#Bilbo is a BAMF

[thycursed]

Okay, do any of the people on here have good bagginshield fics where Bilbo just straight up brags in the Shire?

Like 'oh queer Baggins my ass Lobelia, talk to the heavily bejewelled hand while I ride in on a silken interior carriage' or 'yes, thank you for noticing Lobelia, I could buy the Shire twice over if I so wished too'. Where's my 'Ah I see you've met my husband, KING OF EREBOR'

Give me a little salty bitch, I know he has it in him.

[spoopyoopy]

He also asked for no pickles

[theficdealer]

“How do I—! How do I know!” Bilbo echoed, bristling with exasperation. “I journeyed all the way across Middle Earth, through forests and over the hills, crossed the Misty Mountains and the Great Greenwood through to the ruins of the great City of Dale and further still to Erebor, fighting goblins and orcs and giant spiders and a whole blasted war, then did the whole thing again in reverse, and you have the gall to ask me how I know!”

There was a beat of total silence. “Well, it was a reasonable question,” said Fortinbras, stung.

Bilbo drew in a long breath through his nose and gave an almighty huff. “Mark my words. All of you,” he said, pointing a finger at all the gathered faces, his voice tight with the desperation to be taken seriously. The dwarves would have listened. They would’ve had his back. “You must evacuate Hobbiton. Take only what you need to survive, and run. Go east. Forget your handkerchiefs and hang the silver spoons. Anyone who stays here, will die.”

“Now, Bilbo…”

He held up a hand to his cousin’s face. “No. No, don’t. You’ll see. Take my advice or don’t, you’ll see,” he said, casting a fearful glance at the smoke billowing from the ruins of the first raid. It was the pebble before the avalanche, and there were already more, thinner trails of smoke joining the larger one. A lump formed in his throat. They were already coming. He gave one last, loud proclamation to the crowd. “Flee on the east road. Tell anyone, everyone — we have no choice.”

—Excerpt from There Is One They Could Follow (One They Could Call Thain) by Oakensting (WorseOmens) on ao3

Basically, Bilbo pulls a Thorin Oakenshield and leads his people from the orc-ravaged Shire to safety. Meanwhile in Erebor, Thorin refuses to believe Bilbo is dead.

*staggers into the room Kramer-style covered in water, soot, glitter, and slivers of paper from the waste bin of a paper shredder like confetti* So, guess who just watched the lotr trilogy for the first time despite being a fan of the Hobbit for a literal decade! Also the last two (three?) months have sucked ass and I’m exhausted, so buckle up.

Anyway, this is one of my comfort fics, I love it so much. Everything from the Pining(TM) to the blatant parallels between the dwarves and hobbits.

Things I loved in particular:

Gandalf the White Ox

Kíli taking one look at Thorin and being like “oh I know exactly what’s going on here”

Hamfast and Drogo

Petty Thorin

Seriously, he’s so petty I love it

Bard just being like “yeah, that’s pretty much how I was when I lost my wife”

The r e u n i o n

“you’re like a hobbit king!” “my title is thain, actually” *incredulous staring*

splash fight<3

The acorn speech<3<3<3

The “New Polite”

Dwobbit debate

read it or the ulnas are mine <3

[bitkahuna]

“I heard you died.”

Bilbo was snapped out of this thoughts as he turned to Frodo. The hobbit took a deep breath, sighing and closing his eyes. “I … I did, yes. I died.” He swallowed hard as he opened his eyes. It wasn’t pleasant to think about. “I spoke with Yavanna. She … she said she would bring me back if I stayed in Erebor, and, by Thorin’s side.”

Frodo snapped up into a seated position. “You what?”

Bilbo said nothing. He wasn’t sure if he was ashamed or embarrassed, but whatever it was, it didn’t feel good.

“You made a deal with Our Lady of the Shire to, to what? Watch over Erebor and it’s king?” His eyes were wide. Frodo couldn’t place the feelings inside himself. He was shocked, to be sure. But he was also, scared. Bewildered. Confused. “What’s coming that Erebor needs to be protected from?”

Bilbo’s tense face dropped to one of dumbfounded fear. He’d never though to wonder that.

———

Excerpt from the new chapter I just posted

[sunnyrosewritesstuff]

Guarding Alliances

Rating: G

Warnings: N/A

Status: Complete (4/4)

Tags: Alternate Universe - Bilbo Remains In Erebor | Kingdom politics | Political Alliances | Established Relationship | BAMF Bilbo Baggins | Thranduil is a jerk | but he has his reasons | Bilbo & Thranduil Adventure | Bilbo still finding trouble

Summary: Bilbo Baggins, Ushmar Uzbâdu and newly engaged to the King of Erebor, must now face a challenge of a different kind: a manipulative Elf King. However, with his own brand of finding trouble and getting out of it again, Bilbo may just be able to get to the heart of the matter and improve relations between their kingdoms forever.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

New Chapter: Chapter 4- A True Guardian of Kings

“I assume you have a plan?” Thranduil pestered him for the umteenth time. 

“I’m working on it.” Bilbo grit out.

Thranduil pursed his lips but didn’t utter another word. Bilbo could see he was hurting. His leg injury was no joke, and the orcs weren’t about to take it easy on them. Sometimes speeding up to a jog until Thranduil would fall over. Then they would drag him back to his feet and begin their march again. 

The problem was, they were outnumbered, they had no weapons, and even worse, Bilbo had lost his clever little ring. In fact, he had gone nearly maniac when he realized that fact until an orc bashed him over the head with its fist. There was still an itching under his skin that demanded he go back, but he needed to bide his time. His sword, on the other hand, was hanging from the lead orc’s belt. He took one look at it, gave Bilbo a long assessing look, before stuffing it in a spare loop. Bilbo didn’t know what that meant just yet, but he had a feeling he was going to find out. 

Dol Guldur stood in the distance, a dark looming ruin, promising evil things. However, the orcs stopped a little ways outside the fortress. Where the webs were still thick in the trees. 

“Bring the little one forward!” The orc in the lead ordered.

Bilbo cursed and struggled, Thranduil almost looking worried for him, as he was brought to the front and thrown to the ground.

“Ugzaul!” The orc cried into the woods. “We have brought your Stinging Fly!”

For more of this chapter, please click the AO3 link above!

[lucigoo]

hiya! ❤️ for the WIP tag, I'd like to know more about the frodo one please 👀

Of course, Its cute one imo. Frodo is tired of Uncle Bilbo being sad, he gets even sadder when he gets letters from his dwarves far away. So whats a faunt to do but go there and let Mr King Dain let Uncle Bilbo visit. And if Frodo is there, Uncle Bilbo will visit, hopefully the dwarves will sotp him grounding Frodo forever, but if Uncle Bilbo smiles, it will be worth it. Snippet:

"Dain isn't the King laddie. He's Lord of the Iron Hills. Dain doesn't live in Erebor.” Balin explained gently.

The hobbit's little face screwed up in confusion. "Yes he does, he's King under the Mountain,  Uncle said so. He said he didn't deserve it, because he did nothing but kill a few orcs at the end. Uncle said he came in and stole Thorin's throne because Thorin was an idiot and went and upped and died." 

Every dwarf in the hall went quiet and Thorin choked on his saliva in surprise. Fili bashed him on the back, not taking his eyes off the tiny child in front of them.

"Lad, is your Uncle Bilbo Baggins?" Balin asked hopefully. The lad nodded his head enthusiastically.

Thorin stood once again and slowly moved forward. "But ... but Bilbo Baggins, Hero of Erebor is dead." He said sadly.

"No, he isn't, he's at Bag End, well, actually, he's probably on his way and really mad at me" the little hobbit answered with a sheepish smile. 

"And why is your Uncle mad at you lad? What's your name too if you don't mind my asking?" Balin asked, gaining the lad's attention again. 

The boy stood as tall as possible "Frodo Baggins, son of Drogo and Primula, ward of Bilbo Baggins at your service" he said, giving a very dwarven bow and then adding quietly to Balin "Uncle said that's how dwarves introduce themselves and we should always be polite because otherwise they might throw your plates and sing daft songs".

[fanfictions-i-cant-write]

What if when a hobbit’s life is threatened they go feral? Animal instinct takes over completely they feel no pain can't distinguish friend from foe and will bite and scratch and do anything to survive.

They become seemingly invincible, unaffected by any injury in this feral state. Many hobbits entered this feral state during the Fell Winter when wolves and starvation threatened them.

The company discovers this quirk when Bilbo goes feral during the Troll attack when he scratches and claws at anyone who comes close to him—throwing himself at the trolls again and again, seemingly unaffected when they slap him away like an annoying fly. Even when shoved in a sack ready to be eaten, he growled and hissed, biting at the ropes.

When morning comes, and the trolls turn to stone, he’s freed from his sack, and immediately, he attacks the nearest dwarf. Only when Gandalf speaks to him is he calm enough to come out of the feral state and immediately collapse.

[consultingpacha]

Bagginshield - Breath of the Wild AU I sketched back when I was obsessed with Breath of the Wild (I still am lol)

First two are cinematic scenes, the last one is a test of how it would look a conversation in game, with relevant info maked in blue, and the autosave Rune on top (the outfit of King Thorin is inspired in the one King Roham in game because it was too 🔥 to ignore)

This is basically a “when your husband got a healing sleep of a hundred years and he can’t remember shit after you wake him up”.

[constellationoverlord]

Looking for podfics to listen to at work any suggestions?

[fanficwriting1]

A Tale of Smoke and Flame Chapter 4

Bilbo did not mind the rain, he found it quite enjoyable. But he found that his dwarven companions minded the rain very much from their grumblings and curses. 

He found himself walking next to the group, his stick leaving muddy indents in the road. Minty - the horse that had been prepared for him to ride - had taken one look at him and had outright objected to his riding her, riling up whenever he reached for his reins. 

It was not unusual for him, many creatures inherently feared him for what he truly was, despite any intentions he might have. Perhaps it was good that he was traveling with dwarrow - they often struggled to see past appearances, and found it difficult to feel that inherent feeling of danger that could easily come by being near him.

“Is it not tiring to only be on your feet, Mr. Boggins?” Kili had pulled his horse closer to Bilbo so he was walking next to him.

“Not at all. Hobbits take walking holidays often, Master Kili. We find it much preferable to riding. We have the feet for it as well, they’re able to withstand nearly anything.”

“Do many of your kind travel?” 

Thorin’s question caught Bilbo off guard, as well as the majority of the company. Thorin, who had apparently no interest in the topic, had suddenly taken an interest.

“Quite a few.” Bilbo replied. “It tends to be the hobbits on the Took side, but there are the occasional others.”

Thorin nodded.. 

“And what of your lifespans?” came another question from an unexpected party. Dwaln’s face was stoic as he asked.

“Typically around 100 years, although Gerontious Took is getting up there. I dare say he may beat everyone else in age.”

He received a grunt in response from Dwalin.

The rain seemed to come down harder after that, slamming into the company with all it had.

“Gandalf, can’t you do anything about this deluge?” Gloin asked. 

“It is raining, Master Dwarf, and it will continue to do so until the rain is done. If you wish to change the weather of the world, you should find yourself another wizard.”

“What’s the point of having a wizard if he can’t do anything about this blasted weather?” Gloin grumbled.

Gandalf raised an eyebrow at Gloin, and Gloin turned quickly back to his business. 

—

They set up camp near a ruined farmhouse. The site was familiar to both Gandalf and Bilbo.

He could smell the beasts in the air. Old and musty, he waited as he heard crashing from the foliage to his right, Fili and Kili crashing through the trees. If they had any intention to disguise their coming, they had failed horribly.

“Trolls!” Kili shouted, bursting into camp. “Me and Fili found trolls!”

The camp immediately became full of the dwarrow drawing their weapons, questions about where the trolls were and how many, and if they knew they were there.

“They’re not alive.” Fili said. 

The group of dwarrow stopped, surprised. 

Thorin pushed to the front. “What do you mean?”

Fili gestured for the group to follow him, and led them all to a campsite that had long been abandoned, and was surrounded by three large trolls. The trees surrounding the trolls had been burned to a crisp, black and cracked. “Minty had wandered off from the group and Kili went to grab her.” Fili explained. “When he found her she was in this area.”

“It looks like there was a fire out of control.” Balin remarked, lightly touching the trees. “Strange that it only burned within a specific area. It must have been contained quickly.”

“How do you think they turned to stone?” Ori asked. 

“Stayed out too long,” Dori said, giving a meaningful glance toward Ori. “Bad things happen when you stay out too long.” 

A comment obviously made for another purpose, Bilbo watched as Nori jumped it. “It isn’t always a bad thing to stay out so late - I’m sure they had fun.”

“Fun doesn’t prevent the consequences.” Dori seethed, glaring at Nori. 

As Nori puffed to make another remark, Bilbo spoke up.

“The Bounders handled these trolls. They found them a few years ago when travelers on this road kept going missing.”

The dwarrows attention immediately moved to him as he spoke. 

“Bounders?” Fili asked. 

“They are the closest thing hobbits have to a military power. Their main duty is to protect the safety of the Shire. These trolls had gotten far too close for comfort and had already taken some hobbits. That led to the Bounders searching for the lost hobbits and stumbling across the trolls.”

The dwarrow looked at Bilbo with new eyes, while Bilbo looked at the statues of the trolls. While he couldn’t tell the dwarrow what truly had occurred with the trolls, he did not only speak lies. 

Gandalf placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. Bilbo gave him a grateful nod. 

“How often do your Bounders go out to look for people?” Thorin asked. “Do they go far in their searches?”

“When searching for a hobbit, no expense is spared,” Bilbo said. He had a feeling he knew why Thorin and Dwalin seemed so interested in learning about hobbit traveling habits. Still, Bilbo had no intention of revealing the answers they wanted - it would only serve to make matters more complicated than was needed.

—

He shifted uncomfortably back at camp. Although the trolls had been taken care of years ago, Bilbo still had some foreboding sense about staying the night in such an area. Gandalf seemed to have the same feeling and had taken to warn Thorin. 

“I would not stay here if I were you, Thorin Oakenshield.”

“We go no further. The company is weary and this is a satisfactory place to rest.”

“I think it would be wiser to move on. We could make for the Hidden Valley.”

Thorin’s face automatically soured. “I have told you already, I will not go near that place.”

“Why not? The elves could help us! We could get food, rest, advice.”

“I do not need their advice.” Thorin spat, turning away from Gandalf. 

Gandalf huffed before stepping away from Thorin and going towards Bilbo.

“I’m afraid I must step away to find my reason once more, dear Bilbo.” he shook his head. “I’m afraid you and I are the only ones in this company with any semblance of sense.” 

Bilbo laughed. “I fear you are right. For all the senses the dwarrow have, they seem to lack one for future danger.”

Gandalf nodded solemnly. “Watch them while I’m away. Though I leave shortly, I do worry that something shall occur.”

Bilbo nodded. “I feel the same. I shall watch over the group to the best of my ability - they do have the only way into the Lonely Mountain, after all.”

Nodding once more, Gandalf left, distracted. 

“What was that about?” Ori came to stand by Bilbo. “Where’s he off to?”

“To gather his wits, Master Ori. He shall be back soon enough.” 

—

Bofur and Bilbo had been placed on first watch that night. The air was cool and soft against the skin, while the air was full of the quiet sway of the trees and movement and chirps of creatures unseen.

Bilbo paused. A strange scent permeated the air, slightly bitter and pungent, accompanied by cold fog that slithered into the camp. 

He growled as the fires extinguished itself, the last curls of smoke wisping away. 

“How strange.” Bofur remarked, rising to stir the fire back to life. Bilbo stopped him, ears twitching.

He did not like this. If it was what he thought it was . . .

A cold presence entered his mind and Bilbo hissed. The wights should not have been able to travel here, constrained as they were. 

“Bilbo?”

“Wake the dwarrow.”

“What?”

“Wake the dwarrow! To your feet!” he shouted, grabbing his blades. “Move!”

The dwarrow scrambled for their weapons, eyes bleary and searching for their enemies. 

Stillness hung in the air and the dwarrow looked at one another, confused by the lack of enemies.

“What is the meaning of this, burglar?” Thorin growled, weapons loose in his hands. “You’ve awoken us for some fog?” anger was barely constrained in his voice, amplified by Bilbo’s look of distraction. 

“Back to your bedrolls!” Thorin snarled and stalked towards Bilbo.

“The wights will soon be upon us,” Bilbo said. 

“The wights? You woke the company for some hobbit lore?” Thorin scoffed. “Everyone! Back to your rolls!” he glared at Bilbo, walking over to him. “I do not know what amusement you derive from depriving my company of their rest, but if you do it once more, I shall have you take leave of this company and find your way back to your home.”

Bilbo frowned. “Master Oakenshield, if you wish for your entire company to perish tonight, let them sleep.”

“What is Mahal’s beard is that?” cried Bombur. 

The dwarrow turned towards the trees and watched as figures emerged. 

“Those, Master Bombur, are Barrow Wights.”  

[smoking-old-toby]

so i fr thought i escaped bagginshield hell (been playing hades game lately and can only focus on one media at a time) but then i started reading all ahead, full sail (my switch was charging) and omg it's so good you should all read it if you haven't already

[green-fifteen]

Author: @soabas-world

Fandom: The Hobbit

Relationship: Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield

Summary:

Bilbo Baggins accidentally kills Smaug and has to figure out how to go tell the Dwarrow who are waiting for him to come back with that stupid stone.

Tags:

Hobbit Culture & Customs, Dwarf Culture & Customs, Canon Died a Horrible but Necessary Death, Green Magic, Khuzdul, Families of Choice, BAMF Bilbo Baggins, Overprotective Dwarves

Podfic length: 00:15:57

Streaming, MP3, and MB4 available.

[lucianajellyfish]

*sigh* just noped out of a fic with an interesting premise because suddenly gaining magic powers made all of the hobbits thin. I was gonna ignore/pretend it was a sudden strain on the body and they'd soon all be fat again....then the author decided they needed to pov a guy, have him think about how he'd thought his fat wife was hot because she was fat, but one look at new skinny wife an omg she's so much hotter now!

[bitkahuna]

Gríma was seated before Bilbo’s desk, having been waiting on him. That pale face with those gaunt eyes reminded him all too much of someone he’d once known. On his face was a smirk that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

"What I want, Master Baggins, is to understand.” His tone was still fairly formal, though not as much as Bilbo had heard it before. "You've been quite the thorn in my side lately, haven't you? Foiling my plans at every turn. And now breaking into my private quarters? Tsk, tsk."

Ah. So the game was done.

-----

"Tell me, Master Baggins, in those moments when the ring whispered its promises, did you truly care about the morality of it all? Or did you simply want?"

Bilbo felt a flush of shame creep up his neck. "Of course I wanted it.” He admitted quietly. "But wanting something doesn't make it right. I was tempted, Gríma. Sorely tempted. I can admit that. Had the ring not been destroyed when it wa-” He couldn’t finish that sentence, so he started a new one. ��But I didn’t need the ring. I did it on my own, and it is immensely more satisfying that way.” His voice got a touch quieter, considering some dark truth that he’d never voiced to anyone until now. No one else would understand. “I think I would have gotten bored of it.”

The advisor leaned back in his chair, a contemplative look crossing his face. "Bored." He repeated, as if tasting the word. "An interesting choice. Most would say they'd feel guilty or that the artificiality would eat at them. But you … you'd grow bored.”

Bilbo shrugged. “Getting every whim and desire fulfilled at a moments notice certainly sounds fun but … after the first few months, years … would it not grow boring?” He posited with an almost playful lilt to his voice. “There’s no fight, no triumph or accomplishment. Just the world being forced to fit a mold. No surprises or challenges. I just, I think it would get boring.”

Gríma's eyes narrowed as he studied Bilbo intently. For a long moment, silence stretched between them, heavy with unspoken thoughts. Then, unexpectedly, a hint of amusement flickered across the advisor's face. "Boredom." He mused, tapping his fingers on the arm of the chair. "I suppose I never considered that particular pitfall of ultimate power." He leaned forward slightly. “You continue to surprise me, Master Baggins. Most would be content with endless pleasure and power. But you, you crave the challenge, don't you? Tell me, what do you find so enticing about the … struggle?"

Bilbo hated every part of this. He had the most awful feeling in his chest. Like he was being lured into something. Here he was, confessing every dark thought and desire to his own worst enemy solely because they may be the only two people in Arda who can truly understand.

“I like winning.” He didn’t look like the hobbit he used to be.

-----

Just posted!!

[sunnyrosewritesstuff]

Guarding Alliances

Rating: G

Warnings: N/A

Status: In-progress (2/5)

Tags: Alternate Universe - Bilbo Remains In Erebor | Kingdom politics | Political Alliances | Established Relationship | BAMF Bilbo Baggins | Thranduil is a jerk | but he has his reasons | Bilbo & Thranduil Adventure | Bilbo still finding trouble

Summary: Bilbo Baggins, Ushmar Uzbâdu and newly engaged to the King of Erebor, must now face a challenge of a different kind: a manipulative Elf King. However, with his own brand of finding trouble and getting out of it again, Bilbo may just be able to get to the heart of the matter and improve relations between their kingdoms forever.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

New Chapter: Chapter 3- Guarding Even When It's You

“I did what I had to in order to ensure my people’s survival.”

“By fixing symptoms to the problem, instead of the root of it?” Bilbo exclaimed, waving his hands for good measure.

“What would you know?” Thranduil snapped, his eyes flashing dangerously. “I had no allies left, thanks to Thror’s greed, other than the Lakemen who were worse off than ourselves. We set up parameters and kept that vileness away from our home for as long as we could.”

Thranduil straightened, taking a deep breath almost as if to regain his composure. “None of us knew the source, not even Aiwendil. However, now that has changed. We have allies again and the rot of Dol Guldur has been cleared out for the most part.”

“Can’t you feel it?” Bilbo asked desperately. “The trees still cry out. They are long from being healed fully.”

Thranduil’s eyes widened before his gaze fell to Bilbo. It was an almost desperate sort of awe that nearly had Bilbo gasping. He couldn’t. Thranduil couldn’t sense life in the same way Bilbo could. That’s why he didn’t know he was using the wrong water on his flowers. That’s why he thought these spiders were the last of his problems. Was that why he wanted Bilbo to complete this task? It wasn’t the invasion of privacy, he thought Bilbo had done something to make a noticeable difference in the flowers. Something more than knowing the right kind of water to bring them to fruition. 

“You were actually going to send me on a suicide mission to test out a theory.” Bilbo marveled. “And you have the gall to think the dwarves are pig-headed?”

For more of this chapter, please click the AO3 link above!

[lucigoo]

It Was Never What It Seemed

My latest Bagginshield fic is now up.

This has een almost a years work of sweat and tears and I have @sunnyrosewritesstuff to thank for being the best cheerleader I could ever ask for.

This fic can get a bit heavy, so please do mind the tags, but this has come from deep within e ad I hope you all enjoy it.

A03 link here

Summary: It has been 8 years since Bilbo has lest stepped foot in Erebor. He needs to talk to his husband, especially as he is now about to marry another. Another who is not Bilbo.

Bilbo left and when he did he left Thorin broken hearted. Now he is to marry a Blakcklock Princess, consequences be damned.

Follow along with our favourite dwarf and hobbit as they find their way back to one another, No matter how painful the journey is.

And as always a snippet:

Bilbo waited until Anette (the same worker he had hired all those years ago to man his stall when someone who could recognise him came by and who still worked with him) came back from where she had been trying to get a closer look. They were chatting away when Bilbo asked who the new dwarves were. “Oh, their Blacklock dwarves. From the Orocarni mountains,” she eagerly answered him. Bilbo scrunched up his nose. “But those mountains are so far away from here, that’s a long way to trade,” he thought out loud. Annette laughed at Bilbo’s obliviousness. He was usually much more up to date with his gossip than this, wielding it like a weapon when he was in the market with the other traders. “Well, they aren’t here to trade,” she said with a smile. At Bilbo’s questioning noise, she continued. “Rumour has it they are here for a wedding.” Bilbo’s head spun. “Who’s wedding?” He wouldn’t believe that Thorin would make a political alliance with their boys, but that was the only reason for such a large delegation to come. A royal wedding. Bilbo closed his eyes and hoped Fili or Kili weren’t being married off. After all, surely their mother, the Princess Dis, wouldn’t allow that to happen. Annette laughed at him again. “Silly dwarf, how are you so far behind? The rumours about the King’s wedding are all everyone has been talking about for months,” she said with a smile. Bilbo felt his whole body freeze. The King’s wedding. The King couldn’t have a wedding. Thorin couldn’t marry a strange dwarf. Thorin WOULDN’T marry a strange dwarf, right? Annette looked at him, shocked at his obvious reaction. Bilbo’s face was screwed up in confusion, and if she didn’t know better, Annette would have thought in pain.  “Aren’t you pleased your King has found a worthy spouse?” She asked. “Especially after all thought him craft wed for so long.” Bilbo had to snort at that. Thorin wasn’t craft wed, he was as far from craft wed as a dwarf could get. He just hadn’t met his One until he walked through a bright green door in The Shire. Those kisses, touches, looks, caresses, and more were not those of a dwarf playing around or just having a quick fumble. They were of a dwarf, madly in love after so many years of believing he would be alone until he returned to the stone. Bilbo felt his tears trickle down his cheeks as he turned away from his friend, unable to continue the conversation and not caring how rude it may look. He somehow composed himself enough to see out the last hour or so before explaining that he felt unwell and had to return home. After packing up early, he made his way home with all haste. He needed to return to Frodo and speak to him. They had things to do.

Also just because I think it is brilliant, until today and posting the completed fic, the title was "You're Still Married, Stupid Dwarf," and that baout sums Thorin up, lol.

I hope you enjoy <3