#Bc mentally I fucking Drowned

[acesammy]

Honestly growing up is realizing that normal people don’t have to set timers to remember they’re cooking ramen… which notoriously only takes 3 minutes to cook… and maybe I do have adhd

[ghwosty]

me: maybe I'm faking being mentally ill :/

spotify wrapped:

"28% of your listening time was spent listening to one (1) band"

[29121996]

.

[p0rnd3aler]

LOVE AND DEEPSPACE NSFW THINK PIECE/DRABBLE

I’m depraved

Rafayel is the neediest. He’s got a lot of insecurities/abandonment issues from his first love and he def has an anxious attachment style. He’s also absolutely the type of person to be codependent (Hello?? “Join me let’s drown in the ocean together”????? Like, come on). He’s constantly trying to do every little thing with you, almost like he can’t breathe unless it’s air that’s already been filtered through your lungs.

However, all big baby behavior™️ considered, he definitely knows how to woo you. I feel like since he’s Lemurian and also an artist, he only knows how to love a person in the most deeply devoted and romantic way. He’s also very careful with his heart and who he gives it to, once he decides it’s truly and solely yours that’s it. There’s no one else. But you also have to honor that with proper care, he’s very sensitive.

Anyway, I feel like he fucks in a way that’s slow, very sensual. The kind of love making where he takes over all of your senses, all you can feel is his touch, all you can smell is his sweat and cologne, all you can taste is him on your tongue, and all you can see and hear are his face and the sweet words of devotion he whimpers in your ear.

He’s also very easy to rile up.

Zayne is boring to me. Like I get the appeal he’s very hot and he’s also very stable (in a romantic sense) and healthy but I just can’t fantasize about that. Like yeah he’s a busy ass surgeon who will always make time for you no matter what and he’s super devoted and always caring for you in little ways, but also mf will make you take a water break during sex if you’re too wet bc he doesn’t want you to get dehydrated. Im done.

Honestly I think I’m biased against him bc the way he talks to MC just reminds me of this horrid man I met at a bus stop once who immediately started trying to tell me what to do/give me life advice. I get Zayne is qualified and the guy at the bus stop was not but idc if y’all want me to put effort into writing for him ur gonna have to submit it into the requests baby, moving on.

SYLUS. I feel like everybody thinks he’s just some big ol’ nasty freak but they’re WRONG. THEYRE WRONG ABOUT HIM.

Don’t get me wrong he’s definitely fucking tweaking when you first meet him, like just going apeshit off the bat with no context for us. But also? Once you get to know him? Bitch I’ll kill for that man you do not know. This mf drops everything for you.

Important arms deal he’s been trying to set up for a year or going to the arcade with you to get plushies out of a claw machine? Deal = cancelled

The fearless leader of the N109 zone who blows up anyone who perturbs him slightly. MF contributes 50% of the carbon in the atmosphere alone with the amount of shit he literally actually blows up with bombs. But you? You may break into his house and handcuff him to his bed in his sleep while trying to steal a brooch off of him. he doesn’t give a fuck. he’s in love with you. Set his house on fire! He won’t care! He’ll just buy a new one!

As rough as he is around the edges he’s completely smitten. “You should know I adore you. There is no love purer than mine.” Like girl don’t fucking play with me. Is he mentally ill? Absolutely. But he is so devoted, so careful with you. “I’m never annoyed when we do things together.” It’s literally like he’s learning how to be a human being for once and he doesn’t care about losing the coldness or sharpness he once had because you’re more than enough to replace any absence the loss of those thing may bring. He knows he’s getting soft and doesn’t care. He doesn’t try to stop it. To kill for you is nothing to him. Not even a second thought. He kills all the time. But he would never harm again if the violence ever came in between you two.

And I think that dedication, that devotion totally translates itself into how he makes love to you. He’s definitely a filthy talker, I think he says some NASTY shit during sex, just because he likes seeing you squirm and feel how your skin gets hot from his words. But I don’t think he likes hurting you. He wouldn’t do anything to harm you. He’ll spank you yeah, and he’ll tap or squish your cheeks to get your attention. But he only wants to bring you pure, carnal pleasure when it comes to sex. If you even think “that feels good” he’s like a dog with a bone. You get no rest when he’s there you only get mind-numbing pleasure. He’s a tease, he’ll poke lighthearted fun at how loud you’re being, ask you who you think can hear you two while you’re being nasty. But he knows you. He knows what you love, what gets you off, and he cares to learn all of this because of how much he loves you God I’m SICK

Xavier is filthy. That man laps up your pussy like a thirsty dog. The freakiest nastiest mf out of all of them. He won’t show any sexual prowess or interest for months I think. I’m not sure he’s even aware of his powers. Your relationship will literally be based around his chaotic sleeping “schedule” (that shit is not a schedule) and relaxing between missions together. All things considered, you guys spend almost every waking (and sleeping) hour together. Work, dates, naps, eating, it’s almost always together.

It’s not until he hears you getting hit on all night that his composure finally starts to crack.

Three months of the sweetest, purest boyfriend you could ever ask for. Your sweet silly boy, who starts silently pouting all night. It’s not until you two finally find a hotel to stay at for the night, that he finally starts loosening up.

“I’m not a young fool, you know. I don’t take what’s in front of me for granted” he quotes the guys hitting on you earlier, which he heard through your ear piece. Then he recites every time another guy hit on you while you two were on your mission. He’s a jealous jealous jealous boy. He HATES other guys vying for your attention. It just makes him want to whisk you away and bounce you on his dick so loud that every other guy can hear it. When he feels jealousy, he feels the need to mark, claim, devour you so no one else can try and steal you. He gets himself worked up. Stewing and agonizing over the thought and the memory of another guy trying to get to you so much that he can’t even think of sleeping. He gets completely taken over by the urge to have your every reaction solely based on him and what he gives you. I think he fights off these feelings for a long time, up until the protocore mission in the misty invasion memory. He just barely keeps it together until you’re rubbing all over him, pulling him closer to whisper his name in his ear, he just can’t take it. He needs to hear you say it louder. He needs everyone to hear you say his name.

He fucks you so sloppy, the kind of man who does not care what means he has to use as long as the end is what he wants. He wants you covered in marks of his making, he wants you to smell like him, he wants you to have trouble walking the next day, and he wants that asshole who tried hitting on you at work to ask you “what’s wrong? You look like you’re having trouble walking”

And as soon as the guy asks that you look over to Xavier, who has the most pleased little shit eating grin on his face.

The craziest part is that after he gets it all out of his system he’s back to being the little innocent sweet boy. But you know his secret, and he likes that you know it.

[velarisdusk]

Lying Is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off

word count: 1.9k author's note: i had the idea for this one literally AS i was writing the last one im annoyed i didnt write it right after bc i know i had GREAT ideas that i literally cannot remember anymore sigh ✦ . AU Masterlist . ✦ ✦ . Masterlist . ✦

The venue hums with the kind of energy you’d expect for a band as big as Wings of Illyria, the low chatter and country rock playing in the background almost drowned out by the buzz around the meet-and-greet booth.

Cassian, the life of the party you always imagined him to be, is already surrounded by fans, effortlessly drawing people in with that easy grin of his. But security is quick to move in, ushering people away with practiced calm, the crowd reluctantly shifting to make room for the band’s massive presence.  Rhysand sits beside him, polished and smooth as ever, his gaze flicking between the crowd and the band’s merch, playing the role of the charming frontman like he was born for it. But Azriel—Azriel looks like he’d rather be anywhere else.

You spot him leaning back in his chair, a half-smirk barely visible beneath the dark fringe of his hair, eyes scanning the room with a look that says he’s mentally checked out. The cigarette tucked behind his ear, defying the “No Smoking” sign above the booth, is the least surprising thing about him.

You can’t help but notice how effortlessly Azriel leans into the atmosphere, the way his posture seems to say he’s both above it all and fully in control of the space around him. The black leather jacket slung over his chair, the way his fingers casually thrum against the table, it’s all effortlessly cool. But before you can linger on him too long, a voice cuts through the room, sharp and high-pitched enough to make your teeth ache. 

The girl in front of you is practically vibrating, her hands shaking as she clutches her phone to her chest like it’s a lifeline. “Oh my God, oh my God,” she whispers to her friend, barely able to hold it together. “What if I say something dumb? What if they laugh at me? What if Az doesn’t even look at me? I have to tell him how much I—”

It’s the way she says Az—not like she’s just a fan, but like she’s personally on a nickname basis with him—that makes your eye twitch. You don’t want to judge, but fuck, could people just enjoy things without this level of intensity? She’s decked out in enough Wings of Illyria merch to make you wonder if she owns anything that isn’t branded. Her denim jacket is practically a billboard for the band, from the patches to the pins to the shirts she’s stacked under it, all so bright and loud it’s almost cartoonish. She looks exactly like the kind of people you’ve seen mocked in those “fan stereotype” posts, and it grates on you more than it should.

You bite back a sigh, trying to ignore the discomfort gnawing at your nerves. It’s not her fault, right? People can like things however they want. But as you stand there, you can’t shake the tightness in your chest, the buzz of unease you’ve been carrying all day. You hadn’t gotten much sleep last night—too busy running through every possible scenario, obsessing over the idea that maybe, just maybe, you’d misinterpreted the song. What if it wasn’t about you at all? What if you’d been foolish to even think it was? You’d spent so much time convincing yourself this was the right thing to do, that you could handle whatever confrontation came with it. But now, with the weight of it all on your shoulders, doubts have started to creep in. 

To each their own, you remind yourself, trying to shake the jittery feeling in your stomach. 

The line inches forward, and you shuffle along with it, caught between your own nerves and the chaos around you. Every second stretches and the girl ahead of you is still whispering furiously to her friend about all the reasons this moment is life-changing for her. You try to tune it out, focusing instead on the distant hum of the music overhead, and the faint shuffle of feet, the air heavy with anticipation.

And then, it’s your turn. 

Cassian is the first to notice you, his smile broad and infectious, like he’s genuinely thrilled to meet every single person who steps up to the booth. “Hey!” he greets warmly, his voice loud enough to carry over the din. “You excited for the show?”

“Yeah, definitely,” you reply, shifting your weight awkwardly from one foot to the other. “I’ve been looking forward to it for weeks.”

Cassian beams like you’ve just made his night. ���That’s what I like to hear! First time seeing us live?”

You shake your head, a small smile tugging at your lips. “Second. Saw you guys in Orlando last year.”

“No shit?” he says, leaning forward slightly. “That was a great crowd. One of the best on that leg of the tour. You catch the whole set?

“Most of it,” you admit. “I got stuck in traffic and missed the first couple of songs.”

Rhysand, who’s been quietly observing, chuckles at that. “Typical,” he says, his voice smooth and amused. “Traffic in that city is practically a right of passage.”

“Right?” you say, laughing despite yourself. “I swear I left two hours early and still barely made it in time for ‘Bloodlines.’”

Cassian gives you a mock sympathetic look. “Tragic. That’s one of my favorites to play live.”

“It’s a good one,” you say, your nerves easing just a little. You glance between the two of them, noting how Rhys’s sharp gaze is fixed on you like he can tell there’s another reason you’re here. 

“So,” Rhys says, tilting his head slightly. “What’s your favorite track?”

How the hell—

“I mean, the whole album is great,” you say, “but ‘Sear My Skin’ has been on repeat lately.”

It’s a calculated choice, and you don’t miss the quirk of Azriel’s brow in your peripheral. 

“Interesting pick,” Rhys says, his smirk widening. “That one’s been causing a bit of a stir lately.”

Cassian chuckles. “Yeah, Az really knocked it out of the park with that one.”

And there it is—the perfect segue. You glance past them, finally letting your gaze settle on Azriel, who’s been silent this whole time. 

He’s leaned back in his chair, arms crossed over his chest, his expression unreadable as his dark eyes meet yours. For a second, the noise of the room seems to fade, and you realize your heart is pounding in your chest, 

“Azriel,” you say, his name coming out steadier than you expected. “Can I ask you something?”

He quirks that brow again, the faintest hint of a smirk playing on his lips. “You just did.”

Cassian groans dramatically, dragging a hand down his face. “Come on, man. Don’t make it harder than it needs to be,” he mutters.

Azriel ignores him, his gaze still fixed on you. “What’s the question?”

You take a breath, forcing yourself to hold his stare. “The song—’Sear My Skin.’ Is it about me?”

Rhysand doesn’t bother hiding his laughter, leaning back in his chair like he’s settling in for a show. Cassian’s drink nearly slips out of his hand, and he mutters something under his breath that sounds suspiciously like, Oh, shit.

Azriel doesn’t react immediately. He just stares at you, his expression unreadable, until the silence stretches so thin you think it might snap. 

“Who are you?” he asks finally, his tone maddeningly calm. 

You blink, thrown off by the audacity of the question. “You seriously don’t remember me?”

He leans back, shrugging one shoulder. “I don’t remember half the women I sleep with.” Cassian chokes on his drink, Rhysand’s grin stretching wide enough to show teeth, but you’re not about to let Azriel off that easily. 

“Pressed against the door, your lips trace the ache?” You quote the line pointedly, crossing your arms as you glare at him. The memory rushes back—how he’d tasted on your tongue, how his hands had threaded through your hair before all hell broke loose. “Sound familiar?”

“It’s not that deep,” Azriel replies, his tone dismissive, though his gaze sharpens ever so slightly. 

“Really?” you counter, your tone dripping with incredulity. “Right before I finish, your body’s all I feel, breathed in your ear ‘you feel too good to be real.’” Your voice rises, your chest tightening as the words leave your mouth. “You literally said that to me while you were balls deep in me against a wall.”

Azriel freezes, his lips parting slightly as a faint flicker of surprise breaks through his carefully guarded expression. For a split second, it’s almost satisfying. 

Cassian’s reaction is anything but subtle. His chair scrapes loudly against the floor as he doubles over in laughter, nearly spilling his drink again. He gasps, pounding the table. “Yo, what the fuck?!”

Rhysand isn’t fairing much better, his laughter barely contained as he leans forward, resting his elbows on the table, his amusement still sharp but with a more controlled edge than Cassian’s, to his credit.

Azriel’s jaw tightens, and he finally breaks eye contact, glancing down at the table. “Okay,” he mutters, the word barely audible over the laughter. “Maybe it’s a little about you.”

Cassian claps a hand over his mouth, trying and failing to muffle another loud “Yo!” Rhysand smirks, watching the two of you closely. 

But you shake your head, not about to let him off with just that. “A little? Really? You practically narrated the whole thing—I deserve royalties.”

Azriel raises an eyebrow, clearly not expecting that response. “Royalties?” he repeats, half-laughing, but still avoiding eye contact.

Before he can properly respond, a security guard steps forward, tilting their head toward the door, a silent gesture that your time is up. 

You roll your eyes but shoot Azriel a teasing smile. “Guess I’m out of time for royalties. But I’ll be expecting them in the mail.”

As the security guard ushers you forward, Rhysand speaks up. “Well, nice to meet you, Sear My Skin,” he says, voice dripping with humor. 

You grin back at him, a little cheeky. “My name—”

“It’s (y/n),” Azriel interrupts, dragging a hand over his face as he speaks, his tone casual but something darker in his gaze that would’ve stopped you in your tracks if not for the man guiding you away.

You blink at him, and can’t help the smile blooming on your face. He remembered you. Really remembered you. 

Just as you’re about to take another step toward the exit, Cassian shouts from behind you, “Wait, wait, wait!” His voice is a mix of urgency and excitement. 

You turn around, confused, as Cassian's already talking to someone behind the merch table. The team member nods, already moving to grab something and hand it over to you. Cassian looks at you with that mischievous grin you’re so used to seeing on video. “We’ll set you up for the show. Don’t leave without saying hi to us again, yeah?”

You look at the woman heading your way and take the slip she hands you, your heart stopping when you read the words Backstage Pass. You’re not sure what’s happening, but the thrill of it courses through you. “Uh—Yeah, thank you?”

“Anytime, princess,” Cassian says with a wink, leaning back in his chair as he makes a show of lounging. 

You glance at Azriel one last time before being nudged along by the guard. He looks back at you for a moment, unreadable as ever, but there’s something in his eyes. But he says nothing, and it’s enough to make your chest tighten, a mix of anticipation and confusion bubbling in your stomach. 

[theresamouseinmyhouse]

tim + brentwood characters as boys i was legitimately friends with in high school and think of every single day:

Buzz- Jake (fake names for all of my friends bc privacy reasons) who complained about hanging out with nerds, got into a fistfight with someone else on his football team bc they called us nerds, was thoroughly convinced he'd run laps faster if he was hopped up on pixie stix (i held his backback while he got sick in the bathroom👍👍), he tried to hit on my older sister and she laughed at him, he was so put out he contemplated becoming a monk for a week

Wes: Max, who i helped sneak an entire bottle of orange juice on to the bus to our choir competition, but was unaware he brought a full bottle of vodka as well, ended up crying on our choir teacher for the three hours after the comp and i bought him a box of donuts after school, he did not stop doing this and had severe beef with a kid he knew in 5th grade and hadnt seen since but also hadnt forgotten their name and last i knew, was still awaiting for a dreaded confrontation to eventually come

Kip: Eduardo, who we all thought was studying during lunch but was actually filling his notebook with weird facts he observed about us and also managed to chew several packs of gum at once throughout our math class before the teacher noticed him, didnt know the plot to the clockwork orange so i lied about it for 5 weeks before he read it and called me just to tell me "you lying frog" befire he hung up

Ali: Ángel, who lied several times on separate occasions to the campus security about where people smoked, forgot what chihuahuas were twice, and almost drowned when he was swimming except his older brother got him and he immediately called me while waiting for the ambulance to tell me he almost fucking died, randomly sang a song about crabs he made up throughout the day

Danny: Ben, helped me with my biology homework because i helped him with essays, once released a live rat into the computer classroom because he had beef with the teacher, once texted me at 11 p.m. because he was having a mental breakdown over his chem work before he realized he was actually looking at trig and i told him id shoot him with a tranq gun if he woke me up like this again, kept forgetting how to tie his shoes

Tim: Teddy, he catfished 6 men over the age of 30 by pretending to be a 13 yr old girl and lured them to the part of town where there is an absurd amount of wild dogs that evade animal control and are known to maul humans, i watched him lockpick the english teacher's door so he could take back an essay he wrote bc it was actually a slash fic he printed out and turned in by accident, we hung out at a dennys once and he accidentally put his hand in syrup, looked me dead in the eye and said "i did that bc im gay" and wore pastel pink for a month bc it pissed off the hall monitor, his dad, and also six teachers he didnt even have class with

[toxictigertonic]

HEYYY ! Love your outlast trials headcanons omgg :D I don’t know if you have yet, but please can you do a day at the Beach onee with the prime assets ?

Yessss keep asking me about the sillies please. I'm going to put them in any situation imaginable. Mentally pushing them down the stairs for yours and my entertainment.

COYLE

- Refuses to wear sunscreen, gets burnt to shit. The hat is the only thing that protects his bald head from burning. Has sunglasses tan lines.

- Won't admit to it, but he likes to pretend to be a shark when he's in the water. That's if you can get the battery off of him.

- Wears American flag swim trunks.

- Is the one that brings a fuck ton of sand back with him. It's in his shoes, in his swim trunks, even his hat. Don't ask.

- Steals Franco's beach toys and hides them in his trunks. Will not give them back.

- Strong swimmer, would attempt to surf, would absolutely eat shit. Franco would be cheering in the background.

- Did not pack a lunch, bitches and moans about being hungry the whole time until given food.

- Classic beach bully. Kicking sand in people's faces, splashing people who are sun bathing, just a menace.

- Gets pinched by a crab as soon as he steps onto the beach. He deserves it tbh.

MOTHER GOOSEBERRY

- Overpacks for the trip. Somehow forgets sunscreen. Has to go back for it because she burns easy.

- Futterman has the little stripe of sunscreen on his beak. Gotta stay protected from the sun, even if you're a goose puppet.

- Sandcastle master. Yet another art she's perfected. Decorates them with seashells she finds.

- Also the one that goes out of her way to collect pretty seashells. She's got a jar of them :)

- She loves to swim and be in the water. Futterman hisses like a cat as soon as she's within 5 feet of the water.

- Futterman has a floatie around his neck. This does not make him feel any better.

- She wears the biggest, floppiest sun hat and the cutest striped one piece. Futterman's hat has stripes on it to look like a bathing suit.

- Brings lunch for everybody, she made sandwiches! If you complain about her choice of sandwich ingredients she's dunking your head underwater.

- Futterman has to have copious amounts of sand shaken out of him before they go home. He's pissed.

FRANCO

- I feel like he'd like the beach a lot but not be able to swim for shit. Floaties, life jacket, he needs it all for his own safety.

- Purple swim trunks and a cute beach themed button up that Gooseberry got him. Also has a cute beach towel.

- Gooseberry tries to warn him to be careful about not losing his pacifier in the sand. He does not listen. Problems ensue. He blames Coyle and says he stole it.

- After he finds his pacifier (it got lost in the sand), he's still pissed bc it's covered in sand. How's a man supposed to enjoy the beach with a sand covered pacifier? The answer is he's not, he wants to go home now.

- Did not bring Lupara, he could've but he didn't want to get sand in her.

- Coyle keeps kicking over his sand castles, especially when he's almost done with them. He filled one with rocks in retaliation :)

- Him and Gooseberry build sandcastles together! She helps him decorate and make them pretty.

- Went to go in the water but his foot touched something squishy and it freaked him out.

- Absolutely believes that if you eat and then go swimming you'll drown. Tries to convince Coyle to eat then swim, and is pissed when he doesn't die.

Bonus! They all team up to bury Pusher in the sand up to the neck. He screams "not cool man, not cool!" the whole time. Nobody listens. They may have forgotten him there.

[libertatias]

hello, i am here to ask you about your clown yaoi hcs <3

a lot of these are based on an rp i did with a buddy of mine but here are some of my faves:

shanks has a box of letters he's never sent because buggy never answered his first one and shanks doesn't want to be a bother :(

(they're both idiots because buggy absolutely read it and wrote a reply but then ripped it up bc no!! he won't let shanks get the better of him!!)

toki taught them how to dance while they were on the oro jackson and after they finally get together post-timeskip, one of the first things they do is dance together the way toki taught them

buggy is immune to and from shanks' haki and always thought this was normal bc they were practically inseparable as kids so why tf would he be scared of shanks (it is not normal. no one can explain it)

(they swore a literal blood oath when they were like 10 that they would always be there for each other. shanks' haki recognizes a piece of itself in buggy. neither one of them is aware of this)

this also means shanks has never been able to sense buggy with observation haki, which absolutely terrified him when he first awakened it as a kid because he could feel everyone and everything too much too loud but not buggy, why couldn't he feel buggy

shanks' observation awakening also happened during the whole shiki shitshow at edd war so not only was there a HUGE STORM and buggy possibly drowning to worry about but so much death and anger and fear and he couldn't sense buggy in any of it

roger had to separate these wet kittens bc shanks was having a mild mental breakdown and buggy was not helping bc buggy has never understood the whole haki thing and shanks was so afraid buggy didn't feel anything about him bc buggy was the only quiet part of the storm but buggy was also safe and it was just a mess and a half until shanks' brain stopped exploding

so much of their miscommunication stems from the fact that shanks is absolutely garbage at reading buggy (and he can't even cheat with haki) and the fact that buggy always assumes shanks means something he doesn't (king of catastrophizing everything shanks says) — especially when he does actually know what shanks meant and can't deal with shanks being so brutally honest

eventually, once they're more established as an Actual Couple (or something close to it) they sort of stumble their way into experimenting with buggy's devil fruit power which results in what i like to call armsharing

buggy lets shanks borrow his arm and through a combination of like deliberately giving his will over to shanks and inexplicable haki nonsense (the intimacy of literally giving a piece of yourself to another person wholly and freely), shanks is able to control the arm, but buggy can still feel it as an extension of his body

while shanks is in control of the arm, he can also use haki on it (like hardening or what have you), but for the first time buggy can also feel shanks' haki (which feels so much like roger buggy almost loses it) and shanks, for the first time, can sense buggy's feelings

he still can't see buggy's aura tho bc it is, in fact, too enormous to be seen by looking directly at it but is radiating every feeling he's ever felt about shanks at full capacity

the first time they armshare shanks cries bc it's like he's seeing buggy for the first time with his eyes wide open and he can finally finally feel the immensely overwhelming love pouring off buggy in waves (that he always wanted to believe was there but never knew for sure)

it only works when shanks is borrowing the arm tho so as soon as buggy takes it back, haki immunity is reinstated :(

they get married post-canon and fuck off to live on a houseboat together until they have a kid and shanks panics bc he can't live at sea with two drowning risks who are also THEE most important ppl in his life

so they move back to karai bari and establish a real town there that isn't just circus tents and it's very cute and domestic but also mildly annoying for shanks bc croc and mihawk just never left and now croc is mayor i guess bc no one else wanted the job

their kid is named giacomo who they call their little jackpot or just jack for short

jack grows up and wants to be just like his dads and granddads and eventually apprentices in shipbuilding so he can build his own ship in homage to the oro jackson that he calls the oro jackpot

shanks and buggy and the rest of roger's surviving crew all have small pieces of the oro jackson that they've held onto all this time and they donate these pieces to the oro jackpot so roger will live on in that ship too

[friendofthefrogswastaken]

hello i just rewatched black sails episode IX (2x01) and HOLY SHIT. THERE’S SO MUCH GOING ON. SO MUCH THATS THEMATICALLY RELEVANT TO THE WHOLE SHOW. but first, the silverflint. THE SILVERFLINT!! everything i love about their dynamic was in this bit, how flint is so exasperated with silver, how funny and witty silver is, how well they work as a team and how despite it being better for them to abandon each other they KEEP. COMING. BACK. also every time that flint has a flashback to london hes right next to silver, looking at him, thinking about him!! i thought before that i didnt really see the silverflint in seasons 1 and 2 but i TOTALLY see it here, i think this is the beginning of it, the pivotal moment was when silver helped flint through gates’ death and the whole mess, so its early on but its there!!!

and now for the themes bc AAAAAAAAHHHH!! the episode STARTS with this merchant captain saying “those stories youve heard— tools of the trade, self-applied by the pirates themselves, intendeed to separate us from our cargo by surrender rather than sword. These are men… not monsters. if we behave rationally and civilly, so will they” which is USUALLY true for pirates from what we’ve seen so far, but then ned low ISNT like that (i hate ned low) but also this merchant captain’s view is what the show is trying to say! (without the whole civility think at the end) the pirates are people! but then he brings civility into it which is sooo interesting and important and thematic

i started thinking about how at both the end of season 1 and season 2, someone who flint loves and who has kept him steady dies and he’s adrift and doing bad mentally (i feel like its not mentioned often how in the beginning of this episode, flint is not trying to stay alive. he’s given up. he was going to let himself drown at the end of 1x08 and that hasnt changed yet. UNTIL he has a path forward. and he has that path because of SILVER *cue silverflint squeeing*) the only one who dies at the end of s3 is vane who isnt close to flint but hes important to the cause… doesnt really fit into this narrative but whatever. at the end of s4, flint dies. HE DIES!! everyone close to him has died, and now it’s his turn.

flint’s speech about the fucking warship is so good. like the writing is so good. the structure of the speech is EXCELLENT. how he uses the anaphora (wait now i forget if its anaphora or epistrophe but im gonna trust past me who said it was anaphora in my notes on the episode) of “a fucking warship” building the intensity of omg this is hopeless EXCEPT. here im giving you a way out and the way out is “there might be something else you can steal. the fucking warship” IS SUCH A GOOD END TO THE SPEECH IT BRINGS IT ALL TOGETHER this really made me appreciate flint’s speech giving abilities hes so charismatic and convincing!! so yeah the writing of it was excellent and also toby stephens’ delivery of it has such a great cadence and intensity was PERFECTION!!!!!

in the second flashback when they’re watching a pirate get executed and the crowd cheering for it, james says to thomas, “in most cases a man trying to change the world fails for one simple and unavoidable reason— everyone else.” (the quotes are bolded bc i bolded them in my notes and copied it into this post but also it works) anyways. this is so thematic both because thomas fails because of everyone else (his father and peter) and in season 4 flint is a man trying to change the world and he fails because of someone else (we’re coming back to this) so the parallels!! and flint understands this in the moment but he gets so reckless by the end of their time together he forgets that thomas is probably going to fail!! and he forgets that he’s probably going to fail in s4!! and he never sees the betrayal coming!!

NOW FOR THE BIGGEST PART THAT MADE ME START WRITING THIS POST IN THE FIRST PLACE!! MIRANDA!! THE FIRST TIME JAMES MEETS MIRANDA IS IN THIS FLASHBACK!!! AND SHE SAYS SO MUCH IMPORTANT STUFF IN THIS WISE AND ALLURING AND CHARMING WAY THAT WE CAN SEE DRAWS JAMES IN SO WELL!! here is the final things she says to him: “great men aren’t made great by politics. they aren’t made great by prudence or propriety. they are, every last one of them, made great by one thing and one thing only— the relentless pursuit of a better world. the great men don’t give up that pursuit. they don’t now how. and that is what makes them invincible.” first off in the context of this episode. flint remembers this when hes on the ship, watching the crew vote on if he should live. he looks over at silver, cue flashback. he is thinking of himself as a great man here, and he is pursuing his gold and his revenge on england. but right now he’s been in a place where hes giving up. hes at a huge low point, and hes struggling to convince himself its worth it to keep going. then he remembers miranda saying that great men dont give up. they dont know how. and thats (part of) what convinces him not to give up. and when flint doesn’t give up, he’s invincible (*cough* 4x10 *cough*) which brings me to… who in the show is a great man? I can say 100% Madi is a great woman. she is the best she is wonderful i love her with my whole heart and she definitely meets this criteria. Thomas is who miranda is talking about in this context, shes saying that he is a great man because he can’t give up on his dream for nassau, and i agree he definitely meets the criteria. and his (and james’) downfall is that they are great men. they dont know how to give up. THEIR DOWNFALL IS THAT THEY ARE GREAT MEN!!!!! silver is not a great man. he gives up. he prioritizes comfort over the cause. so… is james flint a great man? I think that this show is about him becoming one. In the beginning, he’s conflicted. he’s angry at england, he’s a bad partner, he’s committed to piracy. he has given up on their original dream for nassau. that changes in s2, when he’s given hope for their cause again and his original dream comes back, replacing his desire for revenge against england. in s3 he’s slowly pulling himself out of this massive pit of grief where he is driven by depression and grief and anger and hopelessness. he’s just living, even though he doesnt want to (also i barely remember anything from s3 because i watched like 60% of it in one day and all i was paying attention to was the silverflint so… i might be a little off there but thats the idea) he grows throughout the season, and he becomes a better man. s4 flint is flint in his final form. committed to a just cause of freeing people from the british empire, and fighting for it alongside (in some cases) equally committed people. he is fully committed to both the cause AND john silver, and he doesn’t know how to give either of them up. HE DOESNT KNOW HOW TO GIVE EITHER OF THEM UP, BUT HE HAS TO GIVE UP AT LEAST ONE OF THEM. john silver doesnt give him a choice. he would be invincible if he didnt have this internal conflict of being committed to two things and not being able to chose to give up either of them. thats what destroys him. HIS DOWNFALL IS THAT HE IS A GREAT MAN!!!!

so uh yeah i think the rewatch value on this show is pretty good

[artstatues]

God save the ex heir apparent. - g.h

wc : 532

pairings : none

synopsis : the will has just been read. and all of the fortune went to some girl named avery. after everything he was raised for? i mean, he was called 'heir apparent' for a reason.

warnings : bit of toxic!gray yk bc its set in the first book, no one really like gray in the first book anyway, but uhh mental breakdown, self destruction, small attempt of suicide maybe? em1ly, t0bias, verbal abuse by t0by?

a/n : kay i did half of this on a plane and the other half at 6 in the morning so i do apologize if theres anything wrong or my writings not its best rn

taglist : @never-enough-novels, @reminiscentreader, @urbanflorals, @kozumesphone, @reyna-obsessed, @lxvebelle.

Right when this ‘Avery Kylie Grambs’ dashed out of the room, so did Grayson. No one called after him. He raced towards his room, hands already in his hair, messing up his perfectly styled hair from the morning. His breathing became ragged before he finally reached his room, blindly grabbing the door knob before slamming and locking the door. Gray slid down the door, his hands still didn't leave his hair, he was pulling at it now. He was only a child when the old man started raising him like the heir apparent. He should’ve inherited everything. It wasn’t fair. The old man’s games never were. But this? Hells this is far worse. All of the pressure, all of his stupid fucking scoldings and for what? For all that he was raised for to be given to some peasant girl? His breathing became more uneven, he was basically tugging at his hair now, and he could feel a tear drop. He hasn’t cried since the old man told him he was never going to be enough. Since then, he hasn’t cried. He forced himself every night to not cry. Crying was weak, in the old man’s eyes, but he wasn’t here anymore. The old man was dead, and he left this girl everything, while Gray was left with her. Grayson quickly changed out of his neat suit into a pair of swimming trunks one of his brothers bought him, he couldn’t remember which but it didn’t matter right now. He quickly, yet neatly tied a bathrobe over himself before heading towards the indoor swimming pool. The indoor swimming pool that the old man built because he learned that his grandson loved to swim. The indoor swimming pool that the other Hawthorne brothers had to ask for Grayson’s permission to use. The indoor pool that Grayson had. All. To. Himself. Grayson had a terrible habit since the old man started pressuring him, started scolding him for everything. He started to swim until he couldn’t anymore, until his arms grew numb and his legs became heavy. For years he’s done that as a coping mechanism, but the old man thought his heir apparent just loved to swim. Grayson did, he did love swimming, he swam competitively, all for the old man. Until he died, that is, he stopped liking everything, he stopped eating for days, he just lied in bed. Emily’s voice here and there, floating around his mind during those times.

Grayson swam, swam until his arms were too heavy, swam until his legs were numb. He swam until his head felt too heavy to lift and started to feel himself drowning. To just drown, drown, drown, die. Avery Kylie fucking Grambs instead of me? Really? Just another old man’s games, was it? He wouldn’t drown. He couldn’t. It’s human reflex to survive. Survive. That’s all he’s been doing since– everything, Emily, childhood hell, whatever the hell the old man was doing to him- oh there you go, verbal abuse. No one was here to help this time, they were all at the will reading. They were still trying to process this. Process everything, but definitely processing this much better than Grayson was. You. Will. Never. Be. Enough. Not now, not today, and not tomorrow. Never.

Perhaps thats why the old man gave it to Avery.

[loth-creatures]

I’d love to hear your wall of text about the Sion’s voyage!

Aight, so if there's one thing I hated about the show it's that the journey to a whole ass new galaxy felt like it took 5 minutes. So in my star war it takes roughly 7 weeks and it fucking SUCKS

Disclaimer; this is just a huge mess from my head, nothing is set in stone, and I'm only really planning to comicify the last few parts ;)

Also cw for some implied self-harm ideation, terrible coping mechanisms, deteriorating mental health, violence and injuries (just mentioned, not in detail)

To set the scene, they're using the training/rec room as Sabine’s prison bc Wolfbine is too big for the actual brig lol. Much to the entire crew's irritation. The first week or two they just handcuff her in a corner at blasterpoint whenever they want to use it I guess, and find a closet to lock loose equipment in. At least she gets some entertainment. She probably also gets beat up a few times (you should see the other guy) for commenting on people's techniques. But eventually they decide she probably won't try anything and stop caring she's there, so she's left alone for the most part.

She spends a lot of time working out, bc otherwise she is strongly considering bashing her head into the wall. Having to sit alone as a human and pace in circles as a wolf for days on end with the weight of her decision and all kinds of fresh guilt is doing terrible things to her head...She is also spending a lot of time trying and failing not to sob and scream in the shower when no one's around. There is also a viewport in the rec room and Sabine spends an unhealthy amount of time staring into the rainbow swirl of hyperspace. She can't tell whether or not she's hallucinating the strange shapes that occasionally drift into view, singing strange songs that she can feel more than hear. It reminds her of the ocean and she shudders and dreams of drowning, being crushed by the depths. And she dreams of Ezra alone and lost in this void. There's no easy way to break free of such thoughts when she's essentially trapped in a fish bowl.

Meanwhile, Shin hates Sabine even more now for making her a Wolfwalker. She is not adjusting well to turning into a giant beast every time she tries to sleep and on a cramped vessel with little space to stretch those legs. Having been bitten only just before boarding the Sion, she hasn't had the chance to run wild for miles with the wind in her fur; all she knows is that the journey feels twice as long and horrid when she's consious 24/7. Baylan, on the other hand, is like DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME THIS IS?! YOU SHOULD BE THANKING HER. He's not jealous persay, but. Well. Careful what you wish for...

Wolf Sabine and Shin are both getting major zoochosis smh. It's a miracle Shin hasn't killed a random crew member yet. Wolfbine behaves for maybe a week before she starts chewing up the flooring and howling and screaming husky style just to be a little shit. See how long it takes before someone threatens to shoot her, muzzle her, throw her out the airlock (not long). She can't afford to antagonize the crew too much bc there is only one person on the entire ship who wants her there and he has limited authority. Baylan is quick to remind her of this.

He also makes several attempts to talk to her and get on better terms, as he would like to learn more about the wolves. He tells her of the old fragments of stories of Wolfwalkers he found in the Jedi Temple on Coruscant and his facsination with them and how chasing such tales lead to his other ambitions. Lowkey info-dumping about all the fairy-tales and mythalogical stuff that Shin never took an interest in. Sabine is deathly bored enough to tolerate it to extent, but she is not forgiving him for 'killing' Ahsoka, for digging in her head, for putting her in this situation, and she is absolutely kicking herself for having bitten Shin. For letting anyone affiliated with the Empire close to Lothal's secrets. Too her it's put a deep crack through her promise to protect Lothal, perhaps not as much as having given Thrawn a way home, but she's going to try her damnest to undo that one, and shoves that looming guilt aside as best she can, instead spiraling about the fact that she made Shin a Wolfwalker and short of killing her there is no undoing that. So most of her conversations with Baylan end with telling him to go fuck himself.

Just now realizing I've never gone into detail about why Sabine bit Shin. It was a complete accident. Split second reaction out of pain after taking another small slice from Shin’s lightsaber during their fight on Seatos, which she was able to heal herself but it slowed her down enough for Shin to escape. With a nasty little nip to the arm.

That all said Sabine does not want to kill Shin, in fact she's just starting to feel sorry for her. Shin might be all MY ARCH NEMESIS SABINE WREN, but from the beginning Sabine is just like ugh can this random chick stop making my life harder 🙄

And if she's this miserable as a wolf rn, she can imagine what Shin's going through as a first timer, which is all her fault :( plus the fact that as wolves they are instinctively drawn to other wolves and each of their suffering seems to exacerbate the other's. They are both so lonely. 2 weeks in and (human)Sabine is bored and desperate enough to try heckling Shin into sparring with her, on the rare occasion she passes by (Shin’s been avoiding that room). 3 weeks in and Shin's gotten bored and desperate enough to accept the invitation.

I hc that during a friendly match, most Force-users will refrain from using the Force against a non-Force-user for the most part. Shin is not interested in friendly and absolutely hammers Sabine unless Baylan is there to remind her to play nice. Sabine is fine with this. She wants Shin to use the Force (come at me bro). If anyone's gonna be holding back it's Sabine. She wants to get as familiar as possible with Shin's fighting skill and habits without revealing the full extent of her own, while also slowly learning to anticipate and work around Shin’s use of the Force. That way she'll have an advantage the next time they fight for reals. It's difficult to impossible to hold back though, while still presenting enough of a challenge to keep Shin coming back for more.

While Sabine is more experienced, with a wider range of techniques and more refined skill, Shin is still skilled and powerful and it's hardly a fair fight without her armor and gear. She gets her shit rocked.

Sabine is very rarely able to beat Shin when she's using the Force. But she can withstand her. Many of their fights don't end with a quick, decisive victory so much as Shin just wearing Sabine down until she physically can't fight anymore though she refuses to tap out or surrender. Because for one, it's pissing Shin off, which is fun. And for two, ending the fight means returning to the hell that is sitting alone and staring out that window until it makes her sick in the head. She would kill a man for a single can of paint.

While Shin is toying with Sabine and using her as a bunching bag on the basis that she asked for it, keeps asking for it, doesn't know when to give up, and totally deserves it 😤, she is no easy opponent and Shin is continuously shocked by Sabine's ability to survive her. She was supposed to be just another enemy to tear through, yet has survived two murder attempts, and Shin is now stuck with her on this godforsaken ship for some reason, and she doesn't even have the grace to admit when she's defeated. Unstoppable force has met unmovable object.

Shin simultaneously resents and admires her, though doesn't quite respect her yet. And she definitely fears her a little (though she would never admit that). I kinda get the vibe that Shin’s never really lost a fight, has never truly been left for dead at the end of a battle, and the thought terrifies her. Either she is invincible or she is dead. Meanwhile Sabine can be coughing up blood and she'll be like 'cool see you tmr'✌️😎 The fact that Shin probably deleted one of Sabine's kidneys on Lothal and she seems hardly intimidated is well. Intimidating. And annoying. And hot.

I feel like at some point Baylan would point out that Shin could probably learn a thing or two from Sabine if she would stop beating the shit out of her for two seconds. Shin is already aware of that but doesn't want to admit it.

Meanwhile Sabine just doesn't care anymore what happens to her as long as she lives long enough to get off this accursed vessel, doesn't care how hurt she gets, as long as it passes the time and distracts her from her spiraling thoughts. She's offered a medic multiple times and refuses each time. She doesn't want them seeing the full extent of her injuries and then finding out she can heal herself with the wolf-magic, bc the Empire doesn't need to know about that. She only heals the worst injuries and then gaslights Shin about it. 'You did not break any ribs lol I'm fine quit flattering yourself.' Shin’s like how the fuck are you still standing.

This routine of brutally taking out their frustrations on each other is gonna get old though, and is completely unsustainable. Eventually Shin’s convinced that Sabine is just using her for pain. Which isn't wrong even if it's not the only or even primary reason Sabine keeps asking. Sabine calls her out on fighting like a coward and enjoying hurting her anyway. Shin goes and sulks for a few days after that (not without punching Sabine in face first).

Ok time out. What the hell is Shin’s deal anyway. I have only some half-baked ideas about Baylan and Shin’s...thing. They're like the closest thing we've gotten to 'grey Jedi?' I guess? I've been operating under the assumption that that's what they're essentially trying to be (though it's not what they'd call themselves), something more than Jedi, Baylan says, and that 'more' is just chasing power. They will inevitably fall completely. Probably need to watch the show again to get a better read on them tbh but I would rather not. It will hurt my feelings again :( Baylan is like the mountain. He's calm, he's steady and the darkness erodes him slowly. He thinks he's successfully toeing the line with the dark side, but his faults are most evident in Shin's training. She is like a hurricane. The Force rips through her, chaotic and volatile and her control is iron yet brittle. She hasn't known inner peace a day in her life. She just taught herself restraint in the sense that she suppresses her power until she needs it to plow through her enemies. She will fall far more quickly than her master. Baylan's teachings follow the Jedi's to an extent but once the darkness is let in, those lessons become skewed and contradicted, and Shin is a mess because of it, only mirroring her master's control on the surface. Baylan isn't the worst teacher but he is not a good one. While Shin loves and trusts Baylan, she is getting tired and frustrated following his mysterious whispers of legends to an end he never explains clearly. And she is afraid.

ANYWAY, once Shin’s done sulking, one of these days her and Sabine are gonna have a genuine conversation or two and maybe agree to an actually friendly sparring match in which they agree to not just blindly pulverize each other. They take breaks and drink water and tend to their wounds like adults. And Sabine is like you know, we could just. Hang out. As wolves at least. It would suck sooo much less if you'd come play with me as a wolf xoxo. They slowly transition into a more definitive Truce.

Shin does start hanging out in the rec room as a wolf. Sabine still isn't volunteering info on the wolf magic but she does talk about what its like being wolfwalker in general. They tussel and chase each other around, often getting too rough but also loud enough that someone will come yell at them to stfu before they really hurt each other. It's much easier to take naps as wolves too after they've had a chance to burn some energy which makes the entire ship more peaceful.

However, you can't just be the first vessel in centuries to cross between galaxies and not have some kind of disaster right? Well it turns out the strange shapes out the viewport were not hallucinations. The Sion is essentially traveling through the cosmic deep ocean and there are bigger, older things than even the Purrgil out there. Nothing has an interest in attacking the Sion, but at some point something very large drifts close enough to jolt the Sion off course and shorts out the entire system. This ends up forcing them to drop out of hyperspace in the middle of absolute fucking nowhere.

It takes a few days to get the ship running again and recalculate the jump. And here's where Sabine gets to be a hero and earn some respect around here, bc most of their mechanics are droids which also shorted out and lost power. Seeing as they are at risk of losing life support, they let Sabine help with repairs and turns out she's one of the best mechanics on board, even considering the newer technology she doesn't have as much experience with. This also allows her to get more familar with the ship and find the best places to hide out when she eventually makes her escape, while simultaneously giving the crew more reason to let their guard down on her. Including Shin.

That first loss of power is the worst but there are several more blackouts along the way. Human Sabine and Shin are almost getting along now. They still don't like each other but they are hooking up (it does not fix them), and playing card games by flashlight and truth or dare. Maybe Shin even scrounges up some art supplies for Bean. Now she can pass the time hiding sharpie dicks all over the place. They are almost friends by the time there are three days left in the journey and Sabine is preparing to make her move.

Baylan was probably the one to initiate letting Sabine have her lightsaber to sparr occasionally. He wanted to test her metal as well. I think it would be interesting if they sparred a couple times. Baylan is much more chivalrous than Shin and also goes into teacher mode about sword fighting. Sabine isn't a novice anymore but he's still far more experienced. Shin is like no no no we are not adopting her Dad NO-

So anyway escape day comes, Sabine almost cronches Baylan to death, and Shin is beyond angry. Mostly at herself for letting her guard down enough to allow this to happen, she didn't really expect Sabine to not pull something like this in the end right? It's stupid to feel betrayed when it was so inevitable. She is still 100% gonna take it out on Sabine though, especially for almost killing her master.

Despite the escape attempt, Thrawn lets Sabine go as he does in the show, in the hope that she'll lead them to Ezra’s human body. He figures if anyone could find him, it would be a fellow wolfwalker who considers him dear enough to risk the fate of her entire galaxy. Everyone else is like you're just letting her go?? After all that??? And Thrawn's just like lol what did you expect from her? That's Sabine Wren. They probably do attempt to scan the ship for sabotage but it's so huge and her kyber bomb is so small and rudimentary that they don't find it.

At this point, Sabine is run utterly ragged. Bedraggled even. Having not slept in 2 days,(no room to wolf in the Sion's walls so she just had to stay awake 💀) suffered a heart attack at Baylan's hand, and got beat up by WolfShin again. She's visibly about to collapse and Thrawn's probably like 'do you...want to spend the night before you go? And a medic?' He knows he's most likely sending her to perish in the wilderness anyway, but was hoping to give her at least a chance at finding human Ezra for them. Sabine says hell no I'm getting out of here before you change your mind.

She rides until she actually does collapse, hides her body as best she can and continues as a wolf. She figures they let her go for a reason, and plans to run in erratic circles all night every night to hopefully throw them off, only later investigating any clues she finds as human for a few sporadic hours in the day. Thrawn does send Shin to track her at a distance. If she happens to find the trail of Wolf!Ezra first, kill her. This hunt through the wild will go on for several days at least, before there's any sign of Ezra.

[killugon-truther]

rant abt ep. 116 [hxh, killua & gon]

i’ve been wanting to make this post forever bc did you see the way killua’s lips quivered in ep. 116 right after gon says the line (you know what he says) as the camera pans upwards towards his face.

and the way it looked like he swallowed/held back a sob.

and the way after he says (and i’m paraphrasing here) “i’m only saying this because you’re out of control,” the way he has to sharply inhale, as if to emotionally balance himself and control his emotions even more.

and the way killua’s head falls and his fists unclench, and then his expression of absolute devastation after gon says that he’s “fine” bc what he said wasn’t enough.

until now throughout this arc, he’s been able to bring gon back when he goes too far and starts to lose himself, like that ep. where killua manages to calm gon down from a literal near-murder attempt just by touching his shoulder and saying a few words.

keep in mind that morel wasn’t even the person gon was mad at, but he was literally so deep in the guilt and the anger that he literally wasn’t thinking abt anything else than how he was feeling & what he was doing in that exact moment— absolutely nothing else mattered, or rather, maybe to put it more accurately, nothing else existed in that moment for him, simply bc morel had told gon to imagine that he was pitou & attack like so.

he has been bottling up so much he’s literally ready to explode (does that remind you of anyone… maybe his best friend?) with no thought of anything beyond that. he is completely blinded by all of it.

and killua was able to remind him of who he was and where he was and what was going on and what he was about to do just by tapping his shoulder and saying “gon, that’s enough.”

and to gon, a little boy who has often felt like he wasn’t good enough to be worthy of or protect the people he cares abt, or good enough to keep the people he cares about close to him, that he isn’t “strong enough” — and that only worsens throughout this span this arc— i think that killua’s words say “it’s enough; YOU’RE enough. and you don’t have to do something like this to prove that to anybody (including yourself).”

and keep in mind that right before killua touches him and then when he does, the background is bathed in a bright white light— because killua is gon’s light. he always brings gon back when he’s drowning and at his worst. he’s always there for him.

it’s part of the reason gon loves him sm; killua has absolutely internalized his “job” or role of cleaning up gon’s messes (and preventing them before they can even happen), and all he ever does is HELP gon. he stabilizes him. he keeps him sane, keeps him human. reminds him that when he’s with killua, he’s enough.

that’s why it utterly breaks killua so badly in ep. 116– he can’t do any of that anymore, when he’s always been able to.

you can see how he so badly wants to comfort gon, to bring him back again— he desires to touch him (you can see it in the way he physically reaches out towards him as gon continues to break down) like he did before, but he knows that probably isn’t the best thing to do right now. so he tries to rely on his words, but as you can see, that doesn’t bring gon back, either.

he’s willing to listen to killua (he literally stopped his murder attempt on pitou and by default, komugi just bc of killua’s words), but he still isn’t “back”; his mental health is still fucked, and he still isn’t acting like himself.

and what makes that so heartbreaking is that killua genuinely believed that gon’s stability was HIS responsibility, and that bc he wasn’t good enough to do his job, then he wasn’t good enough to be gon’s friend anymore, and that’s exactly why he left.

[mako-neexu]

drives me insane. i feel so sick i love it sm. guda still manages to be sane as soon as they saw da vinci (mama) and small vinci (sister) already dead. even though their mental state was shaken to its foundations, they still kept telling themself: "i can still do something. call the police. th eambulance. i can still do something. i cans till move. i can still check whether they are alive-"

and when they went to the telephone, seeing mash was their fucking breaking point. god. its not even mash.

mash is safe and sound in the border, but this girl wearing mash's face. kyrie. who is much like mash yet different all the same. seeing a bloody dead body of mash unearthed their deepest trauma of losing her to goetia's noble phantasm. mash is what literally keeps guda, one of the most important people in their life, going. bc everyone who's ever there from the start of part 1 had already died or sacrificed themself so mash is one of the few people left and letting her die when everyone guda's ever cherished died from them/for them would be extremely detrimental for their health. mash kyrielight is what holds fujimaru ritsuka together-

and even if it werent the da vincis themself or mash, them bearing their faces alone is enough to nearly shatter guda into almost a lifeless husk who cant be reasoned with but fight and fight and fight.

theyre ignoring- being silent in conversations (evidenced by dialogue choices), fighting battles without a care for themself and merely giving orders, saying that the enemy mobs are "in the way"....... they're also not trying for a peaceful talk anymore.....the grief, and the anger that clouds their heart.........

its like leaving a bloody trail behind, their resolve unwavering and still holding that desire to move forward, this time, their trail- their despair is lit by flames of anger like an avenger seeking vengeance drowning from the grief of losing the people they love. all over again

[thewistlingbadger]

I will defend Silco forever. If my brother beat the shit out of me, almost murdered me by DROWNING, and in my eyes gave up on Zaun even though our friend wanted us to free it; I would start hitting and bitting. Seeing him young and happy was so 😭🥲

Indeed! I'm writing a post about this atm but I'll share some of my thoughts here.

We (the vast majority of the fandom) always thought that Silco was this fucked up guy, some going so far as to call him creepy and evil. I've always been a silco fan from day one bc I found him to be very entertaining, the fucked-upness was a part of it. Plus I really loved his relationship with Jinx. Never did I once think of who Silco could have possibility been prior to vander or the falling out. Based off what we saw of him and how he mirrors others, I personally assumed that yeah, he was always a bit unhinged. He felt slited by everyone and he wanted to prove them wrong, and he had an unlikely ally on his side.

Never in A MILLION YEARS did i think there was a possibility that he was once a good guy or a normal guy. That didn't cross my mind not once. The fact that that's what saw in the flashback is GUT WRENCHING and changes everything. I've always sympathized with him bc it was clear he had a lot going on plus his own mental issues but MAN am i more on his side than ever and i have so many questions. I always thought that the falling out had been gradual, that the fight could have been seen a mile away. But now i can't help but wonder if it was like that at all. What if silco didn't see it coming? What if it felt like an ambush? Imagine how terrible he must have felt to have this friendly face become the face of his soon-to-be murderer. AND if he truly is, accidentally, the cause for Felicia's death than imagine how he felt about that. The only person who could have possibly understood the lose turned on him. and THEN i think about the implications this has on his daughter and vi...

Imo, even if Silco is at fault for the bridge, the falling out, fucking anything, he had the right to defend himself. Vander is a gigantic man who's skilled in the arts of fighting. Silco is a twig who only fights dirty. He wouldn't have stood a chance. He also had every reason to hate Vander. Vander betrayed him, tried to kill him, gave him a permeant injury that impacted silco's life AND impacted the way people saw silco, gave him major scarring, major trauma, failed the undercity/the cause/ HIM, and filled his heart with rage.

[satrs]

Can’t feel my face - bllk x fem!Reader N°11

WORDCOUT; 3.2k

TAGS; unprotected intercourse. getting caught in the act(Mhm oh yes another cockblocker). angstttt muhauaha. oral (fem!receiving) AGAIN, bc I want too.

You stepped out to the loud event, eyes crinkling at the shrill voices and bright lights, sneaking your way up to the club as quick as you could.

As you conquered the last set of stairs, a familiar face stood right before you, hand holding out for yours. As you glanced up, you came face to face with Barou. You were perplexed by his action, taking his hand regardless. He leads you around some corners into an empty room, in what seemed to be some kind of staff lounge. It was comfortably quiet in there, and the lights were just as comforting for your eyes. “You’re not in the ring today?” You began to stir up a conversation, taking a seat on the couch in the middle of the room, eyeing the man. He just shook his head no, walking up to the fridge and coming back with two puddings, handing one out to you, “Want one?”

You took it with a thank you, unboxing the pudding while Barou seated himself right next to you, handing you a spoon. You both ate in silence, unsure of what to talk about. The last time you saw him was him diving between your legs, pulling out a mind-numbing orgasm out of you. So how the hell could you possibly find a casual topic to talk about right now?

“You really like munching on pudding, huh?” You said, punching yourself mentally for it. He scooped up his last spoon of pudding, drowning it in one go as he looked at you, and you swore, you almost jumped at him right there and then at the sight of the smirk adoring his usual grumpy features.

“We both know by now that I don’t only like munching on pudding.” This made you silent, attention back on your pudding as he huffed out a laugh at himself, licking up some of the remaining pudding over his lip. „Tch. So you really are all bark but no bite, huh?“

This made you turn, brows furrowed in offense. “Fuck, do you mean?” This earned you another smirk and hell, if he did this one more time, you will most definitely jump on top of him.

"Stop that. I know what you're trying to do." This made the man's eyebrow raise, acting innocent. "Oh? Well, what am I doing?" You huffed out an annoyed breath, looking around the room before returning your attention to him.

"You're trying to fuck me, Shoei."

【☆】★【☆】

It all happened way too quick, pieces of clothing long forgotten on the floor, sweat emerging from your bodies, painting your skin in a glistening tone. Your ragged breathing filled the staff room, drowning out the muffled music from the outside.

Barou's hair were disheveled and all over the place from your greedy fingers tugging on them as his head was buried in your neck, taking in your mesmerizing scent.

"You're driving me crazy, for fuck's sake." His almost animalistic groan followed with a punctured thrust of his hips up into yours, your hands clawing into his shoulders as your back arched into his touch.

Your quick movements caused the leather of the couch to creak, clapping sounds embracing the room. "Just like that. Oh, fuck!" Your words only egged him on, eager to please you.

Your sinful sounds turned louder in volume as the both of you neared your release, unable to notice the creaking of the door.

"Oh wow, Y/N."

The loud and sarcastic voice were accompanied by hands clapping together in applause, causing the both of you to quickly turn your attention to the person in horror.

At almost lightning speed, you crawled off of the man's lap as you noticed the bright red locs, plopping down next to him while trying to cover yourself up with your hands and some of the clothing near you. "Sae can't you fucking knock? What the hell?"

Barou too was in no better mood, expression turning sour as he himself covered up, curses leaving his lips. Could this bastard not wait 5 minutes longer? He was so damn close.

The red haired male only scoffed at your loud and scolding voice, eyes twitching in jealousy. "Why cover up? There's nothing that I didn't already see."

Your frustrated groan was followed by an abrupt movement of yours, standing up to collect your clothing, careful to not show any more naked skin than necessary.

You made your way to the restroom that was at the far back of the room, stomping off in terror.

"There you are, Shoei!" Another familiar man stepped through the door, his hetrocronomic eyes focused on the naked man trying to cover himself up with a pillow next to him. "Why are you - nope, don't answer that. Get dressed, we got shit to do." Oliver turned around to give him some privacy, scrolling through his phone to slack off sometime.

Curse after curse flew past the long haired man's lips, close to polish the both men's faces. "I'll beat the both of you up, trust."

The both of them ignored him, especially Sae who headed off to the restroom where you disappeared into, ignoring Oliver's questions and Barou's threats. "What's up with you, genius?"

Barou took his stance to answer, now dressed in boxers as he threw on his shirt. "I'll never forgive you for that. You heard me, old hag?" Oliver only scoffed in return, annoying the man even further. "Why so grim? Did we interrupt you, finally getting some pussy after god knows how long?"

Oliver's sly smirk soon washed off his face when Barou shot him a threatening glare, understanding that he really did interrupt his trainee. "Sorry man." Barou stomped past him, whole mood ruined. "Fuck you."

【☆】★【☆】

Sae leaned against the restroom door, eyes following your figure moving to the mirror, adjusting your appearance with a frown on your face. As you noticed his heavy sigh, you clicked your tongue in return, glaring at the young man. "Don't even say shit."

Sae took this a challenge, moving closer to you as a slight smirk creeped up his face with every step he took, looking down at you as he stood before you, whispering his next words in a teasing manner. "Shit."

Your grip on the sink tightened, closing your eyes in an attempt to collect yourself. "C'mon, there's no way I could've known you're going down on that old geezer. And Barou not to mention."

You paid him no mind, grabbing your lipstick out of the purse as you fixed your makeup. "Y/N. You know I hate being ignored."

Your pity laugh motioned the man to wrap his arm around your waist, standing behind you as he leaned down to your level, looking at you through the reflection of the mirror. "I know you better than they do."

His hand came up to your face, thumb wiping some of the color you overdrew on your lips away, the next words coming out in a low voice. "You know that as well as I do, baby."

You slapped his hand away, heading off to the door. "Maybe you do." You stopped right before the door to spare him a last glance, his hands in his pockets as he awaited for you to continue. "But we're not together. Or are we, baby?"

He didn't like that you mocked him one bit. Of course, he knew that he had feelings for you, and he wanted you for himself. The sight of Oliver and later Barou laying their hands on you tasted bitter on his tongue, jealousy eating him up from the inside.

But he just can't do it. He can't tell you that his feelings are mutual to yours, as scared of showcasing his vulnerable side. "You know it's not that easy-" "Are we or not, Sae?"

Yes. Yes you are. He loves you, you love him, you've known each other for years, getting intimate with each other numerous times, the question always lingering in the air but none of you dared to speak it out loud. Until now.

His lips formed a thin line, eyes flickering between your features before looking away. "No."

You huffed out a breath, nodding your head in disappointment as you turned back to the door, opening it as you stepped through, not sparing him another glance. "That's what I thought."

Your heart filled with disappointment at his answer. The both of you knew your feelings for each other, and it was crystal clear to you that you had some special place in his heart. But why won't he admit it? Why was he afraid to tell you about his feelings? You were both confused and heartbroken, moving through the crowds of people to the bar, to drown out your thoughts with so liquor.

"Hello gorgeous." You drowned another drink as you saw familiar purple orbs stare at you, a charming smile on his features. Reo took a seat next to you at the bar stool, head in his hand as he inspected your lonely form. "Fun without me?"

You couldn't muster to return him a nice smile in return, expression dull as you placed down your empty glass. "I'm not in the mood right now, Reo."

His smile soon disappeared from his face, switched out with a concerning expression, moving closer to you by wrapping his arm around your shoulder in an attempt of comfort. "What's wrong, pretty girl?"

"I don't want to talk about it." You slowly moved his arm from your shoulder, standing up to head back to your personal workroom. "Besides, my break is over now."

A sad look adored his handsome face, a small pout visible on it as you disappeared into the crowd of people. "What's up with her?" He didn't say it to anyone specifically, earning an answer from the bartender anyway. "She's pissed." Reo looked up at Barou, a questioning look on his face as he awaited for him to continue- to no avail. He decided to take matters into his own hands and go question you himself.

He stepped into your workspace, your back turned to the door, soon turning at the sound of it, a surprised look on your face. He chuckled at that, legs taking him to your seat, leaning against the leather lie. "What's on your mind, pretty?"

"It's nothing. Just a headache." He scoffed at that, shaking his head in disbelief. "C'mon, Y/N, It's clearly more than that." Your gaze shifted to him, lips forming a thin line in the process. He patted the empty space beside him in return, earning a hesitant look from you. "Don't worry, no fights right now. You can relax some more."

You stood up at that, seating yourself next to him as you let out an exhausted sigh. "I'm sorry. You didn't look for someone who's drinking on duty, huh?" Your weak chuckle almost made his heart break, quick to hush you by placing his hand on your cheek, thumb caressing it. "Nonono what are you talking about? You're clearly in a bad mood. You can go home right after you tell me what's up with you, yeah?"

You nodded, biting the inside of your cheek, unable to know where or how to begin. "My whole day was kind of... a rollercoaster. First, everything is fine and then, boom-" A sigh erupted from you. "Not just my day, but my whole life is a mess. Everything is just- I don't know what to do anymore Reo. I'm confused."

He hummed in understatement, thinking of the right words to express his sympathy. "How about you call it a day, hm?" You nod your head in agreement, ready to stand up and grab your stuff to leave, only to be halted by his grip on your arm, confusion adoring your face. "Stay at mine tonight."

Your protests fell on deaf ears. "I'll let your car brought to my place by the morning. I can't possibly just leave you in that state." You stayed silent, still trying to disagree. "I don't want to bother you." He let out a loud laugh at that, shaking his head in disagreement. "Bullshit. See it as our planned date."

He finally got through you, earning a content nod from you. Reo jumped to his feet in a joyful manner, leading you straight out the backdoor to his car, heading off to his home.



【☆】★【☆】

"I'm still impressed every time I see this place." He chuckled in return, asking if there is anything he could do for you. At first, you waved him off, but then the thought of a shower didn't sound that bad.

"Although, I could use a shower." He was quick to lead you to the massive master bathroom, your mouth hanging open as you admired the breathtaking bathroom. "Feel free to use whatever. I'll get you a robe." You nodded without tearing your gaze off of the room, the man returning you a chuckle at that before vanishing out of the room.

You began to undress yourself, heading to the shower as you carefully tested the temperature, stepping inside as you let the warm water envelope your body, a content sigh leaving your lips.

You opened your eyes in curiosity at the sound of the door opening, head peeking out of the shower to look at the source of the sound. You came to face with a perplexed Reo, clearing his throat as he caught a glimpse of your silhouette through the matted glass.

"You wanna join or what?" you teased, earning a nervous chuckle from the man. "Just wanted to drop off the robe." With that, he slowly inched near the shower, concentration on his face in an attempt to not peek at you through the small slit.

Biting your lower lip, your hand sneaked out of the shower, a wet hand taking a hold of his, earning a surprised yelp in return. Your hand caressed his arm in a sexual manner. "I'm serious, Reo."

His adam's apple throbbed as you revealed some of your body, gulping at the sight of your naked skin. "Hop in, golden Boy." kicking off his slippers, stepping fully clothed into the shower, lustful eyes eating up the sight before him.

Lips smashing onto yours, hands creeping to the back of your thighs, lifting you up as you instinctively wrapped your legs around his waist. The kiss was aggressive, teeth and tongue clashing against each other as his hands grasped the fat of your thighs, hot breath against your mouth as his bangs stuck to his forehead, eyes flickering between your eyes and lips frantically.

"You want this?" You clicked your tongue playfully, chasing his lips again, a needy sigh escaping you, causing him to growl into your mouth, tenderly setting you back on your feet as he turned off the water, scattering open-mouth kisses to your body. His lips soon attached to your neck, tenderly sucking on the flesh, pulling angelic sounds out of you.

"No marks." Your hand grasped his purple locs, trying to tear him from your neck, earning an annoyed growl in return. He hated the fact that he didn't have you for himself, to show you off.

He could provide you with anything, can't you see? Why not step into his life and let him treat you right?, the way you deserve to be? His mind was clouded, only you in mind as he kneeled down, not caring about being soaking wet in his clothes, lips peppering kisses onto your belly, inching closer to your heat, as your hand sneaked into his wet locs, tucking them as his hands slowly spread your legs.

His eyes sparked at the sight of your glistening folds, hand itching to touch it. As he swiped his fingers through your folds, he had to bite down on his lower lip to contain a moan from slipping out. “Perfect, so perfect, so pretty.”

In an instant his mouth was on your lower lips, his tongue dwelling in the essence of your juices, grunting against your heat as he motioned you to throw one leg over his shoulder.

He could die like this, face buried in your cunt, his nostrils filled with your scent alone, fingers digging half-moons into your thighs as he lost himself in the heat of your cunt.

His intense movements caused you to gasp, mouth hanging open as he drew you to your orgasm faster than you’ve ever had, the grasp in his locs tightening as your legs locked around his head, ragged breathing filling the shower as you threw your head back against the cold tiles, eyes screwing shut.

You looked down, only to be met with his gaze already, his eyes intensely studying the expressions he drew out of you. „So close, so so close. Please don’t stop.“

And with one last flick of his tongue, you came, him eagerly lapping up every single drop of your juices, causing your legs to shake because of the overwhelming pleasure as sinful sounds fled from your tongue, face twisting in pleasure.

You were threatening to fall victim to your buckling legs, strong arms holding you before you were about to fall. "Don't go bankrupt on me now." He chuckled, arms sneaking behind your body to turn on the water, your ragged breathing heavy on his neck, making his mind hazy.

One weak arm took a hold of his, earning his attention. "I got it from here, Reo." Your words made him pout in disappointment, earning a giggle from you. "How about you go and change? You're soaking wet and still fully clothed. That gotta be unbearable."

It was his turn to chuckle, lips planting a kiss to the corner of your lips, surprising you. "I can take anything when it's for you." Your face twisted into a sour expression, a loud laugh echoing through the bathroom. "Too much?" your nod gave it right away, another laugh ringing from the man's throat as he stepped out, heading to his room.

His funny walk made you peek out the shower, giggling at the sight. He craned his head into your direction, hands busy with getting his second skin off of his body. "I know you're tired and all, but, head to the Veranda." He took one towel from the shelf, rubbing his wet locs dry.

"What about you?" A confused look adored his features, head slightly tilting to the side. "Me? Forget about me, tonight is all about you."

Your heart swelled in your chest at his words, wordlessly disappearing behind the shower. He truly did treat you like a princess, even putting his own needs in second place. So there is more to Reo Mikage than just his money.

Reo was almost walking with jumps between his steps, drying himself up and changing as fast as humanly possible, stumbling into his pants as he made his way to the Veranda.

Reo was no dumbass, he knew what the others did with you already, he had his eyes and ears everywhere after all. But that didn't concern him. What if they had their turn with you? And what if Sae and you had some connection between the both of you? That all didn't matter to him because he was fairly confident in winning you over. He was Reo Mikage, nothing he wanted and longed for was out of his reach.

He didn't have you just yet, but he had you for tonight. So he'd make the most of it to make you craze over him, just like he does over you.

🏷️; @seiamor

ᵃˡˡ ᶜᵒⁿᵗᵉⁿᵗ ᵇᵉˡᵒⁿᵍˢ ᵗᵒ k-azus.°

[serv0z]

Why cant I stay a child forever and - ? My birthday is in 8 days so.. you know what that means !! Yearly redraw!! Older versions under cut + explanation

01/05/25 vs 01/13/24 vs 01/09/23 vs 10/13/22 So I had made the first one as a sort of. vent at the time. There was a lot of stress on me that year and my mom had told me that by 18 I was going to get a job. The problem was my mental health was so far in the dumps im sure satan even saw it. I couldnt imagine handling it and ontop of that I never imagined myself living to even be 18. So I spent a good portion of the year anxious and by the end of it I made the first one. By 2023 I had to face the fact that I was 18 now. I was just a few days away from being 18 and that scared me. It was intimidating. Where the first one was me realizing and freezing up, the 2nd was me facing it. It was much closer now and I wanted to capture the feeling of everything crumbling mentally. I still wasnt in a good place. (I didnt end up getting a job.) By 2024 I was already super fucking tired and anxious. My mental health was getting better, sure, but my physical health was not. (Doesnt help i ended up hospitalized near the end of 2023 for internal bleeding) I hadnt even started medication till the end of 2024 for my depression and adhd and shit. Im still facing health problems and have to start therapy but. 2024 wa also when everyone was pushing and pulling me to do something I was not able to handle. I had my therapist and psychiatrist pushing me to go back to school and get my GED (i dropped out bc my mental health was so bad and online schooling was making it worse. I also kept getting into fights w my mom bc of my grades and it. wasnt good.) and then my psychiatrist and so many adults i had seen or talked to trying to push me to get a job (I dont have a car. Ubers are expensive. We are poor and have almost been kicked out several times for not making rent. I cannot physically handle walking for longer than 15 minutes or standing too. If I sit for too long my knees are in so much pain I cant stand i have to stretch them out for at least 5 minutes. Only jobs near me are ones that require physical labor.) And of course. My own anxiety and wanting to help financially but having no real way of doing it.

I was, and still am incapable. All I could do was watch. Things still felt like they were crumbling and breaking and my ability to hold it all together was fracturing and I didnt know what to do with myself. I still dont. I didnt expect to live past 18 and now im 19? What am i meant to do now? I cant picture what i want or should be doing in life. Its all just blank I felt and feel lost.

By this year so far, though, I've come to accept that I cant control everything. Im cracked and a mess and everything around me is holding on by a single wooden beam but I cant control it. Time will go on with or without my permission. I cant just hit a pause button my life, on time. It'll keep moving no matter what and I'm coming to accept that fact. I just have to move with the current, I cant stand still or I'll drown in it and freak out and. yk. Things dont feel so horrible anymore. Maybe this year I'll finally figure out what I want to do, who I want to be or who i AM. Even if I'm anxious I cant stop it all. The world doesnt revolve around me. Anyways that was a lot. Thats been my thought process throughout each version and the reasoning and context behind it. You can also see my art improve which is a fun little thing. Things are both overwhelmingly intimidating yet also calm. I have a printer now, maybe I can finally open a print shop and help with money that way + commissions. I have a plan and that's what matters.