#Bella has CPTSD and needs therapy

[no-blood-no-foul]

So I know in New Moon Smeyer was going for ‘this is the ultimate true love - Bella is so depressed because Edward left’… but I wish she’d also focused on the trauma Bella went through with James in Twilight - how does Bella just gloss over the fact she was willingly going to die to save her mother? That she was tortured by a vampire?and the fact that she was promised this future and family and money and immortality and then it just went…poof. Vanished. And she can’t talk to anyone about it?? Like, that is depressing (along with Edward leaving obvs)

[thelifeoflorna]

~5/11/2021~ Today I've been caught in a fog of exhaustion - desperately trying to navigate our way out. Had specialist mentoring session first thing - towards the end there was a loud alarm noise that hurt our ears 😰🙉 and then when we looked up there was a super cute dog on the screen - mentor has a therapy dog who needed a bit of reassurance after the alarm - we want to go meet her in real life 🐶🧡 We like our mentor - there's just the odd thing she says that makes us feel a bit weird like she said to 'please' make a plan to look after myself this next week - when people say stuff like that sometimes makes me feel like haven't been trying hard enough 🙃 A came to cover H's shift 💜 Helped me out at home, we did her supervision, then quick Caffe Nero trip - was good to chat to her. Afternoon mainly consisted of working way through to do list and running errands - trip to pharmacy as per, and sat in Waitrose café trying to make a study plan for next few weeks and a plan for next week which will hopefully have room for more #selfcare 🤍 - I'm trying... This evening Bella and I have been sitting strongly together sheltering from the fireworks that we can annoyingly hear but not see 🎆🤯 🦄 #instadaily #instablog #update #mentalhealth #dissociativeidentitydisorder #cptsd #autism #traumarecovery #edrecovery #anxiety #chronicillness #disability #pots #potsie #dysautonomia #positivevibes #recovery #nymans #nationaltrust #walking #nature #naturelove #natureseeker #changeofseasons #georgiaokeeffe #flowers #ethereal #flowergram #wildflowers (at Nymans National Trust, Handcross, Haywards Heath Rh17 6bt) https://www.instagram.com/p/CV6TERTq0THJR3OTrIPT8bpAIENOWuWS8Sgjkk0/?utm_medium=tumblr

[thelifeoflorna]

~26/10/2021~ This week at work I'd booked as protected resource creating time but so far has consisted of catching up an a lot of admin, but worked my way through a very sizeable to do list, so hopefully tomorrow I can make a better start on the other stuff, though also got to renew my suicide prevention training at some point (fun times!). Had my dietician appointment in the afternoon - it was a different person to who we were expecting which threw us a bit, but it was all fairly straight forwards - been discharged from the dietician team as my gastro issues don't appear to be diet related other than changes I'd already made to my diet, also agreed to stop the disgusting tasting prebiotic drink I've been trialling for the past 4 weeks as it's made no significant difference to my symptoms - that's a relief. Occ health were supposed to call me today but didn't. So late afternoon decided to carry on with some emails on the bus - went to Crawley to pick up some more wool to finish my knitted blanket as well as some other essentials before the shops shut. Dinner in McDs, then home, W came in to help me, now chilling with my Bella. Thing to do with therapy situation has been on our mind but been trying to remind myself of something AKA said: "It's not that we don't think you're deserving of the therapy or that you don't need the therapy"... 🦄 #instadaily #instablog #update #mentalhealth #dissociativeidentitydisorder #cptsd #autism #traumarecovery #edrecovery #anxiety #chronicillness #disability #pots #potsie #dysautonomia #positivevibes #recovery #littlehampton #sunset #beach #reflections #walking #amazingsky #glow #skyporn #beachbound #nature #beachvibes #sea (at Littlehampton Sea Front) https://www.instagram.com/p/CVgZQt5qndL9sAqplKHuxEMW0c-YieebaelIRc0/?utm_medium=tumblr

[thelifeoflorna]

~13/3/2020~ So yesterday - a very intense and complete mess of a day. Amongst other things I found out that I have a severe allergy to mercaptobenzothiazole - an additive found in rubber and basically any product with a rubber component or elasticity to it, including clothing, detergents, soles of shoes, mats, cords, plugs, pretty much everything! I've been told I need to completely eliminate all contact, but that's going to be impossible. My theory is - I've survived 28 years without knowing I have this allergy - I'm just going to minimise and prevent contact as far as possible. 🦄 So today, I was definitely feeling calmer than yesterday. I had to have the day off work, but will be back next week (believe it or not!). Tbh I really needed the day off - I rested this morning - Bella has been so loving towards me 🐱💜 I sent a couple of emails. Had a bit of a look at what jobs are out there because most likely I'm going to want to be leaving the organisation I currently work for. I also made a start on the main scratch art piece I want to create in memory of the person I knew who ended their life 🌈 🦄 A came this afternoon. We went out for some food, which I really needed as got in a bad cycle over the past couple of days. We went for a walk and then to see her pony 🐴 A took me to the station at the end of her shift as I've decided to go to parentals for the weekend - hoping the change of scenery will help. Currently trying to shut myself away from all their talk about the coronavirus 👎 They've been on the phone talking to relatives and friends in Italy and Spain, where it sounds completely 😱 🦄 On the whole we're trying desperately to keep calm and take each day as it comes. This last couple of days have been probably the biggest struggle I've ever had with my mental health without ending up in hospital - we're very much on the edge, but need to get through this. 😥💪 🦄 #instadaily #instablog #update #mentalhealth #dissociativeidentitydisorder #cptsd #traumarecovery #edrecovery #anxiety #chronicillness #disability #pots #potsie #dysautonomia #positivevibes #recovery #depression #equinetherapy #crisis #horse #pony #horsesoninstagram #newforest #cute #therapy https://www.instagram.com/p/B9r419YpH7zOEv52DPZd4Eke3C3L8X2sfLWnFE0/?igshid=1nw10sfkncguk