#Both days which everyone says is nice but I just don't like the idea of working a 6 am to 6 pm shift oof

[twin-wxngs]

Woah, these are really creative and interesting ships! Like in a very good way, ofc, I haven’t seen much on these.

Sooooo….

What’s your thoughts on the trio (Dogday x Simon x Allister), Catnap x Toullie and Poppy x Bunzo?

Dude. Thank you, first of all, for sending this and being genuinely curious. Second of all...

YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'VE DONE. YOU WILL HEAR ME YAP.

1. Poppy and Bunzo! Okay, so at first when I was thinking about them, I was thinking of them as something platonic right? You know the whole deal with kids shows and having an animal companion, namely Dora with Boots, her cousin Diego with that Baby Jaguar, etc. But the more I thought about it the more I took a look at them aaaaand...

Thoughts of Jessica and Roger Rabbit came into my head. All because Poppy and Jessica are redheads. But using that lovely romance as a base, made me think the reason they work together is that Poppy would constantly stress herself out in my opinion. Bunzo however would see this and do what he's known to do, and make her laugh.

He's probably the only one that can tone down her seriousness and help her calm herself because she's busy worrying. It'd be this fun loving prankster that'd teach her how to look at the bright side of things. He makes her laugh, as Jessica would say. But I think Poppy would say that too and genuinely care and appreciate him for it.

And in Bunzo's case he probably did take one look at her and had an awooga moment, but instead of needing to impress her, which probably weirded her out, she just plainly tells him when they do start as friends that he just needs to be himself. And well, I can see it working out.

2. Catnap and Touille! Two tropes: Cat and Rodent. And then.. Yapper and Listener. I blame this guy for making me like it! @smilingcrittersthingig

But more on that, I like to think the part of Touille's character is that he's street smart and knows obscure things the others don't know, hence he's Bubba counterpart in that department, as they're both exceedingly knowledgeable in their own way. But the problem with Touille, like Bubba, tends to go on for a bit too much, that he never gets to talk about the things he likes around them and refrains from it.

But I can see Catnap being not only patient with him, but one of the only people that would actively listen to his rambles because he's heard it from Bubba. Unlike Bubba though, it would be different from what Catnap is used to hearing because it's not something that's brought up every day, especially if it's about your not too typical, obscure thing that can be used in an unconventional way, but still works. Touille has a collection of junk that he treasures in that regard that he doesn't show anyone, but I think he'd show Catnap.

Though I like to also think they started as enemies since they're in different groups, with Touille being a bit scared and attracted to said cat at the same time. But I can see Catnap thinking it's cute that he's scared too. He's a mischievous cat after all, and they like to "play with their food". So while he does scare him from time to time, it's ultimately lighthearted and he loves his little rat boyfriend.

3. THE POLY. LISTEN, I love all three of them. It originally started as SunCross and I still love SunCross a LOT, thanks to this idiot. @smilingcrittersthingig

BUT I FIGURED I'd throw a curveball. The reason being is that of Dogday's nature in comparison to the two Nightmare Critters. My thought process for this is Simon's greedy and selfish nature, compared to Allister who's laid back and lazy. I feel like Dogday would unintentionally get them both attracted to him when he decides to help them both get through their bad habits.

What attracts them is the way he acts. He has to be a leader, but people mistake this as him only being nice, but that's not the case. He's firm, he's to the point, and has to look out for everyone in the Smiling Critters as the Everyman, meaning he acts more serious than friendly. He's respectful, not friendly, but has a big friendly side. That soft side of his that helps the two slowly improve is what attracts them to him. And on top of that, it's how they treat Dogday that really puts the poor doggo in a chokehold.

Simon would proudly take him wherever he wants to go, buy him whatever he wants, and make it clear to everyone that this is his boyfriend with no shame, showing his love through material appreciation, but still meaning every word he says along with it, because what's the point of money if the one thing you want isn't made of money? At that point, it's something to be used to make that person happy. Although Dogday says money isn't everything, Simon at least thinks money can be used for something.. and if it can be used to make Dogday his, then he will do it. And upon him seeing him using his money for someone else other than himself would really make him appreciate it..

Allister meanwhile had a problem with his lack of effort and motivation, but I like to think a date would be where he tries to put everything he can into it, even if it's not much. He doesn't like all the attention, would pick a location just for him and Dogday to be alone. He'd prepare everything with a little help from say Bobby and/or Rabie to see what he likes, and would even get him a gift. And even though it's not much, he tried. The effort is there, and the doggo would wholeheartedly appreciate it. Although he didn't do much, he's trying. Dogday sees that and ends up just blushing hard.

So when it comes to choosing between Simon and Allister, he hits them with the "I choose both" and lets him hear him out on it, explaining that he can't imagine his life without either of them, because the two also taught him how to be himself, take breaks and relax, and share the obscure things he likes and knows how to do that he didn't get to show with the Smiling Critters.

And overtime, his love of the two would rub off on them and see the merits in the others (opposites attract yay!), with the three becoming a polycule. As a friend did say..

Simon with his two trophy boyfriends, Allister with the two people that he thinks are way too good for him, and Dogday with the two people that he helped improve, but helped improve him too.

[miriani-lavellan]

Ahh, Lucanis. So let me first say, his scenes make total sense and I'm happy with what we got - we all want more from our faves, but they did manage to compact a lot of trauma and resolution in some fairly compact quests. Here's what I think happened that wasn't made explicitly clear though:

Lucanis chooses the pantry to sleep in because he's been imprisoned and tortured for a year, and he's not ready to leave captivity yet, not inside his head. He locks himself in there because it's familiar misery to him, which is easier to deal with than scary freedom.

Lucanis' letter to Rook before he asks Emmrich to bring Zara back for questioning tells us he's suicidal at that point, and probably has been for a while. Spite, however, doesn't see him as a lost cause - he never uses that to take over Lucanis' body entirely. This is so interesting to me, when we know things like that pretty famously happen all the time in Thedas. He's determined to keep Lucanis alive - and he asks for Rook's help in doing so.

We are in the NORTH now BABY! Attitudes towards spirits and demons are different here, especially in Rivain, and it seems with our Rook too, who never expresses any chantry-esque hang ups (that I've seen). Seer Rowan greets Spite as Determination, and that's how he's introduced by Isabela (with some excitement) if you fight in the hall of Valor. What happened to Spite is just as sad as what happened to Lucanis. He was violated, perhaps corrupted, and definitely trapped - and hurts Lucanis sometimes in his frustration. But, I think he likes Lucanis! He's his host's little head gremlin, and I think the relationship they have (that we don't see too much of) is healthier than any of the possessed individuals we've seen before.

Because? Lucanis is not a spiteful person. He wants revenge, yes, and he's angry, but he doesn't hurt everyone around him because he's in pain. One of the first things he does when he becomes part of the team is go shopping for them. And despite how Ilario and Caterina have hurt him - and you can argue all day whether he's right to be like this - he still cares for them.

I think that when we help Lucanis leave the prison inside his head, we are helping Spite to return to his original nature as Determination just a little more. We're determined to help our friend, and you know what? Spite is too. For himself, firstly, because Lucanis's pain is hurting him, but in the end, he's done it for Lucanis too. There's an argument there that Determination didn't get corrupted at all - just hurt, and that Lucanis, with his loving nature, has been keeping him from turning into a mindless demon of pain.

I thought for a long time that when Lucanis breaks away from kissing Rook, it was because Spite said something horrible to him. But actually, I think it was Lucanis himself, remembering how trapped he is. Thinking about the eventuality of killing himself - I strongly suspect that's what he was thinking about before he fell asleep, and that's why Spite was trying to go walkabout - trying to get out from where Lucanis can't. Lucanis got lost in the moment, but of course he doesn't want to drag Rook into that.

Lucanis making dessert for Rook and thinking that's the same as asking them out (but not actually asking them out) is so completely on brand for him I laughed. He has no idea what he's doing. It would have been nice, though, for Rook to reply to one of the companion's 'so you're together?' banters with... 'we are?' Or for Rook to be able to ask him. Unfortunately, we don't get those convos where we can spam ask questions etc like in DA:I - I did wonder if that got cut and we missed some resolution to that.

Lucanis gives no shits about everyone knowing he's Rook's love interest. He's not ashamed of himself or scared he'll hurt them - Rook has helped both him and Spite. And judging by the way Spite's wings come out to embrace Rook as they kiss Lucanis, I suspect that Spite might love them, too.

[applejarjar]

Damn, ppl do this waiting for a job offer thing all the time?

[russo-woso]

I'm watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians and I'm slightly obsessed with the idea of Leah being with someone from that family who is so different from her family in the sense that she doesn't get involved in many arguments on the show, she's of course rich rich but doesn't spend all her money on designer things and donates to organisations and such which is how Leah met her through an event or something

So can I request where the team/Leah's friends meet R and are just like 'Now how tf have you come back from an event in America with a freaking KARDASHIAN as your girlfriend?!' 😂😂

You’re dating a Jenner? || Leah Williamson x KarJenner!reader

Masterlist

Summary You and Leah finally announced your relationship to Leah’s teammates

You weren't like your sisters, you never were.

Despite the similarity in wealth, you never spent it on designer clothes or Botox or multi million dollar houses like your sisters - instead spending it on charity and the less fortunate.

That was just one of the reasons you weren't similar, another obvious different being that you were into women, not men.

Although there were many differences, your profile was still just as high.

Invitations to many many red carpets still in your life.

You normally said no to quite a few of them - normally the big ones - but when one in England came through you decided to accept the invitation. You don't know why but you just had a good feeling about it.

You'd travelled to England the day before the event, your body full of nerves at the thought of the red carpet.

Despite growing up with fame, you still grew nervous at the thought of paparazzi.

Unbeknownst to you, there was a person that you met during the event that took your nerves away completely, that person being Leah Williamson.

You and Leah hit it off immediately and let's just say... you didn't end up in your hotel room that night.

The two of kept in contact, FaceTiming most nights.

Leah then made a visit out to America to see you and on the final night, she asked you to be her girlfriend.

You'd said yes of course.

That was six months ago now and since then, you'd told your family and close friends but there was one group of people you hadn't told yet - Leah's teammates.

Due to your fame, you both didn't know how her teammates were going to take it.

But as you and Leah were finalising you moving in with her, you figured you'd have to tell them sooner or later.

Which led Leah to organising team bonding night at her house.

The team were aware Leah had a girlfriend but they had no idea it was you.

When Leah told them team bonding was round hers, she also mentioned they'd be meeting her secret girlfriend for the first time.

That really seemed to get them excited, most of them eager to see who you were.

"You watch, it's going to be someone we know." Beth said to Steph as they pulled up on the driveway.

"Or someone famous. She's gonna be from the Kardashian's or another famous family." Steph added

"The Kardashian's? No Kardashian or Jenner would get with Leah." Beth joked. If only she knew.

A few other girls pulled up shortly after and soon enough the whole squad was on the doorstep waiting to be welcomed in.

"Do we even know how they met?" Kyra questioned, clearly talking about you and Leah.

"Apparently at some event."

"So she's also famous then." Vic pointed out, the team humming at the realisation.

The door opened and revealed Leah, she welcomed them in, all the girls trying not to make it obvious that they were looking around for another person in the house.

"She's upstairs getting ready, she won't be long." Leah told them, clearly knowing they were looking for you.

Everyone got settled when they heard footsteps coming down the stairs.

"Hi everyone." You said with a big smile, waving politely as their jaws dropped.

"Oh my god..." Alessia whispered

"Hiya, pretty girl." Leah said, bringing you onto her lap as she wrapped her arms around your waist.

"You're..."

"Y/N, nice to meet you all."

"They know who you are, baby." Leah laughed, watching her teammates reactions.

"I called it. I said it was a Kardashian or Jenner." Steph exclaimed. "And here's Beth saying Leah couldn't pull one."

"Hey!" Leah frowned at Beth, offended at her past words.

"I didn't know you actually could." Beth said, putting her hands up in defense. “Like how do you go to an event and end up coming back with a Karjenner?”

“Well…” Leah began, smirking at you, obviously remembering the night the two of you shared when you first met.

“Actually no! Don’t share!” Beth immediately shouted. “We don’t want to hear.”

“Is this a joke? Y/N it’s okay if you need some help. Leah’s got you held hostage doesn’t she? I’ll ring the police if you need me to.” Alessia told you, clearly not believing that one of her best friends was dating you.

“You don’t need to ring the police.” You smiled, resting your hand on Leah’s chest as you looked lovingly up at her. “We have to hide from le first and then ring the police.”

“Why are you targeting me too?” Leah gasped, gently hitting your arm as you smiled at her.

“You’re different from your sisters.” Kyra pointed out, you nodding and giving her a smile.

“I love them, don’t get me wrong, but money doesn’t interest me. I have a lot of it but I don’t need it. I’ve got all I need right here with me.” You told her, kissing Leah’s cheek.

Most of the girls awed at your response but there was one girl who still sat with her jaw wide open - Alessia.

“Are we still all aware Y/N Jenner is sat in the room with us?”

[uravitypng]

soulmate hanta who is completely oblivious to that fact that he is your soulmate. everybody is born with a soulmate mark, a scribble of words that are the first words your soulmate utters to you placed somewhere along your hip. hanta sero who is nonchalant and chill about things that he doesn't realise he's already met his soulmate. they met on the first day of ua and he didn't even notice, and you... well you noticed but how could you tell him.

everyone's going around introducing themselves, he doesn't introduce himself though. your bag was neatly tucked away under your desk, already ready to start class when hanta somehow tripped over it, he caught himself in the last minute

"fuck, that could've gone really bad." he grinned at you and you were too stunned to speak, your body felt warm, like fireworks exploding and the warmth left over from sparklers their bright vivid colours flowing through you, you found your soulmate. you didn't get the chance to reply to him, an authoritative voice started speaking, aizawa sensei, and then class started.

you tried really bad to talk to him but he oozed of confidence and friendless, if the roles were reversed and you tripped over his bag you don't even think you would of been able to say something, you'd probably just rush off in embarrassment. he jokes around with everyone and you fade away in the background, you didn't even mean to, it wasn't your intention, you told yourself that when you started ua and started the hero course you'd put yourself out there more but that changed when the idea of talking to your soulmate was so daunting.

soulmate hanta who lays in his hammock with his arm of his face, groaning because you are just so adorable! and you won't talk to him, you're quiet anyway but around him it's like you don't say anything. he doesn't even know if he's ever heard you talk. he frowns at the idea that you won't talk to him because you don't like him, he wants you to like him, he wants you to talk to him! everything about you leaves him in a tizzy- the way you smile, your laugh, your anime pins stuck to your bag, how you got bakugou to open up to you even before kirishima. he can't explain it but he just wants to be near you.

you want to be near him, you want to ask him about his favourite manga, you want to know more about him but you conclude your soulmate wants nothing to do with you. you've only spoken to him once, a month into meeting each other, and he didn't say anything about your mark. he didn't have any reaction. you were talking to bakugou, arguing over who did better in the practical today out of the two of you and you're too involved in proving that you were better that you don't realise hanta and kaminari have walked up to you both. you've spoken to kaminari on a couple of occasions he's nice but a bit too complimentary to girls for your liking and you haven't said one single word to hanta, overthinking every little thing. "oi, you two which one of us was stronger today in our practical?" bakugou shouts over to them.

you don't remember kaminari's response, you remember hanta's, "i mean you're good bakugou but she's miles ahead of you." your heart soars, you don't think you've ever been so happy in your life. shouting ensues, lots of shouting, bakugou calling hanta blind and various other insults.

over all that you say, "thanks sero, you were great too," the end of your sentence gets quieter and you stutter more. they can barely hear you over all the shouting. hanta doesn't look at you or make any acknowledge of what you just said, like 'oh hey, that's what my soulmate mark says' nothing. he heard you but he didn't want anything to do with you. the rejection hurt but you knew something like this would happen, you never expected him to like you but you would've liked him to say something like 'i'm not interested but i still want to be friends with you.'

the lack of any acknowledge on his behalf made it clear to you and you don't want to disrespect his wishes, if he doesn't want to get to know you then you won't force yourself into his life. what you didn't realise is your soulmate didn't even hear what you said... he didn't reject you at all he just didn't hear.

five minutes beforehand he was almost dragging denki by his sleeve over to you and bakugou because he wants to talk to you. he's had this warm fuzzy feeling from the first moment he's seen you and it's just grown and grown.

soulmate hanta is buzzing now that everyone is moving into dorms because surely that means you'll have to talk to him.

soulmate hanta who inserts himself into your life. that anime pin on your bag? he's asking if you've read the manga. he's making teasing jabs at bakugou with you about how his cooking for everyone gives it away that he loves all of the class, bakugou always tells him to fuck off and you have a fit of giggles. he gives you ideas when he can see you're struggling and hit a road block with your hero costume support items. he'll swing you with him to the roof of tallest towers in the city and talk for hours until the sun comes up about the future and plans for being a pro. he's loud and sociable and brings you out of your shell to speak up when he can see that you want but are too afraid to, he's there to give you a push but also relax with you in the dorms when he can tell that you don't have the energy for everyone. he'll bring snacks and you'll watch films and he'll speak to you gently and soothingly that puts your mind at ease when you get overwhelmed. he'll read you manga while you rest your head on his lap and you'll get overly competitive when it comes to mario kart.

you don't understand why your soulmate had this change of mindset about you, maybe it's because you're all living together but now you have him in your life you're not jeopardising that. the time you share with everyone is amazing, and the time you and hanta share with everyone is amazing but when you're just together alone that amazing turns into perfection. you want to bottle up those moments with a glass and keep them forever.

falling in love with hanta didn't surprise you, you knew it would happen sooner or later. you never spoke to each other about being soulmates or relationships (you thought you knew why) you didn't engage in conversations with the rest of the class about it either. you didn't want to put hanta on the spot like that, 'yeah, i've found my soulmate guys, i spend every day with him but he rejected me. oh look! here he comes now, hi sero!' you were wrong though. it didn't happen like you thought it did.

soulmate hanta who isn't just called 'hanta' in your head but when you speak to him or about him, after eight years of knowing each other you've gotten past the use of family names. the first time he heard you speak it his heart skipped a beat. your heads were pressed together and you were under a blanket asleep. you both drifted off at some point during film night, it was time for you both to start joint patrol so you woke him up, whispering his name. you joined the same agency so that meant you liked doing as much joint patrol with each other as possible.

soulmate hanta who's never been in a relationship before and is a complete virgin. he doesn't care about other girls, not even to look their way for a night, all he cares about is you. the idea of even dating a girl riddles him with guilt over how he wishes it was you. hanta is fully aware that you've never been in a relationship either.

soulmate hanta can't bare to look you in the eyes and hear about the person you love or how you're yearning to find your soulmate. he couldn't bare that pain. the idea that you have someone out there- it kills him. in that sense he's insecure, he knows he should be supportive and ask about your soulmate, it seems that every other person has had at least one conversation about it but he just can't. you've never even had a relationship and he knows he should ask why but then you might ask him the same question and the reason would be- you.

the thought that his words may be written on your hip never cross his mind, he's never been in denial that he loves you but he never thought it was reciprocated.

the thought that he himself has a soulmate never, even for a second, flits through in his mind. he doesn't think he's met them and he doesn't care if he does. they won't be you.

next

[huskersbooze]

Who's in Control?

Alastor x Reader

| Part 1(here!) | Part 2 | Part 3 |

Summary : You sold your soul to Alastor and had no idea how big of a deal this was. Until recently, you finally learn what it means, and realize all that Alastor had been doing was just a lie.. or was it?

Pairing : Alastor x F!Reader, Huskerdust? (M!Reader here, Gn!Reader here)

Warnings : swear words

Additional Tags : Angst, miscommunication, misunderstandings, Alastor actually being nice?!, no use of (Y/n)

Ib : Who's in Control By Set It Off

Word count : 1.8k

"Good morning, dear."

"Morning, Al." You reach the lobby and take a seat on the floor next to Alastor's chair.

"How was your sleep, darling?"

"It was good! And yours?"

"Aha, hilarious, really. You know I don't sleep, my dear." He places a hand on your head and gives your hair a ruffle. "You really do know how to brighten my day."

The rest of the team reaches the lobby, and you all gather around for your daily dose of trust exercises.

-----

You and Alastor had been growing closer and closer ever since your arrival at the hotel. There was no doubt that he was your favourite person there.

And, well, for Alastor, he never wanted to admit it, but everyone in the hotel could tell, and even he was aware.

He was growing a soft-spot for you.

It was never supposed to be this way. He was never meant to grow attached. It just somehow happened, and that was that.

Everything between you two was going great. Except for that one little issue that bothered Alastor.. but you didn’t have to know. He never tried to abuse any of that power when he asked for your soul. He never thought of doing anything to you.

But there comes a time in every relationship where a lie can ruin it all.

“Hey, sugar. How ya’ doin’?” Angel Dust leans by the bar counter, greeting you as usual.

“I'm doing decent. Husk and I were just talking about you.”

“We were fuckin’ not!” You watch as the cat's ears twitch, the drink he was originally pouring tipping over.

“Oh, really? No need ta’ lie Husky~” You laugh at Angel's teasing, which makes Husk let out a low growl. “At least I don't gawk over a certain demon so obviously.”

“Hey! Are you talking about me and Al?”

“Who else would he be talkin’ about?” Angel tilts his head to the side, giving you a knowing glare. “Ya’ can't even deny it.”

“Al and I are just friends.”

“Kid, Angel's right.” The cat can only do so much but sigh. “You don't know him as well as I do. He treats you differently.”

“Still, we're just friends-”

“The Radio Demon doesn't do ‘friends’, kid.”

“Yeah, well, he owns my soul. Of course he'd treat me differently.”

The way it so simply came out of your mouth like it wasn't some big deal. Both Husker and Angel Dust froze in place, staring at you wide-eyed.

“What? Did I say something wrong?”

“What.. what did you just say?” The spider can hardly comprehend the news you'd just dropped.

“He owns my soul..?”

“Kid. What the actual fuck?!”

“What the fuck did he do to you?! Ya’ alright?! Are you hurt?”

You watch as the two demons skim your body up and down, firing questions at you, checking up to make sure you weren't hurt.

But you were confused.

“What's going on? Why are you guys suddenly acting so strange?”

“Wh- Why did you sell ya’ soul to him?!”

“Fuck I knew he was up to no good!”

“He told me by selling my soul to him he'd protect me from everything and anything at all cost. I didn't see a reason to decline?” You reply to Angel's question, ignoring Husk as he mutters about himself being correct. “I got nothing to lose.”

“Ya’ got everything to lose, shitass.” You hear his voice start to crack slightly as you realise tears welling up in his eyes.

“Angel?! Hey, what's wrong?”

“Damn, kid. You really don't know shit, huh?”

“About..?”

“What it means to sell your soul.”

“I know what it means, Al said-”

“Forget that fucker.” Husk practically spits out his name. “D'you know why I work here at the bar?”

“Because you like your job..?”

“No. It’s because I was forced by the person I sold my soul to.”

“Who..?”

“Hell, kid.. you really can't take a hint?”

And just like that, he says one more name, and your whole world comes tumbling down on you.

He didn't actually care for you, he was just shaping you in case you came to use.

He didn't actually enjoy your company, he was just watching you to make sure you were obedient.

He didn't actually mean any of the things he said. He was just trying to manipulate you.

And you were so damn lost. So damn lost as to whether the control and power you thought you had, really belonged to you.

“Valentino is an overlord.. and he's your boss?”

“Yup.” Angel nods.

“And he owns your soul like Al owns Husk’s?”

“Exactly.” Husk replies.

“And there's no escaping this contract..?”

“No.” The two reply together.

“Fuck.”

-----

“Greetings, my dear! How are you on this fine morning?” The static sounds from Alastor's usual seat at the lobby where you all gather every morning.

There's that usual smile etched on his face, which, you used to believe looked genuine when he was talking to you, but it seemed that wasn't the case.

“Hey, Husk. Hey, Angel.” You greet the two on the couch, completely passing by Alastor and ignoring his whole existence. “Mind if I sit?”

“Yeah, go ahead.” Angel scoots over and makes space for you to squeeze between Husk and himself. “Ya’ look like hell.”

“You alright, kid?”

“Couldn't sleep much last night, but I'm fine.” You reassure them.

The rest of the crew were a bit startled at your display, knowing well that you refused to not sit by Alastor's chair, normally.

And here you were, ignoring him completely like he was no longer relevant, and hanging with the other two demons.

“Okay.. what an interesting way to start the morning!” Charlie tries to break the ice.

Everyone turns their attention towards her.

Everyone but Alastor.

He was practically fuming with rage, anger, irritation, but yet, a tiny bit of worry.

How dare you ignore the Radio Demon like he was some piece of useless trash?

But then again.. why were you suddenly acting so cold and distant? What did he do wrong?

He couldn't help but focus his attention on you throughout the entire day, but you didn't even spare him a single glance.

Needless to say, you felt a knock on your door that night.

“Darling, how wonderful to see you! Wonderful, really. Mind if I come in?”

“A little. What do you need, Alastor?” You stand at the door frame, hand still on the door handle, prepared to slam the door in case anything happens.

Meanwhile, Alastor was pissed. You had never rejected inviting him in for late night chatting, in fact, you never rejected anything from him.

“It's nothing, really. I just hoped to have a friendly little chat with you, if that's alright?” Alastor leans down to your level, tilting his head and giving you his usual smile he reserved for you, and you only.

“A bit busy. Maybe next time.” You attempt to close the door, but a hand swoops in and, damn, was he strong.

“Dear, what seems to be the issue?”

“I’m really busy, Alastor.” You sigh. His ears twitch at the name. Where were all his sweet little nicknames? Why were you only referring to him by his full name?

“Clearly, something is wrong, and I ought to find out what I had done to deserve such treatment.” He states, making himself welcome in your room. “Talk to me, darling.”

“Oh enough with the pet names, I’m not your fucking pet.” You roll your eyes, closing the door behind you to make sure no one stumbles upon your little predicament.

Alastor stiffens, then laughs.

“Whatever are you talking about, dear? Of course you’re not my pet.”

“The damn contract says otherwise..” You watch as Alastor shifts uncomfortably, his back still facing you. “I should’ve known you just wanted another soul. Fuck you, Alastor.”

You continue on about how you never should’ve trusted him, and how you finally knew about everything so there was no point in him pretending to tolerate you.

Alastor, however, could barely process anything you were saying. He could hear his own static in his own head, and it was growing louder and louder.

What the fuck was happening? How did you know? What did he ever do? Where did he go wrong..?

“Darling, please.. You don’t understand-” The radio filter in his voice was off, his actual voice coming out as a soft plea.

Taken aback, you stopped talking. Alastor turned to face you, smile still etched high and proud, but his eyes looked like he was about to break.

“Alastor..” You murmur. “I just don’t think I can trust you anymore. I’m sorry.”

“When have I ever used any of that power on you?!” Alastor snaps, eyes darting all over the place, trying to find out what to do to fix all this. “I’ve been nothing but nice! I.. I helped you when you were in trouble! I did nothing to hurt you..”

You watch as Alastor starts losing his usual composure, having it slowly drifting away.. It was heartbreaking seeing him like this, but you couldn’t bring yourself to forgive him and pretend nothing happened.

“It doesn’t matter when you’re in control..”

“No.. darling, no! You’re in control!” He scrambles, grabbing you by the shoulders.

“Really? I’m not sure I trust any of that bullshit anymore.”

“Dear, please, listen to me..!”

“I'm sorry, Al.. I think it's best if you leave.”

He pauses.

“Have a good sleep, dear.” He says, voice filter completely off. It was a rare occasion getting to hear his sweet voice. Too bad it had to be under such circumstances.

-----

“Oh my, Alastor, what's got your ears pinned back?” Rosie leads her friend through the halls and has him take a seat opposite of her. “Is everything alright?”

“No.. no it's not.” He replies. “She found out.”

“About the deal?”

“No, Rosie. No.” He sighs. “She found out what selling her soul to me actually permits me.”

“But you never wanted to abuse that power, did you?”

“Of course not.”

“Then, I'm assuming you didn't tell her?”

“No.”

“Well, why not?”

“Would it make a difference?" She could practically hear him scoff. "She's irritated at me as is. It's not like she'd even heed my words."

“Come, now, Alastor. You know as well as I that the sweetheart would listen.” Rosie tuts, waving a hand at him.

“She doesn't need to know how powerful she actually is.. she doesn't need to know her soul is being gambled this very second.”

Alastor sighs, getting up from his chair.

“Thank you for your kind words, Rosie. I shall take my leave now.”

“Take care, Alastor.” She smiles. “I'm sure she'll understand.”

“I surely hope you're correct."

———/ TBC. /———

READ PART 2 HERE

[slightly-knot-insane]

I Insist

Monstertober 2024 - day 20 + 31 [ Fear of the Dark + Creature Feature ] by @/ozzgin

[ m!psoglavs* x fem!reader ]

*The quite literal translation for 'psoglav' is 'doghead'. They are nasty creatures, scavengers that eat corpses. They are described having human bodies with a dog head, one eye, iron teeth (and possibly hooves)

content: dub-con, gangbang, knife play, p in v, bukakke, biting, oral (both) tw: dub-con, (mention of) discrimination, racial fetishization

You look behind yourself. The street is very poorly lit and the gangs of psoglavs have been an issue in this area for a while. You click your tongue in annoyance. Calling groups of protesting psoglav "gangs" is very disrespectful. They've been discriminated for many years. Only working the worst jobs and suffering constant repression. The recent case of a psoglav child being refused treatment by a racist doctor sparked protests in the city. And they also ignited the darker side of psoglavs, especially at night.

But you know how much people have been unfair toward them. You've been working as a social worker for ten years and the amount of times you had to fight, yell and scream at authorities and your co-workers to stay professional and fair is alarming. And disappointing.

This is not your usual route of going home. The train stopped outside the station since it broke down and you had to walk through this unfamiliar district or go around following a quite longer path. It's an industrial zone and it's completely abandoned this late at night. You, admittedly, didn't think about that or about the lack of street lights. Which is very foolish.

You use your phone's flash to illuminate your path, but it feels like you're in a horror video game. You push your chin deeper into your jacket and walk faster. You don't get far before hearing a familiar sound of iron hooves ringing against the pavement. A group of psoglavs are following you. Shit.

You stop and turn around and your flash illuminates their impressive teeth and whites of their glaring eyes.

"I'm sorry for walking through here," you say. "I had no idea this was your area."

"Oh don't worry, we don't mind," one of them replies. You count four almost glowing eyes surrounding you. "We can help you get through here."

You take a step back, noticing the dangerous note in his voice. "I'm f-fine."

One of them pulls out a knife. "Oh but we insist."

"Wait..." The one whose eye is shining in a deep green shade steps forward. "I know her. She's one of the social workers who helped my nephew stay with my sister. She's... really nice."

The amount of humans and psoglavs that go through your office is too high for you to remember everyone... but you actually do remember this young man. A few weeks ago, he was sitting in the hallway comforting his little nephew while his sister was nervously pacing in front of the office. An immediate thought flashed through your mind - how caring and sweet he was. Not to mention you have a bit of a... thing for psoglavs and their lanky bodies and elongated arms.

"Is she?" The one with the knife relaxes. "That's okay... But she's still a human. I just... don't like them. Not anymore."

Being surrounded with these tall psoglavs fully electrified with conflicting emotions, aggression and frustration - got you sweating. And wet.

"Well, in any case, too bad such an opportunity go to waste." The next second the knife is at your throat, tip pressing against your pulse. You are too scared to swallow. "Unzip, darling."

One of them takes your phone and illuminates you as if you're on the stage. You remove your jacket and it falls to the ground. The knife slides between your breasts as it cuts your blouse. The tip burns your skin as it lightly enters your skin.

"Not even a little yelp?" The one with the knife mocks. "You are so brave." He proceeds to rip and cut your clothes, and his sharp knife makes a few cuts here an there. Soon you're left in your undies, exposed and trembling, covered in small lacerations. Psoglavs lick their lips and growl.

The knife dances across your stomach and ends up pressed just above your clit. You gasp from anticipation. "You're wet, darling. Your panties are soaked. Such a filthy slut you are." He lifts his knife and pulls it to his mouth. The slow dragging of the blade across his moist, steaming tongue sends a throb right into your core. You're no longer sure that the cold is making you tremble.

"Cherry boy!" You're surprised by his bark. The psoglav you know unglues his eyes from you and looks at his most likely leader. "Would you like to taste a human cunt?"

The cute psoglav seems flabbergasted at first, like he didn't understand the question, but then his bright green eye flashes. In one quick jump he's behind you, pulling you backwards with his long arms. He is squeezing your tits and pushing his hand between your legs, rubbing your damp underwear against your moist lips. He is too rough with you and you jolt.

"Ah... sorry!" His voice is less deep than the leader's, less rough, almost velvety. "You are just so... gorgeous. I really want to... fuck you... I've watched so much psoglav and human porn..."

His friends giggle. The young psoglav growls and fondles you harder. His eager, impatient, raspy pants tickle your exposed neck. He is drooling down your bare back. You can only imagine the state this youngsters is in - and that excites you. Especially the hardness pressing against the small of your back. His bony long fingers pinch your nipples. "So pretty... so soft..."

"Bend her down," the leader instructs him. "She is too short for you so I will help you. It's a shame not to use that delicate mouth of hers too."

He pulls out his semi-hard cock out of his jeans just as the young psoglav pushes your back, bending you forward. "I love human asses," he growls and slaps you. "They are so fat, so soft, I just.... nggghh..."

You feel his hot breath on your ass. The first bite is unpleasant and you yelp. "Hey, easy!"

"S-sorry... I just can't control..." His sharp teeth will definitely leave bruises but you're sure he could do a lot worse if he wanted to.

"Let's keep that mouth of yours busy." The leader takes you by your shoulders and lifts you right in front of his red and swollen cock. He doesn't need to tell you anything and you slurp that thing right in your mouth. You always wondered how does psoglav cock taste like. The leader hisses through his teeth, surprised by your action. "Fuck..."

The young psoglav behind you moves your underwear to the side and the next thing you feel is the long and slimy tongue hitting your g-spot like a torpedo. You whimper and wriggle around, but strong arms hold you in place. "Keep sucking my cock you slut, and let my friends have fun with you."

"You taste so good..." Youngster is slurping and humming against your pussy, eating you out like a juicy watermelon. You knees tremble and you have to grab the leaders jeans just to stay on your feet.

"Come on, cherry boy. Get your cock out. We don't have all night."

With an annoyed grunt, the tongue retracts from your core, just as your orgasm was starting to build up. You whimper and buck your hips wanting him to continue. And fast. The two other psoglavs get their leaking cocks out and stroke them on each of your side.

"Fuck..." The nervousness almost breaks young psoglav's voice. He lifts your thigh high up to position himself, lifting you up with his other arm cupping your stomach. He misses once, twice... but the third time your soaked pussy almost sucks him in. "Oh fuck, I'm inside...." His excitement is so adorable. "I... oh fuck... oh fuck... this is so good..."

His thrusts are insecure for mere seconds before they turn impatient and vigorous, catching a delightful rhythm. Your g-spot gets rubbed by his thick cock, the pressure sending pulses of irresistible pleasure. You get slightly dizzy, two strong psoglavs holding you horizontally almost completely lifted in the air, and you just buck your hips chasing your release before it washes over you. Your scream is muffled by a cock shoved down your throat and they barely notice it from all their panting and growls.

"Great job!" the leader praises the ex-virgin. "You made her cum. You will be an excellent lover."

The young psoglav doesn't say anything, but his thrusts become erratic and irregular and, with a low growl ,he grabs your thigh and pushes himself inside your pussy as far as he can go and releases his load into a body for the first time. Probably turned even more on by his and your panting, the rest of psoglavs shoot their loads on your face and back, covering you with their thick and sticky seed.

"Well..." The leader is breathless. He suddenly releases you and you would've fell onto the ground face first if the young psoglav behind you didn't grab you by the hips and helped you up. "This was fun. Thank you for being on our side, human. We'll keep an eye on you."

The three of them push their cocks inside their jeans and walk away. The young psoglav stays a bit longer to make sure you can stand on your own. After fixing himself up, he removes his jacket and places it on your naked shoulders and runs after his friends. But you see his green eye flashing back toward you, at least one more time.

[corseque]

I honestly just wanted one single plot step that I could not predict given the 10 year wait. More behind the cut, I talk about Emet too, and I'm comparing his writing favorably to Solas' writing and why it worked better for me personally, but I am just talking about the writing skill that went into the games and not the dudes themselves, I love them both dearly of course. idk this is a mess and I am not going to edit it for clarity

For me, the game was a series of me saying

"ok I knew that. cool."

"oh yeah, I knew that. I guess it's good that the larger fandom knows about that now."

"nice, but yeah I already knew that too"

"that was something we've been talking about a lot for years"

"this thing they are acting like is a huge enormous reveal that the characters could not possibly have deduced through simply thinking about it in depth over the 10 years... the fans easily figured out by thinking about it in depth 10 years ago. So you would think his girlfriend would be able to figure it out more easily than we did. Like, why couldn't the game have been like 'oh lavellan already figured that out a while ago' it would have cost them nothing"

"this is something I've been thinking about for years, and now that it's being revealed, the companions' reactions to it are very irritating and jarring and unnecessary and I really dislike the experience I'm having right now, in this, the hour of my greatest triumph"

"this thing that is happening on my screen right now is something that I wrote an essay about 2 years ago describing how it would be a letdown if it happened without the correct setup"

"this way that they're characterizing Solas makes him less likable and less interesting than I have been finding him for all these years, and I have had people tell me 'no, he's simpler than you think' for years but I guess I was wrong, he really is simpler than I thought, so that fucking sucks. I wish I could take that information out of my brain."

"this thing is a retcon of information I have been thinking about for 10 years, and so I don't know how to follow along with this new direction, and I'm not sure if I even want to because it's not particularly interesting anyway"

"aw that was sweet"

"why is it like, so very impossible to have an honest back-and-forth with my favorite character about the dilemma that was most interesting to me about the previous game"

and then, as soon as, like, the other fans had caught up to the Solas lore that was really obvious from the other games, the game was.... over without anything surprising happening, or introducing a new element or plot point or perspective, or a real true twist (or two, or three) for those of us who have thought about it too hard for too long. It was very simple and easy, much, much, much, much easier than I was imagining. It all felt sort of like that Nicholson quote:

The thing was, the whole story was so interesting to think about because in 10 years, I couldn't figure out a good solution to it!!!!! It's why I was never able to write post-game fanfic about it. So I was stoked to find out some reveal we never knew about, some new information, in maybe a SERIES of steps of new information, that made the situation more complicated but also something that could be navigated by everyone involved. I know it was asking for a lot, but they had TEN YEARS, and they seemingly had set up the things they did in DAI on purpose, so surely they had some idea of a complex and satisfying narrative that would reconcile everyone.

The reason why I was expecting this is because FFXIV did a very similar story arc, which was started AND concluded WITHIN those 10 years (so it took the FFXIV team far less time to deliver as well). And the conclusion to the story in FFXIV did what I was expecting Dragon Age to do. So I thought, "holy shit, if this is the FFXIV version of this plot, how much more complicated is DA4 going to be!?!?" The DA devs also PLAYED FFXIV so they were completely aware, several years ago, of a satisfying story ending that was pretty darn similar.

People are probably going to think "oh, well Chelsea was disappointed because she spent too much time building it up in her head" but that's exactly it - I actually speculated and thought about FFXIV's story IN DEPTH NONSTOP for a year+ before its ending came out, and the ending absolutely blew me away. FFXIV Endwalker managed to introduce information and new story elements that I was not able to figure out in the YEAR I spent speculating on the ending of FFXIV's story. It took a complicated situation and revealed several several more facets to it that I was not able to predict, but were very interesting and thematically compelling, and took us all to surprising and climactic places that we could not have predicted.

Endwalker ("end" is in the title on purpose) too, was written to be THE ULTIMATE SATISFYING ENDING for a very long-running story in the exactly way that Veilguard SHOULD HAVE for Dragon Age, so while this complexity is being explored, FFXIV also gave catharsis to many different plot threads that have been built up through the previous expansions, until finally it ends with a bang. The story is desperately good to me, I loved it, it gave me closure for Dragon Age long before Veilguard was even revealed, and going back and looking at its story has made this whole thing far less painful for me.

So, I actually did not have a picture in my mind for how things SHOULD go. I just had the thought "I hope it's complicated and there are points of view or facts that we haven't before been exposed to, and the situation is resolved respectfully for Solas, not making him look like a fucking idiot (lol, the only thing I asked for). I don't even care what happens to Solas and Lavellan, I just need the story to be complicated and interesting to think about. Please, god, don't let it be "solas is wrong and he just needs to be convinced" because that's like the simplest story you could tell with this setup"

(btw they managed to tell Emet-Selch's story without making him seem like he's being an idiot on purpose or can never get anything right, and in fact the more the story goes on, the more you think of him as smart and capable and cool, so it is possible to write.... I wasn't asking for the entire moon)

And I played it and... yeah. Most of the story beats were more simple than I wanted them to be, a lot of them didn't make sense in my heart given the writing from Inquisition. (This is another essay, but if Solas' thematic story arc was always about him needing to let go of regrets, why was his personal quest the way it was? After that quest, doesn't he end up regretting not doing more....? Why did he never really talk about regret during Inquisition? If he was so trapped by regret, why was he able to do so many actions? It doesn't mesh well to me. The whole regret thing was very quarter-baked to me, I don't even like thinking about it.) His story never seemed like one that was as simple as being about one man's regrets, but then, I guess, it was always just about one man's regrets.

Emet-Selch's personal storyline (and the way it interacts with and affects the larger story) is very similar but much more cohesive and satisfying to me. It would be difficult to explain why without the aforementioned 5-hour essay. Emet-Selch's story IS about grief and anguish on a world-shaping scale in a similar way that Solas' was apparently always about letting go of regret, but Emet's story was also very pointedly and beautifully about that one theme for the entirety of his story from every tiny detail, from beginning to end - meanwhile, it seemed to me that they tried to introduce 'regret' as the main thrust of Solas' story only in the short story with the Regret demon onward.

From Inquisition just by itself, the closest I personally could get to a story theme for Solas was his inability to trust others hurting him and the world, but his trusting others in DA4 wasn't really addressed to my satisfaction. He is never required to trust anyone before the ending, he never opens up or makes himself vulnerable at all. People find out information about him, he never really dynamically opens himself. So the personal story I thought he had was never addressed at all, while a new one about regret was introduced that never made a ton of sense to me. And I don't think this is just because of my expectations - my reaction to FFXIV proves that I am able to meet good writing where it goes in surprising directions, as long as it's interesting and thoughtful and clear.

And I think this might be part of what people felt was off about the ending - Solas is sort of uninvolved in the revelations that are about him, and doesn't do much to be part of his own ending. Part of what I loved about Solas in Inquisition is that he is not controlled by you in any way, and so he feels like his own person with a very strong sense of character.

Anyway, Emet-Selch, in a very comparable and arguably more extreme plot position, is very involved in the revelations about himself, he always feels like a very strong character who cannot be affected by the player, and the whole situation is handled with deft emotion and care and delicacy. The story is comparatively very uninterested in litigating Emet-Selch or putting him on trial - the story allows you to simply feel the way that you feel in an organic way, and Emet's story spends that energy instead actually exploring his thematic material about grief and legacy, and the larger story theme of existentialism instead, in a way that is very refreshing and interesting. I've seen a lot of western stories tie themselves in knots over "redemption" and frankly it's almost never been interesting at all. Who cares about any of that. lol

(Now, I guess this is a matter of preference, because some people really like being able to shape a character's story, but idk I rewatched the ending of FFXIV and even though there wasn't a choice with Emet, because it isn't a branching story, his story felt more satisfying to me, maybe because there isn't a patronizing choice to be made for him. He is who he is, and he fulfills a very beautiful narrative role and purpose that no other character could in the story.)

I don't know how this could have been improved to me and still allowed players to choose Solas' ending for him, but I can actually think of a few different methods, none of which involve Rook condescendingly and patronizingly lecturing Solas as if Solas had never thought about a single aspect of this horrible situation he's in before that very moment that Rook lectures him lmfao.

All this to say... idk I'm writing this and I am not going back to edit it so it's stream-of-consciousness. But yeah

I just wanted the story to be complicated on a few more levels than I could have predicted. I genuinely don't care what happened, but I thought of a few twists like the Veil coming down and yeah, I was expecting A Single Twist or reveal to happen. In a Dragon Age game.

I wanted Solas to seem cool and capable and noble and smart, and actually feel like he was as old and experienced as he is.

I wanted a clear theme I could sink my teeth into

Like notice I didn't even say anything about Solavellan. Like I never in 100 years thought they were getting a happy ending where they were both alive in bodies, and I like that we got that, but I would honestly trade it for a more complicated story. To me, if a story is sad you can always write fanfic, but if a story isn't COMPLICATED, that's a much more urgent issue.

These 3 things DA4 didn't give me in a way that satisfied me but FFXIV did. anyway idk the way my hyperfixations work, I completely switch to a new subject so talking about Dragon Age is actually hard for me right now.

[kaibutsushidousha]

Kodaka April Fools tweets 2024

Lying just because it's April Fools' is so dull. Honestly painful to watch. Lying in general doesn't do you any good. In my younger days, I told every lie I could, saying some genuinely insane stuff about being a supreme leader of evil and whatnot, and thanks to that, now that I'm in my thirties, I got famous for all the wrong reasons and can't find a stable job because people think I'm associated with the yakuza... Sigh, I wanna deck my cringe younger self's face. Quit lying for fun while you can.

My classmates aren't doing great either. Thinking you're hot shit during your school days always comes back to bite you... My advice to my past self: slow and steady effort is worth more than any talent. Also, the part of life you spent larping with that silly horse laugh is not going to be one you'll want to remember later. I wish I could make that clear to him. White lies aren't a thing. Talent is never enough. My class is proof of that. Wanna know what my classmates are like now that we're in our thirties?

Akamatsu became a piano teacher. Her player skills capped off in her teens, it seems. But she's not that good at teaching so she's considered kinda mid at her job. And now she's struggling with the father of a student incessantly hitting on her. Tough world to live in.

Toujou opened a housekeeping company but she was too strict with her employees so everyone quit. And now she's doing everything on her own. Sucks to be in your thirties without any successors or employees. She's a prime example of how being so much better than anyone else doesn't do you any good. Well, she's always working for celebrities, so she's doing well financially, but I heard about some major court fight about a missing item under suspicion of theft from one of her clients. That can't be nice.

Yumeno got to her thirties still saying magic is real, so she's past the point of no return. She agrees that's an unhinged way to live, but she's too old to suddenly change gimmicks. Work takes her all over the country, but her gimmick doesn't allow her to publicly drink, so she has to get plastered alone in her hotel room after shows. I wish she could fix her life with real magic.

Harukawa? ...Haven't heard that name in a long time. Now she was a living edgy fantasy. The past tense was because I hadn't heard of her in a long time. I don't know the details, but apparently, she went to some war zone outside of Japan because her first love didn't want to date her. Takes some real edgelord to react to a broken heart like that, but if she's still alive, I have no idea how her thirties are treating her. My personal guess is that she's a mother of many.

Chabashira opened her Aikido school but is having a hard time attracting students. So she had the idea of starting an anti-sexual-harassment campaign that could double as advertisement, but thanks to her cluelessness when it comes to romance, she got canceled for mistakenly tossing men in regular couples. She's still doing the "degenerate males" bit in her thirties. Girl really needs to get on with the times. Rumor goes that she still downs huge packs of tequila bottles with Yumeno every now and then. Really don't think there's any salvaging her reputation.

Shirogane is an office lady still continuing her cosplay hobby on the side. She could be doing well if she knew how to keep her mouth shut but frequently rambles about cosplay history and etiquette, so no one likes having her around. Stay emotionally dependent on a single hobby long enough and your passion starts to close you off to others. That's her problem.

Angie was the most successful in the class! She made big money both on the art and the religion fronts. However, there were some controversies about her devotees selling counterfeits of her paintings at exorbitant prices and one magazine made a huge news coverage of it, which resulted in her catching the police's attention. She's been recently untraceable, with the rumors saying that she'll never be back to Japan.

Oh, and Iruma... Up until some point, she had the best life of all of us. She made big money off of her inventions' patents. So far so good. Things only started going off-rails after she married an ex-stripper. The two started a YouTube channel together. And later, her husband ran in last year's elections and lost big time. They got an awful debt from his election campaign and she had to get into side jobs to pay it off. And her husband? Disappeared. No word from Iruma herself about what happened. Tough world to live in.

No further updates from Kodaka in the past 3 hours, so I assume he went to sleep and will come back to tweet about the 7 remaining boys in the morning.

[violentdelightsandviolentends]

Honey Girl. Chapter Six.

Chapter One. Chapter Two. Chapter Three. Chapter Four. Chapter Five. Chapter Seven. Chapter Eight. Chapter Nine. Chapter Ten. Series Masterlist. The Playlist.

Chapter Synopsis - You finally start to appreciate the happiness that having a soulmate brings.

Pairing - Dad'sBestFriend!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader - soulmate au

Warnings - smut. cursing. alcohol consumption. so much fluff.

Age Rating - 18+

Word Count - 5k

Author's Note - the sixth installment!! thank you to everyone who voted in my poll - I listened, and decided to make this chapter as sweet as pie, because I think we all need it. it's nice to have a little break from the angst. just a liiiiittle break though. a tiny one. as always, thank you for all of your love and support and enthusiasm and patience and kindness towards this story. so much love for every one of you. <3

as always, reblogs, comments and feedback (even anonymous feedback) are immensely appreciated!! your reblogs are the only way to circulate my fics, which keeps me going <3

Masterlist. Inbox.

"Are you happy?"

You stretch your feet further into the sand and sit up, wiggling to get comfortable on the picnic blanket.

"That's a big question to start with."

Stella laughs and closes her notebook, deciding to take a different route than originally planned.

"I just mean... be honest with me. I'm not gonna be offended if you say no."

"Do you think I'm gonna say no?"

"Do you always have to answer my questions with questions?"

You tilt your head and watch her, smiling softly.

"I thought this was supposed to be an employee performance review."

"You're not my employee and you know it."

Both of you laugh, the sound whipped away by the sea breeze.

"Then what am I, Stella?" you chuckle.

"You're basically my partner. Come on, we've done all of this together. You helped me build this business from the ground up - I couldn't have done it without you."

You go to protest, so she continues.

"I think you should be. My partner, that is. Obviously there's logistics to work out, but it'd be fifty fifty. You and I, co-owners. It doesn't feel right to me that you're my 'employee'. I'm not your boss. We're equals."

Your mind is running a mile a minute, trying to process what Stella's asking of you. Being her business partner is an opportunity you know is rare and incredibly special - and it could potentially set you up for life - but you can't help but think about the fact it's a big commitment. About home. About Bucky.

"You don't have to answer me right now - I just want you to think about it. We always talked about opening up businesses of our own. I should have asked you to be my partner at the beginning, but honestly... I didn't know if you were gonna stick around. It kinda felt like you had one foot out the door when we started."

You take a deep breath, nodding.

"Yeah. I, uh - I think I did. Don't get me wrong, I was super excited, but the idea of moving away when I felt like I'd just got home was a lot to process. I'd just settled back there, and then I was gonna be packing up all of my stuff again and shipping myself across the country. "

"I didn't realise it was so tough for you, you know. I just assumed you wouldn't mind moving. I mean, you were always up for it, back at school."

"Things changed, after I graduated. I got home, and a couple of things happened and I guess it just... turned everything upside down. Home is different now. In a good way, I think."

"You're different now, too."

You look at her carefully, half attempting to read her mind.

"How do you mean?"

"You're... more grounded. More careful. You think through everything way more than you ever did. Almost like you've realised you're not invincible anymore."

There's a feeling, when you're young, that you're indestructible. Unharmable. Broken bones mend, cuts and bruises heal, hearts and minds forget about their aches if you give them long enough.

Then one day, that feeling is gone. And you realise that you're mortal - made of flesh and blood and bones that will one day be returned to the Earth, whether you like it or not.

Meeting your soulmate is like having that realisation again, but bigger. Again, and again, and again. You don't live for yourself, anymore. You live for them. The pain they'd feel if they lost you is unfathomable, completely unimaginable.

So you become more careful. Less reckless. You drive a little slower, take things a little easier, quit your dangerous hobbies and unhealthy habits. You need to be alive for as long as possible. And you know your soulmate will do the same.

That's how you can tell a Tethered person from an Untethered one. Ask two people to go skydiving with you, and the Tethered one will tell you no. They can't risk it. It's not worth it.

Stella's right. You have realised you're not invincible anymore. You're a little more cautious when you climb ladders, you don't balance precariously on the kitchen counters anymore. You look twice when you cross the street, and don't risk it if there's a car coming and you could maybe get across.

You're also painfully aware that Bucky's older than you. He'll be turning forty in less than two years. Sure, he's not ancient, but it does mean you'll have less time together than Lacie will with Cameron, for example. And that hard truth makes you live a little less recklessly, every single day.

"I guess I just... grew up."

You're honestly not sure why you don't just tell Stella about Bucky. You know she'd understand. But there's a part of you that feels protective over what you have - territorial, even. Your Tethering is sacred, almost, and you feel the primal urge to guard it with your life. To lock it in a box and keep it away from anything that could harm it. The less people that know, the less damage that can be done. Maybe.

"I did too. The world is kinda scary now we're not in that little culinary school bubble, huh?"

"Yeah," you laugh. "We thought that was hard. Little did we know."

"Take your time, thinking about my offer. But just know that I really, really appreciate the fact that you're here. That you believed in me enough to move across the country. It means a lot."

"Of course," you say, reaching across to grab her hand. "I always believed in you, Stella. I always knew you'd do something great."

"We'd."

"Hmm?"

"We'd do something great. The two of us. Together."

"I always knew that we'd do something great," you correct.

You're starting to believe that, as time goes on. You were born to do this. You deserve to live your dreams.

Let the happiness seep through, you'd told yourself.

It finally feels like it is.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

"There's a guy here to see you."

Isabel pops her head around the door, grinning at you like she knows something you don't.

"Again?"

She nods, giggling.

"Let me guess... he's hot, tall, brown hair?"

"Bingo."

"Thanks, Isa. I'll be right out. Is it busy out there?"

"It's quieter than it was. There was a pastry rush this morning, but we're good now."

You laugh and hang up your apron, washing your hands quickly before making your way to the café.

You feel like you're having déjà vu, this situation oddly familiar.

Just like Isa said, he's stood waiting with his back to you, broad shoulders filling out his powder blue short sleeve button up.

You're excited to see Rafael again. You've been trying a new cookie recipe for his sister, and you're eager to get him to try it. You're mentally making a note to buy a nice box to put them in when you feel it.

The lights get a little brighter, the colours a little more vibrant. The tightness in your chest eases, allowing you to take a full, deep breath. You can suddenly hear the birds outside singing, melodies drifting through the open doors like a summer breeze.

The man turns around, and it's not Rafael.

It's Bucky.

You're moving before you can even process it, running and jumping into his arms. You inhale, revelling in his familiar scent. He's here. Your happiness has arrived.

"Surprise," he laughs quietly into your ear. "Miss me, honey girl?"

You beam a grin at him, pulling away to look at his handsome face.

"More than you'll ever know."

"Oh, I know. I feel it."

He places a hand over his heart gently, looking at you with pure adoration.

"What are you doing here?"

"It's been a month since your Mom's birthday. A month since I've seen your pretty face. A month too long."

You roll your eyes jokingly, so he continues.

"You don't mind that I'm here, do you? Because I'll go, if it's too much for you. I know me showing up unannounced is a lot to process."

"Don't go," you reply quickly, grabbing his hand. "I want you here, Buck. More than anything."

He leans in and presses his lips to yours, cradling your face in his warm hands. The background of the café melts away, the man in front of you the only thing that matters.

You pull away and smile at him, pressing your forehead into his gently.

"Come back to the kitchen with me. Let's get away from all the noise."

You grab his hand and pull him with you, ignoring the excited giggling from Isabel behind the counter.

Bucky perches against a counter, leaning back to allow you to stand in between his legs. You wrap your arms around his neck and peck his lips, stealing kisses in between giddy smiles.

"I hope you weren't expecting a day full of super exciting adventures. I've got a list full of stuff I've got to get finished by closing."

"Honey, I'm more than content to stay here and watch you work. There's nothing I love more than watching you bake."

You run your fingertips over his face carefully, gently tracing his features as you look at him.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. I don't care what we do, as long as we're together."

You wrap your arms around his middle, holding him as tightly as you can.

"I feel like I hit the soulmate jackpot," you whisper.

"No one's as lucky as I am," he whispers back. "Now, come on. Let me see you work your magic."

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

Bucky, it turns out, makes a damn good assistant.

Instead of just watching, he volunteers to help in whatever way he can. You set him onto weighing your ingredients, so you can focus on making and decorating. He takes his job very seriously, measuring down to the precise gram each time. You can't help but grin as you watch him concentrate, determined to get it right.

At lunch time, Isabel brings you both coffee and sandwiches, entering just as you're teaching Bucky how to properly fold in ingredients.

"Sorry, I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"You could never. Isa, this is Bucky. Buck, this is Isabel. Our best waitress."

He holds out his floury hand for her to shake.

"It's nice to meet you, Isabel. I've heard a lot about you."

"You have?"

Her eyes light up as she looks at you, fighting the smile off her face.

"My honey talks about you all the time."

Isabel glances between the two of you, clearly trying to figure things out.

"And you two are..."

"Soulmates," you say at the same time as Bucky does.

Her jaw drops for a moment, before she laughs.

"Yeah. That makes a lot of sense, actually."

You roll your eyes at her lovingly before Stella's voice calls her name from out front.

"I better go. But me and you are gonna talk about this later."

"Fine," you laugh.

"Nice to meet you!" Bucky shouts after her, pressing a kiss to your temple. "I like that we're just telling people now."

"Yeah, me too, actually. I thought it'd be scary, but... it feels right."

He slings an arm around your middle, pulling you into his side.

"We've still got the two most important people left to tell."

Your muscles tense and Bucky feels it instantly, running his thumb in patterns over your hip gently.

"I've been thinking about it a lot. I'm almost ready, Buck. We can't avoid it forever. Next time I'm home, I think we should do it. We should tell them."

Bucky hooks two fingers under your chin, forcing you to look at him.

"Are you sure? Once we tell them, we can't undo it. We'll only do it if you're one hundred percent sure."

"I'll be ready when the time comes. It'll be a huge weight off of both of our shoulders, which I think we both need."

"Okay then," he says, kissing your forehead. "Next time you're home."

Isabel clears her throat from the doorway, smiling sheepishly.

"I can't believe I'm saying this again, but... there's a guy here to see you."

You laugh, untangling yourself from Bucky with a kiss to his cheek.

"Send him through. Thanks, Isa."

The man you were originally expecting to see this morning walks into the kitchen, envelopes in his hand.

"Hey!"

"Hey, Rafael."

He gives you a quick hug, before waving at Bucky.

"Hey, man. You've gotta be the soulmate, right?"

Bucky chuckles, coming over to shake Raf's hand.

"Yeah, that's me. How'd you know?"

"Are you kidding? You can feel it the minute you walk into the room. There's like, electricity in here."

You laugh, hiking yourself up to sit on the counter. Bucky stands next to you, arms crossed over his broad chest.

"Here," Rafael says, handing you an envelope. "We're having a gala next month, for the charity that has supported my sister. We'd love it if you could come - and bring your date too, of course."

"I'd love to," you say as you read the invitation. "Do you need me to bring anything? You know I'll happily make something, if you guys need it."

"You would?"

"Absolutely! I could bring a cake, if you like? I haven't done a proper, three tiered cake in forever. I'd love to."

"That'd be... amazing. Seriously. We just want to raise as much money as possible."

"Of course. Thanks for these, Raf. How is she?"

"She's okay. She's getting a tiny bit stronger every day, and that's all we can really ask for."

You reach a hand out to squeeze his in support.

"You know where I am if you need anything."

"Of course. Thank you, so much. I've gotta run - I've got like a hundred of these invites to deliver. But I'll see you at the weekend?"

"For sure. See you, Raf!"

"Nice to meet you, Bucky."

"You too, man. Take care."

Isa shows Rafael out of the door, winking at you on her way out.

"Damn, he's handsome," Bucky laughs.

"Isn't he?" you giggle. "Nothing on my soulmate though, I'm afraid."

"Shut up," he blushes, leaning in to capture your lips. "You wanna get dinner when you're done here?"

"Yes, please. I'll show you around my new apartment too."

"Can't wait."

There's not an ounce of tension in your muscles as you finish up your bakes for the day, gliding around the kitchen while Bucky stands and watches your every move.

If you could pause time, this would be when you'd do it. You'd be content to live in this moment forever.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

The minute Bucky walks through your front door, he inhales deeply. The entire place smells like you, cosy and golden.

"You like it?"

"It's gorgeous, baby. I love the windows."

He makes his way over to your kitchen, where the glass panes run from floor to ceiling. Sitting on the bench pressed against it, he takes in the view, savouring the feeling of the sun on his face.

You sit down on his lap, draping your legs over him and wrapping your arms around his neck. Nuzzling your face into his jaw, you press a kiss to the stubble, resisting the urge to lick the salt off of his skin.

"Come on," you murmur. "Let me show you my bedroom. The sun sets in that direction, so it's always beautiful in there."

You grab his hand and walk him across the apartment, swinging open the door to your room and pushing him inside.

He takes in the space for a moment before turning in your direction, striding over to smash his lips to yours. You tangle your fingers into his shirt and pull him closer, letting him slip his tongue into your mouth with ease.

Bucky leans in to trail kisses down your neck as he slips your shirt over your head, making quick work of unclasping your bra with skilled fingers. He grasps your chest in both hands, massaging gently as he nips at your throat.

"So fucking pretty," he murmurs. "Haven't stopped thinking about you since you left me."

You whine and unbutton his shirt, shrugging it off his shoulders. You're desperate to see more, desperate to feel his skin on yours, desperate to bare every inch of him.

Your fingers make deft work of his belt, sliding it from its loops and throwing it to the ground. You unpop his button and slide down the zipper, pulling his jeans off his legs in no time. You shimmy out of your skirt, leaving you both in your underwear.

The evening sun seeps through the window panes, illuminating the room in hues of orange and gold. The light hits Bucky's skin, making him glow in a halo of love and adoration.

He walks you backwards, wrapping an arm around your back to throw you onto the white sheets of your bed. Crawling over you, he settles in between your legs, pressing gentle kisses from your ankles to your inner thighs.

"The way you look when you come has been burned in my mind," he whispers. "Need to see it again. It's been too long."

He slides your underwear down your legs and wastes no time, diving into you like a man starved. He devours you, tongue never ceasing it's movements. His hands pry your thighs apart, one arm thrown over your stomach to keep you still. When your muscles start to shake, Bucky doubles down on his efforts, lapping and sucking at you like you're his lifesource.

"Oh, Buck, I'm-"

You see stars as you come, white and silver shapes flying through your vision. Bucky never stops, prolonging your release for as long as he can. When you go boneless, he ceases, pressing kisses to the inside of your knee.

"You okay?" he murmurs, moving so his body smothers yours.

"I'm good," you smile, leaning up to kiss him. You groan when you taste yourself, wrapping your legs around his waist.

"Need you, baby. Please, Buck."

"You sure?"

You smile at him, cradling his face in your hands.

"Couldn't be surer."

He dips down to lick into your mouth once more, shucking his boxers off and throwing them across the room. Slipping a condom on, he lines himself up, eyes meeting yours.

"I need you more than I need air to breathe," he murmurs. "You know that, don't you?"

"Buck," you breathe. "I've been going crazy here without you."

He goes to speak, but stops himself, instead leaning down to kiss your forehead.

"I know," you whisper. "I know."

Bucky slides home in one smooth thrust, both of you gasping. One of his hands finds your hip, the other resting against your throat as an anchor. You wrap your legs around his waist, arms snaking around his shoulders.

"Fuck me, please."

"Fuck," he groans. "I'll be replaying that in my head forever."

You chuckle breathlessly, gasping when he draws his hips back and forward again. He sets an even pace - not too fast, not too slow. He has you right where he wants you, both of your bodies in perfect synchronisity. It feels like the stars have aligned. Everything's fallen into place.

Bucky dances his fingers from your hip to your clit, rubbing firm circles. He plays you like a violin, your muscles tensing as you get closer.

"That's it, pretty girl. Fuck, you're so good for me. You close, honey? Gonna come for me again?"

You nod frantically as he picks up his pace, hips colliding with yours. He groans as you tighten around him, head dropping to rest against yours.

"Come for me, honey girl," he whispers. "Please."

Your back arches as you find your release, nails scratching at the skin of Bucky's back. The pain tips him over the edge, spilling inside of you with a deep groan. He collapses on top of you, both of your chests heaving.

"I think we're naturals at that," you chuckle hoarsely.

"You think it's the soulmate thing, or are we just that good?"

"I think we're just that good," you laugh, pushing him off your body so he lands next to you. You link your fingers with his, resting your head on his chest.

"I need a drink."

"I was just thinking that, actually. You wanna go out? Know anywhere?"

"There's a cute little bar that looks out over the cove - it has good food and good cocktails. You wanna go there?"

"I'd go anywhere with you," he affirms, pressing a kiss into your hair.

"I'd kill for a pineapple margarita right now."

Bucky sits up suddenly, bringing you with him, arms wrapped around you.

"Then let's go get my girl a pineapple margarita."

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

The golden lights adorn the beams of wood above your head, the deck illuminated in the gentle glow. The ocean waves break the shore in a comfortingly repetitive motion, a calming soundtrack to the evening. You sit across from Bucky at your table for two, the sunset casting orange hues across the horizon.

"It's beautiful out here."

"Yeah," you agree, smiling. "The view is pretty good."

Your eyes haven't left his, lost in the sea blue of his irises. He chuckles, running his thumb over the back of your hand where it rests atop the table.

"This is our first date, you know."

"Really?"

"I mean, we've been 'dating' this whole time - but we've never gone out and had dinner like this. Held hands and all."

"You're right. Our first date of many, huh?"

"Our first of countless," he grins, brushing his lips over your knuckles in a gentle kiss.

"Where do my parents think you are?"

"Visiting a cousin in Nevada."

You laugh, and the sound makes Bucky light up, electricity running through his veins.

"You're a scarily good liar."

"To everyone but you."

"I used to think I was a good liar. Until I met you, that is."

Just as he's about to respond, your waitress appears, two pineapple margaritas in hand. She takes your orders and leaves, smiling at you.

"Oh, shit. She forgot to give us straws. I'm gonna grab some - be right back."

You chase her inside, tapping her shoulder gently.

"Excuse me - could I get a couple of straws, please?"

"Of course. Sorry!" she apologises, handing them to you.

"Thank you! Your shirt is so cute, by the way."

"Thanks - it's thrifted! You're gorgeous, girl. And your boyfriend is stupidly hot too. You're a pretty couple."

You thank her and laugh, returning to Bucky with a grin on your face.

"What's got you smiling?"

"The waitress called you my boyfriend."

"Huh. As much as I love the commitment... boyfriend kinda sounds like we're in ninth grade, doesn't it?"

You throw your head back, laughing with your entire being.

"That's what I thought. There's gotta be a better word. Partner? No, that makes us sound forty."

"I am almost forty."

"Oops."

Bucky rolls his eyes, but he can't wipe the blinding grin from his face. He takes out his phone and snaps a quick picture of you, admiring the way the breeze caresses your face as the setting sun beats down.

"Sneaky," you tease. "Let me see?"

He hands you the phone, letting you look through. You swipe right one too many times, and accidentally land on a picture of a blueprint laid out across a kitchen counter. His kitchen counter.

"Babe... what's this?"

You don't miss the way Bucky's cheeks heat up, blush creeping across his chest that's exposed by the V neckline of his blue button up. He stutters for a moment, before finding his footing.

"They're blueprints. Plans for a house."

"A house?"

"I want to build a house."

When you keep looking at him softly, he doubles down.

"I want to build a house for us."

Your breath hitches in your chest, the world going silent momentarily.

"You... you do?"

"My Dad worked in construction my entire childhood. I watched him build houses, apartment buildings, bungalows... everything. I've always wanted to do it, but never had reason to. Until now."

You squeeze his hand, urging him to continue.

"I've been planning it for upwards of ten years. But I'm taking it more seriously, now. Those blueprints are the final ones. It's all mapped out, down to the square inch. I've made some modifications for you, obviously."

He zooms in on the picture, pointing out areas on the plans.

"I've added a big island in the kitchen with a tonne of storage in it, for all of your supplies. I know you have that huge mixer, so I've made sure there's enough space for it to fit underneath with the doors closed."

You take a deep breath, lump in your throat forming unwillingly.

"Up here, there's a window at the top of the stairs. I've added a sketch of a bench which I'll upholster, so you can sit and read in the sunlight."

Tangling your legs with his under the table, you urge him to continue.

"I've also made sure there's a balcony off the master bedroom that overlooks the garden. I know how much you love sitting on yours in your apartment at home. There's probably like a hundred more little modifications for you, but those are just a few."

Tears are running down your cheeks freely, emotion escaping you like a flash flood.

"Bucky..."

"If it's too much too soon, please tell me. I won't be offended, baby. I know it's a lot."

"It's perfect."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

You jump up from your seat and around the table, throwing yourself into his lap to kiss him happily.

"I can't wait to build a house with you, Buck."

He grins at you, joy radiating off him in waves.

"Buck?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

He blinks back tears for a second, processing the words he's been waiting to hear for what feels like an eternity.

"I love you too, honey girl. My pretty baby."

He leans in to kiss you tenderly, the rest of the world melting away. It feels like it's just the two of you, floating on cloud nine.

Suddenly, you get it. You understand why people say this is the greatest thing that'll ever happen.

It is. They were right all along.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

After several pineapple flavoured cocktails and a taco or four, you and Bucky take a slow stroll home, hand in hand along the sidewalk.

"You wanna have a sleepover tonight?" you ask, digging your heels into the ground to stop yourself from skipping with glee.

"Can't think of anything I want more," he chuckles.

You walk a little while longer, content to bask in the comfortable silence.

"Guess what happened a few days ago."

"What, honey?"

"Stella asked me to be her business partner."

He stops where he is, turning to face you but never letting go of your hand.

"Wait, really?"

"Mhmmm."

"And how do you feel about that?"

"I was unsure, at first. But I'm going to do it. I've been thinking about this for a while, actually. We had to take a business class in culinary school, and I actually learned a lot. I've had a business plan for the future of the café drafted up for months. Numbers, locations, investors, everything. I'm really serious about this, you know."

He's gazing at you like you hung the moon, eyes bright and adoring.

You sit down on a bench, looking out over the coastal path. Bucky joins you, arm heavy over your shoulders.

"I can't stay here."

His head whips around.

"Baby..."

"I mean it, Buck. I like this city, I do, but I just can't settle. It feels like a placeholder until I can go home. And it's not fair to Stella, if it feels like I'm half in half out."

He goes to speak, but you're on a roll.

"I'm suggesting that we franchise the business. It's the logical next step anyway, it was just a matter of choosing the right location. I'm proposing somewhere a hell of a lot closer to home. To you. To my parents. And that means we'll have one branch on the east coast, and one on the west. We can start filling the middle, in the future."

"Are you... are you sure?"

"I've never been surer of anything, James Buchanan Barnes. I wanna start my life with you. Telling my parents, building a house, furthering my career. I'm ready, now."

Bucky grabs your face in his warm hands, kissing you with more passion than you ever thought possible. It's all the answer you need.

"I want you to read over my plan, when we get back to my place. But it's tight, Buck. I've been perfecting it for months. There's no way Stella can say no - I've made it so she won't want to. Besides, she just wants me to be happy. And this... this will make me happy. Happy beyond words."

Bucky stands up, wrapping his arms around your middle to bring you with him. He spins you around, laughing when you squeal in surprise.

"I'm so proud of you, honey baby. I love you so much."

"I love you," you grin. "More than I ever thought possible."

Bucky practically carries you home, both of you giddy on excitement and hope.

You wake up tangled in his arms, sunlight beaming down onto your skin through the open window. Happiness, you think. It's finally here.

Happiness. It's finally here.

tag list part one -

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[allthesethingswillendsoon]

Long, long time

CHAPTER FIVE: There's a first time for everything

SUMMARY: Seventh grade marks some memorable firsts for the girls, both good and bad.

NOTE: Okay whoopsie this lowkey took me ages, but it's over double what I said it would be the other day, but it's not proofread, so if there are any mega plotholes just let me know. I don't mind this one, I think it could've been better but also it's like quite a memorable one for their plot development so like yeah. Also I'm thinking of also posting this on ao3 because I prefer reading on that platform so tell me if you think that's a good or bad idea. Okay, I hope everyone likes it and thinks it's semi-worth the wait.

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Warnings: Little bit of angst, Jealous Paige 6.6k words Pairing: Paige Bueckers x Azzi Fudd

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20th of FEBRUARY, 2015

OAKRIDGE, VIRGINIA

It was a normal, seemingly average Tuesday when it happened.

Paige woke up, she chucked on her clothes and went downstairs. She said a quick goodbye to her dad as he left for work and ate cereal at the kitchen counter. When the clock hit eight she grabbed her backpack and locked the front door. Azzi was waiting at the front gate as always.

They walked to school at a not too slow-not too fast pace, Azzi chattering about her crazy dream the night before - something about gingerbread men and a zombie apocalypse. From the moment they started walking to the moment they stopped, the dark-haired girl made a point to fill the air between them with consistent conversation, not that Paige minded, it was nice to just listen sometimes. 

The first bell rang as they entered the school, and the best friends parted ways for their classes, Paige to Maths and Azzi to French. First period rolled into second period, which rolled into third period. Finally, after an agonizing three hours of education, it was time for lunch.

Tuesday was renowned for having the best lunch, mac and cheese. It was simply mind blowing that the lunch ladies -who were almost always one health code violation away from unemployment- were able to create such delicious food. Each bite was other-worldly, the perfect ratio of pasta to sauce. And after such a draining morning, every student at Oakridge Middle School was absolutely desperate for a taste of heaven.

Paige scoffed at the line of eager kids waiting for their bowl, amateur hour. If they were smart they would have known that you’re allowed to get two bowls, if Miss Amanda likes you that is. All Paige had to say on the matter was that Miss Amanda loved Azzi, arguably more than her own daughter. So, with a proud grin, Paige waltzed her way past the queue over to her lunch table.

Azzi and Paige had sat together at the same lunch table every day since they started middle school. They shared their table with a few other girls in their grade, who they were friendly with. It was a peaceful arrangement, and the cohabitation worked well for both groups.

As she neared the table, Paige felt her heart drop, something was very, very wrong. The state of the cafeteria could be described as pure pandemonium. Each pre-teen wolfing food into their mouths like their lives depended on it, and some of the most violent line-cutting techniques could be observed. Paige herself had been looking forward to their silent lunch break, expecting both her and her best friend to be fully focussing on their food as was normal on a Tuesday.

So, when her table came into sight, there was no doubt that something horrible had happened to Azzi Fudd. The scene was comparable to a renaissance painting, amongst all the chaos sat Azzi, two glorious bowls of mac and cheese in front of her, both of them perfectly untouched. She was staring ahead, eyebrows furrowed as if she was deep in thought. 

There were many things Paige didn’t like about the world, but the thing she liked the least was seeing Azzi distressed. With a deep breath she walked over to the table, prepared to beat up whoever it was that had messed with her best friend.

“Hey Az!” Paige exclaimed as she sat down, her voice filled with so much enthusiasm it seemed almost fake.

“Hey Paige.” Azzi responded, glancing at her with that same pensieve look she’d had when she was sitting by herself.

Okay, now this was concerning. Not to be too full of herself or anything, but Paige was usually a fix-all for any of Azzi’s bad moods, so the fact her presence changed nothing, was definitely an issue. 

“Everything good? You look a bit upset.” 

“No, I'm not upset.” The younger girl answered, giving absolutely no sign of not being upset.

“That’s good, I’m glad to hear that.” Sure, she was glad to hear her best friend say she wasn’t upset, but that statement didn’t mean much when the best friend in question looked like she might drop dead from stress in the next minute.

Just before she was able to continue her investigation, Azzi took in a big breath, as if trying to breathe in all the courage she could, before she started, “Listen Paige, I need to tell you something.”

Oh god, what could it be? A death in the family? An illness? She didn’t even want to think, could she be… moving? No. No. That was not the time for spiralling. Paige took a moment to compose herself. Azzi was clearly upset by whatever was happening, and the last thing Paige wanted was to make her even more upset by reacting anxiously. 

In the most calm tone she could muster, she asked, “Okay?”

“I’ve been keeping a secret from you.” Azzi said. She had clearly tried to sound confident, but the words came out sounding oh-so very sad.

“What? You’re a mob boss or something?” She joked, hoping to take away some of the tension that Azzi seemed to be drowning in.

“No, not that.” She deadpanned. Now, Paige was aware that it wasn’t her best joke, but she still thought it deserved a little laughter. 

Normally Paige’s crappy dad jokes were enough to take Azzi’s mind off whatever was troubling her for at least a second, but nothing was cracking her shell. For a moment, Paige let her composure slip, “Just tell me Az, you’re really stressing me out.”

Then, Azzi’s stressed exterior slipped, giving way to a softer look, the one she saved for Paige, “Okay, so you know Aaron?”

Paige ran through a mental list of kids in their grade before she questioned, “Aaron B or Aaron W?”

“Aaron B.” Azzi replied. It was probably a trick of the light or something, but Paige swore that as her best friend answered the corner of her mouth flickered up into a smile.

“Yeah I know him. Didn’t he pee his pants sleepwalking at sixth grade camp or something?” Paige chuckled at the memory, there was nothing like the silly fun of a school camp.

“That was Aaron W, not Aaron B.” Azzi stated matter-of-factly. 

Not laughing at the mob boss joke, sure Paige could get that. But not laughing at the thought of a twelve year old sleepwalking and sleep-peeing, simply unheard of.

Paige usually had pretty thick skin, but for some reason Azzi’s reaction mellowed her out, “Oh, right.”

For the second time, Azzi softened, her gaze meeting Paige’s almost apologetically, before she continued, “Anyways, so Aaron B?”

It was weird, the way she was acting. Her worried demeanour was a stark contrast to the urgency and statementness of her words. It seemed as if Azzi had been tasked with telling Paige this secret with as little personality as possible.

“What about him?” Paige questioned, deciding to help the younger girl move her explaining along.

“Well…” Azzi started, before suddenly developing the most intense interest in staring at literally anything other than the blonde girl sitting with her. A solid minute of silent waiting passed by, with Paige waiting to see what she had to say, and Azzi questioning if it was too late to back out.

Just when Paige thought she would never hear her best friend speak again, Azzi blurted, “He asked me to be his girlfriend.”

“What?! Paige near-yelled, she had almost stood up from the table in her outrage,“You said no, right?!” 

Who did this chumbag think he was? Asking the Azzi Fudd to be his girlfriend? 

God, it must have felt great for Azzi to put him in his place.

Nothing in the entire, ever-expanding universe could have prepared her for the words that came out of her best friend’s mouth, “I said yes.”

The words dropped like a bomb, waves of shock almost knocking Paige to the ground.

“What the fuck Az!? Why!?” This time Paige stood up from the table, hands slamming down, shaking the bowls of mac and cheese, before Azzi pulled her back down.

She got this shy look on her face as she spoke, her cheeks and ears burning, “I dunno. He’s cute, and he’s nice and funny.” For the first time during that lunch break, Azzi smiled. It was a different smile, one Paige hadn’t seen before. Once she saw it, she immediately wished she could unsee it. There was something about that smile, it held a different weight than her usual ones, like it meant something more, something deeper than when she smiled at Paige.

There was only one explanation, Azzi had gone crazy, and as her lifelong best friend, it was up to Paige to talk some sense into her, “Yeah, so what? I’m all of those things, doesn’t mean you’re gonna date me!”

Paige’s words settled in the air as Azzi returned her gaze to her. For the third time Azzi’s demeanor softened. She looked at her with such lightness, as if the weight of her vision would crack Paige’s skin open. Normally she liked it, but normal definitely did not include her best friend dating some random boy she barely knew,

Paige knew she was strong and she didn’t like to be babied, her exterior was tough and hard to break. The only people she ever really let loose around was her dad, and the Fudds. She knew none of the kids at school would ever be able to pick it, but she was a major dad’s girl. Not in the stereotypical, ‘pink princess’ way, but just in the way that her Dad was her hero, and Bob gave everything he had and more to Paige no matter what. With the Fudds, they were like the extended family she had never really had, being with them was great, she knew she was like a daughter to Katie and Tim, and like a sister to Jon and Jose. That being said, they were the people who saw her at her highs and lows, and they knew when to go hard or easy on her.

But with Azzi it was different. With Azzi she let herself go soft, let her guarded exterior turn mushy. Paige couldn’t count the amount of times she had cried over her mom, over life, tucked into the crook of Azzi’s neck. She would look at her with those soft eyes, and Paige knew it wasn’t patronising, she knew Azzi would never hold her moments of vulnerability against her. It was the only time she would ever let herself be unguarded. 

But in that moment not even the look on Azzi’s face could make her feel better.

Yet, the whole situation was somehow made worse when Azzi spoke again, “It’s different Paige. Surely you’ve had a crush on someone before, it’s just different.” 

With her words, some deep-seated anger arose from Paige. It was a weird feeling, being upset with Azzi - it had never happened before. Why would she say that, “It’s just different.”? Like their friendship meant nothing in comparison to her snapchat streak with a un-potty trained seventh grader.

“Yeah whatever Az.” Paige spat, her voice dripping with venom, “Why don’t you go and change his diaper or something?”

That time, Paige’s words were the ones to shock Azzi, “Why are you mad at me?!” Confusion was etched all across her face. “And also I told you that was Aaron W not B!”

“Same-same. Now if you don’t mind I have some Mac and cheese to eat.” Paige spoke dismissively, turning to give her full attention to her mac and cheese as she poked at it.

Paige avoided eye contact with Azzi like her life depended on it, not even daring to glance at her as she stared at her from across the table. It wasn’t until the second end-of-lunch bell rang that Azzi finally got up, leaving Paige to sit there with her thoughts.

And for the first time ever, Paige sat without Azzi at the table, and binned two, full bowls of mac and cheese.

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24th of FEBRUARY, 2015

OAKRIDGE, VIRGINIA

Paige had never considered herself a violent, or mean person. But there was just something about seeing Azzi and Aaron together that made her want to scream and yell and throw things. There were just so many things to dislike about Aaron, it was really hard to pinpoint exactly what made him so horrible.

Objectively speaking, he wasn’t ugly per se, but he definitely wasn’t a looker either. He had a button nose, a sharp jawline, clear skin, and bright green eyes. 

When she put it like that she knew that it sounded like he could be attractive - but he was not. 

Looking at Aaron was a jarring experience. It had never occurred to Paige how creepy-looking he was until Azzi started dating him.  Aaron had managed to ruin her brooding time, she couldn’t glare at her best friend without seeing his ugly face, or hearing his revolting voice - or worse, his laugh.

When she heard two girls in English talking about how lucky Azzi was to be his girlfriend she barely stopped herself from turning and strangling them both, and instead shut her mouth as tight as she could, and clenched her fists till her knuckles were pure white. 

To take her mind off the situation, she imagined him as a child, coming home from yet another lonely, friendless day at school to find his mother hosting an afternoon tea with her friends. They would fawn over him, and say “You’re going to be such a heartbreaker!” as they pinched his cheeks. Of course, they all knew it wasn’t the truth, but that’s just what you say to unfortunate looking kids, who grow up to be unfortunate looking pre-teens that ask out girls way out of their league.

Maybe what irked her was the fact that Azzi had smiled when she spoke about him, that saying the things she liked about him broke her out of her broody trance. Or maybe it was the way her cheeks had tinted the prettiest pink. How the galaxies in her dark brown eyes lit up a thousand times brighter. How the dimple in her cheek popped when she hung out with him, how her laughter at his shitty jokes echoed through the halls, honey sweet and sing-songy.

It was only when she came upon that specific reason for not liking him that she realised that maybe that gnawing, sour feeling that had settled low in her belly was something more akin to jealousy. And then, in the same strand of thoughts she decided to stop thinking altogether about why she didn’t like him, and instead just double down on the fact that Aaron sucked and she absolutely hated him. 

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27th of FEBRUARY, 2015

OAKRIDGE VIRGINIA

The final nail in the coffin came when Paige left her third period Spanish class. 

It was a Tuesday, which meant the best mac and cheese in the world. But it also meant it had been a week since Paige and Azzi had last spoken.

If avoiding Azzi was an olympic sport, then Paige had become a twenty-time gold medalist.

 For the first few days they weren’t talking, Paige made a point to stay in Azzi’s vision. She had decided that if she had to be reminded of the emptiness of Azzi in her life, then Azzi should be reminded of Paige. She made sure to be subtle with it, instead of standing directly in front of her, she’d ensure that Azzi would catch glimpses of her from her peripheral vision. Paige would watch as Azzi would spot her, then she would force herself to keep a straight face as she watched her best friend apologise to Aaron for forgetting what it was he had been saying.

That whole thing had been going perfectly, exactly to plan, but then it just started to make her really sad and really angry, and then, of course, her only option was to avoid Azzi, no matter what it took.

She thought it would be simple, she knew Azzi's entire timetable, she knew which hallways she walked down, she wouldn’t be surprised if she could estimate the amount of steps it took for her to get from point A to B. So in theory, it should’ve been smooth sailing to stay away from her, but nothing in her life had been easy, except Azzi - up until that point.

Aaron simply had to ruin, not only her friendship with her best friend, but also her ploy to never see her again. Obviously, because she wasn’t weird, she had absolutely zero idea about Aaron’s timetable, let alone his whereabouts, and in the past week the boyfriend-girlfriend duo had become attached at the hip, meaning it was nearly impossible to avoid them. The key word being nearly.

Paige had been working tirelessly to avoid the both of them, and somehow she had been able to manage it. Her genius strategy? Waiting till the second bell to leave for her next class. On the negative side, she had sprinted away from basically every hall monitor in the school multiple times. But on the positive, she had not seen Aaron and Azzi together in days, which was basically all she wanted.

As glad as she was to not see them together, it was the first time ever that Paige wasn’t on speaking terms with Azzi, and it made her really, really sad. Which was why she wasn’t thinking straight when she left third period Spanish and walked her usual route to the cafeteria - out the language corridor, round the gym, past Aaron and Azzi holding hands, then home-free into the cafeteria.

What. The. Actual. Fucking. Fuck.

Paige isn’t a squeamish person in the least, but the sight of Azzi’s soft hand encased in Aaron’s sweaty one nearly made her throw up. It was surreal, it felt like time had paused, like Paige was floating in time, stuck in place staring at them as they walked hand-in-hand down the hall.

She could have stayed in her trance all day, glued down in the centre of the hallway, but thanks to Mac and cheese Tuesday the hordes of smelly tweens are pushing her forward towards the cafeteria.

Just like the week before she walked past the lunch line and went straight to her table. Since Azzi had been sitting with Aaron and his little minions, Paige had been left to sit with the girls they shared their table with. There were four of them, and they were nice, something Paige had never cared to notice, too busy with Azzi to pay attention to the girls sitting two feet away from them.

They were nice in all the cliche ways, but what made their kindness stand out was the fact they had not mentioned Azzi once, and had simply invited Paige into their conversations. It was good for her to talk to other people, to get out of her head. 

She was aware that she hadn’t been looking or acting her best since the previous Tuesday, but no one had said anything or shown a reaction to her disheveled appearance. It was only on that Tuesday, when Paige had stomped her way to the table that the girls had acknowledged her delicate state.

“Hey Paige!” Shania greeted, her friendly smile quickly growing concerned as she and the rest of the group took in her severely agitated condition, “Are you alright?”

“Wha- Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Nothing to worry about here!” The table continued to stare at her worriedly, perhaps more so after her seemingly, self-assuring response.

“Oookay, cool.” Shania responded, voice filled with nothing but good-willed apprehension.

The table fell into silence, the girls trying to figure out how to deal with Paige’s nuclear state, and Paige trying to act as normal as she could after seeing her best friend of seven years holding hands with a grubby boy.

“Oh my gosh, I forgot to tell you about this Paige! There’s a party this Friday at Ryan’s, and you should totally come along!” Emma squealed at her excitedly.

“Yeah, sure, I’d like that.” Paige responded, trying her hardest to sound happy despite herself.

“Yay! I’ll text you the deets,” Emma said, passing Paige her phone, encased in pink diamontes, “Put your number in.”

Paige dutifully poked in her phone number before handing it back. The girls fell into conversation about the party, talking about drinks and other people that were going. Paige was content with letting it go in one ear and out the other, until she heard the name ‘Aaron B’ sandwiched in between the names of the other partygoers.

Aaron going to the party meant Azzi going to the party, that meant they were both going to the party that Paige was going to. Great. Just great. She would get front row seats to their love-fest, how exciting.

For some reason that knowledge didn’t make her cancel, instead it fueled her with reasons to go. She wanted to be there, and wanted to be the one to surprise Azzi with her presence. She wanted her to feel that same stomach dropping feeling she had felt all week, she wanted to be the one with the upper hand. Another, softer part of her, wanted her first, boy-girl, alcohol party to be the same as Azzi’s, even if they weren’t experiencing it together, together.

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2nd of MARCH, 2015

OAKRIDGE VIRGINIA

The school day had dragged on for so long Paige had accepted the fact that it would never end, meaning she nearly cried tears of joy when the end-of-school bell had rung out through the halls.

Ever since Tuesday she had been buzzing with both nerves and excitement. She was convinced that going to her first proper party would cause some cosmic shift within her universe, like the clouds would part and the angels would sing to her the second her hands touched the glass of a lukewarm berry cruiser.

With much more enthusiasm than necessary she had swiped her book into her backpack and power-walked out of school. That had become a prime part of the ‘avoiding Azzi’ plan, leaving way too early for school in the morning, and booking out of school the second it ended to make sure their paths didn’t cross.

As she walked into their street, a pang of guilt struck through her chest at the sight of the Fudd house. It had been killing her, not just the radio silence between her and Azzi, but the subsequent disconnect that had happened between her and the rest of Azzi’s family. 

It was odd, she hadn’t felt the shoulder punches from Jon and Jose in over a week. Hadn’t been yelled at motherly by Katie in over a week. Hadn’t been pulled into a daughter and extra-daughter hug by Tim in over a week. They were things that were a part of her daily life that she had always taken for granted, assuming they’d always be there. 

That wasn’t the only thing she had missed, mostly she had been missing Azzi. Paige missed her so much, she just missed everything about her. And she had officially decided that she would try to make up with Azzi, preferably as soon as possible. Her best case scenario had her hoping for a reconciliation at the party that night. All she had to do was pull her away from Aaron and she was golden, she was one hundred percent sure that Azzi would forgive her once she apologised, because she really was sorry.

The more and more she thought about the whole situation the more she realised how absolutely crazy she had been acting, from quite literally the moment Azzi told her. It was like a switch had flipped in her brain, and all rational thinking had been thrown out the window.

As she showered and got dressed for the party Paige was growing increasingly excited at the prospect of speaking to Azzi again after what felt like a lifetime of separation.

She got her dad to drop her off at seven-thirty at Ryan’s house. Her dad had given her a stern talking to about drugs and alcohol, and the dangers of them. 

Unfortunately, Bob would have been severely disappointed to find out that Paige had accepted a cruiser immediately upon arrival. As excited as she was to talk to Azzi, she was also desperately nervous about going to her first party, and having to enter by herself. Although the cruiser didn’t reveal cosmic secrets to her, it did send the lightest buzz through her, and inspire her to go to the kitchen and concoct a wickedly bitter vodka-juice blend in a plastic red cup.

After a while of floating around, Paige spotted Shania and her friends in the corner, and quickly made her way towards them. As she does she scans the room for Azzi and/or Aaron. That still made her upset, that they were now always together, like Paige and Azzi usually were, but whatever, Paige was there to make up with Azzi, not trash on her stupid boyfriend.

She walked up to the girls and fell into the simple chatter that they constantly had going. It was nice, they were nice, the way the alcohol made her feel was nice. She was content, simply standing there huddled in a circle with them as they discussed something Paige really didn’t care about. It appeared they were going to stay like that, until someone yelled ‘Spin the bottle time!’.

Suddenly, everyone, including Paige, was shoved into the basement, a large, misshapen circle of people sat in the centre of the room. Scanning the room once again, Paige finally saw her.

Azzi was sitting in the circle, pressed up against Aaron on one side and some random cheerleader on the other. She was wearing a pink sweater and her nicest pair of jeans, her hair was out and her lips were glossed a soft mauve. To put it simply, she looked really pretty.

Paige was leaning against a wall, her third drink and second cruiser of the night held firmly in her hand. She had opted out of the game, not wanting to have to swap spit with some stupid boy in her grade if the bottle were to land on her.

It suddenly hit her that she was sitting out of the game because she didn’t want to kiss someone, and that Azzi was sitting in on the game because she did want to kiss someone. And that someone would obviously be her boyfriend.

The thought of Azzi kissing him made her shudder, but she pushed it to the side. Azzi was her best friend and it should not have mattered to Paige who she kissed, so she decided not to care.

For the amount of hype the game had received, it was actually quite boring. Someone would spin the bottle, the bottle would land on someone, they would kiss, then the process would repeat. It wasn’t until Kathy Libertman spun the bottle and it landed on Johnny Albertson that there were some oohs and aahs. The fact that Kathy had the world’s most massive crush on Johnny was as widely accepted as the fact that two plus two equals four.

As Paige chuckled at the spin she glanced towards Azzi, who looked up at her at that exact moment. Instead of looking away like she would have a few days ago she held her gaze, blue eyes on brown for the first time in too long, and smiled just a little. A look of confusion mixed with shock passed over Azzi’s face before the corner’s of her mouth flicked up.

God that felt good. The cruisers hadn’t changed her life, but seeing her best friend smile at her like that again made Paige think that maybe the universe was on her side.

After Johnny had adeptly swerved Kathy, a few more rounds passed. Then, it was Aaron’s turn. Azzi was trying to play it cool, but Paige knew every single one of her nervous tells, the clench of her jaw and the furrow of her brows softening for a second as Paige gave her an encouraging nod.

Aaron reached into the circle and spun the empty coke bottle. It spun and spun and spun before coming to a perfect stop between Azzi and the cheerleader next to her.

The chatter of the room dissipated immediately as everyone watched in anticipation. Azzi was visibly distressed, and even Paige was nervous as to where the situation was headed.

Aaron hesitated for a moment, his gaze flickering between his girlfriend, the strawberry-blonde girl next to her, and the coke bottle. With a big intake of air, he leant forward over Azzi and kissed the cheerleader. The room erupted in a mix of confusion and support.

Everyone in the room was watching as Aaron and the cheerleader kissed for what seemed like forever, but Paige had her eyes trained on Azzi, who looked like a deer in the headlights stuck between them. Pushing through the room, Paige reached a hand out to Azzi who gladly took it and let herself be pulled out of the room and onto the street.

They stood in companionable silence, there were things they needed to say, but not yet.

It was nearing eleven o’clock when Paige called her dad to pick them up. The night air was chilly but when Paige’s hand brushed against Azzi, her whole body heated up from her best friend’s warmth.

Paige didn’t know if Azzi had been drinking or not, but she knew when they got into her dad’s car that he would know that Paige had in fact been drinking, and hadn’t heeded her dad’s warning. She expected a lecture on the danger of drinking but instead was met with absolutely zero conversation directed towards her, instead, her dad was talking to Azzi, catching up with her about the past week and a half of their lives. It hadn’t occurred to her till then that Azzi was just as much a part of her family as Paige was a part of hers - she had missed Azzi in her life so much.

The two girls went straight to Paige’s room and Bob to his. Only when they were tucked safely into the gentle warmth of the bedroom did Paige speak, “Listen, I’m really sorry Az. I don’t know why I was being so crazy, he just made me so upset, like I knew you were way out of his league and I just knew that you deserved way, way better than him.”

After her rant Paige sort of expected Azzi to get mad at her and let out her anger at the whole situation, yet Azzi simply smiled, “Yeah you were being pretty crazy, but I’m sorry too”

Paige scoffed at that, earning a confused chuckle from Azzi, “What are you sorry for? You literally did nothing wrong.”

“Well I should’ve told you ages ago, we had been texting every night for two whole weeks before he asked me out, and I don’t really know why I didn’t tell you… It’s just  that I was really worried you were gonna react… exactly like you reacted, y’know?” The curly-haired girl explained.

“Yeah, I get that, I did have like the worst reaction a person could have,” Paige confessed softly  “I mean, I’m just so sorry Az, I wish I never got angry, I’ve missed you so much.” 

Azzi pulled the blonde in for a hug, her head nestled in the crook of Azzi’s neck, the familiar, sweet aroma of her perfume filling her senses.

With a squeeze Azzi pulled away, before she flopped face-first onto Paige’s bed, “God that was so embarrassing.”

It was quite the situation, but it was definitely way more embarrassing for Aaron, like, fumbling the single-most pretty and smart and kind and funny girl in the whole school. She decided against saying that, and instead tried to lighten the situation, “Could’ve been worse, you saw what happened to Kathy.”

“Yeah, but Johnny’s not her boyfriend.” Azzi mumbled from her spot splayed out on Paige’s bed.

“That’s true I guess.” Paige responded thoughtfully, accepting defeat.

“Great. thanks Paigey.” She grumbled light-heartedly.

Right before Paige went to apologise Azzi sprang up into a sitting position on the bed, “It just sucks y’know?”

“Yeah I know.” Paige hummed in agreement. Their shoulders were pressed together again, and Paige could feel the touch and the alcohol mixing and making her brain short circuit a little 

“Like I really thought I was gonna have my first kiss tonight” Azzi huffed in upset annoyance.

“Well look on the bright side, he’s a mega dick, so really you dodged a bullet.” Paige reassured her. 

As much as she was glad that Azzi had found out what a douche he was, she wished even more that it had happened quietly, not in front of a big crowd of people.

“You’re actually quite right.” Azzi agreed after considering her statement for a moment.

Paige playfully shoved her with her shoulder, “Of course I am.”

Azzi went quiet for a second before she turned to look Paige in the eyes, “Yeah. I want my first kiss to mean something. To be with someone that really cares about me and stuff.”

The words came from her mouth before she could think about what she was saying, “I mean you still could.” 

Paige didn’t know what it was that made her say that. Maybe it was the liquid courage from before. Or maybe it was the adrenaline from making up with her best friend. Or maybe, just maybe, it was the way the streetlight glow filtering in through the windows was hitting Azzi’s cheekbones just right, how her lashes were long and her lips full. How Paige wasn’t sure she had ever truly appreciated Azzi’s beauty before the way it was meant to be.

“What do you mean?” Azzi asked. It seemed like a question, but with the way Azzi was batting her eyelashes at her, it started to seem more like a challenge.

Paige’s brain actually did short circuit for a split second that time, but then, mostly thanks to the liquor, she decided to just double down and speak with confidence.

“I think you know what I mean” She responded, her blue eyes flickering from Azzi’s doe-y brown ones to her soft lips.

Almost imperceptibly, Azzi shifted closer. 

“Yeah.” She breathed out shakily, breaking eye contact to not so subtly look at Paige’s mouth.

“So can I?” Paige asked, moving her hand to rest on Azzi’s shoulder; confidence suddenly oozing out of her every pore.

“Yes.” Azzi responded quickly, her eyes trained only on her best friend’s mouth, before starting again, as if trying to regain some dignity, “Yeah. Yes please.”

Paige gave a soft smile before moving her hand up to cup Azzi’s jaw, the other settling feather-light on her waist. She watched as Azzi’s breath hitches, and her eyes flickered close. Paige followed suit, leaning in slowly. Azzi’s hands were hovering over both of her shoulders, as if unsure of what to do. Paige doesn’t mind though, if it weren’t for the alcohol that was running amok through her system they probably wouldn’t have even been in that situation in the first place.

After an eternity of leaning in, their lips touched in a soft peck. Only for a second, before they pulled away. Azzi tasted sweet, like canned lemonade and strawberry scented lip gloss. Her skin was warm under Paige’s hands.

Maybe it had been minutes or days or years since their kiss, neither were sure. All Paige knew was that she wanted to kiss Azzi again, and so she did. That time she let herself linger, let herself apply a little bit of pressure, and in return Azzi pressed in a little harder too. When Azzi made a little sound of contentment Paige thought she might explode. She wanted to keep going, but something told her to stop, to let it be good just as it was.

When she pulled away and opened her eyes, Azzi still had hers closed. And for a split second, Paige swore she caught a smile on her face, a kind of smile she had never given to Paige before.

Now that was it. That was the cosmic feeling Paige had been waiting for. Scratch the cruisers, scratch everything else, that was the feeling. The kind that people chase their whole lives, and Paige had just experienced it on a random Friday night in the quiet of her room.

Friendship really was magical. 

Azzi was her best friend, of course it would be her, they were the closest of all platonic soulmates.

A few seconds later, Azzi opened her eyes, and smiled at her. Her hands were still on Paige’s shoulders and she decided that she wouldn’t mind holding onto each other like that forever.

Kicking off their shoes they surrendered to wearing their outside clothes to sleep. Paige had a double bed, which was the absolute perfect size for two people in Azzi’s opinion.

They tangled together in a mess of warm limbs under the blanket. Azzi had her head on Paige’s chest, listening to the rhythmic thumping of her heartbeat.

“Thanks Paigey. I’m glad you were my first kiss” She whispered against her jumpered chest.

“I’m glad you were mine too Az, that’s what best friends are for, right?” Paige smiled good-naturedly, her chin coming to rest against Azzi’s head.

Azzi let out a little choked sound before she responded, “Yeah, best friends, totally.”

Paige ignored the weird way she was talking - it had been a long night - and pulled Azzi into her just a little tighter, prepared to let sleep take over.

Just when she thought she was about to fall asleep she heard Azzi’s whisper again, “Paige, you were right.”

“Yeah I usually am.” Paige smirked sleepily.

“So full of yourself, god.” Azzi said as she used her arm draped around Paige’s waist to poke her in the side.

Wincing slightly Paige gloated, “That’s like the second time you’ve said something like that to me tonight.”

“Yeah whatever you goof.” Azzi conceded, seemingly forgetting about whatever it was she had to say.

Paige wanted to sleep, but she wanted to know what it was that Azzi was going to tell her, “Wait, so what specifically was I right about?” she asked as she gave Azzi’s shoulder a soft squeeze.

“Oh right” Azzi spoke softly, “It was Aaron B.”

Azzi always got a little out of it when she was tired, but she always remembered to finish her sentences, “It was Aaron B, what?”

Paige thought she had fallen back asleep after Azzi had gone silent for so long, but after taking a quick inhale of breath Azzi answered quietly, “It was Aaron B that peed his pants on sixth grade camp.”

If it weren’t for the fact Paige was so determined to know what Azzi had said she would have missed the softly spoken words, but she didn’t and she was so glad she heard them.

Paige burst out laughing and Azzi followed along.

“You’re kidding me!” Paige wheezed between gasps.

But Azzi was too busy laughing so hard she could barely breathe, clutching onto Paige’s arm as her mouth opened wide in silent laughter.

That was how they fell asleep, tucked into one another as their heaving laughter gave way to shallow, sleeping breath.

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Feel free to send me asks or opinions and stuff in my inbox or DMs, responding to them is my favourite it's so much fun. As always, thanks for reading :)

[woso-dreamzzz]

Playing Favourites V

Leah Williamson x Child!Reeader

Summary: The Euros

The day before the final, you're in tears.

It's all Leah's fault and she sobs too.

They'd had some morning training before Sarina had sent them all off to spend time with their family before the match tomorrow. Leah had slipped out of the hotel as soon as she could, passing Alessia and her little sister on the way and then bumped into Mary taking her own little sister to a café.

It seems that everyone had the same idea to hang out with their little siblings because Leah had that idea too, collecting you from Mum and immediately taking you to the park.

You're still tiny and your little legs get very tired so Leah carries you most of the way until she can sit you on her lap on the swings.

You really like the swings, giggling every time Leah pumps her legs and goes a bit higher.

She doesn't see you too much but it's safe to say that you're still in that stage where you absolutely adore her. You're still at that point where everything Leah does is hysterically funny and cool and you want to do exactly what she's doing, no matter how small you actually are.

Which is probably why you don't tell her that she's pushing you too fast on the roundabout. It's going very quickly and it makes your head all dizzy.

Leah keeps pushing it faster and faster and faster though and your tight little grip on the bars loosens and you shoot off it like a rocket.

The roundabout is still spinning as Leah stares in horror at your little crumpled body. You sit up, bottom lip wobbling and promptly burst into tears.

She swears and leaps into action, brushing the dirt off your clothes before checking your head.

You've got a cut on your forehead. It's not bad or anything, it's barely bleeding but you whine and sob every time she touches it.

"I'm sorry, bean," She coos to you as you try to bat her hand away," Just a second. Just a little more. You're being so big and strong."

Leah's digging in the little backpack she packed for you and pulls out that most outrageously big plaster she can find before sticking it firmly to your head.

You sniffle. "Kiss better," You order.

"You want me to kiss it better?"

"Magic healing kisses," You say," Like Mummy's."

"Okay, bean," Leah says, pursing her lips," Are you ready? Here comes Leah's magic healing kisses." She presses multiple all over the plaster and then several more over your cheeks until you are no longer crying.

"Play more?" You ask, pointing over at the slide and Leah winces at the idea of you falling off it.

She shakes her head. "Let's go meet up with Mum. We're having lunch with her, remember?"

You huff but allow yourself to be led away by Leah before you're hefted up into her arms when another bolt of guilt jolts down her spine at the plaster on your head.

"Oh, what happened, little bean?" Your mummy asks when you both join her at the restaurant.

"Fell," You say with a little shrug, completely over it now as you draw all over your puzzle page," On spiny thing. Splat on the ground."

"I spun it too fast," Leah says sadly when your attention is fully on your drawing again," And she got flung off it. She was bleeding, Mum. It was terrible. She was crying."

"She's little," Her Mum says," She cries when she's a particularly cute puppy. It was probably shock, Leah. She's fine now and that's what matters."

"It was my fault. I'm such a bad sister."

"Leah, you're a good sister. You had today off and what did you do? You decided to take Bean to the park. You're a good sister. She adores you."

Leah isn't really convinced but she settles as you blindly reach out for another crayon.

"Bean, did you have fun at the park with Leah?"

You didn't look up at your mummy's question but you do nod your head. "Played on swings," You say as you scrawl the yellow on the Leah stick figure you've drawn," And fed ducks. Got ouchy but Leah did magic kisses so all better."

"That's nice," Your mummy says," Now, do you know what you want for lunch yet?"

You're on Leah's mind all throughout the match the next day, all the way until the final whistle and all throughout the medal ceremony.

"Look, bean!" Leah says as she pulls you over the barrier.

"Medal!"

"It is!" Leah laughs. She wraps an England flag around your shoulders, tying the corners together so it's like a cape. "Here, put it on."

She slips it over your head and you poke at it, the sudden weight around your neck feels a little weird but Leah is beaming so you smile too.

You don't leave her arms for the entirety of the pitch side celebrations, even when you completely crash out against her. Further up the pitch, Leah can spy Mary swinging her own little sister around while Alessia's little sister is kicking a ball around with her and Ella.

You're exhausted though, knocked out cold in Leah's arms with her medal still around your neck and the plaster from yesterday still stuck firmly across your forehead.

"Hey, man," Leah says as one of the photographers walks past," Do you mind?"

She beams at the camera, adjusting her grip on you so your sleeping face can be seen properly.

It takes a few hours for her to get sent the photo to her phone but it immediately becomes her Instagram profile picture and her lock screen.

It gets hung up in her locker too, so everyone can see you and her together.

[jellyfishsthings]

Nerves and Stolen Kisses

I have been toying with the idea of writing a fic about him for quite sometime and after last weekend I just had to. Estelle ( Ollie's rumoured gf is mentioned here but it is a fake relationship for PR reasons.) Also Paul Aron has a gf... friends to lovers trope.

Shoutout to @httpiastri for the inspiration

The Saudi Arabian Grand Prix was fast approaching. And Ollie was a jumble of nerves and excitement as usual. Since the early hour of the day, he opened the curtains letting the sun into the room and you groaned into the pillow.

“Wakey wakey, sleepyhead. Come on, we have a whole day ahead of us.”

“No, you do. I don't know why I came.”

“Because I am your bestest friend and I paid for your ticket and let you stay with me.”

“Both of which are for your benefit.”

“Come on….”

“Fine.” You say with a dejected sigh as you get up and you both get ready for the day. David, Ollie's dad was already waiting for you and you headed towards the paddock.

Everything was a frenzy and was passing by so quickly. As Ollie got into the garage and got ready for the quali you headed towards the stands trying to find Cassie, Paul's long-term girlfriend. Throughout the years you have formed a unique friendship. She was the only one who knew about your crush on Ollie and she teased you endlessly about it. Ollie and you had been best friends for the better part of your life, joint to the hip, having endless sleepovers, even if Dad didn't approve.

It was an endless nightmare being close enough to get a taste of all the what ifs, but never experiencing them.

“Do you and your lover boy share a room, huh?”

“It's not like that and you know it, Cassandra.”

“Yeah, it hurts, doesn't it?”

“So much. You have no idea. Yesterday I couldn't sleep and as the hours passed, he came closer and closer. He ended up holding me in his sleep. And I felt so bad because of Estelle. I know that they aren't really together and it's for PR, but still, I feel awful because technically I am the other woman… and she is just so nice and sweet. Never overstepping, I think she knows.”

We both stay quiet after that as the session continues.

“You know… whatever the case. You both love each other, platonically or not.”

“Yeah, I know.” I say as I watch the times set by all the drivers, Ollie having the fastest one yet.

“Looks like your man is on pole.”

We both make our way through the paddock, trying to pass the roaring sea of fans and we hand out already-signed autographs to anyone who asks for them. When we finally arrive, we part ways, before making promises about having dinner together at a restaurant Cassie wanted to try. And I head towards the Prema garage finding two beaming Bearmans, hugging.

“Hey Bear. Did you drive fast enough?” You call at him. And he grins like an idiot before swooping you into a tight hug spinning you. His laughter echoes in your ears as he sets you down.

“Yeah I drove fast enough, you minx.”

“Good. Now let's go. We are having dinner with Paul and Cassie in four hours and I want to see the city.”

“Give me five minutes to change and we are good to go.”

The afternoon is spent visiting local stores, trying to communicate in scrappy English and making terrible puns with products or street names. When they finally head to the restaurant their sides hurt from laughing. Dinner passed by as quickly as it came. As everyone says, time flies by when you are with the people you love.

Just as they open the door for their hotel room, Ollie flops in the bed as you head towards your computer and open it as hoards of emails and messages appear on the screen. Great more deadlines and essays to write until the end of the week.

“Leave it. We can pretend that we have nothing to do and watch a movie or local TV and try to understand what the hell is going on.”

“Thanks Bear. But I can't, as tempting as your offer is. Go to sleep, I will join you soon.”

And so you sit in front of your computer, ending essay after essay, sending them on time, until your eyes hurt from the pale blue light. The bed seems more welcoming than ever before as Ollie starfishes the entire length of it and his soft snores fill the empty space. Yeah, maybe it's time to call it a day.

An awful sound echoes in the room and eventually wakes you.

“I swear if it's one more ad I will jump from the window.” You grumble into your pillow as you steal the blankets and turn yourself into a burrito.

Ollie hisses as he opens his phone only to find a ton of messages and many missed calls from Ferrari. He dials Fred back as he moves towards the bathroom, trying to let you steal a few more minutes of much needed sleep.

When he emerges back in the room he sits down in front of you, his back supported on the bed.

“Ols, what's going on?”

“Carlos has an appendix”

“Oh no. Is he having surgery?”

“Yeah.” He says softly. “They want me to replace him.”

“What?” At that you are fully awake. Your hair is a netted nest and you look at him in shock. He looks at you, you his best friend who would look like a mess to anyone else but to him you look like the most beautiful and amazing creature in the world. Your mere presence has a more calming effect on him than anything else. If it weren't for you, he would have already lost his mind. “How? When? I…”

“We need to get to the paddock, if I don't want to miss FP3. I will wake up Dad and break the news to him.”

Soon after you enter the paddock and thousands of reporters try to get a better look at Ollie, flashing their cameras at you and bombarding you with questions as you make your way to the Ferrari garage and mechanics steal Ollie from you and David as they set to work quickly. David looks pale and sick as he paces into the garage trying to control his nerves through the FP3 and the Quali. When Ollie finally got off the car when he scored the 11th place, missing Q2 only by 3 hundreds of a second, you knew that this was it. He was finally shining like the bright star he was. He had done more than enough, his raw talent showing with barely one hour to get used to the car. And as mechanics and reporters closed around him. You couldn't help but feel like you didn't belong here. Where did you fit in? The reality hit you and it hit you hard. You hid in the back corners of the garage, eyes glued to the screen as everyone passed by without acknowledging you. You would happily hide in the shadows where he shined but this world wasn't meant for you. The anxiety was picking up at you, eating you alive from the inside.

And when Ollie got too close to the wall, your heart stopped beating. He was driving a car that was twice as fast and twice as dangerous than his normal F2 car. It was too much. The sound, the danger, everything really. Breathing suddenly seemed so hard and you needed a way out. As you hide behind the garage you call the one person who could understand. Terri picks up in the second ring her soft voice already calming you.

“Hey love. Is everything alright?”

“How do you do it? How can you stand back and do nothing?”

“You love him, don't you sweetheart?”

“I thought it was obvious.”

“Well … no I always hoped but… whatever the case, to answer your question you simply do it, you just have to. A driver needs his support system and you are it for him. You are his forever person, whether that is romantically or not. He needs to be near you and as much nervous as you are, so is he. Without you he would be lost, believe me I know my son. And I can bet you that as much as your heart breaks right now, you are also immensely proud.”

“Of course I am. But where do I fit in, in this world.”

“Right beside him, love.”

“Thanks Terri. Please call David. I think he is losing his mind and he is sick with worry.” You say chuckling before saying your goodbyes and head back towards the garage. The session is already over and Ollie is nowhere in sight.

Ollie plays with the power button of his phone trying to calm down but to no avail. The lock screen is a photo of the two of you. It was last summer both your skins flushed and hair slightly wet and tangled. You both smile at the camera and your eyes look bright with happiness. He feels slightly lighter but he knows that there is an impending panic attack and so he turns to the one person who could help him in this situation.

"I got your text," you say, tiptoeing inside and shutting the door behind you, careful to not make any loud sounds to scare him. "How are you doing?”

Ollie is sitting on a massaging table, elbows on top of his legs and head resting in his hands. His eyes are stuck on the floor, his silence is defeaning. When he still doesn't answer, your heart rate picks up. Is something really wrong?

You make your way over to him, hands finding his cheeks and softly tilting him up to look at you – and you swear you've never seen him look this wrecked before. Not after his worst crashes, not when he lost the rookie championship last year, not when he was cheated out from the Formula 3 championship. Once again, you've entered completely new territory, and your heart breaks at the sight.

"Ollie, talk to me," you plead, holding back the tears that starts to form on your eyes and threatento spill. It's so painful to look into his eyes, but you can't back down. Not now, not when he needs you this much.

"I'm-" his voice cracks but he shakes his head, clearing his throat. "I'm so nervous, I don't know what to do."

It's like he's oozing anxiety, and his heavy sigh is like a stab in your chest. Ollie, your usually so calm and collected best friend is probably going crazy over this – you know him well enough by now to understand that he's definitely freaking out even more on the inside than what he shows or tells. He is a messy jumble of nerves.

"I get that. One hundred per cent. But.." your thumbs begin to stroke over the skin of his cheeks, along his jaw, and then finally across his eyebrows, to which his eyes flutter closed. "This is your dream. It's been your dream since forever, and now you finally have the chance.”

"And it's not just any car, it's a Ferrari. Do you realize how cool that is? Do you realize how many people would kill for an opportunity like this?" You smile at the sight of him with his eyes still shut, eyelashes resting atop his cheeks, messy fringe covering his forehead. Even like this, at his most stressed state, he's completely gorgeous, not that you would ever tell him that. "You would've killed for an opportunity like this just 24 hours ago."

"But what if I ruin it?" His voice is barely above a whisper when he speaks, shoulders slumping forward. "What if I go out there and I'm shit, and then they realize what a big mistake they've made by even putting me in the academy? What if-"

"It won't happen." His eyelids slowly open and he looks up at you, seemingly not even the slightest upset that you cut him off. "You're too good to do that. You'll get in that car and it will feel like your second home, just like it always does."

Finally, a small smile makes its way onto his lips. It's only been a few minutes since you came in, but he seems much more relaxed now, leaning into your touch completely. "I'll try my best to make you proud."

“I'm always proud of you, you mufflehead.”

A laugh bubbles from his chest and he stands up from the table, opening his arms wide and pulling you in for a tight hug. His heart is still beating louder than a drum in his chest when your ear is pressed up against it, and you're almost worried it will jump out any second now. But his breaths are much more controlled now, and his mind seems much lighter. And soon enough his heartbeat slows to normal.

“I bet that in twenty four hours not only will you finish the race, you will score points and beat Max Verstappen.”

“Let's not get ahead of ourselves” he says chuckling. “God, my neck is killing me.”

“Sit down. I've got you.” And so you start massaging his neck. It's stiff and hard under your hands and he lets a small groan as you untangle one of the knots that were quite painful. After a few minutes he is putty in your hands, his eyes closed, trusting you completely and feeling at ease for the first time in the past two days.

True to your world, Ollie crosses the finish line in seventh place, having gained points in his debut. But the one thing that kept him calm through the process was the thought that she was waiting for him in the cool down room. When the race finishes and drives the car back home he jumps from his seat and he can't get fast enough to her. People around him are praising him and congratulating him but they all fall to deaf eyes.

When he finally gets into the room to change into new fireproofs, she is patiently waiting for him. Her eyes are a little misty and her face flushed.

“I told you.”

“I didn't beat Max.”

“Still.”

She closes in on him and her hands are thrown around his neck, he reciprocates the hug immediately as his heart beat finally slows down. They doth draw away after a while only for him to dive back into her and kiss her firmly on the lips. Shock petrifies her and when he stops, he places his forehead on top of hers. He is a flustered mess and he is mumbling apologies, before she reconnects their lips.

For the following hours Ollie sports a shit-eating grin on his face. Everyone thinks that it is because of his amazing performance and not for kissing the girl that held his heart captive since they were five years old.

[demodraws0606]

Jax's fear of being trapped and what that might imply about his past/future

Hello 2 days ago i've developped a chronic case of Brainrotting about Jax, tragic I know.

I'm kinda basing this slightly of what Gooseworx have said in QnAs though I will not rely on it because I think purely relying on a creator's words and not the media isn't really satisfying.

The main thing that stood out to me in this episode with Jax was that he seems to fear punishement.

He seems really freaked out when Gangle proposed the idea of Cain punishing him...

And then he immediatly goes to Zooble to be like "lol you don't believe Cain actually could punish us right ?" and while he's proven right at the end of the episode, the fact that he immediatly tries to seek reassurance that he wouldn't get punished says a lot. In fact in his expressions he looks both sides while saying it almost like he seems...unsure/anxious (idk the right word).

Also when he's brought into the employee training scene. He's weirdly...afraid and shaken by it ?? (not showing the screenshot cos everyone remembers that scene).

Which like, I understand that was terrifying but it was a strangely strong reaction to something that...light ? I mean he wasn't brainwashed or anything. I might be stretching it but all of it, including the scene's purpose makes me wonder if it brought Jax bad memories of...something.

After that scene happens, he completely acts normal and stops trying to be a dick completely.

Now this isn't a convo about weither that's Jax's true self and his jerk self is a persona. People are trying way too hard to either try to make him a one dimensional asshole or secretly a good guy which like he's neither he's a bastard with layers. But that's not what this is about so ANYWAYS.

All of this made me wonder what was Jax's main Thing, more so his theme or the thing that makes him tick.

We know with Gangle it's her issue with masking (her dreams, how she feels, etc...), Ragatha being a people pleaser, Zooble's body dysmorphia, King's memories and how they link with the loss of his wife and Pomni's desire for companionship.

For Jax we actually don't really know other than...he's a dick and he's using it to cope which like....duh ?

But with this episode and also a little thing that I got from researching QnAs (because i'm normal and chill like that) made me realise what could Jax's Thing.

A Fear of Consequences and being Trapped

Now the main thing that drove this thought was me finding out Gooseworx assigning a song to Jax which is this one.

Don't fence me in, huh....

That line meaning a desire to not be restricted and not losing their freedom.

This makes me think this is probably what Jax's character is at least partially about, or more so...his biggest fear. Being restricted, reprimended or trapped.

I think in part that fear could be related to his past, which I'm gonna throw my cards here, my own personal theory is that he was stuck in juvenile detention for misbehaving as a kid. That experience traumatising him enough that he was probably similar to the Jax we've seen at the end of episode 4, just Tired.

Now does it Necessarely have to be a juvenile detention center, honestly no ? But it's the thing that makes the most sense in my head.

Either way this also explains a lot of things about his behavior in the circus.

He's now secluded in a space with absolutely 0 Consequences, the one person who can dish it out is an AI who is probably programmed to never harm humans (directly at least). He's even proven right at the end of episode 4.

I think what led to Jax's shit behavior was this realisation that this is pretty much now his Safe Heaven. In real life he can't just be who he wants to be, there's potential consequences that he's afraid of.

Now I know I'm gonna hear like "oh so you just think Jax is an asshole by nature", I don't think he is (i don't think he's ever been a nice person his life but like there's a difference here), I genuinely think he's not more so being himself rather that it's just that he's overcompensating for the lack of freedom that he's felt his entire life.

In a way it's similar to how people act on the internet.

Imagine that you were a misbehaving kid and you were reprimended HARSHLY for it, to the point where you're not really fixed per say but you're stuck being terrified of even being slightly flawed.

But now here he is, in a place where death doesn't matter, the harm he does doesn't matter and the one person who can actually hurt him just gives him weird shenanigans that give him opportunities to lash out.

However, there's a tiny little problem...

This fantasy cannot last forever forever and I'm not talking about them getting out because as far as they know it's out of the cards for them.

It's very much clear that the circus with the arrival of Pomni is becoming more tight knit and less divided, creating a more solid friendship group with the help of Pomni being an actual normal nice human person (Zooble is nice too but they're more jaded and too depressed to deal with most of everything, and Ragatha is a whole baggage).

It's becoming increasingly clear in the episodes themselves as well that, Jax can't just be an asshole anymore. Every episode since episode 1 has led to him being reprimended or him not being given what he wants. The group is becoming closer and they're sick of his bullshit.

He also probably doesn't like being alone and hated. We see him seeming sad at the talk of Kofmo's funeral before having to go back to being angry and dismissive in his facial expression.

Maybe he really did want to go to Kofmo's funeral but like would anyone actually believe he would be genuine, after being an asshole for so long would it really be worth for Jax to just break it all right there.

But it's clear he's also not really enjoying being alone.

Jax in a way is basically burrying a hole for himself. Being an asshole was his perfect dream after probably living a life of boredom and repression but now that this consequenceless existence has finally revealed itself to just be a mirage, he's now unable to access the things he really needs.

Actual friendship.

It's clear that the Digital Circus has a point of companionship being extremely important, in fact when we get mentions of Kofmo's abstracting we get also mentions about how no one really founds his jokes funny. Kinger mentioning how making someone feel alone and unwanted is the worst thing you could do to someone. Gangle is saved by Pomni and Zooble's presence.

However there's no one at fault for Jax's isolation, he only has himself to blame.

Ive got more but i'm tired so hope you guys enjoyed it.

[voidsuites]

ARTRICK BOT RELEASE !!! (11/13/24) ⌢⠀ 🎾 .ᐟ

art donaldson ・゜゜・．coach's orders. you’re art’s newest player— an up-and-coming name in the tennis world— but you’re stubborn and prone to working yourself to the bone in the name of the game. tashi would’ve loved you if she’d gotten her hands on you first, but you’re here with him, on his private backyard court, listening to his advice about your game and ultimately, your career. and damnit, art’s not going to take that for granted (even if it means pushing the delicate boundaries between an athlete and their coach). you’ve got to learn how to relax, and art’s not opposed to bending you over the net if that’ll fix things.

art donaldson ・゜゜・．lesson planning. it’s your first year having a hands-on role in building out and finalizing the curriculum for the middle school english department, but your focus has been equally split between what books your kids are going to read and the head of the english department himself, mr. donaldson. you’d been wary to accept such a high responsibility in the first place, but he’d insisted that you help him review the materials during prep week, and you'd never say no to art… even if it means awkwardly dancing around the fact that you’re both clearly into one another— oh, and that he’s finally taken off his wedding ring.

art and patrick ・゜゜・．night of the living frat! it really should be sacrilegious that sigma chi’s hosting a costume party just a week after halloween, but none of the brothers had been able to resist yet another party before finals overtook the rest of the semester. besides— who passes up a chance to dress up and drink? the music’s loud, the drinks are a-flowin’, and you’d never be able to tell that tonight isn’t halloween. no one’s the wiser… which only makes it harder for art and patrick to keep their hands to themselves and their heads out of the gutter when you eventually materialize. hopefully they can convince you to stay the night… if they can remember how to share first.

patrick zweig ・゜゜・．mr. z. everyone loves mr. zweig— or “mr. z” as the students like to call him— and as the newest teacher amongst the faculty ranks, he’s quick to make nice and befriend everyone, including you. normally, you’d normally be skeptical of a washed-up pro tennis player coming to fill in the vacant gym teacher position, but you instead find yourself spending more time with patrick and enjoying yourself. it’s only a matter of time before you realize that lines are blurring and that whatever is going on between you both is way more than a friendship between fellow teachers coworkers.

patrick zweig ・゜゜・．shopping spree. frequent trips to the high-end side of the city had never been your sort of thing thing, but now that you’re dating patrick they’ve become a weekly occurrence. you never leave empty-handed, and it’s always on his dime (at his insistence, of course, it’s all chump change to him anyway). who cares about the staring you two get when he totes you and your purchases of the day around the city?— he’s the one that gets to go about his business with you on his arm. everyone else is just lucky he just can’t help showing you off while he does.

got a request? go ahead and leave em here :) THANK YOU GUYS SO SO MUCH FOR FOR 5.2K AND 2 MIL+ CHATS! this is actually insanity i don't even know what to say or how to feel but thank you thank you 😭😭😭😭😭😭 challengers brainrot has struck again (big surprise) these are all mostly aus— the art and pat teacher bots (lesson planning + mr. z) are based off of headcanons by dearest mars (the lovely @saintzweig) and the shopping spree pat bot is based off of the moodboard by my true love @diyasgarden !!! please please please please please give my lovely moots a follow bc without them (and everyone else) i would not have any ideas and you all would just be subjected to the whistling wind that blows in my head when nothing is going on in there (which happens often!) love love LOVE you guys for real i am so grateful for all of the support and giggles that we all have <33333333333

[ashwhowrites]

Ahhhh I've been so excited since you mentioned Buffy universe, so obviously I NEED to make a request (i have too much ideas, but I'll try to calm down 😅)

I was thinking about human reader x Spike (my love ❤️). Spike is so madly in love with her that scooby gang has fun watching it, but it is kind of adorable even for them.

One day Spike heard about Angel's visit in town and since then he tries to keep reader far from scooby gang and Angel.

He's telling himself he's not scared of losing reader to Angel because their relationship is strong and mature (not like his previous one) but he's insecure that reader could choose broody handsome brunette because of this all good things he's done

And with happy end pretty please

(I'm so happy, somebody wants to write about buffyverse 🎉🎉🎉)

Thank you for your time 💜💜💜

I'm so in love with Spike so I get it!

I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. It feels very weird to write about a different character so I hope it feels like Spike. Thank you for requesting 🫶🏻

Ugh, not Angel

"So does this mean Spike gets to help?" Y/N asked with glee. She knew many of her friends didn't enjoy it when her boyfriend was around but at times she didn't care.

"I say we can do it without the blood-sucking vampire," Xander said as he rolled his eyes. Y/N shot him a glare.

"Be nice, Xander," Willow reminded him.

"Even though I hate to say it, we need Spike's help," Buffy said with disappointment.

~

"The man of the hour has arrived!" Spike said as he walked into Buffy's house. Y/N walked in behind him and closed the door. Together they walked to Buffy's couch and took a seat.

Giles and Buffy explained the plan but Spike was far from listening. His girl was tucked under his arm; all he could focus on was her face. He watched as she listened intently, nodding to what she agreed.

"Spike!" Buffy snapped, clapping her hands. The vampire was quick to look over at her with a snarl. "Pay attention!"

"Oh Buffy, don't be jealous," Spike teased giving her a small amount of attention before he went back to Y/N.

"Listen," Y/N warned, nodding her head toward Buffy. He listened to her, as he always did.

"Weren't you like a terrifying vampire before you got pussy whipped?" Xander joked. Buffy smirked at the comment but made sure not to laugh.

"I can still tear your throat out," Spike growled, biting the air. "I'm not pussy whipped. I just happen to worship the ground my darling walks on."

Y/N tried not to blush at Spike's words. His accent always made her heart race.

"Yeah, Xander! Would it kill you to worship me like that?" Anya complained. Xander groaned as he knew a new fight would happen by the time he went home.

"Quiet!" Giles said, gaining everyone's attention.

~~~

Spike was watching TV in his crypt when he heard someone enter. He turned his head and groaned to himself as Buffy walked in.

"Oh great the slayer," he said, clicking off the TV.

"It looks different here," Buffy realized, looking around. There were candles near the bed, which were covered in fuzzy pillows. There were twinkle lights hung up, for once giving the dark crypt some light.

"What do you need?" Spike asked, ignoring her comments.

"Y/N has a nice touch," Buffy smirked. Spike shifted uncomfortably in his chair, but a sense of pride in his cold chest knowing she was displayed in his home.

"Get to the damn point, slayer."

"Angel's back," Buffy sighed.

Spike quickly flew out of his chair, an unsettling feeling in his stomach.

"Why?" Spike growled. Spike and Angel didn't get along too well. Both vampires but Angel was the better one in people's opinion. Spike didn't tend to care about the comparison but Y/N had never met Angel before and he wanted to keep it that way. "Actually I don't even care." He sassed. Buffy watched confused as he ran out.

~

Y/N was painting her toes when Spike let himself into her bedroom. She looked up with a smile as she smelled him.

"Hello, handsome,"

Spike smiled as she went back to focusing on her toes, moving to sit on the hard floor. He didn't say anything as he grabbed the polish from her hands and began to paint her toes.

She smiled as she let him take over. She adored moments like this with him. When he was doing human things with her. She reached down and ran her fingers through his blonde hair, messing up the perfection it always was. He'd bite off anyone's hand if they touched him like that but it was her so he didn't mind.

"I'm glad you stopped by. The gang is having a movie night, would you like to come?"

Spike took his time painting her toes. The truth was, he didn't want her to go. He was worried Angel would show up with his stupid dark hair, charming personality, and a face that apparently many girls liked.

"Spike?" She said as he sat in silence.

"Could we maybe have the night alone together?" He looked up at her and she was taken back from the insecurity in his eyes.

"Sure, baby. Let me give them a call," she said as she ruffled his hair.

~~~

Spike did his best to keep her away from Angel and tried to keep it secretive. Spike wasn't sure how long Angel would be around but it had been a week too long. Y/N loved Spike so spending all the time with him wasn't a bad thing, but she was worried.

Spike was always confident and loved being seen by others. Even though Y/N hated it, he enjoyed the looks he got from women. He didn't get along with many of her friends but he never was this distant with them. Y/N worried something was going on and she was left in the dark about it.

The couple sat in silence as they watched Passions, even after a year of being with Spike she didn't see the appeal in the show. It had been a week since she left Spike's side. Anytime she made a comment to leave he went into a panic and begged her to stay. Adding to the worry she was feeling.

"Spike," Y/N said, nudging her boyfriend in the arm. His eyes dashed over to her. "Is there something going on between you and my friends? And I know you love me, but there's a reason why you don't want me to leave your side and I want to know."

"Darling, I have to confess something," Spike sighed.

"If you cheated on me I will have Buffy here to kill your ass in a second," Y/N warned. Her eyes squinting into a glare that sent a shiver down Spike's spine.

"Never!" he exclaimed. "Do you remember the stories of Buffy's ex Angel?"

"A little," Y/N said shrugging.

"He's a vampire and pretty much everyone fell in love with him when he was around. Buffy, Willow, and well Xander hated him like he does me, but they saw something good in him. It didn't matter how well-behaved I was, they always picked him for help. Whenever he is around, I'm not needed. I was worried his charm would work on you."

Y/N was in awe of Spike feeling a variety of emotions. She didn't think he felt much other than love and lust.

"You were worried I'd fall for him?" Y/N asked, reaching out to cup Spike's face.

Spike tried to show no emotion, "Not quite what I said. I mean look at me, I am way more of a catch." Y/N laughed at his words, allowing him to feel what he needed.

"Well, if you were saying that I'd make sure to say that I love you. I don't think there is anyone dead or alive that would make me feel the way you do. No one will take me from you." She leaned in and pressed her forehead against his.

He closed his eyes and nudged his nose against hers. Her words sank in and took the weight off his body. He opened his eyes and smiled as she stared at him. He leaned in and pressed a kiss against his lips.

~

With a lot of convincing sex, Y/N got Spike out of his cave. Her hand was in his as they walked into Buffy's house. The gang all said hello and Y/N noticed the new face.

She turned her head as she checked him out, Spike standing taller as he squeezed her hand. She shook her head and turned to Spike, moving to whisper in his ear. "Not even close."

Spike smirked at her words, his confidence taking over. "Well, Angel. I wish I would say nice to see you but it's not."

Angel scoffed but walked over, his eyes landing on the girl next to him. "She's new," Angel smiled. "Prettier than the last one."

Spike stiffened at Angel's words and the mention of Drusilla. The images of her and Angel together in his head were the exact reason he feared for Y/N to see him.

"I'm Y/N, Spike's girlfriend."

Spike smiled at her. Maybe he didn't need to worry about this one.