#Big Ass Spider!

[the-ever-flowing-styx]

everyone get ready for the long awaited sequel to the big ass spider! liveblog

it’s coming…

[yesterdanereviews]

Big Ass Spider! (2013)

Film review #638

Director: Mike Mendez

SYNOPSIS: A lowly insect exterminator gets in over his head, as a giant spider that escaped from a military research facility starts to wreak havoc on a hospital. It's a race against time to destroy the spider before it grows ever larger and begins to reproduce...

THOUGHTS/ANALYSIS: Big Ass Spider! is a 2013 sci-fi film. Starring Greg Grunberg as cash-strapped pest controller Alex Mathis, he gets caught up in the usual sci-fi shenanigans of a mutant experiment gone wrong, and escaping from a military research lab to wreak havoc. Slipping into the role of a film that recognises that is cheap schlock and a homage to the b-movie monster film in equal measure. It doesn't try to be anything else, and it feels fairly comfortable in it's role, as the cast try to stop the spider before it continues to grow and eventually reproduce. The film does have some highlights though: the gore is well done, with faces being ripped off and the like, and adds a bit of excitement to the film. On the other side, the film keeps a sense of fun, so you're never bogged down too much in the film trying to take itself seriously. maybe these two things don't mix too well, but in keeping with it being cheap shlock that knows what it is, it isn't too much of a problem.

I thin the best way I can sum up this film is that it feels like a cartoon: the characters are seriously one-dimensional, and every scene with them in is so predictable with regards to what they are going to say. The prime example of this is the security guard whose only role is being the comedy relief and being Mexican: every joke revolves around him being Mexican, and eventually you do get tired of it. The film also follows the old b-movie trope of having a solitary female character, who of course serves as the main characters love interest. I know it's meant to play on these typical tropes, but the film really clings to them so closely that it doesn't give itself room to do anything else. I think the best way to describe this film is that it feels like a cartoon: while there may be some serious stuff happening, the characters are playing very strict and flat roles, and never stretch out beyond them. That's not necessarily a bad thing though. Sure, Big Ass Spider! is predictable nonsense that won't surprise you or change your life, but it does focus on having a bit of fun, and it genuinely shines through. Sometimes it feels like it's trying too hard to stick to that one-dimensionality in the characters and setup, but it's honestly more fun and entertaining than a lot of similar movies out there. The effects are cheap, the characters are predictable, but still manages to hold itself together for the runtime to at least make it entertaining.

[moviesandmania]

Arachnophobia: Spiders on Screen - article

A fear of spiders is one of the most common phobias that people have (technical term: arachnophobia). Even normally fearless individuals can be reduced to quivering wrecks by the sight of a tiny house spider lurking in the bathtub, and even those of us who don’t have a terror of all things eight-legged would admit that it’s pretty unnerving to see a spider dangle from a web in front of your face…

[thewistlingbadger]

Fuck Miguel because HES actually the first anomaly. He abused his power/ability to travel between universes to take the place of someone else. Had he not done that, that universe and everything in it would still be around. But Miles? Miles ACCIDENTALLY got bit by spider that wasn't where it was supposed to be. How tf was he supposed to know that?

[flashfuckingflesh]

To Do EVIL, You Must Pay EVIL a Ton of Euro. "La Petit Mort 2: Nasty Tapes" reviewed! (Unearthed Films / Blu-ray)

Step Back into La Maison de “La Petit Mort” for a Sequel that’s Hard to Stomach!   La Maison de la Petit Mort’s doors remain open under new management, continuing to serve the dark web public interest with a wide variety of snuff services.  For the right price, a fantasy-driven in-person torture show can be arranged for your liking, and one can be an commanding observer or one can get their…

[jasmancer]

BLACK PUNK CRASH COURSE!!!

BLACK PUNK OGS

Death

X-Ray Spex

Bad Brains

Pure Hell

Fishbone

MODERN BLACK PUNK ARTISTS

Ho99o9

The Muslims

Pleasure Venom

Fuck U Pay Us

Big Joanie

Nova Twins

MORE NAMES TO KNOW

Tina Bell: frontwoman of the band Bam Bam, often called the Godmother of grunge because of its influence. Racism within the scene has led to her influence being pretty extensively erased but her bandmate and lifelong friend Scotty Buttocks has been working hard to counteract that by doing press and preserving their music here. Kurt fucking Cobain was their roadie

Betty Davis: 70s funk rock legend who just recently passed away. Incredibly unique performer that was way ahead of her time. Not to be confused with Bette Davis.

Sistah Grrrl Riots: A black punk collective put together in response to alienation and racism in the 90s punk and riot grrrl scenes. Organized by legends Tamar-Kali Brown, Honeychild Coleman, Maya Glick, and Simi Stone. You can read more about sistah grrrl in this article.

Ronnie Spector: Frontwoman of the Ronettes and rock n roll pioneer. Black girl groups were a huge influence on the sound of Rock n Roll as we know it from The Beatles to Led Zepplin to the Rolling Stones. She recently passed but her autobiography came out last year and it's worth the read.

READ A FUCKING BOOK

Black Diamond Queens: African American Women and Rock and Roll by Maureen Mahon

Rip It Up: The Black Experience in Rock N Roll by Kandia Crazy Horse (Anthology)

Shotgun Seamstress Zine Anthology by Osa Atoe

BONUS LINKS

POC Zine Project @poczineproject

Maya Glick's Storm fan film RAIN

Black Women in Rock Archive

IMDb for the documentary Afro-Punk (2003) currently not available for streaming in the US

[eightyonefour]

oscarpiastri: Holiday snaps ☀️🇦🇺

[oldphanny]

I like how Dan made fun of Phil for wanting attention as if he wasn't fully prepared to throw hands with whatever was under that desk.

[thatcatangelwriter]

I think after her time at the spider society gwen can be very creepy at times, but like doesn't realize it or register it well.

Like she's gwen stacy. The cursed lover. The doomed girl. She is the face of thousands of corpses. The face of thousands of what ifs. A bittersweet dream. A constant longing.

Most of the time when people look at her they don't see her they see someone else. Her simply existing turns the entire society into a haunted house. She's a ghost, she's better off invisible and while I don't think it's intentional she gets pushed to the side a lot by most people I think Miguel, Jess and Peter might be the exception in this concept but even then its gets complicated due to her connection with Miles and eventually this kinda starts rubbing off in an unsettling way.

Gwen is implied to be very high ranking in the society. Jess calls her "her star pupil" and Lyla warned Gwen about the spot before Hobie and Pavitr. And Miguel's "You knew better, Gwen !" She justs seems to be a part of Miguel's gang of higher ups with Peter B and Jess and all that and considering the fact that she's been there for just a few months that's saying something.

I think Gwen took a lot of training and missions to prove herself, and maybe Miguel sent her on more missions to distract her from Miles and stuff. Hell he might have trained her along with Jessica at times which considering how stern they can be I wouldn't be suprised if this rubbed off on gwen who didn't really have anyone else besides Peter and Hobie. Like she has been Spider Woman more than gwen stacy at this point.

Speaking of Spider Woman, I think it's a good time to bring up how gwen's mental state gets fucked up around her identity as a superhero and how it plays into my idea of her being creepy thing. Because like Spider Woman is litteraly considered a murderer in her dimension and isn't very liked. And while yes its true that in most universes Spider Man has its haters. It's way worse in Gwen's dimension like in the comics she gets shocked when people thank her kinda bad. She has supporters but sadly the people who call her a monster are the most vocal. Like even her dad saw Spider Woman that way and even after finding out who she was still pulled a gun at her face so yeah.

Gwen already blames herself for Peter's death and general public opinion doesn't really help with leaving that guilt behind. She internalizes those things. So I think that do her deep internal feelings Gwen might be at times more ruthless and violent than your typical spider hero which can already be shocking especially in contrast to how graceful she can be as spider woman . I don't think she wants to be. But i think its just the internal intrusive thought "No matter what I do I am a monster why pull back ?" And with her whole canon event I think she might be prone to being reckless and throwing herself at danger and being the one to make the biggest sacrifice because hey she is already fated to die.

So yeah I think that at times when the stakes are high Gwen is one of the scariest spiders when she snaps. Like the treatment she received and internalized kinda jumps out and its not pretty at all. And even just in context of her not being in a mission i still think she can be cryptid looking because she kinda acts like she's invisible and just avoids being noticed due to all the peters around.

Like just imagine her beat up with a broken mask and all you see are her cold eyes and its weird because its almost like you have a dead person staring at you and in some ways that's exactly what it is. Or her accidentally scaring people because she's so quiet that they don't see her coming.

Just her looking like a dead girl walking and yeah maybe in a way she is but...it just looks to real and unsettling.

One last thing about this, Miles notices and hates every second of it. In fact I think all of her close friends hate it.

[froggieetmblr]

fellas is it sick if I had a crush on a hologram

[the-ever-flowing-styx]

live reacting to ‘Big Ass Spider’ because i like to spread misery

Immediately bad vibes from ‘Splendid Film’, ‘Epic Pictures’ and ‘Film Entertainment Pictures’

what is this opening shot

he looks so emotionless and yet surprised

decent sfx ngl but that GREEN SCREEN

French man with a gay run

boobs

that sure is a Big Ass Spider!™️

why does he look happy now?????

TITLE SCREEN

butterworth

is that old lady groping him

‘butterWORTHLESS’

is this movie secretly anti-government????

she’s flirting with him ew

is he dead??

immediate ass shot on the first female character

gratuitous shirt removal

is he pretending to be a spy??

he is such a slut

he is a slutty slutty man

the score thinks this is a horror movie

the corpse is movinggg

spoke to soon on the score oops

spidey fingies

why is the light flickering????

is that a drill holy shit that is pathetic

WHY IS THE LIGHT FLICKERING

IT'S A SPIDER

nom

my favourite part of big ass spider is when the big ass spider said it’s spider time and spidered all over the place

fire alarm with no thingy to hit it

gay

argue argue

what are those hand movements

fthpthpthp

the morgue guy looks horrified

this plot wouldn’t happen if it wasn’t set in America

this movie has very unsubtle anarchist overtones

JESUS FUCK THAT BITE

the boss took a shot of aspirin what why

he looks bewildered

the security guard pulled a GUN on him

apparently this is a buddy cop movie but the buddies aren't cops???

fuckin ew bro

maybe it was a spider monkey

he's so deadpan i love him

rotating jose from big ass spider! in my head like a microwave

finally! actual police officers !!

no it's the ARMY

if i was a spider i would be spiders georg next question

jose is so me coded

he's just a little guy !!!1

just go down to the machine room normally??? what is this littlest pet shop shit

the army mans voice sounds dubbed why

contagion? like the hit movie contagion?

IT'S IN THE VENTS LIKE FROM AMOUNGUS

old man gonna dieee

oh no they're both in the vents from amoungus

D:

that is a nest bro what the fuckk

why is he fangirling over the murder spider???

fire

old man cowboy

the extras look so out of it i feel bad for them

weirdos

'kwahdruhpuhled'

'kwahdruhpuhle'

the intern that did that sfx makeup is very talented

'pepwpewprepwepwpechewspceww'

her outfit is so impractical

me when i get you

the spider being a greedy capitalist is really making me think about how purposeful this stuff is

the acting performance is giving the villains from home alone

but not in a fun way

why are you shooting at it?? it's a spider????

turn on the fucking lights nitwits

slut

please don't eat it

why are you struggling so much it's a coin on some overrated thread

oh it spits acid now

and that is the worst sfx so far

'arikhnid?'

ily jose never leave me again

THAT'S THE NAME OF THE MOVIE

slut

jose is perfection

btw that twitter really exists look it up

shitty greenscreen plane my beloved

hacker montage

that is a big ass spider

'theree'

how is alex a miracle

jose is the miracle i see now

jose looks so rad in his sunnies

goofy ass camera quality

30???????

‘mahlted’

the music thinks this movie is so much scarier than it is

they look like npcs

did he forget his own name???

why did she answer the phone for some rando??????????

i love you jose

oh no people

they are playing beach volleyball in a park

gratuitous boob shot

gay walk strikes again

PERVERT

‘HAAAAGGHHHHH’

his shoe falled off :(

why is he aiming a gun at his computer screen

bro this is so far out of your jurisdiction

more anarchist overtones

so unsubtle

child no

just barely missed the child

is this movie anti police now too????

there are not thousands of people in the park there are maybe ten

no alex you cannot have your bribe back

that sure is a big ass spider

gratuitous boob shot

girl why are you still having a picnic there is a big ass spider murdering people

ass shot

worse sfx ever

omg hiiiiii

is this technically an alex ex machina??

yes jose get 'im

‘noooahhsh’

‘ your SPANGLISH is pressuring me’

alex stop being a fucking slut

chasing pussy and chasing spiders

‘MY TRUCK‼️’

pew

pew pew pew

jumpies

emotional WHIPLASH

why is she holding her earpiece they are talking in the real

noo jose lost his glasses :(

‘eksplohsiv’

so dramatic music

why are you touching him

they accidentally turned on the black and white filter

oops

bzzz

oh no she’s stuck how awfull

‘youah visinihtee’

me when i peel you

alex ex machina 2: electric boogaloo

this didn’t work last time and it won’t work this time

JOSE!!!!!!!!!!!!

jose has plot armour and i’m thrilled

‘ruhn ahmuhk’

bro intentionally or not you made it

alien biology????

girl what the plot of this movie just did a 180

so true jose so true

‘woharld’

jesus christ you'd think to check your plants before you BREED THEM WITH ALIENS

no he doesn’t he’s talking out of his ass

he’s so stupid i hate him

omg this is the start of the movie

jumpies

png ass reflection

‘terhmihnaytoh’

crinkle

wow they found her. good job?

why do you trust these random ass men

i understand blindly trusting jose but alex????

THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO BE HORNY

how is she still fine

THE EGGS ARE HATCHING FUCK

jose figured it out :D

you just have to shoot the spider in the ass simple as

why do they have a flamethrower.

hey now saying you’re done with science is actually fucking weird bro

procedurally generated lookin street

ITS THE BEGINNING

different music? really?? at least commit man

oh thank god jose is fine

if jose was in literally any other movie

if jose doesn’t survive i swear

jose slayed that backwards hat

jose is such a girl boss for this

oh my god alex why are you making jokes right now

she was literally being dragged to her death no there was a boob shot fuck me with a chainsaw

if they kiss i’m suing

missiles!!!

no he did not that is bullshit

of course it’s still alive, spiders don’t take fall damage /s

babe????? whyyyyyyy???????????

cmon jose i believe in you :D

he’s so babygirl

how did that work

OMG it’s called Big Ass Spider! because they shot it in the ass!!!

shut up jose did all the work

this makes me angry

i am going to vomit

yes jose they should get a room

teaser for Big Ass Cockroach!

okay it’s over now, if you’re here thank you so much

[possuminnit]

erm saw this post and it made me Remember... ft my silly black widow ctubbo design..

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

Sometimes being mentally ill feels like having to deal with 40 mid-life crisis within the span of a single day. Every little thing ticks you off like, GET OVER IT TWINKLE TITS, YOU'RE 16

[rabendraws]

one bad gloop and she do what i spidey

[corpusdiem-seizethedead]

Fat Nuggets: *squealing inconsolably*

Angel: *appearing on scene, prepared to commit a murder* What happened??? Who hurt him??? I swear to satan if any of ya-

Husk: *casually turning the page of his reading material* I said he couldn't have two dinners.

Fat Nuggets: *squealing louder*

[pandadrake]

Also attempted a werewolf AU Hobie, because I didn't think he would translate well to how I design werewolves. *130dB dog noises*