#Begging myself to shut up
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I think my god complex is getting out of hand
Every time a chapter or interview drops I feel like
🫵
I told you so!!!
And beg myself. To shut the fuck up, no one cares
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk manga#Begging myself to shut up#jjk#gege akutami#hyperfixation#jjk theory#special interest#Super autism
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BRO LITERALLY DOXXED HIMSELF TO THE CYCLOPS. he was asking to get jumped come on
#ATHENA WAS LITTERALLY BEGGING FOR BRO TO SHUT UP AND HE WAS JUST LIKE:#“HEY CYCLOPS IM THE REIGNING KING OF ITHACA AND MY NAMES ODYSSEUS BET YOU CANT FIND ME”#my art#epic the musical#epic the cyclops saga#odysseus#odysseus of ithaca#odysseus epic#athena#athena epic#eurylochus epic#out off topic but people that sent doodle request on ask im not ignoring y'all ok#it's just that my grandpa fell down on the kitchen and hit his head so now ive been a bit busy taking care of him#he's good btw nothing happened to him it was just a cut#but the gdi head always bleeds so much it was so scary#plus i felt another artblock starting so I had to doodle something silly and funny to kinda motivate myself lol#AND PLUS i started trying animating and turns out I KINDA HATE-LOVE IT#it's SO MUCH WORK TAKES SO MUCH TIME IT CAN BE SO BORING AT TIMES#but also once you kinda check how its looking overall it feels so good and fun??#anyways ill probably get to those asks around the weekend when ill have some free time :)
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Sigh
I can't believe I have to say this
If you know of anyone who's y'know "bad" or anything of the sort and happens to follow me... don't??? tell??? me??
Regardless of the circumstances and actions of the person, I say this with the utmost respect and fear: I don't want to get involved
What people who follow me or don't or have me blocked or muted or whatever do in their free and irl time is not my business
I know not to mess with english-speaking communities' personal affairs now. Like, no offense, but y'all are pretty fucking creepy when it comes to stuff like that, and that's why, again, I don't want to get involved
I have enough problems in the real world currently. Please understand that! 🙏
#im not trying to be mean or anything#im just gonna put it out there#im legit traumatized by the way english speakers and gringo cultured ppl handle these situations#im not even using that word lightly#getting the anon ask that spawned this post into existence made me want to puke and do not very nice things to myself#so please i beg you#dont tell me about it like im supposed to do anything to fix things#I also understand that many people believe larger accounts have a responsibility to get this sort of stuff out there#but im not strong enough for this kinda business#yall scare me way too fucking much atp#ughhh#aneh wont shut up
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"your ship will never be canon give up"
bro if they make sun/eclipse canon im ripping my house apart dont they DARE touch my otp
all my shit will never be canon and it should STAY like that
#birdcage rambles#sun and moon show#sams#the sun and moon show#tsams#eclipse x sun#sun x eclipse#i dont trust them man#im possessive over my ships#leave that shit to be fanon#i fucking beg#can they not put them in strangely homoerotic situations? they absolutely can and its fuel to the fire#but dont make it canon man#(all very light hearted im just annoyed when ppl try and tell ppl to stop shipping things bc it ''wont be canon'')#(like pls. dont EVER become canon)#this isnt even considering that multiple would be just straight up abusive and i doubt theyd allow that#bleh shut the fuck up (directed at myself)#i need to keep writing my gay fics
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kinda want to rewatch apocalypse just to criticize it again
see if there’s anything else i can pull apart
or maybe dofp
idk i need to just pick one and watch it
but it’s too late for that i have a good sleep schedule to keep in tact i cant ruin it now
just gonna need to pick something from my brain
i mean when Charles get baldified i physically cringe idk what it is about it
maybe its the fact he just lost his beautiful princess locks 💔
and when apocalypse takes over cerebro and Charles eyes go black. there’s something about it that just doesn’t fit and i have no idea what it is
also how was it a bad thing apocalypse sent all the nukes to space (apart from actually littering and causing some other problems due to that)
i don’t think we should let old people have access to bombs let me have them or something
the old men are sad because they lost their lethal toys ☹️
something i don’t understand is why stryker took Moira
like i get why he took the others but Moira???
tf did she do??
conspiring with mutants?? huh????
honestly the movie would’ve been just the slight bit better if Moira wasn’t there
SHE DID NOTHING
LIKE ACTUALLY NOTHING BUT STAND AROUND IM SO PISSED
DO SOMETHING????
all she did was flash around her title that she works at the CIA
you can’t convince me Charles is straight i know he’s sucked dick AND taken it up the ass 🤨🤨🤨
moving to a new topic BUT WE COULD OF HAD MISTER SINISTER
like there was more reference to him in new mutants BUT STILL
SHOW ME ESSEX CORP WHAT DID THEY DO WITH LOGANS BLOOD???
did transigen steal from them or something? maybe that’s one of the ways they could of made Laura who knows
idk what else i could talk about that i haven’t already said
#apocalypse is down there with dark pheonix#dark pheonix only gets like a point or two because of the train fight scene and cherik proposal#when apocalypse took over cerebro i partially cheered#finally doing what charles has always been scared of#total mass destruction 😁#charles pookie please going ruin a bunch of peoples lives the people demand it (me)#desperate for him to use his powers to its maximum#imagine one day he got bored and just rickrolled the whole earth#massive feat#he could do it too 😭😭#charles please i beg you to send memes to every living thing#that would be so funny#that okd man needs to get to some antics#i wonder what everyone was thinking after charles’ message#‘that was going in a completely different direction before the end what was that’#ALSO CHARLES IS OMNILINGUAL I NEED MORE PEOPLE TO CONSIDER THIS#BRO CAN LEARN ANYTHING JUST BY BRUSHING SOMEONES MIND#BRO PROBABLY KNOWS THE WHOLE ALAPHABET 😨#an angel looses its wings when charles only knows english in fics 💔😔/j#i wish charles used his actual power of psionic blasts in the movies#sighh the potential you have babygirl 💔💔😿😿#gonna stop myself here before i reach the tag limit 😨#cherik#charles xavier#professor x#x men#erik lehnsherr#xmcu#wish does not shut up#anti xmen apocalypse
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I don't feel loved
#:(#like really it's a terrible thing to feel but it's not as much as i am giving and it makes me feel so bad#i am not loved enough and to think that this torment would continue always makes me shut my heart and don't start for anyone#it's so pathetic but i can't help it because i don't get it as intense as i am giving and it's always that never scratching even the surface#i think about her alot but she doesn't thinks of me#i try to make him happy but it's never enough#i try to keep myself sane but i sound like a child begging to be taken along and it ain't working for me#I don't think love should be difficult or unnatural#it should definitely come in my way because i deserve it like anyone else#i should feel loved and i hope i do and i hope it changes#to wake up one day and not feel terrible or to just hope for a home where i am loved and cherished#where my love is celebrated and people don't just tolerate it#i want all those pretty giddy feeling for myself#not sorry for rambling because it's my blog !#desiblr#being desi#desi tag#anxiety#sadgirl#love#tw depressing thoughts#tw mental health
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icl i would be at least a little happy with almost any ending for stranger things but one thing that would ruin all of it would be an epilogue (of a decade or more later)
#it would just kinda ruin the fun of imagining them doing whatever tf i want them to these days yk#like even if everyone got together the way i wanted them and got the jobs i think fit etc it would still just kill the creativity#+ even the small things would annoy me like what if i just don’t like what one of them named their kids. or dresses like in 20 years#maybe i wanted them divorced by then but that would’ve angered the fans#maybe i wanted to imagine that single person’s future spouse myself (or keep them single in my head)#what if i want them to recover from this or that or still be working on it. what if i the adult/older actors look shit#anyways point is do not do an epilogue timeskip of more than 5/6years PLEASE i am begging u duffer brothers#stranger things#byler#<- u guys get me on this yk#even if byler isn’t canon at the end i can still at least imagine they do in uni or in their 30s or whenever#as long as there isn’t some fucking scene where mike and el r old and married in 2023 or something#would just kinda ruin all of it; making us see them as old ass adults with their entire lives set it stone yk#manifesting a few month/year timeskip where everyone gets a happy ending isn’t all “and then they lived a nice life in this specific way”#and especially manifesting that we don’t get an#“i haven’t seen you guys in decades how’ve you been? sucks that erica died in a car crash last year. she was almost 40”#type epilogue (if we must have one)#like no hate to amphibia and that one 80s movie but it just kinda makes what happened before a bit pointless if it focused on their#relationships at all#like cool we spent years watching these friendships grow and adapt only for u to go “yeah and we’re strangers now soz :)” like ok so none o#that lasted#idgaf if it’s “realistic” if i wanted realistic representation of childhood friends into adulthood id think about real life and shit#idk random rant if they do any of this shit i WILL kill all of them and then myself#ryan shut the fuck up
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Ajsnsnsn Me when someone talks about Sonic and Tails' relationship in any capacity or mentions them
#sonic the hedgehog#tails the fox#miles tails prower#sontails#unbreakable bond#sonic meme#snsnnn although for the record whenever people bring up Sonic Prime I have to beg myself to shut up about my infinite thoughts and also not#to mention sonine or sonineadow
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what if. what if I did a whole post abt ex-togame what if.
#no because........ the way I'm in my feelings for him and in my feelings for angst should be illegal#hands itching. i need to write i need to write sOMETHING#togame ? trying the most to make things right only for your relationship to fall for the 1 thing he can't do that's communication? HMU#i genuinely think he wouldn't be desperated begging for a second chance bc im a firm believer he would be pissed#HOWEVER ☝️ May I suggest ☝️ togame slowly loosing his mind because you accidentally left something in his house ☝️#its the idea of 'he has so much of you' in his house and vice-versa just to show how he genuinely tried so much how could u not see it ?!#not me yapping abt this instead of writing........ alright maybe I'll make a part two of that prev posf just for him 😐#'your fault for letting your girl get so comfortable togame' 'shut up stop saying that you're not my girl anymore' 'sorry. habit.' 'i know.'#I CAN WRITE A MESS SO MESSY I PROMISE 🙏🙏🙏🙏 ILL DO IT ILL DO IT#i just need angst in my veins atm and you guys know me I can't do that to ume. its too much for me to handle.#ALWAYS ALWAYS obsessed with different ways a enneagram 2 reacts to it. as a 2 myself. ume and jo the mans that you both are.#ALRIGHT ENOUGH ill write it. by next week i promise 👍👍👍#if i dont get any requests it will be the next thing promise 👍#e.txt#jo togame x reader
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me vs that one wip that im actually quite sure i'll be adding to until the day i die
#unfortunately it will never be finished ever#i thought id almost finished it the other day but. apparently not#can someone talk to me about it im literally begging#blah blah!#do i tag this as it#hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm#i wil#pulling your face close#teehee#wtf am i saying Teehee nobody gaf girl shut up#sorry id rather humble myself ebfore anybody else gets the chance
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okay we have until january for someone with not shit aim toa ctually kill him
#please im begging for one itd be so fucking funny and two id prefer not having like all my rights taken away#man i went to sleep to try to ignore it and then woke up had to remind myself the election was real checked the results and immediately#regretted it this shit sucks#i hate everyone so much#jello shut up challenge#even vance would be better than him cause theyre all fucking useless without trump anyways or at least will be for a while#for legal reasons i am joking i do not support violence against anybody let alone the assassination of a president
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Look at what Mark says about Julian and Emma planning to go to Kit's house in lady midnight-
And Kit IS objectively a danger to any household hes in!! It drives me insane
#alex wont shut up#kit herondale#tda#undescribed#i have this AU where Kit was actually meant to die#either in the attack that took his dad or when he first tried to leave the Institute. he was supposed to be found by the Riders#and the Blackthorns saving him indirecrly led to Livys death#ive never done anything w it tho bc its too angsty#though i do sometimes entertain myself by imagining Kit finding out and begging Magnus or Ragnor not to tell Ty
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having an intense moment of "why am i even putting forth all the effort to write this 30k+ word fic when only one person is going to care about it and that person already knows everything that happens" tonight (not helped by the last 30k word fic i put out getting 9 kudos and one singular comment) and trying to remind myself that i write because i like writing, because there are stories i want to tell and that even if i'm only telling them to myself it's still worthwhile
but also. it's a struggle when part of why i write and post things is because i want to connect with other people through telling stories and making them feel things the way the stories i read make me feel things, and when there's no evidence that people connect with the things i write....ugh. it gets to feeling pointless
i know. i know. and i won't let depression or anxiety prevent me from doing one of the only hobbies i still can participate in, and the creative outlet i've had for years. tonight is just...being very ugh about it. maybe because the scene i'm working on is being very tricky and a struggle to get through right now and i only have the aforementioned one single person to hype it.
#ramblings#i know it's absolutely stupid to complain when at least i DO have that audience of one who is also a hype man#but. gestures. idk. anyway i'm making myself shut up now and going back to the mines (google docs)#but i just had to get this off my chest a bit. even if it sounds like i'm begging for attention#which i KNOW i'm lucky to have gotten one comment at all!#i think the biggest problem i'm having is when i was writing for niche star wars video games i had a friend group of fellow creatives#and we all hyped each other up and stuff#for ffxiv i do not have that i have one friend who plays a couple people in my fc who are nice enough to smile and nod when i talk about#writing and a couple people here on tumblr i exist in the same vicinity as. so it's....less. i miss having a fandom friend group lol
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Um. A fee I didn't know I was being charged for from the service I order meds from just came out of my bank account and now I have negative money
Anyone wanna pay me to write or doodle things for them?? ;;w;; My Ko-fi is in my pinned post if so.
Just let me know exactly what you want (and who you are, so I can contact you here! Or you can DM me letting me know which request was yours) and I'll get right to it. I don't have a commission sheet or anything so just give what you can and I'll do my best to make it worth it.
I'd really appreciate any help I can get right now from those of you who can spare it!!
#when i asked for money for my volo microorganism it felt silly and i was half joking. this is serious though and i feel rly bad about it tbh#i don't mean to beg but like. PLEASE consider#seriously ANY little bit helps#just. god.#been in a depressive episode for months. can't get a job. my health is worsening. i can't eat because my throat muscles no longer work#can barely sleep lately which is making it harder to apply for jobs and stuff. just had to have my partner pay over 1k in car repairs that#were necessary but i couldn't afford myself. still have to do christmas shit. still have to schedule my wisdom tooth surgery.#this feels terrible. everything is going so wrong lately. not to bring on the pity party but like holy shit lmao#i'm in shambles lately and idk how much the overdraft fees will be but just knowing I might be fucked is already tolling on me so hard#shut up crisa
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I need to get off of this fucking website, I do not have plenty of time, I do NOT have plenty of time!!!
#Alex I beg#Alex#shut the fuck up Alex#yes I’m talking to myself in the second person maybe that will work!!!#it’s not working but it might start working#I have something due in 2 hours and 27 minutes#and I do not have plenty of time#That might be plenty of time if I wasn’t on tumblr dot com
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taylor pls play i hate it here on saturday for the lisboners 🤍
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