#Billie Eillish

[ninetyninedays]

Charli xcx’s 32nd Birthday Party

pictures taken by The Cobra Snake on Saturday, August 3rd in L.A.

[ecstarry]

[pepsiluvr0209]

Ilomilo (Cinderella)

WARNINGS: Angst, Kidnapping, Death if you squint, Slight age regression if you squint real hard

Disclaimer: I understand the whole issue with romanticising mental health. As someone who does struggle with mental health, if you find subjects like this uncomfortable, then simply scroll by, a lighter Chris fic is on the way.

This is not to do with justifying any abusive actions, and if anyone treats you or someone you know that way, please tell somebody you trust and get yourself or anybody else out of the harmful relationship. This is simply a fanfiction, nothing else, but if you do find yourself uncomfortable then by all means stop reading.

(THIS IS AN AU FIC, NOTHING MATT WOULD DO OBV)

Matt Sturniolo x Reader

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧.˚ₓ

"Told you not to worry,

but maybe that's a lie"

“You can’t keep doing this Matt!” 

“Doing what, darling?” He looks at you with a malicious smirk, head tilting, showcasing his defined jawline and contrasted silver chain. 

“When am I going to be allowed out of this house without you constantly behind me? Like a- Like a shadow. When can I call my family huh?”

“Oh darling, we’ve talked about this.” Matt coos, gently holding your cheek in the palms of his cold hands. His shiny rings cool to your heated skin, making you wince in his hold. “Remember,” And he tilts your head up so he can stare into your glossy eyes. “You can leave whenever you want.” And he let’s go. “But you will regret it darling. Trust me.”

“Matt.” You whimper. 

“No baby. You’re mine. Remember angel? Mine.” And he holds your shaking frame to his chest, your cheek bathing in the scent of his musky cologne. 

The tears you shed left wisps of a broken romance, thread together by the bounds of Matt’s love. Of his obsessive, manipulating love. 

Pools of regret flow onto his black t-shirt as he holds you close. You needed to run. 

"Honey, what's the hurry?

Won't you stay inside?"

“Hey love, I’m just going to head out to the store.” Matt speaks, as he places a cap on his soft head of hair. 

“Okay.” You whisper. 

He smiles and kisses your forehead, his voice barely audible as he murmurs, “Don’t even think about leaving me.”

Sending waves of goosebumps along your skin, he smiles at you and caresses your cheek lovingly before you hear the door slam. 

You let go a terrified breath you didn’t even realise you were holding and raced to gather your stuff. It was now or never. 

Shoving things into a random bag, you run downstairs and look around before racing towards the front door. Just as you were about to make your exit, you hear a menacing voice. 

“I knew you would run sweetheart.” 

You’ve never heard a voice so cold. A voice so sharp it sent blades hurling towards your heart, piercing your skin and bruising your muscle. A frightened sob escapes your lips as you turn around and see your boyfriend standing down the hallway. The lighting cloaking half of his figure in a dark cloud. 

“I’m sorry.” You cry. 

“Step away from the door.” He says in a scarily sweet tone. “And I promise it’s all going to be okay.” You see him twisting around an object in his right palm, fingers nimbly twirling the blade making your blood run dry. 

“Y/n.” Matt growls warningly. He starts leering towards where your body is standing and you gasp in fear, turning towards the door, dashing towards the exit and potentially your freedom. 

You slam the front door shut and just run. You knew damn well Matt wasn’t stupid. He knew where you were going to go, but without a car there’s not really any other place else.

It should’ve been more obvious to you. The over-protectiveness, the threats, hell even moving to a town with barely anything in it. 

Walking red flags zoomed by your day to day life and you just ignored it as if it was the clouds painting the sky, or the maliciousness dripping off your lover's smile. 

Frantically, you banged on the door, sobbing for someone to let you in, having no idea if the man you once loved was hot on your tail. Finally it opened, and you threw yourself inside, ignoring Nate’s confused inquiries. 

“Hey, hey what’s wrong?” He grabbed your forearms and levelled towards your collapsing figure. 

“It’s M-Matt.” You choked. “He’s gonna be here soon. Hide.” 

Loud and bone-shivering knocks, banged through the whole house, shaking each of your nerves and polished floorboards. You whimper and hurtled yourself up Nate’s stairs looking for a place to hide. Grabbing a throw blanket off some bed you launch for the closet and cover yourself up, hyperventilating in the enclosed space. 

Nate had no clue what was going on, but he knew that his best mate was a bit of a protective character, so maybe there was a fight or something. He thought back to how distressed you looked and decided against opening the door, but when the loud, angry knocks resumed, he knew better than to leave Matt enraged. 

As soon as the innocent friend opened the door he was effortlessly clocked in the head, by a man with a tattooed arm. Matt. He stepped over his old friend’s body, his slow footsteps echoing throughout the semi-vacant house. “Oh angel,” He starts. 

Your body goes rigid as you lightly hear his voice echoing through the walls. “You never fucking listen!” Matt’s voice grew at the last three syllables, earning muffled sobs from your hiding place in the closet. “And look at where that got you.” His tone turned sickly sweet, gently walking up the carpeted steps, ready to catch what is rightfully his. 

“Oh darling, we’re gonna have so much fun. And I’ll make sure you never run from me. Ever. Again.” You can make out the door to the room across from yours creaking, signifying that Matt is getting closer and closer to sealing your doom. The closet is one where it is built by shutters, meaning if you squint through the blanket you can see your boyfriend's black jeans carefully entering the room adjacent to yours, through the slits in the closet door. You throw the blanket more over yourself, curling yourself against the floor to try and make yourself a less visible lump. 

“Sweetheart.” He taunts. “Don’t play these games with me baby. Come back to me.” The door to the guest room squeaks as he pushes it more open, and you hold your breath, silent tears of terror roll down your flushed cheeks. You can hear his soft footsteps get closer and closer, until they stop. You hear ruffling and then a voice right next to your ear. 

“I wish it didn’t have to happen this way.” 

The closet door flings open, and before you even have time to scream, his arms are already holding the blanket, you previously had on yourself, against your face, limiting your ability to breath. You claw at his strong hands, trying to wriggle out of his secure grasp, but it was too much. You can slowly feel yourself slipping away.

"The world's a little blurry, or maybe it's my eyes

The friends I've had to bury, they keep me up at night."

“Hi baby.” You can feel a hand graze your cold forehead, pushing stray hairs away from your face, so it frames your tired expression. Slowly blinking your eyes open, you realise you’re back here in you and Matt’s shared room. “My throat.” You can barely get out. “Oh, here.” And your boyfriend holds up a glass of water towards you, soft blue eyes gazing at your hunched figure expectantly. You reach to grab the fragile glass when you realise, you can’t. “What did you do?” You rasp, straining your wrists against the cold, sharp metal. You can feel the claustrophobic circles digging deeper and deeper into your skin as you restraint against them. “Shhh, nothing darling.” And he brings the cup to your lips. “Hold still.” He growls, his free hand firmly holding your jaw as he brings his steady hand to your trembling lips. Gently, Matt pours the water down your throat, some of the liquid tumbling from your mouth down to your shirt. “Here.” Matt whispers, as he tugs the sleeve of his hoodie, and wipes the water dribbling down your mouth, along with salty, stray tears that lingered on your face.

“Why?” You tremor. And Matt just sits across from you, admiring all of you, now that he has you to himself and you can’t leave. Ever. “Look at how pretty you look.” He cooes. “Matt.” You almost sob, awaiting his reply as to why he could be this cruel. “Oh angel, I know.” And he wraps his arms around your head, scooching himself so your back is pressed against his stomach, cradling you on his lap. “Do you want anything? Food? Cuddles?” “Home.” You choke out. “I want to go home.” Half of your face is pressed into Matt’s warm hoodie, but he still heard your wobbly sentence and it made his expression drop, turning into stone. “Darling,” He seeths. “You are home.” “Home.” You cry again, tears getting stuck in your throat causing you to cough erratically, gasping for breath. Matt sighs irritatingly and gently holds your sputtering figure by the waist, moving you off his lap. He gets up and just looks down at you. “Pathetic.” Matt then crouches down so you can look at him, pale face, red cheeks drenched in tears. “You might not love me baby, but you better learn to because nobody loves you more than me okay?” All you can do is nod at him, which leaves Matt with a satisfied smile on his face, and with that he exits the room.

"Try not to upset you, let you rescue me,

The day I met you, I just wanted to protect you."

Once Matt can’t hear your strangled cries, he figures now is an appropriate time to at least uncuff you, and see how you react. He’s been planning this for a while, his protective acts not going unnoticed by you, made him scared that you would leave him for someone who isn’t as batshit crazy as he is, but he can’t help it. He loves you.

“Sweetheart.” You hear the several locks on the door click, only to reveal the one person you're most afraid of at this moment. Your knees go up to your chest as you peek at him through thin strands of your hair. Matt crouches in front of you, placing his large, ringed hands on your knees, staring back at you with a small frown on his face. “I’m going to uncuff you.” Instant thoughts start racing through your head and just like he can see the gears turning in your skull, his expression turns serious and forcefully lifts your head up so you can make direct eye contact with him.

“Remember what we talked about love.” After a slight pause, he brings his right hand to his back pocket revealing a small silver key. Almost as if he was teasing you, he brings the item to the hole of your cuffs letting it linger there for a minute. All that could be heard was your heavy breaths, anticipating your release. With a sigh he clicks in the key, freeing your right hand then your left.

Flexing your wrists, Matt stands back, awaiting your decision. Stupidly, you eye the door and just hope God is on your side as you sprint towards the metal knob, sweaty palms twisting the rounded object with no avail. A broken sob leaves your wrists as you turn to Matt, pleading with him to let you go. Matt watches you and almost feels sorry for you, witnessing your distressed expressions and tired frame. But sickening enough, that sympathy is overrun by a heavy tank fuelled with pride. Seeing you like this almost gives him a sense of twisted joy, your tears fuelling his madness.

“You didn’t think I would make it that easy bug?” He pouts, arms coming behind you to hug your shaking figure. “No.” You sob. “If I let you go, you gonna leave?” “N-No.” “Good girl.” He whispers and lets go of carefully, leaving you alone by the door as he walks back towards the bed. “No.” You cry again and quickly pad over to him, making yourself home in his open arms. “There we go.” Matt gently praises, his hands holding you up to rest against his warm skin. Cologne filling your senses as you snuggle into his shirt, silently hating yourself for finding comfort in the man who scared you, but coincidently loving the way he held you close, and whispered love filled praises into your ears, kissing your forehead with utmost care.

"B-B-B-B-Breathe."

“Matt.” “Mmm, my love?” He mumbles, nudging his head with yours to show you that you’ve got his undivided attention. “Can we… Can we get food?” He looks at you, studying your tired features before softly sighing and pressing a gentle kiss to your lips. “Of course angel, there’s food downstairs.” He taps the side of your thigh as preparation for him to stand up, arms cradling you as he presses you close to his chest. Matt carried you downstairs, footsteps pressing against the plush carpet. “Here.” He mumbles, resting you on a kitchen stool, before he takes out takeaway thai from the fridge. Matt instantly picks up on your fidgety behaviour and he can see the thoughts in your eyes rushing miles a minute. “All of the doors are bolted shut my love, so don’t even try.” He speaks nonchalantly sifting through the plastic containers of pad thai and spring rolls. His statement makes you freeze up and slightly whimper. Even though you weren’t doing anything, the fact that you couldn’t leave, stripped you away of the stability you were feeling a mere 15 minutes ago.

Matt sighs, as he places 2 plates chock full of thai in the microwave, shutting the door and turning to face you. “Look, I didn’t want it to end up this way.” There’s a pause through his sentence as he walks towards you and tilts up your jaw so you're looking right at his face. “There are a lot of bad people out there baby- God knows how many people would even think twice to snatch you away or-or” “Kidnap me? Hold me hostage?” You hoarsely whisper and he clenches his jaw, hand still resting comfortably on the warm skin of your cheek. The microwave beeps.

“I’m just protecting you darling. Soon, you’ll learn to love me. But for now, this will have to do. Your mine. Correct, darling?”

You just nod your head in conformation. “Yours.”

"And I don't want to be lonely,

Was hoping you'd come home.

Even if it's just a lie."

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧.˚ₓ

sorry for the long break I missed youuuu

PLEASE LEAVE REQUESTS I GOT SM FREE TIME RN

I love u and remember your better than whatever Matt was playing at in this fic smh

also do u guys want a tag list? lemme know

[grl-rina]

Share Israa's story

Israa (ig: @israajamal97) has contacted me today and reached out to have her story told. I quote her exact words when I say she told me:

"I don't need money from you. I need you to share my story"

The situation in Palestine is dire, and we have no clue the true dangers and loss that these people are experiencing, not even if we've been following this through all of our social medias.

When conversating with Israa, she told me about her experiences in Gaza

Israa is 27, and she was very ambitious and career-oriented before this genocide. She majored in public relations and media, and wanted a career in cosmetology. Her path was very bright and hopeful, until the IDF attacked.

She, her mother, and sister lived together for 4 months under terrible conditions. Constant b*mbing and horror, never having any security or protection. Israa shared she and her family suffered with hunger and lack of clean water, which is a very pressing matter that is happening up until now all across Gaza.

On January 21st, Israa's family suffered a great loss when her mother was made a martyr by the IDF's violence. Israa describes:

"I lost the most precious thing a human being could own. I lost my soul when my mother was martyred and left me and my sister alone in this darkness."

Israa and her sister already experienced losing a parent before this war in 2012 with their father. The situation was already unlivable, now Israa feels life is unattainable in Gaza.

Though Israa does not aim to have donations and only share her story, I will leave her fundraiser here, incase someone may want to support. She has explained there has been a lack of donations, where she is trying to raise enough funds for both her and sister to evacuate.

If you are religious, I urge you to pray for Israa's and her sister's wellbeing. Life in Palestine is a constant fight against violence, against starvation, against thirst, against pain both psychologically and physically. There is little to no aid coming in, so Palestinians are put in a position where they are left to campaign or share their stories by themselves, like Israa.

Please pay attention to what is going on in Palestine. Nothing will change if we do not make the steps. Call out your representatives, call out politicians, challenge their complicity. Educate yourselves and stay involved with what is going on.

[lgrtha]

If you like alternative music with a lot of emo influence and would like to know an independent brazilian artist, then you should definitely listen to my new song Esse Gosto Ruim on Spotify 🍸 Elena Pentone

[emcarcia]

songs to make you feel like a villain playlists 💸✨

my spotify <3

[shoe-mug]

Lorde: I ride for you, Charli

Billie: I'd ride you, Charli

[synergysilhouette]

The best song from "Wish" could've fixed an issue I have with the movie

Granted, I have a FEW problems with this film, but one of them is how boring the scene is when singing "At All Costs"--but more than that, it's a missed opportunity. Asha was JUST talking about her dead dad, and Magnifico was JUST talking about his trauma from losing his family. However, for the rest of the film, Magnifico's past is ignored and never brought up again, and Asha's father is barely featured, playing a role that her mother or grandfather could've served instead. The song deserved to flesh out both of their backstories.

Overall, it was a great song with a visual that took away rather than added to it. Still hope Disney sends it to the Oscars--because "This Wish" is not gonna cut it, especially if "What Was I Made For?" competes as well.

[aesthetically-appealingg]

I'll love you till the day that I die

[limeade-l3sbian]

the "white celebrity gets tired of being 'black' and goes back to being 'white'" pipeline

[ohykjustalilfella]

if anyone has any good longform billie eilish fics/stories (preferably friends to lovers) lmk

f/f or gender neutral pls

[lunedits]

billie eillish for rolling stone

[ohdaylight]

Billie Eillish - avatars rpg 400x640

[teenytiny-ant]

I listen to one Billie eilish song and Spotify is spamming me with emails and notifications about her new album.

[nonsensical-npc]

[oneliferpg]

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Zendaya

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