#Being in gang feels like a teen titans go episode

[barneysbigstompers]

ILL CALL YOU MASTER ILL CALL YOU MASTERR 💔💔💔💔💔💔

[blue-florist]

ok, so i was re-watching some episodes of Teen Titans Go cuz why not, and i saw "Colors Of Raven", in which the mysterious prism appear. It appears in other episodes, here's the wiki.

So, in my very Young Just Us deprived brain, what if they went on a mission and got this prism? for whatever reason.

Problem: Tim (Red Robin era) touches it. Immediately splits and YJ calls the batfam over cuz Tim is pretty well-contained on his own.

Pls feel free to use this idea, or say what you think. I just wont write an actual fic cuz i can't write for shit.

I wonder which "traits" he would split into.

(my knowledge is mostly Fanfic-centric cuz i forgot cannon lol)

Obsessive/Detective:

Ok but tim cannonically found out batman's identity at 9 and later found out WHERE Batman was at 17. He is a genius, and i like how the fandom makes him nearly obsessive with cases he can't figure out (gifted kid much lol?)

Tired/Done with life:

Mans got that self-induced insomnia, but i also hc him as like "misses 10 hours of sleep? sleep for 10 more to balance it out." Tim is constantly tired juggling Wayne Enterprises and Vigilantism, he deserves a break.

Plus, we can see Tim sacrificing/almost sacrificing himself in some moments, so I also hc him as passively suicidal, mostly caused by the cynicism he developed with becoming a vigilante.

Serious:

Ok, but for this kid to be CEO, face down people like Ra'as and stubborn his way into everything without even being an adult? he's got some balls man. Plus, his Red Robin persona is "intimidating", much like how i imagine batman to be (that cowl is so ugly it's terrifying also)

Personas/Actor:

Tim is known as "the robin who can lie to batman", ofc he is a good actor. I think a bit of the "socialite Tim" fan hc has taken a bit of a special spot in my brain, but Caroline Hills exists also so who am I to discuss this really?

Childish/Fun:

Ok, this is a bit of a treat to me. Tim cannonically skates and has used it to fight a gang, befriended a guy who turned into a cult leader, I think Tim (in all of his LoserBoy glory) deserves to be acknowledged as a fun person. The one who jumps trains with Dick, is close friends with the YJ, befriended Steph via recieving brick to face, etc. he is a fun little guy and i want to see him act goofy and silly for once.

[captainlordauditor]

very serious question - have you watched Titans? i feel like. they have massacred my boy. re: Dick. like the characterization of Every Single Character kills me. i’m lowkey hate watching it but i can’t stop

I'm in the middle of it right now - I just started season three, since I have no attention span for binging.

I actually don't hate large portions of its characterization. It kind of reminds me of a lot of the, like, 2000s-mid 2010s B shows that you'd see on Syfy or similar channels, where the characters are just fleshed out enough to make them feel watchable. They're not full on real people, but they're more like bas relief carvings than cardboard cutouts (It actually pairs nicely with the 2002 Birds of Prey, which was definitely a B show of that vein, and works from the same point of view that Titans does, as an Elseworld). So far the characterization for the most part doesn't feel bad so much as simple.

The characters aren't all that different from comics counterparts at their base, but the plot often demands that they act like idiots - often rude or cruel idiots - to make it work. The episode where all the Titans gang up on Jason, for instance - okay, one, not in the comics, but two, it makes no sense that they would all instantly blame Jason, who has no way of knowing about half their triggers and not, like. One of the empaths.

If anyone feels the most off to me it's Donna, which I think is a result of the Titans take on the Amazons being excessively 2000s B-show-esque. I'm also not personally a fan of Barbara being police commissioner, which ties into my issue with their portrayal of the police overall as a force that Dick doesn't really contend with as an enemy until the middle of season 2, and even then only pretty temporarily. How this relates to the whitewashing of Dick is another matter. The thing about Dick's characterization in Titans is that it's pulling a lot from a lot of very different sources to create a new Dick Grayson, rather than showing one that already exists in a specific continuity. Dick's anger and estrangement from Bruce is from the 70s-80s Bat comics. A lot of his characterization in relation to the other Titans feels very reminiscent of New Teen Titans, where he's the straitlaced serious leader who's too similar to Batman. In Titans these attributes have been adjusted accordingly from the source material they're pulled from to meet the more violent tone of the show. They also included something that's one of my favorite Dick-things in the comics, which is his hallucinations when he's having a Bad Time - instead of hallucinating Jason in prison, Dick hallucinates Bruce, the family who's currently lost to him.

Where Titans really falls down is that it doesn't want its characters to change. It's pretty decent at set up (the scene where Dick talks about burning the Robin suit) but then it doesn't necessarily follow through (he keeps being ultraviolent and killing people just in civilian clothes). This is really apparent in its Jason. In his initial introduction, even post-Crisis, Jason was a sweet, bookish, caring kid once he adjusted to life at the manor. His violence was (and even as an adult to some extent still is) a manifestation of his powerlessness at not being able to protect people, which included both his dad and random people on the street. After his death, flashbacks and retcons turned him into the angry brash kid a lot of people think of him as, which is the route Titans chose to use. And this doesn't work, because if you're writing Dick during one of his "Fuck Batman" moments, and you're also writing Jason in one of his "fuck Batman" moments, and you're trying to show that Jason is the Bad One, then you have to flanderize Jason to have contrast, and then there's nowhere for him to go when he grows into Red Hood. They had an opportunity to do a really heartbreaking tragedy where the sweet 15 year old who quotes Jane Austen turns into a villain, and they didn't do that, because they can't write actual growth.

This ask was about Dick but I do want to touch on a couple of the other Titans real quick - Raven is fine, Titans just pulls from her more modern portrayals, which is not the version of her I prefer. Gar, again, fine, and I really wish they would give the actor more to do. Kon does seem to be younger, but it feels like a deliberate choice, and one I can't bring myself to have issue with given some of the shit that was in his 90s book. The other character I really want to talk about though is Kory.

Titans gets a lot of flack for its portrayal of Kory and as far as I can tell it seems to break into two main categories, which are 1)"I don't like Kory's life not revolving around Dick Grayson" and 2)"I'm racist". I'm paraphrasing, and maybe doing so in bad faith, but it really does seem that I saw a lot of people complaining about Kory having another love interest for five minutes but nobody complaining about Dick having other love interests in the show. And obviously, there was the "this woman who shows less skin than she does in the comics looks like a hooker" from people who didn't like that she was played by a Black actress.

But I'll take this in good faith. You don't like Kory because she's not like she was in the comics. Okay. In that case, I'm simply going to pull out my comics and ask you to consider the baggage a comics-accurate Kory would have on a live action screen played by a dark skinned Black woman:

(From New Teen Titans (1980) #2 - context is the Titans are at the pool, Donna gave Kory a bikini)

I for one am pretty glad that Titans went with "princess used to the finer things in life who's fed up with being royalty" instead of "scantily clad woman who lets her emotions guide her and is extra violent compared to the fully clothed White characters". (more panels under the cut so as not to clog your dash)

If I'd read NTT before Titans came out, I would've been pretty damn skeptical of the casting, because without changing her characterization I think it would've been one of those times where raceblind casting just absolutely does not work. NTT Kory really falls into that intersection of Nubile Savage and Green Skinned Space Babe that you see in stuff like JC's Avatar and Star Trek: TOS, and which has some pretty racist undertones already. As much as I love Kory, I'm incredibly glad that this characterization has largely been left behind for her, even though I'm also not fond of the cartoon's characterization.*

also from New Teen Titans (1980) #2

Both from New Teen Titans (1980) #16

From New Teen Titans (1984) #11. I'm certain there's more instances before this of Dick and Donna referring to her as "savage" but I don't have them handy because I didn't mark them in my notes.

*I think the cartoon leans a little too much into "let's laugh at this woman experiencing culture clash!" for my taste, which is... understandable given it's a show from 2003 for ten year olds, but is very unappealing as an adult. The ideal Koriand'r characterization is actually Red Hood and the Outlaws issues 10-13 and I will not be taking criticism until you've read the story

[animation-recaps-by-sean]

The Owl House For the Future Recap

The gang tries to navigate the Collector’s new playground while dealing with the fallout of their fight with Belos. Spoilers below. 

Cause even the shortened season couldn’t even go without some controversy, Canadian itunes leaked the whole episode two weeks ago. Urg, anyway, like last episode we pick up from the end of King’s Tide, except from the Boiling Isles point of view. The Collector rains down stairs turning people into puppets, including Lilith and Hooty. Oh Hooty, We hardly knew thee.

Once back in the Isles, Camilia has a hard time dealing with both what is normal for the demon realm and what the Collector is doing. But I love her little mom moments with Luz. Willow is trying to be everyone’s rock but this causes her to push down her own fears about her missing Dads. Her stress manifests as planets popping up until she nearly smooshes herself with vines. Hunter summons the magic inside him and talks her down and allows her to cry. It’s so sweet. And they hold pinkies. Oh my shipping heart, let them get together!

Meanwhile at Hexside, the kids have predictably fallen into chaos. Boscha is the puppet Queen of Kikimora whose big villain plan is.. Hide in a high school and pretend to be a teenager. Luz doesn’t see her as a threat. Camilia hitting Kiki face with the bat is fantastic!  

And Boscha, whose friends were some of the only teens taken by the collector, just wants Amity back as queen bee so she could get some kind of normal. But Amity just isn't that person anymore. But she can save her friends. I do find it hilarious that Boscha just wants to be the beta bitch to Amity's queen bee. In the end she redeems herself by leading the other kids against Kikimora, which was a pretty fitting end for her.

Without any palismans to eat, Belos is now falling apart. He sees the ghosts of Caleb and the other Hunters; it's about 50/50 between hallucinations and actual ghosts.

Odalia has escaped puppetification by working with the Collector and by working with, she’s basically a nanny. It is going better for her than Preston Northwest’s attempt to work for Bill Cipher. No Picasso face! I still wonder where Alador is.

Eda and Lilith are being kept safe from the Collector by King. They don't do much here but it's nice to see them.

Now to talk about the Collector. I know I'm in the minority on this, but I’m deeply disappointed that they’re going with a ‘wowowo whiddle baby who doesn’t understand the stuff they’re doing’ character. I really love the sinister build up The Collector had when they were introduced. The creepy cloak when they trapped the owl beast up to his excitement at the day of unity in Hollow’s Mind. But this feels like a very different character. I guess there are more sinister evil Collectors mentioned in the lore, and the Collector who trapped the Owl beast and the Grand Huntsman could be different Collectors. I don’t know, I just didn’t want the big bad to get Steven Universed. We still have Belos at least.  

I do feel like Luz’s Palisman was a cheat too. Oh, a snake shifter. Cool would be cool if I knew what the hell that was Luz. I did love how the palisman got hatched though. I love Luz’s little realization that she just wanted to be understood. And Luz calling her mom a secret nerd! So cute.

I continue to be impressed at the show's ability to organically fit in as much plot as it does. It helps that it was a very lean show to begin with, sneaking in plot and set up in even fillery episodes. As opposed to Steven Universe and Star vs the Forces of We Evil which loved to take many brothers with characters that don't back. Which is fine in theory but it left their finals rushed and awkward when they got cut short. I mean we still got one more episode but we don't have much left to cover. Just Collector/Titan lore (differently involving that gold guy Luz saw in the in-between), maybe some more Belos/Clawthrone history, final battle, and the resolution. There is the Bat Queen stuff but that hasn't been brought up since early season two and will most likely to kept in their back pocket in case of a revival.

Grips about the Collector aside, a wonderful part two. 3 ½ out of 4.

[harmonyspopculturecorner]

Comfort Media

Think about when you’ve been having a long day… or when you aren’t feeling the best… or even when you just feel like you need something to keep your mind off of everything going on in the world. What do you find yourself being drawn to? Some music that you associate with driving down the road, friends by your side? A fanfic that you found late one night and had you kicking your feet with how cute the plot was? Or maybe even a show that you know more dialogue to than you’d like to admit? Any piece of media that makes you feel at home, safe, relaxed… like you can turn your brain off for a while. That’s what I’d call comfort media.

Now, the idea of comfort media isn’t necessarily a new one. People have always had media that they choose to indulge in no matter how many times they’ve watched, listened, or read it. However, during the pandemic, when our world was literally turned upside down, this idea became more of a forefront. It took me until the pandemic to put a name to it, and since then I’ve realized that I have a few different pieces of comfort media.

My comfort media doesn’t have a theme… an anime, a music group, literary couple fanfiction, children’s cartoon, superhero animated show, and YouTube comedy. All of these are different, but all of them bring me a sense of relaxation at different times when needed.

One of my indicators that I am building up stress  is the urge to put on ‘Ouran High School Host Club’. This was one of the first anime I ever watched, and it remains one of my all-time favorites. I could quote countless episodes, and even list their titles in order (This is no lie, my friend can attest to looking at the episode list while I recited the titles off on a video call). ‘Ouran’ is my comfort because I don’t need to think while watching it. I can put it on in the background and easily be doing work… all while keeping focused and gradually calming myself down.

The shows ‘Scooby-Doo’ and ‘Young Justice’ season 1 do the same thing. ‘Scooby-Doo’ could be listed as my favorite piece of media ever. It’s classic, the stories are fun, the characters are relatable, and most importantly… It's my childhood. To this day, I still have two shelves worth of the ‘Scooby-Doo’ movies and show volumes. It doesn’t matter if I know who the ‘Miner 49er’ is already - I’m going to watch the episode and follow along as the gang finds clues, gets chased, sets a trap, and finally catches the criminal. 

‘Young Justice’ is, overall, an underrated show in the DC Universe. It was what really roped me back into liking superheroes. Growing up I watched ‘Teen Titans’, but I fell away from superhero media for a few years. Then, a friend suggested I watch ‘Young Justice’, and I was right back in. All 4 seasons of this show are great, but if I’m going to do a simple rewatch, it’s going to be the first season. There’s something about the original team of Aqualad, Robin, Kid Flash, Superboy, M’Gann and Artemis that always puts a smile on my face. The characters all have great chemistry, the storylines for the first season were clever, thought out, and reasonably challenging for the target audience. (Though not too complicated where you have no clue what’s going on) So, anytime I am beginning to feel my anxiety building I can throw ‘Ouran’, ‘Scooby-Doo’, or ‘Young Justice’ on the TV and instantly relax.

When I am just having a bad day, there are a few pieces of media I’ll turn to. First is something every nerd knows about: fanfiction. I read fanfiction for basically every media I enjoy, but there’s a specific kind I turn to when I need a smile:‘Percabeth’ fanfics. ‘Percabeth’ is the pairing of Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase from Rick Riordan’s ‘Percy Jackson and the Olympians’ series. I absolutely adore this couple more than words could describe. They’ve been through hell within their stories (I mean they’ve literally walked through Tartarus together). The fanfics I read give them the happiness and love they deserve. Instead of focusing on  battles and life-threatening situations, the fics I  read for this couple focus on the mundane. We get to see between the battles, helping bandage each other up and even watch them go through relationship growing pains. My favorite is glancing into their future, watching them live out their lives attending New Rome University together. Whatever the situation, seeing the creative stories fans write for these two never fails to make me smile.

The next thing I turn to on almost a daily basis (even when I’m not having a bad day) are ‘Smosh Videos’. I used to watch Smosh back when they first started on YouTube: Just two friends making silly skits and videos. I had no idea they eventually grew into a company with a whole cast, crew, and studio… until my friend put on an episode of ‘Eat It or Yeet It’ because they knew how picky an eater I am. Since then, I am always watching their newest videos. I even have the notifications on! The variety of their videos are fun and can appeal to many people. For example, you can find a plethora of new party games to play with friends from Smosh’s ‘Board AF’ series. Even my dad gets a laugh out of the crazy food crimes Garrett commits for ‘Eat It or Yeet It’!

My final piece of comfort media, the one that I truly hold closest to my heart, are ‘BTS Music and Videos’. Basically everyone has heard the name BTS, and there’s not really a need to explain why. They’re global superstars, not only for their music and talent, but because of their meaningful messages and love they share. I have so much to thank BTS for… they helped me begin to see my own worth and learn to love myself, they introduced me to a culture that led me to an amazing year of living abroad… and most importantly because of them I have two of the most important people in my life. Anytime I listen to BTS’ music or watch one of their videos I can’t help but smile. Nothing but good memories come from them, and that’s the ultimate comfort.

Comfort media can be different for everyone, and it can shift throughout our lives. However, one thing remains the same: These pieces of entertainment are a simple place to turn to when you just need to sit back, relax, and let the world fall away for a bit.

Thank you for reading! This is all simply my own opinion and thoughts on the concept of comfort media. I’d love to know your thoughts and what makes comforting entertainment for you! Feel free to comment and even share your comfort media too!

[popculturebuffet]

Static Shock: Shock to the System and Aftershock Review

“You know what? 13 years ago, me and some friends sat in a restaurant all night and daydreamed about the kinds of stories we would tell if we had the chance. We wanted to expand the concept of superhero to include characters that kind of looked like us, who had some of the same background, experiences and dreams as we did. We wanted to create something fun that a new generation would respond to the same way we responded to our childhood heroes -and damn if we didn't succeed beyond my wildest dreams. Today, Static Shock is a household name with millions of fans of all ages (Is there stuff I'd do differently? Yeah, almost all of season four but why nitpick?) Static is the most successful thing I've ever helped create and I'm both proud and gratified that people have taken it into their hearts. “ 

Dwayne McDuffie, Co-Creator of Static and Writer for Static Shock

This review is dedicated to Dwayne McDuffie and Robert L. Washington III.                                                        Rest In Power Static Shock is awesome. I grew up with the show watching it both first run on the WB and second run on Cartoon Network and loved it as much as I did other large parts of my childhood courtsey of DC like Batman the Animated Series, Teen Titans and both Justice League Shows. What makes this unique among the DC Properties is that Static wasn’t really a big name when he got a show. He wasn’t even part of the DC Universe. 

See as I had no idea for probably a good decade, Static actually came from Milestone Comics, a company ran by and focused on african americans. The goal was understandable: While black heroes existed at the time, and there were some fantastic ones like Storm, Jim Rhodes and Steel... these guys weren’t the center of their universes. The big faces of the big  companies, Spider-Man, Wolverine, Hulk, Iron Man, Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, The Flash.. were white. So milestone was a shakeup of that with the main teams and heroes all being black, from Icon, an alien who’d lived among man but rather than end up in kansas like say superman ended up imprinting on a slave woman centuries ago and has been with us since, who was encouraged by an energetic teenager named Rocket to put on a costume and do something with his powers and his community, Hardware, a tech genius who had his work stolen by a white asshole and wanted to fight back and BLood Syndicate, a group of gang members all caught in the “The Big Bang”, a huge fight between all of Dakota, the midwest city where the comics take place, that ended when the police released a bunch of experimental gas that gave them all super powers. 

As most of you who have watched the show already know, this is where Static comes from. Static was the company making their own Spider-Man, i.e. a nerdy teenager who suddenly gets super powers, in this case Virgil Hawkins who at the prodding of a friend took a gun to The Big Bang to get revenge on a bully. .but ultimately couldn’t go through with it, decided it wasn’t him and got rid of the gun and ran.. and still ended up in it, becoming Static, a young hero dedicated to using his powers to fight other “Bang Babies”.. a term that dosen’t really sound that great and they really should’ve thought through. But Phrasing aside the character was great and I look forward to reading more and only haven’t because I have to buy the issues gradually, but DC is currently re-releasing the individual issues of Static, Icon, and Hardware weekly in anticipation of a reboot of Milestone Coming in May digitally on Comixology at only 2 bucks a pop, and rereleased the original print collections that were long out of print for 10 bucks each, though i’m getting static on it’s own since i’ts really not that much less expensive as it only collects four issues while Icon and Hardware both collect 8, so I can wait a bit there on Hardware and already own Icon: A Hero’s Welcome.. and really need to review it at some point. 

While Milestone’s output was good, at least from the two books i’ve read, with Robert Washinton III, who sadly not only ahs also passed but was fucking homeless for a while  in the 2000′s.. what the actual hell, writing Static alongside Dwayne McDuffie, whose later moved onto animation writing tons of Static episodes all of them classics including the school shooting episode, the first three rubberbandman episodes and both Anasazi episodes. Point is it had good writers and artists and even had a distrbution deal with DC, so they had a leg up on the glut of other comic book companies.. but happened to start at the start of the comic book crash, a huge downturn in sales in the 90′s as the speculator boom, i.e. a bunch of people assuming every number one would be worth golden and silver age money, forgetting a character has to BUILD INTREST and this stuff takes time, and whose attempts to sell fast flooded the market with comics no one wanted,, caused the roof to cave in and with a bunch of assholes pegging milestone as a “Company for black people” rather than you know, a company trying to add fucking diversity and represntation to the comics industry, and that simply wanted a unvierse that was centered around people of color instead of white guys. The company eventually had to shut down, and was left to lisencing.  This is where the show comes in. Producers HAD been trying to make shows based on Milestone for a while, as far back as the mid-90s and the company was was all for it but the closest it got was an x-men style team series using various characters whose first draft was terrible and whose second draft by Alan Burnett, a producer on various DC Animated shows who’d go on to produce Static Shock, that McDuffie and others really liked but sadly did not get picked up. eventually though with presistance Static ended up getting a series and as I said McDuffie went on to write for it though he did not develop it. Some changes went into place naturally to make it work for an early 2000′s kids show and while i’ll probably miss so since again, only read one issue as we go. But due to Milestone coming back my intrest was peaking, hence finally reading the copy of Icon I had to buy from the library years ago due to keeping it overdue but am now EXTREMLEY glad I own as i’ts incredibly rare and really damn good, and wanting to read static, doing so lately since it’s finally on digtiial and again not too expensive. So join me as I give you a shock to the system and revisit this hell of a series to see if it holds up.. which just to cut that short it does and i’m only holding off binging MORE because I want the first two eps to be fresh enough in my head to review properly.. and also go over the various voice actors because that’s a thing with me now and charcter co-creator dwayne mcduffie because he’s awesome. 

As I like to do when covering a series first episodes, let’s run down the voice cast. 

First up is an UTTER LEGEND, and I use the term voice acting legend a lot, and mean it every time and have good reason to use it when I say it, and Phil LaMarr is a GOD in the buisness, having done a metric ton of voice acting roles, and being easily the most proflific black voice actor in animation. He’s also done some acting work, mostly in pulp fiction which I have not seen, but his true staying power and talent is in animation so here’s just the roles I feel are most notable or may not be very notable but i’m bringing up anyway because it’s my list. 

His roles besides Virgil include Lester Payton the Texas Ranger who showed up for one very good episode of king of the hill to be badass and show up the hickish, stupid and very punchable local Sheriff, Gearld’s obnoxious older brother Jamie O on Hey Arnold, Hermes Conrad from futurama, Carver from the Weekenders (PUT IT ON PLUS DISNEY), Axel Foley for exactly one bit in Clerks the Animated Series, but anyone whose seen it will know exactly which one, Micheal on the Proud Family, Black Vulcan on Harvey Birdman (In His Pants), Hector Con Carne and Dracula on Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy and Evil Con Carne, Jack on Samurai Jack something I didn’t know for decades (and I didn’t know about the carver thing till today though i’ts obvious in hindsight), John Motherfucking Stewart on Justice League and later Steel and Adult Static in the Unlimited seasons, Osmosis Jones on Ozzy and Drix, Bolbi Strogofski on Jimmy Neutron (And yes i’m just as shocked as you are.), Wilt on Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends, Marcus on Life and Times of Juniper Lee, Bull Sharkowski on My Gym Partner is A Monkey and Also a Sociopath Please Help God My Life is a waking nightmare..... okay the rest of that title is implied but we all watched the same show, we all know in our hearts that was the title

Moving on, he was also, and yes there’s MORE: Maxie Zeus on The Batman, Philly Phil on Class of 3000, Both Robertsons AND Fancy Dan on the Spectacular Spider-Man, Jazz on Transformers Animated, Kit Fisto and Bail Organa on Star Wars the Clone Wars, Gambit and Bolivar Trask on Wolverine and the X-Men, Aquaman I, L-Ron and Green Beetle on Young Justice, J.A.R.V.I.S. and Wonder Man (Simon Williams) In Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, Gabe and Carny on Kaijudo: Rise of the Duel Masters (Really miss that game and have been snapping up what cards I can get lately), Baxter Stockman in the 2012 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (And there’s also an awesome photo of him with 2003 Baxter... the two best together in one place. I got chills), Dormammu (I’ve come to bargin) in various Marvel Shows, Noville in Mighty Magiswords, Zach’s dad Marcus in Milo Muprhy’s Law, Craig’s Douchey Brother Benard on Craig of the Creek, showing he’s clearly come full circle, And Mr. Scully on the Casagrndes. And given It took about two paragraphs to cover all of this, yeah, I MEANT legend. 

Next we have Kevin Micheal Richardson as Virgil’s Dad Robert, and it’s the first time since I started introducing Voice Actors on a show that i’ve overlapped. I already covered him during the second episode of legend of the three caballeros, but for the short version he’s also very acomplished, very damn good and I somehow missed he played the old blind guy in hey arnold> Needless to say the dude is awesome. 

Virgil’s Sister Sharon is played by Michele Morgan who was in the rap group BWP and did some smaller roles outside of this the one exception being Juicy on the PJ’s, which I have not watched much of but REALLY do not like, though i’ll at least give it credit for being a decently long lasted black claymation sitcom at at time when there were, and hoenstly still aren’t, many black animated shows. 

Back to long casting sheets, next up is Jason Marsden, who is one of my faviorites as i’ve realized recently as Ritchie. As I also found out only recently he started on the Sitcom Step By Step and while that show is .. ehhhhhhhhh, he is great in it because he’s great in everything. He also apparently has his own internet variety show which I have to watch now. His roles include Max Goof, ironically given I was just talking about that role a few days ago, Haku in the english dub of Spirted Away, Micheal, the kid being yelled at by a bunch of 80′s cartoons characters not to take drugs in Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue!, Nermal in the DTV Garfield movies and The Garfield Show, Tino on the Weekenders (SERIOUSLY DISNEY), Snapper Carr on Justice League, Rikochet on Mucha Lucha! for the last season (Why I do not knkow and while I love the guy he was not the right choice), Felix on Kim Possible, Chase Young on Xiaolin Showdown (WHich I did not realize was him and now I do easily his best role and I REALLY should’ve), Red Star and Billy Numerous on Teen Titans, Speedy on Batman Brave and the Bold, Impulse/Kid Flash II on Young Justice, and Fingers on Kaijudo. He hasn’t done as much lately which is a shame but hopefully i’tll pick up again. 

Next up is Hotstreak, Virgil’s brutal bully turned unhinted pyromancer played by DANIEL COOKSY, another actor i’m happy to talk about and another faviorite I haven’t seen much of lately. Daniel was an actor from childhood, playing Budnick on Salute Your Shorts, but he quickly gained a long and storied catalogue of VA Work: His first big roll was as Montana Max on Tiny Toon Adventures and if there is a god he’ll be back for the reboot, Stoop Kid on Hey Arnold, the incomprable Jack Spicer on Xiaolin Showdown, far and away his best role and part of why Chronicles sucked so bad was he was he didn’t get to reprise the role, The titular Dave the Barbarian, Django of the Dead on El Tigre (Had no idea), Kicks utterly insufferable big Brother Brad on Kick Buttowski and apparently he’s back at it again after laying low for a bit as he’s voicing Snag in Long Gone Gultch.. which I already really needed to watch but hot damn, I missed him. Sign me up. 

Frieda, Virgil’s crush and close friend who in the comics was his main confidante and love intrest but here is eventually pushed aside, is voiced by Danica Mckeller whose work didn’t seem all that familiar.. until I found out she was Ms. Martian on Young Justice. Hello, Megan. Very talented and she did get a major role in a dc show eventually so good for her. Can’t wait for season 4. 

So with our major players out of the way,  let’s talk about Dwayne. McDuffie is an AWESOME man and my respect has grown for him more and more with time. A writer and editor at Marvel, McDuffie has a decent resume doing smaller but awesome books, which I got most of for free last year when Marvel was giving out free digital collections due to the lock down, like Damage Control, a sitcom set in the marvel universe about the company that picks up after superhero battles and the logistics and antics that insue and Dethlok, about a pacfist trapped inside a cyborg zombie. He was as mentioned one of Milestone’s founders, and wrote Icon, Hardware and co-wrote the first few issues of Static. He’d go on to a pretty stacked career in animation, writing on this show and Justice League before becoming  story editor and show runner for Unlimited , even making a return to comics as a result writing the Marvel miniseries beyond and an arc of Fantastic Four in which Black Panther and Storm filled in for Reed and Sue while the two of them worked on their marriage after Reed did.. pretty much everything he did in Civil War. He also became head writer and show runner for Ben 10: Alien Force and Ultimate Alien, revamping the franchise a bit, and Alien Force, at least the first two seasons are awesome and I feel people overreacted on the changes. Ultimate Alien is okay, but has it’s problems but the finale was awesome and left the man’s legacy on a high note.. as he sadly passed in 2011 due to heart complications. He is truly missed and produced some utterly amazing stuff whlie he was alive. So on that melacholy note let’s see what happens when his creation hits the tv screen shall we?

Shock to the System:

This episode is written by Christopher Simmons, who is apparently a huge art designer guy.. but i’m not sure that’s the same chirsptoher simmons. Much more notable is the writer of the episode after this Stan Berkowitz, who was showrunner for season 1 and has done a LOT of DCAU work and is suprising talent, having written a lot of awesome Justice League episodes including Secret Society and The Royal Flush One. Point is we’re in first class hands.  Before the episode itself I want to talk about the intro and how it’s unique among DCAU shows. Like most Western Animation the intros for DCAU shows didn’t change much over the seasons with the most I can see is JLU changing up the footage to preview the current episode and later adding Hawkgirl to the intro after her return to the team. I THINK superman the animated series changed some of it’s footage too, but I can’t confrim it and may of just been imagining it. As i’ve talked about on my blog it’s normally a pet peeve of mine, mostly because shows you know, change after season 1, characters get added some one shot characters used for the intro never return, and after a while it can feel dated especially in more recent shows where the status quo is not at all set in stone and things change quite a bit. But sometimes it can be good enough that either the dated elements don’t matter or general enough that you don’t need to change it and i’ts just that good.. and given Batman the Animated Series has both in spades, you can see why i’ts probably my golden standard for intros and after superman the animated series DC mostly followed suit. But being part of the teen superhero boom of the 2000′s Static is unique in that it splits the diffrence: It’s intro gets the character across perfectly like a good intro should starting with Virgil getting out of bed and running a comb across his head before showing off to his sister to bug her and literally running into his dad who hand shim his bag and smiles, silently showing off his family. He then runs to school and runs into some trouble.. and said trouble changes for each intro, with Rubberband Man for season 1, Kanga (Whose name I only know because I happened to run across it) for season 2 and your guess is as good as mine for seasons 3 and 4, though Hotstreak is a constant. They still save some money for seasons 1 and 2 by recycling some animation.. but that’s alright with mea s it was good animation, and the improtant thing is cycling out old villians for new ones, while Season 3 is the only out and out redo to show off Richie taking on the Gear identity, adding about 10 seconds of intro to let him show off.  Seriously it’s an utterly great intro and like the other DCAU intros outside of superman, stuck in my brain. 

The other change that’s ENTIRELY diffrent from the rest of htem is that the music changes each time. The first two have the same formula just with a difrent vocalist and backing track: a superhero theme but with some hip hop beat boxing over it. The first intro is fine enough, not specattcular but stilll god. The second song.. is eh. Not really great and feels like a marked downgrade from season 1 and just dosen’t blend an ocrehstiral superhero theme with the beatbox elements NEARLY as well. The third song though is my faviorite.. even if I HATED Little Romeo as a  kid because I really did not like his nick show, it’s more a straight up rap song, but it has a faster beat that fits the intro better, and Romeo’s bragging fits Virgil’s character and penchant for Spidey quips perfectly. I also find it ironic that the theme that blends in with the dcau the most, the first season’s, is the one from BEFORE they decided to put it in the same universe. Still this season’s intro slaps, I just like the LIttle Romeo one a bit more.  The opening scene is picture perfect. Some masked crooks looting a warehouse are loading some stolen TV’s into a van when suddenly the lights come on one by one above one of the crooks before his tv switches to various channels before going haywire. Cue our heroes’ entrance. Let’s tak ea good look at him

Static’s Costume is awesome. While I prefer the season 3 redesign, and clearly DC agrees as the redeisgn was used for both pre and post new-52 when they used him, and while he’s getting a fresh design for the reboot, said design takes a lot of cures from said outfit. As for how the outfit differs from the comics itself  this is the design he had in the comics

It didn’t change much from the first issue, with the exception of his now iconic big puffy jacket which was added pretty early into the character’s history but I was unaware of that and just assumed he had the bodysuit the whole time. The more you know. But as you can see outside of the cool puffy jacket over a costume the two couldn’t be more diffrent. While the Dakotaverse outfit is more a standard superhero outfit, with some regular clothes touches on top the first cartoon outfit comes off more realistic, looking fantastic, but still coming off as something two teenagers could realistically have thrown together with what clothes they could buy, while still looking awesomely superheroy. IN short it’s perfect and only topped by the season 3 onward look...

But the slicker look, with an even cooler jakcet and the new colors all fitting the lighting ascetic better, but fits: not only has Virgil come along farther since he started, but with Richie now having a genius brain as Gear, he can provide a far slicker, far more professional superhero outfit on the budget the two have.  This show is just great  at costume design. 

So getting back to the episode at hand, Static puts up a huge sign in elecrticy saying “Bad guys here”, PFFFT, and then hides away and narrates that a few days ago he’d be the last person anyone would’ve expected to be a hero. Cue Flashback. 

We meet Virgil Hawkins on an average day: rapping into his razor, getting into a petty argument with his older sister Sharon, as a younger brother myself I relate to this, and talking to his dad who tries to get them to cut that out. We find out his mom has passed via his sister making really terrible eggs and saying that’s how mom made them. Exposition! Though we do get a great bit through this as when his sister gets distracted by her boyfriend calling, he uses the opportunity of her leaving the room to dump the eggs.. after having earlier jokingly prayed to his mom for a way out of breakfast. “Thanks for looking out for me mom” That’s both very sweet and very hilarious. 

This is a change from the comics it turns out as I was utterly flored to find Virgil’s mom alive and well when reading the first issue of Static. Turns out this was a change made during development and one Dwane McDuffie admitted in the interview I got the tribute quote from to not liking as he had a good reason for having Virgil have a nuclear family, as most black families in media at the time were just one single parent and a kid or two with the other having either left or died. He wasn’t too bothered by it as while he preferred what he came up with in the first place, the show DID get some really good stories out of her being gone and didn’t just have her be absent because shut up. Virgil is still working over her death and the way HOW she died ends up playing an important role in this episode and gives Virgil a dislike of guns, as she died to gang violence. So the change wasn’t for stupid or racist reasons, but likely both to keep the character count down while giving them something to work with for storylines. Or it could’ve been for stupid reasons and the writers simpily made lemonade out of that very dumb lemon, either way it ended up working.  Virgil also plans to ask his friend Frieda out. Frieda was a bigger deal in the comics, being Virgil’s friend and confidante as well as his ocasional love intrest, but here while she was inteded to at least be his love intrest here, that sorta fizzled out. As for the best friend role we meet her replacement in Richie, which McDuffie conceded was the kind of change a studio would make swapping out a female character for a male one. That being said the crew made the best of it and Richie is awesome, a bit of an overcompensating dipstick at times, but a good sounding board and pal for virgil and funny as hell too. He was also gay, something only revealed post series by McDuffie.. but unlike say Dumbledore, it’s a bit easier to swallow here: The early 2000′s were an even worse time for gay characters in tv let alone cartoons, and if they couldn’t kiss or have sex scenes on regular tv, there was no way we were getting any representation in a children’s show. So it was largely just hinted at by Richie overcompensating in how “into girls” he was and i’m once again fine with this being word of god as it was literally the best they could do and his counterpart in the comics was also gay, if not as relevant.  Ritch encourages Virgil to work on his opening to ask her out as it’s awkward as heck, hits a bit close to home.. but I do appricate the show just .. having him try and ask her out from the first episode. They likely would’ve drug thigns out a bit granted had they used Frieda more, i’m not blind to the convetions of the time. .but as someone who got the very wrong idea from tv that just waiting around meant a girl would like you eventually, when no you need to actually try even if rejection happens, I honestly wish we had more of this in media than the other garbage morals at the time. 

So he prepares to , not helped by her mentioning guy after guy is asking her out.... but before he can F-Stop, the future hotstreak, shows up.  F-STOP

That being said...... it’s not as bad as the original gangster name for the comic’s version, Biz Money B. Yes BIZ MONEY B

So yeah while F-Stop is no more intimidating, it at least means I can stop laughing. Francis, because I can’t type F-Stop without laughing and this review is already behind, shoves Virgil out of the way and agressively hits on Frieda, even saying “you smell good”, the international sign your a douchebag and also to call the police. Virgil steps up to the guy and gets PAINFULLY slammed into the lockers, something I give the animation team a lot of credit for, as you can FEEL how fucking painful that was. Virgil is saved by Wade, another local gangbanger who in the comics was a close friend of Virgils but here saves him seemingly just because.. seemingly. 

On the way home though Virg’s problems don’t end as naturally, the giant sized asshole with nothing better to do has his goons corner virgil before VIOLENTLY beating him.. off screen but the noises, and the clear brusies including a black eye, on virgil afterwords.. just holy damn i’m suprsied they got away with this but it shows just how horrifing it was and that this is a step above regular bullying, which make no mistake is absoluttley terrible and the series would later do an episode on it and school shootings, into straight up gang violence. Wade shows up again and gets the bastards to flee.. but also makes it clear he can’t keep doing this.. and forces Virgil to meet him at his base under the bridge. And it’s a tense sequence, with Virgil KNOWING this is a bad idea but having no real choice and Wade making it abundantly clear that he wants Virgil to join his crew, and makes a chilling point: while Virgils dad RIGHTFULLY dosen’t want his son to join a gang as Virgil points out.. he can’t be there for him all the time and eventually one of those times, Francis will be around. And he may not surivive that. Virgil nods noncomittaly.  At home it gets even more grim as he dosen’t open up to his family, understandably as his dad would jsut say to call the police and well.. we’ve seen how the police treat black people. At best they’d just try and use Virgil as an informant and that likely wouldn’t end fucking well for Virgil. Ritchie points out he can’t join a gang, virgil’s mom died that way.. see told you it’d be important to the plot.. but I like how the story dosen’t offer an easy answer.. well okay he gets electric powers soon enough but without the fantastic element this is just an innocent kid caught between either joining the very thing his mom hated or hoping a system not built to protect him will keep him alive. It’s utterly saddening and chilling and holy shit is it amazing a cartoon in the early 2000′s was able to get away with.. ANY OF THIS, and they handle it great, paired down a bit from the comics but even then it’s still incredibly balsy they got THIS much in. 

Naturally Wade calls in his favor and our hero is forced to come running.. and soon finds out Wade’s brought him in for a massive gang war. Welcome to the big bang, baby. He hands Virgil a gun as things get started and Virgil.. drops the thing and tries to escape, in a harrowing sequence.. and runs into Francis because god apparently REALLY hates this kid today. As if to prove that the police show up and while that prevents a beating, they demand they disassemble. then release untested gas on them because of course they do. 

As a result the big bang truly begins, with the various gang members getting mutated.. and naturally so does virgil. Though he wakes up the next day seemingly fine. How’d he get home? Does his dad know where he was?

I don’t know and we’re not getting any answers, but Virgil soon finds weird stuff happening like his clock shorting out, change being attracted to him and his razor going wild. It’s only once he get sback to his room he gets an inkling of what’s going on and calls Ritchie to meet him at the Junk yard.. though it is a bit of a dick move as he dosen’t you know, tell him anything about Wade or Francis right away. He does at the yard though.. and that he has powers, having finally figured out how to use them to a point. And the series does provide a decent justification later as to why he’d get this so quickly: Virgil is a smart kid, gets great grades at school and apparnetly there’s even an episode later where he gets a scholarship to a fancy genius school. So him getting how elctromagntisim works or being a quick study on it makes perfect sense. 

Richie suggest the obvious.. to become a superhero. And the thought.. hadn’t occured to Virgil. It’s honestly a nice twist on the old trope. That he hadn’t thought of it, not because he’s selfish or any of that or needs to learn a hard lesson, those have been done.. simply because the rush of getting his powers, and implicitly of having a way out of his current predciament, a way to keep Francis off his back and keep Wade from pulling him in further. His own path. But once i’ts brought up.. he jumps on it. Part of it is being a nerd like you or I, of course he wants to.. and being a good intetioned one, he knows this is the right thing to do. It’s waht makes a superhero a hero: Anyone can get powers in a universe like this, esepcailly the dcau, but it takes true courage and heart to use them selflessly and knowing you’ll be in danger. It’s why I love surperheroes: they often didn’t ask for this but they do it anyway because somebody’s gotta. We also get an intresting wrinkle is superman is, at least I think in this episode I could’ve missed it or misremembered things, mentioned as a fictional character. That’s because originally like the comics this wasn’t part of the DCAU.. but eventually the crew decided it shared staff from it, shared a network, both first run and on reruns, why not just make it part of the DCAU proper. I fully support this decisionf: While i’m midly annoyed unlimited never really used anything from static shock outside of Static himself in the time travel episode, despite you know Static and Gear having BEEN to the tower and not being much younger than Kara and defintely older than Courtney, I chalk it up to weird rights issues or something like that. But having Batman, Batman Beyond, Superman, Green Lantern and the Justice League itself all guest star was a good idea, and expanded both static’s universe and gave the DCAU something differnt as most heroes in it were older and more experinced in contrast to the up and coming virgil. Again really would’ve been nice if he and gear could’ve been a part of the expanded league but production might of just been too far ahead or, given he had his own series, they might just have wanted to stick to toher characters. Also begs the question why Icon or Hardware wasn’t adapted for the expanded League but hey, questions for later and the tricky logisitics of the milestone rights might’ve been the issue. I don’t know I wasn’t in the room. 

So we get a costume montage, including Black Vulcan from Superfriends, who again ironically would be voiced by Lamarr not too long after this, though weirdly they DON’T use his outfit from the comics for this montage. I mean why not? It fits the gag and would’ve been a good second to last choice.But what could’ve been aside we get our winner and cut back to present day...

Thanks boys. Static finds out one of the things in the warehouse is a shipment of computers for the school and can’t help but show off, showing up to the school, where Frieda and Richie are setting up for the dance, and dropping off the computers, and even saying his catchphrase for the first time “I’ll put a shock to your system” (Which Richie chimes in with awesome line and I agree, great catcphrase), before helping set up and flirting with frieda. 

Though as Richtie says he’s a natural. He’s not wrong as he can work a crowd. .but back it up too as his first run out had him easily taking out the crooks, and as many teen superheros and fans of heroes of hte type, myself included will tell you, getting it right in one is not easy. Not even Miles MOrales was immune. All Static needs now is a villian. 

And the end of the episode provides one as we see, in horrifc and once again damn suprising detail most of hte new metas aren’t doing so good and are melting and other stuff and we catch up with Francis whose burning up.. and naturally given that hair, though given he named himself F-Stop it’s the least of his problems, he’s got fire powers and escapes to “Have me some fun”

So with that we end episode 1. And it’s excellent, a great way to introduce the hero and while the warehouse opening is a bit superflous, it is a decent addition, showing our heroes first outing in costume and giving us a bit of an action scene to get us through the very heavy rest of the episode. But the rest of the episode is no less grippping, telling the tale of a teen caught in an unwinnable scenario who suddenly finds a way out. And speaking of which waht of Wade? Will we see him again? Is he perhaps Ebon, the series big bad as I thought when I was a kid? What comes of the man who directly caused static’s origin?

Yeahhh that’s the one mistep I think the pilot makes. Frieda is understandable as that was likely a simple change in creative direction. This though? Why build this guy up if your not going to bring him back. I mean where he went was probably the grave, as he probably did due to his mutation, but it’s still VERY weird to spend a whole episode focusing on this guy, building him up as a big personal threat to our hero.. and NOT have him become the series big bad. And maybe he WAS supposed to be ebon and they just changed their mind. I don’t know but it bothers me it bothers me a lot. Otherwise though flawless. ONe more to go. 

Aftershock: We open outside an electronics store, as our heroes watch the news reacap what happened in the first episode, with the media dubbing it the Big Bang and revealing their could be hundreds of “Metahumans”, as Virgil dubs after deciding the media’s term “Mutant” dosen’t fit, a nice wink to the fact that that’s the term used in dc comics and I believe milestone but could be wrong there. Me I like the term, has a nice ring to it. 

At the store while Richie mulls over waht this means Static finds out he’s a human CD player.... this was before mp3 players and streaming on your phone made them horribly obsolete mind you and if you don’t know what one is congradualtions you live in some sort of bubble and you made me feel really old junior. 

Frieda happens to be there and Virgil quips “What’s the matter they run out of britney cds”. Dude she’s not bad. Also be careful what you wish for man. Nickeback returned the year after this. You have not truly suffered through bad music yet my young friend. They spot a kid looking feverish, and he soon turns into a purple werewolf, as you do. It’s a bang baby.. those are richie’s exact word and you may not want to start a panic there bud. Just saying your best friend is one. THeir not all like this. Our heroes book it only to run into Francis who naturally refuses to let them leave and only doesn’t try to beat up Virgil because Virgil points otu the werewolf and nonplussed, he goes to fight it, scarring it off by revealing his own powers. He’s now dubbed himself Hotstreak which points for getting an actually good name kid. No points for what happens next as unsuprisingly getting powers did NOT mak ehim a better person and he attacks Virgil who blocks with a garbage can lid and thankfully is blasted into an ally. Richie tries to guard frieda for damn obvious reasons but gets hsi shirt burnt up because shut up Thankfully Static shows up, and we get our firsdt full on superhuman fight as both fight each other with aplomb, and it’s a damn good fight.. and one that goes pear shaped for Virg as he’s caught off guard when he finds out Hotstreak can use his powers to fly, and tackles him and his previous trauma causes him to freeze up. Thankfully , as Frieda put in a call earlier, the fire department arrive and HOt streak has to retreat, though Virgil is bummed that he “Choked”. And I love this as it not only shows Virgil’s inepxerince, as this is his first time fighting a bad guy but that just because he HAS power now dosen’t mean trauma and his previous fear of Hotstreak goes away or you won’t freeze up from time to time. It dosen’t make him weak or anything like some assholes would call it .. it makes him human. Humans make mistakes, and it makes him all the more relatable that he’s not pefect and that he did freeze up as I know I certainly would at last once in the circumstances. 

Things don’t get better at dinner as Sharon and Pops argue over the bang babies with Pops calling them a meance and Sharon pointing out Static exists so they can’t all be bad. See assuming a group of superhumans are bad because a handful of them ar edick sis why the x-men had to get their own island nation. You can only save an ungreatful populous so many times before you say “fuck it i’m getting my own island, pay me for life saving drugs, save your damn selves and stop doing genocides on us. Kay thanks”. But he does bring up a valid point that rattles his son: We don’t know anything about the Bang Babies or their biological structures and it’s likely they might further mutate into monsters, Static included. 

Virgil, understandably, wants to check this and thus he and richie compare blood samples in science, to no real conclusion. She he checks out with his doctor who assumes he’s sexually active in a great getting crap past the radar bit and a bit of realisim, but he agrees to the test though if something came up he would have to tell Virgil’s dsad and is up front about this. Nice dose of realisim.

That night City Council has a meeting and the Mayor TRIES to deflect Papa Hawkins questions about the bang babies which again, while being a judgmental ass as not every person hit was a gang member (Virgil, and as we discover later some others), and not every gang member is there by choice, some by circumstnace some, like virgil almost was, because they HAD no other option. Again years of reading x-men may of just made me a bit touchy on assholes admitely assuming superpower people bad. But it’s clear the public is upset and while she says an investigation is underway... Virgil and Richie are not only not convinced, but figure she’s actively covering it up. And unlike everyone else there who probably suspects the same, they can do something about it and tail her.  It’s during this, and cleverly as I didn’t realie till writing this using similar skills to his human cd player act, Virgil listens in and discovers whose behind it: Edwin Alva, whose apparently richer than bill gates and a beloved phinarophist Alva, as it turns out, was actually the arch enemy of Hardware in the comics, taking advantage of the guy in his civiliian idtentiy and thus casuing him to launch a war on the asshole. He does transition into this series well though, being the one behind the gas that caused it and with the mayor agreeing to back off, planning to simply dump the info about the big bang on a disc then destroy everything for now till the heat dies down. Yup sounds like a corprate douchebag. 

Static tails him, finds the lab and infiltrates it, stealing the disc.. but getting caught by Alva’s goon, and trapped in a glass prison, forced to use ALL his power to escape and barely getting out alive, but not before bouncing off alva’s car. Still he now has the proof.. and meanwhile Hotstreak, who I was wrong did get captured, is forced to take pill sbut spits them out once the orderly is gone. Dude.. WHY DIDN’T YOU WATCH HIM. Make sure he swallows that shit especially since, as he has no powers right now and can’t harm you. 

Hotstreak escapes off screen and our heroes discuss the disc before he shows up, and we get a REALLY fucking amazing scene: Virgil ducks into an Alleway and ritchie is worried.. and Virgil disarms him with just one word responses Ritchie: Virg you can’t take him.  Virgil: Gotta. Ritchie: Well at least wait for the fire department Virgil: Can’t.  It’s simpile but it gets the point across: This is his fight, he can’t wait for help, and people need him. And this is what makes a true hero: It’s easy to be a hero when everythings going well.. but it’s the true ones who stick it out against the odds and fight anyway. And he’s going to.  So we get one hell of a fight, though naturally Hotstreak burns up the disc. And I do like this as it dosen’t feel contrived.. yes Static could’ve left it with ritchie.. but he wasn’t thinking in the moment and dind’t really have time to think abotu the disc, only that people were being hurt and he was all they had between them and Hotstreak. It was no choice at all. Still that pisses Virgil off that the last night’s work is now worthless, and he fully charges up and curbstomps francis who retreats into a clearing. Hostreak brags when static follows, as even he’s figured out Static needs to be around metal, as he’s usually on his disc or the street, and in the park there suppodsidly isn’t any. But he’s not THAT smart as Virgil points out two things: one, he hoped to do this on PURPOSE so they wouldn’t be around people and no on e would get hurt and 2).. this is a city, there’s metal everywhere.. and he awesomely and cleverly proves it by unlodging a sewage pipe with his powers and dousing his foe, winning and proving his stuff. I love this solution, it’s a clever spider-man type way to disarm him, using smarts and the einvroment instead of just brute forcing it. Though the sewage part wasn’t intetional our hero still won and gets praise from the people dumb enough to follow the fight. 

However at home Virgil points out it was  Pyrrhic Victory and shows off his smarts by telling the tale behind it, which I didn’t know,because tv tropes didn’t exist yet: king pyrhus fought the romans and WON.. but had so little armies left that he still lost overall. That’s what this feels like to Virgil: he beat hotstreak but any chance at a cure for Bang Babies and Alva going to jail for causing them is gone. His mood does get a boost though as the doctor calls and reveals he’s fine, he just has a bit too much elctrolytes and just needs to lay off teh salt. He celebrates, we get a quick gag and the episode ends

Aftershock is another stellar episoe, giving us Virgil’s first super foe and a personal one at that, while showing some growth. As richie tells him he’s not virgil anymore he’s static and he can’t let his past get to him.. and he does’nt going from cowering in fear to easily beating his foe with simple logic. It’s a good followup that answers questions you may have from the first ep, like what does this do to virgil’s body, who supplied the gas, and why has no one done anything about this, and sets up another villian for Static in Alva. Great stuff. I highly recommend these episodes and the show as a whole: it’s fast paced, grounded and enjoyable, having just enough levity to not be too dour but just enough tension and stakes to be intresting. A throughly fantastic superhero show and one that i’d certainly love to revisit on this blog If you have an episode of static or the dcau in general you’d want me to cover, my comissions are open and details are on a tab on my blog or can be gotten simply by asking me via ask or dm. Tommorow we’re going deeper underground, there’s too much damage in this town as the Lena Retrospective continues. So expect gay ducks, straight ducks and some terrfirmains. See you next rainbow. 

[shirlleycoyle]

How 9/11 Became Fan Fiction Canon

Every fictional character you can think of has experienced 9/11 in fanfiction.

A Clone Wars veteran with two lightsabers is on United Airlines Flight 93 and prevents it from crashing. Ron and Hermione get caught up in the chaos as the towers fall. Buffy the Vampire Slayer and her friends watch the attacks unfold on TV from Sunnydale. We have spent 20 years trying to process what happened on 9/11 and its fallout, and that messy process can be tracked through the countless, sad, disturbing, and sometimes very funny fanfiction left across the internet.

Many of the fanfics written in the weeks and months following the 9/11 attacks seemed to directly respond to the news as it happened, processing the tragedy in real-time through the eyes of characters they loved. In the absence of a canon episode where Daria Morgendorffer paid respects to those lost, writing fanfic about these characters also experiencing trauma helped fans cope.

One YuGiOh fanfic published on fanfiction.net in May 2002 could have been ripped exactly from what this writer experienced that Tuesday morning. “It started as a normal day,” user Gijinka Renamon wrote. Yugi and his friends were in school, where their teacher informed them of the attacks and sent everyone home from school.

“After reading people’s 9/11 fics, I decided to write my own, and put a certain character in it. And Yugi and his pals were my first choice,” the author's note reads, explaining the connection they felt to United flight 93 and the World Trade Center attacks. Given that they lived in Pennsylvania, and “it’s close to New York, I felt really sad about it.”

Stitch, a fandom journalist for Teen Vogue, told Motherboard that this reaction to 9/11 is not at all uncommon in fandom.

"Fandom has always been a place that positions nothing as 'off limits,'" she said. "Historical tragedies like the Titanic sinking and atrocities like… all of World War 2 show up regularly across the past 30 years of people creating stories and art about the characters they love. So, on some level, it makes sense that 9/11 and the following 20-year military installation in the Middle East has joined the ranks of things people in different fandoms turn into settings for their fan fiction."

Reactions depicted in a handful of Buffy the Vampire Slayer fanfics published in the weeks after the attacks ring a little truer to the characters. “Tuesday, 11th September 2001,” written by Anna K, almost echoes the lyrics from “I’ve Got a Theory,” one of the songs in the musical episode that aired in November 2001. “We have seen the apocalypse. We have prevented it. Actually, we’ve prevented quite a few. So we know what they look like,” they write, before taking a darker turn. “They look a lot like…New York today.”

Killing demons and vampires doesn’t phase the Scooby Gang, but when preventable human death is brought into the picture, it’s gut wrenching.

“What am I supposed to do…When I can’t do anything to save the world?” Buffy cries  into Spike’s chest, watching the attacks unfold on TV in a fanfic the author described as being “about feeling numb and helpless.”

In “Blood Drive,” Kirayoshi writes about Buffy and her friends saving a van full of donated blood meant for victims of the attacks from a group of thirsty vampires. One Buffy the Vampire Slayer fic even takes a blindly patriotic turn, where noted lesbian witch Tara McClay helps Xander hang an American flag from the window of the magic shop to make Anya feel better.

Experiencing 9/11 as a young teenager was overwhelming not just because of the loss of life. Almost immediately after the event itself, it was as if the entirety of American culture re-oriented itself towards an overtly jingoistic stance. As we get distance from the attacks, seeing the tone of television and movies from the early 2000s is jarring, and some have gone viral on Twitter. In the world of pop music, mainstream musicians like the Chicks, formerly known as the Dixie Chicks, were blacklisted from the radio while Toby Keith sang about putting a boot up the ass of terrorists. On the Disney Channel, a young Shia Labeouf reading a poem he supposedly wrote about the events. The poem concludes with the line, "it's awesome to be an American citizen."

In a world so completely saturated with this messaging, it is not surprising that fanfic authors started including 9/11 in their work so soon after the event. Even The West Wing had a strange, out of continuity, fanfic-esque episode where the characters reacted to 9/11. In some cases, it made sense that the characters in the stories would be close to or a part of the events themselves.

"For characters like John Watson or Captain America, the idea works to an extent," Stitch told Motherboard. "In the original Sherlock Holmes works and the 2011 BBC series, Watson had just returned from Afghanistan. For Captain America and other Marvel heroes, 9/11 was something that was addressed in-universe in The Amazing Spider-Man volume 2 #36. Technically, 9/11 is 'canon' to the Marvel universe."

In “Early Warning: Terrorism,” a fanfiction for the TV show Early Edition in which a man who mysteriously receives tomorrow's newspaper, predicting the future, avoids jingoism, but tries to precent 9/11 from happening. This fanfic remains unfinished; it’s unclear if the characters successfully prevent 9/11 in this retelling.

Largely in fanfic from the era just after 9/11, when many young authors were trying to emotionally grapple with it, the characters don't re-write or undo the events themselves. It's this emphasis on the reaction to tragedy that colors the fanfiction that features 9/11 going forward.

Although fanfiction authors have been writing about 9/11 consistently since soon after the event, whenever that fanfiction reaches outside of its intended audience, it looks bizarre.

A screenshot of a Naruto 9/11 fanfic on the Tumblr subreddit comes without any context, or even more than two lines and an author's note. It’s impossible to suss out if this falls into the category of sincere fanfic without the rest of the piece or a publication date, but modern-day commenters on the Reddit thread see it as classic Tumblr trash.

Screenshot from r/Tumblr

“Bin Laden/Dick Cheney, enemies to lovers, 10k words, slow burn,” one user joked in the replies, underscoring the weirdness of Naruto being in the Twin Towers by comparing it to a What If story about Cheney and Bin Laden slowly falling deeply in love.

It’s hard to tell how much of the 9/11 fanfic and fanart starting a few years after the attacks is sincere, and how much of it is ironic, and trying to make fun of the very concept of writing fanfiction about 9/11.

A 2007 anime music video (in which various clips, usually from anime, are cut together to music) that combines scenes from The Lion King with Linkin Park’s “Crawling” and clips from George Bush’s speeches immediately after the attacks feels like the perfect example of this. Even the commenters can’t seem to suss out if this person is a troll or not.

There’s no way that My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic 9/11 fanart could be serious, right? Especially if the description pays tribute to “some of the nation's most memorable buildings,” and features five of the main characters as child versions of themselves. The comments again are split between users thanking the artist for a thoughtful remembrance post, and people making their own headcanon for why Twilight Sparkle is surreptitiously absent from the scene.

Screengrab via DeviantArt

There’s Phineas and Ferb fanfic that combines a 9/11 tribute concert with flashbacks to Ferb being rescued from the towers as a baby, written on the 10th anniversary of the attacks. It jumps from introspection to lines like, “‘Quiet Perry the Platypus. I’m trying to listen to these kids singing a 9/11 tribute.’”

The author's notes make it more likely that they meant for this to be a tribute piece, but it doesn’t quite make sense until watching a YouTube dramatic reading of it from 2020, fully embracing the absurdity of it all.

“For me, 9/11 is synonymous with war. It completely changed the course of my life," Dreadnought, the author of a Captain America fanfic Baghdad Waltz that sees Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes fall in love over the course of the war on terror, told Motherboard. "It’s the reason I joined the military, and I developed deep connections with people who would go on to deploy to Afghanistan and Iraq. These very much felt like my generation’s wars, perhaps because people I graduated high school with were the youngest folks eligible to serve at the time.”

Dreadnought told Motherboard that although they didn't deploy, their career has kept 9/11 and the trauma from it in their mind. After seeing that people who fantasize about Steve and Bucky getting together seemed particularly interested in reading fanfiction that related to 9/11, they decided to try their hand at it.

"I had to do something with all of that emotionally, and I’m admittedly a bit emotionally avoidant. So I learned through fic that it’s easier for me to process those feelings and the knowledge of all the awful stuff that can happen in war if I can turn it into something creative," Dreadnought said. "Give the feelings to fake people and then have those fake people give the feelings to readers!"

To Dreadnought, who is a queer man, the experience of researching and writing this was more cathartic than they first expected, especially as a way to navigate feelings about masculinity, military culture, and queer identity. But they said the research they did, which included watching footage of first responders at ground zero, was what helped them finally process the event itself.

"It was like a delayed horror, and it was more powerful than I expected it would be." Dreadnought said. "When I was eighteen, I was pretty emotionally divorced from 9/11; I just knew I wanted to do something about it. So coming back to it in my 30s while writing this fic, it was a very different experience. Even the research for this story ended up being an extraordinarily valuable exercise in cognitively and emotionally processing 9/11 and all of its second and third order effects."

Fanfiction that features 9/11 provides an outlet for people who still grapple with the trauma from that day. But Stitch warns that the dynamics of fandom and how it relates to politics can also create fiction that's less respectful and more grotesque.

"With years of distance between the stories written and the original events of 9/11, there seems to be some sort of cushion for fans who choose to use those events as a catalyst for relationships—and Iraq and Afghanistan for settings," Stitch said. "The cushion allows them room to fictionalize real world events that changed the shape of the world as we know it, but it also insulates them from having to think about what they may be putting into the world."

The tendency of turning these events into settings or backgrounds for mostly white, male characters to fall in love has the unintended effect of displacing the effects that the war on terror has had on the world over. Steve and Bucky might fall in love during the war on terror, but they would also be acting as a part of the American military in a war that has been criticized since it started. Fanfic writers in other fandoms have come under fire for using real world tragedy as settings for fic before. In the aftermath of the 2010 Haiti earthquake Supernatural fanfiction about the actors Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki going to the island to do aid became controversial within the fandom. There have also been fics where characters grapple with the death of George Floyd that is written in a way that displaces the event from the broader cultural context of race in America.

"A Captain America story where Steve Rogers is a 'regular' man who joins the US Army and 'fights for our freedom' post-9/11 is unlikely to deal with the war’s effect on locals who are subject to US military intervention," Stitch said. "It’s unlikely to sit with what Captain America has always meant and what a writer is doing by dropping Steve Rogers into a then-ongoing conflict in any capacity."

After enough time, “never forget” can even morph into “but what if it never happened?” A 19k+ word Star Wars alternate universe fanfic asks this question, wondering what would have unfolded if someone with two lightsabers was on United Flight 93. This fic, part of a larger fanfic series with its own Wikia, considers what would have happened if Earth was a military front in the Clone Wars.

In this version of events, a decorated general who served in the Clone Wars is able to take back control of Flight 93 before it crashes, landing safely and preventing even more tragedy from happening that day. In the end, all of the passengers who made harrowing last calls to their loved ones before perishing in a Pennsylvania field survive thanks to the power of the Force, and are awarded medals of honor by President Bush.

Twenty years after the attacks, it’s painful to think about what would have happened if people got to work 15 minutes later, or missed their trains that morning. There weren’t Jedi masters deployed to save people in real life, but for some of the fanfic writers working today, the world of Star Wars might feel just as removed as the world before September 11, 2001.

Fiction serves as a powerful playground for processing cultural events, especially generational trauma. The act isn't neutral though; a decade's worth of fanfiction that takes place on or around 9/11 shows how our own understanding of a traumatic event can shift with time.

How 9/11 Became Fan Fiction Canon syndicated from https://triviaqaweb.wordpress.com/feed/

[fly-pow-bye]

What’s Airing On Cartoon Network? (September 2021)

A pretty big month for Cartoon Network, as we get Cartoon Network’s next attempt at a preschool block: Cartoonito, starting in September 13th. This isn’t to say the slightly bigger kid’s side isn’t getting some content, as Victor & Valentino returns, and another HBO Max show makes its network debut. Details after the break.

The Fungies

September 3rd:

What About Cool James? - Seth wants some attention, but his family's too busy; when a lucky explosion forces Cool James to stay with him, Seth gets the attention he craves, until he sees how much his family loves Cool James. (8:00 AM)

Dino Club - Feeling pressured to start planning for a “real job” by his school’s career day, Seth instead modifies his body so he can be a dinosaur like Pam! Soon, all the kids follow suit. But they cause so much trouble, Fungietown bans dinosaurs! When an unknowing Pam is jailed for being a dinosaur, can Seth and the other kids crash her trial and clear her dino reputation? (8:15 AM)

Jellystone!

Another HBO Max show ends up on Cartoon Network.

September 4th:

Yogi's Tummy Troubles - Cindy accidentally turns Yogi into an unstoppable eating machine after installing a nuclear stomach in him. (9:30 AM)

Gorilla in Our Midst - When Grape Ape falls asleep in the middle of town square, it’s up to the citizens of Jellystone to move this mountain! (9:45 AM)

September 11th:

Boo Boots - Feeling unappreciated, Boo Boo gets a boost from a new pair of boots, but Yogi grows jealous of Boo Boo’s newfound popularity. (9:30 AM)

My Doggie Dave - When Doggie Daddy brings a disguised Augie to his guy’s night, she becomes the most popular member of the group. (9:45 AM)

September 18th:

A Coconut to Remember - When Magilla gets amnesia, Jabberjaw exploits him to score her dream job as assistant manager of the store. (9:30 AM)

Grocery Store - After Augie and Daddy forget a crucial ingredient while shopping, Augie embarks on a journey to retrieve those bananas. (9:45 AM)

September 25th:

Must Be Jelly - Cindy turns everyone into gelatin in order to finish her book club reading. (9:30 AM)

Cats Do Dance - After losing their alley in a dance battle, Top Cat and the gang might actually have to do some hard work to get it back. (9:45 AM)

Teen Titans Go!

September 4th:

Polly Ethylene and Tara Phthalate - When the Titans' beach day is ruined by garbage in the ocean, they learn all about recycling. (9:00 AM)

September 11th:

EEBows - Tired of getting pinched, the Titans' elbows rebel and soon bend the very fabric of time and space. (9:00 AM)

September 18th:

Batman's Birthday Gift - The Titans join Robin as he travels to deliver a birthday gift to Batman but they are detoured several times along the way. (9:00 AM)

September 25th:

What a Boy Wonders - Robin forms a book club to debut his new autobiography, but the Titans would rather discuss other books. (9:00 AM)

Tig N' Seek

This is probably incomplete.

September 3rd:

Hair Today - A mix-up at the groomers causes Tiggy to mistake a cranky, hairless cat for Gweeseek. (7:30 PM)

Who's This Guy? - This Guy is more wound up than usual and Tiggy encourages him to take a relaxing day off. Left in charge of the office, Tig and Seek learn it's harder than they thought to keep things orderly. (7:45 PM)

Total Dramarama

September 4th:

Erase Yer Head - Gwen orders a personality modifying ray to tone her perky parents but decides to test it on the class first. (10:00 AM)

September 11th:

Teacher, Soldier, Chef, Spy - When Beth, Duncan and Izzy break Chef's new VR helmet they have to recreate his game world to keep him from ever finding out the truth. (10:00 AM)

September 18th:

Thingameroo - When a lack of motivation threatens to sink the kids' chances in the Sportslete Athlaction Awards, they create the greatest mascot of all time to boost school spirit. (10:00 AM)

September 25th:

CodE.T. - When Cody gets sick, the kids want to send a message back to his home planet in hopes that they can save him, but Courtney is not in favor of this plan. (10:00 AM)

Victor and Valentino

September 4th:

Sal's Our Pal - When Victor and Valentino learn Tez has appointed himself the town leader "Huey Tlatoani" of Monte Macabre, they set out to un-seat him with the help of everyone's pal, Sal. (10:30 AM, half hour!)

September 11th:

The Fog - Victor and Valentino are fed up with Tez. He seems determined to ruin their summer in Monte Macabre. They see no other choice but to leave town for good. But will Tez let them? (10:30 AM)

September 18th:

There's No V in Team - When the children of Monte Macabre create their own underground soccer league, Victor finds an unlikely ally in Isabella. (10:30 AM)

September 25th:

Showdown at Mayahuel Garden - When Victor, Valentino, Charlene and Pineapple get separated from their grandmothers, Chata and Maria Teresa are forced to put aside their rivalry and work together to reunite with their grandchildren. (10:30 AM)

Cartoonito

Cartoonito will premiere on September 13th. There’s no full schedule for every episode that will air outside of the week of September 13th, but I can give the schedule:

Weekdays:

6:00 AM-7:00 AM - Baby Looney Tunes

7:00 AM-7:50 AM - Caillou

7:50 AM-9:00 AM - Pocoyo

9:00 AM-10:00 AM - Thomas & Friends: All Engines Go!

10:00 AM-11:00 AM - Bing

11:00 AM-12:00 PM - Pocoyo (rerun of the 7:50 AM episode)

12:00 PM-1:00 PM - Caillou (rerun of the 7:00 AM episode)

1:00 PM-2:00 PM - Mush-Mush and the Mushables

Saturdays

6:00 AM-7:00 AM - Baby Looney Tunes

7:00 AM-7:30 AM - Lucas The Spider

7:30 AM-8:00 AM - Esme & Roy

Sundays

6:00 AM-7:00 AM - Baby Looney Tunes

7:00 AM-7:30 AM - Love Monster

7:30 AM-8:00 AM - Care Bears: Unlock The Magic

[shezowhero]

Static and Frieda shipping moments.

Y’know I wish more people read Static’s comics, not necessarily cause they’re good but for more people to shipping Static and Frieda together. The comics are still good and people should read them. Besides reading them online and buy them off Amazon it is a bit hard finding his comics.

 So here are shippy moments between Static and Frieda from the comics and the cartoon. I’ve already shared some of them in my Why Static and Frieda make a good couple post but they’re were some shipping moments I felt out. The best shippy moments are in the beginning and towards the end of his series and later in Teen Titans and Milestone Forever and in beginning of the cartoon. Spoilers from the comics.

The first shipping moment is when Frieda first means Static in the first issue.

Static had just saved her from Hotstreak’s gang. Virgil is taking the opportunity of Frieda not knowing his identity to flirt with her. You don’t introduce a girl like this and she not be the endgame love interest. Even though Virgil has alot of love interests I think they make it clear that he’s going to end up with Frieda.

The next shipping moment is from the same issues.

This is right after Static saved Frieda. More flirting. These are some of the first panels I saw from Static’s comics before I read them. I already shipped them from the cartoon but these panels made me shipped them more. Virgil and Frieda have alot of chemistry in these panels like they just ooze chemistry. 

This is from issue 10, we also get a art change. I don’t know if you want to count this as a shippy moment but I thought it was cool seeing Virgil flying Frieda around. Up until this point he hadn’t done that with anyone.  

Skipping ahead to issue 33 to keep this post from getting too long. In this issue and issue 32 Static is dealing with a new villain named the Swarm. We learn that Virgil doesn’t kill bugs he takes them outside and sings born free and Frieda loves that about Virgil.

Swarm is watching them outside the window. The Swarm thinks Virgil and Frieda are a couple and that makes Static powerful and being with him will make her powerful. Keep in mind that Virgil is actually still dating Daisy during this time but the Swarm see the way Virgil and Frieda look at each other. This is apart of what I mean that they make it pretty clear that Virgil and Frieda will end up together even though he’s with other girls.

This is suppose to be serious but I find it hilarious that Swarm calls Virgil her man. Like, girl you are a bug.

The Swarm even tried to look like Frieda to get him to be with her.

Frieda also wore Static’s costume. She wore on the cover of issue 33 and in the same issue. This is like your girlfriend wearing your clothes. She didn’t have to wear it but she did. All she had to do was bring Virgil his costume. I think the writes wanted her to wear it to hint at her eating disorder while she was taking it off.

Next issue 43. I don’t want to spoiler too much about Frieda’s eating disorder cause the build up to it was well done but this is during her recovery. A villain who can steal powers took over her body. The villain even took Brickhouse’s powers, this is probably the first and only time we see Brickhouse human form. This is right after Frieda get’s her body back from the villain. She’s still not feeling good from her eating disorder and having her body taken over. Static tells her she’s the strongest people he knows. It’s a very tender moment.

Next shippy moment is when Static made a electric heart around Frieda in the first episode of the cartoon. This is when I first started shipping them as a kid.

The next shippy moment is in Teen Titans issue 82. Static had disappeared for a bit cause he got kidnapped by the Terror Titans to fight in the Darkseid fight club and then he joined the Teen Titans. He didn’t call his family or friends that he was okay so Frieda was mad at him when he came to Dakota when the virus broke out. This was Static’s arc when he was with the Teen Titans and this is at the end of his arc when he’s saying bye to Frieda to go back with the Teen Titans. These are also some of the first panels I saw from Static’s comics before I read them. Like I said I already shipped from the cartoon but these panels and the panels from Static’s first issue made me ship them harder. Maybe it’s me but it feels like they were going to kiss here but it got cut.

The final shippy moment from Milestone Forever issue 2. Milestone Forever was meant to be the ending to the Milestone universe cause it shut down before they could end it in the 90s. Which is why I consider Static and Frieda to be endgame. In Milestone Forever we’re shown Static’s future and he’s married to Frieda with 2 kids, Larry and Sadie. This is the first time they’re canon.

There are a few more shippy moments between Static and Frieda like in issue 8 of Static’s New 52 series but I didn’t want to make this post too long. I started making this post before the final reboot announcement from DC Fandome and before the movie announcement. I hope the reboot and Static’s movie remembers Static and Frieda relationship and makes them canon again. Virgil’s relationship with Frieda is a very important part of his character.

 I know they’re a slow burn type relationships and that Virgil has detour love interests that he gets with before Frieda but I want them to be canon a bit sooner and not have to wait a very long time for them to be canon like before. And also keep them being a interracial couple cause it’s a important aspect of their relationship and interracial relationships with black people still need representation in media.

[danguy96]

Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens Rewrite - Story Outline

Since a lot of you liked the set-up I had in mind for a “redo” of the sequel trilogy, I was thinking of finally laying the basic, rough outline of the first “movie”.

I decided to make this its own post, because it turned out to be pretty long, and would likely take up a lot of space in messaging on either Tumblr or Discord.

As I said before, the universe this takes place in is a mash-up of both old and new canon stuff, with some events happening different than others.

I hope you all like it, and if there’s any questions about this planned story, feel free to ask me them, because there’s a lot I have in mind beyond this.

Also, it’s best if you read the original set-up post I created, since it covers a lot of background surrounding the setting of this story. You can find it here.

With all that out of the way, let’s begin, and start off with a familiar phrase:

We start off our story with a small spaceship landing on a mysterious planet, in front of what appears to be an ancient Jedi Temple.

A hooded figure emerges from the ship, and soon is accompanied by another hooded figure, with this one being female.The male figure says “I apologize if I’m late. I came as soon as I heard”, and asks where the others are. The female figure says that the “Master” has already given his instructions to them, and that they are the only two left to receive the orders from the one who summoned them.

We cut to another hidden figure, meditating and chanting in a long-forgotten tongue. We do not clearly see who this chanting figure may be at first, but I think savvy audiences could guess correctly. Anyway, we see this hidden figure continue meditating, until we cut to his point of view. We see that in the middle of meditation, he is suddenly met with visions.

We see familiar locations, such as the desert world of Tatooine, the volcanic planet Mustafar and a large fortress which towers above everything on the planet, and a mysterious, snow-covered forest, where another figure lights a red cross guard lightsaber. We also see visions focusing on a single Stormtrooper out of all the rest, and visions of young scavenger/mechanic.We then see a dark aura consuming all in its wake, as what sounds like a horrifying voice of legion cackles horrifically.The mysterious man suddenly breaks out of his meditation with a start, and looks around as he breathes heavily.The man turns around, and his apprentices ask him what is the matter.

The old master calms down, and says that he senses a great disturbance is rising within the Force, as his visions become worse and worse with time.The two figures ask if there is anything they can do to stop whatever new dark force is threatening the Galaxy.The old master says there is one chance. He says he has seen figures in his visions. While one of them he cannot reach, the others must be found immediately.The old master says that the two must go in his stead, along with other Jedi Knights he has already sent out into the galaxy, as he senses whatever dark force is out there wishes to see him come out of seclusion.The two pupils bid their master farewell, leaving the master alone with his thoughts about this new threat to the Galaxy.

Of course, the old master is revealed to be Luke Skywalker, now a full-fledged Jedi Master, and currently one of the most powerful wielders of the Force in the galaxy, if not the most. And the two apprentices he spoke to him are his niece and nephew, Jacen and Jaina Solo.

We cut to Poe Dameron receiving vital information, only this time it’s not a map to Luke Skywalker, but info which reveals the connection between those within the Coalition and the First Order, and plans of attack with their new battle station, the Starkiller Base, and the planet he’s currently on isn’t Jakku, but Tatooine itself.

In this version, the Stormtroopers are being led by two members of the Knights of Ren; Kylo Ren, of course, and his rival/teammate, Zayla Ren (and yes, it’s revealed a bit later that Zayla is actually a woman early on, and her personality was inspired by Azula’s from Avatar, only Kylo and her aren’t related).

We go through the song and dance of the Rens and the troopers laying waste to the place, but in this version, Kylo, while appearing threatening, is a bit more reserved than how he was in the OG film, with Zayla being the one to kill San Tekka, and giving the order to shoot any villagers who do not wish to cooperate.

Also, Zayla’s lightsaber would be two-headed, like in that Teen Titans episode where they went into the TV world:

Poe is tortured out of the info by Zayla and Kylo, but as Kylo makes his way out, Zayla tells him that he “hesitated” and she sensed weakness in him. Kylo says that he only took what information was “necessary”, but she reminds him that their master does not accept hesitation or weakness, no matter what. Kylo continues walking down the hallway, but Zayla just continues as he goes, saying that at the rate he’s “improving”, it would “just be awful” if their master soon announced that the Knights of Ren were to have a new leader, chuckling to herself as Kylo resists the urge to practice his Force powers on her.

Anyway, Poe’s droid, BB-8 encounters Rey, much like in the film, but here it’s established that not only is Rey a scavenger, but she’s also a mechanic of sorts, and, as seen in the details of room containing bits of memorabilia from the days of the Rebellion, giving a sort of meta thing of her a fan of the tales and legends of the Rebellion and the Jedi, but she doesn’t have the money to ever leave Tatooine and go on her own adventures. Also, it’s explained that she didn’t know what the Millennium Falcon looked like, due to her hearing it looked much differently than it actually does, as sort of another meta joke about how the Falcon was supposed to look differently in the original draft. And her lineage does get explained, but both sides of her family are explained better, and she struggles with one of them in not just the last part of the story.

We then have a disillusioned Finn free Poe, and they’re shot down, but this time, instead of implying Poe is dead or actually having Poe die, both Poe and Finn make it out, and both travel across one of the many deserts of Tatooine until they find Rey and BB-8. The newly established gang of Finn, Rey, Poe, and BB-8 make off in the Millennium Falcon, but this time Poe is the main pilot, while Rey is the co-pilot, and Finn puts his marksman skills to use by manning one of the Falcon’s gunners.

We then get the reintroduction of Han Solo and Chewbacca, which is somewhat similar to the actual movie, but with a few tweaks, such as them always being a part of the Resistance. It’s also established that Han and Chewie were already trying to get the Falcon back as part of another misadventure which is practically begging to be told in a hypothetical cartoon or comic, and that they’re not washed-up, and Han isn’t separated from Leia. Han still wants his ship back, and is skeptical about the ex-Stormtrooper and the mysterious girl Poe has in toe with him, but he still ends up taking them on board with him, since Poe still has the documents within BB-8.

And don’t worry. Things start to depart from a lot of TFA’s story soon, given how the New Republic is still standing by the end, and we still have a senator and Chancellor to introduce.

As for the Resistance, in this version, they’re more of a smaller ragtag army fighting the First Order, but they need further help from the Republic, which they’ve tried to get for some time. The Starkiller plans and the data which confirms that the FO is receiving funding from those within the Coalition/Confederacy could be what helps them finally win over the Republic to provide military aid. This is continuing with the proxy war/cold war thing going on.

As our heroes make their way to the rendezvous planet where they’ll meet up with Leia and the other freedom fighters, we cut to the capitol city of the Coalition/Confederacy (I’m going to being calling it the Confederacy and the UGC interchangeably), where we’re introduced to First Chairman Krazvlin (it’s a work-in-progress name, but I wanted something which sounded vaguely Russian, and also villainous).

This scene is mostly based off the scene where we’re introduced to the emperor in the original drafts for “The Star Wars”, though here the Chairman’s speech is to celebrate the anniversary of the unification of the new Confederacy, and how their hard won “peace” will not be deterred by any “terrorist” scum.

After finishing his speech, the Chairman and his generals make their way to another, more private meeting with members of the First Order, to discuss the negotiations of the technological behemoth known as the Starkiller, discussing if it will truly be the deterrent the UGC needs to secure superiority against the Republic.

Among this meeting are General Hux, who used to work for the UGC, but is now the leading military officer of the First Order, and Grand Admiral Prydus, commander of the UGC’s main starship fleet, and a veteran of the old Galactic Empire (you can see I took the character of Pryde from Rise of Skywalker, and made him into something more than just a last minute addition, and I imagine him looking different from Pryde as well, with Jason Isaacs being my headcanon choice as to who would play him). 

Prydus questions why Hux, who seemed like such a promising general for the Confederacy, would lend his support to “a bunch of Sith fanatics”, to which a smooth, yet sickening voice answers back “You’d best watch your tongue, Admiral. You’re lucky the Chairman finds you to be still of use, even after your glory days”, and from the shadows step out the two Knights of Ren, Kylo and Zayla.

After the Rens make themselves known, much to Prydus’ exasperation, Hux answers that he lent his services to the First Order not due to admiration of any “religious cult”, but to prove himself as being the commander of his own military force. A military which he says would be “nothing” without his leadership, while Prydus claims that Hux is merely “standing on the shoulders” of those of the former Empire. Krazvlin silences both of them, and says that they still have the matter of the info on their plans and alliance with the FO are still with the rebels/resistance.

Hux and Prydus reluctantly simmer down, though Prydus still questions why the First Order always sends in their middle men, while their true leader keeps himself in secret, not even willing to share a hologram of himself with the Confederacy. Prydus says that he’s tired of all the secrecy surrounding the First Order and their leader, demanding to know his identity. Kylo interjects, saying that his master wishes to remain hidden, until his plans have come to full fruition. Prydus asks just when will these plans finally come to fruition, so that the UGC can finally get back to handling it’s own matters. Kylo answers back once again that his master doesn’t have the time to deal with such useless questions, and that his wisdom is spent on better things. Prydus says that if the Rens’ master was as wise as they say he is, he would have the guts to show himself, and not hide like a coward behind children playing dressup. But as he goes on, he suddenly stops, finding it hard to breathe. We see Kylo is the one Force-choking Prydus, but Zayla turns to Kylo and says “Kylo, I said he was currently still useful to us”, and Kylo releases Prydus.

Krazvlin, going on as if that didn’t even happen, continues on by saying that it is imperative that the BB-8 droid unit not reach boundaries of Republic territory. He asks Hux if he has any whereabouts of the rebels who took the documents, and if he knows where they’re headed. Hux says that the last his troops saw them, they had just left Tatooine on a Corellian freighter, and are now suspected to be in neutral space. Chairman Krazvlin says to alert any troops and spies patrolling that sector to look out for them, as the future of the stability of the UGC and it’s relationship with the Republic relies on those documents being found.

We cut to our trio of Finn, Poe, and Rey, who are currently on board the Millennium Falcon with Han Solo and Chewbacca (yeah, a lot of the New Jedi Order stories either haven’t happened, or happened drastically differently, so no Yuuzhan Vong just yet). The gang is currently flying through neutral space, and each member of the gang has different interactions between themselves and Han. Rey, being something of Rebel fangirl, asks him a bunch of questions of what was it like with the Rebellion, many of which Han either gives brief answers to, or doesn’t answer (I was thinking we could even throw in some dialogue which confirms the Thrawn trilogy did happen in this universe, at least to some extent). Poe is honored to be in the presence a hero of the Rebellion, and the man who fought alongside his parents. Finn, though, is a bit more apprehensive, considering he’s worried Han may suspect him of being a double agent for the First Order, but Han, despite his misgivings, says that Finn “isn’t the first Stormtrooper to defect”, and he won’t be the last (which is not only a shout-out to his original EU backstory of working for the Empire for some time, but also one to Kyle Katarn, and foreshadowing of later events in this saga).

Also, instead of having the run-in with the gang Han pissed off being just a thing in this movie, I was thinking it could be something that carries over across the trilogy, much like Jabba’s subplot.

Anyway, after Han exposits about how he lost his ship after a spat he had with a crimelord who holds a massive grudge against him for “ruining his business” after working with the New Republic to help bootstrap trade with smugglers, and how Luke has been in isolation to keep himself from being discovered ever since a certain incident Han doesn’t like to talk about, they arrive at Takodana, where they’ll lay low until a group of Resistance members meet up with them, along with some Republic help.

They land on Takodana, and meet up with cantina owner, and secretly a leading member of the Resistance, Maz Kanta. She offers to help hide Han and co. until the Resistance/Republic arrives to pick them up.

Later that night, in the secret quarters where Maz offers the gang to rest before the Republic forces arrive tomorrow morning, Rey is stirred awake by a strange sensation, and is drawn by a strange voice to a secluded vault, where she finds an old lightsaber. She tries to pick it up, but the moment she holds it, she’s visited by strange visions. Some of them visions of her past, and how she was supposedly abandoned as a baby on Tatooine. She soon finds herself standing in the middle of a snow-covered forest, where she see a man whose face is hidden beneath a hood reach out to her, with the calm voice of another man calling out to her (the voice of the second man sounding oddly like Ewan McGregor). However, as she moves to approach the man and the voices, she’s grabbed by the leg by something. She turns around, and what’s grabbing her seem to be this formless mass of darkness, trying to suck her in. Rey tries to run, but the man in the hood seems to keep getting farther and farther away, and soon she’s forcefully dragged into the darkness, as a hideous voice cackles loudly (a voice which strangely sounds like Ian McDiarmid). Rey suddenly snaps back to reality, and looks around, alone and afraid. 

We cut to the First Order’s secret weapon and one of their bases of operations, the Starkiller Base, where General Hux is informing the Chairman via hologram that one of their spies has told them that they have seen the BB-8 droid in a cantina on Takodana, and that they will retrieve it before the Resistance/Republic makes it there. Chairman Krazvlin says that for Hux’s sake, he better deliver it them, and ends the call. Hux, visibly frustrated, calls Captain Phasma to handle the mission, and bring the droid to them. She says that it would be her pleasure, and that she also requests permission to go after the traitorous Stormtrooper who let Poe escape. He grants her permission, and sends her on her way.

Meanwhile, Kylo Ren is busy practicing his Force powers and his lightsaber technique, when Zayla storms in and tells him that he can train later, because their master is calling them right now. Ignoring Zayla’s jabs of telling him not to “dawdle”, Kylo goes off with Zayla, to meet their master, and the true power behind the First Order: Supreme Leader Snoke.

When they make it to the room where they contact Snoke, we first see his form through a psychic link which Zayla and Kylo project, using their Force powers (this is sort of taking that whole Force Projection and Force psychic link we see in TLJ, and actually doing it beforehand by more powerful Force users). Snoke says that he has felt yet another Great Awakening in the Force. This one slower than the one after the fall of Darth Sidious, but still a source of rich, yet untrained power. Snoke orders the Rens to travel to Takodana along with Phasma, and retrieve the ones who have been awakened by the power of the Force, to prevent them from becoming Jedi. The Rens accept the order from their master, but before they head out, Snoke says that he can sense that there is still much both must learn, such as Kylo is still “holding back”, and how he senses “much fear” and “insecurity” deep within Zayla (that bit was inspired by a scene from the Genndy Clone Wars series where Dooku says that Ventress has too much fear to be Sith). Snoke finishes by saying that in order to truly awaken their full power, and become true successors to the Sith, they must negate all feelings of fear, and strike without mercy. Only then will they be able achieve their true potential.

We cut back to Maz’s place on Takodana, just as morning starts to break. Finn asks about where Rey is, as he hasn’t seen her all morning. Maz and Han say she’s been pacing outside all morning, and it seems like she doesn’t wants to talk. Finn, however, decides to go and see if he can comfort her. Finn finds Rey staring out into the distance, staring at the rising sun. He asks Rey how she’s doing, but she turns around fast, revealing bags under her eyes, and a worried expression on her face. After calming down, she reveals not only about what happened last night when she found the lightsaber, but also her past on how she was abandoned on Tatooine as a baby and her feelings about her she’s always felt like a nobody, and how she took comfort in hearing the tales and legends of the Jedi, the Old Republic, and the Rebel Alliance, wishing she could be a part of a grand adventure like that. However, now that she is on such an adventure, she’s starting to see it’s not as fun as she thought it would be, and even something inside of her is saying she’s getting in too deep. Finn comforts Rey, saying how he understands what it’s like to not have any other family to confide in, but says that if things do get ugly, he’ll be there to help her out.This helps Rey calm down just a bit, but she still says that she would like to go out and take a walk in the woods. Finn understands, but he says that she should at least take his blaster with her, just in case. She thanks Finn, and goes on her way. 

Rey goes out into the woods to clear her mind, while Finn goes back inside. Han, Maz, and Poe ask if Rey is alright. Finn says that he hopes so, but then he mentions how Rey has been out of it ever since she grabbed that lightsaber, which causes Maz to look up in surprise and worry. Han asks what she’s worried about, and she and the others go the room where the lightsaber is, seeing that its case has been opened. Finn goes up to inspect the lightsaber, feeling almost drawn to it, but when he touches it, he gets visions of his own. Visions of a baby being taken away from his father, and visions of the future featuring a growing army of sinister Stormtrooper-like droids with glowing, red eyes.Finn comes to, and is asked what’s wrong. Something in him tells him that they need to go and find Rey, now.

In the forest, Rey is feeling a bit better, and all seems quiet in the woods. Too quiet. Just then, she hears a roaring sound in the sky. The sound of spaceships. She looks up and sees First Order ships heading towards where the rest of the gang are, and runs back in an effort to help them escape. Unbeknownst to her, a figure in a dark cloak and mask follows her.

We see Zayla Ren and Captain Phasma leading a group of Stormtroopers to search and storm the area for the droid, the traitor, and the members of Resistance and Republic armies. Meanwhile, the rest of the gang is hiding away, forming a plan of attack that’ll buy them some time before the Republic’s ships show up. Finn volunteers to go after Rey, but Han objects, saying it’s better if they stayed together as a group. However, Maz says that if Finn feels that Rey might be in danger, it’s for the best that he goes after her. She gives Finn the lightsaber, saying that he must keep it safe, and that he must trust in his instincts to find Rey. With their plan formed, Han, Chewie, and Maz and her forces stay behind to hold the front line of the cantina, while Finn and Poe go off to find Rey.

While on their way, they end up encountering a few Stormtroopers, including Captain Phasma and good ol’ TR-8R. Finn holds back the Stormtroopers with the lightsaber, as they fight in armed combat, with a few troopers using the weapon TR-8R used, while a few have gained a new upgrade, inspired by the original drafts of the first Star Wars; lightsaber-esque swords.

Finn fights surprisingly well, but soon they seem to be outnumbered. But just when it seems like Poe is about to be struck down, an unseen presence suddenly drags half a dozen trooper in the air, and tosses them like ragdolls. Finn, Poe, and Phasma look to see the source of this, and we see a cloaked figure, brandishing a green lightsaber. A Jedi Knight. One of the two Jedi Knights we saw in the opening. The Jedi removes his hood and cloak to reveal a young man with brown hair. Jacen Solo. One of the Solo Twins.

Phasma at first orders her men to attack, but Zayla intervenes, saying that it’s best if Phasma goes off to handle finding the droid. The Jedi is her priority now. Much to Phasma’s chagrin, she follows orders, and leaves Jacen to Zayla. We then get the first half of our first lightsaber duel of this new story.

We cut to back in the woods with Rey, who’s been trying to make it back to the others, but she feels like someone is following her. Sure enough, her suspicions are correct, when she suddenly comes face to face with Kylo Ren. She backs off fast and pulls out the blaster Finn gave her, pointing it at an unfazed Kylo Ren. She trembles as holds it, threatening that she will use it on him. Again, Kylo remains silent and comes towards her. Rey, in a panic, wildly shoots at Kylo, but he merely deflects each blast with a wave of his hand. Kylo approaches her closer and closer, until another Jedi jumps in Kylo’s way, brandishing a purple lightsaber. The Jedi removes her hood to reveal Jaina Solo, the other Solo Twin.

And so begins our other lightsaber fight, which is going on simultaneously as the Zayla vs Jacen fight.

We cut back to the fight over on at the cantina, where it’s become a mini war-zone. Jacen is continuing his fight with Zayla, while Han and Chewie are defending BB-8. Meanwhile, Poe and Finn are fighting their way towards the woods where Rey is. On their way, they’re attacked by flying fighter droids (sort of like speeder bike-sized versions of those vulture droid fighters, only with a new design to fit with the First Order), and run into the forest for protection. As the droids prepare to attack our heroes, Finn puts his hands in front of him to shield himself, but suddenly the droids are Force-pushed back, and crash into the trees. Finn doesn’t know what he just did, and Poe just stands there with his mouth agape.

We cut to Han and Chewie and Maz, who’ve been holding out as long as they can. However, the tide suddenly turns when an X-Wing blasts a group of troopers and fighter-probes. Yes, backup from the Republic has finally arrived, with a few of their starships now hovering overhead, and some carriers starting to land. Zayla manages to match Jacen in skill in their lightsaber duel, but she is reluctantly forced to retreat, saying that Jacen is “lucky” this time, before distracting him and taking off.

We cut over to Kylo, still fighting with Jaina, and while they both seem to be evenly matched, Jaina has been mostly defending herself without intention of doing harm, as she can sense who it is underneath the mask. Kylo Ren demands to know why Jaina is holding back. He says “Is it because of guilt or pity? If so, then you are wasting your time.” Kylo manages to knock Jaina back, and says that she can’t change anything. He continues with saying that it is only through this path that he can truly achieve the power to bring order, and gain the power which the Jedi foolishly fear. Kylo goes on about how it’s too late for him, and that Jaina should just give up trying, but before he can do anything, he receives a message from Zayla to stop fooling around and leave with one of the force-sensitive users already. Kylo stops, and uses his Force powers to distract Jaina, and then Force Jump away from the fight, going after Rey. Rey, meanwhile, thinks she’s gotten far away enough, but is exhausted from her lack of sleep and running for so long. She stops to rest, but then Kylo Ren appears behind her, and he uses his Force powers to put her already exhausted self to sleep. He then takes on board his ship, just as Jaina catches up to him. 

Finn and Poe manage to spot Kylo’s ship, just as it takes off with him and Rey in it. They come across Jaina, and, both being worn out, ask if she could possibly explain what’s going on. She says she’ll explain on the way back, but then she notices the lightsaber Finn has, and asks where he got that from.

Back at the cantina, Republic forces have arrived, here to pick up Han Solo and the rest of the gang in order to bring them to the Republic capitol in order to blow the whistle on the First Order and the Confederacy. Among them are a few familiar faces, including R2-D2 and C-3PO, and, most importantly for Han Solo, Senator Leia Organa, his wife.

There’s a heartfelt reunion between husband and wife, along with Artoo and Threepio, with others soon joining them, as Jacen finally reunites with his mother and father, and Jaina soon makes the reunion complete as she arrives back with Poe and Finn. This family reunion however soon takes a darker turn, as Jaina brings up the news that she saw Kylo Ren, and faced off with him, which worries Han and Leia. It’s then revealed to Finn and Poe that Kylo Ren is actually the son of Luke Skywalker, and also that Finn has been carrying the lightsaber of Anakin Skywalker, the man who became Darth Vader.

Maz later explains to them how she was able to come across the lightsaber. It was thought to have been lost in Cloud City after Luke’s battle with Vader, but Maz says that some Cloud City personnel was able to find it. Not knowing the Jedi were to be reborn in a couple of years, the staff member sold it off for credits. Luckily, Lando and Maz were able to track it down, and managed to buy it back. They knew Luke wouldn’t want it back, so Han, Leia, and the rest decided that after fixing it up, it would be a gift to Luke’s son after he completed his Padawan training. Needless to say, those were the best laid plans of womp rats and men (I know this seems a bit much, but I wanted to fill in that hole where Luke’s lightsaber came back, and I wanted to give it some weight and meaning as to why it was brought back, besides nostalgia).

After Jaina explains that Rey has been kidnapped by the First Order and we learn of Kylo Ren’s identity, we cut to the Starkiller Base, where Phasma is being berated by General Hux for letting the droid fall into the hands of the New Republic. She assures him that she will not fail in the future, with Hux responding that she had better be sure of that, reminding her that she can be considered expendable if the time arises. Phasma walks off in a huff, and crosses paths with Zayla, who says that she doesn’t see any reason to be so upset, saying that she could be “lucky” and end up being shipped off to work in mines of Kessel, which Zayla hears are “simply lovely” this time of year. Phasma tells Zayla to mind her own business, and asks why Zayla isn’t as upset about their plans being found out.  Zayla says that while the UGC lost what they needed, she says that they managed to succeed in finding what’ll eventually be worth more than this hulking mass they call a battlestation. Zayla continues her little verbal spat with Phasma, saying that as they speak, Kylo Ren is interrogating their new “guest”, probing her mind before seeing what other uses she can be of for them. “Soon we shall have the precious data your troops failed to retrieve, and so much more”, Zayla says, and then she casually walks off, leaving Phasma to stew in her anger and resentment.

We cut to Rey, strapped to an interrogation chair. The beginning of the scene starts relatively similar to how it did in the movie, with Rey asking where her friends are. Kylo replies that she will be relieved that he has no idea, and asks if she still wishes to kill him and if she still fears him. Rey replies that it’s a natural reaction when you’re being hunted by a “creature in a mask”. After a moment of silence, Kylo removes his helmet, to finally reveal the face of Rey’s captor. We now see Kylo Ren’s true face, a young man with dark hair, and greenish-blue eyes, but also with a solemn look on his face, and a scar across one side of said face.

We go on with the scene playing a little bit like it did in the film, with Kylo asking about the droid, and Rey hesitating to give the full answers, and Kylo knowing what information the droid has, but there’s a twist in this, with Kylo saying that it’s not just that information he’s after. He also senses something within in Rey. Something his master is after. He probes Rey’s mind, sensing the fear, uncertainty, and apprehension within her. How she feels like she shouldn’t even be here. He assures her that her she is meant to be here, and tells Rey that things such as fear and hesitation makes one weak. He continues to search Rey’s mind, trying to go deeper. Yet, Rey tries to resist, making it difficult. Kylo demands that she stop resisting, but Rey keeps going on.

Both try their hardest, but then something happens. As Kylo stops trying to hold himself back into Rey’s mind, and as Rey, being surprised at how she’s even resisting him, pushes back, the two are suddenly mentally transported to this realm of utter darkness, where Kylo not only hears and even sees some events from Rey’s life, but Rey hears and sees some events from Kylo’s past, but some seem to be blurred. She hears a young boy crying out for his mother, and hears a sinister voice saying how someone will learn how to how harness the true power of the Dark Side, and suffering shall be his master, before there’s a flash of what appears to be lighting and a scream. Just then, both Rey and Kylo Ren come back to reality. Both are in shock, but Kylo Ren angrily brushes it aside, and orders a Stormtrooper to take Rey to her cell.

After the interrogation scene, we cut to the Republic/Resistance forces touching base on what’s going on, and giving us some exposition about what Jedi Council has been doing, and I was also thinking this would be a good time to give some exposition as to how Anakin Solo (Han and Leia’s other son from the old EU) disappeared and was presumed dead, and why that was one reason Ben/Kylo turned to the Dark Side. They also hint that “something else” also sent Kylo over the edge, but they don’t have time to explain, as they prepare to land on the new capitol planet of the New Republic, Hosnian Prime.

When our heroes land on Hosnian Prime, they are greeted by officials of the New Republic, here to congratulate Poe, Leia, Han, and the rest for safely retrieving the information they need on the existence of the Starkiller Base and the alliance between the First Order and the Confederacy. One of these officials is the Margaret Thatcher-esque, supposed ally to our heroes (and someone who most certainly isn’t secretly a traitor); Senator Holdeena (guess which character she’s based off of). She says that their valiant efforts are greatly appreciated, and that now all they need to do is convince the Senate and the Chancellor to take action. Finn and Jaina inform the Senator that they hope the Senate will take action soon, for a friend of theirs has been captured by the First Order.

We cut to everyone’s “favorite” part of Star Wars; a bunch of guys talking about politics in the Senate. Though, in this case, it’s a bit more interesting than trade routes.

The Senate discusses about whether or not to officially give full aid to the Resistance, and if a rescue mission is worth the tensions of spiraling into further conflict with the Confederacy and the First Order. Some representatives accuse Leia and Holdeena of warmongering, with the first vocal ones about it being reps from the Chiss (the race of which Grand Admiral Thrawn is a part of, mostly due to Thrawn being considered one of the founding fathers of what became the UGC). Leia argues that while the possibility of a war may occur, she says that the First Order has been carrying out numerous attacks for years, and, if these new documents are to be believed, all with the support and financial aid of the UGC/Confederacy. Leia says that she wishes to avoid full-out war with the UGC as much as possible, but requests that at least she and the Resistance members be given aid with a star fleet to help disable the weapon firing capabilities of the Starkiller Base, as well as be given clearance to stage a rescue mission. While still a risk, the deciding vote goes down to Chancellor Jorgeus Kartemur, who allows for a rescue mission, as well as an attack, but he grants them only a limited number of Republic fighters and carriers.

We cut back to Starkiller Base, where Kylo Ren is having an “emergency meeting” with Snoke, discussing how he was trying to probe Rey’s mind, but she was able to resist him, and then they inadvertently made a mental link with each other. Snoke says that it seems that this new “child of the Force” is strong. Very strong. Snoke then instructs Kylo to keep his guard up around her, and that she must not fall into the hands of the Jedi, especially those members of the Skywalker Clan. Kylo says he he will make sure Rey and other “children of the Force” will either join them or die, and ends his conversation with his master.

Kylo Ren goes off to be by himself in his room. There we get a scene reminiscent to the one from the actual movie, where he is talking to himself while staring at the broken mask of Darth Vader, only now he’s also discussing about he can’t go back to the Light. Not after what he’s already done, and he says that the Light Side cannot grant him the power he seeks. The power to undo the misery he’s endured. Kylo swears he will achieve that power, and “finish what [Darth Vader] started” (however, the more we get to know about Kylo/Ben’s backstory in this, it puts this scene into a whole new and different context).

We cut to the Republic-Resistance Alliance, going over the plans for a small group to secretly land on Starkiller Base, while a team of fighters, lead by Poe, will make their way to the main weapon reactor. Like in the film, comparisons are made to the Death Star, but here they really push this being even stronger than the Death Star, saying that the plans for it need to be examined even further before figuring out how to destroy it completely. It’s decided that those going on the rescue mission will be Han, Chewie, Finn, and the Solo Twins, along with a few red shirts. Han and the twins say goodbye to Leia, who is still worried about Ben/Kylo. They reassure her that they’ll be okay, and Jaina tells her she sensed the conflict within Ben. Finn wishes Poe good luck on his mission, and Poe says he would like to thank Finn for saving him. Finn, in turn, says thanks for believing and trusting in him, and they both head off to begin their respective tasks. After those little character-driven moments, we see the cruisers and ships take off for the Starkiller Base (oh, and in this version, they’re launching from Hosnian Prime, and not D'Qar).

We cut back to Rey, and we see that she’s mostly been sitting in her cell, with a Stormtrooper patrolling it, while occasionally going off to do something else (making the rounds, I guess?). However, Rey has been currently been trying to get out of her cell while the guard is away from the door, and has been using a device she helped fix back on Tatooine to see if she can open the door (I think Ezra from Star Wars Rebels used something like that one time, though I think this would be a bit different, considering she’s on the inside of the cell). However, the trooper comes back and almost catches her, berating her for trying to escape. He gives Rey her scheduled prison meal, and continues to mock her, taking away the device she had. Rey in a fit of frustration yells at at him to just leave her alone. Much to her surprise, the trooper says back in a monotone voice “I will leave you alone”. Rey, confused, remembers the stories of Jedi Mind Tricks, and, to test it out again, she tells the trooper that he will give her device, which he does. She then she uses it to tell him to leave the prison bay, and unlock the doors for her so that she may leave, and to leave his weapon. The trooper does all of this, and Rey manages to unlock the door, and then escape with the trooper’s blaster (I know this seems as asspull-ish as the original movie, but it’s leading to something).

We cut to the command center of the Base, where Hux is in a meeting with Prydus and Krazvlin, being informed how the Republic now knows of their secret location and their alliance, and could launch an attack any moment. Prydus says that if that superweapon of theirs is supposedly stronger the Death Star, why haven’t they used it to alienate the Resistance in one fell swoop? Hux says that it’s increase in power also means an increase in charging time, and that it requires a large amount of energy. Prydus says that whether it’s ready or not is irrelevant. If they can at least use at least fraction of its power against the Republic, use it while they still have the chance. Hux says he will see what he can do, but before he ends his conversation, Krazvlin tells him that if this really is more powerful than the Death Star, like Hux says it is, then that better mean that that battlestation is strong enough to avoid going down in a ball of flame.“This Confederacy has paid well over a thousand kings’ ransoms to fund this project. For the sake of your career, General, you best hope that it is worth the price.” says Krazvlin. Hux says he understands, and the meeting ends. Hux then orders his men to prepare the fleet of First Order and Confederacy ships for the arrival of any Republic dreadnoughts and Resistance fighters. Hux then says to himself that he’ll show them it’s “worth the price”.

We then cut over to Kylo Ren, who’s making his way over to Rey’s prison cell with Zayla Ren. As they’re walking, Zayla keeps getting on Kylo’s case about how instead of getting the information they need, he allowed her to see into his mind via a Force Link. Kylo defends himself while trying to keep his cool that he had no idea that would happen, and that it doesn’t matter, because with they’re combined strength, they can reach into the mind of their prisoner with ease. However, when they come to the cell, they find it’s been opened, and the guard is missing from his post. We don’t see Kylo’s facial reaction to this, because he’s wearing his mask, but we do hear his heavy breathing. Zayla makes one last stab at him, before leaving him to his “tantrum”. We see a scene similar to the movie where some Stormtroopers casually walk away, but there’s a third one Kylo Ren Force pulls towards him by the throat, and orders him to have the troops search for the missing prisoner, and bring him to her alive (I was thinking of reimagining this scene to have it appear slightly humorous, but then takes a dark turn when Kylo goes back to being threatening).

Speaking of Rey, we cut to her sneaking around the Starkiller Base, trying her best not to get caught. She does well in dodging the Stormtroopers for a while, but then she comes face to face with a few Stormtroopers. Low on options, she once again tries to do a Jedi Mind Trick, holding her hand out and doing the motion, while trying to get the Stormtroopers to let her pass.Though, to her surprise, it doesn’t work, and the troopers just stare at one another in confusion. Rey, tries it, saying “You will let me pass”, to which the troopers say, “No, we won’t”, and they raise their blasters. Thankfully, Rey shoots at them with the blaster she has first, and then runs off while they’re distracted, managing to lose them by some miracle. 

Rey is left more confused than ever (I wanted to make it clear that while she has potential, she’s not a god-mode character. Also, the idea of that scene was just too funny for to pass up.)

We cut to the Republic-Resistance Alliance fleet, preparing begin their mission. They first send out some troops and ships to distract the fleet surrounding the Starkiller, while Poe’s squadron goes in to destroy the firing device, while Han’s group goes in to rescue Rey, and to disable any remaining shields the base has.

The battle is intense, but they manage to buy enough time for Han, Chewie, Finn, the twins, and the red shirts to sneak aboard.Once on board, they use both Finn’s knowledge of the base, as well as the mini-map of the base they got from the plans, to navigate where they might find Rey and the shield controls.However, Finn gets a strange feeling inside him which tells him that Rey is somewhere other than the holding bay. Han doesn’t know what he’s talking about, but Jaina and Jacen say that Finn is onto something, as they sense where Rey is, and they make their way to her location.

Meanwhile, Hux is preparing to fire the Starkiller’s laser, and targets two of the 6 large Republic ships.The Starkiller Base charges its main laser, and opens fire on the two ships, wiping them out. From his ship, Poe hopes the rescue team is able to shut down the shields in time.

We cut to Rey, who, after also sensing the familiar presence of her new friends, is finally able to reunite with the gang. However, this reunion is short-lived, as Phasma and her guards have caught up to Rey, and try to surround heroes. Phasma insults Finn, referring to him by his number and calling him a traitor, and questioning why would he join such a pitiful band of miscreants Finn answers back by saying his name is Finn, and over the course of a few days he’s found more respect and companionship from this group of people than in all the time he’s spent in the First Order. Phasma scoffs at him, saying they’re still outgunned. Finn says that’s where she’s wrong, and smiles toward Jacen and Jaina. Taking the cue, the twins use their Force powers to go all Force Unleashed on the troopers, taking apart some of their weapons, while tossing around others. Some of the smarter troopers flee for their lives, leaving Phasma on her own (There’s also a small line where Jacen says, “Sorry if you knew any of those guys” and Finn says “Don’t worry, I didn’t”).

Just when it seems like they’re about to take her out, Phasma says that in exchange for her life, she can take them to the base shield control room. After making her promise that she won’t backstab them. Phasma takes the group to the shield controls, and turns them off. When asked by Jaina why she’s doing this, she says that she’s not the only “Force-wielding brat” she has an issue with. As the shields go down, the Republic-Resistance morale goes up, and they begin their direct attack on Starkiller Base. While the gang wonders what they should do with Phasma, with Han suggesting the garbage chute, they feel a huge rumbling, signifying the true attack on the base has begun. Phasma uses this as a distraction for her to escape. Before they can catch her, they’re stopped by Zayla Ren, who allows Phasma to get away. 

Jacen volunteers to fight off Zayla as part of a “Round 2” between them, while the others make their escape back to the ship. Jaina says she’ll help, but Jacen says that they still someone to take the new users back to “him”, and she reluctantly goes off. As Zayla and Jacen have their second battle, the rest of the crew head on over to the Falcon and the other small ships they used to get there.

While making their way to the ships to escape, they once again come across Kylo Ren, and we finally get to that scene, only it thankfully plays out differently, with certain characters getting out mostly okay (oh, and they’re not on a narrow platform when this happens).

Han confronts his nephew, calling him by his true name; Ben. Han tells Ben to take off the mask, which Ben does, revealing to Han and Jaina the scar he’s gained from his “training” with Snoke. Han is visibly disturbed by what he sees, demanding to know what Snoke has done to him. Kylo answers that Snoke has taught him more about the power of the Force than any other Jedi has. Han replies “Including your father?" 

Kylo hesitates, until he says that Luke did not hold the power of which seeks. Only through the path he is currently on, can he achieve it. Han says that Ben is talking nonsense, and asks him to look at himself. Han says that Ben has already seen what Jaina thinks of him in this state, and asks him to imagine what Jacen thinks of him. What his aunt think of him. And then Han says "What would Anakin think? What would your mother think?”

At first, it seems like Ben is conflicted, and has some wavering in his voice which seems like regret. But then he starts to slowly become more angry, telling Han that he doesn’t know him, and that he doesn’t know what Anakin or his mother would think.“You’re not her… You can’t possibly know how she could’ve felt.”

Han, his gruff exterior lowering, beseeches Ben to please come home, practically begging him at this point (I was even thinking you could hear him starting to cry, in a rare moment of weakness for his character). Ben, however, just keeps giving a hushed “no” to each plea, until he finally shouts it, Force-choking Han. Ben/Kylo says that he can’t be changed. This is what he is now. Han still pleads between gasps, but Kylo just lets his anger and pain out in one burst and violently force pushes Han into a wall, yelling “Just leave me alone!”

Han crashes into the wall, and is knocked unconscious, while debris from the surrounding area covers part of the lower half of his body. Kylo runs off, not looking back behind him. Jaina tells Chewie and the remaining red shirts to take Han back to Falcon, and get him medical attention ASAP. She goes after Kylo, with Rey and Finn following close behind, despite her warnings.

We cut to Poe and his squadron, finally being able to make it to the main defense reactor. Destroying it would mean that the Starkiller Base would be defenseless. And just in time, because it appeared to be charging for another blast.

We then cut back to Jacen and Zayla’s fight, where both the Jedi and the Would-be Sith have been pushing their limits, with their battle being so intense that make it to the outer, planet surface of the base. As they each try to outmatch each other, Zayla reveals a trick her twin-headed lightsaber can do; she’s able to split it in two, and wield them at the same time (drawing parallels to Asajj Ventress, once again).

We then cut back to Jaina, Finn, and Rey, who’ve caught up to Kylo Ren. 

Suddenly, Rey stops and recognizes this as the same snow-covered forest in her vision. Finn asks her what’s wrong, and she snaps out of it, regaining some of her composure.

Jaina fights off Kylo, while Finn goes off to attend to Rey after she’s been knocked back by Kylo. Jaina manages to fend Kylo off, but Kylo senses Jaina doesn’t want to hurt him, and tries to use this to catch her off-guard. However, Finn returns, with Anakin Skywalker’s lightsaber. Kylo pauses, and recognizes that lightsaber from his father’s descriptions. He demands to know how Finn has it, and demands that Finn hand it over, but Finn says if he wants it so bad, then he should come and get it for himself, igniting the saber. Kylo is now facing two against one, and manages to hold his ground, but struggles. Kylo senses that Zayla is nearby, fighting Jacen. He mentally calls out to her for assistance, to which Zayla agrees, baiting Jacen to follow her to where Jaina, Finn, and Rey are.

It’s now three against two, but Zayla has a trick up her sleeve. Sensing that the twins are close, she uses lightsaber techniques to catch Jacen off-guard while he’s fighting her, and uses one lightsaber of hers to slash at his back, taking Jacen out of the fight. Jacen, wounded, falls over, as Jaina is distracted enough to be knocked back by Kylo. All that leaves is Finn, who is outmatched by the Knights of Ren, but still manages to be cornered by Kylo.

Rey has been coming to, and sees her friends in trouble. She becomes so filled with passion, that she lets out a huge “NO!!”, after muttering smaller nos (another parallel to Kylo), which causes a huge Force push which knocks back Zayla and Kylo (but mostly Zayla, who is now injured and out of commission). We then have the scene where Rey gets Anakin’s lightsaber, only Finn, Jaina and Jacen are all conscious enough to witness it. That, and instead of fully  defeating Kylo, Rey uses her skills she learned with her staff to compensate, but she’s still not managed to completely beat him, only fighting to a standstill (and it even seemed like Kylo might win, despite his injuries) when parts of Starkiller Base start to explode.

Snoke mentally calls out to Zayla and Kylo to retreat for now, but they will make sure the children of the Force will pay dearly for this humiliation. Zayla and Kylo retreat back into the non-explodey part of the base, while Rey and the others are left in the snow. Just then, a light above appears. The Millennium Falcon has arrived, and lands just in time for the rest of them to be picked up, and brought to the medical bay.

Meanwhile, Poe has successfully destroyed the main defense reactor, causing a chain reaction which greatly damages the Starkiller. A good chunk of the FO/UGC forces have also been trashed, and soon begin to retreat, with the Republic-Resistance Alliance having achieved a massive victory.

However, not all is well. Those on board the Falcon are taken to a medical bay on one of the ships (sort of like that ship at the end of Empire Strikes Back), with Jacen having to heal from the wound Zayla gave him, Han slowly reviving from Kylo’s attack, but still in a weak condition, and Jaina, Finn, and Rey being exhausted from the battle.

A week passes, and emergency power is turned on in the command center of the Starkiller. Hux is getting an earful from Krazvlin and Prydus, looking at the ground for much of the conversation. Krazvlin is losing his last bits of patience with the FO, while Prydus is all but foaming at the mouth. Hux does say to the Chairman and the Grand Admiral that while they may have failed today, the Starkiller Base is still in operation. With new upgrades and restructuring, they could have it rebuilt better than ever, and then truly make the Republic pay for this defeat. While Prydus is against it, Krazvlin agrees, on the condition that this will be the last chance on the Starkiller Project. Hux says he will not fail them, but says that they’ll need to regroup their thinking about the First Order, including the construction of a more stable and organized star fleet, as well as more effective soldiers. Prydus, having calmed down, says that is one alternative; a remnant plan from the days of the Empire. Prydus asks Hux and Krazvlin is they’ve ever heard of the “Dark Trooper Project”.

We then cut to Phasma, who is once again having a spat with Zayla Ren. Zayla says that Phasma looks like “something the nexu dragged in”, while Phasma tells Zayla that she’s not in her most “lovely” state, either. Phasma asks why Zayla seems so cheerful, saying that they lost control over their battlestation, and she lost those force-sensitive users as well. Zayla says while that is true, she also says she’s gained something else today. Phasma asks what that is. Zayla says “Oh, just your loyalty, and leverage”.

Phasma asks what Zayla is talking about. Zayla replies that she recalls having saved Phasma’s life twice now; once on Takodana, and few days ago she saved her from being thrown in a trash compactor. Phasma asks that because she was forced to rely on her once or twice, that now means she’s supposed to be indebted to Zayla. Zayla says “No, no, no, it’s not because of something so childish. It’s because I would hate to see someone like you be turned in for treason.”

Phasma is shocked by what she hears, stammering as she asks what Zayla means. Zayla says that she was around the area when Phasma decided to turn on them and turn off the shields to the base. Phasma says that Zayla must be bluffing, and this is another one of her foolish mind tricks. Zayla guarantees Phasma that it is no trick, and she produces a small data drive, saying it contains all the footage the security sensors were able to pick up. She tells Phasma “not to worry” as she managed to delete all the footage of her betrayal, and that all that’s left is within this drive. 

Phasma stammers once again, asking Zayla what she wants. Zayla says that all she wants is to help “protect” Phasma. After the fiasco that’s happened over the course of the past week, she’s been hearing about how heads will roll because of this, and she’s just making sure that Phasma’s won’t be one of them. Phasma remains silent, and Zayla tells her not to worry, because as long as she does what she says, “this ‘Force-wielding brat’ will help you stay in your cozy position, and maybe even get you promoted”. 

Phasma, knowing that she can’t do anything, resigns herself to Zayla’s service, which pleases Rayla as she goes her own way.

We cut to Kylo Ren, communicating with Snoke (I was thinking that now it would be via a hologram, instead of a force bond), saying that he has failed him. Not only have two potential allies to their cause slipped through their fingers, and but the First Order’s main weapon has been crippled. He expects punishment, but Snoke says that while that may be true, Kylo has also shown his willingness to stop holding back, and willingness to cut the ties he had in his “past life”. Snoke says to report to him in-person at his secret location, so that he may begin to complete his training, along with the training of the other Knights of Ren. Snoke says that Kylo is that much closer to achieving the power he so desperately craves; to power to be master over life and death.

We cut to our heroes, with some of them celebrating their victory, while others are more melancholy, seeing it as a bittersweet victory.

The Republic has lost two of its cruisers and some of their own fighters, and have stirred tensions even further with the UGC, which some view critically. However, they’ve also left the First Order licking it’s wounds, and many in the Senate are seeking to pursue economic sanctions against UGC groups who were associated with the First Order.

And it’s also bitter for our heroes. Han is still breathing, and he’s regained consciousness, with Leia at his side, but he’s also hurt emotionally, wondering if the nephew he loved really is gone.

Unlike the movie, Finn is still conscious, but he’s still recovering from the fight with Kylo and Zayla, as is Rey, who he finds sitting by herself, looking a bit forlorn. Poe comes up to Finn, and says she’s been like this for a long time. Mirroring the talk on Takodana, Finn goes up to Rey, but this time Poe accompanies him. Finn and Poe try to comfort Rey, who’s trying even to comprehend all that’s happened in the past week or so. She’s wanted adventure all her life, and thought it would be fun and exciting, and while she admits she’d be lying if it wasn’t fun making fools out of First Order troops, she’s also scared about her encounters with the Knights of Ren, who apparently want her because of Force powers even she can’t understand. Finn and Poe comfort her, while also informing Rey of Finn going through instances similar to Rey’s, where Finn says that he might be also be in tune with the Force, and reaffirms that if there’s any trouble she’s in, he’ll be there to help, with Poe joining in on that declaration of friendship, and they share a big group hug.

After that’s over with, Jacen (who has recovered, mostly) and Jaina approach the trio, saying they must discuss something of vital importance.

Later on, they are discussing with Leia and the trio that from what they’ve seen and what they’ve felt within Rey and Finn, that they are two of the Force sensitive users their master told them to find and protect

The gist is that Luke sent them out to find new Force sensitive students for him and the Jedi Council to train, and that Jacen and Jaina are merely two of the Jedi Knights he’s sent out on this mission to comb the galaxy for potential Force users, young and old, to help train them in the ways of the Force, to combat the growing evil presence behind both the Knights of Ren and the First Order. However, in order to throw off suspicion from the First Order, Luke decided that while some of his new students should be trained by him personally, it would be best if others were to be trained under the guidance of the Masters of the Jedi Council who are currently standing in for Luke while he is in hiding.

The twins decide to take Rey to Luke, and that Finn must be brought to the New Jedi Council.

Rey doesn’t know how to feel, considering while she wants to discover the mystery behind her new power, which could also lead to the mysteries of her past and the visions she’s had, she’s also apprehensive because she was just reunited with Finn, Poe, and the rest of the people she’s just come to now as the only friends and family she’s ever had. Jaina and Jacen assure her that this is not goodbye for her and friends, and Finn and Poe reassure Rey that though they may be apart physically, they’ll always be together in spirit, and will wait until her training is complete.

Although still having mixed thoughts, Rey still agrees to go, and Finn agrees to meet with the Jedi Masters on the Council.

They all say their goodbyes to each other, with Jacen deciding to take Finn to the Council and the Academy, while Jaina takes Rey to where Luke is hidden.

Leia and Han (the latter of whom currently having to temporarily use a hover chair while he recovers), say to them as they begin to depart “May the Force be with you, always.”

Just before they leave, however, Finn says for Rey to keep Anakin’s/Luke’s lightsaber. Rey objects at first, but Finn says that while Luke may not need it, she likely will, and tells her not to worry, since he’s always been a bit better with a blaster, anyway.

With everything said and done, both Jacen and Jaina’s ships take off for their respective planets.

We then cut back and forth to Rey and Finn on board Jaina and Jacen’s ships, respectively, nervous about the whole situation, wondering what’s going to happen to them. While in thought, they’re alerted that they’ve arrived their respective destinations.

Finn and Jacen arrive on the planet home to the Jedi Council and the Academy, Dantooine (Luke decided to move the Council and the Main Temple far away from Coruscant, and also has a temple and academy on Yavin IV, like in the old EU), while Jaina and Rey arrive on the planet with the Ancient Jedi Temples we saw at the beginning of the “movie”. 

Finn and Jacen arrive on Dantooine where they stop in front of pristine structure of the enclave of the Jedi Temple. Jacen says he has important business with the Council scheduled, and they’re led to them.

Meanwhile, Jaina and Rey arrive on the world where Luke is, where it appears that other Jedi Knights are arriving with other Force-sensitive users, young and older.

Also, just to note, Luke abolished the rule of taking Force-sensitive people when they’re children or babies, opting instead to either have them be trained closer to home, so that they can still go back as if it were school, or have their families come along with them, where they provide for them as well (this especially happens with poor families with Force-sensitive children, who wish to have a better life). 

Anyway, Jaina takes Rey to the main ancient Jedi Temple, where Luke is waiting.

We then get another back and forth scene where we cut between the scenes of Rey and Finn meeting their new masters. 

With Finn, we’re brought to the Jedi Council room, where two figures have their backs turned from them, and are looking out the window. Jacen says that he trusts they sensed why they are here. The female figure in the white robes says that they have. Jacen then formally introduces Finn to the Jedi Masters whom Luke left in charge while he was away, and the ones who will help him train him.

The two Masters turn around to reveal an older human man, with a slight scar on his face, and faded brown-gray-ish hair, yet with smile on his face, and a Togruta woman, with also a warm smile on her face.

The Torgruta woman removes her hood, and welcomes Finn to the Jedi Order, and they each introduce themselves as Jedi Masters Ashoka Tano and Kyle Katarn.

Finn is in awe of actually meeting two legendary Jedi Masters.

At the same time, Jaina brings Rey to where Luke is, practicing his Force meditation, currently even levitating a bit from the ground, as certain small objects levitate around him (sort of like he was supposed to be introduced in TFA before changes were made). Jaina pardons her interruption, but she says she’s brought one of “children of the Force” he sensed, and that Rey apparently has something for him. Luke slowly stops his levitating, and the objects around him follow suit. He stands up, and thanks Jaina, to which she says that it was no trouble (a small joke on her end), before calling Luke “uncle”.

Rey steps forward to the man, who turns around and removes his hood to reveal the face of the one who destroyed the Death Star, the one who helped restore the Jedi Order, and the one who brought Anakin Skywalker back over to the Light Side so that he could finally bring balance to the Force; Luke Skywalker.

After a moment of staring in awe, Rey realizes something and remembers what Jaina just said, as well as what Poe said earlier, and takes out the lightsaber Luke once wielded, and his father before him. She presents it to him, thinking he might still want it back as a keepsake. She reaches out to hand it him, but before she can, Luke holds up his hand, and says with a solemn, yet warm smile “No. It’s not mine, anymore.”

Rey is taken aback, but then Luke says that if she so desires it, that lightsaber is now hers. Rey is even shocked now, and Luke simply says with a nod, “Welcome, Rey. As of now, your training has begun.”

We then get a scene where we pan back, and see both the scenes of the new Jedi apprentices standing before their new masters, side by side.

The End of Episode VII

Some fitting music to cap it off:

And that is officially my rough storyline pitch for my rewrite of The Force Awakens. I hope you at least enjoyed some of it, because I have big plans for it in the future, when I come up with the other two story outlines for this trilogy.

Again, feel free to ask me what I have in mind for this “rewrite trilogy”. along with any other questions which spring to mind.

However, I will say this; I will try to treat the original trilogy characters as well as I can, show that their efforts weren’t for nothing, and that everything will turn out right for them in the end.

Until next time, when I come up with the story outline for the next part in this rewrite trilogy:

Episode VIII:The Lost Jedi

[prettylittlebrownskingyal]

Your commentary on titans 👌👌 give us the full review

My main problem with Titans is that there is (a.) no logical and solid justification for these characters and their actions and (b.) this may just be the film nerd in me— but there’s no emotional payoff.

 What irks me more is that the cast is incredible. They’re likeable and capable of handling emotion and they can clearly deal with more than they’re given.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure from writers to showrunners to directors and crew— a lot of work and time and energy has been put into the production of this show.  But these characters are so iconic and in my nitwit opinion, it’s almost painful to see their potential go to waste.

And I say potential because there are moments— mystical and magical, full of hope and wonder and rich comic goodness that make you want more. But they fall flat. 

“Families can be fucked up.”

Titans is supposed to be about family. They literally end the last episode with the song “We are Family.” So why would these people— who supposedly view each other as found family— abandon each other at every given opportunity?

They gang up on Jason in the tower when only moments before they were all fired up about saving the kid from Dr. Light. Gar gets left behind by himself with an unconscious, cleary dangerous super clone. Donna and Dawn fully agree to let Dick rot in prison.

These actions do not reflect people who care for each other. Who want to protect and keep each other safe. Why would this be the core emotional catalyst for any development whatsoever when no actual families are portrayed?

Also, here are two established families featured this season and there were no attempts to have them act as foils for each other even though that would have made clear sense. The Wilsons and the Waynes. Two kids that share stoic father figures that are linked to their trauma. Rose and Jericho have no relationship. No communication. No reason to trust each other. Also, why does Rose immediately give up her life for her father?

Dick and Jason’s relationship had some moments that could have been great to both of their character developments. Dick is his best when he’s being a big brother to Gar and Rachel. Why not let him be the same for Jason?

Here are some things I’d do differently.

1.) No Conner storyline

 Conner, Krypto and Eve’s episode (episode 6) was quite possibly the best of the season. It’s because a family dynamic is clearly established. (It’s a little weird, I’ll admit) But these characters rely on each other. They look out for each other. They care.  (“You didn’t abandon me”// “Can I call you mom?”// “Hot dogs? Get it?”– i ate that shit up)

That being said, it also feels like Conner was just created so they’d have someone to save Jason from his fall. 

The introduction of CADMUS as another antagonist when Slade is a major, overpowering one feels like too many things to juggle at once. If they’d held out, Conner and CADMUS would have been great as the main focal point for a whole season.

2.) More Jericho

Jericho was essentially the highlight of the season. I can’t tell if it was the way he was written or the way Chella portrayed him but that’s what Titans really needs. 

humanity. kindness. friendship and family ties. 

why couldn’t he have had more time with the Titans? why couldn’t he have a relationship with Rose? 

I’d have let him explore his abilities more. His relationship with his mom, with Slade, with each of the Titans. 

They needed to have actual bonding with him. Not just a shoddy backstory.

3.) Better treatment of Rose

Rose Wilson could have been so much more than just a plot point. More than an informant. All she did this season was eat cereal, say “i’m out” and then solve a major fight plot point in fifteen minutes. We needed more of her training, her relationships, her justifications to just pick and fall into a life of an assassin. 

She and Jason had some decent moments of believable cheesy teen behaviour between them but not enough to cover the gaping hole in Jason’s storyline.

4.) Jason needs more emotional moments!!

Not going to lie, I wasn’t sure Curran Walters could do big emotional scenes or make me care as much as he did. But he did. He’s got the bratty, troubled Jason down but he needs to be more fleshed out.

Like Rose, he feels like a caricature of a troubled teen. Where’s his interaction with Bruce? His backstory? His impulsivity and need to prove himself to Dick should be established but it’s not.

That scene where he learns that Rose has been using them all along? That was better than most of what we’ve seen him do.

5.) Donna as a big sister// Donna’s relationship with loss

You’re telling me “older smarter prettier”// “you can crash at my place” Donna Troy who took care of Dick would not look at these kids and want to help? After all Diana’s taught her? WACK

Also Donna and Garth’s relationship? It felt forced. He literally said “I love you” and then died. C’mon man, really? At least give them a pre-established relationship.

6.) Kory?? what happened y’all?

She felt so underutilized this season. Anna Diop is a star. She delivers her performance so well. The moment she heals Conner, her rushing to save Rachel— she has this essence of kindness that fits so well with her strength and the potency of her powers. 

She’s a gifted, royal powerhouse.

So why give her a runaround, stretched out storyline? Why make her kill someone she cared about? 

7.) Hank and Jason?//Dawn, Donna and Kory?// Dick & Gar

The dynamic between these characters whether seen or hinted at could have literally carried full episodes. Why consistently break them apart? Or make them fight or ignore each other? Why not let them play into each other, learn from each other? INTERACT??

8.) Bruce// Dick’s version of Bruce

I like Iain Glen as an older version of Bruce Wayne. I like that he’s a bit quirky, snarky, an asshole and he  says things like “no shit.” But he doesn’t serve much of a purpose and he feels like an instant solution in certain situations. Plus he has no interaction with Jason.

That being said, the use of him as Dick’s voice of reason/subconscious does hone in on the question that Dick keeps trying to run away from— “What would Batman do?” That works for his character. It works for his growth. Their dynamic is wonderful but ultimately, not necessary. 

9.) Donna dying?

That WHOLE scene was so out of place. Why would that have happened after the climax of the story? As an extra source of angst?

Again, the Titans are separated by death. Again, a sense of a family is built up and torn down. No one should have to die for a real sense of familial bond to be established.

10.) Deathstroke’s character//takedown

He’s supposed to be the main antagonist and they all have beef with him. Rightfully, everyone should have gotten a chance in that battle. It happened way too quickly and was very anticlimactic for the old Titans.

Also, Slade killing one of their friends with one, single bullet to the chest literally does nothing for me. Especially since Aqualad is supposed to be a Titan. There’s no real conflict, no tangible establishment of hate. Where’s the torture? the real hurt?

11.) Gar, Dick and Hank and their repeated storylines

they all went through the same arcs again. Dick with his Batman struggle. Hank and his own darkness. Gar and his struggle with control and being controlled and experimented on.

This season should have been about Dick coming into his own as Nightwing. About Gar finally having some normalcy and a place that he feels safe in. He should have gotten some redemption as a hero. Hank (and i hate to say, i hope i don’t sound ridiculous but) should have gotten some resolution with Dawn. Either they’re in or out because the back and forth they do with each other is incredibly toxic and they’ve been established as smart enough to see that.

It wasn’t all bad though and I’ll probably end up doing a re-watch sometime. Since I’ve pretty much spouted asshole nonsense, here are some of the best moments:

The end of the first episode where they’re all standing around their cars and laughing? GOLD. More of that cheesy, established friendship.

Jericho hugging Dick, Dick being unsure how to deal with warmth and forgiveness. Everybody say thank you to Chella for improvising that.

Kory and Donna being detectives and arguing over jelly doughnuts? Yes, please! I love them together. How they clearly knew each other, how they worked well together to take out Shimmer. 

Kory speaking Kryptonian. Anything that furthers her development brings me joy.

Conner saving Jason. That was pretty comic book like— I liked it. 

All the scenes Krypto’s in.

Hank telling Dawn that he knows what Jason’s probably feeling. That was emotional and heartfelt. Also, Hank going “Atta boy” when they were on the phone with Slade. I’m really upset they couldn’t have a brotherly relationship because their characters are quite similar.

Gar, Jason and Rachel interacting like friends/teammates/siblings. Their dynamic works. I’d love to have seen the three of them take on a challenge together.

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

Let’s Read Comics! With Samantha and her Girlfriend :D

The holiday season is upon us!

And so its time for me and my Forever Girl to tackle a comic book story about the holidays…specifically about Christmas because that is the Only Holiday Superhero Comics Ever Make a Big Deal Out Of

The last time we did one of these the Teen Titans re-enacted the plot of a Christmas Carol to get a junkyard dealer to stop recycling and had to be saved by the stories villain after his Heart Grew Three Sizes

So what can we possibly do to follow this up?

Well how about the JLA…SOLVING THE MURDER OF A SANTA?

YES REALLY

Me: Imagine being the ten year old kid who saw this when they walked into a comic store

SANTAS LIFELESS BODY

FACEDOWN IN THE SNOW

His sack of toys laying by his cold lifeless body

My Girlfriend: its like getting Punched In The Childhood

Me: There is a good chance that a lot of kids needed to be hugged by their parents after seeing this cover

My Girlfriend: And a decent chance one of those kids grew up to be Tim Burton

Me: THIS TIME: ON A VERY SPECIAL EPISODE OF JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA

My Girlfriend: “Those orphans won’t wait all evening you know”

They won’t wait because in about three hours or so Bruce is going to adopt them all, put them in short shorts and launch them at Arkham Asylum so they can beat up a Crime Juggalo

Me: When Bruce sees an orphan he must adopt it

And put it in a costume

My Girlfriend: Its actually Gotham state law

But what is the cause of the explosion?

Well….

My Girlfriend: His head feels like WHAT

Me: I think he means like a basketball?

Maybe?

Kind of?

My Girlfriend: How would he know what that feels like

Me: Let’s leave that question aside and instead focus on the fact that we just heard Batman say the line “WHAT ABOUT SANTA?!” while terrified for said Jolly Saint Nick’s wellbeing

My Girlfriend: I want to hear Kevin Conroy say this in his Batman voice

Me: WE ARE ONLY THREE PAGES INTO THIS STORY

And already we are greeted by the sight of a MURDERED SANTA CLAUS

Killed by a mad bomber

Who left a ghoulish calling card

My Girlfriend: Wait

How the hell was the card and the key not destroyed by the explosion?

Me: If we get down to it…shouldn’t Santa be a LOT LESS INTACT given what happened?

My Girlfriend: The guy was ground zero for an explosion….yet his body and his santa outfit…are completely intact

Me: The comics code were probably not totally onboard with bloody chunks of Department Store Santa being splattered all over the room in a full page spread

My Girlfriend: One of the rare times they made a good call

The narration informs us that “Though across the world the night is alive with joyous tidings and holiday cheer, it is now alive with something else…”

My Girlfriend: Unlike Santa Simpson, who is not alive with anything

Me: BABE TOO SOON

The call goes out to the League to solve this situation….

Me: “HEADS UP GANG

WE HAVE A HO HO HOMICIDE TO DEAL WITH”

My Girlfriend: A HOLLY JOLLY MURDER INVESTIGATION IS UNDERWAY

So what are the League doing?

Me: I know the Festival of Lights is probably just Underwater Christmas but the fact they seem to be erecting giant poles makes me really hope its Underwater Festivus

My Girlfriend: MERA HAS A LOT OF PROBLEMS WITH YOU PEOPLE

AND YOUR ALL GOING TO LISTEN TO HER

Me: The Festival of Lights does not end until the entire city can beat Arthur in the Feats of Strength

My Girlfriend: “Oliver Queen and his lady friend Dinah interrupted in the midst of a more personal celebration”

That’s

That’s quaint silver age speak for “They were about to fuck” isn’t it?

Me: Ollie’s original dialogue in this panel was “OH NO IT’S THE COCK-BLOCK SIGNAL”

My Girlfriend: I think the real reason he quit the Justice League is because getting called to superhero emergencies when he was about to fuck

Me: I CAN BELIEVE IT

It honestly makes more sense than the actual given reason

My Girlfriend: Speaking of things not making sense…why are Iris’s parents…IN THE FUTURE?

Me: WHY WAS BARRY ALLOWED TO TIME TRAVEL FOR THE HOLIDAYS THIS NEVER ENDS WELL

But what is Hal Jordan doing in all of this, that’s what your asking

My Girlfriend: I WAS NOT ASKING THAT

NO ONE WAS

Me: But you want to know don’t you

My Girlfriend: if what he’s doing is “The space teenager he creeps on” then no I don’t

Me: No he’s not creeping on a teenager from space this time

He’s doing his second favourite thing!

Me: CONCUSSING HIMSELF

My Girlfriend: The Greatest Green Lantern Of Them All Everyone

Me: This man

THIS MAN HERE

This man who can’t even fucking shower without nearly killing himself

Is the man Geoff Johns thinks is one of the Best heroes Ever

This is the man Grant Morrison thinks is awesome

My Girlfriend: They somehow talked a movie studio into making a film about this man

Me: I just love the way how Hal is like “Oh no my phone!

BETTER RUN IN IN THE SHOWER THAT COULDN’T END BADLY

My Girlfriend: how is Hal NOT DEAD?

This

This should have killed him right

Me: Hal Jordan should be dead

Both in a “He deserves it” kind of way but also in a “The human brain can be easily damaged and a concussion is a serious thing”

My Girlfriend: I love how his ring, which is meant to protect him, just zooms off and leaves its wearer there, knocked out and probably swallowing his tongue on the bathroom floor

Me: The ring correctly believes that a man who refers to his friend with the racist nickname “Pieface” is no great loss to the human species if he dies on his bathroom floor

Where does the ring fly to?

To a certain “Urban Ghetto” and to the Better Green Lantern, known as John Stewart

My Girlfriend: I know this was the seventies but I am still pretty sure even then calling an area an “Urban Ghetto” was considered pretty racist

Me: For a silver age comic this is probably the best we can hope for

John is talking about his job as an architecht when the ring suddenly swoops in and transforms him into Green Lantern, telling him he is needed!

Me: “What happened to Hal?

Did Sinestro capture him? Did Goldface knock him out with a booby trap? Did Star Sapphire kidnap him and strand him on Zamaron?”

My Girlfriend: “No he slipped and fell in the shower and knocked himself out”

Me: “THIS IS THE THIRD TIME THIS WEEK”

And at a meeting of the league….

Me: I really feel like this would feel less uncomfortable if the narrator hadn’t previously described this gathering of the All White Super Hero Team as “A gathering of the Clan”

Right before one of said white men basically tries to start a fight with a black man simply for entering

My Girlfriend: IT IS UNCOMFORTABLE YES

Me: Like I don’t think its INTENTIONALLY terrible

But the fact that Superman is more freaked out by a black man showing up at the Watchtower than he is by the sentient android, the Robin Hood cosplayer or the worlds most violent furry does really have Not Great Connotations

 My Girlfriend: Calm the fuck down Clark you know that Other Green Lanterns Exist

The Ring explains things saying that if Hal is ever “Incapacitated” then its job is to seek out John and have him do the Green Lantern stuff Hal is too concussed to do and John adds that Hal has “One monumental headache” so he’ll be taking his place

Me: I love how the ring didn’t even say that Hal was knocked out

But John just correctly assumes that Hal Jordan has smashed his head into something again and knocked himself out

Because that’s literally what Hal does every week

My Girlfriend: “I’m so sorry I’m not the regular Green Lantern who can’t even walk down a street without smashing his skull into a lamp post like a battering ram

I’ll try to be as heroic and dazed as he usually is”

Ollie responds to this by declaring “What a miserable way to spend Christmas eve!”

Me: Ollie can’t think of a worse way to spend Christmas than being surrounded by friends and people who love him

My Girlfriend: I think he’s still just mad about his and Dinah’s banging getting interrupted

Red Tornado asks what the big deal about Christmas is and we get…

THIS

Me: In this months pulse pounding issue of the Justice League of America: RED TORNADO EXPERIENCES A MICRO-AGGRESION

My Girlfriend: Ollie

If you keep that shit up your just going to make the plot of Detroit: Become Human happen

Me: AND NO ONE WANTS THAT

My Girlfriend: I do love how Red Tornado gets in a pretty sick burn there like “I’m perfectly capable of being taught about human customs I just need a competent teacher”

Me: He’s not wrong either given that Ollie’s idea of explaining Christmas is “Its different because…because…”

Its not a complicated subject Ollie

The Muppets could explain the magic of Christmas to a generation why can you not do the same to this one android man

Ollie responds to Red Tornado’s taunts by calling him “Lobster faced”…

Me: I don’t know if “Racism against robots for being made of strange coloured metal” is a thing but if it isn’t I think Ollie just invented it

My Girlfriend: Any minute now he’s going to start angrily telling the Red Tornado to stay away from Human Women and that he shouldn’t sit in All Human Diners to eat his robot meals

Me: But whats more in keeping with the spirit of Christmas than a family gathering devolving into a bitter argument when someone says something extremely prejudiced

Batman has had just about enough of Ollie  Queen and his seething hatred of all things robotic however and tells the League to knock this shit off because they have a Mystery On Their Hands, Gang

Revealing that unless they find the lock the key they found fits into an entire city block will be destroyed!

Quoth John Stewart: “Heavy!”

Me: That’s something of an underreaction but yes

VERY HEAVY INDEED

My Girlfriend: I love how Batman doesn’t bring up how the key was found next to a Murdered Santa

Me: Batman wisely decided that it was better the League didn’t have the mental image of a brutally exploded to death Kris Kringle in their minds right now

Batman says he knows where to start looking for the lock that the key fits and the narrator informs us that we would too if we spotted the clues in said note

Me: Did you spot any clues in the note?

My Girlfriend: All I could focus on was the sight of a jolly old fat man who delivers gifts to children laying dead and broken after someone brutally slew him to taunt the Justice League

Me: Keep it light babe this is a holiday riff

My Girlfriend: HIS LIFELESS SHELL A GRIM REMINDER OF THE INESCAPABILITY OF MORTALITY….

So where has Batman narrowed things down to?

Me: Thank god they have Batman around

He’s helped narrow down the location of this lock to the ENTIRE CITY OF ST LOUIS

My Girlfriend: How many keyholes can there possibly be to try?

Me: It’s only got a few hundred thousand buildings, houses, apartments and such to search after all

But the League is prepared for this eventuality!

How you ask?

Me: You know

There’s a thing that happens

Especially in action movies but also in general

Where the hero will propose a startlingly simple solution to a problem everyone is treating as super difficult and all the other heroes will be like “My god its so obvious why didn’t we think of that”

And I think its meant to convey that our hero is a real Down To Earth Guy and all these Damn Nerds he’s surrounded by just don’t understand life the way his Down To Earth Mind does

This

This is the exact opposite of that

This is someone suggesting a completely fucking bonkers idea

And everyone treating it like it’s the most simple, logical thing ever and their all just Damn Fools for not having considered it

My Girlfriend: Superman feels like a complete buffoon for not thinking of the practical and logical plan of irradiating a key with special key radiation that only reacts to the Special Lock Radiation of the lock it fits

Me: HE SHOULD BE ASHAMED

That such a perfectly sensible, rational plan never occurred to his super brain at any point

My Girlfriend: His self loathing is as palpable as it is justified

Me: Imagine if this is how the Justice League solves all problems

They come upon a guy with four flat tires

Superman is like “If only the Flash were here, he could run at super speed to the tire shop and get you new tires for your car”

But then Zatanna is just like “The Flash may not be here Superman but by using my backwards magic I can summon the spirit of a serial killer imprisoned in the ninth circle of hell and trap his soul in this shoe

Which will then grant this mans car anti gravity properties as the tortured wailing summons demons to propel it forward”

My Girlfriend: Superman slaps his head and regrets what a dope he was being not to think of such an elegant and simple solution to this problem

Me: Meanwhile the car and its passenger are being carried into the air as he screams for help

However the Red Tornado can’t find the lock for the key!

My Girlfriend: I think the only thing weirder than a plan that involves magically enchanting a key to fit one specific lock

Is doing that but it doesn’t actually help you find the lock the key fits

Me: Its like Robin and his Special Mummy Ray Gun that doesn’t work on mummies

My Girlfriend: I don’t know or want to know what the hell that means

But when all seems lost….

Me: Red Tornado talking about how his Special Key is “Pulsating…throbbing like an overactive heart!” in the presence of the one Very Special Lock that its meant to fit into honestly sounds like erotica but written by Stephanie Meyer

My Girlfriend: Why

Would you just

Make me hear that

With my own two ears

Why would you write that down so people will have to read it

Me: Look if I have to have that thought in my head I won’t suffer alone

As Red Tornado returns to the league, Superman declares that “If I didn’t know better I’d say you were smiling under that helmet!”

My Girlfriend: “Helmet”?

Does

Does Superman…not know that Red Tornado is a robot?

Me: He genuinely seems to believe here that he’s just a guy in armour like Iron Man

My Girlfriend: Has no one explained this to him?

Me: The League sat him down one day and explained Reddy is a robot and Superman was just like “HAHAHA! The idea that some kind of magical mechanical man could walk or talk…preposterous!”

But before the League can do that….

Me: In case there was ever any doubt that the Guardians of the Universe are complete pieces of shit, they apparently forbid Green Lanterns to use their rings to do anything to actually help anyone in any kind of meaningful or real way

My Girlfriend: Their space cops, kitten

There’s about as much chance of a cop wanting to anything to help the poor or black people as there is of Donald Trump deciding he doesn’t want to tweet racist things anymore

Me: They literally have developed the most powerful Wishing Machines in existence but they decided that rather than use them to end hunger, homelessness or poverty they should just use them to beat up Shark Man and Sonar

My Girlfriend: As bad as the Guardians are the League doesn’t come off much better in this scene

Me: It really doesn’t

Like

The Justice League, in its current line up, includes two billionaires, literal royalty with access to royal treasure and a man who can literally MAKE DIAMONDS WITH HIS FISTS

How do they react to the sight of starving children on a street?

“If you really want to help those kids you’ll wish ‘em a Merry Christmas!”

My Girlfriend: “OUR THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU KIDS”

After entering the building, watched by the Sinister Mastermind behind all this…

Me: I wonder which Justice League villain could be behind this plot that revolves completely and entirely around keys and keyholes?

My Girlfriend: DESPERO

Me: My money is on the Queen Bee

My Girlfriend: or maybe the Royal Flush Gang?

Ollie immediately talks about how awful he thinks this place is

Me: Fresh off telling one of his team mates not to use his magic ring to help the starving inhabitants of this part of the city he just gets right to work insulting where they live

My Girlfriend: He does not come across well in this story

The League doesn’t have time to hear Ollie insult the way poor people live for much longer though because they are suddenly dropped down a trapdoor!

And

My Girlfriend: I’M SORRY WHAT IN THE SHIT DID HE JUST SAY IS FALLING TOWARD THEM

Me: A MINIATURE SUN

Because in the DCU that’s a thing someone can just whip together and hide in the basement of a apartment and then drop on the heroes

My Girlfriend: So I guess the rest of this issue is the league fighting a new nemesis…skin cancer

Me: I’m also worried that Green Lanterns under normal circumstances can apparently DESTROY SUNS as long as the suns don’t have a “Yellow core” whatever the hell that means

My Girlfriend: I’m very worried about that as well specifically I am worried they gave this power to HAL JORDAN

Me: I would not trust Hal Jordan with a mop and a bucket and yet the Guardians gave him a weapon that can Destroy Suns and let him wear it on his index finger ._.

So how DO they deal with this menace?

Me: There’s something adorably surreal about the fact the only reason Superman considers a MINIATURE SUN dropping towards him is that it’s a RED SUN and that’s the Bad Colour That Hurts Him

My Girlfriend: I love John Stewart’s face here

“What is this bullshit I am hearing with my own two ears”

Me: He’s just like “Sorry did I hear right that the guy in the red and blue spandex just said that he can survive HAVING SUNS DROPPED ON HIM as long as they aren’t red ones”

And so the League do the only thing they can do in this situation…THEY YEET SUPERMAN AT THE SUN

Me: THIS WAS THE ONLY WAY

My Girlfriend: I don’t think it was

Me: THE ONLY WAY

But where is Superman? A shocked Batman concludes that he has been “Blown to atoms!” and declares mournfully that “My best friend…is dead!”

Me: “Who would have thought that hurling a man at the sun…would kill him”

My Girlfriend: SURPRISINGLY MOST PEOPLE

Me: Still its good to know that the League took all of one panel to mourn their dead friend

My Girlfriend: “Well he ain’t getting any deader”

Me: A man who has not only saved the entire world but each of them personally countless times…a man who has been a friend, a comrade in arms and an inspiration…and they take roughly the amount of time it takes to microwave a burrito to mourn his death

What awaits them in the next room?

A MURDEROUS CIRCUS CALLIOPE THAT SHOOTS POISON GAS

YES REALLY

And a panicked Red Tornado notes that while he doesn’t breathe his friends do because Humans Do That and that since he can’t use his “Super whirling powers” to disperse the gas they are surely doomed!

Me: “MY FRIENDS ARE DOOMED

I swear to you, my loyal and beloved allies…I shall spend an entire panel mourning your deaths”

My Girlfriend: “A panel and a half, tops”

Me: “It’s the least I can do”

Luckily there’s a way to stop the gas!

How you ask?

Me: This…doesn’t SEEM right…but I don’t know enough about Poison Gas Calliopes to dispute it

My Girlfriend: Poison gas can’t get you if you sing loud enough

This is why there has never been a case of carbon monoxide poisoning at a Glee Club, Choir or karaoke night

Me: I can’t argue with sound logic like that

Dinah shoves Ollie through the door just as it slams shut and Ollie batters it with his fists, yelling frantically how “I’ve got to get to her! She needs me! Dinah needs me!”

Me: “DINAH NEEDS ME TO DIE HORRIBLY”

My Girlfriend: “Ollie we all want you to do that sometimes but now is not the time”

Batman tells him to “Pull himself together!” adding “There’s nothing you can do for the Black Canary now…nothing ANYONE can do for her”

Me: Batman sure does have a way of breaking bad news to people in a gentle and compassionate manner doesn’t he?

My Girlfriend: This was more tactful  than his original plan of just screaming “SHE’S DEAD OLLIE” over and over again until the Green Arrow collapsed sobbing on the floor

Me: And once again our heroes take roughly less than half a minute to mourn their fallen comrade….

But as a shadowy figure reports in on the progress of the villains plan we at last learn the identity of this rogue!

Me: OH MY GOD

THE MAN BEHIND THIS PLAN THAT REVOLVES ENTIRELY AROUND A KEY

IS THE KEY

My Girlfriend: I never saw that coming

Not in a million years

Me: I haven’t been this startled since the villain behind the Joker Fish turned out to be the Joker

Back with the League, Ollie urges the team to hurry as “The skunk who murdered Dinah is at the end of this maze!”

Me: Dinah was apparently murdered by Geoffrey St John

My Girlfriend: His crimes are never ending

But before they can go beat up an Archie Comics character they are greeted by…

Me: NO TIME TO USE HIS CHRISTMAS ORNAMENT REPELLANT BAT SPRAY!

My Girlfriend: We can add “Murderous Christmas Ornaments” to the list of things Batman is Always Prepared For

Me: Honestly given how weird his rogues gallery is this is probably not the first time he’s been attacked by killer Christmas baubles

My Girlfriend: I’m baffled by his comment that he “Doubts their friendly”

I don’t think inanimate tree decorations have strong feelings one way or the other

Me: OR DO THEY

Bruce saves Ollie by…by….

Maybe its better if you see for yourselves

Me: …………….

What do you suppose his PLAN was there?

My Girlfriend: I don’t know whats more confusing

That Batman’s plan to save Green Arrow was to let a Christmas ornament eat him

Or that it WORKED

Me: This is also the third time in that many pages that a hero has helped their friends by killing themselves

The moral of this story seems to be that you can solve all your problems with suicide and I’m not sure that’s a very wholesome message for a Christmas special

My Girlfriend: I’m not sure that’s a wholesome message for ANYTHING

Green Lantern reacts to Batman being devoured by an evil bauble with a to the point “Shelve it!” as he tells the others the exit is dead ahead

My Girlfriend: Is the concept of showing human emotion an alien one to these characters

Me: “Welp, Batman’s dead

LETS GO RUN THROUGH THAT DOOR AND SEE WHO GETS KILLED NEXT”

But before they can shelve anything…

Me: HOW MANY LEAGUE MEMBERS ARE PLANNING TO KILL THEMSELVES IN THIS STORY

My Girlfriend: If I had to choose between death by ornament or hearing dialogue like “Sweet sister! That dude ain’t got a chance against those hungry mothers!” I think I may opt for the embrace of death as well

Me: John Stewart’s reaction here makes me think today is not the first time he’s seen a man eaten alive by Christmas decorations and I have Questions

My Girlfriend: John Stewart’s reaction makes me think that a white man is writing his dialogue

Me: Your going to be astounded but you are in fact correct

The two surviving league members are set upon by Killer Toy Soldiers as they enter the next room!

Me: Its just one thing after another today….

Still it is nice that the Key took the time to make sure all his death traps were Christmas themed

My Girlfriend: It shows some real craftsmanship

Me: And it makes sure that his victims are full of holiday cheer right before they die!

The soldiers advance…and John can’t stop them because they turn themselves yellow, rendering his ring useless

My Girlfriend: Superman and Green Kryptonite and Red Suns…Green Lanterns and yellow…how many silver age heroes weakness could just be summed up as “Colours”

Me: The funniest part is that the explanation DC came up with for why Lantern Rings don’t work on yellow?

That there’s a Giant Bright Yellow Space Cockroach Made of Evil Intent living in the Power Battery on Oa

My Girlfriend: It shouldn’t be possible but they really did come up with an explanation that made LESS SENSE than never explaining it

The toy soldiers close in but Red Tornado declares that the battle is not lost “Until we have ceased to function totally!”

Me: Reddy

You have been living among humans for YEARS

Your stepdaughter is human

Your girlfriend is human

All your friends are human

Why

Do you still pretend

That you don’t understand human expressions

My Girlfriend: Calm your Emotion Processor Samantha, before you cause your operating system to overheat

Before the heroes can be battered to death by the toy soldiers a door opens behind them, dropping them into another section of the building!

Neither knows what is going on but Red Tornado suggests they see whats at the end of the tunnel

Me: “Let’s just go marching off into the unknown with no plan

That’s been working out well for us this issue”

My Girlfriend: “Who knows, maybe only one of us will have to kill themselves this time”

So as the Leaguers escape….

Me: Okay you can VERY CLEARLY SEE that they are no longer in that room

My Girlfriend: You and I can

The Key doesn’t appear to have eyes

So he can’t see anything

Me: That would explain why while “Looking” at a screen of his robots clubbing empty air he seems totally convinced that they are beating Green Lantern and Red Tornado to death

My Girlfriend: That or he thinks being clubbed with a gun makes people disintegrate

So what is the reason for the Key’s latest fiendish plot?

Well

Me: Damn activist judges and their moral objections to costumed vigilantes imprisoning people in a hellish state of living death for all eternity

My Girlfriend: Stuff like this makes me worry Alan Moore might have been on to something

Me: It’s a BIT troubling that this story seems to be preaching to us that Americas courts upholding the constitution and protecting human rights is a bad thing

And we should instead live in a world where if a man in a cape says your bad its fine for him to lock you up forever in his Secret Fortress

But if the Key was sentenced to twenty years, how is he out already given that twenty years in comic time is roughly seven decades in our world?

Well

Me: PSYCHO CHEMICALS

NOT EVEN ONCE

My Girlfriend: A timely warning of the dangers of using Superhuman Intelligence Drugs on yourself

Me: I also love how a “Routine examination” in the DCU includes “Checking to see if the mind enhancing super drugs in your system are killing you”

My Girlfriend: Its covered under most health insurance plans

Me: Speaking of things that make so little sense that they are amazing, lets look at the next panel because I Have Questions

Me: At first I thought the Key wearing his Key Helmet in the prison hospital was part of that time honoured trope where supervillains keep their costumes on in prison

But no

Here he is wearing a totally normal suit of clothes

AND A KEY HAT

My Girlfriend: Does he never take it off?

IS IT GLUED TO HIS HEAD

HOW DOES HE SHOWER

Me: IS IT PART OF HIS SKULL

Was this man born with a KEYHOLE SHAPED SKULL

My Girlfriend: That WOULD explain a lot

And also raise a lot of More Troubling Questions

Me: Speaking of troubling, hell of a bedside manner on this prison doc

“So the good news is, you don’t need to make any New Years plans

You can avoid all that stress and hassle this year and every one to come”

My Girlfriend: That’s….one way to look at it yes

Me: I’m just trying to be glass half full here

My Girlfriend: QUESTION: Why did he have to Murder a Santa Claus to do any of this?

Me: You might think there’s some explanation

THERE IS NOT

He literally could have accomplished all of this with a maximum of ZERO Santa Murders but instead he just decided to blow up a Santa just because

My Girlfriend: If I knew I was dying I would not want one of the last things I did in my life to be “Murder a Santa”

Me: its probably not going to get you into the Good Place, Key

My Girlfriend: Still at least he’s happy with the Christmas gift he got himself

Me: That’s what truly matters

So who has startled the Key so badly?

As you might guess

It’s the Justice League, all alive and well!

My Girlfriend: Wait you mean the series DIDN’T kill off its entire cast?

Me: They really had us going for a second there

But how are the Leaguers alive?

That’s the question I’m sure your all asking and the one the Key is as well!

Well its simple….

Me: That’s right

The answer to how the League survived this story

Is literally

A WIZARD DID IT

My Girlfriend: ……………

WHUT

Me: No clever trickery by Batman

No amazing use of his billion or so superpowers by Superman

No ingenious deception involving robot doubles or teleportation or any of that razzle dazzle

Nope

The answer is that a character who up until now hadn’t even been in the story…who in fact hadn’t appeared in the series for half a dozen issues before now…just…showed up and did…SOMETHING…some form of action…that kind of magiced everything good

My Girlfriend: I’m going to offer the controversial opinion that this is an Unsatisfying Climax

Me: Unsatisfying Climax is also Hal Jordan’s porn performer name, little known fact

My Girlfriend: I don’t want to know little known facts like that

So…how did the Phantom Stranger do this?

How did he know they are in trouble?

Me: A WIZARD DID IT I TOLD YOU

That is all the explanation needed!

The Key…does not take this news well

Me: You know what would be handy right now?

If they had someone around capable of performing amazing magical feats who could stop the Key even with the forcefield in place

My Girlfriend: What a shame no one like that is standing around in a cape and fedora doing nothing

Me: Its also not the proudest moment in the League’s history that none of them were fast enough to stop a terminally ill thirty-something man from hobbling over to that control panel in time

My Girlfriend: Some of these people have fought villains who can blow up PLANETS

This is a middle aged man with a Keyhole Helmet  

THIS SHOULD NOT BE THAT DIFFICULT FOR YOU ALL

They Key just kind of…slides down a pin the floor and escapes as the league rushes to deal with this situation

Thankfully we’re spared the grisly sight of countless bodies being pulled from the Festive Wreckage as the League evacuates everyone just in time and John Stewart contains the force of the explosion in a force field

My Girlfriend: WELL THAT WAS ADRUPT

Me: Its kind of weird to think that Robot Toy Soldiers and Christmas baubles gave the team more of a problem than EVACUATING A CITY BLOCK and CONTAINING A DEVASTATING EXPLOSION

My Girlfriend: It is almost as if the story had nearly run out of pages and they needed to wrap things up quickly

Me: YES ALMOST >.>

But not only does John Stewart contain the explosion he also rebuilds the appartments…better than new!

Me: And that

Is one of the many reasons why John Stewart is a better Green Lantern than Hal ever is, was or will be

My Girlfriend: That and the fact he doesn’t date space teenagers

Me: THAT TOO YES

That’s another plus to John over Hal

My Girlfriend: And he’s never given his best friend a racial slur as a nickname

Me: To be fair most Green Lanterns have hopefully never done either of those things

Though it wouldn’t surprise me if there’s more than one whose done both

My Girlfriend: The Phantom Stranger gives pretty good Christmas presents, I have to say

Me: “Saving you all from certain death” definitely tops the gift of novelty socks and a ten dollar gift card for Walmart that Bruce bought for the League Secret Santa this year

My Girlfriend: Up your game, Bruce

Me: AND A MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL OF YOU AT HOME :D

My Girlfriend: God you’re a nerd….

Me: DON’T BE A SCROOGE BABE

Final Thoughts

Me: So what did this yuletide adventure teach us about the magic of the season?

My Girlfriend: It taught us that Oliver Queen is racist against robots

Me: His robophobia is gonna earn him a lump of coal in his stocking for sure

We also learned that the Guardians of the Universe don’t actually care about helping people but rather just want to violently enforce the status quo through the means of brute force and actively ban their Lanterns from doing anything to affect real positive change

My Girlfriend: And we learned that being a department store santa is a far riskier job than you might think

Me: Did they even take the time to bury that poor guy?

Or even alert his next of kin to the fact that their loved one got exploded to death?

My Girlfriend: HE KNEW THE RISKS

If he wanted to live forever

He wouldn’t have become a Santa

Me: You will be remembered, Dead Santa

Your name shall be added to the Wall of Fallen Santas

My Girlfriend: I have an important question: did the league ever actually try and CATCH the Key?

The guy who murdered a man and tried to blow up a city block as an act of Yuletide Terrorism?

Me: Well he said he was dying so I think their thought process was basically “Mother nature will “Catch” him for us”

My Girlfriend: WELL THAT’S DARK

Me: Of course that was folly because in fact the Key survived by using the energy of the explosion to somehow Heal Himself but also turned himself into a giant head with a tiny body as a side effect

Because that’s how you heal a terminal illness

All doctors are liars

My Girlfriend: That…

That’s not true is it?

That’s not ACTUALLY what happened to him

Me: HE LOOKED LIKE A LIVING FUNKO POP

My Girlfriend: Well that’s never going to leave my nightmares

Me: HAPPY HOLIDAYS BABE

My Girlfriend: Happy holidays you monster  

[northoftheroad]

Hits and Hugs

"Call Me Master" By Frank Robbins, art Irv Novick and Dick Giordano. Batman # 215.

So, I know it's cuter to post pictures of Batman/Bruce hugging his kids than hitting them. But when you start looking, the discrepancy between how many times that Bruce Wayne has hit Dick Grayson, and how many times he has hugged him, it is staggering…

Let's be honest: Bruce seldom goes further than a hand on, or an arm over, the shoulder when it comes to being affectionate. And to be completely fair, there are fairly few times when Bruce punches Dick out of the blue. Most common, he is under some kind of mind-control. Sometimes, Dick is trying to stop him from being overly violent. Once, in the examples I have here, it's Dick that starts the fight, and for a while, Bruce chooses to evade, until he hits back.

In the 40s and at least a few decades after that, spanking or a box on the ear was considered legitimate disciplining. For some people, it still is. Which explains some of the incidents here.

I got an interesting comment to an earlier blog post, from atqh16. That the reason Bruce tends to get physical with Dick more often than the others is that he sees Dick more as an equal, not his kid. It's a good point. On the other hand, Bruce has admitted that Dick is like a son to him several times, from the Golden age and onward.

I could still buy that Bruce and Dick's relationship is complicated enough that Dick is both /like/ his son and more of an equal; Bruce doesn't feel he has to guard himself as much around Dick as the younger boys (not that he's doing a stellar job, these days. I would also like to add that I’m no expert on Jason; for all I know Bruce has hit Jason as Red Hood several times over the years). 

I've left out a few panels that never were in continuity – a scene from a what if-tale and the hug from "All Star Batman and Robin the Boy Wonder" – as well as when it wasn't Bruce but something that looked like him. Also, a few times when Dick was mind-controlled and Batman had a legitimate reason to defend himself.

This post is about comic books, but off the top of my head, I can remember that a mind-controlled Batman fights Robin and the others in "Young Justice" season one, and he's also mind-controlled in "Batman: Bad Blood" when he fights Dick and (I think) breaks his arm. (Don't you also wish we sometimes could get a scene where Bruce feels terrible about this, and perhaps even apologizes...?)

If you know of something I've missed, please let me know so I can update! it would be nice if there were another hug or two out there...

"The Strange Case of the Diabolical Puppet Master". By Bill Finger, art Bob Kane, Jerry Robinson and George Roussos. Batman # 3. Batman is hypnotized (it should be noted that Dick knocks Batman out cold and carries him away, after this…)

"The Ghost Gang Goes West". By Bill Finger, art Bob Kane and Jerry Robinson. World's Finest Comics # 4. Batman wants Robin out of the way from a dangerous situation.

"The Isle that Time Forgot." By Joseph Greene, art Bob Kane, Jerry Robinson and George Roussos. Batman # 10. Birthday spanking...

"Your Face is Your Fortune." By Jack Schiff, art Bob Kane, Jerry Robinson and George Roussos. Batman # 15. Bruce doesn't like that Dick teases him about being too old to understand.

"The North Pole Crimes". By Bill Finger, art Bob Kane and Jerry Robinson. World's Finest Comics # 7. Dick is succumbing to the cold, Batman hits and taunts him to get him on his feet again.

"The Case of the Valuable Orphans". Writer unknown. Art Win Mortimer. World's Finest Comics # 24. It is a ploy to get Dick adopted into the house of suspected criminals.

Teen Titans # 53. By Bob Rozakis, art Juan Ortiz and John Fuller. Batman and the other mentors are under the control of the antithesis.

Teen Titans: Year One (by Amy Wolfram, art Karl Kerschl and Serge LaPointe). A retelling of Teen Titans # 53 (this episode is also retold in Teen Titans Secret Origins).

"Call Me Master" By Frank Robbins, art Irv Novick and Dick Giordano. Batman # 215. Bruce is under hypnotic influence. Dick tests his hypotheses by ordering Bruce to hit him.

The New Titans # 55. By Marv Wolfman and George Pérez, art George Pérez and Romeo Tanghal. After Jason's death.

The same scene in The New Titans # 57. By Marv Wolfman and George Pérez, art George Pérez and Bob McLeod.

Robin vol 4 # 86. By Ed Brubaker, art Jacob Pander and Arnold Pander.  Batman hears the news that Jim Gordon has been shot and gets so violent with a criminal that Nightwing tries to stop him.

Batman # 600. By Ed Brubaker, art Scott McDaniel and Andy Owens. Bruce Wayne is accused of murder. He tells his coworkers that he doesn't intend to prove his innocence because Bruce is an ineffectual mask. Dick is upset and, to be fair, throws the first punch.

Superman/Batman # 55. By Michael Green and Mike Johnson. Art Rags Morales, John Dell and Drew Geraci. Bruce accidentally gets Superman's powers, but it also affects him mentally, for instance, he beats up Catwoman. Dick tries to stop him.

Nightwing vol 3 # 7. By Kyle Higgins. Art Eddy Barrows, Geraldo Borges, Eber Ferreira and Paulo Siqueira. Bruce is stressed by the Court of Owls, and he wants to get out Dick's talon tooth. Why he can't just explain it and remove the tooth with pliers is anybody's guess – not to mention that he manages to strike exactly the right tooth...

The same scene in Batman vol 2 # 7. By Scott Snyder, art Greg Capullo and Jonathan Glapion.

Nightwing vol 3 # 30. By Tom King, Tim Seeley and James Tynion IV. Art Javier Garron, Meghan Hetrick and Jorge Lucas. Bruce forces Dick to fight to make sure he's up to going undercover in Spyral.

The hugs:

"Bruce Wayne Loses the Guardianship of Dick Grayson". Batman # 20. By Bill Finger, art Bob Kane and Jerry Robinson. Bruce is upset because he is losing custody of Dick.

"How Many Times Can a Robin Die?" Batman # 246. By Frank Robbins, art Irv Novick and Dick Dillin. Robin is almost killed. And it's almost a hug, at least, isn't it...

JLA # 75. By Joe Kelly. Art Doug Mahnke, Yvel Guichet, Darryl Banks, Dietrich Smith, Tom Nguyen, Mark Propst, Wayne Faucher, Sean Parsons. Batman and several other superheroes were dead. Nightwing leads the JLA, and they manage to get the dead people back. (Perhaps it shouldn't count since Bruce is obviously not doing the hugging…)

Forever Evil # 7. By Geoff Johns, art Richard Friend and David Finch. Lex Luthor killed (stopped Dick's heart) to stop a bomb, but revives him (if it's because Batman loses it, or whether he would have revived Dick anyway, is open for discussion).

Batman vol 3 # 54. By Tom King, art Matt Wagner. 

Flashback – Bruce comforts little Dick who has recently moved in. (New edition thanks to a comment :-) )

[wunderphibia]

why you like the FabFive?

That’s a great question! I always like groups of characthers in fiction, South Park, my last fandom for example had Stan’s gang and Craig and those guys. A lot of shounens too have a lot of mini groups that intersect and interact etc. It was no different with DC! I first started to watch DC through Young Justice and Teen Titans Go, liked their group dynamics but I wasnt... feeling it at first. One day I started to venture outside of this shows and started reading about my favs (aka Dick & Roy at the time). That was when I discovered they were together in another team!

The 60’s comics were... hard to follow but I adored it anyway. They were so cute, innocent (sorta) they melted my heart but what reeeeeally solidified it was Teen Titans Year One! All my headcanons, all my drawings, all my fav dynamics come from Year one, the comic also got me interested in their mentors! I started to read about Green arrow and Aquaman after reading the comic ☺️

If I have to rationalize why I like it I would say that it’s because they look like they are playing super heroes instead of being ones? I like them in this state when they are sidekicks, when they are under the safe wings of their protectors, when they are solving mysteries like its a Scooby Doo episode 😭 From their adult years I only read spoilers, I dont have the guts (yet) to read Titans for example, all the angst and edginess is a :/

[elizabethemerald]

Shipping Game

I was tagged twice! Thanks to both @autumnalfallingleaves and @eurazba for this fun game!

Pick your top 10 ships without reading the questions. [or if you’re a one ship dedicated blog, feel free to answer all of them for just that one, or do all the ships from one fandom, this is just for fun].

1. Jlaireby - Jim x Claire x Toby

2. Barbmura - Barbara x Nomura

3. Hammerhunter - Jim x Toby

4. Girl Power Polycule - Darci x Claire x Shannon x Mary x Aja

5. Main Protagonists - Jim x Darci x Claire x Toby x Aja x Steve x Eli x Krel

6. Stricklakerot - Strickler x Barbara x Angor Rot

7. Blinkbarbmura - Blinky x Barbara x Nomura

8. Mary x Shannon

9. Darci x Claire x Toby (Does this have a ship name?)

10. Trolldads - Blinky x Aaarrrgghh

[God I have 6 poly ships in my top ten, and not a single het appearing one.]

Do you remember the episode/chapter/scene where you first started shipping 6? Stricklakerot

There wasn’t a canon scene but when I first saw this piece of artwork (X) I thought of it as a possibility, fell in love with it after that. 

What’s your favorite fanfiction for 4? Girl Power Polycule

Honestly, I don’t know that I’ve ever read a piece of fanfiction focusing on all of them. I am however thinking of writing that very story. 

What’s your favorite fan art/picture for 2? Barbmura

That is...really hard to say. I think it’s going to be this one (X) because it my dream to have an amazing wedding like this. 

What’s your favorite headcanon for 1? Jlaireby

I have so many headcanons for them, it’s hard to choose. I think my favorite and one I’ve written about several times is that Toby will video call Claire and Jim as “Video dates” while they are on the road to New Jersey. It’s the cutest headcanon to me. 

What do you like most about the dynamic between the people of 7? Blinkbarbmura

This is one of the ships that is the most likely to absolutely lose their minds if something happens to Jim. Barbara was willing to throw hands with Merlin when Jim was hurt. Blinky straight up blew up a dude when Jim was on trial. Nomura has no hesitation with doling out punishment, and willing sacrificed herself to allow Jim to escape the Darklands. Together there isn’t a restraining force among them. So Jim gets hurt, and these three rain an ungodly hell on the perpetrator. 

When 9  10 have sex is it more giggly or more serious?  Trolldads

Uhhhh, I’m not to create a head canon for how three teen aged kids have sex, so how about I do Number 10 instead? I think it would be more serious. Blinky and Aaarrrgghh can be silly and lighthearted, but I feel like when its just them things are more serious. 

Out of all the ships who do you think have the best chemistry?

In order of best chemistry my ships are: Jlaireby, Hammerhunter, and Darci x Claire x Toby. These kids are the ones who have gone through the most. Their relationship is started on being best friends. There’s nothing these kids can’t do together. 

Which ship has the strongest bond?

I feel like saying the Main Protagonists is a little cheating, so I will say Barbmura. These two women, have a longer life experience and more in common throughout. They understand each other, understand what drives the other. 

Which ship do you spend the most time reading fanfiction for/talking/writing about?

Again, in order of how much I’ve written:  Barbmura,  Jlaireby, and Mary x Shannon. These three ships are the focus of my entire After the Eternal Night extended universe. 

Which one was your first ship?

Jlaireby. Being poly myself, I’m always all for shipping all the protagonists. Teen Titans? Lovers. The Mystery Gang? Lovers. The Trollhunters Trio? Lovers

If 6 were to break up, how would it happen? Stricklakerot

Unfortunately it would probably be because of Strickler and Angor’s history. One did kind of enslave the other. That might be hard to forgive. 

Between 3 and 8, who would last the longest if they were in a zombie apocalypse?

Ok this is between Hammerhunter  and  Mary x Shannon. That’s a tough call. Fortunately it just happened to line up two of pair ships, rather than my many poly ships, so no unfair advantage. Jim’s biggest weakness during a zombie apocalypse would be his weakness to sun (I actually have an AU idea focusing on this idea, that I haven’t started writing yet) I think Jim and Toby would win out. They are experienced fighters with magical armor and weapons. Shannon has magic, and Mary’s no slouch in a fight, but I just think experience would win out. Or they would end up working together and be unstoppable. 

Does 7 hide their relationship, and if so, why? Barbmura

I think there might be a brief period where they hide their relationship. Barbara may be unsure how Jim will feel about her dating his father figure Blinky and his former enemy Nomura, much less at the same time. I think when Jim tells he is dating Claire and Toby at the same time, she implies that she might also be dating multiple people. Jim guesses right away that her partners are Blinky and Nomura. He’s happy for her and for them. Toby and Claire are the ones to give them both the shovel talk. 

What is 9′s favorite date to go on? Darci x Claire x Toby

So far in my writing they have gone on a date to a coffee shop and a funeral. Of the two they definitely seemed to prefer the coffee shop. I think staying in would probably be their favorite dates in the future. 

What’s your favorite canon moment between 10? Trolldads

So my two favorite moments are when Blinky lovingly touches Aaarrrgghh’s statue in the library while Jim is in the Darklands and when Blinky is human and Aaarrrgghh is wounded by Creeper’s Sun and they are both being awkward around each other and so sad that things are weird. 

What do 5 argue most about? Main Protagonists

Ok. Ha ha ha. Take your pick. There are a lot of powerful personalities here. A lot of different ways of approaching problems. They’ve all had their share of arguments about how to deal with their trials. I mean even in a domestic setting where they have a massive house in Arcadia, or in the Royal palace on Akiridion-5, or cave in New Trollmarket. There could be arguments about so many things. I love them all, but there are quite a few hot heads in this group. 

If you had to pick an OTP which would you chose?

Even the concept of choosing one can go fuck itself. The closest I could get would be the choosing two. All the Teenagers and All the Adults. Every teen is dating every other one. Every adult is dating every other adult. Two massive love webs. Who even chooses?

What’s the biggest kink that 1 2 shares?  Barbmura

Uh,, Still not making sexy things for teens so for number 2 instead? That’s a hard one. I don’t think its anything related to bondage or domination (Mostly because i feel like they are both doms) I think it would be “marking” the other. Scratches, bites, hickeys and the like. In her troll form Nomura has to be careful not to make the marks permanent. Barbara will cover her body in lipstick kisses, when they are both human, the fun can get intense. 

Do 8 want children? Mary x Shannon

Hell yeah! Shannon is from a long line of lesbian witches. She knows a spell that can allow two women to conceive. Their kids are going to be so pretty and they’ll have a share of Shannon’s magic. Plus they will have so many magical aunts and uncles as the rest of the Reckless Club jump over themselves to take care of the kids. 

Between 10 and 4, which would you rather become canon?

Which one is more likely? Trolldads. Which one would I prefer? The lesbian power polycule. Like let’s get all the ladies to date each other. It’s super gay and very wholesome. And they can all kick the asses of any guy who messes with them. 

Does 2 do much PDA? And does it annoy their friends? Barbmura

Uh, probably yeah. In my story I’m writing for these two, they are pretending to date at first so they do a lot of PDA to prove that they are dating. Then when they are actually dating that trend continues. They are both in other matters pretty private people and probably wouldn’t normally, but they love each other so much they can’t help it. The PDA annoys Toby and Jim but no one else minds. Barbara is basically Toby’s mom, and literally Jim’s and they are both done with having to see their mom kiss changelings who tried to kill them. 

Which of the ships would you say is the most romantic with each other?

Jlaireby, hands down. These kids who have, almost literally, been to hell and back for each other? Oh yeah. They know exactly what the others need, when to hug, when to kiss, when to give them space and when to hold them tight like they will never let go. They all go above and beyond for each other Valentines is a glorious disaster every single year. And their anniversaries (there are multiple depending on when each felt they started dating the other. None of them agree on the actual dates) are always magnificent. 

How would the proposal between 5 go?

I already wrote this! (X) Like so many things, it’s a god damn disaster of a romantic night. All the planners and over thinkers interacting with all of the spur of the moments. They didn’t even mean for it to be this poly or this gay, but it sure as hell was. After everyone proposed and danced they retired to Jim’s house (it was closest) and fell asleep on the floor in the living room. The next morning they tried to sort out who had proposed to who. The relationship web became increasingly silly. A few folks who didn’t get the chance to propose to everyone they wanted to did so in the morning. Which made the relationship web even more difficult to read. They gave up when someone asked what a wedding like that would look like. I am now going to write this up!!!! This is great. 

Who cooks more often in 3? Hammerhunter

Is there ever any doubt? Jim all the way. 

I’ll Tag @yellowmagicalgirl, @imthegingerninja and @sombra-core Uh if anyone else wants to do this please feel free! I don’t know how many people have been tagged already. 

[fancyfade]

random dc thoughts, because i’m waiting for my dad to finish his coffee so i can have the chair thats comfortable to do hw in

i have been consuming various DC media lately. Obviously Green Lanterns (I mean, I just was posting a ton of screencaps).

Other stuff and thoughts associated

Teen Titans Rebirth: You may think I’d love this because Damian is a very central character and he’s one of my favorite characters, but I didn’t. I appreciated seeing more Al Ghul lore and stuff about Damian’s past, but it didn’t really feel like a ‘team’ set-up. there were some charming parts, like everyone bonding over their supervillain family members (starfire and blackfire, kid flash and reverse flash, raven and trigon, damian and talia and ra’s), but for the most part it felt like the damian show and the other characters were along for the ride, which even though i love damian, if i wanted a damian show and not a team show, i’d read his solo miniseries. there was an arc with aqualad (jackson hyde) i liked, and when everyone got fed up with damian we got to see starfire start being in charge. but it didn’t really feel like kid flash, raven, or beast boy got to do much of anything cool.

Teen Titans (TV show): Like Teen Titans rebirth, this felt disproportionately favoring one character, except I didn’t even like the favored character here. the favored character is robin (again), who is allegedly dick grayson (he’s nightwing later), but he doesn’t really act like him. or more of, he does act like dick, but during dick’s bad times where he’s all “oh i must do everything and i must do it alone”, except this guy never has any good times. he also effectively has superpowers, despite not canonically having superpowers, just because the writers don’t know how to do fight scenes. for instance, in some scenes he’ll push off like... a horde of slade robots piling him (like that thing where you get dog piled and then stand up and knock them all back?) despite starfire (who canonically does have super strength) being unable to do the same thing - in the same episode, in the same fightscene. in fact, often they seem to damsel starfire so he can rescue her which is just shitty and obnoxious.

when they bother to flesh out other characters (like terra’s arc in season 2, cyborgs in season 3, and ravens in season 4), it’s good, but slogging through the episodes they don’t is a pain.

The New Teen Titans: I read some of these after watching the TV show and the team dynamic is actually much better than it was in the TV show. Also starfire felt like a completely different character. I liked her better in the comics. In the comics, she loved and hated with equal intensity, she seemed just as loving with her friends as she was merciless with her enemies. a very interesting contrast which was completely erased in the TV show.

I was also amazed that I didn’t hate wally west? Young Justice (TV show) made me think I’d completely hate him because his character trait for season 1 seemed to be continuously ignoring his female teammates boundaries and hitting on them despite how often they indicated their lack of interest (or trying to get them to kiss him, in the birthday episode). Well he didn’t have that in the comics I read, he seemed to just be a normal person was conflicted between college and superheroics. if i was a wally west fan, i’d be pissed at how they did him in the tv show. unless who knows, maybe he has all those negative character traits in the other places he shows up.

I also felt like they utilized Robin much better. he wasn’t catered to - he was the leader, but he didn’t have any random charles atlas superpowers. when he did cool stuff, it felt like it was because of his training/character, not just because the writers obviously liked him best.

cyborg seems to be really perceptive of how other people are feeling, but doesn’t always show it. that’s true of both the tv show and comics IIRC. also i liked his plotline where he got to hang out with other disabled people.

generally i liked it, but doens’t mean it’s without issues. most of which are around how the writers handle cyborg. (feels like there are some racist tropes in his backstory (he was in a gang and one of the tie in comics has him tell of his friend for blaming white people for his problems) and some ableist tropes in continuously only reffering to him as half human)

young justice: you may notice I tried reading this because I tried posting some screencaps and while some parts were amusing I couldn’t get into it. i can’t remember why though. i think at least part of it had to do w/ female vs male character usefulness in fight scenes, but i’d have to re read to confirm and i really don’t want to.

detective comics rebirth: so far I like it. I love Cass (obviously) though after reading some commentary by spiralcass i definitely agree she seems a bit more simplified and younger from her solo title. I also love batwoman and feel like she gets to have some of batmans traits you don’t often see in a female character (she pushes people just as hard, not really super coddly). and i find the idea of clayface working with the team rather than just going back to jail much more interesting.