#Because he does not seem to realize it
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[ID: A limited palette of green and pink, Vashwood comic. The first page serves as a prologue. The first panel shows Vash speaking to someone off screen while Wolfwood is lingering behind him. A black arrow is drawn pointing at him. In the second panel, Vash is buying donuts in the distance while Wolfwood is once again in view, lingering. and the black arrow is drawn pointing at him. In the third panel, Vash is leaving a cubicle and turning towards his right with a slightly peeved expression. He sees Wolfwood, leaning against the cubicle, waiting for him, and with the black arrow drawn, pointing at him, implicating the consistent hovering of Wolfwood’s presence during Vash’s everyday. At the bottom of the page, they’re drawn out of panel with Vash turning to Wolfwood and saying with an irritated expression, “You’re really following me everywhere, huh?” Wolfwood responds, “What, you got a problem?” Vash responds without hesitation, “Yeah, kinda...”
The second page starts with a new day. In the first panel, Vash is seen alone, weighing apples in his hands at a mart, with crowds passing behind him. In the second panel, he turns to his right and starts to say, “Hey, Wolfwood...” In the third panel, he’s startled from seeing a stranger, whom he’d accidentally called out to when he was expecting to see Wolfwood. He says, “Oh, you’re not him. Sorry!” In the fourth panel, the stranger walks off and Vash muses, “Right, he said he had something to do today...”
The third page begins with a close up of Vash's miffed expression, the continuation of Vash's thoughts, "Now that he's not here, this is just like how I used to be, but... It feels lonely somehow. Oh well, I'll see him again tonight, like always." In the second panel, it shows Vash walking through the marketplace crowd, alone. In the third panel, the door panel is a close up of the door opening with a peek of Vash's head. He says, "Wolfwood!" In the fourth panel, Vash is holding a bag of food with a bright smile and says, "Are you hungry? I got you something to eat today!"
The fourth page begins with a shot of the room, two beds being highlighted, one of them being made properly with the blanket draped over the bed and the other with the blanket folded and pillow sitting on top of it. There's no sign of Wolfwood. The second panel shows Vash with a disappointed look as he thinks, "He's still not here?" The third panel shows Vash putting the bag of food on the table. Stapled to the paper bag is the receipt with a written note "For Wolfwood." Vash's thoughts continue "He does like to stay out so, I guess there's no reason to worry..." The fourth panel shows Vash sitting his bed somberly with his thoughts continued, "It's not any of my business anyway..."
The fifth page starts with a close up his blank expression as he looks downwards, thinking, "Even if he left completely... That'd be understandable and better for him. I'll just travel alone again... like before... Huh?" The next panel shows Vash's composure break, tears welling up in his eyes suddenly, as he didn't expect to cry. He starts to sob, putting his hands to his face to quiet himself and wipe at his tears, as he says, "Ugh... Dammit... I miss h..." The last panel shows Vash leaning over into his hands, still crying, and in the back, the door swings wide open with a bam as Wolfwood walks through with the punisher swung behind him. He shouts, "SPIKEY! You in here?!"
The sixth page starts with Wolfwood confused, looking at Vash and Vash looks back, just as confused, with tears in his eyes and snot out of his nose. Wolfwood starts saying, "Ah? You..." No longer in panels, at the bottom of the page, Wolfwood takes the Punisher off of himself and starts to walk towards Vash, continuing with slight concern, "What's wrong with you? Did something happen?" Vash, hurriedly begins to wipe at his tears, denying immediately, "No! No, I'm fine! Nothing happened!"
The seventh page, Vash points towards the table, with a hand still wiping at his tears and he smiles as he says, "I uh got you food. On the table." Wolfwood looks towards to the table and responds, "Oh. I was getting hungry, thanks." He turns his head back to Vash immediately after with an uncertain expression, knowing the other wasn't responding to his concern, and says, "But, I know you're an idiot with this stuff, so I'm reminding you again. Don't brush it off if it's an issue, alright?"
The eight page, Vash's tears have dried and he looks to Wolfwood with a soft smile and responds, "Yeah. It's okay though..." A panel at the center shows a side view of Vash approaching Wolfwood. At the bottom of the page, with no panel, is a close up shot of Vash's hand, holding onto the edge of Wolfwood's jacket sleeve, as he says, "Because you're here now. Wolfwood."
The final page is a back shot of both of them standing next to each other, Wolfwood's head tilted slightly to the left, not fully believing Vash as he says, "That doesn't answer anything, Spikey." Vash responds, "There's no need to talk about it! You should enjoy your food. Let's have a drink too?" Wolfwood responds, "Tsk, tsk. Fine, yeah. I could use one." END ID]
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#but onto this comic... i think and talk a LOT about vash's loneliness bc trigun is just. kind of central on that for a good while! esp in#the original manga he was alone for a good portion of it and he tends to keep others away like how he ran away from meryl and milly when#they tried to tag along. and he was kind of bothered when he realized ww was following him around Too. at the core even though he loves#humans and he loves deeply the people he does know -- he isnt really much of a people person and i think thats been the case since he was#young considering his initial doubts towards humans... with the exception of kids bc kids dont give him moral conflicts. so suddenly#here comes wolfwood!!! his guide. someone TRULY affixed to him until he has to get to knives. someone who isnt budging and someone whos#really good at following him around and even seems like he goes like 5 steps ahead to make sure vash doesnt run on him#in one way its - i don't want you to follow me bc i don't want to burden you and i don't want you to kill the people i want to save.#in another way its - i like this companionship. i like waking up to you and i like ending the way with you. i like talking to someone who#knows my world. i like being in your space and sometimes i enjoy talking about our day#theyre just living together. like. roadtrip buddies or theyre also under the same roof because they're going everywhere together.#trimax they mainly spend their mornings together and if they had personal business attend the other person would usually know and itd only#be during the midday. anyway bc of this kind of companionship i figure that vash eventually grew accustom to it and he really. cant go back#to the kind of loneliness from before. it's harder to imagine and it'd be harder to withstand. esp after 2 years with lina and her grandma.#ruporas art
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THE MOMENT NAOMASA REALIZED THE EXTENT OF WHO ALL MIGHT ACTUALLY IS
For refrence; a side by side comparison of how Naomasa knows All Might vs how Toshinori is when he actually lets loose
#bnha#my hero academia#yagi toshinori#naomasa tsukauchi#it was at this moment naomasa realized#toshinori isn't just a good guy who wants to do good#but an absolute freak of a man who NEEDS it#the first time in Naomasa'a entire life he's seen Toshinori's eyes actually light up and him smile out of sheer euphoric joy#and he's realizing he really never had a chance at keeping Toshinori out of the battle#he's realizing nobody ever had a chance at getting All Might to back down and accept retirement#Toshinori is awkward and soft spoken among people#for he does not know how to fit in there#he tries but he always seems a bit uncomfortable or distracted#but there- right there- Toshinori is THRIVING#Toshinori is a deranged feral individual who is damn right terrifying#naomasa is realizing that the entire time everyones been unaware how much of a monster the symbol of peace really is#because toshinori is tame#he's on their side#he's the symbol of peace and hope#it's like thinking you have a pet golden retriver#only to realize you have a dog that's built to hunt bears#and watching your once percieved golden retriever#tear into a monstrousity that had you quacking#like its the most natural and right thing in the world to them
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lucanis truly has a near terminal case of burned out golden child syndrome. caterina fucked both of these kids over so incredibly bad with the dynamic she enforced there, with illario being labled the perpetual fuckup kid where lucanis 'could do no (would never be allowed to do) wrong'. the way he admits in the first coffee date scene that the only thing that happened when he showed he could carry the weight of expectation was that more weight was added makes me so sad. you can hear it in caterina's voice in his intro mission that she's incredibly proud of him, but this is clearly a leandra and hawke situation where that pride never translates into relief or resolution or unconditional warmth or understanding or anything that really helps.
#you messed up an excellent little autistic dude caterina look at him he has no personal life and his only friend is his scar-ass cousin!!#because that's what you told him he has to be and he believed you!!!#all that and you wouldn't even let him have a wyvern dagger just for fun and b/c it makes him SO happy? when i get you caterina dellamorte#I'm finding the crow family drama so compelling in this game I'm just hanging around treviso Observing haha#I wish they'd given illario a bit more nuance in this (as I feel he does have in the wigmaker job)#b/c with the sheer pantomime susness he's got going on they really don't want you to engage with him deeply haha#also teia mvp as always but I think that goes without saying (and happily all these lads around her seem to know it)#both lucanis and viago like 'thank you teia you're the best 🥺' and she's like 'yeah I know'#protective big sis of the remaining crow family haha. and she's got to be barely thirty years old at this point. I'm love her so much#'*annoyed voice* MAKER HELP US' she's saying what we're all thinking#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#I think my rook is having some uncomfortable moments of realizing some parallels here with their own relationship to the watchers haha#like 'buddy you're so much more than just a tool for your family to use. I however have a sacred duty I was banished from#the fulfilment of which determines my entire worth and that I am low-key mourning behind the levity b/c that's what I was made for. ...wait#I feel like rye was more the illario & lucanis combo only child tho. wants so much to be good but keeps getting into Shenanigans#chaotic underachiever with frankly upsetting potential when they actually get their act together and they WANT to so bad#but also. shenanigans keep happening. releasing blighted gods is only barely the wildest of them
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My personal interpretation of Kavetham is that Alhaitham is aware of his feelings for Kaveh and he’s just accepted them, shrugged and continued living his life. It’s just a fact to him now. And if someone asked him if he ever planned on telling Kaveh, he’d be like, “It’s none of his business.”
#genshin impact#alhaitham#al haitham#kaveh#kavetham#kavehtham#haikaveh#alhaitham’s just like ‘are you stupid. why would i do that.’#and it’s not because he’s like. afraid of rejection or whatever. that doesn’t matter to him or factor in at all#it just seems like it’d be a hassle#kaveh on the other hand despite also being a genius of equal caliber to alhaitham#does not realize they are married even though they are jointly filing their taxes#also jsyk i am not saying kaveh is oblivious. i am saying they both express and interpret feelings and others actions differently#and are also both insane
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i'm having hyperfixation drought so i did what i did best and created a crossover episode
#trafficblr#life series#hermitcraft#qsmp#the drought's been crazy i had to make qsmp x life series/hermitcraft you don't understand i literally had to#i literally cannot tag all of the cubitos without going over the limit so i'm gonna use them to rant about these doodles instead#when i tell you that i think dl!pearl would've loved tilín i'm telling you i think she would've LOVED them like.#something about just wanting to find love at every turn but feeling unwanted spdihgpisadhfpa. and also tilín's name is similar to tilly LOL#the jelly egg is just like if the double life jelly pandas were just an egg that scar loves with all his heart and grian reluctantly accept#i think out of all the duos in qsmp. the one i would want to see in the dl soumate premise the most is slimeriana. it's the dysfunctionalit#i made a post in the past about pac and tango being my fav cubitos bcs they were both crazy cartoonish and like scientists#but it kinda felt like a disservice to leave mike and zedaph out because to me they're argubly crazier and more cartoonish#missa and tim are paired bcs i just really wanted an excuse to draw the wet cats and it just so happened they both have relations to death#skizz and jaiden as the lawyers who were SHOCKINGLY good at their jobs like they cooked with that one#(was also gonna draw joe and roier as bad lawyers but i was running outta steam)#someone's already made a post about grian and (el) quackity and their eye entities so not much elaboration needed there#fit and etho just give the same vibe to be as a dude who has a reputation and is well-known and seems intimidating#i also made fit's arms way too skinny and i don't like it...but i'm not gonna go back and change it now i spent embarassingly long on this#but then his silliness is brought out by The Narrative#foolish and bdubs is one of my favorite drawings because i just knew i wanted to highlight the silly height difference#just realized they're also both god-like figures at least at some point#cellbit and rendog. cat and dog and lore. enough said about their connection.#i couldn't decide who fit etoiles combat hungry anime protagonist vibe best bcs martyn was originally paired with him#but i wanted martyn with phil so i went with my second options: joel and gem#i couldn't draw them mid rage but essentially the title is derived from “WHO KILLED EMPANADA” and “do me a favor. die for me.”#philza minecraft and martyn inthelittlewood. they feel like twins but one is evil (it's martyn)#SOMETHING I FORGOT THAT I WISH I ADDED: BBH AND BIGB AS THE ENTITIES WHO LIE. I HATE MYSELF HOW COULD I FORGET THAT#if i were to pair impulse with someone it would be tubbo? either him or scar would've been with tubbo#and then lizzie i just did not know who i wanted to pair her with. no one really does it like her in my opinion#scott's someone i also had no idea who to put him with he's just so...him...
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#iasip#it's always sunny in philadelphia#always sunny#macdennis#macden#analysis#meta#a beautiful smile to hide the pain...#what if i told you this post was inspired by me listening to SURFACE PRESSURE from encanto and thinking ''it's mac''#who am i if can't carry it all. if i falter......#i think if dennis could see mac's hole that hes hidden so well it would humble him. because he thinks mac doesn't care. he does#hes under a lot of pressure all the time. self imposed. to make sure everyone is safe. shouldering it all and pretending to be fine.#to be worthy of their love. to be in control#if they could see each other's holes and realize how similar yet opposite their experiences are... like foils.#hiding their vulnerability from the other#i could talk about this dynamic of taking care of each other for days dont try me#can we talk about also that part in hits theroad where they were talking abt a guy seeming fine then going crazy right before mac says that#can we acknowledge that it was about mac. and he really could snap any moment from the pressure#the more demanding dennis is of his help. the thinner mac is spread. can weeee talk about ittttt#parallels
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Randomly consumed today by the thought of henghill cuddles, but like from a specific point in their relationship, like after they've only recently started laying in the same bed together.
It's something that takes them a long time to work up to; they both have nightmares, and yeah, Dan Heng is a Vidyadhara and he can heal himself beyond anything Boothill could accidentally do to him, but still. Boothill is made of metal now. He's heavy. It wouldn't take much, just a single flailing limb to cause some damage. He still gets up after Dan Heng falls asleep, and sneaks down into the guest cabin in one of the other cars.
But he'll lay in bed with Dan Heng until then. At first Boothill would always try to situate a blanket between them, because well. Metal isn't exactly pleasant to cuddle. But more and more lately, he's noticed Dan Heng keeps worming his way around their soft barrier and just kind of...rubbing his hand along him? Open palm up the curve of his side, across the planes of his chest, into the star-shape at his solar plexus, down the plates of his abdomen, back to his side again. Fingertips tap soundlessly against metal, or press into dents and divots, or smooth over old scars in the steel.
"Ya don't hav'ta do that, ya know."
"Does it bother you?"
Dan Heng's hand has already stopped, settling somewhere on the futon, neutral ground. Boothill clarifies that no, it doesn't bother him. But he can't feel any of it. He only knows he's doing it because he can see the motion out of the corner of his eye. Dan Heng doesn't need to go through the extra effort to do things for him like he would someone with a normal human body.
And Dan Heng goes quiet, just long enough that Boothill gets curious and turns to look at him over his shoulder. He has the cute little furrow between his brows, like when he's thinking.
And then he opens that pretty mouth of his and says, "That's alright, I think I'm doing it for myself, anyway" and Boothill nearly wheezes because wow, Dan Heng is almost never quite that honest when it comes to himself fdklsajlkd
Boothill cackles in surprise and asks point blank what he means, because what could he be getting out of that? Given the implied permission, Dan Heng's hand starts it's usual route again. Side, chest, solar plexus, abdomen, side. Boothill can practically hear him chewing on his words.
"I like that you're warm," is what he finally says, and Boothill suddenly feels like a bullet has just grazed something vital. "All the processes you run increase your temperature," Dan Heng's hand fans out across a span of steel and he holds it there, like he's soaking up the heat. "And your metal is smooth, it feels pleasant to touch," his fingertips move in circles, slip into a divot perfectly sized, rub back and forth. Boothill silently wills one of his cooling fans threatening to open up to stay closed.
"I like how you feel under my hands. That's all." Headshot! No recovery possible.
"...Suit yerself, then," and Boothill quickly turns back over before Dan Heng can see it in his face, how close he just hit to his heart.
#honkai star rail#henghill#bootheng#hsr dan heng#hsr boothill#pardon me I read a really really good porno this morning and was feeling inspired fjdklasjfkld#Look soft fuzzy super plush things are my faves- but nice smooth metal is so so nice too.#you know those fidget toys that are silky smooth material and they just have like a perfect little divot to rub the pad of your thumb into?#that's the kind of thing I'm getting at.#plus. plus!!#Dan Heng seems to dislike the cold. And we see why in 2.4 when he comments that the Shackling Prison is as cold as he remembers it.#And Dan Heng sleeps in the archive for a reason. he likes the sense of security in there.#it's a huge deal for him after being so violently hunted for so long#and I love the thought that Boothill reminds him of that. He's warm and he whirs and he's made of metal like some of the machinery in there#Dan Heng likes that regardless of whether he realizes why or not.#he likes to touch him. he just likes how he feels <3#and I think that would be something important to Boothill too because like. I don't think he HATES his body or anything.#but he didn't exactly get it under happy circumstances. and he does consider his human body as a toll that had to be paid.#he refers to any malfunctions as frightening to other people in one of his parlor car lines.#he refers to himself as a man already dead.#So I think it would hit a little harder than Boothill's prepared for to hear Dan Heng not only doesn't mind but even likes his body as it i#they're so sweet I love them so much uweh#hsr#dan heng#boothill#my fics
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would i be considered a lunatic if i said that horror's story could be read as a parallel for SA. Hear Me Out: (obviously be careful for reading this bc like,,, sensitive topic)
i feel like the largest parallel could be the actual event of getting his eye taken. a part of his body is "taken" and literally or metaphorically horror was pinned down and forced to give up his body (even worse considering that a literal part of him was PULLED out with a foreign object designed solely to hurt HIM SPECIFICALLY). it's digusting and horror claws and fights his way out to prevent it but unfortunately it still ends up happening no matter what he could've done. no matter how many backup plans or extra contibutions or begging or fighting he did. which like. sounds honestly pretty simple to the reality of victims of SA. that hopelessness of knowing that even if you did as much as you could, covering up, devoting yourself to a life of chastity, not hanging with people like thay, there's still a chance that something bad could happen and all of a sudden everyone's out to get you and how could they just stand by and do NOTHING while you were left to suffer and defend yourself
which leads onto the next point i wanna bring up which is horror's rage immediately after getting his eye stolen. his anger at the betrayal is (very justified my boy did nothing to deserve this) solely about him and his bodily autonomy. undyne (and alphys ig,,,,) couldn't consider ANY other possible solution than to deprive him of his autonomy and decide to just take what they wanted from his body??? AND THE FACT THAT ALPHYS SAID THAT HE MIGHT AGREE TO GIVING UP HIS EYE? it's giving very much so "oh it'll feel good so don't worry" type shit or whatever (horrortale alphys i DONT like you). a betrayal at the hands of someone you trusted a lot about your bodily autonomy? it just gives off that sort of parallel
and the sheer anger and fury that horror felt and enacted on alphys and undyne and everyone else at the CORE just like DUDE. that is a type of anger that only comes out when you've been deeply wronged. sometimes when a horrific experience like getting SAed happens you just wanna explode and drag down everyone around you and ESPECIALLY the perpetrators no matter how much you rationalize. you can have as many people as you want try to convince you that revenge and being hateful isnt the way but it doesn't matter because they havent been wronged the way youve been. horror deserved to be that cruel because undyne and alphys were just as cruel back to him, so he'll be the same and return it 10fold (he probably wasnt even out of bones when he decided to turn them into chips he just wanted to make it a point that he didn't even need to use his full strength to hurt the guards. horror could've EASILY killed alphys but no he wanted it to hurt for her so she could live a life of eternal suffering and fall to her lowest and to ESPECIALLY hurt undyne. because they deserve to suffer just as much as he did if not more for the crime commited against him)
a betrayal as bad as alphys's is only worsened when she tells him that she doesnt regret a single thing about using him for the underground. that has to be the single most infuriating thing for horror to hear because WHAT DO YOU MEAN alphys doesn't regret a thing? that's exactly what some people gloat about after doing terrible things; they try to sweep it under the rug as nothing that bad or justify it OR JUST STRAIGHT UP ADMIT IT!!! nah horrortale alphys deserved to suffer idc
and back onto that feeling of wanting to kick and scream and drag everyone else down with you after being left so used and betrayed due to getting SAed: i know it was bad that horror tricked snowdin into eating humans it was TERRIBLY BAD but really horror was just operating on anger and spite and the need for vengeance. nobody in snowdin ever did anything to hurt him (and i'm sure horror knows that considering he definitely regrets what he did) but to him maybe they also should feel the pain he feels so they can all relate. so that they can't try and fight against him when he says his side of the story and say that undyne was right with what she did. that maybe he wouldn't feel so absolutely devastated after what happened if he saw everyone around him suffering too, and maybe JUST MAYBE he'd get a bit of something back from his sacrifice that he never consented to
i KNOW i'm not reaching with this but idk if i phrased it the best. but to me horror's story really does genuinely parallel to one of an SA survivor's: the betrayal, the anger, the feeling of loneliness and isolation and just feeling absolutely used for a simple thing as your body. chapter 4 of horrortale really is amazing storytelling and so is horror (he was reasonable in what he did IDC WHAT ANYONE SAYS he might be WRONG but it was reasonable. i love horror sans)
#i'm sorry if this is like kinda not srs enough for this topic just know that this came from a place of genuine relation to horror#his story resonates a lot to me about my own personal experiences and the anger and betrayal i felt myself#and i just wanted to point out the similarities i saw 🙁#i think that maybe even without realizing it that he might feel replused at sex and especially the intimacy part#touching his eye socket or head wound is like reliving the entire situation over again and he does NOT WANT THAT AT ALL#its a part of his body that he cant just get rid of because it's necessary which SUCKS#the snarkiness that horror has against undyne even after 7 years is so real#you NEVER forgive your abuser in that situation. i know damn well that the grudge will continue to last on for many more years to come#one day horror and undyne might be able to make up and coexist but horror wont ever be able to TRULY forgive her#a part of you changes viscerally for the worse when you go through something so traumatic#and i think horror's outburst fits that change a lot. it seems almost sudden how quickly he goes from sans to horror#and even though he was still spiralling before the CORE he probably wouldn't have changed so drastically without a betrayal THIS bad#he better get the BEST potential ending in horrortale or else i will RIOT#if aliza doesnt save horrortale and give them all the freedom they DESPERATELY NEED#SAS pls SAS pls don't doom them even more than they already are thats all i need#this metaphor is made even worse with my idea that killer or dust pull him around by the eye or skull#probably not dust (when he's calm (when he's not all boundaries get thrown out the window)#but with killer probably. he doesn't particularly care about what horror wants or keeps to himself#if it gets a barely amusing reaction then sure whatever. horror gets unreasonably pissed anyway for someone who just got his eye taken#in fights they could make it a point to hold onto his skull near the eyewound as tightly as possible#just to make it HURT. dust wants horror to remember him with as much hate as he does for undyne#killer does it to get him to remember that moment except this time no he can't fight back. just to keep him in line#it sucks i know but this trio was never truly made to improve eachother. they were made to drag eachother down worse than they already are#tricule analyze#killer sans#horror sans#dust sans#murder time trio#utmv
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fellas we're once again wrestling with imperfect vs. perfect contrition and why imperfect contrition with a firm resolution to not sin again and promptly receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation doesn't save
#I get that it doesn't but !!!! I don't like it and I think its bad and I'm mad at God#it's definitely not because I only have imperfect contrition and get afraid to die#but like if its a gift from God#so much more of a gift perfect contrition is#but if cooperating with grace only results in imperfect contrition#why is it still damnable#his ways higher than my ways i know the line#this didnt save my other tags ahh!!!#but take this example from movie recently#man is a lapsed catholic#hes murdered people etc. very many grave sins#he has a terrifying near death experience and in the hospital asks to have a Priest come#because he wants to confess his sins#he ends up being denied one and murdered himself#to me (vibes) hes motivated by genuine belief and fear (imperfect) but hes also made#TANGIBLE STEPS to try and receive the Sacrament#he clearly wants to be reconciled and is trying#and the most we can hope for him is the same extraordinary salvation we hope a muslim has or an atheist?#intuitively that seems wrong idk#also moots i just realized this might be scandalous etc. I'm trying to religious submission of mind and will#pls tell me if i ought to delete and i will#also tbf on some level I would get the extraordinary salvation is all we can hope for bc of the efficacy of the Sacraments#EXCEPT for baptism by desire#and specifically the fact that motivation to be baptized does not come into consideration#you die before you can be baptized when you've expressed a desire and are trying to be baptized?#saved. no questions asked.#thats what makes this tough for me
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help i’ve fallen for another ship comprised of two insane autistic queers that want each other dead despite also being willing to do literally anything for the other even at risk to themselves
#nygmobblepot#i literally never gave a shit about the penguin and the riddler#but the moment my brother makes me watch a show where they are portrayed by theatre nerds who care about the characters#i become obsessed instantly#i would watch the show out of the corner of my eye while my brother and dad were watching it and see oswald and id just think#that little weirdo is the only thing that makes me like this show its so fun when hes on screen#then ed starts showing up more and i start to love his autistic ramblings and general energy#then ed kills a guy and i think fuck i love this show so much#then i see them interact and find out that they are semi canon???#like oswald is canonically in love with ed but the show seems to want you to think that ed just doesn’t reciprocate#but he obviously does and just doesn’t realize at the beginning because he thinks hes straight#but by the end that man is NOT hiding how much he loves oswald#like what the fuck was that hallucination scene if not his concince trying to make him realize how much he loves oswald#and there scene in the last episode in the car???#like that man has finally accepted that hes in love and is finally ready to act on it#anyways rant over they are just like hannigram and danbert and i will never change my mind#also their actors fucking killed in their rolls i love them#and fun fact: edward was cory michal smith’s first role outside of theatre and it fucking shows in the best ways#him being a mostly theatre person just adds so much to edward and makes him just so enjoyable to watch#now the rant is actually over#gotham#gotham tv
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i realize this is something of an obvious sentiment to express in a certain light but the more times one rewatches the show the more it becomes glaringly clear that there are very few individuals who actually ever express a philosophical commitment to flint's war to overthrow england. charles does. billy does, although he has his own motivations as well. madi does. jack and anne don't though! not ever! blackbeard doesn't! max, certainly not. and silver? even before he decides to betray flint he never ever says anything even a little bit committed to any sort of animosity towards england. you hit that 3x10 battle and you realize just how few people are actually in it for the same reasons as flint. and you realize that just like flint, just like the crew, just like madi, john silver has also fooled YOU into believing that everyone is on the same page.
#black sails#you just sort of assume! you just sort of go along because everything seems to finally be going the way you want it to#3x10 in a certain light is the narrative high point of the show! but only if you ignore the numerous enormous cracks in unity#john silver stands with flint. john silver is worried! he doesn't want to hurt his partner! john silver wouldn't betray for money anymore!#and yet we still don't know what john silver really feels about any of this. in fact#even at the end#we NEVER know.#i think its also quite powerful that JACK does not actually care about overthrowing england in the same way as flint either#jack tells flint at the beginning that he plans to leave with his treasure at the end#it makes his actions in s4 that much more delicious#and as max says at the very beginning: you realize that the foundations of this revolution are built on sand
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That fic from Akutagawa's pov that remarked how although Dazai had left a bomb under Chuuya's car, at least that showed he had thought about him before going, while he never cared enough to spare a thought for Akutagawa.
#I think about it a lot... Something something the opposite of love isn't hatred but indifference#I can imagine Akutagawa and Chuuya fighting over Dazai when he left#“AT LEAST HE THOUGHT ABOUT YOU!” “HIS THINKING ABOUT ME WAS A FUCKING ATTEMPT TO MURDER ME AKUTAGAWA!”#...#It was supposed to be funny it shouldn't hurt me as much as it does.........#Trust me chuu/aku angst actually hits the hardest and you will never see it coming.#Because it’s not the kind of angst of “oh no my boyfriend has been beheaded by this magic sword that cuts through space and time ://”.#Chuu/aku angst hits right close to home when you least expect it and it’s so real in its inherent humanity it leaves you defenseless#ryūnosuke akutagawa#osamu dazai#chūya nakahara#bsd#bungou stray dogs#mine#q.#23/11/22#I'm sorry I don't remember the fic of course I'll add the link if I find it again#It's just that sometimes you will read something in a fic and go “oh my God” and it feels like you've been run over by a bus#And other times you read a fic and it seems like nothing happened–#and then two years after you realize you're still thinking about that tidbit of lore and you'll be like “oh... oh.”#Like fics that rewrite your entire belief system without you even noticing for real
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In my mind, the narrator is such a clingy creature by nature. like, as a semi ever-present voice, he is just always up in everything all the time and I think that would translate equally so into any sort of physical form. it’s not for any specific reasoning, I just think he wouldn’t get it or even attempt to try to see where you’re coming from if you tried to explain the concept of personal space. he’d say something like “Well what’s the point of that? Have you perhaps forgotten what my main purpose is? it’s literally my title, I—you know what no. You’re trying to egg me on with these completely refutable concepts.” and then he’d scoff and cling even closer. like this is just normal for him, it’s just almost unnatural feeling because he’s got a physical presence to show it.
#crow thoughts#sorry I was just thinking about how often I draw him clinging to stanley#and I realize it’s because he kinda is just. clingy. at least that’s how he seems to me lol#idk maybe I’m the only one that gets those vibes#I think he does enjoy his own space btw I just think when he’s around stanley he’s clingy as hell#I think it would also have to do with how he thinks he has control over everything#and I think personal space is inclusive to this. unintentional closeness that he doesn’t even take into consideration#LOL I think I could write his dialogue bit better I’m so rusty 😭#need to get back into narrator dialogue writing asap
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Life got more interesting when I learned that everything is an argument, everything is political, and everything is deeper than it seems. Everything is the product of something, and it's up to us to figure out what that "something" is. We are interesting as fuck! We are deeper than you think!
It might seem really tedious, but recognizing this has made me so much less incurious. I now want to learn about us as people. Everything is deeper than it seems.
#positivity#i see this as a positive#i was talking about modern art with my dad and i was realizing that we're pretty different in terms of philosophy...#...because i got excited thinking about the politics of art - he was baffled at what's considered 'art' and!!!#that's a deep conversation! modern art is so much deeper than 'lul this guy thinks a red canvas is art'#and people's REACTIONS about what is considered art is just as political as what we *call* art!#and he seemed baffled that i called it political but i don't think art exists in a vacuum - nothing truly does#once i realized everything is an argument i started actually paying more attention to other people#i know this line of thinking is easily overwhelming to others but i found that it was so helpful to me#because now there's yet *another* PURPOSE to actually pay close attention to every little thing#and that's something that's helped save me#you know maybe this is what they mean when they say autistics like to break things apart...?#i'm just putting this out there so maybe somebody can be like 'this is what i want to do too!“
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Everyone arguing about Stannis, JonCon, Jaime, god forbid Jorah being the 1000th commander of the NW….when it will be Jon again 🌚
#btw this is not stannerism like i do have legitimate reasons why i think it will be jon at the end#i think an interesting part of jon’s politiking as LC is him realizing how deep the rot is in the watch#he spends an entire book - agot - realizing that he institution he spent his childhood idolizing is not so glorious#he spends the next book directly confronting the issues that come with being a good man ( helping gilly#and being a true man to the watch and starting to notice the cracks in the system#and then asos is like the turning point you know?#adwd is him trying to fix the watch from within but failing imo because as i said the rot is far deeper#it doesnt matter how many people you replace the watch needs an overhaul - a complete uprooting to the core#which is why i dont like theories of him being a passive bystander as the watch crumbles#its just too narratively juicy if he takes a part in the destruction of the watch coz yknow some things need to be cleansed w/ fire n blood#a nice lil parallel to dany and what shell be doing in the east throughout winds#i like him as the 1000th lc because its a nice round number and thats a bit silly but its also signifying a renewal#Its a blank slate which is essential to jon because he does have a vision for the watch and the wildings!#and he can start from the ground up - and like one of the most underrated themes in jon’s arc is nation building#ive said before that i think the show kinda got it right….like we’ll see a weird mesh of lc of the nw and kbtw as jon’s endgame#I wont get into that now….but i know a lot of jon stans dont want him back at the wall because it seems needlessly cyclical and i get it#and i get that the watch isnt the most glorious place to be…but i really do think its meant to be a vehicle to explore themes of rebirth#and renewal which appear in jon’s arc -think of jon’s messianic framing and the watch being his “new earth” after all is said and done#not so much a place of punishment but a place to find new meaning and exist beyond many societal frameworks#for the cripples bastards and broken things….anywayyyyy lmaoo#asoiaf#jon snow
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Also just because you get annoyed by something someone is doing doesn't mean they are evil you can leave us alone
#this is about autistic people.#that guy in you class that is always asking questions? he always raises his hand theres nothing wrong with it#it takes time in the class but that's how he makes sure he understands the subject#and meanwhile every other student decides hes an asshole#that girl who doesnt blink and who cant seem to have a linear conversation is not doing anything wrong#you dont like interacting with her but that doesnt say anything about her you can leave her alone you dont have to bitch behind her back#that person cant read social cues? why are you getting mad? can you shut the fuck up?#it is insane how often some of my friends talk about people who are clearly autistic and are mad at them#no its not because theyre autistic theyre just always interupting!#its not because theyre autistic they just make me uncomfortable! PLEASE LISTEN TO YOURSELF#i swear youre all asshole to us#no respect fr#its so annoying to see you run in a circle trying to justify calling someone an ass for doing literally nothing wrong#youre allowed to feel how you want about other people but you always jump to bullying#and whenever i try to make them realize they get so deffensive#just because you grew up with an autistic brother does not make you a fucking expert youre not even close to him!!#ok sorry im gonna go hit my bong im getting too angry lol
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