#BooksofInstagram

[iambrillyant]

“december, detach me from any dead roots and plant me in energy that breathes life into my intentions, unbind me from expired versions of myself and allow me to hold hands with growth. may i recognize what compromises my authenticity so i never fall out of alignment with my truth.”

— billy chapata

[quirkycatsfatstacks]

[wedarkacademia]

[bookstimesinfinity]

In the end, maybe love just meant longing for something impossibly bright and forever out of reach.

-Leigh Bardugo, Ruin and Rising

[coffeeacademia]

these are a few of my favourite things (ft summer)

[wordwanderlustsg]

This one star review of red white royal blue is taking me out 😭😭😭😭😭

Follow us on Instagram @wordwanderlust for more bookish (and rwrb) related content!

[booksandspilledwine]

Reasons why I could NEVER hate Eli King

-an extensive list

Let me just start off with this excerpt from one of Eli’s chapters:

‘As I watch her peaceful expression, I almost forget that I’m married to what’s societally known as a madwoman. Worse, she doesn’t even know it. And I’ll make sure it remains this way.’

He forced organizations and companies to invite Ava to play at their events or programs so that she could rediscover her lifelong passion: the cello.

Before her performance, he texts her knowing that she’s anxious and reassures her too. 

‘My wife is many infuriating things, but she’s undeniably beautiful.’

Like hello??? SWOON.

He avoided drinking and helped Ava with her alcoholism issues.

He distanced himself from Ava because he felt that his face was a trigger to her episodes

‘I’ll carve my name beneath her skin so deeply, she’ll find me in her dreams. And her nightmares.’

Eli, Chapter 25.

“Tell me you find me beautiful.” “I find you so extremely beautiful, it hurts to look at you sometimes.” “More beautiful than your ex-girlfriends?” “I’ve never had a girlfriend and even if I had, they wouldn’t hold a candle to you.”

He memorized the letter she had written in which she confessed her feelings for him. WORD FOR WORD.

He had OCD, yet he allowed her to mess up the order of his books.

He refrained from having s3x with her because he felt that she was not in the right state of mind to consent to it. He felt like he was taking advantage of her and he did not like that at all.

He left an important meeting just because Ava showed up at the office, without caring about the consequences or what his father would say.

He stabbed a man important to his project for suggesting that all he wanted in return for his investment was sleeping with Ava for a night. He stabbed a man. IN PUBLIC. 

“You’re lucky we’re in public or that knife would’ve been deep in your throat. Look at my wife again and I’ll gouge your eyes out.”

Yet another example of him not giving two shits about the consequences and problems he’d have to face.

“You’re my wife and those who don’t respect the fact will be dealt with accordingly.” 

He literally killed a man because he sexually assaulted Ava.

He didn’t let her drive because he anticipated that she would have a panic attack and it would also serve as a trigger.

“You never treated me as abnormal and I’m grateful. No, I’m beyond grateful.”

Ava to Eli, in chapter 29.

‘And I know- I just know I’ll fuck up everything for this woman.’

Oh Eli King, the man you are.

He keeps the night lamp on because he knew how much she hated sleeping in the dark. Now, this might not seem like a lot BUT IT’S ALWAYS THE LITTLE THINGS.

“Should we go to a West End show later?”

“You don’t even like the theater.”

“But you do.”

He took care of her after every episode, bathing her, cleaning her and putting her to sleep because he knew she was in no state to do so and she couldn't even differentiate what was real and what wasn't. He did all of this without ever complaining.

No matter the situation, he, and I cannot stress on this enough, ALWAYS put her needs before his. One example is the fact that he developed insomnia because he was worried that she would have an episode at night and he wouldn’t be able to help her. That literally shows how much he cares for Ava.

‘However, the more I find, the deeper I want to go. I’ve seen her hide from her best friends just so they won’t witness her at her worst. I’ve seen her smile and laugh while her eyes were screaming for help. I’ve seen her looking in the mirror and reciting her name, age, and her love for cello while seeming as if she were staring through herself.’

He noticed every small detail about her.

“I’d never despise her.”

“Even if she’s the reason you ruin the ambition you’ve harbored your entire life?”

“Even then.”

“You’ll be destructive without a purpose.”

“I have a purpose. It’s her.”

A conversation between Eli and Leo Henderson

In the beginning of the book, we see Ava repeatedly asking for a divorce and Eli shutting that down. However, the minute Ava threatens to kill herself, he agrees to a divorce and transfer of guardianship.

He didn't want to live in a world if Ava wasn't in it. He was ready to unalive himself if she had died in her fall down the stairs. 

‘I sacrificed my peace of mind for hers, and I realize now that I would do it again in a heartbeat if I ever got a redo. Because I care about her, more than I even realized. Since she waited years for me to come around. I can do the same. For as long as it takes.’

In chapter 41, Cecily gives a long explanation of Eli’s actions. If that doesn't convince you that he cares about her, I don't know what will.

Eli would visit her at the institute every night once the doctor allowed him to. He held her hand as he sat. He would read romance books to her even though he didn't like them at all. He came back night after night, even when it looked like he hadn't slept for days so much so that Cole himself was impressed.

He took care of her plants in case she ever thought of returning.

He never took off the watch she gifted him.

“The phoenix is you. You’re a beautiful mythical being who can be born from the ashes of your illness.” “And the tree of life?” “That’s me. I believed I could contain your rebirth, every time.”

SEE?? He loved her so much that he got a tattoo for her. Also I'm just a sucker for those phoenix metaphors.

‘She might have been the one who experienced issues with alcoholism, but my addiction to her is far worse. The only difference is that I don’t wish to ever become sober.’

An excerpt from the second epilogue.

EliAva are the perfect definition of ‘Action speaks louder than words.’ Saying that you couldn't feel the love between them is just straight up stupid. If you think they didn't have chemistry, then I just have one question for you. DID WE EVEN READ THE SAME BOOK?? If you think chemistry means chasing someone in the woods, taking advantage of you, forcing some random girl who's on the verge of offing herself to give you a bl0wj0b at the EGDE OF A CLIFF, no less, then I really don't know what to say. Am I saying Eli was a good man? No. Not at all. He wasn't perfect. Every Rina Kent MMC had their own issues and were problematic. People say they want complex characters but the minute a complex character is introduced, y'all waste no time hating on them. What Eli did barely even touched the surface, especially if we compare him to other RK men. Hate on him, Ava or the book all you want but don't tell me they didn't have chemistry or that Eli never cared about her when the entire book is a testament to the fact that he actually cared about Ava a lot.

[ozgidkt]

[smbooksandbooks]

Life sucks but at least I have my books.

[bookishpixiereads]

“Rough Pages” by Lev C. Rosen

⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️/5 Stars

Thanks to Tor Publishing Group/Forge Books for the eARC of this book. It dropped last week! All opinions are my own.

“Rough Pages” is the third book in the Evander Mills noir-ish, queer, historical fiction detective series set in 1950s San Francisco. Outside of the murderous plots, the series provides a well-researched look into how queer people lived during that time period. I adore this series. I already had pre-ordered this book before I even read the ARC and I never do that.  

Evander “Andy” Mills is a gay private detective for queer people who can’t go to the police because the police are not friendly to the LGBTQ community. He was a cop for the San Francisco Police Department before he was fired after they found out he was gay. 

A friend of Andy comes to him with a case. The two owners of a queer-friendly bookstore have gone missing. Along with selling queer books from a store front, they have a mail-order service where they mail queer books to subscribers. And the fear, along with the safety of the owners, is that the list of subscribers could fall into the wrong hands and at the worst, those people’s lives could be in danger and at best, they could become the object of blackmail. Also, at this point in history, mailing queer books is a federal crime.

And this list potentially puts people that Andy’s holds dear at great risk. And he wants to do everything he can to keep them and their newly adopted baby safe.

Were the bookstore owners arrested by the Feds? Was this a Mafia hit done out of fear of the possible outing of one of their own? Was there a crime at all and are they just on vacation?

Andy also has to deal with a reporter who is getting a little too close for comfort and his former boss, who is making implicit and explicit threats to Andy’s safety. And is his own romantic life falling apart?

“Rough Pages” comes during the current political climate of banning books. And it has beautiful things to say about representation in books, why books are dangerous (in a good way), and books as a whole.

What’s more important truth or secrets? Especially if the truth puts peoples’ lives in danger. 

[nickvorowriter]

[iambrillyant]

“some people won’t see you regardless of how clear a picture of yourself you paint, because their idea of you won’t allow them to see you as anything else than what makes them comfortable. their misunderstandings of you are not your responsibility to manage.”

— billy chapata

[quirkycatsfatstacks]

[heyykiwi]

HELPPPPPLEASE

I am looking for a book I read a while ago

It was about this girl who could know how the people would die just by touching them, so she always stayed away from everyone, and she meets this boy (obviously) and she doesn’t want to touch him because, you knowwww

I don’t remember if she sees his death or not when she touched him.

I also remember there is a car crash somewhere in the book, I think it was not a stand alone book, I think it had more books written

Plsss help me, I read this one back in 2014, maybe

[foreverstudentblog]

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I may never be able to read these words again without laughing.

[coffeeacademia]

i want to make life so achingly lovely that you could never bear to leave it