#Ben had a good argument but he did not have all the facts | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

carlottawllms · 1 year ago

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We’ll Be Alright

Ben Chilwell x Reader Angst / Fluff Word Count: 6.1K

Just a little something to get us through the injury bc I felt like I needed to baby him. Obvs I know with this kind of injury Ben probably doesn’t need as much help as I’ve made it look like, but for the sake of this fic, let’s pretend it was absolutely necessary.

Enjoy <3 And as always, feedback is very much appreciated!

You hatted missing Ben’s games. Not being able to go and having to watch from home was bad enough, but not even being able to watch at all because of work was a different kind of annoying.

When your boss had asked you yesterday shortly before closing time if you could come to the office today – a Saturday – because the preparation for an important court hearing needed a bit more work, you’d thought that you could simply drive to the stadium directly afterwards and attend the game, but now it was 2:45pm, 15 minutes before kick-off, and you were still sitting at your desk, staring at the case with your colleague Ella, an no end in sight.

“I can finish the rest on my own, y/n.”, she smiled at you as she’d caught your gaze traveling to the clock a good five times within the last three minutes. “When you leave now, you won’t miss more than 10 minutes.”

“That’s very nice of you, but no.”, you declined. “There’s still a ton of things to look through and I won’t leave you alone with it. Ben knows I won’t be there today.”

“But I know you much you hate missing the games. C’mon, just leave, I’ll be fine and-“

“Ella no. I’ll survive missing one game and so will Ben.”, you laughed. “I appreciate it, but they have another game at the Bridge next weekend where I’ll get to watch him play and hundreds more afterwards.”

You didn't know how wrong you were and that you wouldn’t be watching any of his games anytime soon when you stuck your nose back into the papers to find more arguments for your client. You didn’t know what the following week would hold for you and that your relationship would be put to the test.

Ben and you had been together for about a year now and up until today, you were still baffled that he’d managed to wrap you around his finger.

Not because he wasn’t the type of man you were into – he most certainly was – but because after having grown up in a family where everyone was crazily obsessed with football, you’d sworn yourself to stay as far away from the sport as possible.

And it had worked pretty well. You’d moved out and into your own flat, started university and found new friends with new free time activities. Throughout the years you’d graduated, become a lawyer and all that without ever having watched a minute of football again.

And then there’d been the fateful day. On a sunny random Tuesday morning, you’d had an appointment with a client in Cobham. Your car had been parked on the street and when the appointment had eventually been over, someone had been waiting next to your car.

Ben.

He hadn't been paying attention when he’d pulled out of the parking space and hit your car. Nothing more than a bit of a bigger scratch, but as an apology he’d invited you to dinner. You’d said no like three times, but Ben had insisted and eventually you’d said yes to get him out of your hair. He’d taken you on that date, had very much swept you off your feet and the rest was history.

And well, Ben was also the reason why you weren't just surrounded by football again, but actually interested in it. You kept up with the results week by week, you knew the rules and lately you’d found yourself getting upset when Chelsea lost. Not just because of Ben, but because you started to care about the club.

Startled out of your thoughts, your gaze wondered over to where your phone had started ringing and the moment you caught sight of the cute selfie of Ben you’d set as his profile picture flashing up on your screen, your stomach dropped.

He’d never called you during a game before. Not even when he’d been subbed off and the fact, he did now made you feel cold all over.

Even Ella looked a little panicked as you exchanged a look with her.

“Ben?” You tried to hide the worry, but you couldn’t shake the feeling of something being very wrong.

“y/n, hi, it’s Levi.”

Less than 20 minutes after the call you arrived at the Bridge where Levi was waiting for you at the players’ entrance.

As far as you knew, Ben had done something to his hamstring and apparently it didn’t look good at all, but Levi couldn’t tell you any more than that, so the drive had been pure agony and you’d been close to shouting at the uber driver to go quicker a couple of times.

It hadn't been that long ago that Ben had been out because of an injury and now it seemed that he was facing a spell on the sidelines again. Your heart hurt for him – even more so because lately things hadn’t been going his way at all with the new manager playing him out of position or benching him altogether. And now that he was finally back where he belonged, he ended up in the arms of the doctor again.

“y/n, hi. It’s good you’re here.”, Levi pulled you into a quick an much needed hug. “We thought his parents might be, but someone said they’re on holidays?”

You nodded. “Yeah they are and Alex is still in France. Thank you for calling me. How is he?”

“I’m not sure.”, he shrugged, lips pulled into a straight line. “I haven’t spoken to him or anyone, I think they’re still assessing him, but when he came off he said it was bad, so we don’t have much hope to be honest.”

“Shit.”, you sighed. “This season’s just started in the worst way possible for him. Well, for all of you, but you know what I mean.”

“It definitely feels like it.”, Levi agreed reluctantly. “C’mon, I’ll take you to him.”

The tall defender wrapped his arm around your shoulders and guided you through the seemingly endless corridors of Stamford Bridge.

Just like the drive here, the walk to the physio room seemed to be a never ending one and whilst Levi tried his best to keep your spirits up, the closer you got to Ben, the more your heart started pounding.

You remembered well how badly Ben had taken the last injury. He’d tried to be positive and obviously he’d worked hard for his comeback and eventually made it through, but the whole thing had taken a big toll on him. You could only imagine how difficult it had to be to get back on the pitch and trust your body enough to give 100% and throw yourself into the tackles, only to be cruelly pushed back to the start.

“If you need anything, just send someone okay?” Levi hugged you quickly. “I’ll check in with you later. Let me know if I can do anything.”

“Thank you, Levi.”, you smiled, truly grateful he’d become one of your closest friends ever since being back from Brighton.

You gently knocked on the door before entering. Ben was lying on one of the beds, his right arm draped over his face in an attempt to hide away from the cruel world. The bad leg was bent, a physio hovering over your boyfriend to assess his thigh.

“Okay, so we need to run a few more tests tomorrow, but from what I can say, it’s definitely the hamstring and it will take a while. I can’t give a timeframe yet, but we should know tomorrow. If you need anything, give me a call Ben.”

When Ben moved his arm and nodded, you caught the blank expression on his face. His lips pulled into a straight line, eyes pale and empty and it seemed as if despite acknowledging it, nothing the physio just said, had actually reached him.

“Oh, hi y/n. You can take him home whenever he’s ready. I’ll inform the others and book the tests in for tomorrow 11. Is that fine with you?”

“Sure, no problem. Thank you.”

With a pat to your shoulder and an encouraging smile, the physio left the room. The following silence was deafening. All that could be heard in the quiet room was Ben’s and your breathing. Your boyfriend didn’t spare you so much as a glance when he hoisted himself up in a sitting position, the pain evident on his face as he moved his leg, and if you weren’t unfortunately familiar with it all, you’d probably feel a little hurt by his actions.

Knowing him and having been through this before, you didn’t try to start a conversation. Instead, you just went into the dressing room and packed the duffle bag he always brought, whilst Ben quickly took a shower.

You hated being in this situation. Not just because he was hurt, but also because you couldn’t really help him. There was nothing you could do to take the pain – the physical and mental one – away of bring him back on the pitch. Being there and holding his hand through it all was something, but you knew it would never be enough.

Once Ben was out of the shower and dressed in his Chelsea tracksuit, he reluctantly grabbed the crutches and followed you to his car. As you went to help him get into the car, he only gave you a pointed look and with a sigh, you gave up, walked around the car and got in yourself.

With a grunt, Ben slumped into the seat, crutches clattering against the car’s interior, and you really had to hold yourself back from rolling your eyes at his stupidly stubborn behaviour.

One of the first things you’d learned about him when you started dating, was that he found it very difficult to accept help. Deep down, he knew he couldn't do everything on his own, but it took him a lot to actually admit it and let you see his vulnerable side.

You could still vividly remember the day he’d finally confessed to you about going to therapy. Not that there was anything wrong with that, quite the contrary as you were very proud of him to seek help and talk about it, but at first, he’d felt like a failure. He’d always had the impression that you had your entire life under control - and his, too - and telling you that he was struggling had taken a bit of time.

The drive was quiet. Ben was basically trying to hide in the seat, head turned towards the window with his thoughts probably all over the place and it made your heart hurt even more. He’d been through so much, so seeing him like this again, knocked to the ground and looking like a kicked puppy trapped in this seemingly never-ending cycle, made you want to wrap him up and protect him from all evil of the world.

It was about ten minutes into the drive, that you felt Ben’s hand creeping up your leg and squeezing your thigh gently. His way of saying sorry.

“Thank you for coming.”, he whispered and the way he sounded so sad just broke your heart into a million pieces.

“That’s okay.”, you smiled. “You know I’ll always be there for you.”

For the remainder of the drive, the two of you lapsed again into silence. This time a more comfortable one though. Ben had grabbed your free hand in his and played with your fingers, an action that never failed to calm him down, whilst you steered his big ass car through London’s busy streets.

“Anything you’d like to eat?”

Ben just shrugged, genuinely not knowing what he wanted or if he even wanted to have anything. The injury and uncertainty about the length of the outage gnawed at him and whilst all he wanted was go to bed and pretend nothing of this ever happened, he knew you’d never let him. You’d grant him an hour or maybe two of self-pity and sadness and then you’d be on his toes constantly, trying to prevent him from falling down the rabbit hole.

And that’s exactly what happened.

Once you arrived at his, you made sure he got in safely and had everything he needed before going home yourself to grab a couple of things you’d need.

As your relationship hadn’t started until around a year ago, the two of you didn’t live together yet and so far, the subject of moving in together hadn’t really come up either. Technically, you’d love to move in with him and be around him way more often than now, especially as his hectic schedule and your 9-to-5 didn’t necessarily make it easy to spend time together. At times you felt as if he was free whenever you weren’t and vice versa. You hated it.

And you felt that moving in together would solve the problem. At least to an extent. You’d be able to wake up and go to bed together, lounge in front of the tv and cuddle without the looming thought of one having to leave at some point.

But then there was this one thing that made it all a bit difficult: the salary difference.

Ben lived in this insanely huge house that you didn't even know if he rented or bought, and you couldn't afford a quarter of it on your normal salary if you tried. Moving in with him would feel like you were living off his money, and you were afraid that one day he might think that too.

But moving into an apartment you could afford was probably out of the question for Ben. Not that he’d ever implied that, but you just had a feeling that he wouldn’t be exactly thrilled about it. Also, he’d never talked about it either, so you weren’t even sure moving in with you was something that he could picture anytime soon.

With your overnight bag hanging from your shoulder and a bag of snacks and pick-me-ups in your hand, you got back to Ben’s and to your big surprise, he’d not vanished upstairs. Instead, he was looking a bit like a human burrito from the way he was wrapped up in the fluffy blanket you’d gotten him as a just-because-gift earlier this month.

“Hi baby.”, you said softly, brushing through his hair as you squatted down in front of him. “I got you your favourite iced tea and a few snacks for later. I’ll make us some food, yeah?”

“Mhm.”, he hummed, not even looking you in the eyes, but you could tell he liked the feeling of your fingers running through his hair.

“Tell me if you need anything.”

With a kiss to his forehead, you disappeared into the kitchen. On your way back to Ben’s you’d racked your brain for some sort of soul food and lasagna had ended up being the dinner to go for.

From his mum you knew how much he loved it and that it had been his favourite food ever since he was a kid, but him being a professional footballer on a strict diet, his nutritionist would murder him for having it too often. Hence, why the two of you hadn’t had it in forever. But now with the disappointment over the fresh injury, lasagna was the perfect choice.

For a while, you kept working away in silence, chopping the ingredients and preparing everything you needed. Normally, the radio would be playing, filling the kitchen with happy songs to sway away to, but as you didn’t want to disturb Ben in the living room, you kept it off.

He needed a bit of time to process it all, get his head around what it meant and that he had to start from the bottom again, so you let him be for a while.

You didn’t know for how long you were in the kitchen, but when you’d just dried the last pot, you felt a warm body brushing up against your back. “Sorry.”, Ben whispered into your neck as his arms wrapped around your middle and squeezed your gently. “I needed a moment. Can I help you with something?”

You dropped your head back against his shoulder, hands grabbing onto his arms. “That’s okay, baby. And no, it’s all done. Food should be ready in five.”

“Is it lasagna?” His lips gently traced along your jaw before placing a soft kiss to your cheek.

“Yeah. We haven’t had it in forever and I know you love it.”, you smiled. “You’re hungry?”

“Very much so.” And just in that moment his tummy grumbled angrily, making you both chuckle.

Wanting to see his face, you turned in his arms and wrapped your arms around his neck, fingertips gently running through his hair. The fond smile on his face couldn’t hide the fact that he was still incredibly sad, but it was better than nothing.

“Perfect. Want to go and sit down? I’ll bring it in.”

Ben closed his eyes when you brushed a stray strand of hair out of his face, fingertips just about caressing his smooth skin.

“Give me a kiss first?”, he asked shyly, eyes dropping to your lips and when you pulled them into a gentle smile, Ben leaned in. His mouth brushed yours in the softest of kisses before applying a little more pressure. You kissed him back immediately, putting as much love in the kiss as possible in an attempt to make him feel a little better and when his smile broke the kiss, you knew you’d succeeded.

“I love you, y/n.”

“I love you, too Benji.”

Throughout the next days, you tried to show your support as best as you could. After having spoken about it to Ben, you’d convinced your boss to let you work from home so you could keep an eye on your boyfriend and help him with the household so he could rest his leg as much as possible.

In the first couple of days, everything had been fine. You’d driven him to physio sessions at Cobham, held his hand when the doctors had announced the devastating news of him facing about two months on the sidelines and made sure he got through the day without spiralling.

But then about two days ago, Ben had become a little distant. You’d blamed it on everything catching up with him and the realisation just kicking in, but when he’d pulled away more and more, not even kissing you good morning anymore, you’d started to wonder if you being here was too much for him.

You didn’t want to be over the top or annoying and clingy. You didn’t want to make him feel as if he couldn’t do things on his own anymore, so you took a step back.

Instead of making breakfast for the both of you, you only mad some for yourself, having it in front of your computer in the guest bedroom that had become your makeshift workplace. For lunch you still asked if he wanted something, but whenever you didn’t get a reply, you simply made a portion for yourself and put the other half into the fridge for whenever Ben felt like eating.

Deep down you knew it was just because of the current situation and had nothing to do with you, but that didn’t mean his behaviour didn’t hurt. You knew talking about his feelings wasn’t his strong point and you’d never force him to, but you still wished he would let you in a little more; let you help by being there, holding his hand and providing him with love and support.

But the more days passed, the worse got his attitude. He’d already had a tiny fight with his mum over the phone, sent about three teammates away, who’d simply wanted to check in with him and then yesterday, when Mase had called, he’d told him he didn’t want to talk and hung up.

To say he was awful to be around at the moment would be an understatement.

It was day five of living with him and your patience started to run incredibly low. After having woken up to his annoying behaviour, you’d decided to get dressed for some grocery shopping. Actually, you didn’t need anything, but after days of being confronted with the same mopy ass, you needed a breather.

You just hadn’t expected that to be the reason why Ben eventually exploded. He was sat on the sofa, staring at the tv without properly focussing on the series he’d put on when you came downstairs.

“I’ll head to the shops real quick. Do you need anything, Benji?”, you asked, brushing through his hair and sending him a smile as you passed him.

“Just go and stop annoying me.”, he mumbled, causing you to stop dead in your tracks. Surely there was no way he’d just say that?

“I beg your pardon?” You raised an eyebrow when you turned and faced him, giving him the chance to take back his words, but from the cold expression in his eyes you knew he wouldn’t.

“I said just go and stop annoying me.”, Ben repeated as he stared you dead in the eyes.

“Ben I-“

“All week, you’ve been in my hair, annoying the shit out of me with your constant babying. Telling me to take my meds here, cooking lunch for me there, staying here as if I’m some sort of idiot who’s not capable of living on his own.”

“I know you’re frustrated Ben, trust me I really understand-“, you tried, heart dropping to your tummy, but Ben was far too angry to even give you the chance to say something.

“No you don’t, y/n. You could never understand because you’ve never been in this situation. You don’t know what it means!”

“Except I do, Ben!”, you hissed as you grew more agitated by the second. “You’ve been through this before and I was there too, remember?”

“How could I forget, huh? It was the same shitshow as right now.”, he sneered causing a cold shiver to roll down your spine. “There’s no need for you to be here all the time. I’ve survived things like this before you and I’m perfectly fine on my own, you know? I don’t know why you think you need to be around me all the time, but I don’t need you. What I need is time to breathe, fucking hell!”

His sudden outburst left you paralysed and feeling hot all over, hands shaking by your sides as you tried to hold your tears at bay.

His previous behaviour had hurt a lot already, but his words now just felt like daggers straight into your heart. Your mum had always said that words could act like weapons, but up until now, you’d never understood what she’d meant.

I don’t need you. You didn’t think any sentence had ever hurt this much.

The following silence was deafening, but it also gave you the time to take a breath and think about what to say. You’d experienced him talking like this to his teammates, his best friend and even his mum, but you refused to let him speak like this to you.

“I’m truly hoping you didn’t mean what you said and that it’s just the frustration speaking.”, you stated quietly, but firmly. “I never meant-“

“Yeah but you-“

“Let me speak.”, you snapped, a furious expression on your face when Ben tried to interrupt you again. “I never meant to bug you or make you feel like you can't do anything on your own. It's all about communication, you know? You could have just told me. I fucking asked you if you wanted me to work from here and you said yes, Ben. An honest no would’ve done the trick with no damage done. Why didn't you tell me yesterday or the day before that you needed space? You know me, I would have understood.”

A small moment of silence filled the room when you forced the tears back inside. Your voice was a little wobbly, but you were determined to make it through your little speech before you left.

“I really hope I'm not wrong and that all that you said was just out of frustration, but still, I refuse to put up with it. I’m not your emotional punching bag, Ben, I'm your girlfriend.” Angrily, you wiped a stray tear from your cheek. “I’ll leave you to it now and give you the space you want. Maybe think about what you said and if this relationship is still what you want.”

You could feel Ben’s eyes on you as you grabbed your phone from the table and left the living room. A tiny part inside of you was hoping for him to call for you and ask you to stay, but he never did. The only sound was the front door falling shut behind you. And that was all it took for the waterworks to start.

You couldn't remember ever having felt this hurt. Your past relationship had been a happy one and you’d only split in the end because you’d grown apart. Disappointment or hurt had never been part of it and for the past year you’d never experienced any of that with Ben either, so hearing from him, from the person you could imagine having by your side forever, that he didn’t need you and that you were too much, hurt. A lot.

Driving home proved to be difficult with the never-ending tears falling down your cheeks, but somehow, you made it back safely. You turned your phone off the moment you got home and wasted no time in flopping down on your bed, curled into yourself as sobs shook your body.

It wasn’t just the things he’d said to you. It was also the worry eating you alive from the inside, the worry he might not make it out of that whole this time. And the looming fear that this was the end of your perfect relationship, that the man you wanted to build a family with had slipped through your fingers.

For hours you stayed in bed, motionless, just staring at the ceiling with memories of Ben and you happily together flowing through your mind. You knew this didn’t necessarily mean the relationship was over. The two of you just needed to talk, say sorry and hug, but right now in this moment it all felt so far away.

Ben felt so far away.

You didn’t know for how long you ended up not moving an inch, but when someone knocked at your door, the sun shining through your window had already set. Your head hurt from all the crying and as you hadn’t had anything to eat since breakfast, you felt a little dizzy as well as you brought yourself into an upright position.

For a moment you considered not answering the door, but whoever it was, was relentless as the knocking never stopped and when you eventually opened the door, you were more than surprised.

With red-rimmed eyes and blotchy cheeks, Ben stood on your doorstep, holding on to his crutches and the sight of him all sad had your tummy dropping.

“Ben…what-“

“I’m sorry.”, he whispered as a tear fell down his cheek and that was all it took for you to usher him inside. You didn’t need your neighbours to witness it all.

“I’m so sorry y/n. I didn’t mean it. I got in my head and…and…I’m so fucking sorry, please don’t hate me.” Ben dropped his head as more tears started to fall, ashamed of himself and how he’d treated you out of all people. “I never meant for it…it to…to…”

“Benji, hey, it’s okay. C’mere.” You were quick in stepping forward and wrapping your arms around his neck carefully and the moment he felt you brushing up against his body, he dropped his head into the crook of your neck. The crutches cluttered to the ground as he circled your waist tightly, but neither of you cared.

After days of days of going without each other’s touch and proximity, the hug worked wonders, mending small parts of your bruised hearts.

Ben’s body shook from sobs and you tried your best to calm him down with running your fingers through his hair and scratching his scalp, but days’ worth of holding in the tears, desperation and pain had taken a toll on him.

For a rather long while, the two of you remained in your hallway, holding on to each other for dear life whilst letting the tears flow freely and only when Ben pulled away carefully, did you loosen your grip around him. You grabbed his face between your hands, thumbs gently wiping at the remaining tears and when he sent you a soft smile, you felt a little better.

You would be okay.

“Let’s sit down and talk a little, hm?”

He followed you into your flat before flopping down onto your sofa and the moment the crutches were out of the way, he held his hand out for you, effectively pulling you right next to him.

“I know sorry isn’t enough for what happened back at mine, but I really need you to know that I am.”, he told you with your hands in his, thumbs gently brushing over your knuckles. “I didn’t mean any of it, I promise you, love. I don’t even want to try and explain it, even less excuse it because there is no excuse for any of the things I’ve said. I’m just so fucking sorry, y/n.”

You nodded slowly, focussing on how soft his skin felt against yours. He was sorry and you believed him, but sorry didn’t settle all the worry and uneasiness inside of you.

“You said you don’t need me.”, you mumbled, eyes welling up with fresh tears at the memory of the moment those words had left Ben’s mouth. “You made me feel like I’m too much. I never meant to be too much, I just-“

“You’re not too much, baby.”, he breathed, pulling you into his chest. He cradled the back of your head in an attempt to hold you as close to him as possible as the thought of having made you feel like this had his heart breaking. “God, you’re everything but. You’re so perfect and so caring and I love it so much. I love you so much, y/n.”

Ben let you hide in his chest for a little while longer before he pulled away and gently cupped your cheek in his hand.

“You could never be too much, love.”, he told you sincerely. “You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me and when you left, I was devastated. I knew straight away that I’d fucked up and that I’d just single-handedly put our whole relationship in doubt and I’m so very sorry for that.”

Ben softly pressed his lips to your forehead.

“You’ve been perfect this week, I need you to know that. When you asked me if I wanted you to stay and I said yes, I meant that. Never during this week have you overstepped or made me feel as if I couldn’t do things on my own, you just looked out for me and supported me, and I appreciate that more than you will ever understand. I promise you, you’ve never been too much or held me back from breathing freely. You’ve been perfect and I loved having you around so much.”

“But what happened?”

Ben dropped his head ashamedly and sighed. He knew he should’ve just talked to you. “Shortly before you came downstairs, Reece messaged me and told me about the newest things he’d heard at Cobham. Apparently, they’re planning to sign a perfect leftback in January and I think that was the straw that broke the camel’s back, you know? I was overwhelmed and annoyed and so fucking disappointed and I would’ve snapped at anyone coming my way. I’m sorry it was you.”

“Benji.”, you sighed. Your tummy churned uncomfortably as you could only imagined how devastating that news must’ve been. “I’m so sorry for that. I know I can’t change any of what Chelsea is up to, but I promise you whatever happens, I’ll be right there with you, okay? We’ll get through it together.”

“Thank you.”, he smiled softly, before his gaze turned serious again. “It’s still no excuse for how I spoke to you and what I said. I really am sorry.”

“It’s okay, Ben. You’ve had a really bad week and no that doesn’t make any of the things better, but it didn’t necessarily help with the situation either. It was a little too much and sometimes that happens, but next time you feel like you’re on the brink of exploding just speak to me, yeah?”

“I promise.”, he chuckled before leaning in to kiss you softly. It was the first proper kiss in a few days and he could feel the tingling all over his body. He’d missed you so much and he hated himself for distancing himself from you.

“There’s something else though.”, Ben admitted as he pulled away. “This is probably not the best time as I just had to turn into the biggest idiot the world has ever seen, but I feel like it could settle your worries a little, you know?”

You tilted your head to the side a little, curious of what he was about to ask. “Shoot.”

“Actually, before that…you said I should think about whether or not this relationship is still what I want, but y/n I don’t need time to think about that. I know I want this, you. I love you, y/n and there’s nothing that I want more than to be with you and have you by my side for as long as you want me, okay?”

With his thumbs he brushed the tops of your cheeks, a fond smile on his lips and his heart thundering in his chest.

The more he looked at you, the less he could believe you’d chosen him. You were such a beautiful person, inside out and you could be with anyone, but out of all people you’d said yes to being with him. And even now after he’d said the worst things to you, you were willing to stay with him.

“There was something else you wanted to say?”, you reminded him gently after a few minutes of complete silence.

“Oh…yes. Well, I’ve been meaning to ask you for a while now but being honest I’ve been bricking it and kept pushing it to the next day.”, he laughed with slightly blushed cheeks. “I erm…I was wondering if maybe erm…you’d like to erm…move in with me?”

Ben watched you staring at him in a mixture of surprise and shock, but the small smile creeping onto your lips gave him a little hope that he hadn’t fucked it completely.

“Are you sure?”

“Of course, I am, you muppet.”, he laughed, nudging his nose against yours. “I’d love to have you around all the time. Go to bed and wake up with you in my arms, having you there when I get home or coming home before you and getting to wait for you. The thought of living with you makes me so incredibly happy, y/n, you have no idea. I’d love for you to move in, but I don’t want you to feel like you have to. I know I can be difficult and we-“

“Ben.”, you interrupted him quickly, chuckling quietly at his nervous rambling. “I’d love to move in with you.” You could see his face dropping slightly in disappointment as he was obviously expecting the but. “It’s just that…you earn so much more than I do obviously, and I don’t want to live off your money and it’s…I don’t know it’s been plaguing my mind for a while.”

“I understand.”, he said and the soft smile on his face eased your worries a little. “You know don’t think you’re living off my money. Never have and never will, but I get what you mean and I’m sure we can find a solution that works for you too, okay? We can discuss the details and figure it out, but love, I just want us to live together.”

For a second, you simply looked at him. At the sheer excitement in his eyes and the small smile on his lips and although the concerns about the financial part of it all were still looming in the back of your head, you couldn’t help but nod.

“Okay. I’ll move in then.”

The bright, fond smile on Ben’s face had your heart stumbling in your chest and when he leaned in to kiss you again, that familiar warmth spread through your whole body. The kiss was messy and interrupted by both of your smiles and laughs multiple times, but neither of you minded.

You’d move in with Ben. You’d move in with the best person you’d ever met; with your person.

“I love you, y/n.”, he whispered against your lips. “So very much.”

“And I love you.”

“Even though I can be a bit of an idiot sometimes?”

“Yes.”, you laughed. “Because you’re my idiot. And I can’t believe I get to live with my idiot.”

“I can’t wait.”, Ben smiled as he laid back on the sofa and pulled you right on top of him. “I really can’t wait.”

—————

I genuinely hope you enjoyed reading this. You would make my day if you left a little feedback so I can see what you liked and what I can improve on 🩷

#ben chilwell #ben chilwell imagine #ben chilwell fanfic #ben chilwell x reader #football imagine #chelsea fc #football fanfic #chelsea imagine #ben chilwell fluff #ben chilwell angst #fluff #angst #fanfiction

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daughterofcain-67 · 1 year ago

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𝙾𝚞𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝙾𝚞𝚛 𝚃𝚒𝚖𝚎 (pt. 9)

(Soldier Boy x Female Reader)

(masterlist)

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Your main goal while you’re riding with Butcher is to make sure you can get Ben back no matter the cost. After getting to Grace Mallory’s last known residence, you hope you can find what you’re looking for. The sooner you’d find Ben, the better off you’ll be.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: cannon level violence, nothing to explicit. Alternative ending to the final episode of season three in a way, or an alternative version of the aftermath rather. Hope you all enjoy!

You could hear the way Butcher was grumbling obscenities to himself all throughout the car ride to get to Grace Mallory’s home. You didn’t catch all of it but you knew Butcher wasn’t exactly thrilled to be going back to a place where he was unwelcome. It surprised you since you assumed he got used to the feeling of being unwelcome considering his record.

“You know, you aren’t the only one in the car. You sound like a psychopath talking to yourself when I’m right here.” You said as you continued to look out through the windshield.

“I just don’t get why you’re going through all this trouble for a guy who’s willing to kill children like Ryan just to get to his goal. What kind of heartless bastard is he?” He asked, glaring at the road and you shrugged a little.

“And you were completely fond of Ryan when you found out he was the spawn of your wife’s rape? A spawn of Homelander? Don’t tell me the thought hadn’t crossed your mind, so that argument is kind of unfair to Soldier Boy.” You commented and you heard Butcher continue to grumble.

“That’s a different bloody story. Becca didn’t ask for any of that shit to happen to her. She went missing for so many years and I had no fucking clue what happened to her. Hell, there were times I thought she was dead.”

“Soldier Boy is my Becca. You went a handful of years without her. I’ve gone decades without Soldier Boy. And he didn’t ask to be taken to Russia, didn’t ask to be robbed of the opportunity to raise his own son. Who knows, if Soldier Boy really did raise Homelander, maybe he wouldn’t have turned out to be such a dick.” You continued.

“I hardly think Soldier Boy is really as helpless as Becca was though.”

“That’s not what I’m saying.. Yeah he’s strong and for the most part he can take care of himself if you take the damned Novichok out of the equation. No, he’s not as helpless as your wife was. And I’m sorry for your loss and I hate to hear what happened to her. Maybe that wasn’t exactly the best example.”

“You think?” Butcher muttered as he started to turn on a certain road.

“Okay, okay. Bad analogy. Maybe it would be better like this… The same love Becca felt for you? The way she loved you is the love I feel for Soldier Boy.”

“Oh now you’re comparing me to Soldier Boy? Thanks, that’s such a bloody compliment to be compared to the cunt.” He said and you sighed.

“Well, all I’m saying neither of you are perfect. You both have your flaws. Like a shit ton of flaws and no one in their right mind should care for either of you. Both of you have blood on your hands whether you wanted it or not. But Becca accepted you, flaws and all. She knew you’re far from perfect and she wasn’t blind to the fact that you’re not exactly the greatest guy on the planet, but her love for you was still strong and unconditional. And I love Soldier Boy even with all of his flaws and mistakes.”

Butcher was silent for several moments while his gaze remained transfixed on the road ahead of the two of you. You turned your head and looked out of the passenger window.

“He really wasn’t a bad guy in the beginning. Arrogant, sure. But he never wanted innocent people to get hurt. He just got suckered into Vought’s trap like a lot of Supes do. They say the road to Hell is paved with good intentions after all. And after a while, I guess he, like most supes, lost a lot of their morals somewhere along the way…” You said.

“He was telling me about that. Just before we were on the way to fight Homelander.” Butcher finally spoke again.

“As much as I don’t like what Annie said about Soldier Boy, and as much as I think she grew a little bit self centered for it, I’m still glad she stepped away from Vought when she did.” You spoke as you remembered that Annie was still the one that gave you that unreleased photo of Soldier Boy.

“I can tell her heart is still in the right place, so there’s hope for her yet. She’s just got a bit of growing up to do.” At this, Butcher only hummed.

You sighed a little, ready to get out of the car. It felt like you had been driving for most of the day, but really it’s only been about two or three hours, “How much longer ‘till we get to Mallory’s?”

“Won’t be too much longer.” Butcher said, starting to get short again.

When you glanced over, you saw that he wasn’t in the right shape and you noticed that something seemed to be leaking from his ear. Your frowned a little.

“Is that from the temp V you’ve been taking?” You asked and pointed at your own ear.

Butcher glanced at you and he touched his own ear. He glanced down at his fingertips and muttered a curse as he wiped the residue on his pants. Lovely.

“Yeah.”

“You must’ve taken a lot of those doses, huh?” You asked.

“Eh, mistakes have been made. I’m just glad the Kid didn’t take anymore. It would’ve killed the little fella.” He insisted.

“So… what made you protect him? Isn’t that kind of out of your character?” You inquired, which caused him to shoot a glare at you.

“I’m not that bad of a guy either ya know. I’m doing this with the whole, Hell with good intentions thing you were talking about.” He commented as he looked back at the road.

“But anyway.. Hughie reminds me a lot of somebody I knew.” He finally answered your question after a few minutes. You smiled a little to yourself, knowing Butcher couldn’t have been that bad of a guy deep down.

“Friend?”

“Family member… brother.”

You frowned a little, getting the feeling from the way Butcher went stoic with his facial expressions that something bad must’ve happened. You glanced down at your hands, “I’m sorry.”

“Ain’t nothing to be sorry for. Only thing that can fix anything is a Time Machine at this point.” He told you, though the comment didn’t make the frown leave your face.

“So how long do you have left?” You asked, getting the feeling the temp V may just be costing the man his life.

“Doctor’s say I’ve got about 18 months, that’s if I’m lucky. Which so far in life, I haven’t been so lucky.”

“I’m sure Hughie may be able to help you find some kind of cure. Plus you’ve got Frenchie who’s apparently one Hell of a chemist.”

“I haven’t told the lot of them yet. And I don’t plan on it.”

“You know Hughie’s going to be crushed if you don’t say anything to him and he finds out some other way.” You reminded and Butcher shook his head.

“I got him wrapped up in this mess from the start. I’ve dragged all of them through the trenches, so most of them may even be glad to hear I’ll be dead and out of their lives for good.” Butcher said.

“That’s awfully pessimistic of you.” You replied and he gave a slight shrug.

“It’s the truth though. Not much helpin’ that one.”

You looked out of the window again when the conversation didn’t go any further. But then after a few minutes, the two of you made it to a house that must’ve been Mallory’s. Butcher pulled into the driveway and the both of you got out of the vehicle.

“Look’s like she’s not here.” Butcher said when he noticed there weren’t any vehicles, and he remembered this was the last place she was when she was still looking after Ryan.

“Still, she’s bound to have some sort of notes, maybe even a computer so we can look through her emails and see what we can find. If she’s not here, there are always other ways to find out where she’s keeping Soldier Boy.” You insisted, hearing Butcher sigh you walked up to the door.

You noticed there’s a padlock on the door and you lifted a brow as you tried to think of what sort of codes to try. As you started to press some of the buttons, you heard the shattering of glass. You stood upright and looked around, but the next thing you knew, Butcher was opening up the door from the inside so you could come in.

“You’re in a rush, right? Let’s get this over with. Pressing buttons and solving puzzles won’t get you anywhere fast.” He said and you smirked a little.

“Let’s see what we can find.”

Ben woke up yet again feeling drowsy as Hell. He honestly had no idea at this point how long it’s been since he’d been taken. He stopped counting the hours, especially since he couldn’t when he was blacked out some of the time because of the damned gas or whatever they were putting in him.

He felt drained, but at this point it wasn’t a new feeling. It was still a humiliating feeling though. When he finally opened his eyes again and glanced down ward, he saw someone was drawing blood from him. As much as he wanted to move his arm away, he couldn’t because they put more restraints on his arms as a precaution from last time he was able to get one of his arms free.

“What have the results been so far?” Ben could hear a familiar voice question.

He slowly looked over and saw Grace was standing behind the woman taking his blood. The bitch looked even worse up close. He couldn’t say anything though. Mask and all.

“Nothing. I’m getting to understand why the Russians just put him away. Pretty much nothing can kill him and we aren’t making much progress with finding any other weaknesses.”

“And you’re taking his blood, why?” Mallory inquired.

“We’re hoping to see what kind of genetic weaknesses he could have and we need his blood to do some tests for that.” The doctor said.

Ben winced when he felt yet another needle in his arm and he assumed they were taking more blood from him. He tried to jerk his arm away but that did nothing to help him.

“What other procedures will you be performing in the meantime while you wait for the blood tests?”

“We’ll be seeing different ways the Novichok and maybe some other vapors can effect him. Maybe we can use that to kill him rather than using the radiation like they did in Russia.”

That sounded like it would be a painfully slow process. All the Novichok did was make him feel sleepy, almost like an anesthetic. But if he were to die in his sleep, Ben supposed he’d take that over a painful and torturous death.

“You know, maybe we can save some of the blood. If we can use his genes, maybe we can make a different hero. One that’s better than Homelander. Raise him up to take Homelander down.” Mallory suggested.

“Work for us? They’d be labeled as just another super terrorist or supervillain or whatever the term is. Are you sure that would be a good idea?”

“If we can shut down Vought once and for all, then anything would be worth it.”

Ben couldn’t stand for it. He wouldn’t let his DNA be used for someone else’s experimentation. Especially not after the last child turned out to be such a damned disappointing excuse to be called his son. He wouldn’t let that happen again.

“No…” He managed to speak and Mallory looked over at him.

“No what? I don’t think you have much control over what we do here.”

“Do not.. make another kid. Not like that bitch Homelander…”

Mallory heard the comment coming from Soldier Boy. She was almost amazed that he could even gather up the consciousness to form a sentence with how much Novichok they were gassing him up with. She hoped he wasn’t growing some sort of immunity to it. That would be disastrous.

“Trust me, Soldier Boy… if we do find a way to make a child from your DNA, the last thing we want is another Homelander.” She said, but she could tell the thought wasn’t comforting to the fallen hero. Not that it was intended to be a comfort anyway.

“It won’t be like you or Homelander. Maybe it’ll be even stronger than Homelander’s so called son, Ryan.” Mallory shrugged and that was when her phone began to buzz.

She pulled her device from her pocket and looked down, realizing there was an alert from her last residence.

Her eyes widened when she saw the security footage. It was not only the familiar face of Butcher breaking one of her windows to get into her house, but he was working with none other than Quake.

Grace could see from the phone they were looking for something. When Grace watched you look through her office area and she saw you open up her laptop, her stomach dropped. She didn’t know how quickly you’d be able to find this lab, but Mallory knew it would only be a matter of time before you’d be on your way here.

“Keep him sedated.” Mallory said as she turned on her heel while she was about to walk out of the door.

“What’s happening? It’s not like he’s going anywhere.” The doctor said and Grace looked back at Soldier Boy.

Once they made eye contact, Ben knew something must’ve happened. He smirked when he saw a glimpse of weakness in Grace’s eyes, a glimpse of fear.

“We may need to move him. My last location’s been made.” Grace said and walked out of the room.

The smirk remained on Ben’s face as he looked back up at the ceiling. If his assumptions, his hopes even, were correct… you’d be there to get him out of this Hell-hole in no time.

You saw the information on the laptop screen and you smirked before you looked over at Butcher who was just looking over your shoulder.

“I take it you’ve found it?” He asked.

“Yep. Let’s head out. If I know Mallory and her security plans… she may already know we’ve been here.” You commented and wrote down the address. Then you folded the paper in your hand and stood upright.

“We need to move now before she tries to move Soldier Boy.” Butcher nodded before he turned on his heel and headed for the door that’s been left open.

With that, you and Butcher both left the house and rushed to the car because the two of you could hear sirens in the distance. Mallory must’ve sent some kind of security to her home or something because of the break in so now it was time to haul ass.

Neither of you really bothered to buckle up and Butcher started the car and drove off. Meanwhile you grabbed your phone and started typing in the address on the GPS so Butcher could head that way.

You could tell Butcher was speeding with how you felt like you were about to sink into the seat as he took off. The sirens were close for a moment but as Butcher drove the sirens started to sound like they were getting further and further away.

Once you put the location in the GPS and put the phone on the little phone stand, you looked in the passenger mirror, “Do you think we lost them?”

“Ain’t no tellin’ so we may have to take advantage of our other precautions… check the glovebox.” Butcher told you so you opened it up and saw a gun.

“Let’s hope we’ve lost them.” You said, not sure of your aim with a gun and if you could get their tires or if you’d end up missing them and hitting someone else. Boulders you could handle, guns? Not so much.

But unfortunately, you could hear the sirens again and they were gaining on you pretty fast. You looked in the passenger mirror again and you felt a little uneasy.

“Quake, you’re gonna have to use that bloody thing if they get any closer to us. And from the looks of it… they’re coming pretty quick.” Butcher said and you looked down at the gun in your hand.

“Aim for the tires and you should be fine..” You whispered to yourself and you made sure the safety was switched off and you carefully got out of the seat and tried to steady yourself, though it wasn’t so easy since the road was starting to get a little bumpy.

You leaned out of the window and faced behind you. Sure enough, some cars were gaining speed behind you. You tried to steady your breathing while you lifted the hand that was holding the gun and aimed forward for their tires.

You pulled the trigger the first time and flinched when you heard both the gunshot and the tire blow on the first car. Your eyes widened when you saw the first vehicle struggle to keep control and they went off the side of the road.

“And you thought your aiming was bad. Now knock the dust off those other cunts.” Butcher said from the driver’s seat and you nodded to yourself and you pulled the trigger again, then again, taking care of the other two cars. You saw as the front of the two cars met and you could tell they were totaled with the way the airbags went off.

You felt a hand at the back of your shirt to pull you back in, though you realized it was just Butcher. You thanked him and switched the safety back on the gun and put it back in the glovebox. You ran a hand through your hair before you glanced over to the phone, looking to see how long it would be until you’d get to your destination.

“You think Soldier Boy will still be there if Mallory knows we’re on the way?” You questioned, trying not to doubt now of all times.

Butcher shrugged, “We’ve already made it this far. We won’t know if he’s there until we get there.”

After about ten more minutes, you finally arrived at your destination. Butcher went for his little black bag and you knew the V was in it. You put a hand over his and he looked at you.

“What?”

“You’re already dying. Don’t make the process speed up. The only supe that’s in there is Soldier Boy and he’s incapacitated.” You said and you reached into the glove box and pulled the gun out.

“Stick around for Hughie for as long as you can.” He looked at you with an oddly soft look, uncharacteristic of him and you didn’t like it but you could tell he was at least trying to let your words set in. You knew he cared for Hughie a lot, and he was kind of the only voice of reason Butcher seemed to have. It kept Butcher human in a way.

But you couldn’t be sentimental much longer after that.

The both of you got out of the car and they already knew you were coming. Some of the guards were already holding up their weapons and you raised up your hands as a wall of rock and dirt appeared between you and Butcher and the guards. Then with a pushing motion, the wall you created plunged forward and knocked all of the guards down.

When that happened, you already started to feel a little lightheaded. You supposed you weren’t completely at full capacity after the incident at Vought’s tower. But you couldn’t focus on that right now. You had to get Ben out of there. The sooner, the better.

You lifted a boulder and you threw it into the door, breaking a gaping hole into the building and you and Butcher came in. Butcher started shooting at even more of the guards. It was nice to know that even if he didn’t have much of a choice in this matter, he still had your back to a certain extent.

When you caught a glimpse of some people rushing down the hall across your path and you had a feeling you ought to follow them. You bit down on your bottom lip before you started running into that direction.

“What’s happening?” You heard someone call.

“It’s Soldier Boy. He’s trying to break free again. He’s already snapped the leather straps on one of his arms again.”

“Who the hell was watching him?!”

You didn’t care to hear the rest of that conversation because you knew they’d try to get Ben back into that vault. So you followed them and you slammed your fist against the floor.

“W-What was that?!”

“Quake! She’s here!” One of the scientists said and when you looked up you saw the look of terror on their faces. You smirked a little before you put your hands in the crack in the floor you created before you pulled your hands apart, thus splitting the floor open and they fell into the hole. You left it opened so they could at least try to get out on their own.

Then you ran to the other end of the hall, desperately looking for any sign of Ben.

You could feel something tickling your nose and rolling down and as you ran, you lifted a hand to your nose and looked down. You noticed the blood. “Fuck, not now.”

You shook it off and you rubbed your nose before you continued running. That was when you ran past a window where a light was beginning to glow. You opened the door and you saw that some scientists were frantically trying to keep a mask over Ben.

“Ben!” You exclaimed and you caught a glimpse of his gaze. Your eyes locked and then you diverted your attention to the scientists who were working but some of them went to you and they were coming towards you.

They were trying to corner you and you glanced around to see what exactly you could do but then you saw a scalpel. You picked it up and you started stabbing the scientists. As they cried in pain while gripping their arms or sides, you lifted another hand and twisted your wrist a little to try and take a chunk of the wall closest to them and you pushed them out of the room.

The last two scientists that were once hovering over Ben were coming at you. But then your vision was starting to get blurry no matter how hard you were trying to focus as they were coming at you. One of them tackled you to the ground and you were trying to fight them off with the scalpel.

One of them managed to take the scalpel from you and they held it up against your throat but then before you knew it, they went flying somewhere and you thought you heard some kind of crash. Sounded like one of them landed on a table or something, but you couldn’t really be sure.

But when you looked up, you saw Ben was the one hovering over you.

“Y/N, come on. Wake up. You can’t black out now.” You could hear his voice, hearing a twinge of concern and you knew he was right. This wasn’t over yet.

You could tell from the slight strain in his voice he must’ve gone through some sort of Hell of his own these past couple of days. But you couldn’t focus on that right now. It was getting harder to focus on anything but you started to get up and you felt Ben’s hand grip your arm as he basically dragged you up from the ground.

“How are you feeling?” He asked you and you nodded your head slightly, not wanting to move it too much because you felt like your head would explode if you did.

“Fine. Let’s get out of here.” You said and as you were rubbing your eyes to try and get them to focus again, Ben must’ve taken one of the doctor’s scrub pants because when you opened your eyes again, he had a pair of those light blue pants on and some poor guy was sitting there with nothing to cover his lower half.

You and Ben rushed out of the room and you could hear some gunshots.

“Come on, we have to find Butcher.” You said.

“Wait, you brought that asshole with you?” Ben asked.

“Ben, I had to. He was the only one that I could get to tell me where Mallory lived so I could even find this place. Can we talk about that later?” You said.

The two of you began running and that was when you saw a glimpse of Mallory trying to get out of the building and you glared, “Oh Hell no.”

Just as she made it outside, you rushed outside as well. Then you lifted your hands and several boulders appeared from the ground and you used them to crush each and every car that the woman could have possibly used to escape. There were about six vans, three cars, and two cargo vans that must’ve been used for the equipment they used to torture Ben. Every one of them were nothing but useless car parts now.

You saw Grace look back at you before she tried to run off and you clenched your fist and pulled your hand to yourself. Just as you did, the earth rose up and grasped Grace before pulling her to yourself. You rotated your wrist and the earth moved to make the old woman face you.

“I thought of all people, you’d know how much Soldier Boy meant to me. You even worked with me to bring Vought down just to prove they were the ones behind his whole so called death charade. To think you’d be one of the ones that would try to take him from me again.” You said and Mallory looked at you.

When we figured out what we needed to, we would have given him up.” Mallory said and you scoffed.

“If it were up to you, you would have given me a rotting carcass.” You continued.

“How far did you get, huh? What exactly have you found?” You asked and she shook her head.

“I haven’t found anything other than the Novichok because of Frenchie.” She said and you glared as you tightened your fist, causing the earth to act as an iron maiden, threatening to pierce the old woman’s body.

“I swear! Radiation does nothing but strengthen his energy blasts. Vapors just act as an anesthetic to keep him stabilized. That’s all I know.”

“Good… that’s the last thing you’ll ever find out about him.” You promised and with a snap of your fingers, the spikes went through Mallory’s body. She didn’t even have the chance to scream before the life left her eyes.

When you released the earth’s grip on her body, she plopped to the ground almost like a sack of potatoes. She was nothing but a bloody mess with holes in her clothes where her wounds were.

“Y/N! What did you do?!” Butcher called out.

When you turned around, you saw both Ben and Butcher walking forward. But everything that’s happened in the last several moments took a lot from you. The blurriness returned and that was the last you remembered.

Ben’s eyes widened when he saw you start to fall and he started running to you.

“Fucking Hell.” Ben said as he caught you just in time, knowing you must’ve overdone it. Your recovery time must’ve gotten longer since the tower. This whole rescue thing didn’t help at all.

“She bloody killed Mallory!” Butcher exclaimed and Ben glared.

“Like you’ve never killed anyone before.” Ben reminded.

Ben noticed Butcher went over to the woman and watched as Butcher sighed a little.

“She was ready to see her family though. She’d been ready for a long time.” Butcher said and Ben just let out a hum, not really interested as he looked down at you.

He put his hand on the pile point in your neck and let out a breath of relief. Then, Ben looked over at the building that had kept him the past several days. He carefully laid you down on the ground for a moment before he focused his energy to his center again. Afterwards, the next thing he knew there was another explosion and the building and everything inside was destroyed.

“You’ve gotten better at that, haven’t you?” Butcher said and Ben looked over at the man in the coat.

“I guess.” He said before Ben turned his attention back to you. He knelt down at your side before he took you into his arms again and he stood up. He felt the way your body leaned into his chest and he was honestly glad you found him. But he needed to get you some place safe so you could recover.

“You think she’ll be alright?” Butcher asked as he walked over but Ben could sense the sort of caution Butcher had.

“You know I’m not a ticking time bomb, right? Yeah, she’ll be okay. Just need to get her somewhere safe so she could rest up.” Ben said.

Butcher rubbed the back of his neck. A part of him didn’t want to help Soldier Boy since he would have killed Ryan if he had the chance, but aside from the threat you made, you were alright for a supe he supposed. You weren’t his favorite person in the world, but you did promise to keep Soldier Boy accountable and you said you’d stay away from everyone’s families if you got Soldier Boy back.

“Come on… I know a thing or two about stealing cars. I’ll give you a card and you can get her to a hotel to rest up.” Butcher said.

Ben looked up at Butcher, almost wondering if this was some kind of joke or if this was some trick. Could you blame him for being hesitant when the man turned on him back in the tower?

“Why? I didn’t kill Homelander and Y/N killed your little friend.” Ben said.

“If she can keep somebody like you in line when you can’t be killed, then we need her around. The world does. Just don’t let anyone here catch you around. Especially MM. He still wants to kill you.” Butcher said.

“Now are you coming or not?”

Ben was still skeptical about this whole thing, but he knew he didn’t have any other choice. So he nodded and he carried you out to Butcher’s car and the three of you rode somewhere to try and steal someone’s car from some gas station or something.

Ben was sitting down beside you on the bed while you rested. By that time, Ben had already used the card to buy himself some clothes so he wasn’t wandering around in scrub pants. He was wearing some t-shirt and some sweatpants and he had some socks on his feet.

Other than that, he hadn’t left your side. He wanted to make sure he was there for you whenever you’d wake up. Although he knew it may take a little longer than he wanted to. Still, it had been several hours since the both of you left Mallory’s little lab or whatever. It couldn’t be too much longer now, could it?

He gazed at your figure and he reached out to brush a stray hair away from your face. Then he moved to reach for the remote on the night stand so there would be some kind of background noise rather than the silence.

Ben looked over at the television and noticed some trailers for some new movies were out. He rolled his eyes a little. There were times where he got really tired of seeing supe movies. So Ben used the remote to try and find something worth watching. Then he saw a black and white film, something that took him back in time.

He recognized Clark Gable and Doris Day on the screen and it made him smile when he was able to at least recognize those faces, even if they weren’t exactly his favorite actors. The movie was apparently called Teacher’s Pet when he saw the title on the screen before it flashed away.

Ben started growing a little more interested in the old movie, there was something about it that felt more familiar to him. Maybe it was because it was something from a familiar time.

“You know, I loved Clark Gable back in the day.” Ben heard a familiar voice say and when he looked down, he saw your beautifully colored eyes opened and on the screen.

He smiled as he turned the volume down since the television switched to some adds now and he turned to face you, “You’re awake.”

“How long was I ou-“ He interrupted you with a kiss, unable to wait any longer.

He could hear you chuckling against his mouth and he slowly pulled away and he looked down at you, “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing…. I’m just glad to see you too.” He heard you say and he grinned before he cupped your face in the palm of his hand.

“You over did yourself again.” Ben stated.

“Twice.” You answered.

“I know. You wanna tell me about the tower?” He asked and you shook your head a little.

“Not much to tell. You went out the window, I went to panic mode that switched to some kind of rage mode. I’m surprised I was awake right after. I looked for you but realized I hat to run. Found some abandoned building to crash in and I crashed there for a while. The first two days I felt like I’d puke if I even thought about standing. By day three I was able to at least walk.” You said and Ben sighed.

“You really shouldn’t use your powers for a while.”

“Since when did you become a doctor?” He heard you ask and he saw your smile.

“I’d make a pretty shit doctor. But I’d rather not watch you black out again.” He admitted and you nodded before he felt you move closer to him, so Ben wrapped an arm around your smaller frame.

“What about you? How are you feeling?” Ben heard you question and he smiled a little. But then he remembered some pain killers or whatever other kind of drugs Butcher handed him before he went back to his little group.

“I’m fine. A hell of a lot better now that I’m away from that place. But here, take this. Butcher said it’s supposed to help with whatever migraine you might get.” He said and handed you some water and a couple of pills.

He watched you sit up and you took the pills before you started drinking some water.

“How long have I been out?” You finally asked him and Ben shrugged a little.

“Several hours.”

“So… what do we do from here?” He heard you ask and he chuckled a little.

“I thought you would have thought about it a little more. What’s the situation with your house? Couldn’t we just go back there?” Ben asked but then he watched you shake your head.

“No, Vought got to it and destroyed pretty much everything. Honestly, I think our best bet may be leaving the country.” You admitted and Ben frowned at that idea.

“You really think we have to go to that extreme? Mallory remained off the radar for several years and so did you, and you were able to stay in the states.” Ben stated, you hummed a little.

“Yeah, but I’m not sure if I can go into hiding again so soon. Who knows if Vought has people all over the country looking for me. Maybe even you if word were to get out that you’re alive.” You said.

“You act like Vought’s got a shit ton of snipers crawling all over the place.” Ben sighed and you shrugged.

“Who knows… you never know what Vought has up their sleeves. And I really don’t want to stick around and find out.” You said.

“If we’re out of the country for at least a year, maybe two. That way Vought thinks we’re out of the picture and it opens some sort of door for us to come back. You know they’re all about their fake deaths for supes they lose or force into retirement. Until then, maybe we can travel. It could be really fun.” You continued.

“Traveling.. might sound alright for a while. At least until things quiet down a bit. People already think I’m dead because of Vought I’m sure.” Ben commented and he watched you nod, confirming his statement.

“So where do you think we should go first?” You asked and Ben felt you place a hand on his own, causing him to grin as he intertwined your fingers.

“As long as we aren’t in Russia, I’ll be happy.” Ben reminded.

“Well, I kind of figured that would be a given… what about Ireland?” You suggested and Ben thought about it for a moment.

“You know what? I think that sounds like a great idea.”

Ben watched the way you smiled softly and he leaned down and placed a soft kiss on your forehead while you snuggled closer to him. He looked down at you, loving the fact that you were in his arms again.

“Thank you.. for coming and saving me.” He whispered and you hummed softly.

“Ben, that’s not anything to thank me for. When you love someone, you’d do anything to make sure they’re safe. I lost you once when you went out of the country, then again at Vought when Queen Maeve pushed you out of that window. I couldn’t lose you again after I just got you back.” You insisted.

Ben’s gaze softened. If he wasn’t mistaken, that may have even been the first time you said you loved him, even if it was in some sort of descriptive way. He knew you loved him based on the letters you’ve written him over the years, but he’s never heard you actually say it.

“God, you’re nothing like Crimson Countess, are you?” Ben chuckled and you rolled your eyes.

“I don’t think I could hate you nearly as much as she did.” You replied, he hummed as he looked down at you, observing your features.

“My world would crumble if you hated me half as much as she did. Then it would completely disappear if anything were to happen to you, if I lost you.” He admitted.

There was a change in the dynamic between the two of you in that moment, a shift in the atmosphere in a way. It was something the two of you hadn’t been able to sit and relish in ever since he came back. The two of you had been so preoccupied with his mission of killing the members of Payback, then the Homelander fiasco, then you rescuing him from Mallory’s lab.

“You know… when I woke up and heard the TV… a part of me wondered if everything that’s happened this past week and a half has been a dream.” You admitted.

“How do you mean?” Ben said gently.

“I mean… You’ve been gone for so long… I spent years in my house writing all of those letters. I’ve spent countless nights dreaming of what it would be like if you were to come back. This whole endeavor… A part of me thought after Mallory’s lab, that was just the end of another dream. A part of me wonders if I’ll ever get over the surrealism.”

Ben chuckled, “You really must’ve worn yourself out if you’re still thinking it was all a dream after this whole time.”

“Well, Ben… why don’t you show me how real all of this is?” You asked him, then a smirk started to appear on Ben’s face.

“With pleasure.” Ben said as he leaned down for a kiss. A kiss that would surely take your breath away and show you that this was reality. That this would be your new reality for the rest of your life and that you’d never lose him again.

After so many decades of being away from Ben, you knew what it was like to wander the earth as if you’d lost your other half. You knew how it felt to be so alone for so many years. You’ve felt out of place for so long but with Ben in your grasp again, you felt whole, complete. It was a happiness you hadn’t felt in so long and you were glad you finally had the man you loved beside you again and you couldn’t wait to see how the next several decades would treat the both of you.

It would certainly be an adventure, one you were more than eager to share with Ben for the rest of your life.

Tag List:

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swan2swan · 3 months ago

Text

So. In final thoughts:

My goodness, "Hidden Adventure" was a blessing. The actual possibility of experiencing a fatality on the kids made Tarbosaurus feel like a top-tier enemy (as well as several other menaces), and the decisions and arguments they made really added weight to the fact that they survived: obviosuly, making the Right Choices leads to survival, but the interactive nature of the adventure gave a certain respect to the fact that the kids did survive. Even a decision as simple as "Do we leave now, or do we wait to feel it out?" could have life-or-death consequences...and somehow, the kids made the right choice for six whole months.

The premise was so simple but so effective: a disaster struck, the kids are short on food, and they have to go find it. It really taps into the decisions that they would have had to make on the island, and just how far they would ultimately have to go to make it...because with all the main restaurants and fridges smelling like T. res pee on account of her marking her territory, and all off-site food stores rotting after a month or two due to power shortages, relying on nature and dwindling cans of food just isn't enough for six growing teenagers! Of course they would have to take advantage of every wild lead and crazy clue they find in order to survive! None of them know how to farm! They're not ready to hunt and kill dinosaurs to steal their meat, they're not the Animorphs! Yes! That happened! The Animorphs ate a dinosaur to survive one time! It was great! It was weird! It traumatized at least one of them for life! I should finish that series! But the simplicity of its premise made the stakes so believable, that who could help but buy into it?

The characters also shined throughout it, and got to have multiple moments that we didn't see in the main series: Yaz having an apologetic disagreement with Sammy. Ben reassuring Darius that everything will be okay. A choice for Darius to help the group or to help Kenji--and Kenji's reaction to whatever decision is made. Maybe Sammy tries to get Yaz to put a comforting arm around her. Maybe she agrees with Yaz's taste a little too quickly. Ben wants to do what he can for Bumpy; Brooklynn mocks Darius in one moment, then puts all her trust in him the next. The entire story is driven by the kids and their choices, and honestly, that's kind of powerful.

Then there are the dinosaurs, who all appear in ways that feel completely natural. Darius wakes up in a nest, spurring the events of the story, and finds himself stalked by a monstrous beast. A clue from the nest draws the CampFam to the Velociraptor Pen, which Blue still has not fully abandoned; you then decide whether to enter the lair of a far larger, deadlier beast, or to wander into the tunnels and risk getting caught between two titanic rivals. The route to the destination requires following the path of enormous Brachiosaurs, and making it there without being stepped on is not a guarantee. Ultimately, Darius has to figure out how to outwit and elude a ruthless would-be mother of a predator, in an adventure that ends at sunset...but that only means that a new one begins at dawn.

It truly lends itself to the notion that this could have been a serialized show with a new adventure every week, and even though we didn't get that...this felt Close Enough.

I'm going to miss you, Hidden Adventure. May you find a new home somewhere, sometime.

#jurassic world: hidden adventure #jwcc #camp cretaceous #hidden adventure #alas corporations

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strawbeerossi · 2 years ago

Note

I seen that you write angst and I have an idea to share with you because of some personal things that I went through with my own family.

Do you think you can write something about fem!reader and Spencer finding out that one of their children has leukemia? Maybe with death involved to show how intricate this situation can affect families? I know it’s a very loaded topic so I completely understand if you don’t wanna do it but I think you’d master the topic beautifully based off of your angst writing. ❤️

I hope you’re doing alright today, Tay

First off, I’m so sorry for your loss, lovebug. I hope I do this justice and thank you for trusting me with this topic. My DMs are open if you ever need to talk. 🩵

And I'm good today, thank you, honey.

Vilomah: Bereaved Parents

Pairing: Fem!Reader x Spencer Reid

Description: After their son succumbs to his illness, the Reid parents have to navigate the grieving process together along with the team who are there to help.

Content Warning: Child death, leukemia, details about a hospital stay, extreme grief after loss, a child’s funeral, parental grief, mentions struggles with eating, spousal argument, lots of tears, descriptions of feeling empty and depression, the team is there for the Reids, spousal comfort, hurt/comfort.

Word Count: 3.3K

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I cried like a baby writing this. I hope I captured what you were looking for anon.

“Memories saturate my heart and the story of you spills from my eyes.” – Grace Andren

There were many horrors that Spencer faced in his line of work; murderers, rapists, cannibals, the lot of it. He was also faced with grief more often than not, losing Maeve and Gideon being the two most notable times where he was forced to face the fact that everybody dies at some point, no matter who they are.

That wasn’t enough to prepare him for the cruelest thing life had to throw at him. Benjamin was diagnosed with leukemia when he was just two months shy of four-years-old, more specifically it was Chronic Myeloid Leukemia.

The first few months were seemingly okay. He was responding well with the treatment, his little body growing stronger with each passing day. There were plenty of ice cream days to celebrate whenever Ben could function as good as he could before the cancer. Not to mention all the gifts his aunt Penelope would send.

There was hope, so much hope that Y/N and Spencer didn’t let the thoughts of losing their son loom over their head.

That was until he got sick again, this time much worse. It happened suddenly, Ben went from eating some fruit snacks and watching a movie to losing consciousness and growing pale. Spencer never thought he could get home faster than what he did when he got the phone call. Emily sent him home immediately after hearing the news, telling him to get home to his family and that she would check in.

The next few weeks were spent in the hospital, the bright lights being harsh on the eyes of the sore eyes of the Reid parents. Y/N didn’t sleep but for a few hours a night, any small movement or sound from Ben or his machines waking her up. Spencer had grown to not sleep for that long, surviving off maybe an hour a night and ten cups of coffee to push forward the following morning.

However, the suffocating realization of the inevitable was starting to soak in. Spencer wanted nothing more than for his son to make a recovery but as a man of science, that hope dissipated as he noticed the signs. People got better before death, so whenever Ben was showing all the signs of surging, it was enough to kill Spencer.

Even after they had a conversation with their doctor, the woman telling them that surging typically happens one to two days before death, it was like Y/N wouldn’t take that. She would say that he was fine, that he was healing.

It was denial.

The day they lost him was the hardest of them all. The air was suffocating that morning, there being a bitter winter chill. Spencer had gone to work, as usual. There was a case, one about a man who was killing women who resembled his birth mother after she rejected him from her life. He was distracted, like any father on the verge of losing his child would be.

He knew he shouldn’t have gone to work but he was losing his mind, being overwhelmed with the knowledge of the inevitable. He liked to think that if he and Y/N didn’t discuss it, it wasn’t real. As a man of science, he knew the risks of believing something like that.

Still, he gave himself false hope.

However, his heart stopped beating for a split second as he could feel his phone buzzing, the world freezing around him as he couldn’t hear the others around him. He knew what this call was. It took JJ shaking Spencer’s shoulders to snap him out of his thoughts. “I have to go.”

Making it to the hospital, he dreaded going inside. However, he was running through the hospital doors not bothering to check in at the front desk as he was going as fast as his legs could carry him to reach his son’s hospital room.

Judging by the heart wrenching screams of agony from his wife on the other side of the door, Spencer knew what to expect as his shaking hand was opening the hospital door. The sight of his wife cradling their son was enough to make him drop to his knees.

The nurses and doctors looked at the small family, feeling the sting of heartache as they’d gotten to know the Reid’s over the past year.

Spencer’s legs were like jelly, the tears cascading his face being enough where he was sure he could fill up the hospital room in tears, enough to drown in. They were able to stay as long as they wanted to, even if it was hours later.

“Do you have his blanket?” Y/N asked, voice raw from the screaming and uncontrollable sobbing from before. “I don’t want him to get cold..” She whispered, looking at their son who looked like he was sleeping against his father’s chest. “In the bag.” The words were shaky, the father keeping his son close while letting his forehead rest against Benjamin’s smaller one.

After they were laying the little boy down again, Y/N was slowly putting the blanket over the child before she was leaning down to kiss his forehead, which had begun to grow cold from the hours his parents took to say goodbye. The parents clung to one another as they were being forced to walk out of the hospital.

After that, their life lost all its color. Waking up to an alarm rather than to a happy little boy jumping on their bed just wasn’t the same. There was no laughter in the house, no warmth. The atmosphere was just as cold as the weather outside. No matter how many days that Penelope came over with baskets filled with small goodies to try and lift their spirits, or how Luke would come by to check in and bring food over that the two parents just couldn’t stomach.

The day of the funeral was when every ounce of denial was fizzing away. Next came anger. Y/N was moving a bit slow, honestly not wanting to rush and be greeted with the sad looks of their friends and family. Spencer was ready twenty minutes prior, wanting to rush the grieving process and just accept everything immediately, even if it was impossible.

“Please hurry up.” His voice was laced with irritation, making wife look up from her shoes as she was playing with the strap. “I am hurrying..” She spoke softly, a frown on her face as she slowly got the shoes on. “You don’t have to have an attitude, by the way.”

That was the start of something ugly.

“Well, you don’t have to take thirty years and expect Benji to walk through the door.” The words were deep cutting, very uncharacteristic of the loving man she married.The words had his wife stunned in place, her mouth falling open. “You don’t have to be an asshole and keep reminding me of where we are going.” She spat, moving to brush her hair back before standing.

“You can’t keep acting like things are going to change. He’s gone, Y/N. No matter how bad we want him back, we will never get him back.” They were growing angry at one another at the wrong time. Before the yelling could start, there was a soft knock on the door. With a soft sigh, Spencer was turning around and heading to the sound of the soft knocking.

The sight behind the door was enough to make his heart clench. There was Derek, the man offering a sad smile. “Hey, kid. I came to pick you two up. How’s the missus doing?” He asked, chuckling as Spencer was rushing to tightly hug his best friend, his hand slowly patting the younger male’s back. “Hi Derek.” Y/N offered a weak smile once she was closing the bedroom door.

“Hey mama.” His voice was soft and careful, heading over to wrap his arms around the woman before kissing her cheek. “I was thinking that after everything, we could all go out to lunch.” He wasn’t stupid, he could tell that the two parents were neglecting themselves, he’d talked to the team.

This was a sensitive time, so he understood. However, he wasn’t going to sit idly by either. He’d be damned if he let them both slowly waste away. Benjamin sure as hell wouldn’t have wanted that.

“I don’t know, Derek. I don’t think I can deal with everyone looking at us with pity. You know how many people have told me that they hugged their babies tighter because of this situation? It hurts. Not nearly as helpful as people think..” The woman spoke while slowly rubbing her face.

“It’ll just be us. The team, our family.” He attempted to coax both parents, the two not being able to get out of it in the end.

The three eventually made it to the graveyard where they were confronting the one thing that they didn’t want to face. The Reids were approaching the plot that they’d purchased for the family, Y/N having to collect herself at the sight of the coffin waiting by the open plot.

“There you two are,” Penelope looked like she’d been sobbing already, her arms wrapping tightly around both parents. That was where the floodgates broke, both of them tightly clutching onto the blonde enough to suffocate her.

The ceremony was beautiful, despite the flood of tears and pain deep in the chests of all that were closest to the child who they were laying to rest. It was something honorable, Benji even having his uncle Aaron there to say a final goodbye. Even surrounded by love, there was still an emptiness, a void that would never be filled.

What came next made things worse, the parents having to say goodbye as soon as the casket was being lowered in its plot, Y/N and Spencer wrapped up in one another’s embrace while their hands were clutching each other’s clothing. The wife was letting her head rest against her husband’s shoulder, their tears soaking one another’s clothes and hair.

It was just them now, with the ghost of their sweet angel who would keep a watchful eye over his parents, whether they knew it or not.

Dave was approaching the parents, his hand resting on Spencer’s shoulder as he cleared his throat to catch their attention. “I want you both to know that I will be here for you both, always.” David Rossi, the father of the team, it seemed. As well as being uncle Dave to all the kids, Benji included.

“I heard that you two agreed to come to lunch.” He spoke softly, eliciting a small smile from Y/N. “We are.” She said softly, truly unable to say no to him. “We are having it in my backyard. Why don’t you two ride with me?” He suggested, making both Spencer and his wife look at one another.

They weren't getting out of this, so they complied and followed behind David.

The only problem was that so many amazing things happened in that backyard, Benji’s baby shower being one of them.

“Baby Reid is getting so big,” JJ gushed, her hand on Y/N’s swollen bump as the woman laughed in content. “Isn’t he? He’s also been kicking the hell out of my ribs, I feel like he's punishing me.” Y/N joked.

Finding out that she was pregnant was the best thing that ever happened. Of course, there were jokes of Spencer and Y/N not even waiting a year after they got married before she was already pregnant.

It was funny, really. Spencer was highly convinced that the baby was conceived on the first week of their honeymoon, the two being a little too into that talk while they were in the middle of sex, the filthy words of her being swollen with his baby becoming literal.

Diana was thrilled the moment that she saw her son and his wife on one of their visits, the woman being more thrilled at the prospect of her little Spencer having a child of his own. She would say that she knew before they even told her.

“Mothers always know, Spencer. We are animals, we can feel things.” Were her exact words, something that she said Y/N would understand one day.

“Bella!” David smiled, the term of endearment being a newer one that he used for Y/N after the pregnancy, something about how she looked gorgeous because she was glowing. It was sweet, she had to admit it. “Hi, David.” Y/N grinned, her arms wrapping around the older man in a hug before she was pulling away. “You and Penelope did a beautiful job, by the way!”

Almost as if she were summoned, the bubbly blonde was hurrying over to flash a smile. “There you are my gorgeous girl! How are you feeling?” She asked, her hand cautiously rubbing her baby bump once Y/N gave her the okay.

“I’m doing good, actually. This boy is gonna be the death of me though. I was craving dirt the other day.” Her nose crinkled. “Weirdness. However, this baby is a Reid so that’ll explain it better than anything else.” Penelope joked.

“It’s actually more normal than you might think. One theory links pica cravings to iron deficiencies. Another theory suggests these cravings develop as an adaptive response to the way the immune system changes during pregnancy.” Spencer smiled while letting his arms wrap around his wife from behind, his lips pressing a kiss to her cheek before his hands were coming underneath the heavy bump, lifting it up gently to take some of the pain from his wife’s back.

It was enough to make the woman sigh of relief as her head was tilted back against his shoulder. “You are such a lifesaver.” She breathed while briefly closing her eyes.

Spencer was attentive and loving, paying attention to her much more after the pregnancy was discovered.

This was a dream.

This was a nightmare, the memories rushing back to Y/N as she was walking into the backyard where all those sweet memories lived. It was emotionally draining, so much so that her hand was reaching aimlessly for Spencer’s.

As soon as her husband realized what she was doing, he was slowly approaching his wife and letting his hand tightly grip onto hers. He didn’t realize how bad they needed this, to have a reminder that they still had each other. He figured it was implied but this made a bit of weight lift off his chest.

“I know it may be a bit hard to laugh right now,” Penelope began as she was offering a smile. “But I know how much Benji used to love having dinner with all of us, no matter where we went.” She began, making a soft, sad smile spreading across Y/N’s face.

“So, I figured that I would honor one of my favorite godson’s in the best way possible. Instead of boring adult food, I made extra sure to get the best of the best.” Being a four-year-old, Benjamin was just as picky as the next kid.

“Don’t tell me,” Spencer began, looking over as she was happily showing off the meal she had catered. It consisted of all the essential food groups of a young child; chicken nuggets, macaroni and cheese, and french fries.

Hank, Michael, Henry, the Simmons children and Jack were all over the idea of that. The adults, though, couldn’t help the soft laughter. “Benji would definitely approve.” Y/N offered a soft smile, shaking her head fondly. “Even up until the end, he had to have his nuggets.” Spencer added, a few tears springing up in his eyes at the pleasant memory, even in the darkest time of their lives.

“I don’t want that..” Benjamin wrinkled his nose as he was pushing away the soup that the hospital was giving him, making Spencer look up from his book. “It’s good for you, Benji. Try it.” He urged on, a smile as he put the book down after finding his bookmark.

“Daddy, no. It’s yucky. It smells yucky.” He continued on, the four year old running the spoon through the bowl.

Like his mother, he was dramatic about it, gagging at the mere thought of eating what he was given. “I want chicken nuggets.” He whined out, now looking at his mother, who was sighing in content.

“Take a few bites and try it! If you try it and you don’t like it, I’ll go get you some nuggets. Sounds fair?” She asked, keeping the stern tone yet offering a sweet smile, knowing damn well that he’d get his way in the end anyway. Even if he liked the soup.

“I’ll try it but I might be sick, mama.” He warned, looking at the broth with vegetables before he was taking a good amount on the spoon.

He eyed it over before pushing it into his mouth. Both parents couldn’t help the laughter falling from their lips as Benji pulled a face, looking offended he was even made to try it.

“Blegh! Nasty!” The animated child was pushing the tray table away as Y/N was already getting up to grab her keys. “I’m going! I’m going! Make sure that you watch your daddy, you know he likes getting into too much trouble.”

As everyone had a plate in front of them, everyone was looking at the Reids, expectant of them to get up. Derek was the one who was already making two plates before placing them down in front of the two. “There you are pretty boy and pretty girl, no need to get up.” He knew what he was doing.

Even with the lack of appetite, Y/N was slowly picking up her fork before collecting a bit of the mac and cheese on her fork, slowly moving to push the fork in her mouth. She didn’t realize just how hungry she was before that bite. Of course, barely eating for two weeks would do that to you.

Spencer seemed to be on the same page, the two unknowingly eating like they hadn’t eaten in years. The group said nothing about it, although they shared collective glances and their eyes were glistening over with relief.

They were eating enough to actually keep themselves alive, to keep themselves from falling ill and being stuck in the hospital being fed through IVs. After all they went through, they didn’t need to be in another hospital for a long time.

The rest of the day was spent with their family rather than them being locked up at home, real smiles gracing their features for the first time in forever. Being together in a quiet home was taking a huge hit at their mental health.

This was what they needed. Their full support system.

It was later on in the evening before Y/N and Spencer had gotten home, the two ordering takeout for dinner whenever they arrived at home. The wife was looking over the picture of their family that she had hanging up in the kitchen, a soft smile on her face. He looked so peaceful today, didn’t he?” She asked, her voice soft.

“No more pain, no more weakness.. Just peaceful.” Spencer added on, looking up from his hands. “Y/N.. I’m sorry about what I said earlier. It was horrible to say,” He said as his wife was offering a gentle smile. “I understand. It’s hard right now but.. Spencer, I love you. With every fiber of my being. Please remember that.”

It was what he needed to hear, his head nodding. “I know. I love you so much, baby. Thank you. I’m here for you, even if you just need to cry and be taken care of.” The taller man was standing up before heading over to tightly hug his wife. “You’re so strong. So fucking strong.” He spoke softly while kissing the top of her head.

All they needed to power through this together was each other, they would make it through this for Benji over all else. It was what he would've wanted , their love to persevere.

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delicatereader · 1 year ago

Text

No Way! (part 3) - Anakin x reader

summary: Taylor is onto something, she suspects something between you and Anakin. To prove her theory she makes you sit on Anakin's lap throughout your car ride to a halloween party (with your date)

warnings: y/n sitting on Anakin's lap, nothing much

a/n: this is a very long one. not proof read at all. I don't like this but maybe the party's a bit better. Sorry for dragging the story

➽────────────────────────────❥

You were in your room getting ready with Taylor and Gracie all of you had pretty costumes planned out. Right now, you and Gracie were sat on top of your bed, curled up doing your makeup. Taylor was on the floor trying to find a song to play. After numerous minutes of bickering you (meaning Tay) settle on 'Heaven' by Julia Micheals.

"God Tay! not this again!" gracie shrugs

"What? it's a very good song" Taylor rolls her eyes. You laugh at them quietly, taking a brush out and patting it on some powder.

"You know you could've gone with Anakin..." she slowly speak up

"I'm sorry what?!" you yell in shock

"I mean he's not that bad!" Taylor supports him

"Yes. He is"

"I mean he's kinda mean but that's only on the outside! plus he's really hot!!" Taylor blurts out

You and Gracie turn our heads to Taylor trying to digest her confession

"What?!" Gracie speaks up

"I'm sorry! What! he's your boyfriend's best friend!" you continue

"First of all Obi is not my boyfriend! and second of all I'm stating mere facts" she fights back

"Why are calling him Obi? no one calls him that, eww" you say in disgust

"Anyway, what did you guys talk about in the kitchen then? huh?" she asks suspiciously

"I- I was just grabbing some snacks and he wanted some too" you explain even though you remember exactly what happend in detail.

Taylor hums in response with a smirk, nothing gets pasts her. "Sure sure..."

"Nothing happend! I swear!"

"Whatever, I think ita good that you're going with Harry!" Gracie says with a smile

"Thank you Grace!" you turn your head towards Tay and raise your eyebrows at her

"What! I'm team Skenobi!" she shouts

"I'm sorry what is that?" you ask digusted

"I know I just have to work on my ship name making I guess, but I think you guys are going to have some kind of thing and end up having hate sex" she spills

"I'm sorry what!? you're disgusting!" you react

"We- Well I'm team Crenobi!" Gracie mutters

"Omg!" you snap your head towards her direction

"Mines better, bitch!" Taylor argues back, sticking her tongue out like a child

"Both of you stop! I'm team me. Now get on with your own shit" you yell over the arguments, raising both hands to signal them to shut up

"We'll see..." Taylor whispers before getting to sit on the bed next to Gracie.

You roll your eyes and try on finish your makeup as Gracie and Taylor whisper to each other behind you.

You wonder what she meant by you'll see...

-------------------------------------------------------

After you got into your costumes, the three of you stand infront of the mirror for a final look. Taylor was dressed as a cheerleader in a awfully mini skirt. Gracie decided to go as witch, she wore a long black dress and a witch hat. You were dressed up as Mia Goth from the movie 'MaXXXine', you wore denim short overalls with nothing but a strapless black laced bra to cover you.

As you girls were taking pictures you hear Ben yell from downstairs

"Come on! we have to go!!" Even though he's the good one there's one thing he loves on the planet more than being kind, drinking and he didn't want to be late to it.

All of us run downstairs, Taylor looks up and twirls for everyone to see her costume. Ben's only reaction was a smirk. He was dressed as a cowboy. He walks up to her and raises a hand.

"Howdy ma'am! wanna go on a wonderful ride?" He says pulling her closer.

"Umm sorry who are you?" she instantly let's go of him

Even though it wasn't funny you laughed. You scan the room to see the boys' costumes, Ethan was dressed up as a knight (with an actual armor and all). Anakin was dressed as a professor, he wore a light blue shirt and tucked it in kakhi pants. He also wore the hottest (*sluttiest*) glasses you've ever seen, he was looking super hot.

As you scan his outfit, he walks over to your side looking down

"See something you like?" he mutters looking up at you with a smirk

"Ethan I love your costume!" you speak over him. He scoffs laughing at your attitude. Suddenly, you hear a knock on your door, Harry.

You quickly run to the door and open it.

"Hey!" you greet with a smile

"Hi!" he looks at you with excitement. He scans your outfit as you scan his.

"You look absolutely amazing" he says in awe

"Well so do you, your majesty" he wore the exact same outfit as Prince Eric in The Little Mermaid. He suited it very much. You could feel Anakin's stare on you and him. As you and Harry smile at each other, Taylor clears her throat loudly.

"Oh sorry! come in" you move away from the door

"Oh I brought a friend by the way! This is Eli" a tall figure walks in with a slight smile across his face. He looks like a Lana Del Rey song, he had black rugged hair and black eyes (very seductive).

"Hey" he speaks in a deep voice

"Hi" you greet back

"So you all know harry..." you turn to your group of friends awkwardly

Silence fills the room before getting interrupted by Ben

"So we have a problem..." he spills

"What?"

"Ummm we only have one car-"

"I'm sorry what? how are we gonna get there?" you ask curiously

Ethan quickly takes a head count and then thinks

"I mean there are eight people and it's a 10 minute drive, plus the car is spacious so we can all squeeze in"

"Yeah whatever, if we're not there in the next 15 minutes Stephen is going to murder us" Taylor points out

She was stating facts. Anyone except your group can't be late to his parties

Everyone gets out one by one by to get into the car. You were the last one out as you had to lock the house up. When you went to get into the car you notice the only swat left was Anakin's lap. Ben and Eli were at the front. Gracie and Ethan on the far side, Anakin on the other side and Taylor getting situated on Harry's lap in the middle.

"Sorry!" she shouts at me with a smile. Anakin didn't notice a thing, he was just staring at his hands.

"Just get in!" Ben shrugs

"Just get in..." Taylor repeats after him in a teasing way

You scoff and sit on Anakin's legs.

"Trust me I'm not happy about this either" he whispers behind your ear. You sigh in response.

As the car started moving everyone started talking.

"What do you think Stephen's gonna be dressed as?" Gracie asks

"Probably deadpool, I heard him talking about ordering a costume a few weeks ago" Ben says

"Sounds like him" Harry speaks up

"You're hurting my knees" Anakin mutters under his breath, seeing as how you were sitting at the edge of his knees. "Move back a bit"

"No" you reply

"I'm not going to bite you, unless you want to" he whispers with a smirk. You could feel his breath on your naked back, but you obey him. You shuffle down a bit.

There were a few bumps on the road making you move around a lot, you never though this would affect Ani.

"Stop moving around so much" he whines quietly making sure no one sees him

"What?"

"Stop fucking moving" he demands

You turn around to face and look down to see the bulge you caused

"Oh my god!" you giggle at him

"Shut up" he rolls his eyes as you reach Stephen's house

One by one all of you slide out of the car. Before entering Anakin leans down next to your ear

"You'll regret that" he whispers, talking about the car ride incident.

He straightens back up with a smirk on his face and walks past without even looking.

This is going to be an interesting party...

#anakin skywalker #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker fanfiction #anakin skywalker smut #anakin x reader #hayden christensen imagine #hayden christensen #hayden christensen fanfic #fanfic #hayden christensen smut #star wars #imagine #anakin x you #anakin imagine #star wars anakin #halloween

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foreverreylo · 15 days ago

Text

After almost a year without seeing her, his heart raced as he approached the main door of the event hall. The breakup had been difficult, and Ben was sure wouldn't see Rey anytime soon. But they worked in the same area, and eventually the opportunity arose. He did his best to hide the fact that was desperate to see her. His traitorous eyes, however, searched for her all over the hall as soon as he entered.

The moment his gaze fell upon her, Rey was already looking at Ben, with a neutral expression, very different from the one he was used to seeing in their happy moments. The event took place without incident, as both exchanged furtive glances. Their mutual friends, who knew of the tension between Ben and Rey, waited to see how this story would unfold.

Poe even made a bet with Finn that this breakup wouldn't last the night — he was right. At some point, Ben and Rey met by chance in the garden, starting a hesitant conversation about any subject. But the calm conversation soon turned into an argument, which led them to get closer without realizing it.

As their voices rose, the proximity also made them both very aware of how affected they were, and soon silence fell. They stared at each other with a mixture of anger and desire, then Ben closed the distance, taking Rey's lips, who resisted weakly. The kiss was aggressive, but also full of hunger, and when they broke away, both had teary eyes.

"Has life been better for you?" there was a slight trace of hurt in Ben's deep voice. "Oh, please!" Rey scoffed, throwing her hands up in the air and rolling her eyes in exasperation.

Another moment of silence, and Ben stepped closer again, moving his jaw in that way Rey found adorable, "I miss you..." He sighed, resting a hand on her cheek, and Rey closed her eyes, enjoying the contact, "I missed you too, Ben," she admitted with some obvious reluctance.

His heart pounded uncontrollably as he looked at her expectantly, "We don't have to continue this."

"But we need to make things work properly if we want it to work out.", Rey's hand rested on his cheek, and Ben sighed in relief, pulling Rey into a crushing embrace, "Anything to have you back."

It's good to be home again...

They lingered a while longer, enjoying each other's company, and couldn't help but laugh when they returned to the hall, seeing their friends at the windows disperse. At the end of the event, Rey left with Ben, and after so many nights trying to overcome insomnia, he was finally able to sleep peacefully, with her in his arms.

#reylo #rey #ben solo #kylo ren #reylo au

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watermelonsugacry · 2 years ago

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more zayn and y/n moments?? i feel like they have the most adorable friendship everrr ❤️❤️❤️

love your work ❤️🔥

oh there's so many!

So you all know when the band first started, all Zayn would say is Vas Happening?! Well, YN's thing was always saying Aye Oh!

So whenever the cameras would point to them during their fetus era, he would throw an arm over her shoulder and they'd just yell their sayings super duper loudly while making a funny face.

...

During the band's third tour, the two of them would spend some time with their vocal coach in one of the smaller green rooms to go over their harmonies together.

The song they loved to perform together was Right Now because they shared the chorus.

So when they would hit those harmonies perfectly (like they always did), they would give each other a nod of approval, a smug look on their faces before giving each other a high five.

...

YN knew that while he usually presented himself with a hard exterior, she knew that he was a soft teddy bear once you got to know him. One of the activities that she would partake in with him was art. She knew she was shit at it, but she also knew that he loved it.

So during the long rides on the tour bus crossing from one city to another, sitting next to each other during an album signing/meet & greet, or stuck in their hotel rooms, she'd be there with a piece of paper and some type of writing utensil for them to draw whatever came to mind.

There was even an interview in 2014 when they were doing for their new book "Who We Are" where Zayn spent the majority of the time drawing on YN's arm. With a ball point pen, the beautiful mandalas he drew on her skin left her beaming and utterly speechless.

...

There's no denying the fact that those two were the most fashionable members of the band. With Zayn's cool, suave, bad boy style and YN's good girl aesthetic, photoshoots with them were easy and right on the money.

...

For the Night Changes music video, YN was the stand-in for basically all of the boys (except Liam who actually had his girlfriend on set). With each date, she took on the role with some seriousness, acting as if the boys were really taking her on a date.

For Zayn's part, YN actually dressed in a formal black dress to really get into character.

Needless to say, she really got a kick out of making her usually quiet band member laugh throughout the shoot. Like when Ben Winston directed him to offer her some of his spaghetti, she let out a playful sigh of relief, "Yes please. Do you see the sad fookin' excuse of a salad they gave meh?"

Or when her "ex-boyfriend" interrupted her date with Zayn, she actually played along and had an argument with him with a fake backstory she made up: "Johnathan?! What are yeh doing here? I told you to leave me alone. No, I'm over you. No. I'm sorry but I just can't listen to you rant about your Barbie doll collection any longer!"

And when the ex-boyfriend dumps the food on Zayn, as soon as the director yelled cut!, YN quickly got up from her seat and got all up in the building of a man's face (really his chest from how tall the actor was) and says with a deep voice, "the fook man!" But her facade lasted all but 2 seconds before her and everyone just burst out laughing.

...

Since the band's formation, Zayn always had and continues to have a soft spot for YN.

He still views her as a little sister and while they don't talk as much as they used to during their time in 1D, there's not a single birthday, holiday, anniversary, etc. that hasn't gone by without a text between the former band members.

#1dbandmember!yn #since 2010 series #1d!yn asks #1d!yn

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lurkingshan · 2 years ago

Text

Step by Step Missed Some Steps

Welp, here we are at the end of this show. And it sure did have a finale! That was indeed an episode 12.

Look pals, I’ve been clear about the fact that this show went off the rails for me in the final stretch. The finale didn’t change my view on that, unfortunately — it was, in my opinion, not a good episode of television and not a particularly coherent ending to this story. The time skip served little purpose in terms of character development and as one final hilarious pacing joke, Pat is still somehow 26! But we did get some nice domestic fanfic vignettes and one last bed scene as a parting gift, which was cool of them. I am a simple woman and I was in fact happy to get 30 uninterrupted minutes of domestic relationship fluff. Would I have liked it if the fluff had a stronger connection to an ongoing emotional arc? Sure would, but with this drama I’ve learned we really can’t have it all.

In the spirit of giving this show a fair assessment while also not repeating myself too much or belaboring my criticism, I’m just gonna do a quick rundown of what its attempted big themes were and how successful I thought they were with each major thread, now that we’ve seen the full thing. Shoutout to @waitmyturtles and @neuroticbookworm for talking this through with me and keeping me sane the last few weeks, as well as @he-is-lightning-in-a-bottle, @williamrikers, @wen-kexing-apologist, @colourme-feral, @bengiyo, @colourme-feral and @sunshinesanctuary, all of whom wrote posts I have linked here. This is going to be a critical analysis so if you want to just vibe and bask in the cute feel free to skip reading. :)

The slow burn that never caught fire

Let’s just get this out of the way. This show failed on the romance writing. They did a nine episode slow burn then fumbled the emotional payoff, tacked on a traditional four-act-structure breakup that didn’t fit, and had the wrong person apologize in the final reunion scene. There may have been a lot of sex, but the emotional arc for these two was incoherent and dissatisfying in the end, and I saw nothing in their reunion scene that explained to me why I was supposed to believe they would suddenly be a functional and happy couple. You gotta actually do that character work to sell it, not just tack on some cute epilogue scenes where they are suddenly healthier without showing me how they got there.

But thank goodness for Man and Ben, because they still managed to salvage something out of this mess on the strength of their chemistry alone. I thank them for their service, and I will always treasure the bittersweet arc of those first nine episodes and the exquisite angst of Jeng’s lonely pining. That was good shit.

Pat’s emotional maturity and character growth

Speaking of having the wrong person apologize in the reunion scene, this might actually be the thing I am most frustrated about. I’ve had a somewhat rocky road with Pat in this show, but I’ve wanted to believe in the arguments that his emotional inconsistency was intentional and leading us to some major character development for him. The show almost pulled it out in the final arc and got somewhere on this theme, but they blew it on the dismount.

Because all the ingredients were right there on the table. In episode 11, we saw Pat finally come into his own, both at work and in his relationships. We saw him succeed at work, we saw him grow more confident, we saw him draw firm boundaries, and we saw him call both Put and Jeng on their bullshit. We saw him walk away from these toxic relationships that weren’t serving him, and we were on his side. The finale even opens with him thriving in his new business with Chot! It was a little weird that the show had him suddenly being besties with Put given where we left them in episode 11 (I could see a way for that to happen but the show, as ever, did not do the work and hand waved it away with a time skip, so no points from me) but that’s fairly easy to overlook as long as it serves his arc. When the finale opens our boy is doing well for himself—he has become a successful businessman in his own right—which you would expect to also come with some advancement in his emotional maturity. In those early scenes he seems like he’s finally got a handle on things.

Except that crumbles the moment he sees Jeng again, and he instantly regresses into the same insecure, emotionally erratic, weak-willed youth he was before. We see him repeat all of his old patterns (to the point where it felt almost like intentional callbacks to his scenes from earlier in the series, but that would be such a weird thing to do in this context). He begins doubting himself, he loses emotional control and sobs into his dad’s shoulder, he gets wasted and makes a public spectacle of himself, he randomly decides to get back with an ex who wronged him, and he apologizes to Jeng for standing up for himself and ending their relationship when Jeng was the one entirely in the wrong and has done no work to change anything about his situation or earn Pat’s forgiveness.

And so rather than enjoying the reunion, I was mad when I was watching this scene. Flames on the side of my face. I have no idea what the writer was thinking when they crafted this ass backwards reunion scene, but it did double damage in that it put the final nail in the coffin for two of the show’s major arcs. Impressive in its own way, I suppose!

Filial piety and Jeng’s family expectations

This one truly just has me scratching my head. It feels like they simply…didn’t finish this part of the show? Because they’ve been telling me for 11 episodes that Jeng is broken and crumbling under the weight of his responsibilities to his father’s company (well, if I’m honest, they’ve only been telling us that explicitly for a few episodes, because for the first two-thirds of the show they were telling us he loves his work, but I’m trying to go with fandom interpretations of subtext here) but that he couldn’t simply walk away from this job because he is the eldest son and must fulfill his obligations of filial piety. And that a big part of the reason he fucked things up with Pat was because of that enormous pressure he was under, and he would have to face that and make things right.

So what happened in the finale to continue this storyline? Absolutely nothing! After a two year time skip in which nothing in Jeng’s work or family life changed, Pat randomly decides everything was his fault, actually, and he wants to get back together, and then Jeng simply walks away from this job. Casually strolls into his dad’s office and hands in a resignation letter like it ain’t no thing in a very short, very oddly toned scene in which his dad just kind of shrugs and then tosses the letter in the bin. Jeng even mentions in the next scene with Pat that his dad’s reaction was bizarre. And that’s it! That’s the end of that plot. We go through a bunch more time skips and Jeng did in fact leave that job, nothing else happens, the end.

And look, I’m on record as feeling like this version of Jeng that was so broken he couldn’t see his way out of this situation or be a decent partner to Pat emerged in episode 10 largely out of nowhere, but the show took us down this path, so they needed to stand by it and finish the story. But they didn’t bother. Jeng “I intend to improve myself” Kittipong Attajiranon did nothing of the sort (at least not on screen where we could see it) in either his professional or personal life. Instead his problems just magically solved themselves and we time skipped through him becoming more stable. What am I to make of that? Guess we’ll never know!

Whatever the heck that was with Jaab and Jen

I feel like for this section I should just insert that meme of the blonde lady trying to work out incomprehensible equations, because that’s what it feels like trying to figure out what the point of this storyline was. Jaab appeared on screen in this finale for about two minutes, and Jen didn’t appear at all. The show doesn’t even bother to tell us if they’re together already or if Jaab is going to Japan to try to win Jen back (even though they previously told us he’d be back from Japan by this time), and neither of them is even mentioned again.

For this, they ate up a ton of real estate in the penultimate episode? Make it make sense!

Perils of the closet and homophobia in the workplace

Let’s end this on a positive note, shall we? This is the theme I do think came through most clearly, and they almost pulled it off (but not quite thanks to the baffling end of Jeng’s work and family arc).

We saw Pat and Jeng and Chot all deal with various forms of the closet and homophobia throughout the show. We saw the way that Chot’s partner being closeted with his family hurt Chot, and the relief he felt when he was finally able to be fully open with his love. We saw how Put’s fears about being out with his career hurt Pat. We saw how Jeng’s parents did not fully accept him and how he consequently struggled to be his authentic self at work. We saw Pat express his discomfort with the way media companies exploit queerness for monetary gain. We saw Pat get caught up in an online scandal when his relationships with Jeng and Put were exposed. We saw how all of these gay men were put in the position of working for executives who saw their sexuality as a problem to be crisis managed and a bargaining chip to threaten them with.

And in the finale we got to see Pat and Chot flourishing in their own company, where their queerness was an asset and not a problem, and where they got to set their own rules about how they wanted to work and who they wanted to work with. We got to see Jeng focus on the job he loves most in a setting where he can be his authentic self. Everybody has found a better work life balance. And we got to see all of them happy and in love and thriving. And even though the way they got there didn’t always feel earned, at least we can say they got a beautiful ending free of those burdens.

As a final note, I just want to say how fun it’s been to watch this show along with y’all. We didn’t always agree, but the discussion was always interesting and the experience brought me a lot of joy. The show yeeted itself off a cliff for me in the final stretch but I will always remember the watch experience fondly and y'all will have to pry Man away from my cold dead hands. Onward to the next drama!

#step by step #thai bl #shan shouts into the void

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