#Bc everything was soaked in cooking oil

[fightingwithtruelove]

My dad is a jerk, what else is new. 😔

[tatsumessy]

HELLOO HOW ARE YOUU I hope youre open with requests, im obsessed with your writing, could you please do the bllk boys(with sae preferably) finding their s/o in the kitchen baking for them, it was a huge mess (i mean like batter all over the counter, dishes everywhere, ingredients that was spilled) so he tries to help s/o but they refused and when he finally tastes it, it was suprisingly delicous.

Ive been thinking about this for a while now bc i often bake messy id love to see their reaction TvT

THANK YOUU LOVE U SM <3

a/n: I’m doing so great my love 💕 I’m so glad you like my writing, I know I can be self conscious sometimes soooo thank you ☺️

ft: sae itoshi::rin itoshi

if you have any request for just ask, I don’t bite I promise 🤭

sae itoshi

you and sae had been dating for a few years and he’s always treated you like a princess. thankfully his birthday was tomorrow and you wanted to bake some brownies for him. now your oldest sister got the cooking and baking genes but that didn’t mean you didn’t know anything. while sae was taking a shower you were in the kitchen mixing everything together, when you dipped your finger in to taste it, it was lacking flavor. A LOT OF FLAVOR. spitting out the batter in the sink you grabbed your trash bag and threw it away. rolling your eyes you looked at you phone staring at the recipe your sister sent you for the sixth time.

“whatcha doing kitten?” sae asked wrapping his arm around your waist and pressing a kiss on your neck. he glanced down at your phone seeing the recipes then finally took notice to the mess around the kitchen. broken egg shells, flour all over the counter tops, oil on the ground. the kitchen looked like a pigsty but the only thing he was worried about was why you were so upset. “I’m trying to make you some brownies but they just aren’t coming out right.” you whined setting the phone back down in it’s former position. “why?” he asked moving from behind you to grab the bag of flour, sugar, eggs and every other ingredient. “it’s your birthday tomorrow, I just wanted to do something special for you.” his frown disappeared and he stepped away from you and grabbed the bowl full of old batter and cleaned it out along with the other dishes you used.

“what are you doing?” you asked watching him finish with cleaning, “since this is so important to you then I’ll help you with it.” you immediately stopped him and forced him to go do something else while you redid the brownies one last time, if this came out horrible then you’d just give up. once you finished with the brownies you took them out the oven and cut them into squares. sae was sitting on the sofa watching a soccer game when you appeared right next to him with one brownie on a napkin. “here, try it.” he glanced down at the brownie then back up at me, “no.” he resumes the game, you grab the remote and turn the tv off shoving the brownie back in his face.

“please…” he sighed grabbed the napkin quickly taking a bite out of the brownie. sitting there anxious he took another bite and in that second you could see a light blush on his cheeks. “it’s good sweetheart.”

rin itoshi

“why the hell are you destroying our kitchen?” rin spoke walking into the kitchen, and setting his bag on the ground and picking up a batter soaked napkin. “I was trying to make you a cake, and it didn’t turn out the way it’s supposed to look on the box.” you quickly responded accidentally wiping flour in your cheeks. rin unzipped his jacket and threw it on the couch while bunching up his sleeves. “what kind of cake?” he looked at the table then back at you waiting for your response. “Strawberry, your favorite.” rin’s cheeks started to heat up and he turned away covering his face and mumbling curses. “let me help you, you know baking is not your strong suit.” “you are an ass rin. we’ll see if I make you anything else, ass.” you responded throwing down the paper towel and starting to walk out the kitchen, but rin’s grip on your waist stopped you. “okay I’m sorry y/n. I appreciate everything you’re doing for me. just forget about the cake.” you shook your head in agreement and the both of you left the kitchen to spend time with each other.

once rin was fast asleep you quietly got out of the bed to try the recipe once again. granted you messed up three more times but by the time rin woke up in the morning for workouts you just finished decorating the cake. “y/n what the hell. I thought we agree to forget the whole ca-” you shut him up by stuffing a small piece in his mouth. staring at him, you watched him chew and swallow then grab a cup of water to clear his throat. “so? do you like it rin?” he set the cup down then placed both his hands on your cheeks and pulled you in for a kiss, you could taste the remaining cake crumbs in his mouth.

“I love it.” he said pecking your cheek then bidding you goodbye before he left to go workout.

[the-jellicle-duelist]

hello again! this is so stupid but i can't find your mushroom cooking instructions. I think tumblr has blocked the mushroom tag. "mushrooms" works but doesn't get your post. google site:tumblr.com doesn't work. I would have memorized it by now but I can't cook mushrooms as often as I want bc neither roommate will tolerate them. if you give me the Google keywords like the name of the guy who made the method I will find it myself, rn I try and get the julia child don't crowd them advice which isn't the god tier tips u had. or if you find ur post and share again i will literally write it out and stick it to my fridge. never will i rely on tumblr to store essential info like this again, this i vow.

thank u in advance for any help. <333333333

i looked for a bit but i couldn't find this post either (i think it's because i had to change my blog name for ~reasons~) but i will go over it again it's all good i do think more people should listen to me about mushrooms and other things

TL;DR - put raw, sliced or cut mushrooms into a medium hot pan with a couple of TB of water. cook until kind of grey. then increase heat and add butter/oil, and seasoning of your choice. cook until brown and delicious.

SO. cooking mushrooms. if you are sick and tired of cooking mushrooms and they absorb a load of oil and never get brown, then this is the advice you want

the short of it is because mushrooms are neither meat nor vegetable on a molecular level, you have to cook them differently than those things.

the cell walls that compose the mushrooms are sort of like dry sponges; when uncooked, they will absorb everything that is vaguely liquid, until they get full and burst. this is why when you slice mushrooms and put them into a pan, they will just drink any oil or butter in the pan. so, we have to break those cell walls first so they can't absorb anything.

there are a couple of ways you can do this. after you slice/cut mushrooms, you can put them into a medium heat pan and put a tablespoon of water in there, and cook it and move things around until the water is basically gone, and the mushrooms are basically grey. then you can add a little bit of oil or butter, season appropriately, up the heat, and saute all of your mushrooms until they are browned to your liking.

(this works better if you physically remove the mushrooms and then heat up the pan more before adding them back in but you don't have to it will get 95% of the way there just leaving them in the pan)

you can also slice/cut your mushrooms and then put them in a microwaveable dish, lightly covered, and cook them in bursts of 1-2 minutes until you get that grey cooked mushroom look. this is like less good, but does work and it sort of depends on how i feel like doing things and how lazy i feel. after you microwave, you can heat up a pan and cook as normal.

other mushroom tips:

you can wash mushrooms it's fine

if you have a weird mushroom (IE not a button mushroom) one of the best ways to clean them is to just soak them and gently agitate them. they will float and the dirt will fall to the bottom of your bowl

the effort required to over cook most mushrooms is simply herculean and therefore most people never need to worry about this

[cloudycaffeinatedcryptid]

What do you think the comfort activities would be for each counselor? Like if they had a really long or bad day and they just want to decompress at the end of it?

ooooh thank you so much for this <3 this is the perfect break between writing binges & i love this question!! prepare for a lot of headcanons, i had to think about this a lot

Abi - i think she draws, that's pretty canon, it calms her down. i also think she paints when she really wants to zone out & not think (she loves watercolor but she's been experimenting with acrylics lately) & she does a lot of landscape paintings. the only color that usually sits untouched is red. the smears on her fingers bring up bad memories. she also burns relaxing incense & listens to soothing instrumental tracks

Ryan - he listens to his podcast usually, but i think his sister plays piano (she's very good) & she often gets him to sit down so she can teach him scales or beginner songs & it relaxes him. otherwise i can see him settling down in the comfortable chair wedged in the corner of his room with his drawing tablet, lights dim, & just working on some art. occasionally his sis barges in to play her DS on his bed while he does & then they both just exist together in silence

Nick - they give us so little about Nick that i honestly could just say anything about this freak. but i think he gets stoned & watches terrible movies when he needs to decompress. he's seen Llamageddon eight times. i can also see him going for short walks or half-listening to nature documentaries while he cooks

Emma - when she needs to wind down, she love taking hot baths. she has a ton of bath bombs & oils & products, so she lights some scented candles, turns off the lights, puts on some relaxing tunes, & soaks. i also think she learned to sew so she could mend her own expensive clothes, but then she ended up enjoying it, so she sew/embroiders sometimes on the side to relax. she prolly does yoga too

Kaitlyn - she goes for runs, for sure. it's good exercise, builds her stamina, & helps keep her mind off... everything. she likes the early morning runs when it's just chilly enough to barely see her breath & she has a killer playlist for them. her guilty pleasure is rupaul's drag race & so every season you can catch her, fresh out of the shower, in her sweats, mug of coffee in hands & a bottle of wine on the table, pore strips on, enraptured & getting way too intense about the show

Dylan - this mans pops three edibles & opens the NASA website so he can watch space in real time. if he can manage it, he'll lay for hours on the floor with his cat purring on his chest. sometimes he'll watch cartoons or sci-fi shows to zone out, or he'll put on his headphones & try to forget the world. no i'm not projecting

Jacob - he strikes me as the kind of person who considers working out to be relaxing, so he spends a lot of his free time doing that. otherwise i see him being into cheesy rom-coms (altho he'd never admit it) so some nights he makes himself some popcorn, mixes in m&ms, & settles in to watch The Notebook for the tenth time

Laura - she's def one of those ppl who can't go too long without doing something so her "relaxing" time is usually cleaning, animal care - possibly a gamer. she likes staying busy. whenever she actually settles down to relax, it's usually with & bc of Max. they play checkers together & watch movies they can make fun of. they binge criminal minds together. she's not great in the kitchen but she helps Max bake sometimes & she's an expert on the grill. i think she would enjoy taking up gardening if they get their own property

Max - he loves his relaxation time. he bakes, he naps, he definitely would enjoy gardening, but he always relaxes easier when he's with Laura <3 he prolly plays idle video games like animal crossing, he was for sure heavy into pokemon, & he loves cartoons. the most relaxing time of the day for him is 3pm, when he can eat cereal on the couch & watch scooby-doo, & he doesn't need a blanket bc the blinds are open & the sun keeps him warm :)

[foxbirdy]

Absolutely utterly entranced by your traveler's warning comic/poem, and then started scrolling through your entire blog! Sorry bout that like spam lol. You're an incredible artist and seem like such a cool person!! I was curious on three things if you feel like answering: one, do you think you'll ever do prints of your poem, and 2, what's the best hike or trail you've ever been on, and 3, do you have any favorite trail meals or recipes? anyways. off to go make an inaturalist account bc I did not know that was a thing!! Cheers and keep doing you out there!!

🥲 Thank you! This is such a kind message. To answer your questions:

1. Yes, I'm working on getting The Traveler's Warning printed! I'm really touched by how many people have asked for a physical copy. I'm hoping to start taking orders shortly, & mail out a round of copies in late May ♥️.

2. My favorite trail is a tough one - I think if pressed to pick, I'd say the Paintbrush Canyon - Cascade Canyon loop in Grand Teton National Park! That one is a super fond memory for me. Me & some of my coworkers were close to the end of our season, and decided (at about 10 P.M. the night before our day off) that we were going to do it as a day hike because we didn't have enough time off left to backpack it. We started at Jenny Lake, went up the Cascade Canyon trail to Lake Solitude, over Paintbrush Divide, and connected down to the Paintbrush Canyon trail through a skree field. It's got some of the craziest views I've seen in my life!

3. I absolutely do! Chili Mac is obviously a trail worker favorite, but my crew staple was for sure spicy peanut stir-fry! You just assemble your stir-fry ingredients (in frontcountry, maybe this is summer sausage, ramen, and produce! In backcountry it's probably TVP, ramen, and rehydrated veggies) and you make the sauce with a big helping of peanut butter, your favorite hot sauce, whatever cooking oil you have available, a sweetener (honey, sugar, whatever you have on hand), and if you've got it, soy sauce! If you don't have soy sauce, use a generous amount of salt. You want to go light on everything but the peanut butter, and super conservative with the sweetener. You can make the sauce ahead of time, too, and then add it to your soup/ramen/mess when you're cooking! It's a fan favorite. 👍 A tip that is NOT a fan favorite (but is critical knowledge to have) is that if disaster strikes and you don't have a heat source, you can cold-soak ramen for about thirty minutes and it will be soup-able. Somewhere there exists a picture of me eating cold-soaked ramen out of a nalgene, using tent stakes as a chopsticks.

[fox-mulder-gets-pegged]

could you share more about how you cooked those chicken breasts? that sounds good as hell

Absolutely 👌

1. Chicken breasts

2. Fill bowl with lukewarm water and dissolve a good amount of salt in (like a small handful? Trust your cooking instincts Padawan).

3. Place chicken breasts in bowl and make sure they're covered in water. Stick em in fridge and let them soak. I usually do an hour but I've done 15 minutes and it still makes a difference, wouldn't do longer than a few hours tho. This step makes them juicy and well seasoned all the way through so don't skip.

4. Remove breasts after x amount of time, rinse in cool water to remove excess salinity, and pat somewhat dry. Don't gotta get fancy with her.

5. Somewhat optional but I give them a little rub down with olive oil or melted butter if I'm feeling indulgent. It's ok if u prefer to go straight to seasoning but I want my chicken breasts to fuck so I always rub em down. So only optional if you want fuckless chicken.

6. Season! If I'm lazy just salt and pepper on both sides. If I'm feeling sexy I hit em with black pepper, garlic salt, onion powder, and smoked paprika. Which is my go to seasoning mix for everything so there u go free seasoning mix (I add rosemary and a bit of brown sugar if I'm putting it on potatoes).

7. Cook for 15-18 minutes at 450°F. I know some recipes say lower temp for longer but I like getting a firm crust on the chicken and I also want chicken asap. If the breast is thinner then go for like 15-16, if it's thicker go 17-18. We don't do salmonella around here.

8. IMPORTANT let it rest she's tired once you pull it from the oven let the chicken breast sit under some loose tinfoil or whatever for about 5 minutes. If you cut into freshly cooked meat you lose all those juices we flavored so beautifully when brining the chicken and then it'll be dry. So let it rest uncut for 5 minutes.

9. Consume and enjoy, whole process takes like 20 minutes plus however long you spend brining. Keeps well in the fridge too bc it's so juicy.

I like to eat as is, shred for fajitas/stir fry, turn into garlic mayo chicken wraps, or cut up for a salad!

[pirdmystery]

Lestat de lioncourt pls

wow what a normal guy it’s easy to have normal opinions about. i have read the first three tvc books but in general i’m gonna be talking about amc’s interview with the vampire lestat here bc that’s my true love.

first impression — god i don’t even know lol. “what is this guys problem.” (eventually got the answer: he’s french)

impression now — baby princess worst person to ever live, should absolutely be killed as soon as possible, i’d like to carry him around in my pocket and brush his hair

favorite moment — i was gonna say “louwee you’re soaking wet” but i think the actual answer is his “i have a capacity for enduring” speech. somehow both manipulative and 100% honest and sympathetic. and why did he have to look like that while he was giving it. Why

idea for a story — heckling louis while he leads a vampire themed walking tour though the french quarter. i may actually write this

unpopular opinion — lmfao… no i don’t think i will

favorite relationship — i mean loustat is the classic for a reason. and i adore it and it is my favorite. but also man i am so excited to see what the show does with him and nicki… the potential for tragedy is just off the charts… hey sorry about your boyfriend being driven to madness wish we could’ve kept his severed hands for you…

favorite headcanon — this is basically canon but i just love thinking about him going to mundane ass places and waxing poetic about everything he sees. lestat de lioncourt in tj maxx. louwee darling can you believe the assortment of cooking oils they provide here…

ty for the ask 😘

[bunnyboymoobs]

my high-calorie food replacement smoothie

1.5 cups whole milk- fat and protein content

1/2 cup ice cream - fat and carb content.

1 banana - fibre, other carbs, and nutrients

1/2 cup quick oats - powder, soak, or cook prior to use, to allow them to incorporate better. used for fibre content.

1 tbsp Oil - i use canola, bc it's low in saturated fat and not very expensive. used to up fat content.

3 tbsp peanut butter - primarily used for fat. also contains protein.

17g of optimum nutrition's serious mass protein powder - i'm using about 1/20th the recommended volume of this, bc it's designed to be used in large amounts, this protein is very cheap per weight, but won't help much in muscle gain bc of the low protein content. it's a lower protein by volume powder, which is great for me, because i'm trying to gain more fat than muscle. this powder has a lot of vitamins and minerals added to it, which helps me keep a good balance of them when i'm using it for meal replacement. used to slightly up protein content as well as for nutrients.

i just add everything to a blender (making sure to do the protein and peanut butter last), blend, and drink.

this is almost 1,000 calories with the ingredients i use. this plus 1 or 2 meals allows me to break the calories i need easily. sometimes i double it to be almost 2,000 calories.

the proportions used are to prioritise fat (which converts to body fat the easiest), then carbs, then protein (i want to stay around 10-15% of my calories per protein a day, as lower amounts of protein promote fat gain).

i have two primary uses for this smoothie- meal replacement, as i struggle to eat often bc of my chronic pain and adhd, and weight gain. i was using this smoothie for about a month and gained like 2 or 3 lbs.

[eyeliner-and-c1garettes]

My ideal self care Sunday itinerary would be the following:

9:00 wake up and rot on my phone

10:00 drag myself out of bed

10:15 make myself a nice breakfast of sausage, pancakes, eggs, and a hot cocoa

10:40 Take a nice long everything bath/shower. We are talking EVERYTHING! Clarifying shampoo, hair mask, exfoliating every inch of my skin, shaving, a nice fluffy soap, just straight up soaking while listening to classic jazz with strawberries and champagne on the side. Everything is great. The vibes are off the chart.

11:59 everything gets moisturized. Body oil, body cream, facial hair removal, drying my hair only slightly to let my curls hang loose. And then I’m slipping into this set that looks equally cozy and sophisticated:

12:20 I’m ordering sushi. Yes dad, I’m ordering it right to my house. I don’t care how expensive it is. I don’t care if someone knows my address from DoorDash. That’s literally their job. I’m ordering a bunch of salmon sushi and an iced tea latte how I adore it. And it’s coming to my house. And I’m tipping the driver with some holiday snacks as a thank you.

12:40-2:00 I am eating and rotting a bit on the couch watching my favorite show before slinking off to bed for an afternoon nap.

4:30 I wake up from said afternoon nap and have myself a nice earl grey while pondering dinner, and do some writing undisturbed.

5:00 I decide to just eat in for the night with something simple. Probably a nice ramen I can doctor up at home, or maybe a salad, maybe…. Maybe I can do that mussels in white wine sauce and drink half the bottle while cooking and playing my favorite music.

6:30 fine, I’ll do dishes bc future me will regret it. But that’s it. It’s colder at night and darker so I’ll just hole up in my room until midnight and just rot there lol

[pifindsfood]

Chashu Pork for Ramen

https://www.chefslabo.com/post/chashu-pork-japanese-cha-siu-%E3%83%81%E3%83%A3%E3%83%BC%E3%82%B7%E3%83%A5%E3%83%BC

Ingredients

Pork belly (Skin-on) 1kg

Onion 1 each

Green shallot 1 stalk

Garlic 15g

Ginger 15g

Kombu (Dried kelp) 10g

Water 1500ml

Sake 3tbsp (45ml)

Mirin 2tbsp (30ml)

Egg  some

For the sauce

The cooking liquid 400ml

Soy sauce 200ml

Sugar 4tbsp (60ml)

Instructions

Roll chashu

Pat dry the pork with kitchen paper.

Roll the pork as it is.

Roll tight on the corner, then make a simple knot twice.

Go to the other side, and roll few times.

Then keep it rolling to the first side

Make a knot again with the leftover string on the first side.

*You might be able to ask the butcher to do it for you.

So ask them when you buy it! Makes your life easier.

Slow cook pork belly

Put everything in a pot except the stuff on [For the sauce] section.

Pork should be placed skin-side down because it takes longer to cook.

Boil on low-to medium heat. The umami (deep richness) from kombu is actively developed around 60℃ (140°F). So Boil slowly to maximise the time to pass through this temperature range.

Once boiled, take off some scum (Doesn't have to be perfect. It has some flavor too).

Put a lid on. Simmer for 1.5 hour for steak like texture. 2 hours for soft texture like melt in your mouth.

Turn the pork every 30 mins.

Once cooked, chill on a plate for about 10-15 mins.

Caramelise outside of pork

If using a pan, place the pork on a cold pan with some oil. Cook on medium heat until it coloured all the way.

If using oven, drizzle some oil on the skin, then cook it at 220℃ (428F) for 10-15 mins until coloured.

*The oil might splatter with the pan method. So I highly recommend to use oven.

Making the marinade/sauce

Strain the cooking liquid.

Put everything on [For the sauce] section. Boil on high.

Once boiled, turn the gas off. Drop the pork. Baste few minutes. (Here is your photo time!!)

Leave on a plate to chill, then keep them in a zip lock bag or container for overnight.

*The meat absorb the sauce and you not gonna have much left tomorrow.

So I highly recommend to use all the cooking liquid to make big batch of sauce.

It lasts in a fridge up to few weeks,  and you can freeze it too!!

Marinated Ramen egg

Boil water, then add some vinegar.

Gently drop the eggs (Very cold one). cook on medium heat for 7 mins.

Once cooked, chill in iced water, then peel.

Soak in the sauce just like what you did with the pork. Chill overnight.

Ways to eat

Take the pork and eggs out from the bag. Slice the pork to your liking.

Warm up the sauce. You can eat the cold chashu wit it.

If you want hot chashu, sear on a pan or blow torch just for one side.

Serve with warm sauce, and done!

[lesbianwilby]

obligatory 📕📕📕📕📕📕📕 in response (the superior book emoji in my opinion)

in entirely unrelated news i just made ramen with bacon (sounds very american ik)

in my defense i wanted pork broth but all i have is chicken bullion so i soaked cooked bacon into my broth w/ the chicken bullion while cooking, honestly this fucks super hard

also didn't have zuccini so i fried cucumber instead, also fucks hard

i DID have homemade chilli oil tho so i added that too. and mushrooms

i just like talking abt ramen ok, there's a fried egg on top

kk im done share fic ideas please and thank you

god that ramen sounds SO good holy shit..... esp the egg mmmmm eggs r one of my favorite foods i eat them a lot LMAO

okok au time i did already tell u ur hearing ab my pokemon au!! so i kinda have all the gym leaders planned out n everything but what im going to focus on in this is the elite four + champion which is!! boatem :D ill be completely honest i dont have anything down for impulse or pearl YET other than their team types (impulse has an electric type team n pearl has a rock type team) but the other three have a bit of stuff

also!!! every pokemon has a link to an image of them :3 including the ones u almost certainly already know LMAO

grian: he's the ghost type elite four member!! i think this is probs a bit unexpected but 🫶 i tried messing w other types (specifically dragon n flying) n couldn't rly make a team that i felt fully fit him yk?? ill be completely honest im very biased towards ghost types so thats probs part of why i chose this for him LMAO

- dusknoir (my pmd bias has struck. this will not be the last time)

- mismagius

- gengar (look at me and tell me grian wouldn't have a gengar i DARE u)

- sableye (its the pmd bias again)

- dragapult

- altaria (fun fact!! im saving a spot on my emerald team for a swablu to name after him :3 i have a grovyle named after scar n a ralts named after mumbo so far)

• he also has a natu he named professor beak!! the natu is a gift from mumbo :3

• he runs a flying type sanctuary!! he takes in any injured flying type pokemon (usually wild but sometimes pokemon released by their owners, usually ones that were harmed by careless trainers + abandoned by other pokemon but sometimes other cases happen) n he cares for them in a sorta rehab program

• reason 4 ghost: he weirdly attracts them?? nobody's sure why but he never fights any of them off n actually welcomes them.. he regularly has a group of sinisteas and a polteageist following him <- i could totally come up w a reason as to why he attracts them n i have some ideas

• while he did go out + catch his team they r all still very closely bonded to him (except altaria who was from the sanctuary, it was released by a trainer n was already pretty powerful n it bonded to him thru care n basically like forced itself onto his team LMAO)

• professor beak does not fight but he does go w grian everywhere. its rare to see grian w/o any ghost types ANYWHERE but u NEVER see him w/o professor beak

mumbo: he's the psychic type CHAMPION! yeah mumbos the champion 😎 originally i considered having there be no champion bc i couldn't choose but then i was like "wait a sec .mumbo was ceo (until he wasnt) he should probs be the champion" hes also the only one to have a team w every pokemon being the type o chose for them so far!! i love psychic types theyre my favorite ralts is my second favorite pokemon + fav gen 3 pokemon (my fav gen) which is why i have one named after him :3 i chose psychic for him partly cuz bias partly bc i thought it was funy to have mumbo of all people to be a psychic type trainer

- espeon

- lunatone (was planning to have pearl have one on her team so this might not be set in place?? or maybe they both have one idk)

- musharna

- gothitelle

- meowstic (havent chosen what gender his is n probs never will 🫶)

- gardevoir (RAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH this totally could read as pmd bias but its not i just adore this line sm every time i play rse i have to have one on my team idc how long it takes me esp since the spawn rates r kinda low)

• so .he originally didn't want to be a trainer LMAO

• the only pokemon he had for YEARS was an eevee n he never planned to get more

• obviously that didn't stay that way ^_^ one night he got kinda cornered by .idk some fucking pokemon n his eevee tried to help but hes literally never fought a battle w it before so it didn't go too well n waoh omg guess what saves him!!!!! a ralts!!!!! yes this is like .cheesy or wtevr no i dont care its my pokemon au i can do what i want

• after this mumbo is like "o shit mayb i should train my pokemon" n he catches the ralts n trains both it n his eevee up n along the way catches the other pokemon on his team (mostly in similar situations to the ralts .psychic type pokemon r attracted to his swagless charm <33)

• n eventually the eevee evolves into espeon!! wow omg who couldve seen that coming

• anyways yea he became a psychic type trainer completely on accident n kinda became champion just for fun 😭 n when he beat the og elite four in whatever region they're in n the champion he just kinda left n like a few days later he gets a call n it goes like "hello?" "hey yo mumbo ur the champion rn .u got a battle to fight some guy wants to fight u" "HUH?"

• somehow nobody told him that beating the champion made u the champion ?also the guy who wanted to fight him was grian 🫶

scar: grass type elite four member!! yea kinda predictable but it FITS ok

- roserade

- abomasnow

- whimsicott

- sawsbuck (its form changes w the seasons so this is the summer form!!)

- mawile (realizing now theres a lot of gen 3 within these teams wow i wonder what games i played growing up Clueless)

- alcremie

• scar my beloved in this au .hes actually the leader of the evil team LMAO

• fun fact !he has a different team for that (lmk if u wana see it i have it planned too) n a different outfit n shit n hes like "oh surely nobody knows its me Clueless" everyone knows its him

• him + his team doesn't do enough bad shit for anyone to kick him off the elite four or do anything ab it or anything LMAO

• cubs the other leader in case u were wondering

• i dont think his team needs an explanation

• HOWEVER like grian he also has a pokemon that he goes everywhere with but never battles w!!! his is a skitty named jellie :3 bc ofc i had to fit her in (n ofc .to nobody's surprise out of any cat pokemon there is i chose a gen 3 one)

these r all the details i have completely planned?? i def have other things down in my head i just haven't typed it all up yet 😓

[minmos]

@kcrossvine so i was just kind of going nuts w no specific recipe, the good old "put shit in a pot" tactic. this is also my first time making any kind of beef soup. heres what i did:

YOU WILL NEED: instant pot/slow cooker, 1 pot to boil the noodles in, 1 pan to sear the beef in

ingredience:

for the beef: beef shin, juice from 1 lime bc i ran out of lemon juice, soy sauce, fish sauce, 6 cloves of garlic, 5 spice, onion salt, black pepper, MSG

for the soup: 1 yellow onion, 2 potatoes, a few stalks of green onion idr how much, 1 habanero, a few more cloves of garlic, beef stock, oyster sauce, miso paste, ponzu, mirin, soba noodles

NOTE: this would have been badass with more vegetables, unfortunately this is all i had on hand

steps:

1. cut the beef shin into 1 inch cubes

2. mix together all of the other beef ingredients as a marinade. soak the cubed beef + the bone in it for a minimum of 1 hour (i did it for 2. i'd imagine it would be good overnight)

3. when you're done marinating the beef, heat some olive oil in a pan on high. cook the beef in the olive oil to get a nice browned outside.

4. chop the onion, habanero, potatoes, and garlic while the beef cooks

5. when all ingredients are ready, put them in the instant pot along with the beef & the bone. pour in beef stock, adding water if you don't have enough to cover everything. add oyster sauce, mirin, ponzu, and miso, then give it a little stir

6. slow cook in the instant pot for 5 hours

7. once slow cooking is complete, bring a pot of water to a boil. add soba noodles, cook for a few minutes, then rinse in cold water to stop the cooking process. add to soup and you are complete. (also remember to remove the bone)

i feel like i missed some ingredients that i added, this is off the top of my head tho. i wish it was spicier, next time i think i'll add more spicy stuff - maybe more hot peppers, some white pepper, maybe cayenne? needed more vegetables in general. i think some lemongrass in this would have been incredible. the beef had the perfect texture. there is much room for experimentation

the soup i made with the beef shin is done. good god. it is lifechanging

[1kook]

attachment: 1 image

— jjk x (f) reader

summary; But for Jungkook to initiate some sexting, nevertheless sexting at 1pm on a Saturday, when you were at work and you were almost positive he was supposed to be on stream right now? Unheard of, you had to mark this down somewhere. warnings; sexting, dick pics, dirty talk?, phone sex, vivid depictions of jungkook being just so sexy bc its true, rating; mature (18+) misc; mentions of youtuber kook 🥰, he’s just horny, stupid selfie trends (see here), he’s a little whiny but so hot v.v  wc; 4.6k 

notes; I've had this in my drafts since april 😐 n then i was like maybe we should actually finish this so i started n then last night i hit another follower milestone!!! so then i rlly forced myself to finish this bc i was so 🥺🖤👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 anyway enjoy lmk what u think its not proofread bc uhhhhh yeah 🤩

You’re at work when it happens.

It’s sometime between your usual listless thoughts of what to write for your weekly reflection papers for some course, and your trip to your store’s pharmacy to bother a coworker. Your phone vibrates in the pocket of your work apron. You’re normally pretty good at ignoring the sound, most of the times it’s just a classmate asking for help on homework or Jimin lamenting his love life, so you’ve grown used to ignoring the tiny vibrations, stocking a quarter shelf of different cooking oils before something in your brain tells you to check your phone.

You already know it’s not something grave, but that thought alone means nothing at the sight of the tiny jungkook♡ that appears at the very top of the list of notifications. Your boyfriend’s texts tended to be wildcards, never following a certain routine or alluding to any specifics. He could send you a long paragraph on how much he misses the scent of that one shampoo, the one you’d briefly run through last year because your usual brand was out of stock, with a ten point explanation on why you should switch back to it. Or two word, caveman sentences that drove you crazy because you never understood what exactly he wanted when he’d send those nondescript “munchies dip” texts.

You unlock your phone, clicking to the messenger app instead of directly on the notification. Hopefully the preview will give some warning on whether you should invest in this conversation or not. You hated the read receipts on messages, choosing to ghost conversations as you pleased, but Jungkook had wiggled his way into your phone one afternoon and specifically turned them on for his chat with you, and you’d never turned them off since. So he knows if you choose to ignore Attachment: 1 Image at 1:43pm exactly, and he'll pester you about it until you respond.

You contemplate it all for twenty seconds. It could be a variety of things, you guess, but the only way to find out is to actually see with your own eyes what he’s up to this time. He knows better than to distract you at work, is usually really good at waiting until your shift is over to spam you with messages. For him to send you something now, only a few hours into your shift, is uncharacteristic of him.

But you glance down the aisle anyway, taking note of some elderly woman you’d helped a few minutes prior and another teenager aimlessly walking around, probably looking for the snack aisle. You inhale and press down on your chat with Jungkook.

It takes you a moment to make out exactly what the image is, twisting and turning your phone around as you fight to see it without raising the brightness. It’s only when your eyes finally adjust to the dark screen, the faint beeping of the check-out registers fading into the distance, that you realize it’s a shot of the front of his sweatpants.

“Hm?” you murmur, getting brave enough to pinch the image between two fingers, zooming in until you’re able to decipher a multitude of details. For one, there’s a Flaming Hot Cheeto stain on the hem of his sweatpants, the same one you’d accidentally put on there a few weeks back and haven’t been able to wash out since. Then there’s that huge palm of his, tattoos and all, rested carefully against his thigh. It’s veiny and thick in all the right places, bringing all the attention to his knuckles, which you guess is what he was going for when you consider the centerpiece of the image—his hardened dick straining against the grey material.

There’s no text attached to the message, no snapchat font slapped over the image, so you wonder what exactly he wanted you to do with this information mid-shift. Well, realistically, you know exactly what he wants, but that doesn’t mean you won’t clown him before getting there. After all, Jungkook was seldom the naughty texter; sexting annoyed him, he would whine, because he would do all that and not even get to feel the true pleasure of sex, of being inside you. You’ve dabbled in it here and there, but it never went as perfectly as it did in pornos. He’d drop his phone and forget it, or you would straight up ignore the damn device as you went all in on yourself.

But for Jungkook to initiate some sexting, nevertheless sexting at 1pm on a Saturday, when you were at work and you were almost positive he was supposed to be on stream right now? Unheard of, you had to mark this down somewhere.

you what’s this about?

You decide to play it safe, because as exciting as the image of Jungkook at his computer chair, cock hard and angry at the thought of you, fluffy hair ruffled in that way you adored, jaw twitching and tightening as he touched himself, moaned deep and rough and just how you liked and—

As nice as that image was, for all you knew this vague message was Jungkook sending you a picture from a week ago to purposefully fuck with you at work.

jungkook♡ what time u get off? jungkook♡ miss you bad baby

Your stomach flips, and it takes everything in you to not squeal and bounce between the shelves like a toddler on a sugar rush. Here was your boyfriend, the cutest, sweetest boy, sending you dirty pictures of himself and telling you how much he needed you. Yes, YOU, not some random on the street, or someone else in a club, Jungkook needed pleasure and that pleasure could only come from you.

You glance back down the aisle again, checking your surroundings for the second time that day. You’ve been standing here, stock cart empty for a little over five minutes now, so it’s probably best to change location lest your manager come barking down your neck. You send one quick text before heading off for stock again.

you 4pm :(

Your phone dings again just as you’re leaving the stockroom, but you decide to check it once you get to the hygiene aisle you need to work on next. Still, the prospect of Jungkook having texted you has you walking with a skip in your step, one your coworker teases you about when you pass by her.

jungkook♡ fuck jungkook♡ tell me what panties youre wearing jungkook♡ please ?

You bite your lip, stopping yourself from smiling at the tone you’d picked up from his message. There was no doubt he’d been riled up for a while now, and you wonder if he sat through his usual Saturday morning streams with his cock hard, pushed against the edge of his desk like you knew he did when such things happened. The thought has you nearly fumbling with a bottle of aloe vera.

you seamless black thong you the one you bought me at the last vs sale

Briefly, you wonder if you should have lied and told him you were wearing that red lace set he’d given you last Valentine’s Day, the one he’d bought with his first big YouTube check. But the beauty of being in a relationship with someone like Jungkook is that you could have told him you were wearing grandma undies and he’d still think you were the most beautiful person to grace the planet.

jungkook♡ mm jungkook♡ tiny ones u ruined last time?

You set your phone down, speed stock a row of sunscreen like you’re on some shelf stocking national competition, before daring to text Jungkook again. Your cheeks are still warm, and your hand tightens dangerously around a bottle of shaving cream.

Before you can formulate some response, he’s sending another one in.

jungkook♡ u soaked those jungkook♡ came fast that day jungkook♡ want u so bad

Your cheeks burn, a little embarrassed that he remembers such details. As with all Victoria’s Secret panties, they were, like Jungkook said, extremely thin. You pause, shift your stance just barely, but you’re definitely wet. Not terribly so, but with this fabric, you’d start to notice it sooner than with others.

you mm you makin me wet bunny

It’s not a complete lie, but knowing Jungkook this is exactly what he needs to hear to get that competitive streak going. You shake your head to clear your thoughts, stocking another section of men’s shaving cream. It takes longer for him to message you back, and you wonder if he got off fine on his own. If it’s over now, at least he provided you with some distraction midway into your shift.

When he texts you again, you’ve almost completely convinced yourself he’s finished, so the Attachment: 1 Video that appears on your lock screen throws you for a loop.

It’s a short clip, no longer than ten seconds, but it has you scrambling to lower the volume on your device as some unsuspecting mother of two wanders past. You flash her your practiced smile, the same one you give all the store’s customers. Not like your boyfriend is jacking it off on your phone, shallow pants filtering out from the speakers.

You turn your phone over carefully after she leaves, try to at least pretend you’re still doing your job as you play the video again.

Sweats are gone, but boxers remain. Legs deliciously exposed, thick thighs with muscles that ripple when he moves. Shirt pulled up just slightly to showcase that broad expanse of tummy, cute belly button and defined abs that tighten with each glide of his palm over the outline of his cock. Your mouth fills with drool at the sight. He was so hot.

Your brain hasn’t even processed it yet, all your energy directed towards your clenched pussy, when he shoots another text.

jungkook♡ im so fckin hard jungkook♡ wanna kiss yuo every where baby jungkook♡ come ove r soon ??

Shutting your eyes and counting to ten doesn’t help ward off the sudden wave of horniness that consumes you, but it does remind you of the job you’re supposed to be doing now. You shake your head, as if the image of Jungkook’s dick throbbing beneath his boxers, low voice in your ear, will magically disappear. It doesn’t, and it plagues you even more when you begin stocking a section of sunscreen, numbly instructing yourself on what to do next. Shaving cream, sunscreen, lotion next, you repeat.

It doesn’t help.

Two minutes later and you’re scrambling for the phone you’d hastily tucked into your apron pocket, tapping your passcode in until your messages with Jungkook are pulled up again.

you after work you promise

Your head is absolutely spinning, the coil in your stomach too tight for you to try and be a functioning member of society. Something in you says to sneak off to the bathroom and call him, but your boss is a little bit of a prick when he wants to be, thinks you take too many bathroom breaks as is.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. A curt call of your name has you whirling to face your shelves again, phone tightly pressed against your ribs like maybe it’ll melt into your skin and he won’t see it. At the same time, your sudden fright has you scrambling to turn it off, fingers sloppily pressing against the buttons, hitting the volume like seven times before you eventually feel the familiar click that signals it’s off.

Your boss disappears shortly after, and with his sudden appearance having made every hair on your body stand, you find yourself now slumping against your stock cart. Jesus, that man was a handful to deal with.

The paranoia sticks for a little bit, has you stocking shelf after shelf like a robot until you finish the entire row of hygiene products, back stiff from bending over so much. It’s only when you return to the stockroom ten minutes later that you dare take your phone out again.

A pleasant surprise awaits.

It would appear that during your haste to hide your phone from your boss— Jungkook’s scandalous messages and all —your frantic hands had done something else. A fuzzy picture on your end, a blurry display of lotion bottles you had stacked just before your boss’s impromptu appearance, with no words to accompany them. Normally Jungkook would have ignored that; you frequently sent accidental messages like this, butt texted him, he says.

But there’s something about Jungkook’s horny brain that makes him do stupid things, makes him blow up your phone with a series of question marks, call you four times, whine and fuss in your message thread, and eventually, send you probably the oddest image to date.

jungkook♡ ??? jungkook♡ ????what is that jungkook♡ baby please jungkook♡ I don’t get it ??

jungkook♡ Missed Call (4)

jungkook♡ baby jungkook♡ what does it mean jungkook♡ please ur drivign me insane jungkook♡ jsut wanna hear yuor voice jungkook♡ fuck please just

And then, there’s another one of those cursed Attachment: 1 Image messages.

You shouldn’t be as surprised as you are. You’ve been dating Jungkook for a few months now, know he had that sort of unique personality most college dropouts turned YouTubers do. But every now and then the absurdity of his actions makes you question him still, makes you wonder what exactly goes on in that pretty head of his to warrant such ideas, makes him balance a bottle of body lotion on the thick outline of his cock like this.

Unlike the first few images, this one was taken in front of a mirror. The blinding fluorescent light in his bathroom paints him in a stark color, has every inch of his pretty face on display for you. Rosy cheeks, dewy skin. Perfectly swollen cock straining beneath his grey boxers, curved up against his hip. Shirt pulled up, finally freeing that expanse of muscles on his abdomen, cute little belly button on display once again. The red material is pulled up to his mouth, pearly white teeth biting down on the fabric, and he’s got this flushed expression on his face.

But the real star of the show isn’t his chiseled abdomen or sexy expression, but the sheer hardness of his dick that lets him balance a bottle of body lotion over it, like a fuckin’ shelf or something. He’s so hard, dick so full beneath his boxers. So big too, the little boxers pulled taught around said engorged cock and thick thighs.

Your brain says to laugh, to tease him for being such a clown even when he’s horny as hell. He won’t take it to heart, will probably laugh along with you and you’ll add it to your still growing list of funny memories.

But your caveman libido says call him, so that’s what you do, ducking down behind a new shipment pallet with a squeak as the phone rings. It only lasts four seconds before he picks up, voice breathy and low, but it sounds so loud in the silence of the stockroom.

He doesn’t even let you get a greeting in. “You like my picture, baby?” he husks. It sounds like he’s right there, right beside you, speaking into your ear. Your pussy throbs at the way he sounds. Paired with the picture from before, it has your body tingling all over.

“What the fuck is that?” you hiss, trying to not let the sudden overflow of arousal leak into your words. Jungkook chuckles.

“What?” he huffs. There’s the brief sound of shuffling, the scratchy noise of his phone presumably being pressed against his shoulder. “I’m so hard, baby,” he sighs before you can pretend to reprimand him any further. “Fuck— you, can you just talk to me?” he groans, and the disgusting sound of him spitting into his palm fills your ear.

Your face feels warm, eyes nervously peering across the stockroom like your boss will suddenly appear now of all times to rip you from this important phone call. The anxiety and arousal mix weirdly, have your leg bouncing but every new movement sends a shock up your aching cunt to your chest, and then out to the tips of your fingers.

“You shouldn’t be doing that when I’m at work,” you murmur hurriedly, moving to nervously bite at your finger. Jungkook moans softly.

“Uh huh,” he says.

The air conditioning turns on and you nearly jump out of your own skin. “Kook,” you stress, frazzled by your own burning arousal and the fear of being caught. Like you said. Weird mix. “I— not when I can’t respond.”

He shudders on the line. “You’re responding now,” he points out. You hate when he’s right. Before you can defend yourself, define what a proper response is in this scenario, he’s beating you to the punch. “Baby,” he whimpers, voice so airy yet low, makes your eyes roll into the back of your head, back unconsciously arching. “Couldn’t stop— fuck.”

Your mouth feels dry, all and any form of lecturing fading from your thoughts as you become consumed in Jungkook’s little whines and whimpers. He talks smoothly, a modern day Casanova, and it’s certainly because of that cult-like harem he’s gathered on YouTube. Teenage girls who kiss his ass, tell him he’s cute and dreamy. Make his ego so big.

But then he gets horny and can barely contain that lisp you tease him about, shivers and melts when you put his cock in your mouth. “Couldn't what, bunny?” you mumble, voice drawn tight because now you were really horny, and it was all his fault.

The nickname makes him mewl prettily, your speaker suddenly going scratchy as he fumbles with his phone. “C- Couldn't stop thinking about you— your mouth,” he admits, and now you’re certain he’d sat through that Saturday morning stream like this. “T- Tits,” he adds, lisp slipping through. “Fuck.”

You bite your lip, eyes fluttering shut as you remind yourself now was not the time or place to get yourself off. But, well. That didn’t mean you couldn’t get him off. “Sat through your stream like this?” you murmur, circling your kneecap with a trembling finger as if it’ll ward away the raging lust in your abdomen. Jungkook confirms with a breathy moan. “Had all your little fans wondering why you ended so early.”

He groans. “No,” he chokes, voice hot from how much it wavers. “They— I lied,” he confesses out of nowhere, “s- said I had a doctor’s appointment.”

You muffle a giggle into your palm. “Naughty,” you tease. “Too hard to do your job.”

“Just,” he cuts off, voice feathery. He sounds so close and you haven’t even said anything of substantial value yet. “Tell me,” he says quietly, “what to— mmh, what to do.”

A smirk consumes your features. You try to hide it, but there’s no one here anyway so you’re left grinning at an unpacked box of dental floss like a madwoman. “Why?” you inquire playfully, bask in the sad little whimper he responds with. “Shouldn’t you know how to make yourself cum?”

Another groan of frustration, desperation seeping into his tone when he speaks again. “Baby, please,” he begs, and it feels good. Feels nice to have this big YouTuber begging for you like this, whimpering your name like his doesn’t appear on the top 25 most viewed. “Like when you— ah — when you tell me… what to do.”

Your body feels hot, thighs pressing together with each whimper that falls from his lips. “Okay,” you concede, and he audibly moans in relief. “Tip first,” you instruct softly, eyes defocusing as your brain slowly starts to manifest the image of Jungkook spread out on his bed. Thick thighs, grey boxers pulled taught around them, fat cock between his pretty hands, inked knuckles squeezing around his member. You swallow. You can tell exactly when Jungkook does as you say because another muffled moan fills the speaker. “One finger,” you remind him quickly, head spinning from the mere memory of his dick. “Run it… run it over the slit, bunny.”

“Nngh—“ Jungkook sputters. You can only imagine the face he’s making now, the bottom lip he’s bitten raw by now. He does it a lot; it’s a nervous habit. But as sexy as it looks when you’re in bed, you know he has sensitive lips because of it, bleeds easily if he’s too harsh. You have half the mind to remind him about it now, but then he’s hurriedly gasping out for more. “And, and then? Wha— what then, baby?”

He sounds so sweet, melodic voice dripping with honey. “Touch your balls,” you say a little breathlessly. “Don’t squeeze,” you add, “just roll your palm over them.” Your palm squeezes against your thigh, as if it’s remembering the feel of his body, the soft skin between his thighs when you’re down there. He gets so jittery, thick thighs nearly crushing you if you drag him along too much. “O- Other hand on your cock,” you stumble, thighs squeezed together. “Stroke yourself just like I do, bunny.”

Jungkook complies. “Just like you?” he mumbles, suddenly sounds farther away. As if he’s dropped his phone off to the side. “Fffuck,” he grunts, “m- mouth is so pretty.”

“Hm?” you inquire, so consumed with tampering down your growing arousal for a second that you miss his sentence.

Jungkook’s breath stutters, and for a moment you’re met with the wet squelch of his cock in his hand. And then, “pretty mouth… make me— make me wanna see you cry.”

You bite your lip. “Why,” you say tentatively, finally caving in with a hand fluttering over the front seam of your jeans. Not a question, more of a gentle nudge for him to spill his thoughts.

“Be- Because,” he cries, fucking into his hand. He sounds closer and closer. You have to wonder just how long he had been riled up. It’s been a while since his first message, he was probably desperate by now. “Y- You’re so nice,” he cries, and the sentiment, though oddly out of place, makes your heart squeeze with adoration for the boy on the line. “Wanna be,” he groans, “wanna be so fucking mean to you, baby.”

The sudden change of tone makes you choke on a moan, hand pressing against your mound like it’ll somehow penetrate the thick material of your jeans and give you the sensations you crave. As it stands, it’s a muted feeling you get instead. When your hands fail, his voice compensates. “Fffuck, don’t you— don’t you think about it too?”

Admittedly, no.

Jungkook had always been a gentleman in bed. Always cared for your needs before his own, went out of his way to make you feel pampered and adored during your most vulnerable moments. Contrary to what his online persona might say, he was a good boy. Sweetest boy you knew, touched you like you were made of glass.

So to suddenly learn of this dream— fantasy? kink? —of his that you would certainly enjoy equally as much, well. It made you whimper into your palm, eyes worriedly flickering toward the stockroom’s entrance.

“Why?” you whisper, feeling like a broken doll repeating the same phrase over and over again. You’re suddenly aware of how hot everything was. Your polo felt sticky against your spine, apron too tight, jeans too stuffy. How long had you been hiding in here for? You don’t even know. Hopefully your absence on the floor had gone unnoticed.

Jungkook pants into the line; everything sounds so sticky and wet on his end, hand undoubtedly working away at his cock. “Shit,” he curses, doesn’t really answer your question until you prod a second time. “I- I like it,” he stammers. “When you… fuck, when you look small.” He elaborates before you can even ask, breath heavy and drawn out. He was so close. “When your mouth… when it hurts,” he says, thoughts a scrambled mess. “Like when you— when you cry because my cock is— it’s too big for you.”

A blatant ego boost you’ll ignore for now. Not like you can focus on too many things right now anyway. “Your cock is big, bunny,” you agree softly instead. Your legs feel cramped from crouching so long, so you push yourself to your feet. Except then you’re made aware of how fucking wet you are, panties soaked from the phone call with your boyfriend. You shift and they stick to your folds, make you release a shaky exhale that Jungkook doesn’t miss.

“I— you’re wet,” he says boldly, and this time your meek confirmation isn’t a lie. Jungkook grunts. “Fuck, baby, I—“ cut off by his own whiny cry, probably bucking into his hand like a madman by now. “Wanna, wanna kiss you everywhere,” he says, a call back to his earlier message. Your legs feel like jello. You want him to kiss you everywhere too— lips, tits, cunt that is dripping for him now.

“I- I’ll be over soon,” you stammer, feeling like you’ll pass out if he carries on any further. He sounds so good on the line, soft pants, rough growls. You can’t possibly listen anymore, not when you’re so wet and horny in the middle of your shift. “Just,” you pause, can’t get the image of his pretty cock out of your mind. Every blink makes it more vivid, reminds you of the vein on the underside, the exact shade of the tip.

“What?” Jungkook hisses, voice higher than usual, parts of it lost under the rapid movements of his hand. “Tell me, baby, tell me what to do,” he begs hoarsely, “I’ll do it.” Sounds so desperate and needy, two seconds away from busting all over his hand.

You have to lean against the wall of the stockroom to ground yourself, remind yourself you’re not in the same situation as Jungkook and can’t cum in your pants like a teenager. “J- Just cum,” you choke, eyes fluttering shut.

He must’ve been waiting for that command, because the second the words leave your throat he’s filling the line with breathy groans and cries as he comes all over himself, probably ruins his t-shirt. The sounds have your hips unconsciously bucking forward into nothingness, the frustration of not being able to cum with him manifesting in the form of a tiny little sob. Luckily, he doesn’t catch it.

When it’s all said and done, he’s left panting into the receiver, flooding your speaker with breathy sighs that only make you more and more aroused.

“You’re terrible,” you frown, cheeks flushed, body tingling. You flip your wrist over and check the time; it’s been about sixteen minutes since you disappeared from outside. Sixteen minutes of listening to Jungkook touch himself and moan and whine and whimper. Tease you with new possibilities you had never considered before. And now he’s satisfied and you’re not.

Jungkook chuckles, low and tired. The sound shoots straight to your cunt. “Come over after you shift,” he says, as if you’re not planning to fake a severe case of the flu right now in order to get off early and run to his bed. You only had a little less than two hours of your shift left anyway. Not like they paid you well to begin with. Jungkook shifts, releases one of those saccharine groans as he probably snuggles into his bed, all sweaty and worn out. “Want you to fuck my face, baby.”

You frown, counting to ten to calm yourself down. Another few minutes of listless conversation, and you hang up. Your body feels featherlight, a little woozy as you make your way back out into the floor.

Nothing has changed. Customers pour in and out, your boss scolds you for a display you didn’t do, and life inside the store drags on. No one knows that you’re soaking your panties to hell and back, Jungkook’s soothing moans in your ear. Life goes on.

you shift ends in 20

jungkook♡ sweet jungkook♡ got your seat ready jungkook♡ Attachment: 1 Image

Copyright © 2020, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.

[noa-ciharu]

Please do my favorite ship: DouWata and Y

I like them so much! 🍱

I died when I saw which prompt that was. Would they do it? Absolutely.

I wrote this with shop owner Watanuki in mind. Ya know... for reasons. NSFW so under cut.

Yummy (how do they use food during sex?) - they didn't start immediately. One day Doumeki comes to shop from work and sees Watanuki preparing dessert of some sort. He goes to counter, they exchange few words and then Doumeki sees strawberries. Impulse kicks in, he takes one and puts it to Watanuki's lips. He opens lips and slowly bites one part, all while maintaining eye contact. Then Watanuki takes the remaining strawberry part and licks Doumeki's fingers clear. Doumeki takes another strawberry, but this time places it between their lips. They make out the entire bowl like that. Sex on kitchen counter gets hella messy due to stickiness of strawberry juice. Doumeki takes whipped cream into mix but doesn't put it past Watanuki's chest (ahem, some hardcore nipple licking). Watanuki ends up seated on kitchen counter with legs wrapped around Doumeki's waist as they fuck; cream is used only for making out and finger licking, but that is just a beginning of food sex adventures.

As their sexual relationship progresses, they found out they have a thing for body worship and long sensual love making season. Only natural chocolate and honey are added into mix. Often would Doumeki lay Watanuki on his back, put chocolate over chest and waist, wait for it to melt and then lick it off him. That'll go on and on, until Watanuki begs for licks and kisses to go lower to his erection (bc ofc Doumeki would have more patience in bed). With honey Doumeki would let it slide down Watanuki's body, especially onto thighs; he'd lick them again and again, but not where Watanuki wants the most. Doumeki insists honey isn't proper lube but then Watanuki persuades him to go fetch some oil instead and hurry up with it. And so long rimming season starts, all until Watanuki snaps, shoves Doumeki down on tatami, soakes his cock with oil too and rides him animlastivally. What to say, shop owner Watanuki is power bottom material.

One day Doumeki sees they have sushi for dinner; but he gets into daring mode. He says he'd eat it only if it's from Watanuki's body. And so Watanuki is laying naked on his back with sushi positioned all over body. Doumeki takes it slow, eats everything from him while licking Watanuki's skin in process. Hands are gripping his hips, Watanuki can't move or touch himself. Doumeki goes overboard with foreplay, he places food down to Watanuki's groin too, but doesn't lick or suck where Watanuki wants him the most. After 45 mins, Watanuki cums hard over himself, completely untouched.

But what about Doumeki? Well, one time he insisted Watanuki has a taste of own cooking too. So whipped cream makes a return. Watanuki pours half of bowl all over Doumeki's naked chest and waist, then slowly licks it all off him. He kisses down to his cock and licks cream from it; then pauses and adds more cream; licks and sucks until no cream is left; then puts it again. Doumeki is trying to keep himself in check but when Watanuki starts deep throathing him, he snaps and shoves Watanuki down. Takes said cream, puts it around entrance and briefly licks Watanuki open. Then pulls tongue out and fuck him unrestraiendly for once, for each second of tortuous teasing. Watanuki loves seeing him lose control for once.

[sportsbianism]

so what i did is first of all, last night, set a shitload of beans to soak. actually way more than i ended up needing, so i had to do algebra later to get the macros lol. then this morning, i drained all the water out, put them back in the pot, covered with water, and set them to simmer. while they were simmering i chopped up a big white onion.

they simmered for about half an hour before they were nice and mushy like i wanted. then i took them out and put them (with the bean water!!! Don't dump that out) in a big bowl.

back to my big bean pot, i put in some oil, in my case i decided to go with about 40 grams of peanut oil. i just bought a kitchen scale from the bargain store so im getting all fancy 🤪 then i added in my onions, some minced/pressed garlic, salt, and half a packet of taco seasoning. taco seasoning was sort of cheap and lazy of me. you could be more legit than me and use like. fresh chilis etc. but i didn't. once those things looked nice and toasty, i added all my beans back in and mushed the crap outta them w my masher. u could also use an immersion blender for this but i didn't bc i don't have any money.

while still periodically stirring my bean mush, i put my cast iron pan on the stove as well. i put in some stirred 96% lean ground beef (idk what the official term for this is, but i personally like to stir and mush my ground beef up before i cook it. stir in one direction so it's all smooth and yummy. but that's extra as fuck and you don't really need to do that. u can just dump straight in and mush). on top of that i put some salt and the other half of my taco seasoning packet. i also ended up adding a little bit of water idk it just felt right.

once all shit was cooked to my liking, i took it off the stove and onto my little mini folding tables which i use to cook bc i have no counters. inside low carb tortillas from aldi, i put 90 grams of my beans, 15 grams of fat free mozzarella from walmart, 5 grams of shredded gouda from aldi (why gouda?????? idk it's what i had and i thought it would make a good melt) and 40 grams of my beef. wrapped it up normal burrito style.

once everything was all wrapped up, i did stick it in the oven for a quick minute to sort of solidify the shape to make wrapping them in plastic wrap easier. i learned that aldi plastic wrap is bad. i also ate one and it was super delicious.

made beef and bean burritos from scratch. so fucking good

[crybabykiko]

I just came across you nsfw with Osamu and I really enjoyed it I was wondering if You could do one for Kita?

Hi love! This is for u 💕 and all the kita fuckers worldwide- myself included bc I’m in love with him now 🥺

NSFW Alphabet - Kita Shinsuke

Nsfw below da cut g

gn!reader focus in this hoe

A/n: ty @honey-makki for being my partner in degeneracy and my wife ilysm bc she can read when I can’t

𝕬 - 𝕬𝖋𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖈𝖆𝖗𝖊

Will feed you a full meal. His way of making sure you’re cared for is keeping you well fed. He will cuddle you and spoon feed you himself if he has to, as long as you eat every single bite. He has a routine for everything, aftercare is no exception. He runs you a bath, then, while you soak, he cooks. Will make sure to throw a hoodie in the dryer before heading to the kitchen so it'll be warm for you post shower. Then he feeds you and holds you, playing with your hair or your hands until you fall asleep.

𝕭 - 𝕭𝖔𝖉𝖞 𝕻𝖆𝖗𝖙

You already know what the fuck is going onnnn! Kita is honestly so well sculpted that it really doesn’t matter but let’s talk about his back/shoulders. He’s so mf broad and it's very sexc of him. He’s also very fond of when you cling onto and scratch it up…. delicious

He loves your hands. He loves to hold them, especially when he’s looking straight into your eyes as he drills the hell out of you- he’ll lift one up and kiss it bc ✨romance✨

𝕮 - 𝕮𝖚𝖒

Oh he’s going to fill you so full of cum that it pours out of your ears. He has a big breeding kink, and huge loads to match. But he’s also very healthy and takes good care of himself so his cum isn’t bad on your tongue on the off chance he hasn’t already cum inside you 600 times prior to finally doing so in your mouth. And he’s going to kiss you after- very sexc of him.

𝕯 - 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕾𝖊𝖈𝖗𝖊𝖙

Lost his virginity in a barn. Got a tick on his ass of all places. The barn isn’t the secret tho... the tick is.

𝕰 - 𝕰𝖝𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖈𝖊

When you got together- he was definitely a virgin. Had only gone as far as MAYBE second base. But you used that to your advantage, because you’ve essentially built him up and trained him to be PERFECT for you. You also helped him find out what he likes and what makes him feel good too. Sure there was a lil’ corruption involved, but in the end you’re both very happy with your sex life.

𝕱 - 𝕱𝖆𝖛𝖔𝖗𝖎𝖙𝖊 𝕻𝖔𝖘𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

Full on mf wrestling mating press. He’s going to have his cock so deep inside of you that if he even pushed a bit more his body is gonna go in too. Then he’ll just live there. He’s fine with that.

𝕲 - 𝕲𝖔𝖔𝖋𝖞

Unintentionally so. Every once in a while, you’ll both giggle or laugh because you have to reposition when you start to cramp up or you accidentally hit him in the face when tying to pull him closer or something. But he’s a firm believer in the whole “if you can’t laugh with the person you’re having sex with you shouldn’t have sex with them” addage, so he’s very grateful for those light moments.

𝕳 - 𝕳𝖆𝖎𝖗

It could definitely be neater. He isn’t abysmal, but he is hairy and could stand to trim a tiiiny bit more often. He’s just very low maintenance down there. As long as it’s clean he's good, which is both true and a decent place to start but pls tell him to get a little off the top of you know what I mean.

𝕴 - 𝕴𝖓𝖙𝖎𝖒𝖆𝖈y

He’s! So! Loving! He’s always going to go the extra mile to make you feel special. He likes to keep things on the softer side I’d say 8/10 times. He prefers to make love instead of just fucking it out- but if you get into an argument or he’s frustrated, he will happily go hard… but still with candles and a massage. Also I said it already but he’s gonna hold your hands while he demolishes you- interlaced fingers and all that cute shit even tho you’re getting railed.

𝕵 - 𝕵𝖆𝖈𝖐 𝕺𝖋𝖋

His grandma is one of those old ladies that’s like “don’t do that you’ll go blind,” so poor baby was a lil pent up before he got older. Now, he still doesn't do it often, but he does it once a month or so as part of his routine. He uses coconut oil because he likes the smell and that it melts easily.

𝕶 - 𝕶𝖎𝖓𝖐

Breeding, listen it’s just embedded in country boys to fuck and fill. He is no exception.

Spanking, moreso as a way to direct you. Moving too much? slap to stay still. Changing positions? Slap to get you moving. Just wants to see you jiggle? Yeah that too. Motivational slaps also come into play when he wants you to know you’re doing a good job.

Auralism, He LOVES to hear you. The sound of your breath, your moans, the way you chant his name when you’re close… he eats that shit up. It feeds his ego and boosts his pride. He also makes a lot of noise himself, mostly really deep moans but there’s a sprinkling of praise throughout too.

𝕷 - 𝕷𝖔𝖈𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

He needs privacy. So he’s definitely one to want to keep it at home or at least somewhere secluded and away, where he knows only you and him are there and will know about it.

𝕸 - 𝕸𝖔𝖙𝖎𝖛𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

He doesn’t care how he does it, but his number one priority, is making sure that you cum. Kita is a giver. And he will make sure to give you whatever you want from him.

𝕹 - 𝕹𝖔!

He’s not into SUPER rough stuff. He’s not vanilla, but he is the kind of guy that sees sex as “lovemaking” so he’s not gonna punch you in the face or throw you around like a ragdoll. It’s just not his style. Of course if it's what you want, he will… but never expect him to ever bring it up or do so on his own.

𝕺 - 𝕺𝖗𝖆𝖑

Ok so- he's… teachable. I’m not gonna lie, he would start off as absolute trash. But the good thing about him is how adaptable he is, and how willing he is to learn. You’d have to have him work at it a lot but once he gets good he’s great. He’ll love the feeling of accomplishment he gets from you getting off with only his mouth- it does wonders for his pride.

𝕻 - 𝕻𝖆𝖈𝖊

It’s very even- until he starts to get close. When he’s close he’s going to speed up so much that you have to brace yourself against anything that’ll hold you. He is definitely a headboard grabber too.

𝕼 - 𝕼𝖚𝖎𝖈𝖐𝖎𝖊

He likes to take his time with you. For that reason, he isn’t a huge fan. You would really have to convince him that it's worth it. He doesn’t see the point in instant gratification, and thinks you should be patient. Good things come to those who wait and all that Kita stop being so stoic and rail me at the farmers market challenge

𝕽 - 𝕽𝖎𝖘𝖐

Lmfao you think this mans is really gonna go for a public or semi-public scene? Think again. Now, he’s into sex outdoors sure, but only in your fenced in, enclosed backyard. He’s not letting anyone see you point blank periodt, you’re for his eyes only.

𝕾 - 𝕾𝖙𝖆𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖆

Excellent self control. He can hold off on cumming for as long as you need him to. Usually he’ll tap out himself after you’ve gotten through at least 3 of your own highs- but his record is 6. Has a super long refractory period tho- so he does things this way to make sure you get everything you need in one go.

𝕿 - 𝕿𝖔𝖞

He actually likes using toys on you. He has a bunch of different plugs and vibes that he uses to suit the situation. He prefers to use a hitachi wand on you while he’s fucking you, but all the others he uses for foreplay- or after to keep you full to the brim of his cum.

𝖀 - 𝖀𝖓𝖋𝖆𝖎𝖗

You both tease each other absentmindedly. He doesn’t know why he gets so turned on by you scrubbing the floor on all fours (that’s why), but he does. He also doesn’t understand why you think its hot when he cuts firewood in winter or wipes his forehead with his shirt during the summer. He thinks he’s gross and sweaty- but you can only think of a million other ways to make him sweatier.

𝖁 - 𝖁𝖔𝖑𝖚𝖒𝖊

Listen we stan. He’s not quiet in bed by any means, but he’s not overly loud either. He’s the type who takes deep breaths and then on the exhale let’s out a moan from deep in his chest- you know the one. And he does that shit on purpose. Not really, but he does think of it as his way of letting you know that he feels as good as you feel. Will also 100% hit you with the “is that it baby? Is that the spot?” While you’re practically turning into jello underneath him bc he absolutely knows that’s the spot he just likes to make you say it.

𝖂 - 𝖂𝖎𝖑𝖉𝖈𝖆𝖗𝖉

Wants to recreate the sex scene from tthe notebook with you. He can’t explain why, he just has an unexplainable urge to suck your face off in the rain and then proceed to raw you after peeling all the damp clothes from your body. Please oblige him.

𝖃 - 𝖃-𝕽𝖆𝖞

He’s got the thickness. Not coke Can thickness but like… you remember the Alaskan bull worm from ep of SpongeBob? Well he’s the whole worm, not just the tongue. I’m going to hell for that reference but ya he has a nice dick. The perfect thickness and and I’ll say a pretty good 5.5-6 inches worth. It’s also very veiny on the underside which- yes I love that.

𝖄 - 𝖄𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌

Normal sex drive, since you tend to do it at least 2 times a week. He only seems to get a little needier when you CAN’T have sex regularly- ie, one of you is sick or you’re away from each other. When that happens, he’s a little edgier than usual, can snap sometimes but not often.

𝖅 - 𝖅𝖟𝖟

He’s the type to get a second wind after. He’ll only go to sleep after he makes sure all your aftercare needs are met, and even then, he’s only going to power-nap it for maybe 10mins. He’ll stay still and cuddle you while you sleep, but he’ll most likely watch tv or scroll through his phone while you enjoy his warmth. Every once in awhile he’ll give you a kiss while you stir.

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