#Better Today Herbal Drops

[navybrat817]

How does Bucky handle you being sick? 🥺

I may have gone overboard, nonnie. 😂

Sick Day

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Summary: Bucky takes care of you when you get a cold. He also takes care of the guy who may have given you a cold.

Word Count: Over 2.4k

Warnings: Fluff, humor, established relationship, reader has a cold, implied smut, interrogation, Bucky Barnes being a ridiculously wonderful boyfriend in love (he's a warning, okay?).

A/N: I don't know where this came from. Maybe a bit of inspiration from @inklore here. 😂❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

When you had a hard time getting out of bed this morning due to a cold you caught at work, you tried to brush it off. Bucky immediately called in to take a personal day and said he had to take care of you, which forced you to take a sick day as well. It was for the best. You had a tendency to push yourself past your limit some days and he kept you in check.

You snatched a tissue out of the box beside you just in time to sneeze into it. With a pained groan, you scrunched up your face and dropped the tissue into the small pile in your lap. It took you a moment to sip your water, followed by your herbal tea. Though your throat was sore, you had to stay hydrated. You also had to get some rest.

Bucky wouldn’t let you hear the end of it if you didn’t.

“I hate this,” you mumbled to yourself before your boyfriend rushed into the living room to check on you, his piercing eyes searching the room as if to assess a threat.

“I heard you talking, baby. You need to rest your voice,” he said, adjusting the humidifier he set on the coffee table before his concerned gaze snapped back to you. “Wait. Do you need something? Do you not have enough blankets? I can get you more tea. Or I can put something on TV. Shit, where’s the writing pad?”

You tried not to smile as the massive shirtless supersoldier bustled around the room. He hadn’t seen you under the weather since the two of you started dating and you should’ve known he’d make a big deal out of it. Whether it had to do with growing up with Steve who dealt with all sorts of ailments or simply because it was his girlfriend feeling less than stellar, you weren’t sure. Either way, it was endearing to see the former Winter Soldier worked up over you.

He had nothing to worry about though.

“I’m fine,” you croaked before you went into a coughing fit.

Bucky’s eyes widened as he crouched beside you and brought the water back to your lips once you had yourself under control. His brows furrowed when he checked your forehead with his right hand, which made you fall in love with him a little more. You tried to tell him earlier to keep his distance so he didn’t get sick before he gently reminded you that he wasn’t exactly prone to catching colds thanks to the serum.

A silver lining from the pain he had to go through.

“You’re not fine. You’re sick. Well, you’re still 'fine',” he smiled a little, making your heart swell. “I used that in the right context, didn’t I?”

You almost went into another coughing fit as you giggled, the sound huskier and deeper than normal. “Only you would think I’m fine when I’m like this,” you said, reaching up to run your fingers through his silky chestnut hair. He hadn’t brushed it today. Too busy taking care of you. “And I’m not ‘sick’ sick. it’s just a cold.”

“It isn’t just a cold. Not to me,” he said, his jaw clenching as his vibranium fingers curled.

“I’ll be better before you know it,” you assured him, raising an eyebrow as his cheek twitched. “What’s the matter?”

Why is he getting himself worked up?

“I just don’t like you feeling any kind of pain,” he said, leaning up so he could press his lips to your forehead. He huffed as they lingered there. “I wish I could take it away and I can’t.”

It was a sweet sentiment, especially after everything he went through.

“I know you would if you could and it’s okay that you can’t,” you said. You understood where he was coming from though because you didn’t like the idea of him in pain either. He had a heart almost as large as his body and you were lucky to get a single ounce of his love. “Don’t worry, okay?”

“You’re my girl and it's impossible not to worry,” he said, a touch of possession and tenderness seeping into his tone. Belonging to him was as natural as breathing. “But I'll try to relax a bit.”

“As long as you try,” you said as he pressed another kiss to your forehead.

Your head tingled from his lips before you frowned. This close, you could usually get a whiff of his woodsy cologne. Your eyes welled up when you inhaled again and couldn’t smell him, doing your best to blink the tears away so he wouldn't catch them. It was silly that you suddenly missed the comfort of that smell because your nose was acting up.

He didn’t need your tears on top of that.

But, of course, he caught your sad sniffle, which sounded slightly different from your cold sniffle. His body stiffened, like a cobra ready to strike. “Tell me what’s wrong, even if I can’t physically fix it.”

God, I love this man.

“I know this is going to sound ridiculous, but I really miss the smell of your cologne,” you told him, your gaze probably nothing short of pathetic as you tilted your head to see his handsome face.

Your breath caught when he looked back at you and brushed a tear away with his thumb. There was nothing but love and adoration in those brilliant eyes of his. It made you feel lighter.

“That’s far from ridiculous because I smell amazing,” he teased, bumping his nose against yours to bring a smile to your face. “How about I spray the blankets after you take a nap and I make you some soup? That way my scent will be there even if you can't smell it.”

Tears clogged your throat as you gave him a nod, committing the moment to memory. You were used to going it alone before he came into your life. He couldn’t take the pain away, but he could make you feel better in ways that mattered to you. That likely comforted him just as much as it soothed you.

“That would be great,” you said, yawning a bit. “Can we watch a movie after my nap?”

“We'll watch whatever you want.”

You pulled him close so he could join you on the couch, knowing that his muscular and warm frame against yours would feel just as comforting and safe as the blanket that covered you. And he relaxed and quickly accepted your wordless invitation to wrap his arms around you, keeping you in his loving embrace. It was home and always would be.

“Thank you for taking care of me,” you said, closing your eyes as you nuzzled your head against his bare chest. “I love you.”

“I’ll always take care of you,” he promised, his vibranium hand moving in slow circles along your back as you began to drift off. “I love you, too.”

You let out a happy moan before you said one more thing. “And hunt down the person who gave me this cold, okay?”

With your eyes shut, you didn’t see the determination written all over his face. “You got it, baby.”

You were right as rain and back to work a couple of days later, thanks to Bucky caring for you and some much needed rest. Not even an hour into your shift though, Steve requested for you to meet him in the second lower level. You didn't hide your surprise as that was usually reserved for interrogations.

Which was exactly why he called you down there.

“What's going on?” You asked as you walked into the viewing room. Steve, Sam, Natasha, and Tony all looked your way, but didn't give you any sort of response. “Seriously, what's up?”

“You don't know?” Natasha responded, nodding toward the glass.

You followed her gaze with a gasp as you saw Bucky tower over some blonde male agent in the cell. Your boyfriend was almost unrecognizable with his face devoid of any emotion, dominant and on the edge of terrifying. It was a far cry from the loving side you were privy to, yet you loved this side of him just the same.

“Buck dragged John down here a few minutes ago,” Steve explained in a quiet voice as he punched the bridge of his nose. “Said something about him hurting you.”

You tilted your head as you looked at John, recognizing him after a second due to his punchable face. “Him? No. He didn't hurt me. He just bumped into me the other day in the break room,” you explained. Which wasn't that big of a deal to you, but probably offensive to Bucky. “But he didn't apologize.”

He also had a cold.

Oh, no.

“So, you had nothing to do with this?” Sam asked, chuckling as you lifted your chin.

“No, I didn't,” you replied as you bit your lip. “At least, I don't think I had anything to do with this.”

Your heart raced faster when Bucky pushed the sleeves of his shirt up and gripped John by the collar, the veins in his right arm popping out. You wished you could lick them. Maybe later.

“I know it was you, you piece of shit,” he said, roughly shoving the agent back into his chair. “You got my girl sick.”

Oh, Bucky.

You stared straight ahead as you felt the group collectively look your way, refusing to react under their stares. “Before any of you say another word, this is definitely not my fault,” you stated.

“Of course it isn't,” Natasha smirked. She knew Bucky loved to play the hero on your behalf even though you could take care of yourself. “Just enjoy the show.”

Your mouth fell open as your boyfriend slammed his left fist on the table, leaving a sizable dent as John nearly fell backwards in his chair. This guy was an agent? He was either new to interrogations or simply scared shitless of the former assassin.

Maybe both.

But you ignored him as you shifted your attention back to your beefy, perfect boyfriend.

When you had mumbled for him to find the person who gave you the cold, you didn’t think he’d actually do it. You weren’t sure how he narrowed down to John, but the former assassin was resourceful and you should've known he'd take you seriously. And, fuck, if it wasn’t slightly mortifying on your behalf and hot as hell watching him in action.

“That cold you gave her made her cry. You made my girl cry. Do you know what I do to guys like you who make my girl cry?” Bucky said through his teeth, bringing his fist down on the table again as John flinched and you smiled. With all the strength he possessed, you never had to worry that he'd hurt you. But you couldn't say the same for the frightened agent. “You're about to find out.”

You didn't think you could love Bucky more after he helped you get over your cold, but he proved you wrong.

And you could now add Bucky threatening people to your list of things that made you dreamily sigh and tingle between your thighs.

“Look, I'm sorry. I’m sorry! All I did was bump into her. It was an accident!” John shouted, putting his hands up in surrender and trembling when Bucky stood to his full height and cracked his neck. Your boyfriend waited a beat before he grabbed one of his hands and began to twist, making the agent pale as you bit back a whimper. “Fuck, stop! I won’t even breathe around her again. I’ll hold my breath! Just let me go!”

“You're enjoying this, aren't you?” Tony asked you, taking out his phone to type a quick message as you hummed. Maybe you were enjoying it. How many guys went out of their way to scare someone who possibly gave you a cold? “Does the Manchurian Candidate know how much I’ll have to pay to keep this guy from suing him?”

“We can tell him it was a prank?” Steve suggested, bringing another laugh out of Sam as Natasha shook her head.

Bucky's eyes narrowed as he flung the hand away, his hair falling in his eyes as you held your breath. He looked like a wild animal, untamed and stunning. “I should choke you. Make you see how long you can really hold your breath before you pass out,” he snarled as John rubbed his sore skin.

Steve snuck a glance at you, his cheeks a little pink when you put a hand to your throat. “I don't want to overstep because you're my best friend's girl, but you do know you just moaned, right?” He whispered low enough for only you to hear.

Oops.

“Oh, my god,” you groaned, putting your warm face in your hands to hide your embarrassment for a moment. “Is anyone going to stop him?!”

“Why haven’t you stopped him?” Natasha countered knowingly.

Because I’m too busy thinking of how I’m going to suck his dick so good later that I'll make him see God.

You took a breath as the ache between your legs got stronger and pressed the button beside the glass. “Bucky?”

He swung his head toward the glass and met your gaze even though he couldn’t see you. No matter what, he’d always be able to spot you. “Hey, baby. I found the prick who gave you a cold. Want me to beat the shit out of him?” he bragged as John paled.

“I love you,” you giggled from how sweet and ridiculous he was. “And no. I appreciate you defending me, but I think you can let him go.”

Tony playfully rolled his eyes when Bucky grinned. “Your crazy matches his crazy.”

True.

“Okay. I love you, too,” Bucky said in a light tone, his smile falling the second he looked back at John and smacked the table against the wall with a clang. The agent looked like he was on the verge of passing out. “Next time you see my girl, apologize and walk away. And the next time you have a cold, stay the fuck home or you'll answer to me.”

Yeah. I’m going to suck the soul from his body to thank him for everything the moment we get home.

And maybe the two of you could take another sick day to spend the day in bed.

Totally normal boyfriend, right? Love and thanks for reading! ����

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[adelar-plays]

halsin said that he hibernates until the thaw, and i can't stop imagining how nice it can be now that he has you and the children

he can avoid hibernating if necessary, but he becomes restless and a bit irritable when depraved of his winter nap. even though he still treats everyone with kindness, if you know him well enough, you notice that many things make him less happy and he gets irritated mainly with himself, so it's kinder to not demand him to stay awake and just let him sleep

you anticipated his awakening ever since you first sensed the change in weather. this unmistakable earthy smell of spring – thawing snow, waking up soil and roots and worms in it, all fills you with impatience and joy

so maybe today

you’ve been waking up early for the last few days to be the first one to know. to be there waiting for him, being happy to see him

maybe today

he wakes up in a pile of... well, everything that definitely wasn't here when he went to sleep

while he was sleeping, children brought him all their plushie treasures that helped them ward off nightmares when they were alone and didn’t have you and each other. they’ve put their owlbear toys around halsin so he wouldn't be lonely and scared in his dreams, someone put a blanket over him, someone even half managed to put a pillow under his head – not a small feat, mind you. more mischievous kids have been piling their toys atop him just for the fun of it, to see if it would wake him up, and giggling when it didn't

it's so much better than waking up alone and in the same empty room. the mess kids created around him is an evidence that he's now loved and cared for

and he has his suspicions about who might’ve brought him this blanket

he stretches his muscles, feeling his heart rate quickening*, and slightly unsteadily from a long sleep comes out

the smell of a bear who just spent months curled up in a cave is... well, not exactly exquisite, he knows it and lets out a slightly embarrassed chuckle when you put him in tight embrace, noticing that he's a little easier to hug now than when you did it kissing him goodnight**

the kids are sleeping yet. they demanded to know immediately when daddy halsin is back, and even tried to take turns staying awake and keeping watch – none of them lasted past 2 am, and you had to bring them to their beds. you don’t wake them up just yet, because you want to have some time for you two

you make him his first in this year huge mug of herbal tea with honey that you secretly stashed away and saved for him, and he fills his pipe, while you knead his stiff shoulders and untangle his hair

and, honestly, this moment is so worth waiting the whole winter for

*bears’ heart rate drops to 8-10 beats a minute while they hibernate **bears lose up to 33% of their weight while hibernating

[rottenpumpkin13]

😔usual lazard anon here, not feeling so emotionally well today,

can we have what if agzs threw a birthday party for lazard?

I hope you feel better soon! 💚🫂

*AGSZ surprise Lazard with a perfectly normal, mundane birthday party*

Everyone: Surprise!

Lazard: What's the catch?

Genesis: What catch?

Lazard: Usually, there's a catch, like fireworks-related injuries, accidental criminal activity, or something that would give me a heart attack.

Angeal: I can't believe you think of us that way.

Sephiroth: Yes, we went out of our way to throw you a fun party, and now you don't trust us?

Zack, holding a cake: I even baked you a cake!

Sephiroth: He even baked you a cake.

Zack: Yeah! I got the recipe from Reno. It contains two cups of flour, one cup of sugar, three eggs, a teaspoon of vanilla extract, a pinch of salt, a tablespoon of crushed-up energy drink pills for maximum partying energy—

Lazard:

Genesis: We got you streamers, balloons, all these festive decorations.

Zack: —half a cup of unsweetened cocoa powder, one cup of butter, a dash of baking powder, a mysterious herbal infusion for relaxation that you shouldn't worry about—

Lazard:

Angeal: We even have party games lined up! Like pin the tail on the chocobo.

Sephiroth: And a trivia contest about you which I've organized.

Zack: —two cups of chocolate chips, one cup of crushed walnuts, a drop of baking soda, some mako—

Lazard: !

Genesis: And I've downloaded a playlist of your favorite songs.

Zack: —and for decoration, I used organic edible flowers, dark chocolate ganache, and a chemical I bought on the internet that's supposed to mimic the feeling of ecstasy. Would you like some?

Lazard: NO?

Sephiroth: If you don't eat it I will.

Lazard: NO YOU WON'T—

[writingseaslugs]

Savanaclaw: When They're Sick

This one was fun to write, even if I was brain dead while writing the last half of Ruggie and all of Jack’s. I should be going to bed since I’m doing this after work, but the want to write is strong today.

Disclaimer: All characters in this series are aged up. For more information about my version of this world and the type of reader you can expect, please click the “Au Information” below!

Request Information | Masterlist | Au Information

Savanaclaw: When They’re Sick

Something that Beastmen didn’t talk about was their cold season. Illnesses affected the different races…well differently. For beastmen it meant they were significantly weaker; you’d think they were on death’s door. Even getting out of bed to take care of their needs was taxing. It was like the man flu but made ten times worse. Any prideful beastman refuses to acknowledge this shortcoming of their race, but it was undeniable. The moment one beastman got sick, the others stayed far away so they didn’t suffer the same fate.

Leona Kingscholar

Leona is both the easiest and hardest person to take care of while sick. The good news is he goes by the theory that he can just sleep it all off and will take that route. Still, he needs medicine and food, and when he’s too weak to leave the bed, he’s calling on Ruggie to help him out. Bad news is Ruggie is also sick and can barely get out of bed, so he was planning on just suffering for a few days until he could venture out and get what he needed.

That was when Leona had a wonderful idea and contacted you. In his mind, you still owed him big time for that time he let you stay in his room, and you were about to repay a part of that debt today. So don’t be surprised when you’re called to his room and he’s treating you like one of the servants. Put the sick lion in his place and inform him that you’re not a servant and, although you’ll take care of him, if he continues to treat you like one you’re dropping food and medicine by his bed and leaving. He gets the memo and is feeling far too crummy to even argue with you.

Now Leona hates medicine with a burning passion. The artificial sweetness in cough syrups and the herbal qualities of everything else was gag inducing. You’re going to have to figure out a game plan to force it into his mouth so he’ll get better, because he downright refuses to let it get close to him. Sneaking it into his food is also a no-go since he can smell it. So have fun wrestling a lion to get him to take his meds. Thankfully he’s weaker than normal so it’s a lot easier than you’d think.

Leona is picky when it comes to what he’s eating while sick. He’s going to be wanting something with a lot of meat in it in order to get some of his energy back. A good meat stew is your best bet, and you’ll have to cut the vegetables to be so fine he can’t pick them out. He needs them, he knows this, but they’re still gross and he hates that you’d serve him a dish with it in there.

The moment Leona is better he’s shooing you away. He no longer needs you and therefore you can get out of his dorm. Wait…you want him to thank you? Please, you were simply repaying a debt that you owed him. He’ll thank you if that’s what it takes for you to get out of his fur. He might even lean his head on yours while he says it before ushering you towards the door so he can be left alone and sulk about how weak he was in front of someone. His ego is gonna be needing some recovery after the Ramshackle prefect won a wrestling match and forced him to take medicine.

Ruggie Bucchi

Ruggie is another person who normally will just suffer in silence when he’s sick. Everyone in the dorm realizes that he’s ill and stays far away so they don’t catch it, so it’s easier than you’d think. He just isolates himself as he gets better, occasionally managing to drag himself out of bed in order to grab a drink or use the restroom. Making food was out of the question though, so he just accepts the fact that his stomach is going to be growling until he’s better.

Literally the moment you hear that Ruggie is sick, you should be going to help. The poor boy is probably in the fetal position on his bed, hating life right now. His fever will be so high he doesn’t even know what’s going on around him since he’s absolute dog shit at taking care of himself. He’s normally the one who takes care of others so when he’s sick he just hopes for the best. Thankfully there won’t be much arguing when you begin helping him. Again, his fever is so high he might think you’re a hallucination.

Ruggie will take medication no problem for the most part, mainly because he’s not even going to know what you���re handing him until it’s already in his mouth. He is going to be complaining about the foul taste and asking for some water afterwards, but at least he didn’t spit it right out. He might comment that you betrayed his trust by giving him something gross, but he’ll forget about it in ten minutes if the fever has anything to say about it.

He is going to devour anything you bring him. Honestly he probably hasn’t eaten anything all day, or since he got sick, so he’s starving. He probably won’t be tasting anything either, just happy to have something in his stomach. He might get a bit teary eyed as he thanks you for the food. It doesn’t matter if you made it or bought something at Sam’s to microwave, food is food and he’s been wanting some for a while now.

Ruggie will be suspicious for a while after he’s better, wondering what the ulterior motive for helping him out was. He’s not used to people just taking care of him because they care. Clearly you’re after something…right? He’s broke, so you can’t have his money. Reassuring him that he doesn’t owe you anything won’t help the situation; even if he adores you he simply doesn’t believe you’d put yourself through that for no reason. Just tell him he can help you next time you’re sick and you can call it even.

Jack Howl

Jack honestly doesn’t get sick all too often; he takes care of himself and works out, so his immune system is something to be admired. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t get sick, and when it does it hits him harder than most. He normally self-isolates so he can get better. He’ll drag himself out to get food and take care of himself since he knows it’s important, but he’s going to be pushing his limits by doing these simple tasks.

Originally he’s going to try and push you away the moment you offer, worried that he might end up getting you sick. Once you reassure him that you’ll be fine, he gives in. He’s too weak to put up much of an argument anyway, so might as well just roll with the punches. He’s going to try and make things as easy as possible for you and not ask for much; he’ll mainly be asleep for most of it.

Thankfully Jack has no issues with taking medication. In fact, he doesn’t even see them as being disgusting. He’s taken green shots pre-workout before and those are nasty. He’ll down any medication you give him and you’ll have his full trust to not poison him. The main thing is the smell, if it’s too artificial smelling he’s going to be hating the scent of it.

He’s not picky when sick, in fact he can barely taste anything you bring him. As long as it’s healthy he’ll be satisfied. He’ll be asking if you want to sit down and eat with him, feeling awkward if you just stare at him. Meals shared together taste better anyway, so might as well do it. Besides, if you see his tail wagging behind him when you accept the suggestion, you’ll know he’s well on his way to getting better.

He’ll be following you around like a lost puppy once he’s all better. He’s thankful for what you did and feels bad for the trouble he’s caused, so he’s going to make sure nothing troubles you for a while. Expect him to open doors for you and carry your books. Just let him do it, it’s his own way of thanking you for spending those few days while he felt dead.

[s-awturn]

Underworld Sun || LH44

summary: It only took an unpretentious visit to a local florist for all of Lewis's convictions to come crashing down, and finally the lord of the Underworld found what was missing in his lonely existence.

cw: dark content, slightly stalkerish behavior, nostalgia, pure smut, Lewis!dom x reader!sub, revelation, mention of magic, violence, outbursts of rage, (fake) naivety, devotion, deep love, soulmates, family interference, mention of kidnapping.

a/n: After weeks (my God, how embarrassing) I'm updating this little story that came to celebrate my first hundred followers and today I have three hundred and a little bit, I can't help but be happy and surprised by this, like, you guys really like what I write (give me a minute, I'm emotional here) Anyway, I hope you like it and I apologize, but in this story I really can't bring long chapters.

chapter two

The mastiffs were waiting for him as soon as he stepped into the Black Forest, the black dogs guiding him through the trees, not caring if Lewis was following them. He could feel the dense magic of the place mixing with the magic of Hecate, the goddess of witches was present in every corner of that forest, in the trunks of the majestic pine trees, in the dry leaves on the ground, even in the drops of dew on the plants. Hecate was in everything, watching Hades entering her enclosure, waiting for him to come to her.

And it didn't take long for him to arrive.

A Germanic Gothic cottage, with a window box of wisteria and hyacinths, and more black dogs lying in the doorway. The relaxed posture of the resting mastiffs did little to hiding how attentive they were, Lewis knew that all it took was one false move, one misinterpreted thought for those dogs to tear his body apart until only bones remained. Lewis smelled herbal tea and fruitcake, and Hecate's husky, powerful voice came through the air like a whisper, humming an old lullaby, singing about old gods, past wars and forgotten glories.

The cabin doors opened and Lewis paused for a few seconds, he didn't know if he was ready for whatever Hecate might tell him. He could have gone after Apollo or Athena, but he knew that his nephews would not hesitate to report their concerns to Zeus and everything would become a big family affair, like everything in that family. Hecate was trustworthy, discreet and antisocial, like him, so there was no one better to give Hades any information without ending up in one of the Olympian interrogations.

“As tempting as it may be, I don’t want a salt statue of the god of the underworld on my doorstep, so just come in,” he hears her say, and as if a hand were pushing him, Lewis enters, hearing the doors slam shut with a thud.

The inside of the cabin was exactly as he expected, cozy, mystical, and dark. Candles were scattered everywhere, the smell of hemp mingling with the aroma of the Black Forest. It was easy to recognize who that hut belonged to.

“I hope you’re hungry, I used my best herbs to make a tea, so you better eat.” He found her in the kitchen, arranging the food on the table.

Hecate was a tall, slender woman with dark hair, pale skin, and eyes as dark as night. Small veins of magic flickered around her, making Hecate's hair levitate, the goddess making it clear why she was one of the most powerful in the entire pantheon, powerful enough to make Zeus afraid to face her.

No one would want to be blacklisted by the heiress of Nyx and Erebus.

“I heard some interesting rumors, could you confirm which ones are true?” She pointed to the chair, waiting for him to settle in. Hades opened the button on his jacket and picked up the cup of tea.

“That depends, what rumors have you been hearing?”

“About Persephone, the walls of Tartarus, and something about the games being canceled…”

“The walls are actually falling down, this makes it easier for Cronus and his minions to try to get out..” he clarified, “And as for Persephone... Don't ask me how, but Zeus said she's alive, but remains hidden in some corner of the planet, without manifesting its powers or any trace of its divinity.”

Hecate looked at the god of the dead over the rim of the cup, the goddess's nocturnal eyes seeming to capture the details that Hades left out “And what do you want, Lewis? I like your visits, but I doubt this was a courtesy”

“I was with the Moirai, with the walls of Tartarus crumbling, my domains are in danger, I need to know what to do to stop it”

“and they said what?”

"that I should seek what is lost, but I do not understand" Hades mutters, he hated not knowing things, hated looking like a fool with no answers.

“Her eyes shone, as bright as when the Milky Way appeared in the sky.

“Tell me Hades, do you feel it?”

“What?”

“You feel that hole deep in your soul, deep, immense, growing bigger every day, devouring more and more pieces of you. Something in you was lost so many years ago that you can't even remember.” Hecate said, her voice taking on a deep, dark tone. “"If you don't find what you lost, if you don't fill that hole, Tartarus will continue to crumble, you will continue to be threatened”

“But what did I lose, Hecate?”

“It's not something, it's someone, Hades”

Olympus

“She is your daughter too, Zeus!” Demeter shouted, she didn’t care about Hera’s fierce glares, the queen of the gods detested any mention of Zeus’s bastards. “Bring her home, Zeus!”

All the Olympian gods and creatures felt the tremors shaking Mount Olympus. The trees seemed to grow and it seemed that winter had come early.

“Hermes and Apollo are after her, Demeter, what do you want me to do? Go down there and open every hole in the earth to look for her?” Zeus said, he seemed too calm and peaceful for Demeter, the goddess of agriculture made the entire Earth shake, she might not be the mistress of earthquakes, but no one would want to anger her, well, except Zeus.

“Yes! Because you never thought twice before turning the Earth upside down looking for your lovers!" She said and finally saw Zeus abandon his composure. The heavenly eyes of the king of the gods turned stormy and lightning crackled around him, making the air static. Demeter was approaching a dangerous limit, but she was never known for temperance.

“Hold your sharp tongue, Demeter, I have already made it clear that Hermes and Apollo will bring Persephone back." He stood up, making everyone in the dome fall silent. "Now speak to me like this again and I will ensure that you spend the rest of eternity sealed in an amphora"

Demeter clenched her jaw, trying to contain her anger, she knew it was not good to contradict Zeus when he spoke in that tone, never. Everyone still remembered finding Hera imprisoned on a golden throne, punished for her own arrogance in plotting against her husband. Zeus was benevolent, but even his charity had limits.

“I understand your fears, sister, Persephone has been lost for centuries, I too want her back and I demand that Apollo and Hermes do their best to bring her home”

Demeter nodded and gave a measured bow before leaving the dome, letting the soft scent of ripe wheat perfume the air.

“Athena, Artemis and Hestia, join Apollo and Hermes and help in the search for Persephone, I will not allow us to spend the next equinox celebration with our incomplete family.” He ordered before leaving the dome, making it clear that he would not admit failure, there was no possibility that Persephone would not be home by the next winter equinox.

The gods scattered, wondering what might happen if the goddess of spring was not home in time.

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ALL RIGHTS RESERVED TO S-AWTURN™ 🪐. I do not allow copying or republication. Any unauthorized publication will be reported.

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[the---hermit]

04|10|2023

I feel like my body is slowly rebelling against me. My sleeping is going even worse than in the past few day, and this morning when I woke up my throat felt even more sore than yesterday. I have been taking medications, hot herbal teas with lots of honey and the amazing balsamic drops my mom got me, and I hope everything together will make things better soon. I have lots to do the rest of the week and I would like to feel energized instead of feeling miserable. Of course since I am not sleeping well at all and my energies are quite low focusing on studying is a struggle. I still managed to finish my first read (of many) of Richard II, but today I heavily relied on the translation because my brain was not braining as it should have. Still I have a good base idea of how the play is structured so I should hopefully have an easier time during my lectures tomorrow and on Friday. I will now watch The Hollow Crown to see in action what I just read, and then I'll just put on some music and try to rest.

cozy hobbit autumn activities and productivity:

read first thing in the morning

daily practice of Irish on duolingo in the morning (I feel like I am way more productivie and focused when I do this in the mornings, so I am making an effort to squeeze it into my morning routine)

drank a huge amount of herbal teas, made with my own herbs for the most and with lots of honey to help my throat

worked on a whole lecture of my power practices and men theories class

finished my first read of Richard II

listened to today's episode of re:dracula

put off all the tasks I was too tired to do, and no I don't feel guilty about it

📖:The Book Of Lost Things by John Connolly, Richard II by William Shakespeare

[laundrybiscuits]

“Eddie,” Robin says, eyes wide in a way that means trouble. “Edward Munson, I sincerely hope your last will and testament is in order, because you are going to completely and totally die when I tell you who just got hired at Scoops Ahoy.”

Eddie groans. “Don’t tell me Tammy Thompson is giving up on her Nashville dreams.”

“No, I hate you, shut up forever, you’ll never guess.” Robin pauses, then in a dramatic whisper she’s definitely picked up from Eddie himself, says: “Steve Harrington.”

“Jesus. No shit?”

“Yeah, I have to train him. Oh my god it’s the worst. He’s so bad at, like, everything.”

She shoves at his shoulder until he moves out of the doorway of the trailer, and flings herself backwards onto his couch. “Like! Okay! I showed up to my shift thinking it would be a completely normal day in which I would be bored out of my skull distributing frozen dairy products to the flotsam and jetsam of Hawkins, and Ned’s like, hey Robin, you’re showing the new guy the ropes today. And then that freaking jackass has the freaking nerve to say—” Her voice drops a full register. “Uhh, nice to meet you, I’m Steve. Nice to meet you! God!”

Eddie cringes sympathetically, sucking air between his teeth. There’s a special kind of indignity to being so completely and utterly below the radar of Hawkins High royalty, even former bearers of the crown. It’s not as if Hawkins is a big town; Eddie’s pretty sure he could pick every single person in the graduating classes of ‘84 and ‘85 out of a crowd. He’ll probably be able to do it for ‘86 too, though he’s trying not to think about it too hard. So he’ll be a senior again (again) this fall, whatever. It’s fine. It’s whatever.

Once in a while, he wastes some time really, really wishing he’d gotten to know Robin earlier in the year. Maybe even last year. For undying friendship reasons, yeah, but also because with her in his corner, he might’ve actually passed enough of his classes to fucking graduate on his second fucking try.

But he’d only actually met her, like actually met her for real instead of passing her in the hall sometimes, when he’d let himself get suckered into rejoining band. It wasn’t like he could’ve brought his guitar in, but he let it slip to Miss Genovese that he could read music and keep time, and they needed someone to wallop the bass drum, and he figured a little experience fucking around with percussion might be the one thing he could salvage from the year. He’d just…been so goddamn tired of feeling stuck, spinning his wheels. Music was something he could actually handle; something he could actually get better at. Something he could master. He's man enough to admit he needed a win.

The actual songs were all stuffy Holst and Sousa numbers, but they’d had some fun technical bits he spent his evenings hammering out for a couple weeks. And then right around the point when he’d gotten good enough to get bored and think about quitting like last time, it had somehow wound up that shooting the shit with the gangly weirdo in the trumpet section was one of the best parts of his day. Unfortunately, by the time they’d gotten close enough for her to start bullying him about homework and shit, it had been way too late to save his chance at walking that ‘85 stage with assholes like Steve fucking Harrington.

Not that Harrington would’ve even noticed, apparently.

“Anyway, the one singular saving grace about the entire situation is that he looks even dumber in the sailor costume than I do, so at least that will make me feel better about my life until he gets fired for burning down the ice cream freezer or something like that. Eddie, I cannot stress this enough: he is so bad at this job.”

Eddie very tactfully does not bring up the litany of screw-ups that Robin’s admitted to over the last couple weeks since she started at Scoops; he just says, “Buckley, it sounds to me like you might be in need of some quality relaxation time this fine evening. I can offer you a nice cold beer, some herbal refreshment…or a fiendishly weird new song to learn with an intro riff that'll make you cry.”

Robin, inveterate nerd of his heart, sits up immediately and chirps, “New song, please!” just like he knew she would. She’s going to run off and elope with his acoustic one of these days, and he’s not even mad about it.

“Coming right up, m’lady,” says Eddie. “I promise this entire Harrington situation will be over before you know it, and neither of us will ever have to think about him again.”

(ETA: First chapter of this fic has been edited/expanded and posted on AO3)

[minmaxi]

this fic idea has been sitting in my google docs for a couple of months. I'm not great at finishing projects and I'm usually more for something resembling poetry than a story, but I'm posting this as much for me as for a friend who said he's interested to see what I have cooking 😊 (thank you for the encouragement!) and, since I haven't gone to sleep yet, I think we can still call this

FUCK IT FRIDAY

I haven't settled on a title yet, so let's just call this one "the q-word fic," shall we?

———

Buck’s been thinking. Dangerous, he can practically hear someone say; but it's been quite a week, he’s allowed. With Chris back from Texas last week and Bobby finally back in the captain’s chair today, he’s practically basking in the serenity of things going back to how they should be. There's only this 24-hour shift standing between him and 48 hours off, and outside of vague ideas of spending some time with his reunited Diaz boys, he's still not entirely sure what he'll be doing after the shift wraps up in about… 19 more hours, according to his watch? He could swear it's already been 8.

The rigs are all stocked, the supply closet is organized, and he's long given up on finding the clipboard that must've grown legs somewhere between the engine and the ladder truck. Buck's been curled up near the TV, keeping himself occupied with an old YA novel that he's been rereading before he gifts it to Chris. The rest of the team is caught up on their own assignments, too, so anyone else who's not trying to bank some sleep or work out has also gravitated to the loft to settle in.

Adjusting in place, he realizes if he doesn’t move soon that his leg will only get stiffer, and right now’s as good a time as any for some tea, anyway. Setting the book down, brushing his fingers against the dalmatian statue as he stretches up out of the armchair, his mind turns from the new herbal blend in the cabinet back to the present evening.

So far, it's been a qui—

Buck freezes in place.

It's been a while since the last time anyone used The Q-Word in the firehouse, and if for no other reason than some kind of reflex, he won't even let himself think it. That word has bitten him everywhere, every time—from this very station, to a bar in Peru, all the way back to a ranch in Montana—to say nothing of the stories Hen and Chimney have recounted. Even Bobby takes it seriously, even if he thinks it's mostly psychosomatic.

Thankfully, he muses, Ravi learned his lesson from the last mishap—newer probies have been warned since—and everyone else on the A-shift knows better than to invite chaos with such reckless abandon.

"Heeeey, is it my imagination or does tonight seem like it's been nice and–”

Almost everyone.

All eyes turn to Eddie, elbows perched on the counter, hovering over a cup of coffee.

"–relaxed so far?" he smirks, looking up knowingly.

———

p.s. how does no pressure tagging work. I might be overthinking it. please drop in my asks or dms about this. 💜

[skzftw]

Levi's Jeans and Boxershorts

🔞🔞🔞Warning: one-sided thirst, sexual embarrassment, bad Felix, bully on the bed, sex partners, reader x felix

Word count: 1039

Part 2

Oh, today is a hot day. You are alone in the house watching old recorded football videos. You have been registering for a part-time job lately but doubt that you will get any. The place that you sit in is so hot you could faint.

Then a ringtone wakes you up. Felix calls you.

"Oh no" you murmur. "Hello?"

"Hey, are you coming tonight? Or better, this afternoon?" Felix asks all of these questions with a chill voice.

He has been your plus one partner ever since last summer. It means it is almost a year anniversary. Nevertheless you have feelings for him but that he always rejected. Both know that you are the only one in an one-sided love.

"O-ok..." The call ends like this.

You sigh as you throw your bag and everything before closing the bag without knowing what thin clothes you throw in.

"It's going to be a long night."

Your bag is folded over one of your shoulder as you go to grab a subway to Myeongdong. Where Felix lives is minimalistic and manly. Everytime you are inside it smells like nothing. People in the subway look at you jugdgementally because you have not changed your thin grey home-stay clothes. You flush and try to hide the clothes.

Ten to twenty minutes later you come to his house as you need to knock or ring the bell first. You do both. Right after, the door clinch open as you see a blonde haired Felix smiling at you. You cannot hide the attraction towards him.

"Hi. So let's watch Netflix," he suggested straightforwardly and stroke your naked arms a little bit.

"How about fast and furious?" You ask loudly. Not because of confidence.

Felix already jumps on the couch and grabs his self-made popcorn to himself. "I dunno."

You go into the bedroom that smells like herbal relaxation of a grannie just to put down the bag. You stumble to the couch to sit beside Felix. He immediately pulls you over and search something on Netflix. The curtain is still open.

"Uhm, don't we want to close the curtain?" You ask and almost go away from his embrace.

"Nah."

You look at him to confirm that he is serious. Then you glide down to match his hug.

Felix is just quiet and eats popcorn. That without sharing any with you. "Fast and Furious sounds good, let's watch it."

"Ok," you whisper.

30 minute into the movie and you are about to faint. The sound of cars are making you nervous.

"I want you to drive cars like this, Felix," you flirt with him.

Felix immediately stops eating popcorn just to laugh at your remark. "What ifs..."

He does not reply to the sentence of yours and pushes popcorn into your mouth. His fingers were long they almost hit inside your mouth. You try hard to bite back into his skin.

"Ouch!" He groans.

The sound from the television that you both watch growls still. You get so thirsty over Felix so that your hand goes to his pants.

"Let me guess," Felix starts and left you shook ", a popcorn fell down."

"No, popcorn is with you," you answer as Felix watches your hand glides over his pants. "We have a bigger problem, though."

"Where?"

You clip his pants open without getting any remarks and now your hand glides over his boxer shorts. Felix laughs at you.

It smells like a man when you drop down to his penis as it grows bigger under your nose. You hate that he leave you in a second-hand embarrassment.

Tongue on his clothed genitals, you ask for allowance by pushing it. He leaves only a slight 'mmh' and even brushes your hair so hard it becomes strains.

With both of your hands you help him to throw away his Levi's jeans and boxershorts.

"It's so big," you said to him.

"Not so big as your brain."

You do a blow job on him and he groans alone on the coach. His both hands stuck on your shoulders and it clips very hardly. You can barely escape.

"That's enough," he insults your action.

Felix turns off the television and gets stuck into your blowjob. "Ouch!"

You stop your action and strip off your t-shirt. "I'm sorry."

Felix gets back to the couch and pulls you in between. He then kisses you until you open your mouth.

"That hurts" he remarks with trying to act angry.

"I said I'm sorry--"

He kisses you back and clicks your bras open. "There is no apology for this," he whispers during kissing.

You curse 'shit' as his penis is still revealed after you have opened his pants.

Felix grinds into you so you have no escape. Your heart pounds hard because you have a crush on him. Your eyes fall into his sculpted nose and all. He grinds his pants into you to ask for permission. You nod to it.

"Super" Felix agrees and lift you up as your scream to the bedroom. He throws you on the bed while the light was dimmed.

He strips you naked first then he throw away his shirt to show his abs. You flush because you are the only one naked on the bed. Felix grabs a condom to protect you both.

"Thank you," you moan.

Felix does not undress his Levi's as he fingers your pussy. Then he suddenly stops. "Oh sorry, I have not washed my hands."

"I-it's okay"

"I know, idiot."

He finishes to finger you and grab his genital to glide it in. He pounds hard into your pussy. It has been 5 minutes as he is pounding. You cannot witness it as you almost faint at his attraction.

"It's good?" Your plus one partner asks.

"Yes," You are about to cum but Felix rejects all communication canal.

"I love you," Felix moans into the sex.

"I love you too," you answer without any energy.

You both cum together quietly. Felix finally takes off his pants as it had been hurting you during the sex.

He falls beside you on the bed and kisses your cheek.

"I'm sorry" he said.

"Why are you sorry?"

"Happy 1 year anniversary, sex partner," he ends with a tease.

A/N: Let me know if you want more.

Part 2

[discountdemonwarehouse]

Kinktober 2024 - Prompt 14 - Tender Sex

Characters: Cardinal Copia and Cardinal Valentino (upcoming Missionary Man sequel)

Contains: M/M, handjobs in the shower

Val has a rough day with pain in his injured leg and Copia tries to make him feel better.

AO3 Link

Keep reading below the cut!

        Val limped into his quarters, leg aching. He’d tried to push through with his usual pain management, but the pain was too bad today and he’d left his office early. To complement his daily prescribed meds, he did have an ointment made by Primo’s group associated with the infirmary, and while it often helped, some days it barely made a dent in the pain. Even the feeling of fabric on skin seemed unbearable at times. He made short work of stripping off his fascia and cassock, dropping them as he went towards the bedroom, biretta tossed without care onto the couch. In the dim light of the bedroom he quickly removed his brace and stripped down, reaching for the jar of ointment and smearing some on. A hiss of air forced between his teeth as he rubbed the herbal ointment into his skin, grimacing at how little relief it provided. He carefully put the brace back on, damaged leg screaming for the support. A small collection of pillows was moved from the end of the bed and positioned just right before Val gingerly lowered himself onto the bed and moved into what he hoped would be a comfortable position. Sighing impatiently, he scrunched his eyes shut, hoping for oblivion.

        Some time later the apartment door opened then closed. Fabric rustled, then footsteps came across the floor to the bedroom. “Caro?” Copia called softly before his eyes adjusted to the dark, and he saw Val. “Oh, caro.” He hung the cassock and fascia on the back of the door, then moved to the side of the bed. “I know you’re awake – even on your worst days your face relaxes more than that if you’re asleep.” “I wish I was asleep,” Val grumbled. “Or dead. Leave the lights off.” “Certo.” More fabric noises filled the room as Copia removed his own fascia and cassock. The two didn’t officially live together yet, but spent most nights together in one apartment or the other – though usually in Val’s because of the mobility aids too often needed, and the fact he actually had a door. Oh so carefully, Copia sat on the edge of the bed beside his lover. “Do you want me to massage your leg?” “No.” “That bad today, eh?” Val grunted. Copia sighed. Val gestured with one hand, indicating Copia could join him. He might not want a lot of things, but he would take closeness from his partner.

        Copia gently settled beside him, mindful of his bad leg, and rested his head on Val’s chest. “Has it been bad all day or did it flare up? You didn’t trip or anything, did you?” “It’s been extra sore all day, but really flared up after lunch. I left early.” “I noticed.” Copia pressed a kiss to Val’s chest. “I know I always ask, but can I do anything to help?” “Kill me,” Val half-teased. “But no, just be here.” “Alright.” As the two lay there, Val could feel some relief starting to spread in his leg. His arm slipped around Copia, holding him close. Copia’s hands wandered in a gentle caress, loath to be still. “You know, I could maybe help with the pain relief,” Copia offered slyly. “What are you talking about?” “Well, I could, eh, help you with a little dopamine hit.” Copia smirked in the dim light. His fingers walked down Val’s torso, and Val realized what he meant, a small shiver running through him. “Copia…!” The fingers stopped moving, one sticking up as if frozen in step. “Is that a ‘no’?” Val paused for a moment. “No, no, it’s not a ‘no.’ Just be gentle.” “But of course, caro. Just tell me if I need to stop.”

        Copia kissed Val’s chest again as his hand made its descent to Val’s thighs, stroking gently, teasing lightly along his skin. Val sighed a little; Copia’s leather gloves were his weakness. Copia mostly avoided Val’s bad leg with his touching, focusing on his right leg instead. The leather-clad fingers trailed back up to Val’s abdomen, following the trail of hair. Val’s breathing had quickened, but not from pain. Copia continued his teasing, not yet touching Val’s cock, and turned his head slightly to work on leaving a hickey on his collarbone. Val shifted under Copia’s teasing, trying to find more contact without moving his leg too much. “Copia, please…” “Hm? Oh, right. I shouldn’t tease you too much or you’ll hurt your leg in your squirming.” Copia sat up suddenly, removing his hands from Val’s body. “What are you doing?” Val asked quietly. “I have an idea. Hang on. Relax for a little longer,” Copia murmured, kissing Val softly. Val kissed back, but relaxed as instructed as Copia left the room.

        He could hear the sound of things scraping in the shower from the next room, and knew Copia was getting his shower stool set up for him. He smiled to himself as he thought about how Copia cared for him, how tender he was if he knew Val was having a pain day. Val wasn’t always reciprocative to Copia’s advances due to his leg injury, and lower libido, and Copia always took it in stride – fussing over him, making sure he was taking his medications and resting, or taking charge in the bedroom. Typically reserved during love making, Val became more vocal during sex when he was having a higher pain day, which he found somewhat embarrassing, but Copia loved it and didn’t shame him for it. The sound of running water reached Val’s ears, and he sighed a little. Sometimes the heat helped, and thankfully with the resting he’d done so far and the ointment, his leg pain had calmed a little. Copia reappeared in the doorway a moment later. “Come on, caro, let’s get you into the shower,” Copia murmured, helping Val sit up on the edge of the bed.

        Gently, Copia led Val into the bathroom and helped settle him on the seat. A decent amount of steam filled the space, and the air was already warm thanks to the water already running. Val’s eyes closed as the water hit him, the heat helping his leg almost immediately. “How’s the positioning? Do I need to adjust the showerhead or temperature?” “No, it’s perfect. You know everything so well, amore.” “It’s my job as your partner,” Copia informed him sweetly, kissing his cheek. “Now sit there and enjoy.” “Sì, Cardinale,” Val muttered back, lovingly playful. Copia busied himself behind Val in the shower space, lathering up a washcloth with a bar of soap. Copia took the attached shower wand and carefully sprayed Val’s torso and back so he could soap him up. He started with Val’s back, scrubbing and massaging gently, feeling tension leaving Val. A soft sigh left Val and Copia smiled to himself; his idea was working.

        His hands slipped around to the front of Val’s body, and he again began the gentle routine, while also starting to kiss his neck. Val’s head turned and Copia brushed his lips across Val’s. The two continued kissing, each one getting a little more passionate, while Copia’s hands still caressed Val’s soapy torso. “I love you so much,” Val whispered. “And I you, caro,” Copia responded, nuzzling his neck. Val gasped softly as Copia’s hand slid around his cock, stroking it and cupping his balls. Val pressed his cheek against Copia’s, staying still to let him work his magic. It didn’t take long for Copia to have Val fully erect, his heavy breathing and small moans louder in the shower’s tiled space. Val’s hand had found Copia’s cock and was slowly working him into hardness as well. “This was supposed to be me making you feel better,” Copia whispered amusedly in Val’s ear. “Maybe returning the favour makes me feel good too,” Val murmured back. Copia hummed appreciatively in response, pressing more kisses to Val’s neck and shoulder.

        Both men were soon moaning softly from the other’s touch, both knowing exactly how the other loved to be handled. Copia’s hips thrust lightly into Val’s hold, fucking himself against his hand. Val was quivering from Copia’s stroking, his free hand holding the shower bar to keep from sliding off the shower seat. The combination of everything soon had Val on the brink of orgasm. “Copia…” he groaned. “Cum for me, amore,” Copia whispered, kissing him and squeezing just a little firmer on Val’s cock, hitting the perfect spots just so. A few more strokes and Val moaned into Copia’s mouth as he came, Copia still gently stroking him until he was done. Copia’s other hand closed over Val’s on his cock, urging his partner to stroke him faster and grip harder until he came with a cry against Val’s shoulder. They leaned into each other, breathing heavily in the afterglow of their orgasms. “Good thing we were in the shower, eh?” Copia joked, still panting a little. “Easy clean up is always a bonus,” Val replied wryly, reaching for the nearby shower wand. “How is your leg? Ready to go lay down again?” Copia asked after they were both rinsed off. Val nodded, and Copia turned off the water and helped Val onto the bathmat to dry. The two then moved back to the bed, and settled down together.

        Val woke sometime later, alone on the bed, haphazardly covered in a soft blanket. His leg was more manageable now, most of the pain gone. He looked over as he heard a metallic thud, seeing Copia sitting at the small table in Val’s quarters. “Is that a gun?” he asked, leaning up to see better. “Oh, you’re awake, caro!” Copia said, startled. “Uhh… Sì, è una pistola.” “And why exactly isn’t it at the gun range? You remember our rules.” “It’s, uh… It’s a, uh, new one… I need to inspect and clean it first,” Copia mumbled quietly. “Aha! I knew it! You broke our agreement! That means I get a new fossil!”

        “Amore, no, it’s a business purchase!” Copia argued back lamely. “Bullshit! Get me my laptop! Where’s my phone?! I already have shit loaded in my cart because I knew this day would come!” Val sat up, head turning to find his electronics. “Caro,” Copia whined, “We already have so many fossils. And you won’t cover the t-rex replica when we have sex…” “No, Copia. We had an agreement!” Val was opening his laptop, knowing exactly which fossil he was going to order. “Caro…” Copia whined. Val glared playfully at him. “Keep that up and I’ll put it on your credit card!”

[sector1atiny]

𝐀𝐁𝐁𝐄𝐘

< park seonghwa x any! reader >

warnings: very sad angst, suic!de

you didn’t think joining the special forces would have any consequences. after all, there’s never been a mission that was this important that they had to call you in. you lived your days in happiness with seonghwa, nothing could go wrong…

You and Seonghwa were laying in bed when you got the call. You were playing with his hair as he laid on your chest, something you’ve done since you dated, and something you’ve continued to do after you got married. It made you happy to provide comfort for him, and he knew that. It was past midnight, but that was okay. You and your husband were late sleepers, so you answered it without a problem. At least, it wasn’t a problem until you found out you were being sent on an assignment all the way across the world, in some desert. You look over at Seonghwa, who was already sitting up in concern.

“I have to go, my dear.” You tell him after the call was ended, and he nodded. “I know, star. I’ll be here waiting for you to get back.” He kissed your forehead, letting the kiss linger. Neither of you knew how long you’d be gone this time, it was your first assignment since you got married. In previous times, you’ve been gone for months on end.

He helped you pack your bag, and even ate a snack with you before the blacked out truck pulled into your driveway. With one last kiss, and one last ‘I love you’, you left out the door, and he stood on the porch, watching the car disappear into the nighttime darkness. When he went inside, the house felt strangely empty and cold.

That was a month ago. And the mission couldn’t have gone more wrong. You’ve had minimal contact with anyone, per agency rules. You had no idea what was going on back home, especially with the love of your life. You were held hostage, chained in a dark basement with no windows. You had no concept of time, your captors leaving in even shifts so you never knew whether it was day or not. No matter how much they tortured you, you never gave up. Your will was strong, keeping hope that someone, anyone would come save you.

Today, whatever day or time it might’ve been, felt different. You felt this strange feeling in your stomach, as if the world as you knew it was ending. And that’s when you saw two men come into your cell, one of them carrying an assault rifle. “It’s time for you to die, girl.” He spoke, his voice gruff. Your stomach dropped and your heart began racing, this wasn’t how it was supposed to go. You had so much you wanted to do.

And yet, you showed no fear. You lifted your head, and with the last amount of energy you had in your body, you mustered the strength to spit at his feet. 𝘖𝘩, 𝘚𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘩𝘸𝘢, 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦. 𝘐'𝘮 𝘴𝘰 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘺. 𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶. Those were your last thoughts as you heard the shot rang out, and then, nothing.

Meanwhile, back at home, Seonghwa continued to live. He had confidence in you, he had 𝘧𝘢𝘪𝘵𝘩 that you were coming home to him soon. So, he didn’t worry too much, and he kept the house organized like normal. And everyday for three months, he repeated the cycle. His days blended together, but the longer you were gone, the more worried he became. He contacted your agency, asking for a time that they expected you home. They gave him no answer, keeping the conversation brief.

The fourth month, he stopped sleeping. He couldn’t sleep comfortably without you by his side any longer. This was your longest mission that he remembered, and he wasn’t used to not having you home for this long. He tried many different sleep remedies, from melatonin and herbal tea to self induced hypnosis. None of the methods worked better than you. He had dark circles under his eyes, his hair had grown into a long mullet that rested against his neck. His coworkers became concerned, but they knew what you did for work and didn’t question him on it.

The fifth month, his appetite disappeared completely. He couldn’t eat without you, he couldn’t complete a meal without you. Every time he looked in the mirror, he got skinnier and skinnier. His skin paled, and after a while, he stopped checking. He shattered the mirrors in the home, hating how he looked. He wondered how you’d react if he found out he wasn’t taking care of himself. He felt ashamed of his appearance, how empty he became without you. He wanted you to come home soon, but he didn’t rush you. He knew how sensitive your work was, and he believed you’d come home soon.

Before the fifth month ended, black cars pulled into his driveway. He ran to the door, thinking you’d come home finally. After 𝘢𝘭𝘭 this time, you were finally home, you came home to him. But once he saw all the special agents get out, and he didn’t see you, he thought the worst. He saw the videos, you explained what happened when agents came to your home without you.

They sat him down in the living room, explained how greatly you performed. How you were such an asset to the agency, and how you were the best. How lucky the country was to have such a talented agent protecting them. But, the words fell on deaf ears. He felt like he was drowning, his chest was tight and there was a ringing in his ears.

“Agent Park Y/N is dead. I’m so sorry.” An agent spoke, and he felt sick. “Our agency is willing to cover the cost of anything you may need, and we have arranged the funds to plan their funeral, whenever you’re ready.” They continued, but he shook his head. “Get out. Get the hell out!” He screamed, standing up and throwing the side table down, shattering the glass.

The agents nodded and filed out of the home. Seonghwa went on a rampage, throwing everything in his reach. The vases you picked together were thrown against the wall, framed pictures of you both with friends and family were destroyed. Tears streamed down his face as he sobbed, blending in with the mess around him.

After a while, his tears slowed, and he managed to pull himself up to go to your bedroom. He opened the closet and pulled out a box. You had prepared him for this moment, although you both hoped and prayed it would never come. Inside the box were a few of your mementos, as well as a letter. You left a kiss on the outside with his favorite fragrance, it was a pinkish nude colored bottle and it smelled rice milk, peaches, and clean soap. The same one you wore to your first date, and on your wedding day, and he loved it. He bought bottles every time you ran out.

He opened the letter, and out fell pictures you captured. Some without his knowledge. A picture of your first Valentine’s Day together, a picture of him you captured while he read, which he didn’t know you took. So many pictures of each other on your wedding day, all in selfie form. And finally, a more recent picture from your five year anniversary, one you guys had taken by a random stranger in Bali. More tears fell from his sunken eyes, but he pulled himself together to read the contents of the letter.

𝘋𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘚𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘩𝘸𝘢,

𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴, 𝘪𝘵 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘶𝘯𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘶𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘦. 𝘐 𝘸𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦, 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶. 𝘖𝘩 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦, 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴. 𝘞𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘴𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘥, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐'𝘮 𝘢𝘧𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘨𝘰 𝘰𝘯 𝘪𝘯 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘣𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦. 𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦, 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨. 𝘛𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘴𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘰 𝘰𝘯. 𝘙𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘪𝘯 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰. 𝘙𝘦𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭, 𝘯𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘰 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘶𝘱. 𝘐 𝘸𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘧𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘐 𝘥𝘪𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘶𝘱 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘯𝘦𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶.

𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘐 𝘥𝘪𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴, 𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘯 𝘢 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘩. 𝘐 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥'𝘷𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘐'𝘥 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘮𝘦. 𝘐'𝘥 𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘣𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳. 𝘈𝘯𝘥, 𝘪𝘯 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘺, 𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦. 𝘌𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦, 𝘐'𝘮 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘣𝘦 𝘣𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦, 𝘨𝘶𝘪𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯. 𝘐 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘐 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘥𝘰 𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘩𝘺𝘴𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭. 𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦, 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴. 𝘐𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘸𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘧 𝘐 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘢 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘫𝘰𝘣 𝘢𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘦.

𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘮𝘢𝘻𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘶𝘴𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘦. 𝘕𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘰𝘶𝘣𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵, 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦. 𝘚𝘦𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘨𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘢 𝘱𝘶𝘳𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘦, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘐 𝘸𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘧𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘴 𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘢𝘧𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘺 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘢𝘣𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺'𝘳𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘵. 𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦, 𝘵𝘳𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘬𝘺. 𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘴𝘰 𝘴𝘰 𝘴𝘰 𝘴𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩. 𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘴.

𝘞𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘦, 𝘠/𝘕.

𝘗.𝘚, 𝘐 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘦𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘥𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦. 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘮𝘰𝘤𝘩𝘪. 𝘚𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺, 𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶!

He finished the letter, running his fingers delicately over the dried out tear drops you left. His began dripping onto the paper, and he hugged it against his chest tightly, letting out loud cries as he finally realized it was happening.

He staggered to the kitchen, clutching your letter tightly in his fist. He dug through the cabinets, looking for something. He had this planned for a while, ever since he found out you could be killed in your line of work. He couldn’t accept that you were gone.

He opened the jug of cyanide and began chugging. It was disgusting, and his body immediately tried to reject it. He choked on it, but kept his hand over his mouth. Minutes passed and the onset of symptoms began. The dizziness, the vomiting, full of his blood, the shortness of breath. Then, he finally fell against the floor. With what little consciousness he had, he held the letter to his nose and inhaled. The scent of you brought him a bit of comfort as he passed out. And eventually, death overcame him too.

It was dark, he was surrounded by darkness. He wasn’t used to it, he couldn’t see anything in front of him. Was this the afterlife? Was he really dead?

“What are you doing here?” He heard your voice, and he turned until he found your frame, illuminating a white light. You were wearing a similar outfit that you went on a date in. A sweater, some jeans, and white socks. He ran over and engulfed you in a hug. “Oh star, I couldn’t be without you.” He cried into your shoulder, and you were stunned. You slowly lifted your arms to hug him, you couldn’t believe he was there.

You clenched the fabric of his top tightly, pulling him in close. “But if you’re here, that means that…Oh, my love.” You realize the lengths he had gone through to be with you again, and it bought tears to your eyes. You were both still, embracing each other, never thinking you’d see each other again so soon.

“I missed you.” He whispered, and you nod. “I missed you most. Are you ready?” You asked him, and he took your hand, and you both disappeared into the light.

[ohforficsakelibrary]

You Brought Me Poison Flowers

Chapter 4: Echinacea - Echinacea was used by American Indians* as an offering to spirits to ensure and strengthen spells.

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Series Summary: Joel and Ellie settle into life in Jackson, one more easily than the other, until Joel is reminded of what normal feels like. The kind of normal that he perhaps never had. A series of one-shot glimpses into a relationship (no true plot here, people.) Soft!Joel. Two touch-starved babes. Slow-ish burn.

Chapter subtitles taken from Cunningham’s Encyclopedia of Magical Herbs by Scott Cunningham. Although herbal preparations are consistent with historic uses, nothing herein is to be construed as medical advice.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Herbalist!OFC (age-appropriate age gap)

Word Count: ~6.9K

Rating: Explicit 18+ overall, no smut in this part, but if you're a fan of the one sleeping bag trope you may enjoy this. Minors DNI.

A/N: Of snake bites and chilly nights and subconsciously cradling someone in your sleep.

I know next to nothing about horses and my apologies if anything is off on that front. Again, get thee to a doctor or a vet and don't rely on fanfiction you read one time. You live in a world with antivenom.

I think I've messed with the timeline of Tommy's arrival in Jackson a bit, so your squinting and ignoring that is much appreciated.

*Cunningham's original terminology, not mine

Joel decides to swing by the shop in the late afternoon when he's back from patrol.

He has to return the book he finished, he needs more coffee, and he found real yarrow today to trade for it. He’s sure this time.

You know. Lest anyone think he's here because he spilled all over himself thinking of her last night.

“Hey, Joel,” Lennie calls from where she’s bent down to better see the level of liquid she’s pouring into a brown dropper bottle. Mrs. Spencer stands at the bar and throws a wave at him over her shoulder that he politely returns as he takes a seat at the large table.

Lennie mixes two more liquids into the jar and turns it over.

“Four to five drops, four times a day. Throw it in a glass of water if the taste is too strong. If he’s not feeling any better in three to four days, swing back and I’ll see what I can do.”

Mrs. Spencer accepts and passes over three beeswax taper candles in return before her absence sees the two of them alone in the shop again. 

Joel crosses the floor with flowers and book in hand as Lennie caps and returns jars to the shelf behind her.

“I got it right this time,” he says, self-satisfied smirk on his face. 

“So you did,” she grins.

“But I will need some more of your coffee in return.” He sets his empty jar in front of her.

“Done.” 

She makes quick work of refilling the jar. Too quick.

Because now they’re done here and his brain is dancing through excuses to stay. 

“Hey, Joel?”

He looks up from where he’s been watching her fingers bind yarrow with twine. 

“Yeah, Lennie?”

“Would you consider, maybe, ha…”

Ellie bursts through the front door, breathless.

“Lennie, Tommy’s horse got bit, they need you.” She sucks in gasps of air. An emissary sent to deliver bad news.

They both tense.

“Where, Ellie?” Lennie finds her wits before Joel.

“Out by…”

“No, where on her did she get bit?”

“I dunno exactly…”

“Face or legs.”

“Face, from the sound of it.”

“Ah shit.” Lennie drops behind the bar, filling the air with the clank of clattering metal and scraping wood. “How far behind you are they?”

“Maybe five minutes.”

“Ellie, is Tommy ok?” Joel pipes up. He’s not sure what exactly did the biting, but he has an idea. Rattlers aren’t uncommon around these parts. 

“Yeah, he’s fine,” she has her hands on her knees now.

Lennie reappears and swings around the bar, two clear tubes in her hand.

“Ellie, remember that plant I showed you? Broad leaves, grows in a rosette?”

“Plantain, yeah.”

“I need you to gather as much of it as you can,” she tosses a canvas bag to Ellie, “the biggest leaves you can find, rip the whole thing out if you have to. Do that now, go.”

Immediately, Ellie is out the door.

“Joel, grab me a pint jar and lid off that back shelf,” she cocks her head towards the sink as she pulls a massive half-gallon mason jar from a shelf above her head.

“I got it,” Joel picks up on her train of thought and moves behind the bar to decant the brown liquid into the smaller jar while she grabs scraps of cloth and a spoon and stuffs them into the pockets of her jeans.

There’s a commotion outside and she grabs the tubes. Joel grabs the jar and follows her out the door. 

“Where’d she get bit, Tommy,” Lennie asks, taking the horse’s reins from him. It’s redundant, she can see the swelling already beginning on Gloria’s muzzle. 

“Her nose, we were out at the dam on foot, had the horses tied up, and we think it took her by surprise in the grass.”

“You bring it?”

“In my bag, she stomped it real good.”

“Alright, you know what I’m gonna ask for when this is over.” 

“Get my girl through and it’s all yours.” 

“You okay?” Joel nods at Tommy.

“Yeah, man.”

Tommy is concerned, but calm. Something about it tugs at Joel but he doesn’t have time to register why.

The rest of the patrol team has closed in now and townspeople are beginning to filter into the street, whispers of what happened pinging through the crowd. Maria emerges from the laundromat, baby strapped to her chest, and comes to stand near them.

Lennie absently hands off the tubes to Joel.

“Okay, okay, hey sweet girl,” she coos as the horse flares its nostrils in an attempt to suck in breath. She immediately starts unbuckling the bridle and hands it to whoever takes it, Tommy this time. “It’s okay momma, I’ve got you.” She presses her forehead to the white star between the horse’s eyes and pauses for a moment. 

Joel swears Gloria relaxes and presses her head back against Lennie.

“Ok, G, this is gonna suck, but I have to put these tubes in your nose, ok? We have to make sure you can breathe, sweet girl. Joel, let me get those,” Lennie gestures to the tubes. 

“Tommy, Joel, hold her steady, yeah? She goes to strike, back away. She goes to rear, let her. She’s gonna toss her head a bit, that’s fine, let her do what she needs to.” Lennie holds one tube between her teeth and rubs her free hand under Gloria’s chin.

Joel hands the jar of liquid to Maria and positions himself against Gloria’s left shoulder, one hand in her mane, the other around the front of her neck, while Tommy moves around the opposite side to mirror his pose, grabbing the saddle horn. Lennie stands first on Joel’s side, gently passing her fingers over Gloria’s right nostril, telegraphing what she’s about to do. 

“On three, boys,” it’s muffled through the tube in her mouth as she braces one leg behind the other. “One, two, three.”

Lennie passes one tube cleanly up Gloria’s right nostril before the horse has time to react. All three of them manage to get clear while she tosses and shakes her head at the intrusion.

“Okay, one more.” They each take their positions again and Lennie moves to stand on Tommy’s side to repeat the process. Everyone manages to get clear before Gloria strikes and stamps as she shakes her head. 

“More sensitive on that side, hold on to her,” Lennie nods at Tommy who again grabs the saddle horn. She’s left an inch and a half of tubing protruding from each nostril and Gloria snorts a few times before her breathing evens out.

“I got it!” Ellie comes running out from behind the laundromat and straight to Lennie, thrusting the canvas bag into her hands.

“This is perfect, Ellie, thank you,” she rips off a handful of leaves and shoves them into her mouth. “Find me two or three of the biggest single leaves you can out of that,” she mumbles through a full mouth and hands the bag back over. “Joel, soak two strips of that cloth in tincture for me.” He takes the wad of linen from Lennie and the jar from Maria and returns soaked fabric.

“Hold her, Joel,” she tips her chin towards the horse and Ellie takes the contents of his hands before Joel again presses his chest to the horse’s shoulder, wrapping his arms around her neck.

Lennie squeezes liquid from one cloth into the horse’s mouth and gestures to Ellie for leaves, which she arranges on the wrung out cloth. She spits into the leaves and squeezes the fresh cloth into the poultice. 

“Alright, sweet girl.” Lennie gingerly wipes the bite down before pressing the poultice against it.

Gloria again relaxes into her hand.

Maria makes eye contact with Tommy as the baby starts to fuss. He nods and Maria slips away.

“Okay, sweet girl. Okay. Let’s get her back to the stable.” She keeps her hand over the poultice as she and Tommy guide the horse back home, Joel and Ellie following close behind.

When she’s settled back into her stall, Lennie applies more tincture to the cloth to keep the poultice in place.

“I’ll have to re-dose her every hour and refresh the poultice at about the same. It’ll be a long night, but she’ll be just fine, Tommy.” Lennie reassures. “You all should head out to Mess before they stop serving.”

“You should go first, I’ll stay with her.” Tommy chimes in.

“Tommy, you know I can’t leave her.”

He searches Lennie’s eyes. He’s known her long enough to know that she cares too much.

“Alright, alright ok. I’ll bring dinner back for you.”

“Show me her feed too, I’m sure she’s hungry.”

Tommy and Lennie abscond to another part of the stable leaving Joel and Ellie to exchange looks.

Neither of them have any idea what’s going on, and yet both can see that Lennie knows exactly what she’s doing.

“Plantain soothes and repairs tissue,” Ellie offers, echoing what Lennie had taught her. “By the way, why were you in the shop today?”

“I needed more coffee.” 

Ellie nods in a way that tells him she doesn’t fully buy into his story.

“Alright, Ellie, you come with me, we’ll go get dinner, Joel, you don’t mind staying to help Len, do you? We’ll bring food back for you both.” Tommy directs. 

Lennie glances quickly at Joel and then at Tommy. She knows what’s going unsaid.

“Yeah. Yeah of course.” Joel says.

“Bring extra apples.” Lennie calls after them and runs a hand through her hair.

Lennie and Joel work in comfortable silence to remove Gloria’s saddle and feed her dinner mixed with tincture by hand to keep her from upsetting the tubes in her nose. When they’re through, Joel brushes her down as Lennie refreshes the poultice.

Tommy and Ellie return an hour later with two trays of beef stew and bread, apples piled on each. After Lennie reassures Tommy that there’s nothing he need do here tonight, he stretches and rubs the back of his neck before pulling Joel aside.

“Hey, uh, I hate to put this on you, but are you good to stay with her tonight? Here, to help her? I don’t want to leave Maria to take care of the baby on her own for too long, otherwise I’d do it. If not, it's not a problem, knock on my door when you tap out and I’ll come down…”

“Tommy, it’s fine, whatever you two need. I’ll stay and help her out, it’s not a problem.”

“Alright. Alright, ok,” Tommy scrubs one hand down his face and claps Joel on the back with another.

“Ellie, you should head out too,” Joel tosses his head in Tommy’s direction. 

“Are you kidding me? Len’s treating a fucking rattlesnake bite, you think I’m gonna miss that?”

Joel glances at Lennie, who shrugs and takes a seat on the floor to start on dinner. 

“Alright fine. You can stay through the next dose but then you have to head home to bed. It’s getting late.”

“Deal,” she gently strokes Gloria’s back before moving to her face, whispering soft sweet words to the horse.

With that Tommy excuses himself to home to help Maria with the baby. 

Joel takes a seat on the floor next to Lennie to start on his own dinner. She slips her hunk of bread onto his tray.

It feels blissfully intimate in the moment. 

Comfortable.

Normal.

“So what’s in that?” Ellie points at the jar of liquid laying nestled in hay next to Lennie.

“Echinacea tincture," she says between bites. "Rattlesnake venom causes tissue necrosis.” Ellie squints. “It eats away at tissue, killing it off. That contains a compound that stops the reaction. It also increases white blood cell activity, helping the body to heal itself,” Lennie answers between bites of food. “And plantain…”

“Heals tissue.” Ellie finishes

“You got it,” Lennie’s smile is bright.

“And you chewed them up and spat them out because…”

“Breaks down the plant,” Joel chimes in. 

“Yeah, I know how chewing works…”

“No, he’s right. It breaks the plant down and makes beneficial compounds more accessible.”

“Spit poultice," Joel mumbles through a mouthful of bread.

“Oh. Cool. Then what are the big leaves for?”

“Holds everything together, keeps the cloth from absorbing liquid out of the poultice. Want that juice to stay on the bite.”

Ellie has moved to Gloria’s face now, “and the tubes are because… her nose swelled up. These keep her airway open if it swells more.” She cuts a glance down at Lennie who nods, and then sneezes.

Ellie and Joel both give their blessings, while Lennie answers, “sorry.” 

“And you’ve done this before?”

“Maybe…twelve times on horses?”

“On other things too?” Ellie arches an eyebrow.

“Three goats, four sheep, one dog, two cows,” Lennie squints one eye as though it helps her remember.

“Any people?” Ellie comes to sit beside her.

“Nah they probably save the antivenom for people.” Joel chimes in.

“There is no antivenom, Joel.”

“What.”

“There hasn’t been for fifteen years. It’s incredibly unstable as it is and has to be kept refrigerated which, there goes most stock after the collapse. What survived went to the QZs in areas where it made sense and even then, it has a short shelf-life. Plus, no one wanted to use horses to make more, they became too valuable.”

“So you’ve done it with people,” Ellie leans to look across Lennie’s tray at Joel.

“Two people have been bitten in my time here. They’re both still here, no lasting damage,” Lennie grabs an apple and unsheathes her knife.

“That’s amaz…” Joel starts.

“Fuckin awesome!” Ellie finishes. “How did you learn all of this?”

“Books, mostly. And desperation, probably,” Lennie answers as she slices, arranging the cut pieces on the side plate where her bread was. “Hand me that, Ellie?” This about the jar of tincture. She uses her clean spoon to drip liquid onto each slice before handing the plate to Ellie. “Wanna feed her those?”

“Hell yeah.”

“Careful of the poultice,” Joel calls after Ellie as Lennie sneezes again, twice this time. “You okay?”

“Yeah. I’m allergic.”

“To horses.”

“Horses. And dogs. Cats. Cows.” Lennie smiles and reaches into her pocket for a brown dropper bottle to place a few drops under her tongue. “I’ll live.”

Joel cannot help but smirk.

“So what would you use for a bee sting?” Ellie hands the plate back to Lennie and Joel collects the trays.

“Bee balm.”

“Okay. Fine, makes sense. A sunburn?”

“St. Johns Wort.”

“Broken bones?”

“Jane down at the hospital would set them, and then boneset and comfrey all day, internally and externally.”

“Boneset.” Ellie is struck by the simplicity of it. “Okay, chicken pox?”

“They still have that?” Joel returns to the stall.

“Yeah it went around FEDRA school when I was like eight.”

“Safflower, black cohosh, plus probably some other things externally for the itching. Calendula, chamomile. It’s a virus, so something like yarrow wouldn’t hurt.”

“Constipation.” Ellie draws out each syllable with an arched brow, earning a scowl from Joel.

“Slippery elm, marshmallow root, that one depends on what caused it.”

“Stinky feet.” She’s getting more ridiculous in an effort to trip Lennie up.

“Oak bark.”

“Syphilis.”

“Ellie!” Joel barks.

“Haven’t encountered that one yet but there’s an old sailor’s remedy of burdock, yarrow, parsley, comfrey, and yellow dock that I read about once. Thistle was also used in these parts.”

“Wow.” Ellie seems to have run out of random medical conditions, and leans back against the wooden walls of the stall.

“Back pain?” Joel offers from the corner.

“Nerves or muscles?”

“Uh. Muscles?”

“Arnica,” she makes note to pass him some oil tomorrow.

“So you have to be here all night?” Ellie says.

“In the first few hours, the frequency of dosing helps. That swelling hasn’t gotten worse, and by tomorrow it should be reduced if we keep this up until morning. Horses are sturdy, she’ll bounce back just fine.”

“Is there anything you need? From the shop? I can run and grab it for you?” Ellie offers.

“Actually, a coat would be great if you don’t mind. Grab one for your dad too.”

Ellie doesn’t correct her and Joel notices.

In the commotion of the afternoon Lennie had run out into the street in a Rolling Stones t-shirt and jeans, and the setting sun had taken its heat with it. The barn was still warm, but it wouldn’t be for much longer. “And if you could lock her up for me? The bigger brass one is the deadbolt.” Lennie passes Ellie a ring with three keys.

When Ellie slips out, Joel realizes he feels like an idiot for not having a flannel to offer her. He had been similarly stuck with just his t-shirt and was grateful she had the foresight to consider him as well.

“I can grab a blanket if you’re…”

“I’m okay for now, thanks.” She offers him a soft smile from across the stall.

Joel moves to sit near her, offering his heat in lieu of fabric.

“Did you break this at some point?” Lennie points to his right hand, “I noticed you clench and shake it sometimes.”

“I uh. Think I might have. Like a year ago, thought it was a hairline. Still bothers me when I use it too much–probably didn’t heal right.”

“May I?” He nods and she shifts to face him, taking his right hand between her palms and he hisses a sharp inhale. Her eyes jump to his, searching them for signs of pain. “Does that hurt?”

“No.”

Being touched and being burned just have the same effect nowadays.

“Do you get tingling? Pins and needles?”

“Not, not really.”

“Okay, tell me if any of this hurts, yeah?” Joel nods and she feels around, applying deep pressure down into the bones of his hand and then up through his wrist before lacing her fingers through his and putting her other hand on his elbow. “Relax, Joel,” she shakes the hand that’s entwined with his and angles big eyes up at him, noting his features are wrought through with tension. She takes him through a full range of motion, feeling how the bones shift under muscle.

“Do you want me to stop?”

He doesn’t realize how tight his features are. 

“No. Sorry, I’m just not used to…”

A soft “yeah,” falls from her lips. 

She unlaces her hand from his and he very nearly reaches for her again, but luckily she returns contact, palm to palm, supporting his hand. “Tell me if there’s anywhere you have diminished sensation?” She taps around, just behind the knuckles of his index finger, then behind the knuckles of his pinky, just above the nails of his index and middle finger, then strokes feather-light over areas of the back of his hand before flipping his hand over and repeating the process. 

“All feels the same, I think.”

“Okay good. No bad nerve damage. Your wrist and thumb are jammed up though.”

“Great,” he huffs, thinking it’s yet another thing he can thank getting old for.

“Can I adjust it for you?”

“Do what?”

“Adjust it. Definitely won’t fix it entirely, but might help.” 

“I mean, I guess, yeah. If you can.”

“Stand up for me?” They both do, and Lennie takes his left arm and guides his hand to rest just above the ditch of his right elbow. “Hold that there and relax your arm.” She holds his wrist with both hands, shaking it out before giving it a quick, controlled jerk, pressing down with both thumbs.

There’s a crack and Joel moans.

“Umm, what the fuck’s going on here?”

Ellie’s rounded the corner, jackets draped over her arm. Joel and Lennie look up. He’s sure he’s red in the face but to his own surprise, he doesn’t make a move to yank his hand back. 

“Your dad has an old hand injury that I’m adjusting. Wanna see?” 

“Yeah,” Ellie drops the jackets and Lennie’s keys on a square bale of hay and comes to stand with them both. 

“I’ve just done his wrist where one of the bones was jammed up, and his thumb is a little out of whack, so I’ll do that now,” she looks up and searches Joel’s eyes.

She swears there’s less tension knotting his features. Joel offers a small nod and bites the inside of his cheek lest he make another obscene sound. 

“Alright, deep breath, three, two,” on “one” she applies pressure at the base of his thumb and there’s another smaller pop. “See how that feels?”

Joel flexes his fingers and rotates his wrist before shaking his hand out and repeating the motions. 

“It’s actually. A bit better.”

Lennie smiles as she makes her way over to the coats. Ellie brought her sweatshirt as well and she slips it on before taking a seat. 

“What is that, how did you learn to do that?” Ellie plops down next to her.

“I traveled with a chiropractor for about a year and she taught me a few things. It’s subtle manipulations to encourage bones back into their proper positions.”

“No shit. Were you a doctor before this?” Ellie’s eyes go wide.

“Very much not, no,” Lennie almost smiles.

“What did you do before?”

“Ellie…” Joel softly chides.

“No, it’s okay,” Lennie rakes a hand through her hair. “I was a lawyer.”

“Like Maria?”

“There are a few of us here. And yes and no. I wasn’t the kind of lawyer that goes to court. ”

She leaves it at that and Ellie doesn’t ask because she’s not really sure what it is that lawyers do that’s not putting people in jail.

“Is chiropractic something you do here?” Joel changes the subject, joining them on the floor, still flexing his hand in the way you do when you’re suddenly too aware of one part of your body.

“Only in extraordinary circumstances. Don’t really like touching people.”

Says the woman who pressed her ear to his bare chest when he might have been dying. 

“Hands and feet are usually okay, but spines get pretty, physical. That’s where I kind of tap out. Adjusted plenty of animals though. Actually did Gloria a few weeks ago.”

“Speaking of,” Joel starts, “I think she’s due for a poultice change, and then you need to get off to bed,” he nods at Ellie.

“Can I do it?” Ellie asks.

“Of course.” Lennie guides her through the steps, but she’s been watching closely and picks it up with ease. When she’s done, she puts up a fight about leaving.

“Ellie, I’m not gonna ask again, that was the deal.” Joel is kind but firm.

“Fine.” Ellie kicks at some hay, “but come sunrise, I’m coming straight back.”

“I’d expect nothing less.” Joel accepts the hug Ellie gives him and he kisses the top of her head. She spins on her heel intending to give Lennie one too before remembering.

“Hugs are okay, Ellie,” Lennie smiles and Ellie obliges.

Joel notes how Lennie still holds her breath.

“Remember what her nose looks like, yeah? We’ll be counting on you to give us your honest opinion on how it looks in the morning.” 

“I only do honest opinions,” Ellie winks as she backs out of the stall. “You two have fun.”

Lennie sneezes twice again when she’s gone and Joel smirks.

“Bless you.”

“And what exactly about that amuses you Miller?” Lennie teases.

“You’re basically the town vet and you’re allergic to everything with four legs.”

Lennie laughs. “Needs must,” she manages before another sneeze and she digs into her pocket for the dropper bottle again. 

Lennie checks on Gloria’s breathing, holding her hands in front of the tubes, feeling each strong, warm breath against her palms, then feels around for her heart rate with fingers pressed under her jaw. Joel watches, arms crossed over his chest, less looming and more a protective presence.

“She’s all good,” Lennie concludes, making her way over to the coats. It’s probably down to forty outside and it’s only gone ten o’clock. “Might want to grab her blanket, though.” She says handing the larger coat to Joel, who gratefully accepts.

He does wonder why she has a coat that seems fit for a man much taller than him, but thinks better of asking, opting to pull a blanket from the shelf across from the stall.

She dons her own coat and helps him buckle Gloria in.

Lennie shoves her hands in her pockets when she’s through, and the ring on her pinky clinks against something metal.

“Ooohhhoho yess,” Lennie pulls out a flask with bright eyes and grins.

“Fancy some gin?”

“Oh hell yeah,” Joel sits, back braced against a bale, legs outstretched and Lennie sits in front of them, her back against the stall wall as the flask passes between them.

“I still can’t believe you make that.”

“Yeah, swing by and I’ll show you some day,” she lets her head fall back against the wood and breathes deep. 

Joel’s eyes trace the column of her throat and he opens his mouth before his staring gets him in trouble.

“So— a lawyer?”

“Yeah,” the word comes out on a sardonic laugh. “Could not have picked something more useless,” she looks over at him with a smile.

Joel returns her mirth. “What kind of law?”

“Corporate,” and they both smile again. “Mergers and acquisitions. Did it for a year and a half out of law school, absolutely fucking hated it. Like, seriously questioned if I even wanted to be in the profession any more.” She takes another sip and passes the flask to Joel.

“Yeah that sounds,” he pauses trying to be polite, “pretty fuckin dismal.” He can’t.

“But then the world fucking ended, so. Kind of made that decision for me.” Joel holds her stare, a smile playing on his lips as he takes another sip.

“Where’d you go to law school?”

“No, you’re gonna laugh.”

“Don’t say Harvard.”

Lennie presses her lips together and scrunches her nose.

“NOOO,” Joel rumbles, brown eyes open wide as they both erupt in a fit of laughter.

“Didn’t have to worry about paying back student loans though,” Lennie lifts the flask in a kind of salute to the universe.

“So how the hell did you end up doing this?”

“Don’t really know. Had a passing interest in it and an undergrad in biology. Kind of made sense, I guess. I read fast and retain stuff pretty well, so I guess I can thank law school for that much.” Lennie passes the flask back to him and lays on her side at Joel’s feet, propping her head up on crossed arms.

“What about you?”

He hesitates for a moment and she sees something flash in his eyes.

“It’s okay, you don’t…”

“I was a contractor. Never finished college,” he takes a swig.

“You did something useful then.”

“Yeah. Yeah I guess.”

It’s sore here, and Lennie moves on.

“So what does Joel Miller like to do for fun?”

He holds her gaze and pauses a moment, fingers fiddling with an engraving on the flask—he can’t tell what. And he can’t remember what fun is.

“It’s a weird question, I know.”

“Used to like swimming, I guess. Hiking. Playing guitar,” he considers carefully before the next word, “singing.”

“No shit. I'd love to hear that. At some point. I won't put you on the spot now.”

“Yeah, alright,” he smirks and stands, handing the flask back down to her as she sits up. “I got the next dose,” he grabs an apple from their stash and cuts it up and she brings the jar of tincture to dose the slices. Joel handles changing the poultice and returns, sitting next to her this time.

They fall into easy conversation as they split the remainder of the gin. Favorite movies, sports teams, music. All the beauty of before and none of the baggage that crowds the room whenever he and Tommy try for the same.

They manage one more change before sleep starts to creep in.

“She’s doing well, we can probably push it out to two, get a little bit of sleep. It’s midnight now.”

“Yeah,” Joel scrubs a hand down his face, “yeah that’s a good idea.”

Lennie sets an alarm on her watch and Joel takes the other side of the stall. He watches as Lennie curls up into the hay, resting her head on her arms, legs pulled up tight to her chest. He watches as her breathing evens out to slow deep lungfuls. Watches as her features relax, eyes tracing her brow, where her eyelids flutter, the soft part in her lips because her nose is stuffed up, down to where the curve of her hip only just peeks out from underneath her jacket.

He flexes his hand again not out of pain, but longing to trace everywhere his eyes have just tread. He mirrors her pose and drinks her in, her wild halo of dark curls the last sight he remembers before sleep takes him.

_____

There’s a soft chime creeping in on tendrils of consciousness two hours later, and he wakes with a start. Lennie quickly gets to her feet and she’s cutting an apple by the time Joel brings her the jar of tincture. 

At some point she’d piled more hay up around her. It’s sticking to the corduroy collar of her coat. Strands of gold grasped in the tendrils of her black hair.

“Thanks,” she sniffs, congestion a little worse than before.

They work in silence, he starts chewing plantain as she feeds Gloria slices wet with medicine. As he finishes refreshing the poultice he hears Lennie’s teeth clack. He looks over and realizes she’s shivering. 

“Lennie,” Joel clasps the hand that’s not holding the tincture jar in palms that dwarf hers. She’s ice. 

“You’re fucking freezing.”

“It’s fine, Joel,” she leaves the jar in his hands and her fingers tremble as she sets her watch alarm again, digits nearly too numb for the buttons.

“No, no it’s not,” he storms out of the stall to raid the pile of blankets, settling on a waxed cotton one that wouldn’t hold on to horse hair.

“Lay down, Len,” he nods at her little hay pile when he storms back in.

“At least buy me dinner first,” she quips followed by a sniffle. She takes a few more drops of whatever she’s been using for allergies before complying.

Joel waits for her to settle into a comfortable position before gently placing the blanket over where she’s cradled in hay.

He grabs whatever’s on the top of the blanket pile for himself before settling in to his spot opposite her again.

He can still hear shuddering breath.

Fuck it.

He stalks over to her and mumbles “scoot.” She sits up and shuffles away from the wall and he unzips the front of his coat. “Flip this,” he pulls the zipper on her jacket and helps her put her arms through it backwards before folding himself in behind her so the heat from his chest can warm her back. 

He’s careful, however, to keep his hips well away. 

Joel pulls the canvas blanket up over them, suddenly unsure of where to put his arms. He extends one above his head and lays the other awkwardly along his side.

“Thank you,” she whispers. It takes two minutes for shivering to slow and another three for her breath to even out.

He knows because he’s counting the fucking seconds. He hadn’t thought this through.

She was cold and he hadn’t thought this through.

If last night knew what today was.

It’s torture, this frigid lover’s embrace.

_____

Two hours worth of seconds finds him molded to her in slumber. One arm has snaked under her to support her head, right through the gap where her neck meets her shoulder. Hips are pressed flush, one of his legs tangled between hers. One massive palm splays against her stomach. 

His nose is buried in her hair.

Soft chimes wake him to the smell of cedar, lavender, hay, and her.

He breathes in deep and reflexively pulls all of her in before she tenses against him and he springs away.

Fuck, fuck, FUCK.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” he’s on his feet as she blearily props herself up to sitting.

He’s already chewing plantain and hacking away at an apple with his knife when she brings him the jar of tincture, jacket still on backwards.

She’s not speaking.

Fuck, why won’t she say something.

She helps him in silence, capping the tincture jar when it’s through and taking it back to her nest with her. Gloria is too close to the stall wall now for him to slip through on the side opposite Lennie and curl under his own blanket where he actually belongs.

He has to pass her.

And so he holds his breath as he does.

“Where are you going?” She mumbles when it’s clear he’s not returning. 

It’s soft. Innocent. 

It’s afraid.

What he can’t know is it’s four-in-the-morning fear of never being held like that again.

He opens his mouth and “my side,” comes falling out.

Lennie looks up at him with big, sleep-glassed eyes.

God, he wants to kiss her. 

In her backwards jacket, hair full of hay, stuffy fuckin nose and all.

He wants to wrap himself in lavender and redwood and never be free of that scent on his skin again.

“You’re warm,” is what she says in lieu of begging him not to take his heat from her.

She gives him the out of “and now so are you.”

The out of “I’m glad you’re not freezing anymore.”

She gives him the chance to escape her and take his touch with him.

And instead, he brings it back.

Crawling back under where she holds the blanket up, arranging himself with all of his prior awkward angles. 

How he was before they found each other in their sleep.

She can feel him holding his breath.

Because she’s not breathing either.

Lennie doesn’t want to bring baggage to this. Doesn’t want to let slip that she hasn’t been held like that in years—not since the him whose jacket Joel is wearing and whose boots still sit in her hallway and whose wedding ring she keeps around her neck threaded on a chain alongside her own. 

She doesn’t want to tell him with her words that he’s the first man who makes her feel again and she can’t fucking explain why because she doesn’t know him, except she does. 

She doesn’t want to give weight to the fact that he’s the one who moved in the night to fold himself around her.

Doesn’t want to tell him how frightened she is that he doesn’t find this as maddening as she does.

And she’s terrified to move lest this shatter.

But she can’t do this for another second.

“Joel.”

“Yeah.”

“Before was—okay.”

“Listen, I’m sorry about that, Lennie.”

And she starts to fracture thinking he’ll say that it won’t happen again.

“You said you don’t like it, and I…I…I just kind of moved and I’m sorry I got way into your space and I didn’t mean…”

“Move again.”

“What?”

“Move. Again.”

Joel’s breath hitches and he curls tentatively against her, chest to her back first before the line of his body follows, finding her form. 

Her waist with his hand.

Her hair with his nose.

And she melts back into him.

And finally they both breathe.

And sleep comes easy. Tangled like this.

_____

“How’s she doing?” Asked in Ellie’s voice the next thing he hears.

He sucks in a sharp breath with a start and prepares half-true excuses.

But when he opens his eyes, Lennie isn’t there.

Instead, she’s stroking the star on Gloria’s forehead, back-lit by rising sun filtering in through curls that shape the morning light like cut pieces of stained glass.

“Come and see.”

He sits up and watches the way she smiles when Ellie’s face lights up in disbelief.

“It’s gotta be down by what? At least half?”

“I’d say about that much, yeah.”

“Joel, look at this!”

And he does, leaving the warmth of the questionable bed they never should have shared.

He’d say it’s about that much.

“You did it,” Ellie gives each of them a high five and they pause just short of high-fiving each other.

Live wires thrumming with a need one spark short of exploding.

“I can take over for the day, if you want?” Ellie offers. 

“Yeah, yeah, actually. That would be great. I think we’d both appreciate sleeping in our own beds.” Lennie says it without bitterness, eyes locked on Joel for the slightest reaction.

She gets it in a minute tic of his brow.

“How often should I give her medicine? Still every hour?”

“Can probably knock it down to every three, actually. No signs of necrosis, and I doubt we’d see any now. Three should be good. And we’ll get these tubes out too.” 

Joel gently guides Ellie out of the way and moves to stand at Gloria’s shoulder to steady her. Lennie gently wiggles each tube, testing for internal inflammation before sliding each free in turn.

Gloria snorts and tosses her head, nearly knocking Lennie into him.

Even the horse is sick of their shit.

“How’s my girl?” Tommy appears now, glass tupperware and something wrapped in paper balanced in his hand. “Brought you both breakfast.”

A wrapped breakfast sandwich goes to Joel and the container of bacon and eggs to Lennie.

“She sailed right through the worst of it. Ellie is going to take over dosing every three hours, but I’d say we’re just about there.”

Tommy moves to take a look for himself, gently pressing a kiss to the horse’s forehead before reaching out a hand to Lennie.

“You did it again.”

“Happy to help,” she smiles as Tommy claps Joel on the back. 

“You two must be wiped, come on, I’ll walk you back. Ellie, you good?”

“Yeah, I got this.”

“Anything changes for the worse, you come straight by, yeah?” Lennie nods in her direction. 

“I know where to find you. But we’ll be alright, won’t we girl?” She strokes the horse’s cheek before cooing soft words of praise.

They hit the shop first, Joel clenching his hand out of habit now more so than discomfort.

“Hey, um, thanks for your help last night, Joel,” Lennie meets his eyes as she fishes her keys from her pocket. 

“Yeah. Yeah it’s no problem.”

She offers him a tight smile before opening the shop door. “Hold up for one.”

She slips through the door and reappears with his jar of weird coffee. “You probably need that.”

“Thanks,” he offers her a grin and holds the jar up with his sandwich, “I cannot tell you how much I’m gonna enjoy this.”

He’s sleep deprived, sore, and probably delusional, but her answering smile is the most beautiful thing he’s seen in a long time. 

“Mornin’ Joel.”

“Mornin’, Len.”

It snags in his throat, but he makes his way through.

He and Tommy nearly make it to their street before Joel’s curiosity chews all the way through his filter.

“You knew she didn’t need my help last night, but you asked me to stay. Why?”

“Yeah, we uh…we don’t like Len going anywhere alone.”

“You what?” 

Hackles are up.

“We don’t…let her alone. Comings and goings during the day are fine, she’s never far from anyone, but with the stables on the edge of town…” Tommy trails off before stopping his brother. “She’s too valuable to us, Joel. To the town. I mean you just saw it with your own eyes.”

“So she’s a prisoner here.”

“Man, come on, it’s not like that. We protect her. Always make sure someone capable has her back.” 

Joel snorts and keeps moving.

“Because we almost lost her a few years back.”

And at this, Joel turns.

“She was out beyond the wall. Gathering something with her husband. He wasn’t a patrolman. Wasn’t a fighter, he was a farmer. And a musician. It wasn’t his job. Raiders came through, caught them by surprise. Thank God she had a sickle on her.  And she got ‘em good, I mean real good, Joel. But Andy didn’t have much more than a small knife."

"He uh. He didn’t make it.”

Joel’s eyes are burning.

“She was covered in blood when we found her. We couldn’t tell what was hers and what wasn’t. And screaming. So loud. Just holding him, she wouldn’t let go. We had to get Jane out there. To give her something to calm her. Just so we could move them back inside the wall.” Tommy’s voice cracks as it plays back behind his eyes. 

“You could see the moment it happened, Joel. Written on those bodies. Just. Rage. She nearly took someone’s head off, man.”

He clenches his jaw, tears threatening to spill because Sarah’s smile is here. Trying to quell the rage that rises up in his own breast at the state of the world that someone else has been here before. Felt this same bile and burn. 

And for a moment he allows himself to think of Tess.

“This is his coat, ain’t it,” Joel croaks.

“Yeah.”

“I’ll take it back to her this afternoon,” he grits out and turns on his heel.

“You should. So to answer your question, no. She’s not a prisoner.” Tommy calls after him as his boots hit his front porch.

“She’s just seen enough.” Joel finishes, throwing a wave behind him and disappearing through the front door.

And for a moment, he wishes for nothing more than to hold her again.

Because now he understands.

She understands.

next

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[scotianostra]

On November 8th 1576 Elizabeth Bessie Dunlop was found guilty of Witchcraft and sentenced to be burnt at the stake.

Today, she would have been seen as a wise woman, a psychic or a medium. But when Bessie Dunlop went on trial in Edinburgh in 1576, she was quickly branded “The Witch of Dalry”, tortured, then burned at the stake.

For years, she had been helping locals with potions, predictions and cures for cattle. But she was an early victim of the Scottish witch purges, when the saying: “Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live” was taken literally.

Records of Bessie’s trial survived through the centuries and, perhaps because of that, she remains one of Scotland’s most famous “witches”. Plays and books have been written about her over the years.

Most recent accounts portray Bessie as a woman who helped locals and their livestock with herbal cures. She also claimed to possess “second sight” – and talked to spirits and “fairies”.

Under torture, most witches would admit to almost anything – from consorting with the Devil, putting curses on locals or even killing children. Not Bessie.

Instead, she claimed merely to have met with a spirit guide, who introduced her to the fairy folk, who resided in Cleeves Cove – the secluded caves just a mile and a half from Dalry.

In her confession, she claimed that while taking her cow to a field, she came across an elderly man with a grey beard.

He claimed to be the spirit of Thomas Reid, a former Baron Officer to John Blair of Dalry, who had been killed at the battle of Pinkie in 1547.

At the time Bessie was stressed with worry, her child, husband and cow were ill, and it seemed that they would not recover. The old man comforted her and predicted that her cow and child would die, but her husband would make a full recovery. He then disappeared down a hole in a dyke that was to be much too small to let any mortal man pass by it.

On their next meeting, the strange apparition offered her material goods in the form of horses and cows if she would denounce Christianity. She refused and said that she would rather be whipped. The angry spirit disappeared.

On his return, he introduced her to the ‘fairies’. Swearing secrecy, he introduced her to four men and eight women of Elfame, another name for the fairy realm. They were dressed as humans but very smartly, the men like gentlemen, and the women had ‘all plaids about them’. They were very friendly towards Bessie but when she refused to go with them ,they left with a “hideous ugly blast of wind” leaving Bessie lying sick on the ground.

She claimed her spirit mentor taught her how to cure cattle and children. People came to her for advice on a regular basis and her reputation was beginning to spread. She was allegedly even able to tell people the location of missing items.

And it wasn’t just the poor folk of the town who consulted her.

Lady Johnstone sent a servant to consult her regarding the sickness of her daughter. Bessie in turn consulted Thomas. “Her sickness,” he is recorded as having told her, “is due to cauld blood that went about her heart, that caused her to pine away. Therefore, let her take equal parts of cloves, ginger, annis-seed, and liquorice, and mix them together in ale; seethe them together; strain the mixture; put it in a vessel, then take a little quantity of it in a mutchkin can, with some white sugar cast among it; take and drink thereof each day in the morning; walk a while after, before meat, and she would soon be better.” Bessie was also consulted by Lady Blackhall and received as payment a peck of meal and some cheese. Lady Thirdpart, in the barony of Renfrew, sent to her to discover who had stolen some coins out of her purse – Bessie named the culprit.

She was also consulted by the daughter of William Blair of Strand, who was to be married to the Laird Crawford of Baidland. Thomas, speaking through Bessie, suggested that if she were to marry him she would come to an untimely demise by her own hand. The wedding plans were dropped and the laird finally married the woman’s sister.

Thomas also allegedly predicted that Bessie would face trial for her dealings with the spirit world, but her neighbours would save her from evil. Sadly for Bessie, that prediction failed to come true.

The crime of which she was accused was “sorcery, witchcraft, and incantation, with invocation of spirits of the devil, continuing in familiarity with them at all such times as she thought expedient, dealing with charms, and abusing the people with devilish craft of sorcery aforesaid”.

Bessie is believed to have been burned to death on Edinburgh’s Castle Hill.

An alternative legend claims she was brought back to Ayrshire and burned at Corsehillmuir, Kilwinning. The court records fail to describe her final fate.

An ongoing campaign goes on in Scotland to have all those who were killed after a witchcraft conviction, tro be pardoned.

[handspunyarns]

You Were Marked: Day Four.

pairing: din djarin x fem!O/C    

word count:   2.1K 

summary: Din cannot stop laughing, Marathel ends up in a tree, and eggs are thrown with extreme prejudice 

warnings: Mando'a and English cursing, violence to unborn ovoids 

You Were Marked: Masterlist 

<- You Were Marked: Previous Chapter 

Din was still somewhere between dreaming and waking. He could only see soft, fading images in his mind: a gentle curve of a jawline, a slope of a pale-skinned shoulder. He heard a soft voice, quietly saying, “No . . . we can’t . . .” This denial made him furrow his brow even as he dozed, still gently supported in the herbal-scented clouds of sleep. Whyever not? He thought in his sleep. “No . . . don’t . . .” the soft voice pleaded again. No, don’t say ‘no’, he dreamed, but his dream was cut off like hitting a brick wall when he heard Marathel say, “Grogu! No, don’t!”, and Din felt the pounce of the little green goblin on his lower abdomen, not quite his area but close enough to make him grunt loudly with an “URGH,” and struggle to a sitting position with a babbling Grogu in his lap. 

Marathel, outside the dark curtained cubicle, stammered, “I’m so sorry, Bounty Hunter! I told him not to wake you . . .” 

“’s all right,” Din muttered as he pushed himself to a standing position, Grogu in the crook of his arm. “Time I was up. What the shab is so important, huh, buddy?” He stepped through his curtains and looked up to see Marathel standing primly in the center of the room, her hands clasped over her stomach. His first thought was that she was doing her best to look anywhere but at his face – well, helmet -- and his second thought was that she looked quite pretty today. Instead of her usual tunics and pants of dull tans, greens, and greys, she was wearing a gown of sunset yellow that fell into a swirl of fabric just above her ankles. Over this she wore a smock of deep charcoal grey, embroidered with yellow flowers around the neckline. Her silver hair was pulled back in a matching yellow scarf that was twisted around her shock of hair and tied off at the end.  

Marathel looked dismayed that Din was awakened in such a startling manner. “I told Grogu that I needed his help this morning, but we couldn’t leave until you had awakened. I did not want you to find him missing. But . . . he is impatient.” 

“Where are you going?” 

“To collect eggs.” 

“Eggs? Already?” 

She looked at his helmet for the first time, confused. “What? Oh . . . no. Not Dahl eggs. It is not quite time for those. Chook eggs.” Din tilted his helmet at her in his quiet way that she already knew meant that he needed more information. “Chooks are, uh . . . fluttery, rather stupid ground birds. They lay lots of eggs that are good for eating. I thought it may be fun for him.” She gestured to the table, where a covered plate waited. “I made you some breakfast. Grogu has already eaten. We will just be past the vegetable garden, if it is acceptable to you?”  

She had returned to her nervous formality of a couple days previous, Din noticed, as she dropped her head, and her hands began to go up her sleeves. Din stepped over and placed Grogu in her arms before her hands disappeared. “That is fine with me. That is within shouting distance, I think." 

Marathel turned a light shade of a very becoming pink having Din so close to her. She nodded, and said, “We will not be long. You will have privacy, and I will shout as we get near.” She turned towards this kitchen, cooing to Grogu, “Yes, we can finally go now, little one.” The two stepped off the platform and disappeared around the rock ridge. Din waited a few more moments, and sure he was alone, removed his helmet and gloves. He lifted the cover off the plate: toasted slabs of bread with soft cheese and fruit, with some pan-fried meat. A fresh mug of her herbal tea. He had been eating better these past few days than he had the past few months – not that he was complaining – but food was not a high priority for him. He could get too used to this kind of treatment. And the bread. Osik, she made good bread. He shoved a slab into his mouth before he even sat down.  What a good wife she would make, he thought idly, before he quashed that idea. He was not in the market for such an arrangement. He had all he could do to keep the child safe from the Imps, as well as keeping his Creed without entangling with a woman or any partner on a long-term basis. He had told Omera essentially that, and he hoped that she had found the person she needed. 

And what – or whom – did Marathel need? He scoffed, and muttered, “She got what she needed last night,” under his breath with a smirk, and then silently chided himself for such an unkind thought. He finished eating, and then took the opportunity of being alone to clean himself up, washing his hair, cleaning the bite wound again with a fresh layer of salve – this brought a small grin to his face -- and changing out his thermals and flight suit for a fresh set he had brought with him from the ship. He was in the process of reattaching his cuisses when he heard a distant shriek. Certain that it came from the direction of where Marathel and Grogu had gone, Din leapt into action and was already running that way, strapping on his jetpack and two of his most favorite blasters as he went. He heard Marathel scream, “Bounty Hunter! Bounty Hunter!” making him panic. He was already thinking the worst: Grogu was hurt in some way, a chook had pecked him in the eye, a rabid Dahl was making off with the both of them – as Din tore past the vegetable garden and leapt over the fencing that enclosed the chooks, noticing that the chooks she spoke of were indeed some sort of chicken. Skidding to a halt in the middle of the enclosure, sending chooks fluttering and clucking in all directions, Din saw that Grogu was fine. Grogu, in fact, looked perfectly pleased with himself, sitting on the ground, the basket beside him, as he held an egg in each hand. He looked quizzically up at Din and then ate one of the eggs whole. But Marathel was nowhere to be seen. Din spun around, shouting, “Marathel? Marathel! Where are you?” 

“I am . . . oof . . . up here!” 

He followed the sound of her voice, looking about 10 meters up the large tree that shadowed the chook pen. There was a distinct rustle of branches and some leaves fell, as he finally saw her perched up in the tree, balanced on her belly on a branch, reaching down to the next branch with her swinging feet. “What . . . what are you doing up there?” 

Marathel struggled a bit with a grunt, but finally made it down to the next branch. “He put me up here!” she yelled, pointing at Grogu. 

Din was finding it impossible to hide his amusement. “Why?” 

“Because you have taught him no manners!” She began to try to climb down to the next branch and was not succeeding at all. “Oof . . . I told him to stop eating all the eggs . . . I scolded him . . .” Marathel scraped her bare foot on sharp piece of bark. “Ow, ow, damnych! I scolded him, and the next thing I knew, I was up this tree!” 

Din gaped at her, then looked down at Grogu, who grinned cheekily at him, and then back up at Marathel, who was glaring back at him in fury. The laughter burbled up from deep in his gut, from a place that had not been so tickled in such a long time, and he could not help it, he burst into peals of laughter that made his sides hurt. He held his sides, bent over, trying to get control of himself, but he looked back up at Marathel standing so haughtily in that tree, and then she stamped her foot, shouting, “It is NOT funny!” The sight of her stamping her foot set him off again, and tears were rolling down his face at how ridiculous she looked. She clumsily scrambled down to the next branch, and then yelled down to him, “Are you going to help me down or not?” 

Din could barely catch his breath. “You . . . look like you’re doing just fine on your own!” 

Marathel struggled down from branch to branch, cursing at Din in her old language and muttering. “Just as bad as Grogu, you are . . . just like a child! You aren’t doing that boy any favors . . . putting me up a tree . . .” and then her gown caught on a twig and tore a large rip in the back of the skirt, effectively shutting Din up instantly. Marathel gasped in horror, twisting to see the back of her dress, crying out “Oh, damnych and double damnych!” She was close to the bottom of the tree now, so she set herself hanging from the lowest branch she could by her hands. Din went to her, putting up his hands to catch her as she came down. Unfortunately, his hands were on her smock over her waist, and the smock slid up against her dress as she slid down, and his hands ended up bracketing her breasts and holding them high against her chest, accidentally -- mostly. Marathel gasped in outrage and shoved Din as hard as she could. “Why, you . . .” She stomped away from him, spitting over her shoulder, “Y mallawer perlys, on chydich mown dynion!” 

Din chuckled quietly. “What does that mean?” 

Marathel grabbed the basket. “It means, ‘there is much virtue in herbs, but little in men!’” You’re not wrong there, thought Din. She swept a chook out of the way with her foot, sending it fluttering away, Grogu giving chase. She grabbed two eggs out of a nest with too much force, smashing the shells. Disgusted, she threw the broken eggs on the ground, snapping, “Now look what you made me do!” 

Din tilted his helmet. “Why are you so mad?” 

“I am NOT mad!” This, of course, was a lie, and Marathel grabbed another egg, this time throwing it into her basket with enough force to annihilate both it and two more eggs in the basket. She grunted in rage and picked up some more eggs.  

Din shifted his weight to one hip, crossing his arms over his cuirass. “You know, for someone who’s not mad, you’re sure making one hell of a mess out of those eggshells.”  

Marathel glared at him, and chucked an egg right at his head, where it exploded on his visor. Din fell about laughing again, wiping the egg mess off his helmet. “Whoo! Look out, Empire, we have a Stormtrooper who can actually hit something!” 

“Oh, shut up!”  Marathel stomped off through the gate of the pen, slammed it shut behind her, and began marching down the lane back to her hut. 

“Seriously, they could use someone like you!” Din shouted at her back. She whirled around, throwing another egg, which he tried to catch against his hip in his hands as it smashed into mush. “That’s what I’m talking about, lady!” he said, laughing even harder. 

“RHAFF CODIEH!” Marathel screeched over her shoulder. 

“And what does that mean?” 

“It means PISS UP A ROPE!”  

Marathel continued to march away so fast she was kicking up clouds of dirt at her ankles, her torn skirt swaying with each step, arms pumping at her sides. Din continued to laugh until he was certain she was out of earshot. He stood there, hands on hips, chuckling. “Ahhhh . . . Haar’chak.” He looked down at Grogu, who was covered in feathers and holding another egg, completely nonplussed by all the activity around him.  Grogu looked back at Din, grinning. Then he ate the egg. With a sigh, Din picked up the little green morsel, brushing the feathers from his tiny robes. “I think we’re in trouble, kiddo.” 

You Were Marked: Next Chapter

[venturethighs]

I think at some point they definitely get the courage to ask you for your name.

They learned that you actually live right next to the tavern, in that cute little house covered in flowers from ground to roof.

It's no surprise that it would belong to an elf* considering how much care and patience was put into it.

* still relatively undecided about this, but for now you're an elf.

They also learned that you tended to the community garden. You're big into nature, but that's a given. The constant flowers in your hair and flowing clothing were definitely not a dead giveaway. Sarcasm.

No wonder they never saw you around. They were either toiling away in the mines, running errands for other people or working odd jobs that usually took place on the outside of town.

They start taking days off. They're lucky that they saved up enough money that they can even do so. Instead, they start meeting you in the gardens every morning and talking to you about... anything. Everything. Nothing at all.

Every aspect of your life was slow living– and you enjoyed keeping it that way. You never thought about settling down because you already were for the most part. What truly surprised them is that you weren't married by now.

You're kind. You're patient. You're talented. You're graceful. You're certainly beautiful. Not to mention you've taken classes in cooking magic as well as potion making and herbalism? How do you not have men crawling at your beck and call?

Nobody had ever caught your eye before.

Over the coming days they began to wonder if they'd end up in the same position as all the others.

Except, one day, when you bring them a little gift on your usual morning meeting.

"You said yellow was your favorite color. So, I made you a flower crown from leftover flowers I had lying around." You hold out your offering and place it atop their brunette curls.

Clovers interwoven with baby's breath decorate the main pieces of yellow peony. It's all tied together with a yellow flowing ribbon in the back.

"Um... it's enchanted, that way it'll never wilt." You add.

They wear it with pride.

You also brought them a potion you had made. Its base was chai tea, heavily mixed with sweetened milk and charmed to never expire nor shatter upon dropping.

"It has regenerative properties. You do a lot of physical labor... I thought that would benefit you best." You explain further.

"I'll make it for you whenever you want. Just drop by, I'll brew you some tea and we can talk." You smile.

Oh gosh– they're a flustered mess. Their heart is practically leaping out of their chest.

And it doesn't just stop there.

It's gotten to the point you have their usual order ready when they stop by the tavern later in the evening. You sit with them, often talking about their day, watching as they eat to their hearts content.

Then, one day, you're suddenly the one feeding them their food.

You take a slice of bread and dip it in the melted cheese, holding your hand underneath it as you bring it up to their mouth. They happily eat it– and why does it taste so much better this way?

You hold the skewer for them as they rip off pieces of meat and vegetable. Yet, they're not rude about it in the slightest. Especially not now.

You refill their drink– alcohol first, cider or ale for the rest– holding the stein to their lips as they drink their fill.

Little hearts form inside your eyes. Or at least that's what it looked like, when the fireplace reflects off them.

You fork their cake into bite sized pieces and continue to make sure not a single crumb falls onto their clothing.

Once they're done you wipe their mouth with ease. Except for today, when they had a smudge of icing leftover on their lips.

You lean in and give them a kiss.

"I got it!"

Sloan.exe has stopped working.

[waterfallofspace]

Letting It In & Letting It Go (2/3)

The one in which K/azuki learns to let his feelings in, and R/ei learns to let his walls go down, at least a little. Feat. Sick R/ei, caretaker K/azuki, and heavy ship implications (cough outright statements cough), though, they aren’t in a relationship at this point.

Same description as the last one, welcome to Part Two!  (Link to part one is ~~here~~)

R/ei is still sick, but hopefully he’s feeling a bit better since the last time. I guess we’ll see, won’t we?!  (Again, welcome to ‘I have B/uddy D/addies brain rot so, to anyone who bothers to read this, thank you for your time, I hope it’s enjoyable!) (references to violence, swearing, smoking, trauma, bad coughing/wheezing, incase you don’t like any of that) ((ALSO: There are spoilers for B/uddy D/addies. Slight, but it’s still spoilers, so be warned!))  Characters: R/ei, K/azuki, Angst&Banter feat. Caretaking  Word Count: 5.9k (oh lord)

Kazuki’s eyes flutter open, and as he gets his bearings, he realizes he fell asleep at the table. Rei is still letting out congested snores from the couch, but the slight wheeze in his lungs is gone. ‘That’s a relief, at least for now’ he thinks, a yawn escaping. Stumbling to the door, Kazuki opens it to find, true to his word, Kyu had left a basket of supplies outside. The note pinned to it lists what’s in it, and what medications not to combine. ‘Thanks Kyu’. He makes another mental note to text him later with an actual thanks. He lays all the stuff out on the table, taking stock of what was brought. There are some tea bags, a few boxes of tissues, and a pharmacy worth of medications. Cough drops, cough syrups, nasal decongestants (in the form of sprays), pain relievers, and antihistamines, along with a few boxes of general cold meds. Each is unopened, and clearly listed on the note by name, type, and what not to take with it. Turning his attention back to Rei, Kazuki tries to figure out, without waking the man, what medications he should get ready. He can hear the congestion in his snores, so getting him to take the nasal spray when he wakes up would probably help. Kazuki sighs to himself, realizing that task may not be as simple as it sounds. Rei isn’t exactly someone who enjoys discomfort, so convincing him to use a spray that will help, but will feel awful at first… ‘yeah, not gonna be easy’.  Getting back to symptom management, he thinks back to yesterday. The fever was alarming, but it’s since broken, and Rei doesn’t look particularly warm anymore. He was also coughing and sneezing a lot, which he isn’t now, ‘but that’s most likely due to him, ya know, being unconscious’. After studying the list a bit more, and comparing medications and uses, Kazuki decides on a few main choices. Setting aside a nasal spray, general cold medication, an herbal brand of cough medicine, and a handful of cough drops, he packs the rest back into the basket. The tissues are set next to the medication, along with the tea, of which he picks out a nice vanilla chamomile, and gets up to start the kettle.  ~~~~~~~ Stirring on the couch knocks Kazuki out of his sleepy daze, and he looks up to see Rei raising a hand to swipe at his nose. He attempts to sit up, which apparently requires significant effort given the pace he’s going at. “Rise and shine Rei, you want some breakfast?” The low groan he gets in return is indistinguishable as an answer, and since he didn’t eat for most of yesterday, Kazuki decides Rei no longer gets a say in the matter. He starts cracking a few eggs, turning on the stovetop and fishing a frying pan out of the drawer.  “Hh’nggxt-! ehhH’NNgxt-! nnDGXXT-!uhhh”  “Bless you!” “hH’KNNGT-!hhuhh”  “And again. You want bacon with your eggs?” “Who said I want eggs?” Kazuki let out a soft sigh, flashing Rei his most charming smile with just a touch of pleading in his eyes. “You didn’t eat anything yesterday, or dinner the night before, so today you’re eating eggs. But the bacon is optional, because I’m not gonna waste perfectly good meat on you if you’re just gonna pick at it and leave it behind. It’s bacon after all.”  Rei gives a grunt in response, so Kazuki throws an extra piece of bacon on, just incase. He could always eat it himself if Rei’s uninterested. Taking note of the harsh quality of Rei’s voice, he also starts a pot of rice, something easier on the throat and stomach. While the food cooks, Kazuki takes a minute to take in Rei’s appearance. He’s normally dishevelled, but the redness around his nose and pale quality of his skin is making him look particularly rough. He looks almost bruised, the dark bags under his eyes deepening against the tired depth of them. At just the sight of him you’d think he hadn’t slept in months, but with this sickness he’d slept more in the past day than he had in weeks.  The way his teeth dig into his lip and the lines forming around his eyes read plainly of pain. His hands grip the controller a bit too tightly, the whites of his knuckles showing. His whole body is tense, like normal, but the slight trembling of his muscles suggest this stance is taking considerable effort. Kazuki picks up on these tells almost instantly, shuddering a little as he realizes just how deeply Rei must be hurting for him to be able to notice them so easily. “Hey-” Kazuki starts, not missing the way Rei flinches at the volume of his voice. He softens a little before continuing.  “-I have some medicine for you to take. Kyu dropped it off outside earlier, must have been when we were- uh, nevermind! The point is, I need you to take it, so do I need to make some airplane noises, or are you adult enough to do it yourself?”  Rei gives him a measured look, before shrugging, his eyes flashing back to the TV. ‘Not an outright no, so that’s progress!’ Kazuki thinks to himself, turning off the stove and plating the food he’s made. He piles himself a nice tall plate of eggs and bacon, with a small bowl of rice. However, he serves Rei just a single fried egg and a small pile of rice, setting the single strip of bacon next to it. Nothing too overwhelming, just something to give his system a bit of energy. “Come and get it while it’s fresh and hot!” Rei trudges over, and Kazuki doesn’t miss the wince he tries to hide when he first stands, or the way his hand flies almost on its own to his head, giving his temples a quick rub. ‘Headache then, and likely a bad one.’ Kazuki makes a mental note to add ‘pain relievers’ to the list of meds he has set out for Rei.  ~~~~~~~ They ate in relative silence, Rei picking at his food, but managing to get bits of it into his mouth. Sniffling and light coughs broke up the still air, but Kazuki just ignored them. It almost felt like feeding a stray cat. Every movement Rei made was calculated, and in return Kazuki was slow, careful not to scare him into retreating back to the couch.  “hH’KNGT-! hIH’DNNT-!uhhh”  “Bless you! ….Those sound like they hurt.” “It’s fihhhne. Hihh… hAH’GNXXT-!uhhh”  “And again.”  Kazuki can’t help but grimace at the weak groan that escapes Rei’s throat before he can suppress it. ‘Why stifle when it’s hurting your head so much, and not even stopping the tickle?’ He muses, watching as Rei ducks into his chest with another contained sneeze, this one barely even audible. The watery quality of Rei’s eyes as he slowly brings his head back up doesn’t go unnoticed, but Kazuki decides to put it on the backburner. Right now he needs to focus on getting Rei to take the medication. He reaches back into the basket, pulling out a bottle of painkillers, and adding a couple to the cup of meds he had already set out. Setting the nasal spray beside it, and pouring a spoonful of cough syrup, he meets Rei’s eyes. “Swallow these with water, then take this.” Seeing the hesitation on Rei’s face as he regards the nasal spray, Kazuki gives him a light chuckle. “You can save that one for later. You should do it eventually, but these pills will take the edge off the congestion anyways. Now hurry up before this falls off the spoon. Kyu paid for this, so I’ll make you lick it off the table if it spills.” Rei gave him a low growl, but swallowed the meds dry, ‘show off’, before taking the spoon, making a face as he put it in his mouth, but finishing it anyways. Satisfied with these results, Kazuki gestures for him to return to the couch, and Rei obliges eagerly.  Kazuki then went about clearing the table, and making a mental note to make rice again for lunch (as it was the only part of the meal Rei had actually finished). He then happened to glance back over at Rei just in time to see him crush his nose into his wrist with a harsh “hH’KNNGT-!” that left them both wincing. “Bless you. But christ Rei, just cut that out already, you’re gonna kill your head even more. It’s actually hurting me to hear you do this. I thought we went over this yesterday!” Rei shoots him a glance at that last section, as if desperately searching for any indication of the day prior that fever seems to have wiped clean. “I don’t remember much of yesterday. Just something about the tub…”  “Yeah well, not surprising. You were pretty out of it. Anyways, doesn’t matter, the point is, suppressing them like that is fine for jobs or whatever, but right now you’re just hurting yourself. Plus it’s… it’s gotta be annoying right..? It doesn’t exactly scratch the itch.” “It’s a habit.” Kazuki rolls his eyes, knowing just as well as Rei does that with this much sneezing, it’s a choice, not an instinct. And even though he does believe Rei that it’s a habit, he also knows that the sneezes aren’t gonna stop anytime soon. Keeping this up is just gonna make his headache even worse. Rei brings a hand up to crush his nose shut for another deeply unsatisfying “hH’NGXT-! heh’DXXGT-!” and when Kazuki sees the tear roll from his eyes at the pain of it, he can’t stand it anymore. He walks out of the kitchen, passing the living room and heading up to his bedroom to fetch something. The feather duster sits right where he left it in his closet.  ‘Sorry Rei, but I promise this is for the best’ he says to himself as he approaches the couch once back downstairs. Rei is giving him a measured look, obviously noticing the way he’s holding his hands behind his back. “I’m sorry it had to come to this, but I cannot listen to you doing that anymore. You’re gonna break something, either in you, or me.” “What are you ta-” He cuts Rei off with the duster right to his face. “Kahhh! Kazuki what the fuhhhhh- hUH-! What are you doing?”  “You seem set on suppressing them out of existence, and I’m putting a stop to it.” Rei tries to bring his hands up to push the duster away, but doing so just sends more dust and feather bits right at his face. Kazuki continues brushing his face with it, only stopping when Rei’s hitching turns into a desperate shaky inhale. “hhHEHH-! hH’ZZSCHH’OO-! HH’RUSHH’OO-! ESHH’OO-! hehH- RSHH’OO-TSHH’OO-! Hihhh… heH’TSHH’OO-!  Hehh! MMPFSHH’OO-! Hehh… hahh…. Hhh-!” “It’s okay Rei, let it all go. I don’t mind. You’re safe here.”  “Ahh… hehh…. hehH’MPFSHH-! Hehh! MPFSHH-!uhhh TSHHH-TSHH’OO-! hEHH! Kaaahhhhzz- haAH’ZZSCHH’OO! I can’t s- stooohh… stop-” Without thinking, Kazuki reaches over, prying away Rei’s hands that he’s stapled to his face, and pinches his nose shut. Rei lets out a soft moan as the sneezing finally dies down enough to let him catch his breath. They sit like that for a minute, until Kazuki realizes he’s still holding Rei’s nose, blushes, and lets go. “Bless you! See, isn’t that better?” Now it’s Rei’s turn to blush, taking the last of the tissues from the box next to him, and letting himself fully blow his nose before responding. “....yeah, it does feel better.” “I knew it! You should really listen to me more often, I’m quite brilliant. You people, you and Kyu, never appreciating my intelligence. You think you’re all that because you’re a tough assassin, practically perfect at it, raised by famous killers, but I’m just as smart you know! If not more so! I had to do it without all the training!” “It was effective training, but it wasn’t all good.” Kazuki pauses his victory dance, finally realizing what he had said.  “Sorry… I didn’t mean-” Rei cuts him off with a shrug, wiping his nose once more with the tissues before tossing them and picking his controller back up. Eyes still on the screen, he spoke again. “I wasn’t allowed weakness. I learned how to hide any sign of humanity, any ‘flaws’.” His tone is balanced, almost like he was reading a grocery list. Just stating facts. But there’s a pain swimming through his eyes that makes Kazuki’s mouth run dry. It’s almost like he can feel all the emotions trembling below the surface of Rei’s calmly annoyed mask, pounding on him from the inside, waiting for a crack so they can seep out. Kazuki wants to give them a way out. Give Rei a space to break down some of the walls his ‘Boss’ had built up in him. Maybe let him figure out how to show his humanity again, something that was so cruelly stolen from him. That’s what he wants, but he knows that’s not what either of them needs.  ‘What Rei needs is a space where he can keep the mask on without effort. That’s what he needs. That’s what both of us need. In this job, we can’t form attachments. We can’t let our masks slip, not even for a second. We need to be cold, collected, and calculating.’ And then, even though he tries not to, he lets his mind wander back to that same old place it always seems to end up. An umbrella floating through the street, the smell of smoke, the ringing in his ears… ‘We don’t get to have people get close to us. That just puts them in danger, and us in danger of losing them.’ “hEH’KSSHH’OO!”  A sneeze breaks him out of his spiralling thoughts, and as Kazuki’s eyes refocus, he realizes Rei is staring at him. “Heh, sorry, got a bit lost in thought there. Bless you.” “It’s fine. Thought you were gonna fall asleep standing up. Didn’t want to worry about you splitting your head open.” Kazuki laughs, and Rei lets a smile slip across his features for just a second, before the grimace of annoyance resets itself, and he turns his eyes back to his game. Kazuki feels a yawn slip out, and Rei directs a raised eyebrow at him. “Didn’t get a lot of sleep last night, I think I’m gonna take a quick catnap.” “Okay.” The answer is short, but he can see the slight flush on Rei’s cheeks as he thinks back to the reason Kazuki is so tired. “Nighty-night.” He shoots over his shoulder, heading upstairs to his room.  ~~~~~~~ The alarm goes off at twelve, just like he wanted it to, but Kazuki still fights the urge to throw the phone at the wall. Letting his head flop back against the pillow, he considers staying in bed all day, but these thoughts are quickly silenced when he hears a bout of harsh coughing from downstairs. Sighing a little, and letting a stray “hH’ISH’shiiew!” slip out as he pulls his jacket back on, Kazuki heads for the stairs, nearly falling down them at the sight waiting for him. Rei stands beside the door, putting on his shoes, holding a loose fist to his mouth as the coughs shake his whole frame.  “What in the ever-loving-fuck do you think you are doing?”  Rei jumps slightly, which is alarming in of itself since Kazuki wasn’t exactly being quiet as he came down the stairs. “Going out.” “Oh like hell you are! And just where are you planning to drag your sickly form to? Gotta go infect a supermarket? Why is it that the one time I actually want you to stay home all day, lazing around, you decide, ‘oh no, no, today is the first time in my life that I feel the unfightable urge to go outside!’ For the love of god Rei, the one time!” “I’m going to see Kyu. We dropped out of the job at the last minute because of me. He’s probably angry, and wehhh! hH’ZZCHH’OO-! we need to take a new one to make up for it.”  Kazuki blinks, staring at Rei, who for his part, is still putting his shoes on. “Bless you. I already took care of that.” “What?” “I told him that you were sick, and he brought the basket over. He said just not to let it happen again, he isn’t upset at us for bailing. Sickness isn’t exactly something you can help…”  Rei’s face was his normal calm annoyance, but something unreadable flashed in his eyes.  “Oh.” And then it hits Kazuki. This probably was new to him, the idea that being sick wasn’t a punishable offence. “Besides, with the state you’re in right now, I don’t want you in position and then blow it because you-” “heH’NNggxt-! hh’nnGT-! AH’KTNGTT-!uhhh” “-Took the words right out of my mouth. Bless you.” “I didn’t say anything.” “Shut up! You know what I mean- oh forget it. You just go lay down again, it’ll be time for more meds again soon. But for now, you should take some cough drops, that cough sounds pretty painful.”  “It’s nothing. My head is worse.” Kazuki feels his mouth drop open at the admission as Rei slowly bends down to take his shoes off again, leaving them in a pile on the floor ‘oh come on, really?’ before making his way back to the couch. Reaching over to pick up the shoes, Kazuki hears Rei sneeze again from behind him. “hH’NGT’ooo-! hEHK’TSHH’OO-!”  “Bless you!” He calls as he puts the shoes back next to the door, heading over to the basket of meds to get Rei’s next dose ready afterwards. “Snfff`- hehh.. hhH-! guhhh…”  Kazuki risks a glance over at Rei, noticing the way his hand is hovering slightly in front of his face, as if he’s waiting for one more. Reaching over into the basket, he grabs a box of tissues and tosses them onto the couch. “Blow your nose, it’ll help.” Rei obliges with an eye roll and sigh, rubbing his nose into the tissues for a moment before letting a harsh blow scrape out. Kazuki winces, making a mental note to buy more tissues next time he’s out. If- ‘okay fine, “when”’ he catches this, he’s gonna need them. “hH’ZSSCHH’OO-!” “Bless y-” “hAH’TSHH’OO-! RRSHH’OO-! heH’NNGXT-! Hehh… hH’MMTSHHH’OO-!uhhh… hhh… heHH-! Guhhh… hhH-! hhHDT-uhhhh…” “Christ, bless you again, and again. Are you al-” “HH’TSHH’OOO-! mmMPFFSHH’OO-! hEhH-uhhh…. Hhehh- hHH’ZZSCHH’OOO-!”  “Bless you! What the fuck Rei, why are you getting so much worse so fast?” Rei just gasps in response, ducking back into the tissues with a harsh triple that doesn’t even give him a breath in between. “hUH’ZSSHH-RSHHH-TSHH’OO-!” Kazuki doesn’t even give a blessing this time, his focus completely taken over by figuring out what’s going on. Even for Rei, this isn’t normal. Sneezing with a cold is one thing, sneezing with this level of viciousness for no reason is something completely different.  Racking his brain he tries to remember the last time, if ever, that he’s seen Rei this bad. Earlier he got a longer fit out of him with the duster, but even that wasn’t nearly as throat-scraping as this, and at least gave him time to collect his breath in between. “Kaahhhhzuki-! hUH’SCHHH’OO! RSHH-TSHHH-TSHHH-KSHHH’OO-! hEHH! hEH’ZZSCHH’OOO-!” Rei’s still desperately sneezing into the tissues, but the box fell off the couch during the commotion. Kazuki reaches to pick it up, and freezes at the sight staring back at him. ‘Lotion infused? Wait a second… Is Rei… Oh fuck-’  Kazuki throws the box on the floor, rushing to the bathroom and coming back with a toilet roll. Rei shoots him a frantic glance as he tears the tissues out of his hand, replacing them with a section of roll, which Rei quickly uses to blow his nose. Taking a desperate breath, letting another “hH’TSHH’OO-!” escape, and blowing his nose again, Rei finally manages to stop the fit. “You’re allergic to lotion!?” “What?” “The tissues dumbass, they’re lotion infused! Are you allergic to lotion?” “I guess so. I’m allergic to most perfumes, so I guess that would make sense.” “You’re what? You didn’t think to tell me this? That maybe I should know so, oh I don’t know, off the top of my head, so I don’t give you lotion infused tissues that nearly kill you? Maybe so that doesn’t happen!?” Rei just shrugs, burying his nose in the toilet roll again and letting another leftover sneeze scrape out of his throat. “HH’ZZSHH’OO-!uhhh” At the tired groan that follows, Kazuki manages to get a hold of himself. Taking a few deep breaths, he shoots Rei a dirty glare, before rubbing a hand down his face. “For future reference, telling me about things you’re allergic to is no longer optional.” “Okay.” Rei pauses for a minute, a harsh cough cutting him off before he can continue, and Kazuki hands him a water bottle from the coffee table. After taking a sip, and clearing his throat, Rei continues, voice noticeably softer, though not necessarily by choice. “Sorry. I didn’t think it was relevant.” The apology seems sincere, regret plainly painted across his face, so Kazuki offers him a gentle smile and playful punch to the arm. “I mean hey, it’s your nose that suffers after all.” Rei moans slightly at the reminder, lightly rubbing his nose against his palm, grumbling out, “It still itches.” Kazuki grabs the meds he was getting before, adding an antihistamine to the mix this time. “Yep. You’ll most likely be itchy for a while, but here, take these. I added an antihistamine, that should help kill the reaction a bit faster. The rest is for the cold.” A low groan is all he gets as an answer, but Rei swallows them, so he counts that as a win. “Maybe we’ll save the nasal spray for another time, I think right now it’ll just make you feel worse. They normally cause a few sneezes.” Rei’s eyes go wide as he nods, then immediately flinches at his head changing positions. “Still got a headache, hm?” This time Rei plays it safe with a verbal response. “Yeah. hAH’SHH’ooo-!”  “Bless you. At least they’re getting softer.” “Mm.”  Kazuki pauses, his mind drifting back to a time in his life that he simultaneously refuses to let himself think about, and can’t seem to ever stop. Back to holding her head in his lap, gently rubbing her neck and temples, back when she’d get migraines during pregnancy. “Do you get migraines?” “Yeah.” “I uh…” Kazuki raises a hand sheepishly to the back of his neck, turning his head slightly away from Rei’s eyes. “I might know something that could help.” He doesn’t get a response, but Rei is watching him intently, eyes studying his face. ‘Shit, he looks really cute like that- woah woah, no, what kinda thought is that?’ Quickly deciding that answering himself would be the easiest way to get Rei to stop giving him that look that seemed to set him on fire from the inside out, Kazuki heads to the kitchen. He fetches a washcloth from a drawer, running it under freezing water, ringing it out a bit, then letting himself drift down onto the couch. “It’s uh… It might be a bit awkward, but you lay your head in… uh…. In my lap, and then I just kinda-” Before he can finish, Rei has paused the game, and laid onto his back, his head resting on Kazuki’s legs. Both of them are stiff, the tension rising off of them enough to raise the heat in the room by several degrees. Without a word, Kazuki places the washcloth on the back of Rei’s neck, and lets his hands touch his hair, starting to run down towards Rei’s temples, pausing only when he flinches at the contact. “Alright?” “Yeah.” With that, he continued his gentle rub, a smile fighting through his control when Rei’s eyes snapped shut and a low moan escaped his lips. ‘His lips… they look so soft… I wonder what they taste like’ Before he knows it, Kazuki feels his own face start moving forward, longing to touch Rei’s lips with his own.  ‘Woah, okay, I’m definitely getting this illness, because I must have a fever. That’s the only explanation for why I just thought that!’ Kazuki rushes, heat starting to stain his face with a light pink tint, but thankfully for him, Rei remains none the wiser, his eyes still closed as he gently hums against the welcome touch. Slowly, he starts to drift off, until soon congested snoring fills the room once more. Kazuki lets his eyes linger on Rei’s lips just a moment longer than he should, before leaning back, and letting his own eyes flutter shut, their breathing quickly falling in sync.  ~~~~~~~ A harsh sound snaps Kazuki out of his sleep. Looking down at his lap he realizes Rei’s head isn’t there anymore, and when he turns his head he sees the man curled up on the edge of the couch, a harsh cough sputtering out of him. “Rei, are you okay?” A wheeze is all he gets in response, followed by deeper coughs that have him nearly falling off the couch. When his eyes find Rei’s, he feels the colour rush out of his face in response to the deep pale tint that Rei currently has. “Hey, okay, take it easy, shit- can you breathe?” Rei opens his mouth to reply, but the only sound that escapes is a faint whisper that seems to catch in his throat. His eyes are wide, panic practically seeping out of them, before he ducks back into his shoulder with another wet, rattling cough. The whistling sound when he tries to breathe answers the question for Kazuki. No, no he can’t. ‘Okay, fuck, don’t panic, think this through, what helps with coughing?’  Raising to his feet, Kazuki drapes Rei across his back, wincing at the way Rei tries with all the strength he has left to direct the onslaught of coughs away from him. Thanking god that the walk to the bathtub is short, Kazuki kicks the door closed behind them, setting Rei carefully on the ground. He then turns to the tub, turning the water as hot as it will go.  Rei gasps desperately, a harsh wheeze leaving tears in his eyes as he doubles over into himself with another round of harsh coughing. Kazuki can’t tell if the tears are from the rattling of the cough, or fear, and honestly he can’t decide which is worse. Finally, after a mere matter of minutes, but what felt like hours, the steam starts filling the bathroom. Rei is still coughing, but the whistling sound when he breathes is already starting to back down. ‘Or maybe that’s just wishful thinking’.  Kazuki lets the bathtub start to fill, walking over to where Rei is, and easing himself onto the ground next to him. He reaches out to rub Rei’s back, but pulls back when Rei flinches away, desperation overflowing in his eyes. They sit like that for a minute, both frozen, aside from the chesty cough still shaking Rei’s frail form, before slowly, Rei leans back into the touch, his watery eyes meeting Kazuki’s. Neither of them say anything, neither of them could if they wanted to. But they don’t need to. Kazuki looks into Rei’s eyes and knows what he means. ‘Your touch is allowed, just be gentle. I’m still learning how to feel safe with it.’ And in turn, Rei knows what the look he’s receiving means. ‘I know, I’ll be careful. Just let me help you.’  As the steam fills the room, Rei’s wheeze slowly starts to fade out, the cough loses some of its ferocity. Even so, Kazuki continues rubbing slow circles, and Rei doesn’t move away from the touch. Once the cough backs off enough for him to take a breath without any whistling, Kazuki stands, not missing the way Rei’s body trembles slightly when he removes his hand. “Come on, let's get you back to the couch, I’ll get you another dose of the cough syrup, and you should try to get some more rest. I have some work to do for a job Kyu asked me to finish up anyways, I’ll work on that while you sleep.” “Okay.” Rei’s voice is raw and harsh, and makes both of them grimace, so Kazuki reaches down and helps Rei stand, letting out a low hum as the other man winces at the movement. “Easy now, don’t go pulling anything. Carrying you is still a no from me, I’d like to keep my back intact.” There’s a faint hint of something that could be considered laughter from Rei, and given the state he’s in, and how expressive he normally is (ie. isn’t) it’s frankly impressive. Once they get back to the couch, Kazuki lets Rei lay down at his own pace, before getting him the cough syrup. Rei once again makes a face that reminds Kazuki of a child, but it’s better than not taking it. He stands and watches for a minute, making sure Rei’s able to drift off, before heading up to the office to finish the work he promised Kyu. Somewhere in his mind, a voice he shut in a box a long time ago starts screaming again, and he has to fight to ignore it. ‘This is love, you are in love!’  ~~~~~~~ “hH’SHH’UHH-!” A hoarse sneeze alerts Kazuki that his patient is awake again, pulling him out of the spiral his mind had chosen to wander down. Making his way downstairs, he’s relieved to see Rei sitting up, a lot more colour in his face. “How are you doing now? You gave me a bit of a scare. Ya know, for a smoker who seems to have remarkable tolerance to cigarettes, you sure have weak lungs!” Rei opens his mouth to answer, but all that comes out is a hoarse rush of air, followed by a deep, voiceless groan. A laugh escapes Kazuki’s lips before he can stop it, earning him a dark glare from the man sitting on the couch rubbing his throat. ‘This funny to you?’  Yet again, no words are needed for Kazuki to know exactly what Rei means. “Yes, in fact, it is pretty funny to me. You know that old saying, ‘your face will freeze that way’? Maybe this is the voice equivalent. You don’t use it enough, so it’s decided to just up and pack its bags!” Rei shoots him another glare, but this time there’s a hint of humour in it that he isn’t able to suppress. Kazuki winks at him, before checking the alarms he’d set on his phone for meds. “It’s gonna be another few hours before I can give you another dose of anything, so I think you’ll just have to put up with this for now.” “Well… at least… you’ll get… what you always… wanted… to talk without… interruption…”  The words are strained, and seem to scrape against his throat enough to make Kazuki audibly gasp. “Hey, woah, no no no. No more talking, not only is that extremely bad for you, but christ man, it sounds horrible. Don’t do that to yourself, you’re just gonna wreck something beyond repair.”  “Aren’t… you usually… on me… about not… talking enough…”  “Yeah but this is different! Seriously, it sounds painful. You should rest it, and drink some more water, try to give your throat a bit of a break.” Rei just nods this time, hand still lightly rubbing his throat, apparently done trying to fight his body on this particular matter. ‘Probably good, seeing as this is one fight he has no chance of winning. Only person skilled enough to take down Rei, is Rei’.  Kazuki sits down on the couch beside Rei, who had picked up the controller again, deciding to watch him play games for a while. Kazuki starts to feel a tickle form in his throat, and decides that denial is the best form of medication. ‘It’s probably just from hearing how bad Rei’s throat is, that’s all.’ He thinks, allowing himself to drift into the world of denial a little deeper. His thoughts are interrupted by… actually, he doesn’t know what by. There’s no actual noise, nothing has happened that should have brought him crashing back into the real world. Fully putting his gaze on Rei, Kazuki suddenly realizes what pulled him back in. “Bless you.” “heH’SHH’uhhh-!” Rei’s eyes meet his with a confused look. Kazuki just chuckles, letting himself indulge in a moment of pride for being able to read him that well. It started with a slight tremble around Rei’s eyes, followed by his nose twitching, and finally a slight gasp in his normal breathing. Patterns that Kazuki didn’t even realize he had memorized, and yet, it came so naturally to him.  While his gaze was already on Rei, he let himself look the man over. His shoulders were tight, like normal, but there was a slight shudder to them that made him reach over and drape a blanket over Rei’s legs. This time he got a low hum in response, reaffirming that he was correct on that assessment. Then there was his throat, which, while he wasn’t talking, was still slightly moving, almost as if he was swallowing constantly. Kazuki reaches over to his side of the couch where he had seen Rei place the water bottle earlier, and hands it to him, blushing a little at the look of pure confusion that met him once again. “You look like you need it… Am I wrong?” There’s no response, he didn’t expect one, but the way Rei’s hands loosen their grip on the controller after he drinks is all the answer Kazuki needs.  “Bless you.” “hH’SHH’uhhh-!”  “And again, and once more.” “hEH’SHH’uhhh-! Hehh-! hH’SHH’uhhh-!”  Rei gives him a withering look, but Kazuki just laughs it off, gently ruffling Rei’s hair, before pulling his hand back with a clearing of his throat. ‘Why did you do that?!” “So- uh- I have a bit more work to do upstairs. I’ll come back down when it-” Suddenly he pauses, a far away look glossing over his features, before snapping to the side with a-  “hih’ISHH’iew-! Tishh’iew-! hAH’ISHH’IEW-! Oh, bless me.”  Blushing slightly at the stare Rei points his direction, Kazuki gives a light shrug. “Don’t ask, I’m not sick, just a few sneezes, it can happen to anyone!” This time Rei definitely didn’t need words to convey his point, the eye roll said it all clearly.  ‘Whatever you say.’ Kazuki elects to ignore this one, settling instead for finishing his earlier sentence. “I’ll come back down when it’s time for you to take some more meds.” Rei nods, then gives Kazuki a look that nearly melts his entire being. The meaning of this one was also clear, and struck him right to his very core. ‘Thank you.’ “You’re welcome.” He whispers back, heading upstairs, and deciding he’ll attribute the fluttering in his chest to the cold. Better to admit that he’s catching an illness rather than the alternative… but the little voice inside him starts screaming once again: ‘You’re in love, you’re in love, you love him!’