#Beltran Be Good ok?

[thegeminisage]

star trek update time! sunday we did voy's "course: oblivion" and "the fight," and last night we did voy's "think tank" and ds9's "penumbra."

course: oblivion (voy):

this one fucking sucked ass

ok, initially, it's pretty exciting, because that demon planet episode was cool, so a sequel is cool! i even like tom and b'elanna's wedding despite thinking she could do way better. and the plot twist was even fun. like, weird, but it's scifi

what i don't understand is the back half of this episode being watching them all die horrible, pointless deaths. like, they're sentient now, yay! they get to go back to nonexistence slowly and painfully and DON'T EVEN. GET TO SEND OUT A PROBE

like, it would have all been worth it if the probe had worked. it would have meant something if they could pass on their experiences or knowledge or helped the real voyager in some way it might have even been better if someone on voyager had realized what the debris was and had a picard-like moment where they were all oh thots and prayers for those guys lol

but instead we got absolutely nothing, which begs the question of why we wrote and shot it

i guess one could argue that they went hard. dragged you to hell. but i didn't want to be dragged to hell in this particular fashion on that particular evening. so.

the fight (voy):

this one actually makes me mad bc it's one of those episode concepts that could have been award-winning and character-defining if they'd done it right, and instead it was absolutely awful. like that episode where Only harry kim goes home. agh.

conceptually, chakotay, who never had a strong desire to connect with his heritage until after his father died fighting cardassians, would be REALLY wound up about his "crazy old man" grandpa refusing treatment for a treatable condition on the basis of spiritual beliefs. like it's just a gene! they repressed it in chakotay! the miracles of modern medicine! if we had focused on that conflict for more than the 60 nonconsecutive seconds we got (and 86'd the racist panflute and all mentions of the phrase "vision quest") that alone could have done wonders for this episode

conceptually the boxing angle is really good too. chakotay TALKS about how angry of a person he was before he came to be on voyager but we never SEE it. he'd be a lot more sexy if they did let him get mad sometimes. robert beltran actually acted during this episode a couple of times, which was big of him considering how bad the script was. he could have killed it if he had the chance (summary of all of voyager robert beltran could have killed it if he had the chance)

the way the aliens communicated was also SO COOL i feel like we were so close

so like, consider the version of this episode that lives in my mind palace:

chakotay has the gene which made his grandpa crazy but they suppressed it in him before birth but being around the aliens reactivate it but we DON'T find that out yet

we see that he has hallucinations and that the hallucinations are the only way to communicate with the aliens and get voyager out of trouble, but he's like weirdly resistant to this idea even though he's down to clown and he won't say why

and the the hallucinations, are, critically, flashbacks of his own time boxing to blow off steam when he was fighting with his dad or after his dad dies (some dark period in his life - if we could swing some kind of fight ring situation to make it Even Worse that would be fun and sexy too). boothby is NOT there, the crew of voyager are cast in roles of people he used to know instead (because i want tuvok to be the one putting his mouthguard in, sue me), and the only one we don't recognize is his grandpa, who is his opponent

and eventually the hallucinations get worse and the EMH figures out the gene thing and chakotay talks about his feelings in front of the emh and janeway like how hard it was that his grandfather wouldn't consent to treatment and how it made him resent his own family/heritage and how it's part of the reason he didn't pick that stuff up until after his dad died because he didn't want to look like that to other people and it's a great monologue but BEFORE HE CAN FINISH he starts hallucinating again and THEN we get the scene of him following his grandfather around through the fog while they both hear voices

and when the aliens finally do get through to him it's with the same method of recycling footage of dialogue from the episode because that fucking ruled but and this is also crucial the only way to let them in is to STOP fighting. chakotay has to stop fighting. the boxing represents the struggle he's having against the gene that makes him hallucinate which represents the struggle he has with his own family/his past regrets and he has to STOP FIGHTING and accept it/them/himself/his own history/you get the idea in order to let the aliens in. AND he can pace around shouting at no one while being terrified because i did like that part too

and then anyway voyager is saved and at the end they resuppress the gene BUT not before he says goodbye/sorry/thanks to his grandfather for helping him communicate with the aliens, even if his grandfather is still only a hallucination

do you see my fucking vision?? do you understand???

think tank (voy):

finally a good fucking voyager episode

i did like all the weird aliens aboard the ship. the whale, the jellyfish, the robot, etc. a v cool bunch

i also liked that they caused the very problem they showed up to solve - though i wish janeway had gotten to yell at them about being frauds and hypocrites and gotten them to change their ways, rather than tricking them into getting obliterated. like tricking them WAS hot but the other way would have been very captain kirk of her, and they were such an eclectic group i was almost sorry to see them go. i kept thinking if they truly loved solving problems they'd do it for the sheer experience, and since that guy was taken AS payment, he could be made to understand how fucked up that was and let seven go. alas.

speaking of seven, the conversation about seven leaving seemed unnecessary considering we've had times when seven has almost left before and we all know they aren't getting rid of a regular cast member in a one-off episode like this. that said i do love how they played up her uniqueness

AND i like that she got to play bait and trick them. her loyalty is to voyager <3

oh yeah and i love that tuvok attempted to do a nonconsensual mind meld this ep. good for him.

penumbra (ds9):

okay i think i'm FINALLY warming up to ezri. and it wasn't even the toxic family episode that did it although that did fuck me up real good it was the fucking. moment she had with worf in that episode i hated where he went "you are dax." they took that whole conversation and turned into an episode, more or less

listen, i've been ezri/quark this whole time, but i did start to think, a few minutes into this episode, how sweet it would be if ezri and worf fell in love again. it's forbidden, and jadzia took that taboo very seriously, but ezri doesn't necessarily have to since she abandoned her family anyway for being fucked up freaks, and it could be INTERESTING, the ways in which she and jadzia are alike and different, and sad, too - how we see worf fight with himself ove rit, because it both is his wife back from the dead, and it also very much isn't. he'd be moving on and not moving on. it's complex. there's potential there

and then they actually did it! i was so shocked! and happy! but also MAD, ebcause i know she's gonna end up with JULIAN, which is the LEAST interesting choice, a country mile behind both quark and worf, which are great choices!! what the fuck!!!! it really makes me wish they'd had longer with ezri and hadn't just fired terry farrell for bad reasons because THIS COULD BE INTERESTING. i see it now! it took them some time to get there but they found the points of interest! they just didn't have time to dig in

on the other side of things, i'm v happy for sisko but like…ggirl…i don't know that i'd accept a marriage proposal from him rn. he's being so weirdly obsessive about his retirement home on bajor and when he talks about the prophets he doesn't make it sound like. like a religion or faith the way kira does. which i sometimes disagree with on the grounds that i despise organized religion (sorry to religious people reading this) but it does make sense for her character. when avery brooks talks about the prophets sometimes he gets that crazy cult light in his eyes. bro.

and since they're just guys who have beef with pah-wraiths rather than the unknowable entities they used to be AND now they're telling him who he can and can't marry it doesn't feel like he was chosen for anything it feels like he got suckered. they created him for whatever reason and now they think they own him and rather than pushing back against that idea every time he goes against what they say they turn out to be right and he looks like a chump for trying to have personal agency. it's Not Great

we left on a cliffhanger which means this is part of the final arc…i'm gonna miss ds9 so much!!!! aughghggh

TONIGHT: ds9's "strange bedfellows" and "til death do us part."

[fantomette22]

And here’s a bloodborne crows headcanons drawing no one ask for!

Yeah I headcanons that some characters used to have some pet crows but it’s mostly a references for my fic verse too.

So I don’t have names for all the crows but I have a couple of ideas already. If you have ideas too pls share I’m listening.

Let’s begin with Cainhurst! 🛡️

📚🦉Ok Beltran from the cut content! Not sure he’s still alive during old hunters time but basically I imagined he was the (first?) crow master of Cainhurst.

🐦‍⬛⚔️Vledemyr my oc, my fav cainhurst knight! The current crow master. (Maria & Annalise’s cousin too) He was the one in charged of them before he become captain of the royal guard, he actually have lots of them (and they all love him a lot) but his very first crow is Corvus, the crow on his shoulder.

👑🕊️Ok so Annalise was offered an Albino crow, because she’s the princess and future Queen you see. *Check notes* hm Yuki is a possible name but idk either smt Japanese or slavic who mean snow or fit with cainhurst aesthetic idk.

👑🐦‍⬛ Ah Charles (oc based on the cainhurst portrait too, king consort when Annalise was Queen). So when he marry her and was crowned he was offered a baby leucistic crow (that’s why it’s brown, it’s a loose of melanine like albinism bur not complete the the eyes aren’t red or the skin pink for exemple), he was so confused about it like you can see XD probably except a hound or smt (in his dream he would have wish for a lion but there’s no lions at Cainhurst since like 60+ years or smt)

🐦‍⬛🌕🐦‍⬛Maria have 2-3 crows (the ones at the research hall you know 😢 minus the one with the guidance rune that belong to Ludwig like you can see) As for the names I was hesitating between Hugin & Munin (Odin’s crows) or Phobos & Deimos (Mars’moon) for the 2 crows siblings (well I hc Maria study astronomy so… heheh also her third one is the one German is holding x) yeah missing a leg I know. Ok also after Maria passed away the crows escape from the research hall and freak Gehrman out! They wanted to say to him hello or called his named and because crows can mimics sound and voices they took Maria’s voice 💀 he thought he was going crazy for a few mins before he found them… but really it annoyed more Laurence XD the crows really went to harass him (they know what’s up. Or didn’t take well he put them in cages or smt, or you know because of Maria. It got to the point Laurence almost wanted them dead 💀

Fortunately Gehrman managed to made them go with the very first official hunter of hunter, he passed to him the mercy blade as well.

🐥Ah Voron my boy! Aka future bloody crow🩸🐦‍⬛ (No I am not detailing the entire backstory here! And yes his name means raven/crow I KNOW!) also the red of the cap don’t appear much sorry… thanks the scan.

✨+Svetta another Cainhurst oc based the painting with her crow, Voron mom yes. Vledemyr is his dad.

👁️I managed to put Micolash & Edgar on the page XD

💣🔥 Ah this one well when we first got into the hunter nightmare there’s a hunter before a gate right? Behind there’s a crow and I noticed the crow attacked the beasts but the hunter and the bird never attacked each other (only the hunter or beast) that’s why I now headcanons that many old hunters had crows too like this one.

🗡️🌕Ludwig & his crow with the guidance rune. One day the old hunters found many dead crows in the forest, not a good sign… Ludwig managed to recover a baby crow an care for it (he was so panicked at first he asked Maria for help so many times XD)

🐦‍⬛Eileen and some crows & the very first official hunter of hunters! (Before her)

🐦‍⬛The friendly crow of hemwick on the top left :3 I hc it’s either the crow bloody crow had or one link with Eileen or either my own hunter.

As for the other names I had in mind : Hrafn, Karasu, Branagan (I think I’m keeping this one as the name of the first crow hunter too)

🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛

Now, you’re gonna ask me why didn’t I just named one « Kuro » (black color in Japanese) well, I’m keeping it for the horses’ names of Cainhurst!!!!

[joju-but-trek]

Star Trek: Prodigy Season 2, Episode 1: Into the Breach, Part 1

Somehow, Robert Beltran has returned.

I didn't know that Netflix released Prodigy until about an hour ago, but I'm glad they did. For people who missed the entire saga, two years ago Paramount released season 1 of an excellent Star Trek series called Prodigy. The pitch was that it was a group of (mostly) kids from the far side of the galaxy escaping slavery to come to the Federation, and it was excellent. The characters were compelling, the stories were fun, and it was pitched as an entry to the franchise for kids. Also, the animation looks vaguely like the Clone Wars style. I was in. And then on top of that it's also a follow-up to Voyager, my favorite Star Trek show that I really need to finish writing my reviews for season 1 of.

Anyway, Paramount killed it and wiped it from streaming. After months of fan and crew campaigning, Netflix picked it up and agreed to release the already finished second season. It came out yesterday as a single 20-episode drop, and I've decided to watch it and keep up my reviews of it. I think I want to space out my reviews a bit so I can focus on the individual episodes, so that's how this will start. I would like to do an episode a day, but I don't trust myself to keep to that, so there will probably be some gaps.

So, episode 1. Is it a good premiere? Short answer, mostly. 8/10.

I haven't seen season 1 since I first watched the show, so I'm a bit out of the loop. This episode did a good job of reminding me who the characters were and why I liked them, but it did throw a few curveballs for character arcs that I'm not sure I love. I'm happy with how they handled Zero, Rok, and Jankum, but I think Dal needs a bit more expansion. He's the protagonist so he'll definitely get it, but for a first episode it's a weird place to leave him. Basically, the season starts with the kids in training (I *think* they're all kids, Zero's either a million years old or ten and I can't tell), and they're all adapting more or less OK to formal Starfleet life. Except Dal. Dal doesn't want to actually do any studying and just wants to be a spaceship captain who goes on adventures and shoots things. It's a pretty simple arc, but it's also a kids' show.

I do like the dynamic of all the other main characters wanting to be part of Starfleet and it putting strain on their friendgroup while Dal just wants to do what he wants to do, and the running gag that he refuses to read Temporal Mechanics 101 is a fun joke and a plot element. I'm torn because I kind of want more from the show than that, but also there's only so much you can do in 22 minutes and still expect kids to follow and I recognize that.

In terms of Voyager follow-up, Janeway has a secret mission! That's fun! I like the way her new bridge officers look in the animation style, especially the Andorian I can't name. That species just looks good in this definitely-not-Clone Wars render. Also, I like Andorians. Sue me.

The Doctor is also back! The Doctor is one of my favorite Star Trek characters ever, and I'll explain why if/when I do a thing about Voyager. I'm glad he's back. It feels like they struggled a bit with using Robert Picardo as a voice actor - it just feels a little stilted - but I've also only seen the first episode. I'm not sure why he's on the mission in-universe, but I'll give it time.

The Voyager-A is ostensibly studying a wormhole but secretly rescuing Chakotay, which is a good way to keep the threads from season 1 going and also giving the crew some conflict with Admiral Janeway. In season 1, they got pretty attached to Hologram Janeway, and not having the same relationship with the human version is going to be a fun dynamic to play out. I know they made this a while ago, but I am very curious how much they knew about Robert Beltran (Chakotay's actor) and his feelings about COVID vaccines at the time (he doesn't like them).

Two timeline things that are interesting to nerds - Voyager-A and the mention of the Romulan evacuation. I was halfway through an extended paragraph about the timeline of Voyager-A being here and what that means for the Lore before I realized what I'd done, so I'll make that a separate post. The Romulan evacuation comment is just interesting because that's a plot point from the Abrams Star Trek reboot that puts the events of this show way closer to Voyager than I thought they were, so it has not been that long for Janeway, Chakotay, and the Doctor. I wonder if this will come up, or if I'm overthinking it. If I had to guess, it's probably the latter.

[peachviz]

I finished Picard so you know what that means. It’s a Picard wrap up post:

(this one may contain hot takes bc ik the series is split on mixed reviews)

Season 1 - beautiful. Made me ugly cry. Sucks that i saw Data die twice (but if i had a nickel for every time that happened…)

- Picard still dealing with PTSD of being Borg i love that continuity

- Seven is a badass but seven did not have to have character development at the risk of killing Icheb. Out of all the deaths in Season 1, that one was so pointless. But given the previous actor of Icheb’s conduct i think that may have been a benefactor idk im not a conspiracy theorist

- Data has daughters??? We love to see it

- Narek was useless we could have done without the male manipulation

- Riker being a happy dad (idk wtf was going on in season 3. We didn’t have to forget him making pizza. He and Deanna always have a kiss and makeup storyline can’t we just have the Riker that makes pizza and smiles)

- I cried the most with this season, out the gate just full on ugly cried. Data getting a beautiful ending, Picard overcoming death, Seven returning, good elements

So then why was Season 2 lowkey a clusterfuck. Random and confusing at times

- seven is still a badass, but oh no Star Trek is starting to suffering from Star Wars syndrome. It’s the one where they overcorrect their wrongs by making women bad asses, but then that’s all they are, badasses with suffering

- Q dying was dumb sorry im with de lancie on this one they could have involved Q without the weird dying storyline just kiss and make up, Picard “you matter” “all gods have favorites, and you’re one of mine” too much yapping not enough hugging like come on (i did love that line)

- Seven and Raffi are the couple of the season

- Elnor dying almost made me turn it off

- I found Rios boring sorry

- Wesley is in his River Song era, really didn’t understand it but ok I’ll bite

- Laris and alter ego not Laris was also boring really don’t understand it and did not see chemistry with Picard and clearly pointless bc she never shows up again at the end of s3 (once again too many cooks in the kitchen with too many characters. Star Trek is still suffering from that thing they do where they introduce a character and then phase them out or quit talking about them abruptly)

- Jurarti showing the Borg queen the power of friendship and love…….just for the Borg queen to retcon all that in season 3 but I had to sit through that was unbearable

Idk overall I didn’t really like Season 2. I thought it was the weakest season with the weakest storylines and characters. And as much as it pains me to say this, Beltran was right (just threw up in my mouth a little) in rejecting a Chakotay involvement. It’s just unnecessary fascism and he was right Prodigy is the superior storyline for Chakotay

Lastly, Season 3

- I just want to start out by saying I liked it I genuinely thought it was gonna be a lot worse than it was bc of the way people were so split on it

- I’m not mad about Soji not being in this season. While I feel like it is necessary for her and Data to connect and finally have that interaction, it would have been overshadowed by everything else going on in this season. Same with Elnor. There wasn’t really a place for them.

- Sidney and Jack are kinda cute af a Picard/LaForge pairing would be something to see

- They lowkey sidelined Seven, but once again she was getting overshadowed

- Not really thrilled with what happened with Ro Laren. I’m not even gonna get into it bc I’ll just get pissed off.

- Jack did read as a self insert at times BUT I found him compelling. I don’t really find him a Mary sue, people said the same thing about Wesley way back when too. Idk Beverly is just blessed with arrogant perfect children

- His storyline was the finale after all the show was about Picard and Picard passing on the baton and what he learned. The theme was constant, it made sense with the whole Locutus storyline. Maybe that’s controversial but idc I liked it. Picard would have been a good father.

- There wasn’t enough focus on anyone else, but I think that’s was at the request of Patrick Stewart. There were terms he agreed on to return it’s in his book. He withheld on having the entire TNG cast return because he wanted something fresh and something focused on Picard. And honestly? There wasn’t room, everything was overshadowed by this storyline.

- After this, we don’t have to touch the Borg. We are so fed on Borg shit we don’t ever have to come back to the Borg. I’m so over the Borg

- Wish the changelings had kept their old form. It was cooler. I miss Odo. Rip René

- We are still underutilizing Worf but I forgot he can’t have too many scenes when Riker’s around.

- I know it hurts to see something change from what you used to know and love. I just don’t want to deal with the same discourse as I do in the Star Wars fandom. It’s exhausting and I miss civil discourse. There are some critiques to be had for new Trek but I’m always wanting new content. Maybe it’s time to explore a new ship and crew. No callbacks to old characters idk. There’s an edge to starfleet that has changed over time that I find interesting, that I found interesting in DS9.

Overall, it brings interesting concepts. It’s not all perfect, but it’s starting a conversation. Some of the gore was unnecessary and there were a few deaths that didn’t have to happen as a literary device. Im really hoping once the Picard movie is off the ground, we can have a lighthearted mission or something bc bro yall clowned insurrection saying it was “just another TNG episode” like we don’t need that rn

As much as I love the Janeway content and mentions, and appreciate that voyager fans are finally being fed there is so much untapped content in DS9. I just don’t understand why we can’t incorporate it. I’m begging you on my hands and knees, writers, please please please everyone wants it give the people what they want please please I need to see Kira I need to see Bashir I need to see Garak like come onnnnnn

Most of this is pretty scrambled bc it’s a lot to process bc each season is its own storyline.

Current Captain ranking:

1. Sisko

2. Janeway

3. Picard

4. Pike

5. Seven of Nine

6. Kirk

7. Freeman

8. Riker

9. Shaw

Current Series Rankings

1. DS9

2. TOS

3. SNW

4. TNG

5. PICARD

6. LOWER DECKS

7. VOYAGER

Some changes in the rankings for both. Picard brought the TNG ranking up from last place. Voyager sank lower for me because the longer I sat with it, the more I realized I didn’t connect with it like I did the others.

(THESE RATINGS WILL CHANGE SIGNIFICANTLY ONCE I FINISH PRODIGY)

now to finish prodigy, start discovery and then take a break before enterprise

[0nlythrowharrybeaux]

Wonderful World - Part 7^

Hello friends! So sorry this is super late, it's our first week back from spring break at the university and we're short staffed so I've been running around like a headless chicken! Also this chapter is extremely eventful and it is a little sad.

A/N: Apparently this blog has been shadowbanned so that could be why my tags haven't been working ☹️ I'm just waiting for Tumblr support to get back to me now.

Series Masterlist

Warnings: homophobia, LGBTQIA2S+ centered issues, mentions of bullying, cyberbullying, suicide, and panic attacks, toxic parents, verbal arguments.

WC: 10.7K

Diana was as quiet as possible as she got up in the morning, Celeste was still out and after the day she had yesterday, she didn’t want to disturb her much needed sleep. The rage Diana felt festering inside of her had not gone down for a second, she was still livid and hurt that someone else would do such a horrifying thing to her child. And not just another person, no, another child had done this and that blew her mind. She literally zoned out as she tried to piece together what she would say without losing her shit, which she knew would be extremely challenging. She knew of one person who could help keep her in check, but she couldn’t go that route. 

“Mom?” She heard and turned around to see Celeste rubbing her eyes behind her.

“Que paso, mamita?” She asked.

“Tell me how it goes?” 

“Of course.” Diana smiled and Celeste came over and she hugged her tight, “How are you feeling?” She asked more seriously.

“Just…sad I guess.” She said and Diana frowned, “Like I don’t know what I ever did wrong and how all these people can just go along with everything that was being said and done? Like they don’t even know me so why would they want me to…you know?” She asked with a frown.

“Yeah, I get what you mean.” Diana assured softly, “And listen, I will fight for you, I will do anything in my power to make sure that the school does the right thing. And I mean, I know Geri and Ozzy are at the same school but if you don’t feel safe or comfortable there we can look into another option for next year, just say the word. OK?” 

“OK, thank you, mom.”

“Of course, sweetheart.”

After Diana got dressed she gave Celeste a big kiss on her forehead and hurried to her school. When she walked into the office Ethan perked up.

“Ms. Beltran, hey.” He smiled.

“Hi, Ethan.” She smiled back, he was always so sweet, he wasn’t deserving of her bad attitude this morning.

“Ummm, Megan and her mom kind of beat you to it.” He said and Diana sighed. She was shocked because she was 10 minutes early.

“Alright.” 

“I am so sorry about what happened, by the way.” He added in with a frown.

“Yeah, me too.” She said with a tight-lipped smile, “I’ll see you later.” She said and he nodded before she went on back. She was was about to open the door when her phone started to ring and she sighed and fished it out of her bag to see Harry calling. Diana sighed before she stepped aside and answered the phone, “Hello?”

“Hey, i-it’s me. Harry.” Harry said and she couldn’t help but smile a bit.

“I know, I do have your number saved, you know?” She said and he chuckled a bit nervously.

“Right. Ummm, I was just calling to check in before the big meeting. See how you’re doing? A-and Celeste too, of course! How was she feeling this morning?”

“Celeste is still upset, understandably so. But she’s resilient, she’ll get through it. Obviously, I want to just make sure that we do this on her time, I don’t want to rush her into getting back here, especially if they don’t do anything about this.”

“Right. Were you able to talk to Rebecca?” He asked.

“Yeah, actually. I’ve got a few empty threats up my sleeve for now because well, I’m not going to sue another kid.” She said and he chuckled, “But it was helpful to know that there are things I can do about this if the school can’t help.”

“Good, that’s good. And what about you?”

“I’m fine. I just…I’m keeping calm.” She said before she exhaled and he chuckled.

“You’re gonna bite their heads off, aren’t you?” 

“I’ve been preparing what to say since last night because I don’t want to be a bitch-”

“Hey, that’s your kid that they’re hurting. You’re not being a bitch, you’re doing what any good parent would do. Obviously, you don’t want to get out of hand, but it’s OK to be angry. I’m angry and she’s not even my daughter.” He said with a chuckle and Diana smiled a bit, “If I were there…I don’t even want to think about how I might react.” He said and Diana smiled.

“That bad, huh? For someone who doesn’t want kids you seem to get it.” She chuckled.

“Kid or not, she’s a person. A person that I know and care about, how can I not be upset?” He said with some frustration laced in his voice. Harry wished he could be there and advocate for Celeste and her wellbeing. Harry didn’t work with a lot of kids in his practice now, but from his residency and even his training back in England, he knew that he had a huge soft spot for them. And well, he thought he would be treating Celeste for her depression, but it turns out there was a lot more going on to cause that and he just wanted to make sure that something was being done to make it better. 

Especially after yesterday, it was rare for him to feel so helpless. He had never been with a client and felt like he had no idea what to do. He knew from personal and professional experience what to do during a panic attack, but he just saw the state she was in and he freaked out. He was far too worried about her that he just didn’t know how to help except to hold her and assure her that she would be fine. It was scary.

“Right.” Diana sighed, “Look, I need to get in there, but thank you for calling.”

“Of course. You’ll do fine and I hope it goes well.”

“Thank you. Bye.”

“Bye.” He said and they hung up. Once Diana put her phone away she headed inside the office and Megan, her mother, and Principal Whittaker all looked over at her.

“Good morning.” She said and the only person who responded was principal Whittaker. Shocker.

“Thank you for joining us Ms. Beltran as we try and work out the issue at hand.” The principal said.

“Issue?” She asked with a frown, “My daughter had a panic attack as she read an anonymous page suggesting ways in which she should kill herself.” She said and immediately Megan looked down into her lap. If that wasn’t proof of guilt what else could it be? 

“Ms. Beltran-”

“And you think my daughter has something to do with this?” The other woman spoke up and Diana glanced to her.

“Well, given everything she has done to her over the last school year…” Diana said.

“Mrs. Freeman, Ms. Beltran, I assure you we’ll get to the bottom of this.” Principal Whittaker said and they both turned to her, “Now Megan, you will need to issue a formal apology to Celeste for what happened before.”

“I will.” She sighed.

“Good and now in terms of this page that was created, it’s still up and-”

“It wasn’t me!” She raised her voice and Diana wanted to roll her eyes.

“I’m not saying it was you, I just want it gone by the end of the day-”

“The end of the day?” Diana interrupted as the rage she felt started to reach its boiling point, “Are you serious? I want it down immediately. They posted a picture of my daughter-”

“Yeah, drenched in period blood. What kind of mother doesn’t prepare her daughter for things like that? Huh?” Mrs. Freeman cut in with a scoff  and Diana turned to her, eyes black with anger.

“And what kind of sick, piece of shit, monster makes a page putting it to vote if a child should kill themselves and then ask others to give her suggestions?” Mrs. Freeman’s eyes widened as she said this and Diana was also a bit concerned that she lost her bearings, but she couldn’t believe her ears. Megan was nearly trembling in her chair.

“Ms. Beltran, please-”

“No!” She interrupted, “You three listen to me.” She said, “After the incident yesterday my lawyer look into this and there is jail time for threats against someone’s safety online, especially a minor. She was able to find the email linked to the account and the IP address as well. I want the person responsible for conjuring this monstrous and vile scheme out of this place.” She said to the principal and Mrs. Freeman scoffed.

“You’re insane!”

“What if someone had done that to your daughter, Mrs. Freeman?” She asked, “What if it was your daughter enduring torments and walking around in fear for her safety every day for the entire school year? What if someone got on the internet and asked the kids at this school if Megan should kill herself?” She asked with tears in her eyes, “And more than that, what if they told her how she should do it and she had to read that over and over again?” She asked and Mrs. Freeman was slightly frowning now, “What if my daughter reaches her breaking point and she listens to what people are saying?” Diana asked through her tears and then she looked to Megan who was so tense she looked like she’d crack a tooth, “Even if it wasn’t you who made it, you contributed to it-”

“She didn’t!” Mrs. Freeman shouted.

“Yes she did.” Diana said to her and then looked to Megan, “Celeste saw you take the video.” She nodded and Megan started to cry, “Whatever weird vendetta you have against her, it’s one-sided and it doesn’t warrant everything that you and your friends are putting her through.”

“Don’t talk to my daughter, you psychotic bitch!”

“What happens if she kills herself, Megan? Are you ready to deal with everything that will come along with that?” She asked Megan despite Mrs. Freeman’s admonition.

“Well your daughter had to have done something for mine to lash out!”

“They didn’t even go to the same middle school! None of their extracurriculars even coincide! She’s just a mean girl for sport or for status! I don’t know what anyone gains from bullying someone else, but if you can’t do anything more about this I will press charges.” She said to Principal Whittaker and then Mrs. Freeman.

“Ms. Beltran, there’s no need for that, we can come to a resolution here-”

“The only resolution I want to see is an expulsion for the person responsible. I want the person to come forward by the end of the day or I will be telling my lawyer to file the charges. And we have mountains of evidence already.” She said and Mrs. Freeman scoffed.

“You’re fucking crazy, lady!” Mrs. Freeman shouted angrily.

“After everything your monster of a child has put my child through you think this is fucking crazy? You haven’t seen the half of it.” Diana seethed.

“What did you just say about my daughter?” Mrs. Freeman asked as she stepped closer.

“You heard me. Loud and clear.” Diana narrowed her eyes angrily.

“Fuck! I did it! I DID IT!” Megan shouted through her tears. Mrs. Freeman’s face morphed from anger and defense into complete shock as she stepped back and put her hand over her mouth in disbelief. Diana shook her head as she rolled her lips together to stop herself from crying. Hearing it and confirming that the girl sitting just a few feet away from her had done something so awful and disgusting her kid made her heart ache. She wanted to yell at her or hurt her back in some way but she was just a kid herself and it was so confusing to feel that way towards her.

“M-megan, was it really you?” Principal Whittaker asked and Megan sniffled and nodded.

“I just…I hate her so much!” She groaned and Diana frowned.

“Why? What did she ever do to you?” Diana asked and Megan just looked into her eyes and sighed.

“Does this have something to do with that other girl?” Mrs. Freeman cut in and Megan’s tearful eyes looked to her mom and she shook her head quickly. 

“No, it doesn’t!” She said in a panic and now they were all confused.

“What girl?” Principal Whittaker asked.

“That girl that was harassing, Megan! Geraldine or something like that!”

“Ummm, there wasn’t ever a report made about that.” Principal Whittaker said and Mrs. Freeman shook her head.

“Why didn’t you report that she tried to kiss you in the locker room, Megan? Did she threaten you?”

“Wait, Geri is Celeste’s best friend and-”

“Well they probably threatened Megan to not report what Geri did!” Mrs. Freeman said to Diana who shook her head.

“Umm, Geri’s…not….” Diana stopped herself before she said too much about something that wasn’t her to share. And then she looked to Megan who looked terrified at what she might sat next. It was then that she pieced together what had probably happened. Megan had been the one to try and kiss Geri, she probably liked Geri. And well, Geri didn’t really know what to call it yet, but from what she and Celeste had shared with her in the past she figured that Geri was probably asexual or maybe demisexual. And well, Megan was probably jealous of Celeste and Geri’s relationship. It wasn’t an excuse for her behavior, but considering how her mother was reacting, they probably wouldn’t react well to Megan liking girls.

“Oh please, these LGBT people are so pushy and radical!” Mrs. Freeman shouted in anger.

“I can assure you Mrs. Freeman that we take any claims of sexual harassment very seriously and if something had been reported we would’ve followed up. And there must be some mistake here because Geri hasn’t received so much as a detention during her time here.”

“See, when you give these kinds of people an inch, they take a mile! And now my daughter’s rights are being violated! No matter how hard we try to include everyone all the normal people suffer!” Mrs. Freeman vented her anger loudly and Diana scoffed.

“You have no idea what you’re even saying, ma’am.” Diana frowned. She was holding back from going off because it wasn’t her place to try and make this woman see reason, especially about something like this and what it meant for Megan, her own daughter.

“Megan, if this is something that you want us to look into we can certainly do that.” Principal Whittaker said to her.

“No, it’s alright-”

“What do you mean?!” Mrs. Freeman shouted at her in exasperation, “If anyone should be punished it should be that girl for her disgusting, immoral, and-”

“I kissed Geri!” Megan suddenly shouted with tears running down her face and then she swallowed thickly. once again Mrs. Freeman looked shocked. Diana and Principal Whittaker were standing there awkwardly for a moments as a very tense silence took over the room.

“If you need to talk with your mom we can give you some space.” Principal Whittaker said after several moments. 

“Why the hell would you do that?” Mrs. Freeman said instead.

“I just…thought she was pretty and just did it! It was stupid. I told her that she better not tell anyone anything or else.” Megan cried and now Diana felt so awful for her.

“You’re damn right it was stupid!” Wait until I tell your father about this.” Mrs. Freeman berated her.

“Well, back to the reason we were here,” principal Whittaker said, “Megan still put that page up, which is completely unacceptable and there needs to be a consequence.”

“So that’s it then, she’s expelled?” Mrs. Freeman sighed.

“Well, based on the gravity and nature of the offenses Megan has committed I’m afraid that expulsion is an option.” Principal Whittaker said to Mrs. Freeman and Megan, “However, this is a process, we can’t just expel her. We submit a recommendation to the school board and then they’ll need to review the evidence before addressing it and voting on it at the school board meeting.” She explained, “Both parties are able to give testimony at the meeting to help give the members a clearer picture of what has happened.” She said and Diana swallowed the lump in her throat. 

“I don’t want to get expelled all of my friends are here and-”

“Well you should’ve thought of that before you went and did something this stupid, Megan.” Her mother snapped at her and then Megan looked to Diana.

“This doesn’t mean you’ll be expelled, Megan, but these are the steps I need to take.”

“Well what if I apologize to Celeste? What can I do?”

“That might certainly help your case, but you still violated the student code of conduct. You physically injured another student intentionally, you then threatened the safety and wellbeing of another student online, and now you’ve confessed to sexually harassing an unsuspecting student. I’m sorry Megan, but I have to move forward with the recommendation.” Principal Whittaker said and Megan was crying harder now and somehow Diana wanted to help Megan now. Sh was so conflicted, she thought she would feel so happy knowing that she was getting what she deserved but this was a lot.

“Fine. Whatever…I take it she’s suspended for the rest of the week.” Mrs. Freeman said and Principal Whittaker nodded. “Alright, well if that’s all we’re going.” She said flatly, “C’mon, Megan.” Mrs. Freeman said and hurried out of the office and Megan followed behind her, cowering a bit. Right before she walked out she glanced back to Diana and she had never felt so awful in her life and just like that they were gone.

“That woman is a bitch.” Principal Whittaker said and Diana sighed as she turned back to her and nodded.

“I feel so bad…I promise I won’t sue, I just got so angry.” She said and Principal Whittaker nodded.

“I understand, I have kids too.” She assured and Diana nodded.

“I’ll talk to Celeste and see if maybe she’d be willing to make peace with Megan or…I don’t know.”

“Even still, it would take a miracle after what she did with that instagram page.” Principal Whittaker said and Diana nodded.

“Well, thank you for this meeting and for doing what you can. I appreciate it. Celeste is still not doing too well, she’ll probably be back next week.” 

“Of course.” 

With that Diana stepped out of the office and sighed once she shut the door behind her. When she rounded the corner to the reception area she saw Megan sitting in a chair with her backpack and Diana looked around to see if her mom was around anywhere.

“Megan?” She approached her when she saw that she wasn’t. Megan looked concerned as Diana came closer, “I’m really sorry for saying those things about you in there, you’re not a monster or anything like that. I was just so angry and I lost my temper and I should’ve done better.” Diana said and Megan shook her head.

“I deserve it.” She sniffled.

“No you don’t, sweetie.” Diana said, “Obviously, I am upset and hurt by what you did, but fighting fire with fire never helps and I’m the grown-up here, I should do better. So I’m sorry.” Diana said softly.

“It’s OK.”

“And look, I know what it’s like to have parents who…you don’t get along with or who don’t really understand you. They do love you in their own way, but sometimes they can be hurtful.” She said and Megan sniffled as she nodded.

“Yeah.”

“And look, whether you know or are confused about how you feel about Geri or maybe even other girls, just know that, that doesn’t make you a bad person, even if some people tell you that it does. The people who love you will only want for you to be the version of yourself that you’re happiest with. And you’re what, 14-15 years old?”

“15.” She said and Diana smiled.

“You’ve got your whole life to figure things out, there’s no time limit to learning more about yourself, OK? And well, if you ever need help there’s the counselor. I understand that you’ve been kind of forced to work with her.”

“Yeah.” She said with a small smile and Diana nodded.

“Well, that’s actually a really good thing. Take advantage of it, yeah?”

“OK. Can you tell Celeste that I’m really sorry? I was jealous because I thought she and Geri liked each other or something.” She sniffled.

“Of course I will.”

“And like I told Principal Whittaker, I will write that letter too to apologize.”

“Thank you. Take care of yourself, sweetie.” Diana offered her a small smile.

“What’re you doing talking to my daughter?” Mrs. Freeman suddenly asked, her tone shrill and angry and Diana sat up from the spot beside Megan’s.

“I was just apologizing to her for saying she’s a monster. That wasn’t right of me, I lost my temper when I shouldn’t have.” She explained to Mrs. Freeman. The stern and disapproving look in her eyes softened some.

“Oh. Well, Megan crossed the line and you’re right, if she had been on the receiving end of something like this I would lose my shit as well.” She said more quietly and Diana nodded.

“Any parent would.” She assured with a smile and then turned to Ethan, “Have a good one, Ethan.”

“You too Ms. Beltran.” He said and she smiled before she hurried out. 

Diana sat in the car for about 10 minutes just processing the entire meeting. She called Grace and explained what happened and explained how she was feeling after finding out about everything else that was going on behind the scenes. She knew that couldn’t really explain everything that happened to Celeste without outing Megan. However, it was the one thing that would answer the question she had: why was happening to her? It wasn’t her place to share that information with Celeste, as much as she wanted to give her the answer to her question. She deserved to know that it had nothing to do with her. She still felt for Megan and every internal struggle she was having, but that also didn’t justify her actions. Diana just felt stuck a bit and her mind was in shambles as she made her way back home.

“I’m home!” She called out.

“In the kitchen!” She heard Celeste say and she set her bag and wandered in to see her at the counter eating some peanut butter and banana toast. “How was it?” She asked before taking another bite and Diana sighed.

“Well… she confessed to the account and I…called her a monster, I felt bad about it after though.” Diana said and Celeste giggled, “Imagine me, fighting verbally with a child…anyway, she did want me to tell you that she’s really sorry. And well, she’s suspended again this week and the principal is recommending her for expulsion so that’s that.” Diana said and Celeste exhaled and nodded.

“Good.”

“Yeah.” Diana said softly and then bit her lip, “Well, do you want to hang out here or do you want to come to campus with me?”

“I think I’ll stay and be lazy.” She said before taking another bite of her toast.

“OK, but please pick up when I call to check in OK? I just…after everything that happened yesterday I just need to know that you’re doing OK.” Diana said and Celeste nodded.

“I will.”

“Pinky promise?” Diana asked extending her finger out to Celeste and she took it and locked her pinky with her mom’s. “And…you know that you can talk to me and tell me things, right?” She asked and Celeste nodded, “And I know that the point of therapy is to have someone outside of me to talk to and to get help from. I know that you have a good thing going with Dr. Styles and that he helps you, but I just…I need to make sure that you’re OK.” Diana explained, “What you’ve been dealing with is something that most people don’t have to and it can be exhausting and scary and I just need you to know that you also need me in your corner. Which I always will be, as your mom. But I guess what I’m trying to say is that if anything else happens I would like to know. I don’t want to find out when you’re in crisis mode, you know?” She asked nervously and Celeste nodded.

“Yeah, I get it mom.” She responded.

“Good. No more secrets, OK?” Diana asked and Celeste nodded.

“No more secrets.” She agreed.

***********

It had been two weeks since Celeste’s panic attack and during her next two sessions Diana had been present, at Celeste’s request. At first it was good, because he could have a better idea of their dynamic. And well, he could also collaborate with Diana to ensure that Celeste was safe at school and transitioning back into it well. The school board meeting regarding Megan’s fate was coming in 2 more weeks and Harry wanted to know if Celeste wanted to share something, as she was allowed and encouraged to give testimony. He wanted to know which way she was leaning and if she accepted what would she want to say? But he wasn’t getting much out of her. It concerned him because her eyes said that she did want to talk about it and process her feelings about this, but her responses were far too vague  or she’d give a lot of ‘I don’t knows’ now and he felt that having Diana around might have been the reason she was hesitant to share. He knew that Diana just wanted to help, but it was putting some pressure on Celeste that really had no place in the therapeutic setting. So after this second unsuccessful session Harry knew that he needed to talk to Diana.

He was a bit nervous because they weren’t really on the best of terms after he had kissed her at that show. Yes, they would collaborate and put their own feelings aside for Celeste’s sake, but things between them were still pretty “meh”. Celeste was gathering her things as Harry processed Diana’s payment and then he glanced up at her.

“Diana, can I have a minute of your time before you guys go?” He asked and she nodded.

“Celeste, just wait in in the waiting room for me, OK?” 

“Yep! Bye Dr. Styles!” She called and Harry smiled and waved as Celeste headed out of his office. Diana was standing around waiting for Harry to finish up and when he did he sighed as he looked up to her.

“What?” She asked with a slight chuckle and he glanced up pensively, trying to piece his words together in the best way. He was holding his hands, really fighting the urge to crack his knuckles.

“Just, give me a minute, I’m just…trying to phrase this right.” He said and she tilted her head to the side with a smile.

“Just say it.” She shrugged and he looked down into her eyes to find her already looking at his.

“OK…while I think that you being in session with Celeste can be advantageous and appropriate, at times, I do believe that you joining in regularly is not conducive to Celeste’s progress.” He said it so professionally and robotically because he just needed her to know that it wasn’t personal. It had nothing to do with what they had gone through personally, it was just what was best for Celeste. He watched her eyebrows furrow as his words processed.

“How could you say that?” She asked with a frown, “After everything she’s been through, she needs me too!” Diana added.

“I know, Diana. Believe me, I do, but it kind of feels like you’re chaperoning our sessions and she’s not opening up about-”

“Well maybe you’re just not as good at your job as you thought.” She said and as soon as she said it she regretted it. Even more when she saw an offended and hurt expression on his face for a moment, before he looked away with a tense jaw to compose himself before looking back into her eyes.

“I’ve been with her through all of this too and it wasn’t like this before you came in.” He explained.

“Well maybe the panic attack changed things, Harry. If I recall, I had been the one who helped her through it more than you did, and I don’t mean this disrespectfully, but maybe she’s lost some confidence in you.” Diana said coldly and he bit on the inside of his cheek for a moment.

“Based on what you’ve just said I think you’re the one who’s lost confidence in me. And also, you’re making this weird and personal and-” 

“She asked me to be here, Harry! And I will be in session with her until she asks me not to be, OK?” Diana interrupted him. She hated being wrong and right now she was, she knew it too. She was making it weird and personal and this had a lot more to do with her fear about what was going on with Celeste than it did her confidence in Harry or anything else. They had promised no more secrets, but this was the place where Celeste felt safe enough to share anything and that bothered her. It almost hurt her in a way that Celeste preferred to open up to Harry before her; she was her mother for fuck’s sake. Harry exhaled and nodded.

“You’re right, she did. I’m sorry.” He said and she frowned. After shed insulted him and his competence he was apologizing to her? It made her feel like shit, “I’m just concerned that she’s not taking about the board meeting and I really need to know what’s on her mind. If she chooses to speak, what she says will quite literally impact this other girl’s future and with the things she has said before I…I’m just worried that she’ll act out of vengeance and then regret it down the line when it’s way too late to correct anything.” He explained and Diana scoffed.

“Wow, Harry…” she said with shake of her head.

“Don’t do that, Diana.” He said quietly, “You know your daughter better than I do. You know how she is when she’s angry.” He called her out and she looked away from him, because once again, he was right. “And if you’re having a hard time processing all of this, because I can imagine that it’s a lot and scary and just hard, maybe you should consider reaching out to your therapist too and-”

“I think we’re done here.” She said before turning around and walking out the door, shutting it loudly behind her. It made Celeste jump a bit in fear as she glanced up at Diana from her seat in the reception area, “C’mon, let’s go.” She said curtly before they walked out of the office. 

Harry was left standing in his office staring at the door she had basically slammed on her way out feeling so disappointed and angry with Diana’s response. She was acting like a child - he was prepared for her to not react the best, but not like this. She had been so cold and hurtful and it did hurt his feelings. He was trying to talk himself out of doubting himself and his abilities because he knew that Celeste and him had formed a really good and strong therapeutic bond. He had been helping her, there was evidence of that, wasn’t there?

*********

Diana had been very in her head all of Tuesday. She had maybe replayed the conversation with Harry in her head a bajillion times and she felt worse and worse about it the more she recalled it.

“Mom!” Celeste suddenly shouted and she shook her head and groaned as she saw that the pot of tomato soup she was preparing for dinner had completely boiled over and got the stove all dirty.

“Shit!” She groaned quietly as she hurried to remove the cap to let the bubbles go down and proceeded to turn off the burner, “Well great.” She groaned quietly. Celeste hurried over and then flipped the grilled cheese sandwiches on the skillet before they started to burn. She then glanced up to Diana with concern.

“Mom, are you OK?” She asked carefully and Diana nodded before she looked over at her.

“Yes, I’m just stressed about a lot of things.” She explained through an irritated sigh.

“It’s OK, me too.” Celeste assured and Diana turned to her.

“You said you were fine yesterday in session.” 

“I-I know, it was just today.” Celeste fibbed and Diana looked in Celeste’s eyes.

“We said no more secrets.” Diana reminded.

“I know, it’s just a test we have for one of my classes. I’m not super confident about it because of the week I missed.” She said and Diana hummed.

“Promise?” She asked pointedly and Celeste nodded.

“Yeah, I promise.”

“If this has anything to do with the school board or Megan you can tell me.”

“I know, mom.” She sighed and Diana nodded, “Y’know…if-if you don’t want to have me in therapy with you and Dr. Styles I don’t have to be there?” She said more quietly.

“I know.” She said and Diana nodded, “OK. I mean I like being in there, but I don’t have to be, OK?”

“OK.” Celeste smiled and Diana smiled too.

They had their dinner and talked a bit about their days during. Diana reminded her that she would be picking her up right at 3pm from school the next day as Grace had something she needed to do and wouldn’t be able to get her. Once Celeste did the dishes she headed up to start getting ready for bed and Diana got to cleaning the mess she made of the kitchen. Her day hadn’t necessarily been exhausting, but mentally she was just drained and foggy and she well, she felt guilty. Really, really guilty.

**********

Harry was just getting in from the office when his cellphone started ringing with a number that he didn’t have saved. He nibbled on his lip before deciding to just answer it.

“‘Lo?” He asked into he receiver.

“Ummm, Dr. Styles?” He heard Celeste over the line and his immediate emotion was concern that something bad had happened.

“Celeste, hi! Are you alright?” He asked right away.

“Yeah, I am. Ummm…I just…feel really bad for lying to my mom about something.” She explained and he hummed.

“OK, and what is that?” He asked as he set his bag down on the kitchen counter.

“Well, after everything that happened with Megan we made a pinky promise that we wouldn’t keep secrets from each other and that’s why I asked her to come in with me when we talk but…it’s just not the same anymore.” She explained and Harry hummed.

“Yeah, I’ve noticed.” He responded and she sighed. Right now Harry wanted to just materialize before her and shout a big, fat “I told you so!” In her face, but he needed to just listen to Celeste right now.

“I just feel so bad to tell her I don’t want her there because I know she’s worried. And she keeps telling me that I can tell her if I don’t want her there, but I know it’s going to hurt her feelings if I tell her that.” She explained with a sigh.

“And how do you know that?” Harry asked.

“Because, she’s tough, but she’s also really sensitive.” Celeste said.

“That’s fair. What makes you not want her there?” He asked.

“Just…the fact that she’s my mom and maybe I’ll want to talk about things that she might not…like me to say.”

“Is this about Megan?” He asked and Celeste swallowed thickly but hummed in confirmation, “OK, like what?”

“Like I hope that she gets expelled.” She said more quietly.

“You have every right to feel that way.”

“Yeah, see mom would make me feel like I should forgive her.”

“Your mom’s right about that, you should definitely forgive her, in your own time of course, but you should also really process what you feel first.”

“Yeah and I feel like I can’t do that with her there.” She explained.

“Well, you can never go wrong with saying it like that? Just explain how you feel. I know that it can be scary to say how you feel sometimes, but if it’s what’s best for you I think she will listen.” He encouraged.

“Yeah…I just feel bad. Like it’s not that I want to keep things from her, but I just think it’s easier to tell her about stuff after we’ve had the chance to talk. Because if she has questions I usually know what to say. I’ve had time to talk about it with you.” She said and Harry hummed.

“You know, it might also be that your mum feels that in a way, you’re replacing her with me.” Harry added and Celeste scoffed.

“How?”

“Because, if you two have always talked about things openly before me, it might just make her feel that way. Imagine if Geri or Ozzy got a new friend and they suddenly started talking to them before you about their problems or their good news, how might that make you feel? A bit crumby I reckon.”

“Yeah…that’s true.”

“So just remind her that you love her and that you do want to keep telling her things but after you’ve understood more about what you’re feelings. And hey, there are things that you might tell your mum before me, like if you have a crush on someone or maybe something related to your guitar lessons? Just let her know that she’s still someone you can trust and want to share things with and be honest with but that it’s a little harder to know exactly how to share what you’ve been going through lately.”

“Mmm, OK. That makes sense.” She sighed, “Thank you, Dr. Styles. I’m sorry if I interrupted your dinner or something, I just needed your help.” She said and he smiled.

“Anytime, Celeste. I mean that.” He said and she smiled.

“Thank you, bye.”

“Bye.” He hummed and they hung up.

********

Diana hadn’t meant to listen in to that whole conversation, but Celeste had left her door ajar and had her phone on speaker. Diana had initially just walked up to ask if she wanted to take the left-overs as lunch or if she’d want lunch money the next day. Now she felt worse than before because Harry had been absolutely right and now she had hindered Celeste on her journey to getting better. She quietly made her way back down before Celeste would notice and just decided to not say anything about it until she brought it up to her. She wasn’t upset at Celeste, how cold she be? It was more an upset with herself for acting so immature and going after Harry when he was just trying to help Celeste; he did know her well as his patient and it was his job to advocate for her and what was in her best interest. She needed to swallow her pride and apologize.

********

“Mom, can we stop at the cafe before we go to your class?” Celeste asked as soon as she hopped into the car and Diana nodded.

“Of course, mi amor.” She smiled and peeled away from the curb, “How was your day?”

“It was really good. Well, except for Megan trying to talk to me.” She sighed and Diana glanced over quickly.

“Oh really?” She asked.

“Yeah, she was trying to give me that letter that Principal Whittaker forced her to write.” She huffed and Diana hummed.

“Well, maybe she does have something important to tell you as well?” Diana suggested and Celeste rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, sure…” she mumbled. In a few minutes they were parking in the structure around the corner from the cafe and just down the street for the building Diana lectured on, on Wednesdays.

“Alright, we need to be quick. Do you know what you want?” Diana asked as they stepped inside.

“Yeah, the Mexican hot chocolate frappe.” She said and Diana nodded. She placed her order and then Celeste’s before they hurried off to the side as they awaited their orders. Celeste was telling her something about a paper she had to write for English when someone tapped on her shoulder and she turned around to see a familiar face that she couldn’t necessarily place.

“Yes?” She asked at the woman smiling before her.

“Hi! You’re Dr. Styles’ girlfriend, right?” The girl asked and Diana’s eyes went wide in shock as she recalled the girl that was following him a few weeks prior.

“Ummm, no-”

“Yeah! I’m Sam, his student. He was waiting for you to finish lecturing outside of Dewitt Hall? You two left, hand in hand, all cute and smiley?” She reminded her of that time that she saved him from this girl, “I know this has nothing to do with you really, but might you know what time he’s gonna be on campus today?” She asked and Diana shook her head.

“I don’t I’m sorry.”

“Poo, thought I’d ask. I have some questions about something. Well, anyway it was nice to see you again.” She said and then twirled off to her table.

“You’re dating Dr. Styles?” She suddenly heard and turned around, completely forgetting that Celeste was right there this entire time. Her expression was angry and confused.

“Sweetheart, no! That’s not-”

“Is that why he always wants to talk to you alone?” She asked with disdain and Diana shook her head.

“Baby, no! Listen-”

“You said no secrets!” She seethed as a few stray tears cascaded down her cheeks, “You’re such a hypocrite. I hate you.” She spat before she pushed through a few people and ran out of the cafe.

“Fuck!” Diana groaned and hurried off after her, she wasn’t really looking where she was going and she crashed into a student, making the drop their books and phone, “Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” She said distractedly, trying to look around the guy to see where Celeste had rushed off to since she heard the door chime. She then looked away just for a moment to help pick up the person’s items and when she rushed out she looked from side to side to see if she caught a glimpse of her anywhere and she didn’t,“Shit!” She groaned loudly and dug around for her phone in her purse but then realized that Celeste’s backpack was slung over her shoulder. Maybe she had her phone in her pocket… she decided to just try and call her and when she heard the deep buzz coming from beside her she groaned again. She took a few deep, calming breaths she was angry now, but she had to let her explain, she knew where her office was, maybe she went there. Or perhaps back to the car? The car was on her way to the lecture hall so she made a quick stop there and didn’t find her there. And she was running late to class, but she just needed to find her. She rushed down the campus quad to her office building and she wasn’t there or in the bathroom there. The security guard at the entrance of the building hadn’t seen her come in either. She had to be around here somewhere, maybe she was in the lecture hall bathroom? And on her way to her class no one was in the stalls either and she rushed out in a panic, not sure if she would be able to hold her class. She wasn’t looking and she bumped into someone harshly and looked up to see Gabe looking at her with concern.

“Hey, what’s the matter?” He asked with a frown. They hadn’t talked in a bit, he was giving her space after they had spoken last, but it was relieving to see someone she knew.

“Celeste ran off in an angry fit and I can’t find her anywhere!” Diana rushed out, her eyes were scanning every person that walked by as the worry started to grow even more.

“OK, we should probably have campus security help find her.” Gabe said and Diana blinked a few times and nodded.

“Right.” She said shakily.

“Do you want me to talk to your students?” He asked and she exhaled shakily.

“No, it’s OK. Look, she was really angry at me over something, she knows where my office is. I think when she cools off she’ll go there.” She reasoned and Gabe nodded.

“Yeah, you’re right. I don’t have anything going on right now, do you want me to go hangout there?” He asked and Diana sniffled.

“No, you don’t have to-”

“I want to help.” He assured as he placed his hands on her shoulders and she bit her lip to suppress her own tears and nodded, “Hey, s’right. We’ll find her, yeah?”

“Yeah.” She whispered.

“Good. I’ll text you if she shows up.”

“Thank you, Gabe. Thank you so much.” Diana said and he nodded before letting her go to her class and he went off to wait in her building. Diana was only able to lecture for half an hour before she dismissed her class and rushed over to her department’s building. She searched the place top to bottom and didn’t find her there. She went to the foodcourt and Gabe went back to the cafe and still they hadn’t found her. She was rushing through the quad with tears streaming down her face as she informed Gabe that she was going to check the parking garage again and call campus security.

“Sounds like a plan. I’m circling back to your building, alright?”

“OK, thank you. Thank you.” She sniffled and hung up as she rushed down the path as a sob broke from her mouth.

“Diana?” She heard and turned around when she heard Harry’s voice from a few feet away, “Why are you crying?” he frowned as he came up to her and she choked on a sob.

“Your stupid fucking student Sam came up to me at the cafe before class, Celeste was with me. She was like “You’re Dr. Styles’ girlfriend aren’t you?” And she heard the whole thing and she got so fucking pissed and ran off and I haven’t been able to find her anywhere!” She vented through her tears.

“Shit.”

“Yeah!”

“Did you try to explain-”

“Of course I did! But she just wasn’t listening. She left her phone in her backpack, which I was carrying for her and I just, I need to find her.” Diana cried and Harry just grabbed her face and wiped her tears with his thumbs and nodded.

“It’s alright, we’ll find her. Where have you looked?” He asked and Diana sighed shakily.

“The lecture hall, my building, and the parking structure - those are the places she knows the most. Gabe is going to do another sweep of my building, see if she goes to my office.”

“OK, good. Have you called campus security?”

“I was just about to.” She sniffled.

“And where are you heading now?”

“To the structure to see if she’s waiting by the car.”

“Alright. And we can put our things down while we’re at it, OK?” She nodded. On the walk over she called security and gave a description and emailed a picture of her and told them what she had been wearing. She also told them that if they found her that they could call her, Gabe, or Harry. Unfortunately, she was not by the car as Diana had hoped.

“Alright, where else have you brought her on campus?” Harry asked and she started listing all the places they had visited before. They told Gabe to go look at the student art gallery  and a theatre near there where they had gone to see a play a few years back. Diana and Harry headed off to the school of music, they’d taken a tour of it once when they were looking for a guitar teacher for her. “No luck.” Harry sighed as he ran into Diana down a hallway of practice rooms and she sighed as she leaned into the wall and raised her head up to look at the ceiling, hoping that something else would come to mind. He came a bit closer and handed her some tissues, “Grabbed you some when I passed by the bathrooms.” He said and she took them and dabbed under her eyes and then her nose.

“Thank you.” She said looking into his eyes and he nodded.

“Of course.”

“And I mean thank you for-for everything you’ve done. I know I’ve said that before, but I just didn’t the extent to which you helped and I…I accidentally overheard Celeste’s call to you last night.” She said and he looked down at the ground and hummed, “I didn’t realize how much you meant to her and just how much you’ve helped. And I was…cruel and mean and I’m so sorry for insulting you and your competence and for making it weird and personal. You were absolutely right, about everything and I haven’t been able to stop obsessing over it because you didn’t deserve that.” She was crying harder now.

“I forgive you.” He said and she inhaled sharply before she started sobbing and he came closer and just wrapped her in a hug as she cried hard. There’s nothing more humbling and relieving than someone forgiving you when you don’t deserve it. “You’re going through a lot. I can’t pretend to know how much Celeste’s struggles impact you as her mom, but I do see it and I worry too, especially after that fucking instagram page.” He said and she nodded, “Like that’s so much shit to get over, you know? And I’ve never felt…helpless before, professionally. Like I did during that panic attack and when I saw what those kids were saying…it was so scary for me too, so I can’t fathom what it’s like for you. And I’m sure that you’re also hurt and angry and questioning why-”

“I ummm… I know why. Why it’s happening.” She said softly and Harry frowned.

“Have you told her?” He asked and Diana sighed.

“I…I want to but I can’t do that.” She said and he hummed.

“The girl, Megan?” He asked and she nodded.

“They always say the real issue is with the bully and well, what she’s struggling with doesn’t justify her behavior but…if she’s expelled I fear that she’ll be put in harms way too. I mean, her mom was…kind of a bitch.” She said and Harry chuckled and she did as well.

“Apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree, huh?” He asked with a smile and she sighed.

“I think in this case it…it has and…I get what that’s like, you know? Having parents that…make it seem like they don’t love you. Or make you believe that love is conditional. Especially having a mother who so clearly shows her disdain towards you.” She explained and he nodded as he listened, “It’s not her fault that she doesn’t know how to deal or process things appropriately and you know after I tore that poor girl to shreds I had to apologize to her because I wanted her to know that it can get better. She’s being forced to see the school counselor since the first thing and well I told her to take advantage while she can. And I know that she really is sorry for what she’s done and she’s been trying to apologize but Celeste has just put up this wall! Which I don’t blame her for that, but…if something happens to that girl because of what we did or what Celeste says if she does speak at the meeting-”

“Hey, that’s not your fault. There are consequences to people’s actions. If she gets expelled that’s her consequence for the way she behaved. You can’t hold yourself responsible for what she’s going through, even though you understand her better now and have learned her struggles. And yeah, Celeste can hold a grudge-”

“You don’t even know…” Diana said and Harry chuckled.

“I think I will soon.” He sighed and Diana shook her head as she looked to the ground with a smile, “You’re so remarkably beautiful inside, Diana.” He said to her and she glanced up to him, “Your ability to rationalize while still feeling everything is so fucking amazing. I’ve never met anyone like you. A person who knows themselves so well and swallows their pride and can love and care and empathize even with the people who have wronged you. You’re so incredible and I think that’s why I…I want to know you and understand you, every single part of you. Like…it’s hard to stay upset at you, even after what you said to me because I just… I knew you’d come around and see reason and that you’d own up to that at the next opportunity. You’re consistent and accountable and that’s so relieving.” He said, “And I’m not saying that you don’t have any shortcomings, we all do, but you don’t let those stop you from being better and better and better and I admire that so much.” He finished, “So even if something bad or unfortunate happens to that girl, I need you to know that it had nothing to do with you.” He stated firmly, “And I also would need you to help Celeste feel the same.”

“Yeah…and well, that’s why I’m so scared with what she has to say because how she’s thinking right now…it’s just anger.”

“I know it is. I know.” Harry said, “I can help her, I know I can, so let me.” He said softly as he looked into her eyes and Diana nodded.

“Yeah.” She responded, “I trust you and I do believe in you, Harry.” She said without any hesitation.

“Thank you.”

“And well, if this situation isn’t evidence enough that we can’t-”

“I know.” He smiled sadly and he looked away, “Maybe in another life…” he said and she sniffled and nodded before dabbing more tears away from her eyes. After a few moments of silence Diana’s eyes widened, “Oh my god, I think I know where she is!” She said and she and Harry hurried off. As they ran through the campus Diana explained that last year when her brother visited he took Celeste to see a classical guitarist play at the amphitheater at the far end of the campus. It was an outdoors one and she remembers Celeste saying something about sitting right up front and seeing everything he did. It was dark now and so they used their phone flashlights to light up the stairs as they started coming down the concrete steps.

“Celeste!” Harry shouted as he went down one set of stairs and Diana another, “God, there you are!” Harry said and Diana rushed over as Harry sat beside her and took her in his arms.

“I’m so happy you’re OK. We’ve been looking for you all afternoon.” Diana said in relief and Celeste glared up at her. She somehow didn’t seem to be upset at Harry, which was annoying a bit, but she didn’t care so much, she was just relieved that she was safe. Diana crouched down before her and grabbed her hands, “Sweetheart, nothing is going on between us.” She said to Celeste and she turned to look up at Harry who nodded.

“Right. We were just pretending because that girl who ran into you guys at the cafe was following me to my car after I asked her not to. Your mom just swooped in and pretended to be my girlfriend so that the other girl would get the hint, you know? That girl was making me really nervous.” He admitted and Celeste smiled a bit before she looked to Diana and back to Harry and giggled.

“You’re a grown-up though.” She said and Harry chuckled.

“So?” He asked in much offense, “We get nervous too!”

“Over girls?”

“Over whatever makes us nervous, girls included.” He said and Celeste chuckled, “Are you ready to go now?”

“Yeah.” She said and Diana stood and so did they. Celeste grabbed Diana’s hand as they headed up the stairs again, “I know you might be mad at me, but can we get sushi for dinner?” She asked and Y/N chuckled and Harry smiled as he listened in.

“Yeah.” Diana responded and Celeste smiled.

“Can Dr. Styles come too?” She asked glancing back to him and then up at Diana. Harry glance to her as well with his lip bitten between his teeth.

“If he wants to.” Diana said, “I also want to invite my other friend who was helping look for you too.” She said and Celeste nodded, “Alright, let me get him on the phone.” She said and called Gabe to invite him as well. They all rendezvoused in the parking garage and Harry said he’d go ahead and get a table as Gabe looked a bit confused to see Harry again in this setting.

“Hey so ummm, on top of Harry working here, he’s actually Celeste’s therapist and Henry’s best friend. Henry is Grace’s boyfriend.” She reminded and Gabe nodded as he recalled.

“Right!” He smiled as he recalled.

“I just wanted to address that before you thought that there was something going on or that I ended things with us over him. Which is what Celeste was angry about, she thought that I was dating her therapist.” She explained and Gabe winced.

“Yeah, not a good move.”

“Definitely not.” Diana agreed with a smile, “So yeah, if you see them getting along really well it’s to do with that.” 

“I appreciate you letting me know. I know that maybe you’re not ready for more, but whenever you are, if that’s any time in the near future you let me know, OK?” He said and she smiled bashfully.

“OK. So we’ll see you over there?”

“Yeah.” He smiled and they split up and as soon as Diana settled into the car Celeste spoke up.

“That’s the guy you showed me!”

“Yeah, it is. But we’re not dating anymore. We’re just friends, OK?”

“Was it because of me?” She asked worriedly and Diana tutted.

“No, mi amor. Just…wasn’t ready for that I guess. Me, not him.” She explained as they peeled out onto the street.

“So does he want to be your boyfriend?”

“I think so, but again, I’m not really ready for a relationship right now.”

“How do you know when you’re ready?” Celeste asked and Diana hummed.

“That is…a really good question and I honestly don’t know. I mean, it’s a little different for me, because like I’ve told you before, the person I have a relationship needs to understand that you’re a priority in my life as well.” She explained, “I suppose I would to be able to trust them, even to look after you.” 

“Was he not doing that?”

“Well, we only went on 2 dates, so we didn’t really get to talk about that kind of more serious stuff yet.”

“What kind of boys do you like?” She asked and Diana hummed.

“Handsome, smart, nice…tall?”

“All boys are tall compared to you.” Celeste said and Diana laughed.

“That’s very true…ummm,” she paused as she just thought about Harry and how dependable, caring, and protective he was, “Just I don’t know…” she trailed off. “And you? Any crushes I should be aware of, missy?”

“Not for now.”

“Not for now…?” Diana hummed and Celeste nodded.

“Yeah, we’re having a spring formal at the end of the month and no one has asked me yet.”

“You can ask too, you know?”

“Maybe I’ll ask Ozzy.”

“Yeah, Ozzy’s cute.” Diana said and Celeste scoffed.

“I guess…he had a girlfriend or something but they broke up so I would ask him to help him not feel bummed about that.” She explained.

“Oh OK, well that’s nice of you.”

“Yeah, if he’s up for it. If not I’m sure Geri and I can just go with each other.” She said and Diana nodded.

When they got to the restaurant Harry was sitting at the entrance waiting for them and stood as soon as they stepped inside.

“Hey, they’re just cleaning up a table for us.” He informed and Diana nodded.

“Perfect, thank you!” She smiled. A few moments later Gabe walked in and they were soon seated.

“This is a gratitude dinner by the way so don’t even think about pulling out your wallets afterwards.” Diana said as she continued looking over the menu and Harry and Gabe both chuckled. 

Harry maybe should not have accepted this invitation, but it was made by Celeste, technically. And truly, Gabe wasn’t so bad. Obviously it did make Harry jealous that he was clearly interested in Diana and well, he was making Celeste laugh a lot too, which was fine, but there was a part of him that wanted it to be him. They had ordered a few appetizers while they each decided on what to eat and Celeste was struggling with her chopsticks so Harry lent her a hand to help her use them effectively.

“-and you know what, my friend Henry says that everyone has their own way of using chopsticks, it just has to be comfortable for you. He says you only need to do it properly when you’re around old people.” Harry explained.

“So I should use them properly now.” Celeste said in all seriousness as she tried to correct her grip and Harry looked at Diana and Gabe before they all burst out laughing, “What?” She asked.

“We’re not the kind of old Harry’s talking about, you know?” Gabe added in and she grinned.

Everything went really smoothly over dinner and it got Celeste thinking about what it might be like to actually have a dad too. She loved her mom, but she did sometimes want more. Like Ozzy’s dad would take him fishing every year over spring break and one time she and Geri went and they had a lot of fun that day. Or some of her other friends would be kind of spoiled by their dads, not that her mom didn’t make her feel special, but it just seemed different. That’s why she really liked when her uncle would visit or when Dr. Styles would hug her, he’d done it a few times now and there was just something different about it. And well, maybe it would make her mom happy too, if she had help. She was trying to picture if her mom would go better with Gabe or Dr. Styles - right now it seemed easier to picture Dr. Styles because she knew him better, but Gabe had been really nice and funny too. She was distracted by some knocks on her door.

“Come in!” She called and soon her door creaked open a bit.

“Hey, just wanted to say good night.” Diana said as she peaked in and Celeste smiled.

“Can you come here?” She asked and switched on her bedside lamp as Diana walked further into the room.

“What’s up?” Diana asked and Celeste sighed.

“I know that yesterday I said I wanted you in my therapy sessions with Dr. Styles, but I kinda miss it just being us two.” She said nervously and Diana smiled.

“I get that.” She said quietly.

“You’re not mad?”

“No, of course not. I think after what happened I was just a little bit overprotective, I’m sorry if I pressured you into bringing me along.”

“It’s OK. So starting next week you can just wait in the reception area.”

“Yeah, of course.” Diana smiled and took Celeste’s hand. She was so proud of her and how Harry just empowered her to communicate and be open even when it came to having tough conversations like this one.

“I love you.”

“I love you most.” Diana said with a smiled.

---- Taglist ----

@sunshinemoonsposts @reveriehs @ottawaoutlander @cherrysulewski @angelbabyyy99 @jessitpwk @here4thefanfics @daphnesutton @gurugirl @justlemmeadoreyou @keriberi @permanentllyharry @matildasatellite

[offlandia]

https://soundcloud.com/studio-bb-652618185/identity-formation-002-ancient-cycles-by-off-land 01 Jogging House - OK 02 Dentist - Spray 03 Specta Ciera & The Circular Ruins - Blue Sky Water 04 gras - fuge für zwei oszillatoren in g-moll 05 Off Land - Unidentified 06 Meta Mora - Hollow Maps 07 John Beltran - Thank Goodness I Found You 08 Sonmi451 - Valavond 09 Aythar - Waft 10 renniac - was wir haben 11 Deru - 1979 12 Synthi-A - Surrounding the Garden is a Fog 13 IJO - Ovel 14 Segue - House of Cards 15 Urenga - Coral Reef 16 Marcus Nero - peak 17 øjeRum - Butterfly Tongues More Ancient Than Flowers 18 Tone Color - In Bruges 19 James Bernard - Growth (Off Land Recycle) 20 marow - patina [we wrote so many stories] 21 Mel - Un 22 Kane Ikin - In The Shadow Of The Vanishing Night 23 øjeRum - Recurring Dream of Coiled Organisms in the Sky 24 Graffiti Mechanism - Letting Go 25 Off Land - Egressives (cat's dream mix)

[ladyshinobi]

Episode 80: A Really Reconciliatory Recap

*Grabs MEGAPHONE*  

Attention PLEASE....The Suegra has boarded the Ship...I repeat, The Suegra has boarded the ship!

I always knew that Lupe would come around, and do you know why? because she LOVES Juliana more than anything, and thats what you do when you love someone: you ACCEPT and SUPPORT them for who they really are.

I personally found Lupe's (and Eva's) initial reactions quite baffling, I would NEVER treat someone I care about like that but I KNOW its a reality for many people sadly.  I hope the Lupes and Evas watching the show can see themselves (and their kids/loved ones) in these characters and that It can help them understand and bridge the gap and realize that as clichè as it sounds, LOVE is LOVE.

This show is really out there changing lives for the better and I think it’d deserve all the accolades just for that (even tho the whole show is pretty amazing anyway lol). Humans learn through tales and stories and if Juliantina can make a parent change idea on homophobia or give hope to a kid that his/her parents will eventually come around and accept them then mission accomplished. Slow clap for all involved really, you’re making the world a better place,

One Lupe at a time.  

I hope that as we move forward more and more we can all respect and treat each other as HUMANS and understand that in the end we all love the same, there's just more than one way to show it... AND THAT's OK.

(I went Full MACA for a moment there lol)...Anywayyyyyyy ...back to the EP...

  Remember that Telenovela 101 post where I said It was OK to do your best Evil Laughter when the bad guys get what they deserve? Well...

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 

CRY HARDER EVA, CRY HARDERRRRRRR.

Time to check on Val and see how her "Space and Time" life is going ....

Figured XD.

I honestly think Val pushed Juls away out of self preservation only, since she doesn't wanna risk getting burned (again) by a NOT-SURE-I-WANNA-DO-THIS-Juls. 

I think she's just waiting for her to actually go ALL-IN on the relationship and leave all doubts and drama behind, which I believe IS Juls intention anyway, she just has to fuckin' SHOW IT lol. Lupe's OK will definitely help with this IMO.

Also ...Juls-Make-Up-Your-Mind-Please?-Ansgty-Valentina Soundtrack:

"Say You Love Me" by Jessie Ware ...ADD IT TO THE JULIANTINA PLAYLIST!!! XD

OMG This scene ...you can see when Val STOPS BREATHING for a second there, and that hopeful smile on her face...only to be crushed when she realises its NOT her Favorite-Hitman's-Daughter-Stubborn-Ass-Gurl : (

You can literally see the moment her heart sinks (and shatters into a million pieces) UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. No One does ANGST like a Telenovela you hear me? ...NO ONE.  

Is that Val and Tears I see? WHAT A SURPRISE!....Here's the Give-Val-A-Break edit, I knew it was bound to happen soon anyway lol.

Also Mayela ...keep that wine away from Valentina ...and while we're at it stay away from Valentina and that alberca as well, you hear me!? You're already making shit awkward for Guille and Renata and there's literally only a week left gurl ...AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT lol.

Beltran is fully into this redemption arc and all I can say is good for him, and that whole choose one wife/family path? ...Listen, Panchito can take it from here so yeah, the choice is quite simple if you ask me, just saying.

Lucia showing up to Chivis House ...Well shit. I think she could end up helping them honestly? Once Lupe tells her about Beltran and confirms the whole transmigration thing is real, and also she KNOWS Valentina cares about Juliana so I think she could end up doing the right thing and lend them a place to stay as well.

_______________________________________________________________________

We've reached the "All IS LOST" part of the plot, which means the climax and resolution are right around the corner, this last week is gonna be WILD, I’m REALLY curious to see IF (and HOW WELL) they are gonna be able to stick ALL these landings, I haven't been much disappointed this far so hopefully they'll end on a high note, fingers crossed.

Also next EP is (the now infamous lol) EPISODE 81, normally I wouldn't pay much attention to a passing comment on an interview ...BUT this is Maca-The-Spoiler-Supreme we're talking about, So MAYBE they elope, have 3 kids, and go on honeymoon ...GUESS WHERE...Costa Rica hahahahaha.

I REALLY want to know what you guys think is gonna happen? let's turn this rambling monologue into a crazy-theories conversation, shall we? 

Leave me a comment with your theories about 81 and how do you think Juliantina is gonna endgame this whole thing eventually? K, Thanks, Bye.

[ofglamour]

(curley gao, she/her, spirit warrior) To DOLLIE ALIMJAN, the whole world looks like an open page. With a leap of faith, their ability of BODY EXCHANGE grows a little stronger. They’re pledged to the HOUSE OF BELTRAN to defend the enchanted lands of Cagliostro with their ENCHANTED BUTTERFLY CLIPS. For TWENTY-THREE years, they have survived a world of magic with both their INVESTIGATION SKILLS and SELF-CENTERED PERSONALITY. They work as a PODCAST HOST & INTERNET SLEUTH, but if they could change their fate, they’d want to EXPOSE THE WIZARD OF WHALE ISLAND. (ana, 21+, she/her, est)

hello hello! it’s your local goblin ana here trying her hand again at actually posting on the dash .･ﾟﾟ･(／ω＼)･ﾟﾟ･. dollie is an older muse of mine from a previous roleplay & she’s super easy for me to play, so i hope you’ll all love her and we can have fun in some threads! (i’m shy though so pls be patient, plotting in the dms makes me a lil anxious HUISDFHSD) 

below i’ve included some tidbits of info about her for you, along with her profile information under! ♡ ok kiss kiss ily bye

officially adding another alimjan to the mix of things, get ready for more chaos as material girl by madonna plays in the background 

ur typical neurotic workaholic capricorn with a splash of perfectionism

the main host of cagliostros spookiest, most drama-filled podcast! “glamour & ghouls” will provide you with all things glamourous, ghoulish, and gossipy. 

definitely uses her power to sneak into places she shouldn’t be and has no qualms about breaking the law to get the info she wants 

also has a youtube channel where she vlogs behind the scenes content, investigations, as well as her makeup and skincare routines!

thinks she’s the main character to the point of probably being annoying about it WHEEZE

spirit warrior who went through the full initiation and ceremony process, though she prefers sleuthing and investigating drama more than fighting evil by moonlight and winning love by daylight. i have an open plot/wc for a dreamshade companion who helps her with the dirty work of things if anyone is ever interested  👀

will show up at your door with your favorite drink unannounced for no reason

will also probably give you a makeover at some point or another if you’re friends

probably knows your secrets tbh

i’m slowly losing power but i’ll add more to this later UHSDIYGUH

⸻ name. dollie alimjan

⸻ age. twenty-five

⸻ gender identity. cisgender woman

⸻ pronouns. she / her

⸻ sexuality. lesbian (closeted)

⸻ relationship. single

⸻ faceclaim. curley gao

⸻ height. 5’4” / 162cm

⸻ hair color. she changes it frequently, but currently black

⸻ hair color. brown

⸻ markings. scar near her hairline from jher twin sister throwing a toy at her as a toddler, medium-sized birth mark on left of her lower back

⸻ tattoos. tiny ghost holding lipstick on side of right wrist.

⸻ piercings. three ear piercings on the left ear, four in the right

⸻ scent. raspberry, pear, vanilla orchid, lily of the valley, & woody notes

⸻ positive traits.  gregarious, driven, & generous

⸻ neutral traits. honest, materialistic, stylish

⸻ negative traits. petty, self-serving, & overreacting

⸻ zodiac trio. capricorn sun, libra moon, gemini rising

⸻ alignment. neutral good

⸻ mbti. esfp

⸻ temperament. sanguine

⸻ element. earth

⸻ primary vice. greed

⸻ primary virtue. magnificence

⸻ tropes. the socialite, breaks rules to fit their needs, always in places they shouldn’t be, uses “like” too much when they talk, puts their goals before everything else, overworked and overwhelmed perfectionist

⸻ goals. solve the mysteries happening in cagliostro, achieve a million subscribers, get her own reality tv show, expose the wizard of whale islands secret

⸻ fears. being completely alone, not achieving her dreams, failing, bugs

⸻ occupation. podcast host, internet sleuth, & youtuber

⸻ residence. selphia, cagliostro.

⸻ hobbies. investigating strange occurrences & monster events, finding the big scoop, sharing other peoples drama, interviewing people around town, researching true crime, annoying her sisters, vlogging for her channel, spending way too much on ig live, rigorous skincare routines, editing photos, doing other peoples makeup, soap making, binging bad reality TV shows, etc.

⸻ habits. using “like” too much in a sentence, cutting people off accidentally, nail picking, checking her social media too often, controlling the conversation, taking selfies at inappropriate times, constantly working even during recreational activities, etc.

[jeffbeltran96]

Friendships

“Friendships are beautiful

Friendships are stressful

Some last forever

However others last for moments

Hold on to the good memories

Memories like walking on Hollywood

Talking about how things won’t change in adulthood

But as you grow sometimes things get strange

Just remind yourself that everything will be ok

In order to grow you need to leave things behind

Keep the good ones by your side

Enjoy the moments you share

You never know when it’s the last

So while you can, have a blast

Just remember to say I Love You

Maybe that’ll give you peace of mind when you have to say goodbye

Goodbye.”

-Jeffrey Dandy Beltran

[welllpthisishappening]

The New York Mess 🤦‍♀️

ANON, I AM ASSUMlNG YOU MEAN THE METS AND IF YOU DID NOT I ONLY KIND OF CARE BECAUSE I AM ONLY EVER GOING TO CALL THE METS THE NEW YORK MESS FROM NOW ON. Because they are a mess. And this cheating scandal is a mess. And I am patently losing my shit over it. Let’s talk about it. Ready? This is going to get very long. 

First of all and most importantly: 

2017 AARON JUDGE DESERVED BETTER THAN THIS

I want that stated for the record in triplicate. Underlined. And if anyone tells me: “Oh, the Yankees have won so many World Series, they’re also evil, blah, blah, blahhhhhh” I will laugh in your face. That was the year. I cried at that Brett Gardner RBI. My six-foot-three husband got air jumping in quite literal joy at that Brett Gardner RBI. Don’t listen to CC talking about not winning, you’ll cry. 

And then this year! Oh my Godddddd. Don’t ask me how much money we spent on ALCS tickets. I DON’T WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT. 

For those not following along at home, the gist is that the Houston Astros, beginning in their 2017 season & World Series championship run, used a pretty elaborate sign-stealing system and also won the aforementioned World Series. Basically, MLB’s been investigating, found that it happened and it involved not just current Astros staff, but people who had moved on to other teams - including Carlos Beltran, who was a player at the time and this offseason was named the manager of the Mets. He is no longer the manager of the Mets. 

Because of this scandal three MLB teams don’t have managers right now. 

PITCHERS AND CATCHERS REPROT IN LESS THAN A MONTH. 

I had to put a cut. This is so long. 

Now, obviously, everyone’s got feelings about this. But when it comes to the Mets, mostly I can’t and absolutely can believe that it took them until yesterday to do something. It’s so Mets. Like. Almost too Mets. 

It does, however, bring up something interesting. Because Beltran was a player at that point. He was the only player named in the MLB report which, one, is weird and two, IS WEIRD because the report says “a group of players, including Carlos Beltran, discussed that the team could improve on decoding opposing teams' signs...” Which leads us to the conspiracy theories and the internet sleuths. 

LOOK AT JOSE ALTUVE AFTER HE HIT THE WALK-OFF HOMER OFF CHAPMAN TO SEND THE ASTROS TO THE WORLD SERIES THIS YEAR.

Now, MLB says they don’t have any evidence of under-the-jersey communications devices. And fine. But there’s also been reports that Altuve immediately went into the dugout to change into his championship shirt. Nah, nah, nah. If I ever see Jose Altuve I will one-hundred percent kick him in his smaller-than-average MLB player shins. 

Anon, were you keeping up with the fake/maybe real Carlos Beltran niece Twitter account???? Gold mine. Look at these now deleted tweets from this now deleted account:

Between this account and those rumors about a Daily News reporter making his own burner account to impersonate the Jets coach in order to up the hits on his own stories....WHAT IS HAPPENING IN NEW YORK????

Now, you may ask: Laura, why is this a problem? Doesn’t everyone steal signs? Yeah. They do. And if I’m a dude standing on second, picking up the catcher’s signals and telling the guys in the dugout - cool, good on me. That’s how the game works. BUT! A whole system of stealing signs, using analytics (which are already iffy with the old baseball men who are now positive the numbers are coming to ruin the game) and stepping into the batters box knowing what’s coming is cheating. 

Straight up. 

And part two:

So, what happens now? I’ve got no idea. The Astros got penalized, but, if we’re being honest, it didn’t really seem like a ton. And if I got a championship out of it, I’d be like...ok. I am still almost painfully here for even more conspiracy theories and Josh Reddick’s wife telling everyone to fuck off on Twitter because that really wasn’t a signaling device under his jersey, it was confetti. 

Also, I can’t embed tweets in an ask, but if you’ve read all of this and still want more, you should watch the Mean Girls video Justin sent me. It’s fantastic. 

[julescarvajal]

ignore Segio and focus on the sheer relief on Val's face when she sees it's Juls calling her

Val: Juliana?...Juliana, are you alright?!

Juls: Yes, yes, I'm perfectly fine (something about Jacobo and Beltran saving her) But other than that everything is perfectly fine.

Val: Thank god you're ok (😭)

Juls: And how are you?

Val: Not good...really not good. Lucho was killed.

Juls: What?!

[makingthetwinsrelevant-blog]

Why this year is different (although 5 game series are often skewed by sample size and who knows if it will even matter)

I’ve heard a lot of commentary about the Twins season. None of it is too optimistic about their prospects in the playoffs, and that’s understandable. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLIt6xGSqek

That link is the game following the last playoff win in franchise history. It boils down to one mistake, leaving Joe Nathan to try for a third inning. Since then and including that game, the Twins are 0-13, with 10 of those losses coming against the Yankees, who the Twins will play this year for the Division series. But the Nathan mistake isn’t why we lost that series, nor is the Torii Hunter missed catch in ‘06 the reason we lost that series.

A lot of folks think we’re cursed, and that certainly would work as a narrative. A-Rod’s RBI double in 2004, or his home run in ’09 preceding Texiera’s walk-off. Curtis Granderson’s triple in ’10 comes to mind. But everything must come to an end- the curse of the Bambino did, as did the Cubs’, and the Twins aren’t going to lose every playoff game for the rest of their existence. It starts with one game, and I think the 2019 squad is built to do that. Here’s why:

2002 Twins 86-75

2003 Twins 85-77

2004 Twins 87-75

2006 Twins 93-69

2009 Twins 86-77

2010 Twins 92-70

2017 Twins 83-79

2019 Twins 98-64

 These are the Pythagorean records for all Twins playoff teams since I have been conscious, and it really validates what I stress when I talk about the 2019 Twins, which is that this is the first team I’ve ever seen that is actually GOOD. Like good good. ALCS good. Which is why we can beat the Yankees this year, legitimately, or at least take it to game 5. Let me explain:

 2002-2018: From Rick Reed to Addison Reed

The 2002 team had no fear. The playoffs were brand new and they won a weak AL Central with solid contributions from tons of guys- no mid 2010’s Detroit Tigers stars and scrubs BS here. 12 guys had more than 2 bWAR (a measure of overall value from baseballreference.com- 0 means totally replaceable, anything above 5 means a star player), including a career year for J.C Romero, who as a lefty pitched in 81 innings, allowing a total of 17 runs, with 3 home runs, 62 hits. bWAR for his season was 3.6. We also got nice above average seasons from Corey Koskie (How good could he have been not under the Twins slap hitting tutelage and minus his later concussion issues?), Bobby Kielty, Tony Fiore (91 good innings out of the pen), Kyle Lohse, Dustan Mohr; even Rick Reed was pretty good that year. The Giants and the Angels were better constructed teams, and it would have been a miracle for the Twins to go all the way that year. I couldn’t believe when they beat they A’s, and I couldn’t believe when Joe Mays shut the Angels down in Game 1. 8 innings, no runs and the Angels could not get a barrel to the ball to save their lives. We lost to the Angels because they were a better team (They won 99 games that year) but like the Astros in 2015, it was a good stepping stone for a solid core of guys.

The 2003 team was worse. There was no David Ortiz and only Brad Radke had an ERA+ (a measure of pitching that corrects for context, average score is 100) that was above average in our regular rotation. It was 101.  Shannon Stewart and Johan Santana had to save the season and lift us over the White Sox* and Royals, who had a magical season 11 years before they meant to- they had prime Mike Sweeney and Carlos Beltran, but their #1 pitcher (as I recalled but had to confirm) was Darrell May, who had a legitimately good season but would never do THAT again.

*I’m pretty sure the White Sox were the better team that year. They had prime Bartolo, Mark Buehrle, early ok Jon Garland and that one of year of Esteban Loaiza where he almost won the CY Young (226.1 innings of 2.90 ERA ball with a k rate of 8.2, his career k rate was 5.9). They also had prime Magglio Ordonez and Carlos Lee, and this was one of the years in the oughts where Frank Thomas stayed together and hit 42 bombs.

But the Twins prevailed with Shannon Stewart magic plus solid years from Mientkiewicz, Koskie and Pierzynski, won Game 1 against the Yankees because we let Johan Santana free (for 4 innings, as that was the game where he didn’t eat enough potassium and cramped out of the game), and then got swept the rest of the way, getting shut down by Andy Pettite Roger Clemens and David Wells. It was kind of an accidental bullpen game in game 1, but more on that later.

 The ‘04 Twins went back to being pitching dominant, with the first year of full season Johan (and his best year) and Joe Nathan joining the fold along with lights out Juan Rincon (watch him strike out Jorge Posada in the 8th in game 2). Radke was great, and Carlos Silva soaked up the rest. If Joe Mauer hadn’t gotten hurt that team could have been something, because the lineup was rough and relied a lot on career year Lew Ford (more on that later). Doug Mientkiewicz, Jacque Jones, Christian Guzman and Henry Blanco all struggled to various degrees. Morneau provided a spark in the second half, taking over for Mientkiewicz at the trade deadline and hitting 19 bombs.

As I inferred, I put myself through watching game 2 of the ALDS against the Yankees (up 1-0) recently and everything that I remembered from it came rushing back: Koskie’s double against Rivera that would have scored 2 but bounced into the stands, instead tying the game at 5. Then Hunter’s big home run in the 12th, and Nathan to all the world looking like he was out of gas in his third inning of work in the 12th - with 1 out he walked Miguel Cairo as well as Jeter to bring up A-Rod. What I didn’t remember was that Nathan threw a decent slider off the plate down and away, and A-Rod showed why he was one of the top 5 hitters of his generation and almost hit it out, poking a ground rule double (were it a regular double it would have been a walk off) to tie the game. After intentionally walking Sheffield, J.C Romero got Hideki Matsui on a soft fly out to Jones in right, and a good throw would have gotten Jeter. That didn’t happen, and one Carlos Silva start and a Rincon implosion later the Twins were done. The Twins hit well in the series after not doing that all season, but two decisions cost them: leaving Nathan in obviously, and giving Carlos Silva (and Kyle Lohse) a start. The lineup had gotten hot, but archaic ideas about how to use pitching in the playoffs cost them big- although those ideas wouldn’t truly be challenged until Craig Counsell took the Dodgers to 7 games in 2018.

I was jazzed about ’06. They had a good power and speed mix (On base percentages of Bartlett, Castillo and Punto: .367, .358, .352) with Morneau and Mauer both breaking out to post over 10 bWAR between them, Santana winning another Cy Young, and Francisco Liriano having his Greek tragedy. The bullpen was great, with Nathan having arguably his best year, Dennys Reyes giving up 5 runs the whole year and Rincon, Pat Neshek and Crain pitching in solidly.

But Barry Zito outdueled Santana in game 1, Mark Kotsay hit his inside the park home run on the ball Torii dove for but couldn’t keep in front in game 2 (right after we had tied the game with back to back jacks from Cuddyer and Morneau). And that was all the starting pitching we had- with Liriano done, and Boof Bonser pitching out of his mind in game 2, we had can’t-brush-his-teeth torn rotator cuff Brad Radke trying to gut his way through and running out of guts. And cartilage.

Maybe Craig Counsell or Kevin Cash could have made it work, but in 2006 there just wasn’t enough pitching.

In ’09 we had MVP Joe Mauer, Jason Kubel’s best year and Denard Span’s emergence. But the pitching relied a lot on Nick Blackburn and the mad rush to beat the Tigers in game 163 left us with Brian Duensing in game 1 against the Yankees. Brian Duensing was a nice pitcher that year, but he couldn’t handle that assignment. Game 2 was the Phil Cuzzi calling a fair ball foul game, the most errant umpiring call I know of next to the Armando Gallaraga perfect game disaster. Mauer singled anyway to start the 11th. So did Kubel and Cuddyer. Bases loaded, no outs, Delmon Young at the plate- he scaldes a line drive to Texiera at first for a loud out. Carlos Gomez grounds into a fielders choice at home, and Brendan Harris pops out. Kinda deserved that walkoff.

Who are you pitching with this team in a 7 game series anyway? And depth was an issue as well, otherwise Harris wouldn’t have come in for MATT TOLBERT, Gomez wouldn’t have hit with his .623 season OPS, and nor would Delmon with his .733. Blackburn and Pavano combined to go 12 innings, allowing 3 total runs between them in games 2 and 3, so even with those bonuses the fact that the team couldn’t even get to 4 games says a lot.

2010 could have been something, with a good offense led by Mauer and Thome, the one year Delmon Young was good, the year we had J.J Hardy and Orlando Hudson and Liriano had 200 k’s. But Morneau got his concussion, Nathan had Tommy John surgery, Kubel Cuddyer and Span all had bad years and it came down to Curtis Granderson hitting a clutch triple off of a cruising Liriano (The Twins led 3-0 going into the bottom of the 6th). Then the Twins realized that as nice as their seasons were, Carl Pavano and Duensing weren’t pitchers you rely on in the postseason- they pitched to contact and if their command wasn’t perfect they would get exposed. Guess what happened.

In 2017 the team wasn’t good. And they wouldn’t have made the playoffs if the Orioles, Angels and Royals didn’t all collapse while the Twins played .500 ball in September. Their starting pitching was average, with a great Ervin Santana season and a good Berrios one. But unlike the other teams on this list, the bullpen was suspect, with a not-quite-figured-out Ryan Pressly, sinker throwing Tyler Duffey and a Matt Belisle on the right side with a non-slider throwing Taylor Rogers on the left. Alan Busenitz and Trevor Hildenberger had career years but weren’t helpful in the Wild Card game, or really ever again.

The offense was the best of all the teams so far in a bit of foreshadowing, scoring 815 runs and featuring the last good Brian Dozier season, the start of Jorge Polanco busting out, and Joe Mauer having one last .300 season. Miguel Sano looked like a star for 3 months, then busted his shin and got a titanium rod inserted into it because he doesn’t care about baseball or something. Byron Buxton even had his first sustained period of excellence in the second half (and played 140 games!)

 Relying on the back end of the rotation

Those are the 7 playoff teams of the millennium. And here are the Game 3 starters for each ALDS team starting with ’02:

Rick Reed

Kyle Lohse

Carlos Silva

Zombie Brad Radke

Carl Pavano

Brian Duensing

 That group had a combined record of 0-6. This year the hope is that the new regime is smart enough to know that, even though they have 2 starters in Kyle Gibson and Martin Perez who are comparable to that group, and who tried hard and won double digit games, their best bet is to bullpen that game.

One aspect of the playoffs that teams are getting wise to but which have killed Clayton Kershaw in the past, is the inclination to “trust your guys” and “dance with the girl who you brought” or some other idiom about sticking with a certain pitcher out of loyalty or sense of obligation. Carlos Silva had a good ’04 season; of course Gardy would want to give him a playoff start. His results were quite a bit better than Kyle Gibson’s 2019.

But hitters hit .310/.342/.462 against Silva that year. You’re trusting your season to him continuing to get lucky. He gave up 10 hits and the series swung 2-1 to the Yankees.

 Results aren’t predictive

What we have in 2019 is the possibility that the Twins brass has learned from the mistakes of the past. You saw it in 2017 when they traded our closer, Brandon Kintzler, at the trade deadline. They knew that despite what the results showed, the team wasn’t good. Even though they got hot and made the WC game, they knew it wasn’t sustainable yet, and didn’t go crazy on free agents or win-now trades.

What the Levine Falvey regime did was take an objective view of their assets (is Mike Morin’s success sutainable? No? Ok then I won’t pitch him in the 7th inning of a playoff game. In fact, I’ll let him be the Phillies problem). They also threw all the “Twins way” shit out the window. No more getting benched for not going the other way, or for trying to hit a home run. And I know that point of view is very much a feeling and not really tangible- something inferred from David Ortiz’s comments years ago, a general sense watching games announced by Dick Bremer and Bert Blyleven, that power is nice but luxurious, as though wanting it too badly should be a sin. And then you have Joe Mauer, who embodied every aspect of that feeling- a guy who looked for his whole career like he could hit home runs, but didn’t because he wasn’t flashy, he didn’t want to draw attention to himself and must have believed that slapping singles and doubles to left field would be a more productive route in the end.

Here’s the big secret about Joe Mauer: As talented as he was- as a catcher, in his general coordination, in his eye at the plate, and his ability to slap an RBI single in some key spots for 14 years, he was kind of a moron. Seemed like he was a nice guy. But he has never in his life said anything remotely close to insightful and I truly believe that he earnestly and wrongly thought he could best serve his team by staying behind the ball and slapping it to left field. He was probably told that from a young age.

He mistook an illusion for a reality, and so did the Twins for 51 years. Every color guy on every team’s broadcast will talk about the importance of the fundamentals, getting the guy over, laying down a good bunt and going the other way. They will talk up players who do that for eternity, and constantly lament how the game isn’t played that way anymore. To every team trying to win, this is taken with a big fucking grain of Morton brand industrial sidewalk salt. They want 2-3 guys like that. To the Twins it was religion. They wanted 12-15 guys like that. They wanted Matt Tolbert, Nick Punto, Denny Hocking and Juan Castro. The did NOT want J.J Hardy or David Ortiz.

This has changed, hopefully, and with Mauer gone, it may have rinsed away completely. We set the freaking home run record. Mitch Garver openly admits he is trying to hit home runs. Max Kepler found out his power is to the pull side. Jorge Polanco found out he could take a rip early in the count. It’s all new; it’s all different. And I’m not saying the Twins will beat the Yankees in the first round because of this philosophy shift. What I am saying is that the 2019 Twins are NOT:

A Cinderella team getting their feet wet around 12 slightly above average guys (2002)

A decent offense with no pitching plus Shannon Stewart (2003)

A great pitching staff 1-2 with an average offense that gave starts to Carlos Silva and Kyle Lohse in the playoffs (2004)

A team with Boof Bonser as its #2 (2006)

A team that relied heavily on Blackburn, Pavano and Duensing in playoff games (2009 and 2010)

A lucky team with no bullpen and 1.5 starters (2017)

 So maybe they will.

  What’s different now

The best team out of the prior playoff teams is probably the ’04 team, whose struggling offense didn’t struggle in the playoffs. And with Santana being the best and Radke being HIS best, a modern manager could have used their decent bullpen to build something.

Now imagine the ’04 team, except their offense is much better. MUCH better. And despite having only two effective starters, can bullpen their way to wins with a pen that goes 6-7 deep. And unlike a Tony Fiore or a Ron Mahay, or a Matt Capps or Alex Burnett, this bullpen does stuff you can’t fake- stuff you can’t luck your way into.

Opponents are hitting .157/.223/.245 against Tyler Duffey in the second half.

They’re hitting .159/.220/.354 against Trevor May

(Both those guys were good in the first half, too)

Taylor Rogers gave up a .225/.273/.353 line for the year

To my count there are 9 relievers that can be counted on in different spots- Rogers, Duffey, May, Romo, Littell, Stashak, Dobnak, Graterol and Smeltzer (by different spots I mean that Rocco won’t throw Smeltzer into the 8th inning of a tie game to face Aaron Judge).

That depth can be leveraged to overcome the loss of Michael Pineda, and the fact that Berrios and Odorizzi are no locks to be effective. Stashak and Smeltzer can both give you 3 innings of effective mop-up duty that keep games close, and allows the offense to come back by exploiting New York’s middling starting pitching, and mercurial late inning relief (Namely Britton, Green and Ottavino).

 How to cope when Lew Ford leads your team in total bases

Almost as importantly, the offense isn’t going to need guys who had career years to continue thriving in the post when they were clearly playing above their true talent level. Lew Ford carried the ’04 team at times, but he was still Lew Ford, and he showed it against the Yankees and for the rest of his career. Same with Nick Punto in ‘06. Nelson Cruz is a force who scares the Royals as much as the Yankees.

Mitch Garver didn’t hot streak his way into a 1000 OPS; he’s kept it above .919 since April 9th. Check his game log.

These guys are actually good. So is Max Kepler, who I hope is ok. You don’t hit 36 bombs with reverse platoon splits by accident.

Marwin Gonzalez isn’t a great hitter but I trust he’ll take a good at bat when we need him too. You’ll appreciate that when you watch rookie Jason Kubel swing at two straight pitches at his eyes against Rivera in ’04.

Eddie Rosario is the wild card, and teams NEED* a wild card:

*Delmon Young on the Tigers, Yasiel Puig on the Dodgers, Alfonso Soriano on the Yankees, Eric Byrnes on the Diamondbacks. Rafael Devers for the Red Sox last year. That’s Rosario. Everyone needs an underachiever from the regular season to come up in the post.

Rosario, Polanco, Garver, Cruz, Sano and Kepler could all be game changing offensive players in a short series, which is not a quantity we’ve seen since Morneau went down with his concussion in ’10.

There’s no curse, the Yankees just exploited an obvious weakness of the Twins 4.5 separate times. That weaknesses boiled down to smoke and mirrors results that translated to good regular season stats, which led to Terry Ryan and Gardy trusting those results to be predictive. The 2019 team wasn’t built that way, otherwise Brandon Kintzler might still be part of it. The bullpen will have to perform for a lot of innings, the lineup will have to score, and one of Berrios and Odorizzi will have to perform to or above his talent level. As likely as it has ever been, this team could, say it with me here- take it to a game 5.

[brookston]

Holidays 10.9

Holidays

Abolition Day (Saint Barthelemy)

Community Day (Spain)

Curious Events Day

Day of National Honor (a.k.a. Day of Dignity; Peru)

Fire Prevention Day (Canada, US)

Fungus Day

Give Peace a Chance Day

Hangul Day (a.k.a. Korean Alphabet Day; South Korea)

Indian Foreign Service Day

Instant Karma Day

Leif Erikson Day (Iceland, Norway; Minnesota, Wisconsin)

Magic Lantern Day

Messenger Appreciation Day

Mop Fair (Tewkesbury, England)

National Chess Day (Original Date)

National Day Commemorating the Holocaust (a.k.a. Ziua Nationala de Comemorare a Holocaustului; Romania)

National Digitool Day

National Nanotechnology Day

National Sneakers Day

Nautilus Night

Pans/Pandas Awareness Day

Region of Valencia Day (Spain)

Samitinget Establishment Day (Norway)

Scrubs Day

Strawberry Fields Day

Tavistock Goose Fair (Devon, England)

Valencian Community Day (Valencia, Spain)

World Post Day (UN)

Food & Drink Celebrations

Beer and Pizza Day

International Beer and Pizza Day

Cupcakes For Life Day

Moldy Cheese Day

Submarine-Hoagie-Hero-Grinder Day

Yukon Gold Potato Day

2nd Sunday in October

Bokbierdag (National Bock Beer Day; The Netherlands) [ website ] [2nd Sunday]

Clergy Appreciation Day (a.k.a. Pastor Appreciation Day or Ministry Appreciation Day) [2nd Sunday]

Drink Local Wine Week begins [2nd Sunday]

Good Thief Sunday [2nd Sunday]

Grandmother's Day (Florida) [2nd Sunday]

Shojo Festival (Narumi Hachimangu, Nagoya, Japan) [2nd Sunday]

White Sunday (American & Western Samoa) [2nd Sunday]

Independence Days

Guayaquil Independence Day (Ecuador)

Uganda (from UK, 1962)

Feast Days

Abraham the Patriarch (Christian; Saint)

Atilla the Hun Day (Church of the SubGenius; Saint)

The Count (Muppetism)

Denis (Christian; Saint)

Dionysius the Areopagite (Christian; Saint)

Domninus (Christian; Saint)

Felicitas (Old Roman Goddess of Good Luck & Joy)

Festival for Venus (Ancient Rome)

Full Moon [10th of the Year] (a.k.a. ... 

Blackberry Moon (Choctaw)

Blood Moon (England, Neo-Pagan, Wicca)

Boun Ok Phansa (Laos; end of Buddhist Lent)

Dying Moon (Alternate)

Freezing Moon (Traditional)

Harvest Moon (Amer. Indian, Celtic, Cherokee, North America)

Hunter’s Moon (Amer. Indian, Colonial , Traditional)

Ice Moon (Traditional)

Kindly Moon (China)

Kojagrat Purnima (Nepal)

Migrating Moon (Traditional)

Seed Moon (South Africa)

Southern Hemisphere: Egg, Fish, Pink, Seed, Waking

Thadingyut Full Moon (Myanmar)

Travel Moon (Alternate)

Vap Full Moon Poya Day (Sri Lanka)

Ghislain (a.k.a. Guislain; Christian; Saint)

Innocencio of Mary Immaculate and Martyrs of Asturias (Christian; Saint)

John Henry Newman (Christian; Saint)

John Leonardi

Knot Day (Pastafarian)

Luis Beltran (a.k.a. Lewis Bertrand; Christian; Saint)

Robert Grosseteste (Church of England)

Roger Bacon (Positivist; Saint)

Takayama Autumn Festival begins (Japan)

Wilfred Grenfell (Episcopal Church (USA))

Lucky & Unlucky Days

Butsumetsu (仏滅 Japan) [Unlucky all day.]

Unfortunate Day (Pagan) [47 of 57]

Premieres

Babe, by Styx (Song; 1979)

Couples Retreat (Film; 2009)

Dance Dance Dance,, recorded by The Beach Boys (Song; 1964)

The Iceman Cometh, by Eugene O’Neill (Play; 1946)

Little Big Man, by Thomas Berger (Novel; 1964)

Little Einsteins (Animated TV Series; 2005)

Mogambo (Film; 1953)

Phantom of the Opera (Broadway Musical; 1986)

Thomas & Friends (Animated UK TV Series; 1984)

Timewasters (BBC TV Series; 2017)

Today’s Name Days

Dionysius (Austria)

Abraham, Dionizije, Sara (Croatia)

Sára, Štefan (Czech Republic)

Dionysius (Denmark)

Mariina, Riin, Riina, Riine (Estonia)

Ilona (Finland)

Denis (France)

Doings, Elfriede, Günter, Sara, Sibylle (Germany)

Avraam, Lot (Greece)

Dénes (Hungary)

Abramo, Dionigi, Ferruccio, Lorenzo, Sara (Italy)

Elga, Elgars, Helga (Latvia)

Dionizas, Virgailė (Lithuania)

Leidulf, Leif (Norway)

Arnold, Arnolf, Atanazja, Bogdan, Dionizjusz, Dionizy, Jan, Ludwik, Przedpełk (Poland)

Dionýz (Slovakia)

Abraham, Abrahán, Dionisio, Héctor, Juan, Luis, Sara (Spain)

Inger, Ingrid (Sweden)

Rebecca (Ukraine)

Denice, Denis, Denise, Dennis, Denny, Dion, Gunnar, Gunther, Leif (USA)

Today is Also…

Day of Year: Day 282 of 2022; 83 days remaining in the year

ISO: Day 7 of week 40 of 2022

Celtic Tree Calendar: Gort (Ivy) [Day 9 of 28]

Chinese: Month 9 (Júyuè), Day 14 (Yi-Wei)

Chinese Year of the: Tiger (until January 22, 2023)

Hebrew: 14 Tishri 5783

Islamic: 13 Rabi I 1444

J Cal: 12 Shù; Fourssday [12 of 30]

Julian: 26 September 2022

Moon: 100%: Full Moon

Positivist: 2 Descartes (11th Month) [Roger Bacon]

Runic Half Month: Gyfu (Gift) [Day 14 of 15]

Season: Autumn (Day 17 of 90)

Zodiac: Libra (Day 15 of 30)

[brookstonalmanac]

Holidays 10.9

Holidays

Abolition Day (Saint Barthelemy)

Community Day (Spain)

Curious Events Day

Day of National Honor (a.k.a. Day of Dignity; Peru)

Fire Prevention Day (Canada, US)

Fungus Day

Give Peace a Chance Day

Hangul Day (a.k.a. Korean Alphabet Day; South Korea)

Indian Foreign Service Day

Instant Karma Day

Leif Erikson Day (Iceland, Norway; Minnesota, Wisconsin)

Magic Lantern Day

Messenger Appreciation Day

Mop Fair (Tewkesbury, England)

National Chess Day (Original Date)

National Day Commemorating the Holocaust (a.k.a. Ziua Nationala de Comemorare a Holocaustului; Romania)

National Digitool Day

National Nanotechnology Day

National Sneakers Day

Nautilus Night

Pans/Pandas Awareness Day

Region of Valencia Day (Spain)

Samitinget Establishment Day (Norway)

Scrubs Day

Strawberry Fields Day

Tavistock Goose Fair (Devon, England)

Valencian Community Day (Valencia, Spain)

World Post Day (UN)

Food & Drink Celebrations

Beer and Pizza Day

International Beer and Pizza Day

Cupcakes For Life Day

Moldy Cheese Day

Submarine-Hoagie-Hero-Grinder Day

Yukon Gold Potato Day

2nd Sunday in October

Bokbierdag (National Bock Beer Day; The Netherlands) [ website ] [2nd Sunday]

Clergy Appreciation Day (a.k.a. Pastor Appreciation Day or Ministry Appreciation Day) [2nd Sunday]

Drink Local Wine Week begins [2nd Sunday]

Good Thief Sunday [2nd Sunday]

Grandmother's Day (Florida) [2nd Sunday]

Shojo Festival (Narumi Hachimangu, Nagoya, Japan) [2nd Sunday]

White Sunday (American & Western Samoa) [2nd Sunday]

Independence Days

Guayaquil Independence Day (Ecuador)

Uganda (from UK, 1962)

Feast Days

Abraham the Patriarch (Christian; Saint)

Atilla the Hun Day (Church of the SubGenius; Saint)

The Count (Muppetism)

Denis (Christian; Saint)

Dionysius the Areopagite (Christian; Saint)

Domninus (Christian; Saint)

Felicitas (Old Roman Goddess of Good Luck & Joy)

Festival for Venus (Ancient Rome)

Full Moon [10th of the Year] (a.k.a. ... 

Blackberry Moon (Choctaw)

Blood Moon (England, Neo-Pagan, Wicca)

Boun Ok Phansa (Laos; end of Buddhist Lent)

Dying Moon (Alternate)

Freezing Moon (Traditional)

Harvest Moon (Amer. Indian, Celtic, Cherokee, North America)

Hunter’s Moon (Amer. Indian, Colonial , Traditional)

Ice Moon (Traditional)

Kindly Moon (China)

Kojagrat Purnima (Nepal)

Migrating Moon (Traditional)

Seed Moon (South Africa)

Southern Hemisphere: Egg, Fish, Pink, Seed, Waking

Thadingyut Full Moon (Myanmar)

Travel Moon (Alternate)

Vap Full Moon Poya Day (Sri Lanka)

Ghislain (a.k.a. Guislain; Christian; Saint)

Innocencio of Mary Immaculate and Martyrs of Asturias (Christian; Saint)

John Henry Newman (Christian; Saint)

John Leonardi

Knot Day (Pastafarian)

Luis Beltran (a.k.a. Lewis Bertrand; Christian; Saint)

Robert Grosseteste (Church of England)

Roger Bacon (Positivist; Saint)

Takayama Autumn Festival begins (Japan)

Wilfred Grenfell (Episcopal Church (USA))

Lucky & Unlucky Days

Butsumetsu (仏滅 Japan) [Unlucky all day.]

Unfortunate Day (Pagan) [47 of 57]

Premieres

Babe, by Styx (Song; 1979)

Couples Retreat (Film; 2009)

Dance Dance Dance,, recorded by The Beach Boys (Song; 1964)

The Iceman Cometh, by Eugene O’Neill (Play; 1946)

Little Big Man, by Thomas Berger (Novel; 1964)

Little Einsteins (Animated TV Series; 2005)

Mogambo (Film; 1953)

Phantom of the Opera (Broadway Musical; 1986)

Thomas & Friends (Animated UK TV Series; 1984)

Timewasters (BBC TV Series; 2017)

Today’s Name Days

Dionysius (Austria)

Abraham, Dionizije, Sara (Croatia)

Sára, Štefan (Czech Republic)

Dionysius (Denmark)

Mariina, Riin, Riina, Riine (Estonia)

Ilona (Finland)

Denis (France)

Doings, Elfriede, Günter, Sara, Sibylle (Germany)

Avraam, Lot (Greece)

Dénes (Hungary)

Abramo, Dionigi, Ferruccio, Lorenzo, Sara (Italy)

Elga, Elgars, Helga (Latvia)

Dionizas, Virgailė (Lithuania)

Leidulf, Leif (Norway)

Arnold, Arnolf, Atanazja, Bogdan, Dionizjusz, Dionizy, Jan, Ludwik, Przedpełk (Poland)

Dionýz (Slovakia)

Abraham, Abrahán, Dionisio, Héctor, Juan, Luis, Sara (Spain)

Inger, Ingrid (Sweden)

Rebecca (Ukraine)

Denice, Denis, Denise, Dennis, Denny, Dion, Gunnar, Gunther, Leif (USA)

Today is Also…

Day of Year: Day 282 of 2022; 83 days remaining in the year

ISO: Day 7 of week 40 of 2022

Celtic Tree Calendar: Gort (Ivy) [Day 9 of 28]

Chinese: Month 9 (Júyuè), Day 14 (Yi-Wei)

Chinese Year of the: Tiger (until January 22, 2023)

Hebrew: 14 Tishri 5783

Islamic: 13 Rabi I 1444

J Cal: 12 Shù; Fourssday [12 of 30]

Julian: 26 September 2022

Moon: 100%: Full Moon

Positivist: 2 Descartes (11th Month) [Roger Bacon]

Runic Half Month: Gyfu (Gift) [Day 14 of 15]

Season: Autumn (Day 17 of 90)

Zodiac: Libra (Day 15 of 30)

[jhelenoftrek]

Ok.  I found this picture earlier and it’s like a worm that’s worked its way into my brain.  I can’t ignore it.  I won’t be able to sleep until I poke fun at it at least a little.

-Kate is SO tired, as @rikerssexblouse would say, she has literally become one with the couch.  Her hand positioning is perfection and I’m sure it wasn’t at all uncomfortable.  She also seems to have lost a leg somewhere, but I digress.  

-Poor Jennifer.  As we’ve seen before, she looks like someone has threatened her to show up to this photo shoot.  I want to rescue her.  

-WHERE IS GARRET’S OTHER ARM!?  Is it sewn into the fabric of the couch?!  Like, where does his sleeve stop and the cushion begin… does anyone know?  Could that be his hand on Kate’s head?  

-RDM is just huggin himself back there.  I feel you bro, I need a hug after witnessing this disaster too.

-Roxanne has to pee but is following Garret’s lead and is gonna smile through this pain, dammit.

-Tim may have a broken wrist but I’d need to see the x-ray and Ethan might *might* be laying on top of his legs.

I’m digging how they chose the fabrics for Jennifer, Ethan and Beltran to be kinda like the throw pillows that would come along with this sofa.  You’ll note that they’re the ones who look least happy to be there.  Am I reading too much into the irony there?  Probably.

-Beltran is also sporting the “I have no hands/lower arms” look so as to make the rest of his body appear bigger than Roxanne and Jennifer combined.  That added to the expression that reeks of “someone just told me my dog has died and I’m trying to hold it together” really makes this a good portfolio picture for him.  Did he forget to smile?  Dude, you’re bringing down the whole happy-furniture-store vibe here.  Take a cue from Garret, he’s so happy you can see his teeth.  Anyway, Beltran, I love you, but you and the other throw pillows are really killing the mojo.

-Bob Picardo is just praying that this picture never gets published anywhere.  Sorry Bob, prayers aren’t always answered.

Bonus: what is the weird white outline at the end of the couch by Jennifer (does she have a third pant-leg hanging down there?) and where does the floor start against that #weneedmorebeige wall?

[ladyshinobi]

Episode 78: A Really Reluctant Recap

Well Fuck.

That was A LOT, wasn't it?

It's funny cause as I watched the EP I was not only ATTACKED by the SAVAGE amounts of Angst and Drama, but also kept thinking:

"Ha..ha how the fuck am I gonna pull funny memes outta this clusterfuck of an EP!?"

Well CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!

It's Fine ...I'm Fine lol, lets get to it shall we?:

______________________________________________________________________

I KNEW they would talk it out, Juls was as sincere and heartfelt as her stoic self allowed her to be so there's that, even Val was surprised by Juls drinking alcohol but once again, she was in a BAD PLACE so I wouldn't hold it against her really.

Juls practically pleading her case to Val was so fuckinnnnn’ painful to watch, and Valentina's bittersweet reaction hurt just as much, I think she believes Juls regret is genuine but It doesn’t mean what happened doesn't hurts her like a motherfucker (and IT WILL, at least for a while)... 

UGHHHHHHH The Angst is REALLLLLLLLLL.

Well well, Chivis being Chivis wants Juls and Lupe outta her house, good to see Lucia giving Jacobo (and them) the benefit of the doubt, If this shit leads to the goddamn Costa Rica plot finally unfolding I'll fucking SUE, ok?

Well isn't this AWKWARD AF!?

The whole "3's a crowd" vibe was insane but at the same time the sadness and grief over losing a longtime friend felt genuine and real, and that hug, If you can see past the obvious awkwardness there's so many layers there: Sergio desperately looking for solace and Juliana reaching for forgiveness while Val is there for both while also dealing with her own shit? Poetic Cinema lol.

Also according to the internet the level of G.A.F (Gay As Fuck lol) BOTH Val & Juls outfit's displayed was over 9000? Español Juliantinas on Twitter baptised Juls' as the TURBO GAY outfit which really made me crack the hell up lol. Also Val's Jacket should have its own spin off at this point XD.

Transmigration Plot Engaged! So Juliana told Val everything Beltran told her, Juls seems to be finally starting to believe, and I think Vals will accept this whole thing quite easily TBH.

And now to the Main Event:

That last convo tho! It was a natural progression from the first one they had in Vals room, It was SO tense, hopeful and bittersweet but also incredibly mature and healthy?

Val struggling INMENSELY to put some boundaries bewtween her and Juls but STILL doing it anyway? and Juls repeatedly insisting on their undeniable connection but respectfully accepting Val's need for space? ...

(Healthy) Relationship Goals honestly, now for the funny part, NO ONE, (not even them by the immediate hand holding and long ass heart-eyes staring they pulled right after) actually believed the whole "Just Friends" thing right? 

RIGHT XD.

I don't know why but as this scene played out my brain immediately went to "Just Friends" by Amy Winehouse, ADD IT TO THE JULIANTINA PLAYLIST! lol.

*Note to self: Its been ages, go listen to some Amy Winehouse ASAP*

Well this EP was A LOT, If not for Spoiler Queens Maca & Barb I honestly think the level of Angst would have been WAY higher? like FANDOM MELTDOWN Higher? 

I'll admit If it weren't for the bunch of spoilers I've seen I would have been reallyyyyyy unsure about them being endgame after this EP, this time Spoilers actually made the angst somehow enjoyable since we know it'll be fine (eventually) anyway.

I'll now go listen to some Amy Winehouse and be sad since she can't make great music no more 'cause you know, DEATH.

K, Thanks, Bye.