#Because Summer Will End Soon

[strwbrryfire]

now i'm the one going ahead

from little women (1994)

[pmpwbrrs]

Got in the mood. They're going to be on sale! If you don't want to miss out on them, please let me know and I'll notify you.

[minivirgo]

oh just some of the things i made with my hands over the summer...

[123pixieaod]

Inspired by this godly post which unlocked a part of my brain I didn't know existed, and solidly gave me complete and utterly brainrot until I wrote something

A thousand thanks to Lily for her wonderful help :))

"Does Kelly not mind you spending all your time with me?" Daniel asks, because she's Daniel and once she's thought something she can't keep her fucking mouth shut, even if she knows it's trouble.

Max looks up, pausing his set of weights, and blinks at her. Daniel feels her cheeks warm. One day, that mouth of yours will run you straight into trouble, young lady, her mum used to tell her, voice firm. Good girls know when to keep quiet. Daniel used to just laugh at the warning. Her laugh is loud and the opposite of quiet, but she used to know that everyone always loved her laugh.

"No," Max says after a beat and then continues lifting. Daniel hates the way her gaze tracks over him, lingering on the movement of his muscles, the ease with which he lifts the weight. Tawny hair brushed out of his eyes, cheeks dusted warm from the exertion. "Of course not."

"Why of course not?" Daniel asks. She wants to sew her mouth shut. This time, Max didn't look over as he answers.

"Kelly's very secure, she's not like other girls. And besides, she knows you."

It's strange. When Daniel was seven and Michelle eleven, they'd gone rock pool fishing. Michelle had been crouched over a shallow pool of water, her finger delicately brushing the tentacles of the anemone. Daniel had been scaling the rocks, wanting steeper, taller, more.

She'd found the shark first, nestled high at between the rocks, and for a beat she hadn't known what she was looking at. Just details, but nothing collective. Rotting smell. Shrivelled holes where eyes should be. Scales of silver lightning. Rubbery fish picked clean. The flash of bone, pearl white.

Then she realised what she was staring at, and screamed. Her father held her while her mother scolded her. I told you not to go climbing! It's too dangerous, Daniel. Why can't you just be good like your sister and stay by the shallow pools?

And then, later, ice cream. Her dad, beside her, explaining the horror away.

It's just nature, Dani. The waves wash them up, and they get stuck there. They can't get back to the sea, and then the sun dries them out.

They drown on air, Michelle helpfully pointed out, her feet kicking happily as she licked her 99. Daniel just just nodded, ice cream untouched. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw the sunken holes, the rotting flesh.

She hasn't thought about that moment for years, but suddenly it washes back over her. She feels simultaneously both. The child, staring at the carcass, frozen in shock. The shark, burning up in the sun, chocking on air.

"What does that mean?" She asks, and somehow her voice is normal, is fine. She's fine. She's not a girl or a shark. She's stupid and a fool and a gawky, ugly idiot, but she's fine.

Max manages to shrug, even with the 50kg weights. "You know. Just that Kelly knows you. She knows what you're like. And she knows me too, of course."

Daniel swallows. She nods. She hates everything about herself.

"That's sexist," she forces herself to say lightly because if the silence stretches anymore, Max might notice and set his weights down and look at her, and Daniel can't bear that. She doesn't want his eyes on her, taking in every blemish and imperfection. The boyish, ratty clothes she works out in and her curls gone frizzy with sweat and her inked skin, so different to Max and Kelly's pale, perfect complexions.

"What's sexist?"

"Saying she's not like other girls," Daniel tells him, setting down the weights she been doing. Instead, she goes to grab the skipping rope, just for something to do.

Max laughs. Daniel's glad she's turned away. Her cheeks are burning again.

"It's the truth. You, of course, Daniel, are not like other girls either." He says it lightly and ends with a chuckle, as if it's all just a joke. Daniel drags a sweaty hand over her cheeks. Burning, burning, burning.

Apparently, in Max's mind, she and Kelly are the same; both not like other girls. Kelly, with her faultless makeup and wonderful daughter and classy dresses and perfect feminity. One end of the scale. Daniel, the other. Barely even considered "a girl." Always one of the boys, only woman in f1 for a reason.

"Thanks," Daniel says. She wants to make it sound humorous, like she's in on the joke too. Instead, it's too cold; muttered as if she actually gave two shits about the conversation anyway. She has an F1 season to prepare for, she's too busy to care about stupid shit like this.

There's a beat of silence as Daniel stretches out the rope, feeling the plastic flex and give. Then, Max exhaling, the gentle bump of his weights against the floor, the workout bench shifting as his centre of gravity changes. Daniel keeps her back to him, ignoring it all.

"I did not mean it as insult," Max finally says, stubborn. Daniel forces a laugh, turning to give him a smile, all teeth.

"Of course not Maxy. I get that." Voice light and blithe. One of the boys.

She thinks he'll drop it, but instead, his frown only grows. Pinched brows, thin lips, cheeks growing blotchy. Blue eyes regard her, intense and unyielding. She burns from the inside out.

"I've upset you," he says, in that blunt, genuine way only he can do. Daniel barks out another laugh.

"Don't be stupid. You're not important enough to ever be able to get under my skin." She gives him another smile with only teeth. She feels insane. Her mother tells her good girls stay quiet.

"I'm sorry," he tries again, growing frustrated now, "I did not mean -"

"I told you, you didn't upset me," she drops the skipping rope without actually using it. "Anyway, I'm bored. Wanna get lunch now? Or are you still trying to pump those muscle with more testosterone?"

Max gives her one last, searching look before standing. They're almost the same height. She wants to shrink to nothing.

"That is not how testosterone works, Daniel," he says with the air of an overworked teacher. He looks at her with a smile, uncertain but genuine. She laughs, allowing him to move the conversation on.

She walks out of the gym first but holds the door for him. He grins, relieved. His fingers skim hers as he takes it and she lets go. A chill runs through her. Cold like scales, cold like ice cream untouched.

Follow up here!

[theflyingfeeling]

...😭

[corpsentry]

i may not. but i write poem still

[sportsthoughts]

I feel like it should be illegal to be sick the week before Christmas

[thebirdandhersong]

hey will be off tumblr for the rest of the week - things are Happening again and my head feels ready to explode.........would really appreciate prayer again. I'm constantly feeling like I'm on the brink of something (I don't KNOW what) terrible and I need to figure things out without before my body really DOES decide to shut down from the stress and the strange depressive dread that has been very difficult to shake this month. I would like to not feel like crying or throwing up at certain points in the day and also would like to not be so exhausted in the heart and mind area so that I can actually deal with these things. Especially since finals are looming ahead

[twilightichor]

Good evening! Recently I didn't have much content to tackle, so that's my clue to get to the inbox thingies I have and a recent draft soon. Since this happened yesterday, a tiny reminder that my Genshin talks will be moved over to @reginrokkr as well as any IC interactions pertaining Dain. If you're interested and we're mutuals here, know that I'm already following you as it's a sideblog ♥︎

[edge-oftheworld]

help i'm listening to an orchestral arrangement of holiday by green day and i can't deal with it

[bugbxyjunk]

the only thing that keeps me going in the school year is academic validation

[kerosene-saint]

so many things happening in my life in the next couple months and it feels like my life is turning around compared to how I felt this time last year which was complete and utter dread and burn out in every sense of the word

[milkymittens]

it’s been a day

[fiapple]

other early buffy bi-coding includes: both her heart & spirit being initially coded as gay/bisexual (the writers weren’t sure which till tara came into the picture, & according to a semi-recent article, of which label pretty much until willow came out) & were intended as such, as the writers always knew one of them was going to come out.

[artemismatchalatte]

Rules: Tag 10 people you want to get to know better

Tagged by @burningvelvet. Thank you for inviting me to the tag game! :)

Relationship Status: Currently single and I'm working on trying to build up my life so I can date.

Favorite Color: To wear is red though I also really like purple. I have more purple accessories but I wear most colors. I have many colorful outfits.

Song Stuck In My Head: Love by Lana Del Rey but there are others that can play on command in my head if I hear the title/the band.

ABBA, Meg & Dia, Emilie Autumn, Flyleaf, Avril Lavigne and Skillet are some artists that I have looping in my head often.

Last Song I Listened To: Cheater, Cheater by Joey and Rory (my spotify was on shuffle)

I like country probably more than people would expect but I am more of a pop/dance queen though. I have made Eurovision playlists in the past.

Three Favorite Foods: Pears, Potatoes (in many forms), and Greek salads or wraps. But I love most food in general. I'm not a super picky eater. I like to cook and make baked goods. I spend a lot of time in the kitchen.

Last Thing(s) I Googled: Pharmacy hours because I had to pick up more medication.

I also looked up an actor's age because my sister and I were trying to figure out how old he was (she was right or close- I thought he was younger- he's on one of my mom's shows). I'm usually the go to googler for my family, especially when they ask about actors or actresses in movies and tv shows we watch.

Links to my college's website, goodreads, storygraph, youtube and list challenges. I'm making more reading lists on list challenges (again).

Sorry it's nothing too interesting lately. My YouTube searches are probably more interesting but only marginally so. I'm not at school or working on any research projects currently so my searches are very basic right now.

Dream Trip: Japan. I'd like to go with close friends and/or family members though since it would be a big deal to go that far. I've been following a japan travel vlog by a woman who lives there. She shows all kinds of cafes and other fun places to go. You can watch/follow her vlog here: https://www.youtube.com/@its_time_to_travel

I'd love to be able to go to some of the places she's featured on her blog. It would be the trip of a lifetime! I'd be sure to try to learn some Japanese first too since I'm visiting their country and that seems polite to do. I know a few random words but can't read or write anything or even hold a conversation.

If I can't go to Japan, I'd love to go back to either Germany or England, but to the parts I didn't visit since there are tons of places in both those countries I've never been too. I really want to go to Haworth (The Bronte Sister's hometown), since I'm a Bronte fan and I've focused some of my grad studies on their works.

This is a tag post so I'm tagging:

@paperbackpropensity, @thatwritererinoriordan, @oh2e, @yeahwellshithappens, @autumnbell32, @writingf3, @windermerepoets13, @melusinah, @girlonedge and whoever else wants to do this! :)

[jorvikzelda]

Suddenly got my hands on a lot more money than I was prepared for (even though it should have been accounted for in my detailed financies spreadsheet because it wasn’t actually unplanned) and now I am DANGEROUSLY close to some VERY irresponsible financial decisions