#Because the triggering shit just does not stop in this house and it harms everyone

[downfallofi]

This is like the third major holiday this year where everything was fine until we had a gigantic blowout screaming match in the last hour; and my heart is heavier than even the last few days have been and I wish there was literally anywhere I could go other than here at times.

[yoru-no-seiiki]

https://www.tumblr.com/yoru-no-seiiki/751614308271718400/hii-so-like-ive-been-starving-for-yandere-eren

def something w/ canon eren! but other than that you can could go as wild as u want! :p

god where do i start?? i’ll mostly write for early seasons eren since i refuse to watch the whole thing until i’m done with season one on my quotev book as a motivator but i’ll add some tidbits that i got from other fanfics. go check it (my book) out btw!! it’s called Walk With Me!! (currently on the next chapter which is around 10k words atm huhu)

as always he’s aged up to 18 during enlistment and massive spoilers for those that don’t know the lore/story yet.

MDNI. DDDNE!!

yandere! eren is a force of absolute willpower. he is obsessive, he is protective, and very much goddamn possessive. he needs you, he needs you to need him too if not moreso. he grew up in a very traditional household and expected to be the provider in the family. the least you could do is have him in your thoughts at all times.

if you want max yandere! potential with him, it’s best to have known him even before armin. be close family friends. maybe your parents worked with his dad since marley and were similarly banished (but not turned into mindless titans).

as children he’d always been protective of you. he’d always stick to you like glue. and because of future him’s influence over grisha and essentially your parents, you were arranged to even sleep in the same bed.

but this sort of backfired in the long run cause you saw him as this annoying brother figure that just wouldn’t stop bothering you.

and one day you just blurt out, tired of the suffocation you felt with your friend, with your parents that vehemently kept pushing you two together, of everything in your life that you couldn’t control.

“i wonder what it’s like beyond the walls.”

i feel like armin would still be the true trigger of eren’s obsession with the outside and freedom (after all, he doesn’t give a shit about yours so why and how would you influence him in that area?), but you probably pushed him in terms of the survey corps.

you were dumb at the time. i mean as a kid, who isn’t? so you announced to literally everyone you knew that you planned to join the military and eventually explore the outside world.

you didn’t really understand the concept of death and all but whatever that was, you still thought it would be better than eren’s basically isolating you from anything that moves.

you dont truly understand death until eren kills those intruders in mikasa’s house right in front of you.

you were supposed to help him, but only stood there frozen in fear.

thankfully mikasa awakened just in time, with eren shouting at her to save you.

speaking of mikasa, her true allegiance/ackerman blood thingy is still with eren in this fic but i headcannon that since his first command was to for her to fight for you she also has the same knee jerk reaction for whenever she perceives you’re being harmed.

in anycase, that day ™️ happens and you all start training.

it had already been obvious since you were teens but eren started looking at you from a different angle. the sexual kind.

your lack of contact with other people due to his influence had made you a bit of a pushover, as such he’d often coerce you into sex or other related acts.

i mean, you had to pity him! he never had the opportunity to explore and act on his urges. mans stayed a virgin til he enlisted and he’s pent up. you try to argue that it’s cause he was so hung up on revenge that he’s bitchless but that only leads to him questioning you if you’ve been seeing other people behind his back.

i mean you two were basically together, why would he see other people? don’t tell him that you’ve been … cheating on him? how could you!

so yeah he does the same thing to mikasa (the manipulation not the sex lol) and forces her to guard the two of you during your ‘trysts’ (which is just him, the inexperienced boy rutting into you and getting off while you stood/laid there uncomfortable silence)in addition to basically shutting down whatever feelings she might have brewing for him (poor mikasa dude)

but surprisingly eren is the most lax to you during this time period. despite the literal r*pe, he basically allowed you to roam around and do whatever for a change. frankly, it was mostly cause he had to catch up in terms of training, but also cause his FREEDOM ideal is the strongest during this phase.

anddd depending on your behavior you might get pimped out. only to those that he can trust though. god even jean got a taste of you because he lost a bet. he promptly beats up the man afterwards though.

if you’re more focused on training and acquiesce to his demands (hormones) however you’ll be enjoying the only three years of your life where eren’s presence wasn’t looming like dread of your death by a titan’s hands.

now i can’t vouch for how accurate i can portray later seasons eren but basically he’s the worst in yan levels at that point.

once he can fully utilize his powers there is literally no escape for you, not even his death, unless you have some sort of power that hides your ass. he’d already prepared for everything from your captivity to how your life will be like after his inevitable demise.

like i said before, he’d be the type to give you an illusion of freedom. he hates the idea of being caged and vice versa. so specifically speaking after his death and the end of the series, you’ll go from being stuck in a remote area to being free but with hundreds of armed guards watching your every move. hell maybe even the whole “town/village/city” you live in will all just be paid actors he had staged. he will never let you move on from him. whether you like it or not, you’re his in life, in death, as he is dying, and beyond that.

[feyhunter78]

Personal rant about an issues I’m having with my best friend under the cut, TW mentions of past sexual trauma both fictional and IRL

Thinking about how Alicent and Rhaenyra coded my best friend and I are, (minus the gay undertones) she’s headstrong, beautiful, confident, feels like she deserves what she wants no matter what and has no fear that her father won’t be there to catch her when she falls. But it makes her ignorant to the deeper plights of others and she lacks the knowledge to look further into things, and weigh her opinions and options before she speaks. She’s so strong and confident that she refuses to accept that her thoughts and opinions can be wrong, and she never does any research.

She was like “I’ve heard Andrew Tate talk some and I think he might be right” and I was like friend???? The man is a sex trafficker who has been quoted saying that women who aren’t virgins are damaged goods, and his OWN SISTER doesn’t talk to him. And she was like “oh I didn’t really look him up or anything” like motherfucker are you serious????

Then you’ve got me, quieter, more traditional, (still beautiful, but my goodness my best friend is a different level) always trying to do what’s right, do what I was supposed to do, trying to make sure everyone is okay, that my words and actions won’t harm and if they do can I take them back or make up for them?

I’m more agreeable, people see me as soft and kind, easy to talk to, but it comes with this guilt, religious, personal, social, whatever I’m always, always watching, always considering the other side because I know what it feels like to be powerless. And I do my fucking research because you have to know the rules!!!!

We’ve argued over TG or TB and she just refuses to accept that Alicent’s actions are motivated by valid reasons, that she was a child victim and was a victim until her husband finally died. She also blows past the fact that Daemon groomed and assaulted Rhaenyra because “they’re so hot” and I just???? I could not and cannot understand how she can overlook the pain and trauma these characters went through and act like it’s absolutely nothing.

Then we got in a bit of a thing because she got into booktok smut and I tried to warn her about the trigger stuff in some of the books and she’s like “oh it’s fine, yeah he like rapes her in this one part, but he basically makes it up with his words in the end” and I’m ????

Like yeah I like my dark stuff too but not a love interest who’s a rapist💀 there is no coming back from that for me????

And the fact that she just doesn’t care, doesn’t even stop to think about how her lack of care for the atrocities committed towards female characters in literally any media affects her is just so concerning to me. It’s like because nothing like that has happened to her then it’s not real??? Or it’s just like “not that big of a deal”????

Like y’all who read Pink Pastels know I went through shit, not a full assault but something similar that I left out of the fic because it was too much and I hadn’t really accepted what had happened. And the fact that what is it one in five women have been assaulted??? Statistically speaking she knows women who have been!!!!

So it makes me sick to my stomach that she’s so blasé about this stuff. To be fair to her, I never told her about it but I have now and I haven’t gotten a response yet so I’ll hold judgment until I do. (She hasn’t seen the Snapchat yet)

I just it really frustrates me because she is such a good friend outside of this stuff but she just lives such a different life from everyone else (her family is super rich) and I feel bad because I really want reality to knock some sense into her with a baseball bat. She just doesn’t understand that people actually suffer this stuff it’s not all just fun in games and ha ha giggles oh he’s so hot!!!

Like bestie I’m here, standing in front of you, asking if you fucked Daemon in a pleasure house (if you really are going to keep reading and flaunting your love of these dark, violent, terribly written books) while I’m trapped with your old ass father who’s been assaulting me and ignoring the children he forced me to have (carrying and trying to sort out the multitude of trauma from my ex) begging you to tell me that you didn’t and you still see me as your friend (that you aren’t a horrible pick me girl who doesn’t actually care about the pain and suffering women go through just because you haven’t experienced it)

[behindthescenesoftaylor]

The Person I Used To Be.(Kyle x reader)

(I did not proofread this or edit because I’m lazy so if there is any mistakes or things that seem weird, tell me. Also if you have any tips or requests send those my way PLEASE.

Warning: This story contains mature themes including drug use, self-harm, and underage drinking. Reader discretion is advised. It may be triggering for some individuals.

(Characters are 17, this was based off deftone’s- Change.)

After (y/n)’s mom dies from an overdose, (y/n) finds herself lost in drug and alcohol. Kyle is concerned with this, she’s changed, she’s not the person she used to be

Kyle stood there against the wall with his arms crossed, an unpleasant feeling settling deep in his stomach. he was looking at (y/n), she was surrounded by people, younger and older. They cheered for her as she took another shot, the burn making her flinch but oh how she loved the feeling.

“Yes (y/n)!!!”

“Atta girl!”

“Get it hottie!”

She slammed the glass back onto the table and put her arms up in unison. The now empty glass was put aside as the 12th graders pulled out pill bottles and blade. The people around her started cheering once again.

“Hey! Does anybody have a bill?” A 10th grader asked and Kyle could see (y/n) getting out a single 5$ bill. They boy put the pills onto the table and began to crush them before formatting them into multiple single lines.

“I get to go first, since i won the shot contest!” (Y/n) slurred, a fat smile spreading onto her lips. Kyle hated the way the other boys looked at her, as if she was just an object. (Y/n) took the bill and rolled it up before placing it at the beginning of the line and sniffing all the way down. She took a deep breath and slowly exhaled, feeling the adrenaline.

“Fuck that was hot” a boy said, others nodding in agreement. Kyle furrowed his eyebrows in a silent anger, a flashback coming to him.

(Y/n) and Kyle sat in the waiting room, his hand was over her thigh as she chewed on her nail nervously. Her mother had been admitted after she found her on the floor, pill bottles in her hand. Tears leaked down her face as Kyle tried to comfort her, to his disappointment, it wasn’t working.

“Fuck, Kyle she told me she quit! She- she told me she was sober?! This is all my fault- it’s all my fault, i should have looked m-“

Her talking stopped as the doctor walked out of the door, his hands to his side. (Y/n) immediately stood up and rushed to the doctor.

“How is she? Is she okay?” She questioned. The doctor stood there with a frown for a second, the words leaving his mouth as soon as he saw the little girl, alone, sobbing.

“IS SHE OKAY?” She repeated frantically

“Ms. (L/n), I’m sorry to say this-“ the world went silent as he said the words, her hand flew over her mouth in shock as she back upped in disbelief until she couldn’t no more, hitting the wall. She slid down, and Kyle walked to her, sitting beside her and wrapping her in a huge hug as she sobbed and sobbed. Her cries echoing, leaving the day feeling empty for everyone who could hear.

Kyle shook his head, leaving his thoughts as a the song changed. (Grind on me by pretty ricky) He looked back and saw (y/n) getting up with Clyde . They went to the middle of the floor and started to dance, she turned with her back facing the clydes front and began to rub against him. (Y/n) was too high from the drugs and too drunk to process what she was doing, she was just caught in the moment. She tuned back around and Clyde began to kiss her neck as she continued to sway her hips.

Kyle freaked at this, this was his last straw, you were way to under the influence for this. He marched up to you and grabbed you by your arm roughly, pulling you away from Clyde and outside into his car. “Ow Kyle, what the fuck?!”

“Your coming to my house until this shit wears of (y/n), this is so irresponsible of you, I’m disappointed.” He says, quickly buckling in his seatbelt and starting the car.

“Dissapointed? Okay mother” she said back. Kyles head tuned back and forth as his eyes focused on the road infront of him. The ride to his house was short, taking less than 3 minutes to get there, and as soon as they parked Kyle was out of the door pulling (y/n) along with him.

Her footings were stumbled and she struggled to walk without tripping, Kyle had to hold her up for her to actually get in his house, unharmed. He was lucky that his family wasn’t home, they were currently in another state, for ikes hockey tournament.

They reached the living room before she lost her footing and she fell, hitting her head on the couch and her arm on the table.

“Goddammit, (y/n) are you okay?” Kyle questioned.

(y/n) got up and began to spin around, a feeling of bliss enlightening her. “I’m amazing Kyle! It’s so calming.”

Kyle shook his head and took her by the arm again, they got to the kitchen and suddenly, he picked her up.

“Wee!” (Y/n) said, it might just have been a couple feet but to her it felt like she was flying, the effects of the cross fade getting to her. Kyle placed her on the counter, making sure she was steady, and he hurriedly got the first aid kit, hoping she wouldn’t fall in the meantime.

Once he got it he went back and set it down beside her. She sat there looking into the distance, smiling. Kyle opened the box, took out the alchohol, and light pored it onto a cotton ball. His hands gently held her face as he bagan to dab it on the cut from the fall.

He then placed a bandaid on it, but unlike before, this time she gripped his arm. Her hands venturing up until she reached his cheek, Kyle sat there staring into her eyes. She spreads her legs, giving him room to stand between and pulled him in close, but before their lips could meet, he pulled away.

“Your drunk, (y/n)” he turned away, staring to the floor.

“So? I’m also high of coke, what about it?”

“Are you serious right now (y/n)?! What about it?!”

By this point Kyle was straight on yelling, his emotions getting the better of him.

“Your such a fucking party pooper kyle!” She hopped off the counter and began to walk out of the door, with the intention of going back to the party. She was not in the mood to deal with this.

He pulled her by her sleeve away from the door and took her to the bathroom, blocking the exit, she wasn’t going to get away this time.

“Party?! (Y/n) all that was, was a drug fest! You know it and i know it.”

“Kyle move!” She yelled trying to push him out of the way. He just shook his head no, refusing to let her out until she composed herself.

“Fine if i can’t go to the party, I’ll bring the party to me.” (Y/n) exclaimed as she slammed open the medicine cabinet and pulled out a random bottle. Kyle quickly grabbed her and pinned her to the ground, ripping the bottle out of her hand.

“(Y/n) are you serious? What the fuck is wrong with you?!” He yeld, holding her down. She struggled against him and tried to pry herself from his hands.

“Kyle i need it, I need it Please” she begged, longing for the feeling of the pills. “Please ky”

“(Y/n) don’t you see, this is how your mom died, i don’t want that to happen to you!!”

“Ky, it numbs me, all the pain leaves and even if just for a few hours! I don’t want to feel anymore pain, please Kyle, please.” She began to sob, her chest bouncing against him. He picked her up bridal style when she went limp, carrying her to his bed as she continued to cry.

“Shh” he said while setting her down under the covers and laying next to her, he took her smaller figure into his arms and wrapped tight as she just stared at the wall. Soon after, she fell asleep.

—

The next day she awoke still in his arms, hearing little snouts pouring out of his mouth. The headache from the hangover began as she moaned loudly and rolled out of the bed, away from his arms.

Kyle woke up, confused, seeing her on the ground holding her head. He realized that she was probably hungover, so he got up and got some medicine for her and placed it next to the water he placed on the table.

“Here” he said gently, his smooth voice making her heart flutter. She slowly grabbed the pills and the water and gulped them down, she then slid to sit against the wall with her knees to her chest, leaving an awkward silence around the room.

“So last night was eventful, I’m guessing” she said. She couldn’t really remember anything, just Kyle taking her here.

“(Y/n), this needs to stop. It’s unhealthy and dangerous.” He declared, looking at her from the bed. “It’s changing you.”

“Changing me? How? Because i don’t give a fuck now?!” She said, her voice slowly rising. He let out a sigh and ran his hands through his hair.

“People aren’t Supposed to feel numb, (y/n), that’s why the drugs are fucking illegal. You dyed your hair, got piercings, and your attitude has just changed! You’re doing the one thing you promised you wouldn’t ever do!”

“well people fucking change Kyle!” She yelled angrily, a scowl on her face.

“Not like this (y/n)! Your changing too much and unnaturally!! Your not the person i used to love anymore.”

Her angry facial expression immediately left, he used to love her? He got up from the bed and raced out of the room. “Kyle- Kyle wait!”

He ignored her and grabbed his keys, rushing inside his car. The car began to back up as she exited the house, leaving her there by herself, with the thought of him saying he used to love her, alone.

[whitleyschn33]

RWBY V9E07 Liveblog Thoughts

Hah, actually early for once in my life!

- “May be distressing for some viewers” okaaaaaay, but that’s so incredible vague that it’s kind of useless, RT, at least link to a place to find out what specifically might be triggering or distressing instead of forcing people to seek out what happens in the episode from other sources. (Spoilers: It’s suicidal ideation and off-screen suicide.)

- The bird is cute, but, uh, is it controlling the match?

- As someone that has had to room with multiple people that snore, I commend RWB for not murdering Yang in her sleep. For real though, I do like this quiet moment of Ruby staring at her weapon, it’s nice.

- “I’m late!” ...for a very important date? Shit, though, Jaune’s frantic about this - feels like maybe his confidence he may have built up in the decades may have taken a couple hits yesterday. 

-Oh, arson - and apparently this is a regular occasion. Fire bird?

- ....Did you not notice the paper last night? Jaune’s house has some in it. Also, this score is a bit upbeat for burning a village down.

- Okay, I do kind of like this. Jaune’s somehow settled into basically the role of a huntsman, protecting this village of paper stars from the near certain death they seem to face every day. I like this idea, him taking on the responsibility and clearly treating it with the respect it deserves. The stars remind me of someone/something, but I can’t quite remember what.

- I am a sucker, this is adorable

- “You named them after your teammates?” “No... I named them after everyone.” Okay, but why did you name the blue one Ren? But seriously, not sure how I feel about that. On one hand, names help differentiate and humanize them and can help keep the memories strong, on the other naming them after your friends feels a bit... projectionist? Like, it’s one thing to name the jackalope after your team name, another to give a sentient being the name of one of your best friends.

- Lay off him, Yang - he’s got a job to do, people to protect, and it’s not like you can find something that may not exist. He clearly has been searching when he gets the time, and I suspect that most of it has been under the cover of night when the Paper Pleasers are asleep like the marketplace. 

- The schedule is pretty cute - “watch out for tearable twos” “keep away from Shredder” (please be a TMNT reference), “If you wouldn’t give it to a baby, don’t give it to the Paper Pleasers”, “tea shop fiasco” “Stop the Second Fire”, “sandpaper knife shop”, “STOP. THE. GOOSE.” Seriously, read this thing over if you have the time.

- “Patience pays off” - it does! But what’s the difference between patience that’s self-enforced and patience that’s required?

- “I’m not crazy” Oof... no, you’re not, Jaune. This does seem like he’s been making the best of a bad situation - but if I had to poke holes... what was he doing before he went to the village? He only came after Alyx poisoned him, and he was already much older at that point. Was he still exploring then, or was he just waiting for someone to arrive?

- “We just can’t count on him” - WHAT? BECAUSE HE WANTS YOU TO ACTUALLY GIVE A DAMN ABOUT HELPING HIS VILLAGE? I’m sorry, I thought you were huntresses - you know, people dedicated to helping those that can’t help themselves? I know it’s not fighting off man-eating monsters, but these are life-and-death situations Jaune’s listing off (mostly), not just random chores. He’s established himself as a protector of these innocent people that have helped him and so many others, and you’re acting like he’s asking you to be a janitor or something instead of helping to keep this town safe? What exactly did you expect a huntress to do when they aren’t fighting the Grimm if not help keep the villages safe in other ways? Between this and them just running away from the market, I’m just about done with the girls’ attitudes towards actually doing their damn jobs of helping people.

- Ah, so... all self-inflicted harms. I’m... not sure how I feel about this. The Cat marked ascension as being for when the Ever Afterian has ceased performing its role correctly and needed to be retuned, but the stars seem to think its more like “our work is done, it’s time to move on and be reborn” when that doesn’t seem to jive with what the cat says. They’re still performing their roles just fine, even if they’re at the end of their “arc”, so there’s no need for them to change or ascend if they’re still doing their part. It doesn’t feel right with what we’ve been told about ascension up to this point. And then how this connects to Jaune... with what happened to Penny and him naming the stars after his friends, I understand why he’d be so opposed to them trying to ascend and taking it upon himself to keep them safe, but I hate that this episode will, if it continues to go where I think it will, punish him for this idea, call it wrong for him to stand in the way of the stars and self-inflicted death (I’m wondering if that’s where the content warning is coming in). I also hate that it would let RWBY off the hook, that Jaune was “wasting his time” watching after the village and that he should have just left them to their own devices long ago, thank goodness RWBY’s here to slap him out of that and leave them to die, cause that’s what they want! Yeah, no, I don’t really like this at all.

- Wow. Rude. And how did A MAN IN RUSTY ARMOR SNEAK UP ON YOU. 

- Uhhhhhh.... that’s uncomfortable, and I hate that that undermines the idea that he’s grown to care about the stars, that he’s actually just babysitting stupid children from his POV.

- “Because I can actually protect these people!” Good line - Fall of Atlas trauma, Fall of Atlas trauma, Fall of Atlas trauma -

- Who gave the Ever Afterians a bomb, damn - Ah, Neo, thank you and curse you. Thank you for the potential action scene and a threat that (might) need to be dealt with that causes actual death, curse you from halting the character progression.

- That is the most flat line I think I’ve heard from Weiss - Kara, are you okay? - and thank you, Blake, for admitting you all just ran away last time because so many people in the FNDM seem to think that they were just evacuating.

- An alright action scene! I really appreciate that they’re working as a team, that it’s a group fight instead of one on one duels happening next to each other, even if some of the choreography is lacking. Ruby’s visions are also refreshing, seeing her actually suffering from flashbacks and PTSD, and the movements of the Jabberwalker as it morphs and creaks are very well done, very unsettling.

- “They eat and grow” ....Actually yeah, what the hell is up with that? That’s not just glass illusions, that’s creation.

- WOULD YOU LET THE GIRL ACTUALLY HAVE HER TRAUMA ARC INSTEAD OF CUTTING AWAY FROM IT EVERY TIME THE OTHERS MIGHT ACTUALLY NOTICE?

- Yeah, I.... really don’t like the framing of this. At all. Like this was nothing, that those aren’t lives that were still ended, even if you believe they were reborn (even if that’s the most convenient explanation for you -).

- But that scene was refreshing as all hell. See what happens when you let character actually disagree and fight? I want that Ruby telling off B///B gif on my desk stat, btw. I feel like I should probably break down the entire argument, but that would take more time than I have (it’s my birth-weekend, woooo!), so I’ll just say I really enjoyed finally getting past all the bullshit interruptions and letting Ruby actually vent, letting Jaune vent, let the characters actually fight and be truly upset and frustrated in a way that’s not petty. Good job, why couldn’t we have gotten to this sooner?

This is honestly probably the best (or at least most well executed on a structural level) episode of the volume so far. It actually let the characters talk and fight, it used the Ever After set piece to its advantage for once in forwarding character development (which only really the Herbalist has done so far imo, which is a shame), and had a fight scene with an alright song. I’m... really not comfortable at all with how the ascension idea was handled, though, either tonally or in how it affects RWBY’s frustration with actually having to give a damn about living people - no, it’s okay to not want to keep them safe! They want to die anyway, and Jaune’s just sitting around protecting the equivalent of paper puppets instead of actual sentient beings he wants to keep safe, isn’t that insane? Like, way to let them off the hook of actually having to make a hard decisions or do their job in any way. And this hot off the heals of Jaune helping Penny commit assisted suicide? Framing this mass-suicide as something that’s okay because they wanted it and believe that they’ll just be reborn, and Jaune as in the wrong for not wanting them to hurt themselves? It leaves a really bad fucking taste in my mouth. 

[library-of-babylon]

House of Night: Chosen - Review

★★★☆☆ Bullshit galore

Craft ★☆☆☆☆ Characters ★☆☆☆☆ Plot ★★☆☆☆ World-building ★★☆☆☆ Utter nonsense ★★★★☆

Triggers?

Homophobia

Victim blaming

Homeless abuse

Religious abuse

Racism

Sexism

Ableism

Implied sexual assault

Grooming

Sexual manipulation

Self harm

Misogyny

Race war(?) I don't like how I'm just collecting triggers

✨Spoilers✨

Birthmas

Do you like contrived conflict? No? Too bad because that's how this book starts. Zoey's birthday is December 24th and literally everyone except Heath and Grandma Redbird decided this meant everything they got her needed to be Christmas-themed. The only person who gets a pass from this is Jack who's known her for two weeks, likes snow globes, and trusted everyone else on the shit decision. These people have known her for about 3 months at this point and not a single one of them thought to ask her about what she'd like for her birthday or how she would feel about birthday presents that are Christmas-themed. This is a very basic thing to do and should go without saying.

And then there's Zoey, Erik, and Heath. As the book points out Heath has known Zoey for literal years and yet knowing this Erik gets pissed at her over him getting her a gift he knew she would like with a card that says he knows how much she hates Christmas-themed birthday presents.

Chapter 18

Why does a chapter finally deserve its own tangent? Because it is the worst. Problems with Heath aside about halfway through some men start sexually harassing Zoey, while with Heath, and these guys are offensively stereotypical black men. The books have always had a problem with racism including using food to describe skin and referring to hair as "nappy" all the damn time, but hoo boy the first black men we see and they are sexually aggressive, have baggy pants, are harassing people, and as if that start wasn't bad enough it somehow gets worse.

Zoey throws them into oncoming traffic, they get hit by a truck, and she doesn't even care. It takes a moment for her to really process what's happened and by then say they might not be dead besides there's a hospital nearby and they were trying to hurt Heath. To all this tells her what she did was mean she shouldn't be mean, Nyx isn't mean. I haven't told a lot of people this but I was in a car accident last month two days before Christmas. We were T boned and sent rolling, I got a concussion and my arm got pinned under the seat belt, my friend who was the driver got several broken ribs. Again we were inside a car that took most of the impact and thankfully were in a residential area so there wasn't as much force as the main road these men were thrown into. They were hit by a truck going at least 40 miles an hour and had nothing to protect them. That's not mean, that's malice and grievous bodily harm to men who catcalled her.

Professor Bad Touch (Loren Blake)

Please god, make it stop. He calls her a woman, compares their relationship to the implied pedophilic relationship the vampire Shakespeare had with a fledgling, gives her diamond earrings, kisses her, manipulates her into feeling bad for him, tells her not to tell anyone about "them", kisses down her shoulder and invites her back to his room to have sex.

This girl looks for a reason to get out of having sex with her teacher that isn't "moronic and juvenile". She turned 17 at the start of this book and he is not only her teacher but in his mid-twenties. This is deeply unsettling to listen to and all I can think is "You are a child" and "Did this really need to be included". The extremely predatory nature of this "relationship" is not being handled at all responsibly by the very fact that Nyx is seemingly cosigning this.

Because we are with Zoey 24/7 there isn't much room for her, the girl actively being groomed, to talk against what is happening being normalized to her by a man with power over her however at no point does Nyx step in, and give her a warning in any kind of way. Nyx is just as much at fault for this happening in the narrative as Blake, by the constant special treatment Zoey gets it is obvious she cares deeply for this girl who is her "eyes and ears" but does nothing while she is in active danger from this man. Nyx in these books is a trusted adult watching her get abused and doing nothing about it. The only thing Nyx does do around him is tell her to shut up and not spill secrets to the man which yeah I wouldn't tell him shit either but come the fuck on.

I hate that he's the one who takes care of her after she finds her teacher dead and mutilated in front of the school. I don't like how the book is trying to make me like him I know what he is and it just gives everything he says or does no matter how kind an insidious nature.

This man is a predator. He takes her virginity and imprints with her while she's an emotional mess, possibly in shock, having thought that she was about to witness her boyfriend die just one month after seeing her best friend die, forcing her to relive it. Even if she wasn't all the other problems this is so fucked up. Yeet this man into the sun he is scum in every way shape and form.

"you're not like other fledglings. And I feel some rules are meant to be broken" 🤮

The only good thing about professor bad touch is that he fucking dies at the end of the book after being revealed to have groomed and abused Zoey on Neferet's order.

Linda Heffer (Zoey's mom)

Zoey's mom is in an abusive relationship and is doomed by the native. Linda is manipulated by her abusive husband into giving her daughter a birthday present that they both know she would not only not like but would find offensive. The gift in question is adding Zoey and her siblings to the family bible. Under normal consonances this would be extremely heartwarming, adding stepchildren to a cherished family heirloom and tree cementing an unwavering acceptance into the family. Instead, it's a knowing insult to her religion and further religious abuse and manipulation from her stepfather.

Beyond that, there is also a very good chance that Linda and Zoey's siblings have been forced by John Heffer to not be in contact with her. Despite realizing how she's being manipulated by her husband, both Zoey and her own mother (Grandma Redbird) instead comment on how she's a weak woman who wants a man to think for her. It's all honestly quite sad.

Stevie Rae

Since dying and becoming Nosferatu Stevie Rae has gone through an almost complete personality change while also falling into a completely different class of more classical vampires. These Nosferatu vampires as I'm calling them in these reviews need to be invited in, think and act like most would assume the soulless would, burn in sunlight, and need to feed on human blood more often than regular fully fledged vampires. Despite these however, there does still appear to be some humanity in Stevie Rae as she is willing to go along with Zoey's plan to hide her in Aphrodite's parents' mother-in-law suite, part of which involves her giving up feeding on the homeless and other vulnerable civilians instead feeding on blood bags stolen from the school.

Aphrodite

It's absolutely wild hearing Zoey call Aphrodite a hoe while juggling two guys + her teacher.

Keeping with the last book's decision to give her more things to do than just hang around being spiteful in this Aphrodite is given an affinity for earth and sent by Nyx to replace Stevie Rae in the dark daughters and sons magic circle. She also gets a good amount of character development with a clear pattern of her opening up and being vulnerable while alone with Zoey, as well as agreeing to not be as antagonistic while being a part of the circle.

"As Mother says dependable illegals are really hard to find" Sometimes I really wish the books would quiet while they're ahead.

Erik Night

Yo, fuck this guy. He finds his girlfriend being groomed and sexually abused by their teacher and thinks she's the problem, calling her a slut. Fuck him and the horse he rode in on. Erik was a bland if likable guy in the past two books but his behavior in this one just makes me want to throw out the baby and the bathwater. On the one hand, he's upset about very reasonable things but he takes it out on Zoey in the most unreasonable ways. I really can not overstate how bad Erik is as a person, man found his girlfriend being abused and went scorched earth telling all of their friends the moment he had an opportunity and being such a spiteful vindictive bastard that not only was that not enough he then tried to turn everyone against her. Yeet him into the sun with Blake's corpse fuck the both of them.

Heath Luck

Guess who still doesn't understand boundaries? Heath who has gone from light stalking to full-blown obsession. At this point his only goal is Zoey and if they were normal people I'd be legit worried that he would kidnap her. Props to the book for realizing how unhealthy this is however any good boy point that would be given for this are immediately taken away by him deciding to cut himself when she tries to leave him so she'd be drawn to his blood.

I don't like Zoey but can the books please please please give her one love interest with a minor character flaw instead of being the scum of the earth? Like can she get with a guy whose problem is his car is a mess or who never vacuums his carpet?

Neferet

The duality of Neferet is an interesting one. After the girls find their teacher dead and mutilated she makes a genuine effort to be strong and supportive, the rock they and everyone needs at that moment however at the same time she is the unseen evil behind every door.

I just wish it'd been better done. The book ends with the implication that she killed her pedo boyfriend (for the wrong reason) and a personal friend of hers to start what is essentially a race war with humans. It's obvious that she has some greater plan here other than ruining Zoey's life but right now the pieces aren't adding up to shit and given the general state of things I worry whatever it is isn't going to be satisfying.

Jack Twist

I kinda feel bad for Jack, it's said in the book that Erik is like a big brother to him, and in this one, he completes the change to full vampire leaving Jack who has only been at the school for about a month alone. They were roommates and friends but he already lost him.

I just want to give Jack a hug, he's an absolute sweetheart and I swear to any god that will listen if that ever changes I will riot.

Craft

Said said said would it kill the Casts to pick a new word? Try muttered or chided or hell bit.

Maybe "exotic" isn't the best term to use as a compliment to someone period, let alone right after bringing up native Americans.

Would I recommend this book?

I mean kinda because it's full of utter bullshit like Zoey killing two guys then just forgetting that shit but at the same time this book just kinda meanders about not really knowing what to do, creating artificial conflicts and horrifying implications it has no intention of handling properly, and spending entirely too much time with Blake for even me to be comfortable with.

Mind the warnings with this one. Unlike that last book where you could ignore all implications lurking about in favor of things like fake domestic terrorism and the genuinely heartwarming sleepover after Stevie Rae's death in this one it can't bother to be bonkers enough to give much plot besides the horrors.

[ma222dd4t4563214]

(Trigger warning please scroll away.) One guy told me: "You say your relationship with him was deep, but do you know how deep it was for him to be with someone who struggles mentally? you never been in his place. it is heavy af." While I did see the relationship from my ex's perspective a long months ago and that in fact made me root for him to be with someone better than me, someone normal, but it is not true what that guy said that I have never been in his place before. My first love was a girl who i one time caught in the bathroom floor after she overdosed on something and she was at my house and i remember that scene to this day, her down my sink laying on the floor choking, how i picked her up and went to the hospital and how after she got better and i saw her in school the day after she never talked to me again… my first partner was someone who committed sui**de at my own bathroom.. i know it is heavy and i have been there… but she was lying, she never took her jacket off and told me the reason is i don't want you to see my scars, but one time i did strip her down and there was no scars at all, she told me she removed it but there is nothing that does and also why hide it for 9 months if they are removed already? which she told me she removed it last week. it was all lies. But her attempt was real… she was on meds i used to wake her up to take her meds on time and i saw those pills in her room. and she never left me because I was bad to her she didn't leave me because she didn't want me to go through that pain or she didn't want to hurt me she only never talked to me again because she was caught lying about self-harming. And that is why I didn't expect my partner to not want me because I struggle mentally because my ex gf before him it never was a reason for me not to love her because she goes through that, I thought people can handle it because i did, but he made me realize that it is not the case for many many people even the people I met tell me that shit is toxic and heavy and scary and all. for me that girl was someone i never thought of as toxic, just, a liar. and her lies were still her depression seeking attention and love and I am glad I got to give her that at that time and i would have never left i begged and begged and eventually, we graduated from high-school and she found another gf and i stopped trying after that. so who says I don't know? i know, but it wasn't a reason to give up on her. only this year i realized that not everyone knows how to handle that because for me i went through what she goes through so it was not that heavy, for a normal person, that is scary and heavy and triggering, i am aware of that now. my ex never felt suicidal until years after knowing me and that is valid that he chose himself, that is acceptable I wouldn't force him to suffer with me i wouldn't want him to put me first and the price is his own mental health worsening. i want him to do what he did and choose himself instead. what i meant by it is for his own good that i pushed him away is not that so i can talk to other men, i told him "it is only you, it is always you." when he said that I am interested in someone else, and i meant it that it is only him that i ever want to love, but i didn't correct him on why it is for his own good. but the why is: I might end up gone this year, i still have my pills in the drawer, i still am ending it this year.. and if he moved on, if he already has a girl, then that is good for me, i don't want to go and leave him all alone in this world, and many people are better than sticking with someone like me, who is not even sure about living in the first place. I don't want to put people through that I was never aware of it but since I am now, I don't want a relationship, I don't want him to be with me the most. I don't want to make it worse for him.. I would literally rather suffer and die than knowingly do that to him.

[puppetoffthehook]

A Haircut Makes A Man

Trigger warnings: f slur, abuse, physical harm

Inspired by this art by @kyrosh

Billy was just trying to help Susan by washing the dishes from dinner. Neil was working late apparently so everyone else had already eaten and they were doing their own activities. Max was in her room reading her comic books and talking to Lucas over the handheld radio they all used. Susan was watching Magnum P.I. reruns in the livingroom. The quiet and the repetitive task at hand were actually kind of soothing.

He should’ve known it wouldn’t last. Didn’t matter how close to Christmas it was.

The front door opened and closed and Billy heard Susan greet his dad as he started on drying the dishes. The older man’s footsteps approached the kitchen and stopped suddenly, making Billy’s hackles rise.

“Welcome home, Da-“

He didn’t even get to finish his sentence before those footsteps came nearer much too quickly. He felt a rough hand in his hair that yanked with all its might until Billy fell with an agonized yell. The blonde scrabbled to untangled the fingers from his curls even as he was being bodily dragged by his hair. He kept yelling at his father to let go, he hadn’t done anything wrong. Today Neil Hargrove decided his son’s appearance was wrong.

Neil always hated the mullet but never did anything about it before. You look like a fag. Good for nothing. White trash. Billy loved it because it was masculine enough that no one aside from old fucks like his dad gave him shit for it and he’d still see a hint of his mother in himself when he looked in the mirror. Her blue eyes. Her blonde hair. Now he looks in the mirror as his father pulls him up and all Billy sees is a boy with tears cascading down his face yet again.

“I’m just about sick of looking at you traipsing around this house looking like a faggot with that fucking hair!” Neil practically throws him onto the toilet and Billy sits in terrified silence. His scalp is screaming and he’s certain a chunk of hair was fully removed, if not then he’s fucking surprised. The older male digs through drawers until he finds what he’s after; a pair of hair shears Susan uses to trim Max’s hair.

“Dad-“

“Shut your damn mouth, boy.” Billy stills as his father reaches out and roughly grabs his jaw. It hurts but he tries not to react. “Real men don’t have long hair like this shit on your head. A haircut makes a man, son, and you’re finally going to experience what that’s like.”

Billy knows it’ll happen no matter what he does - his father made up his mind the moment he entered the kitchen - so why not add injury to insult? “Cutting off my hair won’t make me less of a queer on Christmas, Dad.” The fist connecting with his teeth was worth it. Neil couldn’t deny that no matter what he did, he still had to live knowing his only son was gay.

That fire bled from him the moment he felt the shears hacking away at his curls. Tears came to light in his eyes which only made his father sneer at him. Every snip of the blades meeting where they cut made the teen wish he could just throw his dad off and run, just get the hell out and never come back. But he knows he’d come back by nightfall.

One final snip and the last curls fall. He’s heaved up from the toilet and forced to look at himself in the mirror. His dad is grinning that awful, hateful grin and Billy just looks horrified. “Who would’ve guessed under that pussy hairdo you had the makings of a real man!”

He looks just like his dad aside from the curls on top of his head. It makes him sick. It makes him never want to look in a mirror again. The blonde stands deathly still as his father trims the cut to make it even - his military barber days paying off in this display of control. “I don’t want to see it any fucking longer than this or I’ll shave your entire head, William. Do you understand me?”

“Yes, sir.” Spoken clearly and to his liking, Neil threw the shears in the sink and told him to clean it all up. Billy looked in the mirror and saw his father’s hateful eyes looking back at him. His eyes, not hers. He can’t look at himself because he can’t see her anymore.

He shaves his mustache that night and decides he’ll try to grow the mullet back before graduation.

[idy-ll-ique]

His Lovely Girl.

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x F!Reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Requested: nope

Warnings: insecurity

Summary: Sebastian spoils her all the time. What has she ever done for him? When someone leaves a rude comment under her Instagram post, she can't help but rethink her entire relationship with the handsome actor.

Author's Note: Hiya peeps! We're back to Marvel lol, enjoy!

---

"I'll see you later, dove, have fun!" Y/N grinned when her boyfriend leaned over, pressing his lips to her forehead. "Bye, Seb, I'll miss you," she whispered and he looked down at her, his heart swelling in his chest, full of appreciation for her. He loved her so much. "I'll miss you too, Y/N, but I'll only be gone for around 6 hours." Y/N pouted and he couldn't help it.

He leaned over and pressed his lips to hers in a chaste kiss. "I know. Go now, I don't want to be the reason you're late." He laughed heartily when she pushed him away with a smile. "Oh, doll, everyone knows about us, they'll know anyway." With that, he waved at her and left the apartment they shared. Y/N had moved in with him 2 years into dating.

Sebastian Stan; let's just say, he was a busy man. Y/N sighed and got up from the bed, feeling hungry. They had started dating 4 years ago, and what years those were; the most blissful ones in both their lives. They loved each other to death, and they knew that. Y/N waddled into the kitchen and looked around the various cabinets, finding a box of Mac and Cheese.

It was a funny story, actually, how they met. Y/N, at the time, was working as a barista at Starbucks. One day, Sebastian had walked into the Starbucks where she worked, and she was the one who took his order. He was extremely polite, funny and a bit awkward and just like that, she fell in love with him all over again. Y/N was a Marvel geek and Sebastian had noticed.

"I really like your hoodie, doll, where'd you get it?" he had asked her after telling her his order. And she had looked down, seeing the custom-made hoodie she wore. It was black in colour, but one of the sleeves was silver and had a red star on the bicep, just like his arm from the movie Captain America: Winter Soldier.

Bucky's trigger words were printed on the front of the hoodie. She had blushed furiously, simultaneously cursing and thanking her fate and coincidence. "I had it custom made," she had told him at the time and he had grinned so wide he thought his mouth would tear open. That was the moment where he, too, realized that he was getting a crush on the pretty barista.

And he hadn't hesitated to ask her for her number. He had taken a tissue paper, scribbled his number down and had written what's yours? ;) underneath. When he went to pay for his coffee, he purposely made sure that he wasn't giving her any change. With his notes, he slid her the tissue and she took it, giving him a confused look.

When she read it, her breath hitched. While pulling out his change, she had discreetly written her number down on the tissue, saved his on her phone and had given the tissue back to him with the coins. Both of them had grinned widely at each other when he left. While walking home, he had taken out the tissue and had seen her number written neatly under his. And his heart raced, Y/N is worth it.

---

*@yn_yln posted a photo*

4,583 likes

yn_yln Mac and Cheese, anyone? :D

Y/N smiled and logged out of her Instagram account after posting the photo. She just couldn't resist; she looked good that day, one of those days where she felt confident enough to post a picture. She kept her phone away and sauntered into the sitting room to watch something on the television. An hour passed before she yawned, feeling tired.

2:05 pm, her watch displayed. Well, there's no harm in an afternoon nap, am I right? Sebastian wasn't home anyway, and it's not like she had anything to do. Grabbing her phone off the dining table, she walked into hers and Sebastian's shared bedroom, plopping down on the bed. She decided to check her Instagram before falling asleep and opened the said app.

She went through the page that displayed all the likes and comments, pausing at one comment. Her heart dropped as she clicked on the comment, her entire being filling with an uneasy feeling. You're only dating him for the money, admit it. Until then, she had never even thought… about that. Throwing her phone to the side she sat up, breathing heavily.

Y/N was currently jobless. After they started going out, she continued working at Starbucks until last year; Sebastian had suggested that she leave the job and work somewhere better, earn a higher salary. Y/N had discarded the idea at first, since the job paid enough for her to go about her daily things and where would she even find another job?

Starbucks was okay. But Sebastian wouldn't hear it. So she left the job, now jobless. She had applied to a few places but hadn't received any news as of yet. They're right. I'm living off of him. I don't even have a job. What does it look like? A broke woman dating a rich, handsome guy? Oh my God, am I leeching off his hard work? All those thoughts rushed through her head in a span of a few seconds.

The more she thought about it, the more she teared up. Blinking the tears away, she lay back down and curled up under the comfortable blankets. His blankets. She closed her eyes, trying her hardest to fall asleep but the tears were proving it to be difficult. Fortunately, she drifted off into an uneasy slumber 15 minutes later.

---

"Baby, I'm home!"

Silence. Sebastian frowned, carefully walking into the house. "Y/N?" he called out but there was no answer. Keeping the bag he was holding away, he walked further into the apartment, stopping at the doorway of their bedroom. "Aw," he whispered under his breath, smiling, stepping into the bedroom. He gently sat next to his sleeping girlfriend.

His knuckles traced her cheeks but he froze. Why is she so cold? His soft touch was enough to wake her up, because she stirred and blinked up at him. "Seb, hi, welcome back." Her voice was hoarse. "Y/N? Did you fall sick?" he asked worriedly as she sat up, distancing herself from him. "I'm not sick," she muttered but Sebastian wouldn't buy it.

He reached out to cup her cheek, feeling like he had been stabbed multiple times when she leaned away from his touch. "Y/N?" She shook her head and looked out of the window, bringing her knees to her chest. "Just wanna be alone right now." She didn't want to send him away. She wanted to sit in his lap, listen to him rambling about his day…

But she also didn't want to be near him. Do I even deserve him? "What happened?" he insisted, his eyes going wide when she glared at him. "Go. Away." He scrambled off the bed without another word, softly closing the door behind him as he walked into the sitting room, running a hand through his hair. He sat down on the couch and looked around.

What happened in those 6 hours that he was away? Sebastian knew she wasn't on her cycle, it still had another week to come. So it wasn't mood swings. His eyes landed on the empty bowl of Mac and Cheese sitting on the dining table but they skimmed right past it, not knowing that that bowl was the reason for Y/N's sadness. Then he stared at the designer handbag on the opposite couch.

Picking up the bag, he strode back to their room, knocking on the door. Maybe seeing a pretty purse would lighten her mood? "What?" Y/N called out from inside and he opened the door, holding the purse up. "I brought you a gift." Y/N's heart started thudding in her chest and tears glistened in her eyes anew as she stared at the bag with utmost resentment.

"I don't want it."

Sebastian went rigid. She never rejects my gifts. "Y/N—" She started shaking her head. "No. Return it. I'm not taking it. I don't want it," she repeated, her glare now directed at him. "But doll…" he tried, freezing when her jaw clenched. "Get out." Disheartened, he walked out once more, more confused than anything. Now I have to know what happened.

Inside the room, Y/N sobbed silently. The bag was so pretty, her favorite color, the sleek design… she wanted to keep it so bad, but she knew she wasn't worthy of it. Sebastian brought her gifts all the time. Most of them expensive as shit; he had the money to blow off. What had she done for him? Nothing, really. He spoiled her heartily, never once allowing her to do the same.

"You're mine, baby girl, mine to love, mine to cherish, mine to spoil."

She was definitely leeching off him. Outside the room, Sebastian took out his phone and texted Y/F/N, who was Y/N's closest friend. They rarely spoke, but Y/N told Y/F/N everything and he knew she'd have answers.

hey, do you know what's up with y/n

why what happened

she's in a really bad mood

she's angry at me and I brought her a gift but she won't take it

she usually loves them but today…

OH WAIT

I know what happened

she texted me in the afternoon

something about a comment on Instagram or something

ig that's why she's in a bad mood

oh

thanks

I'll check it out

He ended the conversation and opened Instagram, seeing a new post from his dear girlfriend. Sebastian couldn't help but smile as he liked the photo, commenting a heart emoji. There were only around 22 comments on the post, so he decided to go through them. Which comment had triggered her? He found it instantly and his nostrils flared.

Replying to the fairly rude comment, he typed, how about you fuck off and mind your own damn business? If you don't like her, unfollow and leave. There's literally nothing else you need to do. After hitting send, he kept his phone away and, determination shining in his eyes, ran back to the bedroom.

He threw open the door and a sob escaped the lips of the startled woman. He started taking off the annoying clothes he was wearing until he was just in his boxers, sliding into the bed next to her. She attempted to push him away but the strong man didn't budge, holding her on his lap as she thrashed. Soon, she gave up the fight and melted against him, crying her eyes out.

"I'm sorry," she apologized again and again, her breath hitching. "Hush, baby, it's okay, I'm not mad," he whispered, rubbing her back, helping her calm down. She rested her head on his shoulder, her arms tight around him. "Tell me the truth. What happened?" he asked even though he knew the answer. Tiredly, Y/N narrated everything; from the comment to all her insecurities.

Sebastian gently cupped her cheeks, wiping her tears off. "Y/N, you're mine. I love taking care of you, I love spoiling you, and I don't do it because I expect something in return, I do it because I love you. Don't listen to strangers on the internet, what better work do they have? Nothing but lowlifes. You don't have to do anything for me. I don't want you to do anything for me."

"But Seb…"

"No. No, you're my girlfriend and only the best for my girl. I love all the gifts you get me. I cherish them wholeheartedly. Just you being my girl is a gift better than anything else in the world, to be honest. But I'm going to continue looking after you whether you like it or not. You don't even have to go to work, I'm here for you. I love you." Y/N teared up again.

They were happy tears.

"I love you so much," she cried weakly and Sebastian pulled her to him, cradling her head, breathing her in. "I love you too, doll. Now will you take my gift, please?" She nodded against him and he gently lowered her on the bed, going outside to get the bag. Once back in their room he handed the bag to her, smiling at the way her eager hands reached up to accept the gift.

As he watched her admiring the bag, he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, till death do them part.

His girl, his lovely girl.

---

A/N: Leave a like if you enjoyed, thanks for reading!

[un2-verse]

BILLY — Kim Taehyung (3)

Synopsis: News of a Sadistic Serial Killer nicknamed “Jigsaw” is spreading around town like wildfire… the nickname stemming from the puzzle piece he cuts from every victim’s body. No one knows who he’ll trap next but in a town full of delinquents and criminals, it could never be you. Right?

Pairing: yandere!Taehyung x f!reader

genre: angst, horror, weirdly some fluff lol

Warnings: dark themes, yandere, stalking, manipulation, conditioning, mentions of abuse, suicidal ideations/attempts, self harm, murder, depictions of torture etc (basically its gorey and fucked up), angel trap, etc stabbing and guns. do not read if triggered!!!!

wordcount: 2.2k

taglist: @yes-sol-not-soul @yoongiofmine

a/n: pt 3 is here!! honestly i wasnt expecting this amount of support as i’ve never published my writing before so thank u sm ♡ i was inspired to write this one night and i had no idea where it’d go or anything but i’m happy with the way its turning out :D fun fact abt me, i’ve been obsessed w the franchise since i was little and i actually have 2 saw tattoos, one of billy and one above saying “cherish your life” since that’s pretty much the motto of saw :) and i have quite the collection of saw/billy items so why not turn my fav horror film into a fucked up love story! let me know if u would like to be added to the taglist and pls enjoy reading^^ feel free to send me asks abt the series or anything u want~ i love hearing from u guys!! :D ps— taehyung and the reader dont have much interaction in this part,, theyll definitely be more of them together in part 4 :) unedited so pls excuse any mistakes!! tysm <33 and remember these are fictional characters and do not represent bts personally in any way!!

series masterlist

part one part two

The headlines constantly named the Jigsaw Killer, Billy. The somewhat eerie little doll that had a face as white as a Calla Lily with spirals on it’s cheeks as red as the blood that was shed during the tests. Billy was always dressed in a little black suit with a red bowtie and he was (most of the time) situated on a squeaky battered tricycle. Attached was always a tape that read “play me” and when the subjects did, a chilling voice— one that could make even the world's worst predators shiver with terror— would echo around the room.

Everyone knew that a doll clearly wasn’t responsible, yet they gave it the name Billy in hopes to somewhat humanise the face that instilled panic— they did not want to live in fear.

It was the only face behind the killings.

But this time, there was a different subject stuck in the test and Billy had made sure there was no way for them to survive.

“How are you scared of heights? You’re practically a giant yourself!”

“Just because I’m tall doesn’t mean I can’t be scared of heights Y/Nie.”

You had no idea how long had passed since Taehyung had turned up at the garage, you were too busy chatting away squeezed into the kitchen while your Dad, Yoongi and Hobi worked on the cars in the shop. If anyone could hear you both, they would think you’d known eachother since childhood— the playful jokes and light touches exaggerated that.

You’d only known him for a few hours really, if you added the time spent with him on the first day and now. It hadn’t seemed like all those weeks ago that you first met, he had a familiar presence, as though you had known him for years compared to the hours.

“I just wouldn’t imagine you to be scared of anything Taehyung… you seem so confident and fearless.”

You saw the way Taehyung looked at you. His eyes flashed with understanding.

“I did have my fears back then, much like yours.”

“What do you mean?” you had a rough idea on what he meant but you needed him to voice it.

A deep inhale and the words flowed from his lips before he could stop it, “The fear of living. I had been through some stuff you know, growing up. My mum was working a lot and my dad was an alcoholic, he was so fucking possessive and wouldn’t let her go anywhere without kicking off. It was a fucking shitshow and so toxic. This one time though, I’d pretended that I’d gone to school and waited outside the front door. It didn’t take long before I heard shit getting smashed and my dad shouting.” Taehyung was telling the truth only, he left out the part where he was also as possessive, if not more, than his father. Well, let's say… obsessive. “I just ran in the house and saw my dad towering over my mum and I don’t remember what happened but, I do remember my mum crying and my dad disappeared.”

Now Taehyung was lying through his teeth. He remembered clearly, almost like it was yesterday. He smashed the nearest bottle, pulled his mother away from the monster that scared her and stabbed him. Not just once, not twice but thirty-seven times. Hence the thirty seven tattoo on the palm of his right hand (the one he’d actually killed his father with). There was only Taehyung who knew what it meant, he counted every single time the broken glass pierced his father’s body, he counted with a smile on his face and a chuckle in his throat.

You were at a loss for words. Your mouth gaped in shock, eyes wide and your brain scrambled for the right thing to say. You reached over and grabbed his hand, interlacing your fingers. His thumb running back and forth along your hand. “I’m sorry, I can’t imagine what that must’ve been like.” There was no way you could relate, your mother and father were happy and in love. They had the ideal relationship, one you wished for yourself. You could empathise though.

“You don’t need to be sorry baby, it’s in the past and I’ve moved on from it. I was like you though, poisoned by the roots that keep you on the ground even though you wanted nothing more than to break free and be no longer.” A silence fell over you both before Taehyung uttered, “I wasn’t successful with my attempt so now I’m here to help you.”

Warmth spread throughout your body, a smile graced your features as you no longer felt alone.

You had a completely different idea to what those words actually meant.

It was nearing the evening when Taehyung’s car had been fixed. Yoongi popped his head in the kitchen to tell him but stopped himself so as to not interrupt the scene before him. You were laughing along to whatever Taehyung was babbling about with your hand resting on his bicep, with that look in your eyes that he hadn’t seen for years. Yoongi felt himself smile as he saw you hanging onto Taehyung's every word.

For the first time in forever, you looked alive.

Yoongi cleared his throat which drew yours and Taehyung’s attention, “Sorry to interrupt guys. We’ve finished with your car so whenever you’re ready we’ll be outside.” The infamous gummy smile overtook his features, you felt yourself beam in return.

“Thanks man! I’ll be like, five minutes.”

Yoongi nodded his head in reply and swiftly left the room.

You’d taken Tae’s hand into yours, playing with the array of rings that occupied his fingers. Solemn thoughts overtook, am I not gonna see him again? Was this, whatever this is, over before it had even begun? Your eyes stayed on his hand as you turned it over and traced your finger over the inked ‘thirty seven’ on his palm. “What does this mean?”

Taehyung didn’t think twice before he practically beamed out, “It’s my lucky number.”

The difference was, it wasn’t really his lucky number… although he did see it that way. It was the number that had stayed with him. It was something he was proud of, whenever he looked at the hand that killed his father, his chest filled with pride and a joyous feeling overtook his senses. It was his first murder. Something he relished in and thus, created the onslaught of Jigsaw killings. He targeted a certain type— those whose sins would lock them up forever if they were ever found out. Racists, murderers, rapists, drug dealers, con-men. Authoritative figures who abused their power. He even went as far as subjecting suicidal people.

You see, things aren’t sequential. Good doesn’t lead to good, nor bad to bad. People who steal, don’t get caught, they live the good life. Others lie, cheat and get elected.

Some people would call it karma but Taehyung, he called it justice.

He’d started this with one thing on his mind— those that don’t appreciate life do not deserve it.

Whenever a serial killer was on the loose, the press did what they always did. They gave them a nickname. While the public had named the doll Billy. The actual killer was named ‘Jigsaw’.

This stemmed from the jigsaw piece that was cut from the victims skin, no one knew why he was doing it or what it even stood for.

It did have a meaning although unknown to the public.

The jigsaw piece that was cut from the subjects was only ever meant to be a symbol that that subject was missing something. A vital piece of the human puzzle. The survival instinct.

After all, until a person is faced with death, it’s impossible to tell whether they have what it takes to survive.

Across town an underground abandoned warehouse, was where the next subject had found themselves.

They were suspended in the air, their feet merely dangling above the ground. The putrid smell of death lingered in every crevice, the sound of rats scurrying along the concrete floor filled their ears just as they began to stir awake.

A pain in their ribs was the overwhelming factor to them finally coming around. When they groggily opened their eyes, they were paralised with fear due to the scene in front of them.

A doll sat a few feet ahead, perched upon a tricycle. Adorned with a black suit and a red bowtie. A slow red light flashed in his eyes.

Billy.

Before the subject could even register how, when or why they found themselves trapped in a test, footsteps echoed behind them. The subject called out, “Help! Please, somebody help! I shouldn’t be here!”

A tsk reached their ears, as a disembodied voice replied, “Trust me, no one can hear you. Scream all you like. You’d just be wasting your breath, you may as well cherish it before it's gone.”

With hairs stood on end, the subject stilled. “What do you want from me?”

“I don’t want anything from you.” The man's footsteps grew louder. “I’m here to serve justice, that’s all.”

The man rounded the subject, settling in their view with only his cloaked back visible while he tended to the little doll. He touched Billy delicately—like he was a little child that he loved dearly. He combed his gloved hand through the doll's black hair and eventually pulled his fingers from the tresses to pat his head gently.

“You fucking psycho! Let me go!”

He couldn’t help but laugh at that which only infuriated the subject more causing them to shake in anger, a movement they soon ceased when they realised something was penetrating their ribs.

“I’d be very careful if I was you, we wouldn’t want you hurting yourself now… would we?” The cloaked figure spun around. An angry glint to his eye.

“What the fuck, you’re fucking crazy. Let me out, this isn’t right!” The subject tried their hardest to swing their legs, to somehow kick the man who’d imprisoned them.

“I think you’ll find it is right. You’re unworthy of the body you possess.” He inched closer, “see, when someone purposely intends to harm others, they lose their right to life.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

The man arched a brow as he replied, “Don’t play dumb. You know exactly what I’m talking about.” He felt like it was a game of cat and mouse except, he was a tiger and his subject, was the tiniest prey to mankind. “But, let me remind you! Since you can’t get your thick fucking head to work. You’re a liar, a cheater and an abuser. That ring any bells?”

The subject's face dropped.

“Ah, I see by your expression you know exactly what I’m talking about! Glad to see we’re on the same page.” He shrugged his cloak off placing it to the side of the doll. “I want to play a game.”

“What game? This isn’t a fucking game! You’re sick in the head you fucking cunt!”

The atmosphere shifted, the man remained calm while the subject went ballistic.

“What is this? What fucking game?”

“You feel the machine that’s currently occupying your ribs? Well, in about ten minutes that’s going to rip you apart. I’m proud to say that trap is my baby. I’ve been working on it especially for you! How nice is that?” he reached out to tug at the subject’s legs, tormenting them like a cat would a mouse. “Anyway, as my beautiful angel trap will rip you apart, my darling little friend Billy over here,” the subject followed the direction the man's hand pointed, “is going to match your face with the ugliness of your soul.”

“Fuck, fuck this! How do I stop it? Tell me how I fucking stop it!”

A boxy grin overtook the man's face, laughter poured from his mouth as he leaned over and slapped the subject’s leg. “This is a special game.”

“Who are you? What do you mean by ‘special game’?”

He raised himself so he stood tall and grabbed a knife from his pocket, “I’m the man you call Jigsaw.” He traced the tip of the knife along the subject’s ankle, “and when I say a special game… I mean you can’t get out.” While the subject was screaming in realisation, Taehyung walked back for his cloak, hung it over his shoulder and stalked off back the way he came. He sent one last smile to the subject as he rounded them and within the blink of an eye, he gripped the knife and slashed the subject’s achilles.

A chilling scream pierced the eerie atmosphere, the subject couldn’t string words together. Abundances of anxiety, terror and pure panic took reign of their body. Taehyung grabbed the injured muscles and forced his gloved fingers in as he gripped and twisted them, “That’s for Y/N.”

Taehyung had pressed the timer before he cut the subject’s tendons. He grabbed the tape from his pocket and threw it on the ground and with a chuckle he shouted, “Game over!”

Before he reached the end of the hallway, he heard the gunshots pierce his subjects face followed by the sound of the angel trap, even this far away Taehyung heard every crack of the ribs and the noise of the body being tore apart.

Without looking back, Taehyung rounded the corner and slammed the door shut.

He’d chosen the Angel trap for the irony, the subject that was currently hanging from the ceiling was no angel. They were a fucked up, evil, waste of space. Taehyung had done the world a favour, he’d done you a favour.

That got him thinking, how much blood would you shed in order to stay alive?

[a/n: who do we think was in the trap???👀]

[artreider]

Station 19 rewatch: 4x14

Going to try to do another rewatch before my family wakes up. We have a lot to do today and there is a dark cloud over the house after loaing our cat this week. Here's hoping i can get through one of my favorite episodes before they get up.

Surrera is so cute here and the whole food thing, like girl where is our payoff on this baby that was so clearly teased. Or is there another medical condition that could be blamed on her excessive eating.

Im so glad maya and andy are friends again. I loge their friendship.

I'm glad andy acknowledges that getting married doesnt fix things; but i worry that if maya and carina hit a rough patch, andy will remind maya of this conversation or use her own issues with sullivan and their marriage as an i told you so.

Danielle is beautiful but does anyone else think she lost weight, random question but just looking at her in her uniform there she seems smaller and it worries me. Didnt really notice last time i watched this episode but am i alone in this.

Oh carina baby you so dont want to go. I just want to hug you.

Jack is so cute, he deserves a family so much but i really do fear he'll be killed off.

Im surprised ben reached out to Sullivan instead of dean.

I love this outfit on maya. Carina your girl is flirting with you and thinking of happier times, engage with her.

I love that maya opens up with carina about her dad and the protests and the happenings in the world with him. It shows so much growth and im here for it. Also anyone else annoyed that one carina answered gabriella's phone call when maya is opening up to her and two that she didnt turn it off for their last few hours together.

The look of like disappointment/devestation on maya's face when carina answers the call and walks away from her is too much hurt.

So sad that bailey isnt there and that ben is alone for even a second of this.

I'm glad andy and sullivan came to be there with ben. Like i get why they wanted andy but im sad after ben and Dean's episode dean wasnt there.

Oh jack, i dont even know what to say besides oh jack lol.

The drama with trash girl is too much lmao. I know its important for jack/inara but its just too much.

Carina packing up her knives being a trigger for maya like she's leaving forever is heartbreaking.

Carina snapping at maya hurts, dont be mean to baby. Also the kitchen sign is totally carina's doing and though she hadnt confided in maya yet that she is her home its a dead giveaway.

I really need screen grabs of the changing words on the sign.

The kids talk, the coming out talk and the marriage talk are all things that should not be done while packing or doing anything else.

Wait it totally sounded like she said "it felt pregnant" lmao or i just have babies on the brain.

Now carina being flirty and maya not reciprocating.

Maya you shouldve pushed the marriage talk now if it was what you really wanted. Instead of letting carina drop the i never wanted to get married bomb and walk away.

Andy and ben together, this friendship is beautiful. I feel like it took several seasons for ben to really get in good the team. Im trying to think of other moments besides the prt support and such when he really connected with folks before this season and none come to mind. He has been an outlier from my memory, tell me im wrong with examples please.

Lmao "you slept with my wife which means we are in a pod", things a pandemic makes funny.

Thats just wrong, giving gibson shit still. Dont hit the puppy with the newspaper when he's doing nothing wrong.

Once again with gabriella, seriously carina turn off your phone and be present with maya and maya alone.

Maya's jealousy is everything. This argument ugh, so good and just the tip of the iceberg.

I hope that maya does take the month break and the months after to really get to know the us immigration system and what it will take for carina to become an american citizen as well as learn more italian. I dont need her fluent but id love to see her use some italian with carina. She lost her brother who she spoke to in her native tongue itd be nice for her to gain that in her wife.

I love how carina stops herself as she raises her voice at maya, like she realizes it may be triggering to maya. I really do think the show and actresses put in a lot in this episode to show how well they know each other and have grown. I feel like they talk more even if we dont see it and maya is working on her issues with carina's love and support. I also do love how this argument ends though ;)

Once again maya opening up and finally carina is there and not sidetracked. And its nice carina opens up as well.

Ben's dream with the different versions of himself and his mom is funny and heartbreaking.

Joey in the dream lmao.

The nice thing about ben is if he gets hurt on the job and cant be a firefighter anymore he has other professions to fall back on.

Oh jack. I just want you to get your happy ending.

I still think its so weird to be talking about jack after they had sex but im glad they are in a place that is so comfortable and can laugh about him.

Once again another bomb dropped, kids. This is something that needs to be discussed properly.

Oh maya dont drop the marriage bomb like that. And i guess i dont underatand the outrage of the "just because", like why would carina think it was anything but that when it was dropped on her like that and after she said she didnt want to get married. This fight is so much about misunderstandings and hurtful comments.

I get how maya's fear gets the best of her here especially after carina said they just moved in together because they didnt want to be apart (asif that is a bad thing) and it was bureaucracy.

And i can understand why maya's fear hurts carina but they both needed to take a minute to breathe and try to talk it out.

I do like when carina tells maya to breathe, again like she knows her triggers and feels maya is on the verge of a panic attack.

If carina felt she married maya when she moved in i really dont see the harm in making it official. Would her having been moved out in italy for 6 months or more have felt like a divorce. I really need to know more about her logic here.

I agree why not just do it.

You've both said enough carina. I hate that she just walks away, so un carina like.

How did jack end up at the hospital? Was he called or what?

Andy is such a good friend this episode, checking on everyone.

Gabriella is so right noone wants to be proposed to the way maya kind of did. Like i cant help but wonder how carina would've taken a true proposal.

Im so glad gabriella spoke some truth to carina and turned her around on the marriage idea.

If we let the wrong decisionss rule how we live our lives things in the world would be so different. Less babies possibly and fewer marriages among other things.

Once again andy being a good friend this episode.

If carina hadnt shown up im curious what maya's next move wouldve been after talking to andy.

Love the proposal and love how its carina who announces they are getting married.

[hotchley]

damaged

Well...

It's been a hot minute since an actual fic hasn't it?

Do you want to know my return is? This shambles, which is 1184 words of Hotch being sad and signing the divorce papers. Does it make sense? I don't know! But I wrote it in a few hours, and it's basically just sadness, but I worked some lines I loved very much into it... so let's just go with it! If anyone dares label this as Haley Bashing or Hotch Crit, I will fight you because I love them both very much and this was more just an excuse to make Hotch cry. Whoops.

Also, yes, it is not lost on me that my first fic with the hotchley url is sad hotchley shit, I had something fluffy planned, it did not work and ergo, we are here. Oh yes: no proofreading whatsoever lol and listening to Little Talks- Of Monsters and Men may make it hurt more? I don't actually know

Trigger Warnings: divorce, implied child abuse

read on ao3!

He signs the papers as soon as he returns to the office.

They’ve been taunting him since the day he received them. He put them in his bottom drawer. He didn’t even bother taking them home, knowing he would be spending more time in the office than in the house.

It hadn’t hurt when Haley sent them to the sixth floor, even though the embarrassment had been so overwhelming he’d had to walk away from everyone before they saw how his cheeks had reddened and his eyes pricked with tears. He knew emotions were an unpredictable and difficult thing to cope with.

He knew she would never truly hurt him, and the moment the weight of her actions hit her, she would apologise. And it wasn’t because he had profiled her. He just knew her. The same way she knew him.

(She did send a message apologising. He didn’t have the words to explain it was him that should be begging for forgiveness, so he ignored it. Just like he did with everything in his life that was overwhelming.)

He put them in his bottom drawer because it was the drawer he used the most. Erin looked in the middle drawer for things like staples and elastic bands. The rest of the BAU looked in his top drawer for their favourite snacks and comfort items. Everyone knew to not look in the bottom drawer.

It had his profile of George Foyet. And the divorce papers.

He’s read them a thousand times over, knowing deep down that he doesn’t want to go to court, that he doesn’t want to challenge the custody agreement or Haley’s possession of the house or anything written in them. He doesn’t… he does care, but not in the way everyone seems to think.

Haley deserves to be happy. She is the one that has come up with the terms of the agreement, and that is more than she should have had to do. So Aaron doesn’t want to go to court, but he does want to see Haley. Just to be sure that she’ll be okay.

He wants to see her for reasons that are completely selfish, so he doesn’t argue. He just avoids her, and tests her limits till they’re reached and she does the one thing she hates doing: phoning the BAU.

It’s being informed by JJ that Haley called that makes him realise what he’s been doing. He’s been forcing Haley to remain in limbo, to struggle along and feel miserable because he’s not ready to let go. To move on and accept that he’s going to be alone again. That he is going to prove his mother and father right. They always said he was unlovable.

Haley had always convinced himself that wasn’t true, but maybe it is. Maybe he’s destined to be alone.

But in the moment, that isn’t what matters. What matters is the pain he’s causing. It doesn’t matter that Jessica and Haley don’t feel angry with him, they’re angry because they know his thought patterns and if it’s not anger, it will be sadness, or that all Haley wants him to do is what’s best for Jack, because in the moment, Aaron despises himself.

He hates himself. He sees himself as a coward. As a man so afraid of the future that he refuses to let the past go, that he tries to keep time from passing and the world from spinning by refusing to set the ones he loves free.

But he can’t do that. He can’t stop any of it from happening, not without causing harm, so he takes the pen that Roy gave him as a wedding present- the irony is not lost on him- and he hesitates.

He reads the papers once more, even though he could recite them verbatim.

And then he signs them.

And he doesn’t feel anything.

No sadness, no numbness, no fury, no relief, no joy.

Just nothing.

It shocks him.

And rationally, he knows that he’s just shocked, that the full weight of what’s happened will hit him when he least expects it, but emotions aren’t rational and he suddenly feels terrified. Is this who he has become? Has he finally gone too far?

Will he ever feel again?

He drops the pen and closes his eyes. When he opens them, his signature stares at him. Haley’s is already above it, a mockery of the marriage certificate they signed all those years ago.

David Rossi once told him the same thing he said to Elle Greenaway: that divorce wasn’t uncommon in the BAU. He just never thought it would apply to him. And suddenly, he can’t be in the office that has come at the price it has. Nobody is ever going to love him again, and what will he have to show for it?

A hand that always trembles, scars that will never heal, and a team that only keeps him around because he can take the fall for their actions and pretend to not be human so they can carry on living.

Emily calls his name, and he gives her a shaky smile. She takes it for what it is: a plea to be left alone.

It hits him in the shower.

He’s reaching for the shower gel Haley always said was her favourite and his wedding ring glints in the light. He always showers with the lights turned off, but it’s late enough that the moon is high in the sky and able to seep through the blinds.

The wedding ring that she slipped onto his finger when they were happy and in love. The wedding ring that holds no worth anymore.

Because he’s signed the divorce papers.

He’s signed them.

Haley’s not his wife anymore.

Haley doesn’t want him anymore. Haley doesn’t love him enough to stay anymore. And it- because he cannot call it what it is, cannot shake the years of being told divorce was a synonym for failure, is definitely for the best, for both of them but it hurts.

It hurts so much that he wants to tear out the part of him that feels.

It hurts so much that he almost feels relieved that even if nobody loves him, he can still feel.

It hurts so much that the tears that fall down his cheeks and taste like salt and that mix with the shower water that continues to beat down on him mercilessly don’t feel like enough. They don’t convey how broken he is.

He’s never going to come home to a house full of lights again.

He’s never going to wake up because he can smell coffee again.

He’s never going to feel Haley’s mouth against his in a rare moment of passion again.

He’s never going to be her husband again.

He’s never going to be a husband.

He screams, and he cries.

But nobody soothes his throat. Nobody wipes his tears away. Not now Haley- the one person that never flinched at his humanity- is gone from his life.

He screams. And the abyss smiles back.

It’s gotten him forever.

[rojnapat]

ok. i’m speaking up about this because it’s fucking ridiculous. 

i am mentally ill. i have been there, exactly where both lola and eliott are right now. i’m clarifying this first, because i’m seeing so many people who have no idea what they’re talking about speaking up. 

yes, i agree with you all too, stigmatizing mental illness is wrong. demonizing mentally ill people is wrong. but there’s a MIDDLE GROUND you all are failing to see, and it you’re going straight into babying and blindly protecting harmful and unhealthy behaviors. 

yes, we have to understand that lola is 16, and what she’s been through, that recovery is not linear, of course, you’re right! but you know where you’re wrong? where you don’t see ANYTHING wrong with the fact that she openly pressured eliott into drinking. because eliott is mentally ill too, and if this scene had been reversed everyone would be LOSING IT talking about eliott being manipulative and such. yes, it is lola’s mental illness, the one triggering this unhealthy coping mechanism and everything that comes as a consequence of it, including dragging eliott down with her, but that doesn’t mean that what she did is “understandable” because it is NOT. 

destroying stigma does not equal accepting everything no matter how shitty it is. this is wrong, what lola did is wrong, it’s toxic, manipulative behavior, and while i can agree with you all that it’s pretty clear where it’s coming from, i fail to see the point in exhibiting this, and THIS SPECIFICALLY, as the part of the plot of a show that has as a main goal destigmatizing mental illness. 

miss me with ‘realism’ so much awful shit is also realistic and accurate to our current times and people lola’s age yet they won’t show it, because it misses the point of the show. yes, it’s ‘realistic’ (but it’s as common as the opposite, pushing people away to not hurt them!) for a mentally ill person spiraling to stop caring about the people around them and hurt them with their behavior, but, don’t you see it? that’s literally the way we’re always shown. this isn’t the representation we need this is the representation we always get and we HATE. 

the broken friend, the bad apple, the promiscuous bisexual, the loner addict, lola was supposed to BREAK this stereotype, not reinforce it. lola is supposed to be the character that shows us that it’s not the way it looks!! 

so, tldr: lola’s behavior just now was awful, but i’m not saying this as “let people hate on lola” i’m saying this in the way of HOW ARE YOU OKAY WITH US BEING REPRESENTED SO HORRIBLY, WHEN WE WERE PROMISED GOOD REPRESENTATION? 

like, do you understand it? do you understand that ‘realistic’ does not mean ‘good’ representation? do you understand that as a mentally ill bisexual if i wanted to see a character like the lola i was just shown i would just rewatch House MD and follow Thirteen’s arc more closely? i want to see healing, i want to see recovery, i want to see all the good that can happen WHILE still being mentally ill, i don’t NEED a reminder of all the bad every damn fucking show already gives me! 

so stop speaking over mentally ill people upset with this clip! stop using the word “realism”! a lot of fucked up shit is realistic! that’s not what we’re here for! and you KNOW damn well that’s not what we were promised.

[mrsmarymorstan]

Don't why the fans especially the manga readers are hyping about tooru breaking the curse when she didn't even do shit. she just went on that silly adventure and be an annoying crybaby whenever she learns something new about the curse. it was actually akito who broke the curse so i can't understand what you are all hyping tohru on.

Ah yes, I to remember the days when I’d be deliberately antagonistic just for fun and beat on female characters for showing emotions and caring about people. Or indeed, resent characters for having entirely realistic reactions to the cosmic horror and terror that surrounds them. Then I turned 16 and HER WE ARE ten years later and I get to see it from a whole new perspective! What fun. 

In your misguided attempt to cause drama by shitting on people having a good time by being excited about upcoming character moments, much like Dr Flemming’s unwashed petri dish, you have hit upon something that benefits further discussion and interest. 

That point being, was it TOHRU who broke the curse, or was it Akito? 

The answer, I believe, is both. SPOILERS FOR ANIME ONLIES TONY YOU ARE WARNED DO NOT @ ME AGAIN IF YOU MESS UP. 

When Tohru sets out to break the curse and stop the love of her life from being locked up in a cold dark room for the rest of his existence, she finds out that the curse is firstly, a bond of blood sworn by the spririts of the past and not something that can be physically manifested, and secondly, that the curse has already begun to break RE: Kureno. 

Now, there’s a LOT of theories about why Kureno’s curse broke and if it truly was some random event or if there was a trigger. I think it’s a combination of the two. It’s noted by the maids and by (I think) Shigure that this is the first time in a long time that the entire Juunishi are present. There is also a sizeable age gap betwee Hiro and Kureno, that would about match up between Hiro being an infant when Kureno’s curse broke. Ergo, I propose that his curse broke soon after their first New Year’s together as a complete banquet with no spaces missing. Save that of the cat, of course, but more on him later. 

Kureno is the rooster, and I believe that in legend the Rooster was seen as the closest to God because he could deliver messages between heaven and earth. Therefore it makes sense that the first to leave God alone, is God’s messenger. “We have had our final Banquet, it’s time to end the cycle.” 

Of course Akito/God does not have a positive reaction to this, and the loss of one Juunishi inspires a great sense of loneliness and fear within Akito similar to that which lead to the creation of the bond in the first place. We do not see God being willing to make any attempt to work on achieving the Cat’s wish of finally being able to form friendships beyond the Zodiac and forming bonds with the humans he was so afraid of before. 

And THAT is the crux of the matter. Tohru came into the Sohma’s lives and began to break the curse simply by forming close bonds with them all, and letting them into her life and react to the world around them. Hana and Uo are both friends with Kyo and Yuki, actively choosing to spend time together. We also see that in Kyo attending the same school as Yuki, it opens up that same school to Haru and Momiji where they too can form bonds outside of the Sohma influence. It’s a school THEY chose, not the single sex one Akito picked out. Equally this means we have to give some credit to Yuki for making the brave choice of defying his parents and Akito’s wishes by attending a mixed school, and Shigure (who continues to be the mastermind here) for goading Akito into allowing Kyo to also attend that school and not simply pay off the private school he was MEANT to attend and have them let him back in. 

It’s also no real surprise that the two other Juunishi whose curses break before the final scene are Momiji and Hiro. Hiro is shown to be forming bonds outside of the Zodiac too. Not only has he matured enough that he is able to understand things from Tohru’s perspective now and has a relatively positive relationship with her, he ALSO becomes a Big Brother with a little sister he adores. Again, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that his curse breaks whilst he is in the same room as her. The Sheep has formed a meaningful relationship outside of the Zodaic, so it is time for the Sheep Spirit to return to its original realm. We then have Momiji, who is absolutely desperately in love with Tohru and is also equally desperate to be allowed to have a relationship with his OWN sister. Momiji’s curse breaks only after he has gone through puberty though and reaches adulthood. It’s when he starts to truly understand the path that is laid before him, and where he stands in it. He WANTS a relationship with Tohru, but he can also recognise that she is in love with Kyo and that makes it all the more painful. He knows that as he ages he is only going to be made to feel more distant from his sister, and that hurts too. HOWEVER, Momiji doesn’t ever stop LONGING for meaningful relationships and a world beyond the life of the Zodiac. He recognises that he does not have anything really tying him to the Sohma anymore, and so his curse breaks. The rabbit spirit has no need to be part of the banquet, and so heads home.   

Now, as you can see, whilst Tohru is a key trigger in the breaking of the curse, she’s still not the one to actively do it, right? 

Well, wrong. Sort of. 

Take note that when we’re told the ACTUAL story of the Original Banquet , we find that the Cat was the first friend God ever made, and was also the first to die. It was the death of the cat that triggered God into creating the eternal bond that would always bring them together, and it was the cat’s terror and dismay at being forced into such a bond that caused them to disown him. The cat has, all along, simply wanted God to make friends. The first who had the curse take effect upon them, was the one who rejectd it the most and as such was then shunned forever more. The cat wanted God to make bonds outside of the Zodiac, and in turn the cat was forever banned form making those bonds. Even though we’ve been show the Cat was granted some realtionships in the form of Kazuma’s Grandmother; it is a relationship made out of pitty rather than love and understanding. 

Tohru though? Torhu is the God Damned (excuse the pun) Year of the Cat Fanclub PRESIDENT. Nobody loves and respects the OG Cat Spirit in the way she does. She emphasied with the Cat’s plight in the legend her mother told her, feeling sorry for them being tricked like that and being forced to miss out on being part of the legend. She wanted the cat to join the group! She cradled the cat’s body in much the same way God in his final moments, as instead this time Tohru brings him back into the light and forms a stronger and longer lasting relationship with the cat spirit through love and empathy.

And later on, in that same mountainside, it is TOHRU who is the one who reaches out her hand to god and asks to become friends. It is the act of God forming friends with mortal humans that triggers Akito/God to finally release everyone from their curse. That’s why it happens when it does, when Akito knows that Tohru is safely out of hospital, that she has still welcomed Akito into her life... and that if Akito is going to take those terrifying steps into forming relationships that can end in rejection, she’s going to have to do it on her own two feet. 

THAT is how Tohru breaks the curse. THAT is what is important here and what is so FUCKING HARD ROCK about Tohru Honda. We see her willing to stand up to GOD in order to break the curse, but she stands before God as an EQUAL. Tohru WILL break the curse. She WILL fight for her soulmate. She WILL make you be friends with her and address your deep seated issues of self hate and abandonment (not that she has those issues herself ahahahha no I’m just your average happy go lucky teenager with two dead parents who lives in a tent I’M FINE) 

Of course, it turns out that everything Shigure and Kazuma told her about breaking the curse was true: That she didn’t have to do anything other than to continue to be herself. HOWEVER, in order to BE herself she needed to try and have a “silly adventure” where she tested her metal and learnt to speak up for herself. Why are we excited? Because we’re going to see Tohru finally find the confidence to speak out against others without harm! We see her get into a fight with Rin about it. We see her refusing to back down against Kagura. We see her standing on her own two feet and saying “No. No I don’t want that. I REFUSE to give in and to leave well alone!” 

All before, Tohru has been so scared to speak up for herself because of her debilitating abandonment issues (and please let’s not make fun of people’s mental health issues, okay? I haven’t been having a weekly therapy session for nearly two years now just because for the fun of it) but now she’s got to the point where she feels comfortable and secure enough to show an uglier side to herself that people might reject. She is able to be mean, and shout, and fucking break into someone’s house in order to get what she wants! How can a TRUE fruits basket fan NOT be excitd for that level of character development? 

And to end it, please, for the LOVE OF GOD it is 2020. I am 26 years old. I have been on tumblr since 2011. Do not send me hate about female fictional characters and expect me to roll over. My username is “Mrs Mary Morstan”. Mary. Morstan. The most hated female character in all of BBC Sherlock. Do not even try to fucking test me, you Petri Dish. 

[arsonanddahlias]

Concealer

This is one I wrote a little while ago about Reggies home life, which he tries to hdie from the boys. It does mention explicitly Child Ab*se and Implied s*lf harm so if those are triggering topics please be wary and skip this fic :)

Reggie stood in front of the bathroom mirror, and took a glance at his disheveled form. He certainly couldn't go to band practice looking like *that*.

Luckily, and perhaps concerningly, he was fully equipped for this situation, he didn't want to have to lie about bruises on his face and arms to his friends again, they'd barely believed him last time when he told them he'd fallen down the stairs.

To be fair, he thought, it was only half a lie. He had gone down the stairs, only less fallen and more pushed.

He'd gone out the next day and bought some tgrifted flannels for when it was too hot to wear his leather and some concealer which was probably the wrong shade.

Today wasn't the first time he had used them.

It's not that he wanted to lie to his friends, but the concern on their faces was too much to bear and he knew that it would eat them up that they couldn't intervene.

Really, he was helping them.

He heard another crash downstairs and flinched, hard. He'd almost been hit by another plate today, and the sound hit too close to home.

He gave himself a long look, trying to pinpoint different things he needed to do. He put on the flannel he kept clenching his fists around, which worked to hid the bruises and scars that his...... Dad...... Mostly..... Had left there. He grabbed the cheap concealer from his shelf and coated his face and neck. He put on a thick layer but it was barely enough, he couldn't afford the good stuff. He rubbed it in with his fingers and stepped back to check that he looked fine. His eyes were a little red but it'd probably be fine.

He snuck through the kitchen, trying to avoid the living room where he could still hear yelling. The air was humid, he should probably have grabbed a coat but it was way too warm outside. Grabbing his bike from their porch, he made his way towards their studio.

He was a little late and definitely stiffer in his performance, but if the boys noticed they didn't say anything. Other than some little mess ups that earned him jabs from the band, the rehearsal ran smoothly.

For once it was Alex who suggested they go to the pier, and all 4 boys readily agreed. Leaving their instruments scattered around the studio, they linked arms and headed towards the beach.

Maybe one of them should have checked the forecast before hand, though, because by the time they were there, torrential rain was bombarding them.

The boys laughed and huddled under a nearby bike shelter. It was late, so the streets were completely empty.

Suddenly, Luke stopped completely mid sentence, and stared at Reggie. Alex and Bobby, confused, followed his eye line to Reggie's face.

"Hmm? What. Have I got something on my face?" Reggie questioned.

He brought his hand up and touched his face, bringing it in front of his eyes.

"Shit"

Maybe he should have bought better concealer, or brought a coat, or thought even for a second that makeup does tend to melt in the rain.

At that point, none of those things were going through his mind.

They're going to find out. They found out. He's going to be so mad. Oh my god. Maybe they didn't.........

He ran.

He didn't care that it was raining anymore, he ran. He knew the boys would be chasing after him, and he didn't care at all.

He couldn't go home in this state. He couldn't go to any of their houses either, they're parents would call. Maybe he could hide in the studio? It was his best shot right now.

Maybe it was luck, maybe it was adrenaline, but he made it to the studio without any of the boys seeing him. Without much thought, he ran up the stairs to the loft and curled up into a ball.

They.... Cared about him.... Right? Or were they going to leave him, just like everyone else. Oh god, they were. They couldn't deal with his shit, it wasn't their problem. It wasn't their job to look after his broken self. He should leave, they wouldn't want him in their studio. They wouldn't want him in their band. They wouldn-

"Reg! Reggie are you in here". It was Alex. Reggie glanced over the railing at him. Maybe his luck wasn't the best, because that's when Alex decided to look up.

"Reggie thank god, I thought we'd lost you" He said softly as he climber the stairs

Reggie just looked up at the taller boy with big, brown eyes as Alex pulled him into a tight hug, sitting down next to him.

"Look, Reg, I'm not gonna force you to tell me anything, but we care about you. We want to know when things are getting bad again"

"I-" Reggies voice cracked and he shut his mouth. He didn't want to sound so broken. He silently wiped some of the concealer off of his face, and then took off his flannel and chucked it on the floor, revealing his bruised arms.

"Reg" Alex said with a softness that was reserved for him "I'm not letting you go back there"

"I- I have to"

"No" Alex said in a way that Reggie knew was useless to argue against.

Reggie sat, letting himself be pulled in to Alex's side. He ran his thumb over some of the too clean scars.

Alex glanced down, then have him a knowing look. "That wasn't.. That wasn't your dad was it"

Reggie shook his head, letting more tears spill out onto his wrists.

Suddenly Luke and Bobby were yelling from below them. They didn't have the... Softer touch that Alex had, but he could hear the concern in their voices.

"Up here!" Alex said, just loudly enough. He knew how much shouting affected the boy tucked beneath his arm.

Luke ran up the stairs quickly, and shoved himself on Reggies other side.

"You know we love you, right" He said, muffled by Reggies arm, which he was hugging tightly.

Reggie stayed silent. In truth, he didn't want to believe him. He didn't want to let them love him. He didn't want to hurt them.

"Yeah" maybe the first honest thing he'd said all night.

Bobby was never very affectionate, but he joined into their group hug, half to comfort Reggie, and half to make sure he didn't try to go back to his house.

Not home.

This was home.

The next day, when Reggie snuck into his house to get clothes, he chucked away his concealer.

[iyatsumu]

ABYSS; SHOTO TODOROKI

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Word Count: 2.9K

Trigger Warning: Mentions of blood and abuse

Author’s Note: Hello everyone! It’s been so long since I last updated the blog but I’ve been so busy with classes and moving into a new house that I simply couldn’t squeeze this into the schedule. But I have a Shoto fic for you all. This is a repost because I realized there were too many confusions in the story. Also, in this story, Shigaraki will be a tad bit older prolly around his early 40s. Enjoy and please remember to take care of yourselves!

"When will you get it together Shoto? Stop making a fool out of me and my name!" You were all too familiar with the booming voice on the other side of the door. Knocking on the door, you pushed it slightly to reveal a man who was surrounded with flames of fire, his back facing you. In front of him was a boy with dual-colored hair. His head was hung low as his father whipped his head back to look at you. "I'm very sorry to interrupt, but Sir Aizawa is looking for Todoroki." You said, trying your best not to sound nervous. As much as you'd love to deny it, Endeavor's presence always seemed to shake you to your bones. Endeavor turned towards Todoroki once more and sent him one last glare before leaving the room. As soon as the door slammed shut, you looked at Shoto. He was frowning, rage was evident in his eyes as he stood up and glared at you. "What?" He asks, venom lacing in his voice. "Don't give me that attitude Todoroki. Your hatred is not towards me but instead to your father, and I didn't come here to save you from his stupid lecture. Sir Aizawa is requesting your presence in his office." You said and threw a shirt at him. 

You turned around and directed your attention at the burnt marks on his wall, probably caused by his outbursts whenever his father comes around to threaten him. Endeavor and his hunger for being the best always drags him into Todoroki's room to scold him whenever he loses to Bakugo or Midoriya. The rivalry between the three most powerful students in your grade started during the first year of high school. You had just transferred midway through the school year with a recommendation from a number of Pro Heroes whom your mother worked for. In the span of 6 months, you had managed to climb into the high ranks of the year level with your outstanding performance in academics. As for the field of physical traits and using your quirks, you tried to stay in the sidelines. Doing just the bare minimum in order to avoid getting in between the rivalry of the three boys. Despite trying to hide your quirk, the teachers and some students like your close friends such as Momo and Uraraka, admit that your quirk is very powerful, even on par with 75% of the Pro Heroes in the country. However, you never let it get to you and you had always tried your best to keep it down, afraid of exposing your true identity, and possibly putting your friends and other people at risk. "I'm done. What does Sir Aizawa need?" You turned to face Todoroki who was now fully changed into something more casual and cleaner. He stood up and both of you exited his dorm room. "Not sure, he simply told me to get you from your room and we had to head to his office." You said and walked alongside Todoroki in silence. --- "Ryota, Todoroki. Take a seat." Your teacher, Sir Aizawa instructed as he walked over to his table. You and Todoroki made yourself comfortable on the plush sofa of his office. "I called you both here because as your teacher, I thought the two of you would be best suited to represent our class in the upcoming competition to be held a few weeks from now. The event is for a pair, male and female, of each class per year level to compete with other pairs. The B class has decided on Itsuka Kendo and Neito Monoma. I understand that you might be confused as to why I have decided on both of you. I have no doubt that Midoriya and Bakugo have potentials to win, however it is dangerous to put Midoriya out for he still has no control over his power and Bakugo's competitiveness could harm other contestants and without a doubt, also his partner. Todoroki, I trust that you can control the limit of your quirk and Ryota, I want you to showcase your quirk." Shit. "Is there no one else that could substitute me as Todoroki's pair?" You asked and Aizawa stood from his seat. He knew how you felt about your quirk and he had expected you to decline the idea. However, majority of the teachers have seen only glimpses of your power and they asked Aizawa to let you on the field some time. "I would've paired Todoroki with Yaoyorozu. But she insisted that you would be far more suitable compared to her." He said, patting your back. "So, what do you say? Are you both okay with this?" "Yeah." Todoroki answered dryly. He had never seen a good glimpse of your quirk, and this was a good chance to understand it and see how powerful you really were. Todoroki always had a hunch that you were far more powerful than what you seem to be. He admired the control you had over your quirk, how you were able to manipulate it to hide its destructiveness. No ordinary person would get into UA with multiple recommendations from Pro Heroes. Aizawa turned to look at you, hoping for you to accept the idea. You sighed and stood up, "Fine, but I am not missing classes just to train." You spoke. "Both of you will have special schedules wherein you are excused from hero training, just for this competition." Aizawa said and with that you nodded. "Now, with that aside, make sure to train well and you may now leave." He said and ushered both you and Todoroki out of his office. You huffed the moment the door was closed, and turned to head into your dorm room. "Hey where are you going?" Todoroki asked, following behind you. "It's Saturday, I'm going to my room and sleeping. Good bye." You said and continued walking. "Sleeping? Aren't you going back home or doing anything else?" He asked, still set on following you. "My mom won't be home until Wednesday, so I have no reason to be home and no, I am taking this moment to isolate myself from Bakugo's booming voice and hopefully from you as well." You turned and smiled sarcastically at him. "Your mom is Maki Ryota, right? The well-known researcher who studies quirks and how to manipulate them." He asked and you stopped walking to face him. "Yes. Look Shoto, I really need to rest so if you would, please leave me alone." You said and left him standing at the hallway. --- "Todoroki, Ryota. Get changed into your training uniform and proceed to the training grounds." Aizawa's voice rang through the speakers inside the classroom. Bakugo's eyes widened and sat up straight on his seat, clearly curious as to why you and Todoroki had training. "Training? For what?" He asked, his gruff voice did nothing to hide the curiosity in his tone. "Shoto and Y/N will represent our class in the Year 2 Duo Competition." Momo said and Bakugo slammed his hands on his desk, igniting explosions from his palm and fingers. "Ha? Why Half n' Half and the brat?" He shouted, Todoroki shook his head and grabbed his uniform from his bag. "Your attitude towards this proves Sir Aizawa's point as to why you were not chosen." You said and was about to walk out when Bakugo shot out a blast of his quirk towards your way. Feeling the heat coming towards you, your hand extended out and opened up a black hole with purple linings that sucked in Bakugo's explosion and the hole dispersed into nothing once more. Everyone was shocked at the situation that unfolded in front of them. No one had been able to withstand Bakugo's explosions without stumbling back, and with such quick reflexes. "Holy shit. Who knew Y/N could be so manly?" Kirishima yelled in awe as he fisted his arms in the air. "Damn you, you brat!" Bakugo shouted and sent an even bigger blow towards you. Before you could react, a huge shard of ice appeared in front of you. You glared at the boy who was beside you, an annoyed look played on his face. "Enough of these childish games, let's go Y/N." He said and dragged you out of the classroom. "When you get back here, let's duel Y/N. Fucking brat!" Bakugo's voice echoed through the hallway as Todoroki kept his tight grip on your arm. "Hey let go, your fingers are cold, it's causing bruises on my skin!" You writhe and Todoroki finally let go. You rub the bruised arm and glare at him. "Why do you even try to fight with him?" He asked, and places his hand on your arm once again. He regulates the temperature of his finger, the heat kissing the pain away from your skin. "I don't. I was simply stating a fact and defended myself after he tried to blow me up." You answered as both of you entered the training ground. In the middle of the cemented ground was Aizawa and Present Mic. "Welcome youngsters into your first training, we will try our best to shape you into your best selves before your competition. Are you both ready?" Present Mic greets, using his quirk to enhance the volume of his voice. "We're supposed to do what exactly?" You asked and Present Mic laughs at your question. "We know both of you are more than ready, so you and Todoroki will try to defeat me and Aizawa." He said and you stare at Todoroki in shock. "Start!" You were startled when Present Mic announced and suddenly Aizawa's binding cloth unwrapped around him and made its way towards you. You jumped out of place and landed a few meters away from Todoroki who already set a barrier of ice which protected him from Present Mic's voice. "That won't do! Present Mic's quirk can shatter even your ice." You told Todoroki and pulled him out of the way. "How do we avoid Present Mic's quirk and be out of sight of Eraser Head?" He asked, trying his best to keep composure. You scratched your head and peeked out from another barrier Todoroki created. "This is going to take a toll on my body but fuck it." You said and grabbed his hand. You created a big hole that was enough for both of you to pass through and shoved Todoroki into the hole. "Where are we?" He asked and you raised your arm to feel the air. Both of you were in darkness, pure nothingness.   "Welcome to Abyss, this is my quirk." You said and pulled him along, continuing to walk around in the darkness. "Abyss? I thought your quirk was sucking up powers?" Todoroki asked. "No, my quirk is somewhat like a portal that leads you to a different dimension. I pushed us in here because this was the only way to escape Present Mic's quirk. In order to counter his voice, you must be layers apart. Now I need to locate Sir Aizawa and pull him down here." You said, feeling around the darkness. "What good will that do us if you pull him down here?" Todoroki asked stumbling on his feet. "In Abyss, your quirks are rendered unusable. Only I can use my quirk in Abyss." You explained and halted at a certain point. "Here, I can feel Sir Aizawa's presence just above this point." You said and concentrated in creating another hole underneath Aizawa's feet. "Wait, even if we pull him down here, he still has his binding cloth." Todoroki grabs your hand before you could fully create a hole. "Great fucking job Shoto Todoroki. Now Sir Aizawa is aware of the hole I created and is moving away." You huffed and wandered around again. "It's not my fault you are being reckless Y/N." He defends and follows behind you. "You may think that, but there's much more Abyss has to offer other than being a quirk nullifying dimension. Now stop fucking getting in the way and just trust me." You snapped and stopped midway. "I have no choice but to make the ground a huge hole." You said and sat down, concentrating on your plan. After a few seconds, Present Mic and Aizawa dropped into Abyss, clearly confused at the foreign place. Present Mic, being unable to use his quirk, could be heard calling out to Aizawa from the distance. A white cloth seemed to extend forward and wrapped around Todoroki's leg before getting dragged away. Before Todoroki could be within Aizawa's reach, a slash came and tore the binding cloth. "What the hell?!" Aizawa shouted in disbelief and tried to come forward again with another cloth. The slashing came one after another and soon enough, Aizawa was exhausted. "Let's get out of here Todoroki." You grabbed him and opened a hole that led back to the training grounds. "What about Eraser Head and Present Mic?" Todoroki asked the moment you both landed back on the training ground. You sat down and touched your hands on the ground. "What are you doing?" He asked. "What I meant by my previous statement, is that Abyss can be controlled by me. I can alter whatever happens inside the dimension, an example is sending troops from abyss to attack the people who are trapped in it. I could also blow the place up." And with that, Present Mic and Aizawa appeared back on the training grounds with burnt marks all over their bodies. You smiled and walked towards them. "Are we done now?" You asked and Aizawa groaned. "Well done students. You may now rest up and be back for your afternoon classes." Aizawa said and stood up to exit the training ground, his arm resting on his bruised stomach. --- "Another failure Shoto! How could you lose to a low-ranking Pro Hero? And a girl protected you? This is not how I raised you. I didn't raise a failure who relied on a girl for protection!" Once again, you could hear Endeavor scold Todoroki in the corner of a hallway, isolated from other students and teachers. You had just gotten out of the bathroom to wash your face after your training, and the rumors of your training with Todoroki spread across the school and Pro Heroes quickly. As soon as Endeavor heard that he was not able to do much against Present Mic and Eraser Head, he immediately made his way to UA and give his son another stupid lecture. You didn't want to get in the way of their conversation but you really had to get to class. Hanging your head low, you tried to walk past them, but oh was the world mad at you. "You're the girl who beat Eraser Head and Present Mic huh?" Endeavor says, his voice deep enough to drown you. You stopped in your tracks and turned to look at him and nod. "You lost to this girl right here Shoto? What a disgrace!" He fisted his arm and tried to land a punch on Todoroki but your reflexes were far quicker and you caught his fist in your arm. "Oh, what is this? Look Shoto, a girl trying to defend you? Pathetic." He tried to apply more force into his fist but you didn't waver and gripped his fist. You could see the fabric of his gloves turning into ash. Endeavor thought that this was similar to someone's quirk. Tomura Shigaraki's Decay. "It seems that the rumors were true. You are the daughter of an abomination, Tomura Shigaraki's child. Y/N Shigaraki. Your mother fell in love with a damn villain and had you." You shook at his words and activated Abyss, his hand getting sucked into the dark dimension. You manipulated Decay on your foot and kicked Endeavor, causing him to stumble away and an evident bruise on his stomach. Your Decay was something a little different to your father's, whereas you could manipulate it to work on different parts of your body that could make contact with someone else. Grabbing Todoroki's arm, you pulled him out of the training grounds and away from his damn father. "I don't need your pity or your help." Todoroki said and pulled away from you. You stared at him in disbelief and scoffed. "My father was right. I am a failure for having someone like you protect me." He spat and you felt tears prick your eyes. This was the reason why you never wanted to show your quirks to anyone. Chances of them finding out that you were Tomura Shigaraki's daughter would stir trouble. No one would ever want to be friends with someone whose father was a murderer and villain. "And I was wrong to think that saving you from your father was a good idea. Both of you are alike, fucking jerks." You said and left him standing in the hallway. You walked quickly into your room, trying to ease the burned skin caused by Endeavor's fist surrounded with fire. A droplet of blood escaped your mouth as the after effects of Abyss chased after you. Todoroki was just like everyone else. He was a jerk whose pride was far more important than his emotions and friends. You were foolish to even think that you could be a good pair to represent the class in the competition. You hated him. Very much. As you bled out in your room, a certain someone was left motionless in the hallways. Tears stung his eyes as he realized his mistake. As you tried frantically to ease the burnt skin on your arm and wiping away the blood from your lips, Todoroki tried his best to compose himself and apologize. But he knew that by doing so, you still wouldn’t forgive him. May luck simply be on his side during the competition.