#Blogger ice carving
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Oh my gosh, I feel you. I only follow a handful of other proship people and have unfollowed so many people in the last couple of years. The proship/profic community has some serious issues, especially with ableism and sanism (and the antisemitism is just.... everywhere in fandom now). I literally feel too 'woke' and mentally ill to really want to engage with a lot of other proship people, but I'm in my 30s and I'm just not going to tolerate bigotry or cruelty any more.
You get it, anon. I used to be kinda tolerant of bullshit because I really felt like I had to choose between being proship/in proship communities and being openly part of marginalized communities and that if I was open about one, then I would be harassed for the other.
And I wasn't wrong about that lmao. Other NDNs and queers and disabled people don't want me because I'm a freak, the freaks don't want me because I won't compromise on bigotry, but I've realized that that's fine. I don't have to put up with it or try to please people who will never be satisfied, I can just carve out a little corner of the internet for myself and find other people who are chill and nice.
And yeah, as I'm getting older, the less tolerant I become of both drama and bigotry on my dashboard. I'm tired. I'm done writing essays for people who don't care, trying to explain to them why they're being bigoted. I'm done with seeing racist fan art and people justifying whitewashing and people being disgusting ableists and debates over whether nonbinary people are real. And I'm real fucking sick of the constant unchecked antisemitism at every corner now.
It's frustrating because my dashboard is like. Nearly empty of fandom bloggers now because I've unfollowed or blocked so many people over this shit and there's still a lot of people on my dashboard who are on thin fucking ice. It's just so hard finding people who aren't either antis or hateful bigots these days 😞
#and so many proshippers will be like 'follow me i'm nice!!' and then i look at their blog and they immediately get blocked lmao#anonymous
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Thank you for answering my asks. Here’s a hug for you 🤗
I have been thinking for a while about how Bran and Sansa are going to end up the story in power and Jon and Arya will be “exiled” but in Arya’s case is supposed to be voluntary? She is going on an adventure? 🚢
Idk, I just think Jon’s exile should be a choice, as in he is doing it for the good of the realm, but then Bran, or Sansa or both just pardon him eventually. In any case his ending should feel like a new beginning, like Arya’s. But I can’t imagine what could be a new beginning for the old institution of the Watch. Maybe some kind of reform? I prefer to think he would have some sort of purpose and that neither Sansa or Brandon will waste a good northern man who is so smart and that has proven his loyalty to the Starks.
Others bloggers have suggested he could have a role in repopulating the Gift. What do you think?
I just love Jon so much if you cannot tell 💖
I love the Gift theory. It gives me a lot of hope! @istumpysk has these two posts about it/Jon’s ending (1, 2) and @agentrouka-blog has two as well (1, 2 I'm sure there are more, but you know how tumblr is when it comes to searching!), and I definitely think there’s reason to believe it because of this:
Whether anti-Targaryen feelings were made worse by Queen Rhaenys Targaryen's efforts to knit together the new, single realm with marriages between the great houses is left to the reader to consider. That Torrhen Stark's daughter was wed to the young and ill-fated Lord of the Vale is wellknown; it was one of the many peace- binding marriages forged by Rhaenys. But there are letters preserved at the Citadel suggesting that Stark accepted these arrangements only after much protest, and that the bride's brothers refused to attend the wedding entirely.
Later still, it was said that the Starks were bitter at the Old King and Queen Alysanne for having forced them to carve away the New Gift and give it the Night's Watch; this may be one reason for why Lord Ellard Stark sided with Corlys Velaryon and Princess Rhaenys at the Great Council of 101 AC.
We have earlier discussed House Stark's role in the Dance of the Dragons. Let it be added that Lord Cregan Stark reaped many rewards for his loyal support of King Aegon III...even if it was not a royal princess marrying into his family, as had been agreed in the Pact of Ice and Firemade when the doomed prince Jacaerys Velaryon had flown to Winterfell upon his dragon.
Though in these days it is said that Lord Ellard Stark was glad to aid the Night's Watch with the Gift, and took little convincing, the truth is otherwise. Letters from Lord Stark's brother to the Citadel, asking the maesters to provide precedents against the forced donation of property, made it plain that the Starks were not eager to do as King Jaehaerys bid. It may be that the Starks feared that, under the control of the Castle Black, the New Gift would inevitably decline—for the Night's Watch would always look northward and never give much thought to their new tenants to the south. And as it happens, that soon came to pass, and the New Gift is now said to be largely unpopulated thanks to the decline of the Watch and the rising toll taken by raiders from beyond the Wall.
After the Dance of the Dragons, the Starks were more overtly loyal to the Targaryens than previously. Indeed, Lord Cregan Stark's son and heir fought beneath the Targaryen banner when the Young Dragon sought to conquer Dorne. Rickon Stark fought bravely, his deeds sometimes reported by King Daeron in his Conquest of Dorne, and Rickon's death outside of Sunspear in one of the final battles was lamented in the North for years to come because of the troubles that dogged the reigns of his half brothers. (The World of Ice and Fire - The North: The Lords of Winterfell)
Whether it’s chapter order pointing at future events, wordplay about R+L=J, Martin really likes his hints and sometimes, it’s very clear what exactly is on his mind because certain things are presented together, so when I saw this, that he’s talking about The Gift in close proximity to not only the Targ/Stark hostility but also the Pact of Ice and Fire, well, that feels like something. I know there’s meta on the Pact which I’m failing to find rn, but while the initial Targ/Stark union didn't happen, Rhaegar and Lyanna (however it transpired) kinda fulfilled it with Jon being the result. Basically, the author is thinking of Jon here. We know that in his mind, this stuff is connected. As far as I’m aware, this is the only place the pact is mentioned (I don’t have the supplemental books so that may not be the case), so to me, this gives a lot of credence to the idea that we’re being given insight into Jon’s origin, Jon’s participation in the Dance of Dragons 2.0, and Jon’s endgame. Jon is born of a Targaryen and Stark, Jon will help defeat the Targaryen invader, install a Stark as king, and Jon’s experiences thus far in the books show us why he would be the one to use the Gift in a way that benefits all. It fits pretty well.
The history of the Gift is in the series proper in a Bran chapter which makes me 👀
"Who holds this land?" Jojen asked Bran.
"The Night's Watch," he answered. "This is the Gift. The New Gift, and north of that Brandon's Gift." Maester Luwin had taught him the history. "Brandon the Builder gave all the land south of the Wall to the black brothers, to a distance of twenty-five leagues. For their . . . for their sustenance and support." He was proud that he still remembered that part. "Some maesters say it was some other Brandon, not the Builder, but it's still Brandon's Gift. Thousands of years later, Good Queen Alysanne visited the Wall on her dragon Silverwing, and she thought the Night's Watch was so brave that she had the Old King double the size of their lands, to fifty leagues. So that was the New Gift." He waved a hand. "Here. All this."
No one had lived in the village for long years, Bran could see. All the houses were falling down. Even the inn. It had never been much of an inn, to look at it, but now all that remained was a stone chimney and two cracked walls, set amongst a dozen apple trees. One was growing up through the common room, where a layer of wet brown leaves and rotting apples carpeted the floor. The air was thick with the smell of them, a cloying cidery scent that was almost overwhelming. Meera stabbed a few apples with her frog spear, trying to find some still good enough to eat, but they were all too brown and wormy.
It was a peaceful spot, still and tranquil and lovely to behold, but Bran thought there was something sad about an empty inn, and Hodor seemed to feel it too. "Hodor?" he said in a confused sort of way. "Hodor? Hodor?"
"This is good land." Jojen picked up a handful of dirt, rubbing it between his fingers. "A village, an inn, a stout holdfast in the lake, all these apple trees . . . but where are the people, Bran? Why would they leave such a place?"
"They were afraid of the wildlings," said Bran. "Wildlings come over the Wall or through the mountains, to raid and steal and carry off women. If they catch you, they make your skull into a cup to drink blood, Old Nan used to say. The Night's Watch isn't so strong as it was in Brandon's day or Queen Alysanne's, so more get through. The places nearest the Wall got raided so much the smallfolk moved south, into the mountains or onto the Umber lands east of the kingsroad. The Greatjon's people get raided too, but not so much as the people who used to live in the Gift."
Jojen Reed turned his head slowly, listening to music only he could hear. "We need to shelter here. There's a storm coming. A bad one." (ASOS, Bran III)
Seeing as Bran will be endgame king, this whole discussion of Brandon’s gift and the uncertainty of which Brandon it was….it all seems promising. And then we get some really juicy info in a Jon chapter:
"They died or went away." Brandon's Gift had been farmed for thousands of years, but as the Watch dwindled there were fewer hands to plow the fields, tend the bees, and plant the orchards, so the wild had reclaimed many a field and hall. In the New Gift there had been villages and holdfasts whose taxes, rendered in goods and labor, helped feed and clothe the black brothers. But those were largely gone as well.
"They were fools to leave such a castle," said Ygritte.
"It's only a towerhouse. Some little lordling lived there once, with his family and a few sworn men. When raiders came he would light a beacon from the roof. Winterfell has towers three times the size of that."
She looked as if she thought he was making that up. "How could men build so high, with no giants to lift the stones?"
In legend, Brandon the Builder had used giants to help raise Winterfell, but Jon did not want to confuse the issue. "Men can build a lot higher than this. In Oldtown there's a tower taller than the Wall." He could tell she did not believe him. If I could show her Winterfell . . . give her a flower from the glass gardens, feast her in the Great Hall, and show her the stone kings on their thrones. We could bathe in the hot pools, and love beneath the heart tree while the old gods watched over us.
The dream was sweet . . .but Winterfell would never be his to show. It belonged to his brother, the King in the North. He was a Snow, not a Stark. Bastard, oathbreaker, and turncloak . . .
"Might be after we could come back here, and live in that tower," she said. "Would you want that, Jon Snow? After?"
After. The word was a spear thrust. After the war. After the conquest. After the wildlings break the Wall . . .
His lord father had once talked about raising new lords and settling them in the abandoned holdfasts as a shield against wildlings. The plan would have required the Watch to yield back a large part of the Gift, but his uncle Benjen believed the Lord Commander could be won around, so long as the new lordlings paid taxes to Castle Black rather than Winterfell. "It is a dream for spring, though," Lord Eddard had said. "Even the promise of land will not lure men north with a winter coming on."
If winter had come and gone more quickly and spring had followed in its turn, I might have been chosen to hold one of these towers in my father's name. Lord Eddard was dead, however, his brother Benjen lost; the shield they dreamt together would never be forged. "This land belongs to the Watch," Jon said. (ASOS, Jon V)
It’s Stannis’s idea to bring the FF South of the Wall, but Jon agrees to it, does it, and causes some problems for himself that way. So, we have the fact that Ned recognized a problem, had a solution, and that Jon’s actions are a different solution to this problem. He’s neutralizing the threat because there is an even greater one and what allows him to do this is that he had the opportunity to befriend FF. He has a different perspective on them than the rest of the Westerosi. Also, he’s taking steps to make this a permanent situation because we already had Alys marry a man of the FF. So, instead of getting enough Northmen to settle the Gift so that they can defend against the FF better (fighting), Jon is solving this issue like a king would: marriages between the FF and Northerners. Considering how marriage alliances are used in the series to make the strongest alliances and secure peace, that those arrangements are called the business of kings… I don’t think that’s an accident.
I’ve mainly thought of Jon in terms of the shield that guards the Starks against the Targaryen threat, but the above quote calls the Gift a “shield” and it occurs to me that Jon is already shielding the realms of men via his decisions with the FF. Jon, in his choices, is the shield. And, looking forward, Jon is the one uniquely positioned to be able to maintain peace in a volatile arrangement. It’s the same goal achieved in a better way. While it may be Stannis who instigates it, we know Jon, with his insight into their ways and affection for the FF would be the person, the only person, who might make this situation work post war. And of course, it is there, in the gift, in that chapter, that Jon remembers Ned’s teachings and cannot kill an innocent man, “This was the Gift, protected by the Night’s Watch and the power of Winterfell. A man should have been free to build a fire here, without dying for it.” (ASOS, Jon V) which is very interesting because that means Ned’s instructions from the beginning of AGOT are carried out in Jon’s actions here, just after we learn about Ned’s hopes for the Gift. I think it’s reasonable to believe that Martin intends to use Jon to fulfill Ned’s wishes in other ways.
That’s plenty to chew on, but let’s add one more thing and actually look at Stannis’s plan:
"Whilst your brothers have been struggling to decide who shall lead them, I have been speaking with this Mance Rayder." He ground his teeth. "A stubborn man, that one, and prideful. He will leave me no choice but to give him to the flames. But we took other captives as well, other leaders. The one who calls himself the Lord of Bones, some of their clan chiefs, the new Magnar of Thenn. Your brothers will not like it, no more than your father's lords, but I mean to allow the wildlings through the Wall . . . those who will swear me their fealty, pledge to keep the king's peace and the king's laws, and take the Lord of Light as their god. Even the giants, if those great knees of theirs can bend. I will settle them on the Gift, once I have wrested it away from your new Lord Commander. When the cold winds rise, we shall live or die together. It is time we made alliance against our common foe." He looked at Jon. "Would you agree?"
"My father dreamed of resettling the Gift," Jon admitted. "He and my uncle Benjen used to talk of it." He never thought of settling it with wildlings, though . . . but he never rode with wildlings, either. He did not fool himself; the free folk would make for unruly subjects and dangerous neighbors. Yet when he weighed Ygritte's red hair against the cold blue eyes of the wights, the choice was easy. "I agree."
"Good," King Stannis said, "for the surest way to seal a new alliance is with a marriage. I mean to wed my Lord of Winterfell to this wildling princess." (ASOS, Jon XI)
Obviously, Jon is a little stubborn too, and rejects the offer of Winterfell and the opportunity to marry Val, but it’s interesting to me Jon rejects Winterfell because it belongs to Sansa who will be in possession of it sooner or later. And by the end of ADWD Jon is the one with close ties to the FF, they swore loyalty to him, they were ready to fight with him, so really, there’s set up to use the same method Stannis suggests above to achieve peace, only, with a twist. Jon isn’t the means to take Winterfell, he’s the link to the FF. In one of the post I linked from agentrouka, she suggested a Jonsa marriage would unify the North and being that Sansa is present in the above (without being mentioned, she comes up later), and considering how Jon tells himself Ned would want him to restore Winterfell which reads an awful lot like another wish from Ned to be fulfilled by Jon...there’s a lot of stuff this theory ties into.
To make all that extra cute is that it also works as another revisit to the Pact of Ice and Fire because we could get a real Stark/Targ union, one that actually brings peace instead of contributing to war. Also, the little detail of Ned’s plans being dubbed “a dream for spring” almost feels intentional on the author’s part considering that he’s planning to name the last book, “A Dream of Spring.” 👀
I’ve said many times that I accept the show’s endgame as Martin’s, and I’ve enjoyed smarter people than me finding the foreshadowing for Arya’s and Jaime/Cersei’s (same idea, different place), but I’ve also said that Jon’s ending feels wrong and that if D&D fabricated one, it was his. I haven’t convinced myself that that's what happened, but if we think about how little D&D cared about Jon or the Starks, the political situation, or anything positive really, it’s possible that what they gave us was their own confused interpretation of some variation of the Gift theory.
I love Jon too, so here’s hoping!
And hugs to you too!!!
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Things that should be said because even though it’s 2020 there are still racist homophobic humans in the world who think they are better then others because they think like flat earthers in the 21st century
Black Lives Matter
Tear down racist statues they are monuments to bad guys
History can stay in the books for all i care
Police brutality exists and needs to be checked
istg if i see one more “all lives matter” comment
if god hated gays why did they make them
God is nonbianary because they made us in their image and there are males females and nonbianary humans on earth
WITCHES DON’T WORSHIP SATAN its 2020 guys i thought we were past this.
please think before you speak
no means no, apparently we tend to forget this after elementary school
everyone is valid in their sexualities and genders
the earth is not flat we have scientific evidence of this guys
google is a search engine not a answer engine
cite wikipedia’s sources not wikipedia
Kpop is music stop making fun of its stans just because they like it
stop asking VAs about how to become one after trashing on their jobs
just because someone’s asian doesn’t mean they started covid or eat cats
stop being racist
stop blaming victims for what happened to them and teach men to be decent human beings
white people are literally genetic mutations of black people how are we better than them they were here first
america stole its land from natives and hates immigrants when we all started as immigrants
Mt. Rushmore is actually sacred land to native americans and we just carved into it but get upset when someone puts a little stray sprray paint mark on a bridge
the trail of tears was a literal and cultural genocide for native americans and personally i think Jackson can jump off a microwave
bi and pan aren’t the same thing (i’ll get to this in another post)
depression can not be cured with sunshine or just drinking more water
genocides still happen in the world Rawanda wasn't the last one and the UN still doesn’t do anything
humans deserve basic rights
a lot of immigrant and refugee camps are like actual concenration camps from WW2 just more modern
Look up the ICE thing going on, just do it
Aliens existence has been proven
Megan you aren’t a crackhead you’re just annoying
be respectful of other’s opinions
you aren’t changing someone’s beliefs over dinner so shut up about politics please
check your privilege people god
stop using the n word if you’re white you aren’t being cool you’re being racist and ignorant
stop using slurs in general
some peeps in (Jacksonville i think) Florida stole a SWAT car during a riot so that was lit
Stop giving phone to kids under the age of 11 that’s my personal belief
fictional men tend to be better than real ones (correct me if you want but i’m not letting go of them)
human trafficking and world hunger is still a thing
some adoption agencies aren’t giving kids to gay couples but are approving adoptions to toxic homes
we need feminism please check why
be nice to those who work in retail or restaurants
bullying needs to be resolved with more than just posters
stop steriotyping
plus size people are pretty too
stop shaming females because they don’t follow “the beauty standard”
stop normalizing bad things and bad behavior
“boys will be boys” and should be repremanded for their actions like everyone else
no more double standards
there are still nazis out there
wear a mask please
drink respect women juice with kermit the frog
all hail cuthulu
HI THERE!
I’m ravioli pasta you’re every day average blogger, artist, and writer.
I am a white cis female panromantic who came out of the closet to my mother two years ago, supports BLM, Me Too, is very feminist, hates the cheeto man, is a baby witch trying to learn before i start anything, and i do my best to edumacate myself before picking sides.
please feel free to add anything to this list if you think i missed something
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How about some talent swapped DHVS headcanons? The following will be swapped: Ishikawa and Kazuhiko, Abe and Rikimaru, Ueda and Matsumoto, Aoyama and Sasaki, Yoshida and Kadoshima, Hamasaki and Fujimoto, Oshiro and Maeda, and Saito and Nakamura.
Heck yes! Where I am writing this now, Yasu’s pronouns are he/him so I’m going with those here!
Camila Ishikawa (Massage Therapist):
She’s very calm, reflecting her talent.
She’s a keep-the-peace kind of person, and that means helping everyone else relax.
Still, she’s forceful when she needs to be.
Kazuhiko Ikeda (Linguist):
Ikeda is chill, and doesn’t study a whole lot.
He picks up languages almost like second nature.
He barely needs to try to learn them.
Fumito Abe (Hairstylist):
He’s a neat freak when it comes to hair.
He’s intense, but all he wants is to help others look their best.
Sometimes he can be a bit rude, but he doesn’t mean to be.
Kirika Rikimaru (Historian):
She’s kind of snarky about her talent.
She thinks she’s the most intelligent of her classmates.
She’ll never back down to a history trivia challenge. She’ll always win.
Miyuki Ueda (Carpenter):
Ueda is always using her nervous energy to carve something.
She’s made so many amazingly sturdy things.
She’s pretty strong because of her talent.
Takeshi Matsumoto (Figure Skater):
It’s almost hard to tell what his talent is from the outside.
He talks about the ice a lot, but never enough to overwhelm anyone.
He has a true commitment to his talent.
Nozomu Aoyama (Herbalist):
Aoyama would much rather spend time with his garden than people.
He’s not very pleasant, much like some of the bitter herbs he grows.
He cultivates life, so he feels like he’s better than a lot of his classmates.
Hanayo Sasaki (Blogger):
Just as she comes off online, she’s a nice girl.
Her blog is pretty focused around positivity.
She’d like to think she’s the same way.
Etsuko Yoshida (Friend):
Yoshida is the kind of person who just makes friends easily.
Even with her jokes and somewhat foul mouth, she has a lot of good friends.
She hopes that she’s as good a friend to all of them.
Yasu Kadoshima (Lucky Student):
Yasu doesn’t really count himself as lucky.
His talent hasn’t exactly been kind to him.
Still, he stays positive that it could turn into good luck in the future.
Utako Hamasaki (Songwriter):
She loves sharing her talent with anyone who will listen.
Of course, she doesn’t force it onto anyone.
But who doesn’t like a good song?
Hidekazu Fujimoto (Guitarist):
He’s pretty shy about his talent.
Nobody hears it until he’s ready to play for them.
Once he plays, though, he’s swept away in it.
Amaya Oshiro (Track Star):
She may be short, but she’s super fast.
Sometimes, her speed is a little scary.
She loves showing it off, though.
Hayao Maeda (Astrologist):
He’s definitely superstitious, and doesn’t let anyone forget it.
Still, he doesn’t do anything 100% without being sure about it.
He definitely can be both scared and scary almost back-to-back.
Kagami Saito (Charmer):
She has a definite way with words.
However, she keeps a lot of them to herself.
She would prefer to take in more information than to give it out.
Ikuo Nakamura (Archer):
He doesn’t talk much about his talent.
Everyone knows he’s a perfect shot though.
He’s pretty assured about that fact.
#answered ask#anon#headcanons#camila ishikawa#kazuhiko ikeda#fumito abe#kirika rikimaru#miyuki ueda#takeshi matsumoto#nozomu aoyama#hanayo sasaki#etsuko yoshida#yasu kadoshima#utako hamasaki#hidekazu fujimoto#amaya oshiro#hayao maeda#kagami saito#ikuo nakamura#danganronpa#dvhs#fangan
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What systemic racism in the British beauty industry looks like
Remember when Black Lives Matter content filled up the feeds of your preferred social platform? While the message still burdens many within the black community — as well as some allies — on a daily basis, for many it is business as usual; even one of my regular online beauty go-to’s has that in their homepage banner. I’m sure it’s more about things being back to ‘some kind’ of normal post-Covid, but who knows? To me, it seems like everyone is tired and weary of the triggering message of BLM and I believe that’s a sign that, if systems are not changed, things are likely to return to what they used to be, the word diversitybecoming one of those words people say out loud while using air quotes. I’ve already written about my own personal experience as a mixed/black woman in the beauty world, but I wanted to try and tackle the systems within the beauty industry. If I’ve missed anything, let me know!
Brands/Agencies Throughout the early days of BLM, brands and agencies around the globe paid close attention to where their ads were appearing. It wasn’t a moral stance however; brands had learned that ads placed near George Floyd or protest-related content, monetized at 57%* lower than other news content. The investment simply wasn’t worth it and words/phrases such as Black Lives Matter, George Floyd, Minneapolis and Black people were put on industry blocklists. While blocklists surely began as a way for the industry to ensure it wasn’t placing insensitive ads, in 2020 brands are using them purely because of the bottom line; revenue.
For me, the brands that have stood out during BLM are the ones that are more thoughtful in how they can help, long-term. Praise was given to Emily Weiss of Glossier for starting a grant for black-owned beauty businesses. Another stand-out show of support came from Caroline Hirons, a brand in her own right.
Hirons is known as the queen of skincare amongst the UK press — and she knows that is a very white press. She took a few days to get her ‘ducks in a row’, early on when BLM was being heavily supported, ensuring her donations were able to have Gift Aid applied (more of the cash actually going to the organisation), before announcing that she would be giving 100 percent of the 2020 proceeds from her best-selling Double Cleanse with Pixi to Black Lives Matter. Pixi duly matched her donation.
But for every positive there were several embarrassing examples of how notto do it. I don’t have the time or energy to give a comprehensive list of just how many brands got it so wrong during the days that followed #blackouttuesday for instance.
I’m not about forcing anyone to do anything, because if you don’t care, why would I want your help? For me the blame lays with brands who have the means to send out the right messages on the daily via social and in the media. It wasn’t just about calling out RMS Beauty on their Instagram for hiring such an insensitive social media manager. It was more about checking out the feeds of Maybelline, Chanel Beauty, etc, etc, and seeing if they had ever shown diversity in their campaigns. The results were lacklustre to say the least, but, if there was one truly classic example of what not to do, the medal would go to Marcia Kilgore (founder of Beauty Pie, Fit Flop, Bliss). I’ve been a diehard fan of Kilgore and her work ethic for years and I’ve lost count of how many interviews I’ve listened to of Kilgore sharing her business journey.
But throughout BLM I’ve seen some shockers coming from (seemingly) Kilgore’s own hand. I’ve been sent screenshots of comments on Instagram (later deleted) including one that shows Kilgore using the shrugs emoji. One of Beauty Pie’s diehard (white) fans just didn’t get why Beauty Pie was receiving negative feedback after not standing up soon enough or strongly enough for BLM. Kilgore replied to her fan with the shrug — she might as well have said: ‘gee, we just can’t seem to please these people.’
The Influencer Whether you love influencer culture or not, it’s clear that, for now, it’s here to stay. Mostly dominated by (white) women, with some being worth over £4million here in the UK, whatever their chosen area of specialisation, there seems to be a very cookie-cutter approach as to what and who’s adored and accepted. Look at wellness, look at fashion, and of course, beauty, and you’ll find that the popular accounts are usually owned by very blonde, very slim women. Life is just one long Instagram Story compiled of working out in Lululemon, wearing makeup from an expensive brand that’s never looked past 10 shades, sipping an iced green tea and getting your wedding paid for by your clever agency rep who’s reached out to countless companies that are guaranteed to find you so palatable and on-brand.
Now, I am not coming for these women; these women can exist alongside the women that I choose to follow — the women that can and do in fact influence me and how I purchase, whether they get paid or not. And there’s the rub. Brands have been making tons of excess profits from women of colour who just love that brand — essentially unpaid micro influencers.
As a self-confessed beauty addict, I know the allure of the ‘next big thing’. I know how it is when you feel, or felt, that that brand actually understood you. When that new shiny purchase arrives from the likes of Glossier, you’re like, ‘hey friend’, and off you go, sharing your unboxing for your fellow beauty enthusiasts to swoon over in the comments.
Like I said, many true beauty influencers are micro influencers, doing their thing purely for the love, and not a pay check, but that’s in sharp contrast to those who are actually paid to do so. These paid influencers put in the work, styling their stories to appeal to their audience and also the audience of the brand that’s paying them.
One such influencer, someone I’ve been following a while as I enjoyed her fresh aesthetic, is also a PR. To be fair to her, I’d become so used to seeing her bounce across fields of tulips and daisies, that I wasn’t expecting anything from her when it came to ‘real life’. However, I did happen to see her Instagram Stories late one night, where she ‘appeared’ to be crying about BLM. I say appeared because honestly, I’ve seen better performances at my nephew’s nativity play. I even recorded the crying just to check I wasn’t being too dismissive.
The next day I saw that she’d finally posted an image she’d found elsewhere (i.e. not spent time creating) and given information on how to donate and research. It all seemed very rushed and frankly, I imagine that zero attention was given to the words. I wondered if she’d been pressured to post, and apparently she had been, after being tagged in a post that prompted people to call out influencers and brands who weren’t stepping up.
She dutifully posted a black square when it was ‘expected’ of her on #blackouttuesday — which she has since deleted.
On top of that, behind the scenes she was contacting various bloggers — I can’t confirm race ratios. She sent DMs that did not address the individual, did not ask the person how they were doing at this truly tiring and stressful time. Instead she asked if they were supporting black-owned brands (she asked this of a mixed-race woman who identified as black and had been posting tons of information on her Stories…) Clueless, lazy — or worse?
She mentions in the DM that one of her clients is a black-owned business and asks if the blogger might be interested in talking about it. The following day I kept wondering, ‘okay, if you’re so supportive, why not post about this black-owned brand on your own feed?’ Or, how about you offer your services to black-owned businesses at a reduced rate? Not because you should, but because, after all, you are performing as if you care.
**Dominique, a black, London-based PR shared her thoughts on how her frequent social media support of a beauty brand (self-created and not paid for, purely because she wanted to), soon started to feel as if she was being treated as a token when she was shown as the only black face in the company’s newsletter. She also tells me of a black influencer in the UK who had been promised payment for several pieces of promo work and yet had gone unpaid and ignored. It wasn’t until her loyal followers bombarded the brand’s social media platforms that the brand paid her, in full, with no argument, or apology.
“It’s so intrinsic, and so embedded,” says Dominique. “Whether it’s content creation or Instagram — which is the first port of call for every business — it’s also the tech, it’s the algorithms used. It’s the influencers, it’s the appropriation, it’s the fact that black influencers aren’t on PR lists, and aren’t being paid the same rates.”
Dominique also talks of the pressure of ‘black guilt’ that black influencers and creators can feel: “You kind of hope and root for the brands that you spend your money on, that you will see a change. And then also, you kind of assimilate in your feed to try and see if that’s gonna help you build a following. I’ve done it. Black people have learned to compartmentalise to survive and it comes down to assimilating and trying not to broadcast your blackness.”
The PR I think, in some ways, the power of the beauty industry PRs often goes unnoticed. These are people who are in the business of carving out a niche for a brand, making it the ‘next big thing’; they advise clients on everything, from tone of voice to the right faces to use in an ad campaign to which influencers to send product to, and which influencers to offer lucrative ambassadorships to.
As most UK PR firms are owned by white men and women, it’s easy to see why inclusivity might not even enter their heads. Why would it? Let’s not forget, for decades the ideal beauty has been that of a very Eurocentric look. PR firms, alongside the rest of the industry, play their part in affirming this beauty standard — it isn’t their job to actually change it. But with more and more voices calling for change, and in the era of cancel culture, PRs are likely to be forced into taking a more active role.
For example, the labeling of BLM being a political rather than human issue by the head of CrossFit was clearly a PR nightmare of huge proportions, and no-one in the multi-billion dollar beauty industry wants that to happen to them. As a recent article on the Business of Fashion stated; too often public relations execs go along with what their client wants, and if ever they do try to steer the client in another direction they are often left unsupported or removed from the account completely.
The Magazines As someone who’s been a hair and beauty editor and writer for 15 years, I’ve seen a lot of trends come and go. But one trend that remains the same is that of the ‘spot the black journo in the room’. While things may be slightly more progressive in the US, here in the UK I can say that I have never seen more than three black or non-white journalists at a press event at the same time. And don’t get me started on the staff within the publications themselves.
I remember when former British Vogue editor-in-chief Alexandra Shulman shared an image of her team in celebration of her last issue in 2017 — with not one black or brown face. I had long stopped my subscription to British Vogue, but when her replacement, Edward Enninful arrived, the man who had inspired me for years during his time at i-D magazine, I bought each issue with renewed excitement; oh how things would change!
But Enninful is one black man. And when Enninful himself is racially profiled while entering the doors of Conde Nast, you know that the problem goes way deeper. Add to that the fact that Vogue is still going to have to bow to its advertisers — the brands that keep it in print. It’s not us with our £2 ‘special price’ purchases that are keeping Vogue and others like it alive.
Elsewhere on Instagram, former Glamour editor Jo Elvin was bemoaning the fact that it wasn’t always the editor’s fault that there were no black models on the cover. Elvin said that black models often declined being on the cover (am guessing maybe it was because it was a pretty crap magazine back then?) because they ‘thought it would hurt their chances of getting covers with the high-end mags’.
And what is wrong with that? It’s far tougher for a black woman to get a Vogue cover, so if that’s that model’s goal, what’s it to Elvin and her crew? Perhaps they could seek out an unknown, rather than relying on the top three black faces over and over? Thankfully, Elvin was prompted to elaborate on her flippant comments, by none other than the aforementioned Caroline Hirons. Hirons ended by telling Elvin that the numbers don’t add up, and that bias is ‘systemic in Conde.’
I remember once going for a meeting with an online brand I avidly read. Naturally I was excited and flattered to be told: ‘you look so [insert brand name here]!’ as if I had just earned a special badge. Aside from the flattery, it really meant a lot to me and I was genuinely excited at the opportunity to write and shoot for them. I left the building buzzing, but over the coming weeks, my numerous pitches seemed to fall on deaf ears. ‘Hmm, she’s probably really, really, busy,’ I told myself.
Weeks later I noticed a new name on their writer roster and wondered if the fact that she was also mixed race was something to do with it; perhaps two was one too many? I think this is something we see and fear in many industries, but especially within fashion and beauty. While a non-black editor might enjoy being seen as the progressive one, he or she might also be nervous of ‘opening the gates’ and only employing non-white people! I’ve heard this from several black and brown people in the industry also. Once you get that role, you want to keep it both for career and financial reasons.
It’s clear that, across the board, work needs to be done, and we also need the work that is supposedly being done, to continue. It makes me nervous to see brands jumping on the Diversity Officer job role, while only offering six-month contracts. Does this mean that they hope BLM will just go away and people will just stop expecting their voices to be heard and their rights acknowledged? Are we all just so nostalgic over what normal used to be that we’d rather enter another year with blinders on?
It’s okay to admit that you’re completely unprepared for this fight. If you’ve never had to care about this fight, I get that. But whether you chose to use #blackouttuesday to gain some new fans, or you actually wanted to begin making lasting change, it’s clear, it’s going to take a lot more than a black square followed by vague epithets. Show the work; talk to your audience. Literally no-one can claim to be perfect right now, but if you want to build an anti-racist brand, take the steps, because we are all watching.
*Statistic taken from this NPR article: https://www.npr.org/2020/06/27/884213471/why-advertisers-wont-run-ads-on-black-lives-matter-content?t=1597134345822
** Name has been changed
Image: Photo by Hazel Olayres on Unsplash
This article also appears on Medium
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Wonderful day Carving ice #ice https://ift.tt/2NjLdhf
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Peony Bakes a Doll Cake
A few weeks ago I shared that I’d been watching Nailed It! on Netflix and saw an episode where the contestants had to make a doll cake.
(Hate prefaces? Skip straight to the cake.)
(Doll cakes: the cake is shaped like a tallish dome, a doll is inserted in the top, and the whole thing is decorated to look like the doll’s dress. Recently learned that in some places this is known as a Dolly Varden cake. Here’s an example:

This is from the Wilton website. It’s really frosted in royal icing but the idea is that you can make this using buttercream.
Doll cakes like these are typically Barbie-sized. This particular cake is made with Wilton’s “Wonder Mold” specialty pan and a doll pick. (The doll is just a torso on a pick, so you can just pop her in the top of the cake.) People often make these using full-size dolls - you wrap her legs, carve a hole in the top of the cake and there you go. I’ve also seen examples using smaller cake skirts and smaller dolls, and some pros who make their own dolls out of fondant and gum past.
To make the skirt, you can also use a mixing bowl as a pan, or make a tall layer cake and carve the shape.
So there’s a lot of variables: the shape of the skirt, the doll, your success in getting the doll in the cake, your skill at designing a dress and rendering it in buttercream.... But it’s pretty obvious how much kid-pleasing potential’s in there, especially if it looks like a favorite princess character. Cake + icing + lots and lots of frills + doll = happiness. The blogger at Mid-Century Menu (home of the tomato soup cake recipe) recently had a doll cake birthday party for her daughter and it’s just too cute. )
....Now where were we? ( I once attended a talk where the presenter remarked, “My digressions have digressions.” #relatable ) Oh yes. Watching Nailed It!, feeling a little sorry for the contestants (they really didn’t have enough time) and then realizing... I’ve never made a doll cake. I have a son, and the cakes I’ve made for girls weren’t doll cakes.
And suddenly, I just really, really, really wanted to make a doll cake. And I had no appropriate occasions coming up...
...until I got invited to a little party a couple of weeks ago. It was like a Tupperware party, but for jewelry, and that was okay with me because now I had an excuse to make a cake!
Disclaimers: it’s been a while since I’ve done any fancy piping, I’ve never made a doll cake before, and there were a couple of other techniques I was experimenting with as well. This is a mini doll cake - her skirt is 1-4 servings of cake, depending on how hungry you are, and the layer cake she’s standing on is 6 inches across.
Meet Miss Aqua Frost:
She’s a mini doll pick, sized for the mini skirt pan (my mom passed on her old pan to me. Digression - the pan makes 4 mini cakes, and one year she made cakes iced like the house of straw, the house of sticks, one of the pigs, and the wolf. SO. CUTE.) Frosting is all buttercream. I didn’t bother styling her hair beyond sticking some floral wire in it to get it out of the way.
I’ve never been good at ruffles, so I wanted to include ruffles just to practice. The dress and the cakes are made using a technique I came across recently called “watercolor”, where you put blobs of various colors on the side of the cake and then smooth them out. Kind of pleased but there was too much aqua.
I tried carving her skirt a little and then realized, no, I didn’t want to do that, so that’s why the shape might look a little wonky.
The white stuff on top of the cake is candy. I wanted to try a drip cake (example). I came across instructions for using candy melts (”so easy!”)
Well, let’s just say the next time I try this it won’t be with candy melts. When I melted them, they weren’t quite runny enough to make an elegant drip and puddle, but I was worried that if I melted them longer, they would completely melt the buttercream and/or scorch. Another drawback to the candy melts is that it makes it hard to slice the cake - and it adds a degree of sweetness that really isn’t necessary. If I try this again it will be with ganache.
The sparking sugar is for the theme of the party. (Was delighted that the hostess noticed and made the connection :) )
The cake itself was the tomato soup cake with raspberry filling. The cake was tasty, the hostess and the people at the party were delighted with the decoration, I learned stuff, and a good time was had by all. And now I’ve gotten that out of my system.
For now.
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CC Blogger - New Arrivals @ Collectors Corner : Wednesday - 8/7/19
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DK PUBLISHING LEGO Star Wars Build Your Own Adventure Galactic Missions With Mini Figure HC, $24.99
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GAMES
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Diary Of A Dutiful Daughter
I wrote these posts on Blogger years ago but am now shifting them all over here.
This first one is about my sister who has Downs Syndrome. My mother, her carer, had died a few years before, leaving my brother and I in a state of real concern about how she, and we, would cope in our mum’s absence. The post tells some of how we did.
My sister, my mate.
The day my sister was born was the day I grew up.
Not physically. I was still in buckskin shoes and ankle socks. But it was the day my brother and I passed into my mother’s out-tray. The day my mother cut our invisible chord and wrapped it tight round my sister’s pale sick heart.
My sister had arrived as the ambulancemen were carrying my mum out of the high rise and into the forecourt. My cousin was there when it happened. We were upstairs - 6 floors up - watching my aunt’s black and white television. (I have no memory of what was on.) My cousin said my sister’s tiny body was the same colour as her best lilac blouse.
The day we found out my sister was Downs was the same day Neil Armstrong lifted off for the moon. My brother and I sat in the car outside the hospital eating opal fruits. (None of your Starbursts then!) I watched my parents go in as one thing and come out, one lifetime later, as another. It was their body language. My father was more hunched. And my mother’s eyes were red.
She would tell me later that the hospital offered to take my sister ‘away.’ (Who knows where ‘away’ was. It was the 60’s.) But that was never on the cards. One of my mum’s repeated litanies was ‘What’s for you, won’t go by you!’ She lived by it. And so did we.
They got back in our wine red Ford Anglia and we drove to Stevenston. To my Aunt Mamie and Uncle Davie’s caravan. They weren’t real relatives but they were my parent’s best friends. Chosen relatives. They had experience of disability. They had Anna. Not their own child but their niece. We’d grown up with her too. Anna was blind, couldn’t walk and had the learning age of a 5 year old. She was 25. And we loved her.
It was summer. We played football, ran on the stones, ate ice cream cones and fell out with my ‘cousins’ while inside the caravan my mum wept. On the journey home it was pitch black and my brother and I sat in the back, noses pressed to glass, watching the moon. “Are they there yet?" "Bet I see them walking on it before you do!" "How much?” In the front my mum and dad sat silent. They must have felt their future as black as the sky.
My parents were told she wouldn’t last the year. My dad was working in Nigeria at the time. An electrician by trade he’d decided there was no future in Greenock so he’d gone abroad to carve a living. By the time my sister was born he’d worked and lived rough in Pakistan, East Africa and Nigeria. It was another one of my mum’s litanies. ‘I’ll say this for your dad, he’s a good provider’. She meant it as a compliment.
Now we had a crisis. Did my dad go back and leave us all here? To wait for my sister to die. As always my mother took control. She swept us all up and off we went. To Nigeria. My brother went to a local school. I taught myself by correspondance course. My tutor was in Australia. I did the work, put it in the post and he marked it. It took three weeks for a composition to come back. I was my own mistress. I loved every single minute of it.
Just as well, because my mum had other things on her plate. Her mission, which she embraced with a passion, was to prove the doctors wrong. By the time we went back to Scotland, on leave, my sister was walking, talking, even swimming and the murmur in her heart had gone.
My sister was my mum’s life and her achievement. I wrote a film about the intensity of their relationship. I was with them when they both watched it for the first time. When it was over she turned to my sister and said, "That’s not you, you know. You’ve got better manners".
But it was my sister on the screen. And my mum. And ‘Kenny’ was me. I was working through my anger and my love. Selfish, I know. Just like the characters in my story, my mother had kept my sister close and safe. She was bright, artistic, talented, kind, polite, funny and happy. But she’d never been left alone for as much as five minutes. She’d never been out of my mother’s sight. She’d never been to a Centre, never mixed with other Downs people, had never made her own dinner, picked her own clothes or crossed the road by herself. And all those chickens came home to roost when the fictional events of my story became the facts of our lives.
The week the film premiered in Glasgow my mum was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. Her response was characteristic. "We need to talk". She didn’t cry that day. Well, not in front of me. She died two and a half years later. She’d been given six months. But she held on, determined not to leave my sister. I lied to my mother more in that time than at any other in my lifetime. (And I’d lied to her a lot.) I promised her I would keep things exactly as they had always been. I would keep my sister close and safe. I needed my mum to die in peace.
My sister and my dad lived with us for two months after she’d gone. Two months. That’s all. But we were all on top of one another. No one could breathe. My husband and I couldn’t work. My excuses choked me. So they went back to their own flat and I drove the thirty miles to see them every day. My mother’s ashes were in the boot of my car. To chide and comfort me.
I got social workers involved. They provided carers. Sometimes three different ones in the same week. My cousin rallied round. Without her we could not have managed. My sister learnt to use the microwave and clean the toilet. She made sure my dad didn’t fall over or set the house on fire. She hid his cigarettes and dished them out one by one. She’s my mother to the root. She discovered a love of baking. Though we had to draw the line after she baked four huge banana cakes in one week and polished them off by herself.
I gave her money but she bought all their food and choose her own clothes. I arrived one day to find her feeding our demented dad a sandwich of avocado, chicken, tinned salmon AND beetroot. Another day she went out wearing pink velour joggers with a swingy leopardskin jacket. She’s four foot eight and weighs twelve stone. I could feel my mother’s disapproval in the bite of the air. We had what we euphemistically call ‘blips’. We had tears and tantrums. Both of us. In spades. She was living a late onset adolescence. My dad had early onset dementia. It was an interesting time.
Then I committed the most cardinal of sins and enrolled her in college. She was 38. The ghost of my mother was two steps behind her the first time we walked down the corridor. The room at the end was full of other adults with a variety of learning difficulties. Some were Downs. The first thing my sister learnt was that she was part of another family and that we were not all there was.
Now she’s about to go into her third year. This year will prepare her for work. She’s just been nominated as a finalist in Scotland’s Adult Learning Awards. My knee jerk reaction, apart from pride, was to tell her not to be disappointed if she didn’t win. I followed that up with a quick ‘what’s for you, wont go by you!‘ Her response was swift. "Who do you think you are? My mother?"
If I think back to that night in the car, the night the astronauts were on their way to the moon, I remember exactly how I felt about having a sister with Downs. I’m ashamed to say my major disappointment was based on the fact I might not be able to dress her up in pretty clothes. Last week she tried on my favourite little black Ghost dress and looked fantastic in it. She’s wearing it to her award dinner next Tuesday.
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random larsadie headcanon
so anyway i was bullshitting in a larsadie discord when someone asked for prompts. i was like, lol, “lars and sadie go to church”.
but now that’s it has been like a day i was thinking about it, and.. actually wow!! cute! cutecutecuuuuute!!!! i like this idea actually!!!
idk about all the specifics but i love the idea of Lars being Roman Catholic (the most common religious identity in the Philippines). i can imagine Sadie making an Easter basket for Lars, and coming over early on the holiday morning to drop it off. She goes to knock on the door, but Lars swings it open before she does, wearing a nice short-sleeve dark blue button up and black dress slacks. He blinks down at her, a faint trace of annoyance held at bay by his early morning grogginess. She kinda snorts at first, surprised to see him in clothes like that, but admittedly kind of thinks he looks cute dressed up like that. “Uh, hey. I put together this basket for you and your parents,” she lifts the basket up so he can see. He blushes juuuust a little bit, taking it from her. “Oh, cool, thanks...” is all he can manage to spit out b4 his parents come from behind him, also dressed in their Easter best.
“Oh, Laramie, who’s this?” Martha asks, delighted. “I think it’s that young lady we saw him run into the Universe household with,” Dante says, then looking to Sadie.
“Haha yeah, um, my name is Sadie, actually. Nice to meet you-meet you,” she smiles shyly, realizing she hasn’t really interacted with them to this extent.
“Happy Easter!” Lars’ parents say in unison, and Sadie begins to wish them a happy one in return but Martha gasps, saying, “Oh, we’re running late!” and she scoots her lil mens out the door, shutting it behind them. Lars is still holding the basket, his face becoming redder and redder as the embarrassment of the entire situation starts waking him up fully. Sadie notices his state and steps aside, allowing the Barrigas space to get to their car in the driveway. She tentatively waves, and Lars exaperately waves back, shuffling over to the car. As soon as he opens the back door, his mom cheerfully asks Sadie if she would like to come with them to Easter service.
Lars, of course, turns into a solid block of ice and shatters into about three million pieces. Naturally, he can’t protest like that. >:3c
“Oh, wow,” Sadie stammers, smiling bigger than before. “That’s so nice of you! Really, I, I would like to come, but...” she gestures at her clothes, a plain light grey tee shirt and blue jean shorts. “I feel like this isn’t appropriate attire, heh,”
Lars relaxes just a bit, curling around the inside of the opened car door and watching this interaction with narrow eyes. If he thought he was escaping such an awkward situation as bringing his crush to EASTER MASS with his PARENTS, an already pretty embarrassing situation, well.. he had quite another thing coming.
“Oh hunny, a pretty package doesn’t always need a bow, but...” Martha reaches into her hair, unclasping a white wooden hairclip decorated with beautiful carved sampaguitas (national flower of the Philippines). She leans down, and as though there were much more familiarity between the two women then there truly is, Martha secures the clip just above and behind Sadie’s left ear. “There,” she said, clasping her hands together in giddiness. “You look perfect! You can sit in the back with Laramie. :)” Lars slams himself over to one side of the car as Sadie curiously climbs in their car, fastening her safety belt. Her entire face pink, a small smirk creeping at the corners of her mouth, she glances at Lars’ fumbling hands around the basket in his lap, his flustered expression only revealed to her from his reflection in the window. ‘Guess I better text my mom,’ Sadie thinks to herself as she pulls out her phone.
‘I am SO not going with them next year, oh my god,’ repeats in Lars’ head the entire drive.
---
I thought it would be really cute that after that experience, Sadie might consider why she and her mother aren’t religious. She one day gets the moxie to ask her mother about it, and Barb mentions that she was raised Lutheran Protestant, but as she grew older religion didn’t really have much of a place in her life. Sadie is almost satisfied but then she courageously asks: “Wh... what about, my dad? Was he Lutheran, too?”
Barb lowers her eyes to the floor for a moment, but then laughs warmly. “Your dad was Jewish, actually! Religion was a lot more important to him than it was to me, that’s for sure.”
And thus begins Sadie’s interest in researching Judaism. She follows a few Jewish religion and culture bloggers, she buys a few study texts, and just for fun she learns to count to ten in Hebrew. She mostly keeps this all to herself, but one day she realizes it’s kind of lonely to do communal things without anyone else. Not wanting to put her mother through any stress by reminding Barb of her father, Sadie nervously texts Lars for help with the one part of Judaism he might know about.
“Hey, uh, I know this is kind of coming from no where but... do you know how to make cholent?”
He takes about 20 minutes before he responds.
“y”
Sadie frowns, but rolls her eyes and replies immediately.
“I wanted to make some, but you know a lot more about cooking than I do and I wanted to ask you for help. *angel emoji*”
this time, he responds after only three minutes.
“do u already have all the ingredients”
Sadie wonders why he’s asking that now instead of just answering her question, but she checks her pantry after pulling up a recipe on her phone.
“It looks like I have just about everything except for... pearl barley? Idek what that is tbh lol”
She presses send, leaning against her kitchen counter as she awaits his response.
“b there in 30 mins.”
he sent that one in about 30 seconds, which really took Sadie aback. she didn’t mean she was going to make it today! but, his enthusiasm impressed her a little bit, and she felt good in choosing him of all people.
She sets everything up, and after looking over the recipe again, she starts boiling some water for the beans.
It takes 37 minutes, actually, but the knock on her door after that time passes is distinctively Lars’, a package of pearl barley in tow. Completely in contrast to his performance at the Big Donut, Lars remains methodical and focused, occasionally asking her to read things off from her phone. She tries to help, but he kind of ends up doing most things by himself. She doesn’t really mind, because she can learn by watching him. Eventually she becomes a little embarrassed at the situation, a bit too pleased that he is here and helping her like this. She almost wanted to give him a hug for it... almost.
After a couple of hours they could just set it on the stovetop and wait, and Lars finally seems to snap back into his usual personality and asks her, “Why cholent? I’ve never seen you eat cholent,” squinting his eyes at her, it finally dawns on him that this might be some kind of setup. Was he too eager? Oof!
Sadie blushes, unaware that he’d been paying attention to the things she ate in any capacity. “Well...” she sighs, pulling a chair out from the kitchen table and sitting down. She looks at him, the slightest amount of pain etched into her chubby face. Lars’ brows furrow, his eyes opening fully again. He shyly makes his way to the opposite side of the table, flipping the chair around and sitting on it backward. “You remember when your parents kinda... just decided I was going to church with you guys?”
Lars grimaced, “Mass,”.
“Mass,” Sadie repeatedly apologetically. “That’s kinda it, I’m not... I’m not so good at this religious stuff yet, haha...” and she finally begins to tell someone in her life what she’s been thinking about with regards to religion, and how she thinks learning more about Judaism will help her understand herself and her dad better, and that maybe it shouldn’t be so important to her but it just kind of became important to her.
After her lengthy explanation, the stove timer immediately began going off. She had begun tearing up a bit, so she took the opportunity to wipe her face off on her shirt when Lars shot up to take the pot off the burner to rest. He turned the heat off, sheepishly looking over his shoulder back at her, face still buried in the collar of her own shirt. He tiptoed back over, standing about a foot away from her chair.
“Okay!” he announced, surprising her enough to peek her eyes out from inside her shirt, pretty brown eyes puffed and glossed over. “I can guarantee this cholent is going to be amazing, so,” he grabs his arm, digging his fingers in nervously as he struggles to maintain eye contact with her. Sadie fully emerges from the inside of her shirt, brushing loose strands of hair from her face. “S-so, no crying!” he almost shouts, and the subtle crack in his voice at the end makes his blush deepen. Sadie sniffles, smiling up at him from the table.
“Okay,” she giggles. “No crying.”
#larsadie#lars barriga#sadie miller#steven universe#religion#ube on a roll#ube in a can#that's my brand spankin new tag for headcanons hope y'all love it#long post#y'all like tags for long posts right
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Autumn's colors were showing this weekend along the Passaic River at the bottom of @patersongreatfalls in Paterson, #NewJersey. The Paterson Great Falls were carved by glaciers that receded 13,000 years ago at the end of the last Ice Age. More than 2 billion gallons of water rush over it daily. It is the second largest waterfall, by volume, east of the Mississippi River, behind only Niagara Falls. #nj #njhistory #SpreadTheHistory #historygirl #history #FindYourPark #nps #nps103 #jerseycollective #njspots #explorenj #nationalparks #nationalparkservice #goparks #americanhistory #nationalparkgeek #travelblog #travelblogger #explore #blog #blogger #smallparksaturday #patersongreatfalls #greatfalls #patersonnj #paterson #PassaicRiver (at Paterson Great Falls National Historical Park) https://www.instagram.com/p/B4LnTGOA8-7/?igshid=1koj43mq81pvz
#newjersey#nj#njhistory#spreadthehistory#historygirl#history#findyourpark#nps#nps103#jerseycollective#njspots#explorenj#nationalparks#nationalparkservice#goparks#americanhistory#nationalparkgeek#travelblog#travelblogger#explore#blog#blogger#smallparksaturday#patersongreatfalls#greatfalls#patersonnj#paterson#passaicriver
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The Deskside: Faith Coates
Welcome to The Deskside, our interview series where we connect with up and coming creative women who are carving out their own special spaces in this wide world. We talk about their careers, experience, personal dilemmas, creative strategies, and more.
Faith Coates leads a fully customized life, pre-pandemic.
The Stats
Name: Faith Coates
Company: The Artful Marketer & XYUandBeyond
Industry: Marketing and Strategic Planning
Find Her on Social:
LinkedIn
Facebook
Pinterest
How did you make the leap?
I like to say my kids wouldn't run away from home so we did, which is very true. I am constantly astounded at how many young people just hang around their hometowns and don't grab any opportunity to travel.
Apart from that, I grew very tired of crappy jobs that only contracted you for a year and paid you nothing. In my last job over 4 years I raised over 2 million dollars in extra revenues, and my rewards were yearly contracts at pathetic wages. So when my husband took early retirement from the Post Office I decided to hell with this and we made the decision to go traveling. We didn't have a fantastic income by any stretch and there was no way to live in Canada on that tiny pension. So we decided to go and housesit and save ourselves mortgage and rent. We found traveling in Europe is just so damn cheap, I mean I can fly from London to Dublin for less than it costs to take a train from my hometown of London to Toronto.
As a result of that decision and my stay-at-home boredom, I decided to put my talents to use in helping other entrepreneurs. I specialize in working with socially-minded entrepreneurs who not only want to support themselves but give something back to the community. I work a lot with creative types - from chefs, travel bloggers, not for profits and social enterprises to artists who are starting a new business and need all the practical help with writing a strategic plan, marketing on social media, and just general business guidance.
I call myself an archi-anthropologist, in other words, I can see the big picture, the whole building, or beyond the box if you like, and all the thousands of details that are critical to developing and supporting a business culture.
My third sense can literally ‘see’ the way a business needs to strategically plan for success. I can take an entrepreneur's dreams and make them a reality.
What did you want to be when you grew up?
A writer.
What was your first job ever? Did it help you in your current role?
Working in a record store. I suppose it did in a way. I became fascinated by the people who shopped there—they were obsessed with music and it made for fascinating people watching. It also became very clear that the musicians and creative types that were ‘managing’ the place were completely out of their depth in business.
What made you want to start your business?
LOL boredom inspired me! I simply can't sit around on a beach or the house without something to do.
How do you explain what you do to others?
I just people I am a Storyteller, that usually gets them asking more questions at which point I explain that I although I have no particularly artistically creative talents myself that I work with those that are creative to help them build successful businesses.
How long have you been doing this?
Probably for over 20 years, I just didn't realize it was a talent until I needed to create work for myself. I have been giving away information for years without valuing the fact that information really is power.
What is a day for you like? What is your routine?
We get up around 6ish and Alan walks the dog and I get the animals breakfast for them (if there are pets at our housesit). After that Alan cooks breakfast and I sit down at my computer to work for a few hours. If it's a hot location (like we are now in Cyprus) we go for a swim either at the pool or find a quiet, easy access beach and go for a swim.
When we get back I go back to the computer for a few hours if necessary or simply relax outside and read a book. We often just go for a drive if we have a car available just to see the sights and explore new areas. I can't resist a museum or ancient monuments and sites. I also love a farmer's market and I am a true foodie at heart so exploring regional cuisines and taking food tours is heaven for me.
How do you end your workday?
Sometimes it feels like I don't, I am constantly reading or learning things and I love finding information and doing research. Others may call that work but I love it.
How did you go about starting your business?
I started writing a travel blog to keep our friends and family posted. From there it just sort of grew organically. I got asked to develop blogs for friends and family that had small businesses and I loved it so much I decided to try to do it for other people. So I started promoting my travel blog as a sort of portfolio of work. I got a lot of traffic from connecting to tourist groups and places through Twitter and Pinterest and it grew from there and then I started mentoring some online entrepreneurs who didn't realize they were entrepreneurs. So I started The Artful Marketer and now I work with a few clients that are establishing businesses that have at their hearts a social conscience and give back to the community.
What are your biggest responsibilities as an entrepreneur?
Understand your value and not compromise it.
Always be totally honest and transparent with your clients.
Do what you say you are going to do and to do it as well as you can.
Be ethical, reliable, and meet your deadlines.
Always tell the truth to new entrepreneurs and freelancers.
Give back and share as much as you can without jeopardizing your own business
What has been the hardest part of your transition?
Keeping my husband occupied and not ignoring him when I kept wrapped up in working.
What has been the easiest part of your transition?
Selling everything and becoming totally committed to minimalism. It is so incredibly freeing not owning anything and traveling with a carry-on.
What keeps you motivated?
The travel and the seeing new places that I never dreamed I would get the chance to, and getting to stay with and spoil other people's pets because as a traveler you don't get to have pets so for a little while we get to love someone else's furbabies.
How do you define success now?
Same as I always have, being your own person, speaking the truth, standing up for what is right, and giving back as much as you can.
How do you prevent burnout?
For me, I go and read a book. I love books that involve history, mystery, and good guys fighting bad guys James Rollins and Kathleen McGowan come to mind. When I want something different I turn to Kelley Armstrong a brilliant Canadian writer—she wrote the Werewolf series they turned into a TV show.
What do you think is the most important characteristic to have for someone who wants to take a similar career route to yours?
Willingness to learn new things and do your homework. Don't buy into the "dream it, believe it, and abundance will come mindset". If you want it you are going to have to work damn hard at it and sometimes you may get some luck that helps but mostly you will work your ass off to make it a success and a lot of times you will fail and that sucks, but you have to brush yourself off and get moving again. Persistence I think would sum it up.
What do you wish you knew before starting out on your own path?
One, I wish I had valued myself more. I ended up giving away my talents for free and making tons of money for other people.
Two, be careful who you trust and make sure you listen to your gut instincts.
Is there someone out there that you admire?
Not really work idols I respect and love women like Gloria Steinem, Maya Angelou, Bell Hooks, and Audre Lourde are all my heroes.
What is your favorite thing about your industry?
Meeting folks who are so excited and passionate about their business and want to inspire others.
What do you have on your desk or working space right now?
An iced coffee, my notebook and pens, and my computer and phone. Oh yes, and it’s damned hot here right now so I have a package of baby wipes that I just took out of the fridge for cooling down with.
What do you want other women in similar situations to know about your chosen career path?
If you have the desire to get out or are planning it - try to get out as soon as you can. Start getting rid of stuff, research all your options for traveling and living abroad or even another place. Look into housesitting, house swapping, co-work spaces, or even just getting an apartment, someplace you never thought possible, and move. Start building an online business or career now so you can make it move with you.
You may also like…
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#ice https://ift.tt/2LjV0C9
https://ift.tt/2w7zdJ7 To check out some amazing ice sculptures, visit https://ift.tt/12xJdZx
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Today in New Jersey history: Happy birthday to @patersongreatfalls in Paterson, #NewJersey. #OTD, November 7, 2011, it became the 397th National Park in the United States! The Paterson Great Falls were carved by glaciers that receded 13,000 years ago at the end of the last Ice Age. More than 2 billion gallons of water rush over the 77-foot high falls daily. It is the second largest waterfall, by volume, east of the Mississippi River, behind only Niagara Falls. The park also interprets the industrial history of Paterson (the first planned industrial city in America), which includes the formation of the Society for Establishing Useful Manufactures (S.U.M.) in 1791, and industries for cotton and silk fabrics, steam locomotives, continuous rolls of paper, and airplane engines. Within the park's boundaries is #Hinhcliffe Stadium, a 10,000 seat stadium completed in 1932, It is one of only a handful of stadiums surviving nationally associated with Negro league baseball. In its heyday, the stadium hosted professional baseball and football games, high school athletic contests, auto racing, and rock concerts. It became part of the park in December 2014. #nj #njhistory #SpreadTheHistory #historygirl #history #FindYourPark #nps #nps103 #jerseycollective #njspots #explorenj #nationalparks #nationalparkservice #goparks #americanhistory #nationalparkgeek #travelblog #travelblogger #explore #blog #blogger #smallparksaturday #patersongreatfalls #greatfalls #patersonnj #paterson #industrialhistory (at Paterson Great Falls National Historical Park) https://www.instagram.com/p/B4lcNLfguOx/?igshid=17v34uqry4cw
#newjersey#otd#hinhcliffe#nj#njhistory#spreadthehistory#historygirl#history#findyourpark#nps#nps103#jerseycollective#njspots#explorenj#nationalparks#nationalparkservice#goparks#americanhistory#nationalparkgeek#travelblog#travelblogger#explore#blog#blogger#smallparksaturday#patersongreatfalls#greatfalls#patersonnj#paterson#industrialhistory
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