#Brentwood Elementary School

[stmartinsoftours]

A Journey through Catholic Schools in Brentwood, CA

St. Martin of Tours is a K-8 Preparatory School in Los Angeles. As a school community, we work together to: 

Inspire students to reach their full potential in a safe, caring, and secure environment. Foster respect and inclusivity for all. Encourage curiosity through varied and fun experiences, enabling children to have a passion for lifelong learning.

Visit now: https://smtschool.net/

[tkachuktkaching]

Tkachuk has ‘really special’ day bringing Stanley Cup home to St. Louis

Panthers forward visits first responders, children’s hospital with famed trophy

ST. LOUIS -- Matthew Tkachuk remembers visiting family in Boston, the first stop usually being the North End fire department where his grandfather, John Tkachuk, was the chief.

“We’d ride the pole, try the hat on, sometimes we’d go for a ride even though I don’t know if that’s allowed,” the Florida Panthers forward said with a laugh on Thursday. “It was super cool and anytime I see firemen, on duty or off, I always make sure to go say ‘Hi’.”

And when Tkachuk had his day with the Stanley Cup on Thursday, the Brentwood Fire Department, located about 15 minutes west of his hometown of St. Louis in Brentwood, Missouri, was one of the stops he definitely had to make.

It was an enjoyable day for Tkachuk, who had 61 points (24 goals, 37 assists) in 71 regular-season games and 22 points (six goals, 16 assists) in 24 Stanley Cup Playoff games to help the Panthers win their first Cup championship last month.

His time with the Cup actually began Wednesday, when he took it to lunch at Grassi’s Ristorante in Frontenac, Missouri, about 15 minutes west of St. Louis.

On Thursday he brought the Cup to his elementary school, Villa Duchesne in St. Louis, the St. Louis Children’s Hospital and the Brentwood police and fire departments.

“It’s been amazing," he said. "I’m trying to have that little mix of fitting everything I want possible in, but also want to enjoy it with those who are close to me. It’s been awesome so far and I’m sure the day’s going to continue to be awesome.”

There was no riding on the pole at the fire department this time, but Tkachuk did try on a fireman’s hat, saying that “it was a little snug. I’ve got a big head, but it was good.” He also took photos with the firemen and their families, displaying the Cup in the department and outside in front of one of the fire trucks.

Brentwood assistant fire chief Ed Beirne said when he told his staff that Tkachuk would be coming by with the Cup, “I didn’t think their eyes and mouths could open any wider.

“It’s an honor for us to actually be considered,” said Beirne, whose grandson, Faris, was placed in the Cup for one of the photos.

“Although we know the Tkachuk family is part of Brentwood, growing up around here, this is a massive effort to win the Cup. For them to remember and humble us by sharing his day with the Cup, I know he gets it for a short amount of time, but to share that time with us and then bring a lot of joy to the staff and family we were able to assemble, that is what’s really special about public safety and the NHL in general. It’s a family sport. All of us have played it, it’s a family, and this is a testament to that.”

When Tkachuk brought the Cup to the police department, he was joined by his immediate family, including brother Brady, captain of the Ottawa Senators, and father Keith, the former NHL forward who had 1,065 points (538 goals, 527 assists) in 1,201 games with the Winnipeg Jets, Phoenix Coyotes, Atlanta Thrashers and St. Louis Blues.

Brady was catching up with Matthew after some early-morning training.

“I can’t just be riding his coattails. Have to prepare for next season,” Brady said with a laugh.

“This is our childhood dream, just to see it up close and personal, to see how happy and genuinely excited and fulfilled and satisfied Matthew is, it’s amazing to see. It’s been awesome to see, and it’s definitely created that burning desire for me to provide that for my family and friends, too.”

Matthew took photos with individual officers and staff members, who were hesitant as they approached the Cup.

“Anybody that knows anything about hockey knows the Cup is sacred, so we’re scared to touch it,” Brentwood police chief Joseph Spiess Jr. said.

“The Tkachuk family has a strong presence in Brentwood. Not only do we get to protect them, but we get to share in their celebration, so it’s cool for us. Most of the people in this building are huge fans, sports generally, but hockey in particular.”

When the Vegas Golden Knights won the Cup in 2023, it marked the first time that names were engraved on the Cup prior to players and staff getting their respective days with it. It was something Matthew appreciated.

“It’s really special for my family. Years and years and years of hockey in our blood and for grandparents and extended family that come to my house and see that Tkachuk name on the Cup there, it’s truly such a special thing,” Matthew said.

The family had its own time with the Cup by midday Thursday. After bringing home some barbecue, Brady and Keith, along with Matthew’s sister, Taryn, mom Chantal and his fiancée, Ellie Connell, took turns taking a sip of beer out of it.

Tkachuk had already spent some quality time with the Cup. He and a few Panthers teammates brought it to Fort Lauderdale, Florida, on June 25, the day after they defeated the Edmonton Oilers 2-1 in Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final. That day, they brought it to the Elbo Room, a bar near the beach, and Tkachuk carried the Cup into the Atlantic Ocean.

But there’s something special about bringing it back to your hometown.

“It hasn’t sunk in,” Keith said. “It’s been so much fun watching Matthew with the Cup with other people. That means more than winning, so it’s so cool. We’re pretty proud. He’s been around, grew up here, wants to be a part of it and he took it everywhere. Everybody’s loving it. We’re loving it.”

via nhl.com

Photos © Tracey Myers

[peppermintmagicianlynn]

TimBer Week 2024: Class Reunion

TimBer Week 2024 Day #5: Class Reunion

“Nice Lion-Guard statues at the opening gate. The lack of gargoyles helps you pretend you’re nowhere near Gotham proper.”

“Those were changed since I went here. I wonder if someone broke the front them again.”

“Can I ask what broke them before?”

“Cop car crashed into them while trying to chase after some rollerblading gang members.”

“Classic Bristol.”

—

Brentwood Academy was a school Bernard had heard of many times, even before befriending someone who’d actually went there. His parent had asked his previously if he might want to go there, willing to scrap together the money for enrollment, but he’d declined. His excuse at the time was along the lines of “how can I grow as a well-rounded person with no girls around?” Looking back, it might have been his repressed fear that being around nothing but males would make it harder to hide the part of him that let his eyes linger a little too long.

Tim had been confused when the invite for his previous class’s 10-year reunion showed up in their mail. “I didn’t graduate with them. “You didn’t graduate at all, hon.” “Exactly!”

His guess was that the dean talked them into inviting him because it would look good if he turned up to the reunion and hobnobbed with their potential donors. The only reason Tim agreed to go at all was that he had a few friends he hoped to see there. Tim RSVP’d himself and one guest, that of course being Bernard.

For his part, Bernard was more interesting in seeing how many students at this school were in love with Tim – he’d clocked maybe half the Greive’s population and ad taken great pride in rubbing his relationship status in all of their faces. He’d gone to elementary school with some of them; they’d pulled his clothes or stolen his juice boxes. So it was just fair game to steal the heart of their high school idol. Bernard was ready to flaunt his claim over any other men who’d gotten their awakening from the marvelous Tim Drake as well.

They parked the car and were following the directions of one of the senior boys - their little blazers were so charming - when the bark of a dog made pause. It broke through the manicured bushes that separated the parking lot from the main grounds, revealed to be a tan-colored pug running at full tilt. Everyone in the area froze to watch the dog as it cut through the cars but only one person made a move towards it.

“No way,” Tim breathed at Bernard’s side, putting out a hand with a face liked he’d seen a ghost. “Cardigan?!”

The dog slowed, looked back to Tim, then changed direction to come his way.

With a mystified look, Tim crouched down as the little creature reached him, putting tiny paws on the knees of his expensive slacks, tail wagging with glee. “You’re still…oh, wait.” Tim hooked a finger into the dog’s collar, pulling it up so he could read the name tag. “Cardigan III. I guess that makes more sense.”

There was a sadness in those words and Bernard instinctively gripped the other man’s shoulder in comfort, despite not understanding its source. Experience told him that the answers would unveil in time anyway, even in the next thirty—

“Cardy! There you are. I’m so sorry, sirs.” A student cut around the bushes, holding a leash in his hands and panting. “He got away from me.”

“No problem, sport,” Tim said as he rose to his feet. One hand slipped into his pocket, giving him a look of perfectly amicable suburban dad. He was channeling serious Brucie Wayne energy without even knowing it. “I can’t think this is the same Cardy I used to play fetch with when I was a student here.”

“Oh, no, sir,” the boy answered, attaching the leash to Cardy’s collar. “Cardigan Sr. and Jr. passed away a long time ago. This is Cardy the Third.”

Tim sighed, absorbing that information with downturned eyes. The boy picked up Cardy the Third and carried the dog back to the side of the building, promising treats if he would just be more agreeable.

“Cardy Sr. and I were really close,” Tim said to Bernard as they linked hands, following the people who were heading to the building's front entrance. “We had a lot of adventures together, even if I didn’t want him chasing me around.”

“Maybe we should get a dog?”

“We have enough animals to feed as it is. And I’m not just talking about the cats.”

Bernard just laughed and squeezed his hand tighter.

—-

The opening presentation was unimpressive, taken up mostly by a PowerPoint that described Brentwood’s prestigious history. They also learned about the various alumni of Brentwood who went on to create successful careers. Bernard could imagine the school board grinding their teeth that they couldn’t add one Timothy Drake-Wayne to that list. But hey, no school could.

Though one man that was bragged in the slides was a friend Tim sought out after they were allowed to mingle.

“Kip!” Tim pulled the equally short, though quite a bit thicker, male into a tight hug. Kip Kettering looked surprised by Tim’s enthusiasm.

“It’s great to see you too, Tim! Well, to see you in person and not in another Elites of Gotham magazine cover.”

Tim groaned, though that could remove his smile at the ribbing.

“No really, who would have thought our Tim Drake, wrangler of explosive dorm fights and hero to nerds everywhere would grow up to be a CEO? I bet your board meetings look like the war room scenes from the best action movies.”

“Being honest with you, they feel like that sometimes though usually I’m going to war against the rest of them.” Bernard and Kip both laughed. “I swear, they'll get maybe five more years out of me, then I’m quitting and becoming a househusband!”

That statement reminded Kip that they had skipped an important introduction. “Oh, you must be Bernard!” The two shook hands. “I saw the wedding announcement on LiveWire. Congrats to you both!”

“Thank,” Tim said, his smile like sunshine which told of how relieved he was by the positive response. “I’d wondered if I should invite you guys but…”

“But you weren’t sure about how supportive we would be,” Kip cut to the chase, nodding his head in understanding. “I get it, man. Events like this, you never know if the people you were friends with have grown with the times, or cartwheeled backwards. You have to be careful!”

“But you weren’t sure about how supportive we would be,” Kip cut to the chase, nodding his head in understanding. “I get it, man. Events like this, you never know if the people you were friends with have grown with the times or cartwheeled backwards. You have to be careful!”

“What about you, though?” Tim asked, wrapping an arm around Bernard’s waist. “I never thought you’d end up a movie producer, but then again, it does track. You were always more critical of your movies than your taste in books.

Kip shrugged, not denying that. “Well, I graduated school with a tidy bit of money in my pockets so I thought, why not apply myself into something that interest me instead of a mindless computing degree. I guess you can’t really relate to that, can you?”

“Damn Kip, when did you get so brutal?”

“Since I moved out to Hollywood.”

“Hey, Timbo!” A boisterous baritone voice cut through the ruckus of the room, turning the attention of their group specifically. A very tall man shouldered his way through various bodies, his skin-tight clothing showing the cut of bulky muscles as he charged their way.

“Buzz Cohen,” Tim said, smirking at the approaching man where Kip grinned through an exasperated sigh. Tim put out a hand to shake but Buzz captured it and pulled the raven-haired man into a hug. "You sure look calm for a professional football player in a room of soccer-school alums."

“And you sure look respectable for a high school dropout!” Buzz clapped Tim on the shoulder, hard enough to bruise. A hit like that wasn’t anything Tim could take but he still faked like he was ready to fold in the knees. “You got adopted by a millionaire, took over his company, and you even got married all before we got to see you again!”

Tim elbowed Buzz in the ribs, trying to be gentle with it, but the other man still winced. Now free, Tim straightened himself out and went about the proper introduction. “Kip Ketterling, Buzz Cohen, this is my husband, Bernard. Bern, this is Kip and Buzz, some of my best friends while I went to Brentwood.”

“It’s nice to meet you to. And also, thank you. Now I know why Tim never mocked my name in school.”

“God damn it, Bernard.”

Bernard listened to Tim and his friends recount their adventures in Brentwood. He had already hear these stories from Tim but it was nice to hear the parts he had intentionally left out. Like his failed attempt at soccer tryout (likely on purpose) or his various run ins with their former housemother. They shared a mutual disappointment that a few of their group - Ali, Danny, or Wesley – hadn’t shown up to the party but that changed to making plans for their own friend reunion. Bernard was interest to see how they would get the leader of a former-terrorist sect and the leader of a country to come all the way to Bristol for pizza. Moreover, he wondered what Bruce would do if he found out.

The group eventually split up with talk about other classmates to check on. They swapped contact info and promises to actually stay in touch this time.

Tim had patrol that evening, so they made a quick pass through the crowd to check for anyone else he knew well enough, then took Bernard back outside through a different way. There was a part of the campus Bernard had been dying to see ever since Tim had told him the unabridged version of his time in all-boys school.

“So that’s the legendary bell-tower, huh?” He’d seen it from a distance when they were driving up but now that the sun was starting to set, it gave the neglected structure a creepy vibe. A perfect hiding spot for a family of Man-Bats looking to raise their daughter and new baby son.”

“Yeah, this is the place. I snuck up with Cardigan Sr. and after we scared the Man-Bats out, I had to save the pooch from himself. And save my skin by doing so.”

They ventured closer but stopped when they noticed a collection of boys hanging around the entrance. Tim made a noise and when Bernard looked his way, his husband was looking at the kids intensely. “The boy with the blond hair; I think I know him.” He was the smallest of the group, light blonde hair and a sunny smile. “I think that’s Aaron Langstrom.”

“You mean the-” someone was approaching them “the science couple’s kid?”

“Yeah, the Langstroms worked with WayneTech for a bit, so I got to know him.”

“Good evening to you, Mr. Drake.”

Even Bernard had heard the old man coming up behind them, but he could see where it might freak you out if you were one of his students. He moved like a ghost.

Dean Nederland was perhaps some kind of immortal because Tim had showed him pictures of the Brentwood headmaster and he looked exactly the same, not an extra wrinkle to be seen even after ten years. Cardy the Third was at his side, pawing at his owner’s ankle. Bernard wondered idyll why the dean was walking his dog now when he had an entire group of alumni to be schmoozing for donations.

“Hello, sir. I hope you’ve been well.”

“I have Mr. Drake. Or is it Drake-Wayne, now?”

“Drake-Dowd, Sir,” Tim smiled, clasping his ex-headmaster’s hand firmly. “This is my husband, Bernard.”

“Hello,” Bernard greeted, given a handshake as well. The man’s grip was surprisingly firm for someone of his years. He was putting ‘vampire’ at the top of his theory list.

“I am pleased to meet you, young man. I hope you have found our Brentwood Academy lives up to its reputation. Perhaps you might consider sending your own son here someday.”

“I’m truly impressed by the place, sir. It’s a magnificent facility and Tim has told me of his many fond memories as a student.” This got a smile from the dean who nodded at Tim in something that could be pleasure or gratitude.

But Tim turned the discussion back to the previous point. “So that is Aaron Langstrom? I hadn’t realized he was old enough to attend here.”

“Yes, he began his first year with us this fall and has been a delightful child.” The dean sighed with an aged kind of happiness. “He was here for the tour and in the first five minutes, declared he felt very at home in our Brentwood. Hearing that was a great joy for me, I don’t mind telling you.”

Given that the meta-human had once spent his nesting years in that very belltower, Bernard could imagine why he found it “homey”. He wasn’t about to mention that to the dean, though. Let him have his happiness.

Dean Nederland spoke with them for a few minutes more before bidding them good night and continue to walk his peppy dog who did let Tim and Bernard pet him one last time. The moment they disappeared, though, the couple was approached by an entirely new group.

“Excuse me?” Aaron and his friends had made their way over, wearing expressions of hesitation but also curiosity. “Are you Tim Wayne? I’d seen you in one of the old school photos.”

“Yes, that’d be me.”

“Oh cool,” said another boy. “Then, you were the guy that saved that guy who was kidnapped by that casino guy, right?”

“Uh, yes I was.”

“So you were also the guy that had a demon explode in his dorm room and cut up a dude who was protecting that Arabian prince?”

“Well, yes, but he was actually --”

“And you were here for when the original Sk8Bratz crashed through the campus gates and broke the front door?” “Idiot, we told you, it was the side gate and they broke the lions.” “Nuh uh.”

Bernard grinned at his husband. “Seems your reputation as a center of chao didn’t start in Grieves, hon.”

“No, it started when I was born,” Tim replied with a sly grin. And after quieting the bickering boys, set to work untangling their many stories of his Brentwood years and laying out the various cover stories he’d crafted for such situations.

The sun was fully set by the time they left the Brentwood Academy grounds, though they still had one more stop to make in Bristol Commons before heading to Wayne Manor.

“I’d see this place all the time when I was doing patrols around school,” Tim said as they took their orders and settled into an empty booth in the SunDollar coffee shop. “I was too busy to check it out when I’d just started classes and towards the end, I was under house arrest, so I never did get the chance.”

Bernard took a sip. “Sorry to break it to you, honey, but if it was just like this back when you were a student, you weren’t missing out on much.”

Tim took a sip, agreed to his point, then kept drinking it anyway.

They sat in comfortable silence for a while, holding hands over the tabletop. Until Tim said, “I keep thinking about when the dean said.”

“About us having a son someday? Because I’m pretty sure I put into the prenup that I wanted a girl as my first child, so don’t go buying any blazers or ugly ties in the near future.”

Tim waved that away, not even interacting with Bernard’s joke. “Specifically, about sending my own child to Brentwood.”

Bernard frowned. “You’d want to send them to boarding school? After how miserable that always made you?”

“I wasn’t thinking they’d have to live there like I did. They could just be day students and live at home. It’s just…that made me think about if I really liked or really hated my Brentwood experience as a whole. Even now, after all these years, I have mixed feelings about that time in my life. There was a lot of dangerous things I faced there, a lot of drama from outside the walls and inside of them. But there were also some really joyful moments. Experiences that I might not have bothered with until I was forced to act like a teenager and grew to kind of like it.” He sipped his coffee again, gazing out the window towards the silhouette of the belltower. “The guys there were all so different from my Gotham Heights friends, or my teammates, but they still made me feel like one of them. They taught me to feel like ‘one of the guys’ and I really did love that.”

Bernard grinned at his adorable husband. But a tiny, territorial part of his heart made him ask “Did you like going to Brentwood more than Grieves?”

“Hell no.” Tim turned to smirk at his husband. “Not just the fact that I met the love of my life at Grieves, but I got to actually be a kid there; no secrets, no Robin, no double life to get in the way. The Brentwood guys helped me learn what it meant to be a kid. But you and Darla…you made me see what it meant to be Tim Drake. You still do that for me, every day.”

Bernard grinned, knowing it was all kinds of mushy but not caring enough to stop. He let himself be pulled into a searing kiss, much hotter than this lukewarm coffee. He laced his other hand into Tim’s, delighted by the cut of the wedding band that he’d put there not long ago.

He hadn’t gotten to brag on any of Tim’s ex-suitors but that was okay.

They still had the Gotham High reunion two months from now.

---

This feels kind of more like a Brentwood Boys fic then TimBer but I love that stretch of Tim's comics. I couldn't NOT overdo it. Sorry if anyone else wanted to see Ali, Danny, or Wesley. Maybe someday in the future they can have Brentwood Boys reunion part 2.

And no, I don't know if Aaron Langstrom ever appeared in the comic universe again. But he should! And he should have a good life and become a student at the school that he grew up in.

[simplegenius042]

Music Monday & "Which child of Agamemnon and Klytemnestra are you?" quiz

Tagged by @socially-awkward-skeleton

Tagging @adelaidedrubman @shallow-gravy @cassietrn @chazz-anova @strangefable @wrathfulrook @josephslittledeputy @josephseedismyfather @voidika @onehornedbeast @vampireninjabunnies-blog @g0dspeeed @direwombat @strafethesesinners @jillvalentinesday @inafieldofdaisies @minilev @a-rose-in-a-garden-of-weeds @snake-in-the-garden and @nightbloodbix

You can find the quiz here. Music and results below:

After my last WIPs only showing angst, here's a love song for OCs Azriel and Schrödinger Turquoise specifically from Far Cry The Silver Chronicles (however, as of typing, I do not make any promises that quiz results will not include angst). Song below:

"Well I don't care what they think Drag racing my little red sports car I'm not unhinged or unhappy, I'm just wild

I'm on the run with you, my sweet love There's nothing wrong contemplating God Under the chemtrails over the country club We're in our jewels in the swimming pool Me and my sister just playin' it cool Under the chemtrails over the country club

Meet you for coffee at the elementary schools We laugh about nothing as the summer gets cool It's beautiful how this deep normality settles down over me I'm not bored or unhappy, I'm still strange and wild

You're in the wind, I'm in the water Nobody's son, nobody's daughter Watching the chemtrails over the country club Suburbia, The Brentwood Market What to do next? Maybe we'll love it White picket chemtrails over the country club

My love, my love

Washing my hair, doing the laundrey Late night TV, I want you on me Like when we were kids under chemtrails and the country clubs It's never too late, baby, so don't give up It's never too late, baby, so don't give up."

And now three results from the quiz!

First we got Eleanor (from The UnTitledverse). And hot damn she got called out. Considering she was created by the first evil being of darkness (by function) to be created into existence only to side with its twin which is an Eldritch that is the embodiment of good and light (though take caution, both Eldritch take their moralities to the extreme) definitely fits the vibe Elektra is giving off.

Next we got Ezekiel (from Far Cry The Silver Chronicles). A man just looking for any survivors from the Tumultite Massacre, hoping his diversion had succeeded in driving away the Enforcers from the Omar sisters (+ Silva's infant daughter). Only to find a world broken down by war and hoping to fix it alongside Thomas Rush as his Captain of Security.

And lastly we have Inviticus (from Life, Despair & Monsters). An antagonist apart of the Midnight Rise, he is Malvolio's main enforcer, and he takes pleasure in the pain he inflicts on his endless hunts.

[bllbabaggins]

Hey all, please give this article a read - a local, independent news org broke this story on my friend’s resignation over bullying and harassment after he came out in his school.

[thedoorsofmyheart]

I'm on the run with you,

My sweet love

There's nothing wrong contemplating God

Under the

chemtrails over the country club

Wearing our jewels in the swimming pool

Me and my sister

just playing it cool,

Under the chemtrails over the country club

Meet you for coffee at the elementary schools

We laugh about nothing

as the summer gets cool

It's beautiful how this deep normality settles down over me

I'm not bored or unhappy, I'm still so strange and wild

You're in the wind, I'm in the water

Nobody's son, nobody's daughter

Watching the chemtrails over the country club

Suburbia, The Brentwood Market

What to do next? Maybe we'll love it

White picket chemtrails over the country club

My love, my love

Washing my hair, doing the laundry

Late-night TV, I want you only

Like when we were kids under chemtrails and country clubs

It's never too late, baby,

so don't give up

[lboogie1906]

LeToya Nicole Luckett (born March 11, 1981) is a singer-songwriter and actress. She rose to fame in the late 1990s as a founding member of Destiny's Child. As a member of Destiny's Child, she achieved four US Top 10 hit singles, "No, No, No", "Bills, Bills, Bills", "Say My Name" and "Jumpin', Jumpin'", and won two Grammy Awards. In the 2000s, she began her solo career after leaving the group and signing a record deal with Capitol Records. Her solo debut album, LeToya, debuted at #1 on the US Billboard 200 chart and was certified platinum by the RIAA. The lead single, "Torn", reached the Top 40 in the US and set records on BET's top ten countdown show 106 & Park. She was awarded Top Songwriter at the ASCAP Rhythm and Soul Awards and was nominated for Outstanding New Artist at the NAACP Image Awards. She released a second solo album, Lady Love, which debuted at number-one on the US Top R&B/Hip-Hop Albums chart. She was born in Houston. She is the older of two children. She grew up singing in her local Brentwood Baptist Church. She took vocal lessons to become an opera singer. She married motivational speaker Rob Hill Sr. (2016). She married entrepreneur Tommicus Walker (2017-2021). They have two children. She has since become an actress. She landed a leading role in the movie Preacher's Kid. She was part of the cast of the feature films Killers and From the Rough, as well as starring on the second season of Treme, and on the third season of Single Ladies. She had a recurring role on Greenleaf. She most recently starred in Line Sisters. She released her third studio album, Back 2 Life, her first independent release, which peaked at number four on the US Independent albums chart. The album was preceded by two singles—"Back 2 Life" and "Used To". She has sold over 25 million records with Destiny's Child on the group's first two albums and singles. She was given the chance to sing her first solo at the age of five. "The lady just gave me the mic one Sunday and I sang," she recalled. She joined the children's choir and began performing in plays at her elementary school. #africanhistory365 #africanexcellence #womenshistorymonth https://www.instagram.com/p/CppqsY2rQma/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[butchzilla2000]

Final Seminar Project for ENG-L440: Illness Narrative

Naomi Estes, Fall 2024, Indiana University Indianapolis

"Flowers in Ashinoko"

A Self-Reflective Analysis of Godzilla vs. Biollante as a Mirror for the Transgender & Intersexual "Monstrous" Self

“Monsters are tragic beings; they are born too tall, too strong, too heavy. They are not evil by choice. That is their tragedy.”

― Ishiro Honda, director of the original 1954 Godzilla

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Section I: Introduction to the Monstrous Self

What does it mean to be a monster?

Is my body truly so strange to warrant such an image – of myself as a hulking beast, breathing fire from dripping jaws, a featureless glare quaking with rage?

Is my human form so different from others that I was to be relegated to such a moniker – a fleshy, bipedal monster, walking hand-in-hand among the normal man?

Nowadays I still consider myself something of a monster – but it has become something to be proud of, not something to fear, as I did in my youth. So often I used to look at my form as the derogatory meaning of ‘monster’, rather than my newfound, more positive interpretation of being 'monstrous', my new feeling on monstrosity taking after the definition of the self-diagnosed "monstrous selfhood" that Susan Stryker discussed in her essay, “My Words to Victor Frankenstein Above the Village of Chamonix–Performing Transgender Rage,” which she dictates as her body becoming a 'monstrous' conduit for communicating her emotions to the world that oppresses her:

“I am too often perceived as less than fully human due to the means of my embodiment; like the monster’s as well, my exclusion from human community fuels a deep and abiding rage in me that I, like the monster, direct against the conditions in which I must struggle to exist,” (Stryker, 239).

 Like Stryker’s evolutionary experience as a trans woman, my own transsexual and intersexual body slowly grew into a piece of human artistry; my body is now a conduit for my passionate rage towards the society that others me, a connection that ties myself all the more intimately to my trans brothers and sisters; a something strange and wonderous that I can stare at in the mirror and find fascinating, beautiful, and surprisingly human, even in its monstrous difference from the conventional; but this was not always the case for me, as it is for most of my transsexual siblings. With age and time came wisdom and pride, and I had to learn it through the lessons of my heroes – the monsters who taught me to have pride in being a monster.

When I was young, my hermaphroditic body cast shadows over my ability to perceive myself as a properly “normal” human being; even before I knew what exactly I was – intersex and transgender – I distinctly felt like a deviant, unable to present my bodily form before the cursory gazes of my peers. I always felt nonnormative, someone grotesque and unable to be loved; in my earliest school memories, I had always kept my head down and my half-lidded eyes forever investigating the intricacies of the concrete tiled floors of Brentwood Elementary, rather than searching the souls of my peers through the meeting of our quivering eyes.

I feared so much the idea that I was being constantly perceived by the world around me, because I so perpetually perceived myself as a monster – something inhuman, something unable to “pass” as a human, something undeserving of the opportunity to be a human. When I was a boy, I was forever bullied and othered for the petite shape and general androgyny of my lanky frame, for the girlish way I sat in an aged wooden desk chair, for the neurotic fear I showed when faced with sports and hypermasculine activity, and for the love I had for the nerdiest of passions - cars, trains, motorcycles, and, above all, monsters.

When children are faced with the notion that they are ‘different’ and unable to mingle with their peers, they so often turn to sources of companionship from fictional beings, the figures of the media they consume, the characters who turn into sources of friendship, symbols of humanity, things that can remind them that they are, in fact, worth existing, despite all of their ‘flaws.’ In learning to understand that they are different, so many intersexual and transgender individuals acted as I did by searching for the perfect reflection of themselves – the “monstrous something” that could help them figure out who they are, and, by extension, act as a conduit for their own emotions and their identity – additionally, a means to have a true friend.

As Carina Pasquesi describes in “Of Monsters, Creatures, and Other Queer Becomings,” the burgeoning existence for queer individuals – especially one in their foundling years, desperate to find meaning in themselves – can be described by a need to “[find] themselves as fierce creatures, something more powerful than just human, as a way to be brave, to give ourselves a necessary fiction of power in the face of negativity,” (Pasquesi, 120).

Essentially, it is a need to find validity and structure in this newfound "monstrous" identity that the queer youth has found for themselves; a need to discover something to ground them, to fulfil their desire to feel welcomed and absolutely resolute in the construction of this “new self” they’ve discovered, despite its nonnormative and unconventional construction that defies the very constitution of the heteronormative hegemony that oppresses us.

 For many queer children who struggled as I did, it could have been any number of fictional mirrors of strangeness or monstrousness that they turned to in order to find this “meaning”; for some,  it may have been the X-Men they turned to – unique, diverse in their abilities and constitutions, always struggling against a great foe; for others, it could have been the world of Star Wars, where anything and everything was possible in the endless and imaginative lands of a galaxy far, far away.

For myself, I sought out the one thing that reflected how I felt towards the world; a creature so misunderstood, so emphasized in his otherworldly construction, so unbelievable in form and power, so unconventional in his mere existence that he made me feel that it was okay to be different; that it was truly okay to be a monster.

As such, my greatest hero was, and always will be, the one and only...

King of the Monsters,

Godzilla!

The Heisei incarnation of Godzilla roars at the Japanese military, from 1991's Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah.

Section II: The Rose of Transness in Godzilla vs. Biollante

When I first encountered Godzilla as a very young child, I was completely awe-struck. I remember my papa showing me the tattered cover art of Godzilla battling a robotic monster on a chipped plastic VHS tape, and plonking it into our tired Sylvania CRT TV; I remember the sensation of wonder as the Toho logo flashed on screen as the grating, groaning roar of Godzilla echoed throughout our tiny St. Louisian home.

My very first Godzilla film was that of Godzilla vs MechaGodzilla, the 1974 classic starring not just the hulking form of a heroic Godzilla, but the iconic evil robotic doppelgänger, MechaGodzilla, as well as the fictitious Okinawan kaiju legend: King Caesar! I sat with complete attention as the hilariously charming human characters fought tirelessly against a capitalistic "Space Ape" alien threat (despite my complete unawareness in this sudden thematic importance!) as Godzilla faced off repeatedly against his diabolical robotic body double, cheering and hooting in excitement as he and the ridiculously silly, lionlike form of King Caesar finally bested the alien robot in a tense and climatic final fight.

King Caesar displaying his "Prismatic Eyes" (プリズム式眼球) ability, which allow him to reflect MechaGodzilla's attack!

In a flash, I had become utterly infatuated with the tokusatsu genre of rubber suited monsters fighting for supremacy amongst gorgeously intricate miniatures - and thusly I began to fall in love with Godzilla himself.

Godzilla manages to trap MechaGodzilla in his hold!

He was more alive to me than the human beings who scrutinized every facet of my youthful self; he seemed more energetic, more invigorating, more emotional than the people who constantly glared at me, or asked why I looked so feminine despite my purported 'boyhood'; he seemed so full of authentic life in the way his body threw itself into the fray, in the way he always got back up in the heat of battle, in the way he fought for justice against overwhelming odds, even when the Earth he lived in despised him for his monstrous appearance.

In those days of my youth when the human world first became so obtrusive and cruel to me, I would often turn away from reality and to the broader and imaginative world of Godzilla and his many kaiju companions. I found myself forever enamored when he was on screen, a giant, atomic monument to the bodily human condition, a momentous example of a living, breathing being whose monstrous body and nonnormative form punished him with a world who hated him; and yet, Godzilla always fought for something, whether that something be freedom for himself, vengeance against those who had harmed him, or justice for the world that hated him. No matter how many times Godzilla was knocked down by human military might or by the brutal attacks of rival kaiju, he always got back up and kept on fighting – and in that way, he became my greatest hero.

Godzilla waving good-bye to Jet Jaguar, his robotic ally from the 1973 film, Godzilla vs. Megalon.

Despite his strangeness, despite his monstrousness, despite the hate that the world threw at him, Godzilla kept on living – and he kept on fighting. He became an inspiration for little four-year-old me, and continued to be that inspiration for ten-year-old me, and then fourteen-year-old me, and now even twenty-four-year-old me. Even with that first viewing of Godzilla vs. MechaGodzilla, Godzilla’s tenacity and the certain pride with which he carried himself filled me with some sort of excitement and drive for life – even if I didn’t know what I truly was at the time, Godzilla taught me that being strange, that being a monster was okay – and that I had every right to fight for that truth.

Even before I knew I was intersex, my burgeoning intersexual traits began to further remove me from the conventional human experience at a young age; into my early tween and teenage years, I continued to feel more and more inhuman and monstrous when I compared my body to that of other heteronormative people around me. In a way, the weirdness and uniqueness of my prepubescent form helped to push me even further into the fascination I held for Godzilla, as he too had a strange and one-off form; in almost every timeline and interpretation of Godzilla, there was nobody just like him, just as there was nobody I knew that was just like me.

I found this melancholic fact of Godzilla’s existence exemplified best in what would become my favorite film of the now 70-year-old franchise – the sequel to Godzilla’s triumphant return to cinema in Toho’s Return of Godzilla, a movie that often goes under the radar when the filmography of the atomic giant is discussed by critics and fans alike: the 1989 Heisei timeline piece, Godzilla vs. Biollante, directed by Kazuki Ōmori.

The incredible poster art for Godzilla vs. Biollante, illustrated by Noriyoshi Ohrai.

In this film (which is a fresh continuity, separate from the sequel films of the 1960's and 1970's), Godzilla - who is played now by Kenpachiro Satsuma - has returned closer to his roots in Ishiro Honda's original 1954 Godzilla as a more antagonistic figure, a monster whose roots as a radiated being damaged by human overuse of atomic technology granted him a level of humanlike sentience, a certain malignance towards the human race on account of their meddling with nature, and a bodily form that humans find grotesque, monstrous, and highly destructive. This Godzilla is frequently alluded to by the human cast of this Heisei timeline as being humanlike in his emotions, even described as being "capable of more emotion than we can show it," (Ōmori, Godzilla vs. Biollante, 1989) and more than capable of showing human sentiments, behaviors, and thoughts in the way he acts on the world around him.

As a child, the Heisei timeline of films began for me with the Godzilla vs. Biollante film, which my papa bought for me on VHS - a copy I still own to this day. I remember seating myself on a vintage IU Bloomington beanbag in front of my cousin's mid-90's Toshiba CRT television with the VHS whining away in the build-in recorder, the grainy picture coming to life with strange imagery of cells under a microscope, all the while with a haunting thematic motif playing over the surreal opening credits. My childhood self was utterly transfixed by the unconventional opening to the film - it reminded me instantly of the frightening imagery of the original 1954 Godzilla, or that of the surrealist arthouse film, Godzilla vs. Hedorah, from 1971.

Microscope view of cells undergoing mitosis; similar footage is used in the title credits of Godzilla vs. Biollante.

The human plot began with a race from multiple organizations to acquire skin samples from Godzilla's 1984 rampage in order to genetically modify crops to solve world hunger; the doctor leading the project - Dr. Genshiro Shiragami, played by Koji Takahashi - ends up losing his daughter, Erika, in a terrorist conflict which sought to acquire those samples from his laboratory, thus falling into a deep depression that inflicts him with some degree of psychosis, directly impacting his work.

In the process, Dr. Shiragami becomes a monster himself by merging the cells of his deceased daughter, the petals of a rose bush, and the cell samples from Godzilla into a single entity - a being he believes will live in perpetuity, endlessly replenished by Godzilla's irradiated, forever regenerating cells, keeping his daughter, Erika, "alive," (Ōmori, Godzilla vs. Biollante, 1989).

Even as a child, this plot rang a bell of resounding understanding from deep within my soul; I felt my own entrapping body being a reflection of Erika's newfound form within the conglomerate being, a woman (just as I felt as a trans child) trapped within a creature of multifaceted and eventually monstrous construction. I was no longer comparing my bodily condition - my ever evolving 'illness narrative' - with just Godzilla himself; I began to see myself in what would become his main foe of the film:

Biollante.

Miki Saegusa (Megumi Odaka) surveys Dr. Shiragami's rose bush, noting the psychic presence of Erika Shiragami's soul within the plant.

Biollante began as a simple combination of living things - a sample from Erika Shiragami (portrayed by Yasuko Sawaguchi), a sample from the roses, and a sample from Godzilla's tissue. From this unruly combination of life, Biollante would grow and mutate into what the human cast could only see as a being of grotesque and terrifying proportions - a monster.

They could no longer see the woman that had no say in becoming a part of the whole being; Erika was no longer 'there' as the police forces and JSDF faced off with the growing behemoth, which steadily grows over the first act of the film into a hulking titan of plant mass, with a massive rose head eventually rising out of Lake Ashinoko, near the doctor's laboratory.

The only people who could still see a woman from within a body of such titanic and terrifying proportions were that of Miki Saegusa (played by Megumi Odaka) a psychic who was empathetic to the plight of Earthly monsters, Dr. Shiragami, who became terrified of Erika's monstrous body, and that of Godzilla himself, who heard Biollante's wailing cries and broke free of his volcanic prison in order to investigate this creature that reminded him so dearly of himself (Ōmori, Godzilla vs. Biollante, 1989).

Rose Form Biollante's haunting cries, which were edited sound bytes of humpback whales performing songs in the Pacific Ocean.

The wailing cries of Biollante's "Rose Form" haunted me as a child, where they reminded me of a woman's cry; she sounded like she was in terrible pain, entrapped within a conglomerate body, unable to control what she had been suddenly reborn into. This form reminded me of the inherent transness of my childhood body, where I knew I wanted to be a girl, but couldn't yet escape the societal and familial expectations that forced me to stay repressed within the androgynous, boyish form of my hermaphroditic physical self.

This tied to my current feelings on the monstrous transgender self, and where the origins of this pride came from; as Susan Stryker believed that the transgender form was "unnatural," (Stryker, 240) but did not mean so with negativity - rather, she meant that there was innate beauty in its human-led construction, as being trans required the act of doing, of modifying - of playing a naturalized wargame with one's own self, just like Dr. Shiragami had done in constructing the amalgam behemoth that would become Biollante, or how the atomic bombs of World War II and their subsequent atomic tests of the 1940's created the mutated mass of the original Godzilla.

In a similar fashion to how Stryker referred to her own "monstrous" transgender body as being proudly "unnatural, a product of medical science, a technological construction: it is flesh torn apart and sewn together again in a shape other than that in which it was born," (Stryker, 239) I too began to look at my own form in such a way - as something much alike Biollante, but far freer; instead of being trapped within the monster, I was the monster in its entirety - a being I crafted myself, modifying my already unconventional hermaphroditic body into a feminine form more befitting the shape of my soul, a craft of "medical science" (Stryker, 239) that I could mold with my own hands.

In a way, I now feel more like a freed form of Biollante, where the monstrousness is not a negative attribute, but rather a natural part of who I am, and a natural part of the evolution of my selfhood as an intersexual and transsexual woman - the natural progression of my very own illness and bodily narrative becoming an acceptance of the monster, therefore freeing me from my fear of perception.

As Biollante's frightening Rose Form towered out of the lake, Dr. Shiragami notes his fear in what would happen if Godzilla encountered the newborn monster - fearing that the King of the Monsters would kill his daughter, all the while not realizing that what Biollante wanted was precisely that - the freedom of death. Unlike my current body, which I have found peace and pride in, Erika's conglomerate form inside of Biollante was extremely painful, with her soul constantly vying for supremacy amongst the constantly regenerating cells from Godzilla's skin sample. Erika was entrapped within a body that was not her own - a transgender allegory that essentially writes itself, the notion of a woman trapped within a man's body, or a man trapped within a woman's. In this case, Erika was trapped within what she and most of the world would view as a monster - much like how the world in reality seems to view the transgender experience as being "particularly monstrous," (Kallin, 54).

Biollante's Rose Form rises from Lake Ashinoko.

As Godzilla finally manages to evade the JSDF's attacks and finds himself face to face with Biollante's Rose Form, he acts almost curious, with his normally angry, vengeful, and destructive tendencies put aside for a moment as he considers the form of Biollante: for once, the King of the Monsters is rendered awe-struck, as he faces off with a creature so alike him, made from the same skin as him, a being that struggled with being alive just as much as he had. At first, Godzilla does not attack the wailing Biollante; he simply stares and groans at her, and the film's focus on Godzilla during this scene seems to clue in the audience that Godzilla understands why Biollante called him here - yet, he does not have the will to kill her and "set her free," as he has lived his entire life without a peer to share in this intimate experience of being a monster.

The filming of Godzilla's first fight with Biollante.

With Godzilla transfixed by the sight of Biollante, the rose kaiju seems to realize that he likely wouldn't attack her without additional impetus; as a result, the conglomerate might of Biollante launches an attack, sending her tendrils of snakelike plant limbs to assault Godzilla, attempting to choke him and even drilling through one of his hands. Engulfed in pain and stress from this sudden turmoil, Godzilla realizes that Biollante won't let him spare her - and he goes on the offensive. By doing so, Godzilla has agreed to give Biollante what "she" wants - what Erika wants - by 'freeing' her from the monstrous prison she finds herself suddenly reborn into, something that Godzilla himself could not escape from (Ōmori, Godzilla vs. Biollante, 1989).

In a twisted sense of dichotomous experience, I have always looked at this fight as being such a heartbreaking allegory for the transgender and intersexual bodily experience. Godzilla and Biollante are cut from the same cloth, monsters born from human follies, their bodies seen as monstrous, grotesque, and inhuman; they are vilified by humanity, seen as outcasts and unable to be humanized. Godzilla is cursed with his regeneration and essential immortality, unable to die and unable to free himself from the bodily pain he lives in as a direct result of human usage of atomic bombs; Biollante is a being forged from the misuse of scientific knowledge - a creature of agony, birthed from a concoction of human grief (Dr. Shiragami) and human greed (the terrorists who killed Erika). The two of them are full of strife, of struggle, and of bodily agony; they both sought freedom in the only way they knew how, with Godzilla acting out in rage and destruction, and Biollante wailing and hunting for death, so that Erika could be freed from the conglomerate being.

As I got into my teenage years and learned not just of my intersexuality, but also of the full brunt of my transsexuality, I found myself looking back on this scene with more and more interest. As Stryker later discusses in “My Words to Victor Frankenstein Above the Village of Chamonix–Performing Transgender Rage,” there is an idea of "great change" and "heralded transformation of the future" that occurs with the great coming of a monster - and it began to dawn on me that this scene is a fantastic representation of this very experience, that Biollante's constantly mutating, ever-changing form clashing with the unleashing of Godzilla's rage upon her are heralds of this "great transgender change" (Stryker, 240) the fact that a monster's arrival is an omen of transition, as Godzilla himself 'transitions' into a vanquisher of entrapment rather than solely a vengeful destroyer, and Biollante continuously becomes more and more Godzilla-ish as she uncontrollably mutates along her quest for bodily freedom.

As such, Godzilla and Biollante both become symbols of transgender entrapment in this one scene alone, as their clashing bodies represent two sides of the transgender spectrum of entrapment - on one side, Godzilla represents the ability to change, though an inability to fully find the willpower to 'transition' in order to find his very own "bodily freedom", (Kallin, 58), and on the other, Biollante represents the horror of the purely bodily form of entrapment, being (quite literally) the trans allegory of a "woman trapped within the wrong body," (Goldin-Perschbacher, 775), unable to help herself or save herself, instead wishing for death at the hands of the only creature capable of such an act: Godzilla.

In a burst of blue atomic fire, Godzilla manages to use his "nuclear pulse" ability to engulf Biollante's limb tendrils in flames, freeing himself from her attack; in a vain attempt to protect herself, the Godzilla cell side of Biollante raises her limbs to protect the "core" of her body, which ends up fruitless as Godzilla unleashes the full power of his atomic breath on her main body, blossoming the rose kaiju in a torrent of flames as her body begins to disintegrate into yellow, lamp like spores.

With a wailing cry, the Rose Form of Biollante ascends into the clouds in the form of those spores; at first glance, the human characters believe that Biollante - and, by extension, Erika - have been "freed" from their mortal coil; in the end, this is not the case. The G-cell components of Biollante react violently to the energy-dense explosion of Godzilla's atomic breath, and begin to vehemently regenerate themselves, further mutating the ascendant form of Biollante into a monster that would drive fear into the heart of even Dr. Shiragami himself:

The Monstrous "Final Form" of Biollante.

Biollante's monstrous "Final Form", a bestial plant that has shed her more human and rose-like components in favor of appearing much more Godzilla-like.

As a child, the Final Form of Biollante gave me horrific nightmares; I was utterly terrified of her sudden growth into a hulking, almost demonic figure - a figure that towered over the already humongous stature of Godzilla himself. Final Form Biollante's roar was twisted and made far grittier than her time as the Rose, more like the death rattle of a dying man, or the screaming rage of a wounded woman; it is made clear to the audience that Erika is no longer in control of the behemoth she finds herself trapped within, as the G-cell components of Biollante have fully taken control, their rage at humanity coalescing in a need to clash all the more violently with Godzilla.

When I entered my twenties, I was constantly filled with self-hatred and a sense of anger at everything around me, just as Godzilla was with humanity (Honda, Godzilla, 1954) and Biollante was with her newfound form. I was filled with a rage that I couldn't begin to describe at the time - but, looking back on it now, it was a rage really directed at the entirety of my body. I hated my transness, as well as my struggling notion of my burgeoning intersexual identity; I hated how my body had always been different, and had always been objectified and othered; I hated that I had to describe myself as a "monster" or a "Frankenstein of parts," (Stryker, 239) to find some semblance of pride in myself. I began to write heinously about twisted desires of wanting a hegemonic body, one that was born "normal"; it was the violent "final throws" of myself shedding the remainder of my heteronormative beliefs that had been drilled into my over the years of my original boyhood.

Stryker's notion of the unnatural, Frankenstein's monster ideal of trans acceptance (Stryker, 230-249) was not within the realm of my capabilities at the time; however, it was this movie and its clashing of transgender experiences and allegories through Godzilla and Biollante that helped me discover this truth - that having a body of "monstrous", nonnormative form is not a detriment or a means to which I could truly hate myself - rather, I have to keep on living (just as Godzilla does) with a sense of pride and happiness, as it is the only way that I can find freedom.

As Godzilla faces off with the terrifying Final Form of Biollante, he wavers only slightly before standing in resolution against her; even though he grows weaker and weaker by the minute due to the JSDF's attacks on him from the interim period between his fight with Rose Biollante and Final Form Biollante, Godzilla still stands toe-to-toe with Biollante, all in an effort to free both Biollante and Erika from their bodily suffering - something that Godzilla cannot yet do for himself.

Watching Godzilla face off with Biollante's screaming, wailing Final Form is not just a tremendous display of Toho's incredible suitmation capabilities of the time, but also a beautiful display of Godzilla's willingness to keep on fighting, even with the world against him. In a way, Godzilla represents the ultimate core of transness at this point, as he fights a far bigger, far more powerful foe in an effort to set his enemy "free", and assist in transitioning her to a new form of life - a freer, happier life, no longer enchained by a body that entraps her.

Though their fight becomes bloody and brutal, the weakening Godzilla manages to land a fatal blow on Biollante through firing an atomic breath through her mouth; in doing so, he manages to separate Erika's soul from the conglomerate being, allowing the spores of the Godzilla side of Biollante to float up and away into the Earth's atmosphere to become a "freer, more complete" being (Ōmori, Godzilla vs. Biollante, 1989) and the Erika side of Biollante to manifest one last time in a blindingly bright image of Dr. Shiragami's daughter, before her soul transitions to the afterlife, finally free from her father's act of entrapment.

Watching Erika's soul be freed from her bodily entrapment as Biollante was a scene that always made me cry, even now as an adult; with the gorgeous "Erika" theme (composed by the incredible Koichi Sugiyama, who helped direct the movie) playing sonorously in the background as Godzilla mournfully roars for his fallen enemy. I always saw myself in Erika, especially as her human form appears in a blinding light from the decaying body of the monstrous Biollante; while she is no longer human, her soul has become something new, transitioned into a higher plane of being; a plane of existence I never believed I could reach, especially as a child. Erika's transition to a freed human soul and Biollante's transition to a wispy, gentle form of life reminded me of my desire to become a woman as a child, and even as a teenager; I always desired what Erika managed to grasp - a new form of life, a life that she was formerly enchained away from, unable to access and indulge in. This great monstrous "change" is indicative too of Stryker's notion of the monster's desire to change, (Stryker, 240) to transition the world around them, to transition themselves into something new, something accepted by the world; in a way, I have now both accepted and defied this view, becoming a woman proud of her monstrous body, but also one willing and accepting of change in the world around me.

Even so, I now find myself indulging more in the notions of Stryker's belief in the cacophony of "monstrous transness" - I now see myself not just as a transgender reflection of Godzilla, of Erika, and of Biollante's freedom, but also that of the monstrous forms themselves; when I see Biollante's wailing rage as she fights vigorously against her human attackers and Godzilla, I see myself, fighting against an oppressive society; when I hear Godzilla's mournful roar as he weeps at the sight of Biollante's remnant rose fields, I hear myself, crying as I managed to nick myself with a facial razor at 4 in the morning on a school night, desperate for a "good enough" shave so that I can "pass" for the next day.

I can see the full spectrum of my transness, of my intersexness, of my entire being all through the struggles of these monsters I grew to love like my family. Like Godzilla and Biollante, I too struggle with the feelings of bodily entrapment; I too sometimes feel so overwhelmed by a world that hates people like me that I wish I could unleash my own atomic breath on the Marriott building in Indianapolis, just as Godzilla does when the world attacks him for the mere crime of existing. I too feel the drive to scream and wail for help and comfort, just as the Rose Form of Biollante did as she waded out into the empty, foggy Ashinoko Lake, alone and frightened of her nonconventional form.

When I have my intersex periods, where I'm forced to bleed through a more conventionally male uterus and have cramps that make my body feel like its engulfed in flames, I think of Biollante, and how Erika's wailing cries were her call for help amidst a turmoil of bodily agony; when I accidentally cut my face in the shower as I work my body to the bone in an effort to present a passing performance of conventional femininity for the world, I think of Godzilla, his hands bleeding with Biollante's blood, his face covered in the murky brine of Lake Ashinoko and the salty tang of his own grieving tears.

Godzilla vs. Biollante is an underrated film of the 70-year-old franchise, a film that encompasses the themes of bodily entrapment and feminine enclosure all in a package of surrealist, atmospheric beauty; in every scene, I grew to see a means of transness hidden away in the corners, in the way Godzilla's anger brews against the humans who hate him, in the way Biollante's wailing call struck the chords of my heart and drew tears from Godzilla's quivering eye.

This film is indicative not just of the transgender and intersexual experience, but of the extraordinary bodily experience - the feeling of being othered and forever enchained by a world who cannot accept a body so different from their basis of normalcy. Godzilla, as a King of Monsters, is thus a King of Deviants - a monster who fights for the freedom of the creatures who cannot be accepted by society. His championing of freedom, in both searching for freedom for himself and giving Biollante her own freedom, is a feeling at the cornerstone of the transgender ideal - that finding our own freedom is the basis of our lives, the core to which gives our souls meaning.

As a child who could not find a soul to protect me, to comfort me and support me, as a teenager whose tears were forgotten by family and hidden under preshrunk cotton sweatshirts, as a young woman whose fears grew into paranoia and whose pain turned into anger, Godzilla was always the only person who could give me comfort.

Even when he cried and mourned for his fallen enemy, I knew that he would stand up again and fight for another day to live as himself.

Even as Biollante ascended to the heavens, transitioned to a higher plane of existence while Godzilla stayed glued to the Earth, I knew he would keep fighting for the freedom to truly be at peace.

His mournful roar amidst the foggy cloud of a bleeding lake is a sound that permeates throughout my entire being, a noise that jumpstarts a cacophony of love and awe in the thrice-bandaged heart I call my own.

When I see Godzilla, I see myself: a struggler, destined to fight for their right to exist.

When I see myself, I see Godzilla: a monstrous form, othered by the world, seeking the truth to learn to love themselves.

And just like the Heisei Godzilla eventually finds the perfect form for himself, I too have managed to find freedom: I have finally learned to love who I am, for all my scars, for all my transness, for all my weird hermaphroditic pieces.

I love being a monster. I may never be like a cisgender human, and that's okay: I'm fine with being me, even with all my "monstrous change," (Stryker, 430) (Rowan, 3).

I have always found myself more at home with Godzilla anyway.

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"How long have we been living in such an age? Maybe it started when man first stepped out of the garden of Eden and left his innocence behind. Man would do well to remember this day, forever."

Erika Shiragami, the final lines of Godzilla vs. Biollante.

Thank you, Godzilla, King of the Monsters. You saved me, just like you saved her.

Writer's Statement

Godzilla has been the cornerstone of my life for as long as I can remember; he and the genre of tokusatsu have helped me discover the entirety of my personhood, from the depths of my transsexuality, to the inner workings of my intersexuality, and even to the boundaries of my sexuality and interests in the world around me.

I have long always admired him for the tenacity and drive that each interpretation of Godzilla carries with him; no matter the circumstances, no matter the battle, Godzilla will always keep getting back up, adamant to pursue what will bring him freedom.

As a woman of multifaceted constitution, I have always longed for the ability to do as Godzilla does - the ability to always keep moving forward, even in the face of unbelievable oppression. With my intersexuality, transsexuality, and copious health issues, I often find myself faced with what seems like a tireless, never-ending tirade of ill-fated events from life's toolbox of horrors; however, when I look to Godzilla, I see a means to escape from this cycle. When I look to Godzilla, I see an inspiration, a drive to keep on moving forward, to keep on loving myself and indulging myself in the pride of having a nonnormative body, a "monstrous" body, just as he has; I wish to act out against the world, just as he does, in an effort to show the world that they cannot oppress me, that they cannot stop me from living a life of pride - my vengeance, my pride, my happiness, it all fuels me, just as Godzilla is, too.

Even in my fragile body, I can feel the strength of Godzilla pushing me along, making me want to love the weirdness and the strangeness I was born with, and what I have created for myself through my transness.

With Godzilla, I feel like I can tackle anything, even the ever-evolving narrative of illness I face on a day-to-day life.

With Godzilla, I feel unstoppable, full of pride and joy in the community of transgender love I indulge in with my newfound family.

With Godzilla, I feel like me. Unequivocally me.

Authentically me.

[samisyy]

🎵 daisy/joohwan

chemtrails over the country club - lana del rey.

"Meet you for coffee at the elementary schools "We laugh about nothing as the summer gets cool It's beautiful how this deep normality settles down over me I'm not bored or unhappy, I'm still so strange and wild

You're in the wind, I'm in the water Nobody's son, nobody's daughter Watching the chemtrails over the country club Suburbia, The Brentwood Market What to do next? Maybe we'll love it White picket chemtrails over the country club."

[jovirealtyinc]

Looking to invest in townhouse & condominiums in Burnaby, Coquitlam and Port Moody?

An Overview of the Burnaby, Coquitlam and Port Moody Townhouse & Condo Market

The Burnaby, Coquitlam and Port Moody Townhouse/ Condo market is an attractive option for those looking to invest in real estate in the Lower Mainland. Burnaby, Coquitlam and Port Moody are vibrant communities with diverse housing options ranging from single-family homes to condos and townhomes. This overview will provide an insight into the current market trends, availability of units, prices, and other factors that affect the real estate market in these two cities. It will also discuss some of the benefits of investing in Burnaby, Coquitlam and Port Moody Townhouse & Condos.

Which Areas in Burnaby, Coquitlam and Port Moody are Best for Investing in Townhouse & Condos?

Investing in townhouse /condos in Burnaby, Coquitlam and Port Moody can be a great option for those looking to buy a first time home or down sizing or investors who looking to rent out condos. Both cities have many areas that are ideal for investing in townhome /condos, offering potential buyers a variety of options.

Burnaby is the third largest city in BC. It's stunning natural beauty and abundance of green space give it a unique identity. Brentwood and Metrotown offer a metropolitan city life with very tall hi rises with breathtaking views and each of the club amenities in the building. You can never be bored here. 

Willingdon heights, South slope and Edmonds are happy neighbourhoods which offer a perfect blend of sports, shopping, grocery stores and have easy access to skytrains making travel to Downtown offices effortless.

When it comes to Central / West Coquitlam, the neighbourhoods around Lougheed Town Centre and Burquitlam are great choices for buying a townhome / hi rise condos. These areas offer plenty of amenities and have easy access to public transportation, they offer a very city kind of living with beautiful parks for outdoor sports. They have the best day care schools, elementary and secondary schools. Sport facilities in the Y.M.C.A are unmatchable. There are beautiful and affordable hi rises in these two vibrant and very happening locations. There is a Wallmart at walking distance, Lougheed shopping mall which has every thing you need and a range of restaurants, this perfect mix, makes it a poplar residential area for people from metropolitan cities.

In Port Moody, the neighbourhoods around Newport Village, Suter Brook Village are all excellent options for investing in townhouse or HI RISE condos. These areas offer plenty of outdoor activities as well as being close to shopping centres and other essential services. They have good schools, parks and a mix of ethnicity. This location feels more relaxed and like a like a holiday destination, almost feeling like life is a vacation. The Inlet station skytrain is within walkable distance.

The white pine beach close by is very popular amongst Americans who wanna have a quick short break.

There are gorgeous waterfront mansions all over Port Moody.

Whether you’re looking for an investment property or a place to call home, these two cities provide plenty of opportunities when it comes to buying a townhome or condo. With careful research and due diligence, you can find the perfect place to invest.

What are the Pros & Cons to Investing in a Townhome versus a Condo?

Investing in a townhome or hi rise/ low rise condo can be a great way to get into the real estate market. Both offer certain advantages and depending on your needs and preferences. To make an informed decision, it is important to consider the pros and cons of investing in either type of property. Luckily, with Jeevikka Shah, your real estate expert, you can find out what’s best for you keeping your goals a priority. Call me today!

[mermaidinthecity]

Meet you for coffee at the elementary schools. We laugh about nothing as the summer gets cool. It's beautiful how this deep normality settles down over me. I'm not bored or unhappy, I'm still so strange and wild. You're in the wind, I'm in the water. Nobody's son, nobody's daughter. Watching the chemtrails over the country club. Suburbia, The Brentwood Market. What to do next? Maybe we'll love it. White picket chemtrails over the country club.

Chemtrails Over The Country Club by Lana Del Rey

[ha-bakbuk]

I'm on the run with you, my sweet love There's nothing wrong contemplating God Under the chemtrails over the country club Wearing our jewels in the swimming pool Me and my sister just playin' it cool Under the chemtrails over the country club

Take out your turquoise and all of your jewels Go to the market, the kids' swimming pools Baby, what's your sign? My moon's in Leo, my Cancer is sun

You won't play, you're no fun Well, I don't care what they think Drag racing my little red sports car I'm not unhinged or unhappy, I'm just wild

I'm on the run with you, my sweet love There's nothing wrong contemplating God Under the chemtrails over the country club Wearing our jewels in the swimming pool Me and my sister just playin' it cool Under the chemtrails over the country club

Meet you for coffee At the elementary schools We laugh about nothing As the summer gets cool It's beautiful, how this deep Normality settles down over me I'm not bored or unhappy I'm still so strange and wild

You're in the wind, I'm in the water Nobody's son, nobody's daughter Watching the chemtrails over the country club Suburbia, The Brentwood Market What to do next? Maybe we'll love it White picket, chemtrails over the country club

My love, my love Washing my hair, doing the laundry Late night TV, I want you on me Like when we were kids Under chemtrails and country clubs It's never too late, baby, so don't give up

It's never too late, baby, so don't give up Under the chemtrails over the country club (You're born in the December, I'm born in June) Yeah Under the chemtrails over the country club (You're born in the December, I'm born in June)

Yeah, my Cancer is sun and my Leo is moon My Cancer is sun and my Leo is moon

“Shed every notion about yourself. Shed every belief. Shed every notion about love. Shed it all, as quickly as possible. Go back to being innocent. Then there’s no need to know anything; you will be informed of anything you need to know.”

— BARRY LONG 

[aroundfortwayne]

Community members take leadership role in Principal for a Day

New Post has been published on https://aroundfortwayne.com/news/2022/10/13/community-members-take-leadership-role-in-principal-for-a-day/

Community members take leadership role in Principal for a Day

Fort Wayne Community Schools welcomes 54 community members into our schools to serve as guest principals for the annual Principal for a Day event.

[joeygallagher]

Eric Dressen

Wallride - Kenter Canyon Elementary School  

photo by

Chuck Katz  (1987)

[lboogie1906]

LeToya Nicole Luckett (born March 11, 1981) is a singer-songwriter and actress. She rose to fame in the late 1990s as a founding member of Destiny’s Child. As a member of Destiny’s Child, she achieved four US Top 10 hit singles, “No, No, No”, “Bills, Bills, Bills”, “Say My Name” and “Jumpin’, Jumpin’”, and won two Grammy Awards. In the 2000s, she began her solo career after leaving the group and signing a record deal with Capitol Records. Her solo debut album, LeToya, debuted at #1 on the US Billboard 200 chart and was certified platinum by the RIAA.

The lead single, “Torn”, reached the Top 40 in the US and set records on BET’s top ten countdowns show 106 & Park. She was awarded Top Songwriter at the ASCAP Rhythm and Soul Awards and was nominated for Outstanding New Artist at the NAACP Image Awards. She released a second solo album, Lady Love, which debuted at #1 on the US Top R&B/Hip-Hop Albums chart.

She was born in Houston. She is the older of two children. She grew up singing in her local Brentwood Baptist Church. She took vocal lessons to become an opera singer. She married motivational speaker Rob Hill Sr. (2016). She married entrepreneur Tommicus Walker (2017-2021). They have two children.

She has since become an actress. She landed a leading role in the movie Preacher’s Kid. She was part of the cast of the feature films Killers and From the Rough, as well as starring on the second season of Treme, and on the third season of Single Ladies. She had a recurring role on Greenleaf. She most recently starred in Line Sisters.

She released her third studio album, Back 2 Life, her first independent release, which peaked at number four on the US Independent Albums chart. The album was preceded by two singles—“Back 2 Life” and “Used To”. She has sold over 25 million records with Destiny’s Child on the group’s first two albums and singles.

She was given the chance to sing her first solo at the age of five. “The lady just gave me the mic one Sunday and I sang,” she recalled. She joined the children’s choir and began performing in plays at her elementary school. #africanhistory365 #africanexcellence #womenshistorymonth