#Boss Ass Bitch Queenie

[manorpunk]

Visiting Duke Rider - Part 3 Intermission

The opening bars of Toccata and Fugue in D Minor make you jump. Your eyes reflexively dart around the room and land on Duke Rider’s setup: a set of four detachable tabule screens, all reading “Incoming call: Sunny.”

Duke Rider sighs. “Sorry, I have to take this call. Would you be a dear and wait outside? It should only take a few minutes.” He flicks his wrist in the direction of the door.

You nod, catching your breath, and scoot out to the reception room.

Duke Rider forces a neutral expression on his face as he pulls a tabule out in front of him and presses the call button.

“Bitch don’t touch my lakes. I told you if you mess with the Great Lakes I’ll fucking kill you,” says Sunny as soon as her avatar appears onscreen.

“I genuinely don’t know what you are talking about,” Rider says back.

“The fishing licenses!” Sunny snaps.

Rider shakes his head. “The fishing licenses? Really? I’m being totally honest here, I didn’t mention them to you because I didn’t think you’d want me pestering you about - fishing licenses?”

Sunny glares at him, an adorable cheek-puffing pout backed with the full force of the state.

“Fine, good lord. You discovered my fishing license power play,” Rider’s stage persona falters, he becomes a queeny old bitch, “I’ll drop the program, if it’s such an overreach.”

Sunny smiles. “No need. I told them to add an amendment saying that, as per the Great Lakes Act, they would need my approval. They did, and I approved it.”

Rider blinks. “So you approved the - what are you even calling me for, then?”

Sunny leans closer until her smiling face takes up the entire tabule screen.

“Look at me. Are you looking at me? Look me in the eyes. You do not piss in the Great Lakes without express approval from President Sunny Goddamn Roosevelt. Or I’ll kill you. I will order your boy toys to strangle you to death in public. Old-school shit, you’d love it. You’ll cum and poop and die. We’ll sell tickets.”

Rider regains his composure and no-sells her as best as he can. “Duly noted. Anything else?”

“Nah, that’s pretty much it. Kay thanks bye.” Sunny ends the call.

Out in the reception room, you are making small talk with Liam, a femboy maid with scruffy hair and permanently sleepy eyes. You have found a polite way to ask the obvious question: so what’s it like being a celebrity sexpet? Is it exciting? Is it degrading? Does it involve on-the-job bimbofication training?

He tilts his head back and mulls the question over for a moment.

“I get to fuck my boss in the ass. Not a lot of people can say that,” he says.

It’s a very persuasive argument. Before you can inquire any further, Duke Rider calls you back in.

[rhabakoli]

A lil something

@dreamwritesimagines There you go. Also, I hope your anon likes it, I’ve been better, I swear.  @marauderskeeper just adding you here, in case you wanted to see, you know. 

When you stood in front of Ivars bedchamber, you were ready to turn around and run for the hills. Yes, you were nervous. He’d said your skills in bed were unremarkable. In your defense, you were a virgin, until that first night with him. But you did need to bring an heir into this world, so he’d have to deal. You straightened your back, held your head high and took another deep breath. When you felt ready, you pushed the door open. Ivar was already in bed, reading some papers. When he heard the heavy wood move, he put them down and opened his mouth to cuss at whoever dared to come in. But then he recognized your figure. His face fell, he looked panicky for a second, before he reeled himself in and sat up straighter. “What do you want?”  You needed a moment to gather your wits. It had been a while since you saw his naked torso. And, by the Gods. He really was built like one.  You then remembered yourself and moved your eyes up to his face. Despite the chilled attitude you’ve presented last time you saw him, you didn’t trust yourself to talk.  Instead, you dropped your furs and went over to his side. You could feel his eyes on your figure, wandering up and down your body. The shivers going through you weren’t just caused by the chill room. You remembered last time very well. As did your body, apparently.  The papers on his lap were taken care of quickly. “Y/N-” Ivar swallowed thickly, his hands gripping the furs on his bed tightly, knuckles going white.. “What are you doing?” He didn’t really have to ask. He knew very well, and his body was just as much a traitor as yours was. His eyes roamed over your naked body, tracked your every move as you slipped off the nightgown and set a knee on the bed.  Ivar wasn’t resisting, or asking again. He just watched you with his piercing blue eyes, until you thought you’d melt. It was not fair. How could he still have such an effect on you? But, alas, you weren’t the only one feeling affected. You smirked, when you lifted the blankets. He was hard already. Maybe he was a liar after all.  You crawled over him, straddling his thighs and sat back for a moment.  You needed this. You wanted to see the look of adoration on his face, and if it was just for one last time. And, Gods, if he wasn’t absolutely delivering. He looked unsure, but at the same time there was such a look of wonder and reverence on his face, you had trouble breathing.  “Y/N.” He breathed your name. It sounded so precious and treasured when he said it. No trace of betrayal and anger. His hands came up to settle on your thighs. Quickly, you took his wrists and put them back on the bed.  “No.”  It was quiet, but you knew he heard it. You knew just by looking at his face. Blue eyes darkened, pupils blown, lips parted in an attempt to regain breath and control over his body. He nodded.  Slowly, oh so slowly you stood up on your knees and went closer. With one hand you grabbed the headboard next to his head, with the other you guided him inside you.  A sharp intake of breath and a stifled moan filled the air between you, but you honestly couldn’t say if it was your own or his. You were in no hurry, so you took your time taking him in. He was big, just as everything else about him.  You didn’t realize you had closed your eyes, until his whole length was in you. It had taken a while, but you managed. 

At a dull knock you looked down. Ivars knuckles were white, his hands fisted in the furs, biceps bulging. His head was leaned back against the beds wood, he was biting his lip, and his eyes were still on you. He looked like he was about to devour you, conquer you and probably get a couple orgasms out of you in the process. You had to suppress a moan at that. You couldn’t let him take over, you just couldn’t. So, you started moving. Instantly, Ivars lips opened and he let out a shuddering moan. You hid a smile and leaned you head back, so all he could see was vast expanse of soft skin, he wasn’t allowed to touch. You could feel him react to your antics, and you grew bolder. To know you made him feel like that, made him look like he did, aroused and almost desperate, made you proud. Which was not the best move, in light of recent events, but you couldn’t help it. You moved your hips up and down, in circles, and dipped them in search for that one spot, that made you see stars last time. The room was filled with moans, harsh, heavy breathing and the sound of sex. “Gods, you-”  A particular harsh hip dip made him gasp and stop. His hands came up, up to your hip. His fingers were digging into your skin and he cursed. At you, at the world, the Gods, at himself, you’d never know.  You stopped, snatched his hands from your body and pressed them down into the bed again. “I said no.”  He jumped inside you, you could feel it, and it felt amazing, He looked at you like a mad man nostrils flaring, jaw tensing. He released a breath through the nose,trying to calm himself. His fists opened, and he turned his wrists in your grip, presenting his hands to you. In a moment of weakness, you let him slip his fingers between yours.  Until now, he had been fighting to stay passive and let you find your rhythm. But not anymore. When you started moving, he did too. His stomach clenched and released with every thrust, a couple of times even hard enough to make you fall forward.  “Y/N, I swear to Odin, to Thor, I swear to whoever you seem fitting, I will never hurt you, again.”  His hold on your hands grew stronger. “I will- ah--”  You had freed one hand from his and buried it in his hair. Pulling his head back, you planted a fierce, hard kiss on his lips, over way too soon, but enough to make him feel lightheaded. “Stop. Talking.”  His eyes grew darker, his pupils blown enough to make them seem black. “You are a goddess.”  You moved your hips faster, leaned back a bit, hand still in his hair and let out a deep moan, when he hit the spot you’ve been looking for. A shiver went through your body and you were chasing it like an addict. Faster and faster, moaning louder, more frequent, you didn’t care anymore if anyone heard. You wanted this feeling to last longer. Sweaty thighs sliding against each other, white knuckles and Ivar praising you. The air was saturated with your combined smells, with the sound of slick skin, the bed creaking. And suddenly, there it was. Hot, sharp needles starting in your toes and fingertips, that’s when you knew it would be over very soon. A smile sneaked onto your lips, it felt wonderful. And when it hit, it hit hard. You fell forward like a lifeless doll, head on Ivars shoulder as he chased his orgasm himself, shivers wracking through your body and you had no mind to control it. When was the last time you where this relaxed?  Satisfied, you turned your head and buried your nose in the skin there, still lazily circling your hips. Somewhere in the back of your hazy mind, you recognized the feeling of warmth filling you.  Ivar let your hand go, grabbed your hair, mirroring your move from before and angled you head up, so he’d be able to kiss you. “You.”  He kissed you again, softer, loving. “You are everything.”  His voice brought you back into reality. With a sigh, you sat up. His hand were back on your cheeks in an instant, caressing your skin, handling you like you were made of glass.  But if you’d been made of glass, his care came too late.  You got off him, off the bed and picked up your nightgown. It hurt you, how couldn’t it? But it had to be.  “Y/N? What are you doing?”  “Going back to my room.” You picked up the fur and heard Ivar scrambling over the furs and to the edge of the bed to get to you. His hand landed on your elbow.  “What do you mean, we just- we just-”  God, he couldn’t even say it.  “I was merely fulfilling my duty as Queen of Kattegat, your Grace.” Those words made him freeze. His hand fell limbly from your arm, eyes big and round, unbelieving. You wisely used this moment to escape his bedchamber.

You were almost back in your own room, when a furious roar, not unlike that of a hurt animal, filled the air. Your feet moved faster, as you felt the tears come. No one should see you like this, least of all Ivars brothers, who surely were up and on their way already. You needed the security of your own bed, one that didn’t smell like Ivar, to cry in peace. Before you slipped in, you stopped. You smelled like him. For a short moment you thought about getting a servant to prepare a bath for you, but then you decided against it. Just one more night. You’d take a bath in the morning and Gala would change the sheets. You’d handle it tomorrow, but tonight you wanted burrow in his scent and dream of happier times.

Little did you know that Ivar had the same plan.

[shesinmy]

I got another fem!Sukuna reader x Gojo!

Let’s assume Queenie is able to command curses and most curses always bow to her (yk because she’s the Queen and a boss ass bitch💅🏾). After marrying Gojo, she’s like “okay, you’re basically the king of curses now, so my subjects are now yours to command.”

What’s Gojo’s reaction to this? How would he go about actually being looked up as a king by curses and able to command them? Would he be a king to his queen👀?

Sorry, if this sounds random. I’m just thinking out the top of my head😅.

GOJO SATORU BECOMING THE KING OF CURSES AFTER MARRYING QUEEN FEM!SUKUNA

Warning: suggestive

When you told him he would become the king of curses and control them as you do, his eyes became even more shinning.

You didn't even know that was possible.

First of all, this turned him on and ended up with you two having fun with your rulers kink.

Next, oh, next Gojo here went all in.

He bought a crown, a scepter and even a throne for him.

He now wants to sit right beside you.

But you knew better.

He could sit beside you but below you.

"WHAT???! But wasn't I the king to your quennie?"

"Tch... I'm THE QUEEN and you are MY KING".

"Meanie Quennie Sukuna".

Now, he loved to control the curses.

He just used them to scare a few people around.

Specially Nanami, who then decided to ban Gojo of his life for good.

Until one day he came to challenge you.

"I bet the curses obey me first."

You looked down on him and gave your disgusted laugh.

"Wanna see you try, idiot".

Needless to say he lost.

And you laughed from pleasure.

"Sit on your below throne MY KING".

"Yes, Quennie!"

Pouty baby here amusing you.

And you showing him his place.

OOOOOOOHH MYYY! I just have too much fun doing this couple ahhahahahahhahha they're perfect! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE REQUEST

[sunjaesol]

💕 🎧

💕 - what’s your favourite thing about the show or anything that’s happened because of it?

show-wise, i love how the focal point is always friendship. even if they focus on a  ship, it’s usually related to something else like the band or her family or flynn. i feel like there aren’t many friendship-based, well-produced shows and this is simply a gem. you can really tell it’s a passion project, all made in a healthy, collaborative environment and that’s so amazing to see. 

fandom-wise, i met some really cool people because of it. i love how big and small the fandom is at the same time. my discord got revived because of the triad chat with @bluefirewrites and @blush-and-books - they’re insane and i love them for it. 

my writing has improved tremendously, propelled by amazing characters to work with. 

🎧 - what song always makes you think of a certain character/ship and why?

okay, so i have a few lmao

julie and luke: “till forever falls apart” by ashe ft. finneas is the ultimate juke song.

[Verse 2: FINNEAS] So this is it, that's how it ends I guess there's nothing more romantic than dyin' with your friends And I'm not sorry for myself I wouldn't want to spend a minute lovin' anybody else [Pre-Chorus: Ashe & FINNEAS] 'Cause you've got me and you know That I've got you and I know [Chorus: Ashe & FINNEAS] If the tide takes California I'm so glad I got to hold ya And if the sky falls from Heaven above Oh, I know I had the best time fallin' into love We've been livin' on a fault line And for a while, you were all mine I've spent a lifetime givin' you my heart I swear that I'll be yours forever, 'til forever falls apart 'Til forever falls apart [Bridge: Ashe & FINNEAS] We never had it from the start 'Til death do us part

I MEAN?? THEY WROTE IT FOR THEM AND NO ONE CAN CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE

for all the girls: “wingman” by boys world - it’s just this girl power anthem about needing no wingman, about needing no man to pay the bills and just being a boss ass bitch. all the girls in the show are so amazing and strong (in their own ways)

[Pre-Chorus: Makhyli & Olivia] Not a brand new thing that a queendom doesn't need a king I like it how I like it and I like it how I do (Oh) Seems like everybody’s feeling like they gotta have a somebody (Oh) But my equation's me plus me instead of me plus you

[Chorus: All & Queenie] I don't need a wingman (Mmm, mmm) 'Cause I'm too fly on my own I don't need a thing, man (Mmm, mmm, not a thing, man) No, I-I-I Ain't thinking 'bout a ring, man (Mmm, mmm) Don’t wanna be weighed down by that stone I don’t need a wingman (Mmm, mmm) No, I-I-I don't

for willex: “impossible” by nothing but thieves - they had this very immediate and intense connection and goes along with this song. it’s a love song, but it’s not dramatic like the juke song. it’s hopeful and kind of like an escape from the rest of reality. i feel like willex had that, that sense of escapism. 

[Verse 1] Took a breath, let it go Felt the moment settle so I couldn't wait to tell you why I'm standin' here with this awkward smile And that's because

[Chorus] I could drown myself in someone like you I could dive so deep I never come out I thought it was impossible But you make it possible

[Verse 2] Love, it stings and then it laughs At every beat of my battered heart The sudden jolt, a tender kiss I know I'm gonna die of this And that's because

[Chorus]

[Pre-Chorus] I'll take the smooth with the rough Feels so fucked up to be in love Another day, another night Stuck in my own head but you pull me out You pull me out

reggie is “old town road” by lil nas x - OBVIOUSLY

caleb is “sympathy for the devil” by the rolling stones - ........ do i need to explain? A SONG IN THE POV OF SATAN

[sunlightraeee]

Me, @motherfucking-witch-loves-mha , and @plusonetm and guest staring @todorokitops

Part 1 | part 2

~~~~

Plus: I am the smartest, most skilled member in this group

Witch: Is your hand stuck in that vending machine?

Plus: I paid for my cheetos. I’m getting my cheetos

~~~~

Queenie: what if “It’s Raining Men” and “Let the bodies hit the floor” are both about the same event but from different perspectives?

Plus: im literally begging you to stop

~~~~

Witch: Can we go out to ice cream?

Queenie: Did you ask Plus?

Witch: she said no

Queenie: Then why did you ask me?

Witch: she’s not the boss of you

Queenie, internally: it’s a trap it’s a trap it’s a trap

~~~~

Ttops: Well, you made a lot of people around this fandom very nervous

Queenie: Yeah? That’s because they’re a bunch of bitch-ass white dudes

Ttops: I hate to break this to you, but you’re also a bitch-ass white dude

~~~~

Witch: Here is sticker

Plus: what??

Witch: Not just any sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying “Me-Wow”

Plus: I’m not a preschooler

Witch: *shrugs* Fine, I’ll take it back

Plus: I earned this. Back off

[aethelar]

I'm sitting in a lecture and dying of boredom so i had this idea: what about Graves finding a puppy or some other animal and keeping it a secret from Newt to teach the cute animal some tricks to show Newt something special in the end. Maybe Newt finds out early and acts he doesn't know or he can't help and adore his boyfriend trying his best but Graves has a hard time because that damn cute thing won't listen.

Technically, Graves is called in because a crup is a magical creature, and while the laws are better now than they used to be, breeding beasts is still illegal.

Technically, Graves is required to alert the owner to this fact, check that they have the necessary permits for possession of the parent crups, and deliver a formal requirement for both bitch and dog to be neutered to prevent further litters.

Technically, Graves should walk away having assured himself that the puppies will be rehomed as pets and are not being sold for profit, traded for potions parts, or otherwise misused in a way that contravenes the articles of safe handling and creature protection.

Yeah, well.

Graves never liked technicalities.

"Do I what?" Tina asks again.

"A crup. Puppy. Do you want."

She blinks. "I mean, sure," she says. "I guess everyone wants one at some point in their life."

"Great." He holds his coat open to show the small furry occupants of his inner pockets. "What colour? You can have one of each if you like." The puppies stick their heads out; one is all white, two have the classic white fur and brown patches, one has a darker shade of brown-black in her patches, and the last little head almost entirely brown with an uneven white moustache over his nose.

Tina stares. Graves looks back at his pockets. One of the puppies is attempting to climb out, and there's a suspicious dark stain in the bottom corner of another pocket. "Please have one of each," he says.

Tina opens her mouth to ask if Graves is definitely Graves and not Newt in polyjuice, then thinks better of it.

"Why do you have crups in your coat?" she asks instead.

"And why are you fencing them like a shady pawn-shop thief," Delgado adds, butting into the conversation. Graves and Tina look at him blankly, so he mimes holding his own coat open. "Y'know. Wanna buy a watch? No? My humour's wasted on you guys. But for real boss, where'd the babies come from?"

Puppy two finally escapes the confines of her cloth prison. Graves catches her in a wandless levitation charm because his hands are full keeping puppies one and four from following her. She turns a somersault midair and starts trying to doggy paddle.

"Illegal breeder raid," Graves says. And, because technically that wouldn't result in him coming back with passengers, he elaborates: "They were farming them for the tails. I objected."

"By stealing five puppies?"

"Rehoming," he corrects. "I'm rehoming five puppies. Tina's taking two. Delgado, you have this one." He floats the still-swimming escape artist over to him, and she seems ecstatic to finally be moving forward. Delgado, suddenly with an armful of wriggle and tongue, is clearly also ecstatic, he's just a bit too blindsided to show it.

"Tina's what? When did I agree to that?"

Graves shifts his grip on puppies one and four, and deposits them on Tina's shoulders before she can stop him. She's forced to hold onto them to stop them falling, because crups have zero balance at the best of times and are exponentially worse as uncoordinated puppies.

"You didn't want Queenie to be left out," he explains, and turns sharply on his heel to leave. Three down, two to go. Easy.

By four o clock, all five puppies are back on his desk. Delgado is slouched in a chair, staring mournfully at puppy two. Graves shoots him a filthy look and refuses to feel sympathy for traitors.

"I'm sorry," Tina says. She doesn't sound particularly sorry. "But I wanted a crup when I was five. It wouldn't be fair to them - or to me - if I had one now. Besides, my landlady doesn't allow pets."

Delgado slumps lower in his seat. "Mine doesn't care."

"Yours is a no-maj."

Technically, amputating a crup's second tail was a harmless operation and recommended to allow them to pass as a non-magical terrier. Technically. Please see above for Graves' views on technicalities. Would you like a limb amputated so you could blend in? Graves thinks the fuck not.

He fights the urge to retrieve puppy two from where she's chewing on his budget report and hold her far out of harm's reach. Delgado, he reminds himself, is low-key terrified of Newt; even if he thought mutilating puppies was a good idea (which he doesn't, Graves has known Delgado for fourteen years now and he can safely say he's not a puppy-mutilator) he'd never risk it in case Newt found out.

"He still doesn't care," Delgado grouses, but he knows he's lost. No-maj landlords don’t accept magical pets, no matter how lenient they are. "And he's ancient. He probably can't see."

Puppy five - who, up till now has spent most of his time asleep - wakes up, looks around until he sees Graves, walks confidently in his direction, and falls off the edge of the desk.

He licks Graves' hand when he catches him and wags both tails.

"What if we kept them," Graves' mouth says with absolutely no permission from his brain, "but they stayed in the office?"

Delgado brightens immediately. "Lucky could be an office dog?"

"Sir," Tina says. She's pinching her nose. Graves agrees; this is a stupid idea, and he shouldn't have suggested it. He begins to say as much, but then puppy five yawns and curls into Graves' arms to go back to sleep.

"They're all being office dogs," he says instead. "I'm the head of department, I can do what I want."

Tina glares. Delgado beams and sweeps puppy two - Lucky, apparently - into his arms. Lucky chews the edge of his collar. Puppy five snuffles in his sleep.

Graves, technically, can't do what he wants unless he has Picquery's permission, but I expect you've got the idea about technicalities by now.

The agreement he hashes out with Tina is simple. (Why he has to hash out agreements with his own subordinates is beyond him, but her emotional blackmail techniques are top notch so he doesn't dare object.) Newt is away on a rescue mission business trip for another eleven days and seventeen hours - ish, Graves hasn't been tracking exactly how long it is, that would be pathetically love-struck. Which Graves is not. So, uh, Newt is away for a week or a month or some other length of time. This is the trial period. If the puppies are sufficiently well behaved and non-disruptive during their trial, Tina will support Graves when he asks Newt if the puppies can stay.

Newt, of course, will not allow the puppies to stay if he thinks they'll be unhappy as office dogs. This is important.

Newt will also not allow the puppies to stay if Tina tells him not to. This is also important. Pissing unfair, but important. Graves needs Tina on side.

Which means Graves needs the puppies to pass basic puppy training 101 and not - that's not, that's a negative, it means do the exact opposite please and thank you - crap in the lift.

Why were the puppies in the lift to begin with. The auror department is only on one single floor. Puppies. Get back here. Please. This is day four of puppies and coincidentally day four of cleaning up crap. Why.

"Morning, boss," Delgado practically sings, prancing into the office. Graves is attempting to teach the puppies what a treat is. He's read that crups are food motivated which means that they should do what he say if he gives them treats. The puppies’ view of should, however, seems to align with Graves’ view of technically, and training is going accordingly slowly.

"Lucky," he says, waving the beef jerky in her direction.

"My baby girl," Delgado coos, and Lucky scrambles straight past Graves and his beef jerky to throw herself at her person.

Food motivated Graves' ass.

"Lucky up!" Delgado commands, and Lucky - who so far has ignored and/or done the opposite of every single command Graves has tried - jumps excitedly up for Delgado to catch her and lift her above his head.

Something warm and wet closes over Graves' hand. He looks down to find puppy three looking up at him with big soulful eyes.

"Sit," he says, pressing her butt down with his other hand. She wags her tails at him and licks hopefully at the beef jerky. "Three. Sit."

Lick lick lick.

"You're calling him three? You can't still call him three. He needs a name, boss!"

"She. And her name is Three. These are her sisters One and Four, and her brother Five. C'mon, sit dammit."

Delgado drops into an inelegant sprawl on the floor, putting Lucky down in front of him. "Real names. Look - Lucky! Lucky sit, good Lucky!"

Lucky whines and tries to climb into his lap. So does Four, actually, and while a quick looks round shows that Five has decided to fall asleep with his head inside Graves' shoe (Graves loves Five but he has to question his intelligence sometimes), One is nowhere to be seen.

"Where's One?"

"Baby girl, c'mon. Sit, Lucky!"

"Delgado. Have you seen One?"

Delgado looks up from the tug of war game he's now playing with his shoelace. Lucky, Graves is quietly vindicated to notice, has not sat. Nor has Three, but that's because Three is nomming her way through a piece of beef jerky.

"Not since last night. Was she definitely with the others when you came in this morning?"

"Seeing as I brought them in with me, yes. Watch them, I'm going to look for her." He reaches for his shoe and gently tips Five out. The puppy whuffs and opens a sleepy eye, tails giving one lazy thu-thump against the floor.

"You brought them in - wait, you take them home with you?"

"Stay," Graves tells Five. Then, to Delgado, "They need to sleep somewhere, and I don't have a no-maj landlord to worry about."

He suppresses a grin at Delgado's squawk and leaves to find his lost ward. A quick point me for One doesn't pick her up - maybe there's something to what Delgado says about names - but a spell searching for crups in general oscillates between his office behind him and somewhere forwards and left.

Maybe tracker-stones in their collars? They don't have collars yet, but just think of all the protection runes Graves could fit on them. And health and longevity, maybe, if he can sneak them past Newt - Newt has a thing about not messing with nature and weakening bloodlines by making creatures rely on human magic, but c'mon Newt, puppies - ooooh, and storage runes, he could store water in their collars and teach them how to activate it with a paw so they never dehydrate on hot days, that's surely an essential one to include.

He's halfway through redesigning the basic collar strap by the time he finds One. (Not enough space on the normal ones. But if you replace the leather band with a sheet of leather carefully rolled into a band-like shape... 'course, then you'd need some kind of barrier between the layers to stop the runes interacting with each other, maybe back the leather with gold? Thick enough to keep the runes pure, thin enough that it doesn't interfere with the magical effects - and obviously it has to still be comfy to wear...)

"Tina," he says, only somewhat surprised. "You stole my crup."

"They're the office crups," she reminds him. "And anyway, Rosa's mine. You gave her to me." Rosa, pillowed in a paw-print studded blanket in the basket under Tina's desk, rolls her head to give Graves a smug upside down grin.

Graves hesitates, not sure if this is meant to be a test of some sort. Tina was the one who said he had to puppy train them.

"They're meant to stay in my office for training," he says, and his voice is very carefully neutral with no hint of hesitance. She can probably smell weakness.

"Rosa, heel," Tina says, reaching down and tapping her calf. One - Rosa - hops out the basket and trots over, mouth open and panting in delight.

How. How. Graves has been training the miniature hellions for four days now. Tina’s had Rosa for scattered parts of those. How.

"Besides," Tina continues, as if she hasn't just shown Graves up for the puppy-training failure that he is (he grew up with three dogs. How is he this bad) "You're hardly one to talk."

She gestures behind him with a tilt of her head. Graves looks back, then down, then sighs and stubbornly refrains from slumping his shoulders in defeat. "Five," he says, in what was meant to be a stern voice but comes out remarkably lacking in sternness. "Five, no."

Five wags his tails and lies down for another nap.

“I’ll bring Rosa back when I go home for the day,” Tina says, and Graves picks Five up and retreats to the coffee room in graceful defeat.

"Newt comes home tomorrow," Tina says, leaning against the door frame in a parody of nonchalance.

"Twenty eight hours and forty minutes," Graves agrees, not even trying to pretend he hasn't been counting. Tina, thankfully, isn't phased.

"So. Puppy training."

"Puppy training," Graves repeats. This is the test. The puppies have survived their trial period without being - too much - a distraction. Delgado's ability to do paperwork has taken a sharp dive, but the time he's spent in the training rooms has doubled so it evens out. One of the training dummies has started showing bite marks and all Graves can say is that Delgado teaches Lucky to fight dirty.

Rosa is, of course, sitting flawlessly at Tina's feet, tails tucked around her paws and head tilting as she follows the conversation. There is no question that she's passed puppy training.

Graves takes a breath and turns to Five, Three, and Four. "Puppies," he commands, then whistles and holds his hand low. Three and Four trip over themselves to come and inspect it. Five raises his head, divines that this is a training exercise and the hand is empty of treats, and drops his chin back on the carpet.

"Stay," Graves tells Three and Four, then holds his other hand out to the side and whistles again. Three almost - almost! - goes to it, but she remembers in time. Five continues to ignore it.

"You haven't used his name," Tina says; her grip is white knuckled around her elbow, and Graves can see Delgado peering anxiously over her shoulder. Lucky, he guesses, has already passed Tina’s test - but if Five can't pass then none of the crups stay. That was the deal.

"Five," Graves pleads, holding his hand out again and whistling. "Five, heel."

With a last, long suffering look, Five gets to his feet. He pads straight past the hand, flumps next to Graves' feet, and headbutts the heel of his shoe.

"I'll take it," Tina says instantly. "Fabulous. Done. Puppies are staying. Rosa, I think Queenie put bacon in your lunch, let's go."

There's a long, relieved pause as both Delgado and Graves slump to the floor. Three and Four wander over to say hello to Lucky, but Five wriggles his way up to Graves' hand and noses his head underneath.

"I can't believe we passed," Delgado says with a level of stunned that puppy training rarely warrants. "I can't believe you still call her Five."

"Him. Five is him. And Three and Four are Three and Four, so. Five is Five."

"Yeah, well. Now all we have to do is convince Newt to give us the ok and we're clear, right?"

Graves looks down at Five; the puppy has positioned himself directly under Graves' palm and is snoring quietly, tails wagging in an off-beat rhythm as he dreams.

He is, objectively, adorable. Newt will love him. "Right," he agrees with a faint smile. "Newt won't say no."

"No," Newt says. "They're never going to be office dogs."

Graves' perception of reality warps, and refuses to accommodate this new version of truth.

"Come again?" he croaks.

"Crups can't be office dogs," Newt explains. "They attach to specific people - they need homes."

They have people, Graves wants to say. Or - some of them have people. What would Lucky get out of a home that she doesn't get from Delgado? Is it the landlord issue? Graves will buy Delgado's flat. And Tina's. He'll be their landlords. Problem solved.

Newt must catch his expression because he makes an apologetic face. "Sorry, Graves," he says. "But... they're not right here. They're ok now, but when they're older, they'll be miserable." He gestures at where Three,  Four, and Five are currently inhaling their dinner at the feeding mat Graves has set up behind his desk.

A proper feeding mat, with bone-print bowls large enough to last them through to adulthood because Graves thought they might stay that long. But if Newt says it's not where they'll be happy...

He looks down at Five and swallows his protest. "Oh," he says. "Well, we can look into rehoming them, unless you have something else in mind?"

Newt smiles. "Rehoming is good. I have some ideas for where to put them if you can't find anyone, but if you have homes in mind then that's great."

Dinner finished, Five glances up to check if Graves needs anything. He must pick up on the mood because he expands his check to cover the whole room, and trots up to sit guard by Graves' chair.

It's single handedly the most painful thing that's ever happened to Graves. If it’s best for Five that Five goes then Five will go, but for Graves’ sake, couldn’t he be a bit less perfect and a bit less devastating to say goodbye to?

"You have to tell Tina and Delgado," he says to Newt, unashamedly wimping out of passing on that news. "Fair warning, Delgado will cry."

"Ok," Newt says dubiously. "Of... happiness?"

What. "What? No. You're - he loves Lucky. He's not going to be happy."

"Because...?"

Graves blinks. Did Newt get hit by a spell? Is he suffering short term memory loss? Is Graves suffering short term memory loss? "You're rehoming Lucky," he says slowly, "Because crups can't be office dogs."

"I'm not rehoming Lucky! Lucky has a home. She'd hate being separated - crups bond for life!" Newt looks over at Three and Four, gesturing sharply to emphasise his point. "We're rehoming them, because they're the ones without specific people to attach to and are going to hurt themselves trying to bond with the whole department."

"So," Graves starts, leaning forwards slightly. "So Lucky stays. And Rosa stays."

"Yes."

"And... Five stays?"

"Yes," Newt huffs. "All the crups with bonds stay." He pauses then, and frowns down at Five, who's still sitting in full alert at Graves' feet. "Did you really call him Five?"

"You called a thunderbird Frank," Graves reminds him, but his heart isn't in it. Five stays. Three and Four don't, but that's fair, they deserve the best homes and MACUSA isn't it for them. But Five chose Graves. Five stays.

"Good dog," he says, dropping a hand down onto Five's head. He gets a half-hearted lick in return, then Five flops down over his shoes and goes to sleep.

"Five," Newt repeats in the background. "Who has a familiar called Five. And there's nothing wrong with Frank, Frank's an excellent name."

Graves isn't listening though. He's still stuck on the landlady problem for Rosa and Lucky. Maybe if he uses a notice-me-not ward? Shit, why hasn't he got started on the collars yet. He needs to test how the runes interact; if they aren't efficient enough, he'll need to ugrade to a power-stone to keep them going. Maybe an amythyst on the tag? Or crystal wire woven through the leather...?

Newt, meanwhile, is being climbed on by Three and Four. He scratches behind their ears and sneaks a glance at where Five is sprawled protectively over Graves' feet, pretending to sleep.

"How do you feel about obscurials?" he murmurs to Four. "I know Graves said he'd rehome you, but I think there's someone you should meet first."

Four cocks her head, then shakes herself and pounces on her sister.

"Point taken," Newt says. "That's ok though, I think he has a sister. Or - he has two, one of them's a muggle though. You promise to get on with her even though she's a muggle?"

Twin excitable yips. Graves frowns and mutters something about fire-resistance.

"It's a deal then," Newt grins, and solemnly holds out a hand to shake Four's paw.

She chews his fingers, and the deal is done.

[starblossomed]

The answers to the other questions are under the read more because it ended up being very long.

4. Name a muse you have written in the past. What was your favorite thing about this muse?      I used to roleplay as Tsun from KHR and I really enjoyed playing him. The fact that he was so shy and scared, but also a bad ass when it came to protecting his friends? I love that type of character honestly.

5. Name a muse you wish to write in the future. What’s your favorite thing about this muse?      Hmm, I mean future muse I wanna add here is Morgiana. I used to write her before too and honestly I love that boss ass bitch. She is such a favorite character of mine.

6. How is your multimuse blog organised?      I dunno what this question means, but if I answer it the way I think it means. I think my blog is organized well enough? Like, my muses are by primary, secondary and requestable so I think it’s organized really well.

7. Do you have crossover verses for the muses on your blog?      No, but I’d be willing to write some! I’m just lazy and have like basic verses for all my muses until I need to make a new one.

8. Which of your muses deserves better?      All of them. No, but seriously I feel Naomi does. She got the short end of the stick all because a man and that’s why I have her being so canon divergent because I know she deserves better!

9. Which of your muses do you most identify with? Why?      Uh... UHHHH... Maybe Aimatia? Actually, Mitsuri. We’re both kinda air headed sometimes, but we love to compliment our friends and show them so much love, but we find it hard to see the good in ourselves sometimes.

11. Do you have any original characters on your multimuse? If so, tell us something more about them.      Aimatia!!! I was worried about adding her, but honestly so glad I did. Aimatia was my first oc ever made and we’ve been through so much together. She is honestly my baby and I’m so happy people seem to like her!

12. How many muses are you currently writing?      9 muses so far, but I’m weak and will probably add more.

13. In how many fandoms are you currently active?      8, since Aimatia is a fandomless oc and just exists everywhere.

14. What is your favorite fandom to write in? Why?      Hmmm, Death Note I think has become a favorite. I’ve met some really nice people here and honestly exploring Naomi’s character is so much fun!

15. What is a fandom you wish to write in one day?      Hmmmmm... In/Spectre honestly, but I don’t think there’s a fandom for that just yet. It’s such a good anime though.

16. What is a fandom you used to write in in the past?      Blue Exorcist! I used to rp as Renzou.

17. What is your favorite thing when you decide to add a new muse to your blog/when you decide to make a new blog?      Writing their about pages honestly. My about page style is simple and stuff, but each one is different and I have fun writing them up and then thinking up new headcanons for these characters.

18. Share an opinion you have about multimuse blogs.      When I was younger I used to be scared of them, but now I really enjoy them and have so much respect for other multimuse blogs. It’s so much work, but honestly so much fun.

19. Does your multimuse blog have a theme? Do the muses on your blog have something in common?      They’re all cute girls I love. HONESTLY, THAT’S THE THEME I HAVE AND I DIDN’T MEAN IT TO BE A THEME LOL.

20. What is the story or explanation behind your blog name?      I go by Queenie, so royalty and I’m writing so written and.. Yeah it’s not very clever.

21. Share a positive experience about multimuses you’ve had in the past.      I don’t remember my past rp time on Tumblr much, but currently I love rping with multimuses!! Legit give me all your muses and I shall love them.

22. List some of your favorite multimuse blogs.      @latibullc​, @feraliix​, @foliateface​, @otomates​, @kyrso​, @galaxythixf​, @theoriesoflove​, @tclesnmirrors​, @rcyalskies​, @sakuwai​, @detectiive​, @protectorrs​ ( Honestly every single multimuse I follow though. )

23. Tag a multimuse blog and write some positivity about them (their blog, their muses, etc.)      @latibullc​ IT’S HARD TO PICK ONE, BUT I’LL PICK FATAL BECAUSE HONESTLY I LOVE OUR BABIES!!! They’re so cute together and honestly I wanna rp with more of their muses!! Like give me them all, give them to me now.

[staytiny-angel]

Safe Haven 2/?

Co-written with @scream-qween

Pairings: Drew McIntyre/Becky Lynch, Eventually Drew McIntyre/Becky Lynch/Seth Rollins, Jon Moxley/Renee Young, Sasha Banks/Bayley/Charlotte Flair

Warnings: Violence, Language

Word Count: 1799

Summary: After an 8-year absence, 25-year-old Seth Rollins returns home to his pack but in no way resembling the Beta Werewolf that ran away after a violent misunderstanding with his brothers.

Seth is feral, and trapped in a form the bitten wolf shouldn't even be capable of, it turns out that he is the victim of a powerful curse that would make him a mindless slave.

Meanwhile Alpha Werewolf Drew McIntyre and his Part Banshee, Part Sea Witch mate Becky Lynch have joined the unorthodox pack of Haven in search of the final member of the Triad a seer told the pair they were destined to be apart of.

Taglist: @sethsevolution  @feathers-and-flesh-and-wrestling @deepdisireslonging  @writtingrose  @pikapuff316 @hitory--chan @finnsauroraborealis @the-beastslayers-queen

Becky slowly walked toward the cage, not taking her eyes away from the deadly predator currently staring at her with golden-brown eyes. Kneeling next to her mate she took his hand in hers and hesitantly reached through the thick sliver infused bars with the other.

Seth lifted his massive body up to sniff almost delicately at her hand before whining in the back of his throat and laying back down.

"I believe that's a 'Yes, you can touch me', Spitfire" Drew says with a slight smile.

Becky took a deep breath and reached into the bars again waiting until Seth lifted his head up to smell it once more. "If he bites me, I'm killing Reigns" she muttered. Much to her surprise however, Seth let out a content like a sigh and nudged her hand with his snout.

"He let you touch him?!" Roman exclaimed in surprise, causing Seth to growl at the sound of his big brother's voice

"Shut the fuck up, Alpha," Becky said quietly, "If he bites me I'll fucking drown you, dry land or no"

"Shhh, It's okay." Becky uncharacteristically cooed gently at the trapped wolf "That big dumb brother of yours won't say another fucking word."

Becky started to chant underneath her breath and an ocean blue light surrounded both the hand holding Drew's and the one she had placed on Seth's head.

Seth closed his eyes, sighing, revealing dark brown eyes, as Becky's magic faded. "Becky!" Drew yelled as the redhead almost collasped. "I'm fine, he's fine"

Seth barked in response, wagging his tail. "Fucking dork" Roman chuckled

"You might want to get the siren" Becky said shaking her head to clear it. "That curse is a fucked up thing, it's powered from his life energy. I managed to block it from siphoning more off of him but I don't know how long my shield will last"

Becky stood up and flipped the latches on the cage door and opened it. Seth practically lept at the redhead knocking her back down

"Becky!" Drew called out

"I'm okay," Becky said on an almost giggle as the 400-pound werewolf licked her face and nuzzled at her like an overgrown puppy

The sounds of footsteps pounded down the basement stairs as Hunter, Stephanie, Mox and another heavily bearded man with an acoustic guitar strapped across his back filled the basement

"Hey baby brother," Mox said as Seth ran over to him, Stephanie petting his head. Roman slowly got up and left, Seth noticing and whining. "He's wondering about that" Elias said, sounding bored. "Give him time to adjust honey, he hasn't forgiven himself"

Seth yipped in response shaking his head "You've been gone a long time doll, shit changes." Elias told him before sitting cross-legged in front of the wolf and placing a hand on Seth's head, a green glow surrounding both of them. "Whatever shield you put up against the curse...magic can get through to him easily now." He says to Becky

"Don't get used to this, brat." The acerbic man tells Seth, "You owe me free coffee and a place to perform for the rest of my life once you get your shop up and running. No offense to Cesaro, but his coffee will never be as good as yours"

Seth somehow managed to make an expression of disgust and grunted at the siren

"Now you and your Alpha will hold up your end of the bargain?" Drew asked Mox.

"Sure, if you like sharing your food with a pair of vampires" Mox replied with a shit-eating grin

"WHAT?! You betray our kind" Drew snapped, Seth, stepping in between them and barking.

"He says thank you for helping him but please don't disrespect his family, ANY of his family," Elias says to Drew quietly

"Violet babysat him when he was little" Stephanie says "Finn played Lego with him, they are his family. We only found him in the woods because Violet smelled the blood from the mansion" the older witch shook her head.

"If Violet and Finn had been anything other then Vampires, they absolutely would have raised him themselves. It broke their hearts just as much as ours when he left" Hunter added

Seth whined "Oh yeah kid, you're in deep shit. Queenie is gonna get you for running off like a little bitch" Elias says with a nasty smirk

Seth looked down guiltily and nudged his brother. Mox immediately began petting his head. "Who did this to you?" Drew asked Seth who barked in response

"What?!" Elias' magic flashed poison green before settling back into a more mellow shade "Paul Heyman?! He says he went looking for his birth parents. He wanted to know where he came from...about a year ago he got in a fight with Heyman's pet monster and ended up like this. Hold on you've been like this for a fucking year?!" Elias exclaimed "You were trapped in full shift for a year. You were only feral for 3 months the best that you can guess?"

Seth whined, and looked down. "Seth, honey. Why didn't you tell me? I could have found them" Stephanie said.

"He didn't want to" Mox said. "That's what we fought about. I said that they were probably dead. Ro...he said he'd be turning his back on us if he went looking for them. Roman lost his temper and attacked him, that's why Seth ran"

Seth howled "I'm sorry little brother. I...shouldn't have said that bullshit." Mox says dropping to the ground and wrapping his arms around his brother.

"That's where I know that curse from" Stephanie says quietly "Heyman. He developed it. It strips Born Shifters of their humanity....holy shit. That's why it didn't work on you, Starshine. Heyman's curse only works fully on Born Shifters. He must have assumed you were one."

"We have to turn Seth back to normal first," Mox said firmly. "Before I rip Heyman to pieces"

"Take him to Finn and Violet," Elias said, "You can turn him back now I assume?" He says looking at Becky and Stephanie

Stephanie nodded looking at Becky "If you can keep your shield spell up, I know the counter curse for this. I've done it for someone else in our pack that used to be one of Heyman's pets. Cesaro wasn't under it for as long as Seth has been."

"Your gonna need a big ass circle for this one, boss lady." Elias told her "and you are definitely gonna need Balor to fortify it. A lot of energy is pent up inside Twinkle here."

"Can I ask what's with all the star references? He wears a shooting star necklace too." Becky asks

Seth dropped to the floor in embarrassment, "Oh its because he's obsessed with space." Stephanie explained with a smile "He wanted to be an Astronomer when he was a little boy"

Seth let out a series of mumbles that made Elias chuckle. "He still has that potty mouth"

"Do you think Heyman knows that the spell didn't work on Seth?" Hunter finally speaks up

"Let's hope he didn't think it wasn't powerful enough, last thing we need is him boosting his magic" Stephaine replies

"Are you strong enough for this?" Stephanie asked Becky, who nodded. "Let's finish it and bring him back." The younger woman replied

"Come on Seth," his mother told him. "Time to face your other set of parents."

The group headed along the path that winded through the south woods that bordered Haven to a large mansion that looked like It had been dropped there from the Victorian era.

"This place makes so much sense now that we know who lives inside." Becky told her mate.

"Yeah" Drew grumbled, still unhappy about this turn of events.

Seth had stuck close to the pair the entire walk, at times dancing around them and nipping at their heels like he was excited about something.

Elias looked down at the wolf and snorted "You know all hell is about to break loose when everyone figures that out right?"

Seth barked at him, giving his friend a wolfy smirk before he turned to Mox, with an evil glint in his eyes.

"Don't you fucking dare-" Mox was suddenly shoved down, landing in dirt, Seth howling at him, looking at Drew and Becky, the pair laughing.

"You little shit" Mox growled, taking his jacket off before shifting himself, turning into a reddish brown wolf before tackling Seth.

"What will cause all hell to break loose?" Becky asked Elias

The siren let out a rusty laugh, like it wasn't a sound he made often "I hope the two of you like living in Haven. He won't want to leave again anytime soon" he says cryptically before taking the guitar off his back and strumming it as he walked along

"He won't want to leave again?" Becky whispered to her mate "He as in Seth?"

"I don't understand love. Sirens are...cheeky" He teased.

"Damn right" Becky grinned, slapping Drew on the ass before continuing her path.

The group came across a wolf sitting on the stairs, jumping from his spot. "Hey Baron" Elias greeted. "We need to see Finn and Violet"

Baron looked at the blond streaked wolf and let out a howl.

"Yep, your senses aren't betraying you, the Prince has returned" Elias answered him

The huge black wolf spun and ran up the stairs of the mansion barking his head off.

"Baron!" a woman's French-accented voice called out, "What is that racket you are making Mon Loup?"

An unnaturally pale but beautiful blue-haired woman came into view followed by a bearded man with short brown hair.

"Finn, Violet something happened while you were away from home" Stephanie says

Violet sniffed at the air, and gasped at the familiar, long missed scent "My baby?!"

Seth barked and ran forward, Drew unknowingly tensing. "I missed you Chaton," Violet said, kissing his furry head.

"Why is he fully shifted….he shouldn't be able…." Violet started to ask as she unceremoniously sat on the foyer floor and pulled the huge wolf into her lap. Finn sat down next to her and Seth immediately moved so that he was draped across both Vampires as he growled softly at them.

"Hey twinkle? My French and Gaelic are both real fucking rusty, would ya mind thinking in English?" Elias sighed rubbing his temples. "I know. I know. Automatic reaction to being with your Vampiric parental units. Apology accepted."

"He says….Twinkle I know, that part has to be in French I do know that word." Elias rolls his eyes in exasperation "He says he's sorry for leaving without telling you, Maman."

"Do it again and I'll kick your fuzzy little ass" Violet says quietly, but with feeling

Finn sat there petting Seth before saying "Don't you EVER worry us like that again." A low growl entered his voice, his eyes flashing blood red. "All THREE of us will kick your ass."

[helly-watermelonsmellinfellon]

Fantastic Beasts: CoG Thoughts and Observations

*SPOILERS* Press ‘J’ if you want to skip to the next post.

Grindelwald is a badass. I don’t even like him and yet he’s a fucking badass. He was in fucking prison for 6 months and they had to change his guards multiple times because he’s so damn charismatic that he kept luring the Aurors to his side!

He then got out long before he was supposed to be transported and literally took out everyone on the transport team. And he drove the damn carriage and without even looking behind him, directed bolts of lightning to take out some of the Aurors on their brooms.

He did not come to play.

Newt is still my adorable child. He’s so awkward and still feels like he did in the first film which is great. A lot of people whined about how he wasn’t ‘manly enough’. Because Newt shows compassion on the regular and is more soft-spoken and not interested in ‘manly professions’ or some shit, so he doesn’t fit the ridiculous type of masculinity Hollywood shoves down our throats and dudebros can’t relate to him.

“There are no strange creatures, only wicked people,” is a great line and should be used in reference to animals as well since some people still walk around acting like sharks and pitbulls are evil incarnate. I really love Newt.

Leta knows him well enough to know what he’d say in response to her comment. They have an awkward air of camaraderie about them.

Newt stood up to a teacher with that line of his and got a month’s worth of detention. Leta left a dungbomb in his office to get back at him so she could join Newt. Good friends fight the intolerant assholes in charge of your education together.

Theseus gives off this smarmy vibe. I seen people praise him as a good brother but at present just the way he stands annoys me. And it makes me sad that Newt feels like he can’t be himself in order to be rightfully treated like a human being should be treated.

The dude playing Theseus really does resemble Eddie though, so props for getting that right at least. I can believe they’re siblings.

As usual the Ministry is useless. Grindels is literally the reason NYC got fucked up. Him and his messing with Credence. Newt made some mistakes but actually worked to fix them and then saved all their asses in the process. Why is he getting blamed with misinformation? Even in the 20s Magical Britain’s Ministry is full of morons.

There’s a black dude in a high Ministry position. I think there are more POC in this film than all the HP films combined, jfc. ‘bout time!

Also, they never told Newt that Credence is alive and are now using that fact as a way to try and guilt-trip him into joining the Ministry. Cleverish I suppose, but I still don’t like them.

Some dude just referred to Credence as an IT. wtf? Credence is a wizard who, because magical people suck at getting abused children the help they need, ended up a massive mess. He’s not some thing to be treated like shit!

The brothers are arguing and Newt starts spouting off things he’s mostly likely heard from Theseus and his parents. I will admit Theseus seems less annoying now that he’s spoken a bit, but the fact that Newt starts saying, “Okay, right, here we go, selfish, irresponsible-” speaks of somebody who is used to being compared to another and having what others consider to be ‘faults’ shoved in his face and complained about. That sucks a lot.

Okay, Theseus isn’t as annoying as I expected him to be. He does seem to care for Newt and understand how his mind works to an extent. He isn’t offended that Newt doesn’t go to hug him back. Newt is just awkward with physical contact from humans. He’s always seemed to be on the spectrum for me and I’ve only recently found out that others feel the same, which makes his character more interesting imo.

Grindels is in lift shoes! Needs that extra height that badly? 5′10 isn’t short or anything but he really needed that lift to 6′0″? XD

At least Grindels and the Gang are only using AKs(silently btw). I don’t get why everyone always acts like AK is the absolute worst spell in HP when literally it’s just a quick and painless death. There are a bajillion others spells that are actually terrifying.

Newt easily noticing that he’s being followed and fucking with his stalker is the best. People who say Newt is weak are effin stupid.

I would not take the hand of some random glove hovering in my face. Now way, no how. idc who it might belong to, that’s some shady shit. I don’t trust people.

Though we have to admit that the glove forcibly Apparating him, even if it’s a small distance is pretty cool. Dumbles annoys me but as Phineas Nigellus will say in the future, “He’s got style.”

The fact that Newt knew it was Dumbles makes me wonder if Dumbles has done this before.

Dumbles literally just summoned a big ass fog to cover the city! I don’t like him but he keeps impressing me! It’s annoying! Stop it!

“A Phoenix will come to any Dumbledore in desperate need.” Interesting.

A wizard doing sleight of hand. Oi vey. Dumbles is a drama queen to the umpteenth degree.

God he was a cryptic asshat even back then. It’s very easy to believe this dude becomes the Dumbledore we all know. I think people are just bitching because they refuse to see Dumbledore for who he is. Lots of people whining about ‘how manipulative Jude’s Dumbledore is’ not realizing that HP-Dumbles is literally a Master Manipulator.

Baby Nifflers are effin adorable and I love how well Newt knows them!

Newt literally has someone working for him. And he’s been nothing but reassuring in his own way. He especially tells her to avoid the Kelpie because he doesn’t want her to get hurt. I have seen several people whining about him ‘being mean’ to her and I just have to ask, are y’all fucking stupid? He knows his creatures and when he tells her to not go near one alone because of how dangerous it is and she might lose a finger, he’s not being mean. He’s being a responsible employer. I know some of your bosses don’t give a shit about your well being, but Newt is actually a decent bloke. Chill the fuck out.

She’s flirting with him and is really bad at it. But it’s kinda funny at the same time.

Also can we just stop and talk about how talented Newt is that he can create such realistic habitats in such seemingly small and cramped places? He’s really good at magic.

Queenie and Jacob are cute. And to all the people whining about how ‘unnecessary’ he is to the plot, can y’all chill? He is there for a reason. To show how fucked up MACUSA is when it comes to dealing with Muggles. Queenie will literally be imprisoned if they find out she’s with a Muggle. It’s ridiculous and his character is supposed to show how even the American wizards are messed up.

Queenie calling Newt, ‘honey’ is sweet. I swear she’s the Molly of this new group of friends. Seems like she wants to take care of people and just adopts everyone who comes along.

God, even the magical gossip rags are shit even back then. They deliberately made it so it looked as if Newt and Leta were a thing. Though tbh nothing really happened between Newt and Tina in the first film so her being all offended over him possibly marrying another woman is ridiculous.

These weird shots that are supposed to be directly from someone’s point of view are a bit annoying, I must admit. It’s kind of like watching through a somewhat less annoying fish-eye lens, but still annoying anyway.

Newt is very smart. He notices very quickly that Jacob is out of sorts and that he hasn’t been acting normally. He deduces very quickly that something is up and then stops it.

I really like how level-headed Jacob is about everything considering all the crap he’s just thrown into. He cares enough about Queenie to not want her to be imprisoned/possibly killed for breaking a stupid law. I got really emotional at that part because MACUSA is full of idiots.

Jacob is right though, she’s not being sensible. There’s a lot at stake and it isn’t smart for them to marry yet no matter how much they want to. 

Jacob looks at the bird thing and then’s just like, “I got my own problems.” He’s been through enough shit to just not care atm.

And now everyone’s basically going to Paris anyway.

Walking through weird barriers into new places should no longer impress me but it still does!

The magical circus looks kind of awesome but the I’m also not a fan of how circuses are handled. So it’s this cross between amazement and annoyance at the inhumane way animals(in this case creatures) are being handled.

Literally, they are kept locked up in filthy places, I am unhappy! Also Claudia Kim, who portrays Nagini, is so very beautiful and I am so very gay.

Nagini’s hair has that little serpent-like curl at the end as it rests against her neck. It’s such an awesome little detail to throw in there.

Her transformation is really cool btw.

Wow! You treat the creatures like shit and mock them, and get all confused when they attack you? I hope pain was dealt.

What is it with all the bad guys in everything having to incorporate skulls into their dirty business? Is this supposed to be a play on the whole skulls and crossbones thing meaning death?

Though Grindels does make it more interesting than some wiggly tattoo at least.

Dumbles is considered the greatest threat to his cause when he’s practically been doing nothing but playing teacher. That’s some high praise I suppose.

He’s already known as ‘The Great Albus Dumbledore’! What did he do to gain such belief in his prowess? He’s like 46!

Newt’s asking Jacob for advice on what to say when he sees Tina again, and Jacob gives him great advise. “Best not to plan these things.” It’s good. And then Newt’s like, “She has eyes just like a salamander,” and Jacob’s tune changes immediately! XD “Don’t say that!”

Jacob is a good friend. I really like him!

Jacob’s reactions are the greatest because he’s literally like an in-universe representation of the fandom when we saw magic in the movies for the first time!

Do people know that Eddie Redmayne actually licked the ground?

Newt talking about how narrow Tina’s feet are and Jacob just being like, ‘okaaaaaaay’ is the best!

Queenie must be so lost. Hearing all these thoughts and not knowing the language they’re in. And it must be stressful to not only be in an unfamiliar place but also be completely unprepared for everything going on.

That is the perfect moment to trick her. Literally, I don’t get how people can’t see that she’s emotionally vulnerable and a prime target for manipulation right now.

Credence is just a mess. He needs friends. Glad Nagini seems to be filling in that role but honestly he needs a few more. Those who are ‘cursed’ in essence, like he is. So they’ll understand him.

I really love Jacob’s character. He’s just so amazed by magic and all the things it can do. ^-^

Newt! Knows how to tame and capture creatures he’s never even met before! Zuowus are cute imo.

Hedwig’s Theme, I am crying!

Also, Hogwarts brings back my feels.

Very confused about the McGonagall thing unless this involves time-travel which idk how advanced that was at the time.

The fucking Aurors just break into the class and Head dude’s like, “I can go wherever I please. OUT!” And all the kids just standing there and look to Dumbledore for direction. It’s fucking hilarious that they won’t even listen to the dude who could imprison them with whatever excuse he can make up. 

Now, there seems to be students of all ages in this classroom, which makes me wonder if it’s actually a class or Dumbledore has a Dueling Club set up, because he’s literally teaching a Gryffindor how to not make the same mistakes in a duel, right before owning his ass. idc what anyone says, no class of 17/11 year olds will have multiples students the size of first/seventh years in it. People are either really really tall or really really short. So I vote for a Dueling Club happening.

The Gryffindor who just lost the duel gets up in the dude’s face and is like, ‘he’s the best teacher we’ve got’. Props.

Dumbledore is way better than this Travis dude. And I mean by power and presence. I don’t like him any more than I do the Travis dude. Meaning not at all, But you get what I mean. Dumbles is far better for the good guys than this hoity toity asshat who thinks that because he’s Head Auror he can do anything he wants. Him ignoring Dumbledore’s warning is going to get a lot of people killed.

“We were closer than brothers.” How else can anyone take that? What is closer than a familial tie? A romantic one! Duh!

He’s banned from teaching DADA. But he isn’t banned from teaching any other class! Travis should have been more specific! This is probably how Dumbledore ended up teaching Transfiguration during Tom’s time at school since he doesn’t fight Grindels until 1945. I love loopholes!

Are the candles in the Great Hall just lit all the time?

I for one, think that ‘Talk Shit, Get Hit’ is a very wonderful saying to take to heart. So when people were talking shit about Leta, she damn well deserved to tear them a new asshole over it! I applaud her for cursing that gossiping little bitch’s mouth shut in the corridor. She deserved it. I am a blood-thirsty bitch!

Young-Newt literally looked like a young Eddie Redmayne. Superb casting on that part, God damn! He even got all of Eddie’s chosen mannerisms down!

You know, I’m not shocked that Leta’s being harassed by Gryffindors. The whole school treats Slytherins like shit the moment they’re Sorted. Even when they aren’t raised on the magical side and know nothing about Slytherin’s reputation.

I have mentioned how annoying I find the weird fish-eye-like lens view, right? ‘Cause it’s annoying me again.

BTW, I will always firmly believe that Hufflepuff/Slytherin friendships are the strongest. That is a deadly combination right there.

Albus admits that he didn’t love Ariana as much as he should have. Age does somewhat remove that veil from the eyes, doesn’t it?

I really, honestly think that people just decided that anythngn they saw in this movie was going to be horrible and that’s why y’all are being a bunch of whiny bitches over everything. Queenie didn’t just up and decide hey, I’m joining Grindels! She’s honestly at the end of her rope and is getting manipulated. Y’all are fucking ridiculous. Don’t pay for tickets if you intend to find fault in everything the movie has to offer.

The good sis stands up and points her wand at Grindels despite knowing full well she wouldn’t be able to do shit to him. Temerity ftw.

You gotta give Grindels some props. This dude knows how to play on everyone’s soft points. He just sees them and immediately goes in for the kill. Was Voldy like this in the 70s? It makes more sense that people would follow him if he acted like this before ‘dying’ the first time. ‘Cause after his resurrection he wasn’t follow-worthy imo. Too frantic and mad to take seriously.

He literally tells her that she’s an ‘innocent’ and that ‘he doesn’t wish her harm’. He then tells her to leave, which puts her under the impression that she’s safe from him and can make her own choices. This is a prime manipulation tactic because she’ll come back eventually once she remembers that he supposedly gave her a choice and no one else will. She told Jacob he wasn’t giving her a choice, and now Grindels, the supposed bad guy, is doing just that. And he makes it like he understands her suffering in her desire for love without restriction. Even good guys make mistakes. Y’all want to kiss Dumbledore’s ass for every shit thing he did by saying he was trying to save the world, so you can get over Queenie having a lapse of judgment during an emotionally and mentally trying period.

Ah, the Mirror of Erised, in which you see your heart’s greatest desire. And Dumbledore sees him and Grindelwald alone.

Also, I’m just saying that pressing their hands together would have been enough to make the blood mix. Linking their fingers is not necessary at all.

Finally it’s just Grindelwald as he currently is, staring him down with an innocent expression. And Dumbledore’s sad smile is the only thing we see as the scene fades to black.

Newt is so good with creatures, I love him!

Every time he comes out of that case I am reminded of how slight Eddie is.

Newt asks Jacob to get the tweezers from his bag, but after the mishaps in the last film where British and American English were proven to be different to a degree, he goes on to explain what they look like and both Tina and Jacob are like ‘we know what they are, dude’. XD

They disinfect the unconscious dude, Tina gets her info and heads off. And Jacob tries to get her to come back and then looks at Newt and is all, “You didn’t mention salamanders, did you?”. XD

Upon Jacob’s insistence he goes after Tina and tells her she’s different from other Aurors because she’s got Middle Head, in reference to the middle head of a Runespoor which is said to be a Visionary/Dreamer and doesn’t argue like the heads on either side of it. Tina doesn’t want to kill Credence like everyone else which makes her a different kind of Auror.

So that whacky black shroud that covers the city is Grindels’ way of calling his peeps together?

Grindels’ appears before Credence and tells him he ‘wants nothing from him and wants everything for him, that Grindels never had’. He and Dumbles are perfect for each other. Master Manipulators. A certain kind of Dynamic Duo. Grindels even uses the whole ‘my boy’ thing!

The shot is on Jacob. His stomach growls and it pans down and then up. And Flamel is right behind him when it comes back up! Shit like that always gets me in films! The only kind of jumpscare I’m not into. I don’t like my back being exposed so shots like this kill me.

The Flamels don’t keep food in their house. What exactly was the exchange for living so long? Like, I just thought the Stone kept them youthful and stopped their aging, you know? Apparently they have no need of food. Wouldn’t living that long be boring as hell when you can’t even enjoy the basics of life?

“You don’t look a day over 375.” I love Jacob! XD

Seriously though. Nicki looks like he’ll fall apart at any moment. Is living forever like this really worth it?

Nicki “Hasn’t seen action in 200 years,” OMG!

Newt Polyjuices himself into looking like Theseus and calls him ‘an Auror and a hugger’ in this long-suffering but fond tone.

Theseus and Leta are literally right there too!

It was all going so well and then Theseus looks down and isn’t it always like that? The plot must continue on somehow? I’m dying! XD It was a good plan until that happened.

Tina gets him down with a flick of the wand? The War Hero? Really? Good for her!

Newt is such an awkward turtle. I love that they didn’t insist upon Eddie changing up the way he portrays him!

Newt describes Tina’s eyes as “Having and effect in person. Like fire in water, dark water,” and if that isn’t the nicest way to describe dark brown eyes idk what is. HE’S TRYING SO HARD NOT TO SAY THE SALAMANDER LINE! XD

SHE SAID IT INSTEAD! XD How she got that I have no idea. I don’t know shit about salamanders.

And Leta finds them and runs with them. I wonder if Tina is feeling awkward.

He’s known the Zouwu for so little time and it’s already cuddling up to him! The Snow White of fucking wizards, everyone! He is a cinnamon roll and must be kept safe!

Honestly I am proud I kept up with the whole Lestrange family tree business because holy shit it was convoluted!

The Lestranges are so sexist. Only the men get recorded on the family tree, what bullshit. Leta’s father Raped her mother via Imperius and never loved her. Frankly, a child being jealous of a new sibling that he did love shouldn’t be surprising. Kids make mistakes all the time and hating her for making a rash decision she didn’t fully understand at that age, is ridiculous. She didn’t even mean to get him killed. It’s not like she’s some super horrible person for that.

Newt gets this! He literally gets it! And she tells him “You’ve never met a monster you couldn’t love”. I hurt. She’s not a monster, she’s a fucking human being who made a grave mistake when she was like 7 and it haunted her for the rest of her life.

Nagini doesn’t trust Purebloods because, “They kill the likes of us for sport”. Her life must have sucked.

And here’s where is all leads up to. The literal Crimes of Grindelwald. And not in the sense of law-breaking, although there has been a lot of that. The title means in reference to an act of of great offense which isn’t illegal but still considered morally reprehensible, against another person or persons. He’s spent this whole time manipulating the hell out of everyone and doing things both illegal and simply sinful. Lying isn’t against the law, but the way he’s doing it is wrong, and it helps him commit his ‘crimes’.

Also what the hell is with evil people and graveyards/tombs? Is this a requirement in joining the dark side?

Grindels finds muggles “Not disposable but of a different disposition.” He’s really workin’ it because he knows the kinds of people who showed up to this little speech thing of his and he’s getting all of them at once.

He’s literally showing them a vision of what will happen in WWII with the bombs in order to scare them into joining his side. It’s what will ‘rise up’ from the muggles, and Jacob understands it instantly. Scare tactics ftw! He has a point in a sense. Could we really say that the leading governments of our world wouldn’t try to enslave magicals in order to have the most power over all other countries?

The Aurors are called down to face the crowd and Grindels knows just what to say to stir up feelings of distrust. Though they’re cops so it’s not shocking. They’re all power-hungry and with the experience a lot of the people have with Aurors, plus Grindels sweet-talking them all, of course some chick just up and moves against them and get murdered on the spot. Not even detained. Cops kill first and ask questions later, not shocking magic ones do the same.

Auror used an AK without hesitation. But you know, everyone says that is the most evil spell in HP, right? And no one, not even Aurors, should use it?

And as expected, it all plays in Grindels’ plans. I’m not shocked. “Spread the word. It is not we who are violent.” Right after an Auror just murdered someone. Talk about playing on the emotions.

The fire Grindels’ conjures is blue, compared to normal fire. Which means it’s hotter. Voldy’s fire was also blue. Is this just because they’re magically powerful or are both Dark Lords?

Grindelwald uses magic like he’s a conductor. It’s interesting because everyone else but Voldy has only ever had a death grip on their wands. Voldy holds his wand more gracefully and loosely.

Nagini does not side with Grindelwald. And she has a point. He knows what Credence is, not who he is.

Okay, so a lot of people died in the blue fire, but Newt was able to hold the fire off from consuming him several times. My child is so powerful! He’s just never violent with it! *APPLAUSE*

Queenie’s desperation makes me so sad. She and Jacob love each other but go about it very differently.

I can’t tell if Leta was saying ILY to Newt or Theseus. Maybe to both but with different meanings? Romantic Love isn’t the only kind of love out there. One is her long-time friend whom she could have romantic feelings for if their bond is deep enough. The other is her fiance though her bond with him doesn’t seem that deep. Confusing and shot deliberately like that to confuse us too.

She tries to kill Grindels knowing it won’t work. I like Leta. I don’t get why people don’t like her.

He’s literally using his fancy Fiendfyre to destroy Paris. This dude aims big!

Flamel is a genius and a bunch of people, most who aren’t trained Aurors, just had to put out some powerful magic that would have destroyed a whole city.

Newts hugs Theseus!

The Niffler lives and got the Blood Pact thing from Grindels! How did he not notice it?

Queenie’s skills are very useful to Grindels in how to deal with Credence without scaring him off. He knew what he was doing in manipulating her to his side.

Grindels and Dumbles agreed not to fight one another. Wonder what would happen if they turned their wands on each other with intent to do harm. Pain? Or maybe... their spells being directed elsewhere by some unseen force and hitting nearby things(*cough* Ariana *cough*)? 

So here’s where I am confused but I have many thoughts. A.) Percival Dumbledore died some time after 1890 but no date is given. He was in Azkaban during the time and immoral things happen in prison. He could be the father. B.) Kendra Dumbledore died in 1899 and Credence was born ‘circa’ 1901(meaning around that time frame but no specific details are known) so she could have birthed him. Albus wouldn’t know since he wasn’t very present at home and was distant to his siblings. Kendra isn’t actually a Dumbledore but she had the name, Credence doesn’t know the details, and Grindels could have sent the Phoenix in some way. C.) Grindels is just lying altogether but he’s really believable. D.) He used the word ‘brother’ to mean family, like how he addressed the people as his ‘brothers and sisters’. His fellow magical people. So perhaps he meant as in like Credence’s kin. So he could be a child of Aberforth who would be old enough to sire a child(teens do it all the time), or of their Aunt Honoria who could have had a kid for all people know.

Dumbles is the one to tell us all about the Phoenix thing first. Grindels strengthens that fact later on, making it not just some children’s tale. It’s all left to us to wonder if he’s lying about Credence or not.

I observed a lot.

So for the cinematography, it was really well done save for the fish-eye lens crap. I really didn’t like that. But I am a sucker for panning from above. Also clever use of the camera while certain people speak. Angles can do wonders to tell a story.

I thought the plot was very easy to follow. I’ve seen people whine about it not making sense but literally, in stories about multiple people, the POV shifts. A lot. In order to understand why everyone is doing what they are doing, you need to know what is going on from their ends. So yeah, why is everybody just randomly in France of all places? Paying attention lets you find out!

I do have one really big annoyance and it’s more for it taking this long instead of it happening at all. In the original HP films there really aren’t a lot of non-white actors portraying characters, even if they’re just extras to fill in for other students and such. In this film there were extras of all kinds of nationalities. I saw a lot of Black and Asian folks just filling up the background. And I’m glad the universe now seems more realistic and diverse. It’s just annoying that the most diverse of all the films in this fictional world, is the newest one and kinda makes the others a bit disappointing since the 20s were less progressive than the 90s.

My initial opinions on certain characters did change. Naturally I hate Dumbledore as a character no matter what but he’s more interesting than before. And I don’t really like Grindels all that much but he is a badass and watching him is interesting. Theseus and Leta grew on me with such little time. I cried for both of them. I’m disappointed but not shocked or angry at Queenie’s actions. I cried for her too. Flamel creeps me out still. I like Nagini. She’s been through some tough shit and is mildly distrustful of everyone. And now she’s away from possibly her only friend(I got not romance vibes between she and Credence btw).

I liked all the story-telling. There were a lot of creatures. A lot of talking. A decent amount of action. And humor spread out here and there for some levity.

I thought it was a fine film. It was good. I’d re-watch it with the first without hesitation. I had moments where I laughed, moments where I cried, and moments where I wasn’t sure what I was feeling at all.

Grade: A

[holidayclownsinc]

get ready for the shit storm, y’all. the first one is simona best, all bde and boss ass bitch energy, the mayor and a lawyer, mother of two, the whole package! plus, it’s beyonce! 

oh hi there, welcome to holiday, SIMONA BEST. oh wait, you’ve been here. has anyone ever told you that you look like BEYONCE? you’re FEMALE and use SHE/HER? just checking. and you’ve been here for ALL YOUR LIFE? you’re 37 too, right? just curious. you work as a LAWYER/TOWN’S MAYOR still? you know people say you’re UPBEAT, CUNNING, but HEADSTRONG, VENEGFUL so i guess take that with a grain of salt. well, at least i do know you’re excited for ALL THE HOLIDAYS. bye now! [it still be asher]

alright here we go

she’s a holiday native and loves the town more than air

she will literally cut a bitch if pushed too far 

she has so much bde and top energy 

like she gives rina a run for her money

but anyway

she went to howard for undergrad, and harvard for law school

she was home coming queen junior year, prom queen her senior, she was sorority president in college

and always 100% that bitch

she has two darling children, queenie (8) and orpheus (6) 

queenie was less than planned from one a night stand, but she was fine with that, she didn’t need a man to help her 

and orpheus was from a sperm donor, knowing that she never wanted single children, siblings build social skills and responsibility 

she was the lead defense lawyer in the state, she could get anyone off of any charges basically, but she only took on clients she believed in their innocence and would often work for underprivileged clients for free 

simona made plenty of money off of her other clients to make a good living for her and her children 

she decided that she was tired of the hustle and bustle and wanted something a little more quiet so she could be closer with her kids

so she ran for mayor 

her slogan was “simona knows best” and with her political knowledge from her work in law, it was an easy win and she took the election in a landslide

she’s a tough bitch, but she really loves the town and considers it a third child 

she would do anything to protect the integrity of the town 

when you hear her louboutins clicking down the hall, it’s time face the face of god herself 

but she’s really kind until you push her 

she has terrible road rage 

do not cross her at whole foods, she will cut you, karen, don’t try it 

is kind of a tiger mom, even for holiday, but she loves her kids, and holiday, and just wants the best for them 

so any way, a mother of two, a mother of a town, will cut a bitch, that’s about it

[evening-rose-309]

The Crimes of Grindelwald A. K. A. Boi What The Fuck

Okay. I've seen a lot of people do this and I can see why. I just... I have seen this thing that I love and hate and wanna rewrite and mix up, tear apart, and piece back together with tape and kiss and frame it up on my wall when it's done. I need to rant, so here we go;

Part I The Things I Loved

Grindelwald and Queenie, as @thegaypumpingthroughyourveins puts it, 'bitch bros'. I mean seriously. Blonde? Yes. A bit scary? Yes. Their exes left because they're motherfucking bonkers? Most definitely. Absolutely beautiful in their own ways? Yes hon. I just love these two, okay? M'kay, next.

Vinda 'deeply committed' Rosier sneekin' into her country's Ministry like a boss.

Vinda in pants? Oh yes.

Abernathy dressed an old lady? Funny as fuck and Vinda called him 'madame'.

Abernathy getting his tongue cut off in Gellert's place? Bitch, he deserved it. Where is Percy you asshole?!

Nagini being from Indonesia 🇮🇩 (Yes I am proud, don't shun me for loving my country)

Theseus awkwardly hugging Newt.

Leta telling the story of how she exploded dung bombs under her teacher's desk to join Newt in detention.

Leta flashbacks.

Young Newt is precious.

Regular Newt is a cinnamon roll we must protect him.

Newt licking the sidewalk in broad daylight.

Newt and Jacob bromance.

"Follow the feather"

Jacob and Queenie being all "Jacob no!" "He won't mind" "Jacob..."

The Yusuf Kama parasite thing.

"Calamari..."

Newt heeding Jacob's advice on not saying Tina's eyes are like salamander eyes but she figures it out anyway.

Leta finding Newt and Tina at the ministry.

The Lestrange family is fucked up but I love their history and watching purebloods screw each other over for power and revenge is just funny to me I don't know why.

Gellert's escape from MACUSA.

Gellert showing his followers the outcome of WWlI

Gellert chilling on the roof as he waits for Credence.

Credence's face when he see's Gellert.

Gellert and Albus having a blood pact so that they wouldn't fight each other. (@silverynight and @mischiefs-hawk their married aren't they?)

Aurors fucking shit up and proving Gellert's point.

Credence Aurelius Dumbledore exploding a mountain after he is just given a wand.

Gellert giving Cree a wand and a phoenix.

Gellert and Queenie at the end looking at Cree from the crack in the door.

Bunty asking Newt to take off his shirt. (Don't we all want to see that?)

Baby nifflers.

Regular niffler surviving the whole fire scene.

Niffler stealing from Gellert under his nose, literally.

Scamander bros hugging it out after Leta's death.

Nicolas Flamel being random as hell, but I love this wacky centuries old man anyway.

Matagots turning into kittens.

Giant blue fire dragons.

Part ll Things That Annoy Me (Addressed to Gellert Grindelwald)

Gellert, why did you throw the chupacabra out the window? Poor thing just wanted a hug dammit.

Gellert, did you only kill those people because you wanted their apartment? Did you like the wallpaper or something?

Gellert, did you even notice the niffler stealing the blood pact out of your damn pocket? I saw your foot move to make room for it you ass hat what the fuck?

Gellert, are you seriously telling me you need to smoke out of a goddamn skull to show your followers your visions? That is not healthy, what is wrong with you?

Gellert, why did you kill Leta?

Gellert, where the fuck is your goddamn house? I thought it was in the middle of the Baltic Sea not snowy Austria.

Gellert, where is Percival Graves?

Gellert, why did you not finish off Spielman? WHY THE FUCK DID YOU LET HIM HAVE HIS WAND BACK?!

Camera on the Leta scene at Hogwarts was shaky as hell.

Gellert, why are you so blinkered?

Gellert, did you literally name the boy you wanted to kill Dumbledore 'Aurelius Dumbledore'?

The pacing in this movie was a wonderful clusterfuck.

Gellert, did you drug Queenie's tea? Is that why she's acting nuts?

Gellert, did you actually bond with Queenie over your exes? Do not project your heartbreak on that poor woman, she is desperate.

Gellert, did you literally order coffins and a carriage specifically for the bodies of that family you killed? If so, how did you not know about the kid?

Bunty, you look like a nice lady but seriously you are creepy as fuck, not going to lie.

And finally,

Gellert, I am going to blame most of the movie things about scenes, pacing, and camera on the directors, but WHY THE FUCK DOES THE CAMERA FOCUS ONLY ON YOUR FACE?! IT MAKES IT HARD FOR ME AND MY -3 GLASSES TO FOLLOW YOU!

Okay y'all, that's all from me. To tell you the truth, I Loved This Movie. The past few months have been hard on me and seeing this magnificent piece of art had been the break and blessing I needed. I love it, I am going to watch it again. And again. And again. I'm looking forward to the next one.

Listen, for those of you who haven't watched it, sorry for the spoilers, but don't listen to all the critics and the haters. Watch the movie. It has its flaws, but a lot of love went into making it. Please go and enjoy it.

[ace-angel-judas]

What are some Queenie compilation videos that fans have made?

Queenie being a boss ass bitch for ten minutes

Compilation of Queenie judging people.

Compilation of Heechul thirsting over Queenie.

Queenie and Daesung being a couple for twenty minutes.

[jcmorgenstern]

i think helen will be introduced next episode! (along with grownup seelie queen - 10 bucks says valentine told queenie who has the sword). haline is/was one of my fave otps and i'm even more excited for them now since aline is a boss ass bitch.

LMAO anon I’ve been putting off making that meta post and now you beat me to it!! but great minds think alike. Originally in 2b my weird off the wall theory was that valentine told the queen about jonathan’s lilith blood and that’s why she’s like “wow gotta get me some skinny fake redhead ass” but as soon as magnus was like “oh the sword was gone 20 years ago” it fell together pretty much right then. I was always of the opinion she only got with Jonathan to make Ash more powerful and honestly that’s kind of fucked but whatever lmao im sure whatever they do with them will be eXTREMELY messy and i hope she at tops

YES omg honestly I’m excited for haline too and meeting helen (though i gotta admit i am So. Into. Frayhallow. im . not even sorry. but mostly now I’m really sad for the relationship between Aline and Sebastian (Verlac) because it’s clear she trusted him with her sexuality and loved him a lot and is really angry that he’s gone and ….ugh. I’m sad.)

[writershapeholeonthedoor]

Unconventional Family - Chapter 2 - During

Chapter 1 - Before

Sumary:  “The way Cordelia looked at her made her go weak in the knees. She was about to die, she knew it and Cordelia also knew it. Madison had done a lot of fucked up things through life, most of them involving Cordelia, and yet the woman trusted her. She had no one else, she had no family, all she had was Cordelia and it had been like that for years now.”

Disclaimer: You might want to take care while reading this, there is mentions of violence, sexual abuse, drugs and alcohol use, and depression. Please, let me know if there are any grammatical mistake!

Read it at AO3

Cordelia and her talked about a lot of stuff. Minor things at first, like boys and hobbies, but then the woman started to fell more confident to ask her about other things too, like her family and the fact that she had been working since she was two. They also talked about Hank sometimes, Myrtle and, eventually, Cordelia’s mother. Cordelia was the first one to ever know about Madison’s bisexuality, something she never said to anyone because she was too scared of the consequences, especially with her career. She was also the first one to know how scared of clowns Madison was, how she missed home, even if there was no one there that cared about her, and about her heart murmur. Cordelia was worried sick about it and she searched in every place she could so she would learn all about a heart murmur since she wanted to be ready to help if Madison ever needed it – she went far enough to take Madison to three different doctors to get her checked..

They were starting to creat a bond that was more than just teacher-student when Madison overheard a conversation that the other two occupants in the house were having in the kitchen. She didn’t meant to, but Madison heard her name when she was passing by to go to her room and the curiosity took the best on her.

“You’re not her mother, sweetie.” Hank’s voice always sent shivers in Madison’s spine, like she should be scared of him for some reason, but she never actually understood why.

“I know that, Hank, but... but she has no one.” Cordelia sounded like she was sorry, pity even, and Madison felt her heart drop to her stomach.

“You see yourself in her, I get that. Both of you have some crap moms, but you don’t have to be that to her, okay?” There was a stop, but Madison was too shocked to move to keep walking or to see what was going on in the room. “You cancelled our date last night.” Cordelia had spent the night in Madison’s room so they could watch Buffy and laugh. “How are we going to have our kid like this? We have been planning this for years, sweetie, and we’re so close to get there, but how are we going to do this if you keep acting like you owe something to Madison?”

“Hank...”

“I know you. You feel like you owe that to her because you had Myrtle to replace your mother and she has no one. You don’t have to be that person to her, Cordelia.”

If Madison hadn’t run away she could have listen to Cordelia’s soft “I like her, Hank, she’s a good girl and I know I don’t owe her anything, but you can’t blame me for wanting to spent some time with her.”

Madison was back to her shell by the morning and Cordelia never found out what happened. Three months later, Queenie came along, followed by Nan a few weeks later. Suddenly Cordelia had more girls to worry about, more classes to give, more books to distribute. Less time for Madison, even if the girl wasn’t talking with her besides sarcastic comments for a while. The former actress would never admit it out loud, but she missed movie nights and ice creams after lunch.

Everyone could see that Madison had become the rebel teenager every cliche movie had. Cordelia still tried to talk with her like nothing had changed, but all she got back was snapping comments, glares and eye rolls, but Hank started to ignore Madison’s presence all along, not that she cared much about him - Queenie became the perfect target for her and Nan was just a pain in the ass. Madison was alone one more time.

Madison tried not to get bitter with Queenie and Nan, she really did. She told herself, many times, that it wasn’t their fault, that they didn’t had how to know that they weren’t supposed to be there, but something inside of her still made her hate them. Well, hate sounded a little too strong of a word, but that did, for sure, stop Madison of having a nice relationship with them, she could realize it, because she wasn’t dumb as many people could think.

She also didn’t had a good relationship with Fiona. Sure, Madison admired her for her power, but she really hated that bitch with all her heart. Fiona was too much like her own mother, more concerned about herself than with people around her, not giving a shit about her daughter and too busy traveling the world to care. So, yes, Madison admired the Supreme’s figure, but she disliked Fiona and would have punched her in the face if she ever had the chance. And the only other person in the house was Hank, so Madison had literally no one else.

Madison couldn’t deny that during the year she lived alone in the house she was happy, because she was. Truly. She was learning more things about magic, doing stuff she never thought it was possible and she was having a lot of fun. Not to mention that Cordelia became her mother figure, something she would never say out loud, but that she knew deep in her guts.

And even if things were great, it all went to Hell when she found out exactly why Cordelia acted the way she did. Madison felt used, like she was chose to fill a hole in their lifes because they couldn’t have the real deal.

  "Hey, do you want to go to the ice cream shop?" Cordelia already had her purse, knowing that the girl would never refuse the invitation to eat some delicious ice cream at their favorite place.

"No." Madison was layed down in her bed, her cellphone in her hands, a book by the floor that looked like she had throw it away a while ago.

Cordelia was taken back, a frowning running her face. "Are you feeling okay?" She asked and walked to the girl to put a hand in her forehead – she was sick, that was the only explanations she could think about.

"Don't touch me." Madison knocked Cordelia's hand away from her like it was on fire. "And get out of my room."

"Madison..." The older woman was looking at Madison like she had a second head suddenly. "What is going on? Did I..."

"Get the fuck out."

When Cordelia was out of the door, lost and confused, Madison allowed herself to cry.

  It wasn't the first time Madison ever used drugs, but it was the first time she was doing it with no intention to stop. She didn't remembered the name of the girl underneath her, but the girl offered her cocaine and Madison just followed her around. The sex wasn't planed, but it was a bonus, so, when the nameless girl poudded some of the cocaine in her stomach, Madison didn't hesitated even for a second before she leaned over to take it, while her fingers kept pounding inside the girl.

Cordelia's face crossed her mind for a second and she wondered what would be her teacher's reaction if she saw her right now - or even find out about the drugs or the pot under her bed. She didn't spent much time considering it, the image of Cordelia and Hank in the kitchen took place and Madison soon found herself accepting some of the ecstasy the girl was handing her.

  Zoe Benson was just someone else she had to deal with. A new girl, boring, with nothing to offer and placed in her room as a punishment. Madison didn’t want a roommate. She managed to avoid both Queenie and Nan, but, even if they still had plenty of empty rooms, Cordelia still put Zoe in her room. It had to be a punishment for her.

Taking Zoe out to a party in the girl’s first night there was her own way of punish Cordelia back. Take the inoccent, nice and well educated girl out, and make Cordelia regret her decision to let them be together. Nothing ever back fired so fast in her life before. Ironically, Madison heard Cordelia’s voice while the first boy was forcing himself on her, it was low and muffled, in the back of her mind – “don’t ever accept drinks from strangers!” – something her own mother never told her.

Flipping the bus wasn’t the only thing she wanted to do, if she could, Madison would had set the whole thing on fire and explode – when she set the curtain on fire, that was the only thing she could think about. But, at the time, it was impossible, so she just turned around and walked away, thinking about how much she wanted to go home and crawl in bed to cry.

Something broke inside of her, the last thing that made Madison a sweet girl one day maybe, she wasn’t sure, she just knew something was deeply wrong with her. It also didn’t help that Zoe decided to tell people about it and it, for sure, didn’t help when Fiona pretended it was nothing. It was something. It happened to her, didn’t the woman cared about her own Coven? Who would she boss around if there was no Coven at all?

Cordelia never heard about it and Zoe’s guilty finally acted, so she kept her mouth shut. Madison was happy. The woman didn’t needed to know about it.

  Misty Day was the first person she ever saw after coming back to life for the first time. Madison had no clue who that woman was, or why she was so close, or even what the hell was going on, but something about her made the girl calm down and don’t freak out. She still needed her cigarette though. Madison remembered only small pieces of information about what happened, but she knew enough to find out how she ended up like a corpse.

Fiona didn’t liked her, it was obvious since the beggining, but she also didn’t liked the old woman, so it was fine. Of course Madison wasn’t expecting to have her throat open with a scissor in Fiona’s hand, especially after they shared such a fun night. Madison felt stupid. While they drank, danced and laughed, she honestly felt like Fiona was her friend, and she let her guard down. It proved to be fatal. It would be, one day, since Madison was used to be let down by people, even if being murdered was news for her.

Zoe was worried about her. She kept following Madison around like she was a bomb about to explode when her zombie boy wasn’t demanding her attention, but the former actress couldn’t care enough to talk to her. Madison still felt numb, like she was still dead.

Numb. Her stomach could barely keep anything inside, everything tasted like nothing in her mouth and her fingers felt like a strange body when she touched something. It was like her body wasn't hers anymore and it was fucking scary.

  “Hey.”

Madison almost ran away when she heard Misty’s voice approaching her. She was sitting by the porch, smoking her fourth cigarette while watching the people walking around like they didn’t had a problem in the world, feeling a little jealous of the simple life some of them seemed to have. Madison never had a simple life, she always had to follow scheduals, attend her obligations and work hard, and life wasn’t getting easier for her – being killed could be used as an example.

“How are ya feeling?”

The younger girl considered the question for a couple of seconds, not sure about the answer in her head. It seemed like she didn’t actually ‘felt’ anything. “Why do you care?”

Misty sat by her side, shrugged and rubbed her hands in her dress. “I have been there. I know how it feels.”

“You know fuck.” Madison scoffed, trying to sound mad, even if her eyes were tearing up. Why didn’t she felt anything? “Leave me alone.”

The Cajun didn’t said anything for a few minutes. She just sat in silence while Madison finished her cigarette and pulled another one out, watching how the wind blew the leaves in the trees. “I won’t.” She promissed, finally.

Madison looked a little surprised with the honest answer. “The hell?”

“Cause I know ya don’t want that, Madison.” Misty sighed. “Ya don’t wanna be alone, dosen’t matter how hard ya say that to yourself.”

“Oh, please, light me with your wisdom about myself, stupid bitch.”

Misty ignored the harshness. “I can feel your soul, Madison.”

“And what the exact fuck is that supposed to mean?”

The older woman slowly turned her head to face Madison, a sad smile in place. “I never saw such a lonely soul.”

  To see Cordelia’s disfigured face was a shock. It was the first feeling that Madison felt after she came back from Hell and, as most things in her life, it wasn’t something good. For the first time since she overheard Hank in the kitchen, Madison held back her comments. She could see that Cordelia was already beaten herself up enough, the last thing she needed was Madison making things worse for her.

So, instead, she spent her days locked in her room or running after Kyle, trying to get his attention. If Madison actually payed any attention to her own feelings, she would have noticed it wasn’t Kyle she was trying to get with, she would have realized she was only chasing him because she wanted someone else attention to herself. But she didn’t, because feelings was something Madison ran away from, so she kept pushing, until Kyle finally fucked her against a wall, rough and sloppy, like he had no idea what he was doing, but was still willing to do – later that night she wondered if he, in fact, had no idea what they did, since he was a big baby after all.

And yet, Madison felt nothing. Sure, having the boy’s dick inside her made things more exciting, but the feeling left her body so fast that she wasn’t even sure she even felt it in first place. Madison wasn’t used to it. She was used to the lack of good emotions, but she always felt something, like anger – most of the time, to be honest. The fact that she couldn’t anymore scared the hell out of her.

Laying in her bed later that night, when Zoe was gone, helping Kyle to shower or whatever, Madison allowed herself to think. Unsurprisingly, she wished she still could go talk with Cordelia. She would know what to do, she would know what’s wrong with her. Even if she would only pretend to care.

  Madison walked down the stairs that morning with more confidence than she did the other day. Small victory. Everyone was missing. She heard Zoe waking up before the sun raised, the girl left the room shortly after and hadn’t return until Madison left. Even if she wasn’t sure, Madison could bet she was with her love boy. With a sigh, she entered the kitchen, searching for her beloved coffee.

She stoped in her tracks when she saw Cordelia standing in the kitchen counter, blindly moving her hands around. Madison spoted a empty mug about two inches from her hand and she knew what was about to happen before it even did. Cordelia moved her hand again and, even if it was slow and calculated, she knocked the mug out of the counter. Her hand retracted back to her chest like it was burned and her whole body flinched while she waited for the noise to echoed throught the house.

It never happened.

Quickier than she thought she could, Madison raised her hand, thinking about the simple spell Cordelia teached years ago, and the mug stoped just before it hit the hard floor. She saw how Cordelia’s head moved to the side, confused, while she wondered why the cup hand’t broken like it was obvious it would.

“Misty?”

Madison could hear the uncertain in her voice. Cordelia wasn’t the most confident person to ever step in the world, or in the house, but she never sounded so defenceless. Instead of saying anything, Madison walked to the sink, moving her hand so the mug would follow her until she could grab it. Quietly, she slidded the tea pack to herself, picked one and placed in the mug, before taking the kettle to add the hot water in it.

“Madison.” It wasn’t a question, so the girl didn’t aswered it, but she almost smiled. She saw Cordelia making tea inumerous times before and, even if she hadn’t done one herself, she knew just how the woman liked it – and even if the woman couldn’t see her, she knew it was Madison. She knew.

The younger blonde worked in silence, putting two spoons of honey in the mug, mixing it together and slidding it back to Cordelia. Madison wondered how the woman was able to grab all the ingredients and turn on the stove without blowing up the kitchen, but she wasn’t going to ask her any questions about it. It was already hard enough to see Cordelia’s face, her empty eyes, she didn’t need the descrition to go with it.

Madison held the mug until Cordelia’s fingers closed around it, then the actress finally let it go and took a step back. “Thank you.” The woman said, taking the tea closer to her. Madison opened her mouth to say something, but shut it fast again. She looked around the kitchen, finally spotting the coffee pot in the corner. “I smelled coffee earlier.” Cordelia offered. “I think Zoe did some.”

Cordelia always made coffee to her students. She prefered if they drank tea, but she knew she couldn’t expect that from Madison, and then Zoe showed up, and Cordelia finally gave in. But Madison figured she couldn’t do it now. A shame, she made the best coffee.

With a sigh, Madison grabbed a cup from the cabinet, put some coffee in it and walked away. She saw a wild blonde hair with her corner of her eyes and she knew it was Misty coming inside. Cordelia would be fine.

  Madison wasn’t thinking when she hit Misty’s head with the brick. Well, she was thinking, to be honest, but she wasn’t considering what the hell she was doing. She was killing a person. She was taking someone else life. Sure, Misty didn’t die with the impact in her head, but she was going to die in the coffin, and even if Madison knew it, she still turned her back and walked away like Misty was less than a fly.

It didn’t hit her until she finally got home and saw Cordelia. She had new eyes, Myrtle got her a few days ago, and she was searching for something when Madison crossed the door.

“Hi, Madison.” Cordelia’s old smile was back. It has been a while since Madison last saw it. Before Queenie, before Nan, before she freaked out. “Did you see Misty? She asked me if I could show her...”

“I haven’t.” Madison cut her short, crossing her arms. Cordelia’s smile dropped a little, her eyes running around the room like she was expecting – no, hoping – that the other woman would just jump from one of the corners. “What is this suddenly interest in the Swamp bitch? Are you looking for someone else to screw over?” She didn’t gave Cordelia the chance to say anything, Madison just turned around and walked upstairs.

It was enough, though, to see the look in Cordelia’s face. Hurt. She was hurt with Madison’s words. Cordelia was the first person that ever cared about her, even if she was pretending or using Madison, and that was something the girl couldn’t lie about. Cordelia cared about her and she clearly cared about Misty as well. And Madison just hit Misty’s head with a brick and let her to die suffocated in a coffin – which, by the way, was supposed to be used by someone else - in the middle of a cemitery.

Madison was able to ran to her room before she let anyone see the single tear rolling down her face. It wasn’t fair, she knew it. Misty was a good person and she didn’t deserve to die, and Cordelia didn’t deserved to lost her only friend, or whatever Misty was to her. But it also wasn’t fair to have to do it, Madison thought. Fiona was very clear when she said there was only one Supreme and the woman thought it was her, Madison. That’s why the old bat killed her in the first place. Fiona let it clear that it’s how things worked in the Coven and Madison wasn’t going to lie and say she didn’t want to be the Supreme. The most powerful witch in the world, Fiona once told her. Yes, she wanted that, deep down she wondered if in fact she actually needed it more than wanted it, but that wasn’t the point. The point is that she killed her competition, just like Fiona showed her how.

She craved the power, the control that would come with being the Supreme. Control was not something she had much in her life before and it was only getting worse with time – first with the college boys, than with Fiona, than with Spalding. Spalding, the fucking jerk, that kept her dead body to his own sick pleasure. Madison didn’t knew what he has done to her and maybe she didn’t wanted to know, but that was just something else to add to the giant list of things she had lost control off.

Madison only wanted it back.

  She wasn’t surprised that Misty was mad at her when she came back - Madison was still mad at herself to be fair – but she was surprised when the woman punched her in the face. Madison never got into a fisical fight with anyone in her life, so she had no clue how to deffend herself or attack back. Misty was strong and she was mad, and Madison wished Cordelia had stoped her to do it, because her mouth and ribs were sore for days after that.

She knew it had to exist a spell that would make the pain and marks go away, but she would have to ask Cordelia about it, and the last thing she wanted was to do it. Cordelia let her be beaten up, she wasn’t worried about her before and she wouldn’t be after the bruises appeared in her pale skin, so no, Madison was not going to ask for her help with that. Instead, she popped some pain killers with vodka and hope not to die again.

Zoe had no reasons to be worried about her, not after every shit Madison had pulled, but she was the one who offered the pain pills in the first place and, even if she didn’t said a thing when Madison swallowed them down with the vodka, she still sticked around until it was clear the blonde wasn’t going to kill herself with those.

The reason why Cordelia didn’t said a thing only occured to Madison five days later, when she was out to buy another bottle of vodka, standing behind some old lady holding a walker. Cordelia couldn’t see her. The woman stabbed her own eyes to find Misty and now she was blind again, which meant she couldn’t see her bruises. Madison sighed when the lady walked until she was the next in line. Well, Cordelia was also not going to see the empty bottle in the trash tomorrow.

  Madison felt something inside of her break when she saw Cordelia crying over what should be Misty’s body. Ashes. Dead, again. That was what? The third, forth time? And Cordelia never stoped crying. Madison wondered why she was so sure Misty was the next Supreme and why the woman allowed Swampie to do anything that would risk her own life when it was clear how much she cared about her. She stabbed her own eyes, after all, just to find Misty and bring her back to life, and she didn’t even knew for sure that she was dead.

Madison got up from her seat. She saw how some of the ashes around Cordelia moved with the wind that her movenment caused and stayed still for a couple of seconds. Misty was dead. That was it, she wasn’t the Supreme, which means it was either Zoe, Queenie or her – in the back of her mind she remembered about the other two witches in the room.

“Cordelia, she’s gone.” Myrtle knew. Of course she knew, how couldn’t she? Cordelia was like her own daugther, the woman wouldn’t be so obvious to let that slip of her mind. So why would she make things worse? “We have to keep going.”

They didn’t had to, Madison thought. Cordelia didn’t looked like she wanted, neither did Zoe. Madison recalled the image of Fiona in her head. The most powerful witch in the planet. She had the money, the power, people around her, everything Madison thought was necessary, but she didn’t had no one crying for her like Cordelia was crying over Misty’s ashes.

A few hours later, with Kyle’s hands around her neck, Madison thought about the irony of it all. She spent most of her life being teached to be like Fiona, to seek for control, to boss people around, to have power and fame, until she met Cordelia. Cordelia teached her about all the other stuff in life that her own mother never bothered to do and she showed her a way that Madison didn’t even knew it existed. Madison had everything to be different and in the end she was just like Fiona.

She wondered, just before her lung stoped fighting, if anyone was going to cry over her body.

She knew the true.

[waterloou]

Wait

[warheroics-blog]

crimes of grindelwald - a character by character spoilers review of my feels

see blow under read more

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Newt

what a precious, you are still off doing newt things and being adorable and getting into trouble but seriously boy you need to learn better communications skills, like really it shouldn’t be that hard to somehow get a letter to the girl you like that you couldn’t go see her and give her the book because THEY BANNED YOU FROM TRAVELING - my god newt, USE WORDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also...there’s no way that’s the first time you pretended to be theseus before...WHAT ELSE HAVE YOU BEEN DOING WHILE PRETENDING TO BE THESEUS? you are taking sibling rivalry to a whole new level there newton!

Tina

at least you and newt still make a cute adorable duo, but my god they seriously need to write a better plot for you to do, you basically just went from place to place and really did nothing this whole movie, HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE GAHHHHHHHH - tina, you deserve better

Jacob

you precious poor man, you totally didn’t ask for this drama, but at least you still got to enjoy the wonders of magic and creatures until grindelwald ruined everything like always, you and theseus are in the love-is-rough squad in this movie

Queenie

i don’t even know what to say other than QUEENIE GOLDSTEIN, HOW DARE YOU JOIN GRINDELWALD, YOUR SISTER AND YOUR LOVE AND YOUR FRIENDS NEARLY DIED AND IT’S ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT, IF YOU PUT ANOTHER TOE OUT OF LINE, WE’LL BRING YOU STRAIGHT HOME!

but seriously wtf queenie, wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf - i get that you’re afraid, i get that you love jacob and want to be with him, i totally get you feeling alone and judged but SERIOUSLY????? this man you’re suddenly all believing in ORDERED THE DEATH PENALTY ON YOUR SISTER WHILE IMPERSONATING YOUR BOSS/COLLEAGUE WHO MAY OR MAY NOT BE DEAD OR DYING???????? AND YOUR SISTER LITERALLY ALMOST DIED????? AND HE ESCAPED WHILE KILLING MULTIPLE OTHER PEOPLE? LIKE DID YOU HAVE FUCKING AMNESIA OR SOMETHING??????????????????????

Credence

after everything grindelwald put you through in the first movie, you literally still go with him????? you are second place behind queenie in the people-who-make-horrible-life-choices list

Leta

my badass lord and savior, it wasn’t your fault what happened to your brother, it’s okay, you were just a kid, you deserve so much better, you deserve to be happy with theseus and get married and have cute little babies and have the family that you always wanted with a man who adores and loves you wholeheartedly and whom you love wholeheartedly

I CANT BELIEVE THEY FRIDGED YOU BUT AT LEAST YOU WENT OUT LIKE A FUCKING BADASS

Theseus

all you wanted was to get married, have dinner with your brother, and people to listen to you when you tell them to do things and be careful - and you got none of those things, you poor bby

i’m so sorry you’re surrounded by people who don’t listen to you and inevitably ends up doing stupid things like STARTING A FUCKING WAR

i’m sorry you aren’t getting the wedding with the woman you love

i’m sorry that you spent the whole movie trying to be sensible while everyone was being moronic

but at least you got hugs from your brother, so....yay for hugs?

this movie should have been titled Theseus and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

it’s a miracle you didn’t have a complete breakdown

Nagini

man did they waste you in this movie, it was unnecessary, you deserved to be your own original badass character :(

Abernathy

you are an asshole and i hope you die, actually, i hope percival graves comes back and punches in the face and then you die

HOW DID NO ONE FROM MACUSA ASK WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GO???????????? FOR AN ENTIRE MOVIE??????

Dumbledore

you are so damn lucky that both scamander brothers like you enough to listen to you - and at least you had a good reason to not move against grindelwald BUT WTF IS THIS SHIT ABOUT A NEW RANDOM BROTHER?????? WHUT

Grindelwald

you spewed so much eyerolling bullshit my eye balls are about to roll out of their sockets and you’re a baby murderer so FUCK YOU

my only dream is that percival graves comes storming back into the fight and stabs you in the eye with his wand

Rosier

you are a bitch but a hot bitch with amazing lipstick game

Yusef

you are one dedicated fella, even though your story and connection to Leta as a half brother is just one weird ass convoluted thing but eh I guess Corvus Lestrange being an asshole is not that shocking tho really not necessary

but you’re a cool dude so pls stay for the next few movies bc there’s way too many white people

Picquery

seriously seraphina? first y’all don’t ask where percival is, and now abernathy goes poof for weeks and no one wonders????? IS MACUSA JUST TOTALLY COOL WITH PEOPLE DISAPPEARING ALL THE TIME??? IS THIS COMMONPLACE????? WTF SERAPHINA!!!

but thanks for just being a straight up savage cutting grindelwald’s tongue (even tho it technically wasn’t grindelwald)

Bunty

you adorable bby, what amazing contribution to cinema you give by suggesting that newt should take off his shirt :D

Flamel 

i love you, you precious old man, coming through at the last minute with the save! flamel ex machina!!!!