#Bridge Across Jordan

[reasoningdaily]

This Woman is Believed to be America's Last Slave

Aunt Sally Smith, also known as Redoshi, was kidnapped as a child from her hometown of Benin, Africa. 80 years later, in 1936, she spoke in her native language, Bantu, with a visiting African Academic in Dallas County, Alabama at the age of 90. Amelia Boynton Robinson, a prominent Civil Rights activist observed the conversation when visiting the former slave, according to her memoir “Bridge Across Jordan.”

[fairuzfan]

Have you heard about the global day of action on March 2?

Yes! I have! Here's more info about it (click). Here, from the "About" section:

There is a growing global movement for a Free Palestine. Across the world, millions of people are engaging in demonstrations and organizing major marches in solidarity with Palestine. Our demands for an immediate ceasefire, cutting all aid to Israel, and lifting the siege on Gaza have broader support than ever. On November 4th, over 500,000 gathered in Washington DC for the largest march in recent times to stand in solidarity with Palestine. Protests with half a million people erupted on the streets of London, constituents across Canada occupied over 17 MP offices from coast to coast, and Belgian dock workers' unions have refused to transport weapons by plane or sea that are destined for Israel.  We must keep building momentum and increase the pressure with more marches, walk-outs, sit-ins, and other forms of direct action directed at the political offices, businesses, and workplaces that fund, invest, and collaborate with Israeli genocide and occupation. NOW is the time for our mobilizations to grow in size, frequency, and focus; building a political climate that makes Israel’s business of genocide unsustainable.

Already protesters have shut down highways, train stations, and bridges in the United States; activists have targeted Israeli weapons manufacturers; Belgian dockworkers’ unions have refused to handle weapons transports to Israel; Bolivia has cut diplomatic ties with Israel while Jordan, Chile, and Colombia have recalled their Israeli ambassadors. Be part of the change, take action, and make your voice heard as the global struggle for Palestine enters a new phase.

Join the Shutdown for Palestine on Friday, December 8, 2023. We call on movements, organized labor, youth, students, media and healthcare workers, and all members of society to join us in demanding an immediate ceasefire, cutting all aid to Israel, and lifting the siege on Gaza. This call to action started on November 9, but we will continue to build up the momentum with ongoing days of action. No business as usual until Palestine is Free!

Walk out from work and/or school

Picket Israeli embassies and consulates

Picket against companies that profit from Israel’s occupation of Palestine (Lockheed Martin, Boeing, Raytheon, Northrop Grumman, General Dynamics, Elbit Systems)

Host speak outs

Wear kuffiyehs

Wear black armbands

[scribblesofagoonerr]

You're just like them | buddy & monkey: double the trouble

pairings: leah williamson x reader!monkey x reader!buddy x jordan nobbs

summary: monkey is unhappy to spend the night round jordan's for the first time since the transfer to aston villa and she makes her feelings known

double the trouble masterlist

also thank you to @alotofpockets for help with pics for the header + little ideas to add in along the way

“No,” The words out of your mouth were sharp, you folded your arms across your chest and shook your head stubbornly. You were known to be stubborn at times and today was certainly no different.

“It won’t be that bad,” Leah tried again, her tone being gentle but firm, “And you won’t be on your own, Buddy will be there with you as well.” She pointed out, motioning to your favourite little buddy that is bouncing around happily, blissfully unaware of the tension in the room.

“We’re goin’ to Mama’s house!” Buddy chimed in cheerfully, “Monkey ‘ou can see Blu too!” She’s far more excited about this decision than you are, but then again you suppose she’s used to being there more frequently than you, in fact you’ve not actually been to Jordan’s new place so you have no clue what it’s even like, “I show ‘ou all of my toys!”

“See? Buddy’s excited,” Leah said, motioning to your favourite little buddy with a hopeful smile, “It’ll be fun to be there together!”

“Nope, nuh uh!” You insisted, shaking your head harder, “I don’t wanna go there!”

Leah pinched the bridge of her nose, exhaling a deep sigh, “Monkey, please. I know you don’t want to go, but I would feel more reassured to know you were there–”

“I don’t get why I can’t just come? I’m almost 18!” You interjected, throwing your hands up in the air, “It’s only another month away, it won’t matter!”

“The keyword is that being almost there, Menace,” Leah chuckled, shaking her head in amusement, “Maybe next year my girl, eh?” She joked, ruffling your hair.

“Get off,” You grumbled and tried to dodge her hand from touching your hair still, “I don’t want to go there!”

Tonight was Leah’s birthday party since she couldn’t celebrate much when it was her actual birthday, so the celebrations were delayed until tonight at least.

You were gutted you weren’t allowed to go, sometimes it sucked to not be an adult yet.

Despite your determination to try and change Leah’s mind, she wasn’t overly thrilled with the idea of you coming into a club while being under the age limit and therefor, had the brilliant idea to all but ship you and Buddy off to Jordan’s much to your absolute detest about it 

Hence the whole argument at that current moment that you’re having with her after she’s just dropped the bombshell on you about going there.

“I know you’re not happy about this my girl but it’s just for tonight,” Leah began to speak, “And yes I’m aware you’re almost 18 now but I’m sorry, you’re not staying in the house alone, I don’t know what time I’ll be back and I would feel a lot more comfortable if you were somewhere that I knew you were safe, okay?” She told you firmly, but there’s a hint of a smile on her lips.

“But why do I have to go there though?” You huffed and stomped around in strong disagreement, you definitely weren’t going to agree to going there against your own will, “I’m not going and you can’t make me!”

“Monkey, come on. Don’t make this harder than it has to be,” Leah exhaled a sigh and rested her hands on her hips, “Jordan’s really looking forward to spending time with you both as well.”

“I don’t care, I’m not going! Why can’t I just go to Kim’s house? Or even Wally’s?” You demanded, scrunching your face up in confusion, “Or there’s even Beth and Viv’s as well!”

“Because they will all be coming to the party tonight,” Leah explained patiently, her tone calm despite your attitude overall as she continued to fold a set of Buddy’s clothes and put them in her overnight bag fresh out of the washing basket, “Jordan’s really looking forward to spending time with you and Buddy. It’s been a while since you’ve properly seen her.”

A groan escaped your lips, your frustration bubbling over, “Yeah and there’s been a reason for that,” You murmured, hopping up onto the counter definitely.

“Oi, off there,” Leah swatted at your knee, just like she always does but now you just do it to purposely wind her up, “Will you please just give her a chance?”

Rolling your eyes, you hopped off the kitchen counter, “I don’t want to go, Le,” You mumbled, still standing firm in your protest as you lean up against it and cross your arms.

Leah exhaled a sigh, biting her lip, “Look, I know you’re not thrilled about it, but it’s only for one night–”

 “One night?” You repeated, your eyes widening, “One night? Nah, there’s no fuckin’ way I’m going there and staying overnight! No! You can fuck off if you think I’m doin’ that, Leah!” You hadn’t meant to swear, but you couldn’t help your initial reaction at that very moment, “I thought that I would at least be able to come home tonight after you’re back!”

You especially hadn’t meant to do it in front of Buddy and her little ears.

Buddy gasped, her little eyes wide as saucers, “Monkey, ‘ou said bad words!”

“Tattletale,” You murmured, rolling your eyes.

“Excuse me?” Leah’s eyes narrowed, flashing with anger suddenly. You guess you did just swear at her, what other type of reaction did you expect?

“You’re excused,” You replied, a cocky smile plastered over your face, “I’m not goin’ there!”

“Yes you are,” Leah snapped, her patience now wearing thin, “I get that you’re annoyed and upset about this, but I am definitely not going to stand here and allow you to swear at me like that and think you can get away with it. You don’t have a choice in this, you’re the child and I’m the adult and what I say goes, understood?”

“Urgh, whatever. It wasn’t even directed at you!” You grumbled, completely lying through your teeth but you didn’t want to make the situation worse for yourself, the blonde looked pissed as it was already, “I’m not goin’ there and you can’t make me!”

Leah’s jaw tightened, you can see a flicker of hurt flash across her face, but it’s quickly replaced by the stern expression she usually reserves for you when you’ve pushed things too far, “Monkey,” She said, her voice low and controlled, “You’re going to Jordan’s and that’s final. End of discussion.”

“No I’m not!” You shouted, frustration boiling over, “I don’t even care what you say, she abandoned us– she abandoned me! I’m not goin’ there and you can’t make me!”

The words hung heavy in the air, and for a second, there was silence. Even Buddy seemed to sense the shift in the room, her little face wrinkling with confusion.

“Hey, bubba,” Leah turned her full attention to the little one in the room, very much aware this is a sensitive topic to be discussed around her, “Why don’t you go and choose what toys that you want to take to Mama's house when we go there, huh?” She suggested.

“Yeah!” Buddy’s shout was electrifying, not wasting the time to toddle into the living room and seek out the toys that she wants to bring with her for the unexpected sleepover at Jordan’s house.

Leah took a deep breath, trying to steady herself and you can see the conflict in her eyes, the way she’s fighting between anger and empathy, “Monkey, it wasn’t like that,” She finally said, softer now, “Jord didn’t abandon you. You know she didn’t leave you because she wanted to hurt you, she had to make a choice based on her career and sure, it was a difficult one, but it was something that she needed to do but it wasn’t about her not caring, my girl.”

“But she left us… She left without even thinking twice about it!” You snapped back, your voice trembling with emotion you hadn’t expected to feel, “I asked her to not go and she still did!”

All throughout your life, you have had endless people walking in and out of it.

Your mum abandoned you when you were little and your dad couldn’t wait to wash his hands off you the minute that he could. The 2 most important people in your life just decided to up and leave you, just like that.

It’s one of the many reasons why you keep your walls built up so high because then at least nobody can knock them down and hurt you again, right?

You learned to trust people more when you signed for Arsenal and moved in with Leah and Jordan at the start, you opened up to people who you thought would never leave you, all of them stayed apart from one.

Jordan.

It hurt more than it should’ve done, it just really stung.

The separation between Leah and Jordan was a completely mutual decision between the two of them and you could understand that, in fact even when Jordan moved into a place in London, you would still go there and visit, even spend a few nights there with herself and Buddy when you could.

However, things turned sour when you learnt of the woman’s plans to transfer to Aston Villa in the Winter transfer and from there, you found yourself pushing her away.

If you pushed her away then it would save you from getting hurt too much when you eventually didn’t see her, right?

Wrong.

The day of the move, you found yourself crying and begging her to stay, but she never did.

She left you, she left you and Buddy, and even Leah to some extent.

You couldn’t help but resent her for that now if you’re being honest.

Leah sighed deeply, rubbing a hand over her face as if trying to rub away the tension, “I know it feels like that, my girl,” She said softly, “I know it hurts and I wish I could do anything to make it better, but sometimes people have to make choices that don’t always make sense to us. It doesn’t mean that Jord doesn’t care though, you know she loves both you and Buddy, so much!”

“Well it doesn’t feel like she cares nor can she love us that much if she just chooses to willingly go,” You murmured, shoving your hands in the pockets of your shorts.

“No matter what you think, you know deep down that Jordan does care about you, a whole damn lot,” Leah explained to you gently, her eyes softened ever so slightly, “She didn’t want to go, it was just… look, sometimes life just doesn’t give us the easy option.” 

You continued to scowl, stubbornness etched into your every feature, “Yeah if she really did care then she would’ve stayed, regardless of that and whatever.” You can’t say you’re in the mood to listen, to rationalise, or to forgive. As far as you’re concerned, Jordan chose her career over you, she abandoned you and there’s no good enough excuse for that.

“Look, my girl, I know this isn’t something that you want to do and I know you’re still upset with her about things,” Leah knew this isn’t something that’s going to be fixed with words, but she has to try at least, “I’m not saying you have to forgive her today, or tomorrow, or anytime soon, but I do need you to go there, and just… just give it a chance, please?”

“I… I don’t want to go,” You murmured quietly, shaking your head in defiance. The mere thought of it filled you with resentment.

The blonde exhaled a sigh and ran her hand through her hair, “Please? Just do it for me,” She pauses, “Jord really is looking forward to spending some time with you.” She added.

You let out a derisive scoff, the bitterness evident in your voice, “The feelings’ not mutual there,” You retorted, refusing to meet Leah’s gaze, “Please don’t make me go, Le.”

Leah’s eyes softened with a mix of pleading and resolve, “Do it for Buddy, if not for me.”

The mention of Buddy stung, she didn’t deserve to be caught in the middle of this but of course Leah knows that you would do absolutely anything for your favourite little buddy.

“Fine,” You snapped, pushing yourself off the counter with a huff, “I’ll go there, but don’t expect me to be happy there!”

Leah nodded, relief evident in her eyes despite the tension, “That’s all I’m asking for, my girl,” She said softly, “Just a chance.”

The initial drive to Jordan’s place was mostly filled with a tense silence, apart from Buddy’s cheerful singing from her car seat to none other than the soundtrack of North London Forever that she surprisingly asked for herself and of course Leah was quick to agree to the request. 

You keep your gaze stubbornly fixed out of the window, refusing to look at Leah or engage in any conversation and the blonde, thankfully senses your mood and doesn’t push further, already exhausted from trying to reason with you.

“Alright then, we’re here,” Leah announced, trying to keep the mood cheerful as she glanced between you in the passenger seat and the rear view mirror to see Buddy vibrating with excitement in her car seat.

“Fantastic,” You murmured, your stomach tightening in resentment as you stared out the window, not wanting to move out of your seat.

“Mama!” Buddy squealed from the back of the car, all but trying to unbuckle her own car seat much to her disappointment of not being able to, “Mummy, wan’ out!” She whined in frustration.

“Hold on a second bubba,” Leah chuckled at your favourite little buddy’s general lack of patience, “Mummy will help you to get out in a minute.” She added.

“Do I really have to be here?” You asked, frowning as you looked at Leah for a response, which you definitely already knew the answer to.

“You already know my answer to that,” Leah retorted, exhaling a sigh as she turned the car ignition off before unbuckling her seatbelt, “It’s just one night.” She reminded you.

“Worth a shot I guess,” You huffed in response and slowly moved to unbuckle your own seatbelt.

“It won’t be that bad,” Leah attempted to reassure you, giving you a soft smile before she opened her car door and climbed out of it to walk round to the side Buddy is to set her free from her car seat, “Right then, my little bubba. Are you ready to go and see your Mama?”

“I see Mama!” Buddy shouted excitedly as Leah unbuckled her and lifted her up to place her on the ground, “Mama! Mama!” She continued to squeal in delight.

“Yeah, we’re gonna go and find Mama,” Leah smiled genuinely at her 2 year old’s excitement as she held her in her arms as she turned back to look to where you’re still sat in the car, “You’re going to have to get out sooner rather than later, you know?” She told you, amusedly.

“I choose later,” You murmured, barely louder than a whisper, reluctant to climb out of the car any time soon, “Better yet, I’ll just stay in here and come back home with you.”

Leah exhaled a sigh and opened the car door, “Get out of the car, Menace,” She paused as she adjusted Buddy to sit on her hip, “Come on, just give it a chance, please?” She asked.

“Don’t have a choice,” You grumbled under your breath as you slowly climbed out of the car and stood there with your hands shoved in your pocket while you looked further unimpressed, “Are you sure I can’t come tonight? Nobody would even notice I was there, it’ll be fine!”

“No,” Leah kept a firm face as she slammed the car door shut behind you, locking her BMW before starting to walk up the steps of Jordan’s house, who had already clocked the car and came to answer the front door, “Bubba, look it is!”

“Mama! Mama!” Buddy immediately leaned towards Jordan the minute that she clocked her and you couldn’t help but dawdle behind with a scowl etched on your face.

“Hi, Buddy!” Jordan exclaimed, reaching out to scoop Buddy into her own arms as she hugged her gently, “I’ve missed you so so much!”

“Mama you’re silly, you saw me yesterday!” Buddy’s giggles were infectious as she reminded Jordan that she did indeed see her yesterday, having it be your favourite little buddy’s birthday yesterday when she finally turned 2 years old.

“Oh of course I did but I miss you all the time,” Jordan retorted playfully as she tickled Buddy under her armpits which caused the 2 year old to laugh even more, “Or is that not allowed now?”

“Where Blu?” The 2 year old asked eager to see the little four legged dachshund and you must admit that you’ve been excited to see him if anything else.

“He’s inside the house and he’s so excited to see you both,” Jordan told the toddler, placing her down on the ground before she toddles inside the house, “Hiya, little one!”

“Don’t call me that,” You said like the words are venomous to you in that moment.

“Oh, sorry,” Jordan was immediately apologetic as she shared a concerned look with Leah, “It’s so great to have you both here, I, er, I didn’t think you would come.” She admitted, scratching the back of her neck awkwardly.

“Yeah well I didn’t want to be here, but well, I wasn’t given much choice about it regardless,” You grumbled the truth and continued with your carefree attitude you have going on.

“Monkey, don’t be rude,” Leah chided you for your lack of manners, giving you a pointed look.

“What? I’m just being truthful!” You mumbled, shrugging your shoulders carelessly, “I told you I would come but I didn’t say I’d be nice about things.” You added, honestly.

Leah pursed her lips and narrowed her eyebrow, “Hey, come on. We talked about this.”

“Be grateful I’m even here,” You murmured in response, choosing to have more interest with your phone in your hand than to look between the two old, “Cos’ I really don’t wanna be.”

“Enough of this,” Leah scolded you, “This is Jord’s home and you need to at least be respectful of that, regardless whether you want to be here or not, okay? I don’t want to hear about you being rude this time that you’re here!”

“Ugh, whatever,” You brushed past the older women inside the house with your hood up and slumped down on the sofa.

“Look Monkey it’ Blu!” Buddy motioned to the small dachshund puppy that you hadn’t seen in a good while and you did have to admit that you missed him an awful lot.

“Hi boy! Hi!” You crouched down and gave the puppy some fuss, “Oh, I have missed you!”

“I’m sorry about her,” Leah apologised for your rude behaviour, “She’s just… well she’s a teenager for a start and she’s still not exactly handling it well that you’re not just five minutes down the road now.”

“That’s okay, I know what she’s like. Monkey’s stubborn and if she doesn’t want to do something then she won’t, will she?” Jordan retorted, exhaling a sigh, “She really didn’t want to come that bad, huh?”

The blonde bit her bottom lip and shook her head, “I’m sorry Jord, but I’m sure things will get better. You just have to give it time and be patient with her, even if it’s difficult.”

“Don’t be, it’s fine,” Jordan replied, smiling at her ex girlfriend, “I can understand if she’s still upset about me moving to Aston Villa, I guess it’s just a lot to handle for her, huh?”

Leah shared a weary smile with her ex girlfriend, “If it gets too much then let me know and I’ll have a word with her, because despite how she feels, she’s not allowed to be rude.” She made her point evidently clear.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Jordan reassured Leah with a soft smile, “You deserve to have the night off and enjoy your party tonight, don’t worry about either of the kids, they’ll be fine.”

“It's not so much Buddy I’m worried about, it’s more so Monkey,” Leah admitted, shaking her head as she jiggled her car keys in her hand, “I’ve already dealt with both her delightful attitude and language before we left the house and she knows I’m not putting up with it.”

“Oh, bad morning?” Jordan winced in response, “I had no idea moving to another club would have this much effect on her.” She admitted, ultimately regretting the decision there at that very moment.

“It’s a change and Monkey doesn’t cope with them but she’ll get used to it, Jord,” Leah reassured her ex girlfriend, “It just means things around the house are a little bit tense right now, but she’ll get used to it soon enough.”

“But in the meantime you get the brunt of her delightful teenage attitude? That’s not right,” Jordan frowned, hating the idea of you taking most of your anger out on the blonde, “I’m sorry you're having to deal with that.”

“It’s alright, I totally expected it honestly,” Leah admitted as she exhaled a sigh, “It won’t last forever and she knows I won’t stand for it, I was this close to grounding her after she swore at me earlier.” She adds, her patience wearing thin for your lovely words directed towards her.

“Understandable,” Jordan smiled wearily as she scratched the back of her neck, “I don’t have much hope to fix everything in an instant but I can at least try my hardest.” She tells her.

“Just don’t give up on her,” Leah told her as she shared a knowing look with Jordan as she popped her head into the living room and smiled when she saw you’ve joined Buddy on the floor to give Blu some fuss, “Seems just like old times, eh?” She joked, gesturing for Jordan to look in the living room.

“I swear I have a photo identical to this taken last year,” Jordan joked lightly as she moved further into the living room, “I was thinking that we could have pasta for dinner tonight? Monkey, I know it’s one of your favourites… unless it’s changed?” She asked, hesitant for the backlash from you.

“No thanks, I’m not hungry,” You respond politely as you could while seeing the warning luck that Leah is giving you in case you comment something less polite.

“Monkey, you didn’t eat much for breakfast nor did you have anything for lunch,” Leah frowned and shook her head, “You love pasta, especially the way Jord makes it!”

“Not hungry,” You repeated with a tight lipped smile on your face, going back to staring at your phone in your hand and scrolling through Instagram.

“That’s okay,” Jordan agreed with you, “I’ll go ahead and start to make it, I’ll leave some out for you in case you decide you're a bit hungry.” She told you, although you doubt you would want to eat it.

“Right then,” Leah spoke up as she looked towards both you and Buddy, “I’m going to head off back home to get ready, I’ll leave you three to it.”

“Thanks, Le,” Jordan replied, smiling at her ex, “I hope you enjoy your party tonight and celebrate.”

“Oh I intend too,” Leah couldn’t help but grin playfully at her ex, “Much better to know that the girls are both here with you as well.” She added.

“They’re safe with me,” Jordan promised, “Enjoy your party and don’t worry about things here, it’ll be fine.”

“Here’s hoping so– Monkey, be good!” Leah warned, pointing her index finger directly at you, “Remember what I said.”

“Yeah, yeah,” You murmured, rolling your eyes.

“Mummy, wait for me. I didn’t say bye to you!” Buddy came rushing over to Leah and threw her little arms around her.

“Oh how could I leave without saying bye to my little bubba?” Leah leaned down and cupped Buddy’s face in her hands before she peppered her face with kisses, “Be good for your Mama, okay? I love you lots and lots!”

“Love ‘ou lots and lots, Mummy!” Buddy told her, continuing to hug Leah tightly.

“Not as much as I love you, my little bubba,” Leah genuinely smiled at the 2 year old before she turned her attention to you as she walked nearer to where you sat on the sofa, “And I love you too, my grumpy girl.” she told you, placing a kiss on your forehead, much to your own protest about it.

“Leah man, get off,” You grumbled, trying to swat her hand away from touching you, “Bye!”

Leah and Jordan shared another apprehensive look with one another, “Don’t worry, I’ve got it under control here. I’ll text you if anything bad happens,” Jordan reassured her, “Enjoy the night, honestly.”

“Okay, okay,” The blonde exhaled a sigh and runs her hand through her hair, “I’ll have my phone with me the whole time, so you can still text me if you need too,” She said, looking more towards you to reassure you that you can still get in touch with her if needed.

“Prepared to be spammed with gifs,” You murmured, a mischievous glint in your eye as you don’t even bother to look up from your phone in your hand, “Can’t say I didn’t warn you either.” You added.

“Mama! Mama!” Buddy’s voice was the centre of conversation with Jordan as the two of them played together on the carpet in front of you with some of the cars that your favourite little buddy brought from home, “Me cars’ red like Mummy’s team!”

Jordan’s eyes lit up in amazement as she smiled at the 2 year old, “That’s right, clever girl! What colour is this car?” She wondered, holding up the dark blue coloured car.

“Blue!” Buddy retorted, excitedly, “Like, not Mummy’s team!” She added.

“Well done, Buddy,” Jordan praised the toddler, “You’re getting more and more smart every day, kiddo!” She told her.

You couldn’t help but sit there and roll your eyes. You didn’t care much to contribute to the conversation Jordan and Buddy were having, you would much rather be interested to sit on your phone like you planned to do, at least your TikTok page was a good distraction.

“Alright, I should probably start dinner soon,” Jordan said, realising the time on the clock on the wall, moving to get up from the floor as she looked at you, “Will you please keep an eye on Buddy for me while I sort that out?” She asked.

Glancing up from your phone, you couldn’t help but huff and place it beside you, “Yeah whatever, but not for you though, I’m only doing it for Buddy,” You told her, bluntly as possible.

“Oh, yeah that’s fine,” Jordan responded, swallowing the lump that formed in her throat as she tries to not feel too hurt by that comment but the reality of it was that it really bothered her - You used to be so close with her, you would follow her around like a little shadow and not you want nothing to do with her at all, it really stung.

“Monkey, will ‘ou play with me?” Buddy’s little voice chirped as she peered up to look at you with hopeful eyes, “We build lego!”

“How can I say no to my favourite little buddy?” A small small appeared on your face as you slid off the sofa to join Buddy on the floor, she had all but completely abandoned her cars she was previously playing with in favour of the lego bricks that she attempted to drag over from the corner of the room, “Too heavy, Monkey!” She whines in frustration.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got them, Bud,” You giggled and stood up to easily move and pick up the lego bricks, “See? They’re not that heavy, you just needed a strong big sister to lift them up,” You joked with her.

“Thank ‘ou!” Buddy squealed and immediately dived into the box to start pulling out the different colourful lego bricks, “Monkey, ‘ou start with this one and I start with this one!” She declared, handing you a green block.

“Why can’t I have the one you have?” You asked playfully, pointing to the red block that she had in her hands, “I prefer that one.”

“No, that’s my block. ‘Ou have the green one!” Buddy’s little voice demands firmly, pushing the green block back into your hand, “I like red better!”

“Of course you do,” You retorted, grinning in amusement, “What colour is North London, Buddy?”

“Red!” Buddy declared loudly.

“Ain’t that right, Bud!” You nodded in agreement, “Guess I can agree to stick with the green block just for you.” You added, shrugging your shoulders as the two of you start to build together.

However that didn’t stop the two of you squabbling about the rest of the blocks though.

“What’s going on in here then?” Jordan popped her head round the door as she heard the commotion coming from the living room, “I thought you two would be playing nicely in here, eh?”

“Mama!” Buddy’s lower lip trembled a little, her big eyes filling up with frustration, “Monkey’s not sharing and letting me the ‘ellow block!” She whined, pointing accusingly at you.

“You're such a tattletale sometimes,” You rolled your eyes, feeling the frustration building inside of you, “You wanted me to play with you, Buddy! How am I supposed to build something if you keep taking them all?” You argued, crossing your arms over your chest defensively.

Jordan sighed and knelt down to the toddlers level, “Buddy, you know if you want Monkey to play with you then you have to share,” She reminded her, “Even if you like the certain coloured blocks.”

“But you don’ understand Mama, I like them ones. Monkey can have others!” Buddy pouted, clearly not liking the answer, “My blocks!” She declared, keeping a tight hold of them.

“Whatever, I don’t care,” You remarked, feeling your own frustration simmering as you do no more than push the tower over that Buddy’s been building in anger, “Oops.”

“M’ Tower!” Buddy’s whined, her upset clearly evident as the tears began to form in her big eyes, her lower lip quivering, “Monkey, ‘ou ruined it!”

“Oh well,” You shrugged carelessly and sidestepped over it to make your way back to sit on the sofa again.

“Monkey!” Jordan’s eyes widened in disbelief at your current attitude, especially towards your favourite little buddy of all people before she was quick to scoop the upset 2 year old onto her lap, “Hey, it’s okay, Buddy. We can just build it again, yeah?” She reassured her, hoping to calm the situation.

Buddy continued to sob and cling to Jordan, “I no wan’ build with Monkey, she’s a meany!”

You couldn’t lie and say that didn’t hurt your feelings because it definitely did to hear it out of the toddlers’ mouth even if she didn’t quite understand the words that she was saying.

“It’s just a tower,” You muttered, rolling your eyes as you turned your attention back to your phone in your hand again to scroll through your social media feeds, “It’s not a big deal.” You added, feeling a tiny bit guilty for upsetting the toddler.

Jordan exhaled a sigh and continued to cradle an upset Buddy in her arms as she turned her attention towards you to address the situation, “Hey, little one–”

“Don’t call me that!” You snapped at her, feeling so much hatred towards the woman in that very moment, “I’m not your little one anymore. You of all people don’t get to call me that!” 

Jordan’s face fell, the weight of your words hitting her like a punch to the gut. You watched her blink a few times, trying to process the sting of your outburst while still holding Buddy close.

“Okay,” The woman said quietly, her voice trembling slightly but still calm, “Look, I know you’re upset right now and I’m sorry li– Monkey, I am, but regardless of that, it’s not okay to upset Buddy like you did,” She told her, her tone gentle but still firm.

“Whatever, I don’t care,” You muttered, not having any interest in this conversation with Jordan at that moment, “You can’t tell me what to do either, you don’t get the right to do that anymore!”

“I know,” Jordan mumbled, exhaling a sigh as she knows that you’re really upset with her and she’s not going to push you to talk to her, “Right, Buddy. How about you come with me into the kitchen while Mama cooks dinner and that way we can give Monkey a bit of space, yeah?”

“Uh huh,” Buddy sniffled and nodded, her little face still wet with tears as she was reluctant to let go of Jordan anytime soon with her arms wrapped firmly around the older woman.

“Come on then,” Jordan murmured softly, standing up with the toddler in her arms as she casted one more glance in your direction, her expression a mixture of concern and sadness, “Take the time you need to calm down, Monkey. If you need me then we’ll be in the kitchen.” She added, before turning towards the kitchen.

“I won’t,” You stated coldly, although you couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt tugging at your chest, but you did your best to shove it down and turn your attention back to your phone.

Had you really meant to come across that horrible?

The frustration you felt was evident and you had to remember that Jordan left you, one of the people that used to be a constant source of comfort and support and now she was just gone, but it was her own fault for leaving when she did, so maybe she did deserve the resentment you were showing towards her after all.

You were even more reluctant to join them for dinner, even if pasta was your favourite dinner sometimes but you were too stubborn to give in.

You were somewhat glad that Jordan seemed to sense that you didn’t want to be bothered and didn’t start up another conversation with you, at least until it came time to put Buddy to bed later that night.

“I’m about to go and put Buddy to bed,” Jordan said after coming back through the living room with the toddler ready for bed in fresh pajamas and wet hair from the bath.

You did have to admit that it hurt a little bit when the toddler didn’t reach towards like she usually did, but you suppose that you were mean when you pushed her tower over.

“Okay, have fun with that,” You muttered, continuing to give her the cold shoulder.

Jordan adjusted Buddy in her arms, “Maybe after that, we could sit and watch a film? You still like Shrek, don’t you?” She offers, hoping to start an olive branch from that.

“Not in the mood,” You murmured, reluctant to look up your phone where you currently had previously been spamming Leah with gifs like you had promised, you were so gutted you weren’t old enough to be there in the club with everyone else and had to be stuck here instead with Jordan.

“For Shrek?” Jordan questioned, tilting her head to the side in shock, “Oh, I never thought I’d see the day. Alright, how about one of those Marvel films? I remember you used to absolutely love–”

“No,” You interjected, scowling at her menacingly, “I don’t want to watch a movie with you, and I don’t want to talk about the past either. You left, remember? That’s on you!”

“Oh, uh well then that’s alright,” Jordan stammered, lost for words in that current moment, “Um, I’m just gonna go and put Buddy to bed then.” She added, quick to escape to the safe haven of the toddlers’ bedroom and leave you to sulk in the living room.

You felt a pang of guilt but then you remembered that Jordan brought this on herself. She’s the one that left you, it wasn’t the other way around.

She deserves to be treated this way.

You weren’t left to stew in your thoughts for very long before Jordan wandered back through into the living room, you hoped that she might just leave you to it but you were sadly mistaken with that as she came to join you on the sofa as she grabbed a hold of the remote and turned the TV on to find something decent to watch.

You were fine enough to not have to speak to her while you just continued to sit there on your phone, you suppose you could have gone and sat in your bedroom but that just felt a bit lonely.

It was awkward though for the two of you just sat in a tense silence before Jordan was the first to start up a conversation, “Monkey,” The woman began to speak as she looked towards you, “Do you, uh, do you think we could talk?” She questioned, hesitantly.

Exhaling a deep sigh, you didn’t break eye contact from your phone at all, “I have nothin’ to say to you,” You murmured bluntly, continuing to scroll your Instagram stories. You had seen several private stories of the girls at Leah’s birthday party tonight and you can’t help but be envious that you couldn’t be there instead.

“Okay, well how about you just listen and I talk then instead?” Jordan suggested, wearily as she muted the TV show she’d stuck on, “Look, I know that things have been tough since I transferred to Aston Villa, but you have to understand I did it for the right reasons.”

“You left,” You sneered at her, cold and heartlessly.

Why couldn’t you be at Leah’s party instead of being stuck here in this current situation?

It wasn't fair!

Speaking of the blonde, she had sent you a delightful text that you somewhat made sense off right at the moment.

captain buzzkill 🙄🫡 Hi my cheeky monkeey! 🐒 I hoep you’re not causin any trouble for jord and pease don’t give her a hard time. she loves you so mcuh and I love you so mcuh. lots and lots like jelly tots my girl 💕💕 I’ll see you tomorrrow xxx

You couldn’t help but giggle at the state of her text message, it was very clear that she was very drunk already by the lack of words spelled correctly but it was nice then even when she was out partying and having a good time, she still thought about you and checked in to make sure you were okay throughout.

“What’s so funny?” Jordan questioned, curiously as she peered up from looking at her own phone.

“Nothin’ just something one of the girls sent me from college,” You lied to her, not wanting to tell her it was actually Leah.

Jordan hummed in agreement, “Oh right,” She paused, “Hey, do you uh, do you want to have a game of Fifa?” She suggested another attempt to try and make amends.

“No I’m good,” You were quick to agree.

“That’s okay,” Jordan replied, sounding disheartened.

You huffed and stood up from the sofa, “I don’t want to play video games, I don’t want to watch anything and I certainly don’t want to talk to you,” You told her bluntly, not giving her the chance to speak again, “I’m going to bed,” With that, you made your quick escape down the hallway to your bedroom that you had here.

Although you didn’t make a direct beeline for your bedroom, instead crept quietly inside the toddlers’ bedroom, “Buddy?” You whispered quietly, praying that she wasn’t already asleep.

“Monkey?” Buddy’s little head popped up from her cot with her dummy bobbing gently in her mouth as her eyes lit up when she saw you, before she reached her arms out.

A small smile tugged at your lips, a sense of relief washing over you that she still wanted you despite the way you had acted earlier, “Yeah, it’s just me,” You murmured softly, leaning over the bars of the cot to scoop her up gently. 

Making sure to grab Buddy’s blanket, you wrapped it around her to keep her warm, before sitting down with her in the rocking chair, “I wanted to say sorry for upsetting you earlier.”

“Ou’ were mean,” Buddy mumbled, her words muffled by her dummy still in her mouth as she nuzzled her head against your chest, “Ou’ broke the tower.”

“I’m sorry I did that,” You whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of her head as you felt the guilt of earlier weighing heavily, “That was really mean of me to do it and I didn’t mean to get so angry about things either.”

“Ou’ mean to Mama too,” Buddy said, her eyes peering up at you with quiet sadness, “Ou’ made Mama sad. Don’ like Mama sad.”

Your breath caught in your throat at her words, “I know,” You murmured softly, your fingers gently running through her soft curls, “It’s just… You wouldn’t really understand it, Buddy. It’s complicated.”

Buddy nuzzled closer, the rhythmic sound of your heartbeat soothing her, but words still echoed in your mind. You didn’t want to upset anyone, least of all your favourite little buddy, “I don’t want to ever upset you, Buddy. Do you forgive me?” You asked, your voice filled with hope.

“I forgive ‘ou, Monkey,” Buddy replied softly, her tiny arms wrapping around you in a forgiving embrace, “Ou’ have to be nice to Mama too!”

You couldn’t help but smile at her innocence, though her words stung a little, “Yeah, I’ll try, Bud,” You murmured, gently rocking her as you stared out into the dimly lit room, “Things are just a bit tricky at the minute for me to do that, but I’ll try.”

It was easier said than done and you know there’s still a long way to go before you are willing to accept the apology any time soon, but at least Buddy seemed satisfied enough with your answer as her little hand gripped your shirt and continued to rest her head against your chest.

“I love you, Buddy,” You whispered, pressing another soft kiss to the top of her head, “You’re the best little sister I could ever wish for.” 

The comfort of your embrace lulling Buddy to sleep in your arms, her breath slow and steady against you and for a moment, the weight of everything seemed to lift, feeling the connection that only you two shared.

What you didn’t realise was that Jordan had overheard the entire conversation through the baby monitor that you forgot was still in Buddy’s bedroom. Her heart melted at the tender conversation between you and Buddy, and although she understood that you were seriously upset with her, it left her with some hope that just maybe, things between you both would be okay eventually one day.

You hadn’t expected to wake up in a panic like you did, you felt as if your heart was racing and your breath was quickened. Looking around the dimly lit, unfamiliar room, your surroundings felt too large, too cold and you didn’t like it at all.

Disorientated, you threw your duvet off you as it felt like you needed to escape from it.

Of course you had another nightmare, typically, it was about both of your biological parents this time round. You guess your mum leaving you had been on your mind lately, overshadowing Jordan’s absence in your life now, it brought up a whole lot of unwanted feelings, all over again.

Making your way into the kitchen to pour yourself a glass of water, you succeed with that task until you take a misstep, tripping over one of Blu’s toys in the process and go flying, the glass falling out of your hands and smashing into pieces on the floor.

“Monkey?” Jordan’s voice spoke softly, appearing in the kitchen as her concern was evident, “It’s late. What’re you doin’ up at this time?”

Standing there frozen in the kitchen staring at the shattered glass on the floor until the woman’s voice broke you out of your trance, “Uh, I… I just wanted to grab a glass of water. I tripped over Blu’s toy and it fell out of my hands,” You admitted, looking around to spot the dustpan and brush, “I’ll clean it up now.”

Jordan shook her head in disagreement and was careful to not step directly in the glass, “Careful, you’ll get glass in your feet,” She told you, moving to grab the dustpan and brush out of the cupboard where it’s kept, “Stay there and let me sweep it up, okay? I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t… I didn’t mean to do that. I’m really sorry!” The tired state you were in overshadowed the anger you felt towards the older woman, immediately apologetic for what had happened due to past childhood trauma.

“Hey it’s okay, it’s just a glass,” Jordan reassured you, finishing sweeping up the broken glass and dumping it in the bin, “Do you want me to get you another drink?” She questioned, turning to look at you.

“No it’s okay, I… I’m just gonna go back to bed,” You murmured, shaking your head and turning in the direction to head back down the hallway to your bedroom without another word.

“Did you have a nightmare?” Jordan’s words made you snap your head back around and glare at her, “Was that the reason that you’re awake?”

“No,” You growled at her, not wanting to talk about things as you started to wake up  and were more aware of the conversation you were having with the woman.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Jordan offered you, evident concern in her voice.

“No, not with you I don’t,” You snapped, continuing to scowl at her, “You… You abandoned me as well when things got tough!”

Jordan frowned and shook her head, “Monkey, I haven’t abandoned you. I’m still here,” She paused, “I know it’s hard to understand that, but look, I’m still here, even if it might not seem like it right now.”

“Yes you did!” You shouted, pointing your index finger directly at her, “Yes you did!” You repeated.

“Hey, please keep your voice down,” Jordan reminded you, her tone gentle but still firm, “Buddy’s asleep, remember? I don’t want you waking her up.”

You couldn’t help scoffing and rolling your eyes, “Oh of course you only care about that.”

“I care about you too, little one–” Jordan began to tell you.

“You don’t get to call me that anymore, you left me!” You interjected, your voice a bit louder than you realised it was.

“I’m still here, Monkey,” Jordan murmured, trying to get through to you.

“No you’re not!” You exclaimed, shaking your head in disagreement, “You left, you’re just… you’re just like them!”

“Monkey–” Jordan began to speak in a calm tone of voice.

“Mama,” The conversation was broken up by Buddy waking up, making her upset well known.

Jordan exhaled a sigh, “I’m going to take care of Buddy and try to get her back to sleep,” She paused, running her hands through her hair, “Try and get some sleep, kid. Just know I’ll always be here for you,” With that, she walked past you to head into Buddy’s room and you are once again left feeling bad for waking up your favourite little buddy.

Could you really ever forgive her for just abandoning you in the way she did?

Right now, it really didn’t seem possible for that to happen at all, but maybe time will tell eventually.

© scribblesofagoonerr

[jaegeraether]

Sunsets and footballers (Part 14)

Lucy Bronze x Reader (14)

Masterlist (other parts here)

(**Been waiting a while to introduce this new character... **)

Lucy was gripping the bridge of her nose between her forefinger and thumb, her eyes closed, jaw twitching. Katie reached across the table to touch her but stopped at YFN shaking her head. “No,” she said gently. “Just… give her some time to process.”

Katie began looking around for the stalker.

“What are you going to do?” Jordan asked, her eyes also wandering. They all knew they were safe together.

“Well it says they want to see me within 48 hours.. so I’ll prepare tonight and go in tomorrow. I’ll give them all my information and explain. I have proof of them stalking me and I’ve done nothing wrong.. it’s not like I’m from a threatening country. Australia is part of the Commonwealth so everything should be okay..”

Lucy stood and left, scanning around for the stalkers as she waded through the crowded area, though always keeping YFN in sight.

“What time are you leaving?” YFN asked Jordan.

“Tomorrow morning. I’m giving myself a day for the drive and to settle back in before training starts again. When are you coming?”

YFN looked around to see Lucy talking to someone who looked like a Manager. “I’m not sure.. Luce is here for another week but I think she wants to see her family in Manchester.. so maybe we’ll be staying there for a few days and then with you for a few before she leaves?”

“Sounds right, I think Luce wants to get you settled in with me before she goes.” Jordan cringed as realised what she’d said and gave a sheepish look to YFN who rolled her eyes. Of course Lucy spoken to Jordan about staying with her in Birmingham. She looked over at Lucy who was heading back to them, her heart melting even more.

“If you’re still hanging around with your Visa thing, you should come watch us train,” Caitlin said.

“Plus, aren’t you a writer?” Katie asked. “They’re always lookin’ fer writers for sports columns but they can never find good ones. They’re always so borin’ and invasive so none of the players want ta open up to them. But we all already know you..”

Lucy sat back down as YFN mulled it over. “Sports column?” Lucy asked gruffly.

“Just an idea.” Katie shrugged. “It’d be great to do interviews where we know the person and know they aren’t going ta just make up a story. We always have to be so careful with the media trainin’ and such.”

“It’s… it’s a really good idea. I love it, actually. It would be great if it were across all of the leagues..” Her pinky reached out for Lucy, testing the waters, and Lucy hooked her pinky around it. Their little way of communicating.

“I think they’d want you to cover as much as possible." Caitlin said. “Especially if lots of players know you. I’ll send you the details of the company. They just can’t find anyone to cover one league let alone all of them. It’ll be a lot of work but if you’re keen..”

YFN nodded. “I’ll be interested but… maybe don’t send me anything yet. My Visa… I’m not allowed to work. And tomorrow I guarantee they’ll go through my phone and messages with a fine-toothed-comb so if it all goes well then I’ll ask them about the possibility of changing to a working visa… and also having to travel across Europe and what those entry requirements are.”

“Okay… we may already have chatted to the company…”

“What?!”

“It’s okay! It’s nothing official, we didn’t give them your name, we just told them about you and that you used to write a column and that you’re here now and have made a lot of friends with the players..”

“Wow, is it really that bad for you guys with media?”

They all nodded.

“The amount of media training we’ve been through is ridiculous.” Jordan said. “And then we stress about what parts they’re going to use and what they’re going to cut! So if we have someone we can trust then it takes all of that stress away.”

“Okay…. Okay.. I’ll think about it and see how tomorrow goes. If they barely agree to accept my current Visa though, I won’t ask them..”

“That’s fair enough, it was just an idea,” Jordan shrugged and YFN chuckled at that. “Wait.. you’ve all spoken about this?” She thought it was just Katie and Caitlin.

“Of course mate!” She slapped a hand to her shoulder. “We don’t want you going anywhere.”

YFN’s heart filled just a little more as she smiled at her friend. “Birmingham is going to be so much fun.”

“Ohhh yes.” She leant around YFN to look at Lucy. “Any news?”

Lucy shook her head. “No one saw them and they’re not here now. I want us to get out of here though.” She looked at YFN, her protective green eyes locking with hers from behind her clear framed glasses. “I want us to get you out of that hotel, and I don’t want us to be in public longer than we have to.”

“Yeah we’re goin’ ta leave ya’s to it. I’m feeling weird just waitin’ for someone to put a bag over my head.” Katie pushed her sunglasses back up her nose, looking around like she wanted a fight.

“I can help you pack if you need?” Jordan suggested.

“Oh yeah, Dory! You can come over if you want? I’d love to spend some time with you before you leave tomorrow..” YFN looked over her shoulder at Lucy who nodded at her friend, looking a little on edge. “It’s settled. Come with us.” YFN smiled and took Jordan’s hand.

They said their goodbyes and hugged. YFN again thanked Katie and Caitlin for last night, checking that Katie’s hand was okay after trying to break the window of the car. They had a good giggle at that. She promised to get back to them about the strangely vague position of interviewing players, and they both again showed their enthusiasm.

Lucy practically bodyguarded YFN the entire way to the car where YFN encouraged Jordan to sit in the front. She sat behind Lucy who had one of her arms behind her, fingers tangled with YFN’s. She liked needy Lucy. She liked all of the Lucy’s to be honest.

They went to YFN’s hotel and Lucy spoke to the staff to check her out early while Jordan and YFN packed. Somehow, Lucy was able to get her a refund for the nights she didn’t stay, and then they were in Lucy’s car and headed to her London home.

YFN felt strange unpacking. She was technically moving in with her partner… whom she hadn’t known for long.. who also lived in Spain. She felt a little like she was pushing herself onto Lucy too fast, but at the same time, all of it was at Lucy's request. Her insistence. And, it had been one of her three demands.

Jordan and YFN spent time together unpacking, researching and bantering while Lucy was on the phone, pacing. She was talking to lawyers, discussing Visa’s and restraining orders. She was frustrated but would pause past YFN often to touch her, give her a kiss wherever she could reach, or just wave from the patio. She didn’t like the idea that she was putting so much extra stress on Lucy when she should have been resting and recovering her knee, but she also knew that this was Lucy’s choice. She was so sexy the way she took care of things. YFN watched her pace the patio, talking on the phone with her AirPods and expressing so much with her hands, the artery in her neck becoming more prominent when she got more frustrated demanding things. The efforts that woman was going through just to keep her safe and in the country was more than anyone had ever done for her in her life.

She spoke to Jordan about Leah who’d dropped the drunk trio home last night, and who’d apparently dropped Jordan home last.

Jordan sighed. “Leah tried talking to me.. she asked how I was doing and how things are at Villa but I just wasn’t in a state to talk. I couldn’t get out of my head the idea of people following you and Luce…”

“So you pretty much blew her off..?”

“Yeah.. pretty much. I didn’t have the capacity to talk. She left me. She didn’t even give me a reason, she just said that she changed and I hadn’t and… and she left. I tried to talk to her, you know I tried, but in the end I left my club for her. The club I spent most of my career at.” She was getting teary eyed and YFN moved next to her and wrapped her arms around her. Jordan leaned into her and sobbed a little.

“You still love her,” YFN said softly. Jordan nodded against her. “Oh Dory..”

She leant over to get some tissues and blew into them. “I can’t just let her back into my life after that. She… she can’t just do that. I don’t even know if she misses me as a friend or as a girlfriend but she lost both.”

“I… I think it’s both.”

Jordan lifted her head to look at her. She continued. “The way she looked at you and spoke about you when you weren’t watching.. especially with that girl at the bar. And she thought we were together…”

She could see the thoughts running behind Jordan’s eyes before she shook her head. “No, she doesn’t get that from me anymore. She did this. She made this mess.”

“She did, she absolutely did. Let’s just bench it for now and take it as it comes, okay? I’m right here for whatever you need.”

“I’m so happy you’re coming to Birmingham,” Jordan said with a tremble in her voice.

“Me too, mate. Me too. We’re going to have so much fun!”

Jordan’s mood picked up as they changed topics and kept researching. They found a lot of good news and information that had them positive about the outcome the next day.

“Oh this looks promising,” Jordan said. “It’s talking about a character reference who’s known you for at least ten years? Not related to you though..”

YFN laughed. “Ohh I have just the person.” She took her phone out and scrolled through her contacts. “Ridley. We grew up together.”

“I thought you didn’t have a best, best friend?”

“She’s basically family and… an acquired taste.” She laughed again. “God, I love her. We go through periods of not talking for 6 months and then talking every day, but that’s just us. She’s the closest person I have from Australia besides my nan. She actually works in Spain, it was one of the reasons I was going to visit, to see her!”

She called her up and a drunk Ridley answered, music blasting in the background. “Hey baby Blue, what’s doing?”

“Hey Riddles, you busy?”

“Nah, never too busy for you. When are you coming to Greece?”

“Are you still partying?”

“You know it baby! Way too many hot Europeans here.” She started talking to someone near her. ‘In a minute, love, just get us some more drinks.’

YFN laughed. “I can call back…”

“Bullshit, they can wait. What’s up?” She changed to Facetime, and it was exactly what it sounded like. Some sort of party at night in Greece, people crowded around. She had a bottle in one hand and some colour sunglasses on which she look like she stole, covered in several beaded and glow in the dark necklaces.

“Having a good night?”

“You know me mate - always.” She said with a grin as someone bumped into her. ‘Watch it!’ She yelled at them.

 ‘Doesn’t cost anything to be kind!’

‘Costs me my fucking sanity, move your big ass feet away from me.’

She turned back to the phone and took the cap off the bottle with her teeth, spitting it and taking a swig. “I’m just about to throw hands, Blue, I swear.”

YFN and Jordan laughed. “Blue?” Jordan asked.

Before YFN could answer, Ridley noticed her and got closer to the screen with a smirk. “Oh, hey there Jordan Nobbs, you’re looking sexy tonight.”

YFN groaned. “She flirts with everyone, don't be surprised.”

Jordan laughed and answered politely. “Hey mate, nice to meet you! Where was our invite?”

“Oh baby, you’re free to join me aaanytime.”

Jordan’s mouth dropped and YFN groaned, knowing this would happen. “Anyways! Riddles, you know the stalker issue?”

“Oh yeah, you need me to come sort them out?”

“Oh, Lucy’s all over that. No, they put a complaint in about my Visa so I’m headed to the embassy tomorrow. I need a character reference who’s known me at least ten years-”

“-say no more, baby Blue, I’ve got you.” The girl reappeared and was grabbing at Ridley’s face, kissing her cheek. Ridley pulled away, her attention still on her close friend.

“…Yes… but will you be awake tomorrow around 10am your time?”

She hummed and then agreed to set her alarm. Anyone who didn’t know her would think she wasn’t reliable for this, but she knew Ridley and knew she could trust her with anything, anytime. She was incredibly loyal, and the distance between Spain and Australia had meant they’d spoken less which wasn’t what she’d ever wanted with their relationship. But regardless, they were always the type of friends who could call each other up after 6 months and everything was the exact same between them.

Ridley was still flirting with Jordan when the girl from earlier again tried to drag her off the call. Jordan was flirting back, enjoying the attention and YFN made sure to end the call before she saw the girl’s tongue down her throat.

“An acquired taste, I told you. She’s one of my favourite people though. She’s basically family to me.” She laughed.

YFN and Jordan made them dinner while Lucy was still off and on the phone. They ate and then Lucy took Jordan home with hugs and promises that they’d see each other soon in Birmingham. YFN ‘requested’ a shirt with Jordan’s name and number on it. She wanted to wear it to her first Villa game. Jordan was excited that she wanted to wear her shirt, and promised to sign it for her.

Lucy returned to the dishes done, and a squeaky clean YFN who was ready for bed. She looked tired and threw her AirPods and phone onto the couch before taking YFN in her arms. She was so warm and soft and felt like… home. Home had never been place to Lucy. It had always been either her family or wherever she made it with a club. She and YFN hadn’t known each other long but the best way to describe their relationship was that she’d always felt like home to Lucy. For the first time in her life, home felt like a person. The thought of Spain in the back of her mind was a dark thought that she tried to keep back there. She groaned and hugged her little Australian tighter.

“Luce?” She said softly. Lucy pulled back and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Thank you for today. Thank you for looking after me… I know it’s been a lot to deal with.”

Lucy’s eyebrows furrowed. “This is all on me, all this happening has been because of me and I’m so sorry. You shouldn’t have to deal with any of this. I just….” She paused as she tried to keep her emotions together. “… I really don’t want to lose you.” Her voice was husky as her emotions seeped through.

YFN took her face in her hands. “Luce, I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me, as long as you want me. I need you to know that.”

She was right, Lucy did need those words. A tear slipped out and YFN wiped it away from under her glasses.

“I still want our dates though, regardless of what happens. I’ve planned one for us tomorrow after the… you know. And then the next date-”

“-is all me.” Lucy cut off. “I’ll plan the third.”

“Okay.. but I need to talk to you about… amending one of the deals we made.”

Lucy’s head tilted in question.

“We’re not sure what’s going to happen. We’re not sure what tomorrow will bring. I want to spend every night with you like it’s our last because we deserve that. Regardless of if I’m sent away tomorrow, or in a week, or when you go to Spain…”

As if to prove her point, she pulled Lucy closer, walking backwards until her back was against the wall, Lucy pressed up against her. Lucy couldn’t resist leaning down to kiss her. It was soft and gentle, full of emotion. YFN’s hand found its way to the back of her head and tucked itself into the strands of dark brown hair, using that as leverage to be able to tilt her head and control the kiss a little. They let themselves enjoy it until they could feel each other getting excited, their bodies beginning to move like they wanted more. Lucy pulled back unwillingly, their mouths still close.

“Little one, are you asking me for sex?” She couldn’t help the soft chuckle building up in her throat.

YFN looked up at Lucy a little guilty, her lips pressed together, dimple on full display. “I want all of you. I don’t want to have to wait.”

“Are you… okay after last night?”

She nodded. “That’s part of it, I think. I feel like I lost control of myself at the bar, and I just need… I need to feel like I’m in control of my body again. This is my life, these are my choices, and no one can take them away. And I’ll always choose you..”

Her palms were flat on Lucy’s abs, her body shaking as she rocked, feeling the strap slide in and out with a silky wetness that only Lucy could make her body produce. Lucy’s hands were on her hips, guiding her as she fucked herself while Lucy looked up at her like she was Aphrodite herself. YFN leant forward over Lucy and started taking the strap that way, moaning at the different angle, the wet fucking sound changing notes. Lucy was caught by surprise at the new angle she took so deep and needily. Her rhythm was so ruthless and the new position felt so good on her clit that Lucy knew she’d orgasm soon. Her hands tightened on her hips, her own hips thrusting up to meet hers. Lucy’s back arched and her head bowed back.

“Oh…ffffuck. That’s th…the spot. Fuck. I can’t… I can’t keep.. God I’m going to come.”

This only encouraged YFN who’s pace increased slightly, her hands either side of her head, looking down at her whimpering Lucy. She took her right to the edge, knowing just how well the strap was riding her clit and just before she came, she sat back upright and changed her approach. Lucy came back to life, whimpering at the orgasm she was just denied.

“Little one… I… I was…”

“I know,” YFN panted, her hands again on Lucy’s abs as she rode her. “I know.. just let me get a little closer first and we can finish it together, Luce… argh… just…fuck…just give me a minute. It’ll feel so much better n…now that you’re frustrated.”

Lucy’s hands on her hips encouraged her some more, almost fully picking her up and slamming her back down again. Her hips eagerly thrusted upwards, as deep as she could go. Her little Australian was riding her so well and god, she was a sight. Hair down and well messed by Lucy’s hands during their sex, mouth still wet from the taste of Lucy, her lips swollen and bruised. Her tits were bouncing and excited, nipples out and well sucked. Lucy pulled herself up and grabbed a nipple in her mouth, eagerly sucking the sensitive bud. YFN whimpered and grabbed her hair, holding her head to her tit while she sucked. And god, she sucked. And licked. And nibbled. When she was finished with the first, she moved onto the second and when YFN couldn’t bare it any longer, she pulled Lucy’s head back, making her groan in annoyance as her lips were forced to part with her nipple with a wet popping sound. YFN’s mouth found Lucy’s jaw and with one hand in her hair, she pulled back to give her access to that sharp jawline and strong neck. She nibbled and kissed along those areas that took up so much of her daily thoughts all the while continuously riding her in desperation and need. She knew Lucy wasn’t used to being in a situation like this, but her Englishwoman was taking it so well. Her hands moved from her hips to slide up YFN’s back, pressing her close as she moaned at the feel of her mouth on her throat. Their panting and moaning and swearing were filling the room along with the humidity from their sweaty bodies sliding against each other.

It was taking YFN a little longer than usual being her fifth orgasm of the night, but god, she was getting there. Her rhythm increased to more of a bounce, encouraged by Lucy’s thrusts upwards meeting hers.

“Fuck, you’re doing so well. You look so good, my love.” YFN pulled her mouth away from her neck and looked down at Lucy with hooded eyes. It’s the first time Lucy had ever called her that. She pushed Lucy onto her back again and pressed her hands into her tense abs to help her slide up and down the strap with a depth that she just couldn’t get any other way. The sound of fucking resonated the room, drowned out by their gasps and moans and whimpers. She could feel her wet excitement dripping down the insides of her thighs and undoubtably coating Lucy also. As she was about to come, she leant forwards again to her previous position, hands either side of Lucy’s head and she rode her until Lucy was so wound up that she couldn’t breath.

“Fuck….fuck…fuck…little one…y…yes… oh God….” Lucy had never not been in control of her orgasm and she didn’t realise, but it just made it so much more intense.

YFN leant down and swallowed her moans with her mouth, their tongues meeting. “Come with me, Luce…. Come… come with me…”

They came so hard and tight that they could barely move. A cry ripped from Lucy’s throat and YFN could barely continue to ride the strap as she was so clenched around it. Lucy shoved her up and down on it, needing that bit of friction on her clit to drag out her orgasm, knowing that YFN needed the same. They rocked until they came down, their movements slowing and relaxing.

YFN wasn’t an athlete like Lucy, but she’d just put in a hell of a workout. Her body was tingly and drained from her fifth orgasm, and she just wanted Lucy to hold her and kiss her to sleep. She managed to lift herself up off the strap and Lucy unharnessed, throwing it to the floor and pulling YFN down onto her. YFN laid her full body weight on her, head in her neck.

“You did so good, little one. So, so good.”

“I… I really like you Luce. My body just wants you again and again and it scares me how much I want you. Not just sex… I want you. All of you. Grumpy, happy, protective... sleepy.” She admitted huskily with a yawn into Lucy’s neck, and Lucy wondered if she were sleep talking.

Lucy hummed happily, her fingers tracing up and down her spine, finding those little back dimples at the bottom. “However much you want me, just know, I want you more. I’ll always keep you safe. I’ll always be right here.”

She knew she was speaking to herself as YFN was already asleep, her breathing had changed and her body was fully relaxed onto her. She pressed a kiss to her forehead and was similarly out like a light.

[lee-em-dee]

A Sequence Analysis of the 6x13 Bellarke Reunion

[a.k.a. the final scene of The 100 because Jroth can Jrot in hell]

After a grim conversation between Bellamy and Jordan, the sequence transitions to a warmly lit, wide angle perspective of the reunion at Sanctum. Friends and lovers “meet again,” hugging, kissing, reconciling in a series of action shots: Miller & Jackson, Murphy/Emori & Raven, Jackson & Echo. The sound of their laughter cuts through the uplifting strains of the melody playing [GAITS “Other Side”]. Against the show’s constant onslaught of death and destruction, the beauty in these brief flashes of joy isn’t lost on us; it’s fleeting, but it’s potent. We’re back at the gates of Arkadia in 2x16, only this time around, prospects for the future aren’t quite so bleak, nor is it “getting dark, too dark to see” beneath “that cold black cloud [coming] around” [RAIGN “Knocking on Heaven’s Door”].

Instead, the refrain “I know I’ll see you on the other side” embodies a sense of hope and certainty while also referencing Jasper’s parting words in S4. Unlike his nihilistic outlook, however, the soft, inviting quality of these opening shots seems to suggest that there’s light at the end of the tunnel—a glimpse at the other side of heaven’s door, where peace prevails and war is a distant memory.

As this undertone of cautious optimism resonates, the frame is swallowed up by a dark mass of faceless bodies. The music slows, the crowd parts, and exposed in the center of the frame is Clarke Griffin—a solitary, motionless figure within a stream of movement. Her silent presence isolates her from the liveliness of her surroundings. From the side angle of the camera in the shadowy foreground only her profile is visible, yet the expression on her face is noticeably stunned. We’re left with a sense of anticipation. Where is her gaze focused? What commands her attention so fiercely, stopping her in her tracks and arresting her movements? The anticipation builds, and, with it, the percussive intensity of the music. Soft vocalizations trail after “the other side,” echoing in our ears as we --

Cut to a reverse shot of Bellamy. He makes his way to his people, but it’s clear that the words exchanged with a disillusioned Jordan weigh on him. His eyes are fixed on the ground, brows furrowed, a pensive expression reflecting his weary frame of mind. It’s the aftermath of yet another battle, another spoke on a wheel that spins and spins, unleashing more devastation with each turn. We, as the audience, can only hope that this is the end of its vicious cycle. He’s lost in thought, but a glance ahead has his eyes snagging on something out of shot. No, someone. Bellamy’s steps falter for a beat, then his eyes widen a fraction. He’s mesmerized.

On the receiving end of his gaze, Clarke sharply exhales. The steady pulsing of the music stutters before the rhythm picks up in rapid sixteenth notes, akin to a heartbeat that skips, flutters, then pounds. Energy thrums in the single look that they share; everything else seems to melt away as they fixate on each other, as the tether that binds them together tugs, as the distance between twin souls is bridged.

We’re hit with the crescendo of the music, punctuated by the sustained beat of the drums. It’s booming. A fluid tracking shot follows Clarke as she launches herself away from the crowd into Bellamy’s open arms, and the force of their collision is shown through their synchronized exhalations of breath, through the swaying movement of their bodies pressed tightly together. Like cymbals crashing, they meet in the middle of the frame. The blocking instantly establishes a bubble of intimacy around them that blocks out the rest of the world as they completely obscure the figures (“girlfriend”) in the background. Refracted light slices across the screen at an angle, tracing the points of contact between these two people who radiate warmth and ignite under a single touch.

The music swells. Their embrace is set to the bridge “oh wait for me in fields of gold,” and as they hold each other, lost to a symphony of grief and elation, we get the sense that in each other’s arms these two broken beings are very much found. It’s a homecoming.

Clarke burrows her face into Bellamy’s neck. The sun beaming in the background sends scattered light over his shoulder, captured as flare in the camera lens. Not only does this element add a layer of visual impact and aesthetic beauty to the shot, but it also intensifies the climactic moment when their bodies collide. Tension is built and built until it finally snaps; in doing so, emotional catharsis (for both the characters and for the audience) is maximized. The combination of the lens flare and camera movements makes for a striking, visually dynamic shot with epic romantic overtones. In their reunion a sense of rightness is restored, which has remained a consistent theme of the show for six seasons. When the camera finally settles, what’s captured is the sheer magnetism of the moment. Nearby murmured conversations are unable to overtake the melody, and the bustling movements of the crowd are unable to break that hypnotic hold they have on each other.

Clarke clings to Bellamy; now, more than ever, it’s evident that her love for him is a refuge, her strength in times of weakness. Even so, sorrow threatens to overtake the solace found in his embrace; Bellamy immediately senses this, rubs a soothing pattern across her back. With brows drawn, he nestles his face against her shoulder as if to will her pain away.

We cut to a dynamic two shot, with Bellamy occupying the left side of the frame and Clarke the right. Both seem reluctant to part, and as they do, harsh realities set in. Bellamy delivers the sobering line, “I heard about Abby.” Like a death knell, its implications land on Clarke and reverberate through this gentle, short-lived moment of peace. Her face crumples. With a despondent shake of her head, she manages, “I tried to do better. I did.” Bellamy can only nod. His strained expression conveys how the mere sight of Clarke’s pain is excruciating to him. A sharp intake of breath from her—“And then I lost my mom.” The tremor in her voice betrays her composure; the words catch in her throat, imparting a strangled quality to the line.

Her mother’s death clings to her. It’s reflected in her head-to-toe black attire, in the misery painted on her face. The weight of impossible decisions looms (how tragic that her mother’s endangerment was what drove her to pull the lever back in Mount Weather), and it seems that, this time around, the burden is too heavy to carry alone. “Tell me it was worth it,” she pleads to Bellamy, barely choking the words out as she battles tears. “Tell—tell me it was worth it.” In deep anguish Bellamy watches Clarke unravel before his eyes. With gentle words he tries to piece her back together. “Hey—Hey, we did. We did do better.”

This entire verbal exchange is filmed as a continuous arc shot that swings back and forth on an axis (Bellamy -> Clarke / Clarke -> Bellamy) with the sun acting as the focal point between them. The shot—much like their soul-deep connection—remains unbroken and uninterrupted. Rather than keeping a fixed, static position, the camera’s movements allow us to feel the push-pull emotional tension of the scene. It orbits Bellamy and Clarke in a way that cinematically mirrors the gravitational pull they feel towards each other. For years and years, the two have danced around each other. Though distance and time separated them, they’ve always been inextricably tied together in common orbit. Like binary stars, Bellamy and Clarke orient themselves around a shared barycenter. Their center of gravity—the sun flaring at the center of the frame—coincides with the show’s key thematic elements: forgiveness, rebirth, redemption. The rising of the sun marks the start of a new day and, with it, another chance to do better.

With each dizzying motion of the camera, flashes of light shine between their silhouettes, obscured only to re-emerge seconds later as lens flare; The sequence, as a whole, is a study in subtle contrasts: the contrast between the white sun in the background, the light glinting off the water, the pale gold of the sky + of Clarke’s hair vs Bellamy and Clarke’s shadowy figures captured in low-exposure, the darkness of their clothing, Bellamy’s black hair. This balance of light and shadows/brightness and darkness mirrors the tenuous balance between hope and despair driving the scene. In parallel, the despair that consumes Clarke is a darkness balanced out by Bellamy, who maintains a more optimistic outlook for the future and serves as her guiding light.

[Additional Note: These cinematic contrasts are also a perfect illustration of the concept of yin and yang—the cosmic duality that reflects Bellamy and Clarke’s “head and heart” relationship. The two are equal, seemingly opposing forces but, in actuality, function in such a way that enforces their complementary and interdependent nature: One cannot exist without the other, and both are connected as two halves of a whole in perfect equilibrium. Yin and yang—the head and the heart—do not act as isolated parts, but rather continuously influence and interact with each other to bring forth balance and harmony.]

Hope.

In spite of everything, it shows its presence in the vibrant yellow tones of a scene filmed at golden hour; the honeyed glow creates a dreamy, inviting atmosphere, giving off a quality of softness and romanticism that balances out the heaviness of their conversation. Hope echoes in the melody as it conveys the inevitability of reuniting with a loved one in this life or the next: “It’s not the end. It’s all I know…I know I’ll see you, I know I’ll see you on the other side.” (In other words, we will meet again). Hope is felt through the warmth of two lovers embracing, the warmth of the rising sun on their faces.

As we cut to a final close-up shot of Bellamy, he delivers the last line of the scene with resolve: “I have to believe that that matters,” he murmurs softly, brows knit in concern. His eyes search Clarke’s, but her teary gaze is cast low as she chokes down a sob. Her close-up shot captures the internal conflict taking place:

 It’s a mental battle—grappling with the urge to fall apart or to suppress the vortex of raw emotion churning inside her. Bleary-eyed, she turns away from Bellamy as if every instinct screams at her to flee, to bear the burden alone. Still, an unspoken conversation anchors her to the spot: “Together.” “I got you for that.” “I need you.” “If I’m on that list, you’re on that list.” “The heart and the head.” “You don’t have to do this alone.” Though devastation lines her face, the morning sunrise bathes her skin in light. Clarke draws a shaky breath. She turns back to Bellamy, then nods: a decision has been made. The camera switches from this close-up of Clarke to a hazy, low exposure medium shot as she leans into Bellamy, drawing strength from him (notice its resemblance to Miller and Jackson’s reunion). They wrap their arms around each other, and their bodies meld together. Clarke tucks her chin onto Bellamy’s shoulder. The immediate relief that she’s flooded with is palpable. She closes her eyes and sighs, and Bellamy rubs her back consolingly. The visual of their merging silhouettes—reminiscent of two suns eclipsing just above the horizon line—composes the final frame of the scene before the shot dissolves with a last “I know I’ll see you on the other side.”

There’s a true sense of finality to this closing shot which sets it apart from others before it—or, rather, establishes it as a culmination of every moment in Bellamy and Clarke’s “exhausting” history to get to this state of perfect alignment. The hug, in particular, serves as a departure from previous seasons’ hug scenes in which an interruption was often required to progress the conflict and reestablish some semblance of distance between the two of them.

In this season, however, though death and distance and other outside forces conspired to separate Bellamy and Clarke...they, against all odds, end it with bodies intertwined, defenses stripped away, never more unified both physically and emotionally: the heart and the head joined together in perfect equilibrium. Two bodies, two souls breathing, moving, thinking, and working as one.

[southernsolarpunk]

Hey check this out

I was making a zine (solarpunk ofc) and decided to use a bunch of old National Geographic magazines to cut up and use in a scrappy diy scrapbook fashion and of course I started reading them. This one in particular:

It caught my eye because it’s from September 1980 & talks about the Middle East. My brain wonders if they mention Palestine and they do! I copied the text for accessibility, but I put pictures at the end of the original pages.

“Jerusalem: reunited or occupied? The question has divided the city's 400,000 Jews and 100,000 Arabs since Israel annexed East Jerusalem in 1967.

BEIRUT, JANUARY 1975. Armed soldiers lead me through labyrinthine back streets, up a dark stairway to a midnight rendez-vous. Only a bare bulb lights the temporary command post; Yasir Arafat, chairman of the Palestine Liberation Organization, seldom dares spend two days in the same place. “Our argument is not with the Jews” He tells me. "We are both Semites. They have lived with us for centuries. Our enemies are the Zionist colonizers and their backers who insist Palestine belongs to them exclusively.

We Arabs claim deep roots there too."

Two decades ago Palestinians were to be found in United Nations Relief Agency camps at places like Gaza and Jericho, in a forlorn and pitiable state. While Palestinian spokesmen pressed their case in world cap-itals, the loudest voice the world heard was that of terrorists, with whom the word Palestinian came to be associated. Jordan fought a war to curb them. The disintegration of Lebanon was due in part to the thousands of refugees within its borders.

Prospects for peace brightened, however, when President Anwar Sadat of Egypt, most powerful of the Arab countries, made his historic trip to Israel in November 1977. A year later Sadat and Israeli Prime Minister Menachem Begin signed the Camp David accords, a framework for the return of the occupied Sinai Peninsula to Egypt.

The former enemies established diplomatic relations and opened mail, telephone, and airline communications.

The Camp David accords also addressed the all-important Palestinian question but left it vague. Sadat insists that any lasting peace depends on an eventual Palestinian homeland in the Israeli-occupied West Bank and Gaza. Israel agrees to limited autonomy for those regions, but, fearful of a new and hostile Palestinian state suddenly planted on its borders, insists that Israeli troops must maintain security there.

Crowded Rashidiyah refugee camp, set among orange groves south of the ancient Phoenician port of Tyre in Lebanon, lies on the front lines. Frequent pounding by Israeli military jets and warships seeking PLO targets has war-hardened its population, some 13,700 Palestinians.

At the schoolyard I watched a solemn flag raising. Uniformed ashbal, or lion cubs, stood rigid as color guards briskly ran up the green-white-and-black Palestinian flag.

Ranging in age from 8 to 12, they might have been Cub Scouts— except for the loaded rifles they held at present arms. Behind them stood two rows of girls, zaharat, or little flowers. Same age, same weapons.

Over lunch of flat bread, hummus, yo-gurt, and chicken I commented to my hosts, a group of combat-ready fedayeen, that 30 years of bitter war had settled nothing nor gained the Palestinians one inch of their homeland. Was there no peaceful way to press their cause?

"Yes, and we are doing it. Finally, after 30 years, most countries in the United Nations recognize that we too have rights in Palestine. But we feel that until your country stops its unconditional aid to Israel, we have two choices: to fight, or to face an unmarked grave in exile."

AFTER CROSSING the Allenby Bridge from Amman, I drove across the fertile Jordan Valley through Arab Jericho and past some of the controversial new Jewish settlements: Mitzpe Jericho, Tomer, Maale Adumim, Shilat. Then as I climbed through the steep stony hills to Jerusalem, I saw that it too had changed. A ring of high-rise apartments and offices was growing inexorably around the occupied Arab side of the walled town. Within the wall, too, scores of Arab houses had been leveled during extensive reconstruction.

"Already 64 settlements have been built on the West Bank," said a Christian Palestinian agriculturist working for an American church group in Jerusalem. "And another 10 are planned," he said. Unfolding a copy of the master plan prepared in 1978 by the World Zionist Organization, he read: "Real-izing our right to Eretz-Israel... with or without peace, we will have to learn to live with the minorities...

The Israeli Government has reaffirmed the policy. In Prime Minister Menachem Begin's words: "Settlement is an inherent and inalienable right. It is an integral part of our national security."

"Security" is a word deeply etched into the Israeli psyche. The country has lived for 30 years as an armed camp, always on guard against PLO raids and terrorist bombings.

Whenever such incidents occur, the response is quick: even greater retaliation.

In Jerusalem I met with David Eppel, an English-language broadcaster for the Voice of Israel. "We must continue to build this country. Israel is our lawful home, our des-tiny. We have the determination, and an immense pool of talent, to see it through." His cosmopolitan friends a city plan-ner, a psychology professor, an author gathered for coffee and conversation at David's modern apartment on Jerusalem's Leib Yaffe Road.

Amia Lieblich's book, Tin Soldiers on Jerusalem Beach, studies the debilitating effects almost constant war has had on life in the Jewish state, a nation still surrounded by enemies. As she and her husband kindly drove me to my hotel in Arab Jerusalem afterward, some of that national apprehension surfaced in the writer herself.

"We don't often come over to this part of town," she said. "Especially at night."

I DROVE OUT of the Old City in the dark of morning and arrived a few hours later at the nearly finished Israeli frontier post, whence a shuttle bus bounced me through no-man's-land to the Egyptian ter-minal. As a result of the Egyptian-Israeli treaty, it was possible for the first time since 1948 to travel overland from Jerusalem to Cairo. An Egyptian customs man opened my bags on a card table set up in the sand. I took a battered taxi into nearby El Arish, to a sleepy bank that took 45 minutes to convert dollars into Egyptian pounds, Then 1 hired a Mercedes for the

200-mile run across the northern Sinai des-ert, the Suez Canal, and the Nile Delta. By sundown Cairo was mine.

Despite official government optimism, I found many in Cairo worried that President Sadat's bold diplomatic gestures might fail.

The city was noticeably tense as Israel officially opened its new embassy on Mohi el-Din Abu el-Ez Street in Cairo's Dukki quarter. Black-uniformed Egyptian troops guarded the chancery and nearby intersections as the Star of David flew for the first time in an Arab capital. Across town, police with fixed bayonets were posted every ten feet around the American Embassy. Others were posted at the TV station and the larger hotels. Protests were scattered, mostly peaceful. None disturbed the cadence of the city.

Welcoming ever larger delegations of tourists and businessmen from Europe and the U.S., Cairo was busier than ever-and more crowded. Despite a building boom, many Egyptians migrating from the countryside, perhaps 10,000 a month, still find housing only by squatting among tombs at the City of the Dead, the huge old cemetery on the southeast side of the capital.

Even with the new elevated highway and wider bridge across the Nile, half-hour traffic standstills are common. Commuters arrive at Ramses Station riding even the roofs of trains, then cram buses until axles break.

Cairo smog, a corrosive blend of diesel fumes and hot dust from surrounding des-erts, rivals tear gas.

Despite the rampant blessings of prog-ress, Cairo can still charm. In the medieval Khan el-Khalili bazaar near Cairo's thousand-year-old Al-Azhar University, I sought out Ahmad Saadullah's sidewalk café. I found that 30 piasters (45 cents) still brings hot tea, a tall water pipe primed with tobacco and glowing charcoal, and the latest gossip. The turbaned gentleman on the carpeted bench opposite was unusually talk-ative; we dispensed with weather and the high cost of living and got right to politics:

"Of course I am behind President Sadat, but he is taking a great risk. The Israelis have not fully responded. If Sadat fails, no other Arab leader will dare try for peace again for a generation."

Across town at the weekly Akhbar El-Yom newspaper, one of the largest and most widely read in the Middle East, chief editor Abdel-Hamid Abdel-Ghani drove home that same point.

"What worries me most is that President Sadat's agreement with Israel has isolated Egypt from our brother nations," he told me. "When Saudi Arabia broke with us, it was a heavy loss. The Saudis are our close neighbors. Now they have canceled pledges for hundreds of millions in development aid to Egypt. Some 200,000 Egyptians-teach-ers, doctors, engineers live and work in the kingdom.

"And Saudi Arabia, guardian of the holy cities of Mecca and Medina, remains for Muslim Egypt a spiritual homeland."

This magazine was published before my mom was born, and yet the sentiments have basically unchanged. An interesting look at the past, and more proof this didn’t start October 7th. (But imagine my followers already knew that)

[beardedmrbean]

BEIRUT (Reuters) -A 21-year-old woman kidnapped by Islamic State militants in Iraq more than a decade ago was freed from Gaza this week in an operation involving the United States and Israel, officials said.

The rescue also involved Jordan and Iraq, according to officials.

The woman is a member of the ancient Yazidi religious minority mostly found in Iraq and Syria which saw more than 5,000 members killed and thousands more kidnapped in an IS campaign in 2014 that the U.N. has said constituted genocide.

She was freed after more than four months of efforts that involved several attempts that failed due to the difficult security situation resulting from Israel's military offensive in Gaza, Silwan Sinjaree, chief of staff of Iraq's foreign minister, told Reuters.

She has been identified as Fawzia Sido. Reuters could not reach the woman directly for comment.

Iraqi officials had been in contact with the woman for months and passed on her information to U.S. officials, who arranged for her exit from Gaza with the help of Israel, according to a source familiar with the matter.

The Israeli military said it had coordinated with the U.S. Embassy in Jerusalem and "other international actors" in the operation to free Sido.

It said in a statement her captor had been killed during the Gaza war, presumably by an Israeli strike, and she then fled to a hideout inside the Gaza Strip.

"In a complex operation coordinated between Israel, the United States, and other international actors, she was recently rescued in a secret mission from the Gaza Strip through the Kerem Shalom Crossing," it said.

After entering Israel, she continued on to Jordan through the Allenby Bridge Crossing and from there returned to her family in Iraq, the military said.

A State Department spokesperson said the United States on Tuesday "helped to safely evacuate from Gaza a young Yezidi woman to be reunited with her family in Iraq".

The spokesperson said she was kidnapped from her home in Iraq aged 11 and sold and trafficked to Gaza. Her captor was recently killed, allowing her to escape and seek repatriation, the spokesperson said.

TRAUMATIZED

Sinjaree said she was in good physical condition but was traumatized by her time in captivity and by the dire humanitarian situation in Gaza. She had since been reunited with family in northern Iraq, he added.

Iraqi Prime Minister Mohammed Shia al-Sudani had directly followed up on the issue with U.S. officials on the sidelines of the U.N. General Assembly in New York last month, according to Khalaf Sinjar, Sudani's advisor for Yazidi affairs.

More than 6,000 Yazidis were captured by Islamic State militants from Sinjar region in Iraq in 2014, with many sold into sexual slavery or trained as child soldiers and taken across borders, including to Turkey and Syria.

Over the years, more than 3,500 have been rescued or freed, according to Iraqi authorities, with some 2,600 still missing.

Many are feared dead but Yazidi activists say they believe hundreds are still alive. ______________________

Big question i have is why is a isis kidnapping victim being held in Gaza

[kirjavas]

can we talk about how genius the hdm soundtrack is lorne balfe literally died for our sins

the mixture of different melodies in "to touch another" is fucking insane. there's something completely new to represent the settling of their dæmons, a slow and soft reprise of "scholastic sanctuary" which represents safety, childhood and comfort for lyra and pan, and notes from the haunting piece in the scene with the boatman, symbolising coming of age and bringing their separation full circle

the main notes of "lyra: the child of prophecy" are placed at the end of "the serpent's story" and that's on galaxy brain

every lyra and will theme is a variation of "love across worlds"

the music in the end credits of both 1.08 and 3.04 is changed to "look to the stars" as both episodes end with lyra's betrayal

"into the abyss" is a combination of mrs coulter's theme, "asriel's republic" and "goodbye explorer" as well as "crossing worlds" from the scene in which asriel and marisa first departed from each other in season one

"crossing worlds" and "goodbye explorer" are variations of the same melody. both are centered on asriel's journey and what he is fighting for. that journey starts when he creates the bridge to the stars, and ends when he falls into the abyss

"lyra: the child of prophecy", "lyra's jordan" and "separation" are all individual pieces linked together by the same 4 notes. each explore lyra's relationship with herself and the betrayal she is prophecised to make

the music used when lyra uses the alethiometer for the first time contains the melody from the title sequence

both "parting ways" begin with the same melody, but the first track continues with the main theme plus "scholastic sanctuary" to represent the beginning of a great adventure and safety, while the second uses a mournful reprise of "love across worlds" to show lyra and will's realisation that they can't stay together and that the adventure is over

"gracious wings" begins with a dangerous edge but this transforms into a piece that feels like magic and destiny as lyra instructs the ghosts to tell them stories (reflecting the whole journey through the land of the dead), and contains the theme from "lyra: the child of prophecy" literal cinema

will's theme "assuming the mantle" is brought back in the scenes with his father

"play the serpent" is used to represent mary's creativity as she discovers her purpose and it also appears when she and lyra are reunited

[thepastisalreadywritten]

Commemorations Marking The 80th Anniversary of D-Day Take Place In Normandy

Prince William, French Prime Minister Gabriel Attal, and Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau during the Government of Canada ceremony to mark the 80th anniversary of D-Day at Juno Beach on 6 June 2024 in Courseulles-sur-Mer, France.

Normandy is hosting a variety of events across significant sites such as Pegasus Bridge, Sainte-Mère-Église, and Pointe du Hoc, leading up to the official commemoration of the 80th anniversary of the D-Day landing on June 6.

📸: Jordan Pettitt - Pool / Getty Images

[stellasfictionalworld]

part 1.

part 2.

a/n: i love this dumb nepo baby who is trying his best. takes place sophomore year, and the golden/godolkin four are getting big. reader is referred to as cupid. 

reader x andre anderson 

cw: (i mean you’ve watched the show so) implied sex, swearing, under age drinking, fluff

word count: 1,010

It was the annual gala held for Godolkin University. The start of your sophomore year, and time for the Student Rankings to move around again. Your mission? Make it to the top 5. Your heels ached, and your stomach wanted something more than champagne, but you were terrified of your dress popping if you did. You laughed dryly, while your mom’s gloved hand touched your shoulder. Your face already started to ache from the fake smiles and you excused yourself from potential sponsors. 

You’d given polite smiles all the way to the bathroom, then let out a deep sigh. You rubbed your face, fixed your makeup, and smoothed out any creases in your dress. Then you headed back out with your head held high. Despite the fact your mom lived through you, she still looked out for you. That pat on the shoulder was your cue to take a beat and come back with a non-pained smile on your face. You strode past the bar but whipped your head back to catch your peers at the bar. 

Luke Riodarn, flying through the Student Rankings ever since the end of freshman year. His arms were around Cate Dunlap, who was using a bottle of vodka to cover up her giggles. Your eyes drifted to Andre Anderson, son of B-tier hero Polarity, with an arm slinking around a girl. Cate must have used her powers to sneak them a bottle of booze and they started to walk away. Then Cate found you staring at them, and she grinned widely. She curled her leathered hands and waved you over. 

You took a step forward but didn’t move an inch closer. There was guilt pooling in your chest, but you shook it off. You’d guaranteed enough sponsors, plus your mom could take care of the rest alone. So you trailed behind the group and grabbed a pretty glass for yourself. You sat across from Luke and put your glass down. 

“So, Cupid,” Cate laughed, her face flushed and eyes glassy, “I’ve heard you backed off on the… y’know…” she tilted her head to the side slightly. 

“Fucking,” Andre finished the sentence for her. He poured you a glass and you nodded in his direction. 

“Andre,” Cate said hushed with wide eyes. 

“It’s fine. I got bored,” you shrugged and took a sip of the drink, “and realized I was a freshman whore,” you scrunched up your nose. 

“And your ranking fucking dropped,” Andre cracked a smile. 

“You should get a prize for that,” Jordan chipped in, “Fastest way to lose your rating, by the Cupid.” They had a smug look on their face and you rolled your eyes. They took a seat next to you and muttered a sarcastic “thanks.” 

“That’s why I wanna go for more of a… Aphrodite vibe,” you said.

“That’s not bad,” Luke sent a smile your way. 

“Anyway, this shit is boring holy fuck,” you rubbed the bridge of your nose, “I can’t fuck freely,” you groaned. It was true, now more than ever it was crucial. It could easily get political, and start unnecessary drama, leading to a plummet in your career (which hadn’t even started). You finished your drink and let Andre pour another one. 

“Well if you ever need someone to fuck in secret,” Andre winked at you, “I’m down.”

“Don’t tempt me,” you said and then frowned, “but you aren’t the first to offer.” 

That other girl from before was long gone, his attention now on you. Your cheeks were flushed from the good stuff already, but the way he inched closer to listen made your face burn. 

“Ooookay guys,” Cate almost tripped while getting up and Luke flinched to catch her. “I’ve snuck in, drunk my booze, and I’m ready to go. Byeee,” she grabbed Luke’s hand with a wide smile before disappearing with him. Jordan had disappeared from your side too. You looked back at Andre and you both laughed softly. 

“Shit,” Andre dragged out the word and then took another sip.

“Listen, Andre,” you started with your brows knitted together, “I appreciate your offer, but… I mean yes but… fuck never mind,” you looked over your shoulder. The dresses and suits were slowly dispersing. 

“No no sorry,” Andre caught your eyes, and you swallowed thickly, “I didn’t mean it, kinda,” he said. “I mean yes that offer still stands but– fuck-” he scrambled for his words.

“I get what you mean,” you stopped him from further embarrassment, “but let’s start by being friends,” you said. 

He looked a little surprised, but then his face melted into something softer. He poured out the last of the bottle. 

“Friendship,” he nodded his head towards you, and you clinked his glass.

“Friendship,” you grinned. 

…

You went to bed with a warm fuzzy feeling in your chest. Something you hadn’t felt since freshman year in high school. The alcohol helped numb out your mom’s bitchy comments towards you when you found her later that night. You fell asleep with ease.

When you woke up, you were immediately met with multiple notifications. One from an unknown number, so you opened its message. 

1:05 am

hey this is andre. 

1:06 am

i got your number from one of your old… friends? he kinda seemed like a dick.

You rolled your eyes, wondering which hookup it was. You never really had friends from freshman year. 

1:10am

me, luke, cate, and jordan were invited to this party. let me know if you wanna come.

You saved his number and started to type out a text. Annoyingly enough, you couldn’t decide on what to type. You spent about 10 minutes before hitting send. 

11:23 am

i’ll be there :) 

You set your phone down, and it buzzed immediately. Your brows shot up as you saw a text from Andre. He’d forwarded the invite to you and told you to dress nice but not gala nice. You were hoping for a more chill setting for today’s Saturday evening, but it was a party, right? Who could say no?

[survivormom316]

I thought I would share this picture with you. Jordan was the first dog my husband and I had together. He was found as a stray by a coworker of mine when I was working as a groomer. He was around 3-5 months old, and full of mud, knots, cockleburs, and all of the mess that fuzzy stray dogs pick up in springtime in the Midwest. I spent 2 hours patiently combing and bathing him,and he was as calm as could be, as if grateful for the attention and happy to finally be clean. He went home with me that night.

Jordan was a mutt, and there was no DNA testing available at that time, but our best guess was that he was a collie mix, probably with lab and/or golden retriever. But his personality was ALL collie, and it was Jordan who made me fall in love with collies forever. He was my heart dog, and there is still a big hole that will never quite be filled.

Jordan was with us for 14 years. He moved across the country with us, saw our children born and cared for them, helped “raise” multiple puppies and kittens, and made friends with everyone he met. He crossed the rainbow bridge about 12 and 1/2 years ago. I still miss him.

[script-a-world]

Submitted via Google Form:

Since a lot of the desert is not very habitable, my world has a lot of underground buildings in the desert very high tech so that the natural land isn't very important. What do I need to consider for this?

Tex: Do you have a particular desert in mind with this question? There’s a fair amount of deserts that are inhabited already by flora and fauna, if not to a hundred percent coverage, such as the Great Basin desert, Kalahari Desert, and the deserts of Australia.

Deserts that have less flora and fauna, and are of the more popular imagination, such as the Sahara, Gobi Desert, and Syrian Desert, will have pockets of inhabitation around places like wadis, where there’s enough underground pooled water for migrational animals - including humans - to travel to and from. It’s not unusual to see water, and thus inhabitation, around mountainous regions in the desert, or by the borders of a desert where climate zones shift based upon geological features.

Humans have been living in and around the desert for a very, very long time (Wikipedia). Because of this, they’ve developed methods of surviving, and while it might not necessarily be an analogue to denser human populations like New York City that’s teeming with life and a focus of travel, a life is made.

Aridity isn’t necessarily the domain of traditional deserts, either - mountains are a good example of this, as are certain popular examples of civilizations in these areas. Petra is a popular example, home to the Nabataeans and geographically within modern-day Jordan. A notable mountain peak, Tian Shan, in Central Asia, was one of many places the Yuezhi people lived, who were nomadic and lived not only in the surrounding area but also across places like the Tarim Basin and the Tibetan Plateau. There’s a lot of examples of similar situations in other parts of the globe, so this is not an isolated event in human history.

Now, what is your definition of high tech? Skyscrapers? Internet? Something else? Lighting is something humans have had for a while, in the form of candles, hearths, and lamps, and we’ve more or less had an electrical grid in some places since the late 1880s (Wikipedia).

Plumbing has existed for thousands of years in some form for both fresh and wastewater (Wikipedia 1, Wikipedia 2), as has architectural features such as bridges (Wikipedia) and other types of architectural works (Wikipedia). Multi-story buildings have also existed for a while, notable in Roman insulae and Egyptian city of Fustat.

Telecommunications has existed in some form for about as long as human civilization has existed (Wikipedia), but electronic telecommunications began at about 1830-1840 (Wikipedia). I don’t know if you consider this sufficiently old or sufficiently modern, but the information is there for your perusal. Accordingly, the predecessor to the modern internet, ARPANET, was a multi-country project that began in the 1960s and established by the US Department of Defense - and computing hardware has a before and after historical split in technological advances at about the same time (Wikipedia).

What are your goals with this setting and this technology? What are the reasons that your society is living in such an area with such a climate, and what are they using the technology for? Are the communicating with people outside of this area? Is the technology completely isolated, for archival purposes, or is it interacted with on a regular or frequent basis? How much of this is aesthetic, and how much of it is part of a plot or culture?

Utuabzu: Historically, there have been several cultures in arid environments that favoured partly or wholly underground structures, from the Ancestoral Puebloans of the American South West, who sometimes built into the sides of canyons to the Derinkuyu Underground City in south-eastern Türkiye, to the modern town of Cooper Pedy in South Australia. These sites vary significantly in form and in motivation, with the Ancestoral Puebloan canyonside structures built primarily for defense, Derinkuyu built partly for defense and partly just because the local stone was really easy to carve through and vast underground spaces made for convenient storage, and Cooper Pedy is underground to mitigate the worst of the desert heat, mostly utilising exhausted opal mines.

Any or all of these reasons could apply, and would impact your setting’s architecture and urban forms, but the biggest impact is always going to come from the reason people started living there in the first place. The Ancestoral Puebloans farmed the fertile river valleys, Derinkuyu lies in Cappadokia, a region that once gave rise to the Hittite Empire and has plenty of decent farmland and pasture, while Cooper Pedy is a major centre for opal mining. 

I’d suggest considering why this culture lives in the desert in the first place, and then researching what similar locations in the real world look like. Also, decide what sort of desert you’re working with. As Tex said, there’s a lot of different kinds of desert, and they have historically produced very different cultures and architectural traditions. What makes sense in the hot sandy deserts of the Arabian Peninsula or Northern Africa does not necessarily make sense in even the relatively nearby Iranian Plateau or Thar Desert, let alone the cold deserts of Central Asia or the high altitude Atacama or Tibetan Plateau.

[chadillacboseman]

I dont know if you're doing deimos yet or based off song fics, but if you do. Deimos x Fem! reader, exes to lovers . Maybe starting off the fic with a flashback, the flashback being based off austin by dasha where the reader ran into Deimos again when they were tracking him, reaching him before the others only to realize who he was off his voice and asking him this, "Did your boots stop workin'?, Did your truck break down? (Truck break down), Did you burn through money?, Did your ex find out? (Ex find out), Where there's a will then there's a way, And I'm damn sure you lost it, Didn't even say goodbye, Just wish I knew what caused it, Was the whiskey flowin'?, Were you in a fight?, Did the nerves come get you?, What's your alibi?, I made my way back to LA, And that's where you'll be forgotten, In forty years you'll still be here, Drunk, washed up in Austin" By all means please disregard that part if you dont do song fics that's fine! but pretty much just the reader calling him out for leaving their plans behind which lead to her joining rainbow. Then the two of them eventually making it up later down the line after the flash back, the two being forced to work together, or maybe after a fight something happens and they have to rely on each other for survival, only to realize they're still in love all these years later Thanks for taking the time to read :) feel free to dm if you need more details!

FIRST OF ALL- Thank you for the new song, I'm in love with it.

SECOND- A DEIMOS REQUEST?! Truly we are blessed.

Timeline-wise I'm not sure this makes any sense whatsoever but eh.

Deimos was always a bridge burner. It was what he did best.

Maybe it was foolish, but you truly thought that the bridge between the two of you couldn't be burned. Until you came home one night to find all of his things gone, everything he'd kept in your apartment cleared out as if he'd never been there.

Phone calls were useless. His number had already been disconnected.

You had no idea what had driven the sudden disconnect. His work had always been secretive, much like your own, but he always assured you that you'd be the first to know if he had to go dark.

Perhaps it was your fault.

In the months that followed, you threw yourself into your work, desperately trying to push Gerald from your mind until Harry Pandey showed up on your doorstep.

"You'd be an asset to Rainbow," Harry clutched the mug of tea you'd offered him as he sat across from you at the small table, "We're facing a new threat, the Keres Legion."

He said the name as if it would mean something to you. When you didn't respond, he cleared his throat awkwardly and continued, "They're led by Gerald Morris."

Your heart dropped into your shoes as soon as the words left his mouth. Harry must have sensed the change, swiftly pivoting the conversation back to recruitment.

"Joining us would give you a chance to make a difference."

You knew what he meant.

--

Harry was dead by the end of the week that he'd recruited you.

Rainbow was in disarray, constantly besieged by the Keres Legion and now without a leader. Your integration to their ranks was rocky at best- distrustful looks often followed you, accompanied by whispers behind hands.

Jordan, "Thermite" as they called him in the field, was your support in the first few weeks after your recruitment. You were assigned to Redhammer alongside him, tasked with hitting Keres hard and fast, hoping to catch them off-guard.

You were filled with a kind of righteous fury that only Gerald could bring out in you.

You threw yourself into each mission, carving a warpath like a raging wildfire. Every Keres member that you put in the ground only served to enrage you further, mere pawns that the mighty 'Deimos' put between you and him.

Jordan told you to use it, to unbottle the anger and unleash it in full. He was angry too. He'd already lost friends in the Nighthaven split, and now Harry was dead.

"We take him alive, understood?" Jordan gave you a pointed look as he spoke. Weeks of field operations had led you closer to Deimos and his hiding place.

Jordan looked exhausted. Dark circles haloed his eyes and his beard had become unruly. Since Harry's death, he had taken on more responsibility, alongside Doc and Caveira.

Redhammer was huddled outside a warehouse bathed in moonlight, all eyes trained on a floor plan that Jordan had laid on the ground. Red arrows and Xs indicated entry points and positions; you were to take the cat walk that ran above the central room, gaining entry via the window to the east.

Getting inside was easy. Too easy.

You crept along the catwalk while Ash and Thermite came in from below. Fuze set to work planting charges on the exterior of the building.

Beneath you, Keres mercs rifled through crates of weapons. They were of no concern to you, your eyes were fixed on the reinforced door on the opposite side of the room.

Just as you reached it, the sounds of gunfire erupted below, muzzle flashes lighting up the dim space as Thermite and Ash engaged in a firefight.

The gunfire didn't concern you.

You leveled your boot into the door near the handle and it banged open, ricocheting off the wall and sending splinters into the room. You caught sight of Gerald's back as he leapt through the open window and you swore, bounding after him. He had no time to detach his rope, so you followed him down, landing gracefully just feet behind him.

You jumped, tackling him around his middle and bringing him to the ground with a dull thud that forced the air from his lungs. He rolled onto his back, and before he could recover, you leveled a punch into his gut that made him grunt under his mask.

"Deimos," you spit the codename out and he chuckled, "end of the line."

"Still just as pretty, even when you're tryin' to kill me," you could almost hear the smile in his words, "see they got you fightin' the good fight."

"Give me a reason," you hissed.

"I'm bettin' Trace told you to take me alive."

You faltered for a moment and Gerald laughed again. He hadn't attempted to push you off yet, but you knew it was coming. Back in the warehouse, discordant yells were still mixed with gunfire.

"Why did you do it?" you finally asked the question that had burned a hole through you for months, your pistol still pressed firmly against his chest, "Why did you leave?"

"You knew the game, doll," he cocked his head as he stared up at you, "Not like I had fun doing it."

"You didn't even say goodbye," your voice wavered, despite your best efforts, "Not a fucking word- just gone."

He didn't respond, which only pissed you off further.

"Not once did you try to reach out to me," you pressed the gun harder into his chest, "Why?"

"You were safer that way."

The gunfire stopped and your grip on Gerald faltered. In one swift motion, he rolled, knocking you off of him and scrambling to his feet before he disappeared into the night. You cursed and aimed your pistol wildly into the dark, but he was already gone.

--

Jordan knew it wasn't your fault, not really. But that didn't stop Sam from handing you your ass in the days that followed the botched capture attempt.

As punishment, he'd stuck you on watch duty, holed up in some shithole safe house with ears and eyes trained on the warehouse across the street. By the second day, you felt as if you were losing your mind- you were practically begging for something, anything to happen.

And then something did happen.

"Can't believe Rainbow still uses the same safe houses after all these years."

You leapt from your chair and spun on your heel to find Gerald standing in the doorway. Your heart took residence in your throat as you stared him down, your own reflection looking back at you from the eyes of his mask.

"You can relax, sweetheart," he took a few steps forward and you tensed, eyes darting to the door behind him. How much had he changed in all these months? Some of the files you'd read...

"You think I'd hurt you?" he sounded wounded, but you kept your guard up, cursing yourself for resting your sidearm so far from you.

"You've hurt plenty of other people," you glanced at the door again as you spoke, but he had planted himself firmly between it and you.

"They weren't you."

"Why are you here?" you dared a small step toward your pistol that rested on the table near the window.

"Because in about six minutes, this place is gonna be crawling with Masks. Zero isn't as meticulous as Harry was. Shame."

"Harry would still be here if it weren't for you," you shot back and he shrugged.

"You gonna come with me, or you plan on dying to prove a point?"

As if on cue, there was a commotion at the front of the safe house that told you the location was compromised. You glanced at the door, then back to Gerald. He cocked his head in anticipation.

You grabbed your gun from the table and together, you leapt through the window, rolling gracefully as you hit the pavement below. Shots rang out from the window and hit the pavement, sending showers of sparks that lit the dark street at your feet.

You trailed behind Gerald as he wove through the darkening alleyways. No doubt Zero would get word that your location had been compromised. He'd likely send a unit, and you had to wonder if he'd even be disappointed that you weren't there.

Gerald's safe house was nicer than Rainbow's, a fact that wasn't lost on you. You knew that if word got back to HQ about this, you'd be court-martialed at the bare minimum.

It wasn't until your adrenaline ran dry that you noticed the way he clutched at his side protectively, gloved fingers glinting crimson under the fluorescent light.

"You're hit," you moved toward him and he chuckled, pulling his hand to the side so you could see the wound.

"Always so observant," he drawled and you rolled your eyes.

"Let me look at it."

Gerald sank into a chair near the covered window and shucked his jacket to reveal the bloodied area. The bullet, by some miracle of poor White Mask aim, had passed clean through and missed anything vital.

All the anger you'd had was still there, bubbling just below the surface. You still resented him, still hated him with every fiber of your being.

But when he pulled his mask off and tossed it aside, you felt your heart hammer as it had before. He was still the same. Still sharp features and dark eyes that watched your every move as you cleaned the wound and packed it with gauze.

"Harry was right to recruit you," his voice was low as he observed your work.

"Well, he's dead now and losing you last time landed me in this mess."

Gerald grunted in response and you felt the anger as it welled up behind your teeth, threatening to fall out of your mouth like a red hot flame.

"You still hate me, don't ya?" he cocked his head and for a moment the fire died down as your eyes met his. They still crinkled at the corners when he smiled, though new wrinkles had joined the old since you'd last seen his face.

"Do you blame me?" you spat and his smile faded, "Did your phone stop working? Did you even think about me once?" the fire was back, raging in your chest as you stared up at him, defiant as always.

"I never stopped thinkin' about you."

The fire went out in an instant.

"Every day I hoped you were safe. I used to drive by the old place just to make sure you were alive," Gerald leaned in toward you and your heart jumped into your throat, "And every goddamn day, I prayed you'd forgive me."

You opened your mouth, then closed it again, unable to find the words. You'd spent so much time hating him. Resenting him to the point that it made you ill.

Now, here he stood before you- not the mighty Deimos, just Gerald Morris. The man you'd loved.

The man you still loved.

For so long you'd buried it under the anger, convincing yourself that you hated him, convincing the world that you hated him.

"So, do you?" he asked and you met his gaze again, furrowing your brows in confusion, "Forgive me?"

Before you could stop yourself, your arms were around his broad frame, and your face found it's old home buried against his chest. He chuckled and returned the embrace, resting his chin on the crown of your head.

"That a 'yes'?"

You weren't even sure what your forgiveness would look like- how you could reconcile what he'd done- what he would continue to do. But in that moment, it didn't matter, none of it did. You had him here, and he had you.

"Yes."

[catierambles]

Feral Instincts Ch.17

Pairing: The Rogue’s Gallery (Geralt, Syverson, Mike, August Walker, Walter Marshall) x Stephanie Daniels (OFC)

WC 1422

Warnings: mentions of injury and abuse, brief mentions of blood

Stephanie was very still as Walter wrapped her wrists, the other wolf letting her know that silver wounds meant that they had to heal naturally and she would be scarred. Her flesh looked like it had been melted away, but it wasn’t bleeding, the wounds cauterized, edges charred.

“How’d you know something was wrong?” She asked.

“Mike.” Sy said from the doorway. “He called, panickin’, sayin’ somethin’ was wrong, somethin’ was wrong, he needed to speak to you. We told him you weren’t here, and he said we had to find you and we had to find you yesterday. We went out, Geralt tracked your scent, but when he picked up Lewis’ too, is when we knew shit wasn’t right, and that we needed to find you.”

“I need to call him, let him know I’m okay.” She said but stopped with a low sound of pain as she tried to get up from her seat on the toilet lid, sitting back down on it.

“What you need is rest.” Walter said, “Sy can call Mike, let him know you’re alright and safe.”

“He’s going to want to hear my voice.” Geralt came into view and they stared at each other for a moment before he gave a small shake of his head.

“Lost him at an access road. Must have had a car waiting.” He said and Sy sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “How’s your face?”

“Sy?” Stephanie asked and he turned his head slightly, letting her see the gash across his cheek, his beard trimmed away from it so it was easier to tend to.

“Caught me with a silver blade, but it ain’t as bad as it looks. I’ll have one helluva scar, but the beard will hide it.” He said.

“Geralt.” She said and he looked at her. “Come here.” Walter moved away and they moved around each other, Geralt kneeling in front of her.

“Stephanie, I…” She pulled him into her arms, wrapping them around his shoulders. “I won’t hurt you. I’d never hurt you. I love you.”

“I know.” She said, pressing her forehead against his with her eyes closed. “I love you too. I love…all of you, so much. Sy, and Mike, and Walter, and August, and you, Geralt. My heart is so full with all of you. Full to bursting. But Jordan always told me he loved me and then he would hurt me, kept saying that he was hurting me because he loved me. I just…” His arms tightened around her, burying his face in her neck. "I'm tired, I hurt, and I just want to sleep." He stood, adjusting his hold so he could hook his arms under her knees, carrying her out of the bathroom. She felt Sy's and Walter's gentle touches as they went past, August stopping them in the hall only so he could press his lips to her forehead before Geralt carried her to his room, laying her down gently onto his bed and climbing on behind her, holding her in his arms.

"Yeah, Mikey, she's right here." Sy said, coming into the room, his phone to his ear and she held her hand out for it.

"Hey." She said, pinning the phone between her ear and the pillow.

"Sweetcheeks!" He exclaimed, "Are you alright? Tell me you're alright!"

"Better now, Mike." She said and heard him give a heavy sigh. "Thank you."

"For what?" He asked.

"If you hadn't listened to your gut and called Sy, I…I probably wouldn't be here right now. You saved me, Michael." She said, "Just as much as the others did."

"Steph, I…"

"I love you, my wonderful Beta."

"I love you too, my beautiful Alpha." He said and tears stung at her eyes even as her lips pulled into a smile.

"I need to get some rest now. I'll call you later."

"Sleep well." They said their goodbyes, Sy taking the phone from her, but leaning over her to brush the tears from her cheeks, bending to press a gentle kiss to her lips before leaving the bedroom. Geralt tucked himself into the back of her neck, his arm tightening around her waist and she closed her eyes, exhaustion finally pulling her under.

Her sleep was, thankfully, dreamless and she didn’t know how long she was under before she woke up again, but the sun was shining brightly through the cracks of Geralt’s blackout curtains. There was a heavy sigh behind her and she turned over carefully, her muscles still screaming at her. A wide smile pulled slowly at her lips as she came face to fur with Geralt’s massive white wolf. He was still asleep and must have shifted sometimes during the night, which was just a testament to how dead to the world she had been if that didn’t wake her.

Throwing her arm over him, she buried her face in his ruff and breathed in deep, the sensation of fur sliding over her mind making her close her eyes as her own wolf pushed to the surface but stayed just below. Muted barks made his lips puff out and she fought to not laugh, knowing it would wake him up. She knew that it was Geralt, knew that his wolf was a deadly apex predator that could bring down a moose with minimal effort, but gosh, he sure was adorable.

Giant wolf capable of killing a man.

But also puppy.

There was the sound of nails on the wood floor and she peeked over her shoulder, looking into Sy’s glacial blue eyes. Twisting a little, she ran her hand over his head and one ear, keeping clear of the cut on his cheek as she could still smell blood. He huffed, moving his head into her hand and closing his eyes before pressing forward and giving her cheek a lick. Lupine submission act, lick at the mouth or face of the one in charge.

Alphas didn’t exist with true wolves out in the wild, even the author of the theory eventually said it was bullshit. Packs were family units, the “alphas” were just the parents of the others. But the wolves they were, it was auras and pheromones, taking the concept of “presence” and cranking it to eleven. She could feel the others in her head, know who it was before she saw them based on how they felt. Geralt felt like winter, but not cold and biting, more like the feeling you got looking at a gentle snowfall, the peace of it. Sy was the desert horizon, breathtaking and vast, with eyes as blue as the sky you could drown in. Walter was a blanket just out of the dryer, your favorite tea in your favorite mug, comforting and warm. August was the night, a pitch darkness that you could lose yourself in, but it carried an undercurrent of danger. There were things in that darkness, things you should never forget existed. Mike didn’t have a feeling like the others, probably because he wasn’t an Alpha, but she would still know him anywhere.

Sy’s nose pressing into her cheek snapped her out of her thoughts and she snorted, turning onto her side to face him, running her hand over his fur gently. His muscles coiled and she held up a hand.

“Don’t--” He hopped up onto the bed, the frame creaking from the added weight, and laid down, pressing against her. With Geralt at her back and Sy at her front, she was effectively trapped and all she could do was lay there, running her hand down his back. There was a crawling feeling down her spine along with the sound of shifting muscle and bone and Geralt wrapped an arm around her waist, pressing flush against her.

“How’re you feeling?” He asked.

“Still sore and my wrists hurt.” They throbbed, actually, a constant ache that reminded her of a burn, but then again it was probably exactly like a burn, given the state of the injuries themselves. More shifting of muscle and bone, only this time at her front and Sy looked at her softly, brushing her hair away from her face.

“You shift yet?” He asked but she shook her head. “Have you at all since your first?” Another shake.

“Haven’t thought about it.” She said, “I spent my entire life, save for the past couple months, having one form. I kinda forget sometimes I have another now.”

“You should.” Geralt said, pressing his lips to her shoulder.

“Maybe a bit later.” Stephanie said, “I’m still tired.”

[tytach]

The Life We Wish We Had

Written by @tytach, @noiter00123 llustrated by @the-real-pocket-egg Beta by @weshney, @sparkstar-trash

Word count: 33,365

Chapters: 6/6

Rating: Mature

Ao3 Warning: Major Character Death Relationships: Miguel O’Hara/Dana D’Angelo, Peter B. Parker/Mary-Jane Watson, Miguel O’Hara & Peter B. Parker

Characters: Miguel O’Hara, Dana D’Angelo, Peter B. Parker, Lyla, Jordan Boone, Mary-Jane Watson, Doctor Octopus, Gabriel O’Hara

Tags: Pre-Canon, Character Study, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Tone shift, Pregnancy, Child Loss, Bridging the comics and movie lore gap, Identity Reveal, Mending relationship, No Smut, Multiple POVs, Unreliable Narrators, Brutal ending, Mention of blood and injuries

Summary:

"We all want to live the life we wish we had. Believe me, I have tried. And the harder I tried, the more damage I did."  - Miguel O’Hara

Ever since having his DNA spliced with a spider’s, Miguel’s personal life has become a mess. A hidden identity, troublesome mutations, and increasingly frequent bouts of anger tear at his sanity daily. So when his ex-fiancée gets sucked into another dimension, well —  that’s just one more act to the shit show, isn't it?

...or so he thought.

As it turns out, getting stranded in a new world with her and the ever-annoying Peter B. Parker might be exactly what he needs to turn his life around.

A story exploring the trauma behind Miguel’s behavior and convictions in Across the Spiderverse.

@spiderversebigbang

[dustedmagazine]

Music is an Essential Verb: Derek Taylor 2023

Music remains, along with family, friends, and a select few venial vices, my primary daily defense against the mental erosions of spiritual malaise and existential dread. Being a humanist also means being a realist, and little looks to be different on that score in the year ahead as we continue to careen toward a bleak and self-defeating dénouement. The veil of uncertainty around what ultimately feels like inevitability redoubles the need to remain thankful for and supportive of those who devote themselves to art. Summary capsules below describe some of the sounds that kept me going in 2023.

Peter Brötzmann, Wayne Shorter, Kidd Jordan, & Charles Gayle

“The trauma of my generation was what our fathers had done to the rest of the world, and so we said, ‘never again,’ and that was the whole impetus through all my life, and it still is.” ~ Brötzmann (2018)

Musician attrition and demise are dispiriting aspects of every annum, but the departure of four disparate octogenarian reedists exacted an especially steep emotional and cultural toll this year. Shorter and Jordan passed away in March, each of them leaving a rich legacy as indefatigable improviser and altruistic educator that continue influence and inspire. Brötzmann exited in June after the return of a protracted respiratory illness. Few if any can match the magnitude of his mileage and six-decade itinerary as an irrepressible, obstinately adventurous world traveler. Gayle ascended in September, an ardent, uncompromising eremite to the end. All four men left behind discographies and concert/interview footage that will leave the faithful and curious listening and marveling in perpetuity, but their collective absence still aches.

Kirk Knuffke & Joe McPhee Quartet + 1 – Keep the Dream Up (Fundacja Sluchaj)

One of the manifold joys of following the output of Kirk Knuffke is anticipating who he’ll collaborate with next. The cornetist’s ears and imagination are as huge as his heart, a trait he has in common with the equally equanimous Joe McPhee. They’ve known each other for years but Keep the Dream Up is their first released collaboration and it’s an affirming alloy of their complementary creative temperaments. Longtime McPhee comrades Michael Bisio and Jay Rosen complete the quartet with bass clarinetist Christof Knoche comprising the additive on a Brooklyn studio session that captures collective creative lightning in a digital bottle. My album of the year for these reasons and more, although hopefully Joe will bring his brass to a follow-up conclave soon.

Don Byas – Classic Sessions 1944-1946 (Mosaic)

Saxophonist Don Byas recorded prolifically during the 1940s. His porous sound and popular style bridged the schools of swing and bop through prowess and panache aligned with the most esteemed of post-WII tone scientists. That sustained industriousness hasn’t reflected in reliable access to his works, primarily because they’re spread across a plethora of independent labels and competing copyrights. Leave it to Mosaic Records to rectify the longstanding reissue lacuna. This long gestating collection corrals and sequences the bulk of them across ten discs, scrubbing their sound, and adding an expansive cache of rarified verité concert recordings made in a Swedish jazz fan’s residence. Indulging in one’s Byas bias has never been easier or as edifying.

Fred Anderson – The Milwaukee Tapes Vol. 2 (Corbett vs Dempsey)

Patience and long-game aptitude are among music producer/archivist/advocate John Corbett’s virtues. This unexpected, but abundantly welcome sequel to an archival Anderson collection on Corbett’s long defunct Unheard Music Series took 23 years to secure commercial circulation and offers an additional hour-plus from the same gig in improved sound. Fellow AACMers Billy Brimfield and Hamid (nee Hank) Drake join bassist Larry Hayrod in bringing vibrant, detailed life to the Lone Prophet of the Prairie’s (as Anderson was affectionately known) serpentine, cerulean melodies. Corbett’s current label released a plenitude of music in 2023 (see also below) but the uncommon opportunity to hear more Anderson of any vintage makes this release worthy of independent mention.

Jason Adasiewicz

Corbett vs. Dempsey also had a welcome role in Jason Adasiewicz’s return to record with two different projects. On vinyl, Roy’s World documents a 2017 Chicago studio session by the vibraphonist’s quintet originally intended as the soundtrack to a film based on neo-noir novelist Barry Gifford’s short stories. Chicago stalwarts Josh Berman, Joshua Abrams, Hamid Drake, join saxophonist Jonathan Doyle in the ensemble for a program that sounds at once fresh and nostalgic while always vital. On CD, Roscoe’s Village dispenses with band for a solo selective foray through the songbook of Roscoe Mitchell including evocative renderings of “Congliptious” and “A Jackson in Your House” that retain the composer’s essence while striking out in bold new directions.

Natural Information Society

Grounded as it is in core voices of guembri, frame drum and harmonium, codification of Josh Abrams’ NIS as a jazz ensemble immediately feels reductively incomplete. All participating instruments can be active architects in the undulating, melody-laced drones that frequently form the basis of the band’s gradual, granulated improvisations. Performances are more akin to collective expeditions where a galvanizing gestalt effect is afoot; one where earned communal peaks preserve the individual power and agency of the interlocking parts. Since Time is Gravity augments this already catalytic template by incorporating a larger contingent of Chicago colleagues including tenorist Ari Brown to the equation.

Abdul Wadud

A jazz-based improviser on the cello who didn’t double on other stringed instruments, Wadud was also a consummate collaborator and sideman. Magnanimity in lending his substantial talents to the projects of others resulted in a paucity of albums under his own name. By Myself from 1977 on the Bisharra label is a revelatory anomaly on that self-effacing resume. Wadud approaches the instrument as a multifaceted sound factory, plucking, strumming, and bowing, often simultaneously, to create solo tone poems steeped in personal poignancy. Gotta Groove’s vinyl reissue is a beautiful facsimile of the original album object in faithfully reconstructed fidelity.

Marion Brown

Georgia-born altoist Marion Brown had a lengthy, storied career but the body of recorded work that he left behind can present difficulties in terms of ingress to its totality. Scattered across labels, years, and circumstances, much of it is either out of print or commercially unreleased. That collective relative obscurity makes a trio of releases, two on the German Moosicus label, and a third Record Store Day viny reissue of Brown’s 1970 studio duets with Wadada Leo Smith under the shared sobriquet Creative Improvisation Ensemble even more valuable. Of the former two, Mary Ann presents concert material by Brown’s quartet from a 1969 Bremen club gig in soundboard fidelity. Gesprächsfetzen & In Sommerhausen combines two more German concert snapshots, quintet, and sextet, from 1968 & 1969 with Gunter Hampel originally released on the Calig imprint. Steve McCall is a boon on drums in all three contexts.

Art Pepper – Complete Maiden Voyage Recordings (Omnivore)

Art Pepper was an inveterate rake for most of his life, magnifying destructive interpersonal tendencies with drugs and frustratingly frequent acts of self-sabotage. That star-crossed propensity makes the fact that he left so much magnificent music even more miraculous. This lavish box is a fascinating compendium of the constantly competing artistic contradictions at his center, collecting a quartet gig across three nights and seven club sets in Pepper’s native Los Angeles, ten months prior to his premature passing at 56. Over half of the music is previously unreleased and the rhythm section, led by the impeccable and implacable pianistics of George Cables, gives Pepper a cumulative confidence boost that keeps him on the rails. None of it has ever sounded better.

Pan Afrikan People’s Arkestra

Los Angeles of the late-1970s was an unforgiving environment for the economic necessities of orchestral jazz. The Pan Afrikan People’s Arkestra, under the nominal leadership of pianist/composer/community organizer Horace Tapscott, was a tenaciously subversive force in the face of that ruinous rule. Adopting the Immanuel United Church of Christ as an informal base of operations, the large ensemble resourcefully engaged in an ambitious series of concerts in 1979. The Nimbus label, long a Tapscott exponent and repository, released the first three entries this year in an archival subscription series collecting the voluminous results. Titles are also available individually and present the pivotal band at a performative peak with star soloists Sabir Mateen, Billy Harris, Jesse Sharps, and Robert Miranda shining just as bright as their fearless foreman.

Alan Skidmore – A Supreme Love

Unexpectedly issued on Mark Wastell’s Confront label, an imprint better known for its fealty to free improvisation, this six-disc archival tribute to Alan Skidmore’s 70+ year career in music launches with the saxophonist’s 1961 radio debut and lands some seven-hours later with his intimate 2019 rendering of John Coltrane’s “Psalm.” The aural expanse between is brimming with bright moments and luminary collaborators the likes of which include Tony Oxley, Kenny Wheeler, Wayne Shorter, Dave Holland, Mike Osborne, Elvin Jones, and another dozen name drops from the top tier of improvised music. It’s a wild, illuminating ride and a sterling example of a musical memorial done right.

The Jazz Doctors – Intensive Care/Prescriptions Filled: The Billy Bang Quartet Sessions 1983/1984 (Cadillac)

Billy Bang and Frank Lowe shared a bottomless fraternal bond forged through parallel traumas internalized in Vietnam and expressed by the subsequent embrace of the restorative power of improvised music. The pair of sessions (one reissued, one archival) collected on this disc epitomize their deep attachment arguably as well as any of their other numerous collaborations. Outside the cardinal duo, the Jazz Doctors never really had a stable lineup, but the quartets here embody two of their best. Both programs are loosely adherent to freebop conventions with violin and tenor saxophone combining over contrabass and drums for a potent front line. Bang and Lowe are long gone now, their shared absence making the availability of this music even more precious.

Attila Zoller & Jimmy Raney

Hungarian guitarist Attila Zoller had selective affinity for other artists on the instrument, so much so that his mid-career period is seeded by fateful encounters with plectrist peers. Most prolific among these partnerships was his prudent pairing with Jimmy Raney. A popular proponent of bop-based jazz, Raney was in a similar exploratory headspace when the two joined forces on a trio of recordings for the German L + R label over a seven-year span. Concert dates from Frankfurt (’80) and Berlin (’86) find the duo spooling out lengthy dialogues that dabble in free improvisation while keeping codified melodies within reach. An earlier New York encounter (’79) explores their rapport in a studio. All three reissues on the Japanese Ultra-Vybe imprint are aces.

Steve Swell’s Fire Into Music

Simultaneously emblematic of NYC free jazz in the early aughts and fiercely dedicated to resisting pitfalls of provincialism by touring generously and rigorously, trombonist Steve Swell’s Fire into Music was one of the finest quartets of its kind. Posthumously dedicated to the late altoist Moondoc, this three CD set collects a trio of small venue concerts by the band from gigs in Texas and Ontario. As with the horns, William Parker and Hamid Drake are ideally suited to the extended, expository freebop safaris that formed the ensemble’s flexible repertoire. Swell’s the leader on paper but sagely embraces musical communalism without fail.

Intakt

Running a physical media imprint in the 21st century is an inherently parlous enterprise, but this steadfast Swiss label continues to evidence how it’s done. This year’s standout catalog entries include Andrew Cyrille’s Music Delivery/Percussion, the octogenarian drummer’s third solo album and first in 45-years; bassist Jöelle Leandré’s solo Zurich Concert; pianist Aruán Ortiz’s Serranías Sketchbook for Piano Trio; Beyond Dragons by the trio of saxophonist Angelika Niescier, cellist Tomeka Reid, and drummer Savannah Harris, and Ohad Talmor’s Back to the Land, a quartet-plus-guests survey that takes its compositional focus an archival workshop date by Ornette Coleman and Lee Konitz.

Ezz-thetics

The appearance of the Swiss Ezz-thetics imprint four years ago raised both eyebrows and ire. Lacking access to master tapes, veteran free jazz and new music producer Werner Uehlinger sourced commercially released editions instead, employing ace audio engineer Peter Pfister succeeded by Michael Brandli to rejuvenate and refurbish the recordings, stateside copyright considerations be damned. Reaction was expeditious and polemical, but proof is in the hearing as most of the label’s dozens of releases sound better than their original incarnations. Catalog highlights this year include another round of Albert Ayler airshots including his pivotal meeting with the Cecil Tayor Trio in 1962 on More Lost Performances, Charles Mingus’ At Antibes 1960, and Ornette Coleman’s At the Golden Circle.

Fresh Sound

Jordi Pujol is akin to Uehlinger in that he refuses to let his vision and ambitions as a producer be abbreviated by external opinion. In Pujol’s case it’s yielded a bountiful inventory of antiquarian titles that rights holders have shown little to zero interest in restoring to begin with. Cases in point for this year include a definitive collection of obscurando saxophonist Boots Mussulli’s works; concert and studio collections by the Count Basie alumni tandem of Al Grey and Billy Mitchell; hens’ teeth rare leader sessions by Arthur Lyman vibraphonist Julius Wechter; and a two-fer of Julliard-trained Ellingtonian Cass Harrison piano trio albums. Exciting guilty pleasures all around.

Playing for the Man at the Door

As complex as he was controversial, Robert “Mack” McCormick deserves consideration in the esteemed company of other maverick cultural archivists like Alan Lomax, George Mitchell, and Harry Smith. With a preservationist purview mostly comprising Texas and bordering states, McCormick spent much of his adult life obsessively documenting and disentangling the cultural capital of the region through recordings, photography, interviews, essays, and research. Smithsonian Folkways became repository for the massive reservoir after his passing and this box is the first in what will hopefully be multiple dispatches from the same. Unreleased field recordings of Mance Lipscomb and Lightnin’ Hopkins represent the big names, but works by the likes of Hop Wilson, Cedell Davis, Robert Shaw, and a handful of others are just as persuasive. Bongo Joe Coleman’s impassioned presidential pitch closing the set will have listeners pining for a time when third party Executive Branch candidacy didn’t seem so fraught.

Joni Mitchell Archives - Vol. 3, The Asylum Years 1972 to 1975

Mitchell’s continuing project corollary to her old friend Neil Young’s analogously exhaustive retrospective enterprise, this third entry in the series finds her 30-something-self further broadening the lens of her art beyond the solo concert music that dominated the first two boxes. There are stirring solitary shows here, too, but it’s the band offerings that prove most revealing, particularly in the company of reedist Tom Scott’s fusion group L.A. Express. James Taylor, Graham Nash, and David Crosby lend contributory hands, and there’s a brief but intriguing collaboration with Young alongside a trove of demos and workshop versions of songs from her first three albums for Asylum.

Martin Davidson

In closing, another memorial. Martin Davidson wasn’t a musician, but European free improvisation as an art and archive would be a fraction of what it is without his copious and enduring work. As steadfast proprietor of the Emanem label he put his resources into musicians whose efforts frequently fell outside the probability of consistent commercial remuneration. Under his aegis, influential improvisers like Steve Lacy, Derek Bailey, Evan Parker, and Paul Rutherford gained robust catalogs alongside other aspiring artists who never garnered even niche cachet. Davidson was a curmudgeon and an anachronism, trusting his ears implicitly, suffering the indignities of inquiries from strangers seeking audience with the hip hop icon who shared the phonetics of his imprint’s name, and advancing the pleasures of physical media well past their purported expiration date. He was also a talented writer, adding invaluable context to his releases through first-person testimony and critique. Martin will be missed.

And as is tradition in this 20th iteration of this year-end exercise, 25 more titles in stochastic order. Thanks to all for reading, and gratitude to Jennifer Kelly for providing the forum and formatting.

Rodrigo Amado’s The Bridge – Beyond the Margins (Trost)

James Brandon Lewis – For Mahalia with Love (Tao Forms)

Henry Threadgill – The Other One (Pi)

Guillermo Gregorio – Two Trios (ESP)

Rob Brown – Oceanic (RogueArt)

Rich Halley Quintet – Fire Within (Pine Eagle)

Milford Graves w/ Arthur Doyle & Hugh Glover – Children of the Forest (Black Editions)

Mike Osborne – Starting Fires: Live at the 100 Club 1970 (British Progressive Jazz)

Jim Hall – Uniquities Vol 1 + 2 (ArtistShare)

Madhuvanti Pal – The Holy Mother (Sublime Frequencies)

V/A – On the Honky Tonk Highway with Augie Meyers & the Texas Re-Cord Company (Bear Family)

Mal Waldron & Terumasa Hino – Reminiscent Suite (Victor/BBE)

Oum Kalsoum – L’Astre D’Orient 1926-1937 (Fremeaux & Associates)

Sonny Rollins w/ the Heikki Sarmanto Trio – Live at Finlandia Hall Helsinki 1972 (Svart)

V/A – Equatoriana: El Universo Paralelo de Polibio Mayorga (Analog Africa)

Evan Parker – NYC 1978 (Relative Pitch)

V/A – If There’s a Hell Below (Numero Group)

John Coltrane – Evenings at the Village Gate (Impulse)

Derek Bailey & Paul Motian – Duo in Concert (Frozen Reeds)

Peter Brötzmann/Fred Van Hove/Han Bennink/Albert Mangelsdorff – Outspan 1 & 2 (FMP/Cien Fuegos)

Hasaan Ibn Ali – Reaching for the Stars: Trios/Duos/Solos (Omnivore)

Mark Dresser – Tines of Change (Pyroclastic)

Steve Millhouse – The Unwinding (Steeplechase)

Myra Melford’s Fire and Water Quintet – Hear the Light Singing (RogueArt)

V/A – Destination Desert: 33 Oriental Rock & Roll Treasures (Bear Family)