#Before you forget you love them

[inkskinned]

she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.

my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.

my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.

my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.

at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.

my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.

i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.

two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.

it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.

[egophiliac]

everyone out of the way, this is the only thing I'm going to be thinking about from now on.

(okay, there is one more thing)

[i-am-probably-alive]

I'm done. I'm just. done.

l've spent the last..well, all my fucking life really, trying to force myself to be someone who l'm just. Not. And I can't tell who I am anymore but I know it's not that. I know that when I look in the mirror, I'm not looking at myself, l'm looking at a statue carved by every hand except my own. So l'm done. I'm done. I'm done with faking my personality, my thoughts, my feelings. I'm done with forcing myself to do things I hate so I can have the life everyone else is trying to make me have. I don't want it. Even if it means I will live a life of mediocrity, I'm done.

I don't know who I am anymore. I don't know if any of my hobbies are things actually like, or if I just think I like them because I feel I should. The only thing that feels real about me is the things l've put the effort in to hide. And even then I don't know. The only thing I know is that I'm over it. Cause I've been keeping something up for too many years now, and it's all been crashing down over the span of a few months, and l'm done with it.

I know no one will see this post, but that's fine. That's good. This is my resignation to myself. This is the proof I can look back to every morning to remind myself that I'm over it. This will finally mean that Im done, and the world, wether it realizes it or not, knows I’m done. This post serves for nothing except for being able to finally realize it, finalize it, put out my message for the world to hear-even if it is merely a whisper that no one will ever pay attention to.

I'm done. I don't care if that means I lose all my friends, or if my family sees me as more of a disappointment than they already do. I.

Am. Done.

Jesus fuck that felt good to write out.

[ohvun]

D E V I L C H I L D >:D

I just think it'd be cool if her demonia fleur was a lil more grotesque yk?

Got super inspired seeing this post by rly cool @wigglesdtuff about a year ago and finally finished it!!:D

I ended up using a picture of a figurine to get the wings to work better bc I was s t r u g g e l i n g ;-;

[hajihiko]

inspired by a convo with @miggylol, some Peko loving ❤ I wouldn't call it a xmas present but maybe ... a stocking stuffer?

[jessmalia]

Mal's Teen Wolf rewatch: Pack Mentality (1x03)

[deoidesign]

Thinking about vampires, death, life, and the space they occupy in between

[xxplastic-cubexx]

it doesnt need to be said but its genuinely so funny how at-the-hip charles and erik are in krakoa like they really had the green light- the OBLIGATION- to be as obnoxiously close to each other as possible and abused that right to the fullest extent

[pokimoko]

Hello!! I came across a couple of your animals with pride flags series (idk what you're actually calling it lol) and I wanted to request an intersex blue-ringed octopus (I'm not intersex myself tho lol, just thought it might look neat)

Oooh, this was a fun one! Thank you for the request! 🐙

[stunie]

it’s so easy to forget that you can literally write whatever you want

[egophiliac]

do skully have pokemon?

Pumpkaboo is the obvious one, but y'know, sometimes the obvious one is the right one! (we'll say SUPER SIZE Pumpkaboo, just for fun. big pumpkin for big skeleton boy.) and another person actually also suggested Greavard, which I somehow hadn't considered, but feels so perfect that I feel like I should have. dangit.

(they can also have little Nightmare Suit costumes :D)

[dollypopup]

"Colin should have grovelled more!" "Penelope folded too easily"

I think statements like this typically come from people who like Penelope. . .but don't really understand her. And don't really understand just why she cares for Colin, and just why him groveling would not in any way bring her peace.

Penelope and Colin are kindred spirits in their loneliness, in season 3 more than any others. Penelope had lost her friendship with Eloise, and Colin didn't really have a close friend circle to begin with. Except with Pen. Pen was the person he could put the mask down for, could open up to, (in particular with their 'dreams' discussion) and that's why he couldn't even entertain the idea of giving up talking to her in Season 2. She is a vital part of his life, and holds so much significance and importance to him.

I imagine that's what made their silence over his travels especially painful for him. They spent such a long time talking after Season 1, and he even informs her that her letters were so encouraging, that it helped him heal something inside of himself. That if she could see him in a gentle way. . .so could he. (And he repays this, because he is honest to god out here acting and looking at her like she hung the moon in the sky). But without her presence in his life, he spiraled. Didn't feel confident in being who he is, and thus put on his persona more firmly. We know this because he wrote in his journal that "I want to be less needy, less insecure, while still maintaining the core of my vulnerability that makes me who I am". That he misses his family, that he misses home.

And we know, from the books, that Home? Home is Penelope. Penelope is his North Star, is his guiding force, and who I argue he feels he needs. In his very first scene, he looks toward her house, tries to find her in the window. When he does not, he returns to his family. In the outdoor gathering, he looks for her and finds her, eager to talk. He states aloud that he misses her, and I imagine he wrote it, too. Not hearing back from her over the course of his travels was surely something that hurt him, but he doesn't hold any ill will toward her for it, only wants to reconnect again. In fact, the one and only time he brings up how he misses her and that she didn't respond, she makes very clear the reason why: she heard what he said and it hurt her. And he's ashamed of it.

Colin hears her call him cruel, and instead of ruffling his feathers about it, instead of getting upset, instead of having a chip on his shoulder as I feel so many men would about it. . .he understands why she does so.

Penelope is a woman who has been largely treated poorly in her society. She feels unheard, she feels undesired, and in her circumstances, and I can't help but ask myself. . .has anyone ever truly apologized to Penelope for hurting her, before? Her mother? Her sisters? Eloise, likely, but. . .anyone else? And the way Colin did? Because of all the characters in the show, Colin? Colin knows how to apologize. He has a lot of practice in it. And very importantly: Colin, a man of privilege in his society, apologizes. . .predominately to women. To Marina, to his mother, and multiple times to Penelope.

Ultimately, Penelope wants to be heard, Penelope wants to be understood, Penelope wants to feel desired.

And Colin checks every single one of those boxes. He informs he is not who he was before, and then he proves it to her. He hears that he hurt her, and he comments on it directly. An entire night apart, and he comes back to her 'Because I embarrass you' with 'I am most certainly not ashamed of you', replies to her 'I am a laughingstock' with 'you are clever, and warm, and I am proud to call you my good friend'. He hears her proclaim her own insecurities, and empathizes so deeply with her. He listens. He understands. He makes clear that he cares for her, and that she *is* desired. 'You lift my spirits' 'I seek you out at every social assembly'. That she helps him see the world in ways he loves, that he sees HER and how much she has cared for HIM, that she makes him feel appreciated, that he appreciates her, in turn.

And then? Then? He shows her. He tells her, and he shows her. His actions all throughout Season 3 reinforce this apology. He continues looking for her in every corner of every ballroom, he continues complimenting her, he laughs at her jokes and respects her boundaries, he is ever so gentle with her, he listens to her with an attentiveness that no one else has ever given her. To Lady Whistledown? Sure. But to Penelope? Who else in the entirety of that ton has listened to Penelope the way Colin has?

Absolutely no one.

Penelope Featherington ghosts Colin Bridgerton for months with no explanation, and Colin comes back wanting to reach out to her, and she finally tells him why.

And he apologizes. Because he listens. Really, truly listens. And really truly cares.

I need you to understand how rare that is, even nowadays, but especially back then. That Colin is the kind of man who can put his hurt to the side and realize he made a mistake, that he said something callous, and he adores her, and he can't lose her, and he has to see her and make it right.

Because that's why Penelope fell for Colin. Not because he's beautiful, not for his charm, not for his family. But for his heart. Because he shows her kindness in a world that so often disregards her. Because he seeks her out and tries to understand her, truly hears what she has to say and compliments her, says he's sorry and looks at things from her perspective.

Because he saw her when she was invisible.

Penelope Featherington, who grew up in a house that made cruel jabs at her, has Colin Bridgerton come to her and say he regrets what he said, and that he was wrong, and that he understands why she's mad at him. Penelope Featherington who has so rarely had much of anyone tell her that they're sorry for what they said about her, sits before Colin Bridgerton as he professes how much she means to him. That he cannot even spend a full day away from her knowing they're on bad terms with each other without making it right. That he sees how she is hurting and he has to in any way he can amend it. She is lonely, with no one really in her corner at the start of season 3, and she feels like she lost it all, and Colin comes to her and says 'no, I'm here and I appreciate you and you are special to me, please let me in and let me prove it'. Is it any wonder why after she shakes his hand, she stands in the sun, and she feels the warmth of it, she can smile? That she can breathe, again? That she can be truly content for the first time in the season?

Because Penelope Featherington does not want Colin to beg. She knows him. She knows the tender, full heart he hides behind the new cavalier persona. She knows the soft underbelly of Colin Bridgerton.

He never had to grovel. All he had to do was love her. Assuredly. Fervently. Loudly. Unapologetically.

And he does.

[birbwell]

my first post of the year obviously has to be my post-trial waleran headcanon, with my oc, his sister Wynflaed :)

i have another post about it but the basics is that he gets exiled from Shiring, becomes a vagrant for a bit on the way to Lincoln and is taken in by his estranged family which run a tailor workshop, becoming the local weird old man(tm).

[scificrows]

I am going over Murderbot's and ART's first interactions again and it's driving me crazy, so I really need to yell into the void about it.

Alright, so we have ART:

ART, a highly advanced deep space research vessel, who is very attached to its crew and seems to generally do what it's supposed to, especially when not doing so could endanger its mission - but ends up accepting a suspicious looking SecUnit that is lying about being a bot aboard itself. ART is evidently aware that it is directly breaking the rules in doing so. (Aside: How often does ART break the rules?) Why? All for that tempting media package that the SecUnit has to offer?

No.

It was sent off to do some work all alone and got bored and lonely. (I think there are different ways to intepret this, but looking at our super social raised-by-humans loving-its-crew never-shutting-up research vessel, I choose to think that is exactly what it was!)

Anyway, what does ART do now that it has this lying, potentially dangerous rogue SecUnit aboard? It

lets it know that it saw right through its lies and knows exactly what it is

intimidates and threatens it by showing off its own ridiculously extensive superiority (just to be on the safe side ofc)

gets bored after the SecUnit gets too scared to do anything interesting

asks the SecUnit to "stop sulking"

learns that the SecUnit has been through A Lot and seemingly understands how it made it feel and apologizes

gets bored again and starts lurking and harasses convinces the SecUnit to watch media about ships and their crews with it

[gets way too invested and agitated by the media, probably going through its first media-induced emotional crises (but gets through them with the support of the very patient SecUnit)]

tries to have a conversation with the SecUnit to get to know it better

gets offended that the SecUnit is not answering truthfully and won't share sensitive and very private information about itself

lets the SecUnit know it can see through its lies, calling it "inherently inferior" to itself and causing the SecUnit to sulkily shut down for four hours (lol)

immediately calls the SecUnit "unnecessarily childish" upon its awakening four hours later (referring to its own extensive experience with children to really get the point across)

And apparently all of this seemed to be a perfectly pleasant and normal interaction to ART, because:

That's how you make friends, isn't it?!

God, I love ART so so so much and this is SO funny to me! To be fair, I don't think anyone ever really prepared it for an interaction like this. (Probably because its crew did not expect it to pick up a stray rogue SecUnit and try to befriend it).

Bonus:

[lunarharp]

revamped looong mermaid orufrey au :')

[disposal-blueeee]

doodles

edgar vargas and squee by johnen vasquez

scriabin by zarla-s