#Book of hours spoilers for mrs kille

[astraioskosmos]

Waking up on Numa has GOT to be one hell of a fucking trip. There's this thick dream like brume, people look more like imitations of people or shadows rather than themselves, letters jumble together into something impossible to read, some of the most notorious Long come out of the fog like out of thin air at your doorstep and you don't even remember anything of this all the next day.

I always wonder what becomes of the people of Brancrug during Numa. Does Denzil still work over his smithy, eyes glazed and movements not his own as if he were possessed by the Forge of Days itself, shaping and reshaping metal in patterns and shapes that come from deep within dreams? Does light still flood the Rector's vision even with his eyes closed, his skin almost translucent and shining with the strength of a Sun hidden behind the thick fog and long divided? Does Mr Kille lie still like the dead in his bed in silence, thinking of things dead but not quite, of the snow of winter and the lower heavens? Does he even breathe then? Does Mrs Kille sit and weave with blood red fabric to soothe the urges of the Grail, the urges of her bloodline, her needles clicking together like a rythmic drum beneath the Earth's skin?

[yuri-is-online]

Was Lilia more “Oh my thorn fairy I have another child?! I can barely cast a spell as of now and future me wants a fucking KID?! AT THAT AGE?!”

Or more of a

I HAVE ANOTHER SON?! AND IT’S FROM ME!?

If his Yutu tells him he comes from the future? Because it could imply he does regain his remaining years and magic. Idk how you wrote that problem that even rn it’s giving talk about Lilia surviving book 7 or not.

If it’s the second I already see him passing by Silver’s room really excited and saying “YOU HAVE A BROTHER!” And zooming off, leaving a very confused Silver and thinking he refers to either Malleus or Sebek.

technically anon asked first but this ask is much longer so it was awkward to screenshot for an answer. Here is the link the anon used for reference, I obligated as an elderly hater to let you know it's from SAO. Anon's idea is extremely good and we're going to roll with it for this Yutu's Uniqe Magic because you know he was always going to be a little shit.

notes: they/them used for Yuu, context on the fyuuture kid au can be found here and here. SPOILERS FOR: Book 7, Lilia's back story, and Silver's unique magic. Please engage with this in mind. For more fyuutre kid au, please check out the series section of my masterlist.

I have a bit of difficult time writing for Lilia given how much older he is than the rest of the cast, so I tend to write his Yuu as being a bit older themselves. Maybe they had an extremely difficult childhood and connected with Lilia over their shared sense of robbed innocence. Whatever it was I think this Yuu has a bit of a fascination with creatures of the night and a lot of their weirdo reputation within their community comes from kids telling each other that Yuu and Yutu are vampires. That makes me tempted to say Lilia! Yutu's real name is Alucard or Sebastian, something vaguely vampire themed.

None of those rumors are helped by Yutu finding himself very lethargic when out in the sunlight or his preference for colder temperatures. From his perspective he can't exactly help being who he is, people should really just get over themselves and let him do his thing. It's not his fault that bats really seem to like him for some reason, the neighbors are exaggerating Mr. Animal Control officer he swears.

Because he prefers to spend his awake hours in the dark, he is waaaaay too comfortable doing things and going places he shouldn't. He's real familiar with all the abandoned buildings and sketchy alleys of your town and has tagged quite a few of them. I like the idea of Lilia! Yutu being really interested in street art and Graffiti. I could see him putting up a bunch of bats everywhere and getting in a bunch of trouble for it. He has very fond memories of Yuu letting him paint murals on portions of their house in an effort to meet him halfway. He might like a good prank but unlike his father Yutu is always pulling his punches with Yuu.

Lilia didn't exactly have a supportive parent while he was growing up, something I feel like Yuu remembers and is very conscious of in their parenting of Yutu. Unfortunately for Lilia they also remember that he had another child and was a lot older than them, something Yutu raises several eyebrows at and causes him to ignore the things Yuu tries to tell him about his "great sense of humor" and "desire for different peoples to learn and grow with one another-" yeah that's great can you back up a bit to where you said he had another family? Yutu goes through life thinking he was the product of an affair Yuu had with a much older, married man who was just trying to feel young again. The amnesia stuff... sometimes he wonders if his dad tried to have Yuu killed. He never says it out loud because something tells him he's wrong, but gut feelings aren't as trustworthy as statistics...

So you can imagine his surprise when he tumbles out of a coffin and is told that his dad was a faerie general bound in service to a family of dragons, veteran of an ancient war, and technically the adoptive father of the Prince of the children of the night and the Prince of the rival human kingdom that killed his best friends. One of which is alive and overwhelmed with joy to meet him. Silver wanted Yutu almost as badly as Lilia and Yuu did so to see him alive and awkwardly squirming in his arms? Silver hasn't cried this much since they lost Lilia and Malleus.

Having a proper older brother, not just the concept, is an extreme change for Yutu. He's used to it just being him and Yuu, and he was sort of expecting Silver to hate him just for existing. Nothing could be further from the truth, Silver wants his younger brother to have the same freedoms he did while attending school but he also respectfully requests that Yutu spend at least some of his free time with him. He tried desperately to find his dreams over the years and was never able to make firm contact, but he doesn't want to pressure Yutu into caring about him. Yutu is didn't realize how badly he wanted other family members until he got to have Silver, he's even willing to take up sword fighting so they can get closer.

Sebek is also overwhelmed with tears upon seeing Lilia! Yutu. He is a bit harsh on him for "not living up to Master Lilia's legacy" because he doesn't know anything about fighting. He does applaud him for his willingness to learn. Yutu thinks Sebek is hilarious and messes with him just as much as Lilia does. Something Sebek is completely willing to let him do because it makes him feel like Lilia never left.

All of the Yutus get to see some of the photographs Yuu left behind, but Lilia! Yutu is especially interested in them. He makes a small photo album of all the ones he can find of his dad, especially ones where he's with Yuu and Silver. He's partially driven by guilt for thinking his father was a terrible person, but really he just wants to feel closer to him. He's half fae, and sure he has Sebek to talk about that with but what he really needs is a connection with his father. Yutu doesn't really care about being a faerie. He just cares about his dad's acceptance, everything else can go hang.

I don't have a name for his unique magic, but going off of anon's idea it allows him to overwhelm his target's mind, forcing them to think about their greatest fears to the point they are convinced they are really going through it. Someone hates spider? All over their face and in their clothes. Crippling fear of failure? Suddenly that emotion is all they can focus on. And if it's a mindless creature like a blot phantom or a monster they become overwhelmed with the sensation that they are unable to breathe and about to die. Yutu can't control the illusion the person experiences so usually he tries not to use it on his classmates.

That changes when he goes into the past. Some rando want to shit talk Yuu? Nightmare. Macho NRC guy wants to rumble? Nightmare. Some random guy jumped out from behind him and yells "BOO!" Nightma-

If Yutu had been just a hair slower he would have been in extreme pain, the dangerous glint in those familiar ruby eyes scream that. The short fae smiles almost cruelly, advancing on him clearly upset even though Yutu has dropped the spell.

"Well now, that's no way to great a senior." Lilia's voice is strangely soothing, it occurs to Yutu that this is probably the first time his father has ever been angry at him and he can't help himself. He laughs,

"Yeah sorry about that." He makes sure to try and be cute about it, which helps to diffuse the tension some what. "You really scared me so it was all I could think to do."

Lilia is very impressed by Yutu's reflexes and control over his unique magic. He is even further impressed by how eager Yutu is to train with Silver. The kid has some real promise and fits into Silver and Sebek's dynamic better than Lilia could have dreamed of. He really hopes the two will benefit from having a relatively normal human friend their age to train with. Maybe he and Yuu will stick around and give him some piece of mind about the kids being in good hands when he's gone.

Yutu hanging around Diasomnia gives him an excuse to chat with Yuu more, not that he exactly needed it. Lilia sort of hates the way he's drawn to you, it feels unfair. Unfair to you to give you hope there could be something more and toy with your affections; unfair to him for life to finally allow him to realize what romantic love is like just in time to have to let it go. There is a bittersweet tone to all of your interactions that his housemates are a bit too socially awkward to pick up on but Cater does.

Yutu is surprised how much he likes Cater, he associates him with a terrifying monster he's had to fight multiple times, not a fun guy who is really determined to help his parents get together. And what's even better he's really chill when Yutu asks for stories about Lilia, he has a lot of them and a completely different perspective than his older brother allowing Yutu to glean some more insight to what his parents might have been thinking in the future.

He finds himself spending a lot of time with the pop music club, not as an official member though he's not great at carrying a tune. Kalim, Cater, and Lilia are glad to have another person to chill with, sometimes they'll play music and Yutu will draw something based off whatever noise they made. Cater wants to talk him into doing album art for them... you know if they ever get around to making a recording.

I think Yutu will only tell Lilia who he is if he has no choice. He wants to mess with the timeline as little as possible, but should a monster from his timeline appear in this one, say like an overblotted Yuu another asker was so nice as to bring up, well it's not like he says who he is. He just addresses the monster as his parent and has a very loud meltdown not wanting to fight them again. Something Malleus is more than willing to assist him with.

"Think nothing of it." Malleus's power is truly terrifying, Yutu is torn between sorrow that he wasn't on their side and relief he didn't overblot a second time. "You are Lilia's son yes? That makes you my subject, and a most precious one at that." Not that Yutu has avoided interacting with Malleus exactly, he's just found talking to him exceptionally awkward because well. He's not Yuu, he's very aware of how important Malleus is supposed to be. But the way he's looking at him now makes him think that maybe he was missing out on interacting with another older brother.

Something that's confirmed when he turns to see how big his father's eyes have gotten, the man is shaking as he stares at his face and flicks between him, Malleus, and Silver like he's staring at the most precious pieces of art in the whole universe.

As you brought up Lilia's survival isn't guaranteed, I did not solve that problem at all. I sort of just... wrote that Lilia would age more or less like a normal human and not really be able to use magic on par with what a fae would consider normal but would still be impressive to a human... so while Lilia might be a bit reluctant to show his face in Briar Valley he would still have enough years to have and raise Yutu. He might have actually died around the same time as Yuu if they had lived a normal life.

He is overwhelmingly excited at the thought of having another baby. Lilia might not know what to do with them but he does really like kids. What's harder for him to accept is his relationship with Yuu. Raising a child is something he's done before, being someone's long term partner is not. He is unused to feeling desirable, and unfamiliar with acting on his own desires. Sure Lilia might seem very free spirited, but much of his life has been dictated by a sense of duty. The thought of having something precious to him that chose him specifically of their own free will is... disarming. He's overwhelmed with how helpless you make him feel and how little he despises it.

Yutu's need to be accepted by his father is met and exceeded almost immediately. Lilia wants to cook a big family dinner for Yuu and all of his boys, something that Malleus politely rejects asking if he can instead show his Culinary Crucible skills off to Yutu (it's really so he can make babiest brother promise to never eat anything Paw Paw makes EVER) and it's all so normal Yutu almost forgets that he's listening to a practical god smugly tell him he knows all about edible weeds as his father flies around him cracking jokes and pinching his cheeks. His older brother is asleep on the couch waiting for the food to be done and his precious parent is helping his Uncle Sebek set the table, listening to him sniffle about how beautiful Master Lilia's family is.

Lilia might be practically retired, but his mind is still sharp. The information Yutu is able to pass on to him lands in good hands. When he tucks Yutu into bed that night, long after the boy has gone to sleep so as not to embarrass him he makes sure to take a good long look at the little miracle. He is beyond grateful Yutu exists, not even the Thorn Fairy could have given him a finer blessing (he'll have to make sure to tease you about that later, that's got to be a good pick up line) He will make sure that this risk his son has taken pays off, Lilia Vanrouge wasn't feared for no reason. Something it seems some foolish mortals need reminding of.

[multific]

I Noticed

Vincent de Gramont x Reader

Warnings: Mention of injury and violence, John Wick 4 spoilers

Summary: Being his sugar baby was one thing, but being in love with him was completely different.

A/N: This is a continuation of a headcanon I posted recently. Enjoy!

You couldn't believe it.

You could only look at him and now you noticed it more and more. His actions were a lot softer than in the beginning.

You recalled him spending hours at the bar, flirting with you or just looking at you, as if you were his prey, and you truly thought you were. 

But now, as you watched him wearing nothing but his boxers, he slowly walked over to the bed, he was looking at his phone, scrolling as he hummed, satisfied with what he was seeing.

Before he looked up you laid down and turned on your side, your back to him.

You lay in silence as he joined you in bed.

You heard him put his phone on the nightstand as he turned the lights off.

He soon joined you in the big bad and as if it was so natural, put his arm around you, with his palm against your stomach he pulled you towards him.

His arm stayed as you felt his hot breath hit your neck.

"Good night." he whispered with that beautiful accent as he got more relaxed and soon, fell asleep.

But you couldn't. Your mind kept racing and you didn't know anymore what to think.

You could recall when he wanted you to move in with him, in the beginning, you had your own room, you still do, but only your clothes are there.

Almost eight months ago, he asked you to join his room as he wanted you close for 'When he needed you'. But even sex wasn't as big of a part of your relationship anymore as it used to be.

And even during sex, he became more gentle. While he used to be rather rough and demanding, now he was more gentle and soft.

Was he getting tired of you?

No, with his sadistic ways, you would be either dead or long gone.

If he wanted you gone, you would be gone. And yet, here he was holding you close to his chest as he slept.

Now, you noticed the small things. You recalled the small things.

Maybe and just maybe Mrs Ghandram wasn't lying. Maybe but just maybe Vincent was in love with you.

You nearly laughed out loud.

No fucking way.

Vincent? Vincent de Gramont? In love? With you?

PFFF.

No. 

Probably he just got used to having you around, or the fact that he was employed to kill John Wick kept his mind busy. 

Yes. It was possibly John Wick.

---

"No! PLEASE!" You ran in front of Vincent as John held the gun, pointing at his head. "Don't kill him."

"Step away." said John. "MOVE!" he yelled but you didn't, you just shielded Vincent.

"You can't kill him. I'm pregnant." you could tell John was taken aback by your statement. Of course, you were lying but you were willing to if it meant saving Vincent's life. John moved the gun again, motioning for you to move but you didn't. "You wouldn't kill a pregnant woman, would you?"

"I will kill him."

"No, you won't. Judging by your wounds you should slowly lose consciousness, Mr Baba Yaga." just as you said that John's hand started to shake. "You are free. Go now." you said as John collapsed in front of you. You grabbed the gun and threw it away. 

"Look at that. My Kitten is actually pretty smart." you quickly turned around to look at him. He was bleeding from various wounds and you could tell he too, was about to faint, but thankfully not die.

The next time he woke up he was in a hospital room. A room he was probably too familiar with. 

You sat right next to him in an armchair, reading a book. 

"Kitten." he said with a quiet voice as he reached out to you, you moved closer, placing your hand in his. "Smart little girl you are. Telling him you were pregnant so he would bleed out. You saved me."

"I did what your two hunks of meat couldn't do." you said simply before you turned back to your book.

"What are you reading?"

"Harry Potter." he groaned, knowing how much you liked the books and the movies. "You should rest, Vincent, you need to heal."

"When did you stop calling me Daddy?"

"Three months ago, you never noticed?"

"No."

"But you notice everything."

"I noticed that you were in love with me." your head snapped at him as you locked eyes. "But you never noticed that I was in love for longer."

He fell first, but you fell harder.

"You should still rest." his hand squeezed yours.

"You have no idea how much power you hold, do you? I would burn the entire world down for you. I would go on a bigger rampage than the Baba Yaga himself, just for you to smile at me."

"Why are you saying this?"

"Because when you put yourself in between me and a gun, a gun that was held by John Wick, I wanted to push you away. I needed you safe. I rather die than have you killed."

"I saw your men dead, and while I do know you are trained, I couldn't... I needed to save you."

"You saved me a year and a half ago, mon amour." you wanted to laugh if it wasn't for the serious look in his eyes. 

"Tell me please that you are lying. Tell me that this is one of your cruel plays. I can still forget it, I can still let go of the hope. Please, do not play with me like this."

"I'm not playing, Princess. I am very serious. I do love you. Did you really not notice?"

"No. It was difficult, trying to push my feelings down and hide them from you while trying not to feel guilty and bad about everything." 

"You hid it very badly. Your eyes said it all. At first, I thought you liked my money, but then I found out you don't even spend it. You gave a lot to charities. To the dog shelter and the kid's hospital."

"Yeah, I thought they needed it more than I do."

"So, you never wanted my money, then it got me thinking, were you in it for the sex? Or were you just a spy to creep on me? But no. It was a shock but one evening, when I was in my office and you came in with... muffins... fucking muffins. I realized that you truly care for me. Really good muffins by the way." you smiled. "There she is. The smile I would kill for. Never stop smiling."

"Never stop giving me a reason to smile." he lifted your arm to his lips and he kissed the back of it.

"Kitten, I hope now you realize just how much you mean to me."

"I think, I always knew, deep down I must have, but I couldn't hope. The chance of you playing with me or that I was just simply stupid was too big, I couldn't risk that." you noticed how he flinched at the word stupid.

"The woman who plays the Baba Yaga himself is not stupid. Mon amour, I hope you know I stopped looking at you as my sugar baby for a long time now. You have to know that I am truthful." looking into his eyes, you could tell he wasn't lying.

"I know and we will talk about this after you heal, Vincent. Sleep please. I'll be right here." his hand squeezed yours one last time before he allowed himself to fall asleep. 

You watched him sleep for a couple minutes.

"Stop staring." he said without opening his eyes. 

"I'm not!"

"Don't lie to me, Kitten." 

He slightly moved, now both of his hands holding yours as he fell asleep. You smiled before you returned to your book.

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~Masterlist~

ˇAO3ˇ

DO NOT STEAL, PLAGIARISE, REPOST OR TRANSLATE ANY OF MY WORKS

[385bookreviews]

2.279 Compound Fracture by Andrew Joseph White

SPOILERS

Pages: 368

Time Read: 4 hours and 43 minutes

Overall Rating: 5★ Storyline: 5★ Dialogue: 5★ Characters: 5★

Genre: YA Thriller

TWs for the book: Violence, gun violence, gore, injury IN DETAIL, murder, blood, transphobia, outing, deadnaming, F slur, police brutality, death, fire/fire injury, animal death, animal cruelty, body horror, classism, hate crimes, medical content, addiction, drug withdrawal, child death, grief, vomit, car accident, death of a parent, bullying, homophobia, torture, physical abuse, cursing, toxic relationship, toxic friendships, alcohol, mental illness, ableism, panic attacks, dysphoria, child abuse, emotional abuse, gaslighting and manipulation, s*xual harassment, chronic illness, misogyny, body shaming, kidnapping, p*d*philia

POV: First Person

Time Period/Location: Twist Creek County, West Virginia in 2017.

First Line: When the sheriff of Twist Creek County--and all those other sons of bitches, the Baldwin-Felts agents and bloodthirsty strikebreakers--finally caught my great-great-grandfather and dragged his ass up from the mine to make a spectacle of his execution, they killed him by hammering a railroad spike through his mouth.

Transgender socialist Miles Abernathy lives in Twist Creek County, West Virginia. His great-great-grandfather, Saint Abernathy, led a strike against the coal mine companies and tortured the sheriff's son for leverage. When he was caught, the sheriff executed him by driving a railroad spike through his mouth. This started a blood feud between the Davies family and the Abernathy family. Having just completed his junior year of high school, Miles sneaks out to go to the graduating party in the woods. But he hates social events, and he isn't going to celebrate. He meets up with his childhood friend Cooper O'Brien. Miles stole pictures that his dad took the night of the accident that killed Mrs. O'Brien that incriminate Sheriff Davies as being the one that ran them off the road. Cooper takes them and agrees to show his dad to maybe finally bring the Sheriff to justice. While they are talking, Noah Davies, the sheriff's son, and his two friends Eddie and Paul come to interrogate them about what they're doing. They lie, and Miles starts to walk home through the woods. Noah, Eddie, and Paul catch up with him though, and take a video of them beating and torturing Miles almost to death. Cooper finds Miles and brings him to the hospital. When he wakes up in the hospital, he sees the ghost of a coal miner shaking him awake. He has extensive injuries and experienced massive internal bleeding that caused him to need surgery.

Before he had departed for the party, Miles had sent an email to both of his parents coming out as trans. He brings it up to his mom, but she doesn't take it very well and doesn't want to discuss it. Sheriff Davies comes in while Miles' mom is out of the room, and threatens Miles into staying quiet about Noah and his friends beating him up. Miles tells him that with his head injury, he doesn't remember what happened. Miles eventually goes home and begins his recovery, periodically still seeing the mute ghost of the coal miner. Cooper checks up on him and their friendship begins to return, Miles even coming out to him as trans. Miles does get stir crazy and refuses to let the attack haunt him, so he goes to pick up his check from the restaurant where he works as a dishwasher. His boss tells him that he has the whole summer off and gives him extra money, saying she has temporarily hired someone to take his place, but just for the summer. Miles walks out the back door, and contemplates going back in to return the extra money, when Eddie walks out the door and reveals himself to be Miles' replacement for the summer. They get in an altercation, Miles breaking Eddie's nose and trying to threaten him to delete the video of his attack. Eddie is afraid at first, but realizes he has the upper hand with his connection to Noah and Sheriff Davies. This angers Miles further, and he tries to reach for Eddie to hit him, but Eddie backs away, slips on the gravel, and hits his head, which kills him instantly. Miles is mortified, but knows what Sheriff Davies will do to him and his family if the accident is discovered, so he drags Eddie's bodies behind the dumpsters and calls Cooper. Cooper comes immediately and helps Miles clean up the scene and they take the body. They dump Eddie's body down the old mineshaft where no one will ever go looking because of the structural instability. They then go back to Cooper's house where Miles takes a shower and Cooper helps him shave his head so his hair is more even after the head wound stitches. Cooper and Miles share a somewhat tender moment, and when Cooper leans in to kiss him, he reciprocates, logically deducing he must have a crush on Cooper because that's what he's supposed to do. After they kiss, Cooper says, "We've already killed one of them. What's a few more?" Miles is disgusted and angered by this notion and they fight before Miles leaves and goes home.

Soon after, Miles realizes that he has become reliant upon the opioids he was prescribed in the hospital, just like Mr. O'Brien is and like his father used to be. He quits cold turkey and spends time going through withdrawals. During which he finally is able to go out and see the ghost without him disappearing. After looking through old pictures he realizes that the ghost is Saint Abernathy, and he can't speak because of the railroad spike down his throat. Saint reveals to Miles that he was also trans, and leads him and his dog Lady to the burned down movie theatre where he was executed, and hands Miles a railroad spike. Miles then takes this as a sign to fight for his family and get his revenge, and texts Cooper that he's willing to move forward with the murders. He goes home, but his dad is awake. His dad begins to make an effort to use his new name and pronouns, and Miles is forced to confess his opioid withdrawal. The next morning, his mother is enraged that Miles didn't say anything about the drugs, and demands he has to start going to therapy. Miles refuses, and they argue until Sheriff Davies shows up to inquire about Eddie. They tell him they know nothing, and then Sheriff Davies asks where Miles is going to go to therapy once he sees the brochures. Miles chooses one at random, and once the sheriff leaves, his mom tells him that he is going.

The next day, his mom drops him off at a church for group therapy. He leaves halfway through out of anxiety and goes into the alley next door. A person comes out of the door to a restaurant, and Miles doesn't recognize them, but the person, Dallas, does. Dallas is their old friend from before the accident. When Mr. and Mrs. O'Brien, Miles' father, and Dallas were run off the road by Sheriff Davies, Dallas sustained a lot of burns and injuries, and Dallas' parents blamed Miles' father and family. They moved away and had no contact, but Dallas is back, living with their brother and his wife Amber, who is autistic. Dallas' brother and Amber have their own restaurant/bar that is entirely socialist and run by the workers, right under Sheriff Davies nose. Miles is glad to see his friend again, and also talk to another trans person, but is scared to be seen in the bar. Dallas says that on the Fourth of July, the biggest holiday in town, they would be throwing a "Fuck the Fourth" party to counteract it and call out Sheriff Davies. Miles rejects the invitation, but him and Dallas swap phone numbers, and he gives them Cooper's number.

Miles and Cooper meet up to plan the murders, deciding to use Miles' father's gun to shoot Paul on the Fourth of July when his parents are out of town. While they are talking in Cooper's convenience store, Paul and Noah turn up to harass them, further settling their decision. Miles spends the night with Cooper and they get drunk and make out. Miles then decides to also make a difference in another way, and goes back to the bar to speak with Amber. Amber tells him they are going to be handing out pamphlets with evidence of Sheriff Davies' and the police departments' corruption. Miles gives them copies of the pictures he gave to Cooper.

The night before the Fourth of July party that the Davies plan and throw every year, Cooper and Miles took the gun and drove up to Paul's house. The plan is for Cooper to shoot him, and then they would clean up and dump his body in the mineshaft like they did with Eddie. They arrive, and find Paul in his father's processing plant in the garage, skinning a dear. He says he knew that they had killed Eddie the whole time but that Noah didn't believe him, and he tells them to get it over with. Cooper chickens out and lowers the gun. Miles and Paul talk, and Paul talks about how he really doesn't have it any better than the Abernathy's. Sheriff Davies bought out his parents' land and makes them pay rent to him, and takes most of their wages, and Noah had threatened to kill Paul because Paul said he wanted to leave town. Miles feels for Paul, and agrees to spare his life and just make it look like they killed him if Paul leaves town that night. Paul agrees, looking relieved, and asks to grab some stuff, when Cooper regains his nerve and shoots Paul in the jaw, removing the entire lower half of his face. Miles is appalled, and Cooper insists that they leave Paul to bleed out on the floor. They run, but on the drive back Miles makes Cooper pull over so he can throw up. They fight about Cooper shooting Paul like that, and Miles trying to let Paul leave. Cooper becomes more and more deranged, shaking Miles and deadnaming him. Miles tells him to leave him there as he was going to have Dallas pick him up. Cooper leaves and Dallas and Amber race to come pick him up, not knowing what's wrong. Miles goes nonverbal and begins having a meltdown. When he gets to their house, he wants to shower but dreads the prospect of the sensory experience. Amber gives him some things to help and tells him he might be autistic like her. He spends the night in Dallas' bed with them, but Cooper keeps blowing up his phone, demanding to speak with him and leave Dallas' house so he can come get him, worried that Miles will snitch.

In the morning, Amber and Dallas take Miles home, and he returns the gun to the safe. Later in the day his family comes to the house to prepare to go to the Fourth of July party together. Cooper comes in, saying he is Miles' boyfriend, and quietly threatens Miles to keep his mouth shut. They walk to the party, where Dallas and Amber are handing out pamphlets with evidence of Sheriff Davies' crimes and advertising the Fuck the Fourth gathering. Cooper sees the pictures on the pamphlet and is enraged, and Miles' dog Lady has to come between them. He leaves, and Noah and Sheriff Davies get up on stage and announce Paul's death. Then they announce that they'll be giving out a citizen award to Miles, since he bravely recovered from a hate crime and for being a pillar to the transgender community. This outs Miles to the entire town and also to his grandparents, aunt, and uncle. They all quickly leave the party after telling Dallas to go home now. Once they arrive back home, their aunt and uncle are enraged and leave. Miles' grandparents, however, accept him and are enraged on his behalf. They discuss what they should do, and they decide that it's time to fight back, and go to the Fuck the Fourth gathering. They do the next day, and while his mother and father discuss what to do with Amber and her husband, Dallas and Miles enjoy the punk band performing, talk about trans issues and about Miles potentially being autistic and aromantic, and marvel at the fact that so many of the towns people showed up. A girl who's father was imprisoned by Sheriff Davies and a mother who's son was killed by him share their stories, and Miles decides to be brave and stand up on stage, showing off his still disfigured face and head and tells everyone finally that Noah Davies and his friends did this to him and that the sheriff threatened him and his family in order to cover it up. At that exact moment, Sheriff Davies walks in and starts demanding that people leave. Amber refuses and demands he leave, and Miles' mother and father start ushering him and Dallas towards the back door. Finally, Amber throws water in his face, and he pulls out his gun and shoots her. The crowd turns into a riot, and Miles' mother shoves him and Dallas into the kitchen and locks the door. They contemplate what happened to Amber and how to get back in, but then Noah enters, covered in blood, and lights a Molotov cocktail, setting the place ablaze. Miles and Dallas run outside, where people have finally started to come out, including his mother and father, Amber's husband, and Amber, who was shot in the shoulder. They drive back to their house separately. When Dallas, Miles, and his father arrive back at their house, they find Cooper's body, cracked open and gutted on their porch. The rest of them arrive, they call Miles' grandparents, and Mr. O'Brien to see the body of his son. Miles' mom takes care of Amber's shoulder, and Miles fesses up to him and Cooper killing Eddie and Paul. No one is really surprised, as the Davies and Abernathy's had been killing each other for years. They decide that enough is enough, and when Noah texts Miles to end this permanently by meeting him alone, they decide for them to meet in the abandoned mineshaft. They plan for Miles to trap Noah, and then use him as a negotiation tool to convince Sheriff Davies to leave town.

Miles goes down into the mineshaft with the gun. Noah meets him there and taunts him, saying that they'll leave his family alone forever if he agrees to go with him and his dad. He also tells Miles about how he tortured Cooper, gutted him like a deer while he was still alive, and Cooper confessed everything. Miles lets off a warning shot, and Noah attacks him. They fight, and Noah gets the gun, but Miles pulls a knife out and kills him with a stab to the neck. He leaves the mineshaft and tries desperately to call his family, but is then shot in the head by Sheriff Davies, taking out his eye. The Sheriff kidnaps him, and takes him to the abandoned movie theatre to hammer a railroad spike into his mouth, just like his ancestor did to Saint. Saint manifests in front of Sheriff Davies to distract him, just as Miles' family shows up, and Lady attacks the sheriff, ripping chunks out of him. By the time they recall Lady, the sheriff is dying, so Miles' grandpa shoots him in the head. The rest of the town witnesses it, but they all grab shovels and tarps to help them bury the body and hide the evidence.

Time skips forwards a bit to the town holding a meeting to decide what to do to ensure the corruption of the town ends. Miles is missing an eye now, and him and Dallas are in a queer platonic relationship. A state trooper shows up, but everyone at the meeting clams up and refuses to give any answers about Sheriff Davies.

Miles Abernathy (Sadie Abernathy): I love Andrew Joseph White's protagonists because they always feel so real. I, of course, connected with Miles due to his autism, but also due to his humanness in general. He's no where near perfect, making mistakes and even plotting murder, but he's also just a kid, doing his best in a near impossible situation. I also appreciate him showing different presentations of autism with his characters, between Nick in Hell Followed With Us, Silas and the gardener in The Spirit Bares Its Teeth, and Miles and Amber in Compound Fracture, you get different perspectives of people that live with the same thing, and for me as an autistic person, I am able to see different aspects of myself represented in each character. This also applies with Benji from Hell Followed With Us, Silas and Daphne from The Spirit Bares Its Teeth, and Miles and Dallas from Compound Fracture in how they all view their trans-ness differently and have different journeys with it.

Cooper O'Brien: I really wasn't expecting at first for Cooper's character to become so twisted, but you watched him spiral into a sort of madness in real time with Miles. He became wildly unpredictable, and anticipating his actions was a source of anxiety while reading (in a good, thriller kind of way). You almost became just as scared of Cooper as you did of Noah and the sheriff by the end.

Storyline: I finished this book in one sitting, staying up WAY past my bedtime because I just needed to know what happened. The plot kept you on your toes the entire time, even in the calm moments, because you had no clue when some kind of chaos or calamity was about to descend. The plot twists were genuinely brutal, especially with the vivid descriptions of the gore these teenagers were inflicting upon each other. The sheriff was written to be especially enraging and evil, a well done villain. You feel the characters' rage alongside them as the story progresses.

Representation: Miles is autistic, aromantic, and transgender (FtM), and ends up in a queer platonic relationship with Dallas at the end. He is also left disfigured in the face and head after the attack, and later on completely blinded in one eye when he is shot by the sheriff. Dallas is a burn survivor, and is disfigured because of it. They also are plus sized, have ADHD, and are queer and nonbinary. It is undetermined if Cooper is queer, or if he just sees Miles as a girl despite him coming out. Amber has autism. Miles' boss is described as visibly queer, but nothing is specified or confirmed. Miles' great-great-grandfather Saint Abernathy is trans and gay. Miles describes there being several queer people at his school, including a he/they lesbian, a queer girl, and a gay boy. One of the musicians in the punk band is a trans woman. Miles, his father, and Mr. O'Brien all struggle with opioid addiction.

Summary: Once again, Andrew Joseph White has written a masterpiece. His books have the incredible ability to suck you right into the story, making you feel like you're there and experiencing these events with the characters, and, for fellow trans and autistic people, at times it can even feel like you're the protagonist yourself. No characters are overlooked, and it feels like everyone in the story grows and develops, not just the protagonist.

Quotes: "...parents seem obsessed with performing their grief about a child's transition."-Miles Abernathy (p.66) "We've already killed one of them. What's a few more?"-Cooper O'Brien (p.102) "It's like everyone knows there's something off about me, and they don't like it, and they don't quite know what to do about it."-Miles Abernathy (p.149) "I wish Cooper had gotten to know the version of me that's going to exist one day."-Miles Abernathy (p.333)

[shih-coulda-had-it]

FEBUWHUMP | NOT ALLOWED TO DIE | WC: 695

a/n: speculative ficlet on the end of bnha. manga spoilers.

//

His whole body ached. This was nothing new to Tomura, who had been plagued with an awareness of bodily discomfort since he was conscious enough to register it, but unlike before, there was no way he could relieve himself of the pain.

He could not lift a limb; he could barely turn his head.

Beside him on the torn-up battlefield, Midoriya wheezed and wept dry, rasping sobs. He looked even more of a mess than Tomura, and the insides of Tomura were still churning with the stupid, indigestible truth that deep down, he was a pitiful child wanting to be saved. The ghosts had been ruthless in their excavation.

“Shut up,” Tomura managed, and his lips curled weakly to bare his teeth. “Just--would you shut the hell up and kill me already?”

Midoriya twitched. Unlike Tomura, Midoriya was laid-out flat on his back, face turned to the sky and all four limbs stretched out like a butterfly pinned to a corkboard. The kid didn’t even bother twisting his neck. He just side-eyed Tomura with unwarranted incredulity.

“A hero wouldn’t hesitate. Not after all I’ve done.”

“What do you think I’ve been trying to do,” Midoriya said, unsteadily, “for the past hour?”

“You’re trying to be the good guy. ‘There’s always someone to save.’ Ugh.”

The doctor had subjected him to intense electric shocks, conditioning his body before the transfer of All for One, and the Quirk still hadn’t integrated peacefully. Star and Stripes tried to smother him in the ocean and obliterate him altogether. In neither of these cases did Tomura cry.

Tears were beading up now, threatening to spill over and soak the ground. Tomura crooked his fingers against the dirt, seeking Decay in the fiery ruins of his veins, and tasting blood when all he turned up was more pain.

“I can’t do this,” he gasped. “I can’t look at--at all their stupid faces--and listen to them tell me that I was wrong--”

Unbelievably, Midoriya wrenched himself to the side and reached over to grab a fistful of Tomura’s hair. He said, “You don’t get to die.” He sounded like a hero; he sounded like a maniac who would see Tomura thrown into some asylum for ‘recovery’ when all it would really be was an indefinite term of drugged incarceration. “One for All didn’t go away so you could die. I told them I’d save you, and I will.”

“You and what Quirk?! You think you count for anything now? Even All Might’s word doesn’t mean shit!”

“You’re Quirkless too, now!” Midoriya fired back.

Tomura clenched his jaw. Maybe if he ate enough dirt, he’d throw up, choke on his own vomit, and die before any medical assistance reached them. Like being unable to use a Quirk mattered to the terrified, paranoid judicial system. He’d dusted both of Overhaul’s arms up to the elbows and they booked him in Tartarus anyway.

“I won’t let you disappear,” the boy swore.

“Moron,” Tomura spat. “I’m telling you over and over again, it doesn’t matter what the hell you want. You’re gonna stand against the heroes when they drag me to prison? You’re gonna ask them to go easy on me with the sentencing? It’d be more merciful to just kill me!”

Midoriya yanked on Tomura’s hair, and Tomura wailed a long, despairing cry into the dirt. Would anyone else help him? Dabi--useless. Toga--useless. Spinner--gone. Mr. Compress--imprisoned. All Tomura had left was Midoriya, and he hated Midoriya, but not enough to suppress Tenko’s needy want for a friend. 

“If they take you, I’ll find you. I’ll ask All Might to find a safehouse in the country. I’ll make sure you have dogs to take care of.” Midoriya released Tomura and rolled himself completely to his stomach. His eyes were red-rimmed but dry. Exhaustion weighed on him as heavily as the hurt did on Tomura. “Don’t you want to live?”

This was the final straw, amidst the many final straws that had edged their fight further and further in Midoriya’s favor. Tomura had no desire to voice Tenko’s want, so he scrunched his wet eyes shut and screamed into the shattered earth.

Next to him, Midoriya waited.

[sailforvalinor]

(Warning, this review is not spoiler-free)

- I am OBSESSED with Alexei and Zizi. Oh my word, that subplot was so delightful. Alexei getting ticked over the soldiers flirting with Zizi and Clara telling him that maybe he should do something about that??? That KISS???? HELLO???

- ALL the brownie points for writing fun, witty banter between love interests without making it unnecessarily sarcastic or mean.

- Clara “I stand with my cancelled emperor” Stahlbaum, we love you.

- Wallwork really understands how to write an 18 year old boy. Does he have the maturity to lead an army and save his kingdom? Yes! Does he get jealous of a guy in a picture because his crush that he met six hours ago is wearing a locket with said picture inside? Also yes.

- Wallwork really understands how to give characters idiosyncrasies without drawing too much attention to them—for example, Nikolai repeats himself a lot when he gets nervous, but Wallwork never feels the need to put in a line like “Clara noticed he repeated himself when he got nervous.” It’s a small thing, but I really appreciated it.

- Clara and Nikolai’s interpersonal conflict was wonderful—when they argued, it felt completely warranted and true to their characters, it was never unnecessarily drawn-out for drama, and it was always very relevant to the plot. 10/10.

- On the topic of conflict, in any other book, the male love interest’s reaction to Clara telling them about her “love” for Johann would’ve probably been something along the lines of quiet acquiescence while internally dying on the inside—but no, Nikolai actually has the guts and integrity to tell her “uh, that’s stupid.” A little tactless, maybe, but he’s absolutely right, and it was what she needed to hear in that moment, even if she didn’t like it at the time. It’s giving Mr. Knightley in the best way possible.

- Erik makes for a fantastic villain, especially when you realize at the end that he has Nikolai in what appears to be a perfect catch-22–if Nikolai fails in stopping him, he’s not fit to be emperor, but if Nikolai murders him, he’s also not fit to be emperor. Unfortunately for him, he didn’t account for the fairies deciding to kill two birds with one stone by getting the one who can reverse Erik’s magic and Nikolai’s future wife. Eucatastrophe!

- Nikolai and Clara are just so cute, okay. And the way she falls for him because of his goodness! *chef’s kiss* Also, Nikolai’s reaction to Clara telling him she adores him is “Really? Well! Well! Well, good.” HA

[readordiebyemilyt]

Here's the next round of scary movies I've enjoyed this October:

Return of the Living Dead: I'd never seen this one before: it was at the Last Picture House last weekend, and I had a lot of fun. The punks were great, the zombies were scary (and looked fantastic), and Clu Gulager was, to my surprise, a serviceable action hero. (Also, I like a deus ex machina when it's exactly what the military industrial complex would do to "solve" a problem.)

Ju-On: It's been a long time since I first saw this movie, and I'd forgotten how it plays with time: each section focuses on a different character, and how they're cursed in different ways. Rika's story bookends the film, and even her eventual understanding of what happened in the house can't save her, but it's a haunting journey.

Killer Fish: The MST3K version of this features a great song, Crow as a killer fish, and, you guessed it, piranhas eating people.

Halloween: I watched this with Rifftrax, as I do most years: it was the first movie at the Dusk Till Dawn event at the drive-in on Saturday. There are so many sequels, and at least three continuities I can think of. (Four?) But this one is the first, and it's still the best.

Halloween II: I'll be honest, I tuned out for parts of this one, mainly because I wanted to finish an audiobook. It has its moments, and the use of Mr. Sandman is a great musical leitmotif, and we start to get into the druid stuff that comes up in movies 4, 5, and 6. Probably the scariest thing is the fact that most of the hospital staff act like horny teens, which they're of course standing in for for the sake of the plot.

Christine: Another first time watch for me: the fact that the cursed car Christine has, in 1983, what look to be LED headlights that she uses to blind her victims further proves the evil of that invention.

The Shining: Again, there are parts of this movie that I just sort of tune out, especially since this watch started around 2:30am. The scariest parts IMO are when Jack yells at his family: this movie is full of effective visuals that stick in your head and an iconic soundscape. In many ways, it's a beautiful film, and every time, I wish Scatman Crothers didn't die. (Spoiler alert: he doesn't in the book! He becomes an important part of Danny's life!)

The Most Dangerous Game: Can we go back to some movies only being 63 minutes long? I just think it would be a nice change of pace: not every film needs to be two hours long. Anyway, I watched this with Rifftrax, and it was fun. A man hunts people for sport, Faye Wray is there, and the protagonist here seems very unmoved by the deaths of his best friends in a shipwreck. Maybe he's in shock? Or maybe they didn't have time for that trauma when the whole "our host is trying to kill us" plot point was coming.

Ringu: Still compelling and deeply disturbing even after all these years: Sadako is one of, if not the best, modern horror icons. I'd forgotten that her victims die not from fear, but because of her incredible psychic power, which she possesses even after death. Also, the way to break the curse is interesting, because in theory, would-be victims could just keep showing the tape to others, copying it, then instructing others to repeat that cycle indefinitely, with no one dying.

Nope: This is my favorite Jordan Peele movie so far. It explores the consequences of thinking you're chosen, or just a mere spectator when, in fact, you are a participant in whatever entertainment you consume. So in watching this, you the viewer are engaging with spectacle, and seeing the characters try to survive that very thing. As a former English major, watching this always makes me want to write an essay.

[evita-shelby]

Incantatrice

Chapter 19

Cw: offscreen murder

*Spoilers* rip Arthur

Taglist: @thegreatdragonfruta @wandawiccan60 @zablife @call-sign-shark @cljordan-imperium

The negotiations with Polly Gray had gone well.

For letting them live and move to Boston with Ada or Australia with Polly, all she had to do was hand over Tommy Shelby. They’d give up their life of crime and never bother again.

Tommy had damned them all, it was only right that he gives up his life for them. It wasn’t like he lived anymore, he merely existed.

One man in exchange for many.

Well, two actually.

Polly didn’t know about Arthur, but Edward Ross needed to be avenged. It was the least they could do for Mrs. Ross and the other mothers of the other boys he’s maimed and killed in the boxing ring.

But that wouldn’t be traced back to them, after all, was it Changretta’s fault that Mrs. Ross had bought a gun for the occasion? Was it her fault that Arthur killed her Edward?

“I’ve seen you before, haven’t I?” Ada Thorne asks as they meet each other for a third time in the library.

“Yes, I was one of your investors, and a guest at a charity gala my family invited you to. Don’t worry, your company will be in good hands, we Rileys got a Midas Touch when it comes to business.” Eva kept her back to her and perused the shelf some more.

Shelby had spies everywhere, Eva had rooted most of them out and now there were several here watching them. Good, she thinks as she sows seeds of suspicion between Tommy and his only sister.

Especially after it’s just them and Finn left.

“I’d ask why you are doing this to us, but I already know the answer.” The woman took the book next to hers and wisely didn’t ask for what she already knew. “What do you gain from this?”

“Justice for my husband’s father and brother, a kingdom ripe for the taking.” Eva answered honestly, no need to lie about it now. It was all going to end soon, very soon.

February 3, or near that date.

Tommy would be dead, every Shelby scattered to the wind and the Changrettas building an empire from Tommy Shelby’s ashes.

All because the man didn’t verify if the shooter had even been Italian.

“The Spiniettas fear you, don’t they?” Ada asks something even her brother and aunt didn’t seem to piece together. “They know you are the reason Luca is on a whole other level, and they know he isn’t satisfied with following orders anymore. So the two of you took your chance to leave and carve out your own place here.”

“Even your brother didn’t put two and two together, Mrs. Thorne, color me impressed.” The witch comments and yet refused to turn around. “My husband will stop once Tommy is dead. As long as you keep away from this you and your son and your little brother will live. You can even keep your share of the company.”

“I won’t betray him, if that’s what you’re asking.” The communist turned businesswoman caught her drift very well. No wonder the legal part of Shelby Company was doing so well.

But Tommy won’t trust her word either, not when Polly is betraying him and Arthur dying in an hour.

“Not asking you to, just asking you to focus on other things.” Eva smiled and gestured to Benjamin Younger waiting to meet with her just on the other side of the aisle. “You could be happy again, Ada, happy with your son and perhaps a daughter. All you have to do is step aside.”

Ada doesn’t speak, but Eva hears her agree to it anyways.

“I didn’t think the woman had it in her.” Matteo laughs in surprise when the decoys deliver the news.

It had not been planned by this, but Luca knew better than to deny a mother long overdue justice.

Arthur Shelby had been dead the moment he came into her parlor and sat there while the boy in the photograph was cold in the ground. Mrs. Ross had been told how he hurt his wife, how her sweet Edward wasn’t his last victim and given the push needed to buy herself a gun.

Only Thomas was left and soon enough he’d be joining his brothers in hell.

“No one knows rage like a mother,” Luca said taking a new matchstick into his mouth. He’d been warned of this chance in plans, of the wagon in his path and how this helped seal the deal with Polly.

A nephew is not a son, the witch had said as she kissed him goodbye this morning. You will have your enemies at your feet before the first flowers even bloom, my love.

“What makes you think your old whore will keep her word, Luca?” his right hand asked knowing Arthur was part of Polly Gray’s deal.

“She won’t want me to kill her little boy. I didn’t run out of bullets by accident, you know.” The capo couldn’t wait for Polly to know just who she was dancing with.

She’d thought herself safe believing they didn’t know she was spying for her nephew, but after today, she’ll know better.

Polly Gray overestimates herself, he knows that very well. After all, she’d thought he’d never find out about her dalliances with Gray while he was in America. Luca had to teach her a lesson, teach him a lesson too.

Perhaps after this is over Luca will tell her how he killed her husband and had her children taken away for cheating on him all those years ago.

She could hold a grudge, just not as good as he did.

“Salvatore, take us to London. I have a meeting with Sabini.” Luca ordered as he made plans to take over London even if little Aurora Sabini lives long enough to marry his son.

[gardens-of-may]

ENTRY TWO - chap. 23 to chap. 50

spoilers ahead

AAAAAAAAAAA

that was me singing opera

you wish you heard it

also i can’t stop talking in a british accent because guess is on repeat 

good lord jennifer 

😐😐😐

this book is getting BORING

caves are amazing 😑

WHY IS THERE A CHILD

is the child okay????

eughhhhhhb

fuck you child 

ugh him

I STILL DONT UNDERSTAND WHY THERES A CHILD

oop he’s fAcToTuM 

i’m sorry this book is getting more boring by the second 

*an hour later*

the boy’s a liar the boys a liar he doesn’t see ya he’s not think about blahhhh

idk

i’m also currently falling asleep rn so 😗

CHILD LABOR

I DESPISE CHILD LABOR

I HAVE CERTAIN TOPICS IM VERY PASSIONATE ABOUT 

AND VHILD LABOR IS ONE OF THEM

*days later* (i wasn’t lying when i said this book is boring)

okay good consent!!!

oop he knows

i thought i was smart for knowing the french

i didn’t know bonne chance meant good luck 😑

it’s like avery is nonexistent and i HATE it

because in the main trilogy, his presence was very shown

but i keep forgetting that avery’s even here because of this shitty narration 

oh hi gray

oh my god grayson in shorts would actually scar me

oh my god

that’s evil

and she’s such a saint 

i forgot that we’re dealing with his dad

oops

technically avery didn’t kill him

so what’s so bad about putting the evidence of what he did against avery out?

i love xander i miss him sm

bonjour!

sisters 

hehehe 🤭 

that’s true tho

sav and gray are very similar 

gray also likes to deny his feelings tho

same bro 😜

nash is the best 

ily him sm 

suspicious 

oh no

was gray told abt the devils mercy thing?

i don’t really know what whom is 

LYRA

AHAHAGAHHAHS

ISVTHAT LYRA

IM GONNA SCREAM

STOP

MY ABAY

IVE BEEN IN LOVE WITH HER SINCE I HEARD OF HER AND THIS IS THE FURST TIME I MET HER

OMG

ASSHOLE 😍😍

IT IS LYRA

IM LIT DYING

NEW CRUSH

she’s so funny

that’s one way to deal with mental health 

get a lyra!

no not shorts 😭

ughhhh

i love gigi

lemonade? too sweet?

oh shit

i js realized i can only imagine gray with a british accent 

the aaron warner effect

grayson davenport hawthorne

i find it hilarious that it’s in autocorrect 

“I am so sorry that Avery girl took all of your money,” one of the others said seriously.

“And chose your brother,” another one added.

“And broke your heart!”

“But not your spirit.” The bravest of the girls reached out and laid a hand on his arm”

HAHAHAHA 

stop it’s like a fanclub

what has gotten into me?

😟😟😟

she isn’t a bitch 

her future is probably brighter than your fucking phone screens

oh yeah i forgot

gigi doesn’t know who he is

GIGI NO

GOOD LORD NO

no he is not your boyfriend or anything like that 

GIGI STOP

GIGI UGHHHH

THAT IMPLICATION ISBT 

SAVANNAH IS NIT A BITCH

gigi what cleavage?

gray’s reaction tho

NASH 😍😍

i’m in the rural rn

an ode to nash 

cupcake a palooza? 

ohhhh

WHAT

tallllll

as a 5’5 girl anything above 6’ is tall

seems ugly 

NOOOOO

FUCKING BITCH

UGHHHHHH

THAT BACKSTABBING BITCH

ARGHHHHH

USNT SHE RICH NOW?

a flashback? NOW???

TREE HOUSE YAY 

how tall was jamie at ten?

that’s so mean

yeah what about nash ?

he’s amazing 

okay gray might be perfect and xander can think outside the box but jamie is good at taking and measuring risks 

is that a skill? i don’t know 

js triggering pain and insecurities atp

wait they’re supposed to lose

ohhhh

okay so the point of the flashback is to show why he’s doing what he’s doing

wait what did he do?

ZELLA IS THE PROPRIETOR 

I BET

BET

mr. hawthorne js has a aura that is 

you know

i js read smth kinda sad and it lowk ruined the vibe 

ANYWAY

oh

i had hoped the proprietor was zella

ALREADY KNOW WHAT YOU GOT GOING ON DOWN THERE

sorry 🙂

THE HELL JAMIE

i forgot avery and jameson weren’t married 

i don’t know why i thought they were

GODDAMN JAMIE

oh shut the fuck up

this feels so wrong

WHAT

WHAT DO YOU MEAN 

brother?

ARGHHHHH

UGH

not this

where’s nash then?

AUGGHBBBBBB

EVE THAT FUCKING BITCH

what does that bitch want? 

a boyfriend? not even once she’s six feet under

WHY ARE YOU SYCH A CREEP???

“my existence?”

your existence pains everyone 

AHHHHH

i love gigi

oh shit

😳

anywayyyyyyy

LYRAAAAAAA

oh my god

hmmm

THATS SLATER???

BITCH IS UGLY AS FUCK

i love gigi 🥰

“prone to eyebrow arching, very fond of imperative sentences, blond and broody.”

how cute?

NO IT JUST GOT GOOD

WHAT TGE HELL JAMIE

WHAT HS WRING WITH YOU

i’m gonna kill you 

“oN tHe cOnTrArY-” shut the fuck up

ugh 

that’s terrifying 

i hate him

awwww i love avery tho

I HATE YOU 

WHAT

I THOUGHT THAT IT WENT 

nash > gray > jamie > xander

i think im used to leo

“privileged, prep school boy”

ughhhh

HE WON

i didn’t think he would

oh shitttttt

😣😣😣😣

i’m not describing this

good lord jameson

risk?

OM MY GSIF

oh yeah

his brothers are gonna kill him 😀

why would you purposefully do this to yourself?

that’s cute rohan, but i don’t think so

heheh 🤭 

bitch

what did you do in prague jameson? what?

no you did not 

MMMM-

oh nooooo

AGHGHBBBVBVVVVVVBHHH

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED IN PRAGUE???

gigi no

ajaksjjw he’s your brother you cannot date him 😭

that weirded me out even typing it

GIGI SYOP

HAHAHAHA

SAV AND GRAY NO

your imaginary girlfriend okay

(it’s me guys)

limes

our forever is limes

mhm

not like that

huh (i took a break if you couldn’t tell)

OH FRIENDLY WAY

UGHHHHH

FUCKING BASTARD

acacia is more of a mom to gray than fucking skye will ever be

good lord

UGHHH

NOW???

anw eight years ago everyone 🙂

this is so traumatic 

yay

[shipaholic]

Episode 2: “The Clue” / “A Companion To Owls”

Good Omens 2 Episode 2 liveblog! Beware spoilers!!

- Crowley is such a troll in this opening scene. I've come around on the beard/glasses combo. He looks like a wisecracking talking Disney goat.

---

- Jon Hamm’s impression of Buddy Holly is amazing. “Ah-hey, ah-hey-hey” yes give me those weird, grandpa-like hiccups.

---

- I can hear a fly during the zoom in on sleeping Crowley in the Bentley... does Beez have one spy in the bookshop and one on Crowley at all times?

- Hmmm, Shax tells Crowley right away about Heaven detecting the miracle. That could be evidence for my Beelzebub theory, I guess...? Beez wants Crowley kept informed about the danger, so that he’ll continue to keep Gabriel safe, but they get to keep up plausible deniability with Shax and the other demons that they’re only threatening Crowley.

- Poor Shax. Crowley’s bullying her.

- LOL are all the other demons afraid of driving at high speeds? (See: Hastur.) All he had to do to get rid of Shax was rev the engine.

---

- I like Maggie, but she’s a little clingy with Aziraphale. You’d think the euphoria of having 8 months of overdue rent forgiven would have lasted longer than 24 hours. On the other hand, her encyclopaedic knowledge of music history is really cool.

- Aziraphale conducting every time he sings Everyday is the cutest thing ever.

---

- Crowley orders Talisker! I assume John Finnemore insisted.

- OMG, Mr. Brown is holding a newspaper with THEE headline in it about the Nebraska woman who taught her duck to play the accordion.

- “Get humans wet, and staring into each others’ eyes. Vavoom.” I. I don’t think Crowley knows where babies come from either.

- THAT JANE AUSTEN LORE. AND CROWLEY DISAPPROVES?? SHE SOUNDS AWESOME

---

- Aziraphale is so hesitant when he says he doesn’t think God wants to kill Job’s children, and so utterly certain when he says he knows Crowley doesn’t want to. He already has more faith in Crowley’s mercy than God’s. 😭

- THE UNBELIEVABLE LEVELS OF SASS

- OK Ty Tennant is very funny

- Both the older kids treating Aziraphale like a waiter is hilarious actually, as is Jemima wanting to be a blue lizard and Crowley obliging

- I’ve been jossed a bunch already this season, but the biggest shock to my system by far is Crowley tempting Aziraphale into enjoying human food. I genuinely assumed Aziraphale has been nibbling on whatever was around to nibble on since he was first deployed on Earth. It took him a millennia and a half to try barbeque?? Poor deprived bb

- Whoever wrote that post about Aziraphale discovering honey and tearing into a beehive like an especially feral Winnie The Pooh, I hope they’re patting themself on the back right now.

- I am more into the sight of Michael Sheen falling onto an entire ox corpse like a starving werewolf than I am comfortable with, but fine, I guess this is who I am now.

- ALL I’M SAYING IS, Crowley and Aziraphale’s first kiss had better go EXACTLY like this.

---

- I’m here for hungover Crowley wobbling across the sand.

- I suspect this minisode is difficult to follow for any viewers who didn’t swot up on the Book of Job a fortnight or so ago, like I assume we all did.

- Michael is the only angel in this scene who possesses more than a single braincell, but they’re all clearly thick as can be. The only people thicker than them are Job and Ennon, who are somehow even worse at lying than Aziraphale and Crowley.

- Crowley has such immense fucking panache this entire episode. I do love him and his terrible beard.

---

- That little tongue in cheek thing Aziraphale does on “investigation” - he cannot get any cuter now. it’s literally impossible. please.

- Crowley slapped his hand omg

---

- Oh god, the conversation on the bench... Aziraphale is in actual tears, and Crowley is so wry and gentle and reassuring, even while delivering words that are, taken on their own, a stark form of comfort. He’s just a calm presence while Aziraphale experiences shrimp emotions on the other side of the bench. I can’t even speak about Aziraphale, honestly, but I’ll give it a shot... he is so brave and scared 😭😭😭 Hell?? He really thought he belonged in Hell? Crowley was absolutely right to gently laugh at a notion that ridiculous (and awful) (and then again, Crowley also used to be a sweet little curly-headed bunny of an angel, and look at the unspeakable thing that happened to him). There’s that little moment where Crowley says he’s not going to tell anyone, and asks Aziraphale if he’s going to tell anyone, and Aziraphale gives this little ashamed headshake, like he’s realising for the first time that he’s not, he’s willing to lie (by omission) about this too. And then he glances at the sky, as if verifying that God isn’t going to send down a thunderbolt, and realises that he’s actually safe. There aren’t going to be any consequences; he’s going to get away with it. And that’s almost worse, the idea that he doesn’t live in a world with clearly defined rules, and he truly can’t predict what God thinks, or what she is going to do. She spoke directly to Job, but she’s a closed book to Aziraphale.

---

- The ending credits are on fire so far this season.

---

Right, um, next up, an episode I haven’t already seen. asdhkagsd.

[uncl3badtouch]

📢 Spoilers if you haven't read it 📢

I read 📚 (full disclosure, I listened to this one and it took 44 hours) "It" recently and I'm still reeling. I finished it sometime last week, and there are still scenes that truly haunt me. My mind was also blown with the big finale, but that'll come.

It started off with a bang, the man getting bit 👌🏻 very scurry. But then there were a handful of things that don't get repeated today, and people know about that, so not to beat a dead horse, that's all I'll say. That there were so many slurs I actually learned one I've never heard before. 😅

Anywho, he's apologized and it's the last I will say of it. Soooo, getting back into it, the first chapter really sets you up for what's coming. Now, the next few chapters, I'm not sure if everything I'm gonna say is in exact order but I'm gonna try my best!

Everyone gets their call from Mike to come back to Derry, and suddenly, they remember. Bill had even remembered his brother who he hadn't thought about in years. Derry is a special place where you forget everything as soon as you leave it. ✨️ it is explained better in the book 📖 We catch a glimpse into everyone's lives and how different they all are after they grow up and leave.

Stanley kills himself because he couldn't deal with everything again. It's sad but also the worst because it weakens the gang 😕 everyone meets at the restaurant and they have the famous scene on the food becoming gross stuff and they have to pretend they don't see it. But that happens after they tell a majority of their childhood story, flipping between everyone's memories that are returning to them slowly.

We see some of the traumas the kids endure without It involved. These kids were soo tough. Some of the things they got through... 😔 but here we learn about all the other times that It had popped up too, some of the stories were crazy! And we don't see them in the movies.

The werewolf that the boys encounter is 👌🏻. 🐺 It's so scary and so... almost unexpected. It was probably one of my favorite memories discussed. They laughed and had a decent time then decided to head their separate ways for the evening, and regroup the next day to take It on.

They each run into their own monsters on the way to their shared destination, and each of those monsters is really cool in the way they appeared and who they appeared to. Personal favorite, Beverly and the witch in the candy house 🍬 🍫 🏠 (gotta read it to find out 😉). Soooooo fucking sick. I wish it was in the movies.

They all end up back at the townhouse they're staying at and Beverly and Bill go heels to Jesus in the most awkward way. Like, I was super uncomfortable with how Mr. King described the whole scenario, and it made me roll my eyes so hard people could hear it. He's not a romance writer, that's for sure. I also want to say that the scene after the kids all beat It for the first time, where they all have sex sith Beverly, super unnecessary and super inappropriate in my opinion and we didn't need it to push any part of the story forward. The worst part of the book in my opinion.

When Henry comes back is super eerie. It really made me tense and I really love the crazy of it all, but things didn't go how I had known them from the films and it was really dynamic in that evening leading up to the final fight.

Mike is barely hanging on at this point and the gang decides to get going. I believe it was early morning, I'm not sure the exact time so sorry about that. But the gang goes with Eddys arm broke again and they're down two members. But they make it to the lair of It.

It was difficult and gruesome and Bill's wife is missing, but they make it through all the obstacles. They perform the ritual of Chud and we meet the turtle. I get it and don't at the same time. I'm still thinking about it's significance days later.

Oh, also, I find out that It is female, and pregnant, and it blew my mind. So much so that I had to stop it and call my brother just to talk to him about it because it just blind sided me. Like, I don't know, it just shook me 🤷🏼‍♀️

There was a lot of the story that doesn't get very touched on in the movies. There's steampunk birds, talking moons, gay bars, and a lot of violence and hatred (It was involved in gang murders! Yikes!) And there's so many extra story parts that are sooo good to read about and I would live to see in the movies, but I'm not sure 6 hour movies are everyone (I mean, I could do it, cue lord of the rings) but some of the scenes would be super difficult.

King truly is a a beautiful story teller. He's famous for good reason and deserves all the credit he gets in creating these terrifying and amazing stories. I would never think about half the things he had, he's truly a creator of terror. All in all, I think I'd give It 7/10.

There was so much good 👍🏻 honestly and truly and I wish that more of the book was recognized, but there was a lot I thought could have been taken out. Not including the aforementioned things, there's a ton that I personally don't think moves the story forward in any good way.

Would I re read this? Probably not in its entirety, but I will go back and read read certain scenes

Would I recommend it? Yes, I really do. Take the time to read it or listen to it once in your life. It really is worth it.

What did you think?

[rottenbrainstuff]

BG3 Playthrough: Caught up! Exploring at the goblin camp

(Mild spoilers)

I am now finally caught up from my backtracking to fix the mistake I made, and now I’m moving forward again, and the owlbear cub is at my camp. I have no regrets whatsoever about redoing hours and hours of gameplay - this guy is adorable, 100% worth it. During the redo, I actually caught some books that I somehow missed the first time (one looks like it was probably destroyed in a fight - check areas before you scrap! The others - I just somehow wasn’t exploring thoroughly) I got a little more backstory about what exactly happened to the Blighted Village / Moonhaven. I’m really blown away by the amount of little details in this game. If all the areas are as rich as the ones so far, it’s going to take me absolutely forever to actually finish this stupid game.

I would also be much farther in this game than I currently am if I wasn’t also wasting a ridiculous amount of time double checking things - it is so hard to find actual, accurate, concrete answers for questions that I have. As someone who is used to gamefaqs.com or hell even the big Stardew Valley wiki, it’s frustrating to me that it’s hard or even impossible to find some info. The fact that early access has been out there for three years makes it worse. The info I find is either people on forums making guesses, sparse articles and naked wikis which sometimes are saying things that are just outright not true, or it’s early access info which just isn’t applicable anymore. Frustrating. So instead I waste hours and hours just going around, checking things, seeing under what circumstances certain things will and won’t trigger, etc. “Well why don’t you just do like everyone else is doing and not care about any of that, and just fuck around and see what happens?” I don’t know, this is how *I* like to play the game. Maybe it makes me feel smart to figure all this stuff out.

My current favs to have in combat are Astarion and Karlach. Astarion is a mean little murder machine. I gave him the dark urge cloak I got after (redacted) happened, and it turns him invisible for two rounds if he kills something. I subclassed him into assassin, he has a million items to give him extra movement and attacks and jumps and things, and I gave him dual weilding and two rapiers, so basically every battle he runs around very fast stabbing holes into absolutely everything. And then Karlach, I gave her that berserker subclass, so I have immense fun watching her pick enemies up and fucking SLAM them down into the ground. So much fun. Wyll’s also not bad, eldritch blast is one hell of a cantrip. It’s stressful having so many companions. They’re all so awesome and I want to use them all but I can’t.

I’ve been using the map markers to map out vantage points that have beautiful views that I like to go back and look at, ie the view from the ruined temple that overlooks the nautiloid crash. This game is so pretty,

I’m now currently making my way through the big old goblin camp with the “murder is fun” squad of Lae’zel, Shadowheart, and Astarion; the other companions get too mad when I’m trying to dialogue my way out of things. For goodness sake Gale, I’m not going to ACTUALLY torture prisoners, I said it to make the goblins leave, why don’t you understand that?... in a similar vein… Lae’zel, Shadowheart, and Astarion…. The approval you are giving me is for my clever fooling of the guards, right? You don’t actually think I’m going to torture people, right? This is what you’re approving? Right? RIGHT GUYS?

I just love the little details that have been programmed into this. Stuff like the goblin kids being afraid of the animal familiars (but not the imp or quasit) Stuff like how I played music in the big party and two other goblins jumped in to play instruments. Stuff like all the incidental dialogue and the silly titles the goblins call me (mr drow, your excelness, your drowness, your majesticness, etc)

So much fun. So much to explore. Soon I’m going to have to figure out what to do with the goblin leaders. Gut and Ragzlor I think I can easily take out, but honestly I am thinking I’m going to get Minthara to come to the grove. I think the idea of fighting alongside the tieflings against a goblin siege sounds crazy fun, plus then I can use the hoard of explosive barrels I’ve been collecting and blow Minthara straight into the stratosphere. Probably it will be a little while before I get to that, plus apparently there’s a new little set of tasks to do in the grove to help prepare. So much fun. So much fun in this game.

[handoverthekawaii]

Siren Song

This is a random one-shot from 2018 that I unearthed from my computer and wanted to share! Timing-wise, the story was written to take place after Episode 2x15, so there are season 2 spoilers. Hope you enjoy.

TW: drug abuse, drug addiction, angst, very dark themes

​Spencer Reid knew that he was making a grave mistake.

​It was 4:07 a.m. He sat in his apartment at the kitchen table, the light over the sink illuminating the bowl of cereal he had been halfheartedly eating. An infomercial was blaring from the TV in the living room.

But none of these things drew Reid’s attention as strongly as the vials of Dilaudid sitting neatly in a row at the table’s edge.

​Just six hours ago Reid had been the hostage of Tobias Hankel, a serial killer with multiple personality disorder who had tortured him for his purported sins before God. Hankel expressed three distinct personalities – that of a father, his son, and the archangel Raphael. Hankel the father was intensely religious and beat Reid until he confessed his sins, most notably the committing of his mother Diana to a mental institution for her paranoid schizophrenia.

Raphael was a judgmental observer, urging Reid to choose a side in the battle between good and evil outlined in the Book of Revelations. But Hankel the son was the personality who had the most damning effect on Reid. A drug addict, he had “treated” Reid for his injuries by injecting him with Dilaudid.

Reid killed Hankel with his own gun as the man forced Reid to dig his own grave. But as he left the scene with the rest of the BAU, the siren song of the Dilaudid called to him, and in the end Reid could not resist its temptation.

​He had already undergone the horrors of detox in the hospital, and at the moment he was drug-free. The rational part of his brain insisted that it would be best to stay that way. He knew that doing anything other than throwing the vials of Dilaudid into the garbage would be a cruel error.

​But oh, how burdened he felt.

​Reid thought of his mother. As he had confessed to Hankel, he had had her institutionalized and rarely visited her. Freshly graduated from high school, he had not felt capable of caring for a fully grown adult with a debilitating mental condition. But had he truly considered the feelings of his mother?

Had he imagined the betrayal she must have felt being torn from her home, her possessions, and the life with which she had grown so familiar? Had he accorded her the proper respect when he signed paperwork that forced her to take medication against her will? Had he done right by her when he moved across the country for college, sparing her only the occasional letter or phone call? How neglected she must feel, he thought, and looked at the Dilaudid.

​He thought of his father. Mr. Reid had walked out on the family when Reid was ten, and Reid had never seen him again. Mr. Reid must have been himself quite burdened by his wife and son. He had not so much as called or written a letter when Reid graduated from high school, earned his doctorate degree, or joined the FBI.

For all that Reid knew, his father may have another family in some other part of the country whom he loved better than Reid. Mr. Reid had disabused Reid, discarded him, like he was worthless. The thought made Reid feel empty inside, and his fingers twitched for the Dilaudid.

​He thought of himself. His mother had schizophrenia, and statistically speaking he knew that he was predisposed to the condition as he neared the age of thirty. Sometimes as a teenager, Reid had heard voices in his head, and they had even been able to assist him with his mathematical deductions and research. Unlike his mother, he had always been able to dismiss them as the work of an overactive imagination. Reid was secretly terrified that he would be unable to similarly discern reality and fantasy as he aged.

More generally speaking, he knew that he did not truly fit in among the other members of the BAU team. He often misunderstood their jokes or got upset when they rearranged the items on his desk without asking. He knew that his behavior was not quite normal, but it was simply who Reid was. He could not change it, but with the Dilaudid he could forget it.

​Most of all, he thought of JJ. Only Gideon knew how much Reid truly thought of her. He had admired her from afar for months, daring to do no more than bring her a cup of coffee once in a while or to comment on the weather. She was radiant, with blonde hair like a golden field of grain and eyes like starlight. When she smiled, Reid couldn’t help but smile back, no matter how grim a case they were working.

He longed to tell her how he felt, to take her into his arms, to whisper sweet nothings into her ear… But JJ didn’t love him. When she looked at him she saw only Dr. Spencer Reid, Reid the Genius, The Guy Who Can Read 20,000 Words a Minute….and he knew it all too well.

​Reid reached for the Dilaudid. [AO3]

[damnhotmsimmons]

Episode 9-Memento Mori

the Rossi centric episode, which I have less excitement for. Here are my thoughts

caution: spoilers below

“January 2022″. So there’s a flashback, but who is it about?

Oh shit? Is this Krystal’s funeral?

Emily comforting Rossi

Rossi not being there in Krystal’s final moments and Emily giving him a hug

Ironic how we get some genuine bonding moments and it’s in a flashback and after a funeral

....cut to the present and now in color, with Rossi looking at Elias’ family

Sydney asking Rossi what’s going on, if only she knew her husband is a serial killer

Rossi showing Sydney the cctv footage of Elias, only to get a call from him

Elias asking Sydney about Rossi in the security camera and her telling him that an FBI Agent is at their house

Elias remembering that name cause he read one of Rossi’s books. Him being a manipulative liar and convincing Sydney that Rossi is dangerous and is after her cause he “quit” his job, and the fact that they made Rossi look creepy in this scene doesn’t help

So Rossi tells Emily that Elias Voit is Sicarius despite lack of evidence and compliance from Sydney

Tbh, Ramona looks more like JJ than Sydney but okay

at least I know Tara and Garcia are also in this episode

so Rossi is at the Seattle Field Office

yay, so the team all appears in this episode, thank god

all of them going through Elias’ personal information and that he and Sydney are married for 15 years before his first kill

Emily and Tara visiting the AG and trying to convince her to reopen the Sicarius case after Rossi tries to convince them that Elias Voit is Sicarius

Oh shit, Elias seeing Rossi at the Seattle Field Office

“May 2022″ another flashback scene, and Tara is there...

oh look, Rebecca is there.....is this how they first met? Will she appear in the present day scenes?

Rebecca’s previous spouse was a drunk? 

aww, the first glances....if only episode 6 didn’t happen

Tara’s first Al-Anon and it’s how she and Rebecca first met

aww, they had a coffee date

.....and back to the present, with Emily presenting the case to the AG about Elias Voit possibly being Sicarius

Rebecca agreeing with Emily and Tara, I’m surprised she did that considering where she and Tara left off. Though I assume there’s the whole “I’m not doing this for you...” schtick after this 

The AG reluctantly gives the BAU the green light, but gives them 48 hours and they’re on a short leash, which isn’t good for the BAU

The team owes Rebecca big time, especially Tara

Rebecca turning down Tara’s coffee date....cause she got a job at the Sacramento office. Dammit writers, how dare you keep trying to break them apart

sadly, can’t blame her for wanting to take the job considering how the Silvio Herrera case affected her career at the DOJ

Tara feeling bad and saying “I miss you” hurts more than it should

“Goodbye Tara.”..........I just want to give Tara a hug, she’s alone again

Elias is so smart and well prepared to have confidence being at the field office and talking to Rossi

Elias telling Rossi that he read all of his books, is that his way of saying that he knows “everything” about him and what he does?

Elias turning the tables against Rossi, lying to him that he reads true crime and doesn’t live it. Being fully aware how he profiles people by monitoring his body language and expressions.

Elias denying that he knows who Cyrus is

Not Elias asking Rossi if he had lost his first wife and badge while pursuing “Mr. Acid Guy.” Possible foreshadowing based on the photos

Is it true Elias has friends in government jobs? Does that explain how he’s able to reach out to Benjamin and why he’s always a few steps ahead of the BAU?

Is he trying to get a rise out of Rossi by asking him if he went off the distance chasing an unsub?

Elias giving Rossi all his devices and letting him go through them, which which shows how he’s clearly prepared and erased anything that could potentially track him and buying himself an alibi that could fool others

Ramona won’t cooperate, and oh shit, not Garcia suggesting Tyler Green can cooperate. This is gonna go well.....

I was so repulsed by Tyler’s appearance that I didn’t even notice Will was in the elevator as him 😂

Thank god Will prevented a cringy Greencia moment, but why is he here and what does his presence mean?

Will volunteering to look at a cold case involving Green’s sister?

Why is Tyler lying that he doesn’t see the unsub? Did Elias do something to him? Is he working for Elias? Is he gonna take matters into his own hands cause he doesn’t trust that the BAU will stop him?

Luke being suspicious when Tyler says he didn’t see him, all cause Tyler said “sorry”

Garcia telling Tyler to look her in the eye and not lie, except he still lied to her

Not Tyler holding Garcia’s hand and telling her to call him. Is someone watching them?

Damn, I thought there was gonna be another flashback but I guess not

Sydney not taking anymore shit from Elias and demanding answers

Elias being a manipulative liar again

pretty scary how Sydney was able to buy into Elias’ lies like that

Garcia leaving a voicemail for Rossi, she knows Tyler is hiding something from her

Not Tyler tracking the voicemail and flying to Seattle

“May 2006″ Goddammit, I want a flashback of another BAU member not Tyler

Wait, is Tyler also at the grocery store where Sydney is

Sydney is me grocery shopping when prices are low during the pandemic. Her grabbing the wine is also a mood and something she really needs

Oh shit, not Rossi finding her

Rossi telling Sydney about her rough childhood

Not Rossi telling Sydney that her husband is a serial killer and him telling her to let him prove it to her goes exactly how it’s expected

Elias recording Rossi and tarnishing his image, the AG being angry at that and Rebecca suggesting that Rossi is pulled out of the field

Honestly, Rossi should have retired but this is sad

Emily having no choice but to say “yes ma’am”

Garcia trying to reach Tyler but no answer and Luke mocking her, I love it 

Finally, Luke knows something is wrong and he and Garcia having to talk

“...he is so marvelous in bed.” Bitch, Tyler is still a material witness

Luke being rightfully angry at Garcia is satisfying to watch 

JJ being common sense makes sense cause she would tell Emily what happened, Tara having her heart broken and Rossi

Luke being grossed out by Greecia sex is a mood

Luke did have a point saying how messy it’ll be seeing the kind of person Tyler is and all of Garcia’s previous love interests

Garcia is acting like she didn’t regret what she did, she should still be ashamed of herself

Rossi arriving outside Elias’ house and seeing Prentiss’ text, he doesn’t look like he has any regrets

Elias inviting Rossi to his house

Rossi breaks Elias by bringing up Cyrus

“devolution”, seems like Rossi and Garcia are devolving more than Elias has

Elias being able to overpower Rossi, goes exactly how it’s expected and ends with Rossi  being knocked out

“August 2012″ a flashback to Elias and his family

Oh shit, Tyler is watching Elias go into his car

The team learning that Rossi was last seen at Elias’ house

Oooo, Garcia accidentally revealing the voicemail in front of the rest of the team. Who’s the jerkface now?

Emily concealing her anger and disappointment from Garcia and having her go into the field with JJ and Luke

Elias saying he was up for a challenge

Tyler attempting to shoot Elias, yea this won’t end well for Tyler

How is he so careful though

Aww, Will’s first time on the jet

So Tyler is tracking Rossi’s phone

Garcia mocking herself for falling for guys like Tyler Green, hate to say that she brought this on herself

I liked Luke giving her a pat on the back though

The team deciding to track Tyler’s phone

“it’s over.” Is she talking about her career or her relationship with Tyler? Possibly both?

Elias taking Rossi to the first shipping container

Tyler found Elias and aiming his gun at Rossi, yea he’s a goner

....and he’s dead, not surprised

“February 2020″ Oh my god oh my god, the garvez date

....well this is disappointing

“right person.” Bitch, it’s each other wtf

They found Tyler’s dead body

aww Rebecca is holding Tara’s hand

oh shit, Elias livestreaming Rossi’s captivity to the BAU and threatening to kill Rossi if they don’t let him go

a callback to 16x05 where the Emily helplessly watches a fellow team member in danger and the camera goes to static

  Overall, I’d give this a 7/10. I’m surprised that this episode is not as bad as I’d thought it would be, seeing how the photos and synopsis made it seem like it’s 100% Rossi centric but I’m glad to see some more moments of the rest of the characters. That said, I do have some issues like the flashback scenes, like why cram them all in in one episode when you had all of the previous episodes to do so. The garvez date is also underwhelming and disappointing, though I haven’t completely given up on them as obviously Luke and Garcia need more time to work things out only for the pandemic to happen, plus Garcia’s commitment issues which is why she ends up with guys like Tyler when Luke is a much healthier option for her. Seeing Rebecca hold hands with Tara gives a little glimpse of hope for them. I hate seeing how pathetic and reckless Rossi is and I’ll be damned if he still decides to stick around in the BAU after this

[385bookreviews]

2.230 The Spirit Bares Its Teeth by Andrew Joseph White

SPOILERS

Pages: 381

Read Time: 4 hours and 51 minutes

Overall Rating: 5★ Storyline: 5★ Dialogue: 5★ Characters: 5★

Genre: YA Historical Fiction/Gothic Horror

TWs for the book: Transphobia, gore, body horror, medical content, deadnaming, forced institutionalization, medical trauma, abortion, misogyny/sexism, blood, death, SA/CSA, ableism, murder, torture, violence, physical/mental/emotional/child abuse, pregnancy, gender dysphoria, child death, confinement, p*dophilia, gaslighting, self harm, mental illness, homophobia, r*pe, domestic abuse, discussions of miscarriage, su*c*dal thoughts, panic attacks/meltdowns, vomit, animal death, cursing, abandonment, bullying, death of a parent, kidnapping, outing, classism, body shaming, religious bigotry

POV: First person; Silas Bell

Time Period/Location: 1883-1884 London, England

First Line: At least the doctors had the decency to kill me before they opened me up.

Set in Victorian Era England, autistic trans boy Silas Bell is a violet-eyed medium. People with violet eyes are members of the Royal Speaker Society, and are tasked with summoning the dead and taming hauntings. But only the men are allowed to do so, and the women are married off to rich, non-medium men in order to create more children for the Society. As young as 16, Silas' parents have already engaged him off to Lord Luckenbill's (the head of the Speaker Society) son, Edward Luckenbill. Silas, who wants to run away to transition and become a surgeon, forges his identity and dresses as a different boy in order to gain his Speaker's seal. However, when he arrives, he is given to his brother George to be chaperoned by, who recognizes him immediately. George tentatively agrees to help him, and he goes up in front of the whole society to perform his test and receive his seal. Unexpectedly his test is to execute a woman who practiced opening the Veil, by opening the Veil himself and suffocating her in the land of the dead. He refuses, giving the woman time to stab the guard holding her. Silas and George immediately rush over to help him, and Silas stitches him back together. When George's medical license is threatened over the incident, Silas reveals himself in the presence of his parents. Before he can be taken to jail or executed for such a crime, Lord Luckenbill tells him and his parents of Braxton's Finishing School, a sanitorium for violet-eyed women afflicted with "Veil sickness" to go and be trained to be perfect wives. Veil sickness was nothing more than a hysteria label for women who weren't perfect in the eyes of society, but his parents believed he was afflicted by it and agreed to send him there. Silas tries to flee but is assaulted by his father, before being whisked off by Lord Luckenbill and Edward. He arrives at the school and is immediately made to strip and bathe in front of Mrs. Forrester, a teacher at the school.

He then meets Isabella, another student at the school, along with Mary, a seemingly cruel and manipulative girl, Ellen, a tall girl with a lot of anger who listens very closely to Mary, Louise, who is a little bit of a coward, Charlotte, who believes everything the Headmaster tells her and plays the perfect woman, and 14 year old Agnes. Agnes, who is pregnant by her much older suitor, Dr. Bernthal, is made prepared to leave the school. Angry and encouraged by an equally wrathful Mary, Ellen throws Agnes over the banister of the stairs. When asked who did it, Silas says it was Ellen, and she is taken by the Headmaster and doesn't return. Upon his first meeting with Edward, it is revealed that her name is actually Daphne and she is trans just like Silas. She is very accepting of their engagement and of his autism, and Silas is relieved. During their meeting, letter tiles that Speakers use to communicate with spirits fly out of the cabinet, claiming to be Ellen and another former student Frances, telling Silas to run. Daphne and Silas dedicate themselves to finding out what happened to the girls and bringing it to Lord Luckenbill's attention so he would shut down the school. During this time, Silas is subjected to lessons about being a good wife, and the Headmaster uses physical violence to try and make Silas realize he isn't a boy, and also s*xually assaults him. Silas meets the groundskeeper, who is autistic just like him, and they try to work together to figure out the mystery until they are caught by Mrs. Forrester, the Headmaster's wife. As punishment, the girls are shown one of Dr. Bernthal's patients, a former student named Harriet. Afflicted with "Veil sickness", Dr. Bernthal had removed her tongue, eyes, and teeth, leaving her a tortured shell. Mrs. Forrester has a breakdown as Harriet was one of her fellow students while she was a student there as well.

Desperate for help, Silas writes George to come and visit. He tries to tell him of the missing girls but he calls him sick and crazy, and then shows him why he was really there: to treat Mrs. Forrester. The Headmaster made her walk with glass in her shoes to keep her "Veil sickness" at bay. At the Garden Party, Daphne and Silas discover that the bodies are being kept in the dressing room and wonder how to find a way in. It is also announced that Isabella is to be married to her much older suitor, another doctor, like Agnes. That night, Silas walks into the bathroom to find Isabella cutting her stomach open to remove the three month old fetus inside so she wouldn't be married off. Silas helps her and performs the rest of the C-section, Mary and Louise helping as well. Just as Silas finishes the procedure, the Headmaster and Mrs. Forrester walk in, and he takes Isabella away and the rest of the girls are locked away in their room. Upon being freed, the other girls are allowed to go but the Headmaster and Dr. Bernthal try to detain Silas. Mary attacks the Headmaster and steals the keys to the dressing room. Silas runs down and finds a hidden basement with Isabella's body, where she was vivisected (dissected alive). Frances and Ellen's ghosts are also there. Mary and Silas are then locked in the basement. When the door opens again sometime later, the Headmaster, Dr. Bernthal, and another man are there to vivisect Silas. Silas realizes the other man is his brother George, and begins pleading for his life. He is about to be cut open when Daphne arrives demanding to see Silas, and they get him up and presentable, but threaten to kill Mary if he says anything to Daphne. He manages to tell Daphne anyways, and sneaks into the Headmaster's office with the help of the groundskeeper. He begins searching through files to find evidence of their crimes, but is tricked by Charlotte and Louise and Charlotte calls for Mrs. Forrester. When she arrives, Silas grabs the letter he needs and rips open the Veil, and all of the ghosts Headmaster killed in the war come flooding out, freezing the school and causing it to collapse under the frost. Daphne and Silas race to the basement, where his brother is gone, but Headmaster and Dr. Bernthal are frozen to death. They grab Mary and run and are picked up by Lord Luckenbill.

After a long sleep at Luckenbill Manor, Silas awakes and lets Lord Luckenbill into his room. He shows him the proof of the vivisections, a letter from his brother to the Headmaster, but Lord Luckenbill knew about it. He is only angered by the fact that they touched Silas. Then he reveals that he wants to marry Silas instead of marrying him to Daphne, and that he had been watching Silas since he was a child and waiting for him to be old enough to marry as Silas reminded him of his dead wife. Silas refuses, and Luckenbill tries r*pe him. Silas kills him with a piece of glass to his throat and chews out his eyeballs. Daphne and Mary saw the whole thing, and they escape the manor.

One year later, Silas and Daphne are married and living as their respective genders. Mary invites them to Manchester for Christmas, and when they go, they discover she has also invited Agnes and her baby. Agnes asks Silas if he wants to kill his brother, and the book ends.

Silas Bell (Gloria Bell, Silas Barry): Silas is one of, if not the most, relatable characters I've ever read. His autism was very accurately portrayed, and shows that even if someone "looks normal" they can still be autistic, just masking due to trauma. His anxiety is also portrayed as a rabbit that lives inside of his chest and repeats the words of the people who have abused him. When he decides to refuse Lord Luckenbill and then subsequently kills him, there is a wonderful metaphor/description of him strangling the rabbit and snapping its neck. This isn't a permanent cure for his anxiety, however he no longer lets it govern him and no longer hears his insecurities in the voices of the people who hurt him. I loved his constant stimming, and how it wasn't overdone but definitely still relevant in his every moment. The struggle he has of constantly being around people and sometimes wanting touch and other times not resonated a lot with me personally, as did his feelings about his gender and how that intersected with his feelings about being born female. Another huge thing that I love about the way Andrew Joseph White writes his trans characters is that none of them hate being trans, even when faced with so much hardship because of it. Silas explains that he has a much deeper understanding of himself than most people and even if he could magically make himself "normal" he never would. Silas still experiences trans joy even in the most trying of times and that is one of the most beautiful things about his entire character.

Daphne Luckenbill (Edward Luckenbill, Daphne Barry): I loved Daphne the whole book and how gentle and understanding she was with Silas. She always made a safe space for him, and he did the same for her, and was willing to help him no matter what. I also loved that she didn't at all blame Silas for her father's death, and made no justifications for his disgusting actions.

Mary Carter: You really hate Mary at first because she seems to be very cruel and conniving, but you end up gaining a lot of understanding and sympathy for her. Her connection with Frances and their love surpassing the Veil was moving, and she had an excellent character arc throughout the whole book.

Storyline: I was on the edge of my seat for this entire book. I really thought Silas wasn't going to make it at certain parts and was preparing myself for a tragedy. While some of the plot twists (such as George being one of the doctors doing vivisections) I saw coming, it didn't matter as the reveals were still just as gut wrenching. The body horror was insane but not at all overdone, and the whole thing overall was a beautiful and gory commentary about misogyny, ableism, and transphobia, not just in Victorian England, but even in today's day and age.

Representation: Silas is FtM transgender and bisexual and has autism, anxiety, and trauma. Daphne is MtF transgender. Mary and Frances are lesbians. The groundskeeper was non-speaking autistic. There were not any people of color in this book, but there is an author's note at the end speaking to the historical accuracy of the book where Andrew Joseph White explains that it is important to acknowledge that a lot of the torture and abuse Silas faces in the book was most commonly done on people of color throughout all of history.

Summary: Not only was this book incredibly well written and well researched, it gave very accurate representation of autism that I've never seen before. Just as in Hell Followed With Us, Andrew Joseph White portrays the trans experience as so much more than what people think it is on the surface. The way Daphne, Silas, Mary, and Isabella all changed the usage of names and pronouns immediately upon finding out either Daphne or Silas was trans was such a relief after reading the atrocity that was The Art of Being Normal (see earlier book review 2.96 for all of the reasons I violently despise that book). This is definitely one of the best books I have ever read and I will continue to be reading any and everything that Andrew Joseph White writes.

Quotes: "They can't keep scraping away layers of me thinking they can find the girl they want underneath... All of this is me. They can't just remove whatever they want."-Silas Bell (p. 87) "A strange thing about being a boy like me is how difficult it is to untangle the truth of yourself from the world's perception of you. Because, yes, I am a boy. I am just as much a man as my father and brother, just a different kind. Acknowledging this has made my life almost bearable; it's taken a terrible weight off my shoulders, given me an answer for why I feel the way I do. But I still connect with women. I find companionship with them, closeness that cannot be denied, because the world will always do its damnedest to see me as one of them. As long as we are seen the same, we will experience the same. Our lives will be linked. I will be held to the same unfair standards, punished under the same unjust rules. To separate how you are seen from who you are sometimes feels nigh impossible."-Silas Bell (p. 94) "'... I like being like this. All of it. Even if it makes things hard.' And that's true. Knowing these things about myself has given me an insight, an understanding of the way I move through the world that a great many people lack. I would never give that away."-Silas Bell (p. 204) "I tell her that the two of us are the same, mirror images of each other, our experiences so fundamentally opposite that they become identical again."-Silas Bell (p. 301) "If you're expecting some grand wisdom about love... you're sorely mistaken... It's merely asking the other person what they want for supper every day for the rest of your life."-Daphne Luckenbill (p. 378)

[giannawritesxoxo]

The housemaid

Okay, let's talk about the book the housemaid by Freida Mcfadden.

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A young woman named Millie just got out of jail for the murder of a guy but it was sort of self-defense because the dude was forcing himself on the friend when the friend was saying no but he didn't stop so she grabbed a paperweight and hit him with it she got sentenced 10 years, By the time she got out she had to quickly find a job but many jobs didn't accept her because she was previously in jail, She became hopeless but then an opportunity of being a housemaid came up so she went to that interviewed and nailed it- She got worried because Nina ( Mrs. Winchester/andrews wife) didn't contact her back so she was currently still living in her car - When she got the job she immediately started and her love is in the attic but there's only a lock on the outside so she asked for a key because she was getting suspicious about that- Nina was starting lies about millie & saying how her daughter is allergic to peanut butter but in reality, she wasn't- She purposely made a mess so millie could reclean it up., Andrew and Nina were trying for a baby but they couldn't get pregnant, months later Millie and andrew grew feelings for each other which quickly made him wanna divorce nina because there wasnt a spark anymore- secrets came spilling out

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( SPOILERS BELOW)

YALL I CANT BELIEVE HOW FRIEDA DID THAT PLOT TWIST LIKE- DAMN MISS GIRL I FELL IN LOVE WITH THRILLERS BECAUSE OF THAT FANTASTIC AUTHOR AND THE WAY ANDREW WAS THE BAD PERSON ALL ALONG AND HOW HE MADE NINA THINK SHE WAS THE CRAZY ONE WHEN HE WAS CRAZY LIKE WTH AND TOWARDS THE END WHEN HE TOLD MILLIE TO PUT 3 HEAVY BOOKS ON HER LOWER STOMACH FOR 3 HOURS AND IF SHE DIDNT DO THAT SHE WOULD STAY IN THAT ATTIC WITHOUT FOOD OR WATER AND HOW HE TOLD NINA TO RIP OUT 3 PIECES OF HAIR WITH THE ROOT FROM HER HEAD AND IF SHE DIDNT OBEY SHE WOULD STAY IN THE ATTIC FOR LONGER & THAT WHEN NINA NEEDED TO FIND A REPLACEMENT TO LEAVE HIM FOR GOOD AND SHE HIRED MILLIE TO BE THE REPLACEMENT AND TO KILL HIM WITHOUT MILLIE KNOWING. IT WAS EPIC.

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LOTS OF LOVE, Gianna<33.