#Burglary and thievery

[graycats-arcane-blog]

Lightcannon Week, day one fic!

Prompt: fake relationship

Fic Title: Here for Diamonds, not Dames

Rating: T

Length: 3.9k words

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/57355789

@lightcannonweek

Synopsis: Jinx breaks into the Crownguard estate to steal some diamonds. When her would-be-victim asks for her help, Jinx finds herself sidetracked on a mission to convince Lux's brother and her would-be-suitor that Lux isn't available.

. . .

Jinx got bored sometimes, and she didn’t cope well with the feeling. Boredom became uncomfortable as it grew inside of her, building up, up, up, like a pressurized bomb. Before long, it would bubble under her skin and push behind her eyes, and she would have to find a way to let it out before it drove her mad!

… Well, maybe it was too late to stop her from going mad.

Robbing Pilties was fun, and it was interesting enough to keep her boredom at bay. Jinx got a rush from finding shiny new trinkets to take home, leaving the site of her thievery with a BANG, and watching enforcers buzz after her like a swarm of angry bees. Sometimes her sister and her tophat-wearing girlfriend joined the fun, which always brought a spicy dash of drama to the game!

However, once she’d cased every rich family across the river at least three times over, it started to feel like Jinx was going through the motions. Everything became so predictable that she might as well have been living the same day over and over again! To make matters worse, the enforcers weren’t even trying to make things fun anymore! Jinx had caught Fat-Hands and Tophat telling their buddies not to give chase or engage with her, that they should just let Jinx slip off so that she would cause less damage and hurt less people, and it was infuriating!

Big, mean sis! She knew. She knew that Jinx needed this! Why did she want Jinx to be bored and miserable? Didn’t she care at all?

Well, if she couldn’t get her kicks in Piltover, she wasn’t sticking around by the river to play with those soil-sports. It was time to mix things up and find new people to play with!

It was time for Jinx’s big, bad, burglary tour of Runeterra!

. . .

So far, she’d swiped nine necklaces in Noxus and five fur-coats in Freljord, and she was having the time of her life! Each place she visited had rich families to scope out, security to weave around, and new authorities to piss off on her way out. She should’ve done this ages ago!

She kinda missed having familiar faces to play with, though. Scaring strangers was nice, but there was nothing quite like pissing off someone you had history with, like Sis and Cupcake. But what was Jinx supposed to do? Stick around somewhere, make friends, and wait for things to get boring again? No, it was better for her to keep moving.

Now, in the regal nation of Demacia, Jinx had her heart set on stealing a dozen diamonds! Naturally, she wouldn’t turn down any other shiny collateral that caught her eye, but the diamonds were essential for her to win this game she’d cooked up for herself.

. . .

Jinx found herself sneaking through the halls of an estate owned by the Crownguard family. She couldn’t help but be impressed at the digs – this place was even fancier than the Kiramman’s mansion! The grounds had an older, more established feel, and the rows of ancestral portraits lining walls of white stone really nailed down the fact that this family had old, old money.

Now, where do they keep the jewels around here?

She sniffed her way past several guards and into countless rooms, but had yet to find anything resembling a vault. There’d been plenty of fancy, metal cutlery in the kitchens and even some cool swords mounted on mantles downstairs, but no diamonds! Undeterred, Jinx decided to scope out some of the bedrooms and see if she could locate a rich dame’s jewelry box.

Scaling to an upper floor, Jinx paused briefly by a door, pressing her ear to the ornately-carved cedarwood to check if anyone was inside. Reassured by the lack of sound, she moved with the silence of a phantom, placing her hand on the gilded doorknob and turning it slowly. The doorknob didn’t squeak thanks to Jinx’s deftness, and neither did the hinges whine as she pushed the door open and peeked inside.

Now this was promising! Arranged around the room, Jinx saw a neatly-made bed topped with several fancy pillows, a sturdy desk laden with leather-covered books, and a vanity sporting a round mirror framed with platinum and blue stones. Practically shivering with excitement, Jinx darted inside, jumped onto the bed, and bounced several times, taking pleasure in watching the airborne pillows flop messily onto the floor. Once she’d gotten the urge to bounce out of her system, she hopped off the bed and raced to the vanity.

Jinx pulled open the top drawer with her lip between her teeth. Hell yeah! There was some expensive-looking shit in here! Necklaces, bracelets, rings, a horse-shaped brooch, and… Oooh, a dagger! Fun!

Lifting the dagger, Jinx admired its sharp, shiny edge. Someone had been maintaining it well; the blade appeared to be freshly-touched by a whetstone. Turning her attention to the hilt, Jinx admired the warm, ruddy sunstone at its center, a jewel about the size of a grape. Around the sunstone sat a ring of pinhead diamonds. Grinning, Jinx tossed the dagger into the air, catching it by the hilt when it fell.

Perfect! This’ll do!

Placing the dagger’s tip against the bottom of the vanity’s drawer, Jinx carved out a choppy JINX WUZ HERE, then added a smiley face for good measure. She then deposited the dagger in a side-pocket of her backpack and retrieved a can of pink spraypaint. Popping the lid off, she shook the can a few times, aimed it at the mirror, and…

... Footsteps thundered down the hall.

Jinx perked up, listening raptly. The footsteps were loud, and they were getting closer. Where was this person going? Would they pass the room, or was it time for Jinx to trade her paint can for a chomper and initiate her fiery exit?

Deciding that she might as well let herself be discovered and add a new player to her game, Jinx set her paint on the vanity and waited.

She didn’t have to wait long.

SLAM! The door bounced harshly against the wall, and a blonde woman around Jinx’s age leaped into into the room, panting. Jinx swiftly looked her up and down and became fascinated by an aurora of light encompassing the woman’s hands. Jinx couldn’t see her holding anything shiny, so maybe she’d dipped her mitts into some sort of glow-y chemical? How daring!

The woman was so preoccupied that she didn’t notice Jinx at first. Spinning back toward the entryway, she glanced into the hall, holding perfectly still and silent save for her heavy breaths. Jinx noticed that there was another, more distant set of footsteps approaching – or were there two? Two more people coming?

“Luxanna!” someone called out in a deep voice. “Lux, are you home?”

“Shit,” the woman hissed as tendrils of light began threading through her hair. Woah! The glowiness was spreading! Maybe there was some sort of injection spreading through her, like shimmer! Was that why the fancy-chick looked like she was hiding? Had she injected herself with something to get high, and now she couldn’t risk her posh, uppity family finding out about it? Oooh, the possibilities were so dramatic!

Tucking her illuminated hands against her chest, the glowy woman clenched her fists in anxiety before turning away from the hall.

When she saw Jinx standing next to her vanity, she jumped, and her light flared all the brighter.

The pair of them locked eyes for a long moment. The woman looked startled, like she didn’t know what to make of the intruder in her room. Jinx took her time observing the woman’s face, appreciating the strange light shining in her irises. She was a bit taller than Jinx, and the short sleeves of her well-made clothes betrayed a decent amount of musculature.

Since the new player of her game didn’t seem prepared to kick off any action, Jinx took the initiative to get the ball rolling. She struck a smile, making sure to show off as many teeth as possible to look nice and unsettling, and leaned casually against the vanity. “Hiya, Sunshine!” Jinx greeted. “You don’t mind me calling you Sunshine, do ya? Come here often?”

The woman blinked. Jinx’s greeting seemed to help her break loose from her startled stillness. She glanced at her open vanity drawer, then at Jinx, then to the pommel of a dagger sticking out of a side-pocket of Jinx’s bag. Then, she turned her head back toward the hall, where footsteps continued to tread ever louder.

“Lux, Prince Jarvan is here to speak with you!” the distant voice called.

Intense thought was going on under that pretty face. Jinx could tell that the woman's gears were churning as her brow furrowed and her nose scrunched. The woman must’ve put two and two together; Jinx knew she’d seen the stolen dagger sticking out of her bag! Were the people approaching somehow more interesting than the fact that this woman was getting robbed? Jinx had to know! “Penny for your thoughts?” Jinx asked in a chipper tone.

Sharp, bright eyes fixed on Jinx with rapt intensity. A pink tongue darted out to wet dry lips, and she spoke...

“Stall them,” the woman ordered. “Stall them until I can get this…” She opened the palms of her glowing hands. “… under control, and I’ll let you take everything in the vanity, plus all the coinage in my closet.”

Jinx raised an eyebrow.

The people she robbed were rarely this cooperative. Frankly, she’d expected the chick to call for guards the moment she found her room occupied. Were the consequences of being caught glowing so dire that this woman would rather take her chances trusting a thief than allow herself to be discovered?

Fascinating!

This was turning into one of the most fun games Jinx had ever played!

Jinx grinned, saluting the woman the way she’d seen enforcers salute to Top-Hat. “Aye-aye, Sunshine! I’ll keep ‘em busy!”

The woman winced sharply. “No light-related nicknames, please,” she said, edging toward the room’s attached restroom suite. “If you say a word about my condition, I promise, will personally blast you out of this building.”

Ooh, thrilling! Maybe Jinx should give her away, just to see what the glowing lady could do!

Then again, she already had an idea for how she wanted to stall the woman's friends, and she reeeally wanted to see if she could pull it off. Maybe she could start with stalling, let the woman get her light under control, and then give her away just when she thought she was in the clear! That would be fun!

“Her room is just down this hall,” The approaching voice said. Jinx could clearly distinguish now that there were definitely two pairs of footsteps out there, and they were close.

The woman shot Jinx a final, pleading look, then leaped into her restroom without another word, shutting the door firmly behind her.

Giggling, Jinx tossed her backpack onto the floor. She leaped onto the massive, mussed-up bed, folded her arms behind her head, and waited for the game to start. After a moment’s thought, she pressed a thumb to her bottom lip and dragged it, trying to smudge the dark lipstick she’d put on that morning.

Seconds later, two men appeared at the entrance of the room. One of them had a face resembling the woman's, but more square-jawed, serious, and with darker hair. He was also ridiculously tall and broad shouldered, and was wearing a pair of massive, metal pauldrons, which Jinx had never seen anyone bother with so far from a battlefield.

The second man was only slightly shorter than the first with a similar, muscular build. He was also the fanciest schmuck Jinx had ever seen, his tailored clothes bedecked in gold tones and royal insignias.

Both men, upon finding Jinx sprawled on the bed, immediately unsheathed their swords, baring them threateningly in her direction. “Who are you?” The first man growled, his tone low and threatening. Stomping closer, he added, “and where is Luxanna?”

Removing her arms from beneath her head, Jinx held up her palms in a gesture of innocence, pushing her lower lip forward in a pout. “Relax, buddy!” she groused. “She’s just fixing her makeup.” Raising her voice, Jinx added, “Isn’t that right…” No light-themed nicknames, huh? “… Blondie?”

From behind the restroom door, Luxanna helpfully chipped in, “She’s right, I’m just freshening up, Garen! I’ll be out in a few minutes!”

The men’s swords hesitantly lowered. The second man placed his weapon back in his sheath, but the first, Garen, kept his held low, eyes narrowing in suspicion. “You’re a friend of Lux?” he questioned. “I’ve never seen you before. You don’t look like you’re from around here.”

Jinx hummed, stretching her legs, scraping her still-booted feet against the bed’s intricate quilt. This movement seemed to annoy the man, so Jinx doubled down, pressing hard enough for the dirt on her soles to leave marks. She glanced at the pens and stationary on Lux’s desk. “We’ve been pen-pals for ages,” she told him. “Didn’t Lux ever mention me? Good ole’…” Would these people recognize the name of Piltover’s Most Wanted? Best not to risk losing the game just yet. “… Powder? She’s been beggin’ me to visit. I’m surprised she forgot to tell you I’d be here.”

The man remained unmoved. “Lux hasn’t mentioned you at all,” he said.

“Well, you’ve heard of me now,” Jinx announced. Baring all her teeth in a too-wide grin, she added, “Good to meet ya, big guy!”

The second man laid a hand on Garen’s shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. “Families like ours live very public lives,” he reasoned. “It makes sense that Luxanna would wish to keep some of her friends to herself.”

Garen’s tense shoulders lowered at his companion’s gesture, but he still frowned. “Lux doesn’t keep secrets from me.”

Jinx couldn’t help letting a giggle slip loose as she recalled the light that Lux was currently hiding.

The man’s brows sunk lower, casting shadows over his eyes. Garen pinned Jinx with a long, hard look. “Miss... Powder,” he said, “You shouldn’t be in Lux’s quarters unsupervised, friend or not. You shouldn’t even be in this house without a guard to mind you, but for Lux’s sake, I’ll let it slide this once. That being said, It would be best if you left Lux’s room for the time being, as she is needed for a private discussion with Prince Jarvan and myself. If you return to the foyer, one of the house staff will be happy to escort you through town to the place where you’re staying.”

Jinx pouted. “Awww, but Lux said I could stay the night here!” she complained. Then, after biting her lip in a way she hoped came across as suggestive, she sighed, “Besides… I’m reeeally out-of-breath from finally getting’ to know my pen-pal after all that time long-distance. Lux really knows how to treat a gal.”

Jinx thought she heard Lux drop something from behind the restroom door. Prince Jarvan’s eyebrows shot up. Garen’s jaw clenched.

After a long, tense silence, Prince Jarvan said slowly, “… I didn’t realize Luxanna was… otherwise occupied.”

“She isn’t,” Garen stated, enunciating each word firmly.

“She is,” Jinx opposed blithely.

Prince Jarvan glanced between the two of them. He looked very much like he no longer wanted to be in the room. “If Lux is busy, then perhaps we’d better postpone discussion of the arrangement.”

Garen hissed a breath through his clenched jaw. “No,” he said, “there’s no need for postponement. I believe there’s been some misunderstanding about why Lux brought her friend here. We can have her wait in one of the guest rooms while we…”

“A misunderstanding?” Jinx tipped her head, maintaining an innocent expression. “Oh, sorry. I was trying to be subtle. Polite, you know. But, yeah, just to set the record straight: Your hot sister has been making out with me. All afternoon. And she's really good at it, too.” Adopting a dreamy expression, Jinx mused, “I think I’m in love with her.”

The two men were so busy gaping at Jinx that they seemed to miss the flash of light that flared beneath the restroom door.

“She…” Garen’s face was flushing red – whether from outrage or embarrassment, Jinx wasn’t sure. “… What?”

Jarvan took a step back, passing through the doorway and into the hall. “I’ll leave you to discuss matters with your sister,” he stated after an awkward pause, then he stepped out of sight. Jinx could hear him marching down the hall, drawing further and further away. Silence reigned once the footsteps dispersed, and Garen and Jinx were left staring at each other, one red-faced, the other grinning dreamily.

Garen cleared his throat. Averting his eyes from Jinx, he turned his attention instead to the restroom door. “Lux,” he called, “Please come out and explain your new friend to me.”

“Um… Ah…” Lux’s tentative voice was muffled by the door. She spent several seconds searching for words before she meekly settled on, “She’s already explained herself to you. Do you really need me to repeat it?”

Jinx could feel her grin stretching wider. Hell yes, Blondie was in on the ruse!

Unfortunately, Garen’s next words made it clear that he was unconvinced. “Whatever you’re trying to hide behind this show, I need you to come clean about it now so that we can clear the air with Prince Jarvan as soon as possible. You know what he was here to discuss.”

Jinx raised an eyebrow curiously. What was the prince here to discuss? Something important?

“… Yes,” Lux said, and Jinx detected a shift in her tone, as if the shiny gal wasn’t too happy with her big brother. “I know all about the arrangement that you proposed to him without my say.”

Ooh, there was some drama here! The game just kept getting better and better!

“Come out now, Lux,” Garen demanded, stepping deeper into the room.

Now, that wasn’t a very nice tone! “Hey now,” Jinx protested, “is that any way to speak to your sis? She’s a big girl, and she can choose for herself when she wants to... come out.”

“It’s alright… Powder,” Lux said, her footsteps shuffling behind the door. “I’m… I’m ready now.”

Awww, already? Jinx didn’t want the game to end! This was fun!

Slowly, Lux pushed open her restroom door.

She’d gotten her light under control. Her hands were dull, and her eyes were an even sky-blue. Stepping into the room, she looked up at her brother, mouth parting slightly as if to say something… But then she squeezed her eyes shut and bit her lip.

“Well?” Garen prompted.

Lux’s eyes sprung back open, but she didn’t meet her brother’s gaze. She looked at Jinx.

As the woman began to march toward the bed, Jinx’s eyebrows shot up. What was she…?

Lux leaped upon the bed, rolled over Jinx, and kissed her.

“Mmmph!?” Jinx squirmed for a moment in surprise. The mouth above hers pressed down insistently, lips slightly parted, and a hand pinched her arm as if to get her attention.

Garen was watching them incredulously.

The game. Right. The game. The game!

Hamming it up with a moan, Jinx wrapped her arms over Lux’s shoulders, tilting her head sideways. Although Jinx considered herself to be pretty good at keeping up with games, she did become a teensy bit startled when Lux’s arm slammed onto the mattress beside her head. Lux’s mouth sucked wantonly at Jinx’s, prompting a second moan, this one unintended, from Jinx. She let her eyes roll back as Lux closed her teeth over her bottom lip.

Hot damn, this Demacian could kiss. Her fingers dug into Jinx’s hair, tugging her head to a preferred angle. It felt really fuckin’ good to get man-handled by this strong, intense woman, and to feel the heat of Lux’s muscular body hovering over her. Lux’s teeth detached from Jinx’s lower lip, and Jinx let her mouth hang open, preparing to welcome the woman’s tongue.

However, as the seconds passed and nothing entered her quickly-cooling mouth, Jinx had to crack open her eyes to reassess what was going on.

Lux was looking down at her. For a moment, there was something stern in her expression, as if Lux were silently telling her to keep-playing-along-or-I-swear-I'll-blast-you-into-the-sun. Then, Lux smiled tenderly, stroking gentle fingers against Jinx’s cheek. “Sorry to keep you waiting, sweetheart,” she purred in a tone that sent fireworks popping through Jinx’s chest. Then, looking up at her brother, she said, "I don’t know what you think we still need to talk about. I’m not interested in the arrangement with Prince Jarvan. I’m otherwise occupied today, and will continue to be so for as long as Powder wishes to stay. If you want to be helpful, you can ask the staff about setting up a guest room for her. If not, I’ll just let her stay in my personal quarters.”

Seemingly shell-shocked, Garen stood and stared, the redness in his face not abating. Then, he hastily turned away, storming wordlessly down the hall.

Jinx had hoped Lux would start kissing her again once her brother was gone, but to her disappointment, Lux rolled away. The taller woman sighed, settling to a seat with her back against the headboard of the bed. “Well,” she mused, “you certainly had fun choosing what story to stall with, didn’t you, Powder?”

Jinx licked her lips – they tasted nice. Did Lux wear flavored lipgloss? “Kinda felt like you were having fun for a minute there, too,” she pointed out.

Lux’s ears tinted pink. Not meeting Jinx’s eyes, she huffed, “Your ruse was unnecessarily personal in its implications. Regardless, you’ve provided me with cover for my light and a delay in my…” Her expression soured. “...unwanted engagement. I doubt your intentions were kind when you broke into my room, but I’m thankful for the aid you’ve provided.” She let out a long, tired breath. “As we agreed, the vanity’s contents are yours, as is the coin-bag in my closet. It’s hidden in the box beneath my boots.”

Huh? Oh yeah, right. The game came with a prize. “Sweet,” Jinx said, still not really feeling motivated to leave Lux’s bed. She’d felt oddly weak-kneed since Lux had pounced on her.

“…” Lux pressed her lips together, glancing between Jinx and the empty hall. “… If you’re at leisure to stick around for a few days, and if you don’t mind lying to some powerful families, I…” Hesitating for a long moment, she seemed to second-guess her next words before she slowly continued, “I’d appreciate your continued assistance in making me appear off the market. My brother’s not going to give up on pairing me off, and I know he hopes I’ll attend the upcoming festival for the King’s coronation anniversary with Prince Jarvan. It would be convenient to have a… a date, so that I’ll have an excuse to reject any offers. And, of course, I’ll provide generous payment for your cooperation.”

Jinx tipped her head to the side.

If I keep playin’ along, then she’s probably gonna end up kissing me again, right?

Clarity struck her a moment later, and Jinx mentally slapped herself. And she'll give me diamonds! The thing I came here for! I’m on the hunt for diamonds, not Demacian dames with tasty lips, and shiny eyes, and really strong arms…

... Like I was saying, DIAMONDS!

“Yeah,” Jinx agreed, “I’ll lend you a hand! It’ll cost ya, though. I accept payment in precious jewels of the clear-and-expensive kind.”

Lux stared at Jinx hard, bit her lip… Then held out her hand for Jinx to shake. “Very well. I look forward to doing business with you.”

[aikoiya]

LoZ - The Gerudo's Dark Past

I wonder if the theory that the Gerudo stole away Hylian men might actually have some degree of truth to it. After all, if the Hylians really were as bad as a lot of fans seem to think, then it's unlikely that many Hylian men would've actually consented to sexual relations with a Gerudo. (Like, I'm sure that there were some, but not so many as to be sustainable.)

I mean, a Sheikah Stone says that the Gerudo sometimes come to Castle Town in search of boyfriends, but it never says if they manage to succeed.

Which could've resulted in drastic measures needing to be made for the sake of their own continued existence as a people. Which would likely only further perpetuate Gerudo hate amongst the Hylians.

And in the Japanese text, the wording used was that they go to Castle Town to "go hunting for boys."

This is supported by the fact that a number of men in OoT's Castle Town reacted with open, visceral terror at the mere sight of the Gerudo Mask rather than the expected derision of basic racism. And this was before Ganondorf made his move.

This suggests a more clinical case of Gerudophobia, which would suggest Categorism as a Phobia. And while the game seemed to specifically Play it for Laughs (if only to avoid crossing more over into an R rating), as a fan, I don't have to follow those same restraints & am free to deconstruct the tropes, thus Playing them for Drama & Horror by examining how someone could reasonably develop such a phobia.

Hell, unexpectedly, Darunia literally yells out that he hates Gerudo despite the Gorons likely being almost entirely unaffected by the Gerudo. And the Zora King said that the sight of a Gerudo gave him chills. This implies that the Gerudo might've actually done something very bad, to the point where even the leaders of races unthreatened by them have a negative view of them. However, the fact that the common Gorons & Zoras don't seem to react at all beyond simple recognition implies that whatever it was they might've done wasn't something that affected the Gorons & Zoras directly.

And it can't simply be thievery either unless that thievery was more so burglary or mugging, possibly even resulting in death, & even then, I can't help but think that this would more so result in wariness & avoidance.

However, the Gerudo were also canonically regarded as noble thieves that only steal to maintain their lifestyle. Which suggests that whatever they did, they likely saw it as a necessity. However, this isn't as clear of an indication of them being as blameless as some might want to believe because you can excuse a lot by putting it under the umbrella of "necessary." And there really isn't a lot more necessary for a tribe of all women than having access to men to reproduce with. By whatever means necessary in fact.

There's also the fact that when Kid Link is caught by the Gerudo, they throw him off a sheer cliff into a fast-moving river. Yet, when they catch Teen Link, they instead throw him down a hole, into a cell. Then there's the fact that the Gerudo Fortress had 6 rather large cells at least. Why would the Gerudo need so many large cells if they didn't use them?

I just think there's more to the hostilities between the Gerudo & Hylians of past games than simple "Oooh, the Hylians were racist oppressors." Like, I'm not saying that they weren't racist (Heaven knows that there's a lot of evidence of Hyrule having done a lot of bad things), just that I think that there was more too it. Because just simplifying it down to simple racism on the part of the Hylians & that the Gerudo were completely innocent/did nothing wrong or that Hyrule's oppression made anything that the Gerudo did automatically justified feels… one-sided. Too straightforward. Way too binary.

Especially when you consider how frankly misandristic the Gerudo are even today. Ya'll, they have an entire sexually segregated settlement where men aren't allowed.

The fuck is that fair? Let alone necessary. I mean, if the Gerudo are as boss-ass bitch as the fandom thinks, then they should have nothing to fear from Hylian men.

This suggests that it isn't for their own protection. If anything, there's evidence to suggest that it might be based almost entirely on a mix of superstition & tradition.

Further, it appears that any young Vai that's born outside of Gerudo Town is expected to move to Gerudo Town at 3-5 & not interact with males at all until 18. This includes cutting off ties with their own fathers.

We don't even know what would happen if a family refused to send their daughter away or if that daughter refused to leave. Whether due to not wanting to leave her family or her best friend who happens to be a boy.

In fact, their misandry goes so far that they'll automatically jail any man that enters Gerudo Town without allowing them a chance to explain themselves. And it is unclear if the knowledge that said man is married to or the father of a resident Gerudo would give him any leeway.

However, the fact that they didn't even think to ask suggests that maybe they wouldn't. Like, you'd think that'd be the sort of thing you'd ask a man in this situation. "State your name, whether or not you're here visiting family, & if so, their names." How hard is that? So, either the guards on duty that day were new, had forgotten protocol, male family members visiting wasn't something that typically happened, or there wasn't a protocol for that they. And even in the case of the last one, whether or not the reason was that this didn't happen often enough for there to be a protocol or because they didn't trust men enough to give them that courtesy.

And even then, that just leads to more questions because if it's that male family members didn't visit often enough for there to be a precedent for a protocol like that, then that suggests either 1) shitty, negligent dads, 2) dad had been told not to come & for whatever reason, Wabbin's the only one who cared enough/put in the effort to disobey, meaning all the other ones are either spineless betas or don't give a fuck, 3) the Gerudo often have one-night stands & none of the sires care enough about their own daughters to put in the effort, ergo shitty dads again, 4) one-night stands again, but this time, the Gerudo don't even have the decency to even tell the man that she's pregnant with his daughter, 5) the father's dead & can't come, & I'm sure that there's more but I can't think of them off the top of my head right now. And regardless of the particulars, it seems to suggest that one side of the equation is either absentee, a coward, unaware, or dead, or the other just doesn't want their man there or never told him.

Either way, someone's not walking out of this situation looking good.

Which, I'm not sure which answer I'd prefer.

And that's not even getting into just how very badly this sort of tradition must be for the Gerudo as a people. They are likely extremely developmentally & socially stunted. As shown here:

There's also evidence to suggest that these prejudices may have existed even all-the-way back in OoT.

Which shows that, even if it's been over 10,000 years since OoT, some things might still be lingering.

Not to mention how badly this sort of tradition must've screwed up Ganondorf & every other Gerudo male in the past. Like, holy cow, just think about that for a minute. How that would've actually felt like if you were in his situation growing up.

I just... to me, that sounds like a very special kinda hell...

Not to mention the fact that in OoT, a Sheikah Stone said this.

Which... yeah, that worries me... Like, a lot...

All I'm saying is, please acknowledge that the Gerudo are a people. Which means that they are going to have prejudices & they are going to have cultural practices that aren't going to be okay. They might do things that are bad or even downright evil.

But this doesn't make them all evil by default, just a work-in-progress just like every other culture.

But, honestly, if they were to, say, build up Kara Kara Bazaar into a full-on market town where the Gerudo's husbands lived & worked. Then, allowed the little vai to go on day trips there to interact with their fathers, brothers (step, half, or adopted), male cousins, male friends that lived there, or even just allowed correspondence (which I'm not sure if we know they allow), then I'd have much fewer issues with the Gerudo having a female-only town for themselves.

LoZ Cultural Masterlist 2

[spunsugarmusings]

Laura Bow In: The Dagger of Amon-Ra Sentence Starter Pack

Quotes taken from the game Laura Bow In: The Dagger of Amon-Ra, the wildly tonally different sequel to The Colonel's Bequest. TW for murder, death, infidelity and such. Change pronouns and tenses as needed, some entries have been edited for clarity, and please enjoy!

"There is still time to correct this most grievous misunderstanding."

"Don't let him shake you. He's tough on the outside, but inside, he's got a heart of stone."

"Don't touch it! You don't know where it's been!"

"That's what you think, you mallard rest buffoon!"

"It is a unicorn, left over from a King's Quest game."

"You're in a heck of a pickle now!"

"Death is a natural part of life, so when your time comes, it's best to accept it and go out gracefully."

"Your perky demeanor and thorough technique are making you a First Class Detective."

"Death from traumatic lead poisoning claims many lives every year."

"Stay out of my way, or I'll thrash you within an inch of your life!"

"We usually just hire men for this job. It's rough out there, and you're kind of…small."

"You mean there's ANOTHER [NAME]? No two sets of parents could be THAT cruel."

"He's got a chip on his shoulder the size of the Brooklyn Bridge. He'll try to cut you down. Just shake it off; that's what I had to do."

"Look, that was long ago and far away, okay? The room was dark and I was NOT married at the time."

"I don't know how you know about that, but I don't want to hear another word about it."

"Oh, lovely place if you like rats, thieves, and roughnecks."

"Don't bother Doctor Jazz while he's performing."

"Ya look so cute in that outfit, it makes me want to scream!"

"I find it distasteful to celebrate thievery in the name of science!"

"Amon-Ra will have his revenge!"

"Excuse me, SIR, but I see a turkey leg on the buffet table that requires my attention."

"I just happened to be standing here."

"I don't think my wife would ever have done it in a mummy case."

"Oh, I'm sure his body is crawling with maggots by now."

"If his spirit IS with you, let me know because I'd love to see it!"

"Very kind of you to say that, but there are many who misinterpret my actions."

"A delightful girl. I keep asking her if she'd like to be my second wife."

"It never hurts to have highly-placed friends on the police force, no?"

"He doesn't care a fig for what's right and what's wrong! His evil deeds will catch up to him though, just wait and see!"

"Our civilization has evolved over thousands of years, so our methods are quite well thought out and practical."

"I almost didn't recognize you with your clothes on."

"Even empty water glasses have their uses."

"Oh, wunderbar! Now we've got the AMATEURS involved."

"The food is free of bugs, if that's what you were worried about."

"That translates out to: "My Fish Dances in the Parking Lot"?!"

"The tablet says: "She who reads this cursed tablet is doomed to be eaten by a thousand voracious scarabs"."

"You might cut yourself, or you could put an eye out, or any number of other things could happen that your mother warned you about when you were little and everything in your life was dangerous."

"Your face has certainly changed to an attractive pale color, my dear."

"Remember our deal."

"You'll have to show me how sorry you are. Kiss me."

"Honestly, you men can be such crybabies."

"Because of you, a murderer is running around loose in this city, free to kill again!"

"I've got more tricks than you have braincells!"

"Nobody just happens to HIDE behind a museum tapestry!"

"The nerve, going around accusing people of stealing paintings!"

"Just be keeping in mind that I'd have to kill you if I ever found out you were sleeping with someone else."

"It's been a long time since I've been able to trust anyone as much as I trust you."

"We've got a perfectly good art burglary scheme going!"

"That's not blood, you got me all excited..."

"That man'd lie to his own MOTHER if someone paid him for it!"

"I lost a load of Egyptian cobras down there a few weeks ago, and I occasionally come across one of the little darlings."

"I need more proof before I subject him to the full force of my wrath."

"Why are you tied up on my desk?"

"If you see him, will you tell him [NAME] is dying on the desk in my office?"

"Ah, excuse me, I was looking for the women's lounge?"

"There is too much at stake here, too many important people are involved!"

"We can either test you or sacrifice you, it's your choice!"

"It's all that damned lousy reporter's fault!"

[danco110]

“You too, Kotose?”

The thief in question startled at the voice. She whipped around while still hanging upside-down by her harness, coming face to face with a kappa wearing a ninja outfit and a somber expression.

“Oh, Jehan! Er, what a surprise, seeing you here!” Kotose chimed sheepishly.

“In my house.”

“…Sure!”

Jehan remained silent now, fixing Kotose with a deadpan stare. The thief sighed, then raised her hands, lowering them in Jehan’s vision.

“I…I know. I promised I would stop. But I needed the-”

“I wasn’t talking about the thievery,” Jehan sighed. “Though, yes, please stop that.”

“Ah-heh. But of course.”

“But no, it’s…” Jehan reached out and tapped Kotose on the wrist, where the legs of an emerald metallic spider wrapped tightly around her arm.

“What, the spider? It’s just for peeking around corners and-”

“The tech!” Jehan growled. “Until now, I thought you still had some respect for the old ways.”

“The old ways of…burglary?”

“I’ll settle for the old ways of anything at this point. But no, it seems like you’ve finally joined the rest of Kamigawa in the Modern Age. Congratulations.”

“Well…er…Maybe I could just leave my companion at the door, next time I’m skulking about your place?”

Jehan’s expression brightened briefly before again growing melancholy. “Well…no. It’s more of a systemic problem, anyhow.”

“I’m really sorry, Jehan…” Despite the fact that Kotose was trespassing, and had been about to steal without guilt, here she squirmed uncomfortably under Jehan’s glazed-over stare. “But, with this, it’s a lot easier…er, knocking over houses. But, you know, silver lining- AH!”

In one swift motion, Jehan drew his sword and cut through the rope holding Kotose aloft. Though the thief’s reflexes kept her from falling on her head, she still landed roughly on the wooden floor.

“Get out.”

“Jehan-”

“GET OUT!”

Kotose flinched, but ultimately retreated. Jehan’s glare now focused sharply on her as she left, specifically on the mechanical spider still attached to her wrist.

[therogerclarkfanclub]

A new short film featuring Roger is in the works! You can check out the preview trailer below, however, Roger is not in this trailer.

Better Living... Through Thievery? • Directed by Dean C. Dusharme • Written by Dean C. Dusharme and Patrick A. Reilly

✨ CAST OF CHARACTERS

☆ Jim (Roger Clark)

Jim is the mid-40's, level-headed nephew of Sean and somewhat committed bank security guard (level-headed compared to Anne and Sean at least). He's frequently tested by the increasing stress of the situation. His primary goals are to help his sick fiancé Izzy with her medical costs and eventually afford to tie the knot. He has the strongest moral compass of the crew and brings very important knowledge to the bank job.

☆ Sean (Patrick A. Reilly)

Sean is played Patrick A. Reilly (and is also one of the writers). Sean, who is in his mid 60s, has to put up with his crazy ex-wife and gets dragged into the heist by the need to cover both of their medical bills. His Irish temper usually has him butting heads with his ex-wife Anne. He's got some locksmith skills that come in handy, and drinks a healthy amount of Twining's Earl Grey tea.

☆ Anne (Thea Sieban)

Anne is played by Thea. Anne (mid 60s) is the criminal mastermind who brings the caper idea to the table. She can be friendly and bakes great cookies, but she's also very smart and knows how to manipulate Jim and Sean into doing her bidding. Her emotions can get pretty fiery and she'll do whatever it takes to get the job done.

☆ Jack (John A. Holly)

Jack is played by John A. Holly. Jack (95) is Sean's uncle figure who suffers from advancing dementia. He can be both irritable and joyful, while also being naturally funny. He boasts about his exciting career in nude modeling. He also misses his long-deceased dad and often tries to get in touch with him, forgetting he's gone. Jack becomes a liability who they end up needing to bring along on the caper.

✨ The Story

"An unlikely heist crew of Sean, his ex-wife Anne, their nephew Jim and tech-savvy friend Mary perform a daring burglary of a local bank. They have to drag along Jack, Sean's adopted uncle, who has advancing dementia and a career in nude modeling at the ripe age of 95. Let's just say things get complicated with ol' Jack."

✨ The Heist

"Our characters develop and execute a heist plan that is unconventional compared to most caper movies. There are some of the common tropes like the computer hacker who assists them with security systems and the fact that something must go wrong somewhere along the way. What makes this heist story very unique though is how it's done by senior citizens for desperate reasons. They don't bring any guns, disguise themselves as exterminators and go in when the bank's closed just after sunrise on a Sunday morning. It's a smartly planned out burglary, not a reckless robbery. The main complication of the heist is not what most audience member's would expect, which helps to set our project apart from most other caper stories. I guess you'll have to watch the film to see exactly what goes down!"

✨ Social Commentary Value

"Our film is meant to come convey an important social commentary topic, being common issues with the medical system in the United States and how everyday people are forced to confront extremely costly bills. Problems with insurance, the pension system and other facets of medical care are to be alluded to and explored in this film. Each of the characters either has some kind of expensive illness or is helping someone who does. The serious tone brought about by characters with realistic problems and motivations is balanced with the absurd comedy of burglarizing a bank in the manner they do."

✨ The Film's Title

"Better Living… Through Thievery? is a play on an old advertising slogan originating from DuPont, a multinational chemical company, which often reads "Better Things for Better Living… Through Chemistry." The "Through Chemistry" part is replaced with "Through Thievery?" to humorously point out how not only are the characters trying to find quality of life through their medications, treatments and other forms of chemistry, as it pertains the original meaning, but also how they decide a venture into theft is necessary to pay for their essentials. The phrase now sarcastically becomes about the "unbridled optimism" surrounding crime and theft and the ability it has to sort out human dilemmas."

And lastly, there is no obligation whatsoever, but if you are able to spare a donation for the film's production, you can do so below. There are different tiers and they all come with different perks, so you'll be getting something in return for your donation.

[mauannacreates]

Click bait game!

Thanks @the-golden-comet for tagging me, and I would also like to thank the original creator of this tag game, @the-letterbox-archives for this pretty cool game! It's one that's interesting enough to give a crack at. Here's my attempt to make clickbait for the Sorcerer of Runes series!

CS:

WE'RE NOT HOME, AND I JUST MET A GUY FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YEARS IN A DREAM...!? WHAT!?

FD:

The hotshot burglary between the hard-ass wolf and the pesky fox! Who will win at this thievery?

SW:

Shadows within the bitter light: explore her hidden charms now!

UC:

Click here to get your free prince! Just make sure you can find him.

I'm lightly tagging: @alinacapellabooks, @sarah-sandwich-writes, @themidnightritual, @sunglasses-in-the-bentley + open tag.

Have fun. 😄

[luck-and-larceny]

Asking Malika for advice. As a former thief, how does one calm the hesitations of a potential romantic partner concerned about virtue and honesty?

Dearest former thief,

I assume you’re the former thief in this question because I’m still out there doing the good work!

And it sounds like your potential romantic partner is all about “good work.” One definition of “virtue” from the Niji Wujiji dictionary is: “a good or useful quality of a thing. Example: Eddard was extolling the virtues of the chocobo cart.”

Were you a good or useful thief? Did you steal good or useful shit? Did you steal that shit from terrible people?  Be open and honest with your partner about your past. “I once stole really cool shit from people who did not need to have that shit and I was good at it.”

If your concern is that your romantic partner will disapprove of your exciting past, respond with equal disapproval of their judgmental present. Honestly communicate that the other dictionary definition of “virtue” is “a quality considered morally good or desirable in a person” and no one thinks being judgmental is a desirable quality.

And remember to emphasize that you have changed. Change is a good thing! You were once a thief and now you are something else. That should put their mind at ease. 

And if it doesn’t? You could always recommend that they change! It can’t be at all fun worrying about other people’s behavior. Perhaps they could unwind and try out a new pastime; it sounds like there is an opening in the field of burglary! Maybe they can discover all the virtues of thievery. Then you’ll both have something more fun to talk about and your romance will surely flourish!

Thanks for asking Malika for (bad) advice! I nearly just had her respond: "How should I know? " before I suddenly remembered that she has an "advice column" and should pretend to know. This was lots of fun. Thanks! :D

[borrowedtimeandspace]

Of Borrowing and Cat Burglary

AU: The Donna Trilogy | If I Could Turn Back Time

Note: Checking back in with Doc...

~~~

San Helios, 2009 (in Earth terms)

“No, nonono, you're short on cash, you rob a bank.” The Doctor thoughtfully turned over the ancient, ornate gold cup in his hands. “Stealing this… That's a lifestyle.”

“I take it you disapprove?” said Lady Christina de Souza over the comm in his ear. Her tone carried not an ounce of care about his opinion.

“Absolutely,” he asserted. Brown eyes slid back toward the cup, gaze softening as his thoughts turned inward. “To this scale, at least…”

The Doctor felt his hold on the cup begin to slip as he lost focus, and he brought his attention back just enough to carefully return it to Christina’s bag. As he did, words came to his lips unprompted.

“Had a friend- another friend, not the one that called me ‘Spaceman’.” His hands folded together and he ran a thumb over the opposite palm, ignoring the curious chittering of the Tritovore keeping watch. “Had a similar way of life, I suppose. Only that was for survival, not a thrill. She took things she needed, things that no one would even notice were missing, that didn't have any real value. At least to the ones she took them from. Plenty valuable to her.”

“Sounds boring…”

“Not if you knew who she took things from.”

Despite jumping in to defend his friend in her absence, the Doctor realized right away that he probably shouldn't have said anything to begin with. Borrowers like Zepheera were meant to stay hidden and unknown by humans, who didn't often take too kindly to their things being nicked. Even little things. 

The Doctor had been around humanity for long enough to know that there were plenty of people on Earth who weren't monstrous enough to mistreat their inches-tall sister species. Then again, some were, and one could never be too careful. 

Zepheera knew that much firsthand.

“She had a lot more to worry about than jail time and fines, let's just say,” he concluded, trying to put the matter to rest.

Christina hummed thoughtfully. “I might've liked to meet her. I bet she's got quite the story.”

“Yeah.” The Doctor gave a sniff and glanced over his shoulder at Christina's descent rig. “She might've liked your winch.”

“Excellent taste, too!”

For the second time, the look in the Doctor's eyes grew distant. In a desperate grasp at something different to talk about, anything to derail from the painful topic he'd brought up himself, one thought bubbled up. It came forward softly, an admittance that he didn't realize Christina might like until after it was already on its way out.

“And you know… that little blue box… I stole it. From my own people.” 

“Good boy,” said Christina with an audible smile. “You were right. We make quite the team…”

~~~

“We're made for each other, you said so yourself! The perfect team.”

Back on Earth, the Doctor stood like a stone in front of his TARDIS, staring down at Lady Christina de Souza without seeing her. Her words, insistently advocating for her deserved spot aboard his ship, affected him as much as a breeze against an ancient tree. 

It was nothing he hadn't heard before. Words like hers might have moved him in the past, but he had to stand firm this time. He'd already given her his answer.

No.

Only two of Christina's words made it through the icy wall the Doctor had suddenly built between them.

“Why not?”

The Doctor could see the defeat in her eyes, asking him only for a reason that she was being left behind. Left to face the consequences of all her thievery, unavoidable now that the police had them surrounded. He couldn't give her what she wanted. She ought to know why.

“People have traveled with me, and I've lost them,” he stated bluntly. “Lost them all. Never again.”

He watched as she gave a surprised blink, but then her clever wheels turned. Behind those piercing blue eyes, she quickly began to piece together what little he'd opened up to her about. The friends he had that weren't around anymore. Probably guessing why that was, based on what she, the Doctor, and the other bus passengers had been through.

Lost in those thoughts, Christina was too distracted to resist her imminent arrest. The Doctor stepped back to lean against his TARDIS and out of the eager detective's way. 

Something about seeing Christina being led away in cuffs struck a chord with him.

Then Carmen, the woman from the bus with some sort of percipient tendencies, called out to wish him well. At first, he smiled and welcomed the distraction from the twist of discomfort inside him.

Until her well-wishes took a turn for the ominous, sounding an awful lot like a warning for his death and something dark on the horizon.

He will knock four times…

Suddenly the Doctor was in need of a distraction from his distraction. He chose the lesser of two discomforts and glanced around the corner of his box to watch Christina being led to the police car down the street. He could picture what came next. Christina would be jailed, perhaps put on trial, and likely end up in prison for all the things she stole. 

And before he could stop it, the mental image of Christina in a jail cell shifted in his mind’s eye. Thick walls of concrete and steel turned to sturdy acrylic, any humane amenities disappeared, and barred doors became solid and clear to fully display the woman in captivity.

Only it wasn't Christina anymore. This was the past, not the future, and yet it was all he could think of as he watched her being taken away.

Before he could think better of it, the Doctor fished his sonic out from his breast pocket and used it to undo the cuffs around Christina’s wrists. Nobody noticed but her, and they locked eyes and shared a knowing look.

It hadn't been very long since the Doctor freed a woman similar in spirit to Christina from captivity. Seeing her slip away and make a break for the flying bus loosened the cold grip of that terrible feeling. He let her run on by and ultimately fly off into the night sky, and he knew she would be okay in the end.

He only wished he could say the same for Zepheera.

[myhauntedsalem]

The Ghosts of Bonnie and Clyde

Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow were two of American’s most famous gangsters during the Great Depression. The two met originally in 1930 in Dallas, Texas.

They both came from desperate poverty and both had an utter contempt for authority. Bonnie, 19 fell madly in love with the 21 year old Clyde.

Shortly after their first meeting Clyde was sent to jail for burglary. Bonnie managed to smuggle a gun to him and aided his escape. But Clyde was recaptured and served a 12-month sentence.

Once out he hooked up with Bonnie again in 1932, swearing never to go back to prison. Bonnie knowing Clyde would probably end up dead vowed to die with him.

The couple spent the next 21 months on the road, with others who became known as the Barrow’s Gang. They quickly moved from petty thievery into bank robberies, kidnapping and murder. It is stated that Bonnie didn’t shoot anyone but that she would reload Clyde’s guns.

Their crime spree spanned the rural parts of Texas, Oklahoma, New Mexico and Missouri. The “yellow press” at the time romanticized the pairs’ exploits–to many Depression era Americans they became a badly needed form of entertainment.

But the reality was Bonnie and Clyde carried out ruthless bank and store robbers where sometimes they kidnapped or wounded their victims.

Clyde and various gang members murdered 13 people, two of which were police officers. The pair actually didn’t live up to their glamorized image, but they did leave a blood bath in their wake.

They managed to elude the police for almost two years but as their crimes became more violent law enforcement doubled and then tripled their efforts. The police did not take kindly to cop killers.

In the end one of their own gang members betrayed them. In May of 1934 the couple were driving a back wooded road near their hideout at Bienville Parish, Louisiana when police officers from Texas and Louisiana set up a roadblock near Gibsland, Louisiana. These five officers ambushed the stolen car Bonnie and Clyde were in and within minutes the car was riddled with over 100 bullets.

Bonnie got her wish, her body was found dead slumped over Clyde. The two bodies were towed from the site still in the car.

Before this was done however, onlookers managed to snip hair and other souvenirs from the bodies. One man even tried to cut off Clyde’s ear and trigger finger but the officers managed to stop him. Since their deaths many people claim their ghosts still remain.

The most active of these hauntings is at the site in the wooded area near where they were shot and killed in Louisiana. Today a weather worn marker is placed at the spot were Bonnie and Clyde’s car rolled off the road.

Many visitors to this spot have reported strange anomalies and mists showing up in their photographs. Most state that these strange lights appeared in just one of the many photos they took.

The car itself is also considered haunted by their ghosts. For 30 years this blood splattered, bullet-ridden V8 Ford “Death Car” as it is known, was a popular attraction at carnivals, amusement parks, flea markets and state fairs. It is estimated that it made it various owners millions of dollars.

Today the car is displayed in a room along with Clyde Barrow’s bloodstained, bullet holed shirt at Whiskey Pete’s Casino in Primm, Nevada just across the border from California.

Several people who have viewed the Ford over the years state they got a creepy unnatural feeling as they stood near it. Yet again, many people who have taken photographs of this car have picked up strange anomalies in their pictures.

One hotel that Bonnie and Clyde stayed at for several nights during their crime spree was the Baker Hotel in Mineral Wells, Texas. It is stated they haunt two specific areas of the hotel, the Brazos Room and the Ballroom.

Some feel their ghosts are still present because they are reliving fond memories. Others say that it is several objects the hotel owns that keep their ghosts active. For the hotel once had Bonnie’s 38 revolver on display as well as photographs of her and Clyde. The hotel also once displayed a poem that Bonnie wrote for Clyde.

Some state that a video of a ghostly woman wearing a long old-fashioned gown walking from one pillar to the next in the hotel lobby resembles Bonnie. Unfortunately this video has been made “private” recently.

[yunadx]

: / / LOADING … NAGANO YUNA / /

20020924, 07:56 AM

FELINE EMPATHY

FELINE PHYSIOLOGY

YOUR BAD LUCK CHARM

: / / LOADING … AUTHOR’S NOTE / /

hello, everyone! my name is ryan (he/him, 28+) and i’m so excited to be here with all of you. 🤍 yuna is a brand new muse to me, and i'm so excited to get to know her along with you! so, if you’re interested in plotting, please 🖤 this post and i’ll reach out to you as soon as possible. i have d//scord available by request, so lmk if that’s easier! ngl, it’s easier for me, so… there’s that! 💜

: / / LOADING … BACKGROUND / /

yuna was born in tokyo, japan to a struggling single mother.

her mom is a notorious con artist and thief, and often used these skills to provide for them; taught yuna all she knows.

they relocated to south korea in year 2016, after her mom married a man from district x that she met over the internet.

although they have a more stable living environment and their lives have improved, yuna still relies on thievery and burglary.

hates the elite; feels no remorse stealing from them.

there’s a lot of charm to her. she purposely curates a highly feminine aesthetic. does so in order to dupe people easier.

in reality, she doesn’t give a fuck what anyone thinks of her.

if she loves you, she’ll give you luxurious gifts. sort of like when a cat brings its owner roadkill to show them love.

she will not like it if you grab her tail; she will scratch you.

you’ve been warned.

: / / LOADING … PERSONALITY / /

getting to know nagano yuna is a tricky thing. she's not shy. in fact, she loves meeting new people and getting someone talking, but once the dive into a conversation, the other person is quick to realize that she's someone who plays devil's advocate. not everyone has the energy for that, but it's something she loves to do. loves. she will almost always question your logic, and not because she doesn't agree with you or understand it, but she wants to test it; to test you. this is something that her mother taught her to do. she wants to see if there are any chips in a person's armor. if they tell the truth, or if they lie. if their mentality is strong. she uses communication in order to form hypotheses and investigate, all while her tone is sweet and high-pitched, and she bats her lashes at you. speaking of, it's easy for her to disarm people like this. yuna's a huge charmer. she puts effort into her appearance, curating an aesthetic that's highly feminine, even if a bit goth sometimes, and speaks in a manner that's delicate, but despite this, when the moment is perfect, she delivers the sickest burns and the funniest jokes. she's a natural. one of her favorite things to do is sit in the corner of a room with a friend, take in all the people, and break down who they are; even if she's never met them. she'll create huge stories about their lives just based on vibes and instinct, and they're often chaotic and hilarious. she has the capability of making a person feel quite small. instead of huge boisterous declarations of hate though, she's more the type to whisper something brutal in your ear—jabbing you right where it hurts, digging that knifepoint in seamlessly, then twisting it. nagano yuna is a switchblade. accurate, quick, sharp. she's intimidating, but only when you start chatting with her. more often than not, you'll see the cat ears, and the tail, and her carefully crafted outfits and feel endeared. her smiles are so sweet. when she looks at you, winks, and sticks her tongue out, it's so playful and cheeky. if you engage though, you'll quickly discover that she genuinely does not give a fuck about what you, or anyone else, thinks about her. this is scary. it means she'll speak her mind, no filter. yuna's morals are rather dubious. she's a thief, for fucks sake. however, if you're her friend, and she's loyal to you, she'll take care of you. it'll be in her own ways, but she'll look out for you; bring you things she's mopped from her latest heist; give you the best, most honest advice; slice and dice your exes with words (and her claws, if you want that); cuddle up to you for affection, but only on her terms; etc. she may act like a lioness, but deep down, she's really just a cat. that might tell you all you need to know.

: / / LOADING … PLOTLINES / /

i prefer to brainstorm plots! 💜 talk to you soon!

[seekers-who-are-lovers]

What might have been lost

Notes: Thank you once again to @flashfictionfridayofficial for the prompt : #FFF196 Against the Flow. This will serve as the beginning chapter of a fan fiction I am thinking of writing about one of the main characters of “Buddy Daddies.” (I don’t think I have encountered a fic about K’s backstory.)

Fandom: Buddy Daddies

Rating: Mature (for good measure, hints of sexual abuse of a teenager and a bit graphic description of rotting corpses)

Pairing: Kazuki Kurusu/male OC, Kazuki Kurusu/Yuzuko Izumi (pre-Kazurei)

Words: 841

As a half-Japanese orphan, there were some things Kazuki Kurusu didn’t want to think about. Left in an orphanage when he was a toddler, he had no memory of his mother and father. No one knew where his parents came from and the reason they didn’t bother to raise him themselves, or if they were still alive or dead. In the Japanese society, bloodlines are the most important thing, therefore, his existence was unwanted, an embarrassment. Yet despite all these bad occurrences, social workers took a liking on him because of the way he made them feel special. Blonde, armed with tea brown eyes, a countenance so bright he was called their little sunshine. He was taught good manners and proper conduct. His half Western features were a blessing. He’d be a beautiful man someday, the same social worker declared as she combed his blonde hair.

“Maintain that positive attitude of yours and take care of your face, Kazu-kun, you’ll go far and wide.”

(Read more under the cut.)

He tried so hard to believe her. By the time he turned 15, he decided to attend a vocational school. Unfortunately, the school fees and supplies cost so much he was forced to work to make ends meet. Any job that could bring in easy money. Anything.

Once he helped an organization cleaning up tiny apartments whose owners were already dead for days or weeks, months, or worse, years, buried in their own belongings. Maggots and flies feasting on their cadavers their faces barely recognizable. The body fluids blending in on the surface where they were found. If their relatives turned up wondering why they were missing was the only time they were remembered. The number of people who was a shut-in increased every single day. It shattered Kazuki’s innocence and vowed he’d never let anyone he cared about the same fate like these unlucky souls.

During those days funds coming from outside sources never poured easily in an institution like the orphanage. It was not hard to fall through the cracks and be persuaded to do something stupid. Treading the path against the flow, he went off the rails so fast, his downfall was imminent. Youth gangs after youth gangs, he realised that his life was aimless. From petty thievery (stealing bikes) to repeated burglary (many apartment owners left their doors open), it was either him hiding from everyone or serving his prison time, or worse, he’d be dead by hanging already.

One day, he met one of the few people who would change his life. Amusing that there were not a lot of them, but Hideyoshi, a 30-year-old computer engineer, took him under his wing. He taught him computers and programming, and other endless ways to go around with it. Apart from having an average knowledge about firearms, proficiency in hand-to-hand combat courtesy of his time on the streets, he added the power of IT among his talents.

Hideyoshi provided him a quarter to live in too, fed him, even taught him how to dress himself up. But there was also a downside to all of it.

Kazuki was almost 18. A buildup of acne had spared him unlike some of his contemporaries during puberty. Still he reminded himself that he would always be a thug. “A pretty thug,” Hideyoshi said while he caressed his neck down his back.

When they were not busy hacking some government’s or company’s websites, Hideyoshi would show him his antique collections of wood prints of noblemen and their male slaves engaged in sexual trysts in nanshoku teahouses.

Hideyoshi loved to rub his rough hands on Kazuki’s smooth cheeks. It didn’t matter if it was day or night, he touched him in places he couldn’t imagine that the only thing Kazuki could do was cry in his sleep.

For the second time he summoned his courage to run away. Once Hideyoshi found out that he was gone, he would be kilometers away from him. But like a moth to a flame he couldn’t resist the lure of the underworld for easy money with the click of a gun or a punch on the face.

One day—bloodied, weary, and lost—the voice of a woman asking how he was felt comic and magical at the same time. Kazuki thought he was dying from a bleeding arm and the woman surrounded in blue, violet and pink hydrangeas was an angel. Her name was Yuzuko Izumi he found out later. Like him, she was an orphan too, who lived with her 17-year-old sister. The courtship was short. He was so elated when she agreed to marry him. But one tragic day, a mission gone awry, the fates intervened taking Yuzu away from him. With his wife and their unborn child gone, his downward spiral was secure.

Still Kazuki decided that he wanted to live so he tried hard to forget all of it. That’s what he learned after years and years of bad luck. He buried them. These secrets should lie deep in the ocean forever that no one should know at all.

[quirkwizard]

For people with Quirks identical or similar to each of 1A and Shinso, how would each be used for villainy and why do you think each would be a villain? You could also just use 1A for this. Ignore cases like blackmailing someone into being a villain.

I'm focusing on the Quirks for this. Not only because that would be a lot to cover, but I don't think most of 1A is fleshed out enough to come up with real motivations for villainy. Even if they were, what they would use their Quirks for what I think they would be like as villains are two very different things. If they were villains, I doubt most, if not all of the students wouldn't use their Quirks like this. I'll also be dropping Izuku in favor in Shinso for this.

Tail: Given how simple it is, the only way I see it working with most people is just as hired muscle for a job.

Tape: This works best for quick, low risk marks, like nabbing someone's wallet while swinging away on a roll of tape.

Naval Laser: Not a lot of great choices with how unsubtle it is. Maybe some kind of interference work, like taking out cameras?

Sugar Rush: I could see this being hired muscle, but it could work for get in and get out kind of crimes given the short time limit, such as robbery.

Pop Off: Another good Quirk for stalling, like using it to lock up places heroes may try to enter through or bobby trapping other places.

Invisibility: This can’t work for most burglary, as you can’t really get around or use equipment, but it may work for spy work to get blackmail on someone.

Acid: This Quirk is so dangerous that it would be great for pretty much any kind of seedy work, like clean up work or torture.

Hardening: This would work for some hired muscle, specifically ones you want to slow down or prevent heroes from interfering.

Earphone Jack: Obviously, information broker would be pretty high on the list, but could be good in certain thief roles, like lockpicking or safe cracking.

Frog: Great for burglary. Between the high mobility, the camouflage, and various slime the user could make, it could serve pretty well for some sneaky thievery.

Zero Gravity: As weird as it sounds, smuggling may be a good choice. I'm just thinking about how easily you could hide, transport, or git rid of certain objects if they didn't weight anything.

Electrification: This only have one niche, but it's certainly useful. They could overload any electronic system, basically making any kind of electric security system next to useless.

Anivoice: As much as I want to focus on animal related crimes, this is just way too good for an information broker. They have spies everywhere that nobody cares about or takes note of.

Engine: While I could see this being used for petty theft, like snatching someone's purse at super speed, I think that it'd work better for a getaway driver, someone who could escape with all their allies.

Dupli Arms: While this would make for a good information broker, I think that it would make for way better insurance fraud or extortion. Imagine you hit someone with your car and you see hands flying everywhere.

Explosion: This would be perfect for any kind of forceful robbery, like at a bank. Not only could you burst through security in the way and quickly establish yourself as a threat, but make a quick getaway to boot.

Creation: This would be amazing for any substance based crimes, like making up guns or counterfeit money with next to no production costs or real trail left behind for people to track down or middle men to worry.

Dark Shadow: “Dark Shadow” is so versatile that it’s difficult to place anywhere. I guess more aggressive robberies could be an option, whether they be day or night, but it still could do well in more combat oriented crimes.

Half Cold Half Hot: Again, the versatility makes this one hard to place. Though with the sheer range and options, I think this would work best for a fill in guy or someone to run interference for when the heroes show up.

Brainwashing: This would be a top tier villain power. It is so great for villainy work that it's hard to think about what crimes it couldn't be used for. Turns out robbing people of their free will would be useful for crime work.

[chaos-has-theories]

Spill the beans on Black Raven! Spill the beans! Spill the beans!

(in regards to this ask game)

You are going for the THROAT, my friend.

Black Raven is the working title for a truly old, deeply teenage angst inspired power fantasy I haven't actively worked on in quite some time. It's based on me and my older sibling. It came to me in a dream. It's so old that I wrote it in German, okay, which should tell you something about how deeply I cringe when I have to go back through the earliest parts.

But it's also... kind of cool?

Explanation of magic system and my fucked up birdgirl of a protagonist under the cut.

First of all, there's the magic system. Creating new spells is a lifetime effort: They're personal things, confined to the bearer. They're also weak, powered only by the emotions and dedications of one person. But - upon the bearer's death they do get passed on. That's when they get stronger.

Noble families have Spells that have been passed on through countless generations. They're powerful and unwieldy and highly regulated. Lesser families might have developed a spell of their own: they can develop spontaneously, but they rarely reach the kind of strength that is cultivated in a family with preparatory studies and passing-on ceremonies.

It is possible - if dangerous - to hold multiple spells at once. They interact with each other in unpredictable ways, and can rip away your humanity as easily as make you stronger. It is therefore highly illegal.

It is also possible - if difficult - to force someone to pass their Spell on to you. If you are the only person present at their death, well. Who else could it go to? It might not work as well as a proper ritual, but it does work.

And there is one surefire way to ensure that setup, isn't there? You just have the one who kills them.

Unsurprisingly, being a Spellripper is even more illegal than just holding multiple spells. Of course, those who make a career out of it tend to do both.

Second, there's my certified little freak of a protagonist. Care's parents died young and she was raised mainly by her sister; until Aria was offered a job for which she had to leave the country. We know Aria only agreed to it because it gave Care the opportunity to go to school. We also know that that did not work out as well as they thought.

Fast forward by ten to fifteen years. Care is a quiet student of thaumaturgy; known to be a commoner whose family came into money late in her life. She rents a room from an old lady outside of Campus, who has decided to give the clearly anxious girl as much family time as she possibly can. When that lady figures out that Care's missing sister is the famous singer Ariadne, she tries to get the sisters to reconnect.

The problems, in order, are these:

Aria feels incredibly guilty about having ever left Care behind, and vows to take her along this time.

Now she feels incredibly guilty about keeping secrets.

This would be because Aria's work as a singer is only a cover. She was actually scouted as a spy all those years ago.

Care is very well aware of this.

Aria doesn't know that Care knows about it though.

She also doesn't know that Care ran away from school as a mere teen, turning instead from petty thievery to serious burglary, to full on Spellripping.

Or that at some point throughout this, Care was actually caught by the city's government, and force pressed into working for them.

Meaning they are now opposite sides,

only one of them knows about it,

and both are being eaten alive by guilt.

And that's that!

[roxyco-deliverygirl]

Delivery girlie skill set could be used for various mischievous acts like cat burglary or phantom thievery so I think everyone should be nice to me for being so so good and well behaved

[tearlessrain]

2, 10, 19, 24 for Mallory pleas anf thank u

eeey thank! (ask meme)

2. What relationship did your Tav have with their family/guardian(s) growing up? Has that changed with age? He didn't really, he's got the urchin background and the only thing he knows about any immediate family he might have is that one of his parents was at least part dragon. Very few memories of his early childhood but he's pretty sure he must have spent his first few years in an orphanage or getting passed between short term caretakers. The only person he was close to growing up was a human kid around his age named Alec, they stuck together and generally watched each other's backs until their late teens (they were still close, but Mallory was being isolated/manipulated by Darius and Alec got into thievery. he eventually got killed during a high risk burglary that went very wrong, and Mallory has partially blamed himself ever since).

The Emperor took Alec's form in large part because he's the only person Mallory wouldn't have been 100% suspicious of from the start (and for a while he was starting to let himself believe that it could have actually been Alec coming back somehow). This backfired horribly later when the truth came out because he was pissed. Emperor kinda shot itself in the foot with that one.

10. What would your Tav consider to be their greatest skill? Is this accurate? He's very proud of his magical aptitude (and is kind of one of Those Sorcerers, though to be fair a lot of the wizards he's met were dicks to him first), and it's definitely warranted. he's got quite a lot of innate power and he's very good at controlling/channeling it for someone who's self taught.

though it's possible his actual greatest skill is talking the undead into killing themselves. not for nothing is he a charisma-based caster.

19. What is your Tav’s greatest desire? Freedom and agency, I think. He spent most of his life before the tadpole being either limited by circumstances or controlled by other people, and it's always grated on him. Man just wants to have a life, and a genuine non-transactional relationship or two. Not really surprising that he ended up meshing well with Astarion.

24. What first impression does your Tav give off to strangers? He tends to give the impression of a moderately flirtatious socialite who possibly thinks he's better than you. it's a very curated image that served him well in the politely cutthroat social circles he previously had to navigate, but it doesn't generally endear him to people who aren't catty upper class mages, and it sometimes sneaks through even when he's trying to tone it down. he's also a bit defensive and prone to assuming the worst intentions.

if you can get past the first interaction and he gets more comfortable he'll mellow out quite a lot and be generally much more pleasant and even enjoyable to interact with, but that first interaction definitely turns some people off.

[cloverses]

storytelling witch propaganda... part 2!

(for the @homemadegirlbossbattle again)

some more info for story because last night it was WAY PAST MY BEDTIME and i speedran the last post

story is an oc that's existed for 9 years in june. she is an old woman. both in lore and out of lore! in lore, she's ageless- lives outside of the realm of 'time', and can pass in and out at will. (which is kind of a crime, because 'time' is a person who had a part in creating the world, and story treats his 'realm' as her plaything.) her age can't be calculated by mortal means- and if you ask her how old she is...

"Oh~? You should know better than to ask a woman her age~!"

(...physically, she's late 30s/early 40s.)

she's a MILF, according to many, regardless of the fact she doesn't have kids of her own. well, except that people keep adopting her as their mom. she should not be allowed children, but that's irrelevant. she IS an aunt though- in a weird way of 'ex-co-worker has a kid who kinda views her as an aunt figure'. she's great with kids, when she's not putting curses on them!

she also always speaks in a singsong voice (written with ~s at the end of each of her sentences, unless she's being eerily serious) AND her flirting almost ALWAYS is double-edged- sounding like a threat as well as a flirt. we love a woman who can multitask <3

crimes she has committed (in no particular order, and non-exhaustive- can a woman really be held responsible for keeping track of everything she's done across several lifetimes?):

murder (many, many, many counts)

cursing innocent babies and children for the sake of a good story

very few morals, lives by the phrase 'the ends justify the means'

arson (burning down villages, putting firey barriers around castles, lighting things (and people) on fire (gotta get those cool scars somehow))

forcing poor innocent people to become spare bodies in case she dies and needs a new vessel

cheating death (see above)

lying, manipulation, the usual (some would argue that is not a crime. she would argue it isn't.)

making unfair bargains with powerful beings to drain them of their power, and not letting them read the fine print (and then robbing them blind of all their power)

tax evasion, definitely

has never paid rent for any of the castles she's stolen in her life

thievery and burglary (gotta get those magical items somehow)

poisoning

a lot of poisoning

identity theft (anything for the sake of a good story!)

ignoring the laws of nature and magic for her own entertainment

MULTIPLE faking her deaths, but is that REALLY a crime if it's to get away from people you've wronged terribly and tried to make their lives miserable on multiple accounts

being hot and stealing everyone's heart and then not giving them back (she likes to play with her toys. which is anyone who shows interest in her.)

oh, and of course, there's the fact she has a corpse of her ex-crush in her basement too that she's desperately trying to resurrect. except they come back more and more wrong every time. doesn't stop story from trying though! one day, she'll come back right..... right?

and there's that little quirk of hers that everyone who gets close to her is doomed to suffer worse and worse luck until they can't quite come back from it. (you can guess what happened with that crush of hers!) but that's hardly her fault. it's just a fun little fact.

vote for an evil witch today!