#Black mambo

[gravitonbeamemitter]

in a zaba state of mind

[it-happened-one-fic]

Mambo - Prove It To You - Strictly NRC Dancing

Author's Notes: First Sebek fic (woo!) I actually really adore Sebek in a weird sort of way, but writing him was certainly a new experience! Especially since I was writing the Mambo.... Writing dancing is getting easier and easier though. Makes me realize how far into this series I've gotten. The dance in this fic was Heavily inspired by Heidi and Benji’s Mambo to “Black mambo” by Angel and the Mambokats on So You Think You Can Dance Season 2 Episode 18. Just like the rest of this AU/series the reader is female for this fic. I hope you enjoy!

If you would like to read more this AU/series, the fics can be found here: Strictly NRC Dancing AU Master-List.

Type: Dance AU/ female reader/ fluff/ can probably be taken as flirtatious

Word Count: 1058

“Stop! Stop! Did you learn nothing from your lessons, pup?” I cringed in sympathy as Crewel proceeded to lay into Sebek yet again.

“This is a sultry, flirtatious dance. You need lots of hip action, and-”

“BUT IT MAKES NO SENSE!” This time I covered my ears and prayed for this particular exam to be over just a little bit faster.

 Sebek was beyond frustrated at this point, and it was, to a degree, understandable. He knew the foot motions and the mechanics of the mambo. But the general emotion of the dance was beyond him.

Crewel eyed the first year with no small amount of annoyance as Sebek continued on his tirade, not helping his situation at all by having interrupted our professor. “The dances of the Valley of Thorns have no such need for such… Frippery! Why does thi-”

“The mambo is not a dance of the Valley of Thorns, though, is it?” There was a certain venom to Crewel’s words that came from a man who had long lost patience with his current student as he all but prowled towards us.

“The mambo IS the dance you are being graded on in approximately 40 minutes, though! Now, I suggest you watch me and the Prefect go through your choreography one more time and pay attention!”

As I stepped quickly around the room with Crewel, letting the man spin me at high speeds before pausing for brief periods of sashaying place with our foreheads pressed together that featured considerable amounts of eye contact, I couldn’t help but feel kind of bad for the young man who watched us closely. Not to say that I wasn’t frustrated myself, but… To a degree, I understood Sebek’s struggles.

 The mambo was a fun dance that was both sensual and flirty. Two things that tended to clash with Sebek of the twenty-something missives that must be written before he was willing to sit with a person’s width between him and the object of his affections.

The fact that he’d received the mambo, of all dances, for his class was beyond unlucky. In fact, it was practically unfair.

Judging from what I’d seen of his dancing thus far during our practice, Sebek wasn’t actually a bad dancer. He just wasn’t a flirty one, which was, unfortunately for him, necessary for this dance.

The proof of his skills was the choreography that Crewel had put together for us. Our performance dance was beyond difficult and required almost perfect partner synergy. And Sebek was doing admirably…. He just wasn’t terribly well-suited for Latin dancing.

“There. You see? All you need to do is add the right emotion to your dance, and you will be ready. Now, again, from the top.” With only those instructions, Crewel stepped away. Leaving me waiting for Sebek, who approached with renewed vigor.

And yet, the very second he took my hand, I knew there was no way this was going to be correct. The proper steps would be there, but none of the attitude would be. 

So I leaned forward, causing Sebek’s eyebrows to lift questioningly, as my brain was already working hard to figure out exactly what I could say to get him to do what he needed to.

I did feel a tiny bit guilty as I smiled at him oh-so-sweetly, “Why don’t you ask Silver for some help after we finish up here? There will be some time between then and our performance, so he should be able to give you some pointers.”

Annnnd Boom. 

The immediate shock and irritation that appeared in Sebek’s strange-looking eyes told me exactly what I needed to know. He’d taken the bait. 

Bait, that I had not wanted to have to use, especially since I didn’t actually know if Silver would be any better at the mambo than Sebek. 

But, with any luck, this would get Sebek through this class. Hopefully with a passing grade.

“YOU THINK SILVER CAN DO BETTER THAN I?!” I flinched at his overly loud voice, and, as if he realized how deafening he’d just been, his voice was quieter as he continued, “I’ll have you know that I was the best dancer in my class back at the Valley of Thorns. While Master Lilia may have taught Silver well, I doubt that Silver would be anywhere near my level of prowess.”

My eyes darted over to where Crewel stood with raised eyebrows; mercifully, he wasn’t interjecting. Perhaps he was willing to leave this up to me.

“I just thought since you seem unable to get the right emotion for the dance that Silver might-”

“I’LL SHOW YOU HUMAN!” In an almost uncharacteristic move, Sebek’s voice lowered till he was almost whispering as he dipped his head down to mine. A challenge shined in his eyes as he continued, “I do not need him to show me how to dance, and I’ll prove it to you right here and now.”

I would have to apologize to both Silver and Sebek after this was all said and done. But right now, all that mattered was getting this awkward teenage boy through this dance and past this class.

 For the sake of both him and my eardrums.

So I made the final push, stretching up with a slight smirk on my lips as I allowed my expression to reflect his challenge right back at him, “Then I suggest you do just that, Sebek. Because I honestly don’t think you can.”

Despite our close proximity, the usually easily scandalized young man outright smirked down at me, not backing away in the slightest, “Have it your way, human.”

Still tired, but now rather amused, Crewel called out, “If you two are quite ready…?”

My eyes stayed on Sebek, who refused to back down even as he stepped backward, keeping his eyes on mine as he held my hand up in between the two of us. 

I grinned despite myself as I called out in response to our instructor and kept my eyes on the young man in front of me who was holding my hand as if there were nothing there, “More than ready!”

“I certainly hope you are, human.” Sebek’s gloating tone hadn’t lessened in the slightest, even as the upbeat and almost raucous beat started up from where Crewel had hit play on the radio, “Let’s dance.”

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[cloudbattrolls]

I’m sure you all know the legend of Midas.

[ifuckinghatebriansella]

setlist for today's drive with @flyingmodelr0ckets

-new song d

-breezeblocks

-i go meow

-black mambo

[groovetrill]

What'll it be now mister mole

Whisper sloth in curls of smoke

Take a back seat

Or play pharaoh

Dance with me

And shake your bones

Slow down

It's a science

He's been waiting

To bring you down

Snake eyed

With a sly smile

He can hold you

And shake you child

Leopards laze each

On plush pillows

Slender capes

Of red and chrome

Paperback dreams

In their deep doze

Twitch their toes to

Black mambo

Slow down

It's a science

He's been waiting

To bring you down

Snake eyed

With a sly smile

He can hold you

And shake you child

Wanna play cheat

Now says the sloth

A domino

Flush to his nose

Tickle that cheek

And take your throne

Pump your veins

With gushing gold

Slow down

It's a science

He's been waiting

To bring you down

Snake eyed

With a sly smile

He can hold you

And shake you child

We can hold you

We can hold you

We can hold you

We can hold you

[bluemoonperegrine]

"Black Mambo" by Glass Animals

What a great groove!

[vega-and-me]

Is it just me or is Glass Animals the ‘new’ NBHD? Heatwaves is playing on the radio and it’s reminiscent of Marshall’s playing Sweater Weather on repeat… but for summer instead of fall.

[liom-archive]

(pasted from under cut)

Flip:

flip/flip/flips/flips/flipself

smoke or smoking/smoking/smokings/smokings/smokingself

tune/tune/tunes/tunes/tuneself

go/back/gos/backs/gobackself

break/break/breaks/breaks/breakself

rabid/rabid/rabids/rabids/rabidself

fetter/fetter/fetters/fetters/fetterself

---

Black Mambo:

black/mambo/blacks/mambos/blackmamboself

smoke/smoke/smokes/smokes/smokeself

slow/down/slows/downs/slowdownself

chrome/chrome/chromes/chromes/chromeself

throne/throne/thrones/thrones/throneself

gushing/gold/gushings/golds/gushinggoldself

hold/hold/holds/holds/holdself

---

Pools:

pool/pool/pools/pools/poolself

smile/smile/smiles/smiles/smileself

little/soul/littles/souls/littlesoulself

toy/toy/toys/toys/toyself

noise/noise/noises/noises/noiseself

joy/joy/joys/joys/joyself

guilt/guilt/guilts/guilts/guiltself

dead/dead/deads/deads/deadself

---

Gooey:

gooey/gooey/gooeys/gooeys/gooeyself

woozy/woozy/woozys/woozys/woozyself

chance/chance/chances/chances/chanceself

smooth/air/smooths/airs/smoothairself

vibe/vibe/vibes/vibes/vibeself

tipsy/topsy/tipsys/topsys/tipsytopsyself

plume/plume/plumes/plumes/plumeself

---

Walla Walla:

walla/walla/wallas/wallas/wallaself

precious/precious/precious's/precious's/preciouself

honey/honey/honeys/honeys/honeyself

night/night/nights/nights/nightself

bunny/bunny/bunnys/bunnys/bunnyself

---

Intruxx:

intruxx/intruxx/intruxxs/intruxxs/intruxxself

sour/sour/sours/sours/sourself

plant/plant/plants/plants/plantself

hungry/hungry/hungrys/hungrys/hungryself

fang/fang/fangs/fangs/fangself

---

Hazey:

hazey/hazey/hazeys/hazeys/hazeyself

bruised/bruised/bruiseds/bruiseds/bruisedself

cry/cry/crys/crys/cryself

eye/eye/eyes/eyes/eyeself

crawling/crawling/crawlings/crawlings/crawlingself

calm/calm/calms/calms/calmself

---

Toes:

toe/toe/toes/toes/toeself

wild/wild/wilds/wilds/wildself

chic/chic/chics/chics/chicself

smooth/smooth/smooths/smooths/smoothself

divine/divine/divines/divines/divineself

twisted/fool/twisteds/fools/twistedfoolself

hoove/hoove/hooves/hooves/hooveself

smile/smile/smiles/smiles/smileself

crooked/crooked/crookeds/crookeds/crookedself

---

Wyrd:

wyrd/wyrd/wyrds/wyrds/wyrdself

twee/twee/twees/twees/tweeself

eye/eye/eyes/eyes/eyeself

sip/sip/sips/sips/sipself

don't/go/don'ts/gos/don'tgoself

lemon/peel/lemons/peels/lemonpeelself

time/time/times/times/timeself

gold/gold/golds/golds/goldself

---

Cocoa Hooves:

cocoa/hoove/cocoas/hooves/cocoahooveself

quiet/quiet/quiets/quiets/quietself

hermit/hermit/hermits/hermits/hermitself

bow/arrow/bows/arrows/bowarrowself

dance/dance/dances/dances/danceself

sick/sick/sicks/sicks/sickself

wing/wing/wings/wings/wingself

fire/fire/fires/fires/fireself

violence/violence/violences/violences/violenceself

eye/eye/eyes/eyes/eyeself

---

JDNT:

jdnt/jdnt/jdnts/jdnts/jdntself

air/air/airs/airs/airself

cry/cry/crys/crys/cryself

feather/feather/feathers/feathers/featherself

dirty/dirty/dirtys/dirtys/dirtyself

filthy/filthy/filthys/filthys/filthyself

life/life/lifes/lifes/lifeself

paradise/paradise/paradises/paradises/paradiseself

Glass Animals; Zaba 3rd Person Neopronouns

read more cause long post

Flip:

flip/flip/flips/flips/flipself

smoke or smoking/smoking/smokings/smokings/smokingself

tune/tune/tunes/tunes/tuneself

go/back/gos/backs/gobackself

break/break/breaks/breaks/breakself

rabid/rabid/rabids/rabids/rabidself

fetter/fetter/fetters/fetters/fetterself

---

Black Mambo:

black/mambo/blacks/mambos/blackmamboself

smoke/smoke/smokes/smokes/smokeself

slow/down/slows/downs/slowdownself

chrome/chrome/chromes/chromes/chromeself

throne/throne/thrones/thrones/throneself

gushing/gold/gushings/golds/gushinggoldself

hold/hold/holds/holds/holdself

---

Pools:

pool/pool/pools/pools/poolself

smile/smile/smiles/smiles/smileself

little/soul/littles/souls/littlesoulself

toy/toy/toys/toys/toyself

noise/noise/noises/noises/noiseself

joy/joy/joys/joys/joyself

guilt/guilt/guilts/guilts/guiltself

dead/dead/deads/deads/deadself

---

Gooey:

gooey/gooey/gooeys/gooeys/gooeyself

woozy/woozy/woozys/woozys/woozyself

chance/chance/chances/chances/chanceself

smooth/air/smooths/airs/smoothairself

vibe/vibe/vibes/vibes/vibeself

tipsy/topsy/tipsys/topsys/tipsytopsyself

plume/plume/plumes/plumes/plumeself

---

Walla Walla:

walla/walla/wallas/wallas/wallaself

precious/precious/precious's/precious's/preciouself

honey/honey/honeys/honeys/honeyself

night/night/nights/nights/nightself

bunny/bunny/bunnys/bunnys/bunnyself

---

Intruxx:

intruxx/intruxx/intruxxs/intruxxs/intruxxself

sour/sour/sours/sours/sourself

plant/plant/plants/plants/plantself

hungry/hungry/hungrys/hungrys/hungryself

fang/fang/fangs/fangs/fangself

---

Hazey:

hazey/hazey/hazeys/hazeys/hazeyself

bruised/bruised/bruiseds/bruiseds/bruisedself

cry/cry/crys/crys/cryself

eye/eye/eyes/eyes/eyeself

crawling/crawling/crawlings/crawlings/crawlingself

calm/calm/calms/calms/calmself

---

Toes:

toe/toe/toes/toes/toeself

wild/wild/wilds/wilds/wildself

chic/chic/chics/chics/chicself

smooth/smooth/smooths/smooths/smoothself

divine/divine/divines/divines/divineself

twisted/fool/twisteds/fools/twistedfoolself

hoove/hoove/hooves/hooves/hooveself

smile/smile/smiles/smiles/smileself

crooked/crooked/crookeds/crookeds/crookedself

---

Wyrd:

wyrd/wyrd/wyrds/wyrds/wyrdself

twee/twee/twees/twees/tweeself

eye/eye/eyes/eyes/eyeself

sip/sip/sips/sips/sipself

don't/go/don'ts/gos/don'tgoself

lemon/peel/lemons/peels/lemonpeelself

time/time/times/times/timeself

gold/gold/golds/golds/goldself

---

Cocoa Hooves:

cocoa/hoove/cocoas/hooves/cocoahooveself

quiet/quiet/quiets/quiets/quietself

hermit/hermit/hermits/hermits/hermitself

bow/arrow/bows/arrows/bowarrowself

dance/dance/dances/dances/danceself

sick/sick/sicks/sicks/sickself

wing/wing/wings/wings/wingself

fire/fire/fires/fires/fireself

violence/violence/violences/violences/violenceself

eye/eye/eyes/eyes/eyeself

---

JDNT:

jdnt/jdnt/jdnts/jdnts/jdntself

air/air/airs/airs/airself

cry/cry/crys/crys/cryself

feather/feather/feathers/feathers/featherself

dirty/dirty/dirtys/dirtys/dirtyself

filthy/filthy/filthys/filthys/filthyself

life/life/lifes/lifes/lifeself

paradise/paradise/paradises/paradises/paradiseself

[ozzyeelz]

🎶Pump your veins with gushing gold🎶

[mbumblebuzz]

we can hold you

[fidjiefidjie]

Bonjour, bonne journée ☕️ ☁️

Mambo au Macumba Club 🇺🇸 San Francisco 1954

Photo de Nat Farbman /Getty Images

[cloudbattrolls]

Rhythm Set

This drabble is followed by Side Step.

Guardian Artifice | Eastern Marches | Present Night

Not so long ago, there was a malediction of the disease fae.

They were forced to change down to their bones, the essence of their very beings - to open their eyes and know forevermore that other beings’ lives and happiness mattered as much as theirs, unable to ignore it any longer.

They went after the Maledict - the woman who brought this upon them - for while she had been made immortal, it was a curse for her to suffer.

They were driven back every time by her new guardian.

A creature of metal and flesh who retaliated in ever-changing bodies, ripping them to pieces, laughing as it turned them against each other the one time they attacked in a group.

The disease fae did not know what to do. Surely the Maledict must answer for her crimes, altering them and ruining their realms they were still repairing.

Even as they called upon their allies of other fae species, they found she was too well protected, and rumors had grown of the being that guarded her that began to discourage any further attempts.

They said it harvested their corpses for parts. They said it was something the angels themselves worshiped. They said it could be anything it wanted, able to hide behind any face.

They all agreed: something must be done about this creature.

The spring court of flowers rose to the challenge.

They sent an agent familiar with the troll world.

One who had the best chance of success.

–

“So, I’m curious - how did you think this was going to go?”

Arty’s drawl was highly unimpressed as it gripped the trapped fae in its metallic tendrils.

Nice place for it, at least. The weather was warm and dry, with a bit of wind, and it had intercepted them before they could get anywhere near Ullane and her clinic.

They were somewhere in the mid-eastern marches - those imperial territories full of mountains and plains, deserts and steppes. Small patches of grass popped up between rocky soil, and birds rode the currents overhead for lift.

It wasn’t just the yellowblood at stake right now; there were wounded trolls in the mobile clinic being cared for, so it had set up a perimeter of sensors and small disguised bodies keeping an eye on things.

The fae’s fuzzy ears flicked. Not the best of troll disguises - but they hadn’t been aggressive so far.

That was the only reason they were still breathing.

“It’s goin’ great.” The fae said cheerfully, a tail not unlike Ullane’s flicking back and forth. “I found ya, didn’t I?”

“You are trapped and I can gut you at any moment.” It pointed out. “What do you want?”

“A stiff drink. A lotta fried chicken. Fer you to come with me. The fae courts wanna talk.”

It laughed sharply, green-slitted black eyes gleaming.

“I’m sure.” It said, grin full of metallic teeth. “Give them my regards, won’t you?”

The fae shook their head.

“Ya don’ get it. If ya come with me, they’ll call a truce and stop attackin’ the Maledict.”

It snorted, curling closer in its snakelike form to loom slightly over the fae it had in its coils.

“Idiot.” It said scathingly. “I know how your kind twists the truth into near-meaninglessness. Why would I trust anything you say? Consider yourself lucky to be alive and get out.”

It loosened its coils enough for the fae to get free.

They…didn’t.

They made a slightly disappointed neighing noise as they kept standing there instead.

Some sort of equine fae, then. There were unicorns, kelpies, pegasi. Doubtless others it hadn’t heard of.

“What?” It said irritably, long reptilian snout pointed up in disdain. “Go away. I have no interest in you or your empty offer.”

“Blood oath.” Said the fae solemnly. “What if I swore a blood oath?”

“What if I bopped you on the head and threw you fifty feet?” It retorted snidely. “Probably wouldn’t change the amount of intact brain cells you have.”

They chuckled, which made it hiss in irritation.

“Blood oath means I can’t lie while makin’ it, or it’ll burst m’heart open. I kinda need that.”

“Again: I have no reason to trust this.” It said, bored. “I can keep fighting you all back forever, it doesn’t matter to me.”

“Don’t you wanna protect your girl for good?” They pointed out. “The fae’ll keep comin’, thousand faces. Forever and ever. For her and anyone caught in the way.”

They looked in the direction of the mobile clinic.

It paused. “What did you just call me?”

“Thousand faces.” They said with another chuckle. “S’what they’ve started calling you.”

It sighed.

“You can call me Arty - “ It started to say, then shook its head. “Why am I humoring this? Just go before I start beating you.”

“‘Cause you didn’t let me get to the other part - if ya come with me and lay off the fae, if you make an oath they’ll keep you to about it, they’ll have to grant ya a favor in exchange.”

Its eyes gleamed.

“Oh?”

The fae gave them an amused grin.

“I knew ya’d like the sound o’that. Ya, the whole court’s in on it, so - “

“Oh, I don’t care what you idiots have to offer me, it’s just really funny that you believe I can be bribed.”

The fae huffed, crossing their thick arms.

“Rude.”

“I weep most inconsolably for you.” It said with intent sarcasm and mock solemnity. “Regardless. I’ve changed my mind, I’ll come to the fae courts.”

“Really?” The fluffy-eared fae said, perking up. “Ya mean it?”

“Yes.” It drawled, beginning to fold in its tendrils in a way that resembled the petals of a flower, raising up like a curled metallic bloom around the rest of it as it coiled within them.

The fae watched in fascination. The process was strange yet beautiful - and in less than a minute, the petals fell away, winking out of existence as if they had never been, and a slim troll-shaped figure in a suit stood there.

“Wow.” Said the fae, a bit dumbstruck.

“What?” It said, baffled and a bit impatient. “Don’t your kind transform all the time?”

“Not like that.” They said, leaning forward and brushing their hair out of their pearly blue eyes to look at Arty more.

They stuck out a hand.

“Name’s Róisín.”

The construct raised its eyebrows and did not take it.

“So, where are we going?”

“What?” Róisín pouted, put out by the lack of friendliness. “Ain’t you gonna shake?”

“I don’t want to.” It said placidly. “We are not friends, drinking buddies, or even allies. You are my guide, Róisín. So lead on to the courts.”

The fae pouted, tail swishing back and forth.

“Well, fine. Speakin’ of, I do need somethin’ to eat and drink.”

It blinked. “All right.” It said. “Where were you thinking of going?”

–

Arty looked at the ceiling and wondered how, exactly, it had been talked into this.

It was incredibly out of place in the seedy working-class bar with its neat suit and unblemished skin. The place smelled of alcohol - no, reeked of it, more than even a bar should. The walls were dotted with rot, and patrons argued, gambled, and sometimes had to be broken up from ripping one another’s eyes out.

It had stopped when they’d arrived and wanted to wait outside.

Róisín had insisted it come in, pointing out that ‘don’t ya wanna keep an eye on me? I’m so untrustworthy an’ all.’

Which was, unfortunately, a good point, and it had small bodies stationed outside the bar in case the fae - kelpie, it had learned - tried anything.

Fortunately, it hadn’t been bothered - presenting as a purpleblood, buying an expensive drink to stay on the bartender’s good side, and keeping to itself had its advantages. It was being stared at, of course - no surprises there - but no one seemed inclined to try anything.

Meanwhile, it watched Róisín, who was somehow on their fifth helping of dinner. She was close to seven feet tall - and rather fat - but still, how did anyone eat so much? It was bizarrely fascinating to the artifice, if also a little disgusting to watch the fae messily tear through such a large amount of food.

At least he wasn’t up to anything untoward, as far as it could tell.

“Heeeeey!” They called to Arty, finally finishing their food and getting up to go to the recreation section of the bar. “C’mon over. Play a game.”

It stared at them with disbelief.

“Why.” It said, and the trolls around Róisín chuckled.

“Real frosty bitch ya got there!” Crowed one woman. “Pretty, but cold as Condy’s tits.”

Arty’s expression became deeply tired.

“If I play the game.” It said to Róisín, in a soft but carrying voice. “We leave right after. I will drag you out the door myself.”

“Promise?” Retorted the fae cheerfully as the trolls laughed.

The construct’s eyes narrowed. What did he mean by that?

“Oh, I definitely promise.” Arty said, tone a gentle but pointed threat, as it got up and went over to join Róisín and the drunk trolls around them. Someone stole its drink - they might as well, it certainly wasn’t interested in it.

For some reason, the idiot kelpie now wore a goofy grin.

–

Arty grunted, dragging Róisín out of the bar’s door as it closed after all, but not because the kelpie had been unwilling; no, the complete moron had won a game of dominoes and gotten drunk enough that she’d nearly fallen asleep.

He wasn’t unmanageable - they’d lifted Quilis while she was unconscious before - but Róisín was heavier than her, even if they were shorter than the purpleblood.

“Haha, that was fun.” Said the fae with sleepy, bubbly enthusiasm. “Hey. Heeeeey. Arty. Here.”

“Shut up.” It said through gritted teeth, trying to haul him forward out of the doorway before the bartender got irritated enough to send the bouncer after them. They didn’t need the attention; they’d gotten enough of it.

“Noooo, don’ be mean.” Róisín said, pouting. “Here…for you…look…”

Hands occupied, and unable to sprout more limbs to help itself when it was plain view, it could not prevent the fae’s thick hand from slipping something small and plastic into its slender one.

“A domino.” It said flatly, putting it in its sylladex and finally dragging the kelpie forward onto the bare ground as they let out an ‘oof.’

“Not jus’ any dom-no…this one’s magic, I en’chan’ed it…hehe…they can never tell…”

With that, the fae fell sound asleep and started snoring.

Arty let go of him and put both hands to its forehead, slowly calming itself down.

–

Arty kicked Róisín to wake them up when it decided he had slept enough.

It had carried them into the nearby woods and put up a cover over them so they wouldn’t be burned by the sun, but did not care enough to try to make them any more comfortable and had done nothing to stop the bugs crawling over him during the day.

Not that it had seemed to make any difference to the fae, sunk deep in their drunken stupor, and now it was early evening, just barely safe enough for trolls to walk around uncovered.

“Get up, moron.” It said, digging the cap of its boot into the soft flesh.

“Owwww.” They whined, putting a hand over their face to shield them from the early evening moonlight. “How do you kick so hard with such little feet?”

“Immense talent.” It stated snidely. “Now, let’s - “

“M’hungry.” She said plaintively, stomach inexplicably rumbling loud enough that the artifice could hear it.

“Oh, shut up.” It snapped. “After how much you ate last night? That’s ridiculous.”

She stared at it blankly.

“M’a horse, what d’ya expect?”

It paused.

It put a hand to its face.

Róisín chuckled.

“Fine. Fine! Get some food and then we are going.”

“A’ight. We close to where we were?”

“Like I was going to haul you any further than I had to.” It muttered as the fae grinned.

“Hehe. Was I too heavy for yer li’l arms?”

“Please.” It said, waving a dismissive hand. “It’s not your weight that’s the problem. It’s that you’re a complete pain.”

Róisín, for reasons unfathomable to the artifice, looked slightly disappointed, but then grinned even wider.

“So yer real strong, huh. Nice.”

“Yes?” It said, annoyed and baffled alike. “Why wouldn’t I be.”

Róisín merely hummed in what seemed to be satisfaction while shaking her head to get leaves and dirt out of it. She slowly got up and flicked her ears, looking around and sniffing the air.

Arty stared, its own ears flicking. Incomprehensible behavior, but it had no interest in prying further. As long as this got taken care of quickly.

The kelpie suddenly became alert, and in the blink of an eye, turned into her true form - a massive, shaggy black horse-like beast with a mouth full of sharp teeth and a long, fishlike tail.

He took off with surprising speed for someone who had been dead drunk not long ago, and Arty sighed and ran after him.

A troll was walking along in the trees, a strong-looking brownblood with floppy ears and one broken horn.

Róisín paused, ran a long tongue across their snout as they salivated, and Arty realized what was going to happen.

It leapt in front of them as they ran at the troll, taking the impact as Róisín screamed in pain, and with a clicking and chirring of metal and parts transformed into a raptor-like form.

The brownblood was already fleeing - good.

The kelpie whinnied her displeasure and beat at the artifice with powerful hooves, enough to dent its metal slightly, but it shrieked and clawed at her flesh, biting at her with a serrated beak, wrestling the larger creature down into the dirt until it had them pinned down with its wings and hind limbs.

It glared at them, glowing green eyes met with resentful blue ones, until Róisín turned her long head away and huffed, tail flicking, a clear gesture of surrender.

“You fae.” Hissed the artifice, sinking its talons deeper into her flesh. Dull, bluish gray blood ran down the horse’s flanks.

“Selfish, simple creatures unable to see beyond your next dinner or trick. Do you ever think of anything beyond your own satisfaction? You drink and laugh with them one moment and consume them the next. I’d ask where your standards are…but I know you have none.” It said softly, clicking its beak.

The kelpie turned back to her troll form, and the artifice found itself now clinging to her gut and chest too close for comfort. It scrambled off and returned to its own troll shape, watching the kelpie’s every move with complete disdain.

“Well, I spent all m’money.” Róisín said plaintively, still bleeding, but acting as if all they’d had was a minor dispute. “So what’m I supposed to do? Not eat? Trolls’re easy an’ filling. Can’t do anythin’ on an empty stomach.” She said, patting hers.

“I will buy you food.” It said flatly. “I don’t care what I have to spend as long as you don’t eat trolls.”

The fae looked at the artifice like it had been delivered by the gods.

“Really?” He said in an awed tone.

“Really.” It said through gritted teeth. “I will sate your ridiculous appetite until we get to the courts, and in return, you will not harm a single troll. Because if you do…”

“What happens?” They said with absolutely bewildering eagerness.

Arty paused. Then gave her a wide metallic grin.

“Well, I’ve been scavenging the corpses of your fellows I’ve killed.” It said cheerfully, giving the kelpie a slasher smile and flexing fingers that grew into long silver claws.

“You could be next if you’re not careful.” It purred.

There was a pause as he mulled that over.

“Kinda hot.” Said Róisín cheerfully.

The look on the artifice’s face was one of exquisite suffering.

“Are you serious?” It demanded, hair fluffing out slightly in irritation as its ears flicked.

“Ya.” Said Róisín, peacefully cheerful. “Yer pretty cute.”

Arty put its hands on its head in baffled dismay.

“I cannot believe this. I am not flirting with you. I could not be less interested! I’m doing this to assist the Maledict and keep trollkind safe! This is strictly business, and you are an obnoxious waste of space and air!”

“Hehe.” Said Róisín with a grin.

Arty knew, with a sinking feeling, that this was only the beginning of its suffering.

[clandestinewhore]

𝙱𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚋𝚘𝚗 𝚂𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚝, 𝙽𝚎𝚠 𝙾𝚛𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚗𝚜

[aretis]

And a little mambo 💃