#BeetlelandsWeek2020

[beetlelandsweek]

is it possible to do another beetlelands week for 2023? im dying here. if not i will honest to god use the 2020 prompts :)

Hi,

There's been no discussion about another Beetlelands Week as far as I'm aware. The last I had heard, the one in 2020 was going to be the only one. But feel free to use the prompts that already exist! It's always nice to have more Beetlelands art, even if the event isn't happening🖤🤍💚

[upperstories]

Beetlelands Week 2020, Prompt 7: Free Day

Lawrence Bernard-Joshua Deetz is New England’s leading (and only) Psychic for Hire, specializing in seances, communing with deceased family members, exorcisms, and basically whatever else a man glean from a decade-useless Bachelor of Performing Arts.

But when he finds the new home his recently-widowed Uncle Charles is “haunted”, it’ll take more than a fake possession act and spiritual scepticism to worm his way out of this mess.

((IM A COUPLE HOURS LATE BUT I DID IT!!! My final piece for Beetlelands Week is a role-swap au! I originally made concepts for this au waaaaay back in 2019, so I went back and touched it up a little! I might post more later if anyone is interested in more content? But for now I rest! So much art in one week.... @@))

[paperpaperowl]

I’m so late for @beetlelandsweek but time does whoosh by when you’re dead...

Here is “Day One: one bed” ... a hammock totally counts right?

[marquisedemasque]

LAST DAY OF BEETLELANDS WEEK

There has been so much lovely work posted over the past 7 days and you have all been wonderful

For my last piece I present DnD night.

Barbara plays a half orc paladin, Beej is a human bard, and Adam is a dragonborn druid, and yes, their characters are all married to each other.

Lydia is naturally, the gm

[froggednb]

*arrives late to Beetlelands week*

[hawaiian-has-moved]

Day Five: Wedding

Beej is having the time of his afterlife, finally being wed to his two favorite ghosts. Though he is not exactly alive this time around, he feels and looks more alive than he has in his entire afterlife.

I went around, researched, and received feedback for this post so that I could do the culture justice. This piece went through many revisions to get to this result. I wanted to keep with my theme of the cartoon’s style, but I did not want to make it seem as if I were making mockery of Jewish culture. The end result became true to my goal, and also was accompanied by a lovely story. I hope everyone else likes it as much as I do. Adam and Barb’s outfits are also loosely based off of the wedding outfits of their movie counterparts. I tried to bring a lot of elements into this piece. :> @beetlelandsweek 

[daydreaming-jessi]

Day 1: One bed

It’s time

I might’ve strayed a little bit from the prompt, but you know what, whatever. Anyways, there’s also a short story to go with thus under the cut. Enjoy!

Barbara stepped through the privacy curtains hung up to keep their bedroom private from the rest of the attic, freshened up and ready to sleep for the night, and smiled upon seeing that two people were waiting for her, rather than the usual one. Beetlejuice had been jumpy about staying the night with them, instead often opting to retreat to his own bedroom down on the second floor when the two ghosts began to consider turning in for the night. It took a lot on Adam and Barbara’s part to remind the demon that they in fact did enjoy his company and would love to spend a night with him and that he did have permission to stay if he’d liked. So it was cause to pause and appreciate the times when Beetlejuice seemed brave enough to stay and sleep with them for the night. It helped that the demon was adorably clinging onto Adam’s leg in some strange form of cuddling, his green hair bristling over Adam’s arm curled around his back.

“You know, I don’t think one bed is gonna be big enough for the three of us in the long run,” Barbara hummed, eyeing the way Beetlejuice’s back hung over the side of the bed.

Adam looked up from his book with a chuckle. “Yeah, I’m a little scared to let him go,” he wiggled his hand resting between Beetlejuice’s shoulder blades, which really did seem to be the only thing keeping the demon on the bed still.

Beetlejuice snuffled, burrowing his head deeper into Adam’s side with a sigh. Adam looked down to him with a wide, loving grin while Barbara pressed her hands to her mouth to keep her adoring squeak from escaping. She tiptoed over to the two, hovering above Beetlejuice for a moment as she studied the sleeping demon. He looked decades younger without a manic grin stretching across his face, his round cheeks looking oh-so pinchable. Barbara resisted that urge, instead placing a gentle kiss on Beetlejuice’s head, his hair smelling faintly of fallen leaves in autumn, a scent that seemed to stay no matter how much he showered.

He stiffened, and Barbara and Adam froze. Beetlejuice cracked an eye open and shot Barbara a half-heartedly annoyed, one eyed glare. “Sorry, Bee. Just couldn’t resist,” Barbara smiled apologetically.

Beetlejuice burrowed deeper into bed, his hair flushing pink. “You stop that. ‘M too tired for that adorable shit,” sleep slurred his speech, but his grip on Adam’s leg tightened with no problem. A third arm and leg appeared, wrapping further around Adam.

The ghost couple giggled at that. “Alright I’ll leave you be,” Barbara promised, turning her gaze on Adam. Before he could realize that he was being watched, Barbara launched a multitude of feather light kisses on Adam’s cheek, making him gasp and wriggle away from the tickling brush of lips while trying to stifle his laughter.

Unfortunately, in his bid to get away, Adam forgot that he was the one keeping gravity from fully affecting Beetlejuice. With a yelp, Beetlejuice unexpectedly tumbled off the bed, hitting the floor with a heavy thump. Barbara gasped and immediately crouched to the demon’s side, checking him over for injury.

Adam practically tossed his book aside in his haste to hurry down to the two, panic filling his eyes. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry! I’m so, so, so sorry, I completely forgot, I got so caught up, I didn’t think-“ he said, his hands helplessly fluttering over Beetlejuice, who lay on the floor looking like a ruffled cat.

Beetlejuice lurched up into a sitting position, his head twisted at an awkward angle that would be worrying if he were alive. He grabbed the sides of his head and cracked his neck bones back into place with a loud snap, making the ghost couple flinch back, now certain that they’d just ruined their night and had fully insulted Beetlejuice. “Not the worst way I’d been kicked out of bed before, I’ll admit. One time ended with me being kicked out the window and ending up impaled on the bird spikes on their wall. Now those take forever to pull out, lemme tell ya,” he shrugged.

“No, no! I did not mean it like that, I’m so sorry, Bee, I-“ a new surge of apologies burst from Adam, but before he could continue babbling, Beetlejuice leaned forward and silenced Adam with a long, drawn out kiss.

“You are adorable,” Beetlejuice snickered when he pulled away, leaving Adam gaping red faced, his eyes owlishly peering out from his crooked reading glasses. Beetlejuice then sleepily slumped into Barbara, nuzzling her exposed neck.

Barbara wrapped her arms around the demon in return, the earlier tension leaving the air. “Sorry Bee, I forgot how ticklish Adam gets,” Barbara said, running a hand through Beetlejuice’s green hair. He basically purred from her petting.

“Stop apologizing, nerds. You can make it up to Daddy later,” Beetlejuice smirked salaciously, his eyebrows bouncing up and down pointedly.

Barbara shot him a pointed look. “You just fell off the bed, and you think it can fit us all for that?”

“I would be too worried about knocking you off again to think about that,” Adam agreed, leaning back against the bed while his shoulders unwound with relief.

“Then we get creative! The roof is pretty cozy, Scarecrow and I have found the perfect spot for hiding out and throwing rocks at cars up there, after all,” Beetlejuice replied.

“First off, we’re going to have a talk about how dangerous that is in the morning with Lydia, secondly, we are not having sex on the roof of all places,” Barbara said.

“Why not? It’s not like anyone can see us. Public sex is hot when you’re a ghost and don’t have to worry about being caught,” Beetlejuice pouted.

“We have a perfectly good, flat bed right here. We just need to… expand it,” Adam patted their mattress thoughtfully. He seemed to already be thinking up new ideas for their future bed frame, his eyes growing distant as he worked out measurements in his head.

“Though I don’t know how we’ll get a bigger mattress up here,” Barbara hummed thoughtfully.

“Oh my god, you guys are such nerds. We were so close to an orgy and now you’ve ruined the mood with all your weird domestic bed talk, it’s like being boring is a lifestyle fetish for you two,” Beetlejuice groaned, flopping back onto the floor. Barbara and Adam exchanged an amused look. Despite his words, Beetlejuice’s hair had turned a lovely mix of green, pink, and magenta.

“Well, if that’s the case, then let’s go ahead and call it a night. C’mon Bug,” Barbara patted Beetlejuice’s hip twice before getting up to her feet, crawling over the bed to her preferred side.

Adam stood after, and Beetlejuice simply appeared next to Barbara, smack dab in the middle. He shot the ghosts a smirk, as if he were causing some kind of trouble. The smirk promptly disappeared when Adam easily slid into bed next to him, pulling the covers up over them. “Definitely need a bigger bed,” Adam noted, eyeing how close they had to squish together to fit.

“We’ll figure it out tomorrow,” Barbara yawned. She nestled closer to Beetlejuice, and slid her arms around his torso. “This okay?” She asked.

“Uh… h-hold on,” Beetlejuice stammered, the slightest tint of color emerging on his cheeks. He eyed the second pillow Adam had been using for a backrest earlier and pulled it under the covers with him, clutching it tightly against his middle. He settled under the covers, his eyes stubbornly fixed on the sheets as he readjusted for a moment. Then, quietly, so quietly only the dead could hear, he whispered, “Makes me feel safer…”

“You don’t have to explain, Bee,” Adam reassured the demon, Barbara nodding in agreement. Adam stretched out, encircling his partners with his arms, pulling them closer together still. “Good?” He checked.

Barbara carefully wiggled a hand around Beetlejuice to intertwine her fingers with Adam’s and nodded. “Yup.”

Beetlejuice’s eyes darted between the two before he slowly moved one arm away from the pillow, turned onto his side and wrapped it around Adam’s waist. Then a third arm appeared from… somewhere on his person and curled around Barbara’s. “It’s weird, but… it’s nice,” he mumbled. Barbara buried her face into Beetlejuice’s hair, and he could feel her wide smile.

“It is,” she agreed, relaxing further.

Adam looked over the two before him with such loving eyes, all Beetlejuice could do was duck his face into Adam’s dorky flannel shirt to avoid that overwhelming green gaze. “You two still owe me make-up sex. All these tropey ‘there was only one bed’ shenanigans aren’t gonna get you outta that,” he huffed.

“Course,” Barbara hummed.

“We will definitely christen the new bed when we get it ready,” Adam pressed a kiss to Beetlejuice’s forehead.

That made the demon purr. “Oh, I will be doing so much more to you than christening some damn bed when the time comes. Trust me.” Even with the sleep weighing their bodies, Adam and Barbara still felt a shiver of excitement run down their spines at the baritone hum Beetlejuice’s voice reached. “Alright, good night!” Beetlejuice gleefully chirped, closing his eyes.

“Bee! You tease!” Barbara squealed.

“You can’t just do that when we’re trying to sleep!” Adam said, his hips shifting away unconsciously.

Beetlejuice grinned wider, hugging the pillow tighter to his chest. “Now we’re even! Sweet dreams!”

The lamp then clicked off, leaving the room dim, save for a weak filtering of moonlight in the windows. The ghosts settled in, their legs tangling together in one final act to be as close as possible to one another as they finally started to sleep.

[chrisdoesanart]

Day 2: Date Night

They on a picnic! :0

He do be serenading them 💖

[bucketjoke]

Beetlelands Week 2020 - Prompt 1: One Bed

[beetlelandsweek]

The mod team is excited to announce the official dates for the very first Beetlelands Week!

💜 💚 Beetlelands Week 2020 💚 💜

September 6 to September 12

Day 1: One Bed

Day 2: Datenight

Day 3: Hurt and Comfort

Day 4: Demons and Angels

Day 4: Wedding

Day 6: Parenting

Day 7: Free Day

Don’t forget to read our rules first before participating and have fun!!

This amazing art was made by the amazing and talented @thespacehatter !! Go and check them out!!

- Blue Mod

[upperstories]

Beetlelands Week 2020, Prompt 2: Date Night

What’s more romantic than being serenaded on a private boat ride across the scenic River Styx? Just be sure to watch out for high tide, wayward spirits, and spiders of course.

[laurawritesandgames]

Title: The Children We Never Had

Fandom: Beetlejuice (Musical)

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Beetlejuice/Barbara/Adam

Prompt: Hurt/Comfort

Content Warning: References to miscarriages and abortion

Summary: As Delia and Charles prepare to start their family together, Barbara reflects on her chance to have her own children. What once seemed so simple can become much more complicated when you’re a ghost....

Delia and Charles had just completed the first round of IVF treatments. Delia was fanatic about getting all toxins out of the house, so one Saturday the Maitlands, Beetlejuice and Lydia were helping Delia get rid of any plastic containers in the kitchen, to be replaced with glass containers.

“Why is there so much Tupperware?” Delia exclaimed.

“One of Mom’s friends sold Tupperware, and we had a few parties,” Lydia said. “Mom was sick for years. If she’d been able to keep up with the science, I doubt she would’ve kept them. She was nuts about the environment.” Lydia frowned thoughtfully. “Say, Delia, what exactly are your thoughts on vaccines?”

Barbara and Adam shared a look. They knew from the Maitland-Deetz’s biweekly parenting meetings that Delia had anti-vaxxer tendencies. She was, at least, open to a respectful discussion about vaccines. Give Charles a few conversations and she’d probably give in to science and reason—the newlyweds were crazy for each other.

Not that Lydia had any of that context.

“I’m just not convinced vaccines are necessary. I have some very interesting websites I can show you later, Lydia. There’s a lot of doubt about the so-called ‘science’ that Big Pharma doesn’t want you to see.”

Lydia’s lip curled in the disgust.

“Are you an idiot?!” Beetlejuice said. “I lived in a world without vaccines. It was shit!”

“I just don’t know if I’m willing to take that risk,” Delia said, with her polite, argument-deflecting smile. Adam’s parents had been masters at avoiding conflict, so Barbara knew what would happen next. She’d say something light or silly and try to get everyone focused on the kitchen again.  

“I should draw a door and bring you to the Netherworld, Delia. Give you a tour of Diaper Town so you can see all the dead babies that’re there from before childhood vaccines were a thing.”

“Diaper Town?” Lydia asked.

“Eh, that’s not the real name—just what we called it. Where the dead babies go. Ugh! I had a shift in Diaper Town for a few decades. It was the worst.”

“I imagine they look like they did when they died,” Lydia said, thoughtfully.

“And they never age! That’s the only reason people hang around babies—because they eventually become not-babies.”

“What about miscarriages? Mom had a few before me. Is there going to be a clump of Deetz cells in the Netherworld?”

Barbara reached out for Adam’s hand and found it within seconds. (He’d been across the room a second ago. He must have teleported.) She clenched it. Hard. 

Beetlejuice didn’t notice.

As a ghost, you were always cold. Barbara couldn’t get colder. She also couldn’t swallow to try to wet a dry mouth. Her hands wouldn’t grow cold and prickly with shock. Her emotions were completely disconnected from bodily sensations. She could feel Adam behind her and leaned back into him slightly. Not that he made her feel warmer. Nothing ever would.

If she’d been alive, she might’ve looked like Delia: her face pale as she forced a too-wide smile onto her face. “Let’s all talk about something else, shall we? I don’t want any bad vibes.” Her hand rested on her stomach. During one of their parenting meetings, she’d mentioned she only had a few eggs left. “Not—not right now.”

Lydia glared at her. “Seriously? Hearing about a dead woman’s fertility issues isn’t going to hurt your fetus.”

“The Deetus,” Beetlejuice added. “Deetz fetus. Get it?”

Lydia ignored him. “Bad vibes aren’t a thing!”

“We’ll agree to disagree on that one.” Delia hurried out of the kitchen. “Would anyone mind a smudging ceremony? Just to clear the air and usher in tranquility?”

Lydia followed with a shriek of rage. “’Smudging ceremony’? Are you from an Indigenous tribe, Delia? Because if you’re not, that’s major cultural appropriation!”

“Ooo, cultural appropriation! I know that one!” Beetlejuice said, delighted. When he’d first come back from the Netherworld, the Maitlands had held a few sensitivity seminars for him so he could stop getting into arguments with Lydia. Beetlejuice’s views were a weird mix of surprisingly progressive and incredibly archaic. “It’s a culture, not a costume!” He floated over to Barbara and Adam. “Did I do that right? Do I get a kiss?”

It took a lot of effort to focus on Beetlejuice right now. “Sorry,” Barbara said. “We’re not going to reward you for being a decent person. But thank you for trying.”

Beetlejuice huffed in disappointment.

Adam cleared his throat. Barbara glanced at him. Adam tilted his head slightly at Beetlejuice, raising his eyebrows questioningly. He was asking her for permission to tell Beetlejuice. After a moment’s thought, Barbara nodded. Beetlejuice liked to keep things light, but he was their boyfriend, after all. He should learn a bit more about Barbara and Adam.

“What happens to children who died before they were born?” Adam asked quietly.

Beetlejuice shrugged. “I dunno. I was born dead in one of the original versions of the musical, but it ain’t canon. There aren’t any fetuses floating around the Netherworld. Maybe they go someplace else?” He shrugged, spreading his hands. “I got nothing.” 

Out of habit (not because she actually needed to breathe), Barbara sighed in relief. Thank God, was her first thought, despite having a pretty good idea that God didn’t exist. She let of of Adam’s hand, giving him a small smile.

“Why do you wanna know?” Beetlejuice asked.

Barbara shared another look with Adam before saying, “When I was 22, I got pregnant.” She cleared her throat. She hadn’t talked about this in years.

Beetlejuice didn’t like silences. Immediately, he said, “Quit pulling my leg. If you were pregnant, then where’s your—”

It took a few moments, but his eyes finally widened and his jaw dropped. “Oh. Ohhhh. I didn’t think…” His hands began flapping, then running up and down his sleeves and fiddling with his cuffs. “So we’re bringing in some of the movie backstory. Okay. Okay. Sure.”

“The what?” Adam asked.

“Nevermind. So you guys had a miscarriage.”

“An abortion, actually,” Barbara said.

Beetlejuice stopped bobbing faintly, freezing in mid-air. His voice rose in pitch as he said, “I saw the tags on this fic and I assumed you’d be hurt/comforting me! I’m the one with all the issues! Who the hell told you that you guys could have issues?!” 

“What now?” Barbara said, forcing her tone to stay even. 

“And also, our lives weren’t perfect,” Adam said. “I just want to remind you that both of my parents are dead. So…yeah. When we were alive, we had struggles and challenges like everybody else.”

Beetlejuice began coughing. He stuck his fingers in his mouth, eventually pulling out a foot and tossing it on the ground. (Barbara had learned not to ask whose foot.) “Um. Can I try again?”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “Feel free.”

Beetlejuice opened and closed his mouth a few times, but didn’t say anything.

Adam said, “Just so you know, Bug, this isn’t something to share.” Beetlejuice was a compulsive oversharer; they’d learned to explicitly tell him what was appropriate and what wasn’t.

“It’s not because we’re ashamed,” Barbara said quickly. “It’s just our story to tell, that’s all.”

“Right! I can do that.” He focused on something in the middle distance. “Although maybe some people could really examine their need to inject complicated real-world issues into a stupid five-page fic for Beetlelands Week. Not every fandom and every fic can bear that weight! And some characters definitely aren’t designed to deal with shit like this! They’re awesome Deadpool-style badasses and not…not…whatever this needs!”

Barbara loved Beetlejuce, but he was getting on her last nerve. I didn’t think he’d completely disassociate like this. It’s only a goddamn abortion. He didn’t even have to deal with anything! “Well, I’m sorry my and Adam’s history is such an inconvenience for you. I’m going to go find something to do. If you want to talk when you’re not spiraling and doing whatever this is, come find me.”

Barbara teleported to their bedroom, the Deetzes’ former guest room, upstairs, and Adam teleported with her.

Tears wavered in his eyes. Startled, she held him, stroking his back.

“Sorry,” he murmured.

“No, don’t be.”

He sniffled a few times, wiping his tears away. Their ghostly bodies still remembered how to produce tears, and if Beetlejuice was any indication, that memory would stick with them for centuries. He whispered, “We would’ve had a child. If it weren’t for me—”

Adam had always felt needless guilt about mentioning the abortion first. She’d thought he’d gotten over it. “You didn’t force me. We had student loans, the recession had just hit the year before, we couldn’t find work, and most importantly? We weren’t ready. We were barely ready 10 years later, when we had a house and good jobs.”

He smiled sadly, wiping the tears from his eyes. “Sorry. I don’t know where this is coming from.” He stroked her cheek. “I’m here for you. Whatever you need.”

She blinked. “I’m…fine? I’ve been fine for 10 years.” She hadn’t been fine immediately before and after the abortion. There’d been lots of crying, praying, and long conversations, but that had been a long time ago. Gently, she asked, “I thought you were, too. Was I wrong?”

When did we really talk about it except immediately after? Barbara couldn’t recall.

Adam gave her that same distracted smile he used to give her after his parents’ funeral. He was a brave little soldier, marching forward. “You weren’t wrong. I’m fine.”

You didn’t push when you saw that smile. “I think I’m going to read something. Want to join me?”

“I wouldn’t mind working on the model a bit more. Call me if you need anything.”

“I will.” She kissed his cheek, and he went up to the attic to work on his model of Winter River.

She was choosing between Michelle Obama’s biography a polyamory how-to guide when a spider skittered underneath the door. The spider climbed up the wall then began spinning a web in the corner of the room at unnatural speed. Letters appeared in the web.

SORRY

I WAS A BAD BOYFRIEND

It’s a Charlotte’s Web homage, Barbara realized. She’d loved that book as a child. He remembered. “Apology accepted, Beetlejuice.”

He knocked on the door. Opening it revealed him reading from index cards. Delia, who was using her life coach skills to help Beetlejuice adjust to being part of the family, had encouraged him to write down important things.

“I should have reacted a lot better than I did,” Beetlejuice read. “You and Adam trusted me with with a part of your lives, and I should have liz—lizden? Shit, I’m bad at spelling.” He looked up from the cards, rocking back and forth on his feet. “Anyway, thanks for trusting me, baby. Sorry I was being a dick about it. You and Adam having an—an abortion had nothing to do with me or my feelings.”

Beetlejuice could talk about the filthiest sex acts and talk about rotting corpses without flinching, but now he was stumbling. Interesting. “Well, ‘we had an abortion’ might’ve been a lot to throw at you. We could’ve prepared you better.” She nodded him inside, and he floated in. She closed the door behind her. “I imagine abortions weren’t really talked about in your day.”

“Well, we thought ladies’ wombs wandered around their bodies, so…no.”

“Do you have any questions?”

“Um…are you okay?” He fidgeted. “You’re all…y’know, motherly and shit. Are you sad about having an abortion?”

“No. I mean, I don’t love that I needed it. Adam and I were a lot more careful making love after that, believe me. But Adam and my family had my back, and luckily I live in a state where I can access an abortion easily. I also found some forums, and chatting with people who’d also had abortions helped me feel less alone. Honestly, until Lydia brought up miscarriages today, I hadn’t thought about my abortion in years.” Feeling awkward, she chuckled. “Um, really glad I won’t have to deal with a clump of cells following me around in the Netherworld, though.”

She felt a twinge of guilt for not feeling guiltier. Her Good Christian Girl upbringing still reared its head now and then. But I did what was best for my family at the time. That’s all anyone can do. If I’d known Adam and I were going to die 10 years later, we might’ve done things differently, but how could we have known that?

“So, that’s my story. I was supported and very lucky. I’m not sad or guilty or anything.” She frowned. “Adam might be, though. He was strangely upset.” Did I do something wrong? Has he been suffering for years without me noticing? “He’s upstairs working on the model again.”

“I’ll cheer him up!” Beetlejuice said. He clapped his hands together. “It’s hurt/comfort. Time to be goddamn comforted, Adam.”

“I’d give him a few hours.” Adam was a brooder. There was a certain point where he just wouldn’t engage.

Beetlejuice chuckled, patting her smarmily on the head. “Your boring, married-couple rules don’t apply to me, Babs. I’mma shake things up and heal his wounded heart. You can come up and watch, if you want. Watch me win.”

Barbara made herself laugh as she tried to ignore her jealousy. Beetlejuice was just being his usual low-grade dickish self, but what if he was right? Maybe Adam will respond better to Beetlejuice than to me. I didn’t expect Adam to be this sad, after all. What else have I missed? “If you succeed, feel free to come back and give me a play-by-play of your victory.”

Beetlejuice poofed away, and Barbara picked up the how-to guide to polyamory. It couldn’t help to get a refresher.

If Beetlejuice made Adam feel better, then that was a win for everyone. She could ask him how he’d done it and learn from him. The entire point of dating Beetlejuice was to break out of their old patterns and add a little excitement to their afterlives.  

Barbara was lying down on their bed, reading the first chapter when Beetlejuice teleported back in.

“You mighta been right,” he grumbled.

“It’s almost like I’ve been dating him since I was 16.”

“Of course you were high school sweethearts. You two are so cliché, I blocked that out.” Beetlejuice floated closer, whining, “Sexy raised his voice to me, Barbara!”

Barbara set the book down. “Oh, I’m sorry, Bug.” That was the Adam equivalent of full-blown shouting. (Adam had shouted at Beetlejuice before, of course, but that was when Beetlejuice had been a villain.)

“Me! The favourite!”

Barbara raised her eyebrows. “Maybe you should read this chapter with me about egalitarian polyamorous relationships—and how terms like ‘favourite’ are toxic.”

Beetlejuice floated away from her. “Mmm, nope, too many things to do.”

She’d expected that. It wasn’t clear when Beetlejuice had died, but it was definitely before therapy and couple’s counselling had become more mainstream. He didn’t have the same ability to talk about and reflect on his and other’s feelings that Barbara and Adam had. Usually, he just reacted to his own. Barbara wouldn’t have gotten into a relationship with Beetlejuice if she’d been unwilling to teach him.

“Lemme know when he’s ready to talk, okay?” the demon continued.

“Well, I don’t have a psychic link to him, but I’ll try…if you read this chapter with me.”

Beetlejuice crossed his arms over his chest, harrumphing. After a few moments, he shrugged, floated over to the bed, and curled up beside her.

If her eyes could water, they might have at the smell of rotting flesh. But Barbara quickly got used to the smell. “Let me guess—your clones poked around and didn’t find anything else interesting happening right now?”

“Ha! Busted! Delia, Lydia and Charles are still arguing about vaccines. Yap, yap, yap, yap, yap. Making out with you is way more fun.”

“We’re learning how to have a more equitable, communicative relationship. Not making out.”

“We’ll see, baby.”

*

They approached Adam later that afternoon.              

He looked up from a figurine he was painting, expression guilty. “I’ll come down when it’s time for dinner, okay?” he said quietly. “Don’t worry about me.”

“Is there anything we can do for you now?” Barbara asked.

He looked between Barbara and Beetlejuice. His eyes were so haunted…. Barbara took a few steps forward.

“Adam?” she said softly.

“You said we weren’t ready,” he murmured roughly. “What if we would’ve been? We never even gave ourselves the chance….”

He showed her what he’d been working on: a little child figurine with her blonde hair. “There would’ve been part of you and me living now. Someone with your hair and my eyes, or your smile….”

Okay. We haven’t talked about the abortion in years, and now he’s making a model of what would have become our child. So, this is new. But I can handle this. I know him. I’ve got this.

Nevertheless, a tiny part of her really wanted to tag out and let Beetlejuice handle this one. Not that he would’ve done well—he was frozen except for his eyes, frantically flicking between her and Adam.

While Barbara thought of the most empathetic, respectful way to respond, Beetlejuice blurted out, “Someone’s got a case of the Shouldas.”

“Hmm?” Adam grunted, looking uninterested.

“You know, shoulda done this when I was alive. Shoulda done that. Every newlydead goes through it. Of course, usually they’re stuck in an endless void and not chilling in the living world with their sexy boyfriend.” Beetlejuice nodded to Barbara. “And your sexy wife.”

So he had learned something from that chapter they’d read together. Barbara gave him a small smile. “How do newlydeads usually get through it?” she asked.

“‘Get through’ is real optimistic, Babs. They just get crushed by overwhelming despair and hopelessness. It’s the Netherworld. Everything sucks there.”

Adam grunted again.

Beetlejuice rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, I can’t really talk about ‘healing’ and shit….” He gestured frantically for Barbara to do something.

One thing about spending so much time with Beetlejuice was that you got used to out-of-the box thinking. It was time for a little experiment. Barbara didn’t give herself time to think, and dove right in.

“Congratulations, Maitlands.” She made air horn noises. The words ‘The Life We Never Had’ appeared in bright text above the model town. “Welcome to your life where you had your child!”

Adam and Beetlejuice both stared at her in stunned silence.

“This got so dark, so fast, but I kinda love it,” Beetlejuice commented.

“Well,” she said, “first of all, forget this house. We’d probably be living with your parents. They don’t even live in town.” She took a few moments to create a mental map, then gestured at the model. It grew larger, to the surrounding counties. Adam’s family farm was on the outskirts of this new map.

“And forget the CPA degree. No way we can afford that now. But your uncle Eddy has that plumbing business. He’d probably give you a job.” She manifested Eddy’s truck, making it drive through town. “I’d probably knit and sell things on Etsy…. Wait, it’s 2010. Does Etsy even exist?” Barbara couldn’t remember. “Or I’d sell them at the local farmer’s market. We probably still love our projects, even if we don’t have as much time for them now.”

Barbara could’ve gone darker. In this future, she would’ve been stuck in Adam’s parents’ home with no career prospects and a baby she wasn’t sure she wanted. If anything was a recipe for postpartum depression, that would’ve been. But she kept it light.

“Oh, jeez,” she realized, “I forgot all about names! What do you think of Aspen?” Barbara had always wanted a nature-themed name.

“It has the word ‘Ass’ in it,” Beetlejuice complained. “Do you want bullies to give your kid swirlies?”

“You’re not here, mister. You don’t get a say.”

“Hey, that’s right! We never meet if you don’t move into the house.” Beetlejuice frowned. “Truly, this is the darkest timeline.”

“What about River?” Adam said. “For our child.”

“River. That’s beautiful. Okay, so little River goes to school here.” She gestured to the school in town. “What do you think? Good grades?”

“Of course.”

“And then you guys commit crimes!” Beetlejuice interrupted.

Barbara raised her eyebrows.

“What? Boring people commit crimes all the time and become awesome. Weeds? Breaking Bad?”

“I’m pretty sure we wouldn’t.”

“Argh, fine, I was just getting bored of all this slice-of-life shit. Let’s spice things up!”

“Ooo, maybe we solve crimes? Like a cozy mystery set in rural Connecticut.”

“Committing them is way more fun, but I’ll take anything at this point. Your ideal lives are so boring! River’s gonna do meth just to feel alive!”

“They might fall in with a bad crowd in high school,” Barbara said.

“Thank you! A little conflict, please. It’s the essence of drama!”

“But we’d be there for them,” Adam said. “Hmm. Mom and Dad would still die, I suppose. I’d probably disappoint my Maitland ancestors and sell the farm.”

Barbara watched him intently. He wasn’t smiling, but he seemed a bit more engaged than he had been.

“We could move into one of the homes here,” she suggested, nodding to one of the small houses on the outside of town.

“That’s gonna really suck for you when the zombies attack,” Beetlejuice said.

Barbara kept making up their fake life, with Adam chiming in every now and then, both of them trying to ignore Beetlejuice’s input. They tried to give River a nice life, with a full-ride scholarship to NYU (which was, coincidentally, Lydia’s dream school), lots of friends, and a home that may not be full of money but was full of love.

Eventually, Adam smiled and shook his head. “Thanks for playing dolls with me, guys.”

Barbara hugged him from behind. “If you need time to mourn, take all the time you need. Beetlejuice and I are here for you.”

Adam wiped some tears from his eyes. “I think I do. Sorry, sweetie. Sometimes all the things we never got to do…they just hit me, hard. Even things I’d made peace with long ago. I spent so much of my life worrying….”

Barbara moved to stand beside him, kissing his cheek. If she could’ve made him feel warm, she would have.

Beetlejuice was spaced out, staring into the middle distance. Thinking of his own Shouldas, maybe? Nah. He never looks back unless he’s trapped in a traumatic memory about his mother. Probably wondering when we can make out again.

She nodded him over, and he blinked, coming back to the present. Hesitantly, he floated over and rested his chin on Adam’s head.

They were both still and silent, two things Beetlejuice hated, so it wasn’t surprising when a horde of centipedes skittered across the model, or a tiny King Kong grabbed a figurine and climbed up to the top of the town bell tower, roaring.

Lydia interrupted them when she she poked her head into the attic and told them dinner was ready. “And the leftovers will be stored in glass containers—if you leave us any leftovers, Beej. Delia cleared the cupboard of all plastics. Don’t worry about the baby, either. If Delia continues to believe tea tree oil can cure pneumonia or whatever, Dad and I will get the kid vaccinated when she’s not around.”

Barbara smiled at her chosen daughter. Beetlejuice was right; they weren’t stuck in the lonely void of the Netherworld. There was life and family just downstairs. “I’m glad. But I’m sure we’ll be able to convince her otherwise. We have nine months.”

“You’re more optimistic than I am, Barbara.”

Adam put the River figurine with the smattering of other children outside the grade school. “Let’s go,” he said quietly.

The three of them followed Lydia to the dinner table.

[marquisedemasque]

A WEDDING A WEDDING WE’RE GONNA HAVE A WEDDING!!!!!

[agentreptile]

didn't have my sketchbook so had to draw on my phone :<

but day 1-one bed for @beetlelandsweek !

[hawaiian-has-moved]

Day Four: Demons and Angels

Two angels on his shoulder and he's still a hell of a trouble maker.

@beetlelandsweek

[daydreaming-jessi]

Day seven: free day

The final beetlelands week piece, made it just in time. Here’s to many more!

It was a bit of an atypical day. Sandy had, for homesickness related reasons, brought a metric ton of Saturn sand to the backyard of the Deetz-Maitland home. Lydia wanted to keep it, because it was sand from Saturn, but the sand had to be taken care of lest it ruin their hard worked upon garden. Adam volunteered to help clean it up while Barbara and Beetlejuice elected to stay in and do some spring cleaning in the attic. Well, Barbara was doing spring cleaning.

Beetlejuice, however, seemed to be determined to distract Barbara from said cleaning. “Babs. Hey. Hey Barbara. Ba-arb, look!”

Barbara blew a distracting strand of hair out of her face, carefully wiping dust off the coffee table while Beetlejuice continuously tried to vocally prod her from the couch. She smiled triumphantly at the pock marks being successfully wiped away. It’s taken her quite a few tries to successfully put proper pressure on the cleaning cloth, but with some practice, it was getting much easier to do.

Suddenly arms wrapped around her hips, startling Barbara into dropping the cloth. She hadn’t even heard Beetlejuice get off the couch. “Bee, I’m trying to clean here. If you’re gonna distract me, then go do something else,” she huffed, twisting her head to glare at the demon grinning up at her.

“But Barbara, I wanna cuddle,” Beetlejuice crowed, yanking them both side to side. He batted his eyes adorably, in the way he knew that Barbara had a hard time resisting.

“We could cuddle sooner if you helped me clean up in here,” Barbara replied steadily, raising an unimpressed eyebrow.

“You and Adam are such neat freaks. What’s wrong with a few decorative cobwebs? Makes it feel homey in here,” Beetlejuice finally let her go to float backwards into a corner of the attic where a home of spiderwebs lay.

Barbara jolted at the sight of the webs. “Because it shows other people we don’t care about our home!” She said, coming over with a new dust cloth to clean the silk up. Beetlejuice stayed stubbornly in place, forcing Barbara to try and reach around his body. She was quickly stopped by a second pair of arms sprouting out from Beetlejuice, grabbing her hands and spinning her.

“A, who is gonna come see our attic, and dos, who cares what other people think? All that matters is that we look creepy and have an excellent aesthetic,” Beetlejuice said, moving to spin Barbara around the attic. She couldn’t help but giggle at the impromptu dance, partially glad for the distraction.

Cleaning the attic wasn’t exactly necessary, Barbara and Adam usually kept it well maintained, and even Beetlejuice kept from tossing things wherever he pleased for them, but Barbara had been drilled by her parents to always keep her home spotless. She didn’t keep to the part that the task was only a woman’s job, she and Adam shared the work equally, as one should, but it was hard to shake off the rest of the teachings.

The two finally stopped their spin in front of the couch, where Beetlejuice swayed back and forth, his eyeballs actually rolling in his eye sockets. Barbara snickered at his antics, but took a step back. “Alright, enough distracting me, you. I still need to sweep under the furniture,” she said.

Beetlejuice leaned backwards with a groan onto the couch, making it creak and sag dangerously. “You literally sweep up here every two days, Babs. There’s not gonna be anything there to sweep,” he pointed out.

Barbara shrugged self consciously. “It’s important to do, in case there is any dust buildup,” she argued.

“Literally, who cares? It’s under furniture, we don’t ever have to deal with it. You know normal people don’t clean attics, right? Chuck and D aren’t, like, expecting you to clean up here, and Adam has sawdust all over his workstation all the time, he ain’t some kind of neatfreak. You’re literally just doing this for nothing,” he pointed out, shooting Barbara a pout.

She tried to think of a counter, but found she had nothing that would satisfy Beetlejuice. “It’s just something I’m gonna do, alright?” She finally said, turning to grab the broom.

Beetlejuice frowned and crossed his arms and legs, looking like a sulking child. “Fi-ine, whatever floats your boat, Barbie.”

Barbara froze, before slowly turning back to Beetlejuice. “What did you just call me?” She asked, her voice strained.

Beetlejuice shot her a strange look, before answering, “Uh, Barbie..?” Barbara’s shoulders rose up, and realization lit up Beetlejuice’s radiation green eyes, and a grin began to stretch across his face. “What, you don’t like it?”

“It’s awful,” Barbara replied flatly, crossing her arms.

“You don’t wanna be called Barbie?” Beetlejuice cooed.

“Why would I wanna be called that dumb dress up doll brand?” Barbara replied, her cheeks blazing red.

“Holy shit, you hate it! That’s hilarious!” Beetlejuice cackled, falling onto his back.

“What’s so funny? I don’t even look like that doll! It doesn’t make sense,” Barbara huffed.

“Oh my god, I am so using this, this is fantastic! You’re so mad!”

Barbara gasped. “Don’t you dare!”

Beetlejuice paused his laughter and shot her an evil grin. “Oh really? Whatcha you gonna do?”

Barbara pointed a finger at him warningly. “I will not hesitate, Lawrie.”

Upon hearing her nickname for him, Beetlejuice’s grin impossibly widened, cracking his jawbones. It was a strange name the ghost couple had come up with, but he loved how warm it made him feel. Beetlejuice raised his hands reassuringly, looking away innocently. “Ok, ok, I’ll be good. No more of that nickname from me,” he said.

Barbara shot him a suspicious look, slowly turning back to her previous task. “Alright…”

“Yup. Not even gonna think of the word, trust me Barbi-“

“That’s it!”

Barbara tackled Beetlejuice on the couch, tucking his legs firmly between her thighs as she sat upon his lap and the air filled with his crackling laughter. She began to dig her fingers into his sides, making the demon jump from the sudden, tickling sensation.

“Weh-! No! No fair, I can’t actually feel your ghost fingers, no!” He wheezed, trying to shove her away.

“I told you, this is just what you get for not listening!” Barbara grinned, using one hand to clamp the demon’s hands above him, her dancing fingers moving from Beetlejuice's expansive belly to his armpits.

“No, stop! Oh my god, stop!” Beetlejuice howled. He managed to wriggle onto his stomach, but found it didn’t help, as she had more access to his neck, and began to kiss it as she dug into his sides, knowing it was just as ticklish as any other spot. “Knock it off, you wraith!” Beetlejuice wheezed, rolling back to his previous position and shoved his feet to press against Barbara’s chest. She giggled, and lurched forward again, her fingers wiggling threateningly towards his sides.

Beetlejuice pushed her back and Barbara found herself hanging against Beetlejuice’s feet above the demon. “Aw, c’mon, that’s not fair!” Barbara laughed, wriggling against Beetlejuice’s surprisingly strong calves.

“I don’t care if it’s fair, I never play fair, Barbie!” Beetlejuice grinned.

Barbara squawked in mock outrage, making grabbing motions at Beetlejuice. “I will get you back for that dumb nickname, you jerk!” She threatened, her smile wider still.

Beetlejuice laughed at how futile her attacks were, watching her for a moment.

Her blond hair was flying around wildly, roughed up from the play fighting, her face was red and she was huffing, slightly out of breath, and her eyes. They were crinkled up with laugh lines, shining brighter than the surface of UY Scuti, bluer than the depths of the ocean, and filled to the brim with care, and they were directed to him. She was laughing so beautifully, filled with adorable snorts and chortles, it made his long dead heart quiver like it was struck with heart attack inducing arrhythmia. He loved these moments, loved how easy and warm they were. Loved that he was never afraid of her and Adam, never had to hide himself from them. He could just lose himself, freely tease them and just enjoy his afterlife. He loved Barbara and Adam so much…

Wait.

Beetlejuice froze, his face falling into one of shock, and Barbara paused upon seeing this. “Lawrie? What’s wrong?” She asked.

Beetlejuice stared at her for a long moment, his hair starting to darken to a gorgeous magenta she’d never seen before. His eyes traced her face, the demon unnerving,h silent, before blinking out of his stupor.

“I love you,” he said, voice breathless.

Barbara froze, staring back at him in shock. He… he said that. He actually said that.

The door opened, causing the two to look up. “You would not believe how much sand a sandworm can carry from Saturn, I’m more dust than ghost right now,” Adam huffed, patting his clothes down as he came in. He looked up and paused upon seeing the scene, before smiling a fond grin.

“What are you two doing now?” He asked, leaning back and crossing his arms. His hair was highlighted with a warm copper tone, dusted a gray-yellow from the Saturn sands, his body framed by the golden sun filtering through the attic windows. His green eyes were twinkling, so fond and happy of the sight before him.

“And I love you,” Beetlejuice said, his voice in awe at the long known realization finally washing over him.

Barbara whipped her head back around to stare wide eyed at a Beetlejuice again, and Adam nearly choked on the sand still built up in his throat.

Beetlejuice seemed to have realized that the room was now silent. His hair became a flustered pink, white and blue. “I-“ he gulped, pale. He’d ruined it, he ruined everything. He went too fast, veered too far off course, he fucked it all up like he always did-

Suddenly Beetlejuice was almost knocked off the couch with an arm full of Barbara. She had his cheeks squished together and was pressing hundreds of kisses to his face. “Love you too, god, I love you too!” She whispered between kisses, reassuring and happy.

They were both enveloped in Adam’s arms as he scrunched into the couch behind Beetlejuice’s back. He pressed a warm, long kiss to Beetlejuice’s ear, grinning widely. “Love you too,” he added, resting his forehead against Beetlejuice’s hair. Barbara chuckled at his long gesture, before looking back to make sure the other colors were gone from Beetlejuice’s hair.

The magenta was back, and the tension was gone. He looked dazed, but there was a huge, drunk grin on Beetlejuice’s face, looking like he’d just been told that hallucinogens were reintroduced to modern medical treatment. “Cool,” he rasped, his voice somehow even more gravelly than before, and his body was lax. He didn’t need to hold onto the Maitlands tight, they were right here, they weren’t leaving. He had all the time in the world to just soak in their softness.