#Bird dads

[doobnnoob-tf2]

I made that fic request post forever ago and I feel so bad I'm just now getting to these but @fontodue I hope you enjoy

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Sniper had been called away on a mission and would be gone for over a week. Heavy and Medic decided to go to a lodge a bit up north for the weekend. Engineer, Soldier, Demoman, and Pyro all took a roadtrip to go check out some sort of oddities shop that had opened the next town over and decided to make a weekend trip of it as well. The base was quiet.

"Yo, Spy!"

Mostly.

Spy and Scout were the only two left on the base. And while the calm, quiet, serene bliss of having a relatively empty base was almost heaven for Spy, it was torture - he discovered - for Scout. He'd come to find out that living with seven older brothers only to move to a base with 8 other mercenaries meant he didn't know what quiet really meant or how to appreciate it. But he'd been patient with Scout's annoyingly constant seeking him out. He knew it was only because he was lonely.

And so when he did it again while Spy was laying on the couch in the rec room, enjoying the silence with his eyes shut, he didn't even so much as let out a sigh. He simply moved his arm off his face to look up at him leaning over the back of the couch. "Yes?"

"Okay, good, you're awake. So, I had an idea. Since everyone else is kinda off doin' their thing.. I was thinkin.. ya know.. maybe you and I could head to town in that fancy car 'a yours and pick up chicks at the bar."

"Scout-"

"I know what you're thinkin', and I know. Regular bar chicks ain't your thing, you like fancy ladies. But, and hear me out, I've got a plan."

"Scout-"

"Spy, come on, just trust me with this, please! I'm tellin' you, this idea is foolproof!"

"I am fairly certain in order for a plan to not be foolproof, a fool could not have come up with it."

"Well thankfully there ain't one here today, so come on!" He grabbed Spy and pulled him up to his feet, leading him back to his room. "So here's my plan. We need to stand out, right? If we can get all eyes on us, then we have their attention and we can pick whoever we want at that point." He opened his bedroom door, leaving Spy standing outside it as he stepped in and talked loudly through it. "I went through everything I've got.. and maybe some'a everyone else's stuff, don't tell them. And I think I've put together the best outfit!"

Spy leaned back against the wall opposite to the door, staring at it with an eyebrow raised. He folded his arms over his chest and waited for whatever this horrible display was about to be. And upon its reveal, he..

..well, it took every atom in his body to not move a single muscle in his face, for starters.

Spy stood there, bewildered as his eyes roamed over him. He'd found one of Demoman's kilts. One of Sniper's hats. And what he can only assume is one of Medic's dressier shirts he wears when he and Heavy go out for their weekly dinner dates. None of it matched. Or fit, for that matter. But his eyes darted up to Scout's face and the hopeful look in his eye knocked him out of his stupor.

He cleared his throat and reached up to fix his own waistcoat as he moved away from the wall. "Well, ah.. it is something, I shall give it that. And I can tell you.. chose things wisely." He moved around to look in at the clothing pile on his bed. And then back at Scout again. And then at the clothes, thinking long and hard before turning to him once more with a smile. "How about we move all of this to the recreational room and.. go through it together? I can think of a few.. adjustments we could make to this, oui?"

There was a sparkle in Scout's eye as he ran in to gather all of it in his arms and rush out to head down the hall. Spy followed him, bending down to pick up each article of clothing that falls like a breadcrumb trail behind him.

...

Medic huffed as he opened the door, folding his arms and looking at Heavy. "I still can't believe it. Snowed in!"

"It was lodge, Doktor.. it should have snow."

"But we're in the middle of a desert, it was a desert lodge! How could it be snowed in?"

Heavy chuckled as he moved past him, stepping into the rec room and pausing at the sight. He felt Medic bump into his back before moving around him to see as well.

Scout and Spy sat on the floor, two bottles of wine - one clearly empty - and a mountain of clothes sitting beside them. Both dressed in mismatched outfits and laughing with each other. Spy was the one who noticed them finally when bringing his glass up to take a drink. He paused, looking at the mess and then back at them. "We.. were not expecting anyone to return so soon."

Medic only squinted. "..Spy, are you wearing my pants?"

Scout, already drunk, snickered and then leaned over to wrap his arm around Spy's shoulders. "Yeah, he's showin' me how to, uh.. what were we doin' with all this again?"

Spy looked over at him. "You tried wearing Demoman's kilt to a bar and I was not about to let you do that."

Scout pointed at Spy, looking to Medic. "Yeah, that!"

Medic only sighed, looking between the two. His question wasn't answered, and he only had even more questions now, but he was still too upset with not having a lodge for the weekend to care. Shaking his head, he turned to head to the bedrooms, Heavy following behind him. "You two are doing laundry for a week if you spill wine on anything."

Spy waited for them to leave before turning to Scout and grinning. "Do you think we should tell them we used his shirt to mop up the wine we spilled on the floor?"

"Well, in our defense, we didn't spill it ON his shirt."

The two laughed harder into the rest of the night, plans of going out to drink long since forgotten.

[mountainshroom]

Bird dad activities

[tiredbitchposts]

Ok, but Shen Jiu being Shen Yuan's father is so funny in a very tragic way. Shen Jiu is a ball of traumas and all types of issues and i truly believe there's not a single one that man doesn't have, so, you give him a baby!Shen Yuan, a little ball of life that depends on him for survival, cannot walk away from him and is culturally wired to pretty much love him and if not, to at the least respect him above all else, you cannot tell me that this man would be normal about him. Also, imagine Shen Jiu, who'd be the type of parent to project traumas the way only a mother could, having a child that looks like him but with a "sweeter" personality (which, by the way, is bullshit, they just have never seen that boy rip into a book he disliked but wouldn't stop reading) that has the effect on men Shen Yuan has, he'd lock that boy up in a tower to "cultivate" and consequently create a rumor about the Qing Jing's beauty who was so bewitching their peak lord father locked them in a tower because that's just his luck. Loving Shen Yuan wouldn't fix him, but it'd create a whole new set of issues that'd cancel out the other ones

[aloneinthedark-eagle]

Gang Of Thieves 🐦🥰😎😄🤣🐦

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 333

I once more believe Battinson Batman needs to be given a child. Or multiple. Multiple children. I am also once more rotating Ghosts Have Wings Au. 

So Batman, still early in his whole vigilante career ends up busting a shipment, nothing too surprising there. Pretty usual honestly. Except for what was in one of the crates already open. Because it looks like some sort of gemstones but… perfectly spherical. Strange. Suspicious. 

But it’s also late, er, early in the morning, and the GCPD is notoriously corrupt, so like, he’s not going to just leave the weird gemstones, each about the size of a plum or so. (Dear Gotham he’s apparently hungry, and might inwardly vow to never let anyone realize what his tired mind decided to use as measurement) 

So he, unknowingly spurred on by more than just a slight bit of ecto contamination, takes the strange spheres back home. Just puts them in his pockets and heads back to the manor that they moved back into after the whole Riddler mess. (He even found a cool cave! With a bunch of terrifying bats, but they made a glass separator! For safety!) 

But in Bruce’s defense of forgetting about them, he’s more than a little tired and hungry and just wants to sleep for a bit, y’know? So maybe he forgets about the gems as he falls asleep in the chair in the cave (Alfred was not pleased!) until he starts digging around for them. Erm. Did they fall out somewhere?? There’s no holes in his belt pockets… 

And maybe these sort of things shouldn’t slip his mind, the spheres had felt Weird with a capital W, but he gets forced to a circus and there’s an… accident. So maybe he pushed it away as not important because there’s now an angry grieving eight-year old living with him and he’s panickedly reading any and all sort of parenting books he can get a hold of because he has no clue what he’s doing. 

Yeah, maybe his back is itching like crazy no matter what he tries, and maybe he threw up the other day, but it’s fine. This is fine. 

….

Oh dear Gotham those are feathers, this is not fine- ALFREEED!

[parisoonic]

tone and negative

[triptychofvoids]

Devastating news: local dove has itchy pin feather.

oh poor thing.. we cant allow that can we?

[silmarillion-ways-to-die]

[bamsara]

being an adult means we can buy or make as much self-indulgent shit (as we can afford) and unironically have trinkets of our fave things cause our teen years was bullied for liking things and hiding/denying we were ever neurodivergent to the point of suicide. sucks for anyone that thinks its weird cringe but I'm going to try and allow myself to love myself in little ways now

[iaminsideyourwalls]

Goodness I love how you draw the mercs!! Like seriously your art is such an inspiration!

If your taking requests, can I get a Medic interacting with his birds/archimedes pretty please :3

aWWWWW

that's so nice to hear because i admire YOUR art (ˊ•͈ ◡ •͈ˋ)

here. bada bing and, if I may, bada boom. i made it a comic.

more bird-related content:

[trashy-panda09]

Strange thought but Sebek’s dad is definitely a Isekai protagonist.

Think about it:

He pursued being a dentist in a place where humans are mostly hated probably because he thinks fae are super cool and he wants to help them cause they don’t have a dentist and he wants a challenge when it comes to dentistry

Not to mention his super hot fae wife who could break boulders with her bare hands

And the super scary grandpa he pisses his pants thinking about

Oh the trials of love he went through to get daddy baul’s approval

But truth be told his wife probably didn’t give Baul much of a choice

“Either you let me marry this human or I leave and never come back!”

He basically checks off all the boxes for Isekai protagonist except he’s not op or anything. He’s just living life how he wants to and now he’s happily married with 3 beautiful children.

If this was a manga I would definitely 20/10 read. The usual Isekai manga plots are getting old and their protagonists suck.

Maybe I’ll just make it myself.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Alternative form of 'Hitting Wangxian with a Catboyification beam'

[murder-of-seppucrows]

hi I need you to know the two year old rose comic is one of my fav homestuck things ever

wtf thank you so much heres a baby rose for you

a roe even

[squidos-goodies]

“I think of where my family has gone, and I let all of it die for now, because there has to be focus for what comes next.”

[wolfythewitch]

Brutus seems to be doing better? I think? Part of me thinks there's some latent respiratory fuckery popping up from his previous owners. His exhales get whistley sometimes which I'm somewhat concerned about. It's not frequent but like it's there. My thing is a lot of these illnesses also list things like discharge/lethargy/loss of appetite/heaving as symptoms and he's never shown any of that which makes it way harder to figure things out

[archiarthur]

Two types of dads