existed until tumblr and the blog dedicated to it
the incredibly focused nature of @/hasgavlebockenburneddownyet is what makes their gimmick superior.
Please guys bite gavlebocken
Look, I'm Danish. I was put on this earth to annoy the Swedes and vice versa, but even I voted for @/hasgavlebockenburneddownyet
gavlebocken is also such a fun name and this blog informed be about its existence, so for that I am grateful
hasgavlebockenburneddownyet is providing a vital service! Every year, people rely on their updates regarding the fate of our most beloved Yule Goat! How could they NOT deserve the win!?
sacred anti-corporate arson
a vote for gÀvlebocken is a vote for anarchy!
pls vote for them they're the funniest gimmick keeping track on the funniest phenomena in recent human history, like when i look at their acc i think to myself this is what tumblr was created for
the goat is the GOAT
HASGAVLEBOCKENBURNEDDOWNYET DESERVES TO WIN, I have them on post alert for a REASON
the holiday season wouldn't be the same without them
they do important reporting. Do you look at the news and be like 'the reporters aren't doing work they're just telling you whats happening.' Have some respect for the goat news
let the weird burnt sacrificial ritual of it all appeal to you
nothing makes my December more interesting, arson should win
doesn't barge in on other peoples posts which is always a good thing in my books. not a fan when obnoxious gimmick blogs turn a decent post into a garbled mess
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Trash Novel Chronicles: Please Let Me Live - Vil Schoenheit x reader
You get isekai'd into the worst novel you've had the misfortune of reading because apparently your life is a cosmic joke. Now all you have to do is not act like the character you've possessed and it'll be fine, you think? Your fiancé being Vil Schoenheit makes it a little harder to behave like a human being with functional braincells, but hey, atleast he likes you, you think?
Series Masterlist
You'd avoided it for so long. For months, your best friend had been pestering you to read the shoujo isekai novel of the year. According to them, it was the epitome of romantic drama, the kind that would "turn your heart into a mess of feelings" and "change your life." So, finally, after a particularly grueling week, your willpower hit rock bottom. You caved. You bought it, poured yourself a drink, and figured, "How bad can it be?"
Turns out, really bad.
Youâd barely made it past the first few chapters before your brain began to leak out of your ears. Every overused villainess plot point imaginable was crammed into the story like a contest of "how much nonsense can we fit in here before the reader gives up?" The evil fiancĂ©e everyone inexplicably hated? Check. The perfect cinnamon roll male lead everyone adored even though he had the personality of wet cardboard? Double check. The heroine who was so pure that even her sneeze would be enough to unite warring nations who also happens to be the saintess? You had to put the book down and take a moment when she gave a speech about friendship that was so saccharine, your teeth hurt.
Grumbling and filled with regret, you got up to refill your drink⊠only to slip on bubble wrap you swore yesterday that you were going to pick up later, fall face-first into the kitchen counter, and began to bleed out.
It was a comically stupid way to die. You knew that as you lay there, watching the light fade from your vision, your last thoughts being, This is the dumbest thing thatâs ever happened to me.
And then, darkness.
You woke up with a groan, your head pounding. As your vision cleared, you noticed you were lying in a very, very fancy bed. Silk sheets, gold trimming on the canopy, the works. And you were dressed in something frilly, layered, and far too complicated for someone who just woke up from a near-death experience.
"What theâŠ"
You sat up, rubbing your eyes, only to freeze as the realization hit you. This was not your bed. This was not your apartment. This wasâŠÂ Oh god, no.
You whipped your head around the lavish room, recognizing it from the novel youâd been hate-reading just last night. The massive mirror above the dresser, the tapestry with an overly detailed family crest, the obnoxiously large bouquet of roses that smelled way too sweet.
Youâre in the book.
Panicking, you scrambled out of bed and rushed to the full-length mirror by the wall. The reflection staring back at you was not your own. Instead, you saw an unfamiliar faceâher face. The one mentioned once, maybe twice, in the whole novel before being discarded like an old shoe: the betrothed of the villain.
The fiancée who dumps him for the male lead. The fiancée who gets themselves killed in the process.
âOh, come on!â you groaned, slapping your forehead. âIâm the villainâs betrothed? Iâm that idiot who leaves Vil Schoenheit because I fall for the human incarnation of a sugar cube?â
But there was no escaping it. You were now stuck in the body of a side character so irrelevant that even her death was treated as an afterthought. The one who leaves her handsome, ambitious, gorgeous fiancé for⊠Neige.
No. No, no, no. You were not about to die over a soggy cinnamon roll.
Determined to change your fate, you gathered your wits and opened the door to leave the room. But of course, you ran headlong into a tall figure, knocking you both back.
âOof! Careful there!â a smooth, yet stern voice said. You looked upâand froze. Standing before you, looking like something straight out of a high-fashion magazine, was Vil Schoenheit. The man whose heart you were supposed to break, the villain who would later descend into madness after you ditch him.
And wow. In person, he was even more stunning than the novel had described. His golden-blond hair shimmered in the sunlight pouring through the window, his purple eyes were as sharp as they were beautiful, and his posture screamed confidence.
You blinked up at him, utterly dumbfounded. Youâre supposed to leave him? For Neige? You nearly gagged at the thought.
Vil raised an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed by your wide-eyed staring. âIs something the matter?â
You gulped. Right. You were supposed to be cold and dismissive toward him, werenât you? But how? This man looked like he could make the heavens weep with his beauty. How had your character ever even considered leaving him?
âNo, nothingâs the matter!â you blurted out, a little too enthusiastically. âActually, everythingâs great! You look fantastic! I mean, not that you donât always look fantasticâbecause you doâbut, you know, extra fantastic today!â
Vilâs eyes narrowed. âYouâre acting strange.â
Abort. Abort!
You quickly cleared your throat. âUh, Iâve just been⊠thinking. About us.â
His gaze became sharper. âAbout us?â
You nodded, plastering on your most sincere smile. âYes! Iâve realized⊠I havenât been very, uh, appreciative of you lately. And Iâm sorry for that. Really, I am. So from now on, Iâll be the most appreciative fiancĂ©e ever!â
Vil looked at you as though youâd just told him the sun was cold. He clearly didnât trust this sudden change in attitude. âWhat exactly brought this on?â he asked slowly, suspiciously.
Time for Plan B. âOh, you know, just⊠reflection! Self-improvement! I thought, âWhy would I ever look anywhere else when Iâve got someone like *you* right in front of me?â Youâre⊠amazing, really.â You cringed internally at how corny that sounded, but Vil didnât seem entirely put off.
âHm,â was all he said, but his piercing gaze stayed locked on you, watching for any sign of deceit.
You were sweating bullets, but at least he wasnât storming off. Yet.
You knew from the moment you read the back cover that this novel was going to be a dumpster fire of clichés, but you were not prepared for the sheer chaos of it all.
So, first off, we have the heroineâthe Saintessâwho has somehow never faced a single hardship in her life, despite the fact that sheâs supposed to be the kingdomâs beacon of virtue and a symbol of overcoming hardship. Sheâs engaged to the crown prince, who conveniently disappears on a diplomatic mission and dies offscreen, probably to make room for her new love interest, Neige LeBlanche. Neige. That sparkly ray of sunshine who is so perfect and pure that you feel like you need sunglasses whenever his name is mentioned. Because apparently, whatâs more romantic than falling for a guy immediately after your fiancĂ© kicks the bucket?
Then thereâs the second male lead, the brooding Duke of the North, who checks all the boxes: tall, brooding, handsome, tragic backstoryâyawn. Of course, heâs madly in love with the Saintess, and like any self-respecting second male lead in a trashy romance, he sacrifices himself for her later. Because nothing says âIâm irrelevantâ quite like noble self-sacrifice.
And don't even get started on the heroine's best friend. Sheâs basically there to fawn over the Saintess and then inexplicably fall for Vil, the Grand Duke, after she pressures him into apologizing for insulting the heroine's dress. Like, why? Was his dress critique that alluring?
Now, Vil Schoenheit. The Grand Duke. The guy youâre currently stuck with as your fiancĂ©. Heâs actually a decent characterâpowerful, intelligent, not falling over himself to worship the Saintess like everyone else. But in the novel, heâs wasted. Why? Because heâs engaged to the character youâre now possessingâMiss Mean and Coldâwho treats him like dirt because sheâs too busy fantasizing about Neige. You know, the guy she has no shot with because heâs destined to fall for the Saintess. Then, when your character eventually dumps Vil for Neige, she dies in a freak accident. Vil, who actually loved her (for reasons no one understands), is so heartbroken that he turns into the main villain.
Yes, thatâs rightâthis whole mess of a plot ends with Vil going full villain mode because the love of his life ditched him for the living embodiment of a childrenâs snowman and then died in a way that no one can explain. Cue the Saintess and Neige teaming up to defeat him and live happily ever after.
And thatâs the story. A tangled web of nonsensical relationships, conveniently dead characters, and more emotional whiplash than you can handle. And the cherry on top? You're stuck in it, watching everything unfold firsthand. It's honestly a wonder the book didnât end up as kindling.
A few days passed, and somehow, miraculously, you managed to keep up the act. Every morning you would wake up, still half-expecting to snap out of this bizarre isekai nightmare, but instead, you were met with Vilâs meticulous morning routine and the low hum of his voice offering helpful reminders about skincare.
And the more time you spent with him, the more baffled you became.
How the hell could the original character have messed this up?!
Sure, Vil was particularâokay, maybe borderline obsessiveâabout appearances. His lectures about proper sunscreen application could rival the length of the Odyssey. And yes, the daily inspections of your outfit choices felt a little like going through customs at a royal border.
But⊠he was kind? Like, actually caring?
Every meal was an event because he made sure you were eating properly and not just shoving random food into your mouth like the gremlin you clearly were before. He listened when you rambled about your day, offering advice with this gentle patience that honestly made you want to weep. How could anyone leave this?
You found yourself in front of a mirror one afternoon, pacing and gesturing wildly at your reflection, as if you could summon the spirit of the character youâd possessed. "What the actual hell was wrong with you?!" you hissed at the glass. âWhat kind of brain rot would make someone ditch a man like Vil?! Are you missing brain cells, or was your skull just a rental with nothing in it?!â
You paused, glaring at your reflection as if it could offer answers, but nope. It just stared back, helpless.
âLike, hello?!â you continued, throwing your hands up in exasperation. âYou had a golden opportunity here! Heâs literally gorgeous! Heâs got hair that looks like it was hand-spun by some ancient beauty god, his fashion sense could kill a lesser mortal, and heâ*gasp*âcares about your well-being?!â
You slapped your forehead dramatically. âHow did you mess this up? Were you allergic to good things? Did you wake up every day and choose to be a feral raccoon instead of, I donât know, appreciating this actual masterpiece of a human being? What, did you look at his perfect face and go, âNah, Iâd rather yeet myself into self-destruction?â Because clearly, thatâs what happened!â
Your reflection remained silent, offering no help, which only fueled your rant further.
âYou absolute donut! You ridiculous bottle of poorly mixed potion! Youââ You stopped mid-sentence, running out of sufficiently creative insults to throw at the former owner of this body. Because seriously, what kind of fool wouldâve thrown Vil away?
You gripped the sides of the vanity table, leaning forward, narrowing your eyes at your own reflection. "If I find out that you gave up on this because he once asked you to wear a face mask or told you to drink more water⊠I swear, I'm going to find a way to repossess you just to kill you again for making me deal with this."
A soft knock at the door startled you out of your self-directed tirade. You nearly jumped out of your skin, spinning around to see Vil standing in the doorway, one perfectly groomed eyebrow raised in amusement.
âTalking to yourself again?â he asked, his voice smooth but with a teasing edge. âYou know, thatâs usually a sign of stress. Perhaps we should revisit that meditation routine I mentioned.â
You stared at him, wide-eyed and speechless, wondering how much heâd overheard. But then you caught sight of that soft smile he reserved just for you, and your brain short-circuited all over again.
Right. The original character was definitely an idiot.
The first major hurdle hit you when you least expected it.
It all started with what should have been a calm afternoonâa brief moment of peace where you and Vil could actually spend time together, no schemes, no weird confrontations, just enjoying tea. You were finally getting comfortable with each other, slowly building the trust that had been so fragile at the start. Finally, you thought, things were moving smoothly.
Then the overused villainess trope decided to rear its ugly head.
Vil was talking about an upcoming event heâd be hosting, his voice calm, his usual stern features softened just slightly by the moment of peace. You were finally letting your guard down.
That was until the door creaked open and in waltzed the heroineâs best friend, a girl with wide, doe-like eyes and a penchant for stirring up unnecessary drama. Behind her, looming in the doorway, was the second male leadâyour eternal source of frustration from the novel. He was tall, brooding, and always, always popping up at the most inconvenient moments. A defeated looking Epel walked in behind them, with a look that screamed 'trust me I tried to stop them.'
âOh no,â you whispered under your breath, recognizing this scene before it could even play out. You knew what was coming, and you braced yourself for the utter absurdity of it.
Vilâs sharp gaze flicked from the two intruders back to you, his brows furrowing in mild irritation. âWhat is it now?â he muttered, already sensing the impending nonsense.
The heroineâs friend, ever the bringer of chaos, marched right up to your table with a dramatic flair that could only come from someone who believed they were the only purveyor of justice. âI canât stay quiet any longer!â she declared, pointing an accusatory finger in Vilâs direction. âVil, how could you treat the heroine this way?! Youâve been so cold, so distantâand itâs clear that you donât truly care for anyone but yourself!â
You blinked. Excuse me?
Vilâs lips pursed, the irritation growing on his face. âAnd what, pray tell, did I do?â
âYou know what you did!â she exclaimed, crossing her arms like sheâd just delivered the most damning statement in history. âYouâve been ignoring her, brushing her off, and acting like she doesnât even exist. Sheâs heartbroken because of you!â
You groaned internally. Oh no, this was that scene. The one where, because Vil once made an offhand comment about the heroineâs poor choice in dresses at a ball, suddenly he was painted as some cruel villain who was emotionally tormenting the delicate heroine. It was such an incredibly stupid misunderstanding that you distinctly remembered wanting to throw the book across the room when youâd first read it.
To make matters worse, the second male lead, standing silently but brooding in the doorway, was glowering at Vil like he was ready to challenge him to a duel at any moment. Because of a comment about a dress.
âAre you serious?â you blurted out, the frustration bubbling up before you could stop yourself.
The heroineâs friend gasped, her eyes wide. âExcuse me?!â
âLet me get this straight,â you said, rising from your seat with a groan, âyouâre upset because Vil, what, didnât shower her with praise at the last event? And now youâve decided to come in here, storming into our tea time, to complain about it?â
The second male leadâs brooding scowl deepened, his jaw tightening. âVil has been cruelââ
âAbout a dress.â You cut him off, waving your hand dismissively. âVil made one comment about her dress. Thatâs it. And now weâre doing this whole song and dance like heâs some kind of evil tyrant?â
The room was already tense, the heroineâs best friend visibly fuming, but you couldnât help it. The words just came out before you could stop them.
âAnd while weâre at it,â you said, your voice dripping with mock innocence, âletâs talk about that dress. You know, the one youâre all so upset about. I mean, Iâm no fashion expert, but who in their right mind thought wearing that shade of mustard-yellow was a good idea?â
The friendâs mouth fell open, but you werenât finished. âI mean, she walked into the ballroom looking like a sad banana trying to go to a high society function. I get itâsaintess and all thatâbut thereâs no reason to dress like the interior of an overripe cantaloupe.â
Vil made a choking sound next to you, and you dared to glance at him. His eyes were wide with shock, but there was an unmistakable glint of amusement. Oh, he wasnât pleased with the crudeness, but he definitely wasnât going to stop you either.
âAnd you,â you said, turning to the second male lead, who had been standing there like a silent, brooding statue, just staring at the two of you menacingly. âWhatâs your excuse? You came in here with all this brooding energy, acting like youâre about to duel someone over the fate of the heroine. But seriously, whatâs with your whole tragic hero act? Is your personality just permanent raincloud or do you practice that in the mirror?â
Vil covered his mouth with his hand, and you could see his shoulders shaking slightly. He was losing the battle to keep his composure, but he was tryingâfor dignityâs sake, of course.
Epel, on the other hand, had completely given up. The moment youâd said âsad banana,â he had fallen off his chair, doubled over in laughter, his face red as he clutched his sides. You werenât sure if it was your insults or the second male leadâs thunderstruck expression, but either way, Epel was in hysterics.
âIââ the heroineâs friend sputtered, but you interrupted her again.
âOh, and you.â You looked her up and down with a condescending smirk. âYou really want to talk about fashion? Because I donât know who told you that wearing ruffles with plaid was a look, but they were wrong. Youâre out here looking like you got lost in a fabric store and fell into the clearance bin.â
This time, Vil snorted. Actually snorted. The sound was so out of place that it almost derailed your tirade, but you powered through, buoyed by his reaction.
The second male lead looked like he was ready to explode, his aura now bordering on murderous. âYou canât justââ
âOh, canât I?â you shot back, crossing your arms. âBecause it seems like all of you came in here with the intent to stir up drama over something as trivial as a constructive remark. If youâre going to go to war over fashion, at least wear something that doesnât look like you picked it out with your eyes closed. Scratch that, I couldnât imagine picking that up even with my eyes closed.â
By now, Epel was rolling on the floor, laughing so hard he could barely breathe. âC-couldnât pick it out⊠with your eyes closed!â he wheezed, slapping his knee.
Vil, despite himself, let out a low giggle, shaking his head in disbelief. âWell,â he said, his voice steady but filled with mirth, âI suppose subtlety was never your strong suit.â
The heroineâs friend, now red-faced and flustered beyond belief, grabbed the second male lead by the arm and yanked him toward the door. âThis isnât over,â she spat, glaring at you. âWeâll see whoâs laughing when the heroineââ
âYeah, yeah,â you waved dismissively, âwhen the heroine what? Realizes sheâs been pining for someone who can't tell mustard from elegance? Trust me, Iâm not worried.â
With that, they both stormed out, slamming the door behind them in a huff of embarrassment and frustration. The second they were gone, you let out a breath and sank back into your chair, grinning at Vil, who was now openly smiling.
âYou really didnât hold back, did you?â Vil said, his amusement evident despite his usual calm demeanor. âI donât approve of suchâŠÂ crude insults, but I must admitââ his lips twitchedâ âit was rather effective.â
Epel, still recovering from his laughing fit, managed to haul himself back into his seat, wiping tears from his eyes. âThat was⊠that was the funniest thing Iâve ever seen,â he said between gasps for air. âI canât believe ya said that right to their faces!â
âGlad to be of service,â you said with a grin, though your heart was still pounding in your chest. You couldnât believe youâd actually said all of that out loud. But judging by Vilâs pleased expression and Epelâs ongoing laughter, it had been worth it.
Maybe surviving this trash novel wouldnât be so bad after all.
Youâd barely had time to process how bizarrely normal your life as the villainâs fiancĂ©e had become when the next absurd isekai plot point decided to rear its ugly, trope-filled head again.
It all started at yet another lavish tea party. Honestly, youâd begun to lose track of how many of these events you were forced to attend. They all blurred together into a haze of polite smiles, floral patterns, and far too much sugar.
This time, you were seated next to Vil, who, as always, looked like he had just stepped out of a renaissance painting. You, on the other hand, were trying not to spill tea on the new dress heâd insisted you wear. The dress itself was lovely, of courseâVil had impeccable tasteâbut the whole setting made you feel like you were constantly walking on eggshells. Especially since she was here. The heroine.
Today, though, you were determined to get through it without any drama. Just smile, nod, and let the heroine do her thing. Easy, right?
Wrong.
Everything had been going smoothly, too. The heroine, in all her sunshiney glory, was seated at the table, surrounded by her usual group of admirers. You had been doing a great job of fading into the background until someoneâthe hostess, perhaps?âbrought up your previous adventures.
âOh, didnât you once accompany the Grand Duke to deal with that bandit problem on the eastern border?â the hostess asked, fanning herself with interest. âWhat a thrilling ordeal!â
You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, feeling the weight of too many eyes on you. âWell, I wouldnât say thrilling exactlyâŠâ you began, trying to downplay it, but your nerves had other ideas. âI mean, the heroine here was probably off rescuing some poor lost puppy while I was just, you know, holding down the real danger.â
The air went cold.
The moment the words left your mouth, you froze. The table fell silent, save for the quiet clinking of teacups being set down. Every eye was on you. The heroineâs wide, eyes blinked at you, full of hurt and confusion. And across from you, the second male leadâMr. Tall, Dark, and Broodingâlooked like he was ready to leap across the table and strangle you on the spot.
Oh no. Oh no no no. Why did you leave your filter at home?
You opened your mouth to apologize, but before you could, the second male lead slammed his cup down on the table, the porcelain rattling ominously. âYou dare insult her honor?!â he roared, rising from his seat like some kind of vengeful storm cloud. âI will not stand for this!â
*Why did I say that?* You cringed internally, face turning a bright shade of crimson. "I-it was a jokeâ"
âNo,â he declared dramatically, pointing a finger at you. âI demand satisfaction! A duel for her honor!â
You were still too stunned to respond, your brain scrambling to make sense of the situation. A duel? Over this? All youâd implied was that the heroine wasnât exactly⊠battle-hardened. Surely that wasnât duel-worthy? This man was acting like youâd called his mother a turnip or something worse.
The heroine, ever the epitome of grace, tried to intervene. âThereâs no need forââ
But Mr. Broody wasnât having it. âNo! Her honor has been besmirched, and I shall defend it with my life!â
Vil, who had been watching this spectacle unfold with an expression of mild disgust, finally rose from his chair. His cool gaze swept over the table, landing on the second male lead with all the intensity of a snake about to strike.
âIf anyoneâs honor has been besmirched,â Vil said icily, âitâs mine. And I will not allow my betrothed to be disrespected by the likes of you.â
You blinked up at Vil, stunned. âWait, youâre going to duel him? Yourself?â
Vil turned his piercing gaze to you, and though his face remained calm, there was a glimmer of something softer in his eyes. âOf course,â he said. âI would never entrust such a matter to anyone else. BesidesâŠâ His lips curled into a smirk. âItâs been a while since Iâve put an upstart in his place.â
You gulped, suddenly feeling a bit light-headed. Was it getting hot in here?
The second male lead, apparently unaware of just how screwed he was, smirked triumphantly. âVery well! Letâs settle this once and for all.â
The duel was set for the next day in your estate gardens. You spent the time leading up to it pacing back and forth in your chambers, wringing your hands in nervous anticipation. Somewhere along the way, youâd decided that you needed to do somethingâanythingâto support Vil. So you had spent hours learning how to embroider a handkerchief, your fingers aching from the effort. By the time you finished, you were practically shaking, but you were proud of the result.
You didnât expect Vil to be touched, let alone notice that youâd worked so hard. But when you handed him the handkerchief just before the duel, his eyes widened in surprise.
âYou made this?â he asked, holding it delicately between his fingers, as if it were some priceless artifact.
You nodded sheepishly. âI figured, you know, for luck. Or to rub it in his face after you beat him. Whichever.â
Vil chuckled, his usually sharp expression softening. âThank you,â he said, his voice low. He then noticed the small needle marks on your hands and frowned. âYou hurt yourself.â
You quickly hid your hands behind your back. âItâs nothing! I mean, Iâm fine. Just a few pricks here and there.â
Vilâs expression softened even further, and for a moment, he looked almost⊠touched. He carefully tucked the handkerchief into his coat pocket, a small but genuine smile tugging at the corners of his lips. âIâll be sure to put this to good use.â
You didnât swoon. Well, maybe just a little.
The duel was, in a word, ridiculous.
The second male lead strutted around like a peacock, his sword gleaming in the afternoon sunlight as he swung it dramatically for the small crowd that had gathered. âPrepare yourself, Schoenheit!â he bellowed, pointing his sword at Vil.
Vil, on the other hand, looked utterly unimpressed. He barely glanced at the man before calmly removing his coat and handing it to you. âHold this, will you?â
You took the coat with a nod, trying not to pass out from how effortlessly graceful he looked even in the midst of preparing for a fight.
The second male lead lunged forward with all the finesse of a drunken ox, his sword clashing loudly against Vilâs. For a moment, it looked like a real duelâuntil Vil, with a single fluid motion, disarmed the man in one clean strike. The second male leadâs sword went flying, landing in the bushes several feet away with a pathetic thud.
The crowd gasped, and you had to stifle a laugh. It had barely been five seconds, and the duel was already over.
The second male lead stood there, stunned, his hand frozen mid-air where his sword had been. He blinked once, twice, then turned bright red with embarrassment. âW-what?!â
Vil, ever composed, didnât even break a sweat. He sheathed his sword and gave the man a cold, dismissive look. âThis duel is over. Consider your demand for satisfaction... fulfilled. Now, kindly leave before you embarrass yourself further.â
You bit your lip, trying not to giggle as the second male lead sputtered and tried to come up with an excuse, but it was clear to everyone that he had been utterly humiliated. Even the heroine, standing off to the side, looked like she was struggling to keep a straight face.
As the second male lead stumbled off, defeated, Vil turned to you and offered his hand. âShall we go?â
You took his hand, still trying to process how easily he had won. âYou were amazing,â you blurted out, your heart fluttering as you gazed up at him. âSeriously, that wasâŠÂ wow.â
Vil smirked, the corner of his mouth twitching with amusement. âOf course I was.â He then leaned in slightly, his voice dropping to a whisper. âAnd I expect a proper reward later for defending your honor.â
Your face went beet red, and you were pretty sure youâd forgotten how to breathe.
Yep, you thought as he led you away, his hand still in yours, surviving this trash novel might not be so bad after all.
It happened at one of those overly extravagant banquets the royal court liked to throw. You spotted Neige from across the room, all bright eyes and an innocent smile. He was the epitome of purity, as if his very presence could summon woodland creatures to frolic at his feet.
And you hated him on sight.
You watched in disbelief as everyone around him melted into puddles of admiration. He was practically glowing, and his overly cheerful, squeaky voice was grating on your ears.
The overly saccharine male lead stood there, looking like a cross between a baby bunny and a sentient cupcake. Everything about him screamed "pure-hearted." You nearly gagged on your drink, hoping no one noticed your grimace.
Vil noticed your sour expression and leaned in. âIs something the matter?â
âThatâs him, isnât it?â you said through clenched teeth. âThe one I used to follow around?â
Vil followed your gaze, and for a moment, his lips twitched in the faintest show of amusement. âYes. Thatâs Neige.â
You snorted. "I can't believe anyone in their right mind would prefer him over you."
Vil's lips curled into a smirk, and he tilted his head slightly. âOh? Is that so?â His voice was silky, dangerously low, but you could see the flash of satisfaction behind his eyes.
âYeah,â you muttered, still glaring in Neige's direction. âI mean, look at him. Heâs so⊠good. And not in a âwow, what a decent personâ way. Itâs like heâs one bad haircut away from sprouting fairy wings and breaking into song.â
Vil let out a low chuckle, right next to you ear, (Lord, have mercy) the sound sending shivers down your spine. âI never thought Iâd hear you speak this way about him. Youâve been fawning over Neige for as long as I can remember.â
You rolled your eyes, throwing your hands up. âThat was the old me. The dumb me. I mean, have you seen you?â You gestured dramatically toward him. âHow could anyone even look at Neige when you exist?â
Vil was quiet for a moment, watching you intently. His violet eyes glinted with something unreadable, but you could tell he was pleased. Oh, he was very pleased.
âYou certainly have changed,â he murmured, the smirk never leaving his lips. âAnd I must admit, I find it rather⊠delightful.â
Before you could respond, a very familiar voice rang out from behind you. âAh! What a beautiful reunion this is! A moment filled with lâamour, sparkling like the stars in the sky!â
You nearly jumped out of your skin as Rook Hunt appeared seemingly out of thin air, his hands dramatically clasped together as he beamed at you both. âI have seen many couples in my lifetime, but none quite so radiant as you two.â
You blinked, trying to recover from his sudden appearance. âRook⊠were you just⊠hiding in the curtains again?â
Rook, ever the dramatist, placed a hand on his heart and smiled wistfully. âAh, but how could I stay away when the beauty of your love draws me in like a moth to a flame?â
Vil raised an eyebrow. âRook, youâre not helping.â
âNon, non, mon ami,â Rook insisted, twirling in place with a flourish. âI am merely basking in the glow of what is surely a love for the ages! The way your eyes meet, the subtle tension in the airâit is magnifique!â
You sighed, shaking your head, though you couldnât help but chuckle at Rookâs antics. Meanwhile, from the other side of the ballroom, Epel was watching the scene unfold with barely concealed amusement. He caught your eye and shot you a grin, raising his glass as if to say, Good luck with this.
But the fun wasnât over. Oh no. Neige, the human embodiment of a childrenâs choir, started making his way toward you. As he approached, his bright eyes locked on yours, his smile so innocent and wide that you almost felt bad for what you were about to do.
Almost.
âGood evening!â Neige greeted you, his voice as sweet as sugar. âI donât believe weâve had the chance to properly meet.â
You stared at him for a moment, unimpressed. âYeah, uh-huh.â
Neige blinked, clearly taken aback by your lack of enthusiasm. He probably wasnât used to people not immediately falling at his feet. âItâs truly wonderful to meet you! Iâve heard so much about you.â
You squinted at him. âMm-hmm.â
Vil, standing beside you, looked positively elated. You could practically feel the smug energy radiating off of him. He wasnât even hiding his smile anymore.
Neige continued, oblivious to your complete disinterest. âIâm so glad weâll have the chance to spend time together in the coming months! I hope we canââ
âYeah, no, Iâm good,â you interrupted, turning away and pointedly ignoring his very existence.
Neige blinked again, looking like a lost puppy. You almost felt a little bad. Almost.
Vil, on the other hand, looked like Christmas had come early. His arm slipped around your waist, his touch gentle. âI must say,â he murmured into your ear, his voice laced with amusement, âIâve never enjoyed one of these balls quite so much.â
Yup, maybe this novel isn't that trashy after all?
Everytime you think this novel might not be that bad, it manages to prove you wrong.
The day had finally arrived: the Founding Day Ball. The event to end all events, where the kingdomâs most distinguished were honored in a grand ceremony. And, of course, at the top of the list of honorees was Vil, who might as well have been carved into the actual history of the kingdom itself with how perfect he was.
As his partner for the evening, you were dressed to the nines, dripping in elegance you didnât even know you were capable of. When you caught your reflection in one of the massive ballroom mirrors, you had to do a double-take.
"Who is that?" you whispered, eyes wide. "Oh. Itâs me."
Honestly, if there was a chance of impressing anyone here, you were impressed with yourself.
The ceremony went as expected. Vil was awarded the highest honors, his name met with thunderous applause as he gave a speech that left the crowd swooning. You found yourself half-clapping, half-gawking, wondering how this man kept getting more perfect. Like, was he actually human?
But as the evening progressed, the dreaded scene you despised the most crept into the evening, like a bad smell at a gourmet dinner.
After the ceremony, it was time for the opening dance. Naturally, Vil, being the epitome of grace and nobility, was the prime candidate to lead it. You were fully expecting him to ask you, but before he could even turn in your direction, the heroine â yes, that heroine â appeared out of nowhere, like she was materializing straight from the pages of the worst romance novel ever written.
âVil,â she said in a voice that sounded like honey and broken promises, âI trust youâll grant me the honor of the first dance.â
You blinked. *Excuse me?*
She said it so confidently, as if it were a foregone conclusion, like she was used to the world revolving around her whims. It was the equivalent of someone just cutting the line in front of you at the store and expecting applause for their audacity.
Vil, for his part, didnât even flinch. His expression was as cool and elegant as ever, but you could see a flicker of amusement in his eyes.
âIâm afraid,â he said, voice smooth and polite, âI already have a partner for the first dance.â
The heroineâs face froze in a way that almost made you choke on your own breath. âW-What?â She blinked rapidly, as if her brain couldnât process the fact that someone had just told her no.
You, too, were a little stunned, for a seperate. Was she actually planning on throwing a tantrum right now? In public? At a literal state function?
âB-But you always dance with me,â she stammered, voice rising in disbelief, her face turning an alarming shade of pink. âIâm supposed to be your first dance!â
You physically had to stop yourself from snorting. Always? He has never even looked at her for longer than five seconds! You couldn't recall a single time Vil had given her anything beyond basic pleasantries. The only reason sheâd be in his line of sight was because she was constantly putting herself there.
Vilâs lips twitched slightly, though whether it was out of irritation or amusement, you couldnât tell. âI donât recall ever dancing with you,â he said calmly, as though she were discussing someone else entirely.
The heroine blinked, clearly taken aback. âW-What?â
Vilâs voice dropped to an even icier tone, leaving no room for misunderstanding. âIn fact, I dislike the very idea of it.â
The heroine made a strangled sound behind you, like a baby bird trying to scream.
You looked around the room, half-expecting hidden cameras to pop out, because this had to be a prank. Who acts like this?!
And as you floated onto the dance floor with Vil, you couldnât help but marvel at the absolute insufferable nature of the scene youâd just witnessed. This was, without a doubt, the moment that solidified your hatred for the trash-tier novel world youâd been trapped in. People like her actually existed here?
Behind you, the heroine stomped her foot like a petulant child, completely ignored by the crowd. It wouldâve been almost sad if it wasnât so ridiculous.
And as you twirled under the chandeliers, feeling Vilâs warmth beside you and the heroineâs tantrum echoing faintly in the background, one thing became crystal clear:
This novel may have been trash, but at least you were the one dancing with the prince of perfection.
It hit you like a ton of bricks one dayâcompletely out of nowhere. You had been sitting in Vilâs study, watching him work. He was meticulously going over some documents, his brow furrowed in concentration, his golden hair falling perfectly in place despite him having been there for hours. You were supposed to be reading through some kingdom protocol book, but instead, your gaze kept drifting over to him.
Heâs so⊠beautiful.
You blinked, the thought suddenly snapping you out of whatever trance youâd fallen into.
WaitâŠ
Your eyes widened. Oh no. Oh no no no no no.
You slammed the book shut, startling Vil from his work as you stood up abruptly. âI-I need some air.â
Vil raised an elegant eyebrow, clearly amused by your sudden panic. âSomething the matter?â
âNo! Nothingâs the matter!â you said, far too quickly, your voice an octave higher than usual. You stumbled over your chair in your haste to get out of the room, nearly tripping on your own feet. âI justâneed toâumâfresh air, yes, exactly!â
Before Vil could say anything else, you bolted from the study and down the hall, your heart racing as though youâd just run a marathon. You darted into the nearest empty room and pressed your back against the door, your mind swirling with confusion.
Am I falling for him?
You slapped a hand over your mouth, horrified by the realization. âNo⊠no, this isnât happening. This canât be happening. Iâm in love with a character from this awful, brain-numbing novel?â
You slumped against the door, groaning as the full weight of the situation sank in. How could this happen? How could my first true loveâ you gagged at the phrase âbe from this trash novel?
There was no escaping it now. The butterflies in your stomach every time Vil looked your way, the way your heart skipped a beat whenever he smiled, the fact that you wanted nothing more than to be close to him⊠it was all painfully obvious.
You buried your face in your hands. âIâm going to die. Iâm going to die of embarrassment in this ridiculous world.â
And the worst part? It wasnât even one of the good isekai novels. Youâd somehow gotten stuck in what could be considered objectively the worst one, and yet here you were, head over heels for a character whoâagainst all oddsâturned out to be the most amazing person youâd ever met.
âOh god,â you muttered to yourself, sliding down to the floor, your head falling back against the door with a thud. âI'm in love with Vil. Iâm doomed. Completely doomed.â
âMon Dieu! What a revelation!â a voice suddenly rang out from the shadows.
You yelped, whipping around to see none other than Rook Huntâperched in the corner of the room like some kind of overly dramatic bird of prey, his hat casting a mysterious shadow over his eyes. His entire being radiated excitement, and you swore you saw actual sparkles in the air around him.
âRook?! How long have you been there?!â
âLong enough, my dear,â he said, voice hushed with reverence, as though you had just confessed your deepest, most tragic secret. âAh, love! The torment, the longing! The exquisite despair you must be feeling!â He took a step forward, eyes gleaming with unbridled enthusiasm. âBut fear not, mon ami, for I, Rook Hunt, shall be your faithful cupid! Together, we shall make Vil see the truth of your affections!â
You blinked, stunned. âUh⊠Iâm not sure thatâsâ"
âAh, but you must!" Rook declared, swooping down to kneel dramatically before you. âLove, once realized, must be pursued with all oneâs passion and determination! Do not let this opportunity slip through your fingers like sand in the wind! I shall assist you!â
You opened your mouth to protest, but the sheer intensity of his expression made you falter. Rook was looking at you like this was the most important mission of his life.
Honestly, what did you have to lose at this point?
With a deep, exhausted sigh, you muttered, âFine. Fine! Iâll do it. Help me, Rook.â
Rookâs grin stretched so wide it was borderline terrifying. âExcellent! This will be an adventure for the ages!â Before you could even process what youâd agreed to, Rook leaped to his feet and clapped his hands together. âBut we will need more help. A certain someone with a youthful spirit and just enough mischievousness to add that je ne sais quoi to our plans.â
Oh no.
Cue Epel.
âWhat the hell are you ropinâ me into?â Epel grumbled as Rook dragged him into your predicament not five minutes later.
âI have volunteered you for a most noble cause, mon petit pomme,â Rook said, not even breaking stride as he swept Epel into the room. âOur dear friend here is head over heels for our Vil, and we are going to help them win his heartâ
Epel paused, blinking at you in disbelief. âWait, Vil? That Vil?â He gestured vaguely in the direction of where Vilâs office was.
âYes, that Vil,â you said flatly, already regretting every life decision that had led you to this point.
Epel gave you a dubious look. âAnd you agreed to let Rook help you?â
You groaned, dragging a hand over your face. âDonât remind me.â
âAlright, fine. Iâm in.â Epel shrugged, a wicked grin creeping onto his face. âIf weâre gonna do this, weâre gonna do it big.â
Thus began the most absurd, over-the-top, and borderline catastrophic schemes in an attempt to prove your love to Vil Schoenheit.
It started innocently enough. You wanted to make Vil his favorite tea. Simple, right? But Rook insisted that it couldnât just be any tea. No, it had to be presented with an air of mystery and allure.
âBring it to him while reciting a sonnet of devotion!â Rook suggested. âDeclare your admiration with each step, so that he understands the depth of your feelings!â
âIâm not reciting a sonnet, Rook.â
Epel, on the other hand, was far more pragmatic. âOr you could just⊠write him a note and leave it with the tea?â
That seemed normal. Rational. Youâd take Epelâs advice. So, you snuck into Vilâs room, left the tea and a note on his desk, and slipped out before anyone noticed.
The next morning, Vil eyed you suspiciously over breakfast. âDid you leave tea in my study last night?â
You nodded, trying to play it cool. âYeah, I thought youâd appreciate it.â
Vilâs eyes narrowed, but you swore you saw the corner of his lips twitch into the faintest smile. âI see. How thoughtful.â
Then came Operation: Compliment Vil at Every Opportunity.
Rook, of course, insisted you be poetic. âTell him his beauty rivals the very stars in the sky!â
âIâm not saying that.â
Epel chimed in with a much more straightforward approach: âJust tell him his hair looks nice. Itâs always nice.â
But Rookâs enthusiasm was contagious, and before you knew it, you found yourself blurting out, âYour radiance is blinding today, Vil! Truly, I must shield my eyes from such ethereal beauty!â
Vil, who had been in the middle of inspecting his reflection, froze. His eyes darted to you, and he gave you a strange look.
âAre you⊠feeling alright? Did you perhaps get bitten by a stray Rook?â
You shook your head vigorously, your face heating up from how ridiculous you sounded. âTotally fine! Just⊠appreciating your beauty! Yep. Normal stuff.â
Vil didnât say anything, but you could see a hint of a smirk tugging at his lips. He looked amusedâand maybe a little pleasedâbut more than anything, he seemed confused.
At least he didnât think youâd lost your mind. Yet.
You were convinced this novel had it out for you from the beginning, but this? This was a new low. The memory loss trope, the final attempt to make your life as ridiculous as possible, had arrivedâright on schedule.
You knew how it was supposed to go. Youâd hit your head (a complete accident, obviously), wake up with no memory of Vil, and immediately make the worst decisions possible, like falling for that knockoff prince, Neige. Cue dramatic heartbreak, public humiliation, and eventual abandonment. Classic trashy novel shenanigans.
But apparently, the universeâor whatever cosmic force was in charge of your sufferingâhad decided to take a vacation after all the work it had been putting in. Because when you opened your eyes and saw Vil leaning over you, worry etched into his perfect face, instead of forgetting him, you were⊠immediately smitten?
What?
And it didnât stop there. When he took your hand in his, gently kissing your knuckles in that heartbreakingly tender way, it was like a light switch flipped. Your memories came rushing back, completely bypassing the whole convoluted plot about amnesia and bad decisions.
Because of course in this disaster of a novel, the solution to everything was true love's kiss. The most overdone, eye-rolling cliché in the history of romance, and yet here you were, living through it.
You almost laughed out loud. Of all the tropes this novel had thrown at youâevil fiancĂ©es, jealous heroines, duels for honorâthis had to be the funniest. It was as if the universe had taken one look at your situation and said, âYou know what? Letâs skip the suffering and go straight to the ridiculous happy ending.â
True loveâs kiss. Really. This novel is mocking me at this point, you thought, fighting the urge to scream. But hey, at least you didnât have to deal with more drama. And as Vilâs concerned gaze softened into a relieved smile, you couldnât help but think that, maybe, this was one trope you didnât mind after all.
You'd almost given up on confessing. Maybe you'll just live like this forever, your fate was sealed. The novel clearly doesn't want you to tell him how you feel.
But there was another ball (because apparently that's the only place that nobility had be at in this novel. What was this? the 108th ball of the year?) You'd decided that you'll ask him for a stroll under the moonlight and just tell him.
Of course, the novel is not on your side. What's new?
The ball was going wellâwell, for you and Vil, anyway. Youâd just finished dancing, and he looked absolutely stunning, as usual. You were basking in the afterglow of all the whispered praise and envious stares. That is, until you overheard someone bad-mouthing Vil.
Of course, it had to be the heroineâs best friend, who was apparently using this grand occasion to air her grievances.
âI just donât understand why Vil is always so cold to her,â she whined, loud enough for everyone within a three-mile radius to hear. âSheâs the saintess! She deserves kindness and adoration, not disdain.â
Cue the dramatic gasps from the crowd. Ah, here we go.
You shot Vil a look, but he merely shrugged, rolling his eyes. He clearly didnât want to start any trouble. But you? Oh, you were about to flip the table on these idiots.
âExcuse me,â you began, stepping forward, the crowd parting like the Red Sea as you made your way over. âI couldnât help but overhear your incredibly loud complaints about my fiancĂ©.â
The heroineâs best friend froze, clearly not expecting you to get involved. You smiled sweetly, but your eyes were throwing daggers.
âLet me set the record straight. Vil isnât cold to her because sheâs the âsaintess,ââ you air-quoted the title, âHeâs cold to her because sheâs an insufferable brat whoâs so used to getting her way that she throws a tantrum every time someone says âno.ââ
More gasps from the crowd. You could see Neige stiffening across the ballroom, already sensing where this was going. But there was no stopping you now.
âAnd donât get me started on you,â you pointed at the best friend, your tone dripping with sarcasm. âYouâre out here defending her honor like youâre some knight in shining armor when, letâs be real, youâre just as bad. You fawn over her like a lost puppy, expecting her to shower you with praise when all you do is enable her delusions.â
Vil, somewhere behind you, was probably trying not to laugh. But you weren't done.
âAnd as for your precious Neige over there?â you tilted your head toward the prince-wannabe, who was looking more and more uncomfortable by the second. âHeâs not some perfect angel either. Heâs just a guy with an unsettling talent for showing up at the most convenient times, with that same doe-eyed, clueless expression, making everyone feel sorry for him.â
You didnât stop at Neige.
"And as for you," you said, spinning toward the brooding Duke of the North, the infamous second male lead, who had been leaning against a pillar, looking every bit the tall, tormented, handsome clichĂ©. âYouâre not fooling anyone either. Youâre the king of melodramatic entrances. Always lurking in the shadows, trying to look mysterious, but really, youâre just sulking because no oneâs paying attention to you.â
âOh, Iâm sorryâare you brooding? Again? Let me guess, youâre thinking about some dark secret that youâll drop at the most inconvenient moment to make things worse for everyone, right?â You mimicked his deep, serious voice. ââItâs the burden I must bear⊠alone.ââ You threw your head back in mock agony, hands dramatically placed on your chest.
He straightened up, clearly offended, but you didnât give him the chance to speak.
âAnd stop pretending like youâre some tragic hero,â you added, lowering your voice with a sharp edge. âYouâre just a guy with commitment issues who sacrifices himself because you canât handle the fact that the heroine doesnât want you. Let it go.â
There was dead silence. You half-expected a chandelier to drop just for the dramatic effect. Even Vil had to look away for a moment, probably to hide the fact that he in tears, about to burst out laughing.
The heroine was slack-jawed, her best friend looked like she wanted to melt into the floor, and Neige⊠well, Neige just looked confused. As always.
Satisfied, you dusted off your hands and turned back to Vil, who was looking at you with a mixture of shock and awe, as if heâd just witnessed some divine intervention.
You let out a satisfied huff and turned to leave. "Come on, Vil, I can't stand to be in the same room as these second-rate characters any longer, let's bounce"
Once outside, you saw Vil was still recovering, a smirk pulling at his lips. âI think you may have traumatized half the ballroom.â
âGood,â you huffed, crossing your arms. âThey deserved it. Especially that brooding Duke. âI sacrifice myself for the greater good.â Ugh, give me a break.â
Vil chuckled, sliding his arm around your waist. "Still, you didnât have to go to such lengths for me."
You stopped in your tracks, spun around, and looked him dead in the eye. âOf course I did! I love you, Vil. I couldnât just sit there and let them trash you like that.â
The moment the words left your mouth, you froze. Oh. Well. There it was.
Vilâs eyes widened, a rare, unguarded expression crossing his face. For a moment, he just stood there, taking in your words. Then, without a word, he cupped your face in his hands and kissed you, soft but sure, like heâd been waiting for this moment as much as you had.
When he pulled back, his smile was the softest youâd ever seen. âYou love me,â he repeated, almost like he couldnât believe it.
You nodded, a bit breathless from both the confession and the kiss. âYes, Vil. I love you. Even with all your ridiculously high standards and obsession with skincare.â
Vil laughed, the sound warm and genuine. âYou have no idea how long Iâve wanted to hear you say that.â
Vil pulled back slightly, his hands still resting on your waist, and asked with a quiet, almost teasing tone, "Well then, since you love me so much... should we get married?"
You blinked, your brain taking a second to catch up. "Waitâwhat? Married? Like, right now?" You stared at him, heart racing, before suddenly, an idea lit up your face like a firework. âOh my god, yes! Letâs do it. Letâs get married ASAP. Like, today. Right now. Do we even need a ceremony? We can find an officiant andâboomâdone. Just tell me where to sign!â
Vilâs eyes widened, taken aback by your sudden enthusiasm. âAre you⊠serious?â
You grabbed his hand, absolutely buzzing with energy. âOf course, Iâm serious! Why wait? This dumbass universe keeps throwing garbage tropes at us, and honestly? Getting married right now is the perfect way to flip the script! Take that, fate!"
Before Vil could respond, an overly excited voice erupted from behind a nearby pillar. âOh lĂ lĂ ! Mon cĆur can hardly handle this romance!â Rook leaped out from the shadows, practically sparkling with joy, as if he had been waiting for this very moment all his life. "The passion! The declaration of love! And now, a spontaneous wedding? Magnifique!â
âRook!?â Vilâs voice was a mix of amusement and exasperation. âHave you been spying on us?â
âSpying?â Rook gasped dramatically, placing a hand on his chest. âNon, non, Vil! I was merely ensuring your well-being as any devoted friend would!â He gave a wink, clearly pleased with his role as an unintended audience.
âMe too!â Epel poked his head out from behind another pillar, grinning sheepishly. âI mean, whoâd wanna miss out on somethinâ like this? Yâall are gettinâ married!â
Vil let out a long, tired sigh, but you could see the faintest smile tugging at the corners of his lips. âI canât believe this is happening,â he muttered.
âOh, itâs happening,â you said, grabbing his arm again and dragging him forward. âWeâre doing this, and itâs going to be the best wedding in this entire stupid book, Rook, Epel, youâre both invited. Wait, scratch that, youâre both in the wedding party now!â
âCâest incroyable!â Rook twirled dramatically, hands clasped together, already imagining his outfit for the occasion. âI shall be the most loyal and stylish groomsman! Oh, lâamour!â
âAnd I get to wear somethinâ fancy, right?â Epel asked, already envisioning something much cooler than his usual attire.
Vil was now fully grinning, his initial surprise turning into genuine amusement as he looked at you with sparkling eyes. âYou really are something else.â
âYeah, and now Iâm gonna be your something else forever.â You beamed up at him, still holding onto his hand like you might drag him to the altar yourself right now.
âWell then,â Vil sighed, leaning down to kiss your forehead. âLetâs get married.â
Before you could even start plotting where to drag Vil to find someone to officiate, Rook suddenly gasped, clasping his hands together dramatically. "Mon dieu! How could I forget? I am more than prepared for this moment!"
You and Vil exchanged puzzled looks. "What are you talking about, Rook?" Vil asked, raising a perfectly shaped eyebrow.
Rook grinned, remviong his hat and and dramatically pulling out a folded piece of parchment. "Behold!" he announced, waving the paper with a flourish. "A certified license to officiate weddings. I took the liberty of acquiring it long ago, knowing that one day Iâd be the one to unite you and your beloved. Câest le destin!"
âYouâreâŠÂ licensed?â Vil blinked, looking at Rook like he had officially lost it. "And you're walking around with the license in your hat?"
Rook nodded with a dazzling smile. âWhy yes, Iâve been preparing for this glorious day! Every flower petal, every gust of wind, every glance of love Iâve witnessed between you both has been leading to this fated moment!â He struck a pose, the parchment still dramatically held aloft.
You stared at him, then back at Vil. "Okay, I know this is ridiculous, but honestly? This is the funniest thing Iâve ever heard, and I kind of love it. Let's just let him do it."
Vil put a hand to his forehead, trying to suppress a chuckle. "Are we really doing this?"
âYes!â you declared, squeezing Vil's hand. âIf weâre going full chaos, weâre going all the way. Rook, officiate the hell out of this wedding!â
Epel, watching the entire spectacle, burst into laughter. âOnly in this house, I swearâŠâ
Rook practically sparkled with joy, bouncing on his feet. âOh lĂ lĂ , it will be my greatest honor! Iâve been rehearsing my officiating speech in front of the mirror for monthsâ
âMonths?â Vil repeated, a mix of disbelief and exasperation in his tone.
âMais oui! Every day, Iâd wake up and say, âToday could be the day!ââ Rook sighed dramatically, already tearing up. âAnd here we are. Itâs everything Iâve ever dreamed of. Now, shall we begin? I have the vows prepared, unless you have your own?â
You leaned into Vil, barely holding back laughter. âI have zero regrets about this. Absolutely zero.â
Vil sighed again but couldnât stop smiling. âOnly you could make something this absurd seem perfect.â
Series Masterlist ; Masterlist
Okay, this became way longer than I expected it to be but to be fair, i was on an extreme caffeine high and i'd just finished an assignment that had been beating my ass
#Vil x reader#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#twst#twst x reader#au: nobility#vil schoenheit#vil schoenheit x reader#trash novel chronicles#fem reader
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Logan begging for it.... so sweetly we cant refuse..... when he knows reader needs his sleep..... taking it in his even when it stays soft...... cockwarming reader while we sleeps.....
Yes im writing whis as I fall asleep
Logan Howlett x male reader
headcanons
I was gonna write a longer thing, but a migraine decided to kick my ass all of a sudden, so here I am simply rambling about this.
Imagine having a normal but exhausting day job. Youâre no hero, no vigilante, no nothing, youâre just a guy. And you somehow ended up charming the pants off of The Wolverine of all people. How? You have no idea
Dating Logan is a real treat, even with his roughness and sometimes standoffish personality. When you guys really get close, he starts to get more vulnerable.
Along with vulnerable emotionally, he also starts to get a much stronger libido, seeing as he has a partner now. Him having a healing factor doesnât help you in this case, since it means he has very little recovery time.
Seeing Logan, one would think hed be the dominant one, something you assumed in the beginning too. That was until you guys got intimate the first time and he shoved you onto your back to ride you instead.
There were no complaints from you obviously, because whoâd mind having someone like that riding you? Logan in his broad, hairy and so very heavy way, lifting himself up and down on you like it was barely a workout.
You have to remind him to be careful though, multiple times, seeing as his bones make him extra heavy, and your poor hips are that of the average person.
Having a partner with a libido like that though, also means Logan is always raring to go, almost waiting for you by the door when you get home from your shift, like an old gruff dog waiting for affection.
The first week or two of you coming home dead on your feet and passing out on the couch the moment you sat down passed⊠as well as they could for Logan. He wouldnât force you to do anything you hadnât agreed with, but God, is he starting to get antsy.
After way too long, in Logans opinion at least, he finally canât take it anymore. Being the Loverboy he secretly is, he at least brings you to your shared bed before clambering on top of you again.
Youâre just too exhausted to do much other than pet at his thighs, eyes already drooping, but his almost timid but so desperate begging keeps you awake longer than other days. When you sleepily agree, Logan kisses you so hungrily you almost lose your breath.
You stay somewhat awake in the beginning as he works your clothes off, being kind enough not to rip it even if logan really really wanted too. He knows its your work clothes, and youâve scolded him enough times about ripping up your clothes at this point.
It was hard to even really stay awake as Logan worked you hard, just enough for him to slide down on you, his groans sounding like he was a starving man having his first bite of food in weeks. Had you not been struggling to keep your eyes open, you might have teased him.
When Logan leans forward and just rests his weight on you, that was the last straw. Who could stay awake with such a warm heavy weight pressing down on them, like your own personal weighted wolverine blanket.
Logan didnât even really feel the need to ride you or get himself off, he just wanted to be close to you like this, to feel you inside him and press up against you. So having slowly doze off under him wasnât a bother, especially as you mumble for him to just keep going.
Most of the night is majorly used by Logan to just tuck his face into your neck and huff your scent, or rub his own against you. You will wake up with beard burns, sorry but those at the rules. Theres probably some chew marks and hickeys mixed in there too, Logans possessive.
You do wake up with very sore hips the next morning. In the comics heâs 300 lbs, but thatâs with his comic height, so if were going off of movie Logan he weighs even more. And no matter how much you work out, thatâs gotta make you sore.
You donât really mind though, especially as Logan makes sure you massage your hips in ways you didnât even know were possible. This also just gives Logan an excuse to lick and gnaw at you more, and to rub more of his scent into you, and yours into him.
Yes, you limp that day, and probably the day after. Luckily youâre able to work from home. This of course also means you have Logan on your dick the entire time, even if its just your mutant lover crawling under the blanket to get his mouth on you.
#male reader#logan howlett#wolverine#x men#marvel#deadpool and wolverine#logan howlett headcanon#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett imagine#logan howlett x male reader#wolverine imagine#wolverine headcanon#wolverine x reader#wolverine x male reader#x men x reader#x men headcanon#x men x male reader#x men imagine#marvel imagine#marvel headcanon#marvel x male reader#marvel x reader#x-men#x-men imagine#x-men headcanon#x-men x male reader#x-men x reader#deadpool and wolverine imagine#deadpool and wolverine headcanon#deadpool 3
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