#Baz is not an elf

[fight-surrender]

Guys. I love you all, but I have to speak out. This has been driving me nuts for years. Baz is not an elf. His ears are not pointy. I submit as evidence a photo of Bela Lugosi, the original Dracula. Look at that rounded pinna.

Every time someone draws Baz with pointed ears, Simon gets a pimple.

[mustacactus]

My 3 babys, they’re in a sort of team of explorers (still haven’t worked on that)

From left to right:

Baz the wolf: a warrior and lover of nature, his big dream is to find the love of his life and have a farm

Odette the satyr: a mage of big accomplishments, loves to investigate and can’t be bothered with small talk

Ziv the elf: a little creature, most think she’s actually a Goblin, loves to invent, create and fight for the little things she likes

[thcdoomed]

Some companions I have been tooling with and revamping (lol) for Dronia's post-tadpole quest to get revenge on Demsasc Volkar. And also the asshole that betrayed her old adventuring party and got them killed. Not included: Dronia and Karlach (@torntruth )

Row 1: Jalen Gill (Half-elf Druid/Herbalist), Adelaide Meadowrun (Human Paladin), Rowan Meadowrun (Human Rogue). The Meadowruns are twins and Adelaide is definitely the older twin.

Row 2: Astra Colebrook (Human Draconic Bloodline Sorcerer), Sindra Onadi (Human Druid), Baz Rook (Elf Bard)

Row 3: Nalmyla Grayhand (Dwarf Fey Pact Warlock), Lord Zane Arbaga (Human Cleric), Pike Kothrack (Tiefling Fighter)

Row 4 (bonus): Alden Stoneridge (Human Rogue) and Alden Stoneridge (Vampire Spawn Rogue)

[criticalfai1ure]

( 001 ).   hi, i’m alex🔪, 30+, she/her.   ( 002 ).   welcome to #criticalfai1ure : a semi-selective and slow roleplay blog for a multitude of characters, many of whom you've seen me write elsewhere on this hellsite. ( 003 ).   you must be 18+ to interact.   ( 004 ).   my inbox is always open and memes never expire, send something today! ( 005 ).   like i said above, i am slow. this is with ic responses and many times with ooc too. i do my best but i'm a mom with a full-time job and i appreciate your patience more than you know. ( 006 ).   blogroll : @pizzatheif, @mirafirstmate, @sniperwithasmoke, @wallyclarkmemorial. ( 007 ).   most active muses in my brain : hugo ; august ; max ; basher.

est. april 2023    —    dash only.    beta editor. memes. google site. alt verses. interest tracker. incomplete gdoc.

MUSE LIST : ( updated 01.15.25 )

AGATHA ALL ALONG

agatha harkness. ( testing )

BATTLESTAR GALACTICA

karl “helo” agathon. ( private / plotted only )

BULLET TRAIN

tangerine - arthur h. seville junior. formerly TANGERINESOUR

DUNGEONS & DRAGONS

edgin darvis. ( d&d : honor among thieves ) - human bard. chaotic good.

hardwon surefoot. ( naddpod ) - human / half-elf fighter. neutral good.

neega “neenee” axeslinger - half-orc bard. chaotic good.

basil “baz” silvertongue - half-orc warlock. chaotic neutral. character sheet gdoc.

lady favour of vawdeen - tiefling bard. chaotic neutral.

FALLOUT

hank maclean.

GHOSTBUSTERS formerly WHOYAGCNNACALL

peter venkman.

winston zeddemore.

ray stantz.

egon spengler.

janine melnitz.

GRISHAVERSE

ivan medvedev. formerly BEARTSAR

matthias helvar. formerly DJELVAR

pekka rollins. formerly KAELISHKINGPIN

jan van eck. ( private / plotted only )

jarl brum. ( private / plotted only )

KAOS

eurydice “riddy”.

LUPIN

benjamin ferel. ( testing )

MISC. / ORIGINAL CHARACTERS

hugo van houten - pizza fiend, petty thief, dumb of ass. formerly PIZZATHEIF

sebastian maximiliano “red”/“max” rojas - pilot, first mate, doomed by the narrative. formerly MIRAFIRSTMATE

leland sleight - scientist medic, traitor, bringer of the second apocalypse. affl with STORYSCRAWLED

thadeus p. louton - empath, scaredy-cat, paranormal investigator. formerly DISCOUNTEMPATH

herbert montgomery “monty” mustard. ( headcanon based ; clue ) - colonel, war profiteer, murderer?

jacques “jb” fèvre - art forger, liar, thief. formerly CONTREFACTEUR

kiyajara “kiki” sepúlvida - jb’s best friend, a better thief, the stabbiest.

ser bérénice “bernie” du bouclier - knight of the realm, right hand to the prince, lady of the shield. formerly TRIOMPHANTE; affl with WARSRAGE

miriam avery - research assistant at MIRA inc., nosy to a fault, what was the saying about curiosity and cats?

felix hwa - army medic, heart of gold, in over his head. affl with GRAVEWALKS

oscar archibald ricketts - lighthouse keeper, keeper of the souls lost to the rocks, wraith? ( but too good at his job to bother replacing ).

silas “slightly” guthrie. ( headcanon based ; peter pan ) - ex-lost boy, current pirate?, still lost.

bernardino garcia “bear” - tattoo artist, brass knuckle brawler, assassin zookeeper. affl with CHAMPAGNEPROBLLEMS

oswald “oz” o'síoráin - bass guitarist, mummy's boy, number one hype man for his bandmates. affl with RICHMND

taylor barbaira - teen sleuth, lost in the woods, doomed by the narrative ( but eldritch ). affl with the MYRTLE SPRINGS DETECTIVE CLUB

MISC. PIRATE MEDIA

august van de hoek - dutch privateer turned pirate captain, teetotaller, the foothold of a legend that no longer reflects its source material.

fergus byrne. ( potc / ride based ) - navigator, helmsman, harbinger of death. formerly HELMSRNAN

john “calico jack” rackham. ( black sails ). formerly SICUTCANIS

james norrington. ( potc + headcanon based ).

jack the monkey. formerly JACKTHEMONKCY ( private / plotted only )

joshamee gibbs. formerly SUPERSTITIOUSSAILOR ( private / plotted only )

MISC. SHERLOCK HOLMES MEDIA

colonel sebastian “basher” moran. ( moriarty : the devil’s game ). ( private / plotted only )

colonel sebastian moran. ( elementary ). pending me watching the show.

sebastian a. "basher" moran. ( modern hotd/acd ) formerly SNIPERWITHASMOKE ( yes i have a problem, pls do not perceive me ).

NIMONA

ballister boldheart. ( movie based / comic influence ). ( testing ).

STAR WARS

jod na nawood.

STRANGER THINGS

jim hopper. formerly HOPALONGJIM ( private / plotted only )

TED LASSO

roy kent. formerly FUCKINGKENT ( carrd )

THE BIG DOOR PRIZE

dusty hubbard. ( testing )

THE ROAD TO EL DORADO

tulio.

THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY

number two “diego” hargreeves. formerly FIGHTKNIFE

WYNONNA EARP

john henry “doc” holliday. formerly LUNGSLINGER

john henry holliday ii - legacy, sharpshooter, sidekick.

[crystalmonk5579]

Haii totally not a suspicious blog post for my bestie @ninjapaste >:3c

Bazhagen/Duke Wyatt

A/n: NONE OF THESE ARE CANNON BESIDES THE EAR WIGGLES AND THE EAR PETS OK?! I'm literally just doing this bc Robyn is asleep and I don't wanna bother them lol anyways let's begin!!!

~~o⁠(⁠(⁠*⁠^⁠▽⁠^⁠*⁠)⁠)⁠o haiiiiio⁠(⁠(⁠*⁠^⁠▽⁠^⁠*⁠)⁠)⁠o~~

Bazhagen:

Ok, pets fucking start off with the obvious, his ears are sensitive. Like not really sensitive where it could be painful, but like, lil tingles when you touch em.

His bf Lucian(my oc) will pet his ears sometimes

This mofo can get jealous as easily as a fly and flap it's wings. Like Lucian could be talking to someone from Durmitch and if they do ONE WRONG THING IT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING DEATH GLARE FOR THE REST OF THE COVO

Very into pda but I feel like that's a given bc of his out going natured personality

This man will constantly tease Lucian Abt anything so be fucking careful when you're around baz, he will never stop reminding you of embarrassing things. Like you guys could be talking and he could call you kale teeth in reference to when you were talking to your crush and you had a piece of kale in-between your teeth.

Doesn't trust wild animals in Durmitch for three reasons, 1.) They're probably dangerous 2.) They could be used as listening devices for some magical people! And 3.) Lucian might adopt them and they're gonna steal his bfs attention away from him >:(

Honestly, I think he might be really fucking good at rock climbing for some reason...

This man is willing to pick up his small 5' bf and just smother him with kisses in public, no holds back all out, just to either scare someone off or just to show he loves his bf sm

Willing to just show up unannounced and bring you gifts if he ever senses you are sad one singular bit. "Heyyy, I saw you were acting not like yourself, and really really sad for whatever reason so I bought out an entire bakery with my friends money, you wanna watch the real elf house wives?"

HEAVY ASS SLEEPER ISTG IT WILL TAKE A FUCKING MILLION MAN MARCHING BAND TO WAKE HIM UP A LIL BIT/hj

I think he might really be into soda or root ear floats in a modern au

I think he might also really like axe throwing too, both as practice for fighting and competition!

This man's hair is so so so fucking rough and jaggy like look at it, it looks like a susuwatari from studio Ghibli movies except they're all greased up and spiked to make him look cool

I don't think he actually likes the leather pants he wears, like they're very restrictive and not good for fighting, not to mention it must fucking itch badly since I'd assume Durmitch woods are kinda like rainforests. And we all know that leather pants + humid/wet rainy areas= ITCHY ITCHY!!!!/neg but eh, who gives a shit!?! He looks cool in em

Cry baby when he gets a cold "OUGHHHHH LUCIAN WHY MUST YOU ABANDON MEEEEE?!!?!?" "....babe you have a mild cold, you'll be fine in a couple of days" "*sniffling and sobbing* WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN TO MEEEEEEEE?!?!?!?"

Duke Wyatt:

His hair is so fucking soft istg, it looks so fluffy and soft and nice to touch

I bet he smells like dandelions and tree sap from the woods

Modern day au I think this man would have a skincare routine ngl

I think if he could I would actually be really really good at drawing!!! Like omfg I bet his penmanship from song wriitng

Man will sometimes unconsciously death grip Lucian while he's cuddling him by accident

Would slightly die inside if his favorite patisserie would go out of business and he couldn't get his almost croissants anymore

This man gives like the bestest hugs ever istg, they're tight and soft at the same time and theyre long but not too long that they over stay their welcome

Honestly....he'd slay in a summer dress, LIKE ESPECIALLY THOSE DAINTY WHITE ONES WITH SUNFLOWER PRINTS THAT GO SO WELL WITH A SUN HAT

Very very good at dexterity shit with his hands bc of wood carving, speaking of hands!

Very calloused and gritty on the sides bc of accidently nicking himself while making flutes and other wooden things, carrying logs, wood cutting etc etc

HE IS A FUCKING HEATER WHEN JT COMES TO CUDDLING, HE IS PERFECT FOR EXTRA COLD WINTER NIGHTS

(Modern au)Hates and I mean HATES SCARY AND GORY MOVIES WITH ALL HIS HEART

Actually more of a cat person than a dog person, as much as he gives off golden retriever bf vibes tho, they're just a lot calmer and more nice to be around...and they won't chew up his flutes!!!

(modern au) any movie relating to animals dying like a dogs purpose, Marley and me, etc etc. They make him go through all the stages of grief for a 5 day period.

He really really likes flannels too!!

That's it for now y'all!!! Have a nice day/night/evening!!

~~(⁠づ⁠｡⁠◕⁠‿⁠‿⁠◕⁠｡⁠)⁠づ byeeeeeee ⊂⁠(⁠・⁠▽⁠・⁠⊂⁠)~~

[heylavellan]

my ocs

meet my ocs!! some of them have profiles linked, some don't. but i'm happy to answer asks about them >:]

wardens

ramsay cousland (any) - charming noble who loves being in charge

rhiannon amell (they/them) - avvari mage caught by the circle

saliin mahariel (he/him) - dalish crafter turned hero of ferelden

lonan surana (he/him) - he just wants to be happy in the circle

hawkes

august hawke (he/him) - goody two shoes mage broken by kirkwall. toxic yaoi w/ anders

felicity hawke (she/her) - small and full of rage. she loves her wife merrill

inquisitors and heralds

elwyn lavellan (he/they) - himbo elf who really wanted to farm halla but became inquisitor instead

ariadne trevelyan (she/her) - saved from entering the priesthood by instead becoming the herald of andraste!

shokra adaar (they/it/he) - dry and witty mage who mocks qunari custom by presenting as saarebas and inquisitor.

basileus "baz" cousland (he/him) - father of four and widowed during the conclave. he really needs to fucking sleep

rooks

antonio de riva (they/them) - qunari spellblade who is learning that they don't have to just be a weapon

barry thorne (he/him) - left orzammar to join the grey wardens when his ex-wives got married. he's a slightly better person these days.

nifty ingellvar (they/she) - the grand necropolis' pre-eminent explorer and lover of women.

world states

primary world state: ramsay cousland -> (ambiguous hawke) -> elwyn lavellan -> antonio de riva

unlearning: (tbd aeducan) -> august hawke -> ariadne trevelyan -> nifty ingellvar

[i-was-mislead]

I realized halfway through my first dnd session with a new character that I accidentally made Baz.

I mean, it’s not really Baz, but a dramatic high elf with long dark hair and the “celebrity adventurer’s scion” background.

Oops?

[burninlovebutler]

u guys seem to like these so imma keep makin ‘em lol

[prettyaudvampyscones]

Watching Elf and thinking what if Simon was Buddy the Elf!? What if the Mage left him in care and he was found by Santa and adopted by Papa Ebb!? What if he went to New York City and was found by Penny and her friend Baz who were working as department store Elves!? What if he Falls In Love With Baz!? What if he finds his Dad who is pissed that Santa found him before he could come back for him and wants revenge!? What if Simon (and Baz and Penny) have to save Christmas!?

Simon SNOW? That’s an elf’s name for sure!!

Can’t even watch Elf without making it Snowbaz ❤️💚

[meeblott]

more backlog art - Orilon’s a changeling, which means he can turn into his friends, including Baz, nonbinary tiefling icon (top pic is actual!Baz, bottom is Orilon!Baz w/ bonus delighted Khestrelar) 

Orilon/Baz - @cardinalstar        Khestrelar - @meeblott

[punkandcherries]

In my DnD campaign

Baz (My 5’8 gay drow sorcerer): I’d like to roll seduction on Skywatcher (friend’s 9 foot tall pan goliath)

DM (Also Skywatcher): Go right ahead

Baz: *rolls a nat fucking 20 + 4 with his charisma mod*

Liana (another friend’s halfling bard): Yee! Let the gay commence!

[austinbutlermischief]

I LOVE U JOEY MUAH MUAH MUAH 💗💗

me & u ^^

also us ^^ (i’m baz obviously bc i’m unhinged lol)

Awwww back at ya Booby (no idea how that is spelled but that's how I'm spelling it damn it), but ummm where's Ash @troubleinapinksuit in that? We are a package deal! Either way though giant hugs my Elf of Mayhem! Sorry @ab4eva I'm stealing that title for her!

[kissingwookiees]

baz luhrmann is such a weird little man. he looks like an elf. he is australian. all his movies feel like acid trips. and every time i'm like 'great work weird little elf man cant wait for the next one'

[alternate-kiza]

Little head cannons

Penguin is a water lunarian that can shrink their wings. Shrinking their wings makes it easier when swimming in water to avoid getting them caught on obstacles.

Apoo and Hawkins have siblings that ended up together during the two year timeskip. Baz’s older sister and Apoo’s older brother had a child a year later. He has red eyes, brown hair, face of his father but nose and mouth of his mother, name: Parslee.

There is a subcategory for members that aren’t part of the original cast; Page one and Parslee are some of them.

Kid’s family have a kind of curse that binds them to one of the Scratchmen family. Doesn’t matter which Scratchmen, just has to be a Scratchmen. This actually goes back generations. Mia raised Vault, Vault raised Apoo, Apoo and Penguin both raised Kid, Kid kinda raised Record, it never ends.

Record almost fucked it up, but luckily Kay was there to save it and became the big brother to Parslee.

Apoo looks exactly like his mother. Kid got his red hair from his father, his mother has pink hair. It’s common for demons to have a shade of red. Hawkins got most of her looks from her mother besides the eye shape and eyebrows. Apoo and Hawkins both got their mothers maiden name.

Drake is the only human in the family.

Kid: Demon

Penguin: Lunarian

Apoo: Ghost/Long-arm

Hawkins: Angel/Elf

Killer: Reaper

Luffy: Fairy (Might change)

Shachi: Merman

Drake: Human

Law: Vampire

Zoro: Zombie

Heat: Dragon shifter

Wire: Werewolf

(Goes in order of rank in the crew)

Apoo, Hawkins, Law, and Zoro got them after death, and because Law and Zoro are connected to Wire they can turn parts of their body into their animal,

Law: Snow leopard

Zoro: Tiger 

Drake and Heat don’t get one because they are already a type of animal; just like what you would classify a dinosaur and dragon as.

[necromancer-mango]

[start image description: Six digital drawings of various original characters drawn during artfight. The first image is a bust drawing of Gael Nomdedeu I Sants who is a D&D character. He has short reddish-brown curly hair, light brown skin with pale freckles, as well as golden eyes. There is a large scar that goes over his left eye, up to his hairline and down to his upper jaw. Gael is wearing a plain shirt with frills sewn onto the collar and sleeve cuffs, red string tied around them. A crest is embroidered on his shirt, over the left side of his chest. He is also wearing gloves. His expression makes him look slightly irritated. The second image is a halfbody drawing of Damian Dawn who is a superhero character. He is Japanese American, with short black hair, pale skin, and blue eyes. He is wearing a plain blue hoodie. Damian is facing profile left, tilting his head while smiling at something offscreen. He looks relaxed. The third image is a bust drawing of Aemaryll who is a D&D character. She is an elf with pale skin, green eyes, and bright green hair. She is looking off to the side with a thoughtful expression on her face. One of her ears is pierced with a chain connecting two piercings. Aemaryll is also wearing a lace adorned dress paired with a metal pauldron on her visible shoulder. The fourth image is a bust drawing of Kassandra Maripán Penning-Ho who is also called Kass for short. Kass Mapuche/Lakota/Korean/Japanese, with short black hair styled with an undercut as well as pierced ears. They are wearing a blue polo shirt paired with a large trenchcoat. They are looking off to the side with a cigarette in their mouth. The fifth image is a bust drawing of Sagittarius who is a D&D character. They are a blue tiefling, with grey eyes and straight horns that turn white at the tips. Their head is shaved, and they have white freckles. On top of their two eyes, three more are situated at the forehead, a dark blue compared to the other eyes. They are wearing a black turtleneck compared with grey/blue embroidered robes. The sixth image is a halfbody drawing of Baz. Baz has pale skin and choppy blond hair that covers her face, hiding her eyes and making their expression mysterious. He is wearing a turtleneck, paired with a large green coat with a fluffy collar. Baz is framed with a bunch of circling clouds. /end image description] finally done with what I drew for artfight in 2022. Lesson learned, I should have done image descriptions every time I finished a piece. hopefully if I do this again I plan better and can get these posted closer to when artfight happened aha.

[ponett]

Since you're an undertale fan, will it be possible if someone makes a large donation or becomes a Patreon to have their character feature in your game?

I was going to say that it would be easier for SLARPG compared to most games because it's a fantasy world with furries, so I wouldn't have that problem of "what's this fursona doing in the background - oh wait that's a backer character, isn't it?" However the flip side is that Reverie has everything except humans, so if a backer had a human OC (or just their literal self) and refused to let me give them elf ears it would completely break the lore lmao

Anyway no, that's a box I'm not opening. Partially because I'd be worried about someone paying big bucks and then giving me a character design that either doesn't fit or stands out way too much, but also just because I wouldn't know how to pick a fair price that would prevent overwhelming demand without feeling like I'm ripping people off. (Not that I think backer character tiers are a rip off in general - who doesn't love having The Baz in Shovel Knight?)

However, I did consider offering SLARPG NPC style sprites as a backer reward on the Kickstarter we never ran. Not to go in the game, but just to have the art. Maybe I'll do those as commissions someday