#Because the triggering shit just does not stop in this house and it harms everyone

[downfallofi]

This is like the third major holiday this year where everything was fine until we had a gigantic blowout screaming match in the last hour; and my heart is heavier than even the last few days have been and I wish there was literally anywhere I could go other than here at times.

[yoru-no-seiiki]

https://www.tumblr.com/yoru-no-seiiki/751614308271718400/hii-so-like-ive-been-starving-for-yandere-eren

def something w/ canon eren! but other than that you can could go as wild as u want! :p

god where do i start?? i’ll mostly write for early seasons eren since i refuse to watch the whole thing until i’m done with season one on my quotev book as a motivator but i’ll add some tidbits that i got from other fanfics. go check it (my book) out btw!! it’s called Walk With Me!! (currently on the next chapter which is around 10k words atm huhu)

as always he’s aged up to 18 during enlistment and massive spoilers for those that don’t know the lore/story yet.

MDNI. DDDNE!!

yandere! eren is a force of absolute willpower. he is obsessive, he is protective, and very much goddamn possessive. he needs you, he needs you to need him too if not moreso. he grew up in a very traditional household and expected to be the provider in the family. the least you could do is have him in your thoughts at all times.

if you want max yandere! potential with him, it’s best to have known him even before armin. be close family friends. maybe your parents worked with his dad since marley and were similarly banished (but not turned into mindless titans).

as children he’d always been protective of you. he’d always stick to you like glue. and because of future him’s influence over grisha and essentially your parents, you were arranged to even sleep in the same bed.

but this sort of backfired in the long run cause you saw him as this annoying brother figure that just wouldn’t stop bothering you.

and one day you just blurt out, tired of the suffocation you felt with your friend, with your parents that vehemently kept pushing you two together, of everything in your life that you couldn’t control.

“i wonder what it’s like beyond the walls.”

i feel like armin would still be the true trigger of eren’s obsession with the outside and freedom (after all, he doesn’t give a shit about yours so why and how would you influence him in that area?), but you probably pushed him in terms of the survey corps.

you were dumb at the time. i mean as a kid, who isn’t? so you announced to literally everyone you knew that you planned to join the military and eventually explore the outside world.

you didn’t really understand the concept of death and all but whatever that was, you still thought it would be better than eren’s basically isolating you from anything that moves.

you dont truly understand death until eren kills those intruders in mikasa’s house right in front of you.

you were supposed to help him, but only stood there frozen in fear.

thankfully mikasa awakened just in time, with eren shouting at her to save you.

speaking of mikasa, her true allegiance/ackerman blood thingy is still with eren in this fic but i headcannon that since his first command was to for her to fight for you she also has the same knee jerk reaction for whenever she perceives you’re being harmed.

in anycase, that day ™️ happens and you all start training.

it had already been obvious since you were teens but eren started looking at you from a different angle. the sexual kind.

your lack of contact with other people due to his influence had made you a bit of a pushover, as such he’d often coerce you into sex or other related acts.

i mean, you had to pity him! he never had the opportunity to explore and act on his urges. mans stayed a virgin til he enlisted and he’s pent up. you try to argue that it’s cause he was so hung up on revenge that he’s bitchless but that only leads to him questioning you if you’ve been seeing other people behind his back.

i mean you two were basically together, why would he see other people? don’t tell him that you’ve been … cheating on him? how could you!

so yeah he does the same thing to mikasa (the manipulation not the sex lol) and forces her to guard the two of you during your ‘trysts’ (which is just him, the inexperienced boy rutting into you and getting off while you stood/laid there uncomfortable silence)in addition to basically shutting down whatever feelings she might have brewing for him (poor mikasa dude)

but surprisingly eren is the most lax to you during this time period. despite the literal r*pe, he basically allowed you to roam around and do whatever for a change. frankly, it was mostly cause he had to catch up in terms of training, but also cause his FREEDOM ideal is the strongest during this phase.

anddd depending on your behavior you might get pimped out. only to those that he can trust though. god even jean got a taste of you because he lost a bet. he promptly beats up the man afterwards though.

if you’re more focused on training and acquiesce to his demands (hormones) however you’ll be enjoying the only three years of your life where eren’s presence wasn’t looming like dread of your death by a titan’s hands.

now i can’t vouch for how accurate i can portray later seasons eren but basically he’s the worst in yan levels at that point.

once he can fully utilize his powers there is literally no escape for you, not even his death, unless you have some sort of power that hides your ass. he’d already prepared for everything from your captivity to how your life will be like after his inevitable demise.

like i said before, he’d be the type to give you an illusion of freedom. he hates the idea of being caged and vice versa. so specifically speaking after his death and the end of the series, you’ll go from being stuck in a remote area to being free but with hundreds of armed guards watching your every move. hell maybe even the whole “town/village/city” you live in will all just be paid actors he had staged. he will never let you move on from him. whether you like it or not, you’re his in life, in death, as he is dying, and beyond that.

[feyhunter78]

Personal rant about an issues I’m having with my best friend under the cut, TW mentions of past sexual trauma both fictional and IRL

Thinking about how Alicent and Rhaenyra coded my best friend and I are, (minus the gay undertones) she’s headstrong, beautiful, confident, feels like she deserves what she wants no matter what and has no fear that her father won’t be there to catch her when she falls. But it makes her ignorant to the deeper plights of others and she lacks the knowledge to look further into things, and weigh her opinions and options before she speaks. She’s so strong and confident that she refuses to accept that her thoughts and opinions can be wrong, and she never does any research.

She was like “I’ve heard Andrew Tate talk some and I think he might be right” and I was like friend???? The man is a sex trafficker who has been quoted saying that women who aren’t virgins are damaged goods, and his OWN SISTER doesn’t talk to him. And she was like “oh I didn’t really look him up or anything” like motherfucker are you serious????

Then you’ve got me, quieter, more traditional, (still beautiful, but my goodness my best friend is a different level) always trying to do what’s right, do what I was supposed to do, trying to make sure everyone is okay, that my words and actions won’t harm and if they do can I take them back or make up for them?

I’m more agreeable, people see me as soft and kind, easy to talk to, but it comes with this guilt, religious, personal, social, whatever I’m always, always watching, always considering the other side because I know what it feels like to be powerless. And I do my fucking research because you have to know the rules!!!!

We’ve argued over TG or TB and she just refuses to accept that Alicent’s actions are motivated by valid reasons, that she was a child victim and was a victim until her husband finally died. She also blows past the fact that Daemon groomed and assaulted Rhaenyra because “they’re so hot” and I just???? I could not and cannot understand how she can overlook the pain and trauma these characters went through and act like it’s absolutely nothing.

Then we got in a bit of a thing because she got into booktok smut and I tried to warn her about the trigger stuff in some of the books and she’s like “oh it’s fine, yeah he like rapes her in this one part, but he basically makes it up with his words in the end” and I’m ????

Like yeah I like my dark stuff too but not a love interest who’s a rapist💀 there is no coming back from that for me????

And the fact that she just doesn’t care, doesn’t even stop to think about how her lack of care for the atrocities committed towards female characters in literally any media affects her is just so concerning to me. It’s like because nothing like that has happened to her then it’s not real??? Or it’s just like “not that big of a deal”????

Like y’all who read Pink Pastels know I went through shit, not a full assault but something similar that I left out of the fic because it was too much and I hadn’t really accepted what had happened. And the fact that what is it one in five women have been assaulted??? Statistically speaking she knows women who have been!!!!

So it makes me sick to my stomach that she’s so blasé about this stuff. To be fair to her, I never told her about it but I have now and I haven’t gotten a response yet so I’ll hold judgment until I do. (She hasn’t seen the Snapchat yet)

I just it really frustrates me because she is such a good friend outside of this stuff but she just lives such a different life from everyone else (her family is super rich) and I feel bad because I really want reality to knock some sense into her with a baseball bat. She just doesn’t understand that people actually suffer this stuff it’s not all just fun in games and ha ha giggles oh he’s so hot!!!

Like bestie I’m here, standing in front of you, asking if you fucked Daemon in a pleasure house (if you really are going to keep reading and flaunting your love of these dark, violent, terribly written books) while I’m trapped with your old ass father who’s been assaulting me and ignoring the children he forced me to have (carrying and trying to sort out the multitude of trauma from my ex) begging you to tell me that you didn’t and you still see me as your friend (that you aren’t a horrible pick me girl who doesn’t actually care about the pain and suffering women go through just because you haven’t experienced it)

[library-of-babylon]

House of Night: Chosen - Review

★★★☆☆ Bullshit galore

Craft ★☆☆☆☆ Characters ★☆☆☆☆ Plot ★★☆☆☆ World-building ★★☆☆☆ Utter nonsense ★★★★☆

Triggers?

Homophobia

Victim blaming

Homeless abuse

Religious abuse

Racism

Sexism

Ableism

Implied sexual assault

Grooming

Sexual manipulation

Self harm

Misogyny

Race war(?) I don't like how I'm just collecting triggers

✨Spoilers✨

Birthmas

Do you like contrived conflict? No? Too bad because that's how this book starts. Zoey's birthday is December 24th and literally everyone except Heath and Grandma Redbird decided this meant everything they got her needed to be Christmas-themed. The only person who gets a pass from this is Jack who's known her for two weeks, likes snow globes, and trusted everyone else on the shit decision. These people have known her for about 3 months at this point and not a single one of them thought to ask her about what she'd like for her birthday or how she would feel about birthday presents that are Christmas-themed. This is a very basic thing to do and should go without saying.

And then there's Zoey, Erik, and Heath. As the book points out Heath has known Zoey for literal years and yet knowing this Erik gets pissed at her over him getting her a gift he knew she would like with a card that says he knows how much she hates Christmas-themed birthday presents.

Chapter 18

Why does a chapter finally deserve its own tangent? Because it is the worst. Problems with Heath aside about halfway through some men start sexually harassing Zoey, while with Heath, and these guys are offensively stereotypical black men. The books have always had a problem with racism including using food to describe skin and referring to hair as "nappy" all the damn time, but hoo boy the first black men we see and they are sexually aggressive, have baggy pants, are harassing people, and as if that start wasn't bad enough it somehow gets worse.

Zoey throws them into oncoming traffic, they get hit by a truck, and she doesn't even care. It takes a moment for her to really process what's happened and by then say they might not be dead besides there's a hospital nearby and they were trying to hurt Heath. To all this tells her what she did was mean she shouldn't be mean, Nyx isn't mean. I haven't told a lot of people this but I was in a car accident last month two days before Christmas. We were T boned and sent rolling, I got a concussion and my arm got pinned under the seat belt, my friend who was the driver got several broken ribs. Again we were inside a car that took most of the impact and thankfully were in a residential area so there wasn't as much force as the main road these men were thrown into. They were hit by a truck going at least 40 miles an hour and had nothing to protect them. That's not mean, that's malice and grievous bodily harm to men who catcalled her.

Professor Bad Touch (Loren Blake)

Please god, make it stop. He calls her a woman, compares their relationship to the implied pedophilic relationship the vampire Shakespeare had with a fledgling, gives her diamond earrings, kisses her, manipulates her into feeling bad for him, tells her not to tell anyone about "them", kisses down her shoulder and invites her back to his room to have sex.

This girl looks for a reason to get out of having sex with her teacher that isn't "moronic and juvenile". She turned 17 at the start of this book and he is not only her teacher but in his mid-twenties. This is deeply unsettling to listen to and all I can think is "You are a child" and "Did this really need to be included". The extremely predatory nature of this "relationship" is not being handled at all responsibly by the very fact that Nyx is seemingly cosigning this.

Because we are with Zoey 24/7 there isn't much room for her, the girl actively being groomed, to talk against what is happening being normalized to her by a man with power over her however at no point does Nyx step in, and give her a warning in any kind of way. Nyx is just as much at fault for this happening in the narrative as Blake, by the constant special treatment Zoey gets it is obvious she cares deeply for this girl who is her "eyes and ears" but does nothing while she is in active danger from this man. Nyx in these books is a trusted adult watching her get abused and doing nothing about it. The only thing Nyx does do around him is tell her to shut up and not spill secrets to the man which yeah I wouldn't tell him shit either but come the fuck on.

I hate that he's the one who takes care of her after she finds her teacher dead and mutilated in front of the school. I don't like how the book is trying to make me like him I know what he is and it just gives everything he says or does no matter how kind an insidious nature.

This man is a predator. He takes her virginity and imprints with her while she's an emotional mess, possibly in shock, having thought that she was about to witness her boyfriend die just one month after seeing her best friend die, forcing her to relive it. Even if she wasn't all the other problems this is so fucked up. Yeet this man into the sun he is scum in every way shape and form.

"you're not like other fledglings. And I feel some rules are meant to be broken" 🤮

The only good thing about professor bad touch is that he fucking dies at the end of the book after being revealed to have groomed and abused Zoey on Neferet's order.

Linda Heffer (Zoey's mom)

Zoey's mom is in an abusive relationship and is doomed by the native. Linda is manipulated by her abusive husband into giving her daughter a birthday present that they both know she would not only not like but would find offensive. The gift in question is adding Zoey and her siblings to the family bible. Under normal consonances this would be extremely heartwarming, adding stepchildren to a cherished family heirloom and tree cementing an unwavering acceptance into the family. Instead, it's a knowing insult to her religion and further religious abuse and manipulation from her stepfather.

Beyond that, there is also a very good chance that Linda and Zoey's siblings have been forced by John Heffer to not be in contact with her. Despite realizing how she's being manipulated by her husband, both Zoey and her own mother (Grandma Redbird) instead comment on how she's a weak woman who wants a man to think for her. It's all honestly quite sad.

Stevie Rae

Since dying and becoming Nosferatu Stevie Rae has gone through an almost complete personality change while also falling into a completely different class of more classical vampires. These Nosferatu vampires as I'm calling them in these reviews need to be invited in, think and act like most would assume the soulless would, burn in sunlight, and need to feed on human blood more often than regular fully fledged vampires. Despite these however, there does still appear to be some humanity in Stevie Rae as she is willing to go along with Zoey's plan to hide her in Aphrodite's parents' mother-in-law suite, part of which involves her giving up feeding on the homeless and other vulnerable civilians instead feeding on blood bags stolen from the school.

Aphrodite

It's absolutely wild hearing Zoey call Aphrodite a hoe while juggling two guys + her teacher.

Keeping with the last book's decision to give her more things to do than just hang around being spiteful in this Aphrodite is given an affinity for earth and sent by Nyx to replace Stevie Rae in the dark daughters and sons magic circle. She also gets a good amount of character development with a clear pattern of her opening up and being vulnerable while alone with Zoey, as well as agreeing to not be as antagonistic while being a part of the circle.

"As Mother says dependable illegals are really hard to find" Sometimes I really wish the books would quiet while they're ahead.

Erik Night

Yo, fuck this guy. He finds his girlfriend being groomed and sexually abused by their teacher and thinks she's the problem, calling her a slut. Fuck him and the horse he rode in on. Erik was a bland if likable guy in the past two books but his behavior in this one just makes me want to throw out the baby and the bathwater. On the one hand, he's upset about very reasonable things but he takes it out on Zoey in the most unreasonable ways. I really can not overstate how bad Erik is as a person, man found his girlfriend being abused and went scorched earth telling all of their friends the moment he had an opportunity and being such a spiteful vindictive bastard that not only was that not enough he then tried to turn everyone against her. Yeet him into the sun with Blake's corpse fuck the both of them.

Heath Luck

Guess who still doesn't understand boundaries? Heath who has gone from light stalking to full-blown obsession. At this point his only goal is Zoey and if they were normal people I'd be legit worried that he would kidnap her. Props to the book for realizing how unhealthy this is however any good boy point that would be given for this are immediately taken away by him deciding to cut himself when she tries to leave him so she'd be drawn to his blood.

I don't like Zoey but can the books please please please give her one love interest with a minor character flaw instead of being the scum of the earth? Like can she get with a guy whose problem is his car is a mess or who never vacuums his carpet?

Neferet

The duality of Neferet is an interesting one. After the girls find their teacher dead and mutilated she makes a genuine effort to be strong and supportive, the rock they and everyone needs at that moment however at the same time she is the unseen evil behind every door.

I just wish it'd been better done. The book ends with the implication that she killed her pedo boyfriend (for the wrong reason) and a personal friend of hers to start what is essentially a race war with humans. It's obvious that she has some greater plan here other than ruining Zoey's life but right now the pieces aren't adding up to shit and given the general state of things I worry whatever it is isn't going to be satisfying.

Jack Twist

I kinda feel bad for Jack, it's said in the book that Erik is like a big brother to him, and in this one, he completes the change to full vampire leaving Jack who has only been at the school for about a month alone. They were roommates and friends but he already lost him.

I just want to give Jack a hug, he's an absolute sweetheart and I swear to any god that will listen if that ever changes I will riot.

Craft

Said said said would it kill the Casts to pick a new word? Try muttered or chided or hell bit.

Maybe "exotic" isn't the best term to use as a compliment to someone period, let alone right after bringing up native Americans.

Would I recommend this book?

I mean kinda because it's full of utter bullshit like Zoey killing two guys then just forgetting that shit but at the same time this book just kinda meanders about not really knowing what to do, creating artificial conflicts and horrifying implications it has no intention of handling properly, and spending entirely too much time with Blake for even me to be comfortable with.

Mind the warnings with this one. Unlike that last book where you could ignore all implications lurking about in favor of things like fake domestic terrorism and the genuinely heartwarming sleepover after Stevie Rae's death in this one it can't bother to be bonkers enough to give much plot besides the horrors.

[behindthescenesoftaylor]

The Person I Used To Be.(Kyle x reader)

(I did not proofread this or edit because I’m lazy so if there is any mistakes or things that seem weird, tell me. Also if you have any tips or requests send those my way PLEASE.

Warning: This story contains mature themes including drug use, self-harm, and underage drinking. Reader discretion is advised. It may be triggering for some individuals.

(Characters are 17, this was based off deftone’s- Change.)

After (y/n)’s mom dies from an overdose, (y/n) finds herself lost in drug and alcohol. Kyle is concerned with this, she’s changed, she’s not the person she used to be

Kyle stood there against the wall with his arms crossed, an unpleasant feeling settling deep in his stomach. he was looking at (y/n), she was surrounded by people, younger and older. They cheered for her as she took another shot, the burn making her flinch but oh how she loved the feeling.

“Yes (y/n)!!!”

“Atta girl!”

“Get it hottie!”

She slammed the glass back onto the table and put her arms up in unison. The now empty glass was put aside as the 12th graders pulled out pill bottles and blade. The people around her started cheering once again.

“Hey! Does anybody have a bill?” A 10th grader asked and Kyle could see (y/n) getting out a single 5$ bill. They boy put the pills onto the table and began to crush them before formatting them into multiple single lines.

“I get to go first, since i won the shot contest!” (Y/n) slurred, a fat smile spreading onto her lips. Kyle hated the way the other boys looked at her, as if she was just an object. (Y/n) took the bill and rolled it up before placing it at the beginning of the line and sniffing all the way down. She took a deep breath and slowly exhaled, feeling the adrenaline.

“Fuck that was hot” a boy said, others nodding in agreement. Kyle furrowed his eyebrows in a silent anger, a flashback coming to him.

(Y/n) and Kyle sat in the waiting room, his hand was over her thigh as she chewed on her nail nervously. Her mother had been admitted after she found her on the floor, pill bottles in her hand. Tears leaked down her face as Kyle tried to comfort her, to his disappointment, it wasn’t working.

“Fuck, Kyle she told me she quit! She- she told me she was sober?! This is all my fault- it’s all my fault, i should have looked m-“

Her talking stopped as the doctor walked out of the door, his hands to his side. (Y/n) immediately stood up and rushed to the doctor.

“How is she? Is she okay?” She questioned. The doctor stood there with a frown for a second, the words leaving his mouth as soon as he saw the little girl, alone, sobbing.

“IS SHE OKAY?” She repeated frantically

“Ms. (L/n), I’m sorry to say this-“ the world went silent as he said the words, her hand flew over her mouth in shock as she back upped in disbelief until she couldn’t no more, hitting the wall. She slid down, and Kyle walked to her, sitting beside her and wrapping her in a huge hug as she sobbed and sobbed. Her cries echoing, leaving the day feeling empty for everyone who could hear.

Kyle shook his head, leaving his thoughts as a the song changed. (Grind on me by pretty ricky) He looked back and saw (y/n) getting up with Clyde . They went to the middle of the floor and started to dance, she turned with her back facing the clydes front and began to rub against him. (Y/n) was too high from the drugs and too drunk to process what she was doing, she was just caught in the moment. She tuned back around and Clyde began to kiss her neck as she continued to sway her hips.

Kyle freaked at this, this was his last straw, you were way to under the influence for this. He marched up to you and grabbed you by your arm roughly, pulling you away from Clyde and outside into his car. “Ow Kyle, what the fuck?!”

“Your coming to my house until this shit wears of (y/n), this is so irresponsible of you, I’m disappointed.” He says, quickly buckling in his seatbelt and starting the car.

“Dissapointed? Okay mother” she said back. Kyles head tuned back and forth as his eyes focused on the road infront of him. The ride to his house was short, taking less than 3 minutes to get there, and as soon as they parked Kyle was out of the door pulling (y/n) along with him.

Her footings were stumbled and she struggled to walk without tripping, Kyle had to hold her up for her to actually get in his house, unharmed. He was lucky that his family wasn’t home, they were currently in another state, for ikes hockey tournament.

They reached the living room before she lost her footing and she fell, hitting her head on the couch and her arm on the table.

“Goddammit, (y/n) are you okay?” Kyle questioned.

(y/n) got up and began to spin around, a feeling of bliss enlightening her. “I’m amazing Kyle! It’s so calming.”

Kyle shook his head and took her by the arm again, they got to the kitchen and suddenly, he picked her up.

“Wee!” (Y/n) said, it might just have been a couple feet but to her it felt like she was flying, the effects of the cross fade getting to her. Kyle placed her on the counter, making sure she was steady, and he hurriedly got the first aid kit, hoping she wouldn’t fall in the meantime.

Once he got it he went back and set it down beside her. She sat there looking into the distance, smiling. Kyle opened the box, took out the alchohol, and light pored it onto a cotton ball. His hands gently held her face as he bagan to dab it on the cut from the fall.

He then placed a bandaid on it, but unlike before, this time she gripped his arm. Her hands venturing up until she reached his cheek, Kyle sat there staring into her eyes. She spreads her legs, giving him room to stand between and pulled him in close, but before their lips could meet, he pulled away.

“Your drunk, (y/n)” he turned away, staring to the floor.

“So? I’m also high of coke, what about it?”

“Are you serious right now (y/n)?! What about it?!”

By this point Kyle was straight on yelling, his emotions getting the better of him.

“Your such a fucking party pooper kyle!” She hopped off the counter and began to walk out of the door, with the intention of going back to the party. She was not in the mood to deal with this.

He pulled her by her sleeve away from the door and took her to the bathroom, blocking the exit, she wasn’t going to get away this time.

“Party?! (Y/n) all that was, was a drug fest! You know it and i know it.”

“Kyle move!” She yelled trying to push him out of the way. He just shook his head no, refusing to let her out until she composed herself.

“Fine if i can’t go to the party, I’ll bring the party to me.” (Y/n) exclaimed as she slammed open the medicine cabinet and pulled out a random bottle. Kyle quickly grabbed her and pinned her to the ground, ripping the bottle out of her hand.

“(Y/n) are you serious? What the fuck is wrong with you?!” He yeld, holding her down. She struggled against him and tried to pry herself from his hands.

“Kyle i need it, I need it Please” she begged, longing for the feeling of the pills. “Please ky”

“(Y/n) don’t you see, this is how your mom died, i don’t want that to happen to you!!”

“Ky, it numbs me, all the pain leaves and even if just for a few hours! I don’t want to feel anymore pain, please Kyle, please.” She began to sob, her chest bouncing against him. He picked her up bridal style when she went limp, carrying her to his bed as she continued to cry.

“Shh” he said while setting her down under the covers and laying next to her, he took her smaller figure into his arms and wrapped tight as she just stared at the wall. Soon after, she fell asleep.

—

The next day she awoke still in his arms, hearing little snouts pouring out of his mouth. The headache from the hangover began as she moaned loudly and rolled out of the bed, away from his arms.

Kyle woke up, confused, seeing her on the ground holding her head. He realized that she was probably hungover, so he got up and got some medicine for her and placed it next to the water he placed on the table.

“Here” he said gently, his smooth voice making her heart flutter. She slowly grabbed the pills and the water and gulped them down, she then slid to sit against the wall with her knees to her chest, leaving an awkward silence around the room.

“So last night was eventful, I’m guessing” she said. She couldn’t really remember anything, just Kyle taking her here.

“(Y/n), this needs to stop. It’s unhealthy and dangerous.” He declared, looking at her from the bed. “It’s changing you.”

“Changing me? How? Because i don’t give a fuck now?!” She said, her voice slowly rising. He let out a sigh and ran his hands through his hair.

“People aren’t Supposed to feel numb, (y/n), that’s why the drugs are fucking illegal. You dyed your hair, got piercings, and your attitude has just changed! You’re doing the one thing you promised you wouldn’t ever do!”

“well people fucking change Kyle!” She yelled angrily, a scowl on her face.

“Not like this (y/n)! Your changing too much and unnaturally!! Your not the person i used to love anymore.”

Her angry facial expression immediately left, he used to love her? He got up from the bed and raced out of the room. “Kyle- Kyle wait!”

He ignored her and grabbed his keys, rushing inside his car. The car began to back up as she exited the house, leaving her there by herself, with the thought of him saying he used to love her, alone.

[whitleyschn33]

RWBY V9E07 Liveblog Thoughts

Hah, actually early for once in my life!

- “May be distressing for some viewers” okaaaaaay, but that’s so incredible vague that it’s kind of useless, RT, at least link to a place to find out what specifically might be triggering or distressing instead of forcing people to seek out what happens in the episode from other sources. (Spoilers: It’s suicidal ideation and off-screen suicide.)

- The bird is cute, but, uh, is it controlling the match?

- As someone that has had to room with multiple people that snore, I commend RWB for not murdering Yang in her sleep. For real though, I do like this quiet moment of Ruby staring at her weapon, it’s nice.

- “I’m late!” ...for a very important date? Shit, though, Jaune’s frantic about this - feels like maybe his confidence he may have built up in the decades may have taken a couple hits yesterday. 

-Oh, arson - and apparently this is a regular occasion. Fire bird?

- ....Did you not notice the paper last night? Jaune’s house has some in it. Also, this score is a bit upbeat for burning a village down.

- Okay, I do kind of like this. Jaune’s somehow settled into basically the role of a huntsman, protecting this village of paper stars from the near certain death they seem to face every day. I like this idea, him taking on the responsibility and clearly treating it with the respect it deserves. The stars remind me of someone/something, but I can’t quite remember what.

- I am a sucker, this is adorable

- “You named them after your teammates?” “No... I named them after everyone.” Okay, but why did you name the blue one Ren? But seriously, not sure how I feel about that. On one hand, names help differentiate and humanize them and can help keep the memories strong, on the other naming them after your friends feels a bit... projectionist? Like, it’s one thing to name the jackalope after your team name, another to give a sentient being the name of one of your best friends.

- Lay off him, Yang - he’s got a job to do, people to protect, and it’s not like you can find something that may not exist. He clearly has been searching when he gets the time, and I suspect that most of it has been under the cover of night when the Paper Pleasers are asleep like the marketplace. 

- The schedule is pretty cute - “watch out for tearable twos” “keep away from Shredder” (please be a TMNT reference), “If you wouldn’t give it to a baby, don’t give it to the Paper Pleasers”, “tea shop fiasco” “Stop the Second Fire”, “sandpaper knife shop”, “STOP. THE. GOOSE.” Seriously, read this thing over if you have the time.

- “Patience pays off” - it does! But what’s the difference between patience that’s self-enforced and patience that’s required?

- “I’m not crazy” Oof... no, you’re not, Jaune. This does seem like he’s been making the best of a bad situation - but if I had to poke holes... what was he doing before he went to the village? He only came after Alyx poisoned him, and he was already much older at that point. Was he still exploring then, or was he just waiting for someone to arrive?

- “We just can’t count on him” - WHAT? BECAUSE HE WANTS YOU TO ACTUALLY GIVE A DAMN ABOUT HELPING HIS VILLAGE? I’m sorry, I thought you were huntresses - you know, people dedicated to helping those that can’t help themselves? I know it’s not fighting off man-eating monsters, but these are life-and-death situations Jaune’s listing off (mostly), not just random chores. He’s established himself as a protector of these innocent people that have helped him and so many others, and you’re acting like he’s asking you to be a janitor or something instead of helping to keep this town safe? What exactly did you expect a huntress to do when they aren’t fighting the Grimm if not help keep the villages safe in other ways? Between this and them just running away from the market, I’m just about done with the girls’ attitudes towards actually doing their damn jobs of helping people.

- Ah, so... all self-inflicted harms. I’m... not sure how I feel about this. The Cat marked ascension as being for when the Ever Afterian has ceased performing its role correctly and needed to be retuned, but the stars seem to think its more like “our work is done, it’s time to move on and be reborn” when that doesn’t seem to jive with what the cat says. They’re still performing their roles just fine, even if they’re at the end of their “arc”, so there’s no need for them to change or ascend if they’re still doing their part. It doesn’t feel right with what we’ve been told about ascension up to this point. And then how this connects to Jaune... with what happened to Penny and him naming the stars after his friends, I understand why he’d be so opposed to them trying to ascend and taking it upon himself to keep them safe, but I hate that this episode will, if it continues to go where I think it will, punish him for this idea, call it wrong for him to stand in the way of the stars and self-inflicted death (I’m wondering if that’s where the content warning is coming in). I also hate that it would let RWBY off the hook, that Jaune was “wasting his time” watching after the village and that he should have just left them to their own devices long ago, thank goodness RWBY’s here to slap him out of that and leave them to die, cause that’s what they want! Yeah, no, I don’t really like this at all.

- Wow. Rude. And how did A MAN IN RUSTY ARMOR SNEAK UP ON YOU. 

- Uhhhhhh.... that’s uncomfortable, and I hate that that undermines the idea that he’s grown to care about the stars, that he’s actually just babysitting stupid children from his POV.

- “Because I can actually protect these people!” Good line - Fall of Atlas trauma, Fall of Atlas trauma, Fall of Atlas trauma -

- Who gave the Ever Afterians a bomb, damn - Ah, Neo, thank you and curse you. Thank you for the potential action scene and a threat that (might) need to be dealt with that causes actual death, curse you from halting the character progression.

- That is the most flat line I think I’ve heard from Weiss - Kara, are you okay? - and thank you, Blake, for admitting you all just ran away last time because so many people in the FNDM seem to think that they were just evacuating.

- An alright action scene! I really appreciate that they’re working as a team, that it’s a group fight instead of one on one duels happening next to each other, even if some of the choreography is lacking. Ruby’s visions are also refreshing, seeing her actually suffering from flashbacks and PTSD, and the movements of the Jabberwalker as it morphs and creaks are very well done, very unsettling.

- “They eat and grow” ....Actually yeah, what the hell is up with that? That’s not just glass illusions, that’s creation.

- WOULD YOU LET THE GIRL ACTUALLY HAVE HER TRAUMA ARC INSTEAD OF CUTTING AWAY FROM IT EVERY TIME THE OTHERS MIGHT ACTUALLY NOTICE?

- Yeah, I.... really don’t like the framing of this. At all. Like this was nothing, that those aren’t lives that were still ended, even if you believe they were reborn (even if that’s the most convenient explanation for you -).

- But that scene was refreshing as all hell. See what happens when you let character actually disagree and fight? I want that Ruby telling off B///B gif on my desk stat, btw. I feel like I should probably break down the entire argument, but that would take more time than I have (it’s my birth-weekend, woooo!), so I’ll just say I really enjoyed finally getting past all the bullshit interruptions and letting Ruby actually vent, letting Jaune vent, let the characters actually fight and be truly upset and frustrated in a way that’s not petty. Good job, why couldn’t we have gotten to this sooner?

This is honestly probably the best (or at least most well executed on a structural level) episode of the volume so far. It actually let the characters talk and fight, it used the Ever After set piece to its advantage for once in forwarding character development (which only really the Herbalist has done so far imo, which is a shame), and had a fight scene with an alright song. I’m... really not comfortable at all with how the ascension idea was handled, though, either tonally or in how it affects RWBY’s frustration with actually having to give a damn about living people - no, it’s okay to not want to keep them safe! They want to die anyway, and Jaune’s just sitting around protecting the equivalent of paper puppets instead of actual sentient beings he wants to keep safe, isn’t that insane? Like, way to let them off the hook of actually having to make a hard decisions or do their job in any way. And this hot off the heals of Jaune helping Penny commit assisted suicide? Framing this mass-suicide as something that’s okay because they wanted it and believe that they’ll just be reborn, and Jaune as in the wrong for not wanting them to hurt themselves? It leaves a really bad fucking taste in my mouth. 

[puppetoffthehook]

A Haircut Makes A Man

Trigger warnings: f slur, abuse, physical harm

Inspired by this art by @kyrosh

Billy was just trying to help Susan by washing the dishes from dinner. Neil was working late apparently so everyone else had already eaten and they were doing their own activities. Max was in her room reading her comic books and talking to Lucas over the handheld radio they all used. Susan was watching Magnum P.I. reruns in the livingroom. The quiet and the repetitive task at hand were actually kind of soothing.

He should’ve known it wouldn’t last. Didn’t matter how close to Christmas it was.

The front door opened and closed and Billy heard Susan greet his dad as he started on drying the dishes. The older man’s footsteps approached the kitchen and stopped suddenly, making Billy’s hackles rise.

“Welcome home, Da-“

He didn’t even get to finish his sentence before those footsteps came nearer much too quickly. He felt a rough hand in his hair that yanked with all its might until Billy fell with an agonized yell. The blonde scrabbled to untangled the fingers from his curls even as he was being bodily dragged by his hair. He kept yelling at his father to let go, he hadn’t done anything wrong. Today Neil Hargrove decided his son’s appearance was wrong.

Neil always hated the mullet but never did anything about it before. You look like a fag. Good for nothing. White trash. Billy loved it because it was masculine enough that no one aside from old fucks like his dad gave him shit for it and he’d still see a hint of his mother in himself when he looked in the mirror. Her blue eyes. Her blonde hair. Now he looks in the mirror as his father pulls him up and all Billy sees is a boy with tears cascading down his face yet again.

“I’m just about sick of looking at you traipsing around this house looking like a faggot with that fucking hair!” Neil practically throws him onto the toilet and Billy sits in terrified silence. His scalp is screaming and he’s certain a chunk of hair was fully removed, if not then he’s fucking surprised. The older male digs through drawers until he finds what he’s after; a pair of hair shears Susan uses to trim Max’s hair.

“Dad-“

“Shut your damn mouth, boy.” Billy stills as his father reaches out and roughly grabs his jaw. It hurts but he tries not to react. “Real men don’t have long hair like this shit on your head. A haircut makes a man, son, and you’re finally going to experience what that’s like.”

Billy knows it’ll happen no matter what he does - his father made up his mind the moment he entered the kitchen - so why not add injury to insult? “Cutting off my hair won’t make me less of a queer on Christmas, Dad.” The fist connecting with his teeth was worth it. Neil couldn’t deny that no matter what he did, he still had to live knowing his only son was gay.

That fire bled from him the moment he felt the shears hacking away at his curls. Tears came to light in his eyes which only made his father sneer at him. Every snip of the blades meeting where they cut made the teen wish he could just throw his dad off and run, just get the hell out and never come back. But he knows he’d come back by nightfall.

One final snip and the last curls fall. He’s heaved up from the toilet and forced to look at himself in the mirror. His dad is grinning that awful, hateful grin and Billy just looks horrified. “Who would’ve guessed under that pussy hairdo you had the makings of a real man!”

He looks just like his dad aside from the curls on top of his head. It makes him sick. It makes him never want to look in a mirror again. The blonde stands deathly still as his father trims the cut to make it even - his military barber days paying off in this display of control. “I don’t want to see it any fucking longer than this or I’ll shave your entire head, William. Do you understand me?”

“Yes, sir.” Spoken clearly and to his liking, Neil threw the shears in the sink and told him to clean it all up. Billy looked in the mirror and saw his father’s hateful eyes looking back at him. His eyes, not hers. He can’t look at himself because he can’t see her anymore.

He shaves his mustache that night and decides he’ll try to grow the mullet back before graduation.

[idy-ll-ique]

His Lovely Girl.

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x F!Reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Requested: nope

Warnings: insecurity

Summary: Sebastian spoils her all the time. What has she ever done for him? When someone leaves a rude comment under her Instagram post, she can't help but rethink her entire relationship with the handsome actor.

Author's Note: Hiya peeps! We're back to Marvel lol, enjoy!

---

"I'll see you later, dove, have fun!" Y/N grinned when her boyfriend leaned over, pressing his lips to her forehead. "Bye, Seb, I'll miss you," she whispered and he looked down at her, his heart swelling in his chest, full of appreciation for her. He loved her so much. "I'll miss you too, Y/N, but I'll only be gone for around 6 hours." Y/N pouted and he couldn't help it.

He leaned over and pressed his lips to hers in a chaste kiss. "I know. Go now, I don't want to be the reason you're late." He laughed heartily when she pushed him away with a smile. "Oh, doll, everyone knows about us, they'll know anyway." With that, he waved at her and left the apartment they shared. Y/N had moved in with him 2 years into dating.

Sebastian Stan; let's just say, he was a busy man. Y/N sighed and got up from the bed, feeling hungry. They had started dating 4 years ago, and what years those were; the most blissful ones in both their lives. They loved each other to death, and they knew that. Y/N waddled into the kitchen and looked around the various cabinets, finding a box of Mac and Cheese.

It was a funny story, actually, how they met. Y/N, at the time, was working as a barista at Starbucks. One day, Sebastian had walked into the Starbucks where she worked, and she was the one who took his order. He was extremely polite, funny and a bit awkward and just like that, she fell in love with him all over again. Y/N was a Marvel geek and Sebastian had noticed.

"I really like your hoodie, doll, where'd you get it?" he had asked her after telling her his order. And she had looked down, seeing the custom-made hoodie she wore. It was black in colour, but one of the sleeves was silver and had a red star on the bicep, just like his arm from the movie Captain America: Winter Soldier.

Bucky's trigger words were printed on the front of the hoodie. She had blushed furiously, simultaneously cursing and thanking her fate and coincidence. "I had it custom made," she had told him at the time and he had grinned so wide he thought his mouth would tear open. That was the moment where he, too, realized that he was getting a crush on the pretty barista.

And he hadn't hesitated to ask her for her number. He had taken a tissue paper, scribbled his number down and had written what's yours? ;) underneath. When he went to pay for his coffee, he purposely made sure that he wasn't giving her any change. With his notes, he slid her the tissue and she took it, giving him a confused look.

When she read it, her breath hitched. While pulling out his change, she had discreetly written her number down on the tissue, saved his on her phone and had given the tissue back to him with the coins. Both of them had grinned widely at each other when he left. While walking home, he had taken out the tissue and had seen her number written neatly under his. And his heart raced, Y/N is worth it.

---

*@yn_yln posted a photo*

4,583 likes

yn_yln Mac and Cheese, anyone? :D

Y/N smiled and logged out of her Instagram account after posting the photo. She just couldn't resist; she looked good that day, one of those days where she felt confident enough to post a picture. She kept her phone away and sauntered into the sitting room to watch something on the television. An hour passed before she yawned, feeling tired.

2:05 pm, her watch displayed. Well, there's no harm in an afternoon nap, am I right? Sebastian wasn't home anyway, and it's not like she had anything to do. Grabbing her phone off the dining table, she walked into hers and Sebastian's shared bedroom, plopping down on the bed. She decided to check her Instagram before falling asleep and opened the said app.

She went through the page that displayed all the likes and comments, pausing at one comment. Her heart dropped as she clicked on the comment, her entire being filling with an uneasy feeling. You're only dating him for the money, admit it. Until then, she had never even thought… about that. Throwing her phone to the side she sat up, breathing heavily.

Y/N was currently jobless. After they started going out, she continued working at Starbucks until last year; Sebastian had suggested that she leave the job and work somewhere better, earn a higher salary. Y/N had discarded the idea at first, since the job paid enough for her to go about her daily things and where would she even find another job?

Starbucks was okay. But Sebastian wouldn't hear it. So she left the job, now jobless. She had applied to a few places but hadn't received any news as of yet. They're right. I'm living off of him. I don't even have a job. What does it look like? A broke woman dating a rich, handsome guy? Oh my God, am I leeching off his hard work? All those thoughts rushed through her head in a span of a few seconds.

The more she thought about it, the more she teared up. Blinking the tears away, she lay back down and curled up under the comfortable blankets. His blankets. She closed her eyes, trying her hardest to fall asleep but the tears were proving it to be difficult. Fortunately, she drifted off into an uneasy slumber 15 minutes later.

---

"Baby, I'm home!"

Silence. Sebastian frowned, carefully walking into the house. "Y/N?" he called out but there was no answer. Keeping the bag he was holding away, he walked further into the apartment, stopping at the doorway of their bedroom. "Aw," he whispered under his breath, smiling, stepping into the bedroom. He gently sat next to his sleeping girlfriend.

His knuckles traced her cheeks but he froze. Why is she so cold? His soft touch was enough to wake her up, because she stirred and blinked up at him. "Seb, hi, welcome back." Her voice was hoarse. "Y/N? Did you fall sick?" he asked worriedly as she sat up, distancing herself from him. "I'm not sick," she muttered but Sebastian wouldn't buy it.

He reached out to cup her cheek, feeling like he had been stabbed multiple times when she leaned away from his touch. "Y/N?" She shook her head and looked out of the window, bringing her knees to her chest. "Just wanna be alone right now." She didn't want to send him away. She wanted to sit in his lap, listen to him rambling about his day…

But she also didn't want to be near him. Do I even deserve him? "What happened?" he insisted, his eyes going wide when she glared at him. "Go. Away." He scrambled off the bed without another word, softly closing the door behind him as he walked into the sitting room, running a hand through his hair. He sat down on the couch and looked around.

What happened in those 6 hours that he was away? Sebastian knew she wasn't on her cycle, it still had another week to come. So it wasn't mood swings. His eyes landed on the empty bowl of Mac and Cheese sitting on the dining table but they skimmed right past it, not knowing that that bowl was the reason for Y/N's sadness. Then he stared at the designer handbag on the opposite couch.

Picking up the bag, he strode back to their room, knocking on the door. Maybe seeing a pretty purse would lighten her mood? "What?" Y/N called out from inside and he opened the door, holding the purse up. "I brought you a gift." Y/N's heart started thudding in her chest and tears glistened in her eyes anew as she stared at the bag with utmost resentment.

"I don't want it."

Sebastian went rigid. She never rejects my gifts. "Y/N—" She started shaking her head. "No. Return it. I'm not taking it. I don't want it," she repeated, her glare now directed at him. "But doll…" he tried, freezing when her jaw clenched. "Get out." Disheartened, he walked out once more, more confused than anything. Now I have to know what happened.

Inside the room, Y/N sobbed silently. The bag was so pretty, her favorite color, the sleek design… she wanted to keep it so bad, but she knew she wasn't worthy of it. Sebastian brought her gifts all the time. Most of them expensive as shit; he had the money to blow off. What had she done for him? Nothing, really. He spoiled her heartily, never once allowing her to do the same.

"You're mine, baby girl, mine to love, mine to cherish, mine to spoil."

She was definitely leeching off him. Outside the room, Sebastian took out his phone and texted Y/F/N, who was Y/N's closest friend. They rarely spoke, but Y/N told Y/F/N everything and he knew she'd have answers.

hey, do you know what's up with y/n

why what happened

she's in a really bad mood

she's angry at me and I brought her a gift but she won't take it

she usually loves them but today…

OH WAIT

I know what happened

she texted me in the afternoon

something about a comment on Instagram or something

ig that's why she's in a bad mood

oh

thanks

I'll check it out

He ended the conversation and opened Instagram, seeing a new post from his dear girlfriend. Sebastian couldn't help but smile as he liked the photo, commenting a heart emoji. There were only around 22 comments on the post, so he decided to go through them. Which comment had triggered her? He found it instantly and his nostrils flared.

Replying to the fairly rude comment, he typed, how about you fuck off and mind your own damn business? If you don't like her, unfollow and leave. There's literally nothing else you need to do. After hitting send, he kept his phone away and, determination shining in his eyes, ran back to the bedroom.

He threw open the door and a sob escaped the lips of the startled woman. He started taking off the annoying clothes he was wearing until he was just in his boxers, sliding into the bed next to her. She attempted to push him away but the strong man didn't budge, holding her on his lap as she thrashed. Soon, she gave up the fight and melted against him, crying her eyes out.

"I'm sorry," she apologized again and again, her breath hitching. "Hush, baby, it's okay, I'm not mad," he whispered, rubbing her back, helping her calm down. She rested her head on his shoulder, her arms tight around him. "Tell me the truth. What happened?" he asked even though he knew the answer. Tiredly, Y/N narrated everything; from the comment to all her insecurities.

Sebastian gently cupped her cheeks, wiping her tears off. "Y/N, you're mine. I love taking care of you, I love spoiling you, and I don't do it because I expect something in return, I do it because I love you. Don't listen to strangers on the internet, what better work do they have? Nothing but lowlifes. You don't have to do anything for me. I don't want you to do anything for me."

"But Seb…"

"No. No, you're my girlfriend and only the best for my girl. I love all the gifts you get me. I cherish them wholeheartedly. Just you being my girl is a gift better than anything else in the world, to be honest. But I'm going to continue looking after you whether you like it or not. You don't even have to go to work, I'm here for you. I love you." Y/N teared up again.

They were happy tears.

"I love you so much," she cried weakly and Sebastian pulled her to him, cradling her head, breathing her in. "I love you too, doll. Now will you take my gift, please?" She nodded against him and he gently lowered her on the bed, going outside to get the bag. Once back in their room he handed the bag to her, smiling at the way her eager hands reached up to accept the gift.

As he watched her admiring the bag, he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, till death do them part.

His girl, his lovely girl.

---

A/N: Leave a like if you enjoyed, thanks for reading!

[un2-verse]

BILLY — Kim Taehyung (3)

Synopsis: News of a Sadistic Serial Killer nicknamed “Jigsaw” is spreading around town like wildfire… the nickname stemming from the puzzle piece he cuts from every victim’s body. No one knows who he’ll trap next but in a town full of delinquents and criminals, it could never be you. Right?

Pairing: yandere!Taehyung x f!reader

genre: angst, horror, weirdly some fluff lol

Warnings: dark themes, yandere, stalking, manipulation, conditioning, mentions of abuse, suicidal ideations/attempts, self harm, murder, depictions of torture etc (basically its gorey and fucked up), angel trap, etc stabbing and guns. do not read if triggered!!!!

wordcount: 2.2k

taglist: @yes-sol-not-soul @yoongiofmine

a/n: pt 3 is here!! honestly i wasnt expecting this amount of support as i’ve never published my writing before so thank u sm ♡ i was inspired to write this one night and i had no idea where it’d go or anything but i’m happy with the way its turning out :D fun fact abt me, i’ve been obsessed w the franchise since i was little and i actually have 2 saw tattoos, one of billy and one above saying “cherish your life” since that’s pretty much the motto of saw :) and i have quite the collection of saw/billy items so why not turn my fav horror film into a fucked up love story! let me know if u would like to be added to the taglist and pls enjoy reading^^ feel free to send me asks abt the series or anything u want~ i love hearing from u guys!! :D ps— taehyung and the reader dont have much interaction in this part,, theyll definitely be more of them together in part 4 :) unedited so pls excuse any mistakes!! tysm <33 and remember these are fictional characters and do not represent bts personally in any way!!

series masterlist

part one part two

The headlines constantly named the Jigsaw Killer, Billy. The somewhat eerie little doll that had a face as white as a Calla Lily with spirals on it’s cheeks as red as the blood that was shed during the tests. Billy was always dressed in a little black suit with a red bowtie and he was (most of the time) situated on a squeaky battered tricycle. Attached was always a tape that read “play me” and when the subjects did, a chilling voice— one that could make even the world's worst predators shiver with terror— would echo around the room.

Everyone knew that a doll clearly wasn’t responsible, yet they gave it the name Billy in hopes to somewhat humanise the face that instilled panic— they did not want to live in fear.

It was the only face behind the killings.

But this time, there was a different subject stuck in the test and Billy had made sure there was no way for them to survive.

“How are you scared of heights? You’re practically a giant yourself!”

“Just because I’m tall doesn’t mean I can’t be scared of heights Y/Nie.”

You had no idea how long had passed since Taehyung had turned up at the garage, you were too busy chatting away squeezed into the kitchen while your Dad, Yoongi and Hobi worked on the cars in the shop. If anyone could hear you both, they would think you’d known eachother since childhood— the playful jokes and light touches exaggerated that.

You’d only known him for a few hours really, if you added the time spent with him on the first day and now. It hadn’t seemed like all those weeks ago that you first met, he had a familiar presence, as though you had known him for years compared to the hours.

“I just wouldn’t imagine you to be scared of anything Taehyung… you seem so confident and fearless.”

You saw the way Taehyung looked at you. His eyes flashed with understanding.

“I did have my fears back then, much like yours.”

“What do you mean?” you had a rough idea on what he meant but you needed him to voice it.

A deep inhale and the words flowed from his lips before he could stop it, “The fear of living. I had been through some stuff you know, growing up. My mum was working a lot and my dad was an alcoholic, he was so fucking possessive and wouldn’t let her go anywhere without kicking off. It was a fucking shitshow and so toxic. This one time though, I’d pretended that I’d gone to school and waited outside the front door. It didn’t take long before I heard shit getting smashed and my dad shouting.” Taehyung was telling the truth only, he left out the part where he was also as possessive, if not more, than his father. Well, let's say… obsessive. “I just ran in the house and saw my dad towering over my mum and I don’t remember what happened but, I do remember my mum crying and my dad disappeared.”

Now Taehyung was lying through his teeth. He remembered clearly, almost like it was yesterday. He smashed the nearest bottle, pulled his mother away from the monster that scared her and stabbed him. Not just once, not twice but thirty-seven times. Hence the thirty seven tattoo on the palm of his right hand (the one he’d actually killed his father with). There was only Taehyung who knew what it meant, he counted every single time the broken glass pierced his father’s body, he counted with a smile on his face and a chuckle in his throat.

You were at a loss for words. Your mouth gaped in shock, eyes wide and your brain scrambled for the right thing to say. You reached over and grabbed his hand, interlacing your fingers. His thumb running back and forth along your hand. “I’m sorry, I can’t imagine what that must’ve been like.” There was no way you could relate, your mother and father were happy and in love. They had the ideal relationship, one you wished for yourself. You could empathise though.

“You don’t need to be sorry baby, it’s in the past and I’ve moved on from it. I was like you though, poisoned by the roots that keep you on the ground even though you wanted nothing more than to break free and be no longer.” A silence fell over you both before Taehyung uttered, “I wasn’t successful with my attempt so now I’m here to help you.”

Warmth spread throughout your body, a smile graced your features as you no longer felt alone.

You had a completely different idea to what those words actually meant.

It was nearing the evening when Taehyung’s car had been fixed. Yoongi popped his head in the kitchen to tell him but stopped himself so as to not interrupt the scene before him. You were laughing along to whatever Taehyung was babbling about with your hand resting on his bicep, with that look in your eyes that he hadn’t seen for years. Yoongi felt himself smile as he saw you hanging onto Taehyung's every word.

For the first time in forever, you looked alive.

Yoongi cleared his throat which drew yours and Taehyung’s attention, “Sorry to interrupt guys. We’ve finished with your car so whenever you’re ready we’ll be outside.” The infamous gummy smile overtook his features, you felt yourself beam in return.

“Thanks man! I’ll be like, five minutes.”

Yoongi nodded his head in reply and swiftly left the room.

You’d taken Tae’s hand into yours, playing with the array of rings that occupied his fingers. Solemn thoughts overtook, am I not gonna see him again? Was this, whatever this is, over before it had even begun? Your eyes stayed on his hand as you turned it over and traced your finger over the inked ‘thirty seven’ on his palm. “What does this mean?”

Taehyung didn’t think twice before he practically beamed out, “It’s my lucky number.”

The difference was, it wasn’t really his lucky number… although he did see it that way. It was the number that had stayed with him. It was something he was proud of, whenever he looked at the hand that killed his father, his chest filled with pride and a joyous feeling overtook his senses. It was his first murder. Something he relished in and thus, created the onslaught of Jigsaw killings. He targeted a certain type— those whose sins would lock them up forever if they were ever found out. Racists, murderers, rapists, drug dealers, con-men. Authoritative figures who abused their power. He even went as far as subjecting suicidal people.

You see, things aren’t sequential. Good doesn’t lead to good, nor bad to bad. People who steal, don’t get caught, they live the good life. Others lie, cheat and get elected.

Some people would call it karma but Taehyung, he called it justice.

He’d started this with one thing on his mind— those that don’t appreciate life do not deserve it.

Whenever a serial killer was on the loose, the press did what they always did. They gave them a nickname. While the public had named the doll Billy. The actual killer was named ‘Jigsaw’.

This stemmed from the jigsaw piece that was cut from the victims skin, no one knew why he was doing it or what it even stood for.

It did have a meaning although unknown to the public.

The jigsaw piece that was cut from the subjects was only ever meant to be a symbol that that subject was missing something. A vital piece of the human puzzle. The survival instinct.

After all, until a person is faced with death, it’s impossible to tell whether they have what it takes to survive.

Across town an underground abandoned warehouse, was where the next subject had found themselves.

They were suspended in the air, their feet merely dangling above the ground. The putrid smell of death lingered in every crevice, the sound of rats scurrying along the concrete floor filled their ears just as they began to stir awake.

A pain in their ribs was the overwhelming factor to them finally coming around. When they groggily opened their eyes, they were paralised with fear due to the scene in front of them.

A doll sat a few feet ahead, perched upon a tricycle. Adorned with a black suit and a red bowtie. A slow red light flashed in his eyes.

Billy.

Before the subject could even register how, when or why they found themselves trapped in a test, footsteps echoed behind them. The subject called out, “Help! Please, somebody help! I shouldn’t be here!”

A tsk reached their ears, as a disembodied voice replied, “Trust me, no one can hear you. Scream all you like. You’d just be wasting your breath, you may as well cherish it before it's gone.”

With hairs stood on end, the subject stilled. “What do you want from me?”

“I don’t want anything from you.” The man's footsteps grew louder. “I’m here to serve justice, that’s all.”

The man rounded the subject, settling in their view with only his cloaked back visible while he tended to the little doll. He touched Billy delicately—like he was a little child that he loved dearly. He combed his gloved hand through the doll's black hair and eventually pulled his fingers from the tresses to pat his head gently.

“You fucking psycho! Let me go!”

He couldn’t help but laugh at that which only infuriated the subject more causing them to shake in anger, a movement they soon ceased when they realised something was penetrating their ribs.

“I’d be very careful if I was you, we wouldn’t want you hurting yourself now… would we?” The cloaked figure spun around. An angry glint to his eye.

“What the fuck, you’re fucking crazy. Let me out, this isn’t right!” The subject tried their hardest to swing their legs, to somehow kick the man who’d imprisoned them.

“I think you’ll find it is right. You’re unworthy of the body you possess.” He inched closer, “see, when someone purposely intends to harm others, they lose their right to life.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

The man arched a brow as he replied, “Don’t play dumb. You know exactly what I’m talking about.” He felt like it was a game of cat and mouse except, he was a tiger and his subject, was the tiniest prey to mankind. “But, let me remind you! Since you can’t get your thick fucking head to work. You’re a liar, a cheater and an abuser. That ring any bells?”

The subject's face dropped.

“Ah, I see by your expression you know exactly what I’m talking about! Glad to see we’re on the same page.” He shrugged his cloak off placing it to the side of the doll. “I want to play a game.”

“What game? This isn’t a fucking game! You’re sick in the head you fucking cunt!”

The atmosphere shifted, the man remained calm while the subject went ballistic.

“What is this? What fucking game?”

“You feel the machine that’s currently occupying your ribs? Well, in about ten minutes that’s going to rip you apart. I’m proud to say that trap is my baby. I’ve been working on it especially for you! How nice is that?” he reached out to tug at the subject’s legs, tormenting them like a cat would a mouse. “Anyway, as my beautiful angel trap will rip you apart, my darling little friend Billy over here,” the subject followed the direction the man's hand pointed, “is going to match your face with the ugliness of your soul.”

“Fuck, fuck this! How do I stop it? Tell me how I fucking stop it!”

A boxy grin overtook the man's face, laughter poured from his mouth as he leaned over and slapped the subject’s leg. “This is a special game.”

“Who are you? What do you mean by ‘special game’?”

He raised himself so he stood tall and grabbed a knife from his pocket, “I’m the man you call Jigsaw.” He traced the tip of the knife along the subject’s ankle, “and when I say a special game… I mean you can’t get out.” While the subject was screaming in realisation, Taehyung walked back for his cloak, hung it over his shoulder and stalked off back the way he came. He sent one last smile to the subject as he rounded them and within the blink of an eye, he gripped the knife and slashed the subject’s achilles.

A chilling scream pierced the eerie atmosphere, the subject couldn’t string words together. Abundances of anxiety, terror and pure panic took reign of their body. Taehyung grabbed the injured muscles and forced his gloved fingers in as he gripped and twisted them, “That’s for Y/N.”

Taehyung had pressed the timer before he cut the subject’s tendons. He grabbed the tape from his pocket and threw it on the ground and with a chuckle he shouted, “Game over!”

Before he reached the end of the hallway, he heard the gunshots pierce his subjects face followed by the sound of the angel trap, even this far away Taehyung heard every crack of the ribs and the noise of the body being tore apart.

Without looking back, Taehyung rounded the corner and slammed the door shut.

He’d chosen the Angel trap for the irony, the subject that was currently hanging from the ceiling was no angel. They were a fucked up, evil, waste of space. Taehyung had done the world a favour, he’d done you a favour.

That got him thinking, how much blood would you shed in order to stay alive?

[a/n: who do we think was in the trap???👀]

[artreider]

Station 19 rewatch: 4x14

Going to try to do another rewatch before my family wakes up. We have a lot to do today and there is a dark cloud over the house after loaing our cat this week. Here's hoping i can get through one of my favorite episodes before they get up.

Surrera is so cute here and the whole food thing, like girl where is our payoff on this baby that was so clearly teased. Or is there another medical condition that could be blamed on her excessive eating.

Im so glad maya and andy are friends again. I loge their friendship.

I'm glad andy acknowledges that getting married doesnt fix things; but i worry that if maya and carina hit a rough patch, andy will remind maya of this conversation or use her own issues with sullivan and their marriage as an i told you so.

Danielle is beautiful but does anyone else think she lost weight, random question but just looking at her in her uniform there she seems smaller and it worries me. Didnt really notice last time i watched this episode but am i alone in this.

Oh carina baby you so dont want to go. I just want to hug you.

Jack is so cute, he deserves a family so much but i really do fear he'll be killed off.

Im surprised ben reached out to Sullivan instead of dean.

I love this outfit on maya. Carina your girl is flirting with you and thinking of happier times, engage with her.

I love that maya opens up with carina about her dad and the protests and the happenings in the world with him. It shows so much growth and im here for it. Also anyone else annoyed that one carina answered gabriella's phone call when maya is opening up to her and two that she didnt turn it off for their last few hours together.

The look of like disappointment/devestation on maya's face when carina answers the call and walks away from her is too much hurt.

So sad that bailey isnt there and that ben is alone for even a second of this.

I'm glad andy and sullivan came to be there with ben. Like i get why they wanted andy but im sad after ben and Dean's episode dean wasnt there.

Oh jack, i dont even know what to say besides oh jack lol.

The drama with trash girl is too much lmao. I know its important for jack/inara but its just too much.

Carina packing up her knives being a trigger for maya like she's leaving forever is heartbreaking.

Carina snapping at maya hurts, dont be mean to baby. Also the kitchen sign is totally carina's doing and though she hadnt confided in maya yet that she is her home its a dead giveaway.

I really need screen grabs of the changing words on the sign.

The kids talk, the coming out talk and the marriage talk are all things that should not be done while packing or doing anything else.

Wait it totally sounded like she said "it felt pregnant" lmao or i just have babies on the brain.

Now carina being flirty and maya not reciprocating.

Maya you shouldve pushed the marriage talk now if it was what you really wanted. Instead of letting carina drop the i never wanted to get married bomb and walk away.

Andy and ben together, this friendship is beautiful. I feel like it took several seasons for ben to really get in good the team. Im trying to think of other moments besides the prt support and such when he really connected with folks before this season and none come to mind. He has been an outlier from my memory, tell me im wrong with examples please.

Lmao "you slept with my wife which means we are in a pod", things a pandemic makes funny.

Thats just wrong, giving gibson shit still. Dont hit the puppy with the newspaper when he's doing nothing wrong.

Once again with gabriella, seriously carina turn off your phone and be present with maya and maya alone.

Maya's jealousy is everything. This argument ugh, so good and just the tip of the iceberg.

I hope that maya does take the month break and the months after to really get to know the us immigration system and what it will take for carina to become an american citizen as well as learn more italian. I dont need her fluent but id love to see her use some italian with carina. She lost her brother who she spoke to in her native tongue itd be nice for her to gain that in her wife.

I love how carina stops herself as she raises her voice at maya, like she realizes it may be triggering to maya. I really do think the show and actresses put in a lot in this episode to show how well they know each other and have grown. I feel like they talk more even if we dont see it and maya is working on her issues with carina's love and support. I also do love how this argument ends though ;)

Once again maya opening up and finally carina is there and not sidetracked. And its nice carina opens up as well.

Ben's dream with the different versions of himself and his mom is funny and heartbreaking.

Joey in the dream lmao.

The nice thing about ben is if he gets hurt on the job and cant be a firefighter anymore he has other professions to fall back on.

Oh jack. I just want you to get your happy ending.

I still think its so weird to be talking about jack after they had sex but im glad they are in a place that is so comfortable and can laugh about him.

Once again another bomb dropped, kids. This is something that needs to be discussed properly.

Oh maya dont drop the marriage bomb like that. And i guess i dont underatand the outrage of the "just because", like why would carina think it was anything but that when it was dropped on her like that and after she said she didnt want to get married. This fight is so much about misunderstandings and hurtful comments.

I get how maya's fear gets the best of her here especially after carina said they just moved in together because they didnt want to be apart (asif that is a bad thing) and it was bureaucracy.

And i can understand why maya's fear hurts carina but they both needed to take a minute to breathe and try to talk it out.

I do like when carina tells maya to breathe, again like she knows her triggers and feels maya is on the verge of a panic attack.

If carina felt she married maya when she moved in i really dont see the harm in making it official. Would her having been moved out in italy for 6 months or more have felt like a divorce. I really need to know more about her logic here.

I agree why not just do it.

You've both said enough carina. I hate that she just walks away, so un carina like.

How did jack end up at the hospital? Was he called or what?

Andy is such a good friend this episode, checking on everyone.

Gabriella is so right noone wants to be proposed to the way maya kind of did. Like i cant help but wonder how carina would've taken a true proposal.

Im so glad gabriella spoke some truth to carina and turned her around on the marriage idea.

If we let the wrong decisionss rule how we live our lives things in the world would be so different. Less babies possibly and fewer marriages among other things.

Once again andy being a good friend this episode.

If carina hadnt shown up im curious what maya's next move wouldve been after talking to andy.

Love the proposal and love how its carina who announces they are getting married.

[rojnapat]

ok. i’m speaking up about this because it’s fucking ridiculous. 

i am mentally ill. i have been there, exactly where both lola and eliott are right now. i’m clarifying this first, because i’m seeing so many people who have no idea what they’re talking about speaking up. 

yes, i agree with you all too, stigmatizing mental illness is wrong. demonizing mentally ill people is wrong. but there’s a MIDDLE GROUND you all are failing to see, and it you’re going straight into babying and blindly protecting harmful and unhealthy behaviors. 

yes, we have to understand that lola is 16, and what she’s been through, that recovery is not linear, of course, you’re right! but you know where you’re wrong? where you don’t see ANYTHING wrong with the fact that she openly pressured eliott into drinking. because eliott is mentally ill too, and if this scene had been reversed everyone would be LOSING IT talking about eliott being manipulative and such. yes, it is lola’s mental illness, the one triggering this unhealthy coping mechanism and everything that comes as a consequence of it, including dragging eliott down with her, but that doesn’t mean that what she did is “understandable” because it is NOT. 

destroying stigma does not equal accepting everything no matter how shitty it is. this is wrong, what lola did is wrong, it’s toxic, manipulative behavior, and while i can agree with you all that it’s pretty clear where it’s coming from, i fail to see the point in exhibiting this, and THIS SPECIFICALLY, as the part of the plot of a show that has as a main goal destigmatizing mental illness. 

miss me with ‘realism’ so much awful shit is also realistic and accurate to our current times and people lola’s age yet they won’t show it, because it misses the point of the show. yes, it’s ‘realistic’ (but it’s as common as the opposite, pushing people away to not hurt them!) for a mentally ill person spiraling to stop caring about the people around them and hurt them with their behavior, but, don’t you see it? that’s literally the way we’re always shown. this isn’t the representation we need this is the representation we always get and we HATE. 

the broken friend, the bad apple, the promiscuous bisexual, the loner addict, lola was supposed to BREAK this stereotype, not reinforce it. lola is supposed to be the character that shows us that it’s not the way it looks!! 

so, tldr: lola’s behavior just now was awful, but i’m not saying this as “let people hate on lola” i’m saying this in the way of HOW ARE YOU OKAY WITH US BEING REPRESENTED SO HORRIBLY, WHEN WE WERE PROMISED GOOD REPRESENTATION? 

like, do you understand it? do you understand that ‘realistic’ does not mean ‘good’ representation? do you understand that as a mentally ill bisexual if i wanted to see a character like the lola i was just shown i would just rewatch House MD and follow Thirteen’s arc more closely? i want to see healing, i want to see recovery, i want to see all the good that can happen WHILE still being mentally ill, i don’t NEED a reminder of all the bad every damn fucking show already gives me! 

so stop speaking over mentally ill people upset with this clip! stop using the word “realism”! a lot of fucked up shit is realistic! that’s not what we’re here for! and you KNOW damn well that’s not what we were promised.

[mrsmarymorstan]

Don't why the fans especially the manga readers are hyping about tooru breaking the curse when she didn't even do shit. she just went on that silly adventure and be an annoying crybaby whenever she learns something new about the curse. it was actually akito who broke the curse so i can't understand what you are all hyping tohru on.

Ah yes, I to remember the days when I’d be deliberately antagonistic just for fun and beat on female characters for showing emotions and caring about people. Or indeed, resent characters for having entirely realistic reactions to the cosmic horror and terror that surrounds them. Then I turned 16 and HER WE ARE ten years later and I get to see it from a whole new perspective! What fun. 

In your misguided attempt to cause drama by shitting on people having a good time by being excited about upcoming character moments, much like Dr Flemming’s unwashed petri dish, you have hit upon something that benefits further discussion and interest. 

That point being, was it TOHRU who broke the curse, or was it Akito? 

The answer, I believe, is both. SPOILERS FOR ANIME ONLIES TONY YOU ARE WARNED DO NOT @ ME AGAIN IF YOU MESS UP. 

When Tohru sets out to break the curse and stop the love of her life from being locked up in a cold dark room for the rest of his existence, she finds out that the curse is firstly, a bond of blood sworn by the spririts of the past and not something that can be physically manifested, and secondly, that the curse has already begun to break RE: Kureno. 

Now, there’s a LOT of theories about why Kureno’s curse broke and if it truly was some random event or if there was a trigger. I think it’s a combination of the two. It’s noted by the maids and by (I think) Shigure that this is the first time in a long time that the entire Juunishi are present. There is also a sizeable age gap betwee Hiro and Kureno, that would about match up between Hiro being an infant when Kureno’s curse broke. Ergo, I propose that his curse broke soon after their first New Year’s together as a complete banquet with no spaces missing. Save that of the cat, of course, but more on him later. 

Kureno is the rooster, and I believe that in legend the Rooster was seen as the closest to God because he could deliver messages between heaven and earth. Therefore it makes sense that the first to leave God alone, is God’s messenger. “We have had our final Banquet, it’s time to end the cycle.” 

Of course Akito/God does not have a positive reaction to this, and the loss of one Juunishi inspires a great sense of loneliness and fear within Akito similar to that which lead to the creation of the bond in the first place. We do not see God being willing to make any attempt to work on achieving the Cat’s wish of finally being able to form friendships beyond the Zodiac and forming bonds with the humans he was so afraid of before. 

And THAT is the crux of the matter. Tohru came into the Sohma’s lives and began to break the curse simply by forming close bonds with them all, and letting them into her life and react to the world around them. Hana and Uo are both friends with Kyo and Yuki, actively choosing to spend time together. We also see that in Kyo attending the same school as Yuki, it opens up that same school to Haru and Momiji where they too can form bonds outside of the Sohma influence. It’s a school THEY chose, not the single sex one Akito picked out. Equally this means we have to give some credit to Yuki for making the brave choice of defying his parents and Akito’s wishes by attending a mixed school, and Shigure (who continues to be the mastermind here) for goading Akito into allowing Kyo to also attend that school and not simply pay off the private school he was MEANT to attend and have them let him back in. 

It’s also no real surprise that the two other Juunishi whose curses break before the final scene are Momiji and Hiro. Hiro is shown to be forming bonds outside of the Zodiac too. Not only has he matured enough that he is able to understand things from Tohru’s perspective now and has a relatively positive relationship with her, he ALSO becomes a Big Brother with a little sister he adores. Again, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that his curse breaks whilst he is in the same room as her. The Sheep has formed a meaningful relationship outside of the Zodaic, so it is time for the Sheep Spirit to return to its original realm. We then have Momiji, who is absolutely desperately in love with Tohru and is also equally desperate to be allowed to have a relationship with his OWN sister. Momiji’s curse breaks only after he has gone through puberty though and reaches adulthood. It’s when he starts to truly understand the path that is laid before him, and where he stands in it. He WANTS a relationship with Tohru, but he can also recognise that she is in love with Kyo and that makes it all the more painful. He knows that as he ages he is only going to be made to feel more distant from his sister, and that hurts too. HOWEVER, Momiji doesn’t ever stop LONGING for meaningful relationships and a world beyond the life of the Zodiac. He recognises that he does not have anything really tying him to the Sohma anymore, and so his curse breaks. The rabbit spirit has no need to be part of the banquet, and so heads home.   

Now, as you can see, whilst Tohru is a key trigger in the breaking of the curse, she’s still not the one to actively do it, right? 

Well, wrong. Sort of. 

Take note that when we’re told the ACTUAL story of the Original Banquet , we find that the Cat was the first friend God ever made, and was also the first to die. It was the death of the cat that triggered God into creating the eternal bond that would always bring them together, and it was the cat’s terror and dismay at being forced into such a bond that caused them to disown him. The cat has, all along, simply wanted God to make friends. The first who had the curse take effect upon them, was the one who rejectd it the most and as such was then shunned forever more. The cat wanted God to make bonds outside of the Zodiac, and in turn the cat was forever banned form making those bonds. Even though we’ve been show the Cat was granted some realtionships in the form of Kazuma’s Grandmother; it is a relationship made out of pitty rather than love and understanding. 

Tohru though? Torhu is the God Damned (excuse the pun) Year of the Cat Fanclub PRESIDENT. Nobody loves and respects the OG Cat Spirit in the way she does. She emphasied with the Cat’s plight in the legend her mother told her, feeling sorry for them being tricked like that and being forced to miss out on being part of the legend. She wanted the cat to join the group! She cradled the cat’s body in much the same way God in his final moments, as instead this time Tohru brings him back into the light and forms a stronger and longer lasting relationship with the cat spirit through love and empathy.

And later on, in that same mountainside, it is TOHRU who is the one who reaches out her hand to god and asks to become friends. It is the act of God forming friends with mortal humans that triggers Akito/God to finally release everyone from their curse. That’s why it happens when it does, when Akito knows that Tohru is safely out of hospital, that she has still welcomed Akito into her life... and that if Akito is going to take those terrifying steps into forming relationships that can end in rejection, she’s going to have to do it on her own two feet. 

THAT is how Tohru breaks the curse. THAT is what is important here and what is so FUCKING HARD ROCK about Tohru Honda. We see her willing to stand up to GOD in order to break the curse, but she stands before God as an EQUAL. Tohru WILL break the curse. She WILL fight for her soulmate. She WILL make you be friends with her and address your deep seated issues of self hate and abandonment (not that she has those issues herself ahahahha no I’m just your average happy go lucky teenager with two dead parents who lives in a tent I’M FINE) 

Of course, it turns out that everything Shigure and Kazuma told her about breaking the curse was true: That she didn’t have to do anything other than to continue to be herself. HOWEVER, in order to BE herself she needed to try and have a “silly adventure” where she tested her metal and learnt to speak up for herself. Why are we excited? Because we’re going to see Tohru finally find the confidence to speak out against others without harm! We see her get into a fight with Rin about it. We see her refusing to back down against Kagura. We see her standing on her own two feet and saying “No. No I don’t want that. I REFUSE to give in and to leave well alone!” 

All before, Tohru has been so scared to speak up for herself because of her debilitating abandonment issues (and please let’s not make fun of people’s mental health issues, okay? I haven’t been having a weekly therapy session for nearly two years now just because for the fun of it) but now she’s got to the point where she feels comfortable and secure enough to show an uglier side to herself that people might reject. She is able to be mean, and shout, and fucking break into someone’s house in order to get what she wants! How can a TRUE fruits basket fan NOT be excitd for that level of character development? 

And to end it, please, for the LOVE OF GOD it is 2020. I am 26 years old. I have been on tumblr since 2011. Do not send me hate about female fictional characters and expect me to roll over. My username is “Mrs Mary Morstan”. Mary. Morstan. The most hated female character in all of BBC Sherlock. Do not even try to fucking test me, you Petri Dish. 

[arsonanddahlias]

Concealer

This is one I wrote a little while ago about Reggies home life, which he tries to hdie from the boys. It does mention explicitly Child Ab*se and Implied s*lf harm so if those are triggering topics please be wary and skip this fic :)

Reggie stood in front of the bathroom mirror, and took a glance at his disheveled form. He certainly couldn't go to band practice looking like *that*.

Luckily, and perhaps concerningly, he was fully equipped for this situation, he didn't want to have to lie about bruises on his face and arms to his friends again, they'd barely believed him last time when he told them he'd fallen down the stairs.

To be fair, he thought, it was only half a lie. He had gone down the stairs, only less fallen and more pushed.

He'd gone out the next day and bought some tgrifted flannels for when it was too hot to wear his leather and some concealer which was probably the wrong shade.

Today wasn't the first time he had used them.

It's not that he wanted to lie to his friends, but the concern on their faces was too much to bear and he knew that it would eat them up that they couldn't intervene.

Really, he was helping them.

He heard another crash downstairs and flinched, hard. He'd almost been hit by another plate today, and the sound hit too close to home.

He gave himself a long look, trying to pinpoint different things he needed to do. He put on the flannel he kept clenching his fists around, which worked to hid the bruises and scars that his...... Dad...... Mostly..... Had left there. He grabbed the cheap concealer from his shelf and coated his face and neck. He put on a thick layer but it was barely enough, he couldn't afford the good stuff. He rubbed it in with his fingers and stepped back to check that he looked fine. His eyes were a little red but it'd probably be fine.

He snuck through the kitchen, trying to avoid the living room where he could still hear yelling. The air was humid, he should probably have grabbed a coat but it was way too warm outside. Grabbing his bike from their porch, he made his way towards their studio.

He was a little late and definitely stiffer in his performance, but if the boys noticed they didn't say anything. Other than some little mess ups that earned him jabs from the band, the rehearsal ran smoothly.

For once it was Alex who suggested they go to the pier, and all 4 boys readily agreed. Leaving their instruments scattered around the studio, they linked arms and headed towards the beach.

Maybe one of them should have checked the forecast before hand, though, because by the time they were there, torrential rain was bombarding them.

The boys laughed and huddled under a nearby bike shelter. It was late, so the streets were completely empty.

Suddenly, Luke stopped completely mid sentence, and stared at Reggie. Alex and Bobby, confused, followed his eye line to Reggie's face.

"Hmm? What. Have I got something on my face?" Reggie questioned.

He brought his hand up and touched his face, bringing it in front of his eyes.

"Shit"

Maybe he should have bought better concealer, or brought a coat, or thought even for a second that makeup does tend to melt in the rain.

At that point, none of those things were going through his mind.

They're going to find out. They found out. He's going to be so mad. Oh my god. Maybe they didn't.........

He ran.

He didn't care that it was raining anymore, he ran. He knew the boys would be chasing after him, and he didn't care at all.

He couldn't go home in this state. He couldn't go to any of their houses either, they're parents would call. Maybe he could hide in the studio? It was his best shot right now.

Maybe it was luck, maybe it was adrenaline, but he made it to the studio without any of the boys seeing him. Without much thought, he ran up the stairs to the loft and curled up into a ball.

They.... Cared about him.... Right? Or were they going to leave him, just like everyone else. Oh god, they were. They couldn't deal with his shit, it wasn't their problem. It wasn't their job to look after his broken self. He should leave, they wouldn't want him in their studio. They wouldn't want him in their band. They wouldn-

"Reg! Reggie are you in here". It was Alex. Reggie glanced over the railing at him. Maybe his luck wasn't the best, because that's when Alex decided to look up.

"Reggie thank god, I thought we'd lost you" He said softly as he climber the stairs

Reggie just looked up at the taller boy with big, brown eyes as Alex pulled him into a tight hug, sitting down next to him.

"Look, Reg, I'm not gonna force you to tell me anything, but we care about you. We want to know when things are getting bad again"

"I-" Reggies voice cracked and he shut his mouth. He didn't want to sound so broken. He silently wiped some of the concealer off of his face, and then took off his flannel and chucked it on the floor, revealing his bruised arms.

"Reg" Alex said with a softness that was reserved for him "I'm not letting you go back there"

"I- I have to"

"No" Alex said in a way that Reggie knew was useless to argue against.

Reggie sat, letting himself be pulled in to Alex's side. He ran his thumb over some of the too clean scars.

Alex glanced down, then have him a knowing look. "That wasn't.. That wasn't your dad was it"

Reggie shook his head, letting more tears spill out onto his wrists.

Suddenly Luke and Bobby were yelling from below them. They didn't have the... Softer touch that Alex had, but he could hear the concern in their voices.

"Up here!" Alex said, just loudly enough. He knew how much shouting affected the boy tucked beneath his arm.

Luke ran up the stairs quickly, and shoved himself on Reggies other side.

"You know we love you, right" He said, muffled by Reggies arm, which he was hugging tightly.

Reggie stayed silent. In truth, he didn't want to believe him. He didn't want to let them love him. He didn't want to hurt them.

"Yeah" maybe the first honest thing he'd said all night.

Bobby was never very affectionate, but he joined into their group hug, half to comfort Reggie, and half to make sure he didn't try to go back to his house.

Not home.

This was home.

The next day, when Reggie snuck into his house to get clothes, he chucked away his concealer.

[bioodorange]

|| CreepyPastas In Love ||

I can guarantee these are NOT what you think!! Also TRIGGER WARNING!! Sexual and Violent themes ahead

Let me know if I should make any of these into stories! Or make another part for other characters!

Jeff The Killer

Jeff can barely manage himself and his mental state, let alone someone else.

His mindset is stuck somewhere in between "fourteen year old boy" and "psychotic time bomb"

Whoever he fell for is one unlucky son of a bitch

They're most likely a police officer or another non human being

Someone involved in his killings but not completely in harm's way

Perhaps their working the case of his latest murder or maybe someone he ran into

Whatever it is he's infatuated

Jeff would most likely be interested in someone confident, smart and stable

Those struggling financially or emotionally are off the table

It'd probably start off with watching, this man isn't known for his patience but people can change when they're curious

He'd probably get a feel for what you were like, how you treated others

Those who are brash or shove people around will be disregarded, who likes a bully?

But he wouldn't like someone soft spoken and bashful either

Someone courageous, with just enough passion to keep his interest

Watching would become stalking, following you to work and maybe even walking around your house. He just wants to learn

He gets comfortable, maybe it's one to many missing things from your fridge or the smell of blood on your couch

You know something is wrong

Being more cautious, you step lighter in the halls, close your blinds when you change

But it's okay

He can see you from the closet

This would continue on his infatuation and attachment growing

He doesn't understand the feelings, he just knows you belong to him

Things start to go missing, clothes from the laundry or books from your shelves

Maybe the cat you fed each morning turns up on dead on your porch

People from work stop showing up

Your friends don't wanna speak to you anymore

Until one day their gone

You lost your job- the company shut down

People were to scared to work there

And then the police show up at your door

It can't be a coincidence that you're the only one left, the only link connecting the mutilated bodies and missing posters that decorate the streets

Whoever is doing this is dangerous

And he's ready to take you

It wasn't the breaking glass or the pressure on your sides that woke you up

It was the warm breath on your face

Opening your eyes a pale man with ratty, dark hair is staring down at you

The smile carved into his face isn't half as creepy as his real grin

He can finally have you

He read your favorite books and talked to all of your friends

He knew your sizes, passwords and all of your favorite things

And now you were going to leave him

Everyone he'd known had left him

His parents, his brother his friends

You weren't going to leave him to

In an instant, he acted

A sharp pained flooded your chest and you could feel your skin scream

Raspy words and choked breathe filled the room

Blood poured from your mouth and your body twitched with the last bit of energy it had left

You were finally his

The dark haired man pulled the blade from his lovers chest and dropped it onto the bedroom floor

Wrapping his arms around the lifeless corpse he was finally happy

Sheets turned from red to white as your body lost color

The man slept there, body secure in his arms all night

The morning after he rolled out of bed, and crept out the window

There was no one to find your body, no one to take you away to

You were his

He'd made sure of it

Ticci Toby

Teenagers are some of the most difficult people out there

Hormones, rebellion and shit decisions all rolled into

Sprinkle some trauma in there and you've got one unlucky child

One of these unlucky people would be Toby Rogers

Toby is naive and lacks a lot in basic memories of human interaction and grew up with little social interaction

Not to mention he's quite young for a proxy and was never put through harsh training

Though his skills are sharp, his self control is not

Despite being a serial killer Toby is still a touch starved teenage boy

So, it's not uncommon that he follows a pretty girl home or maybe lingers a bit to watch someone change

This mans an emotional wreck and all that's channeled into his physical behavior

So, when someone special really sticks out to him, they're in for a ride

This poor soul is most likely someone he spotted during a solo mission, perhaps a friend of whoever he had to kill that night

So, just like every other time he'd find your home the next day

Something about the view from your back yard was just so, infatuating to him

Maybe it was because you're puffy eyes and tearstained cheeks gave him a sense of power,

Or that your clothes were a bit to small and at just the right angle to get him thinking

Whatever it was, it filled his head with unsavory ideas

Let's just say the term "mate like rabbits" heavily applies to the next few nights for Toby

Now this man is not patient nor is he sure how to handle it

So how does he do it? Head on!

This man doesn't care about your interests or your family he just knows your perfect

Even though you lost a dear friend you still take care of others and keep your life together

There's a natural softness about you that makes anger just melt away

His favourite times are when you sit in bed half naked laughing as you talk on the phone

Your face is so expressive..

And you're so open with your emotions

It's perfect

One afternoon he comes over, barely thinking before smashing a window and going inside

Well, he should have checked the drive way

There's no one home

A bit disappointed the man uses this chance to walk around, check things out

He soon realizes he won't be able to take you with him and forms a plan

It's early evening when you come home, the day was great and just what you needed

Until you see the shattered window

Thankfully you don't scream, Toby's fast enough to clasp a gloved hand over your mouth and drag you upstairs

The man is slim but he easily lifts you off the ground and your hits don't seem to be doing a thing to him

Tirelessly trying to escape, you don't notice you're in your own room until you feel the familiar material of your blanket

Everything seems unreal as you look around the room, trying to avoid the twitching man on top of you

Your room is clean yet it's obvious things are disheveled, he didn't have much care for your stuff

He just wanted you

Toby doesn't say much he just behind moving, grinding his hips against yours roughly a choked moan comes from your lips

Tears prick your eyes and sobs escape your mouth

Pleas of help fall on deaf ears as clothing is pulled away, piece by piece

Any sense of pleasure is forgotten about, drowned out by your feeling of utter repultian

After it all the man ties you up, half naked and screaming the best you can with a sore throat

If you can't come with him you'll wait for him

You do belong together after all

[iyatsumu]

ABYSS; SHOTO TODOROKI

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Word Count: 2.9K

Trigger Warning: Mentions of blood and abuse

Author’s Note: Hello everyone! It’s been so long since I last updated the blog but I’ve been so busy with classes and moving into a new house that I simply couldn’t squeeze this into the schedule. But I have a Shoto fic for you all. This is a repost because I realized there were too many confusions in the story. Also, in this story, Shigaraki will be a tad bit older prolly around his early 40s. Enjoy and please remember to take care of yourselves!

"When will you get it together Shoto? Stop making a fool out of me and my name!" You were all too familiar with the booming voice on the other side of the door. Knocking on the door, you pushed it slightly to reveal a man who was surrounded with flames of fire, his back facing you. In front of him was a boy with dual-colored hair. His head was hung low as his father whipped his head back to look at you. "I'm very sorry to interrupt, but Sir Aizawa is looking for Todoroki." You said, trying your best not to sound nervous. As much as you'd love to deny it, Endeavor's presence always seemed to shake you to your bones. Endeavor turned towards Todoroki once more and sent him one last glare before leaving the room. As soon as the door slammed shut, you looked at Shoto. He was frowning, rage was evident in his eyes as he stood up and glared at you. "What?" He asks, venom lacing in his voice. "Don't give me that attitude Todoroki. Your hatred is not towards me but instead to your father, and I didn't come here to save you from his stupid lecture. Sir Aizawa is requesting your presence in his office." You said and threw a shirt at him. 

You turned around and directed your attention at the burnt marks on his wall, probably caused by his outbursts whenever his father comes around to threaten him. Endeavor and his hunger for being the best always drags him into Todoroki's room to scold him whenever he loses to Bakugo or Midoriya. The rivalry between the three most powerful students in your grade started during the first year of high school. You had just transferred midway through the school year with a recommendation from a number of Pro Heroes whom your mother worked for. In the span of 6 months, you had managed to climb into the high ranks of the year level with your outstanding performance in academics. As for the field of physical traits and using your quirks, you tried to stay in the sidelines. Doing just the bare minimum in order to avoid getting in between the rivalry of the three boys. Despite trying to hide your quirk, the teachers and some students like your close friends such as Momo and Uraraka, admit that your quirk is very powerful, even on par with 75% of the Pro Heroes in the country. However, you never let it get to you and you had always tried your best to keep it down, afraid of exposing your true identity, and possibly putting your friends and other people at risk. "I'm done. What does Sir Aizawa need?" You turned to face Todoroki who was now fully changed into something more casual and cleaner. He stood up and both of you exited his dorm room. "Not sure, he simply told me to get you from your room and we had to head to his office." You said and walked alongside Todoroki in silence. --- "Ryota, Todoroki. Take a seat." Your teacher, Sir Aizawa instructed as he walked over to his table. You and Todoroki made yourself comfortable on the plush sofa of his office. "I called you both here because as your teacher, I thought the two of you would be best suited to represent our class in the upcoming competition to be held a few weeks from now. The event is for a pair, male and female, of each class per year level to compete with other pairs. The B class has decided on Itsuka Kendo and Neito Monoma. I understand that you might be confused as to why I have decided on both of you. I have no doubt that Midoriya and Bakugo have potentials to win, however it is dangerous to put Midoriya out for he still has no control over his power and Bakugo's competitiveness could harm other contestants and without a doubt, also his partner. Todoroki, I trust that you can control the limit of your quirk and Ryota, I want you to showcase your quirk." Shit. "Is there no one else that could substitute me as Todoroki's pair?" You asked and Aizawa stood from his seat. He knew how you felt about your quirk and he had expected you to decline the idea. However, majority of the teachers have seen only glimpses of your power and they asked Aizawa to let you on the field some time. "I would've paired Todoroki with Yaoyorozu. But she insisted that you would be far more suitable compared to her." He said, patting your back. "So, what do you say? Are you both okay with this?" "Yeah." Todoroki answered dryly. He had never seen a good glimpse of your quirk, and this was a good chance to understand it and see how powerful you really were. Todoroki always had a hunch that you were far more powerful than what you seem to be. He admired the control you had over your quirk, how you were able to manipulate it to hide its destructiveness. No ordinary person would get into UA with multiple recommendations from Pro Heroes. Aizawa turned to look at you, hoping for you to accept the idea. You sighed and stood up, "Fine, but I am not missing classes just to train." You spoke. "Both of you will have special schedules wherein you are excused from hero training, just for this competition." Aizawa said and with that you nodded. "Now, with that aside, make sure to train well and you may now leave." He said and ushered both you and Todoroki out of his office. You huffed the moment the door was closed, and turned to head into your dorm room. "Hey where are you going?" Todoroki asked, following behind you. "It's Saturday, I'm going to my room and sleeping. Good bye." You said and continued walking. "Sleeping? Aren't you going back home or doing anything else?" He asked, still set on following you. "My mom won't be home until Wednesday, so I have no reason to be home and no, I am taking this moment to isolate myself from Bakugo's booming voice and hopefully from you as well." You turned and smiled sarcastically at him. "Your mom is Maki Ryota, right? The well-known researcher who studies quirks and how to manipulate them." He asked and you stopped walking to face him. "Yes. Look Shoto, I really need to rest so if you would, please leave me alone." You said and left him standing at the hallway. --- "Todoroki, Ryota. Get changed into your training uniform and proceed to the training grounds." Aizawa's voice rang through the speakers inside the classroom. Bakugo's eyes widened and sat up straight on his seat, clearly curious as to why you and Todoroki had training. "Training? For what?" He asked, his gruff voice did nothing to hide the curiosity in his tone. "Shoto and Y/N will represent our class in the Year 2 Duo Competition." Momo said and Bakugo slammed his hands on his desk, igniting explosions from his palm and fingers. "Ha? Why Half n' Half and the brat?" He shouted, Todoroki shook his head and grabbed his uniform from his bag. "Your attitude towards this proves Sir Aizawa's point as to why you were not chosen." You said and was about to walk out when Bakugo shot out a blast of his quirk towards your way. Feeling the heat coming towards you, your hand extended out and opened up a black hole with purple linings that sucked in Bakugo's explosion and the hole dispersed into nothing once more. Everyone was shocked at the situation that unfolded in front of them. No one had been able to withstand Bakugo's explosions without stumbling back, and with such quick reflexes. "Holy shit. Who knew Y/N could be so manly?" Kirishima yelled in awe as he fisted his arms in the air. "Damn you, you brat!" Bakugo shouted and sent an even bigger blow towards you. Before you could react, a huge shard of ice appeared in front of you. You glared at the boy who was beside you, an annoyed look played on his face. "Enough of these childish games, let's go Y/N." He said and dragged you out of the classroom. "When you get back here, let's duel Y/N. Fucking brat!" Bakugo's voice echoed through the hallway as Todoroki kept his tight grip on your arm. "Hey let go, your fingers are cold, it's causing bruises on my skin!" You writhe and Todoroki finally let go. You rub the bruised arm and glare at him. "Why do you even try to fight with him?" He asked, and places his hand on your arm once again. He regulates the temperature of his finger, the heat kissing the pain away from your skin. "I don't. I was simply stating a fact and defended myself after he tried to blow me up." You answered as both of you entered the training ground. In the middle of the cemented ground was Aizawa and Present Mic. "Welcome youngsters into your first training, we will try our best to shape you into your best selves before your competition. Are you both ready?" Present Mic greets, using his quirk to enhance the volume of his voice. "We're supposed to do what exactly?" You asked and Present Mic laughs at your question. "We know both of you are more than ready, so you and Todoroki will try to defeat me and Aizawa." He said and you stare at Todoroki in shock. "Start!" You were startled when Present Mic announced and suddenly Aizawa's binding cloth unwrapped around him and made its way towards you. You jumped out of place and landed a few meters away from Todoroki who already set a barrier of ice which protected him from Present Mic's voice. "That won't do! Present Mic's quirk can shatter even your ice." You told Todoroki and pulled him out of the way. "How do we avoid Present Mic's quirk and be out of sight of Eraser Head?" He asked, trying his best to keep composure. You scratched your head and peeked out from another barrier Todoroki created. "This is going to take a toll on my body but fuck it." You said and grabbed his hand. You created a big hole that was enough for both of you to pass through and shoved Todoroki into the hole. "Where are we?" He asked and you raised your arm to feel the air. Both of you were in darkness, pure nothingness.   "Welcome to Abyss, this is my quirk." You said and pulled him along, continuing to walk around in the darkness. "Abyss? I thought your quirk was sucking up powers?" Todoroki asked. "No, my quirk is somewhat like a portal that leads you to a different dimension. I pushed us in here because this was the only way to escape Present Mic's quirk. In order to counter his voice, you must be layers apart. Now I need to locate Sir Aizawa and pull him down here." You said, feeling around the darkness. "What good will that do us if you pull him down here?" Todoroki asked stumbling on his feet. "In Abyss, your quirks are rendered unusable. Only I can use my quirk in Abyss." You explained and halted at a certain point. "Here, I can feel Sir Aizawa's presence just above this point." You said and concentrated in creating another hole underneath Aizawa's feet. "Wait, even if we pull him down here, he still has his binding cloth." Todoroki grabs your hand before you could fully create a hole. "Great fucking job Shoto Todoroki. Now Sir Aizawa is aware of the hole I created and is moving away." You huffed and wandered around again. "It's not my fault you are being reckless Y/N." He defends and follows behind you. "You may think that, but there's much more Abyss has to offer other than being a quirk nullifying dimension. Now stop fucking getting in the way and just trust me." You snapped and stopped midway. "I have no choice but to make the ground a huge hole." You said and sat down, concentrating on your plan. After a few seconds, Present Mic and Aizawa dropped into Abyss, clearly confused at the foreign place. Present Mic, being unable to use his quirk, could be heard calling out to Aizawa from the distance. A white cloth seemed to extend forward and wrapped around Todoroki's leg before getting dragged away. Before Todoroki could be within Aizawa's reach, a slash came and tore the binding cloth. "What the hell?!" Aizawa shouted in disbelief and tried to come forward again with another cloth. The slashing came one after another and soon enough, Aizawa was exhausted. "Let's get out of here Todoroki." You grabbed him and opened a hole that led back to the training grounds. "What about Eraser Head and Present Mic?" Todoroki asked the moment you both landed back on the training ground. You sat down and touched your hands on the ground. "What are you doing?" He asked. "What I meant by my previous statement, is that Abyss can be controlled by me. I can alter whatever happens inside the dimension, an example is sending troops from abyss to attack the people who are trapped in it. I could also blow the place up." And with that, Present Mic and Aizawa appeared back on the training grounds with burnt marks all over their bodies. You smiled and walked towards them. "Are we done now?" You asked and Aizawa groaned. "Well done students. You may now rest up and be back for your afternoon classes." Aizawa said and stood up to exit the training ground, his arm resting on his bruised stomach. --- "Another failure Shoto! How could you lose to a low-ranking Pro Hero? And a girl protected you? This is not how I raised you. I didn't raise a failure who relied on a girl for protection!" Once again, you could hear Endeavor scold Todoroki in the corner of a hallway, isolated from other students and teachers. You had just gotten out of the bathroom to wash your face after your training, and the rumors of your training with Todoroki spread across the school and Pro Heroes quickly. As soon as Endeavor heard that he was not able to do much against Present Mic and Eraser Head, he immediately made his way to UA and give his son another stupid lecture. You didn't want to get in the way of their conversation but you really had to get to class. Hanging your head low, you tried to walk past them, but oh was the world mad at you. "You're the girl who beat Eraser Head and Present Mic huh?" Endeavor says, his voice deep enough to drown you. You stopped in your tracks and turned to look at him and nod. "You lost to this girl right here Shoto? What a disgrace!" He fisted his arm and tried to land a punch on Todoroki but your reflexes were far quicker and you caught his fist in your arm. "Oh, what is this? Look Shoto, a girl trying to defend you? Pathetic." He tried to apply more force into his fist but you didn't waver and gripped his fist. You could see the fabric of his gloves turning into ash. Endeavor thought that this was similar to someone's quirk. Tomura Shigaraki's Decay. "It seems that the rumors were true. You are the daughter of an abomination, Tomura Shigaraki's child. Y/N Shigaraki. Your mother fell in love with a damn villain and had you." You shook at his words and activated Abyss, his hand getting sucked into the dark dimension. You manipulated Decay on your foot and kicked Endeavor, causing him to stumble away and an evident bruise on his stomach. Your Decay was something a little different to your father's, whereas you could manipulate it to work on different parts of your body that could make contact with someone else. Grabbing Todoroki's arm, you pulled him out of the training grounds and away from his damn father. "I don't need your pity or your help." Todoroki said and pulled away from you. You stared at him in disbelief and scoffed. "My father was right. I am a failure for having someone like you protect me." He spat and you felt tears prick your eyes. This was the reason why you never wanted to show your quirks to anyone. Chances of them finding out that you were Tomura Shigaraki's daughter would stir trouble. No one would ever want to be friends with someone whose father was a murderer and villain. "And I was wrong to think that saving you from your father was a good idea. Both of you are alike, fucking jerks." You said and left him standing in the hallway. You walked quickly into your room, trying to ease the burned skin caused by Endeavor's fist surrounded with fire. A droplet of blood escaped your mouth as the after effects of Abyss chased after you. Todoroki was just like everyone else. He was a jerk whose pride was far more important than his emotions and friends. You were foolish to even think that you could be a good pair to represent the class in the competition. You hated him. Very much. As you bled out in your room, a certain someone was left motionless in the hallways. Tears stung his eyes as he realized his mistake. As you tried frantically to ease the burnt skin on your arm and wiping away the blood from your lips, Todoroki tried his best to compose himself and apologize. But he knew that by doing so, you still wouldn’t forgive him. May luck simply be on his side during the competition.

[concussed-to-pieces]

Her Dove, His Falcon, Their Shield Part Two

Fandom: Game Of Thrones

Pairing: Oberyn/Reader/Ellaria

Rating: Holy shit M.

AN: Disclaimer for Game Of Thrones writing here! Hello everyone, welcome to the next installment! I hope you're all doing well. Thank you so much for being here. Enjoy!

Tag List: @culturalrebel @huliabitch @absurdthirst @helplessly-nonstop @lackofhonor @the-feckless-wonder @cyaredindjarin @thesadvampire @robin-writes @buckysalefty

Part One

[!TRIGGER WARNING!: This installment contains allusions to previous abuse, non-graphic mentions of pregnancy/labor and birth, and threesome antics. Stay safe!]

"Again!" Oberyn demanded, wiping the sweat off his brow. 

You feinted left, then right, the butt of your pike nearly striking the prince in the ribs before he danced out of the way. You grunted, discouraged by the fact that you still weren't fast enough to catch him. You had been closer that time though…

The prince laughed, the noise in and of itself immensely galling. "Perhaps if you land a blow on me today, my newest daughter will bear your name!" He taunted. "Shieldove Sand has such a ring to it."

You leveled your pike at him. "Save your teasing for your courtiers, Prince Oberyn!" You snarled, "I am in no mood for your damned japery at my expense!"

"Hold." Oberyn ordered sharply. 

You slumped a little, your grip on the pike loose now. "I...I apologize, your highness." 

"You are concerned about her." It wasn't a question and you well understood that.

"I am." You allowed softly. 

Ellaria had gone into labor several hours before and Oberyn had specifically sought you out for some particularly grueling training. His smile was tight-lipped as the two of you squared off in the empty training courtyard. You knew he was worried as well, but you were bordering on frantic. 

Oberyn's heavy sigh took you by surprise. "I would give every breath in my body to be there with her, but I am told it is an excessively messy affair. She does not wish for me to see her birth." He said bluntly. "Every time it is like this. Every time I am caged, constantly pacing, driving myself mad with thoughts that grow more and more dark as the hours pass." 

You bit your lip and then laid a hand on his shoulder. "I am sorry Oberyn, I didn't mean to imply that...I know I am not the only one who fears for her safety." You apologized timidly.

He covered your hand with his own, thumb rubbing over your knuckles idly. "You called me Oberyn." He mused after a moment. You flinched, but he kept your hand where it was. "I am glad, my falcon. It heartens me to know that you think of her as I do." 

"We can do naught but pray for her safety and keep ourselves busy until she requires you once again." You pointed out, desperate to change the subject so he wouldn't dwell on your error of addressing him by his given name. "I must train even harder, for what if the new babe is like your Sand Snake Elia?"

Oberyn burst out laughing, bumping his forehead into yours. "Truly, what if! We will have no choice but to rally the guard at that point. No one will be safe." You couldn't help your smile when he looked at you, his eyes crinkling with mirth. "Thank you for the levity, my falcon." 

"I live to serve, your highness."

He sighed heavily, knocking the butt of his spear against the ground. "How many times must I insist you call me Oberyn?" The prince began to back away, his spear twirling easily in his deft hands. You shook your head ruefully and did not reply, your own weapon in a low defensive position. "Prepare yourself, Ser Shieldove! You face the Red Viper of House Martell!" He announced with a grand flourish, charging in afterwards.

You easily parried his first strike, and dodged his second. The third rasped against your chain mail loudly, making the prince grin triumphantly before you brought the haft of your pike up and threw him back a step. "Too cocky, princeling!" You admonished, startling another laugh out of him. "You'll have to do better than that!" 

Your pike thrust out and he slipped around it like the snake he was, his own mail clicking with the sharpness of his motions. You scoffed, swinging the shaft instead to finally catch him firmly in the ribs. The prince staggered, but quickly took advantage of your shock as his spear jabbed low, aiming for your legs. 

At the pressure of meeting your body, the safety binding around the blade of the spear tore slightly. You felt something catch on the inside of your unarmored thigh when Oberyn snapped his wrist back, his spear singing through the air with the speed of his retreat. You caught his next attack with the palm of your hand around the haft of his spear, halting the blow before it could land. "Mind your blade." You warned, tipping your head to the now-exposed metal at the head of his spear.

Oberyn nodded, then his eyes widened. As he strode forward, your thigh began to sting. You glanced down, startled by the amount of blood that already darkened your hose. Oberyn shoved you back a step with the force of his approach, his fingers tearing at the laced placket on your trews. 

"W-What are you doing?!" You protested, your voice pitched abnormally high out of fear as you slapped your hands down over his own to still them. He was too close, why was he-

"I have just slit your leg open and you ask what I'm doing? I should have made you wear your cuisses, I am a fool." He hissed, "Sparring with you while we are both in turmoil was me tempting fate, and now you...have…"

His words faded after he gave up on your placket and simply tore the hole in your hosiery a bit wider, exposing more of your bare thigh. You closed your eyes tightly, not wanting to see his face.

"Ser Shieldove, what are these marks from?" Oberyn queried after a moment, his trembling fingers grazing one of the many silvered scars.

"Pinching, Prince Oberyn." You answered softly.

"Pinching." His voice was flat with disbelief.

"When I would make noise or cry out during, Prince Oberyn." 

"Gods, what?" Oberyn breathed. 

You shrugged helplessly. "He did much worse to others. I was useful." You were certain he must be staring at you, but you could not bring yourself to meet his eyes. 

His arms wrapped around your shoulders and he embraced you, pulling you into his chest and resting his forehead against your temple. "That is...barbarous, monstrous." He seethed. "To so boldly attempt to rob you of any delight you might ever have--I tremble with rage!" His laugh was sardonic, bitter, and he was indeed shaking. "So that you can feel the echoes of his lecherous manhandling, every time you bathe or dress?"

"I do not believe he expected me to escape." You admitted, startled by his rough inhale of breath. "I believe he expected me to perish one of those nights, but I was hardier than his usual playthings."

"No more, falcon." Oberyn whispered. "Please. My heart breaks at the notion of you enduring such heinous treatment." He kissed your forehead and you flushed. This was far removed from his usual lighthearted flirting! He sounded distraught, burying his face in your neck as he continued to hold you.

My heart breaks…

Slowly, hesitantly, you raised your hands to rest on his back. Your fingers fumbled for purchase momentarily on his armor. If he merely sought you out for comfort because Ellaria was indisposed, then comfort him you would. Somehow. "I have survived him, however." You sighed. "And thanks to you, he will not harm anyone ever again."

"It feels like too little in the wake of his reign of terror." Oberyn muttered. "I did it solely for my sister, for the dashed body of my infant nephew and the slaughter of my niece, but had I stopped to think about the debt that man must have wracked up with his nightmarish actions…" He trembled again. "It is as though I was picked by the gods themselves to strike him down. Why me, I wonder?"

His palm covered the wound he had created, pressing down steadily as he helped you hobble to the nearby bench. "You worry too much!" You waved off his concern, peering at the wound. It was deeper than you had anticipated, but it was still hardly a scratch to someone like yourself. "This parchment cut shall not fell me. Unless you've poisoned your blade, Red Viper?"

"Never!" Oberyn protested. "I would not gamble so foolishly on naught but a simple sparring match, Ser Shieldove."

"You do loathe losing." You teased. "You must tell your daughters I died valiantly, cursing your name while choking on my own spittle or something equally as glorious."

"It would be a death for the history books." Oberyn assured you, the furrow of his heavy brow lessening somewhat as he seemed to realize that you would be alright. 

A servant skittered around the corner of the hallway leading to the training yard, her gauzy skirts bunched up in her hands so she could run freely. "Prince Oberyn!" She called, gasping for breath. 

The prince whirled and you lunged to your feet, your leg forgotten. "Speak, girl!" Oberyn demanded of the servant, who had obviously run quite a fair bit in order to find him.

"Baby--Ellaria wants--come now-" The girl panted, gesturing vaguely behind her.

Oberyn was still for a moment, like he was frozen. You placed a hand on his rear and gave him a gentle shove, saying, "tell her no matter what happens, I am proud of her, Oberyn." The prince nodded hurriedly, shaking off his daze and bolting down the hall.

You grimaced. Hopefully, no one would question the blood that stained his hand and vambrace! You decided your best option would be to retreat to your quarters to dress your wound and wait, on the off chance that the prince or his paramour would deign to summon you.

You had hoped that the sparring would help you expend some of your nervous energy, but it did not seem that luck was on your side. You found yourself endlessly restless, pacing back and forth beside your pallet as the sun slowly sank. The bells for the evening meal rang out, but you ignored them. 

You finally lit your lantern and settled down into the chair beside your bed, focusing on the flame that flickered in the glass panes. It was an old exercise, but comforting in its familiarity. You let your mind empty, let everything drift away until all that remained was the candle and yourself. 

All I ask is that they are healthy, whole and strong. You were uncertain of who you prayed to in these times of meditation, daring to surmise that you prayed to anyone who might be listening. All I ask is that Ellaria is well, and the baby is well. Your brow furrowed. Please.

You did not know how much time passed while you were in prayerful contemplation, only realizing how sore your back was when the door to your quarters was thrown open. The sudden motion made you flinch in surprise, looking up. It was that same servant, the young girl, her face alight. "The prince and his lady have sent for you, Ser Shieldove!" she chirped. 

Thank you, you threw your heartfelt gratitude to whoever might be responsible before snuffing out the candle.

Clad in only light hose and undertunic, you raced through the maze of outer hallways with all the speed and eagerness of a child. As you approached the birthing chambers, however, you attempted to calm your thundering heart and turbulent mind, slowing to an undignified jog.

The guard at the door saluted you stiffly, opening the door after a moment of floundering with his gauntlets. You crept into the room, closing the door gingerly behind you and then turning to survey the scene. 

The first thing you noted was Ellaria sound asleep in the lavishly-structured bed, her arms supporting a swaddled, tiny babe hungrily mouthing at her breast. You heaved a sigh of relief, slumping back against the door. The next thing you saw was Oberyn beside the bed, still in his armor, with a second swaddled bundle cradled in his embrace.

The prince looked up at you and you saw that his eyes were glassy with tears. "I have been blessed." He said hoarsely.

"Two?" You whispered, barely able to believe it yourself. 

Oberyn nodded, beckoning you closer. "Come see my first son, Ser Shieldove." He implored, his voice breaking. No longer caring if you seemed overeager, you strode across the chamber to the prince's side. Oberyn tugged at the swaddling by the babe's face, allowing you a clear view. 

"Oh." You sighed wistfully, reaching out to touch his sweet little nose before you remembered your manners and snatched your hand back. This was a Sand, after all, and the firstborn boy no less!

Oberyn tilted his head towards the washbasin beside the bed. "Wash yourself, and you may hold him."

"A-Are you sure? What if I...gods, he is so small, Prince Oberyn." You whispered. Oberyn just nodded, gesturing to the basin again. You obliged him rapidly but thoroughly, washing yourself to your elbows and then patting your arms dry with the clean towel. You returned and you were confronted with the reality of a slumbering, swaddled babe being deposited into your arms. 

"Cradle his neck, rest him upon your breast. The little ones have no real strength to hold themselves up." Oberyn instructed you softly, moving your hands until the baby was secure against your chest. "Look at him, just look." The prince didn't seem to be able to stop marveling at his new son, drawing a whisper-soft finger down the bridge of his wee nose. You were almost worried about the excessive attention he was giving to the boy, when he abruptly turned back to Ellaria. "Now, precious daughter, are you sated?" He cooed. Gods, domesticity suited him, armor and all. "Will you grant your poor mother respite? She has toiled long to bring you to my arms." 

"Too long." Ellaria agreed, smiling wearily up at Oberyn. He kissed her forehead, losing the battle with his tears. "Do not cry, lover!" His paramour chided him as he sniffled. 

"I am the most blessed man in all of Dorne and you would have me be stoic, woman? This one time, I'm afraid I cannot acquiesce!" Oberyn huffed, carefully scooping his sleeping daughter off of Ellaria's chest. You stifled your own giggles at the prince's petulant behavior, swaying back and forth idly.

Ellaria glanced up at the sound of your snorting, her eyes barely open as she smiled at you. "I am glad you're here, Ser Shieldove. I know my little ones will be safe now." She mumbled, obviously moments from falling back to sleep. 

You nodded, chuckling at Oberyn's indignant grumble. The baby in your arms stirred and you began to sing softly, not wanting to disturb Ellaria. "The moon rides sand dunes home to me, she calls me sweetly by name. I am a child, a child of Dorne, the moon she knows my name." You crooned, still swaying to and fro in an attempt to lull the babe back to sleep. "The sun rides sea waves home to me, he calls me proudly by name. I am a child, a child of Dorne, the sun he knows my name." You continued to hum the tune, even as you felt the little one relax against your chest.

"How do you know that song?" Oberyn whispered.

You glanced up, but his expression was guarded. "I heard one of the older knights singing it and I asked him to teach me. He said it was a child's song." You replied, whispering as well. "I simply liked the tune. Should I not sing it?"

"I have not heard that song since I was only knee-high myself. I had all but forgotten it." Oberyn's eyes were thoughtful, the prince studying you closely. "You are full of surprises, my falcon. It gives me a certain joy to know that the first song my babes ever heard was Moon And Sun." His brow furrowed. "I cannot recall the third verse, the one about the stars."

"The stars crown mountains high above, unbowed, unbent, unbroken. We are the stars, the stars of Dorne, the world will know our name." You prompted softly.

"You have a lovely voice, my dove. Perhaps you are a nightingale?" Oberyn teased. "I shall ask you to perform at their naming."

"Your mockery always wounds me so deeply, your highness." You deadpanned. Tiny fingers wrapped around your index and you looked down, but the child's eyes were still closed. "I have been seized, it appears." You said with a smile, laying a careful kiss on the baby's head. 

Oberyn cleared his throat suspiciously hard, thumbing away a few stray tears. You chose not to comment, allowing him his moment of paternal weakness.

…

You spread the blanket out on the ground in the blood orange grove, laughing when you caught sight of Dorea clobbering a nearby tree with her child-sized morningstar. "Lady Dorea! I believe you have vanquished that particular foe!" You called.

"Ser Shieldove, there is an orange that I can't reach and it is the best one! I need it for Mama!" She yelled back, bouncing on her toes as she tried to jump for the fruit. You shook your head, making your way through the rows of trees to where she stood. 

The fruit was (probably) just within your grasp if you stood on your tiptoes and braced against the trunk of the tree. You stretched out your arm, reaching upwards and-

Someone's hands landed on your sides, pressing into your armor and lifting you with ease. You managed to grab the orange, laughing when you realized that it was Oberyn who had given you your boost. "Your highness! Thank you for your brave effort." You said with a grateful smile, tossing the orange to Dorea. The little girl tore off towards the blanket you had spread, hollering to the approaching Ellaria that she had the perfect orange for her.

You expected Oberyn to release you with some quip, but oddly, he did not. His touch was not particularly uncomfortable. Firm enough that you could feel it through your armor, but loose enough that you knew you could easily twist free should you desire to. In amongst the sheltering branches of the blood orange tree, the prince caged you against the trunk and studied you intently. 

"Your highness?" You asked softly. "We should return, the children are-" His mouth on your own halted your words and you went stiff. His kiss tasted of fresh blood orange, tangy with citrus and you found yourself enjoying it a fair bit more than you should have, your chest heaving against his own when he finally pulled away.

"My falcon, my dove, shield of the Red Viper's clutch." Oberyn breathed, his pupils blown in the green-dappled light beneath the tree's foliage. "Forgive my impudence. Seeing you with my children stirs my mind to such wicked thoughts."

"Prince Oberyn!" you protested, your traitorous body still reeling from his kiss. But no, you couldn't, Ellaria-- "Please, you must think of your family." You insisted tremulously. "I will not let you ruin the beautiful life you have built for yourself. This...affection, whatever it is you're feeling for me--" You sucked in a sharp breath. "It is nothing but a misplaced infatuation. It will pass. You must consider your children, your highness, a-and Lady Ellaria."

"You truly believe that?" Oberyn asked, but he didn't sound angry. If anything, he sounded hurt. "You believe that I would seek you out due to something so cheap as infatuation? What, simply to exercise the power I have over you?" You shook your head, not trusting yourself to speak. "Your silence is damning, Ser Shieldove. I would never try to wound Ellaria or my children, just as I would never try to wound you. I thought I had made that clear."

His hand carded delicately through your hair, tucking a few loose locks back into your braids. "I do not believe you would purposely seek to hurt me." You amended finally, your gaze firmly fixed on the toes of your boots. "Many men do not realize the harm they cause, either through their actions or their wandering eyes."

"I am not many men." Oberyn replied softly. "I have lain with both men and women, my falcon. I know well the pain of careless touch and I do not abide by it in my partners." He stepped away from you after a moment, shrugging. "If you are so concerned about my infatuation, mayhaps you ought to ask my paramour what she thinks of inviting you into our bedchambers?" He suggested with a feigned attitude of nonchalance.

"Are you mad? Obe-Prince Oberyn, you are hers. There are certain things that one does not do, even as a prince of Dorne." You snapped, your turmoil adding a sharp edge to your voice. 

Oberyn looked startled, then he had the audacity to grin. "I am hers, you say? You insinuate that I ought to receive permission? Then I'll go ask her now-"

"What? No, that's not it at--damn it, Oberyn, take this seriously!" You hissed, wanting to strangle him. "She has borne your children, have some respect for her and don't attempt to stray!"

Oberyn's laughter washed over you and you were torn between the urge to punch him in the gut and the urge to bury yourself alive. "Stray?" He finally sputtered. "Forgive my mirth, my falcon. I am...All I can say is that you really must speak with my paramour. I imagine the two of you will have a highly interesting discussion."

"Oh, of that I am certain." You said icily, stalking past him and heading towards the blanket where Ellaria played with the twins. You bowed stiffly and her eyebrow quirked, as if to ask what's wrong? "I will return to the water gardens, my lady. His highness appears to be in such ferociously high spirits I assume he will be more than up to the task of warding off any attackers."

"Do not leave, Ser Shieldove!" Oberyn boomed directly behind you, making you jump out of your skin. Gods, he could be so quiet! "I will maintain my composure, I give you my word!"

"It is not your composure I worry about." You shot back under your breath, making him struggle vainly to disguise his laughter as a coughing fit. 

Ellaria looked back and forth between her lover and you, her eyes dancing like they did when she and Oberyn enjoyed one of their many secret jokes. "I see you both have been sampling the oranges." She commented pointedly, tapping her lower lip while winking at you. "They do stain so beautifully, don't they lover?"

"But Ser Shieldove has not even had any yet!" Loreza said plaintively, the younger Sand's red-stained fingers tugging at Dorea's hand. "We should get her some."

"Aye, how is it that you have blood orange on your mouth and not a mark on your hands?" Oberyn asked playfully, as if he didn't already know, this was all his fault!

You were back to warring between the two urges and the option to punch Oberyn, while absolutely certain to lead to your immediate incarceration, was looking more appealing by the second. You set your jaw, willing away the tears that were trying to build as Loreza set off with Dorea in tow. "I am--I am leaving now." You said thickly, cursing yourself for the sob that blatantly hitched your words. 

Ellaria immediately noticed your discomfort, her smile vanishing. "Are you well, my dove?" You hiccupped roughly, nodding. Your performance wouldn't have fooled anyone, but Ellaria seemed to take pity on you and allowed you to dismiss yourself. 

You stalked off through the orchard, trying vainly to stem the flow of tears that poured down your face. You finally stopped beneath one of the many trees, sliding down the trunk and wrapping your arms around your knees so you could hide your face as you sobbed. It was incredibly unfair of Oberyn to tease you so maliciously, but what did you expect from a prince? No doubt to him, the common folks' feelings were nothing but toys. Your heart had soared and broken all at once, leaving you feeling bruised and aching. 

The summer of being wanted, desired by someone, the winter of knowing that giving in to them would destroy their happiness...

"Ser Shieldove!" You started, looking up. You hadn't noticed Loreza and Dorea returning from their hunt, the two girls arm-in-arm. "What happened? Did you get hurt?" Dorea asked worriedly, making your heart break all over again. "Should we get Mama?"

"Oh, no no!" You tried to assuage their concern, giving the two girls a watery smile while you cast your mind around for a suitable excuse. "I--I saw a bee."

"You're scared of bees?!" Loreza erupted incredulously. "I didn't think you were scared of anything!"

"Not even our papa!" Dorea paused, then added, "but I'm scared of bees too. I got stung once, on my foot. That's why I wear my big boots now." She said importantly, shuffling the aforementioned boots. They did look oversized for her stature. You had never noticed…

An orange was thrust at your face, Loreza blinking solemnly down at you. "We found you a good one. It's ripe, I promise." The two of them plopped down on either side of you like little sentries, Dorea brandishing her tiny morningstar. 

You turned the orange over and over in your hands. "You know, where I am from, these are only for royalty." You began suddenly, digging your nails into the peel. "I had never even touched one before I came to Dorne."

"Never?" Loreza gawked, her own cheeks smeared with red from her feast. "I love oranges. Kumquats. Grapefruits."

"Lemons are better than grapefruits. More spicy." Dorea said firmly. "Like dragon peppers."

"I don't like dragon peppers." Loreza retorted sulkily. "They burn my tongue." 

The two girls bickered around you while you slowly peeled and ate the fruit, your turbulent thoughts calming under the press of the mundane task. You felt foolish for letting your emotions get the best of you; obviously Oberyn only teased you because he knew he would get a reaction! You pushed away the memory of how gently he had tucked your hair back into its braids. It was probably a force of habit for him, having had so many daughters. It meant nothing. 

You tore apart the last two slices of orange and slurped the juice off the heel of your hand, realizing that Dorea and Loreza had gone quiet. A quick look confirmed your suspicions: the two of them were sound asleep. 

You exhaled through your nose, then settled back against the tree. You eased Loreza down into your lap, stroking over her hair absently. The little girl yawned, but did not move. Dorea slumped into your arm and you carefully wrapped it around her instead, keeping your hand on her shoulder so she didn't topple over. Your own eyelids grew heavy the longer you sat with the two little girls, though you knew you ought to be vigilant for any dangers that could be lurking. Worn out from your crying jag, you slipped from consciousness yourself. 

You were roused what must have been hours later by a cautious touch on your shoulder. You jerked awake, your hand flying to the pommel of your seldom-used sword. "Tis' only me, my dove." Ellaria soothed, her hand resting on your shoulder. "You did not make it back to the water gardens, I see." She nodded downwards at the sleeping child in your lap. 

The sun was hanging low and red on the horizon, casting a pink hue over the land. "Seems I didn't." You yawned indecently wide, then carefully hugged Dorea a bit closer. "The little ones found me an orange fit for royalty to eat, and we spoke of important matters." 

"Oh?" Ellaria arched a brow.

"Bees, my lady. We spoke of bees." 

"Have you found them, my love?" You heard footsteps approaching. "Ah! I should have known." Oberyn continued softly, obviously trying not to wake the twins that slumbered in his own arms. "Safe and sound asleep."

Ellaria roused her daughters, eventually permitting you to get to your feet and work the kinks out of your neck from sitting in such an awkward position for so long. "I believe we should speak." Ellaria murmured, placing her hand on your shoulder once again.

You shook your head violently. "There is naught to speak about, my lady. I assure you, I shall cause you no trouble." You knew that your tone was exceptionally weary, but you hoped she could forgive such indiscretion. 

"Listen to Ellaria, Ser Shieldove." Oberyn demanded. "This is a mistake-"

"I'm well aware that what occurred was a mistake." You interrupted him through gritted teeth. "And as I said, Prince Oberyn, I will cause no trouble for you or your lady."

Oberyn opened his mouth to retort but Ellaria gestured for him to be silent. "Tomorrow, then?" She phrased it like a request, but you knew better than to think you could refuse her.

You bowed perfectly, your form ramrod straight when you saluted her and the prince. Your words were dripping with false sincerity as you stated, "Of course, my lady. I live to serve."

…

The dread that you felt permeated your very marrow. You were certain you would be sent away. What else did one do with a member of their household who was untrustworthy, especially if their partner proved they could not or would not stay away from such temptations?

This was surely the end of your proud career under the banner of House Martell. You were a fool for thinking that you could have been happy here.

You packed your few possessions with an air of sorrowful finality. You hadn't acquired much during your time in these lodgings, your living space admittedly Spartan. When you were summoned, the manservant found you sitting patiently on your bed in your armor, your satchel slouched on the floor. 

"Ser Shieldove, Ellaria Sand requests your presence." The older man droned, raising an eyebrow at your state of preparedness.

You nodded, trying not to let your apprehension show as you thanked him and proceeded out into the hall. Your boots felt like they were lined with lead and your eyes stung from all the heartsick weeping you had done the night before. Your stomach would not cease feverishly knotting. 

All too soon you found yourself at the door to the prince's chambers, raising your hand to knock. You hesitated momentarily, flattening your palm on the door and then resting your forehead against the intricate latticework. Your shoulders heaved with a single, soundless sob before you straightened back up. You would face this trial like all the others in your life, with some bare shred of dignity.

You knocked on the door. Upon hearing Ellaria's voice bidding you to enter, you unhitched the latch and let the door swing open. You ought to have known that Oberyn would be present as well. You weren't sure why seeing him standing on their terrace felt so...final. 

"Ser Shieldove, you come dressed for war." Ellaria remarked, sounding surprised. "Please, set your bag and blade by the door."

"I sought to make my dismissal simple, my lady." Your voice rasped in your throat when you spoke. You made no move to come further into the room, nor did you release your hold on your bag. "We do not need to drag this out, especially not from some misguided desire to soften the blow."

Oberyn turned to look at you, his brow furrowed. But you only had eyes for Ellaria, the woman rising from her vanity to pad barefoot across the floor to you. She stood before you, unarmed, unafraid, her hair still loose around her face. "Why do you believe you were brought here for dismissal, my sweet dove?" Ellaria asked. Gods, gods, her tenderness was going to reave your soul from your body.

You swallowed hard. "I...forgive me, my lady. Please, forgive me. I was weak and permitted my emotions to get the better of me. I did not firmly reprimand Prince Oberyn when he kissed me in the orchard. I take full responsibility for my failure." You bowed your head in grief, your dry eyes burning. "I will not bring shame to your family with my indiscretion, so I come willingly to my dismissal."

"She kisses like a virgin, Ellaria." Oberyn murmured, a hand cupping his paramour's hip and tucking her into his side. "She kisses like she has never been kissed. It was divine."

You flushed hotly, certain that he was mocking you. "I cannot believe your cruelty." You muttered incredulously. "To jest about something like that!"

"Is it true, my little dove?" Ellaria purred, her hand stroking your cheek. "Do you kiss like a virgin?" You stared at her, thoroughly confused now. You did not even notice her other hand cupping your face, utterly transfixed by how close she was. She was so near that you could see there were tiny flecks of gold in the brown of her irises. 

And then she kissed you. 

Your satchel fell off your shoulder, hitting the floor with a muffled thud when you reached out clumsily, gathering the other woman in your arms. She let you, she let you, gods, she was kissing you and that was her tongue teasing your own. You whimpered into her mouth, bewildered and helpless to resist her. 

"I think you are right, lover." Ellaria agreed after she took pity on you and allowed you a moment to breathe. "Hot and trembling and yet so, so eager."

"I...do not understand." You said weakly.

"Oberyn and I found long ago that we share certain proclivities, my dove." Ellaria explained, toying with your hair. "Particularly in the bedroom."

You felt like your mind couldn't catch up to your mouth, stammering, "S-So...wait, the both of you…?" 

Oberyn, his chin resting on Ellaria's shoulder, gave you a sly wink. "Aye, my love has excellent taste." The man tugged Ellaria's dressing gown to the side, baring her shoulder so he could shower it with kisses. "We have a special affinity for strapping, chivalrous types."

"So I'm not...I wouldn't...the-the both of you would know about me?" You stuttered.

"What do you mean, my falcon?" Oberyn asked curiously. 

"Well, I just...I assumed you were seeking me out as a--a secret. Something akin to adultery." Your voice faltered a bit. "B-Behind Lady Ellaria's back." You watched as understanding appeared to dawn on the prince, his brow furrowing darkly.

"Oh no, no no, gentle dove." Ellaria cupped your face with her hands. "We indulge together and we indulge openly. You would not be Oberyn's secret plaything." She assured you sincerely.

"Forgive me, I did not mean to imply that I think so little of you!" You apologized to Oberyn, who still looked somewhat thunderous. "I was distraught and confused, your highness. You know well that I have been wounded before. Please, please forgive me." You wrung your hands fervently. "I would do anything to-"

"Be still, my falcon. You protest overmuch." Oberyn chided, his expression clearing. "If you believe that your simple misunderstanding grieved me, I should hope that you never heard all the terrible, salacious rumors spread about me in King's Landing!" He smirked. "Such imaginative people."

"They certainly had a strange way of slandering you." Ellaria remarked, her lips twitching into a wry smile. "Do you remember what they said about your cock?"

"Oh that one was my favorite." Oberyn, no doubt noticing your horrified look, began to laugh in earnest. "There was a rumor that my cock was the same as a horse's, you understand." He finally managed to explain. "Length, girth, a hearty amount of description went into this tale. I feared I would disappoint, after hearing such an inventive story about myself! Mercifully, none of the lovely women and men in the brothel seemed particularly distressed about me lacking a cock that would outright murder them. One poor girl swooned from relief, timid thing."

"Oh dear." You said faintly. "I mean, the rumors are not wholly unfounded, but perhaps slightly less exaggeration-" You halted abruptly with a sharp squeak of dismay, what had you just said?!

"Flatterer! Always, it's in your blood I'd wager!" Oberyn chuckled, shaking his head. "I believe it is due more to my age, prolific partners and casual promiscuity. No one there could fathom such a thing, though in Dorne we view it as a common practice. That and the unwavering love I had for all my daughters. They claimed I was barking mad. Surely, I ought to be cursing the Seven every time a new girl was born." He scoffed derisively, blowing a raspberry as though he was a child. "Instead of being delighted with a healthy babe to love and spoil, sing songs to and dandle upon my knee. Aye, Prince Oberyn is surely mad."

His hand reached out to cover Ellaria's on your cheek and you closed your eyes, leaning into their joint touch. 

"Gods, is she not the loveliest woman you have ever laid eyes on?" Oberyn mused softly.

"Truly. So strong and brave!" Ellaria answered, making you flush with embarrassment and stare downwards. "Do not shy from such ardent words, my dove! They are spoken in truth, I promise you."

"I do not doubt your sincerity, my lady! It is just...it is overwhelming." You replied honestly. "A part of me is still that terrified woman from King's Landing, trying to barter for passage aboard any vessel willing to take me. That I would be rescued by the two of you…I never could have imagined this, even in my wildest dreams."

"It was a lucky chance that my dear Oberyn spotted you."

"I'd surmise more divine providence, but all the same." You smiled. "Thank you. Both of you. I...I know not what to say."

"Join us in our bed, gentle dove." Oberyn requested, his voice deadly serious. "Join us, my falcon." His hand slid beneath your chin, tugging lightly at your gorget and no doubt feeling your rough swallow. "Let us give you something good to think of on lonely nights when duty calls you elsewhere."

"I--I-I would very much like that, your highness." You whispered. 

His fingers hitched your chin, tipping it upwards so he could see your eyes. "Oberyn." He said softly.

"Oberyn." You allowed yourself to say his name deliberately and he grinned, tugging at your chin playfully before he released you and stepped back.

Ellaria caught his hand, and then extended her own to you. "Leave your sword, my dove."

"The armor as well." Oberyn added, his smile growing wider by the moment as you began to hurriedly oblige. You were thankful that the leathers slid off over your head, but the chainmail shirt took a bit more twisting and turning for you to emerge safely. "Gods, look at her, my love." Oberyn sighed to Ellaria after you had fought your way free of the mail, "the pride of her, the way she stands. I would happily cultivate such splendor."

"You did, Oberyn." You pointed out, fumbling with your cuisses. "You granted me the opportunity, after all."

"Let me help you, my dove." Ellaria murmured, her hands covering your own. You grimaced uncertainly, glancing to Oberyn. "He told me of your markings. I am no pampered princess, Shieldove." The steel in her gaze was undeniable; she dared you to think she would cringe at the sight of your scars. "I bear many of my own marks. The life of a Sand is better than most, but still fraught with its own hardships."

You nodded jerkily, letting her assist you with removing your cuisses, greaves and sword belt before she ran her hand over the laces at your groin. You swallowed hard. "I do not wish to distress you, my lady."

"Only Ellaria here, my dove. Here and everafter." The woman said, her fingers tugging the laced placket loose.

Oberyn sauntered up beside her as she slid her palm to your hip, fingers spread on the hot skin she found there. "Your consent, my falcon?" He breathed against your jaw, placing a trail of kisses over the area. "I seek your enthusiastic consent. I seek to have you undone and crying out in rapture, but first your consent." 

Ellaria's fingers teased at the waistband of your hose and you shut your eyes, gathering your courage. "Yes. Yes, I...I want. I want you both." You managed to say. 

"Open your eyes, knight of House Martell." Oberyn ordered and you obeyed meekly. The prince touched his forehead to your own, his brows pulled low. "Your consent, Ser Shieldove. Look at me while you give it. Look at her while you give it. We need to know. We need to hear it from your lips. No hesitation."

"We will stop if you cannot consent, sweet dove." Ellaria assured you. 

"N-No! No, I do want this, I swear I do. Gods, my head is spinning from how much I want the two of you." You confessed bluntly. "I am unsure of how to proceed. I do not know what to do. Forgive my inexperience." You held out your hands imploringly. "Show me what to do?"

"Never apologize for not knowing." Oberyn said firmly. "All man should ever apologize for is not being willing to learn." He stroked his fingers over your temple, light as a feather's touch on your skin. "And you are so, so willing." He whispered. "You have sought learning your whole life, my dove. Sought to hone your body, hone your spirit with songs and prayer. You have learned how to wield our weapons and cradle our babes with the same willingness that you approach us with now."

Ellaria enfolded your hands in her own as you processed Oberyn's words, each one saved in your heart like a precious treasure. All man should ever apologize for is not being willing to learn. "Will you…" you hesitated, biting your lip. "Will you help me learn?"

"Gods, I would eagerly kiss the breath from your chest." Ellaria sighed, her smile warming you from head to toe. 

"Is it...considered strange that I want the both of you?" You asked warily. "I have never lain with a woman before, b-but I would...I mean, if I could, I would like...I would like to. Attempt to! That is." You fumbled, kissing her knuckles afterwards.

"You wish to drink from the pure springs of my paramour? A bold request. What will you offer me in return for my generosity?" Oberyn's lips brushed your ear and you quivered when he continued, "will you let me touch you as you touch her, my falcon?"

You raised your eyes to meet his, startled by the heat you found there. Did he really feel that strongly about you? You freed one hand from Ellaria and reached out to take hold of his light robe. "If you harm me-" You began to warn him, your voice catching in your throat.

"Sweet dove, he will not." Ellaria assured you, her expression serious. "Neither of us will. I promise you." She cupped your jaw, her thumbs grazing your chin achingly soft. "We of Dorne are known for our passion, but a fire is gentle embers before it is stoked to hungry flame. We will not harm you."

"This incredible, delicious display of vulnerability that you are presenting to us...well, it would be wholly inappropriate to squander such a gift." Oberyn's hand covered yours on his robe, larger fingers lacing easily through your own. "We will bed you, and we will love you, my falcon."

"Do you offer such pleasures to all your knights?" You queried, half in jest as you let him lead you to their sun-drenched bed. 

"Only for the ones who break the Mountain's fingers." Oberyn chuckled, leaving you and Ellaria to settle onto the bed while he went to draw the thin curtains over the entrance to the terrace. 

Ellaria pulled one end of the laces on your placket, her motions teasingly slow and deliberate. The lacing unwound itself, tugging free of the grommets until your sturdy hose were slouching open. Her hand pushed your tunic up slightly, enough to reveal a sliver of your stomach for her to graze her knuckles against, then her lips. Those fingers curled around the hem of your tunic, continuing to drag it upwards to bunch underneath your breasts. 

"Her body looks beautiful like that, my love." Oberyn commented idly from his position at the foot of the bed. "Ser Shieldove, touch her hair, caress her. She loves to be touched while her mouth is occupied."

Your trembling fingers barely grazed Ellaria's luxuriously unbound locks, still smooth from being brushed, and you felt your heartbeat quicken in your chest. "May I…?" Ellaria nodded and you dug your hands greedily into her soft waves, half-sitting so you could press a lock to your lips. "Thank you, Ellaria."  You whispered. 

"Such chivalry! Perhaps we will consider parting with a few locks for you to carry into battle as a token of our affection." Oberyn kissed the crown of your head. "Regrettably, my curls are a bit shorter than hers."

"Mm, yours would make such delightful paintbrushes." Ellaria teased, continuing to cover the skin of your stomach with tender kisses and nips. She bit down gently on the waistband of your hose, looking up at you in question. You nodded rapidly and Oberyn settled into the bed alongside you, the man yawning wide. 

"Watch her now, my falcon." He instructed, his fingers tracing lazy circles on the bare skin of your stomach before this thumb slid beneath your bunched-up tunic. "She is such art, the way she moves. Had I the skill for it, I would write endless poems about the beautiful anticipation she inspires in me." His touch was light, teasing, forefinger and thumb pinched into the fabric of your tunic to ease it off the rest of the way. His other hand shot up to lift and cradle the back of your neck while he divested you of the article of clothing, the inconsequential motion new and gentle to you.

Ellaria rolled the hosiery off down your legs, the light breeches sticking to your heated skin. You were left nearly bare, the only garment still on your body the simple breast binding you used when you were armored. Ellaria hummed in satisfaction, drawing her hands greedily up your trembling form to seize the edge of your bindings. "Be naked for us, gentle dove." She crooned, her sweet voice dissolving your last fear. You placed your hands over her own, helping her to untie the frantically-knotted cloth.

Oberyn hissed out a breath through his teeth when your breasts were finally freed. "Gods, you were made for us." He groaned, "I want to grab handfuls of you and gorge myself on your taste, my falcon." 

Ellaria wasted no time flicking her tongue over the stiff peak of your right breast, smiling when you threw your head back in response. Oberyn lapped sloppily over your left breast and then blew gently on the damp trail, forcing you to bite down on the heel of your palm to keep from making a sound.

Oberyn eased your hand away from your mouth however, grimacing when he saw the marks your teeth had left in the skin. His facial hair felt like pinpricks when he kissed your palm, his eyes solemn. "We crave your sounds, my falcon. We welcome them." He murmured. "You can be as loud or as soft as you want, but do not smother them before they can blossom."

Ellaria toyed with your nipple, rolling her index finger back and forth over it and you whimpered pitifully, blinking back the tears that rose and nodding hard. "I will try, Oberyn."

"It will take time, sweet dove." Ellaria's gentle smile pierced your heart, her soft words contrasting so vividly with her devious fingers. "Do not underestimate our patience. You are our knight, our shield, and we will cherish you as you ought to have been cherished."

Part Three