#Bc it's true they're both struggling with life

[adore-gregor]

study smart not hard (altough both is best actually) this saying is so true

[revvnant]

do you guys ever think about the mci.

[goyurim]

“even though im here?” “yes.”

“even when i told you how i felt?” “yes.”

seok ryu's rejection sounds so harsh but it makes perfect sense given how much she thinks loving her is conditional. given the way her parents have always treated her, she's grown up to believe that she cannot allow herself to be a burden, only someone who'll carry burdens for the people in her life. she carries on this belief into her workplace, to the point that people use and abuse her - she only realises she cannot take it anymore when her fiancé's own mental health starts getting negatively impacted by her health issues, which are something completely out of her control.

she says she doesn't need love anymore when she rejects hyeon jun's second attempt at proposing bc she's finally realised that that's what a huge part of love is - being a burden on someone - and she knows hyeon jun is not the type of person who's ready to be on the receiving end of that kind of love right now. what she hasn't realised yet is that not everyone is hyeon jun. or her parents. or her coworkers. but when everyone in your life reaffirms your false beliefs, well, you tend to get biased.

seok ryu's always been there for seung hyo at his lowest. she's always been there for moral support when he had no one else. when she tells seung hyo's coworkers that she practically raised him, it's part bragging, but it's also true from her perspective, she offered him unconditional love like a parent would (like his own parents should have), without ever expecting anything in return. she did it out of the goodness of her heart, bc that's just who she is, that's who she's always been.

but somewhere along the way she convinced herself that that's all she could ever be to him, someone he could rely on. bc he deserves that, to be loved in a way that he could be a burden on her. that's why she refuses his love for her, she even literally calls it imprinting. bc if she didn't offer all that support to him, would he still like her? if the roles were reversed, would seung hyo ever pull seok ryu out of rock bottom? given his quiet and reserved nature? probably not.

but that's not true! at least not anymore! as seung hyo keeps insisting, they're not kids anymore. they're equals now. we see time and time again how attentive seung hyo is to seok ryu's needs, in his own quiet way, how he's always there for her, at arm's length in case she wants to reach out. he knows she's strong and masks her pain with humour, and doesn't like to be seen when she's struggling, so he doesn't offer her his shoulder to cry on. instead, he sits next to her, walks behind her, tries to reach out to her parents and work out issues with them without her knowledge. he's not imprinting on her anymore, he actively takes care of her.

when seung hyo says he loves seok ryu, he loves her in every way she deserves to be loved. she can be both the person who feels fulfilled by carrying people on her back, and also the one who wants to be carried when she gets tired. she can be strong and weak and emotional and mean and angry and sweet and kind and ambitious and funny and loud and quiet and everything she wants to be. he's seen every side of her and he loves every part of it equally.

[pressplay-if]

This new chapter is so real. It made me remember many things i’ve forgotten from my hospital/treatment days. Not in a bad way but hitting quite close to home. One thing I remembered was how our doctors and counselors viewed friendships/relationships between patients. Communicating outside was pretty frowned upon and being in a relationship with another patient would get out kicked out at the very least. Anyway, the part that really hit was the phone call. The effect that continuing these relationships can have when both parties are in different places in their journey. It’s tough because you bond over something heavy something you might hide from others in your life. Something that is a big part of you, something that you struggle with. In a way it’s like you can be your true self. Without having to put up the facade to keep those around from being uncomfortable. It gives the friendship a sort of depth. But we all progress and heal at different rates. It’s not a one size fits all situation when in comes to treatment. I have been in both positions. Being the person stuck while others come and go. Then later having to move on needing to do what is best for me. It’s difficult for both. But hearing about relapses or certain thoughts from a friend. When you have finally found some stability or are close to falling back into old habits. It can be so triggering. Which makes you have to decide. Do I stick with this person who I connected with at my lowest point? When I am so easily reminded of things i’ve barely just moved on from. Or do I let go and focus on the future? It sucks either way. But it does explain why the doctors say what they say about patient relationships. Though I know it’s not like that for every situation. Anyway, sorry for so many words! I probably have more to say but imma chill out. Just wanna say WOW! Loving the story, it’s relatable(maybe I shouldn’t be too proud of that idk) and thought-provoking. Really got me thinking about things which I don’t normally do. And it ain’t actually that bad. Hope my words made sense. Great work👍🌈😃

So this was the first ask about the second chapter that I got and can I just say thank you?? 🙏

I was so nervous and reading this so soon after it came out was so immensely relieving to me. Back where I was, patient relationships didn't get you kicked out, but we did have a couple and everyone kinda knew they were together but refrained from addressing it bc we all just agreed it'd make things way too messy if we did. Even though, literally, everyone knew. Very much an Anthony/Abigail situation haha.

And yes, your words made a lot of sense to me and they're really appreciated. I, too, have been in both positions--- I think it might be a natural part of a lot of people in that "recovering from mental illness" cycle, even if it's a really unpleasant one. You create this bond over sth so horrible, and you understand each other, for as long as you're both suffering. Then when you start to move away from that, life gets easier but the friendship gets complicated. That's my experience, at any rate. I'm really glad to have hit close to home with this bc that's really what I was intending.

[creatingblackcharacters]

hi ice! im sorry that you're dealing with other stresses, please don't feel any pressure to answer this quickly or anything.

im wondering if you have any advice for a Black person overcoming a lot of internalized anti-Blackness? especially pertaining to feeling like a disappointment specifically for being Black (i struggle with feeling like i will ever be attractive to a partner because of it, even if theyre also Black), and presenting in a way that makes me happy (i want to grow out an afro but i get afraid of looking "too Black", same with wearing my durag and similar things). also are there any books that you would recommend for working through that, or even just learning about Black history (reading often helps me to logic myself out of negative thought patterns and feel inspired)?

thank you! sorry if this ask is too complicated/encompasses too much

Hi! Well first, I am sorry that you've lived a life and in a world that reinforces you to hate yourself. You do not deserve that, and I'm proud of you for asking for more, and I hope you one day live a life where you love yourself and recognize how much you deserve.

If it's okay, in addition to some resources, I could give you some pointers that I gained from my own life experience unlearning internalized antiblackness. It's not an easy or short process, and there's plenty of hard truths and happy truths. I am not the sweetest advice giver either, but I promise I mean well:

1. Release the Shackles of Respectability Politics!

I was already starting to really grow into my Black identity by undergrad (my family had at least tried to help me get there through my childhood) but what really cinched it for me was the state murder of Sandra Bland. Sandra Bland was everything "right"- multiple degrees, pretty, educated, in a historically Black sorority, a college educator, a woman who spoke up for justice. Respected in her community! She was everything I thought I was supposed to be!

And the police still captured her, beat her, and murdered her in her jail cell (and lied about it, and potentially posted a picture of her dead body as her mugshot) for the audacity to question them. She's still dead! She still wasn't "good" enough to live!

No amount of being a "good, well-behaved" Black will save you in a society where being Black itself is deemed a sin. So every time you get a thought where "this isn't what society wants" or "I'm embarrassed" or "if I do this, I'll look like a bad-" cut it off! Fuck em! IT'S NOT TRUE! Recognize that you could be the finest, richest person on the street and you'd still be just a n***a in many people's eyes. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Point blank. They don't like you for your racial identity. They can be racist to Barack Obama and Beyonce, and they sure can be racist to you lmao.

It's not about you, you are not the problem! James Baldwin himself once said that racism is the white man's problem. It's not your responsibility to make them "like" you and "not be disappointed", it's their responsibility to respect you as a human being regardless!

2. Take Back Your Autonomy

This ties into the first one. Let's all thank Lil Nas X for this one, bc he did for my bisexuality what I had to do on my own for my Blackness. 🙏🏾

If they hate you anyway, you might as well be your most authentic self 🤷🏾‍♀️

Don't die disappointed because you wanted to reach white acceptance. Don't do it. If they're gonna hate you suppressed, they might as well hate you out loud 🤷🏾‍♀️ it's your life! It's why I don't shut up about racism lmao. You already hated me, now we'll both be uncomfortable and imma speak 🤷🏾‍♀️

So when you wear that durag, or wear your afro, recognize that 1) there are people just like you who love how you look because you look like them, 2) you should love how you look period because you're who matters, and 3) the day I receive a check with an undisclosed amount of reparations on it is the day I'll sit and discuss allowing whiteness to designate how the fuck I'm suppose to wear my hair lmao (and the answer will still be no). 😤

3. Accept that you're worth it

It's going to be hard. Even by wearing your afro, your own natural hair, you are making a statement of pride in your Blackness, and everyone won't understand or respect that. That was one of my first steps in high school, was cutting off all my permed hair and loving my afro. I had to write affirmations that I read daily to love myself, I was so scared. But it was worth it. My hair is healthy and happy. I had to learn brown skin was beautiful. But once I did, I couldn't stop fawning over it, on myself and others.

There are people who live their lives told by society they are perfect. Why do they get to think they're beautiful, and you don't? They're not better than you, yet they can tell you that you should hate yourself. What gives them the right? Who do they think they are? Fight back! Accept that the fight is hard, but you're worth it! Your Blackness is beautiful, and it fought hard as fuck to make it this far- honor that by honoring yourself!

4. Find some community; dive deep into Blackness

This one is self explanatory. You're gonna have to be around Black people that love themselves. Surround yourself with it. Find things they do that you like. Learn to find love in it. It could be creative, political, hell even finding a hairstyles group that shows cute ways to wear your hair. That can be a way to grow more confident and try new things. (All skinfolk ain't kinfolk though, so be aware.) But being around Black people, who care about the same things you care about, and make you feel heard, will help break that... Mind space where you feel alone and wrong. Trust, if I didn't have other Black people on this site, I would go mad from people gaslighting me that the racism I was seeing wasn't real. You need some more of us around you that reinforce your love for us, and yourself.

Here is a long paper discussing internalized antiblackness; you said you like to read lol. It admittedly focuses on Black women, BUT it might also help to use the sources that they cite to go on your own journey regardless! You could also just surround yourself with bloggers and beautiful poems and Black creations. There's beauty in all of it, you gotta let yourself find it.

I hope this helps 🙏🏾

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/768756274786631680/what-are-some-less-gendered-ways-of-talking-about?source=share you didn't answer this ask, but i (not anon) kind of wish you had because i know you've talked before about the broad patterns you've noticed in terms of communication among AMAB vs. AFAB people, regardless of their actual genders. and i was wondering if you had suggestions in general for how one can talk about that and other gendered-socialization broad patterns (not universal - i'm a cis woman who had a more "male" socialization in some ways along some of these parameters, just bc of who my parents were, and obviously gendered socialization varies a lot from culture to culture) without suggesting that trans women aren't women or trans men aren't men. i get that terfs have completely poisoned the discourse by using socialization to suggest that trans women lack some Essential Universal Female Experience (TM), but i feel like someone should be able to talk about how socialization affects people without using it to invalidate their identity. and before people point out that a lot of trans people don't have a typical AAB gender socialization because they always know that they're their true gender - yes, i know that. but plenty of trans people don't know they're trans until later in life, too. that's not a universal. nothing about socialization is a universal, but there are broad patterns. it also requires you to consciously recognize particular aspects of your socialization as "male" or "female." i have a lot of trans female friends who have talked about how certain ways they talked and acted that they never even registered as "female" were things they were rewarded for pre-transition and punished for after. also, it just feels like denying reality to ignore that some trans people continue to act in patterns that correspond to assigned-at-birth gender socialization even when they figure out their identity, especially early in transition. it's not like the realization comes with a magic pamphlet. i feel like most people who've had sufficient trans friends have noticed that some newly out trans women are still a bit mansplainy toward other women (both cis and trans), for instance. and i've noticed in spaces that are heavily AFAB, there's a big premium put on communicating with extra attention to everyone's emotions and a tendency to judge people more harshly for being blunter or more matter-of-fact and not constantly checking in on feelings, and IME there hasn't been any distinction between cis women vs. transmascs in terms of who enforces that the hardest. And as an autistic cis woman who struggles with that stuff, some of my biggest defenders were trans women. to be clear, I don't think that this anon should go around using terms that reference socialization to this trans women they know. but it also just seems weird to act like you don't think that that could've played any factor in why this person's behavior is reminding you of the way cis men have talked down to you!

--

I didn't have a good answer for them because when I talk about it, I do put it in terms of AFAB and AMAB.

I think it's far easier to talk about this in generalities than to address a specific friend.

People usually freak out or blow their tops when forced to notice that their behavior patterns resemble those of some group they don't like or don't want to belong to. It's true of trans women upset that they're not fitting in socially due to talking down to people and not understanding a bunch of unspoken social rules about being the feelings babysitter. It's true of ex-fundie types when they're told that their nominally pro-queer but toxic views still stink of the bad flavor of Christianity. It's true of women who think of themselves as feminist but who pull NLTOG crap, nominally pro-trans fans who engage in the fujocourse, US freshman year socialists who wouldn't know socialism if it bit them on the ass, etc.

Nobody likes being told that their stated ideals and/or identity clash with their actual behavior. You can say it in ways that are less "You're a man, hur hur", but it's only going to hurt a little bit less.

True, you can try to address it in complete isolation and just say "When you did X, I felt like you were assuming I'm an idiot instead of wondering if I had already looked up those statistics rather than guessing." (If I had a nickel for every time some dude looked up said statistics and then was shocked, shocked to find out that my "guess" was backed up with data...) That might work for a limited set of specific situations with a friend.

But even with a friend, if the pattern is constant and widespread and highly gendered, it's going to be hard to talk about it without referring to unconscious assumptions that exist in society along gendered lines. Mansplaining is often not really different from autistic nerdsplaining. (Let's be real: every member of every one of my social circles is bad about lecturing.) But a lot of "Why am I not gelling with this group?" stuff really is hard to talk about without this element.

There are also things that a person can easily absorb from the culture around them—like the massive quantities of body hate imposed on women—but there are others that usually come from an active teaching process. A lot of the feelings babysitter stuff is the latter. Learning to constantly monitor and manage the social scene is a pain in the ass, especially for the sorts of nerdy weirdos I know and am. Those hard-won skills didn't come from knowing we were women internally (if we even did think that): they came from family members very actively rewarding and punishing specific behaviors based on perceiving us as women. And because these learning processes are a pain in the ass, people who didn't have that inflicted on them in the past (or who weren't able to learn it back then) often don't go out of their way to conform as adults. That's the piece that I find most often creates drama around who's acting enough ~like a woman~ in some social space. Maybe this would be different if I mostly knew super socially savvy people, but I mostly know awkward nerds.

As you say, female social expectations are not kind to the cis autistic woman either.

[melrosing]

I really want sansa to meet brienne to see what she thinks of her. both bc she’ll meet the “true knight” she’s been praying for :’) and also bc brienne will challenge her views of women’s role in society. but what do you think brienne would think of sansa ?

yes i'm really looking forward to it too! I think I wrote something about this a couple years ago but their stories click together in such a sweet way.

Sansa entered the world thinking that beauty = virtue, and received such a harsh awakening that she's unsure whether there is any goodness left in the world. and Brienne has likewise insisted to herself that there is, and yet finds it's not always enough to defeat the horror of it all. I think in TWOW she's going to find herself in a similar position to a young Jaime, feeling somewhat nihilistic. I like the idea that their oath to Catelyn ultimately saves both Jaime and Brienne from this outlook - they both mean to see it fulfilled, no matter how bad things get.

so Sansa and Brienne kind of find each other at precisely the right time. Sansa is falling deeper into Littlefinger's machinations and losing sight of who she is, in the midst of all he wants her to be. life isn't so much a song anymore, but something more cynical. meanwhile Brienne is finding that the world is so much darker that she'd believed, and that good intentions aren't enough to save it.

but i think they can save each other in a way that noone else really could! where Brienne and Sansa have reminded Jaime and Sandor respectively that true knighthood exists, they're now at a point where they can remind one another of that.

Sansa will see again that true knighthood doesn't look as she once thought it did, but that it nonetheless exists. I think that through getting to know Brienne, she might also feel closer to Arya, realising that the differences between them aren't so great a chasm. Brienne's chafing with society might remind her of her sister too, and help her consider a different perspective so that there's a new openness when they meet again. and also I really really want Brienne to be able to tell Sansa how much Catelyn was thinking of her and how badly she wanted to be reunited.... like Sansa hasn't received any true empathy for the loss of her mother, and now here's Brienne who has mourned Cat herself and can offer true comfort to Sansa.... i cry

and then for Brienne's part, I really want Bri to have the satisfaction of knowing that she's fulfilling her oath to Cat, that she wasn't a fool to believe she could, and that in so doing she's found a girl who, though outwardly very different, is a lot like Bri herself. they both love songs and knights and want to believe the world is kind, and they can prove to each other that it is. and also Brienne has often experienced contempt from other girls and women (Cat was one of the few who didn't treat her with such), so I think it'll be nice for her to have a meaningful relationship with a new female character, and to feel accepted and respected by that person. idk I just feel like Sansa represents so much closure for Brienne and that they can really fortify each other.

that said I do think they'll initially be very confused and sceptical of each other lol, like Sansa is in disguise and has had to ally herself closely to Littlefinger, so she's going to struggle to open up to a stranger, much less go off with them. and Bri's going to wonder who the hell Alayne Stone is and also... apparently she's fine here in the Vale? i imagine lots of miscommunication where maybe Brienne has come all this way only for Sansa to be like... you can leave I have this under control.

but Brienne knows who Shadrich is so I imagine she can prove herself to Sansa by taking him out in some kind of mini boss, and then we know that GRRM's notes for AFFC said that Sansa will resolve at the end of her Vale arc to be Sansa Stark, and take the North. so can imagine Brienne helping her to return home, and secure Winterfell. the North will have lost the figurehead they'd believed to be Arya (but who was ofc Jeyne), who had kind of rallied them together... and I think Sansa's return will be where they find a new one out of left field. the kid they considered lost to the south, but who is returning north, maybe with the might of the Vale to help secure it once more. idk.

in any case, I've believed that Brienne and Jaime holding the two halves of Ice represent the fact that they will be helping to secure Winterfell again, and the futures of the Stark children. have said before that I do not see Brienne as a perpetual bodyguard for any Stark kid, but restoring them is a big part of her role for the remaining two books imo. I'd really like to see her meet Arya as well, I think the two will have really great rapport.

anyway that was a long answer but yeah in short. im excited about them.

[woman-respecter]

wait obsessed with your tags on that post (#at the same time we get told we can't make fun of them because there are six whole black people in west virginia). i've never thought about that but it's so true! these rural racists really like to play both sides of the same coin. they're simultaneously all poor working class poc but have also never met a black person. and the message is always you can't judge us or our politics, but we can judge you and yours.

yep, exactly! they are totally tokenizing the few poc who live in their states (and totally suffer unique struggles bc of where they live) but don’t ever have to actually think about racial politics bc they rarely see any. and yet we are told that asking them to examine their ignorance is too much. obviously exposure to poc in ur daily life doesn’t make u automatically more progressive and accepting but it sure helps!

[rayroseu]

Some Crowley and Lilia Parallels(?)

?? am i reaching here but doesn't "Crowley searching for a way for Yuu to go home" similar to "Lilia searching for a way for Malleus to hatch"?lol

like they both travel to far away places to search for clues to solve their younglings' problem and both Malleus/Yuu are frustrated whenever they're gone for their travels, Crowley/Lilia can't find a logical explanation why they're taking so long solving their problem too (like how Lilia foolishly trust wishes to make a dragon egg hatch bcs its just impossible to find another dragon and how Crowley seems like he's being lazy because he truly doesn't know how to transport a human back to another world) even though they're the person best suited to solve Malleus/Yuu's problem (crowley being the manager of orientation so he definitely must know(?) where the students came from and lilia being the only person Meleanor told that he'll hatch Malleus) also both of them are quite detached by how much Malleus/Yuu depends on them (by that i mean they leave them alone too much and lack communication with them even though theyre the person who took them under their wing)

They also have a habit of surprising people by falling from the sky (like Crowley's animation during special lessons and how Lilia always appears upside down to scare people)

and the difference between their serious and goofy personality is striking (like General Lilia with his mean attitude and deep voice vs Peepaw Lilia and then Prologue Crowley w his ominous vibe and again deeper than usual voice vs Weird Headmage Crowley).

Also idk if this means anything but they're also the characters with the most unique voices in-game, and im unsure about this too but i think their speech patterns both uses old english phrases yet still maintaining a modern pattern (to fit with the youths yk) and they both have "groups of bats/crows" surrounding them and serving as their only motif-- which makes me think both of them have familiars????

also both of them have "minimal magic usage"..... Crowley really doesn't casts any magic atleast in-game (but in other TWST media Crowley casts basic magic) and we know how Lilia is losing his magic because he exhausted it for hatching a dragon egg- Both of their (potential) twisted Disney characters (Bat goon and Diablo/Diaval) have a role in searching for Aurora too (I remember the Bat goon and co. was originally the ones tasked to search for Aurora but he failed so the task was passed to Diablo instead, and Diaval bcs he discovered that King Stefan had a daughter which raged Maleficent in the live action-)

I'm pertaining that if Crowley is Levan,,,, then these similarities would point out to the fact that [Lilia and Levan were always together](than Meleanor did) to the point where they kind of adapted each other's qualities, even if centuries pass-- Also TWST likes mirroring the "knights" of this game (i.e Silver and Sebek, Deuce and Ace), Lilia and Levan were Right and Left Generals (knights), so it kinda explains why they're having similar struggles and similar life pattern(?) (like babysitting an unprecedented child amidst their independent life and being hit with an important problem that is "impossible to solve")

so In conclusion?? did Meleanor cursed her generals to be eternally struggle babysitting troubled children?? XD

totally reaching here-- if Crowley is Levan and his life truly is similar to Lilia's,,, then then does that mean he cut his hair like Lilia's ???? 😳 bcs think about it,,,, all the Briar Valley characters we got has long hair (Meleanor, Baul, and Gen. Lilia) so does that mean if we do get a reveal of Crowley/Levan,,, we'll see Crowley with a longer hair as Levan- ✨🙏

If that's true,,, atleast Levan's hairstyle as Crowley wasn't a chaotic job like Lilia's,,,, LOL it kinda matches their description that Levan is more prim and proper KDHWKHD atleast as Crowley, Levan is actually attempting fashion instead of randomly matching whatever like Lilia 😭 also didn't Crowley had a tangent about his very specific food taste when asking for souvenir(GloMas Event)?? which hits the nail about Lilia's complaint about Meleanor and Levan being picky eaters lol

[flipfliqyaoi]

Kicking my legs thinking about Hear Today Gone Tomorrow.... I need to talk about it

It is one of the TWO moments where Mondo lets us see how Flip & Fliq perceive eachother in a singular episode and it's so special to me gangg sigh(1 is this & 2 is Double Whammy except that one's special bc dude tried to fucking OD so they were just both tweaking the fuck out n well. Not sober, so)(more on that in some other yap sesh).

Over on Flippy's POV, where he's snoozing and dreaming of flying on an Alicorn, whilst outside there's like an earthquake sounding equivalent of alarms & sirens blaring from Lumpys house — when his subconscious mind registered those external triggers straight into his dream, it translated into Fliqpy chasing and slaughtering him with a helicopter with malicious intent, the LITERAL opposite of what Fliqs true intent is. (which is protecting the Host from dying), its also the first time he really acknowledged Fliqs existence (at least onscreen) AND ITS HIM FEARING FLIQ. THAT HE'S TRYING TO RUIN HIS LIFE AND HUNT HIM DOWN IN HIS DREAMS FOR SPORT. WHEN THATS NOT THE CASE. CRIES.

Meanwhile Fliq got shoved to front the moment they woke up (from the nightmare and not the actual sounds. which is rly funny that they made world's heaviest sleeper a consistent trait of his.. my seeper... my eepiest) (check Easy For You To Sleigh, but tbf he also woke up from a literal cookie crumb falling. I believe it's because they're used to ignoring loudass sounds like bombs and missiles flying by when they're getting some shut-eye but their ears are trained to alert the brain when there's very subtle sounds bc maybe someone is sneaking around and trying to capture them or smth, because they've been held hostage and tortured(?) before, as the flashback had shown in Easy For You To Sleigh) (another note why the fuck does he have so many sleepy scenes). When he start trying to kill Lumpy and pull the same fucking helicopter that was in the dream out his back pocket, upon chasing him, WE GET TO SEE FLIQ REACTING EMOTIONALLY TOWARDS FLIPPY WHEN HE SAW AN ALTERNATE VISION OF THAT DREAM WHERE FLIPPY WAVED HELLO TO HIM RLY CUTELY... guys he literally cried he literally teared up from just that he just wants Flippy to gaf abt him aswell soooo so badly it twists and pains him from the inside out that Flippy is scared of him. And it caused him to switch out IN THE MIDDLE of piloting that helicopter which could've been dangerous for Flippy (and it was they legit died in the next scene LOL) gang he switched out knowing he could be endangering Flippy to that situation. But honestly they're doomed either way bc Fliq got distracted and deviated from how he usually does his job and it fucked him up lowk so he had to switch out anyway

it puts into perspective how misunderstood both sides of this areee. Fliq wants Flippy to trust and care about him too and maybe get SOME nice acknowledgement after everything they've been through for so long but his form of protecting scares him away because it hurts his other friends anytime a trigger occurs. Which makes hanging out or celebrating or befriending w other people really fucking difficult cuz of his uncontrollable and hypersensitive PTSD triggers (check Party Animal, Hide n Seek, & This Is Your Knife). Which makes Flippy lowk be afraid and hate him more for it. for his protectiveness. sighs exasperatingly

THIS IS ALSO WHY Flaky's friendship with Flippy is soso so so interesting too because it's been hinted that they've known eachother and are friends for a consistent amount of time enough that Flaky is deadass the only character that acknowledges/KNOWS of his problem (check Without A Hitch), to the point where they get easily paranoid of Flippy suddenly going out his way to genuinely kill them....which, combined with their anxiety issues is NOT a good mix!! Yet they're still seemingly long term friends with Flippy bc im pretty damn sure they feel really bad that he's struggling this much and they just wanna be there for him (with caution lol, they're the only character that's aware of the dangers before it happens, check Party Animal [again] and literally any other time they've been hesitant to do anything, genuinely the best character to befriend Flippy because of how careful they are when it comes to interacting with people so um yeah!!!) (I also dislike when people portray Flaky as not being able to defend themselves bro have u seen them shank a literal shard of glass into Flippy's eye the moment they thought they were getting hurt by him. Along with boundaries like they know how to set them gang i swear!! pinkie promise!!!)

This friendship is mutual as also shown in Double Whammy where Fliq instantaneously switches out the MOMENT Flaky started screaming, and Flippy switches in!!!!! That does not happen with any other character that start yelling infront of Fliq/Flip!! Also Party Animal when Flaky exploded like a balloon it was the one thing that for some reason snapped Flippy in front too LMAO?? But yeah it happened twice and it was both Flaky so idk gang it must mean something right. :3333

Urrm yep!! Yeah I'm done yapping for today WAHOO >3<💚

[ghostlynimbus]

CW: long rambly rant. Written on my phone. Not sure how coherent this is

Ah that post about Jonathan reminded me of the time that, in response to a post I made talking about Joyce's role in Jonathan's parentification, someone tried to excuse it by being like "they're poor!"

And like I get it to some extent. Poverty is likely a very big part of what leads Joyce to the actions she takes wrt this subject. So many things are easier when you are not poor. Including mental health care for yourself and childcare for the kids.

But she still played a part in Jonathan's parentification. And that is still abuse.

If a parent can't feed their child, the reason may very well be poverty. But the end result is still that the child isn't fed, and not feeding a child is abuse regardless of the why.

It's the same with parentification.

I think part of the problem with this subject is that some people are just not ready to contend with the idea that a person or character can be good and loving and care, and still abuse someone they love and care about. That sometimes a person/character can make the best decisions and take the best actions that they are capable of in the moment, and it's still not good enough. That sometimes the best they can manage is still bad.

I do not doubt that Joyce loves Jonathan. We see that, at least a bit in season 1 (and I'll blame the show's shitty writing/directing on why that isn't carried through consistently with the rest of the show).

I do not doubt that Jonathan volunteers for some of the stuff he does. He clearly loves his mom and brother. We see that again and again. He knows the family is struggling. He takes responsibilities sometimes that are not asked of him because he wants to help the people he loves. We see examples of this in the show.

But he still should not have to. He shouldn't be picking up any extra hours he can get bc he is worried about the family's bills. He shouldn't be the one arranging his younger brother's funeral.

These are things that he volunteers for, no one tells him he has to do them. In fact arguably Joyce tells him not to. But they are still the, more indirect, results of him having responsibilities put on him that he should have never had to bear.

In a flashback, we see Jonathan comforting and distracting Will while their parents are arguing in another room. Though we don't see the lead up to this, it seems unlikely that this was something asked of him and more likely this is something that Jonathan volunteered for. Because he cares about Will. He is still acting in the role of a parent here, and being responsible for things he should not be responsible for.

We see time and time again with this show that the combination of the family circumstances (external pressures), and Jonathan's love for his family (internal pressures), continue to put him in situations where he feels he has no choice but to step up and be responsible for things he shouldn't have to be. Because he doesn't have the support needed to be able to trust that an adult will do what needs to be done if he doesn't.

And to attempt to wrap up the subject of Joyce...

Abusers are not all irredeemably and unforgivably evil. A person who was abused recognizing that their abuser didn't intend to hurt them and is just a person with flaws and/or unfortunate circumstances doesn't make them wrong or weak or still under their abuser's control and a character doing those things is not necessarily bad writing.

Joyce intentionally or not put parental responsibilities on to Jonathan and created and maintained an environment where he felt like he had to step up to responsibilities that never should have been his bc he couldn't trust the adults in his life to do what needed to be done.

Joyce loves Jonathan and tried her best given her capabilities and the circumstances. Joyce's best was not good enough and she abused Jonathan.

These statements can both be true.

[butcharium]

Gym updates:

° I am actually..... enjoying this..? Especially strength training makes me happy! I've had the complete sicko sequence of thought and actions being "wow I feel so shitty today maybe I should work out that will help" - then actually gone to the gym - and it works

° I'd still rather eat glass than do running for any extended period of time tho, running does NOT spark joy for me

° I signed up with a PT, we actually work really well together and I feel like she gets me AND she's a fellow pcos girlie!! (Well that's actually maybe why she gets me)

° some of you might remember back in January (?) I met an older butch4butch couple at the gym and womaned up enough to ask for help with bench press! Well I've met them again!!! We randomly met at a market and they invited me to sit down with them and have a coffee!!!! And it was really nice!!! They also told me what days they go to HIT&strength classes at the gym but the one time I've been able to fit it into my own schedule neither of them were there and also I hated the class rip. Sometimes I do pass one or both on my way in and out of the gym tho which is always nice!

° I listen to the original Sherlock Holmes stories on audiobook, and keep this as a treat reserved for the gym. Now I only have a few short stories left! I loved these stories as a kid and would rummage through flea markets to find translations. Now I listen in English and they're just really funny and interesting and have made working out more enjoyable! Idk what to do when I finish tho. I guess I'll have to stop going to the gym or maybe just start from the top again.

° the sauna is currently out of order which is making the dip into the small cold pool after workout slightly less enjoyable. But I've been promised that it shall be back and running by next week (not true the other times I've been told this) but I hope that's the case bc I Love the Sauna, and I enjoy that there's a space where you can just be naked and introverted with strangers (or on your own).

° net positive in my life! I think it is contributing to my being a bit more up-beat and energized, or at least less tired, in my day to day life. I am one who needs structures, but I struggle with implementing them, and the gym has actually been one of the few things I've been able to keep up, and it helps me structure my week!

°EDIT: how could I forget?? My knees are doing much better!!!

(I still appreciate any tips any of you would have regarding the gym or exercises or experiences etc!!)

[spinnysocks]

random lion guard outlanders hc's! :3

under the cut because Long Post time :D

after the defeat of scar and jasiri becoming queen, she reformed and reconstructed the volcano. her clan (but mostly her) remade it into a more positive space where the outlanders could meet. jasiri makes everyone go to a mandatory summit there lmao

while she's working on it she tells all of the outlanders they can go there anytime to talk to her, but everyone's either too full of pride or don't know her well enough at that point to do so lol. eventually some of them suck it up. no matter the past, jasiri strives to become friends with all of them, not just their queen. she's sweet

i feel like after janja's clan joins jasiri's, janja might still want an important role, but boy does everyone know it's not gonna be lead hunter or anything lmao. i actually feel like he'd be a real good caretaker/pupsitter while most of the clan is out hunting, but he does enjoy patrolling around their territory and the outlands every now and then despite basically being banned from hunting lmao

i saw from a hc from a post once (can't find it atm) that mzingo joins jasiri and janja in hunting! i think that's cute because it's like a 'raven helping wolf for the benefit of both' dynamic. i love jasiri and mzingo's alliance/friendship so much. i'd even go as far to say what mzingo is to jasiri is a bit like what zazu is to simba, except mzingo still has his parliament to care for so he's not always around. but still

this one may be a tiny bit ooc... but i think it'd be so funny if jasiri forced the henchmen & goigoi to make a 'Sorry For Plotting To Eat You' party for thurston. it's funny bc he's still completely oblivious like, "but you DIDN'T eat me, right?" and they just choose not to remind him that the guard had to save him from them 💀 even funnier that it's barely a party and more of a formal apology yet he still has a good time

the skinks, ushari, sumu and kenge are their own friend group. they all say they hate one another, but they care about each other more than anyone :)

each of them used to live in different spots all over the outlands but then they all ended up living the cave(?) equivalent of Right Next Door, likely after scar was destroyed and the outlands reformed. njano is the sorta guy to walk into any of their homes uninvited in the middle of the night and ask if they're awake bc shupavu ain't gonna put up with her roommate's late night questions/antics lmao

since the crocs are... not the best at showing their true feelings, every month or so kiburi and his float bring a big catch to the other outlanders as a sign of their alliance... and also to show off a bit. for the hyenas, jackals and vultures who live primarily off of small things, it's like the equivalent of a massive turkey dinner. the crocs used to just Straight Up Leave as soon as they gave the food, but they're learning to stick around

in fact staying for those 'dinners' was how tamka came up with the idea to get something out of his passion for acting. he notices madoa, reirei and goigoi struggling with wema, tunu, dogo and kijana. he's like, "hey, wait... if we're bringin' them food for bein' nice... maybe i can get somethin' in return for entertaining the little ones!" and thus, from that day on, he became a pup sitter!

and you know what? he's actually really good at it! the pups can't tell/don't really care whether he's "acting" or not, cause tamka is the best climbing frame they've ever had in their LIFE. credit to @devilsrecreation once again for inspiring this, especially of tamka giving piggyback rides! i imagine nduli kinda gets in on the fun of entertaining the kiddos too while kiburi and neema glance at each other from the sidelines wondering how they got to this point of their float playing with pups 😭

i imagine at some point a river that runs the small amount of water that goes into the outlands suddenly stops, and jasiri brings like everyone with her to go find out what happened. most of them are pretty reluctant to leave the outlands at all, but they can't survive without the water for long, especially the crocs. so they're all forced on this big trip for their survival. i guess this would be the outlanders version of 'the journey to the tree of life'

in reference to this au, nduli leads the way as shenzi is guiding him! i like the idea that because the outlands are all kinds of animals- especially with a hyena in reign- he has the ability to see and talk to other species that are ghosts, or whatever mufasa is lol. ghost shenzi just shows up whenever she wants instead of nduli 'summoning' her and gives the most vague directions ever before she peaces out again. it drives nduli and jasiri into complete confusion and frustration about where the heck they're going lmao

also they're like halfway through the journey before janja even realises nduli is literally talking to his mom. it's probably a pretty bittersweet moment when nduli successfully summons shenzi so that she can talk to janja and the hyenas. banzai and ed greet them too :)

despite everyone's grumbles they get the water back, with many of them having to save one another from various perilous things, cuz bonding lol. i imagine they all get to put their skills to use too. also we all know the skinks would have to be saved the most cuz they're tiny little instigators

expect more of these. every time i think i'm done with all my ideas another one pops into my head lol

[allthecastlesonclouds]

i am thinking about your dance au. it has lived in my brain rent free always. love it. so good.

i am also always thinking about them. i'm so glad you're also enjoying them and i'm taking this as a prompt to make more of it (i want to so bad)

if the teacher has to leave the classroom, they'll most often put kristen or adaine in charge. with adaine everything goes fine. with kristen it's chaos incarnate that somehow (*riz) turns into them being productive by the time the teacher comes back

the kristen-and-fig combo has gotten at least 4 teachers fired.

they're not always trying to, but they pretty often are

fig specifically gets A Lot of spotlights in dances because she can be very Loud and Personable, but she has also had these spotlights taken away many times (she simply begins improving shit)

she got a solo this year because aguefort was a little bitch, knew gorgug wanted a solo, and so offered it to his best friend instead of him

ayda did not know this was her father's reasoning.

she just thought if was because fig's a good dancer (she is)

fabian and fig are The Flexible Ones™ and aren't. vocal about it, but they certainly aren't subtle, either. teachers have had to tell them to not make their splits too good.

riz is also pretty flexible, but his stature makes it less obvious. when your friends are all at least 2 feet taller than you your grande battement doesn't look as good.

fabian drags fig in early one day and asks her to do some improv with him bc he wants to try out for a swing dancing tournament, they have the time of their life.

gorgug and ayda often practice two different dances in the same room at the same time.

adaine and riz are the best technically, but they do struggle a lot with the acting part of it. walking into a class you'd expect the most awkward to be gorgug, but they were both trained on ballet-smile-fixed-on-your-face-at-all-times and so any acting at all is. extra practice for them

speaking of gorgug he's so quietly good. he can act and he knows the steps and he has good balance and good flexibility so. he's just good. but he's not loud about it, and the teachers don't often point it out

he writes the steps down before practicing throughout the week

riz makes tutorial videos for kristen (or for anyone if they miss a class) to help her learn and remember the steps. he says he likes doing it. nobody's 100% sure on that's true. (including him)

aelwyn and baron dance at the same studio (across town)

penelope originally danced at both and then she had a little scandal where she was blackmailing a teacher and she couldn't dance at either bc her father couldn't pay aguefort to cover it up

aelwyn starts working at aguefort's but refuses to teach anyone besides the ages 9-13 because "they're little shits and i need someone to tell me just what they're thinking, adaine."

zayn is inexplicably sometimes where ayda is. they're never in the same place at once but zayn just. appears. when ayda needs/wants to go do something and rawlins for some reason isn't there.

garthy runs an swing dancing studio that is also a pole dancing studio! bob does swing dancing trixie does pole dancing

[olderthannetfic]

wait i’d love to hear yr thoughts about tony hillerman bc i grew up in new mexico (and still live here lol) & always thought he was just like normal pulp mystery

--

Normal pulp mystery with ten thousand digressions to talk about clouds and rocks. Hahaha.

IDK, do we use "pulp" like this now? (Genuine question.) His mystery style was fairly standard for the cozy end of mystery publishing if we mean not hardboiled, not police procedural, etc. rather than the cozy mysteries that are actually cozy with their cat-themed bookstores and such.

When I was a kid, my mother was obsessed with one day moving to Santa Fe, so for holidays, instead of seeing family, we'd go there. She had another phase where she was convinced she'd move to Orcas Island one day where, again, we spent holidays up around Seattle repeatedly. In both cases, there were things that happened to be culturally big at the time and easy to find that were also connected to local indigenous stuff.

What makes Hillerman interesting is that, despite being a white guy, he focused a lot on the Navajo reservation. It probably doesn't seem like much of anything if you're from that part of the world, and there are certainly some inaccuracies in the books that he himself would talk about in subsequent forwards, but they were a highly accessible introduction for someone who'd otherwise have had no reason to know about anything like that. I don't think that's so true now with more media on the scene, but this was the 90s at the height of his popularity (and of the series actually being good).

The thing is, they are normal mysteries. That's what made them work: people who didn't have a reason to care about the setting or particular political struggles bought them because they bought mystery novels in general. And then there was some other stuff in there too, but mostly, they're just fun genre fiction. One thing they did that I can't recall any other 90s media with a thousandth the reach doing was depict Indigenous characters who don't know that much about other indigenous cultures. There are a couple of books where the Navajo leads have to deal with Hopi stuff, and it's very clear these are different people with different communities. That sounds so incredibly small and obvious, but these books were sold in airport bookstores all over the country to an audience that knew literally nothing.

As for the books themselves, I like all the contemplative noodling about the landscape and the sense of place. That's something I often like in a mystery novel, especially one set somewhere I don't live.

The characters are compelling aside from their romances, which are horrendous. (Leaphorn has a wife who is a nonentity until she dies between books of something stupid, and then she comes up endlessly as the love of his life. Chee is a moron who makes bad choices and forces us to hear about them at great length.)

There's a bunch of archaeology stuff in some of the books, and I was a kid obsessed with archaeology. Honestly, our understanding of, e.g., Ancestral Puebloans is way different than it was in the 70s when some of these books came out, but it was still interesting stuff.

The adaptations now... Robert Redford bought the rights an eon ago and has been trying to make fetch happen ever since. One of the attempts was a set of three tv movies for PBS's Mystery! They hired Chris Eyre and unfridged Leaphorn's wife. There's a lot more humor relative to Hillerman's often rather gloomy style. And I am weak to buddy cops, to age gap with obnoxiously over-enthusiastic younger parties, and to OT3s.

[mooglestiltzkin]

finished cursed princess club!!!! SO wholesome!!!

-imo, i still really like all the arranged marriage ships, so my headcanon is that even if the engagements are broken, they get back together at a later date anyway, once blaine resolves his issues and maybe visits a certain monastary. i do think lorena/lance/suzie happens.

-i still don't really like leopold/jamie as a ship? i really tried, and i just... don't see it working out, even if i like jamie falling for leopold! i still can't figure out why i don't like leopold returning those feelings??? all of princesses' romances had such fun manic energy to them, but that was also them finding common ground... whereas jamie's fun manic energy kind of just... worked negatively on leopold, so from leopold's perspective, yeah, i can see him loving jamie as a friend, but more than that, i'm just... not convinced.

-i'm still v. surprised that leland didn't declare his unrequited love for jackie tbh??? to me, he's been in love with jackie for such a long time, marrying isolde only because jackie/lilyth were going to get married too. whatever, i'm still v. charmed by them, and i think they could work it out after some relationship councilling or whatever, what's a couple of revenge schemes among friends and potential incest implications with the whole plaid/pastel marriages happenings.

-i imagine prez/whitney get back together. he may not be rich, but she bears him four children anyway, and they're beautiful together.

-not sold on aurelia/cronis. i liked aurelia's redemption storyline, and her reading the diary when prez told her not to. but... didn't care about her dating life. i do kind of wish she had more panels with her bestie tho.

-monika/orson cute as hell!

-thought i was going to get some syrah/saffron declarations of love, and well... so sad that didn't happen!!!!! oh well, at least i get them both admitting that they had crushes on each other at different points of the story!

-loved the witch having a friendship with lilyth!!!!! so cute!!!!!

-lobsters are eternal in their love for each other!!!!! super adorable that he went and got himself cursed too bc he missed her so much!!!!

-i do love that gwen is gwen's true love. she broke the curse. she learned to love herself whole again. and sure, she has days that she struggles, but... she is surrounded by people she loves.

-i'm so glad bozart did nothing wrong in his life, ever. and went on to live happily ever after with his clown posse.

-i love how intricately plotted everything came to be!!! it was so well done!!!

-i'm gonna miss the chaos. it got so chaotic and so fun so quickly!!!

-truer words have never been said with live, laugh, love, laverne.