#Best enchantments for crossbow

[notitlesapply]

Several Sentence Sunday (er Monday)

I didn't get a notification that I got tagged, so this is a day late. Thanks @tapemonkey21 for the tag!

Have something from my Knight Obi-Wan and totally not a Princess Cody for @codywanfirstkissbingo

Shab!” Cody cursed in his native tongue as he furiously fired crossbow bolts.

Obi-Wan has been sent to deal with a nest of vampires. The initial reports had vastly underestimated the number of undead they were to face. Apparently some of the vampires dabbled in necromancy, and a horde of skeletons were waiting for Obi-Wan and Cody along with a massive nest of vampires. A whole squad of knights would have been appropriate, but instead there was just Obi-Wan with only Cody and his crossbow as backup.

Cody had quickly picked up how to use the bow over his months of travel with Obi-Wan, but there were limits to how fast he could humanly load and fire the weapon. He did his best to make every shot count, aiming for the vampires’ hearts, but the bolts were just plain wood. At least Obi-Wan's sword was enchanted against the supernatural. Of course the dini’la jetti used the magic blade as an excuse for why he should take point on their fight with the undead while Cody took up a safer marksman’s perch in a tree. Nevermind that Obi-Wan had barely any more protection than Cody himself.

Obi-Wan was a phenomenal swordsman, strong in both offense and defense. His blade gleamed as he cut through the undead like butter. But Obi-Wan was only human, and a poorly armored one at that. He was taking quite a beating, blood visible on his pale skin and fatigue weighing his limbs as the battle continued.

‘Protective sigils,’ Cody thought furiously, mentally making a note of all the things he was going to buy Obi-Wan if they survived, ‘Spell Scrolls of Vigor and Endurance. A blessed shield covered in ancient runes. Kriffing beskar armor forged in dragon fire.’

It was a pipe dream, Cody knew. They rarely had enough money to share a room at an inn, let alone the magical arms and armor Cody wanted to clothe his knight in. If Cody had access to all the wealth and power he had before, such things would have been easy to get. Cody tried not to let the thought sting.

Open tags for whoever wants to join!

[enpr-ss]

WILD LIFE FINALE!!!

Wait it IS every wildcard? But just in sequence? Banana again. And finally the 3 grinches are clearly aligned. THE SNAILS!!! Is it every other wildcard card? Or only the useful ones? Ah back to his failed machine gun cross bow strategy. Randomized wild cards? ETHO GOT THE MACE ONE AGAIN LOOOOL. He simply cannot escape being breeze-coded. BigB is now the most important ally to have. Bdubs can’t beat the BigB allegations TRIVIABOT IS BACK!!! WITH CURRENT SESSION QUESTIONS! Omg. Time to see our players make an absolute fool of themselves again. Despairing over wasting time mining for diamonds last session LOL. Robot Tango again!!! Also this would help the shapeshifters maintain their disguise. THE TRIVIABOT JUST DIED IN FRONT OF THEM OH MY GOD!?!? His Minecraft body language is so communicative. Etho: “Honestly Tango: probably for the best, with the way things have been going”

Wait so the wild cards keep randomizing? And so the super powers with it??? This is going to be so chaotic. Also where’s Mumbo? Not Etho mistaking Ren for Martyn and giving him stuff LOL. Etho: “Somebody needs to blow up Joel’s car again” ETHO LOOOOOL THATS SO BRUTAL.

In which Etho’s Canadianness saves him from Scar's rollercoaster. And of course he forgot about his zombie powers. I’m sure his zombies has some words about that. Should have saved his enchanted leftover armor for his zombies lol. Etho: “You guys gotta hurry though cuz- *Skizz immediately dies in front of them*”

Whose snail is that? Do zombies get zombie snails too? Nooo the zombies…..

I bet BigB’s about to attempt to mace Etho as he answers the TriviaBot. Omg snails + triviabot is such a deadly combo. BIGB NOOOO NOT TO A SNAIL!!! BigB literally just died and Etho accidentally called Bdubs BigB.

OH MY GOD HIS TRAP AND BETRAYAL ACTUALLY WORKED!!!! NO WONDER THAT WAS HIS THUMBNAIL LOOOOOL. I guess that’s what happens when you try to corner Etho into picking your side AHAHAH. Yet another illegal yellow on yellow kill. AND THEN HIS SNAIL GOT HIM BECAUSE HE LITERALLY WALKED TOWARDS IT INSTANT KARMA OH MY GOD. I CANT IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHAT IS THIS NONSENSE.

Mount Gem is blowing and it’s all Etho’s fault. She’s no longer overlooking patheticness.

WHO WROTE THIS QUESTION!?!! I HAVE SOME WORDS FOR YOU!!!

Look at Etho really committing to the innocent pathetic tuff guy bit.

Wait who has the teleport? Was it Joel or Grian? And I think the other one is shapeshifter. THAT WAS SO CHAOTIC HE JUST KILLED IMPULSE OUT OF THE SERIES OMG. “Why is it not working?” BECAUSE IT’S A BAD STRATEGY AND YOU CANT AIM??? ALSO YOUR TARGET CAN TELEPORT LOL???? What a hilarious chaotic scrum. They truly can’t touch a warper. He’s just leading them around in circles. Grian’s screech as he got warped in was so good. Did the super speed just benched because it was too op??

lol what was that 1x1 pvp. ETHO GOT SCOTT OUT. OF ALL PEOPLE TO DO SO. THE TIMING. Finally the crossbow was useful. Even when Gem loses she stays winning.

Yep not answering trivia bot, lighting up the area, and staying aware and away from the snail was the smart gamer move.

I can’t believe of all people it’s the Tuff Guys who made it intact to the final 8. And Tango has answered every single trivia question wrong and got robo’ed AGAIN. How nice for everyone to congregate near the middle at the Tuff Guys base. Why is Etho standing underneath and around the RAILTRACKS. If Joel TNT minecarts you all, it’s so deserved. Repelling a trident with a windcharge is cool. HE BLEW HIMSELF UP AGAIN LOL. Only 1 successful trap in all the series. Hoisted by his own breezy petard. Pathetic Tuff Guy to the end.

I got spoiled a bit but I’m so glad that I predicted correctly. They went strip mining in the finale…. Ah all the wild cards are not as extreme. "CHILD LIFE" JOEL?!?! The anxiety cheetah allegations are back. He’s such a sucker for pathetic men / his wife and just giving them whatever they ask for and not being hostile to them. He’s speedbridging again. Of course he tries to use his op invis ability and immediately gets exposed because of a dog. Lizzie tries to blow him up via zombie Martyn and he’s like oooooh iron!

Joel: “Pretty sure it’s Jimmy he’s got mascot energy” What does that even mean??

That Ghast screeches were unholy. Not Gem helping Lizzie, and Joel immediately leaving the Gem-Pearl drama Etho nearly got Joel as well… and how does Joel just fall for his excuses and lies every single time. And Joel keeps rescuing his wife and Jimmy from dangerous mobs.

Of course Joel dies to Scott but at least Etho got Scott back. Even if it’s by accident. And of course Joel takes it as an alliance at face value. Etho got karma’ed by his snail AND HE GOT IMPULSE WITH THE INVIS SNAIL AS WELL!! The snails are on the family’s side. Joel stays winning. Lizzie and Jimmy going out together. Rip Joel.

Ah Etho thought it was a genuine attempt but they were just messing with him. And I’m sure there’s going to be so much angst about Lizzie going after Joel and he punching her into her creeper death. What a circus of them trying to get Joel. And Grian accidentally saved him with the warp. Then he sets up a creeper trap and accidentally nearly kills Gem LOL. And he’s so focused on trying to make a trap that Scott gets him. “no-YES!” And Joel accidentally triggering all the trapped chests that Gem set again (just like Secret Life finale)

TANGO NOT AGAIN!!!! REN LOL. Oof Grian.

Of course Joel goes to see if his first trap that he spent so much time and effort on would have worked. And of course it didn’t. Even when he wins he stays losing.

How fast they stop cheering.

Grian absolutely ripping Tuff Guys to shreds. And he’s just noping away from Ren’s angst but also contributing to it with the unnecessary elaboration. Look at him and Etho continuing their playful tone banter.

Grian, looking at Pearl and Impulse: “How have we all had the same idea?”

“You got Dumb and Dumber!” Guess Grian’s still mad at Mumbo and banned him LOL.

The snails!! Giving everyone heart attacks and killing everyone in a rampage. No wonder he was so anxious about not knowing where his snail was. Grian and Scar helping each other out A LOT.

Grian: “It was always going to be like this Jim.” Eret vibes. That was SO BRUTAL. But that’s the commitment Grian has. Hell hath no fury like a widow scorned. And it’s basically the same line he used on Mumbo too.

He finally did save Joel with a warp, even putting himself on the line! Pulled through from the last episode. It’s so tragic that Grian and Joel didn’t think to warp someone to their snail.

Grian ABSOLUTELY NOPING out of the death tower that claimed so many of his allies.

How has he missed every single shot??? He’s literally in the best position too. Grian dying by falling off a cliff where he and Scar based next to a tower ala 3rd Life!!! It’s always a finale cliff.

Seeing behind the scenes snippets is so cool! And the snails!!!

LOL. Something about counting sheep to fall asleep...

Classic Gem. It would be so cool if Gem did actually take out Lizzie because that’s Joel’s only weakness.

LOL

Gem coldly rejecting any attempts to beg with “well you killed me and also weren’t good friends”

Was the bee someone? Gem pulled out her sword at it and it immediately u-turned.

She’s not even using her speed just walking away from Pearl’s mace attempts. Scott watching in exasperation. “We can’t talk until I’m on red? You better work a little harder then.” The return of toxic yuri and pathetic Pearl. She likes red bloodthirsty pathetic Pearl the best?!?! What is wrong with the both of them. What does Gem even WANT?!?!? Being red together? Killing each other for real? Or wanting Pearl constantly obsessing over her, chasing after her death but also her affection? I’m sinking my teeth into this insane dynamic.

She really just snatched up those items from right on front of her snail! I was tense!!! TWICE!!!

She’s so proud of Etho for finally killing her. I’m surprised she didn’t engage with Pearl now that she’s on red. “I'm going to make it my life’s mission to kill Impulse” and then Impulse dies to the invis snail. Even when she loses she stays winning. She didn’t even put in the part where Etho got instant karma’d by his snail too.

I love her captions so much.

Gem yelling at incompetent players has to be a compilation somewhere. Her not feeling the need to get involved with the chaos because they will all self-destruct is very watcher lore of her.

Gem encouraging Pearl’s wet cat-ness continues!!!! We are so fed!!!!

SHE MADE BDUBS ETHO AND GRIANS SNAIL INVIS AHAHAHA.

She’s trying to be insane with Pearl but Joel keeps accidentally interrupting their moment LOL. The enthusiastic tone shift, the deliberate matchy clothing…

Oof the one time she answered the TriviaBot wrong (to be fair she might have misclicked or been punched or just under too much time pressure) The sped up time killing her AGAIN. Oof. But at least no one got her; the wild card did!!! And she had to really hammer in the point about roleplay to settle the drama lol. She played so well!!! Shame we didn’t see more insane dynamics; I was really excited for the angsty 1v1 with either Pearl or Joel. And Joel won!!!

THIS TITLE AND DESCRIPTION LOOOOOOOL

Of course Scott can twin into Pearl and Pearl got Gem's powers. The perfect selection for lore and soulmate / toxic yuri angst.

Ah man they missed an opportunity to trap the blocks around the creaking heart so that it instantly sets off a tnt minecart. A swarm of angry bees is mean LOL!!!

She has fond memories of murder camel!!! Of course it’s Scott as her murder buddy.

Gem cut out SO MUCH pathetic mace Pearl content LOL. Cleo Impulse and Pearl vs Gem and she still barely landed like 2 hits. Gem’s POV didn’t hear the part where Pearl said GEM said that they couldn’t talk until she was on red. The unreliable narrator is SO GOOD!! Pearl panting like an excited dog on her last wind charge targeting Joel!!!! Gem cut out the part where she implies that Pearl doesn’t actually want to kill her because she warned her about her snail. And when Gem compliments her she starts backing off because she’s suspicious. The excited dog panting AGAIN when Gem basically stood still until the last moment??? Gem: “Right under you...” This dynamic is EVERYTHING!!

The cry of rage when Impulse died.

The pathetic wet cat allegations cannot be beat. Especially when she accidentally hotgal’ed BigB instead of Joel. The sad resignation in her voice about being pathetic. Omg I just realized the Hotguy Comic Zine roleswap AU basically got canonized.

The universe is homophobic and refused to let their yuri be reconciled, tearing them apart at Pearl’s expense at every opportunity. Excellent timing from terrible trapper warper!Joel. Gem says she can’t control him literally at the same place where they bullied MurderBot!Pearl and said the same thing of “yeah he’s just harmless like that.”

She water bucketed Gem after Scott lava’d her! Didn’t capitalize on the weakness for the kill!! Her TriviaBot question was literally about Gem giving flowers to another person!!! She pearled away!!!! And she’s sad about Gem dying!!!!! IM SCREAMING

Pearl, desolate: “I’m so lost… I didn’t get to have the murder camel with Gem. Impulse died!! What do I do?” *sad music* THE TRAGEDY!!! The return of lonely Pearl!!!! “My heart has never been so broken before in the Life Series..”

Cleo and Pearl are Ren’s swords instead!!!!! Dogwarts symbolism increases. She got poisoned arrowed and fall damage from an ender pearl into the bamboo, by Grian??? Oof.

Tango got beep booped!! Running joyfully towards "free food" (cows) and immediately bravely fleeing with extra flee when they converted into hostile mobs. “That’s not free food!”

He’s really going through all the previous sessions again. Stealing bots in the EXACT same place. eSCARgone LOL. Doesn’t even know what his superpower is as he holds his refilling windcharges, with the full durability mace in the hotbar. Unparalleled powers of observation indeed.

How did the most tenuously held together team make it all the way to the final 8? And of course classic Tango got beep booped AGAIN. He has NOT answered a single one right.

Tango AGAIN WITH WINDCHARGE ON THE TOWER!!! ON HIS TEAMMATE NO LESS!!! AND THEN HE BLEW HIMSELF UP WITH A CREEPER AND JOEL’S JOKE ARROW SHOT KILLED HIM LOOOOOL. Dying as he lived: accidentally killing someone he wasn't supposed while making Tango noises. On brand hilariously lame final death. Legend!!

Bdubs unashamedly stealing everything just to please Etho LOL. Cannot beat the BigB allegations with the creaking superpower.

Bdubs, after getting a question wrong and taking it out on Pearl: “MAYBE YOU’D WATCH MY EPISODE AND GIVE ME SOME VIEWS AND AD REVENUE!!”

Bdubs being calmed by Gem’s chill farming in the middle of the finale LOL. It’s all about the building and relaxation vibes with him.

Love how the terminology went from robot to beep boop!! And Bdubs is yelling at Etho about his encroaching snail but all he hears is beep boop. There's got to be an airpods meme in there. And then he tries to kill Etho even before he got him mixed up with BigB. It's honestly such a miracle that these 3 made it to the final 8, as the last intact team even. WHAT IS THIS DEAD WIFE FLUFFY WHOLESOME BACKSTORY TEAM SOLIDARITY AGAINST ALL ODDS AND EXPECTATIONS FLASHBACK????? Bdubs ABSOLUTELY just baiting his audience LOL??? And then somehow Etho understanding Bdubs’ beep boop arrow communication????

Gem and Joel had NO IDEA Bdubs was trying to kill them the entire time LOL That was a smooth escape from Pearl and Ren’s TNT cobwebs

The earlier reference to Bdubs’ boogey kill on Tango from Last Life from Etho and then dying by Tango’s windcharge here!!!! Bdubs: “That’s poetic irony” INDEED

Of course the Tuff guys died as they lived: bumbling around, taking each other and themselves out of the series.

THE SHADE!!! OF COURSE IT'S CLEO WHO GOT THIS QUESTION LOL!!! Her final superpower of summoning ALL the zombies!!! On brand!!! Seeing the horde of zombies in their amazing skins just swarming Gem was AMAZING. She's getting karma'd from this series and Secret Life. She didn't turn to fight off Joel, but remained attacking Grian to protect Ren all the way to the end. Truly loyal!!!!

Of course Scott got the other shapeshifting one. Maybe it is allocated by red and yellow. Also it’s hilarious seeing little Scott riding giant Scott. Well he did get Joel before he died to Etho!

Impulse was actually in such a good position to set a trap for Gem and Joel but the INVIS SNAIL!!! His luck failed against Gem and Joel's.

BigB was the first to die to his snail, it was his first death, and it's fitting that it was his final death too. Also the swarm of angry bees was hilarious. His commitment to the weird gaslighting vibe is incredible.

Her Lichjesty Lizzie being the most competent by immediately setting traps, fixing the redstone of Scar’s rollercoaster, testing it twice (got the dog!), saving Scar from his snail, and being very efficient with her zombies. She spun and launched her bot LOL!!!

Lizzie: “I need you to bam me in the bunker.” Grian: “Sosorrywhat” *Jimmy and Grian pause and look at each other in shock* Jimmy: “Don’t tell Joel.” Efficient but why would she say it like that. That was a really awkward scene.

And immediately figured out how to use her dna copying superpower. Wait it wasn’t Tango who got the first mace kill? Mumbo then?

Lizzie: “Well I guess the Bamboozlers became the Bamlosers. First team eliminated. Leave a like to pay your respects.” SHE’S SO FUNNY OMG?!?!?! They all died at basically the same time! LIZZIE AS A ROBOT ZOMBIE TRYING TO KILL JOEL LOOOOOL

Of course Jimmy gets the bright idea to lead his ravager to Joel’s base and act pathetic to get rescued. And then get freaked out by NOT his snail.

Can’t actually believe Scar finished his rollercoaster, rode it and Grian made it happen. How interesting that they both independently came up with series-long minecart rides of death. Of course his rollercoaster of death never worked.

Not Scar being mad that Grian is stealing his hotguy brand and tridenting him. And Etho being too Canadian and Scar feeling bad about killing him so many times, thus saving him from the rollercoaster.

Honestly where did eSCARgo even come from? LORE?!?!?!? Of course he died immediately after being resurrected.

Martyn as a zombie is so good. The voice, the wit, the goonishness. Bdubs awkwardly watching the divorce of Zombie Martyn and Mutant Martren. That cobwebs on Bdubs and Joel was pretty cool.

The angsty robot voice going "Ow." "I did a bucket thing." and "At least I got a couple of swipes in." is utterly HILARIOUS. And he finished 3rd, just as he wanted in the beginning!

Skizz..... He was literally about to follow Scar to his death.

“The ending is yours… Make it WILD”. Can't wait for the fandom to lore this up. Especially with the red “yours”.

This series truly has been about chaotic dramatic ironic comedic timing. Bringing up past drama, thus causing even more divorces. Absolutely no notes; it's perfection. And the FANTASTIC production work by the dev team! Funniest Life series yet!! After listening to the Wild Life Recap on the Imp & Skizz Podcast: I truly can't believe that Martyn got the listener superpower by RANDOM. And that it wasn't sorted by red / yellow / green as well. It was also a surprise that the order of the finale overlapping wild cards wasn't random. It WASN'T a surprise that they all actually randomly put on their zombie skins to red herring us. But most of all, frankly I'm amazed at how fast the dev team got everything done on such tight deadline, with such polished work! Presentation truly is everything.

[p4ngilz]

Hii babe!! Omg I’ve been obsessed with your pajama pants book on wattpad for years I can’t believe I found your tumblr, ur my favourite Connor writer.

Anyway I figured I’d send an ask!! Maybe something with a daughter of Aphrodite reader? Could you do protective connor plss, I don’t rly mind the scenario whether it’s creepy guy or like in a battle or whatever.

Thanks so much!! 🩷🩷

HEYYY HII OMG thank u blushes kicks feet!!!

the damsel in distress trope is so outdated and children of aphrodite def have sparkly pink bejeweled weapons so this being set on the battlefield is crossed out of the list. also i dont like the ending but idk ??

edit: im sorry if this didnt meet your expectations of protective connor idk i feel like it's off or boring so feel free to ask for a redo or another one w this situation 😭😭😭😭 not sure if i interpreted ur req right but lmk if i did or if u have anything to say

wc: 1.7k words

contains: erm the general creep u meet while minding ur own business idfk that's literally it

"G'morning, beautiful." Connor smiles down at you as you wake up from your rest. How many hours was that? Three? Four? A few hours as your beauty rest was better than none, so you let that worry go and sucked it up.

"Morning, Connor," you replied, your voice as sweet and smooth as ever. Your resting place today was hidden between two dumpsters behind a convenience store. At first, the idea revolted all three of you on the quest, but the events that followed that night gave you no choice, and the smell would mask your scent from any monsters. Fortunately, you had your perfume balm on you, enchanted to last for days, so smearing the stuff under your noses was a big help to battle the stench of the dumpsters.

You laid a hand on your boyfriend's shoulder. "Feeling better?" After getting into a car crash last night, his body was probably sore. He pulled a muscle in his shoulder, too. His brother Travis was knocked unconscious, so after hauling him through streets, you two had no choice but to seek shelter somewhere hidden. You only found out, when the sun rose, that you were stationed behind a convenience store. Great. Those things were like playgrounds to the sons of Hermes.

Connor stood up and stretched, testing his shoulder. "Yes! Good as new. Man, I wish mortal stores had stuff flavored with something that tastes like ambrosia."

You gazed up at him, pleased with the state he was in now. "Glad to hear," you smiled.

"Wait, they do. I love salt and vinegar chips. Oh, man, I hope Travis finds some."

You wrinkled your nose, but at the mention of food, your stomach growled. Aside from doing your best to nurse the boys back to a decent state last night, you also took first watch. That, and exhausting all your fighting skills, left you hungry.

You rummaged in your bag for a bottle of water to start your day as Connor picked up his. There you found your plastic bag of half-finished ambrosia, a flask of nectar, your first aid kit, your last change of clean clothes, your hair clip that transformed into your celestial bronze crossbow with a beaded charm around the handle, a magic blow-drier for emergencies, and—there it was.

"Travis is inside. Let's go?" Connor held out a hand and helped you up from the ground, and the two of you walked into the convenience store. You caught a glimpse of Travis, but he didn't catch sight of you back. So instead you put your water back into your bag and headed for the bathroom.

There wasn't much work to do. Just a bit of dusting off your pants and a quick wash of your face and hands to feel clean. As always, you looked perfectly put together, roughed up but in a movie star way, thanks to being a daughter of Aphrodite. It was like those scratches and stray hairs framing your face were strategically placed by a personal makeup artist.

Zipping up your jacket in a way that complimented your figure and the rest of your outfit, you nudged the bathroom door closed with your foot on the way out. Neither of the boys were inside anymore. While you scanned the aisles for them, you felt a pair of eyes on you and turned towards the counter to see a toothy man wearing a puffer vest standing in line. "You lost, sweetheart?"

You didn't like how he looked you up and down. How you felt like you were being examined under his stare. You picked it up immediately, and it made your fists tighten. You simply shook your head, then made for the exit.

Travis and Connor were munching away at breakfast sandwiches and bagels. They handed you a sandwich of your choice and a bottle of yogurt drink and you ate it without complaint, the previous occurence quickly disappearing from your mind.

"Thanks," You mumbled, and then peeked into Travis's paper bag. It had even more sandwiches and snacks inside. Quickly, he wrapped them all up and stuffed them in his bag. "Snagged some extras on my way out." He grinned, satisfied with his work.

"Still headed for the next city hall, right?" He asked.

"Mhm." You took a folded up map out of your back pocket and opened it up. "There's a bus stop right there." You nodded in the general direction of the shed, tracing a manicured finger along the map.

You had to be honest, you were only doing that to look cool. Your dyslexia slowed you down in trying to look for your current location.

You followed Travis and Connor to the waiting shed, passing the map to the former. "Let me do that, love," Connor said as you sat down and began to open your yogurt drink. He took his seat beside you and opened your drink for you, passing it back along with a kiss. The gesture made your stomach flutter. No matter how many people would throw themselves at you and try to get your attention, nothing would ever beat the way Connor made you feel with his princess treatment.

However, your mood immediately soured when the guy from inside the convenience store appeared, sitting beside you and doing a little stretch. When he was done, he turned to you and smiled.

"You're a pretty one, you know that?"

The man's voice was gravelly and he sounded like he needed a drink. You kept your eyes on whatever you could stare at on the other side of the street. "Thank you," You replied.

"You here alone?"

"No," You replied, holding back the urge to grit your teeth. You started to tap your designer boots on the concrete, impatiently awaiting the bus.

"Hm. A doll like you shouldn't be here all by yourself."

You didn't reply. Internally, you gagged and made a face and cussed him out for having the audacity.

Connor tensed up beside you; you could feel it. You huffed and checked your nails, bored. Time seemed to go exceptionally slow while you were in this situation.

When you finally forced your head to turn to see why Connor was so pissed, you saw the guy literally ogling you, a smile on his face with dark eyes that seemed to bore into every bit of you they could find.

It was disgusting. You felt disgusting. Your skin crawled.

You crossed your arms over your torso and scowled, trying to seem as unappealing as possible. Desperate times call for desperate measures, or whatever the saying was. You put a hand on Connor's knee to reassure him that you could handle it, and switched on your meanest girl voice.

"Don't you know it's rude to stare?" You shot the guy your meanest girl glare. It worked, for a second, because the smile melted off his face.

Travis came along, pulling out a pouch where he kept fake ID's and documents in case you needed them. He settled beside Connor, who had draped an arm across your shoulders, and took off his sweater.

The man glanced up at him as he passed by, relentless with his questions. "Is that your boyfriend?"

"No, this is." You moved aside to show Connor. You didn't dare break eye contact with the man, you wanted to show that you weren't afraid.

The man's frown grew deeper. "Well!" He chuckled. "Lucky guy."

Connor cleared his throat beside you. You squeezed his knee, and as curious as you were to see how he looked (because he was hot when he was pissed) you flashed the creep your fakest smile, words laced with poison.

"Your mom never told you not to talk to strangers? It's dangerous, you know." He started to force a laugh, but you cut him off, continuing. "Stop talking, because I don't have any time to waste on you, dickhead."

There was a beat of silence as he processed your words. You cracked a smile and turned back to face the opposite side of the road, satisfied with yourself. But then you heard the rustle of that stupid puffer vest.

"Hey, now, sweetheart, don't be hard. You know, if you're here on vacation, I can tell you a few good places to visit, let me tell you—"

You had just settled your eyes back on your multiple bangles and bracelets when you heard a loud smack from where the man was sitting. Connor stood between you and him and your lips parted in surprise with how quick he was. His hand was raised and the man was clutching his own, face red and showing an expression of pain. You couldn't see Connor's face, since he had his back turned to you, but you could feel how tense the hand that was on your shoulder was.

The bus finally pulled over in front of you. Travis nudged you and Connor took your hand with a stiff one. "C'mon, Y/N, let's go," he said. You eagerly stood up, keeping his hand in yours, but he didn't move. Instead, he waited for the creep to board and when he did so, he looked over his shoulder to steal one last glance at you.

You raised up your middle finger at him, but to your surprise, Connor even gave him a shove further down the aisle as the two of you followed.

Connor and Travis made sure he was seated far, far back in the bus before settling into seats with you. Connor gave you the window seat and the three of you got comfortable, though Connor was still muttering curses under his breath. You sent Travis a thumbs up gesture when he looked at the two of you.

Connor didn't relax even after the bus set off, but he did kick his bag under the seat and take your hand back in his. He planted a kiss on your temple, then your hand. "You alright?"

You nodded. "Nothing I can't handle," You assured him. "Horrible morning, but it's fine."

"Bastard was about to touch you," He muttered, lips moving against the back of your hand. "No one touches my girl if she doesn't like it."

"Mhm." You gave his hand a squeeze back, just as you always do to let him know it's okay.

[herrenxenoberg]

Fandorm Showcase #10 - Beauty and the Beast

In comes our third faculty dorm, sponsor by the muscle-loving coach of NRC, Ashton Vargas, introducing...

Vargrove!

The name is obvious, a mix of Vargas (the surname of Coach Vargas) and grove (which is a small forest).

The dorm, sponsored by Coach Vargas, focuses on pure fitness and peak physical health (basically a huge gym). Every single student in this dorm are natural athletes and wants to strive further to be the best at sports. Because of Coach Vargas's constant "motivation", the students all favor over having peak athletic bodies for their entire life in Vargrove. (Yes, this whole dorm is a glorified group of sports jocks hyped on working out-)

"A dorm founded on the Heroic Hunter's spirit of bravery. Students in this dorm all strive to be the best by training all day and night to gain the perfect physique."

Requirements and Traits:

A natural athlete of various sports

Willing to push past limits to achieve greatness

Is a manly man Physically capable of body exercises

Here comes the dorm uniform designs:

This dorm uniform mostly took inspiration from your typical high school sports jocks, with the varsity jacket and everything, as well as color palettes taken from Gaston himself. The magic item is a crossbow that can shoot spells with the bolts enchanted with the dorm leader's magic.

Introducing our character roster up next:

No one's great as him, no one's strong as him, he's none other than...

Gilles Vargas! (Twisted off Live-Action Gaston)

Gilles Vargas is what you expect he is, being Coach Vargas's daughter youngest son out of his several kids, a sports junkie who wants nothing but pushing her his body to the absolute limits to get the body like her his father has, admiring him like her his personal idol. She He not only does this to herself himself, she he does this to the dorm members of Vargrove. As the dorm leader of Vargrove and Coach Vargas's understudy, she he wants to make sure her his fellow dorm members all share her his vision of becoming like her his father.

But somewhere deep down...Gilles can't help but wonder...is this really what she he wanted to do with his life? She He can't help but feel something lacking from her his life...

[SPOILERS AHEAD]

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Gilles was born a female when young in the Vargas household, but due to Ashton's "one-sided" attention span, she was ignored in favor of Vargas's first few sons, nobody to care for her since her mother divorced Vargas months after her birth. Gilles only ever wanted to earn her father's attention despite being a girl in a household with mostly boys, but it never came...then she made the ultimate decision after reaching the age of 12: Cover up traits that seemed feminine and lie to her father that she has gotten "a transition surgery" to become a male, which Vargas ACTUALLY believed it, thus giving Gilles the attention she wanted, at the cost of hiding her own identity from everyone.

Notable Members:

Ladro Fertet (Vice Housewarden, Sophomore) - An accident-prone boy who follows Gilles almost anywhere, always showering praises for how great Gilles is. (Twisted off LeFou)

Epine Rosa (Sophomore) - A quiet redhead who sits around and doing meditations instead of extreme activities, but he hides a very temperamental side. (Twisted off the enchanted rose)

Claudio Amour (Freshman) - The oldest of the Amour triplets who suffers from Congenital insensitivity to pain (CIP), which is a disorder that makes him unable to feel pain, but he is living in his own mind and doesn't care in the slightest. (Twisted off Claudette/Red Bimbette)

Leandro Amour (Freshman) - The middle child of the Amour triplets who is crippled due to an incident that he doesn't want to bring up, and the most caring one out of the three. (Twisted off Laurette/Orange Bimbette)

Phillo Amour (Freshman) - The youngest of the Amour triplets who suffers from scoliosis, but that doesn't deter him from wanting to do something to help both his brothers and their widowed mother. (Paulette/Green Bimbette)

Synopsis:

Another day, another boring routine in Night Raven College. Everything seems the same as usual but their lives are soon to become chaotic when Gilles Vargas from the Vargrove dorm started showing up and pridefully boasting to everyone he comes across of how great he is at everything. It seemed annoying at first, but there comes the inter-school Spelldrive tournament everyone is dreading for, and it's against RSA, their most hated rival school.

Vargrove is motivated to win the inter-school Spelldrive tournament by any means, even Gilles, who wanted to win so his father can be proud. But things go awry when a hazel-haired boy from RSA caught Gilles's attention, immediately having the desire to impress him. Chaos ensues between the two schools as they compete for first place.

Vargrove is one of the more controversial dorms I made so far because of the number of representations here. I wanted to make a Beauty and the Beast-inspired story chapter where instead of an actual beast, the "beast" is the insecurities of their own disabilities.

Last dorm of Season 1: The Princess and the Frog

[onegianthotmess]

As a callback to how Rapunzel was going to have a crossbow in the first draft of Tangled, I feel like Lucienne is a skilled archer and so is his mother.

I picture Lucienne having a custom bow that was crafted for him from ancient wood when he came of age as a family tradition. It’s unique to Lucienne and it’s incredibly ornate and is enchanted so that he’s the only one who can use it and only he can give permission to someone to use it. Think kind of like Odysseus and how he was the only one who could use his bow while the other suitors couldn’t even bend it during the challenge Penelope gave-

That being said, I do think Lucienne would teach Mealodie the basics of using a bow and let her use his bow. This isn’t only a way to spend time with her, but it’s also a show of complete trust since he’s letting her use something that is both one of a kind and that only he has the capability of using and she could very easily kill him with it.

It’s basically a subtle way of proposing or promising to marry someone in Lucienne’s family, so his mother is really happy when she walks by to find Lucienne standing behind and guiding Mealodie’s hands as she holds his bow and tries her best to shoot at the target Lucienne set up for her.

[dotchi18]

After some internal thought, eyes flicking to the Pixie's Parasol and the Bitter Oyster, ultimately your hand goes over the yellow rose.

Sonny was your best friend.

You had grown up together, and in the Deep Forest, having something of his with you was more important than some admittedly really cool mushrooms.

So you placed your hand before the rose, as if shielding it from the eyes of the many.

Leader's smile twisted a little, them and the Followers seemingly glancing at Psy, as if to see if they would be upset.

However, The Mushroom Merchant continued to rest their head on their hand, paused for a beat before shaking their head, lifting up their other hand as if in a shrug, " I suppose I can't stop you from your decision."

They waved a hand over the Rose you protected with your hand, " I suppose it must be important if you wish to keep it."

They squeezed their hand in a fist over it- as if to smother it- before dropping it, keeping their easy smile.

" It's fine. You need not pay me when you pick which crate you wish to harvest from.

All I ask of you is to visit on your way out of the Deep Forest."

Hesitant, you nod before they pulled away from the crate and strode back around to you and the other crates as you drop your hand.

It is there you notice that your Rose further bloomed, and the petals turned pure white, with the exception of the tips, which were deep red.

The Rosen Roses did that sometimes, change colors, so despite the semi-drastic change, you simply run a finger against the tips of it, feeling more assured than ever of your decision as a feeling of home and safety wash over you.

It is then you turn to the half ring of boxes.

You know for a fact that no matter what crate you choose from, you will find something that will help you.

tags: @abrokecupoftea, @one-really-annoying-tree-rat

[panda-wearing-pants]

Best Life Series episode #6

S1E6: Grian makes Pizza banners, Scar sets fire to the wool castle, Jimmy and Scott are caught by Cleo with Impulse's villagers, Grian sets up traps and a bunker in the desert, Scott and Jimmy's wall iss burnt down, they spend the session trying to find who it was, Joel takes down his banner, Etho is killed by Scar for sneaking around their base, the red army and pizza alliance have a standoff in the desert, Scar attempts to activate the TNT in the sandcastle, and nearly kills himself and Tango, Cleo dies during a battle on Dead Bush Hill

Goodtimeswithscar: Mistakes Were Made!

S2E6: Mumbo, Etho, Joel, Jimmy, Bdubs, and Scott are all chosen as boogeymen, Cleo, Scott and Pearl become Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss, Scar places TNT on the snow fort before Skizz and Bdubs convince Tango to give Scar a life, Grian, Mumbo and Martyn hide outside the snow fort while the boogeyman is chosen, and are discovered soon after, and Etho throws a potion of poison on the entire group (Southlands and B.E.S.T.), allowing Mumbo to boogey kill Bdubs, and Etho then boogey kills Mumbo, Tango gives Bdubs a life, Joel tries to trap Lizzie's house but gets blown up when Lizzie activates the observer, Bdubs boogey kills Tango, Joel returns to the shadow tower and kills Lizzie, Grian steals the skull from the tower, Scott attacks Impulse, but Impulse eats his enchanted apple and escapes, but is later pushed into a pit by Scott at the Southlands, Martyn gives Scar a Lifetime Hydration Crystal, Scar drowns in Scott's tower, Jimmy is blown up by Lizzie's trap, and he then boogey kills her with a pit in his exiled shack, Mumbo attacks Scott who dies from fall damage from an ender pearl

MumboJumbo: KILLING AND DYING

S3E6: Scott and Cleo secretly listen in on the reds' meeting, which Pearl is invited to despite being yellow, Scott and Cleo are discovered but escape, Joel kills Scott with a firework crossbow, the reds go to the ancient city to find Cleo and Martyn, Martyn gets shot by Scar, and dies when Cleo drowns trying to escape, Joel, Etho, Bdubs, and Impulse create an alliance, Joel and Etho go into the nether, but die to a trapped portal when they come out to help Impulse and Bdubs, Impulse and Bdubs escape the divorce quartet through a secret passage concealed by lava, Pearl kills Bdubs and Impulse, but Tilly is killed, Martyn turns on Scott once Bdubs and Impulse die, but Scott escapes, Martyn attacks Pearl, but she kills Cleo, Scott sacrifices himself to let Pearl win

Pearlescentmoon: Something Wicked This Way Comes

S4E6: Pearl and Cleo are replaced with Lizzie and Gem, Cleo decides that Scar is her favorite son,

<Smallishbeans> Grian

<Solidaritygaming> say yes or no

<Grian> yes

Smallishbeans fell from a high place

Solidaritygaming fell from a high place

Grian accidentally activates the pit trap in Froggy Tower, killing Jimmy and Pearl, Jimmy and Joel set up an enderporter and try to get kills, but fail and Joel dies when Grian activates the enderporter, Etho tries to trap the Clockers, but Scar kills him and discovers the trap, Etho then sets off the trap, but only kills himself, Martyn has a birthday party, but the Bad Boys drop TNT on the party, but no one dies, Scar starts a raid, and Grian nametags one of the ravagers "Grian", the ravager later kills Jimmy, Pearl sets up a trap for Grian as the boogey, but he is suspicious of it, so she punches him in and he dies to lava, Etho is invited to a family dinner, but Cleo kills him twice

Goodtimeswithscar: Unintentionally Destroying Etho

S5E6: Tango is replaced with Ren, Etho and Grian have to reroll their tasks, and must bring a wither and warden to spawn and make them fight, Mumbo goes with Grian to collect wither skulls, but ends up dying in lava, Joel hires Jimmy to assassinate Scott, Jimmy, Lizzie and Martyn all have Pearl do various things to damage non-reds, Scar, Bdubs and Impulse play multiple games of chicken, one causes Bdubs to die, Rengo makes deals in exchange for Decked Out Frozen Shards, Jimmy has a funeral, even though he is still alive, Lizzie is eliminated while trying to knock Scott of the end island, the Warden and Wither fight, eliminating Jimmy and Mumbo and killing Grian and BigB, Scott ends the session on half a heart

Grian: THE HARD TASK

[kisuminight]

I've been calling this the Blade System AU and mentioning that Blades have Soul Weapons, but I haven't actually talked about who has what weapon, have I?

For the purposes of this AU, and my sanity, we are going to say that Soul Weapons fall into the basic category of weapons or tools from Minecraft. As much fun as I would have with rapiers and halberds and warhammers, Minecraft doesn't really... support that? Basically, all swords are swords.

The types of weapons and tools that can be Soul Weapons are: Axe, Pickaxe, Shovel, Hoe, Sword, Mace, Fishing rod, Shears, Trident, Bow, Crossbow

Obviously, Blades that are dps tend towards actual weapons, Blades that are healers tend towards the tools, and Blades that are tanks go either/or, depending on whether they are a takes-strong-hits type of defense or debuff-into-oblivion type of defense. There are some exceptions, you can have a healer Blade that is a sword or axe, but they're rare. "Sword" Soul Weapons are the most common type.

I know that I said that the Resonance-based enchantment was Sharpness, but not all tools/weapons can have that type of enchantment. I will specify if the enchantment varies base on Soul Weapon type.

So, for our Blades. We'll put this under cut because it's getting long:

Dream (Light, healer) – he gets a fishing rod. Dream has been very inventive with uses of fishing rods before, especially in manhunts (which aren't quite cannon to this version of c!Dream, but eh). Since Soul Weapons are unbreakable, so Dream can also use it like a flexible rod or staff. The fishing line also becomes razor wire if he wills it to be, which makes it quite useful as a garrote (the razor mode has the Sharpness aspect). This has the added bonus of being able to tangle someone in the line for fun (a spar, just messing around) or tangle someone up as a threat (if you move you'll get sliced to ribbons). I feel that a fishing rod tool fits best because it can be used for survival but it can also be used to find treasures. And Dream tends to have good luck when he isn't planning to actively put himself in horrible situations, so he's got Luck of the Sea :)

Punz (Dark, dps) – a sword, plain and simple. c!Punz likes walking the line between being very much a threat and also being kind of background. Like, everyone knows who he is/what he does so they don't really look beneath the surface. In addition to the Sharpness, he gets Looting.

Technoblade (Earth, dps) – I waffled a bit over this one, but I want to say axe? Techno doesn't use his Soul Weapon much, so he went and made a real version of his Soul Weapon, which is the Axe of Peace (also this gives layers to why Techno wants it back and doesn't like other people having it). Unlike the Axe of Peace, Techno gets the Sharpness from Resonance and doesn't need Unbreaking or Mending on a Soul Weapon. He does still have Efficiency V. I did think about choosing pickaxe in honor of Techno maybe pulling out his Soul Weapon after the failed execution, but I think he'd be even more paranoid about letting anybody from L'Manberg's Butcher Army seeing it. Also a Blade with good Resonance basically has a strength potion effect 100% of the time anyway... Techno is way too OP in this AU, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Philza (Ice, dps) – If Minecraft had a scythe, it would be a scythe (for Death theming). But we're going with a bow. A melee weapon means you have to be up in someone's face to kill them. A bow? Much more impersonal (death doesn't discriminate). He would have Power as the Resonance enchantment. Since he can make his own arrows with ice magic, has functional Infinity. Since he is an Aegis, with multiple elements available, he can do Flame, too. In fact, if he's not careful, Flame + Ice Arrow can make temperature shock explosions (similar to a rocket) when he hits something and the magic mixes. Phil on a warpath is very much the joke of "I didn't ask how large the room was, I said I cast fireball!"

Skeppy (Air, dps) – he gets a mace! Lots of plunging attacks when you're an air Blade that can fly. Also, while I don't really think of Skeppy as absolutely tiny in this AU, he's still pretty small, especially in comparison to Bad? Like 5' 0". So theres a juxtaposition whenever he pulls his weapon and it's huge and heavy and he's just swinging it around like a regular Player would a sword. Since it's a Mace, he gets Density as his Resonance instead of Sharpness. As an air Blade, he also gets automatic Wind Burst III.

Slime (Lightning, tank) – also a sword. He gets Sweeping Edge, in honor of the QSMP egg lore. I'm sorry that there's not more details, but neither he nor Las Nevadas arc!Quackity seem to have specific, notable weapons. Even the stuff in Pandora's Vault was Q borrowing the Warden's set.

Callahan (Water, tank) – a trident, to take advantage of his nature as a water Blade. He has Impaling for Resonance (please note that when you are fighting a water blade, you/the opponent is always going to be wet). Also, Riptide. No Loyalty though, because that's a bit pointless when the Blade can just dismiss the Soul Weapon and re-summon it in their hand.

[mastcrmarksman]

For your crack enjoyment:

Stephen, in the autozone, muttering under his breath, ❝ He's CRINGE FAIL LOSER BOYFRIEND, but he's my cringe fail loser boyfriend. ❞

Meanwhile in another scene on the Sanctum Sitcom ⸻

Lucky is giving a head tilt while Bats agrees that the humans (and one demoness) have really lost it. From both dogs perspective, they were obviously the brightest and superiors of the household. Anton and Aleistr are snuggled up somewhere in Satana's belongings (simps the both of them). Wong is nowhere to be seen, but one can assume he's at the Bar with No Doors or anywhere he can have some semblance of sanity.

⸻ as the Sanctum has turned into a warzone.

Now Clint finds himself closer and closer to professing for how deeply he has fallen for Stephen Strange. It's one of those unlikely match-ups that wouldn't make the most sense to anyone in any universe they come from, but by some strange happenings the multiverse spat them out at each other.

However, the man must have a thing for testing Clint's patience and ability to behave (and not in the fun way). He thought he was an okay landlord, always felt like he hosted the best Avengers barbecues, and so by this logic; he should be good at having a house guest, a new temporary roommate.

He should, but did he? Well, when Stephen told him that Satana would be going to stay with them (he had to mentally whisper to himself; i love this man, i moved in to this man's house); it was not going as swimmingly as it theorically could be. Although, he was Hawkeye after all, and anyone who knows his true colors and reputation, would say that everything was going about as par for the course.

The one of the first issue with Satana was that she was annoying. She took up space, planted herself where Clint normally would plant himself. The demoness ate his food, HIS FOOD, and dumped out the chocolate milk that he kept the refrigerator (he needed that; it was strictly off limits for anyone else).

Satana and Clint were short of throwing literal hellfire and arrows at each other. A few throw pillows and shoes have been lost in several skirmish battles when either of them were in piss poor moods ready to torment the other.

An arguement was brewing as Clint's recently fell for one of Satana's tricks and is currently smelling of rotten eggs and sulfur. He's not happy about it.

Clint's already fumbled with enchanting Stephen over bad pick-up lines and now? He's not getting this smell out with one shower. So much for trying again tonight. He's definitely making his home on the couch (or he could go back to the bed-stuy apartment collecting dust).

He's definitely rigging up a crossbow to shoot putty at Satana later when she gets back from whatever it was Hell's most annoying heiress does. And maybe he'd add more of Stephen's shoes too to the ammo pile.

[writeious-hand]

Holding Out for a Hero: Part 2

Okay, so it seems people want more of this... I have ideas, but to be clear I am VERY BAD at updating and keeping up with a project. But I'll do my best. I have a job that is very demanding during the weekdays, so if there are updates they will be on the weekends.

No Beta, we die like men.

Xenk x Cleric!OC - angst, and mentions of a break-up/ghosting?

Alariel had almost forgotten what he looked like.

To any other, it would seem like he was unaffected by the passage of time. But she could see the barest touch of lines on his face, the slightest fade to the color of his hair. The age showed most in his eyes. He looked... tired.

Not like she should care.

Not like she didn't still care.

But she felt like all the progress she had made since he left went back down the drain as soon as their eyes met. Instead of being the mature eleth she had become, she was back to being the lovesick young girl who didn't know better. Who believed in the happily ever after once the knight and the princess go riding off into the sunset.

She allowed herself a moment. Just one before the walls she had been working on for so long came back up.

"Why are you here?" Her voice was as cold as steel.

"I have sworn to aid these people in getting rid of the threat of the Wizards of Thay. I didn't realize..." Xenk had started strong, but quickly lost his stoic confidence in seeing the moment of heartbreak lingering in her eyes. They continued staring, no words passing between them and the entire group felt tense.

Edgin started to speak but was almost immediately interrupted.

"Then I apologize, but I must be leaving. I am sure if you have him, you would not need help from a lowly knowledge cleric like myself." Alariel refused to speak his name again. It would be accepting that he was here, that he had returned to her and any memories she had of him were already working to the surface of her thoughts.

"But we need your help!" Edgin moved around to block her path away from them. "We need to kill these guys for good, and according to Xenk-" She practically flinched when Edgin said his name, "you are the only one that can do that type of magic."

"You need my help?" She responded to Edgin but was talking to Xenk.

"That's what he said." Hogla got elbowed by Kira.

"I just learned that there is some bad blood between you, but whatever this gentleman did I am sure was entirely a miscommunication. -"

"Oh yes, I'm sure breaking off our engagement and ending our courtship was just a miscommunication." Edgin took a step back from where he had almost reached out to grab her arm, realizing he had fucked up. "That leaving me behind with just a letter and his ring was just an honest mistake and telling me his love wasn't enough to make him stay was just an accident."

Even Doric hissed in pain at that one. Her words struck the paladin like crossbow bolts.

"No. While I understand the dangers the red wizards possess and wish you luck in your endeavors to put them to rest for good, I cannot... I will not put myself through the pain. I'm sorry, but I think it is high time I leave Loudwater. My mission here ended weeks ago. I will send a letter to my home temple in Cormyr, and ask them to grant you safety there, but I will promise nothing more."

Edgin let Alariel walk away after that.

She gathered her supplies and packed up her many journals and quills, the travel desk folding up along with her many quills and pens. Alariel was moving like she had been enchanted, it wasn't until she was shoving the fur blankets from her bedroll into her bag of holding that she realized she was even crying.

He had been distant the week before he left, at the same time closer than he normally allowed himself. Brushing the hair from her face, lingering hands after helping her onto her horse. But then she woke to a cold fire pit, and an empty chamber. Not that they had even shared a bed, the paladin took his vows much too seriously for that. But the other bed in the room didn't even look slept in.

She had found his ring on the dresser, and the letter tucked into her journal, in his pages.

Alariel,

By the time you are reading this, I will be far from you. That is assuming you sleep in to your normal hours. If you awake earlier, I ask you not to come after me.

It brings me no joy to write this letter, but I have realized something vital. This relationship is harmful to both of us and while I have enjoyed your company, I know my fate. So I leave you this ring, in hopes you will find someone who deserves it more than I do.

While I do not renounce my love for you, I do not wish to prolong your pain any further. It would be cruel of me. This was inevitable.

You have your mission and I have mine. We are pulled in opposite directions and it is my sincere wish that our paths will never cross again.

Xenk Yendar

And she had gone 100 years hearing nothing of her ex-fiance but rumors on the wind. She had heard he was around the Sword Coast but that had been decades ago and assumed he had moved on. She had tried to move on, but few respected her path and lifestyle, her journey of collecting the stories of the common folk and heroes alike. Those who did understand, their lives were fleeting compared to her own. It was inevitable heartbreak.

She wiped her tears. Now was not the time to fall apart. Alariel could be on the road by the evening, but she would at least take a day to say goodbye to the friends she would be leaving behind in Loudwater, like Zedroar and the children she taught the legends to. With any luck, she would never see Xenk Yendar again.

[alexglitches]

In Riddle's pre-overblot moments with him talking shit about Yue's mom AKA ender dragon and Yuan's dad aka XD, the things jus goes: Yue: … Yuan: …. Yue and Yuan: *equip with the best netherite armor and maxed out OP enchantments* Yue *picks up a netherite axe*: What the fuck did you say about my mom? *psycho smile* Yuan: Oh you chose death huh? *picks up a crossbow and firework rockets* Because nobody talks shit about my DAD and gets away with it, START PRAYING! FUCKING BRAT!

ahahahahahahaha

Riddle:

riddle would be lucky if he makes it out alive

[zmasters]

Knights of the Comet - A Baldur's Gate 3 Story

“It’s… difficult to travel through Limbo without a guide.” The pale yellow warrior sighed, explaining while she and her companions were late.

Two pale yellow guards snickered to each other, quickly silencing as their commanding officer glared at them. Despite all being of the same race, they weren’t all of the same culture. This outpost belonged to the githzerai, and their guests were githyanki. Well, one of them was.

Outside the walled outpost, a red dragon was perched on a small rock cropping. However, it was the figure standing next to the massive mount was what all the guard’s blades and crossbows were pointed at. A pale purple figure, hovering slightly above the ground and shining in the daylight from a coating of mucus. A set of tentacles slithered below a pair of wide, deep black eyes. In her clawed, black gauntlets sat a fancily designed arbalest, a crossbow once belonging to an old friend. On her left hip sat a shortsword, her right a curved dagger, each a crimson red. A final gift from her sister.

The entire outpost stood ready to attack, for she was one of their ancient enemies. In their tongue, she was Ghaik. In her current, metaphorical tongue, illithid. In her old tongue, the common tongue of her homeland, she was a mindflayer.

To her friends, she was Durge.

“Do you think Lae’zel is the best choice for this?” The dragon asked in draconic.

“It was either her or me, Zeita.” Durge telepathically replied in the same language, a remnant of her old life as a dragonborn.

“No, I mean that Prince Orpheus couldn’t take time out of his schedule to visit the ahem ‘God-King of the Githzerai, Zaerith Menyar-Ag-Gith’ himself. I feel like reuniting the entire Gith species is kinda important to put into the hands of someone not known to be a smooth talker. No offense.”

Durge ignored the dragon, her attention shifting to the treeline of the forest of purple trees that surrounded the outpost.

“It’s kinda ironic to ask for help from a God-King to kill a God-Queen, don’t ya think? How is this Manyar fella’ better than Valkith?”

“Silence Zeita. I’m working.”

“Smell something ranger? All I smell is gith.”

Durge crouched down, picking up a handful of dirt. As the multicolored dirt flowed between her fingers, it was picked up by the breeze. Drifting towards the outpost.

“It is gith, but not the outpost’s gith.” She loaded a bolt into her crossbow.

The guards stepped forward. As far as they knew, the strange mindflayer in front of them just ready its weapon for no apparent reason.

“Hold.”

The githzerai guards were in shock as the captain approached, Lae’zel in tow.

“If the so-called warning your pet ghaik gave you is true, then I’d consider guiding you to the Citadel.”

Lae’zel unsheathed her silver greatsword and stepped past the guards. “Prepare to see the best the heir of Mother Gith has to offer.”

“How can you and your prince trust a creature like that?”

The githyanki monk leered at the guard who whispered that. “I trust ​​zhak vo'n'fynh duj with my life.”

Durge took a deep breath, lining the sights of the crossbow. The world around her was unnervingly silent.

A silent crunch deafened all of Limbo. In a split second, Durge adjusted her aim and pulled the trigger. A fire red glowing bolt flew through the air and into the forest. It hit its target with a thud and their death cry. A split second passed, and the enchanted bolt exploded in a ball of fire.

“Vlaakith gha'g shkath zai!”

A volley of crossbow bolts were launched from the forest. Zeita the dragon took to the air as a hastily casted misty step teleported Durge to the gate of the outpost. She ducked behind the wall, loading her crossbow with a bolt Lae’zel has caught for her.

“You dragged the lich’s loyalist with you?” The captain screamed, helping pull an injured guard into cover.

“This would have happened to anyone Orpheus sent.” Durge messaged back. “Just be glad I caught it early.”

Loyalist githyanki used the wave of bolts as cover to charge from the forest, silver plate enchanted by the dreadful power of the Lich-Queen blocking both returning bolts and ki-empowered projectiles.

Durge fired a green glowing bolt, the splash of acid melting one charging warrior and slowing down two more. “Zeita, keep any of their dragons away from us.”

“On it!”

Lae’zel threw a dagger, the strength from the magically enchanted gauntlets stolen directly from the Hells sending it with enough force to break through the plate armor of the warrior. “Pull back your men. Let them come to us.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” The two knights hissed with glee.

The captain gave the order. “Fall back to inner defenses!”

“It’s been too long, my love.” Lae’zel sighed.

Durge crouched behind the outpost’s wall. “Bring it on.” She would have grinned if they could.

The first loyalist passed the breached, and he was greeted by a crimson dagger to the neck.

The next two entered the gate, Lae’zel leapt from her hiding place. A flying punch striked a gith in the helmet, disorientating them. Spinning on her heels, the knight of the comet used her silver greatsword to block attacks from the other warrior and an approaching third. A quick swing severed the hand of a loyalist, and a flurry of blows knocked the other to the ground.

The stunned loyalist felt their entire body vibrate. Within a split second, a burst of radiant energy exploded from their body, the blast killing the warrior who lost their hand and injuring the one on the ground.

The warrior on the ground struggled to their feet. They tasted blood and their vision was blurry, yet they still lived. They could still fight. Even if they die, they die for their God-Queen.

Slimy tentacles suddenly wrapped around their neck. Before the githyanki could struggle to breath, Durge’s knife burrowed into their skull.

A blast of black energy struck the corpse. The blast sent both Durge and Lae’zel flying back. The two landed with a thud, thankfully behind cover.

“Warlock…” Durge groaned.

“Come out here traitor!”

Two pairs of eye glanced passed the threshold. A lone githyanki woman, donned in dark silver armor and wielding a silver greatsword glowing with necrotic energy, stood ready. Her face was covered in a skull-esq mask, the eye sockets glowing a deep, dark green.

“Face me ghaik fucker!”

“Better than lich p-!”

“Durge.”

“Sorry.”

The warlock’s charisma save succeeded as she stumbled back in confusion from the… insult. “Vlaakith is the symbol of beauty!”

“How does it feel to be Tiamat’s sloppy second’s sloppy second!”

Lae’zel stifled a snort.

Charisma save succeeded. Barely.

“Crass cowards! Get out here!”

With a silent casting of misty step, the warlock was suddenly eye-to-eye with a mindflayer.

“Here I am.”

Charisma throw failed.

With a yelp, the warlock fell onto her ass.

“Hell of an assassin. Only the Lich-Queen’s best.”

Ticked off from the endless taunting from the ghaik, she raised her arm and fired an eldritch blast at point-blank range.

Time seemed to slow for Durge as the beam of black-green magic reached towards her tentacled face. She was having too much fun teasing with the warlock that she let her guard down.

She always loved playing with her food.

Gods, she was hungry.

Durge felt something hard slam into her back. Something had pushed her forward, down next to the warlock. As she fell, she slowly glanced back, to see what pushed her.

Lae’zel was behind her, having ran up and pushed her out of the way of the blast. The eldritch spear has instead struck her shoulder. It wasn't a killing blow, obviously, but it was strong enough to send her flying back.

Durge’s eyes met the warlock’s. She felt a rage, a hatred, a bloodlust that she hasn’t felt in months, and the gith knew it. She had hurt the mindflayer’s partner.

And she was so hungry.

The two misty stepped to their feet, the warlock unsheathing her greatsword and Durge dual wielding crimson shortswords.

Durge was faster on her feet, her blade striking the warlock’s hilt. The gith tried to parry the strike, but Durge’s off-hand blade nicked her exposed forearm.

She swung again, and Durge dodged and countered with two slices to the inner thigh.

The gith stumbled back. With a roar and a pray on her lips, she raised her greatsword and channeled arcane energies through the blade.

The ranger’s dual blades silently crossed. With a single slice, the greatsword was dropped to the ground. The gith’s hands reached for her neck, a desperate attempt to stop the bleeding. Blood dripped between her fingers and she drowned in her own blood. The mighty warlock will be dead in seconds.

But this wasn’t quick enough for Durge. Her tentacles wrapped around the gith’s head. She spent the past few months in the Astral Plane, a realm where time is at a stand still. A realm where a resident doesn’t feel hunger, and a mindflayer doesn’t need to succumb to their Dark Urge.

But Durge wasn’t in the Astral Plane. She was in Limbo, and she felt hunger.

The tentacles pulled the fearful gith closer and closer. With a loud crunch and gurgled screams, Durge’s beak broke through the warlock’s skull. With each bite into the soft, juicy brain, she felt a wave of pleasure. And with each wave of pleasure, a new memory was consumed.

The gith’s name was Tav.

She was from Crèche K'liir. The same crèche Lae’zel was from. They weren’t friends, or even knew each other much, but they grew up alongside each other.

She served a more spiritual role within the crèche. She was a priestess, a cleric. But like all githyanki, she was trained to fight and only wished to prove herself to her goddess by slaying a mindflayer.

Tav was on the same mission as Lae’zel was on when she was infected with the tadpole. Tav just barely escapes the grasp of the nautiloid. A mere centimeters, a few seconds, a single misstep from being infected. Potentially joining Durge and the others in destroying the Netherbrain. Maybe even joining Orpheus in his war against Vlaakith. Maybe, just maybe.

When the civil war broke out, Tav sided with the loyalists. Vlaakith was her god after all. Over the months since the Absolute was destroyed, and Orpheus, Lae’zel, and Durge left the Gate, she had risen through the ranks.

She had drawn Vlaakith’s favor, and was granted power from the Lich Queen, becoming one of her warlocks.

Tav was promised ascension if she completed one simple task. Slay the false prince’s pet ghaik. Kill Durge.

All of this could have been avoided.

Durge saw the blurry image of Lae’zel approach her before more memories began to form.

Things shifted and changed. This time, Tav was taken aboard the nautiloid. She was infected, just like Lae’zel, Shadowheart, Asterion, Gale, Wyll, and Karlach. She broke out of her pod, and with Lae’zel and Shadowheart’s help, escaped to that all too familiar beach.

A false copy of what Durge went through played in her mind. Some things were different. Tav fell for Minthara, that drow that tried to raid the Druid Grove. She was killed by Durge, and was a mere footnote in her story. But this time around, Tav joined the True Soul by accident, and later saved her in Moonrise Towers. Lae’zel instead slept with Asterion at the party with the tiefling refugees, but still sided with Orpheus. Shadowheart chose to end her parents’ suffering to ease her own curse. Asterion killed Cazador, but decided to put the spawn out of their misery instead of freeing them. Gale took the Crown of Krasus and ascended to godhood, Wyll became a duke, and Karlach became a mindflayer. And Durge, unknown by the group, was just a forgotten corpse of a dragonborn lying at the back of the Temple of Bhaal.

The retelling cuts when the party confronts the Netherbrain, with Orpheus and Karlach preparing the killing blow. Tav turns to Minthara. She nods.

“Durge!”

Durge was on her knees, blood coating her maw. She felt like she was crying. Could mindflayers cry? She didn’t know, nor care. “I-I’m sorry…”

“You don’t have to be.”

“I promised that I wou-”

Lae’zel wrapped her arms around Durge’s armored shoulders. “You don’t need to promise me anything. You never needed to promise me anything.”

“But I’m a monster.”

Lae’zel’s eye met Durge’s.

“You are used to the Dark Urges of monsters, and you are used to overcoming them. Be it Bhaal or the hunger of ghaik, you don’t have to worry about any of them. You are zhak vo'n'fynh duj, and you will forever be.”

“T-Thank you.”

[clarajohnson]

the magicians s2e3

eliot giving a real and that's what you missed on glee performance to start the episode

ta fucking da (i am in love with him)

rhinemann ultra is possibly my favorite spell name in this show. certainly the most memorable. i point at the screen when they say it.

lmao i forgot they didn't take care of the cursed thrones yet

if i had been abandoned in rural ren faire land with a spouse i didn't choose and my best friend and crush and crush's girlfriend returned with matching tattoos i would go crazy even without a cursed throne

oo-surpers... yoosurpers.

We're Fine :-l

god i hate to always be the one pointing out when these characters are hot but cursed throne quentin... is kind of hot

of course cursed throne alice is also hot but that's no different than any other alice

jesus you're acting like this is your first regicide

i forgot how often penny is on eccentric mega-personality genius babysitting duty

hiiiiiieeeee marina

she's literally the best i'm such a fan of her character this watch

I FORGOT MY BEST FRIEND HARVEY GUILLEN IS IN THIS !!!!!! BENEDICT I'M ALREADY SAD FOR YOU

i make maps, your majesty ??

be nicer to fen, penny, that's my (tumblr user han clarajohnson's) wife

a benevolent mommy who will solve my problems with her gaia problems? literally marina call me any time anyyyyyy time THE LEATHER SKIRT ARE YOU JOKING

i may truly skip the cupcake scene when it happens i'm already worried about it. it was genuinely my least favorite scene of the entire show last time.

you couldn't hit a fat girl with a fat-girl-seeking arrow... i like it but i don't love it

margo releasing her cacodemon that early is so crazy like without a curse i'm sure she never would've done it and it feels like the writers were just so enchanted by the concept they wanted to use it again. and then they like, didn't use it ever again lol?

you shot me, you cock !!!!!!!

ah yeah i will be skipping all the marina reynard stuff sorry

fen with a crossbow is very pleasing to me

sorry it's like 50% horniness and 50% i love how crazy this show is and what it lets all its characters do, you know?

what's best in life? to crush your enemies ??!!!! i love you cursed throne margo

is it wrong to say i find her death extremely satisfying WHAT DID SHE MEAN BY THAT

PLEASE the noise q makes when el extracts the syringe

alice being disturbed by feeling her cacodemon under her skin is so fun. high fantasy autistic texture aversion.

man it sucks skipping the marina reynard scenes because she's my best friend and wife of twenty years

love the cool dude magic music they use to really emphasize how fun tutting is

MARINA GET THE LEO BLADE DO IT DO ITTTTTT

once again alice is the most not-grown-up extremely mature child in the world tell me why she's about to save the entire fucking universe and she wants a sundae with gummy bears on top

all i can handle right now is a goddamn ice cream sundae !!!! this feels like a trap !!!!!

i remember hating q during this argument and i don't hate him now but it does still kill me that he thinks now is the time to have this conversation. also don't make alice cry quentin

idk how olivia taylor dudley does it but she has this wretched little about-to-cry voice that kills me every time

i have... befouled... the wellspring

god i so don't care for ember i find him unpleasant and unnecessarily grody but i do enjoy the weirdo wellspring twist

i, like the magicians writers, forgot that q incurs an injury for which he will lose an arm

to our pretty corpses :'-)

i love el and margo's casual intimacy they are the sweetest friends

in 2016 "full harry potter part seven slash eight" was still a funny joke. I Assume.

(everyone chanting) NIFFIN! NIFFIN! NIFFIN! NIFFIN! NIFFIN!

perhaps the most pathetic q has ever looked up until this point

if i had a nickel for every time a quinn child had niffined out...

can't not say it niffin alice is so scary hot

aw margo apologizing to alice is so sad once again this character has LAYERSSSSS

feels really revealing that q chose el and margo over alice idk

now i'm not going to say that between quentin and marina as characters i'd choose to change marina's death... but between marina and anyone else i'd choose marina

[orchid-151]

How would they all do in a fight, if they would get into a fight?

(Beings you didn't specify a number, I just used the main characters of the cast. If you feel like I didn't add everyone do let me know... Also this post is going to be long so that's why it's been cut 😅)

Let's start with Mason...

Mason, being one of the few Villagers who took the vow of peace, at first wouldn't have gotten involved with any fight... that is untill he had met Orchid. Seeing how hard she had fought to protect everyone who vowed not to fight, he broke his vow to protect her... as at the time she was weak from constantly being on the run. After his deal, he found that his new body was much stronger then his original body... allowing him to do his profession much more efficiently as well as strength to back up his goal of protecting his new sister.

Mason is build for power, not speed. But don't let that fool you in to thinking that he can't hit his target... he has taught himself how to fight in close quarters but if need be he usually resorts to his trusty hammer. His hammer is unique as it has enchantments on it normally reserved for tridents such as loyalty 3 or channeling... his special sledgehammer is also enchanted with mending and unbreaking three, so as it will last for a very long time.

The only time you will ever see Mason fight is if someone is threatening his sister, her boyfriend, her boyfriend's best friend, and anyone else he has formed a close relationship with...

Mason is highly likely to win a physical and mental fight as he trained himself to do so...

Next, Jay....

Jay grew up in a village that never did the 'vow of peace' so there was no need for him to be peaceful, but he was still taught to only be violent if his life or the lives of those closest to him we're threatened...

Jay normally only wears his hat if he is either doing his job as a librarian or is in the middle of conflict, as the hat provides extra defense for him as well as serves as a helmet (a poor helmet but a helmet nonetheless). He also prefers to take to the skies and attack from above... and thanks to encountering a couple of heroes, they offered him a set of their wings which he added mending and unbreaking three to it so as to have it for a very long time. He was also able to obtain a crossbow with a few of the best enchantments on it... And being a librarian he was able to learn mending and unbreaking 3 to enchant things with. In times of desperate measure he sometimes also has a shield with minding and unbreaking 3 on it in order to shield those in case he doesn't have his crossbow on him...

Much like Mason, Jay tends to stay peaceful until the lives closest to him are threatened, and much being in between Mason and Smith's intelligence he thinks about the situation, but sometimes acts first before thinking which tends to get him in trouble...

Jay can easily win a verbal fight but as for a physical fight it's a usual coin cost of 50/50...

Next is Smith...

Like Jay, Smith never took the 'vow of peace' but will stay peaceful unless his loved ones are threatened. Having a huge crush on Orchid, Smith will quickly throw himself into a fight if her honor or her life is threatened immediately, causing Mason to question if Smith is reliable to date his sister.

Being a Toolsmith, Smith is quick to is a special pickaxe/Axe tool he created for himself as his go-to weapon. Smith edition also has a shield similar to Jay's, and it's quick to bring it out in order to shield himself as he wields his unique ax. He's not as well trained as Mason but can be prone to also use his fists if in close combat, having fitted his gloves with some metal underneath in order to cause extra damage if need be...

Smith is on the far side of fighting smart as he will tend to do what his emotions tell him to do, which at one point resulted in him using himself as a shield protect Orchid... Which gave Mason second thoughts about Smith dating his sister. Smith has gotten a little bit better at remembering he has a shield that he can utilize though there are times in which he forgets to bring it out. Much like everybody else on this list, they stay peaceful unless provoked into a fight that involves the life of somebody he cares about... Unless you insult Orchid then he doesn't hold back.

Smith is not physically as capable as Mason, but if something he cares about is desperately on the line (like a typical anime hero) he might just come out on top...

On to Yumi...

Yumi is a peaceful villager but that doesn't mean she won't fight with her words. She is quick to anger and will not hesitate to use her words... There is a reason she is the village golem-maker...

Yumi does have a short fuse, but that doesn't mean she isn't compassionate towards those she forms a bond with. Yumi will only fight verbally if she feels someone was threatening those closest to her. But if need be she calls upon her golems to defend her and the village if they are being threatened...

Sorry to make it short but she's basically similar to how she is in ROTAI...

Depending on the fight situation, Yumi will more than likely win...

And speaking of Archie...

Archie is a peaceful Illager and is much more likely to use his brain more than his brawn. Being small, he is not able to fight or use magic, but luckily the heroes that saved him have been helping him and teaching him to defend himself. They have also given them high level items that they have improved themselves so that he is not completely helpless on their travels, such as a wooden totem to heal the team or an amulet that allows Three monsters to like him and fight on his behalf...

Archie is not fond of the amulet but will use it if in desperate measures. As for fights and conflicts he does his best to avoid them sometimes even hiding behind Yumi to keep from getting involved. On a rare occasion he will end up throwing a punch or two but due to his size it would more than likely result in him losing the fight...

Archie is more than likely to lose a fight if it is just him fighting...

And finally for this post Orchid...

Orchid is as peaceful as they come, detesting violence of any kind towards living beings and living creatures. But do not let that peacefulness fool you as she was taught how to hunt and to defend herself, thanks to Mason. She would never seek out conflict and would find ways to talk out of a fight... On rare occasions resulting in her having to defend herself.

She does have a netherite knife Smith and Mason made for her, but she rarely uses it. George the iron golem, Vex, and Allays take on the role of fighting on her behalf as long as she has enough magic to summon them (the Vex and Allays don't take but very little energy to summon, but George takes an enormous amount of energy to summon for a while...)...

As I said, Orchid does your best to avoid fights and conflicts and usually lets what people talking and say about her slide away easily... She will defend those who are closest to her by correcting others if they have said misinformation, she is very rarely prone to getting angry or frustrating but on the rare occasion if you catch her on a bad day she might just tell you off...

It is extremely, extremely rare that she would fight in a physical fight...

Orchid will normally lose a physical fight, however... (To answer this further would be going into spoiler territory... Just understand that in normal circumstances she would lose a fight and that it's extremely rare for her to win under normal circumstances.)

[spiritblossoming]

also here are the quiz descriptions for the OTHER uquiz except some of them are written from the perspective of some random reporter with access to google

Showmaker

Showmaker is simultaneously one of the biggest threats to international security and the most carefree, fun-loving person you will ever meet. Being both a skilled Summoner and an artificer, Showmaker crafts each of his cards by hand. When asked what his championship wish was, he simply replies, "I wished for more wishes!" The truthfulness of this statement is unknown.

Canyon

Widely renowned as one of the best Summoners in the world, Canyon is a force to be reckoned with as he shifts between beast and human as fluidly as water—water he now controls after conquering the Rift. His enchanted spear is the result of his and Showmaker's combined efforts after their embarrassing loss to G2 in 2019.

Scout

After living in the shadow of superstar Summoner Faker as his substitute, Scout managed to conquer the Rift in 2022 with EDG. He fights by draining energy from his enemies and converting it into magical bolts that do massive damage. Rumor has it that he never sleeps.

Meiko

Loyal and determined, Meiko serves as the support for EDG. He possesses the ability to heal people through physical contact with them, and can also induce happiness, energy and good dreams. Meiko is often referred to as the perfect support by his teammates, both in and out of battle.

Jiejie

At only twenty years old, Jiejie did what was thought to be near impossible: he defeated Canyon at the peak of Summoner's Rift using nothing but his blade and black mist. Sarcastic to the very end, he takes very few things seriously, except for his role as EDG's jungler. He is often referred to as the Third Prince of EDG.

Viper

Calm and collected, Viper serves as the marksman, or ADC, for EDG. He is often thought to be the strongest ADC in the world. Wielding five guns of moonlight as well as an inexplicable darkness, Viper strikes fast and hard, leaving his opponents no time to recover.

Teddy

Don't let his name fool you—Teddy is far from a pushover. A master of acrobatics and stealth magic, Teddy uses his crossbow to dispatch enemies with ease. He acts playfully for the most part, but never fails to be serious when the situation demands it.

Bjergsen

Bjergsen's years-long career came to a sudden halt in 2020, when a tragic accident resulted in the disappearance and presumed death of him and two of his teammates. However, it didn't take long for the star mid laner to literally turn back time, bringing himself back to life with the help of his enchanted pocket watch. Bjergsen: 1, Death: 0.

Spica

One of the only two surviving members of TSM 2020, Spica was the only one to remain with the team for next year. His control over shadows and mastery of the scythe help him to be one of the best junglers in all of North America, all without winning a single battle internationally.

Doublelift

The veteran Summoner known as Doublelift is the only member of TSM 2020 still missing as of 2022. His gun, which he designed and built himself, serves as an inspiration to a new generation of Summoners and rests at the foot of his monument in Los Angeles. At the feet of his statue lies an engraving of his most famous quote: "Everyone else is trash."

Keria

Although he's rather short and clumsy outside of battle, Keria is a force to be reckoned with. He is one of the few people in the world capable of adapting mostly defensive water magic to be able to heal. Many people consider him to be the best support in the world.

Gumayusi

With his support Keria at his side, there's (almost) nothing that Gumayusi can't do. His confidence is legendary in every region along with his sheer skill. Wielding a gun similar to Doublelift's, Gumayusi uses nets, traps and his near-perfect aim to secure a victory for his team.

Jojopyun

Jojopyun is the youngest Summoner to ever be crowned as a champion of North America at only 17 years old. He discovered his powers while streaming Fortnite on Twitch, accidentally cloning himself. Within 24 hours, he became an internet celebrity and was picked up by Evil Geniuses not long after that.

Danny

Danny is often regarded as one of the most promising talents North America has to offer. He carries a powerful secret: he is one of the first Summoners with his special brand of lightning magic, which he hopes to conceal from the world in order to have an advantage when he's ready to conquer it.

Ghost

It took him years of hard work and countless failures before he reached the top of the Summoner's Rift and achieved his dream. Ghost hides his face behind a mask and rarely speaks out loud, preferring to use his magic when possible. Although he seems incredibly cold, his teammates insist that he's a very different person when the mask is off.

Razork

With the power to summon both ice and lightning, Razork balances both to create a unique fighting style. He's full of energy and always has a joke or two at the ready no matter the situation. Although he's one of the best Summoners in Europe, he has yet to make a name for himself internationally.

Vulcan

Veteran Summoner and highly skilled support, Vulcan helps to lead the way for his young teammates in EG. He fights by controlling water, and, on very rare occasions, using his unnaturally long tongue. (Demonic deals have their side effects.)

Jankos

Although he's a world-class jungler, Jankos is best known for his tendencies to scream, make jokes, miss spears and flirt with his teammates. Famously lost to Canyon despite sharing the same powers and having beaten him last year. He works hard to lead his team to victory, one "zoning" spear at a time.

Rekkles

Handsome and outgoing, Rekkles is the golden boy of the European league—which makes it a surprise that he was rejected from all ten major guilds in 2022. He fought for Fnatic for nearly seven years before joining G2. Despite the high hopes for the new G2, he and his team ended up at the rank corresponding to his favorite number: fourth.

Biofrost

After TSM 2020's run on the Summoner's Rift ended in tragedy, Biofrost was thought to be dead. Although Bjergsen soon returned from death, it would take much longer for Biofrost to reappear in the land of the living. No one knows where he was, exactly, but there's new shadows to weigh him down no matter how bright his light shines.

Faker

Known as the Unkillable Demon King, Faker's very presence is enough to shake the heavens. There are very few people, living or dead, that are capable of matching Faker. He wields shadows like an extension of himself, bringing a swift defeat to his enemies with his razor-sharp blades. Faker is no normal Summoner—with the power accumulated from his three championship wishes, he is the closest thing to a god.

[thewingedbaron]

Quiet Moments: the Devil and the Shadow

SPOILERS FOR ACT ONE

As the companions bed down for the night, preparing to scout the goblin camp in the morning, Tav (pictured above) finds a quiet moment to reflect on all that has happened over the past three days.

Spoliers beyond this point for Wyll and Shadowheart's backstories.

Tav sat by the fire, meticulously cleaning each piece of her new crossbow. It was a heavy, comfortable weight across her knees, unlike the flimsy bow she had rescued from the illithid nautiloid. The arms of the bow were beautiful, gilded gold with matching designs that ran the length of the body, and swirled into the trigger lever. As Tav polished it, she could feel the crossbow’s enchantments humm under her fingertips. At the end of the stock, someone had carefully carved the name of the beautiful weapon. Harold. A strange name for a crossbow, but who was she to argue with someone who could craft such a wonderfully deadly instrument. She would have saved those caravan guards a dozen times over just to shoot the thing. Now, it was hers. 

But even she had to admit, polishing the beautiful weapon was merely a distraction. 

Camp had been quiet all night. Even Karlach’s seemingly boundless energy had been subdued after Wyll’s “visitor” had appeared earlier in the night. The Blade of Frontiers had disappeared some time ago now, stating that he needed some time to reflect on his choices, and his new visage. Tav hoped he was alright. Their companions had done their best to cheer him before he left, but it was impossible for mere words to soften the blow Wyll had suffered tonight. The man had been dragged through each of the Hells, one after another, and come back with horns. Tav knew personally what it was like to live as “devil-spawn”. She knew the suspicious looks Wyll would receive from all sides, the distrust in every stranger’s face. There was a reason she preferred the dangers of the wilds over crowded cities. 

The soft scuffle of feet drew Tav from her thoughts. She was surprised to find Karlach towering over her, looking for all the world like she was a schoolgirl about to be punished for throwing her chalk at someone’s head. 

“Um, hi soldier. H-has Wyll come back yet?” Karlach asked, her eyes meeting Tav’s. She saw discomfort there, but also a strange kind of determination. 

“I haven’t seen him.” Tav replied with what she hoped was a sympathetic smile. “Wyll has a lot to process, I doubt we’ll see him until the morning.” That’s what I would do. Tav thought. 

“Do you know which way he went? Since you’re a ranger and stuff, I figured you can track things so you might…” 

“He was headed over the rise, last I saw.” Tav nodded toward a small corps of trees atop a small hill overlooking their camp. “I don’t think he would have gone too far from camp.” 

“Thanks soldier,” Karlach nodded several times, as if confirming the thought in her head. Tav watched her go, stepping quickly toward the trees after Wyll. For a moment, Tav almost called her back, insisting upon letting Wyll have his space. But she discarded the notion. Wyll could use a friend right now. She thought. This could be good for both of them to work through, together. 

“So… Wyll made a deal with the devil.” 

Tav barely managed to suppress her flinch of surprise as Shadowheart seemed to materialize out of the darkness. Even for one trained in stealth, and with highly attuned senses, honed from years of hunting some of nature’s deadliest creatures, the half-elf was impossible to keep track of especially without her heavy chainmail. Although that was hardly surprising for a cleric of Shar, Tav reflected. 

“So he did.” Tav replied, trying her best to keep her voice even despite her racing heart. “Though he really doesn’t seem the type.” 

“Oh? Know many warlocks, do you?” Shadowheart teased, making Tav’s heart flutter for an entirely unrelated reason. “What sets our dear friend Wyll apart from the rest?” 

“I’ve known a couple.” Hunted a couple too. Tav did not voice the thought. “Most make their pacts looking to gain power for themselves. Authority over others and such. Wyll’s different. He seems like he uses his pact for the good of all. He had a good heart.” 

“Like you. A good heart I mean.” Shadowheart flushed slightly. “Why do you insist on helping both the druids and the tieflings? It seems to me like Zevlor already gave us the perfect solution. Slip a knife between the snake’s ribs and we can be on our way.” 

“Killing Kahga outright wouldn’t be much of a solution.” Tav’s brow furrowed. “If we stick a knife in her back to help the refugees, it would only brew more resentment among the sympathetic druids. Many who might have supported the tieflings in their plight will turn on them, blaming them for the death of one of their own.” Even if I want to kill her for threatening that child. Tav dismissed the thought. “It’s better that we find Halsin, let him get his grove in order, and we can see about breaking up the goblin camp along the way. If the road is clear, there’s no need for Zevlor’s people to stay. Then, there’s no need for bloodshed.”

“Careful, Tav. One might begin to think you’re scared of a little bloodshed.” Shadowheart laughed. Tav realized she quite liked the sound. 

“Not scared of it, no.” She replied, patting the crossbow in her lap. “I simply prefer it on my own terms. What about you, Shadowheart? If you keeping helping people, some might not think you’re not such a scary priestess of Shar.” 

Tav knew the words were wrong the moment they left her mouth. Immediately, Shadowheart’s face fell, the laughter in her eyes draining in a moment. 

“No, perhaps not.” She muttered. “Goodnight, Tav.” 

Tav nodded, silently kicking herself as Shadowheart stalked back to her tent. With a frustrated sigh, Tav’s gaze returned to the flames, and for a moment she considered throwing herself into them. Why did it have to be so hard to get a read on her half-elven companion? What was she doing wrong? 

Yet neither the crackling flames, nor the hooting of a hunting owl seemed to hold any answers for her as Tav settled down to sleep.