#Basically my dinner go tos lol

[epersonae]

20 questions for fic writers

Tagged by @yerbamansa, thanks!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

169 😅 150 of which are for The Adventure Zone (I wrote a LOT of small fic for TAZ, and just a lot of TAZ fic in general)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

604,338, which remains absolutely wild to me. I hit the half-million mark this year.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently Our Flag Means Death, but previously The Adventure Zone, and I have one Star Trek (TOS movies) fic.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Sea of Love (Our Flag Means Death (TV)) (6,697 words)

Phoenix Fire (The Adventure Zone (Podcast)) (2,031 words)

Commit to the Bit (Our Flag Means Death (TV)) (2,471 words)

Dinner & Conversation (The Adventure Zone (Podcast)) (826 words)

I have begun to long for you (Our Flag Means Death (TV)) (4,185 words)

Yeah, ok, some fun reunion porn for the big fandom and a collab with two pretty popular writers for the small fandom make sense for that top two in particular.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to, especially since I don't get that many, and I love getting comments so much that I just want to share my appreciation. Sometimes the spoons are low, sometimes I don't know what to say except "thanks!" and if someone just commented on several chapters I might not do that for all of them.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Well, Phoenix Fire is the Worst Ending, aka the destruction of the entire universe, plus unbearably sad between the main characters, so yeah.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I do have quite a bit of fluffy fic (Commit to the Bit comes to mind, there's also a Fantasy Costco Kravitz/Taako that's very sweet), but I immediately thought of for the benefit of all the broken hearts, just because it takes an incredibly bittersweet ending of the fic it's fixing and says FUCK THAT, how can everyone get a happy ending instead?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've never gotten any, even managed to avoid the twitter wank that WFU got when I wrote fics of it! (long ago, I did get some vagueblogging about some stuff in my TAZ fic, but nothing ever addressed directly at me)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

That is where I started and why I started (my first smutty fic is pretty bad imho but it was popular, relatively speaking, because for a bit there it was the only unlocked smut for that pairing); my original rarepair was M/F bi4bi in a complicated polycule, and so there's some them+others works in there. (readers of for the benefit of all the broken hearts are nodding along like "ok this tracks") beyond that, I'm just going to say go look at my work.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Is for the benefit of all the broken hearts (and the rest of that series) a crossover??????? Like I'm legitimately staring into space thinking about the boundary line between modern AU and RPF and........ HUH.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

DO PEOPLE DO THAT

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

183 thousand words in a series: the only life you could save, with my beloved Ryn, when we were "just friends" - started as our attempt to co-write a reconciliation between Taako and Lucretia, and spun out into an entire timeline with themes spanning before the Stolen Century all the way into post-canon. Some pieces we wrote separately, much of it we wrote together. Even the last piece, which I published after Ryn died, includes a section that they wrote, about Taako trying to cope with Lucretia's death.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Probably Mulder/Scully lol, tho I don't know if I've ever read any fic of them????

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

One of my very first TAZ fics was a Hurley/Sloane backstory fic that was going to be basically a beat-for-beat retelling of The Fast and the Furious (oh, I guess that's also sort of a crossover?), but I only ever wrote the first chapter. I would love to write it at some point, because I think it would be fun as hell.

I'd also love to finish my TAZ Amnesty fic, sweetness follows, which is friends-to-lovers post-canon Minerva/Duck.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Character voice, I think. Possibly a stupid depth of canon knowledge for whatever the canon is, and I think I have a knack for figuring out how to reincorporate those details. Honestly, it's hard for me to say "oh these are my strengths and weaknesses", or at least today I'm having trouble pinning that down.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Punctuation Pokemon, or rather, my sentences do get very tangly. I find endings really tricky, I've done a lot of work thinking through how to stick the landing. (This is one of the ways in which Ryn continues to live in my head, because they could always spot when I hadn't quite made it.)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Alas my Spanish (high school and college) is too rusty to even try, and I don't know any other languages.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The Adventure Zone, although I wrote quite a bit of Agatha Christie pastiche in junior high, and a lot of Anne Rice influenced original fiction in high school and college.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I love a lot of my fic, it's fun to go back and look and say "oh that!", and The Reckoning Arrives is up there, of course, because I loved writing it, and it saved my life. ("she's survived the impossible before" got me out of my marriage and 2 years later got me through the hospital. "you're here, so be here" got me through what came after that.)

But it does have to be for the benefit of all the broken hearts - she lives in my head, still, and I feel incredibly proud of all the work I put into it, the technical work, the emotional work.

---

Not tagging anybody, but PLEASE! if you feel like talking about your writing, do it!

[immortal-elements]

More thoughts about that cooking post

Americans are reliant on fast food for better or worse, there is no getting around that. Our "lifestyle" promotes long commute times, long work hours, and we don't often have time to cook for ourselves.

But on the flip side, fast food is almost unilaterally poor quality food. Fast food is getting more expensive too, the McDonalds dollar menu of yesteryear is gone, and a lot of places are charging upwards of $5 for a burger that's gonna leave you still hungry an hour later.

I'm not saying "don't eat fast food" or "avoid premade meals". I'm saying that cooking for yourself is a fulfilling skill that will give you healthier food for cheaper, and as you hone your skills you will see that it is reasonably quick and easy. Now more than ever it is a fantastic skill to have.

Find a dish you want to learn to make, something simple, and practice. Make it until you are sick of it then learn to make something else, then repeat. If you need ideas, I will say that some cooking YouTubers have the right idea if you know where to look. (I usually search for "best college student meals" or something along those lines)

If you have a friend or relative who has a Costco membership, see if you can tag along with them and buy in bulk. You can make big batches of stuff and have it as leftovers. Noodles and rice are my go-tos for stretching meals out because they are inexpensive to buy in bulk, store easy, and are rather filling.

90% of improving your speed in a kitchen is improving your prep skills. Learn to get good with a chef's knife, and look up faster ways to break down meat and veg. If you are making larger batches, it helps to find your rhythm and prep all of one thing all at once before moving on to the next, setting stuff aside into bowls or whatever before you start cooking.

Plus, if you have room-mates, you can sometimes pawn off doing dishes afterward on them, lol

One of my go-to meals is fried rice. I spent $25 on a rice cooker, it's been a fantastic investment. Not counting how long the rice cooker takes, (that's basically set and forget anyways), I can make a batch of fried rice that will be dinner and work lunches for a week in under 15 minutes, the whole batch probably cost me about $7. I can make spaghetti and meatballs in about 25 minutes for about the same.

So some disclaimers, I'm not saying "Everyone should learn to cook, no matter what!" Because that's simply not feasible for some people. I'm saying that those that can, should, it is a skill that you can take pride in, and that you can save money with, and you can show off for your friends.

[lightsaroundyourvanity]

top five things to cook besides carrot soup

1. spicy chickpeas pomodoro!!

2. quiche (fillings vary)

3. goat cheese & asparagus pasta

4. boeuf bourguignon

5. smitten kitchen mushroom caviar on toast

[ahtsumu]

cOuNtRy BoY i LoVe YoUuU–– miya atsumu.

GENERAL HEADCANONS

☆ y’know that kid everyone hates but all the parents love? that’s miya atsumu for you

he’s such a mama’s boy ugh

she’ll see him with mud all over his jeans and be like “miya atsumu! what’d i tell you ‘bout goin’ muddin’!?” and he’s like “sorry ma! just got too excited”

and what’s she gonna do? nothing. absolutely nothing. she just laughs and shake her head because atsumu’s boyish charm is adorable

osamu hates this !!! they’re always competing for mama miya’s heart LOL

☆ says “mornin’ ma'am how’s your day been so far” to the gas station lady and then roasts the life out of his friends

anyone older than 30 adores atsumu to death and anyone his age thinks he’s the annoying dumb hot guy LMAO

☆ plays quarterback on the football team and he’s damn good at what he does !! he’s taken the team to nationals three times already and he’s hoping to end senior year with a first place trophy

☆ teachers also love him to death bc he’s such a sweet-talker and asking questions as if he actually cares about differential equations and antiderivatives but nooo LOL bby’s just trying to make the GPA cut for travelling

it’s a 2.2

☆ on days without practice he’ll hang out around the school parking lot with the Gang™, leaning against his pick-up truck and blasting music from his car speakers to look “cool”

rlly he’s just wasting his time and even his friends think it’s stupid asf like omg no one is looking. atsumu how r u not embarrassed

☆ drives stick shift and thinks he’s hot shit 😭😭😭 he’s not wrong it is hot tho

☆ plays country trap around the boys

when “old town road” first dropped lil nas x was on repeat for 2 months

atsumu has a playlist of EVERY SINGLE REMIX and he’s like “they’re differENT juSt liSTen!!!”

out of all of the boys he has the WORST taste in country music it’s deadass just lil nas x, florida georgia line, luke combs, and morgan wallen

sometimes he’ll spice it up with a little luke bryan but that’s pushing it 😭

his guilty pleasure is that one farmer song by lil tracy and lil uzi vert 

do not trust him with the aux

someone come collect him pls

☆ atsumu’s favourite southern meal undoubtedly has meat in it–– ribs, fried chicken, pulled pork, you name it

but he’s weak for peach cobbler and a side of vanilla ice cream for dessert bc homeboy’s got a massive sweet tooth

☆ he may be helpful in helping out with farmwork but this boy cannot fish to save his life

he has a picture of him holding a MASSIVE trout on his instagram and tinder (which he downloaded illegally for his ego lmfao) but really osamu caught it for dinner one night while camping and atsumu stole it for a 30 second photo

☆ owns camouflage but ironically ! 

whips it out on days he thinks suna might pull up in camo

why? no one knows. it cracks him up tho LMFAO

☆ atsumu actually dresses quite well–– his style is the typical southern prep: 

a pair of jeans/shorts and a crisp button-up paired with double monks

loves a good leather belt

his favourite leather is BROWN leather, thank you very much !

☆ owns cowboy boots and he’s so proud of them

they’re steel-toed and decorated by a simple stitch pattern but it gets all the city folks fawning over him so it’s his most prized possession

HE USES THEM TO IMPRESS CITY FOLK LOL he’s like “howdy” and they’re like 😍🤤😍🤤😍🤤

flirts by asking if they’d like to see his horse i––

☆ like his twin, atsumu is undoubtedly great with animals

dogs love him !! like they’re just naturally attracted to him plus he gets so smiley and happy around them

he was probably a golden retriever in a past life lmfaoo

he’s a phenomenal horse-rider too

he rides the horses out at night bc he just loves the wind in his face,,, like a dog

where he differs from osamu is that he hates the actual work of taking care of an animal lmao

☆ works a summer job at six flags because he loves going on rides for free he’s so cute ugh

DATING HEADCANONS

☆ aside from football atsumu also starts the inarizaki high school slam poetry club, which is, coincidentally, also just the entire football team 

listen it’s rlly cute how the slam poetry club was founded ok don’t laugh

after developing a massive crush on you, atsumu realises that he’s got too much of a meathead reputation to stand a chance LOL so he goes out of his way seem more “intellectual”

basically he’s like “i’m gonna venture into poetry bc girls love sensitive guys” and convinces the entire football team to host slam poetry nights in hopes you’ll show up at the shows

he starts leaving little poems in your locker and it’s like rupi kaur shit 😭

“you’re the brightest rose

in this garden

and you 

don’t 

even

know.

---a.m.”

☆ anyway you don’t even show up to the slam nights (you have ✨taste✨) but you do show up to his games!

☆ and eventually he works up the courage to actually ask you out and ofc you say yes bc he does it in such a cute way ugh

he stops you in the parking lot after a game and goes like “hey, uh, yer in my econ class and all yer comments are always so funny and..” and he’s just word-vomiting and eventually he gets to the point where he’s like “anyway i was wonderin’ if yer free friday night?”

☆ your first date is actually at an empty field near school

you’re just talking and getting to know each other better in the back of his pick-up truck under a bright moon, covered in blankets, each of you cradling a hot mug of cider

it’s kinda chilly but atsumu is literally a furnace

and atsumu just opens up the notes app on his phone and he reads you six poems and they’re all like 4 lines with weird enjambment HAHAHA

“you look. 

just like the moon. 

---a.m.”

most of his lines are actually plagiarised from popular country songs and you definitely recognise them but he just looks so darn cute awh you can’t rlly call him out rn (but you definitely do later in your relationship)

around two hours into the date he’s like “actually i’m the president of the slam poetry club” and you’re like “oh that’s cool!” (no it’s not omg ur praying he doesn’t start slamming right then and there bc you’ve heard rumours of what horrors the club has produced)

☆ if you like driving be prepared to Not Drive once you start dating atsumu (... or at least drive Less Frequently… unless you cut him a deal of some sort...)

he LOVES picking you up for school and this is the only time he’ll change the music playing in his car !!

he puts on the little playlist he made just for you and it’s got songs like:

cruise by florida georgia line (he literally always runs up to you and randomly sings “baby you a song” 😭)

burnin’ it down by jason aldean

play it again by luke bryan

but your song is “our song” by taylor swift ugh he knows every single line and he’s been dreaming of having a relationship like the one she describes ever since it dropped

ps: he’s actually the world’s biggest swiftie and thinks her earliest albums were the best

he got osamu on board too LMAO they go to her concerts whenever she visits their state. now you do too!!

☆ always drives with one hand on your thigh bc he’s just like that 🥰

☆ tried to learn how to play the guitar to serenade you but it was a miserable fail (he just can’t do the barre chords bc they’re so hard and what for !!)

☆ he’s such a good line-dancer tho

he’ll take you out to dance and it’s just such a vibe to see him smiling under lights, spinning you around at the barn dance with the goofiest smile on his face

☆ any time you guys fight or argue he’ll head out to the pasture behind his house and brood under the moon in the back of his pick-up truck LOL he’s so dramatic but it’s so cute!!

[i-dreamed-i-had-a-son]

Ok so TOS S3E5, Is There in Truth No Beauty? is like???? So good???? So good for us aros????? It's late and this post is a mess but I needed to say it

So Spock and Miranda are set up as parallels right, and Miranda is one of the most well-written and developed women I've ever seen from Trek. She's super competent and honestly a queen but also has flaws so you know she's like actually round and can grow??

And she is 100% ARO. Like there's someone in the beginning section of the episode (another surprisingly well written character) who is super needy and says he loves her and she explicitly says, "I can't love you like you want me to love you." (WHOA big props for distinction between types of love!!) That person responds by basically calling her frigid, but when he starts thinking of murder, she (a telepath) doesn't judge him, but just tries to help him work through his feelings. He takes a jab at her for this too, but the point is she's framed as a very empathetic and caring person, although she follows the Vulcan philosophy in many ways as well (again, parallel to Spock) so she doesn't come off as exceedingly emotional.

Also when she's at dinner with the triumvirate, Jim is kind of coming onto her by saying "How did the men at the base not stop you from leaving? ...Well I'm glad they didn't, otherwise I wouldn't have met you," and then Bones says "How could someone so beautiful choose to spend her entire life being with someone so ugly?" (She is the companion/representative of an ambassador who is a very good being, but is so ugly that it drives anyone who sees it insane.) They then toast to her beauty (Spock refrains). And she says to Bones, "How can someone so full of joy and the love of life like yourself choose to spend your entire life being surrounded by death and disease? Eh, gentlemen?" ROASTEEEEEEDDDD anyways she makes a toast of her own (I think to progress?) and then Bones responds with, "To whatever you want, Miranda" in the most respectful tone and it's great.

ANYWAYS, Miranda eventually gets approached romantically by Jim (kind of as a ploy but kind of not), but she rejects him, and he proceeds to say what all aros have heard before: "You're young!", "Eventually, you'll want someone to love," "You're attractive. You want to spend your life with someone so ugly?" etc. and she just OWNS him and says no, she isn't interested in that, and anyway what right does he have to determine whether someone is too ugly or beautiful to be worth spending time with?

And then the issue between her and Spock is she doesn't want Spock to meld with the ambassador, because she's jealous and protective of the connection she's established with the ambassador and doesn't want him to take her place--which is a huge aro mood--but this jealousy is NOT because of some romantic motivation from her towards the ambassador!! And this is confirmed several times!!

Bones is trying to explain to Jim that Miranda wants to help Spock, and Jim is not buying it because "they're rivals" and Bones says "But not rivals in love!"

When the Ambassador is sharing Spock's body I was full-on ready for them to do the whole "I have a body and can kiss you now!" schtick but they DIDN'T and instead he just comforts Miranda and briefly takes her hand in a reassuring way (which he does in part because she's blind! So even cooler!!) and they are clearly close but they are friends!

And at the end she leaves with the ambassador, having gotten what she wanted (there's a cool moment about it when Bones is saying goodbye) which is a sense of security in her role/friendship with the ambassador. They DIDN'T DO THE WHOLE "I know how to love now!!" bit at the end!! We stay winning!

(Also Bones was written super well this episode because he noticed that she was blind and kept it private to respect her, and when Jim asked why Bones didn't mention it he said, "She'd have told you if she wanted you to know" so the respecting women juice was HUGE here.) She hadn't wanted to tell anyone she was blind because she hated being pitied, and she told this to Jim in their conversation as well, which means she intended it to be a comment not only about pity for her blindness, but also pity for her lack of romantic interest. She didn't want to be pitied for not wanting that with someone, which is a HUGE mood!

I was also ready for them to try something with shipping Spock and Miranda since they were so similar and they were having many other characters be interested in her, but NO they didn't do that either. She actually takes a jab at Jim about that, because as Spock is lying there comatose, she says, "You'd probably try to tell me to wake him with a kiss," and I'm like OWN HIM QUEEN bc he basically responds by calling her inhuman (rip aphobic Jim...he does this every once in a while). But no instead of having there be something romantic between her and Spock, she just saved his life and they had nice platonic conversations and respected each other greatly!!

But ALSO also what is great is (not to make this awesome woman-centric post into being about a man but):

Clearly all of Spock's interactions this episode were platonic, since he parallels her and that's certainly how they intended her interactions with him to be (and can I say how nice it is to see Spock interact with an intellectual equal--he even admits her telepathy is more advanced than his--and just have that respect there without that undertone of "are they trying to ship them...?" It's SO nice). Also a great moment at the start of the episode with Spock saying he declined the position Miranda has because "My life is here" (on the Enterprise) and thus reaffirming that Jim and Bones and what he has is more important than anything else

Because they are so similar, Miranda's aroness can easily extend into Spock being perceived as aro. Notably, Spock (unlike Jim and Bones) shows no (implied or not) romantic interest in Miranda, but simply demonstrates the deep respect which they both show each other. Also, both characters have moments this episode (explained above) in which they put their friends/platonic connections as higher priorities than romantic connections, and Miranda's connection with the ambassador is very similar to Spock and Jim's relationship. Really, we're supposed to look at them and go, "oh, they're the same type of people." So by Miranda being aro, it implicitly backs up the view of Spock as aro!!

Anyways yes I left this episode not only feeling validated as a woman because Miranda was frickin EXCELLENT writing, I also felt validated as an aro on multiple sides. And I needed to express that to y'all other starved-for-rep aros! So here ya go lol 😂

[imaginesfromtheupsidedown]

Oldest Friend

A TMR/TDC Gally x FEMcharacter

hello hi again lol. it’s been over two years I believe since I last posted (I got locked out and finally found a way back in). I took down my first two parts of this Gally imagine, I didn’t like how I originally went with it and had a very long time to go over it lol. Again, I did not read Kill Order, I’ve read all the other 3 books and seen the movies so this was me creating my own character and pairing her with Gally and throwing them into the story, before and after the mazes, as I pictured in my head. Let me know if there’s anything you’d like to see with this story and feedback is appreciated :) I already have multiple parts written for it and they’re all pretty lengthy so if lengthy isn’t your cup of tea I’m sorry but that’s just how I write.

Triggers: as of rn I don’t think there are any but lmk if I need to put one :)

word count: 4306 (again, I’ve always written lengthy stuff and can shorten or add more to the next ones if preferred, I just always want to make sure the backstory and details that are in my head get put in)

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At first this was all so scary. They were ripped from their families and taken to a WCKD facility where they lived in dorm-like rooms and forced into classes and to push themselves in ways they never had before. None of them really understood why they were there. Of course, they had been told a watered down story of why they were there. But they still didn’t get it. Some of it started to make more sense as they got older, their days consisting less of their in-class studies and more of “hands on” learning.

As memories of their families and old lives faded, they started to get comfortable with their new skills they had acquired. Some excelled more academically than others and some excelled more physically, which made it easier to sort them where WCKD needed them. They usually saw each other when it was time to eat, about a hundred teens packed into a giant cafeteria. But otherwise they were usually kept around the others who they “worked” with or shared their rooms with.

They all had met the first day in the new facility, around 7 and 8 years old. They were ushered into a classroom with all white walls and flooring, with matching uniforms and scared expressions. That’s when they were given their new names and the purpose of why they were there. As time went on they formed their little friend bubbles, and still ate together now that they spend their days apart.

They were the closest thing to best friends as they could possibly be in that place. Newt, Minho, Alby, Gally, and Siggy. A few of them even got to bunk together. They usually sat with a few of the people who worked in the labs and facilities crew now, who they had met way back when in that empty classroom. Sitting around eating, laughing, telling stories, venting, and hanging out as teens should.

The two of them that were the closest were Gally and Meghan. If you were to ask anyone in the group they would probably have said that the two were acquaintances at most; Meghan was on the softer side and barely spoke, while Gally was usually picking fun at everyone and the most talkative of them all.

Gally was one of the kids who turned out to be physically inclined. He spent his days building things and with the construction crew. At first it was just a lot of lifting and the occasional construction of small buildings or labs. But lately they’ve had the crew traveling out into the desert to landscape and start to put the walls of their arenas together.

Meghan was someone who had great focus with her work and was shuffled into the labs with the likes of Thomas and Teresa. Occasionally she would spend time in the medical wing as Teresa’s shadow, but her specialty was coding. She was someone they counted on when the computer systems would crash or help them to create new programs to help further their studies. They usually tried to spend s couple days a week in the medwing, and that’s exactly when she had her first encounter with Gally outside of their little bubble….

“Gally! That’s enough!” she scolded him, pushing him into the nearest exam room and into a chair. He scowled at her while he started to roll his sleeve up. “There are other people in here, too. Besides, we usually respond to ‘please-and-thank-you’s’ better.”

“Just need it cleaned…” he mumbled. The gash in his arm went from his elbow halfway to his wrist, and there were a few splinters around it that she had to pick out before she could do anything else. He sat expressionless while she worked, biting the inside of his cheek.

“So. What’d you do this time, clumsy?” she asked, trying to keep him distracted from what she was doing.

“Some dumbass didn’t secure the lumber right while we were loading the burgs… whole thing just crashed down on us while we were trying to move it. Figured it would hurt my arm a hell of a lot less that it would my head.” He huffed. She pursed her lips and kept digging the splinters out of his arm. He wasn’t wrong about that. Stitching up an arm is a million times better than unzipping a body bag.

After all the digging was done the wound was fairly easy to clean so she began to stitch it up, his leg bouncing up and down as she started. When she’d catch him glancing at her she would try to give him an apologetic smile, but he’d just turn away. Toward the wider part of the gash is when he couldn’t help but wince away.

“Here, sit still for a sec, okay?” she got up and got the numbing cream but he grabbed her with his good arm.

“Just stitch it already! What, you think I can’t take it?” his cheeks were flushed. She plopped back down and took a big scoop of it anyways, giving him a stern look.

“Gally, I mean this in the nicest way. Shut up.” His cheeks flushed again and he turned away, but he was visibly less tense as she started to smooth the cream around his arm. “Feel alright now?”

“Mmhmm.” He sighed, leaning back and closing his eyes. She finished up the rest and instructed him on how to keep it clean and when to come back to get them removed. “You act like these are the first stitches I’ve ever gotten, Meg.” He laughed, earning an eye roll and giggle from her.

“Hey, just gotta be able to say I told you.” She pulled his arm back toward her and inspected her work while he stayed slumped in his chair. It already looked so much better than when he walked in. She mindlessly ran her fingers up and down the underneath of his arm while she looked, and after a few moments he bolted straight up and yanked himself away from her.

“The hell are you doing?” he mumbled, crossing his arms. She turned and started to clean everything up to hide her red cheeks. After a few awkward seconds of silence he sighed, “Sorry, just irritable I guess.”

“I.. it’s fine. Here-” she walked over to the exam room door and shut it, then closed the blinds. “Go ahead and lock the door after me, I’ll give you the room and say I gave you pain meds that knocked you out. Should get you at least a few hours for a nice nap. If you want.” She reached for the handle when he caught her arm.

“Hey… thanks Meg.” They both blushed as his hand lingered. “I promise not to be a big ol’ jerk next time.” She laughed and opened the door.

“Just keep the door locked and don’t tell on us.” With one last little smile she closed the door behind her.

“Hey, Meg.” Gally breathed, slamming his dinner tray on the table. She jumped at the noise, then gave him a grin.

“Gally.” A familiar blush crept up on his face. They both looked away and began picking at their food while everyone was talking. Siggy was going on and on about his latest attempts in the kitchen, getting a laugh from everyone. They joined into different conversations, occasionally stealing glances at one another before quickly looking away again.

They all started standing up and taking their trays toward the dirty bins. After she dumped her plates and slid them into the dirty dish shoot, she turned and made eye contact with Gally, only to glance away again to tell them all goodnight. When Gally went to wave to her she saw him wiggle his fingers. She was very used to their little signal but her heart still jumped a beat every time. She gave him a smile and waved back, wiggling her fingers right back at him. He cracked a huge smile and headed off back toward the boy’s hall, sneaking one more look before going through the double doors.

Just a little longer, she told herself. This was how she and Gally spent most of their nights. They’d go back to their rooms, go through the motions of getting ready for bed. Showering, brushing their teeth, putting on their pajamas, gossiping with their roommates, etc. Then they’d wait for everyone to be asleep and make their way to an empty hallway. The hall was basically used for storage, and no one was ever there after hours. The only reason they even new it existed was because they had stumbled upon it by chance one day. Of course, Meghan watched it for days to make sure that no one frequented the area and even still checks the security cameras every morning to make sure that no one would get close to catching them out of bed that late. Luckily she also spotted that a corner of the hall, the corner right next to the door, was covered in a shadow and couldn’t be seen by the cameras from that angle.

Soon, her room was filled with light snores. Very, very quietly she slid out of her bed and pulled the covers back over the pillow. When she got to the door she glanced one more time around the room, then tip toed out into the hall and shut it softly behind her. Staying as close to the wall as possible she made her way toward the labs.

When you look at the security footage almost every day, you soon realize where the blind spots are. It wasn’t too hard for her to stay out of the view of the cameras. All she needed to do was stay close to the wall, in the shadows and in the corners. Since the hall they met in was basically abandoned, there was only one camera that aimed down the middle of it. She cracked the door and slid through it, quickly but quietly closing it behind her. It always made her feel so bad ass when she would get there and back without being caught. That feeling, along with her soul, left her body when someone grabbed her from behind. She started to scream but a hand clamped around her mouth before she could.

“You trying to get us caught!” Gally whispered. He let her go and she relaxed, giving him a playful punch. Neither could help the smiles on their faces. This was their favorite, hiding in this dusty room. They would sit and talk for hours. They gave each other the comfort they knew WCKD would never give them or care if they got. There was something about being around each other that made everything okay.

They went over every second of their day. The good, the bad, the sad, the frustrating. Everything. Gally was in the middle of ranting about having to spend all day in the desert when he tapered off. She gave him a silly look as he reached over, taking a stray hair and tucking it behind her ear. She felt her cheeks get hot as he kept looking at her. After the longest second of her life he jumped right back into was he was saying. Talking, joking, dreaming, complaining. The rest of the night she felt half there; half of her listening, half of her stuck in that moment where he was touching her.

They sat there for a bit longer before he glanced at his watch, frowning and standing up. She was definitely ready for bed but didn’t want to leave their own little hide away. He must’ve read her mind because he gave her a little smirk and reached his hand out for her.

“C’mon, Meg, you know we can’t stay here all night.” He pulled her up quicker than she expected, causing her to trip right into his chest. This time both their cheeks went red and she gave him a little push.

“Geeeeez, Gal, you trying to help me up or rip my arm off!” she headed toward the door and he grabbed her hand, twirling her as they went.

“Hey, why not though? An extra arm would come in pretty handy out there.” He teased, earning a slap-happy giggle from her. They stared at each other for a few silent moments, neither of them knowing what to say. She knew they’d have to head back to their rooms if they wanted to get any sleep at all.

“Ugh… yeah we should go.” She mumbled, motioning toward the door. He nodded his head and shrugged, reaching his arm toward her. Her heart jumped; she could feel her pulse quicken. She stretched her arms right back toward him, wrapping them around his waist and resting her head on his chest. He froze for a second before resting his arms around her.

“Uhh.. thank you?” he chuckled. Her heart dropped and the heat returned to her cheeks; he wasn’t reaching to hug her… he was reaching for the door. She gave herself an internal kick in the ass before letting go. Of course, she just had to make it awkward. But a small part of her was over-the-moon. They both slid out the door, sticking to the shadows. They shared a final look at each other and mouthing their goodnights, taking off back to their own hallways and into their own rooms again.

Her mind raced as she snuggled into her covers, trying to dissect everything she was feeling. Why the hell was he making her so nervous? He hadn’t been acting any different… but… maybe it wasn’t Gally who was different? Maybe it was her who had changed... noticed new things about him… FELT different things about him…

Snap out of it! She told herself Even if he were to see her in the same light as she saw him, what sort of time could they possibly have together? WCKD had every intention of moving forward with their newest generation of captives, of sending them into a terrifying and uncertain future. Why start ANYTHING when it’ll most likely end in heartbreak? And that’s assuming WCKD would even allow there to even be “anything”.

A few hallways over Gally was tossing and turning in his bed, unable to find a comfortable way to lay. The same things were flying through his mind; how he had been painfully aware of how beautiful she was when she laughed, or how excited she got when she talked about the things she liked, and the way she always knew exactly how to handle him. Sad, angry, happy, or hurt she was always the one who knew him best and how to make everything okay again. From what he could remember from what their teachers had told them, their lives here were only temporary. A lump formed in his throat when he thought of them going their separate ways. He had to do it, he had to tell her was had been on his mind. He thought of the first time they met in that room, their room, as he drifted to sleep.

He slammed the medblab door open, looking around wildly.

“Where’s Meg.” He demanded, sweat dripping down his blood red face. Everyone just kind of glanced around at each other and shrugged, not really knowing what to say. He let out an exaggerated sigh and then stormed out, making sure to slam the door behind him. He made a beeline for the labs. She was the only one he wanted to talk to. He could just see the laboratory doors but just before he could go in she busted out of them.

“Gally!” she hissed, grabbing his arm and pulling him to the side. “What the hell are you doing! Why did the medbay just call here-“

“Well had they just told me where you were like I had asked they wouldn’t have had to call!” he yelled, trying to yank his arm away from her. She took off down the hall, pulling him behind her.

“Talk. Now.” He began to tell her everything about his day, right up to where someone really, really messed up. Not only did someone load one of the buses wrong but everything came spilling out of it on the road. Not only that, but seconds later the same guy crashed that bus right into a tree. Gally had been the first one up there to check on the guy and it turned out the guy, Jeff, had fallen asleep at the wheel, and when everyone else got there Jeff was quick to flip his story and blamed Gally for the whole thing.

“And so now I’m in huge trouble for wrecking a bus and destroying equipment that someone else ruined!” he ranted. She waited patiently, nodding along to the things he had let build up inside of him until he was ready to explode. They ended up in the cafeteria and sitting down at one of the empty tables. He realized he had been holding his breath and slowly let it all out.

“Are you okay, Gal?” she finally said, earning a confused look from him.

“Wha-?” he breathed.

“Are you okay, Gally? Like, what can I do to help? Or to take your mind off of it?” she kept her voice soft and even. He was at a loss for words, he didn’t really expect her to care. Just to listen and tell him he was being a hot-head and to go back to work and forget about it. She took his silence as an okay to keep going. “Look, you need to take a breather. That guy was wrong for pinning that on you but also you need to know that nothing is going to happen to you. You’re one of, if not their best, guy out there and they need that. Also, we need to come up with a way for you to calm down when these things happen. There’s no need to be slamming doors and scaring the poor kids in the medwing, okay? Letting everything build up like that and exploding isn’t healthy, either.”

“Yes.” Was all he could think of. He felt silly, rushing all the way over to her for something so petty. Something he could’ve settled himself… She placed a hand on his arm.

“Look, if you want to come and vent to me, I’ll always have time to listen. But no more outbursts. Just… promise you won’t let things bottle up anymore, yeah?” he pursed his lips at her.

“Do you mean it?” wow. He had never felt so dumb in his life. But he also craved having someone to talk to. Someone to listen to her. The someone that she was offering to be.

“100%.” She smiled. Standing up, she reached for his hand. He jokingly rolled his eyes and took it, hopping up next to her. “Now, don’t make me have to trek across this building and kick your ass for slamming doors.”

Since they were the first ones in the cafeteria they went ahead and got their food. Everyone started sitting down when they were halfway done with their dinner, questioning why they were there so early. He gave her an apologetic look as he told everyone some tale about having to unload stuff at the lab and how they were done early, blah blah blah. She tried to suppress a couple laughs, giving him a wink while she took a bite. His cheeks went bright pink as he looked back down, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling. He was very grateful to finally have found a friend.

Dinner had been going well, everyone was in a good mood and it felt like a million pounds had been lifted off his shoulders compared to earlier. At some point she threw a sarcastic compliment at him, starting a playful back and forth between them and earning laughs from the rest of the group. He smiled back at her, opening his mouth to say something, but then Jeff walked by.

“Aww, hey there, Gally. Good to see your little doctor finally has you under control.” Jeff teased him, patting Meghan on the back; she recoiled from his touch and shot him a hateful look. She went to say something but Gally was already on his feet, bumping chests with him and ready.

“Don’t touch her again.” He commanded lowly, pushing Jeff away from the table. All that earned him was a silent cafeteria and a laugh from Jeff.

“Maybe…” Jeff said, dropping his voice low. “she wants me to, huh?” he got right back in Gallys face. Meghan let out a hard laugh, shaking her head no when everyone glanced at her.

“See? She’s too smart for that. Now,” Gally broadened his shoulders and towered over Jeff. “like I said, don’t touch her again.” He turned and went to sit back down.

“Or what? You’ll punch another hole in a wall? Yeah, I’m terrified dude.” laughed Jeff. Meghan shot Gally a look, which he wouldn’t return. Jeff was still laughing as he was walking away, calling over his shoulder, “Or maybe you’ll just storm off to the medlabs to cry to your little doctor about it again.” Before he could stop himself, Gally jumped right back up from the table and lunged at him. It was a full-blown fight, some of the guys near them trying to step in and break it up while everyone else was scrambling to get out of the way. He heard her voice over everyone else’s, but he didn’t know what she was saying. All he knew was that he was pissed and had been waiting for this moment. Newt and Siggy got them apart for a second but before he could lunge again she appeared before him, shoving him as hard as she could but only causing him to take a step back.

“GO.” She hissed. He was confused and his adrenaline was still pumping, so she dug her nails into his arm and started pulling him toward a hallway. She kept walking, dragging him for seemed like forever before stopping dead in her tracks. “What the hell was THAT!” she whispered angrily.

“What!” he exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. “You can’t tell me he didn’t have that comin-”

“I don’t care! That was some bullshit and you know it.” She scolded him, her cheeks turning pink. “He’s an idiot, always has been and always will be. I’m talking about how you literally said you were going to start trying to not let stuff get to you, and now you’ll BOTH be dealing with consequences. You know how they are with shit like that…”

“Alright, and how is that your problem?” he retorted, stepping forward and towering over her. Her expression went hard and she stepped up to him, catching him off guard.

“Excuse me?” she said flatly, using both hands to shove him again. “You’re kidding me right now, right? Alright. Yeah, you’re right. This is NOT my problem. Sorry for looking out for you.” Her voice got quieter and she turned to storm off, but he grabbed her wrist and spun her back around.

“I didn’t ask you to look out for me, Meg!” he almost didn’t let her go. She yanked her hand away, tears in her eyes.

“Yep. Got it. Just sit there and listen and baby you but don’t actually care or look out for you or call you out for it. Understood.” She turned again, walking away. He knew he was being a dick and couldn’t just let her walk away. Before she could get far he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her into an empty storage room, locking the door behind him. “Gally wha-”

He took two strides and was right in front of her, pulling her in and hugging her tight. She was frozen at first but when he didn’t move she slowly wrapped her arms around his waist. He was shaking while he held her so she rubbed a hand up and down the small of his back. Tears started falling over the brims of his eyes.

“I’m sorry…” he whispered. She didn’t say anything, knowing he must’ve really meant it for him to be expressing himself like that. “I’m stupid, I’m impulsive, I let me anger get the best of me and I’m sorry. Please don’t give up on me…” she felt a lump in the back of her throat.

“Shh..” she hugged him hard for a second before pushing him back. “I have a promise for you, okay? I’ll be here, like I told you earlier. But no more of that shit. How about.. after lights out? If it’s a bad day just… I don’t know, wiggle your fingers?” she got him to laugh as she showed him what she meant. “ I don’t know… just a little signal or something. We can meet and I’ll listen and I’ll try to help any way I can, or even just keep your mind off of things.” He opened his mouth to say something but she cut him off. “But.”

“But?”

“You pull any stunts like you just did, I won’t.” she was stern, but wouldn’t meet his eyes. She wasn’t even done getting the words out before he was shaking his head, ready to agree to whatever it was the conditions were. He had always found it hard to have a genuine connection with anyone, so now that he found someone so kind and wanting to be his friend he couldn’t pass that up. Not in a place like this.

She gave him a small smile and a shove, motioning for the door. “C’mon, jerk. We’ve got some ass kissing to do if you wanna avoid getting in trouble.”

[crisisoninfintefandoms]

FANFIC FIRST LINES MEME

Oh boy, I was tagged by @cosmictuesdays, and I suck at linking usernames with writing and knowing who hasn’t or hasn’t done a meme yet, so if you see this on your dash and you haven’t done this yet CONSIDER YOURSELF TAGGED!!

OPENING LINES: List the first lines of your last 8 stories (if you  have  less than 8, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns.   Choose  your favorite opening line. Then tag 10 authors! or whatever!

I wasn’t sure whether to count a “series” of fic as all one thing, or a bunch of separate things, but ultimately decided with the former cause I think it gives a little more variety in the fics, and also makes the first lines actual absolute first lines, as opposed to anything picking up form where something else left off, if that makes sense, idk.

(on another note, I haven’t written or posted anything in a long as while, and it’s been a hot minute since I’ve even looked at my old stuff either, so this is gonna be interesting since I can’t really remember anything about anything lmao)

1: from Torment of Tantalus, Hannibal, Hannigram, rated E for Explicit

“Hannibal hadn’t touched him since they’d dragged themselves out of the ocean and into Chiyoh’s boat.”

2: from The Kiss, Hannibal, Hannigram, rated T for Teen

““You once claimed to have changed me.””

3: from Dormire et Excitare/”The Infinitives Series”,  Hannibal, Hannigram, rated E for Explicit

“Lately, Will had started thinking about sex with Hannibal.”

4: from You Are My Heart (Else I Would Cut You Out), hooboy I’d practically forgotten about this one Hannibal, Hannigram, rated E for Explicit like really no srsly read the warning on this one before reading

“There was no music but the clinking of cutlery.”

5: from Hands and Feet/“The Hands and Feet Verse”, Thor (movies), Loki/Thor, rated M for mature and E for Explicit this is another heavy warning one

““Get my belt and bring it here.””

6: from I'll Show You Mine, You Show Me Yours, Once Upon A Time, Archie Hopper/Mr Gold, rated E for Explicit

““I’m not…quite sure I understand what you’re proposing,” Gold said, brow creasing.”

7: from Camping, Star Trek TOS, Kirk/Spock, rated E for Explicit this one is actually probably one of my oldest fics from back in the day that I later uploaded to AO3, but I’m going in by order of posting there so here it is

““Camping?””

8: from Pushing Your Luck, Stargate Universe, Rush/Young, rated E for Explicit

“It didn’t start with dreams.”

AAAND the other part of this is supposed to be looking for patterns which, hoo boy, asking me to look at my own work without tearing it apart is a near Herculean task, but I’ll do my best. 

One thing I notice is there’s a bit of a tendency to jump right into things--a good number of them just start with dialogue, others are very quick mood/scene setters, and even the more “reflexive” or past oriented ones are kinda, idk, “this is what’s happening/this is what the character is thinking about RIGHT NOW (and what the story is gonna be about)” kinda deals. A lot of them feel actually kinda weird or abrupt to me, especially taken out of context? And, being generous, I think it’s cause I tend to put something very abrupt or that might not make much sense at first right up top, and then later in the next few paragraphs or pages back track a bit and give a bit more context. But I don’t really like to set up that context FIRST cause, idk, without that first bit it feels boring to me? Or maybe I’m just impatient, lol.  

Actually, now that I really think about it, while some of these might not show this on their own out of context, looking at them all together, and knowing what comes after, I’m realizing that nearly all of these are straight up Stating the Problem. Hannibal won’t touch Will and Will is bothered by this. Hannibal and Will have to come to terms with the profundity of how they have affected each other and what that means. Will is plagued by thoughts of Sexy Lecter and Sex With Sexy Lecter and has Complicated Feelings about this. Will and Hannibal aren’t talking at dinner because Reasons. Thor and Loki’s dad is an abusive asshole. Archie is trying to do a thing and Gold is Confused and maybe a little concerned frightened. Jim wants to go camping, and Spock doesn’t because Reasons. Rush is...well Rush is having a whole bunch of issues and upsetting dreams are just the start of that whole mess. Basically, the problem is stated, or at least strongly alluded to, then initially the problem is elaborated and/or expanded upon, and then the rest of the fic is resolving and/or making the problem worse. Basically. (And that makes it sound kinda fancy but let’s be real, a lot of the time the “problem” is “a person has complicated feelings and hangups about sex they wanna have” and “resolving the problem” is “they get over it and just fuck”, so let’s not have any pretentions here lol)   

Anyway, that’s my best stab at it, I’d of course love to hear what anyone else might have to say about it, but for now, there we are! Whatever that’s worth to ya’!

[cowboyshit]

Adam.... are you surprised? Lol Lucky number 13

the game! hit shuffle on my music playlist the amount of times as the number sent, then write a fanfic with the supplied wrestler x reader based on the song. here’s the hitch! to challenge my long winded self, the fic cannot exceed 1k words and the closer to 500 words I get, the better I’ve done! LETSA GO!!!!

the song: Matter of Time by Fitness

ship: hangman adam page x reader (any gender or nongender)

word count: 1379 (im sorry sjfdjkd i went over lmao)

rating: general? teen? there’s alcohol mentions and some thorsty thots

Squeezing the pillow tight to your face, you muffled the frustrated groan that wanted to slip out of your mouth with your eyes glued to the television screen. Hangman Adam Page was on the screen, purple floral-patterned button-up long-sleeve undone two buttons to show a tease of his chest, hands tilting a plastic cup of beer back and draining it sloppy, letting rivulets run down his chin and down his neck. You weren’t crazy about the taste of beer, but suddenly all you could think about was how badly you wanted to run your tongue along the path it left and cleaning it off his skin.

It was only after he was off-air that you could breathe and refocus, peeling the pillow from your face and exhaling long and slow. It wasn’t fair he could frustrate you so easily. It’d been years since you two had dated; childhood sweethearts with the world of opportunity laid out before you. Immaturity and mistakes drove you apart initially, and then it was time that left a yawning gap, and then it was distance to drive the final stake in the coffin on your relationship.

But your heart had always lamented. He was the one that got away.

And a month ago he’d found you on social media and messaged you, and your heart had beat too quickly in your chest and your fingers shook as you responded. The pair of you went back and forth in paragraphs, reconnecting, rekindling your old friendship. It was just like old times. Then he asked for your cell number, said it was easier to text the people he wanted to talk to than to deal with socializing on his media platforms where he was bombarded with constant notifications. It only took a few text messages before he was calling, and the pair of you had stayed up all night on the phone, laughing and talking into the morning.

You still hadn’t told him you’d been following his career since the start, too embarrassed to let him know you’d never extinguished the flame burning for him, but you’d confessed you knew he was wrestling on television. He at least knew you watched weekly. He knew you’d expressed fondness for the pearl-snap floral shirt he’d worn a few weeks back doing commentary. Somehow the way he was dressed tonight felt like a personal affront. Like now he was actively trying to do the things you mentioned you liked seeing, when the pair of you toed that dangerous line of flirting and slipping back into old habits. All it’d taken was one laugh of you pointing out how many times he played with the waistband on his trunks in the ring for him to tease you, asking you if you liked it, and for you to be so overwhelmed that you could only laugh and tell him to shut up.

And then he started doing it all the time.

Dynamite ended, and your night carried on per usual for a middle-of-the-week kind of night. By the time you were sliding into bed, setting your alarm and reaching to turn off the light, your phone started buzzing against the table. You glanced the caller i.d.: Hangman Adam Page. Your heart lifted into your chest and you took a breath before reaching to answer.

“Hel-” You didn’t even get a greeting out.

“Heeeyy!” Excited, boisterous, Hangman greeted you happily (and obviously drunk) as soon as you’d picked up.

“Well, hi.” You laughed. “Are you drunk dialing me?”

“No! I’m drunk but I’m not drunk dialing you I’m…” he trailed off and made a noise of thought under his breath, “I’m purposefully dialing you.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, he sounded so pleased with himself for coming up with it. He was definitely drunk. Though, with the way he’d been behaving lately, you weren’t surprised. The only thing that shocked you was the fact that he was calling you drunk… he’d never done that before. Maybe he just needed a friendly voice, you thought as you cradled the phone and slipped into bed, cuddling up under your mattress.

“Did I get you at a bad time?” He asked, country drawl gently slurred.

“No, not at all. I was just getting into bed.”

“Mm… wish I was there.” He murmured it so low, you almost wondered if you’d heard him wrong. Surely… surely you had, right?

“I watched you tonight,” you said, a little louder than necessary, trying to jump for a different conversation to steer your mind away.

“Oh, yeah?” He shifted – you could hear the movement with how close you pressed the phone to your ear. “Did you like my shirt?” He had to have been smiling, because you could hear it in his voice.

Jerk.

“I knew you wore that on purpose,” you laughed and heard him chuckle breathy and low.

“Didn’t answer my question though…”

You were blushing. “Yeah, dork. I liked it.”

“Good. I wore it for you.” Bold. To the point. Your heart jumped into your throat.

“For me? Really?”

“Of ‘course it was for you,” he almost sounded offended you needed clarification. “Who else?”

“I don’t know,” you shrugged and felt dumb, realizing he couldn’t see you do it. “Yourself?”

He laughed.

“I know this is pry the beer and the whiskey talkin’, but I’ve been meaning to bring something up between us and maybe I’m drunk enough for forget this happened by the morning if it doesn’t go the way I want it to.”

Your heart started beating harder and faster in your chest. You sat up and clung to the phone, eyes wide.

“I need you. I need… home. I’ve always needed you, if I’m bein’ honest, but lately with the situation I’m in and how lonely I’ve been feeling… you just… you came back into my life at the right moment, like fate showed me your name on social media when it did and brought you back to me when I’d need you most.  Any time I go, I come back to you. I never stopped dreaming about you, and… waking up next to someone else after thinking about you…” He blew a sigh through his lips, gently over the receiver. Drunk, lacking a filter, he was laying it all out for you and your mind was flying a thousand miles a minute just trying to keep up with the fact that this was reality and he was basically confessing that he had never stopped being in love with you. “It was only a matter of time before this happened and tonight I’m drunk and lonely enough to say fuck it.”

And even trying to pretend like he was okay if you told him you didn’t feel the same way, you couldn’t help but catch the way his words held an underlying tone of worry.

“I have to confess something first,” you said, heart pounding, “I haven’t been completely honest with you.”

He was dead silent. Waiting.

“I’ve actually been following your career since you were signed on with Bullet Club… I never stopped supporting you.”

“Are you serious?” He laughed, and you suddenly ached, wishing you could be there to see that you’d put a smile across his face.

“Yeah,” you said, smiling too. “I know we made a lot of mistakes, but we were dumb kids… and truth is, I’ve never stopped loving you, Adam.”

“Shit…” He exhaled with surprise, clearly expecting this conversation to go a different way.  “I mean, uh, wow. I… yeah? Never?”

“Yeah. I never stopped.”

“Me too.” There was a pause while the two of you just sat on the phone, smiling, hearts full and minds racing. Adam laughed. “Shit, now I really hope I’m not too drunk, so I can remember this in the morning.”

“You better remember this in the morning, cowboy, because I’m going to be over at your house for dinner and I expect enough kisses to make up for all the years we’ve missed.”

He laughed again. “Okay, okay, I’ll remember. Promise.” Another laugh and then, “oh and don’t you worry your pretty little head off,” his country drawl deepen, “I plan to make up for lost time in many, many different ways and you’re gonna love every single one.”

Every time I goI come back, I come back, don't you knowHey baby it's just a matter of timeEvery time I dream of youI wake up next to someone new

Hey baby it's just a matter of time

Time time time time timeTime time time time

[lunatens]

ghost of you

pairing: ghost!han jisung x gender neutral reader

word count: 1.3k

genre: fluff, platonic, ghost!au

warnings: mentions of death (it is a ghost au after all)

a/n: I got the idea for this a sUPER long time ago lmao I got inspired by the song ghost of you by 5sos but then I wasn’t feeling angsty and emo and sad so I just made it cute and fluffy and that’s why it’s platonic bc I feel like romance would get super angsty idk aNYWAYS !! I hope this is good I might write more for this au  if people are interested? (also it was originally gonna be about hyunjin but then idk jisung fit better somehow lol)

~

“is that the last of it?” minho asks, dusting off his hands after he sets what seems like the millionth cardboard box on the floorboards of your new apartment. 

“i think so? thanks again for all the help minho, it would’ve taken me so long to do this all by myself.” you and minho have spent all day moving everything in, blaring tunes and taking (too many) snack breaks. it was fun, but it was a lot of work, and now you’re tasked with decorating the place. minho waves goodbye before heading out the door. you listen to him go down the three flights of stairs, get in his car and pull out of the tiny parking lot. you’re alone at last, and you take a moment to enjoy the blissful silence; no more annoying roommates to wake you up too early in the morning or steal your food or take too-long showers. minho and a few of your other friends have invited themselves over tomorrow night for dinner (you agreed only if they promised to provide all the food), so you’re determined to make your new place look all nice before they come--needless to say, you’ve got a pretty busy 24 hours coming up. you brush thei hair from your eyes, grab the exacto knife from the kitchen counter, and set to work opening box after box of your belongings.

***

several hours have passed; the kitchen and bathroom are both done, leaving just the common area and your room. there’s cardboard everywhere--you promise yourself you’ll clean it up tomorrow. besides your bed in the corner and the small bookshelf you’ve spent the last two hours building, your room is completely empty. you let out a heavy sigh, picking a new playlist on spotify before beginning the process of decorating your room. it’s not long before you’re standing tippy-toed as you lean awkwardly over your desk to flatten a poster of your favourite band on the wall.

“it’s crooked, just fyi,” a voice rings out from behind you. you scream in shock, tripping over your desk chair as you turn around to face the source of the voice. you land with a dull thud and a groan on your hardwood floor. a face appears above yours, eyebrows furrowed in concern. the face belongs to a boy who looks about the same age as you, although unlike you, he’s slightly translucent and gives off a pale blue glow.

“are you okay? wow, you’re pale--you look as though you’ve just seen a ghost! HAHA! that was pretty funny, right?” the boy says, giggling at his own joke. you sit up and stare wide eyed and sheet-faced at him. as you process what he said, connecting it to his appearance, you open your mouth to let out another shriek. the boy glides over to you, worry washed over his face.

“no no no!! please don’t be scared! well, actually i guess that’s a lot to ask. don’t scream though, it’s really loud and hurts my ears and might concern the neighbours,” he asks, sitting cross legged in front of you on the floor. you shut your mouth, dumbfounded. 

“okay, let’s take this slow, alright? i’m jisung, you’re y/n from what i heard earlier, right?” the ghost asks. he speaks softly and slowly, clearly trying to avoid setting you off again. you nod silently.

“cool! so i uh, imagine this is a bit of a shock to you, but basically, yes, i’m a ghost. oooh, spooky,” jisung says, waving his hands for effect. he giggles at himself. 

“a ...ghost..” you repeat, trying to make sense of this situation. jisung nods enthusiastically.

“see? you’ve got it! honestly that was easier than i thought it would be. anyways, i came here to tell you i’ve been watching you decorate your apartment for the past couple hours, and you have a terrible sense of interior design. like, really bad.”

“so--wait, hold up. you’re telling me first of all, ghosts are real, and second of all, there's one right in front of me who’s here to judge my interior design abilities?” you ask in disbelief. 

“well, lack thereof--i wouldn’t say you have any abilities. but yes, that’s all true,” jisung says.

“okay,”

“okay?”

“okay.” you take in a deep breath; time to reassess your entire life. 

“...can i touch you?” you ask after a long pause. jisung just smiles shyly and holds his arm out.

“go for it,” he says, and you gasp as your fingers pass right through him. the air feels a little cold where his arm is supposed to be, but otherwise there’s nothing.

“woah.”

“i know, this is probably pretty freaky for you. but get used to it, because i’m not going anywhere any time soon! i’ve decided you’re my new bff, sorry you don’t get a say in this. now let's finish setting things up, and i can help you make things look less terrible,” jisung says with a grin and a wink, and you glare at him in response.

***

it’s deep in the late hours of the night, or rather early in the morning, when you finally finish as much as you’re going to do tonight. there’s still a couple boxes of miscellaneous objects and such, but you shove them in your closet with the promise to deal with them another time. as you cleaned and decorated, you learned a lot about jisung, who trailed along after you rambling on about his life story with the occasional interruption of “maybe move that to the right just a tad” or “don’t you think this would look better on that shelf over there?”

you learn jisung is, in fact, the same age as you--or at least he was when he died. he and his family were killed in a car accident a couple years back, and he finds it more entertaining to lurk around the mortal world rather than mope around with other ghosts all the time. he mostly haunts his old house, although it’s been abandoned the last couple years, so he spends most of his time lounging around inside walls and clanging on pipes and spooking the occasional stray cat that decides to venture into the small home in search of food. today, however, he was so rudely awoken by the various sounds of you and minho carrying all your stuff up to your third-floor apartment in the building next door. he decided to take a peek (all the other residents of the building are “boring old people” in his terms) and thought you seemed interesting, so he stuck around. which brings you to where you are currently; you sprawled out on your bed, eyes closed in exhaustion, with jisung perched on the top of your desk chair asking you questions about your life.

“are you gonna get any pets?”

“minho is bringing over my pet toad tomorrow, he’s been babysitting her while i move.”

“okay that’s good, cats and dogs don’t seem to like me too much, but toads are fine. who’s minho?”

“the boy who helped me move in today,”

“oooh, is he your boyfriend?”

“what? no, no definitely not.”

“you’re blushing.”

“no i’m not! it’s just hot in here. can you open the window?”

“...i’m a ghost.”

“right. we’re just friends by the way, me and minho.”

“mhm….okay, whatever you say. but don’t think i didn’t see you checking him out when he picked up those boxes!”

“jisung?”

“yeah?”

“shut up.”

jisung opens his mouth as if to reply, but shuts it after thinking for a moment. the room is filled with a comfortable silence, and you find yourself giving in to the heavy blanket of sleep beginning to wash over you. it’s not long before you’re snoring lightly, passed out on top of your bed still in your clothes from the day. jisung chuckles to himself, wondering how he ended up with someone so dorky as a neighbour as he glides out through your window and through the night air back to his dark and empty house.

[integrationslady]

FMLS90 Week 5 Challenge

I didn’t really do any of the challenge prompts this week because this week was effing crazy for me. It seems like every time I do FMLS90 there’s one week that falls at a time where my life is just refusing to allow me to follow what we’re talking about, like the first time I did it when the sleep week fell during a work conference so I was staying up till 2 every night. This time I just had a ton of social obligations all at once and most of them meant I wasn’t preparing my own food, which is something I usually do about 85% of the time. But I did think about the prompts and how they fit into my life, so I figured instead of “doing” the challenge I’d talk about it:

Try making at least one meatless or Vegan Meal. If you are feeling adventurous, do Meatless Monday for the full month! Share your findings with us.

I am definitely not a vegetarian, but I also definitely do not eat meat for every meal or even every day. Some of it is a deliberate decision to eat less meat, some of it ends up coming out of poor planning and not having any non-frozen meat available, and some of it is simply because I don’t feel like eating meat right then. Some of my go to meatless meals:

Spaghetti

Veggie pizza (bonus if it’s homemade)

Baked potato with TONS of veggies (basically a salad on top of a potato)

Sesame noodles

Portabello Mushroom burgers (using the mushroom as the burger I mean)

Make a pictorial food journal for 3 days. Take a picture of everything you eat and post it here or send it your accountability partner(s.)

So I talked a little about this, it would’ve made me just decide I wasn’t hungry. Or I would’ve forgotten after the first meal and just given up.

Try Something new! Is there one healthy food you have always wanted to try but never have? Do it and tell us about it. (Mine was Dragon Fruit.)

I do really like to try new recipes. I mean I have my go-tos, but I get bored making the same thing every week. But since I basically didn’t cook all week, I didn’t really have an opportunity for this one.

Flash back to Week 2, preparation and do some precooking or freezer meals and share with the team.

Same as above, just didn’t have enough time in my own kitchen.

Build a weekly meal plan. Run with it for a week and report back how well you stuck with it. What did you learn?

I do typically plan my dinners ahead of time, at least like the basics (like, I’ll decide I’m having chicken Tuesday even if I don’t know how I’ll cook it or what I’ll eat with it). But last week it basically looked like: paint and sip so grab something between work and the event, DND so we’ll order pizza, dinner date downtown, birthday dinner for a friend. I mean I guess that technically counts as a meal plan, but something tells me it’s not the intent here lol.

Spend 5-10 min checking out the FMLS90 tag. Make an effort to reach out to people you do not know and provide support and encouragement.

I’m bad about the reaching out part, but I do definitely like to take time to read and like as many posts as possible each week.

[balaqlava]

What help you when you are going through depression?

Hey anon, I hope you’re feeling okay! If you’re going through a rough patch and need someone to talk to or just vent at or whatever, please feel free to hmu. Be nice to yourself xIf you’re able, do your basics and reward yourself at the same time:

• empty the bin - that hum you’re getting ever time you walk into the kitchen is only making you feel worse.• do the dishes and then make yourself a special lunch or snack.• make your bed but put your favourite sheets on.• tidy your room but re-arrange while you’re doing it, go through all the nice little things you’ve collected and stored, put things that make you feel happy out on display.• get yourself washed but maybe opt for a soak instead of a shower, stick a bath bomb in there, put some candles around the room; slather yourself in nice smelling body butter after.• get yourself dressed, put on whatever makes you feel nicest; doesn’t matter if it’s old or baggy or fancy or something you wouldn’t feel comfortable wearing in front of other people - you’ll feel a hundred times more ‘yourself’ than you will if you stay in your pyjamas, trust me.• go for a walk - long, short, who cares, just however long you feel like. fire up a good playlist.

If you’re not able? Don’t sweat it, don’t beat yourself up. You’re allowed to have bad days; you’re sick, not lazy. You can do that stuff later, or tomorrow, just focus on getting better right now. Some dumb stuff that I think helps during a really shitty episode —

• hot drinks! you need a hug in a mug - a BIG mug - so make some tea or coffee or hot chocolate. make mulled wine or a hot whiskey if you’re feeling fancy!• your favourite video games - bonus points if they’re nostalgic and you played them as a kid. my girlfriend plays the sims. last year i replayed all of wild arms and digimon world. download an emulator like ePSXe (playstation) or VisualBoy Advance (gameboy), or check out PokéMMO!• do you use pinterest? i only ever seem to look at pinterest when i’m feeling awful but it’s actually a really nice distraction: make silly little moodboards; plot what your dream room would look like; find a recipe for something warm and sweet, or something comforting for dinner; learn how to do a fancy braid or to draw anatomy or to speak some basic… russian.• i know how tempting it is to wallow and listen to sad music but try to find something happy and upbeat instead! balkan music really cheers me up lol. and pop punk music. and ska/reggae. and hip hop! foooorce yourself to listen to music you like when you’re happy! you wont be feeling it at first but you’ll hopefully start to come round after a little while.• speaking of music, if you dunno what you wanna listen to, i have two go-tos: the infamous lofi hip hop radio AND radiooooo, the musical time machine.• binge a tv show you love, even if you’ve seen it a hundred times! i watched a really cute, chill anime called mushishi the last time i got bad and it really helped. here’s a site to help you find suggestions based on shows you already like, it’s really cool.• i don’t really watch stand up comedy much but it’s worth trying when you feel low, and netflix seems to have a decent selection! i really like dylan moran and tim minchin. people seem to love john mulaney? bo burnham? give it a go!• read comics or manga! if you’re like me, depression really affects your concentration and it can be hard to read something dense like a novel (which sucks bc reading really helps) - it’s much easier to cope with comics and manga and the art is cool too!•can you drive? or can a friend, if you feel up for having company? load up a map of your surrounding area, close your eyes and drop your finger somewhere random. go on a mini roadtrip. doesn’t matter if there’s nothing of note there, just look around and get to know the place, take some photos for instagram! for an hour, that place is your place.• ben. and. jerry’s.

As soul-crushing as it is, sometimes stuff just doesn’t work and you still feel shitty. It’s okay. This will pass.

When I just can’t climb out of the hole, I make myself go to sleep, time of day be damned. Not that tired? Try some sleepy time tea. A weird thing that works for me: listening to background sounds like heavy rain on a car roof or a snowstorm, or ASMR (x, x, x).

[sapphicsurveys]

Have you ever given a public speech? Fun story -- I got nominated for a Pathfinder award in high school and gave an impromptu speech even though we weren’t supposed to. When was the last time you sat in the back seat of a car? Today. I can’t drive. When was the last time you had a checkup? A few months ago? Have you ever cried in a movie theater? Just a week ago, with Call Me By Your Name...it was absolutely a sensory overload, in a good way... Has a stranger ever stared at you in public? Always. Not in a horny way. In a creeped-out way. Have you ever had anything stolen from you? Not intentionally on their part...as far as I know. Starting in what grade were crayons excluded from your school supply list? High school. Were you heartbroken? No, I’ve always hated colouring (and handwriting) because I have an extremely unsteady hand. When was your last run-in with the police? One of my parents’ driving fuckups.  Are you a good sport or a sore loser? Sore loser. Do you read comic books? No, and never did. Have you ever been so emotional it left people speechless? All the time, the intensity of the things I feel scares people off sometimes. It’s not anger, I’m never angry. It’s like....a bunch of miscellaneous shooting colours and a cool splash of water. That’s how I’d describe my emotions. When was the last time you threw up? Last year. Do you intentionally sing poorly in front of people to avoid a critique? No. I always try. But I always believe I’ve failed afterwards. Do you force your way into conversations in which you are not involved? Too often. What did you/what will you do on your 18th birthday? Went to Cafe Tu Tu Tango and started my failed university experience. When was the last time you had a dream with a premonition in it? A few days ago, but I can’t remember what it was. Did it come true? I think it did? I can’t tell since I don’t remember the original dream. Have you ever seriously pretended to be clinically insane? I HAVE been clinically insane. I might still be. Are there any words you cannot spell correctly, no matter how hard you try? No. Do you know anyone with a stutter? Misha from Armenia!! LMAO it was adorable to watch interviews with him. With a lisp? Nope. Do you doodle more on page borders or on entire pages? Borders. Have you ever been in a newspaper? When I was 3, with this creepy-looking Easter Bunny. Have you ever been on TV? Yes, for a fundraiser event I was at. What was the last board game you played? Monopoly. Did you win? That game has no end in sight. When was the last time you tried to speak with an accent? Sometimes I do it for fun to see if people can tell if I’m faking it. What was the accent? An ambiguous one. Have you ever made up a word before? Yes. Did you get anyone else to use it? Don’t think so. Are all 4 of your biological grandparents alive? Only my maternal grandma, and I’d never met any of the other 3. What is/was your GPA? 3.0 in high school, TBA for first semester of college. When was the last time you used a flashlight? During the hurricane. When was the last time you went to a museum? It was either an art museum down here with my grandma or the Gugenheim in NY with my mom. Do you have anything from IKEA in your room? Nope. If you were watching TV now instead of doing this, what would you watch? TLC, they have the funnest, dumbest reality shows. Or truTV for Impractical Jokers. When was the last time you played MASH? Elementary school. *** You live in a capital city. You live in an apartment. You live with a roommate.  You drive your own car. You know how to ride a motorbike. You have a motorbike license. You’ve crashed a car. You’ve crashed a motorbike. You are twenty years old. You have half-siblings. You’ve been cheated on. You don’t want a relationship right now. You’ve broken bones in your face. You’ve had stitches. You don’t wear a lot of colours. You never wear open-toed shoes. You prefer shopping in person so you can try clothes on. You buy most of your clothes online for convenience. One of your favourite vegetables is broccoli. One of your favourite fruits is pear. You’ve volunteered for a concert or festival. You aren’t too good at drawing or painting. You are good at colouring, though. You always seem to have cuts on your hands. You almost always have two jobs. You’ve had a lot of jobs throughout your life. You love superheroes. Daredevil is your favourite Marvel superhero. You think Marvel is better than DC.  You watch a lot of movies and TV shows. You’ve been high on marijuana, but you don’t like it. You feel that drumming is what you were born to do. You live in a place where light pollution prevents you from seeing stars. You had head lice several times when you were a kid. You hated gym class in school, but like being active. You get bored very quickly if you don’t have anything to keep you occupied. You know how to edit and master music tracks. You eat more meatless meals than meat ones. (but I LOVE meat) Dark chocolate is your kryptonite. You collect keychains. You want to earn a Bachelor’s degree.  You often have issues with your back. You find yourself daydreaming about random stuff a lot. You smoke and wish you could quit once and for all. Your smoking habits have pissed off people you love and care about. You have a pet dog. You really value your sleep and can sleep for long periods at a time. You are good at keeping track of things in your own head. You’re proud of your own achievements. You live a comfortable life and you’re happy. *** Have you ever felt like you were being crushed by an invisible weight?: 24/7, although it’s not really invisible, because I know what’s causing it. Have you ever looked back and realized that it’s been ages since you cried?: No, I cry on a weekly basis. Do you ever wish you could go back to kindergarten?: Never. I would never turn back time. Do you have a ‘good side’?: Yes. Would you rather spend your whole life in the light, or in the dark?: In the dark, as long as I could see somehow. Like, in nighttime. Basically I’d rather have all night and no day. Do you have a good luck charm?: My online bestie. Has anyone ever sang to you, just for you?: Yes. What’s the longest phone conversation you’ve ever had?: *puke emoji* Is there anyone that you have trouble saying goodbye to?: Yes. Do your friends like the person you’re dating/crushing on?: I have a crush on everyone in the world. Do you care if your parents approve of the people you date?: It would be awkward if they didn’t, but it’s not a dealbreaker. If asked to pick a number between one and five, what number would you pick?: The previous person’s answer biased me, so I can’t answer this one. Do you use Skype to talk to your friends?: Only iTalki language partners. In your opinion is calling easier than texting?: It’s easier. I hate calling just to talk, but I prefer calling if I need to say or hear something important. I will hang up right after hearing what I need to hear. Name all the people you’ve hugged today: Mom. Is there anything that you want to say right now to someone?: I’ve already said my piece to everyone I can think of. If you married the last person you texted, what would your last name be?: It would be the same, LOL. Please don’t make me marry my parent. *puke emoji [2]* About how many times a day do you use the backspace button?: A million times. Actually, I used it just now. I make a lot of typos because I rush my typing. Are you allergic to any animals?: Cats, a little bit. Do you know anyone who smokes?: Yes, a lot of my mom’s friends. Do you usually spend your weekends out, or at home?: Out to dinner. Do you miss anyone right now?: Yes! How far away is your next birthday?: About 7 months away. Have you ever felt completely lost?: Yes, but then I always found my way back around again. What’s the stupidest question anyone could ever ask you?: There are an endless amount of those. Do you think it’s wrong for people to say 'retard/retarded’ as an insult?: Yes. What swear word do you use most often?: "Fucking” as an adjective, probably. Have you ever had to go to the police department?: Thankfully not. Have you ever lived through a hurricane?: I live in Florida. What do you think? Have you ever wished you could disappear?: Yes. Can you name all the candidates in the previous presidential election?: Yes. Do you eat organic foods?: Sure, but I don’t consciously think about it. Have you ever had a home grown tomato?: No. Have you ever held a real gun?: No. Would you rather wear Converse or Vans?: I don’t care what brand my sneakers are, as long as they fit nicely. Is there a song that reminds you of someone?: Of course. Have you ever been called bipolar?: I actually am bipolar. Bipolar 2. Do you think Facebook can be safe if you’re smart about what you post?: No. I’m addicted to Facebook and it’s destructive for me. But even for people who rarely use it, there are always dangers that someone will doxx you or try to get your account reported. Have you ever made fun of a handicapped person?: No. Do you think it’s okay to have sex before marriage?: Obviously. But if you’re straight, you should really use protection as long as you don’t want a baby. What are your views on abortion?: Undecided. Have you ever liked a book that you had to read for school?: The Great Gatsby was outstanding. Do you have any mosquito bites?: Again: I live in Florida. What do you think? Have you pulled an all-nighter in the last week?: No. Are there posters on your walls?: So many. Do you play any video games?: No. Have you ever been called a wimp?: Does anyone actually use that insult? When was the last time you made fun of someone else?: I never make fun of people for things they can’t help. Have you ever been jealous?: 24/7. Do you like to watch old sitcoms?: No. They depress me. Are there actually books on your bookshelf?: A bunch of old ones from when I was a kid. Have you ever tried any kind of diet?: For, like, a week. LOL. Could you go out in public wearing what you are now?: Yeah, I’m still wearing my clothes from class. If asked, could you run a mile nonstop right now?: Never. Do you follow a daily routine?: I’ve just started one recently. Do you have to plan your days out meticulously or are you spontaneous?: I like to be spontaneous, but at the same time I’m obsessed with order and structure. Both... Are you allowed to go over to the opposite sex’s house?: LOL. Do you think people’s idea of a 'date’ has changed over the years?: I think back in the day, it was more common for people to fuck on a first date. Nowadays, there’s a whole game to the dating scene. Have you ever given someone a friendship bracelet?: When I was in elementary school. Do you wear those rubber wristbands?: No. How does your behavior around adults differ from around friends?: I’m an adult. If a necklace/ring gives you green marks, do you still wear it?: I don’t wear jewelry at all, anyway. Do you have public display of affection issues, or do you not care?: I'm a hypocrite. I love partaking in PDA, but I hate to see anyone else doing it. How soon is too soon to kiss a boyfriend/girlfriend?: Never. Just do it when it feels right. It’s just a kiss, after all. Do you hate it when people try to pressure you into doing something?: Yes. What instrument do you play, if any?: None. I used to be able to play a bit of the piano and flute. Has anyone ever taken your breath away?: In the literal sense, only things like music and films have done that to me. Do you like to walk around town, or would you rather take a car?: Walk, listen to music, feel the nature, and watch the scenery, so long as the weather outside is nice, or at least bearable. Does time usually pass by too fast for you?: Too fast and too slow. What’s the sweetest thing the gender of your choice could ever do for you?: Be spontaneous with me. Do you think it’s mean for people to use 'gay’ as an insult?: Yes. Is there anyone that you’d drop everything to go see?: Yes. Have you comforted anyone lately?: Yes. *** 01. How often do you walk around barefoot? 24/7 so long as I’m in the house. 02. When you eat take-out, do you just eat it out of the containers provided? I prefer that to plates, I like eating out of and with plastic things because there’s no germs or residue. 03. How do you prefer to travel? Plane, train, driving? Plane, because I have big dreams of the places I want to see. 04. Would you need to sleep with someone before considering marrying them? Definitely. 05. How often do you make your bed? There’s no point if you’re just going to mess it up again. 07. Do you carry condoms? I’m a lesbian, so I don’t really need them. 08. Would you date someone who has a hearing aid? Yes! 09. If you were to be stuck on a deserted tropical island, how big would you like the island to be? Big, but not too big where it feels like an abyss. 10. How organized are the files on your computer? Disorganized. 11. Have you ever been to a strip club? It’s on my bucket list. 12. Have you ever brought home a stray animal? No, but it’s always been a dream of mine. I want to help all the cute animals. 13. Did you have a childhood hero? Were they real or fictional? Hero? Don’t think so. 14. If you are put on hold and the music playing is a song you know, do you sing along? It is always elevator music. 15. Are you physically strong? More than I thought before. 16. Would you date someone with braces? No, it would cause too much tearing with physical contact. 17. Does scuba diving interest you? No. 18. Would you ever ask your parents for relationship advice? I have, but I feel gross doing it. 19. Do you think people look up to you? People tell me they do, but I don’t believe them. 20. How often do you have trouble sleeping at night? Never. I fall right asleep like a baby. 21. Can you drive a manual transmission? I can’t drive at all. 22. Have you ever re-gifted a gift you didn’t care for? My mom did it for me when I was little. Now that I’m older I appreciate every gift I receive. 23. Do you ever rehearse conversations before you have them? If it’s with someone I have a crush on. 24. You notice someone staring intently at you, what do you do? Stare right back at them, and make it somewhat of a contest. 25. Do you blush easily? Yes!! 26. Do you get angry at yourself or at others more often? Myself! I seldom get angry at others but I’m one of the people who is most hard on themselves in the world, I think. 27. Can you name five current world leaders? Yes. 28. When taking a cab, do you talk to the driver? I’ve taken an Uber twice. I didn’t want to, but they both initiated conversation, so I went along with it. 29. Do you like word games like Scrabble or Boggle? I love words, so yes. 30. Would you consider dating a psychiatrist or psychologist? Sure, but only if they are actually good in their field. I don’t want someone to try explaining all my behaviors in our relationship if they don’t know the first thing about how brains actually work. *** What is the current advertisement above?: There is none. Have you ever played tic tac toe on your arm in sharpie?: No. Has one of your friends ever tried to ‘hook you up?’: We’ve joked about it, but it never came to fruition. Do you prefer landmarks or street names when being given directions?: Landmarks. Do you read the prologues in the beginnings of books?: Not if it’s assigned reading. I know, it should be the other way around. Don’t bug bites make you sad?: They could be easily prevented, if my parents just listened to me and didn’t leave the front door open when they’re in the middle of something. Does your house have more than one fireplace?: It doesn’t have any. I repeat: I live in Florida. Would you say that you’re better in Math or English?: English, of course. What was your favourite gym class moment?: None. Have you ever watched The Mask Of Zorro?: Nope. If I were to give you a pet camel, what would you name it?: Todd. Do you think that ocean boardwalks are fun?: They’re gorgeous and wonderful and everything good in the world. When it rains does it leave a lake in your front yard?: Nope. What colour is your music device?: It’s my phone, and it’s either gold or rose gold, I can’t remember/tell. Your opinion on all of the new Disney/Nick stars with upcoming CDs?: Let me just say, Andi Mack is an amazing show! Okay, that’s it. Would you please make me some food?: I only know how to make a few things. Do you dread when people ask you to sign their yearbooks?: That was such a fun activity, I always wrote something cheeky. Does Harry Potter eat chicken nuggets?: No, they only have the highest quality of cuisine at Hogwarts. Does your mum watch Judge Judy too much?: That reminds me, she just got recruited for Jury Duty, LOL. Where is one place that you’d never be caught dead in?: A lingerie shop. Apple Jacks; Yay or nay?: I like cereal that’s actually cereal, not candy. Have you ever watched the movie Driving Lessons?: Never heard of it. Favourite candle scent?: I like all, except the fresh laundry and beach ones. Coke or Pepsi brand sodas?: Coke, is that even a question? If you could live in a world of your own, would you make everything madness?: The world we live in right now is utter madness. Do you have a favourite Scooby-Doo movie?: No. Have you ever been invited to a clam bake?: WTF?? Do storms frequently knock out your power?: Sometimes. Do you enjoy taking polls?: Yep! Do you dislike when people ruin the endings of anything for you?: Depends on how much I care about the series/movie that I’m going to watch. Do you think it’s cute when toddlers try to run away and fall down?: Toddlers and babies are gross, not cute. Have you ever eaten a penny?: ???? What is the last cartoon that you have watched?: Bojack Horseman...I THINK. Have you ever played Disc Golf or Ultimate Frisbee?: No. Cheez-its; yay or nay?: YAY! What is your favourite flavour of PopTart?: S’mores. Do you tan easily in the summertime?: No, I burn. Have you ever been to a funeral?: Yes, but I barely knew the guy, even though he was a family member. Do you enjoy listening to your grandparents tell stories of their past?: Yes, my grandma has some nice stories. Currently, what is going on around you?: I am listening to a white noise track on YouTube, because it’s the only way I can concentrate on anything. Can you read a compass well?: Not at all. If platypuses weren’t poisonous, would you have one for a pet?: No. *** do you ever wish you could just go to sleep and never wake up? Dying in my sleep is one of my biggest fears. do you want to have any children? if so, how many? Never. how many piercings have you had in your life all together? Ear piercings, but I made them close up. how many do you have now? Zero. do you have a problem with bisexual, gay, or bicurious people? I’m a lez myself. do you use hearts like this <3 a lot? Yep! <3 what were you doing at 12 AM? Filling out this survey, it’s been taking me so long, but I’m enjoying every minute of it. do you like where you live? Yes, but I’d hate to live here forever. how’s your sister? I have two half-sisters, but I never see them. is anyone over protective of you? My mom!!! have you ever made someone so mad that they broke something? I don’t recall. what color is your toothbrush? Multicoloured.  is there someone who meant a lot to you at one point, and isn’t around now? Yes. what do you do when you’re having a bad day? Try to sleep, but then my thoughts are too distracting, so I take a walk. where is your mother right now? Sleeping. when was the last time you cried really hard? Seeing Call Me By Your Name in theatres. let’s test your memory, what were you doing at this exact moment a year ago? What a whack question. do you smoke weed everyday? I’ve only smoked it once, and I don’t plan on smoking it again. if the year consisted of only one season, which would you choose? Spring. have you ever liked someone older than you? Story of my life. who was the last person to call you? Mom. are you multi-tasking right now? Nope. what is the most irritating thing? Intimate sounds from people I dislike...I know that’s oddly specific. are you a patient person? No. do you ever listen to country music? Never. do you get mad when people smoke around you? Yes, I’m worried about secondhand smoke. did you lie on any of these questions so far? No. do you remember who you liked in january? It’s January right now. is life good or bad? Depends on the day. are you the oldest child? No. what was the last thing you said to someone? I don't remember. are you happy? Depends on the day. ever been told someone loved you? Yes. who was your last missed call? Too lazy to check. do you like cold and rainy days, or warm and sunny? Warm and cool at the same time. are you nervous about anything? Always. are you happier now, or three months ago? Now. what’s your current mood? Nervous. what color are your eyes? Hazel. do you and your mother have a good relationship? It’s complicated. do you know anyone with literally no common sense? Me. have you ever worn the opposite sex’s clothing? It’s my preference. honestly and don’t lie how's your heart these days? Overly passionate. have you ever had a summer romance? No. looking back, did you ever think you would be where you are now? No. do you remember who you had feelings for in december 2009? Yes. is a best friend pissing you off right now? Yes. what woke you up this morning? My alarm. do you have a brother? Half-brother whom I’ve never met. are you sad right now? Yes. do you like winter time? No. was it a boy or a girl to text you first today? Girl. what are you listening to right now? White noise. when was the last time you wanted to slap someone in their face? Today. are you scared of spiders? Yes. do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? I give endless chances. do you have siblings over the age of 21? All three of them. when’s the last time you cried yourself to sleep? Yesterday. do you struggle to articulate your thoughts and feelings? I know them way too well, actually. do you believe in divorce? I believe you shouldn’t get married in the first place. do you think you’re old? No. where have you lived throughout your life? New York and Florida. what’s the greatest thing that happened to you today? My first philosophy class. has anyone said they love you in the last week? Yes. would you rather visit australia, germany, croatia or jamaica? Croatia x10000 when was the last time you saw your dad? Today. if your boyfriend or girlfriend smoked pot, would you care? Only if it was daily. have you ever camped out with a significant other? I’ve never camped out at all. what keeps you awake at night? Nothing. As I said, I fall asleep like a baby. how many times have you stayed in a hotel? A lot. what does your third text message say? who is it from? Too lazy, again! plans for tomorrow? Two university classes. honestly, what’s on your mind right now? I'm tired but I want to complete this survey. other than a person, what was the last thing you cuddled with? My dog, of course. where was the last place you got completely wasted? I’ve never gotten completely wasted. do you need/want new clothes? I need them. I don’t want them. what did you eat for lunch today? A Dunkin’ Donuts wake-up wrap. how would you feel about traveling abroad alone? It’s my dream. what was the last thing you watched on tv? The Golden Globes (and I was disappointed with the results, of course, if you were paying attention to my previous answers on this survey.) when is the last time you wore a dress? For Christmas, I think? do you prefer hot, humid weather or bone-chilling cold weather? Hot and humid weather. last person you yelled at? Mom. have you ever watched one tree hill? No. who did you last have an alcoholic drink with? The guests at the Christmas party. are you afraid of falling in love? No, I love the feeling. what color eyes does your cat have? I have a dog, not a cat. what is the drinking age where you live? 21. do you lead people on? I’m very direct. how do you feel about your hair right now? It's up in a ponytail. I recently found a shampoo that works perfectly with it. have you ever thought that you were honestly going to die? Yes. who did you last say i love you to? My online bestie. when is your birthday? June 20th. is there any emotion you’re trying to avoid right now? One that I want to get rid of, but I acknowledge it. do you ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts? No. when did you last hold hands with someone? Oh God, it’s been a while. can you touch your nose with your tongue? No. stalked someone on a social network? 24/7. are you afraid of the dark? No. have you ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? Yes. have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? Story of my life, again. 1) Have you ever read the play “Waiting for Godot?” Did you like it? I haven't. 2) Do you actually like the early Simpsons episodes? I don’t watch The Simpsons. 3) Do you ever get horrible back pains? I’m actually getting adjustments at the Chiropractor for them. I have bent nerves in my back. 4) Do you ever nick the free things they put in hotel rooms (soaps, biscuits, chocolates, etc.)? Yep. 5) How often does it snow where you are? Does it interrupt your day-to-day life? Never. 6) How often do your knees crack when you stand up/crouch down? Always. 7) What’s your favourite flavour of Pringles? Sour cream and onion. That’s a flavor, isn’t it? 8) Do you have an ex that acts really weird with you sometimes, but absolutely fine with you at other times? No. 9) Have you ever been skiing/snowboarding before? Did you like it? I haven’t. 10) Do you do your own grocery shopping or not? Nope. 11) Are you on the pill? Is it for contraception or for other reasons? I am, to make my periods lighter and to balance my hormones. 12) Is someone in your family affected by Asperger’s? I am. 13) Are you addicted to any kind of soda? Ginger ale. 14) Have you ever eaten sugar straight out of the packet? No, gross. 15) Do programmes about bad eating habits make you want to sit and eat junk food? Quite the opposite. 16) Do you ever get worried about calling up strangers on the phone (eg. in hotels or for jobs)? Always. 17) In a hotel do you always nose through all the drawers and cupboards? Yes, it’s so much fun! 18) How often do you crack your back? Often. 19) Is your keyboard missing any keys? No way. 20) Are you afraid of flying or do you enjoy it? Or is it just normal to you? I love it! I love being above the clouds and the world looking miniature compared to me. 21) Have you ever flown to another country by yourself? Not yet. 22) What can you see out of the window right now? Nothing, I have the blinds closed. 23) Is your phone/iPod charging right now? No. 24) Do you like Elvis Presley’s music? No. 25) Do you live outside the United States? No. 26) If so, does it bug you when surveys are really Americanised? -- 27) Do you still watch Futurama? Never did. 28) Do you watch reality shows? Which one is the worst in your opinion? Yes, and all of them are the worst. 29) What size bed do you have? Twin-sized. It’s so goddamn small. 30) Do you get really bad periods? If so, what do you do to make them less painful? Not ever since I’ve been taking the pill.