#Bearfriends Band
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nisiverum · 5 years ago
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Bearfriends (RIP) Dream a Little Dream Cover
Once upon a time, I had a sweet little band with someone I thought I’d spend my whole life with. It was what it was, and this is what it is; still, I’m proud of the art I and we all made together. Like the other Bearfriends vids, I’m hoping to one day look back at all of these and smile. I took one for the team on this one for sure, I was really sick when we filmed this, having a rough time with the meds I was on, nobody told me there was a dress code (luckily sweet little Hannah brought another dress), and I picked the take where the collective sounded the best, even if I sounded better on other takes… It’s been nice watching Hannah and Nick continue to create and grow; it’s still anxiety-inducing anytime my ex makes any sort of appearance, anywhere, including every nightmare, but I’m here waiting patiently for a day when he makes me feel nothing at all. Patience, they say, “time heals all wounds”—— xo, V
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nisiverum · 5 years ago
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Yosemite to San Francisco Birthday Road Trip 2018
Hi friends, hi future self when I maybe look back on my blogs someday,
Literally finished the adventure vid last night and uploaded today. Honestly, writing the caption for the vid sapped all of my emotional energy, so feel free to read that for all the other feels.
In a perfect world, this blog post would have been finished 6-8 months ago and all would have been well and beautiful. Today would have been just another day like it is now, but in a different format. But sometimes the people you love and trust most on the earth will decide you’re not worth anything to keep in their lives and will just walk away out of the blue. And it’s not fine, but it’s life as a human on this planet for so many people. For some, you’ll never speak again for the remainder of your decades here. For others, maybe fate will realign you. Whatever your path, I hope all involved learn and grow and eventually find whatever (or whoever) they are looking for.
I first prepped this blog (blog prep comes in many waves since I’m so busy LOL) by uploading all the pics a few months shy of a year ago. I remember working on it sitting in bed with my ex while he watched shows. Simple, beautiful, cozy, perfect, reality. I couldn’t have asked for anything more - to me, that balance of energetic adventure and those slow moments at home were everything; they recharged me. Fast forward a few weeks, and I started what was without a doubt the hardest journey I’ve ever faced. I’m still navigating to this day, almost a year out from that disaster.
I’m well worn out of words at the moment. I’ve spent the dimension of 30 cosmoses trapped in my own head and cried my body weight in tears probably ten times over now over the past 12 months. I will leave this video and the photos in their original posted format (aka, inclusive of my ex) as just a small monument to what was and what could have been. What has been, and what will never be.
And never one to leave myself on a totally low note, at least I can joke (though it’s not totes a joke, it’s the damn truth) that whoever I let into my heart in the future will have some badass MF portraits and adventure vids wherever life will lead us.
Take care of yourselves, your health, and your hearts. I love you, and I’m here for you if you ever need someone to lean on. I am an otherworldly amount of thankful for those of you who provided the same for me in any and all capacities when I was at my lowest.
-A
Y O S E M I T E
S A N F R A N C I S C O
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nisiverum · 5 years ago
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Bearfriends Promo Shoot || August 2018
This was the only song we ever got finaled and posted to Spotify. Matthew said it was written about me, and he showed it to me just before he left for Australia for a few months. In total, we made about 5 or 6 finished songs and had about 5 more in the oven from the past 6-ish years of our relationship, but I guess those will melt into the ether along with everything we ever built. shrugs
It was all fun while it lasted. I’m looking forward to working with new people and forming new musical connections soon—getting that ball rolling this summer! :)
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nisiverum · 6 years ago
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Say whaaaaa! 😱 bearfriends is back in the studio! Who’s excited for some new music? 🤪💕 • • Any Lost fans out there? 😊 When you and the bf @matthewkijak have a band and DIY your own inspired promo pics hehe • • #bandpromo #band #bearfriends #planecrash #whimsical #ilovegold #tribe #windowseat #airplane #window #tropical #forest #curious #portraitphotography #creative #portraits #band #selfie #selfportrait (at Outer Space) https://www.instagram.com/p/BsuNL6XhlgC/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=vebgktmoyio8
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nisiverum · 6 years ago
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Any Lost fans out there? 😊 • When you and the bf @matthewkijak have a band and DIY your own inspired promo pics hehe • • #bandpromo #band #bearfriends #planecrash #whimsical #ilovegold #tribe #windowseat #airplane #window #tropical #forest #curious #portraitphotography #creative #portraits #band https://www.instagram.com/p/BnC8pVigWrc/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=126bipc9j7l0
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nisiverum · 5 years ago
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Feral heart. Ex playlist song for this feelz: His Hands Matched His Tongue - The Dear Hunter “belated conversation, saturated anticipation, for the answers that simply won’t come... oh, some day she’ll be gone!” • • Once upon a time we had a lovely band but it wasn’t enough. RIP Bearfriends 💔 #bearfriends #planecrash #ilovegold #tribe #windowseat #window #curious #portraitphotography #creative #portraits #selfie #selfportrait #itme #badassbabes #lookslikefilm #gameoftones #agameoftones #losangelesphotographer #orangecountyphotographer #editorial #wanderingphotographers #radstorytellers #nikon #nikond810 #moodygrams #pursuitofportraits #portraitgames #adventurousstorytellers #portraitmode (at Elevation 4000 Feet In The Middle Of Nowhere) https://www.instagram.com/p/BzwskrOBRwo/?igshid=3r0jlc6onwgh
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nisiverum · 5 years ago
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Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and life to everything. —Plato With that said, breakup playlist song of the moment: Lotus Blossom by Bearfriends. Yes, I put our own band’s song on the playlist. I had to, it just reeks of lies, sadly. This one was written by him, allegedly for/about me. We sang it live at an open mic together. To write this song for someone, to tell them you’re obsessed with them, covered in wedding cake cas they get all the dumb jokes you try to make, and it’s not hard to be in love with them... and then to turn around a few months later and dump them when you’ve been leading them on for months/years even? Sad. • • #daisies in #sanjose #downtownsanjose #lookslikefilm #wanderlust #california #superbloom #spring #springtime #gameoftones #agameoftones #shotoniphone #vsco #vscoedit #dreamy #moody #moodygrams #radstorytellers #adventurousstorytellers #storyteller #flowers #floral #90s #90saesthetic #pink #brokenheartquotes #heartbroken #heartbreakquotes #selfcare #musicheals (at Downtown San Jose) https://www.instagram.com/vaughntastic/p/By1Q0I1BP_T/?igshid=hjyequ8morwc
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nisiverum · 6 years ago
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Just some feels, whatev 🤷🏼‍♀️ // I’ve gone feral. My heart is returning to the dark wild recluse. Lost and wandering, wondering and smothering. Searching for the light of another, digging frantically for my own, strung along like a kite in a storm. // • • Once upon a time we had a lovely band but it wasn’t enough. RIP Bearfriends 💔 #bearfriends #planecrash #ilovegold #tribe #windowseat #window #curious #portraitphotography #creative #portraits #selfie #selfportrait #itme #badassbabes #lookslikefilm #gameoftones #agameoftones #losangelesphotographer #orangecountyphotographer #editorial #wanderingphotographers #radstorytellers #nikon #nikond810 #moodygrams #pursuitofportraits #portraitgames #adventurousstorytellers #portraitmode (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/BwxNMtlBXdD/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=ggwic8omnfxe
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nisiverum · 6 years ago
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Come a little closer. • • Any Lost fans out there? 😊 When you and the bf @matthewkijak have a band and DIY your own inspired promo pics hehe • • #bandpromo #band #bearfriends #planecrash #whimsical #ilovegold #tribe #windowseat #airplane #window #tropical #forest #curious #portraitphotography #creative #portraits #band #selfie #selfportrait (at مثلث برمودا The Bermuda Triangle) https://www.instagram.com/p/BpclgM7gAi0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1am4w6mu1lfbb
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nisiverum · 5 years ago
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Bearfriends Yosemite to San Fran Road Trip (Pt. 2)
Hi all,
Just a quick part two to the last Yosemite to San Fran Birthday Roadtrip Post. These are two other vids we tackled under our Bearfriends band (may that sweet little band rest in peace). Two covers, lots of fun. I hope someday I’ll get to look back at these and smile. Until then, they can sit in the digital ether—
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nisiverum · 7 years ago
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Did you know Matt and I had a band back in the 70s called "Matt Crosby Stills Alexis Nash Oats Young Simon Bearfriends Bluejean Committee Stillwater and Garfunkel"? It's so true. #alternativefact 📷 @stephaniefishbeinphoto 😍 • • #cute #ew #boyfriend is a #model #mcdreamy @matthewkijak lol #pasadena #downtownpasadena #lifestyle #adorable #hipsters #photoshoot #lifestylephotographer #lifestylesession #lifestylephotography #rockandroll #leatherjacket #america #americanflag #jeanjacket #bluejeanbaby #longhair #longhairdontcare (at Pasadena, California)
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