stayed up until 5 am last night and decided before sleeping that i needed to make a chasing amy x challengers edit…it’s been 4 whole hours and i think it’s my best work yet. If that says anything about my mental state
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I have decided I want a new hobby, especially since I am going to be leaving my job beginning of April. I have tried quite a few things but the things I have tried have caused pain in my hands. My new endeavor is digital doodling and drawing cute little things. I downloaded a few tutorials and I have mostly been tracing things but I have also been trying to draw without tracing. I am having fun! I would love to create a little icon? little guy? cute little creature? to make buttons out of. I think that would be so cute 🥰 Anyway as someone who cannot draw, I am having fun and I think I’m doing okay too!
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I should start a pickle-logue.
Finishing up small batches pickles:
beets in allspice, clove and cinnamon
daikon with red carrots, ginger, sweet peppers, a touch of hot red pepper seed, hint of mustard and ginger with a splash of apple cider vinegar
fancy cauli mix with ginger (purple cauli, white cauli and that space alien broc-cauli mix thing) and sweet peppers, corriander, mustard
small purple brussel sprouts in red wine vinegar (plus lots of white to keep acid up) and corriander and a tiny bit of all spice berry with mustard
I was going to do a small batch of fancy kraut in ginger and mustard but the cabbage I got has mildew inside from some sort a wire worm bore hole thing and aphids. Too tired to pick through it all at this late hour. The kitchen is warm and steamy after all that hot water bath processing.
Tomorrow I am hoping to pickle some pumpkin and do a batch of pumpkin-apple butter
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hi liv, i wanted to get your advice on something. lately i’ve been loving my f/os ofc as usual, thinking abt them etc. however the thought always arrives that i can’t feel these love feelings, because they would not love me, due to my self esteem and self image being defeatingly low right now. i feel so locked into this cycle i don’t know how to stop it even though i want to. i crave validation from others that these characters would love me but don’t really talk to a lot of people i could share that with and i know that i’m the only one who can make myself believe it and accept it at the end of the day.
thank you for taking the time to read this!!! hope you are well <333
💗 hi hi hi!!! 💗
anon, you are not alone in this. i have been here!!! i'm still here sometimes!!! it's something that my therapist and i have been talking about a lot lately, and i wanna tell you what she's told me!!!
when you say 'i know that i'm the only one who can make myself believe it,' you're right. it is a beautiful thing to receive support and encouragement and validation from others, and it is human to crave that!!! there is nothing wrong with you for craving that!!! but if we rely solely on other people for it, we will always be searching. it will never be enough. which is why we have to cultivate that support and encouragement and validation within ourselves.
which is hard!!! especially when your self esteem isn't the best!!! when you're locked in the cycle, sometimes it feels like you'll be locked in the cycle forever. like it's hopeless. but you won't be!!! it's not!!!
we just have to make the effort. we have to tell ourselves that we are worthy and deserving of love. we have to tell ourselves that we love ourselves. that we choose ourselves. that we will always have ourselves to come home to. we have to meet those negative thoughts and ask them why they visit instead of allowing them to move in.
and we have to remember that it's a journey. it's a process. we won't believe ourselves right away, and it won't sink in overnight. that's okay. we have to do it anyway. it's like building a habit, we have to do it over and over and over again. and we will have bad days where we do it and we don't believe it, or where we don't do it at all. we will have days where we feel great and we will have days where it feels like we've made no progress at all. but eventually we will get there.
anon, i'm so sorry that you're feeling the way that you're feeling right now. i know it's hard and it's devastating, but it won't always be like this. you won't always feel this way. everything you are searching for is already with you, already inside you, and one of these days you will be able to feel it. and until you do!!! know that you are not alone in this!!! know that you are loved and deserving of that love, regardless of if you believe it or not!!!
i am sending you the biggest hug!!! we are doing this together!!! i am proud of you for being so honest and vulnerable and i am beyond grateful that you trust me enough to open up to me!!! it's all gonna be okay!!! 💗
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Bottled Water Processing Market: Size, Share, Industry Growth, and Trends Report
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