#ppau showmaker

[spiritblossoming]

alt ruination poster sketch that beat me up in a dark alleyway and stole my lunch money

heres a behind the scenes look for the tumblr gang

ok lemme... explain things (for the tumblr gang)

top row: sm faker bengi canyon

bottom: rookie viper guma deft jkl meiko zeus oner keria chovy

t1's designs have me fucking rolling u have faker in his sickass armor and then theres. guma who has a jacket. zeus who has a lightning bolt. oner. keria who has armor.

I FORGOT ROOKIES CAPE AJKBHKJWEBJKFSDBKJABHWEJKBSFNDJKHAJKEWSDJKFNJKAEWBDJSKHJKFHSDK anyway

oh ig you cant fucking see it but bengi's wearing faker's armor too because... yknow. hes copying duh

canyon has a braid bc..... sm would... braid his mane before battles... so its like a tribute haha kill me

i sketched each of these morons individually so i could theoretically paint them and then move them around for duo versions or wtv. insert shrek "like thats ever gonna happen" here.

its so funny the sentinels have their whole goon squad and then ruination gang is 5 mfs

im never finishing this on god

[aryasage]

set me on fire (so i can rise)

so fpx has been doing ridiculously well and deokdam beat ruler for the first time in his career and i sat down and vomited thirteen hundred words of brainrot onto the page. i had originally intended it for tumblr so i'm posting it here but it's theoretically long enough for me to post it as an actual fic so like. if anyone wants that let me know. no previous knowledge really needed and i'm too lazy to link stuff so just. here you go have fun

title is from fpx's phoenix because come on it was too perfect of a situation

(deokdam and viper are both aphelios, ruler is xayah, life is tahm kench, missing is thresh, flandre is graves, milkyway is kindred, none of the others really matter)

canon-typical violence under the cut but nothing graphic!

also don't yell at me about the moon formatting i already know i can't fix it ok

Deokdam has never beaten Ruler. He’s faced him more times than plenty of other AD carries, but each of their twelve matches has stayed in his head for longer than he’d like to admit. Maybe it’s that he’s the first world champion Deokdam ever faced. It’s hard to forget the feeling of barely even being able to stand in his presence, let alone put up a proper fight. But as the years went on, Deokdam’s losses to the other AD carry only got more and more depressing, and…well. He guesses it’s sort of a Thing by now. 

And so, even though he and his team have been doing far better than anyone expected, even beating TES and JackeyLove, Deokdam can’t help but feel apprehensive about their upcoming match. But…they’ve come this far by trusting each other. And so, as they start their warmups before the match, Deokdam taps Life on the shoulder. “You were his support for years,” he says quietly. “What’s his weakness?”

A sly smirk spreads across Life’s face, and he responds just as quietly. “He has a habit of overstepping. He’s overconfident. And it happens more often than you might think, especially now that he doesn’t have me anymore…”

Deokdam hesitantly returns his smile. “Thanks. I think I have an idea.”

☾

As Deokdam exchanges bows with Ruler, he keeps his eyes trained on the other AD carry, watching his every move. He steps forward first, just as Life predicted, and Deokdam can’t help but smile. Something feels different this time as he takes a step back, dodging Ruler’s first attack and beginning the dance back-and-forth, and Deokdam thinks he knows why. 

☾

“I think I’ve figured it out,” Viper says, his voice of moonlight so similar to Deokdam’s and yet nothing alike as he offers his hand to Deokdam, who takes it gratefully, allowing Viper to pull Deokdam to his feet.

“What, how to beat me? Because I’m pretty sure you figured that out a while ago,” Deokdam says, trying to pass it off as a joke, but his magical voice betrays his frustration. He’d accepted Viper’s request to spar over the offseason without a second thought, eager to practise both with his friend and someone with far more skill than him, but after the third day, Deokdam is just exhausted, and Viper absolutely destroying him every round isn’t exactly making him feel much better. 

“No, not that,” Viper says, sighing. “Let’s sit down. We should get water anyway.” Well, he’s right about one thing, at least. Even though it doesn’t do anything to put out the fire in his throat, Deokdam’s definitely dehydrated by now, and just the act of drinking it is refreshing. It also means he can avoid asking what Viper did mean for a bit, but eventually, his curiosity gets the better of him, and he asks Viper just that.

“Oh, right. Well, I think I figured out your problem. Fighting,” he quickly adds, evidently seeing Deokdam’s face and how he was about to say he has far more than one problem to worry about. “You think too much about yourself.”

The words hit him harder than any dose of noctum. Great. He already feels awful for drowning himself in self-pity practically all of last spring and half of summer, but it hurts even more coming from his friend. 

Viper frowns. “Wait, no, not—” He sighs. “I don’t mean that you’re selfish, Deokdam. Just that you get too much in your own head. You’re so focused on what you should do that you’re not paying enough attention to your opponent, so when I do something unexpected, you get caught completely off-guard.”

Oh. The tension eases from Deokdam’s shoulders somewhat. That…makes a lot more sense. 

“I used to have the opposite problem, actually,” Viper continues. “I was always so focused on what the enemy was doing that I forgot my teammates were there too. I didn’t trust them, and our coordination would always be slightly…off. I never really fixed it until…well. You’re a lot better at it than I am. You’ve always had much better synergy with your teams. So you don’t need to worry about that. What I do want you to worry about is your opponent.” He stands up with a smile. “One last round?”

Deokdam can’t help but return it, standing up and following him back to the sparring ring. “Sure.”

“Okay. I want you to keep your focus on me. Your instincts are good enough by now, but you trip yourself up. Don’t think about what you’re doing at all. Just trust yourself, and try to defeat me.”

☾

Just trust yourself. Your instincts are good enough. It’s not that Deokdam would ever say Viper was wrong in saying that, per se, but for the first time, Deokdam thinks he might have been right as he fires a shot at Ruler, clipping him in the shoulder and dodging away from the chains that Missing sends flying at him. 

Smoke begins to swirl around the battlefield, meaning Flandre must have taken out Xiaolaohu in his pocket realm, and if Showmaker hadn’t complained about it being completely unfair every other week in 2022, Deokdam would be realising just how annoying it is right about now. Thanks to Kellin, though, Deokdam has plenty of practice of fighting with irritating gases everywhere, and he can just barely make out the silhouette of Missing’s body right before he throws his hook at Deokdam, and he sidesteps it on instinct. Something grazes his side—one of Ruler’s razor-sharp feathers—but Deokdam hardly feels it thanks to the fire already burning in his veins. All it does is reveal Ruler’s position, and Deokdam fires another shot in his direction.

Ruler lets out a grunt of pain, but he must still think he has the advantage, what with the smoke everywhere, because he takes another step forward, obviously confident. Too confident, because now he’s close enough that Deokdam can see his figure through the smoke. He fires a shot at Ruler’s leg, trying to knock him off balance, and Ruler predictably launches himself into the air, flinging an array of feathers at Deokdam. But with his wings flapping to keep himself in the air, he’s blowing the smoke away, and Deokdam switches weapons, launching a gravity orb at Ruler and clenching his fist, pulling him down to earth. He thinks his legs are bleeding, but it doesn’t matter, not when he switches back to his first weapon, shooting Ruler right in the chest and eliminating him, a faint red mark glowing where his Guild’s magic protected him. 

With their AD carry gone, Deokdam and his teammates are able to make quick work of what remains of JD Guild, especially thanks to Milkyway’s arrows that Deokdam swears have homing magic on them. The rest of the match is a bit of a blur, but the ceremony afterwards stays clear in his mind. Flandre is just as good-natured as Deokdam remembers, and Yagao has a quiet smile even in defeat, but when Deokdam shakes Ruler’s hand, the other AD carry murmurs in Korean, “Well fought.” 

As he walks away, Deokdam catches a glimpse of himself, and if his heart weren’t already pounding out of his chest from the adrenaline rush, it would be now from the shock. Ruler’s glow given by the Rift might be powerful, but right now, Deokdam shines with a light far more important, moonlight gleaming brightly in an aura all around him. It doesn’t go away, even as Milkyway heals his wounds, and when they leave, Deokdam chances a look up at the sky. There, peeking through the stormy clouds, Deokdam can see Her light shining down from above for the first time since he came to China, and he can’t help but smile. 

Thank you, he thinks. I’ll use your gift even better than before.

[spiritblossoming]

daily fun but useless ppau fact #20

every time faker's third wish is hinted at (spoilers under cut for chapter 3 of "legendary (the stars will remember you)") (and for lots of other stuff)

someday both of us are leaving here

Gods above, Gumayusi thinks distantly as his support helps him to his feet. He’s so cute. I would literally kill for him.

“I think you just tried,” Faker says with that characteristic hint of amusement in his voice. Gumayusi blinks once. Twice.

“...Did I say that out loud?”

he did not, in fact, say that out loud.

look the fall in the eyes

Spirits. That was far too close for comfort. Keria manages to make eye contact with Faker as he begins to turn away. Please, he mentally pleads, unable to use his magical voice to convey the message. Protect them.

He has no way to hear Keria, but Faker seems to understand anyway, looking back at Keria with a whole storm of emotions in his eyes—determination, sorrow, regret, fear, and a thousand other things that Keria can’t decipher. I will, his eyes seem to say. Believe me, I will.

faker does hear him during this scene!

now you're coming at the king

Oner throws his hands in the air, causing some of the bandages around his wounds to slip. As Bengi hurriedly fixes them, Oner demands, “Why not? Don’t tell me you’re scared of him.” Faker gives him a look. “Then why are you so calm? Keria is—he’s gone!”

“He’s not,” Faker says, and the confidence in his tone has even Deft looking at him in surprise. 

and that's why faker's so confident. because he could literally hear keria plotting the entire last fic.

(don't) fear what you don't know

“You recognize them,” Faker says, his gaze piercing as he studies Showmaker’s reaction. Showmaker stifles a curse. Damn Faker for being so perceptive. 

“I never said that,” Showmaker scoffs, keenly aware of everyone’s eyes on him. He doesn’t even fool himself with the lie, and keeping his brave face on is nearly impossible under the weight of that stare. 

Faker could be Chovy with the way he’s practically reading his soul right now, Showmaker decides. “No, you didn’t,” Faker says easily, “but I’m right anyway.”

he's not even being perceptive he's just reading showmaker's mind (look one of his sons was stabbed he's past worrying about boundaries)

If what Showmaker gives Canyon is a Look, then what Faker’s giving him now is a LOOK. What is he trying to do, read his thoughts like some sort of demon? It would technically be on-brand. Listen, Demon King. It’s not nice to spy on other people without their permission, Showmaker thinks as aggressively as possible.

Faker doesn’t react. Showmaker isn’t sure if he’s disappointed or relieved.

i originally had faker turning away after showmaker... thinks at him, but i was worried it might be too obvious. i was going for a long con. but yeah showmaker does guess faker's wish here (but has no idea he's right)

in the end notes, i mention that i forgot to add a small moment to the chapter. said small moment was supposed to be faker asking showmaker "how did you know?" and showmaker thinking he was referring to something else. once again i thought it was too obvious so i cut it.

the sinful and the saviors

“I mean it, S—Faker.” There it is again, that uncharacteristic slip-up. Faker doesn’t need to read Bengi’s mind to know he’s telling the truth. He can see that much in his eyes.

haha get it? i literally said faker didn't need to read his mind haha

Just to be safe, Faker reaches out to touch a hand to Rookie’s shoulder. If he makes contact, he should be able to figure out what’s up with him. To his surprise, Rookie moves faster than the eye can see, batting his hand aside. He gives Faker a look, one that very clearly means don’t try that again.

Fine. Faker doesn’t need physical contact. He furrows his brow slightly as he channels his magic, determined to get to the bottom of this—

he's trying to read "rookie"'s mind here to make sure he's normal rookie. however keria lowkey knows that faker can do this by now, so he doesn't let him get that close.

change the game

"Gumayusi!" someone shouts, and the door is yanked open abruptly to reveal Faker, his eyes wide and one of the blades on his arm fully extended. "Are you oka— Keria?"

"How did you know?" Keria asks, wincing immediately as the words come out of his mouth in Gumayusi's voice. Some small part of him that still retains its common sense can think of a few different reasons Faker might be able to tell, but seeing as Keria is in a state of sheer what the fuck at the moment, that part of him goes unnoticed.

Faker shrugs, blade retracting until it’s hidden in his sleeve again. “It felt like you.”

(he literally read his brainwaves that's how he knew)

(and keria knows his wish he totally knows it so that's why he goes wait there are def reasons faker knew)

what are you willing to lose

Faker just stares him down, half to be intimidating and half because he has nothing to say. He reaches out with his magic again, this time to Deadeye, but he can’t get a good read on him. That alone has him tensing up, ready to unsheathe his blades at a moment’s notice.

he's just trying to read his mind here

Faker digs his blade into Deadeye’s neck just enough to draw blood. “What are you talking about?” he demands. Finally close enough for his magic to do its work, Faker starts to try to get a good read on Deadeye’s magic.

same thing

As he says it, Faker’s heart drops. His magic retreats, coming back to him with one clear conclusion. This isn’t Deadeye.

faker then realizes this fake deadeye has no thoughts. like me fr.

He’s not one to pray, but Zeus turns his eyes up to the sky anyway. Faker, if you can hear me, we need you. Help us, please.

once again faker hears this! he's 2 for 2 on this typa thing

He doesn’t have to read Showmaker’s mind to know his answer. One look at the strange emotion in the other mid laner’s eyes, something between shame and pity, tells Faker enough. Showmaker looks away. “I’m not sure.”

DO YOU GET IT?????? HE DOESN'T HAVE TO READ HIS MIND HAHA I SAID IT (im losing my mind)

ok that's all... for now. i swear ill post soon. jk i wont swear. but i have some things that should be ready.

[spiritblossoming]

daily fun but useless ppau fact #18

today i will be counting which fics mention showmaker and which do not. because well. hes my favorite. and it shows.

think you're dreaming of greatness: showmaker

it's time for a new empire: no showmaker

one day you'll wish you hadn't: showmaker

counting failures (you can't let them go): no showmaker

let the shadows take hold: no showmaker

the light we share: no showmaker

gone in a flash before our time: no showmaker

someday both of us are leaving here: showmaker

there's no crown for losing: showmaker

every time I close my eyes (a little less of you remains): no showmaker

brute force and style combine: showmaker

run away from the faith: no showmaker

those you left behind: showmaker

now I'll never be the same: showmaker

let us savor the pain: no showmaker

look the fall in the eyes: no showmaker

where the hunters get hunted: no showmaker

now you're coming at the king: showmaker

fire in our blood (but we're still cold-hearted): showmaker

the ones that are voiceless: showmaker

(don't) fear what you don't know: showmaker

we'll take up arms, we'll make amends here: showmaker

take to the skies: showmaker

the sinful and the saviors: showmaker

change the game: showmaker

a heart full of fire: showmaker

what are you willing to lose: showmaker

pray for glory: showmaker

rise up and sing: no showmaker

legendary (the stars will remember you): no showmaker

that is 11 no showmaker fics and 19 showmaker fics. in case you were wondering, showmaker is mentioned roughly 900 times. i need you to know that in the fic i'm working on rn i have had to keep myself from mentioning showmaker 3 times already. we are so cooked

[spiritblossoming]

my teacher: ok for this assignment you can paint whatever you want

me: ok liv. don't do ppau. don't do ppau. don't do— *does ppau*

i guess it hardly comes as a surprise that i drew showmaker... i've had the sketch for a WHILE so i figured i might as well see it through to the end. shoutout to me from 5 months ago for the sketch.

funny story, this damn file was 200 mb. my ipad would actually stutter loading it. i've never had that happen since i got this ipad so that was WILD.

and yes the cards did make me regret my life choices thanks for asking

maybe i color sometime

[spiritblossoming]

also here are the quiz descriptions for the OTHER uquiz except some of them are written from the perspective of some random reporter with access to google

Showmaker

Showmaker is simultaneously one of the biggest threats to international security and the most carefree, fun-loving person you will ever meet. Being both a skilled Summoner and an artificer, Showmaker crafts each of his cards by hand. When asked what his championship wish was, he simply replies, "I wished for more wishes!" The truthfulness of this statement is unknown.

Canyon

Widely renowned as one of the best Summoners in the world, Canyon is a force to be reckoned with as he shifts between beast and human as fluidly as water—water he now controls after conquering the Rift. His enchanted spear is the result of his and Showmaker's combined efforts after their embarrassing loss to G2 in 2019.

Scout

After living in the shadow of superstar Summoner Faker as his substitute, Scout managed to conquer the Rift in 2022 with EDG. He fights by draining energy from his enemies and converting it into magical bolts that do massive damage. Rumor has it that he never sleeps.

Meiko

Loyal and determined, Meiko serves as the support for EDG. He possesses the ability to heal people through physical contact with them, and can also induce happiness, energy and good dreams. Meiko is often referred to as the perfect support by his teammates, both in and out of battle.

Jiejie

At only twenty years old, Jiejie did what was thought to be near impossible: he defeated Canyon at the peak of Summoner's Rift using nothing but his blade and black mist. Sarcastic to the very end, he takes very few things seriously, except for his role as EDG's jungler. He is often referred to as the Third Prince of EDG.

Viper

Calm and collected, Viper serves as the marksman, or ADC, for EDG. He is often thought to be the strongest ADC in the world. Wielding five guns of moonlight as well as an inexplicable darkness, Viper strikes fast and hard, leaving his opponents no time to recover.

Teddy

Don't let his name fool you—Teddy is far from a pushover. A master of acrobatics and stealth magic, Teddy uses his crossbow to dispatch enemies with ease. He acts playfully for the most part, but never fails to be serious when the situation demands it.

Bjergsen

Bjergsen's years-long career came to a sudden halt in 2020, when a tragic accident resulted in the disappearance and presumed death of him and two of his teammates. However, it didn't take long for the star mid laner to literally turn back time, bringing himself back to life with the help of his enchanted pocket watch. Bjergsen: 1, Death: 0.

Spica

One of the only two surviving members of TSM 2020, Spica was the only one to remain with the team for next year. His control over shadows and mastery of the scythe help him to be one of the best junglers in all of North America, all without winning a single battle internationally.

Doublelift

The veteran Summoner known as Doublelift is the only member of TSM 2020 still missing as of 2022. His gun, which he designed and built himself, serves as an inspiration to a new generation of Summoners and rests at the foot of his monument in Los Angeles. At the feet of his statue lies an engraving of his most famous quote: "Everyone else is trash."

Keria

Although he's rather short and clumsy outside of battle, Keria is a force to be reckoned with. He is one of the few people in the world capable of adapting mostly defensive water magic to be able to heal. Many people consider him to be the best support in the world.

Gumayusi

With his support Keria at his side, there's (almost) nothing that Gumayusi can't do. His confidence is legendary in every region along with his sheer skill. Wielding a gun similar to Doublelift's, Gumayusi uses nets, traps and his near-perfect aim to secure a victory for his team.

Jojopyun

Jojopyun is the youngest Summoner to ever be crowned as a champion of North America at only 17 years old. He discovered his powers while streaming Fortnite on Twitch, accidentally cloning himself. Within 24 hours, he became an internet celebrity and was picked up by Evil Geniuses not long after that.

Danny

Danny is often regarded as one of the most promising talents North America has to offer. He carries a powerful secret: he is one of the first Summoners with his special brand of lightning magic, which he hopes to conceal from the world in order to have an advantage when he's ready to conquer it.

Ghost

It took him years of hard work and countless failures before he reached the top of the Summoner's Rift and achieved his dream. Ghost hides his face behind a mask and rarely speaks out loud, preferring to use his magic when possible. Although he seems incredibly cold, his teammates insist that he's a very different person when the mask is off.

Razork

With the power to summon both ice and lightning, Razork balances both to create a unique fighting style. He's full of energy and always has a joke or two at the ready no matter the situation. Although he's one of the best Summoners in Europe, he has yet to make a name for himself internationally.

Vulcan

Veteran Summoner and highly skilled support, Vulcan helps to lead the way for his young teammates in EG. He fights by controlling water, and, on very rare occasions, using his unnaturally long tongue. (Demonic deals have their side effects.)

Jankos

Although he's a world-class jungler, Jankos is best known for his tendencies to scream, make jokes, miss spears and flirt with his teammates. Famously lost to Canyon despite sharing the same powers and having beaten him last year. He works hard to lead his team to victory, one "zoning" spear at a time.

Rekkles

Handsome and outgoing, Rekkles is the golden boy of the European league—which makes it a surprise that he was rejected from all ten major guilds in 2022. He fought for Fnatic for nearly seven years before joining G2. Despite the high hopes for the new G2, he and his team ended up at the rank corresponding to his favorite number: fourth.

Biofrost

After TSM 2020's run on the Summoner's Rift ended in tragedy, Biofrost was thought to be dead. Although Bjergsen soon returned from death, it would take much longer for Biofrost to reappear in the land of the living. No one knows where he was, exactly, but there's new shadows to weigh him down no matter how bright his light shines.

Faker

Known as the Unkillable Demon King, Faker's very presence is enough to shake the heavens. There are very few people, living or dead, that are capable of matching Faker. He wields shadows like an extension of himself, bringing a swift defeat to his enemies with his razor-sharp blades. Faker is no normal Summoner—with the power accumulated from his three championship wishes, he is the closest thing to a god.

[aryasage]

straining to reach the light

in which i finally got around to finishing that deokdam angst

gooooo read it here (or yk click the big words with the title that works too)

this one's been sitting around for uh. well actually i don't wanna talk about it. life happened. i'm back now. for how long? no idea. we'll see. comments feed my ego and motivation though so if you want me to write more feel free to leave me one (or don't. you can make me cry too that's fine)

ruination might be over but the pain sure isn't :)

[aryasage]

what's that? a finished fic? in ppau? MORE LIKELY THAN YOU THINK

@livikattt and aryasage are proud to present we’ll take up arms, we’ll make amends here, a fic detailing just how much of an idiot scout is (you know, in case you didn't know that already), and how he makes up for it, featuring showmaker and meiko, crack, and fluff! (in more ways than one)

thank you as always to liv for writing with me <3

[spiritblossoming]

correct quote found in dms with arya

deft: g2 lost their jungler

canyon: im ngl that might be a good thing for them

sm: no no they dropped jankos already he means the new guy

canyon:

canyon: oh damn that sucks

[aryasage]

hi yes hello i am in fact alive

and have things for you to read!

nothing really breaks if i got you is the aftermath of worlds 2021, but from the losers' perspective. specifically, showmaker's. mainly an excuse to make liv suffer. i mean, really…what's a better gift than Pain? ;)

there's a part of myself i'm missing is set during the ruination. specifically, right after ninbts, where viper is still chilling at dk base and an old friend shows up. mostly angst but also some substantial crack as this was a product of liv and my brainrot coming together to create angsty crack as it so often does.

if you're just here for the fics, go read them! that's all you have to know. if you'd like an update on other stuff, you can keep reading.

i have…many wips, in various stages of completion. they're all coming at some point! i can promise that. what i can't promise you is…any sort of schedule. writing has been harder for me recently, but i've been doing my best to find my motivation again. you can look forward to a few more ruination-adjacent fics now that that saga is over, featuring a few characters that haven't gotten much attention. plus jisheng! everyone loves jisheng

there will also be some unrelated fics that have just been sitting around for a while that i'd like to finish, so those are coming at some point too

anyway, if you're still here, thanks for sticking around. i really do appreciate all of you and all the support that you give <3

see you soon™

[aryasage]

can i get a uhhhhhh "façades are beautiful–but what happens when they crack?" my god i am so curious

and maybe a "how to intimidate a showmaker 101" if it isn't too bothersome, i would like to know how to intimidate a showmaker too

those titles are certified bangers

btw, big fan of your (and livikattt's, but apparently you're the same entity™) works!!!

façades are beautiful–but what happens when they crack?

heh. for this one, we're going to have to go a while back—to before the first ppau fic was even published. i'm honestly curious how many ppau readers even saw ssash—and looking back on it now, it's certainly not my best work (and wow past tense looks weird) but i do still like some of the lines i got in there. anyway, at the end of ssash, i promised that some mikyx angst would be coming soon. then, by hcihelyd, it had been indefinitely shelved. what happened to it?

well, the most obvious answer is loss of motivation. that's the reason for almost all of my wips staying wips, after all. and it's certainly applicable here, but the more important thing that happened is, well…ppau happened.

i've mentioned before how "pure canon" in rpf can get messy very quickly if you're not careful, and this definitely got messy. i'm not going to go into the specifics of why, but let's just say there was a lot of projection going on, whether intentional or not. it wasn't an au, not really, and i'm not really comfortable writing that, especially not with where it was heading. i didn't really have a plot, either. the only thing resembling a plot was just…well. watching xl get reverse swept to get knocked from worlds contention was incredibly depressing, not to mention the loser's interview miky gave after. but eventually i found a different team to write angst about after their loss, and i'm much more proud of that fic :)

so this is never going to get finished, let alone published, but you can have a bit that didn't age too poorly~

“Hey, at least we’re not Vitality,”  he joked halfheartedly, resulting in a small and hollow laugh from his teammates. The tension was palpable, the heat of the summer air only a small factor of the thickness that permeated the room. No one wanted to be the first to speak up about their complete and utter failure.

how to intimidate a showmaker 101

in a complete tone shift, this one is complete crack. that is, until it switches povs, but i was too lazy to write more than a few paragraphs of that part seeing as i knew i was never going to be able to publish the full thing (thank you for that, lolrpf! i love having to censor everything i write just so it won't be interpreted as shipping), and i also didn't really have a set ending. i had written pretty much everything i planned out~

i do still love it, though. maybe i could change the sensitive part at some point so i can post it here or something. who knows. we'll see.

anyway, as for the actual plot…well. if you read wtua (and if you didn't what are you doing, it's right here), then you might have noticed showmaker mentioning viper putting a knife to his throat the last time scout made him ask viper for help. it's also brought up in dfwydk how showmaker teleported straight to his location and, again, got a blade to his throat. there are also a couple more references in unpublished (for now) things. these are all referring to this…incident.

before showmaker drags scout to jiejie in order to save his life, scout mentions the person who is still talking to him. viper. unfortunately, before he can contact viper himself, he has a sliiight sleep paralysis episode. enter showmaker, who is Definitely Not Concerned At All For Scout's Wellbeing, and who is also being ghosted by scout. as we see in wtua, showmaker's teleportation is…very handy.

here's the most important bit. or, well, the part that i had the most fun writing~

“I asked you a question,” Viper says, stalking towards Showmaker, and gods, speaking of that poison, Showmaker can’t help but recoil at the pain that blossoms in his mind with every word that Viper speaks. He’s all too aware of the gun still trained on his head, but his words are stuck in his throat as he tries to answer Viper.

Viper suddenly moves too quickly for Showmaker to react, and now, as well as a gun digging into his back, there’s a blade at his throat. “I won’t ask it again, Heosu.” The shadows all around the room press in, and though Showmaker knows they’re intangible, he can’t help but feel horribly claustrophobic.

Finally, Showmaker manages to conjure up his magic, frantically throwing out an explanation as quickly as he can. “It’s about Scout!”

Viper’s blade only digs deeper, and Showmaker can feel blood welling up. “What did you do to him?” Viper snarls. It takes all of Showmaker’s willpower not to thrash against the pain from the poison of Viper’s voice and slice his own throat open in the process.

“Nothing, I swear! He needs your help! He said you’d understand,” Showmaker pleads.

“Since when do you care about helping Scout?” Viper spits out. “Last I heard you two weren’t the best of friends.”

it's incredibly self-indulgent, as you can tell, but protective viper is just too much fun. i regret nothing.

we are not the same! but we are two halves of a whole :)

twin shadows, if you will~

but thank you! glad you enjoy them as much as we do, and hope you enjoyed this little sneak peek~

[aryasage]

im screaming why are all your wip titles bangers

ok u asked me for 3 so i see this as justified. gimme "jiejie's fine! for sure!" (u had to know i would ask about that) and "there's a part of myself i'm missing" pls >:D

i will not ask u about cat angst bc i remember it clearly from the time u killed my grandpa

jiejie's fine! for sure!

the title does not quite fit the tone because, well, there are multiple fic ideas on that doc…the first of which corresponds to the title. (and you've seen quite literally all that was written for that first fic before i realised i had no actual Plot and gave up)

so the real fic on this doc is still jiejie getting hurt. bc ofc. but maybe not quite in that…denial vibe. it's the story of how when jiejie says he killed a wyrm solo at seventeen, he's not lying. but he's maybe not telling the full story. and yes, this is why meiko and viper snicker when spica brings it up in raftf. there's not much written seeing as i am far better at thinking of stories than actually writing them down, but here you go :)

Has Jiejie mentioned how much he hates Devourers yet?

The spikes they constantly make the ground erupt with are annoying enough, but the shrieks that they make—the petrifying screams that make him freeze, even for a split second—Jiejie would do anything to not have to endure those ever again. 

(Well, not anything; if he's going to be a Summoner, he's going to have to be able to fight any kind of Void creature, but still. They're annoying. More than just annoying, really, but he's not going to admit that to himself, let alone to anyone else.)

there's a part of myself i'm missing

in which viper realises he's been inadvertently handing over a massive advantage to the ruined summoners thanks to a gift from meiko that he's gotten so used to he forgot he always has it with him. and since it's me, hurt/comfort ensues

(ft scout and showmaker and some more damwon summoners because self-restraint is a long-forgotten myth)

“Scout,” Viper says in a low voice, trying and failing to keep it steady. “Scout, this is a tracker. That—that Meiko has access to.”

Scout pales. “You couldn’t have thought of that before?”

“I’m sorry. I…I didn’t think of it. Not until you brought it up,” Viper says quietly. 

“Besides, you’re one to talk about not thinking of things, Scout,” Showmaker interjects.

Scout shoots a withering glare at Showmaker that is only met with a satisfied smirk. “I swear to the gods, Showmaker…”

Showmaker’s grin only widens, and with a huff, Scout turns back to Viper. “Viper, you need to take it off. If he can track our every move—” Scout shudders. “You know what he can do with even the slightest bit of information. We might as well be handing over all our plans,” Scout says.

i'm glad you like the titles i have a lot of fun naming them hehe

and i would HOPE you would remember but i did NO SUCH THING this is SLANDER. LIBEL, IF YOU WILL. LIES. DECEIT.

[spiritblossoming]

wip coping HARD bruh (how could i not, with a name like that?)

HAHA that was written shortly after worlds finals, which I think is a pretty good indication of what it's about before I even say. This is the sequel to mcdonalds fic, except by now, it would be the fourth mcdonalds fic if I were to publish it. which I won't.

“But still,” Scout says, a little more forcefully this time. Hell, there’s so much authority in his tone that even Faker straightens a bit. “You have to be careful what you wish for. Believe me, I would know.”

Showmaker’s jaw drops open. Scout’s bluntness is enough to have Chovy at least somewhat surprised, even if he has zero context. From his spot in the corner, Faker wheezes, throwing his head back to laugh so hard that he hits it on the wall.

Scout watches all of this happen with a familiar kind of growing concern, and for a moment, Showmaker half expects Flandre to appear out of nowhere and kidnap him just like last time. “Okay, why do I get the feeling that my wish is a secret to absolutely nobody?” He glares at Showmaker accusingly.

“I told you, I’m not a snitch,” Showmaker says quickly. “I wouldn’t tell anyone. Except for Canyon, but he doesn’t count.”

“Uh-huh. That totally explains why the greatest Summoner in the world is sitting in the corner laughing his ass off about it.”

basically: zeka hate club (none of them hate zeka but boy are they salty)

(except showmaker who is salty about chovy)

this fic concept is long dead, but fear not! the mcdonalds mid laners may still make an appearance together yet! just not... during ruination station. for obvious reasons.

thanks for the ask!

[spiritblossoming]

I hate it. anyway here's chovy stealth outfit

oh also go read what are you willing to lose for some stupid crack involving 5 korean mid laners... and some angst in later chapters because TONAL DISSONANCE BABYYY

-> delay finishing up a fic chapter because i want to do a little silly fun doodle for it! and maybe i will do the main characters or something for each chapter!

-> make the most god awful terrible atrocious drawing known to man after like 4 hours of grinding til my hand hurts

-> remember at 1am that oh yeah the fic

-> open the drawing file because i forgot what it looked like

-> instant regret

[spiritblossoming]

MAN.

[spiritblossoming]

The State of PPAU: A Really Long Post

This is gonna read like a video essay script I’m sorry 😭 and I'm serious about it being long this is 3k and says nothing really

When I started PPAU, it was more of a oneshot that I never expected to finish. Of course, I did finish it, so then I ended up posting it. At some time around then, my art teacher wanted me to draw up some sort of fictional setting, so I cheated and drew the players-as-champions universe I had been envisioning for months, inspired by the initial shots in the Burn It All Down MV of bright lights in a dark, rainy city. (That’s probably why the PPAU version of China has that same vibe of heavy rain and colorful light 90% of the time.) The first fic came out, and… it didn’t seem to draw much attention. Which, by the way, isn’t a problem, but it felt pretty discouraging back then. I came from a really close community in my last fandom where we would always be leaving paragraph-long comments on each other’s works, so getting a grand total of zero comments made me decide that I wouldn’t continue the universe like I had hinted. Much. 

The second PPAU fic was about the most popular North American team at the time, EG. At the time of posting, it was my way of saying goodbye to a universe I didn’t think I’d explore more of. Unlike my first fic, however, this one did get comments and kudos galore (I legitimately thought someone kudos-botted the fic or something since it had more kudos than hits). One comment in particular offered me more than just encouragement—it offered me a question. AryaSage wanted to understand how people got their powers, since it seemed a little inconsistent between fics. I never really answered that question very well, since magical sources of power were decidedly complicated in PPAU. But that  comment was what made me decide to continue PPAU for at least a little longer. 

My third fic was something pretty new for me. Instead of a oneshot that was mostly action or random fluff, I was going to do a multichap with a plot. You see, while trying to come up with championship wishes, I decided to give Scout one that would synergize with his champion, Zoe. I wrote down something along the lines of “boundless energy, never sleeps.” After a second of thinking, I added, “—angst?” Exploring championship wishes, the consequences of being a moron and the bond between teammates sounded like fun, so I went for it. Unfortunately for me, I couldn’t really write a vaguely emotional, character-driven story without understanding the characters. And I knew very little about EDG, considering I have been a Damwon fan for almost as long as I’ve been into esports, and I am also a petty bitch. Rather than research, I went off pictures and their champions. Meiko was Yuumi, so he was generally cheerful, a great support outside of battle, and big on physical touch. Viper was Aphelios, so he was mysterious and cool. (AryaSage later gave him trauma.) Scout had to have a reason to make his stupid wish in the first place, so I made him a little bit of a moron. Jiejie was my favorite EDG member, although that’s not saying much, and I made him sarcastic because of his smirk in pictures. Flandre… was also there. In the span of about a week, I did what I had never done before: I finished a multichap fic. Arya commented on each chapter as it came out, which reminded me of my old fandom and helped motivate me to figure out what the hell my plot was. I call one day you’ll wish you hadn’t the EDG pilot, since I clearly hadn’t figured out the characters yet. 

Going into my fourth fic, I knew it was going to be an LCK fic. One commenter, rakuyou, said they would love to read more, and suggested that I write LCK next. I agreed, since I had written about the other three major regions already. I planned to write about Damwon, because again, I’m a Damwon fan and Showmaker has been my favorite for years. (He made it into EDG’s fic. That’s how you know it’s bad.) But when I tried to write about them… no ideas came to mind. I ended up thinking about a few clips I’d seen of Gumayusi talking about proving himself to Keria, and I typed out a line: “Okay, so in hindsight, this wasn’t the greatest idea.” Since I had covid at the time and therefore nothing to do but blow my nose and sit in my room, I wrote the rest of the fic in one day. My mom chose the title when she came to bring me my Chipotle. Rakuyou and Arya appeared again to cheer me on, and when Arya suggested that I do a Viper-centric fic to figure out his Deal (see note on me making him mysterious), I decided I might as well. 

So I did. And posted my fifth fic. The next day. As one does. The next two fics, while fun, didn’t have as much crazy inspiration behind them. They were both actually written from prompts, since I ran out of ideas. 

And then there was someday both of us are leaving here. I wrote the beginning of the sixth chapter first as a sort of sequel to counting failures, and then decided to make it a multichap 5+1. After chapter 4, DRX beat T1, and my fic ended up getting a lot more attention as people tried to cope with those finals. Two of my readers, a certain axolotl and owl, would later become my friends. Ginger Owl in particular motivated me to make the fic’s ending as good as it could be, since it was one of her favorite fics at the time. 

It’s worth noting that at the time of posting the sixth chapter, I had been dealing with depression for about six years. The pandemic hadn’t helped, and I was convinced that I was a failure compared to who I used to be. That had just started to change, as I realized about a day before my depression’s birthday that I might be able to be okay after all. One of my friends was also struggling with self-worth in comparison to someone else, similar to Gumayusi in the fic. In the seventh and final chapter, Keria tells Gumayusi that he doesn’t have to be Teddy or any of their teammates. All he has to be is Gumayusi. That chapter wasn’t just a love letter to Ginger Owl and my friend—it was a reminder to myself, of what I’d learned. I was vastly different from how I used to be, sure, and I was worse in a lot of ways, but my current self was also better in other aspects. I didn’t have to compare myself to who I used to be or to anyone else—I was enough. 

Yeah so then my grandpa died and I wrote angst to cope. Blah blah. 

But my grandpa dying and my depression isn’t important to this story! Something more important happened: SHOWMAKER LOST IN QUARTERFINALS. Filled with mald and the spirit of NA, I wrote there’s no crown for losing. And this shit is so bad it warrants a section break. 

For the first eight fics, PPAU had a solid identity. It was supposed to be a bunch of fairly short fics, some with self-contained arcs, that took place in the same universe, were canon compliant, and could be read without prior knowledge of the universe. Obviously, this wasn’t fully the case, since someday both of us are leaving here required knowledge of counting failures, but I figured it wouldn’t be too hard for a gumakeria fan to read a short gumakeria prequel. Plus the whole universe isn’t explained at the beginning of each fic, because that would make me die inside. Anyway, these stories were never connected all that much, making it easy for someone to pick and choose which ones they read based on what teams or players they liked. But there’s no crown for losing was the beginning of the end. Funnily enough, the canon compliance (AKA generally sticking to PPAU versions of IRL events and relationships) wasn’t completely destroyed the second I came up with the idea of a DK EDG crossover, since Damwon posted about LOSER FINALS TODAY WE GONNA WIN THIS TIME BROTHERS. DK VS EDG, TIME: WHENEVER YOU WANT. I love tncfl with my whole heart, but there’s no denying it did two very dangerous things to the universe. 

It introduced the idea of what I call a “mcdonalds fic”, where the previously unrelated characters from past stories came together to make something that was decidedly less than canon compliant. A mcdonalds fic, in essence, puts characters together despite the fact that they have barely interacted at all IRL, and therefore defies canon. 

It introduced Showmaker as the main character instead of a snarky, mysterious asshole like he was in his previous appearances. 

But surely there’s no crown for losing didn’t matter, because it was a one-time thing! Right? Well, it would have been, but then brute force and style combine was an even bigger mcdonalds fic, featuring players from all four regions and all TEN of the previous fics. (I’m serious.) Worse, that fic set up a possible plot, what with the ominous ending and hint that something new was coming. Right after that came run away from the faith, which marked the first time two characters had an important interaction that was insanely non-canon compliant. And of course, then there was now I’ll never be the same, and the Ruination arc, which was so, so non-canon compliant. It literally added a plot that was so disruptive that I had to reschedule some of the IRL matches in-universe, and although that might have been fine, it, uh… It was a global crisis with lasting effects, most notably the trauma I inflicted of some of PPAU’s most prominent characters.

The Ruination arc was a little weird, since it was split into eight fics despite having the same central plotline and arc. I don’t think it would have made much sense as a single fic either, since the POVs and focuses vary wildly (which is a problem in the alt ruination fic), and seeing as I had no idea what the plan was when I posted the first fic, there wasn’t much I could do. During the Ruination, if you wanted to know what the hell was going on, you absolutely had to read the fics that came before it, which wasn’t anything like the format I had going before. I was really drained writing the Ruination, since it was such a big project that I wasn’t sure I could finish. That’s probably why PPAU started how it did—so that no matter when I stopped writing PPAU, it would have a clear enough ending. Like a moron, I even hinted at a second Big Plot in the Ruination finale.

I ended the Ruination by celebrating the fact that all the Plot Shit was over and that I could get back to crack and my regularly scheduled programming. Except… I couldn’t. My next fic, while basically a crack oneshot, referenced the Ruination. I couldn’t justify not doing so, since Keria kind of died and saved the world. It was an awkward in-between of the two PPAU styles, since it could be read without context right up until Gumayusi and Keria start talking about an old arc. Most of the next few fics—a heart full of fire, pray for glory, rise up and sing, and even legendary (the stars will remember you)—were more of a return to the oneshot, non-interconnected format. The obvious exception is what are you willing to lose, but that one kind of had to be open-ended. Even though they were more of a return to the format, all of them still at least referenced past fics and arcs, and with Faker’s fic reaching 2023, it’s going to mention the Ruination. Except for rise up and sing, because EU is fundamentally irrelevant in this universe despite being the first region I wrote about. 

At this point, I didn’t have my self-contained arcs or my canon compliance or my oneshots that you could read independently. It was a whole interconnected mess of plot spaghetti, and it still is. At first, the “series” title didn’t really fit PPAU, since they were all just vaguely related fics, but the Ruination really made it a series. While you can still read the first thirteen fics with little to no context, the rest of the series has required reading, and that’s just… not what I meant to do. PPAU spans 50 fics if you count AryaSage and Space_Axolotl’s contributions—which you should, because they’re a) bangers and b) related to the “plot”. You also have to count the alternate Ruination, which I wrote as a fun what-if and now has a bunch of lore for the universe that can’t be found anywhere else. So now PPAU is over 300,000 words. You have to read a bunch of shit to understand one fic. Plus, while having self-contained arcs is good, now that I’m dragging them all together, you can’t just choose to read the fics about your favorites if you want to understand a new fic. So PPAU’s old concept is working against what it’s become. Honestly, if I wasn’t the author and I saw PPAU today, I wouldn’t read it. 

Look… I’m not writing for the sake of external validation, because I know I shouldn’t, but it’s not as if that doesn’t play a big part. Passion can only get me so far, and that was clear as soon as I started, since I would have quit after my second fic. PPAU isn’t exactly new reader-friendly, so most of my readers are what I call the squad: people who have read a large amount of PPAU and are more committed to it as a universe. Which is cool. I love the squad. It reminds me of my old fandom. But—and this is going to sound bad—sometimes it doesn’t feel like it’s enough. Maybe I’m spoiled by my old fandom, because again, we had paragraph-long comments and discord servers where we would live react to fics (and still leave comments at the end). Maybe I’m not. Either way, it doesn’t change the fact that those long comments that give me motivation and dopamine like nothing else are hard to come by these days. And by the way, there is NOTHING wrong with that, or with the fandom as a whole. Well actually the fandom has an issue with not crediting people or asking permission to use their ideas (star guardian anon i mean you /frfr) or supporting authors as much as they should but whatever. Anyway, I don’t blame anyone for not leaving comments, and I’m not saying that you should. Well I am saying that but I mean it generally and not about my works in particular. Writing any non-T1 fic means that you’re resigning yourself to it not being nearly as popular, and I’m not exactly a T1 main. I think I would have more than a few fics that didn’t have comments were it not for the squad, which kind of bothers me. I love the squad, but when it’s just them commenting on a fic, I start to think that if that fic didn’t have my name attached to it, no one would want to read it. Not even me! And at that point, why am I posting it? Why am I writing it? That’s my kind of thought process when it spirals. 

Even without that, it doesn’t change the fact that I’m just not happy with PPAU’s concept. It’s not fully interconnected, but there are a bazillion plot lines tangled up in there, and it’s not a series, but the Ruination definitely is. Canon compliance is a myth at this point. It’s not the approachable little universe it was when I made it two years ago. I’ve spent more than two years writing and drawing almost exclusively PPAU things, and… this is the part where I say that it’s gotten tiring, but that’s not the case. There are so many stories I can still tell, plus a big plotline I could explore. But if I’m putting all my brainrot into this one universe, I want to at least be happy about how that universe works—and I’m not. 

There’s no easy fix for any of this, though. I can’t untangle the plot threads and fics no matter what, and my ongoing fics reflect that. Faker’s fic will eventually answer a question that was asked by the very first fic, which does seem fitting. Because Faker. Showmaker and Canyon’s fic sets up a Noxian plotline (good timing I know) that has been around since a heart full of fire. But I alluded to Showmaker’s backstory in his first big fic. See point about tncfl breaking the universe. Alt Ruination will also be related to the greater lore of the universe, which I resent. It’s meant to be a spinoff, man… Zoomer fic was initially tied to the Noxian plot before I remembered that was a bad idea, but it still introduces a possible plot going forward. JackeyLove’s fic heavily relies on the Ruination and sets up the Void plotline, because it’s him.

Quick aside, JackeyLove is probably my favorite character I’ve created. He wasn’t supposed to be much (despite me liking iG for longer than I’ve liked DK) but while considering what Kai’Sa might exist as in PPAU, I wrote that she was “a girl who underwent a risky operation to save her life,” with said operation obviously being the Void symbiote. I used the same concept for JackeyLove, which was cool and all until I realized that he might have a little trauma about that. So he’s a bit of a mess now. In a good way. He has Showmaker’s sass, Viper’s trauma, Faker’s weird power scaling and plot relevance… 

Okay anyway. There’s no way to fix PPAU, which is upsetting considering everything I’ve put into this universe. Every chapter I post only exacerbates the issues. I still fully intend to post those chapters and eventually write the Void and Noxian plotlines, which should come to a head this year anyway. After that… we’ll see how I feel. Plot sounds painful. I don’t think I’ll outright end PPAU at some point. It’ll just stop. Which is ominous but that’s how it goes ig. 

It would be nice to work on some other projects too. I have to write that T1 novel, which will be in its own universe. Then there’s the fabled “hvau” which has been cooking for forever. Featuring my favorite mcdonalds morons. 

Maybe one day I’ll at least fix the organization of PPAU… Until then, I’d like to thank the squad I mentioned previously. I appreciate all the support more than you know. Everyone who’s commented/screamed at me in DMs for 2 hours about what I wrote, I love you. Thank you for reading!