#Barrel Head Design

[bourbonanbarrelnorth]

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[dizzybizz]

sleepy gill and gill with the bubbled evil cat

[neptune-scythe]

I bet Kaz has a habit of resting his middle finger on the shaft of his cane when he's just standing around

Thus accidentally (or maybe not accidentally) giving everyone the finger at all times

[svtskneecaps]

ok folks this lives and dies between us but i swear to god with every passing moment and every new fact i learn i am more and more convinced that had i spoken portuguese at age 11 when i got into minecraft youtube the first time i would BEYOND A SHADOW OF A DOUBT have had a tiny little baby 11 year old celebrity crush on pactw

[monty-glasses-roxy]

For some reason, this round of meds (same dose and everything as last time) is making me have very violent Realisations and Remembering Things moments. And by that I mean the Thing I Forgot and/or the Realisations show up with a bat and see how hard they can make my brain hit the wall. So anyway.

YOU GUYS REMEMBER SPIKE THE WETFLOOR BOT??? YOU GUYS REMEMBER HER??? THE FIRST FAZBEAR ANIMATRONIC TO BE BORN FROM LOVE INSTEAD OF PAIN??? YOU REMEMBER HER???

CAUSE I JUST DID

[kiviniik]

I'm thinking of writing a fic for vashwood in a modern AU where of course Vash is still a rich kid with Knives being controlling and possessive (if he ever be anything else), and Nicholas being an IT/tech guy who still gives away most of his paychecks to the orphanage

Am I prompted by my own 3D printer running for days printing Vash's gun? Definitely

But like Wolfwood being a bitter IT guy who wants people dead beause they're dumb beyond measure? (I worked IT I know what a code ID-10-T is) Vash being a dork and asking to get something 3D printed with his shy smile of his? Finding common grounds between the belief of humans being dumb and faith in them?

It lives rent free in my head!! but I got older fics I need to catch up on but I wanna write this aaaaaAAAH! Do I cave? Would anyone even read it?

[strixludica]

The unappreciated art of making mecha look inhuman

Something I noticed lately, by browsing lots of lancer homebrew and fanart and comparing it to the official art, is that a lot of third party artists, across levels of artistic competence, made mechs that looked plain to me for a reason I couldn't pin down. Again, this was only weakly correlated with other metrics for artistic quality, like posing, shading, and linework. After comparing them closely with other art that didn't give me that vibe and art from 1st party material, I realized what gave me that feeling: their mechs looked too human; they looked like they could be convincingly portrayed by a person in a costume.

If you look closely at official Lancer art and the best fanart, you will notice there are always details making sure the subject is unequivocably a giant robot and not a person in sci-fi armor.

One strange but effective way this is achieved is the legs: each manufacturer has one or more distinct style of legs, with the only overlap being between SSC and RKF (which makes sense because SSC has close ties tot he Baronies). Let's go through them and see what about them makes sure you know this is a mech:

Smith-Shimano Corpro + Royal Karrakin Foundries: SSC has three kinds of lower limbs: the Horse Leg, which they share with RKF; the Foot Without Heel, and the Anatomically Correct Human Leg With Toes.

The Horse Leg is not only obviously inhuman, but also obviously unnatural, bacause no biped would be able to move properly standing on horse hooves: it would be like contantly doing a ballerina tip-walk using clown shoes; that is something only a mechanical device assisted by top-of-the-line automatic balancing could achieve.

The Heel-less foot, due to being used almost only for their spider-mechs Death's Head and Swallowtail, has little dehumanization work to do, but it does cover that function when used on the Dusk Wink, which *is* in fact a person in power armour, but still the artist took care of reminding us of how mechanical it is, by giving it feet which have little in common with boots or any other footwear. The Toed Leg seems, at first, to be the opposite of dehumanizing: it looks the most like an actual human bodypart, it feeds into SSCs fetishization of the Human Form (phrasing entirely intended). However, that is also the reason why it very clearly shows the Monarch and Mourning Cloak are robots: because no suit of armor would ever look like a naked leg; this level of anatomical fidelity only makes sense for something mechanical, whose skin *is* armor and as such doesn't need to cover itself.

Horus: Horus is mostly the easy one, with how most of the art gives their mechs beastly paws and hooves, gecko-like foot pads, or long, amphibian fingers whose vague semblance to human hands only contrasts with the blatantly monstous shapes of the Pegasus and Gorgon. However, they have four mechs portaryed with human-like legs.

The Hydra has little need to mask its mechanical nature, but the Lich commits the grave sin of being clothed, one of the biggest risk factor in making mechs look like dudes in armor. To counteract this problem, it's feet have two very evident inhuman characteristics: they have only two long, slender toes, and they touch the ground only with their futhest tarsus, in a way that makes it obvious they aren't bearing any actual weight, as if both Lich and Hydra were alway hovering a couple feet above the ground and used their feet only to skip along it, like a venetian boatman might do with their pole.

The other two exceptions are the Calendula, which being an RKF design has their trademark horse legs, and the Kobold, which already looks inarguably like a robot thanks to the barrel shae of its main body, the Horus-patented Pikey Blobs Aesthetic(tm), but still has feet with actual toes, which achieve the same effect as those from SSC.

GMS: For the longest time, GMS did not have art at all, but let's look at the [G] Type Everest from Op. Solstice Rain:

While the Boot with Auxiliary Side-Toes shape of the foot could potentially belong to a suit of armor, if we look up at the knee it's a different story: look at the slabs on either side of the joint which restrict it to one degree of freedom, as opposed to the frontal protection typical of armor for humans; look at the opposite bends of hip and shin, which almost makes the leg look digitgrade. Inequivocably robotic despite the clearly humanistic design. However, the lower parts of mechs are not the only way their design is dehumanized: we come now to Inter Planetary Shipping - Northstar and Harrison Armory, and in a curious inversion they take the opposite approach.

Although some legs of IPS-N mechs use the above principle (the Blackbeard's angular feet whose toes almost look like retractable claws, Drake's heel-less boots, and Lancaster and Kidd's SPOT-like hooves), a lot of their mecha have quite human-looking armoured boots. HA goes a step further, likely due to a deliberate stylistic choice stemming from the anthrochauvinist ideals: Their mechs look very much like armoured warriors, often even with little skirts like the Iskander or Sherman or reinforced *baltei* like Genghis and Tokugawa. With one important exception: their head.

IPS-N has a very distinctive One-Eyed Cylinder with Another Eye on the Top shape for their mecha, it's probably a deliberate par of their brand; it sees some variation like Drake's looking more liek a helmeted facemask and Stortebecker's tricorn, but even Lancaster and Kidd have a sort of vestigial head on the front with a single eye coming out of a slit.

HA's mecha have greater variation, but nevertheless for all that their body is as human-shaped as possible, their heads are always distinctly not: Barbarossa has a flat prism with a this transparent section on top, looking more like the control tower of an aircraft carrier than a head; Genghis, Tokugawa, and Gilgamesh both have canopies recessed into their bodies; Napoleon also has a barely-extruding canopy with a strange shape and covered in Blinkshield emitters that make it look like a bug-eyed little freak; Sherman is quite literally built around having a cannon for a face; and Sunzi has its drum-looking Blinkspace device. The only HA mech that has a "head" region separate from the rest of the body is Saladin, and even then it's a flat cylinder with a rectangular window in the middle: a design which would never work as a helmet but makes sense as a rotatitng cockpit with a canopy.

The observant among you will have notice that I left out four mechs: Nelson, Vlad, Enkidu, and Iskander. That is admittedly because they are those whose design asserts its inhumanity the least.

Of the first two, despite Nelson committing the sin of clothing, it also compensates hard by leaving a gap in its tabard to show the hatch for the pilot, while Vlad unfortunately does not, and with the weirldy human-looking eye, if there wasn't a pilot for scale one might legitimately not know it's a robot without context.

Iskander is the one mech in the entire Compendium which can be cosplayed without altering its proportion: cyclopism aside, this could be a person in future armor.

Enkidu also has a look which could work just as well for a human-scale cyborg, but given that it's a deliberate statement of intent it gets a pass. At the very least it's elongated head and pad-less feet make it obvious that this is not a person in armor.

Conclusion:

Although I cannot prove it without some double-blind polls, I think one of the secrets to a good mech design is making it look not only obviously like a robot, but also giving it pose, proportions, and details such that it would look big not just on a white background with no context, but that if you tried to shrink it and put it in a scene as though it was more or less the size of a person, people would realize that it's supposed to be larger.

[formulawolff]

"just one dance" - t.w.

pairing: horner's daughter!reader x toto wolff

word count: 1.9k

warnings: toto lusting after a woman thirty years younger than him (what's new on this blog lmfao), sexual references, maybe some cursing (idrk), mentions of drug use, alcohol use, flirting, banter, yadayadayada

a/n: i played "here" by alessia cara like 20x on repeat while writing this fic. so we could say that this fic is veryyyyy loosely inspired by that song. also! this was a request by an anon! i hope y'all enjoy! <3

"come on," the words as slurred as he rolls his eyes, "come dance with us!"

bringing your hand to your mouth, you stifle a giggle, "max, for the last time, i am not joining the horny middle school grind circle you guys have going on over there."

"it's not a grind circle," he puts his hands on his hips, "i would say it's more like a mosh pit."

which, given the occasion, was not quite appropriate either.

at the moment, you were perched at one of the many elegant banquet tables, the rigid surfaced draped with a thick, cream-colored tablecloth. adorning the table were numerous vases, filled to the brim with floral arrangements, their fragrance oh so sickeningly sweet.

the plates, utensils, and other various dining ware were now cleared, only leaving numerous wine glasses, their crystalline stems glimmering in the dim light, swathed by the golden hue of the chandeliers as they sparkle above.

this was the annual fia prize gala, one of the most coveted events of the season. it was the showcasing and peacocking of sheer and utter wealth, as the drivers got to pull up to in their luxury vehicles, their keys handed off to the valets. every individual was dressed head to toe in designer clothing from nearly every brand possible, from christian dior to saint laurent.

you lost track of the amount of rolex watches, cartier jewelry, and hermès bags you noticed throughout the course of the evening.

the main event wrapped up hours ago, leaving the rest of the night for the drivers, crew members, mechanics, engineers, executives, and team principals to mingle and dance. and well, consume copious amounts of alcohol.

and well, perhaps do a few lines in the restroom. or light a joint outside. maybe even pop a few pills.

with the exuberant amounts of cash involved with events like this, there were surely some illicit affairs. ones that the fia ignored, simply turning their heads.

if they didn't see it, it didn't happen.

after all, you were in monaco. it was like las vegas in a way.

what happened in monaco, stayed in monaco.

and here max verstappen was, three-time world champion, standing before you, so drunk he could barely walk, begging for you to come join him on the dance floor.

too bad your phone was almost dead.

this would have been a prime opportunity to record what was unfolding before you. it would have fed the max girlies all over instagram and tik tok for months.

glancing over max's shoulder, you pick out lando, oscar, charles, and carlos. they were apart of the large formation, jumping up and down, barreling into one another. alexandra, rebecca, and lily linger around the group, their gowns swishing as they laugh, their cheeks dusted with a bubblegum pink glow.

a drunken mosh pit with a bunch of sweaty men? no thank you.

but gossiping with the girls? that was more your speed.

"my dad would have a stroke if he caught me with you guys," you simply shrug, sipping on your wine, "and what if something happened to my dress? we have to return this, you know."

"ugh," the dutch driver groans, "you're no fun."

"hallo, max," a new voice cuts in, thick with an accent you can't quite place your finger on, "congratulations on your accomplishment this year!"

shifting in your chair is none other than torger christian wolff, better known as toto wolff, team prinicipal of mercedes.

your heart skips a beat as your eyes drink in the sight of him, the way his crisp tuxedo fit him effortlessly. his dark brunette hair was messy, more than likely from the events of the evening. his bowtie was untied, hanging loosely around his neck. the first few buttons of the snowy white dress shirt were undone, exposing his skin.

fuck, was he a gorgeous man.

with sharp cheekbones, a chiseled jawline, and wide, beautiful coffee brown eyes, he knew that he was attractive, his aura brimmed with nothing but sexiness and dominance.

his hands land on the chair beside you, pulling it out as max rambles, the words drowning out in your ears.

you were more focused on his stature as he sits to your right, his thighs spread in the chair, a hand running through his hair.

"is there a reason why i haven't seen you on the dance floor?"

due to the excessive volume of the music, his mouth hovers by your ear. a shiver runs down your spine as his eyes lock with yours, lips forming a radiant smile, flashing his perfect pearlescent teeth.

"cat got your tongue? or are you just as intoxicated as maxie boy over there?"

"neither," you counter, straightening in your chair, "just not really interested, that's all."

"did daddy not give his precious diamond any dance lessons growing up?"

your father was none other than christian horner, team principal of red bull racing, sworn enemy of toto wolff.

quickly, your eyes scan your surroundings, in an attempt to pick out your father among the throng of people. to your dismay, you cannot find him.

which, in this case, could be a good thing.

if he saw toto speaking to you? oh fuck. it would be game over. you'd probably be grounded at your big age of twenty-four years old. could parents even do that when you were an adult?

you didn't really want to find out.

yet, you couldn't turn down a few moments with the team principal.

after all, this was a once in a lifetime opportunity.

why not seize it?

for most of your life, you obeyed every single one of your father's wishes. you maintained your distance from the red bull drivers, careful not to get too close. you stayed out of the spotlight, ensuring that no negative publicity ever came his way. as much as you yearned to get to know members of the mercedes team or crew, you shied away, maintaining the promise that you would never befriend a rival.

so, for this one night, you could be a little selfish.

just this once.

even if it involved your father's biggest foe. the bane of his existence. the man he spoked about so bitterly for years on end.

"i was offered dance lessons, actually," your voice is melodic, like an angel's from the heavens above, "i turned them down. opted for horseback riding instead."

"so you know how to ride?" the team principal runs a tongue along his lower lip, his brow slightly raised, "well, i have an offer for you. one dance with me, and then later you can show me how well you can ride."

"and what am i going to be riding?" you inquire, folding your arms across your chest.

the corners of his lips curl into a devious smirk, an emotion glinting within the mocha depths as he leans in, "my cock."

heat flourishes into your cheeks, seeping all throughout your body. as your mind scrambles, struggling to formulate some sort of witty response, the team principal nods, "not expecting that, were you? i like seeing you like this, all flustered. it's cute."

"y-you're ridiculous," you manage to sputter out, hands instinctively shielding your face.

"not as ridiculous as any of those fools," his head motions towards the group of rambunctious drivers, "tell me, why aren't you with any of them? i'm sure maxie boy would love to take you on a date. lando too."

"just not interested," you shrug, regaining your confidence a tad, "don't get me wrong, they've asked. but i've always just turned them down."

toto cocks his head, his voice laced with a tease, "why? scared daddy is going to ground you for dating a driver?"

"i just rather wouldn't be involved with anyone of them romantically," you wave a hand, "it'd be too awkward if things didn't end up working out. could you imagine having to spend so much time at the paddock with someone who your dad could fire at any given moment? it'd be like walking on eggshells. i'd feel bad for any poor soul who wants to court me. they'd constantly be seeking my father's approval, on and off the track."

"well it's a good thing that i already know where i stand," toto shoots you a wink, your heart thudding against your rib-cage as he offers you his hand, "come on, just one dance. that's all i ask of you, gorgeous girl. one dance and then you can come right back over here, spending the rest of your night sulking in the corner."

"i haven't been sulking," you snort, accepting the gesture, "i've just been bored."

"how about you accept the other half of my offer then?" his accent is prominent, lingering in every word, "i've just been flirting, you don't really have to ride me. unless you know, you want to-"

"are you forgetting that we're in a very public space?" you hiss, elbow interlocked with his as you make your way to the dance floor, "people can probably hear you."

"good thing we're all drunk," he responds, the casual delivery sending you spiraling, "here, place your hand on my shoulder. i'll take this hand. the other will go on your waist."

as you follow his lead, you can't help but feel the pairs of eyes fixate on the two of you, murmurs rising above the music. yet, toto's focus is honed in on you, and only you.

"don't worry about them," he takes a step forward, your feet following in suit, "they're probably just envious that i'm with the most coveted woman in all of formula one."

"you don't mean that."

"oh schatzi," a chuckle rumbles in his chest, flowing from his lips, "do you not hear the things they say about you among the paddocks?"

"enlighten me then," your heart swells as his thumb tenderly kneads into your waist, fingers interlocking with yours.

his mouth is merely centimeters away from yours now, dimples apparent as his eyes glitter like the chandeliers above, "there's whispers that you are the most breathtaking woman in the world. the drivers talk about you all of the time, debating who would look the best by your side. you're a hot commodity. a prize to be won."

"people say those things about me?"

"would i ever lie to you?" toto arched a brow, "i have no reason to."

"that is true."

there's a twinge of resentment that bubbles up in your stomach as the song ends. oh how this moment ended too soon.

way too soon.

"still no sign of your father," toto's voice is hushed, barely audible over the music, "you think i could have you for just one more song? after that, i promise i'll leave you be."

"i think so," you feel a smile form the moment he pulls you in closer, the space between you crumbling away, "careful, mr. wolff. you need to maintain some sort of distance between us, remember?"

he shakes his head, fingers squeezing your waist, "right now, i could give any fucks what your father would think. he's lucky that i have some sort of self-control."

"and why is that?" you press, blood roaring in your ears as his head lowers, situated by your ear.

"because it is taking everything within me to keep myself from getting on my knees right this instant and lifting up that gown of yours."

[shayziekai]

Red just out enjoying some beers at the local pub.

I actually really like how the setup turned out, as I am not great with a whole lot of background details

[charliemwrites]

Part 4!! (No content warnings)

Fuck these men :)

You roll your neck, trying to loosen muscles tense from keeping your head locked in place. Hard work denying natural instinct to look at whoever is speaking, but the 141 doesn’t deserve any more of your attention than they’ve already stolen. Even if they didn’t know they had it at the time.

You’ll have to ask Nikto if he’ll massage out the knot forming there. He’s handy with anatomy like that.

“Listen, about what happened…” Gaz starts.

“Not relevant,” you snap, crouching behind a barrel.

“I’d say it’s pretty relevant,” he replies. “It’s not right, how we left things.”

You nearly snarl. ‘Not right’ is the understatement of the bloody century.

You twist on him. “You’re being unprofessional. Shut up and take this seriously, Garrick.”

You duck as a sniper shot pings dangerously close to your head. Spot Nikto across the way, hand-signaling to ask if you need back up. You reply with a ‘no’ and turn back to Gaz.

Thankfully, it seems he’s caught the message and keeps his mouth shut for the rest of the stupid drill. You resist a snappish comment when it’s over. Up until Gaz starts up again.

“I just think you deserve—”

“I don’t care what you think I deserve,” you interrupt. “I know what I deserve. And it’s a partner that can keep their feelings in their vest.”

Speaking of, Nikto appears at your side like a shadow in shifting light. There’s a disapproving tilt to his head, aimed at Gaz. You shake your head and tap your knuckles against his.

“Need a water break?” You ask, worried about how long he’s been under the helmet.

He shakes his head, then surprises you by bumping his forehead against yours — his version of a kiss. Even in private those are rare. You hum at him.

“Thank you, Nik.”

You have to run the next drill with Soap. Know from the start he’s going to be a stubborn prick about it. Can see it in the set of his jaw and the flicker in his eye.

“Didnae have to be a knob to Gaz,” he says.

You don’t respond, slipping away as the exercise begins. He calls after you and hurries to catch up, nearly blowing your cover.

“He feels bad enough for what happened, ye know.”

You level him a cool, blank stare. “You speak for him now?”

His eyes narrow. “If you won’t give him the chance to, aye.”

You knock his leg out from under him and fire at the “enemy” combatant, Nova. She sportingly goes down, but mutters that you should have let her take the shot. You should have.

“You compromise this drill again,” you tell a toppled Soap, “I’ll tell Laswell direct that you don’t belong on this mission.”

You spin on your heel and continue the exercise, ignoring any and all attempts by Soap to get you to speak again. At the very least, he picks up the slack, earns his callsign.

Nova finds you again when it’s over, arms around your neck and chest plastered to your back.

“Look’it you go, mamas,” she coos. “Shot me through the heart all over again.”

You laugh bending your legs to let her hop up for a piggy back ride. Yeah, you’re tired. But never too tired to carry your girl around. She giggles in your ear as you carry her off back to your captain for her next drill.

“With Price now,” he says, tucking your hair behind your ear.

“Sure thing, boss,” you answer, doing a good impression of enthusiasm.

You know your place, settle into position just behind Price’s left side. No overtures about the past this time. Whatever iota of lingering respect you have for him grows as you complete the drill flawlessly. When it’s over, the two of you are at the furthest point from the designated “start”. And that’s when he decides to open his stupid mouth.

“It wasn’t personal, you know,” he says.

You smooth out your expression even though you don’t turn to him, already starting back.

“Okay.”

“It was the best call,” he explains, falling into step with you.

You tilt him a sideways look, don’t even bother with your full gaze. Spent far too much time looking up to him, by your estimate.

“Okay.”

“I look out for my soldiers.”

You turn forward again. “I wouldn’t know.”

Your captain happens to intercept, sweeping you up with one arm. You yelp, though can’t help grinning as you hook your fingers in one of his chest straps.

“Shouldn’t sneak up like that, sir,” you scold.

“That’s how I’ll know when I need to retire,” he replies with a crooked grin. “When I can’t sneak up on you anymore.”

You huff, snatching his sunglasses off his face to wear all the way back to the start point. Keegan meets you, looks directly at you as he salutes.

“Captain,” he says.

You laugh, give your CO his glasses back.

“Keeping fuckin’ around, Russ,” the captain rumbles, “I’ll take it out of your ass later.”

You gasp, scandalized, and laugh as the little skin visible through his smearing face paint turns pink.

“Off with you, girl,” your captain says. “We’re done after this, so keep it quick and clean.”

“Yessir,” you reply, jogging off to meet Ghost.

Fucking Ghost.

You don’t spare him a single look as you set up for the exercise. If nothing else, you have every expectation that he won’t say a single goddamn thing to you. No attempted apologies, no reprimands, no justifications. Just radio silence, like always.

What you don’t expect is for him to treat you like nothing’s changed. Like you’re still a fresh transfer that can’t watch their own six. You consider just putting your “gun” away and trailing after him until the exercise is over, but that would be just slightly too immature.

So you suck it up, grit your teeth, and do your job. Up until he gets in the fucking way. You’re about to get a sneaky shot on Keegan — a rare thing indeed — but Ghost moves. Goes out of his way to get the shot you already had and loses you both the element of surprise.

“Fucking oaf,” you snarl, scrambling behind a wall. “Is this your first fucking day or something?”

His eyes flash across the corridor. “What the fuck did you just say?”

You don’t reply, getting low and kicking your boot off, carefully sneaking it towards the corner like you’re trying to peek out. Keegan comes around, aiming too high and in the wrong direction, and Ghost shoots him.

Keegan “goes down” — goes out of his way to land on you, actually. You huff and shove at him.

“It’s not nap time,” you groan.

“Can’t hear you, I’m dead.”

You snort and shimmy out from under him. Not so different from most mornings, actually.

“If you two are done…” Ghost growls.

You suck your teeth and stalk off, giving Keegan one last pat to the back. The rest of the drill is barely civil, Ghost’s eyes more on you than on the training grounds.

When it’s finally, finally over, you sigh and pause, trying to work out that knot again.

“Haven’t changed a bit, have you?” Ghost sneers.

It’s meant to hurt. Meant to piss you off. Maybe remind you of the last things he said to you. You don’t look at him, bending to re-lace your boots. Thrilled to realize it’s like poking at an old scar. The skin is deadened, even though a mark remains.

“Fuck you’re so immature,” he growls.

You straighten and just start walking. Keegan finds you almost instantly.

“The hell was that about earlier?” He asks, frown audible.

“Ugh, he got in the way. I would have fuckin’ had you, otherwise.”

His eyes spark with outrage. “He fuckin’ what?” He snarls, turning like he’s about to say something to Ghost. Which… no. Just not worth it.

“Keegs,” you sigh, “c’mon, I told you this would happen. He’s not worth it.”

He scoffs, laces his fingers with yours. “‘Course he’s not. Don’t waste bullets on the dead, right?”

You snort and tug him along. The rest of your team will be waiting.

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Masterlist

[pricegouge]

Haul

Part Two MDNI

Master list | on ao3

slasher!trucker!141 x reader

series cw: dark fic. major character deaths, rape/noncon

chapter cw: stalking, car crash, graphic depictions of violence, character death/murder, vomiting

The shop's dismal - likely hasn't been remodeled since the eighties. You doubt they've rotated stock since that time either, judging by the designs on some of the packaging. You make a mental note to check expiries and idle on, the carpet of dust tracked in by generations of long haulers puffing up around your footsteps as you wait for your friend. When she's done, you hand the keys off to Ash as she shuffles past with a sleepy request to get her a Red Bull and a danish for her breakfast. You tell her no problem, waving her own card at her because you know she won't notice. From the grimy gas station window, you watch dutifully as she approaches the car and struggles with the manual lock a few times, but ultimately climbs in. You hope against hope that she's re-engaged it behind herself, though you doubt she's remembered.

You pull off for gas at a truck stop just before you get on the highway, stealing Ash's card because she never did buy you - or anyone else - a drink. She sleeps on, unaware as you fill her car up. That's what she gets for not topping it off at the last stop anyway. The relative chill of night brings out all sorts of wildlife and you swat at the bugs swarming under the station lights as you keep half an eye on the trucks assembled around you despite knowing you won't spot Simon's familiar grill. Your rearview had faithfully returned just the one truck behind you for a long time, though it had eventually turned north some miles back.

Reassured, you shake Ash awake to ask if she needs to use the restroom and follow her grouchy, tipsy ass inside. The bell above the door echoes loudly when you step through, turning the heads of the assembled mass of sleepy truckers your way. Ash doesn't seem to notice, barrelling through toward the restroom like only someone who's broken the seal already tonight could. You kinda envy her single mindedness, the obliviousness it brings. You, on the other hand, can feel every set of eyeballs on you with glaring clarity. Reasoning it's the lingering paranoia, you force indifference and peruse the coffee options while you wait for Ash to be done with the bathroom, tactfully avoiding eye contact with the man next to you by trying to appear engrossed in your phone. 

The shop's dismal - likely hasn't been remodeled since the eighties. You doubt they've rotated stock since that time either, judging by the designs on some of the packaging. You make a mental note to check expiries and idle on, the carpet of dust tracked in by generations of long haulers puffing up around your footsteps as you wait for your friend. When she's done, you hand the keys off to Ash as she shuffles past with a sleepy request to get her a Red Bull and a danish for her breakfast. You tell her no problem, waving her own card at her because you know she won't notice. From the grimy gas station window, you watch dutifully as she approaches the car and struggles with the manual lock a few times, but ultimately climbs in. You hope against hope that she's re-engaged it behind herself, though you doubt she's remembered.

The bathroom is a dingy, single person affair. The water runs too hot, creating a germophobia-inducing level of humidity that has you rushing through the motions, barely able to stand the sight of the nearly damp (seriously, why is it nearly damp?) toilet paper roll. Outside, you shudder in relief and then laugh at yourself when you see a tall man waiting in line, arching his dark, perfectly sculpted eyebrow at your antics.

"Sorry," you giggle. "It's uh -." Glancing between the bathroom and him, you affect a sympathetic grimace and wish him luck in there.

He curls his lip at you. "Did you blow it up?"

"What -? No. God, no. Sorry, it's just uh -." You try to laugh it off, stop dead as he continues to look unamused. "You know what? Nevermind. Have a good one." Breezing past him, you smirk viciously when you hear him enter the bathroom with a small, distressed-sounding cry. 

You're just putting the cap on your coffee when he finds you again, announcing his presence by standing much too close and waiting for you to look up at him. "Sorry about… that," he starts and you shrug noncommittally. "I did not, in fact, have good luck in there."

Despite your better judgment, he earns himself a laugh with that one. He's handsome, the charm that comes with it enough to earn you over when he's not actively being an asshole. "Tried to warn you."

"You did," he agrees, big brown eyes gleaming with mischief. "And I was a right dick. I'd blame it on all these odd hours I've been keeping, but that's no excuse."

You nod thoughtfully, hoping if you don't take the conversational bait soon enough, he'll let it drop. A beat passes, another. Tall and handsome doesn't pardon himself and you sigh. "So, are you a trucker?"

"Who else would be haunting a truck stop at such an ungodly hour?" He laughs, but the humor doesn't reach his eyes. Instead they're hard, questioning. 

You offer no answer. "Right, well. Hopefully your hours get a little better soon." You tip your coffee to him as if in cheers, turning back toward the pastry aisle. 

He doesn't let you get far. "Did I see you back at that roadhouse?" he asks abruptly, and you spin on the spot, incensed suddenly.

"Excuse me?"

Doe eyes offers no explanation, instead looking you over openly as you do in kind. Tall, lean, he's the kind of handsome that would stand out anywhere, let alone in some ratty old bar in the middle of nowhere Arizona, where a man wearing a gaiter to cover his cleft lip and shredded nose had been the only one attractive enough to grab your attention all night. "You weren't -?"

"Where's your friend?"

There's no helping the way your eyes automatically dart to the window. Outside, Ash looks for all the world to have fallen peacefully asleep, but here, in this dirty little truckstop with your arms full of shitty, cheap snacks, it's dawning on you that you've now met two truckers with English accents in one night, and that's probably not normal. 

"Not her," this new one says now, eyes unblinking as they bore into you. "Big guy. Simon."

It's unclear, in the panic that follows, if you bother telling him to go fuck himself before dropping your loot to the floor and scurrying off, hot coffee splashing across your ankles. He laughs as he calls after you, hollering about keeping your shirt on. You feel bile begin its ascent up your esophagus and swallow it back hard.

A truck blocks your path as you emerge from the store, air brakes firing loud enough to drown out the bell over the door. You dart around the back of it, and then instantly regret it when the driver hangs his head out the window to yell at you about situational awareness and general truck safety in an accent that has you fumbling with the driver's side handle.

"Yae listening to me?" he demands, and you spare him a glance just long enough to memorize intense, icy blue eyes and a fucking mohawk. You console yourself to know if you're going to be stalked across state by three Europeans, at least they're none too inconspicuous. 

Ignoring the Scot, you eye the storefront through the gap between his trailer and cab. You don't spot the other one, which only makes your anxious yanking on the handle worse. "C'mon," you hiss, banging on the glass when you realize your worry that Ash would forget to lock the door had been unfounded, as she had indeed locked you out. 

You start yelling and pounding on it when mohawk climbs down from his cab, hollering about wanting to talk to you. "Ash!" You're not even watching for a reaction, eyes darting between the known threats in your peripheral. The Scot is nearing, rounding the end of the car while on the other side of his trailer, you spy the clerk watching apathetically from the relative safety of the cash wrap. Your eyes dart back to the approaching driver as you bang on the window more, but then rip back toward the store when you realize the scope of your gaze takes in much more than you should be able to see, considering you've been left to look through the gap between cab and trailer. 

It takes you a moment to realize what you're looking at, the small trailer not something you ever would have noticed before tonight. Now, however, you recognize the odd silhouette of the short container on the full size rig the moment you focus on it, remembering how it followed you out of the bar. 

"Stay away," you warn as mohawk rounds the corner. He does not look at all swayed by your words. You're debating trying your luck with running when the door moves beneath your hands, cracking you in the hip.

"Get in!" Ash yells, but you're already on it, slamming the door shut before the Scot can even take another step. He's in your window soon enough though, banging on it and testing the lock much like you had. He mocks you, mimicking your cries to let him in. You try to ignore it in favor of fumbling with the keys while Ash jitters in the seat next to you, far too confused to be much help.

"Who is that?" she asks, just as the engine roars to life. You peel out, pushing the old beater for all it's worth while Ash keeps muttering questions you don't have the answers to. She watches the rearview so you can focus on driving, letting you know when mohawk's truck exits the station in hot pursuit. 

You curse, daring to press ever harder on the accelerator, hoping against hope that even this old piece of shit has better pick up than a semi. It goes well until it doesn't: your headlights shining on the tail of yet another truck which rushes up to meet you at an alarming speed. Easing into the oncoming lane, you try to pass it, only to veer right back in when the cab of the truck comes swerving out in front of you.

"What is this guy's problem?" you seethe, blaring on your horn. Ash whines warningly, but you don't need to check the rearview to know the Scot is coming in hot; his headlights reflected in the chrome trailer in front of you above your own. The truck up ahead seems unsympathetic, returning fire with his air horn as he continues to weave into your path.

"Look, the ramp!" Ash calls, pointing to the sign for the upcoming interstate. You nod, already planning a daringly illegal U-turn using one of the highway's emergency turnabouts if it comes to it because you know if nothing else, Ash's shitty car can bang a quicker turn than the asshole behind you can. 

Too bad the trucker in front seems to recognize this possibility, too. When he puts his blinker on for the ramp, you don't think much of it beyond a general frustration that you'll be stuck behind him a while longer; but when he eases his truck onto the exit and just… doesn't move, you know you've miscalculated.

"There's room," Ash asserts, pointing to the scrap of space left in front of the nose of the truck. You hesitate, knowing full well that it was a move Ash herself would've been able to pull off, but doubting your ability to make the turn at the speed you were currently going.

"Fuckin', go!" You lock up when Ash leans over and yanks the wheel, doing your best to simply maintain speed. There's a moment of relief as you count each wheel slipping past the passenger window, and then the chrome truck releases its brakes, tapping your front bumper just hard enough to send you tail spinning back out into the road. 

Returning to yourself, you curse as you yank on the wheel, slamming on your brakes when the chrome truck follows you back out onto the lane so as not to get can opened by the bottom of his trailer. You evade the truck in front, blessedly, but in all the commotion you'd missed the twenty footer coming in hot behind you, and you nearly bite your tongue off when he rear ends you with just enough force to lock your seatbelts, knocking the wind from you.

"What the fuck is going on!?" Ash demands. "Did you piss them off?"

You want to tell her to shut her mouth; want to cry even more. You only realize you already are when you go to respond and find your voice croaky and weak. "There was a man inside. He - he said he'd seen us at the bar and asked where Simon was. He freaked me out cause he had an English accent and I feel like I definitely would've noticed him at the bar, but I didn't see him there -."

"He cute?" Ash can't help but ask, glomming onto the way you'd said you would've noticed him.

"Can you focus!?" 

"Right, sorry."

"So I came running outside, only that fucking guy," you motion behind you illustratively, "started yelling at me and he also has an accent, and then I realized he has a short trailer like the one that followed us out of the bar and -. And -."

"Shit," Ash hisses, following your train of thought. "Okay. Fuck. Okay." 

"This was coordinated, right? That's the guy from the store in front of us. They had to have planned -!" You're cut off from continuing when another love tap to your back end gets the car jolting. "I don't wanna fucking die like this," you mutter, eyeing the rear bumper in front of you which you're damn near eye level with. If the Scot wanted to, he could ram you so hard you'd kiss that chrome and lose your head in the process.

"You're not gonna die here." Ash's voice is oddly assertive. Reassuring. You glance at her, surprised to see her unbuckling. You ask what she's doing but she ignores you, shoving at the sunroof window until you hear the wind whipping down into the cabin. 

"Ash, what the fuck?" you repeat, too concentrated on keeping the car perfectly equidistant between the two trucks to figure out how to stop her. 

"Just wanna talk," she nearly laughs as she hauls herself half out the sunroof, screaming threats and obscenities. 

You go rigid with fear, sweating as you try to maintain perfect speed because you know if you get knocked from either end right now, your friend will likely end up with a broken spine. You try telling her as much, but between the wind and the yelling, your voice doesn't even carry far enough to reach your own ears. Unable to watch the rearview for the body currently blocking it, you keep your eyes glued to the chrome trailer in front of you, measuring mohawk's distance based on the size of his headlight glare. You're doing well, even feeling confident enough to attempt pulling Ash back into the car - when doe eyes taps his brakes and you panic, toe easing onto your own just hard enough to have the Scot barrelling into you. 

A grunt and an oddly chunky splashing sound. You worry Ash was somehow JFK'd down the back of the car, but then she's collapsing back into her seat, clutching her belly and wiping sick from her face. 

"Shit, are you okay?" You cry, hands shaking where they grip the wheel. Ash just nods, going wide eyed as her eyes shift past you out the back window.

In the reflection of the chrome trailer, you see mohawk's headlights drift off into the oncoming lane. For just a moment, you allow relief to wash over you, even tapping your brakes to let him merge ahead of you. Then his tail end clears your own and another set of headlights glare back at you, white hot and molten as they spill across the sheet metal of the trailer. 

"God damnit," Ash groans, pushing back against the dashboard with shaky hands. "Simon."

Beside you, mohawk turns his cabin light on, leaning across his passenger seat to leer down at you with a wild grin. He waves like an old friend would, happy and bright, and you scream in frustration as the truck behind you creeps up too close.

The first side swipe is a test, you know it the moment he makes impact. The car jolts as if of its own accord, but comes back to heel easy enough: a spooked horse under a well-trained hand. You don't fight the sob that builds up within you despite the relative ease with which you handle it, however, knowing full well the Scot would run you off the road whenever he goddamn felt like it. 

Ash knows it, too. "You're gonna have to pull off." She nods out her passenger window toward the vast expanse of flattened dirt and shaggy shrubs. Through your tears, it may as well be a field of pitch, or black ice.

"I'll spin out."

"You'll get pancaked if you stay," she counters and you nod, steeling yourself.

Only for the Scot on your left to pull the trigger for you and come slamming into the driver's side with enough force to send the car rolling off the road -. 

A sharp jerk, a sudden thud. Your shoulder grates further into your body than you're certain your collar bone should allow. There is the all consuming shrieking of metal, but you hear it as if from below water. Next to you, Ash ragdolls in her seat, arm flying across and eclipsing your field of vision. There is a void, and then it is filled; a diaphragm contracting as everything rushes inward. Ash's arm is caught in the rush and with a sickening crack it is pulled backward into the orbit of your nose, pushed along by the swelling of a crisp white tide that grows to encase you from all sides. It crackles and whips, attempts to push Ash's arm clean through the back of your skull. There is a sound like percussive wood; a sharp, hollow tone but deep like mahogany and violent as a mallet. You're already screaming when you register that it is the sound of your cheek bone breaking.

With the pain comes clarity, and the world spins back into its proper speed. The beater comes to a stop teetering on its side, the combined weight of you and Ash, who had still been unbuckled, resting almost exclusively on the seat belt which cuts violently into your busted clavicle. Airbags deflate slowly, leave you panicking for breath before they collapse in pathetic limp forms which hang like ghosts from the passenger side of the car.

It takes you a moment to realize the reason you can't hear the creaking noise of the car still settling, or Ash's responses to your mumbled requests to know she's alive is because of the ringing in your ears. You panic at first - dully, as if in sympathy with a character from a movie -, thinking she'd surely been jostled around too much without her belt on, but to your immense relief, she wriggles above you just a moment later, trying to pry herself off of you by bracing her good arm on the wheel. Her voice sounds gurgly when she speaks, a low curse you can barely hear for the way your own ear seems to be screaming. 

"Are you okay?" she mouths, tears and snot and blood dripping down her face. You feel the heat of bodily fluids on your neck and exposed arm, but don't know who they belong to.

"I think so," you grumble, despite knowing full well you are not. You pray your adrenaline doesn't crash any time soon, as you know the second it does you will be fully incapacitated. "My face," you croak, flinching away from your own fingers when you go to touch it. 

Ash nods. You think she tells you not to touch it. She's blurry, out of focus. Your cheek throbs as if in explanation. "Arm's fucked." 

"Can you move it?"

She shakes her head once, fully aborts it when she falls still, eyes staring out the sunroof. "We have to go."

"Go?" Even as you say it, you know she's right. That doesn't stop your whole body from shuddering at the thought. Still, you crane your head enough to peer out the window, breath coming short when you see Simon's truck stopped on the side of the road not thirty yards away. Further up, doe eyes and mohawk are climbing out of their own cabs, dome lights illuminating the dark fabric that covers their faces. "Are they -?"

"Where's your phone?"

You could slap yourself for being so stupid, if not for the fear of hurting yourself further. With Ash's weight off of you, you fumble around for the back pocket where you usually keep the device, only to draw cold when you don't feel it there. "I don't… have it. Where's yours?" Ash looks around herself dramatically as if inviting you to take a guess. "Well, it's gotta be around here somewhere."

Ash, who never keeps her phone in her pocket while in the car despite it being the safest option for reasons exactly like this, just scoffs as she nods toward the center console where it had been stashed. "Could've been thrown from the window for all I fucking know. Seriously, where's yours?"

"I told you, I don't -."

"Well where's the last place you -?"

Three blasts from a nearby air horn shut you both up immediately. It's loud as hell, cutting across the barren landscape with enough force you're surprised it doesn't knock the car back right side up. Scrambling, the two of you peer out the sunroof and watch as Simon's dome light extinguishes - no man within. Three silhouettes cut the shaft of headlights between Simon's truck and mohawk's. In the harsh light, the white designs of their masks glow ominously, seem to absorb the light and take it with them as they step out of the direct beam, pale expressions still contrasting the large dark forms of them as they pick their way across dirt and shrubs. 

Above you, you feel Ash shift some more and nod along approvingly when she cranks her window down. It fights her, knocked from its track most like, but with a moment and a well-timed grunt of exertion, it gives and lowers. You fumble with your own seatbelt for a minute, groaning in pain and frustration when the belt looses and you fall against the driver's door with a rough thud, shoulder protesting violently enough to steal your breath. 

"Can you move?" Ash asks, one foot on the side of your seat while the other balances precariously on the steering wheel. She's crouched enough so as not to stick her head out the window and you can't help but spare a thought for how smart that is, as you're certain these freaks have guns. You tell her through grit teeth that you think you're good, but when you try to straighten yourself up between her thighs, you yelp in pain and she grimaces sympathetically. 

But not sympathetic enough, it seems.

"Where are you going?" you snap, watching in shock as she hoists herself out her window with her good arm. She takes a moment to stare down at you from where she perches precariously on the door, mumbling through tears about how very sorry she is, and how she only needs to outrun you. No sooner does she say this, however, than does the beam of a flashlight reveal her form to you in all its battered and bloody glory.

"Pup," Simon orders succinctly. When you look, you see mohawk take off sprinting in your direction, one mean-looking rod gripped tight in his fist.

Ash's curse covers your own. She's gone by the time you glance back to her, a quick thud from the bottom of the car and the shuffling of feet on dry dirt telling you she's jumped off. You scream for her to wait, to help you, to watch out, but she doesn't respond to any of it. 

Meanwhile, mohawk closes in, course unchanged. You wriggle violently as he draws near, but he doesn't slow as he approaches, and you gasp in shock when he leaps up onto the passenger's door with no issue, solid body causing the car to rock and groan under him. You worry about the car flipping again, but mohawk doesn't give it a chance. With a cruel laugh, he follows Ash back over the other side and you hear her shriek in horror before a low thud and a wet sound leaves her sobbing breathlessly. 

"Don't be greedy," doe eyes calls. You think maybe mohawk yells something back, but you're too busy scrambling out the sunroof to pay it much mind, Ash's horrible screams and sobs echoing around your skull.

"Ash?" you croak, pulling yourself one-armed out of the wreckage. Twisted metal and bent casing scrape your belly, dirt clinging to your tender skin. Your head throbs with every movement but you keep hauling yourself on, even when the flashlight cuts down to you, casting long, odd shadows across the dirt as it refracts through pebbles of shatter-proof glass. Frantically, you search your pockets for your phone again, but you're stopped with a scream when a boot presses down on your injured shoulder. 

"Looking for this?" a familiar voice asks, dangling your own phone in front of you like a bit of bait. It's hard to think clearly, given your current predicament, but even still you cast back through the events of the night, trying to remember the last place you'd had it, how any of them could have ended up with it. You recall playing on it back at the store as you'd waited for the restroom, placing it on the sink as you'd rushed through your routine, and then -.

You remember how friendly doe eyes had been after he'd emerged from the restroom. Unbidden, your brain replays the cry he'd loosed when he'd entered, though it sounds distinctly more excited this time.

You try to reach for it, curse your own sluggishness when he yanks it away with a cruel laugh. Strong hands wrap around your upper arms, pulling you to your feet despite the yelp of pain you emit when your shoulder collapses too far inward. 

"Not that one, Gaz," Simon rumbles, and the flashlight slips past you long enough you can focus on the face in front of you: wide, deep eyes framed in pretty, long lashes; set within the hollow of a skull balaclava.

Doe eyes - Gaz - frowns between you and the other man. "For cap?" When Simon doesn't respond, Gaz continues, "Or for you?"

"For us, provided you don't fuck it up." The thought sends a shiver through you, even if you don't quite fully understand the implication. You try to spit at him in protest, cringe at the taste of blood. Simon just stares back at you with those big dark eyes, black as pitch in the wan moonlight. With Ash's hellish screams still underscoring the scene, it's not hard to imagine you'd actually died in the crash - that this is your personal tartarus, these men your personal demons. 

As if none the wiser to your internal struggle, Simon reaches out a gloved hand to stroke your swollen, achy cheek. The nylon may as well be fiberglass against your tender skin, and he tuts almost sympathetically when you flinch away. "Shouldn't have run, pet. Your friend would still be alive if you'd just come with me."

Guilt comes crashing over you when you realize you haven't been focusing on the sounds of Ash's struggles. She's still sobbing, the occasional dull thuds that rain on her evidently not quite enough to shut her up. You whimper and Simon zeros in on it, eyes predator-sharp, intense as his headlights in your rearview.

"How's it going over there, Johnny?" he calls, never once looking away from you.

One last sickening crunch stops Ash's shrieking, and you nearly throw up at the implication. "Nearly there, LT," Johnny calls back. His voice is unbearably cheery. 

"What do you think, Betty," he rumbles at you, too low for the others to hear. "Not too boring for her now, is it?" When you don't respond beyond a loud gulp, he carries on unbothered, calling to Johnny, "Well, finish it up. We got company."

You make yourself woozy, the speed at which you whip your head around to see the new headlights reflecting in his dark eyes. Behind his truck, a small passenger van rolls to a stop and idles, the driver hanging his head out the window to ask if everything's alright. 

Gaz's reflexes are faster than yours, his hand clamping over your mouth before you can try screaming for help. The resulting muffled gurgle isn't even enough to cover the last wet crunch of Johnny's kill, and you sob into the hand that covers your mouth, though that does you no good either.

"I'll deal with him," Simon murmurs, slipping off with far too much grace for a man his size. His heavy boots barely make a sound on the dry, caked dirt as he prowls back up toward the road, heavy mag light in his hand the only reliable indication of his whereabouts.

With the ring of light gone, Johnny feels emboldened enough to creep out from around the back of the car. A heavy scrape follows him, and it takes you a moment to realize it's Ash's slumped body being dragged along by the crow bar he's got lodged under her ribs but when you do, there's no stopping the sick that floods your mouth. Gaz pulls away with a disgusted snarl. You heave for breath, trying to find enough air within your lungs to call for help again. The notion is put to an end when Gaz kicks you in the belly and you retch up what's remained in your stomach. 

"You scream for help, and I won't hesitate to slit your fucking throat," he hisses, thin slice of metal digging into your neck demonstratively. "Trust, it's not me who wants to keep you."

The reminder has you casting about for Simon again, spotting him coming around the driver's side of the van now. Some words are exchanged, the dome light of the van turning on when the driver begins to search his glove box. Simon waits patiently for him to sit back up in his seat before reaching through the open window and strangling him one-handed in a move so predictable it's almost comical. Or would be, if it all wasn't so very real.

Hot tears streak your face, nearly molten where they fall over your pained, swollen cheek. On either side of you, Gaz and Johnny laugh, mimicking the driver's pathetic attempts to dislodge the much larger man. You let their laughter wash over you for a moment, brain trudging through options while they're distracted. Running is almost certainly out of the option in your state, but fighting them off might be possible if you were properly armed. 

It's difficult to not see Ash as you reach toward her, eyes taking in all the damage done. Your hand finds her mangled arm first, skin nearly squishy under your fingers with the bruises she'd no doubt incurred while trying to protect herself. You crawl closer, yank on the crow bar the second you feel it in your grasp. Her whole body rolls with it, but the weapon doesn't budge. Slipping your grasp down closer to where it penetrates her, you readjust your grip and ease it straight out, relieved when it slides from her with little more than a wet squelch. You peek back up at your attackers as you adjust your grip again, knowing full well you'll only get one good shot at this. It's hard to decide which of the two of them would make for the better target. Clearly, Johnny has proven himself as a vicious killer, but you doubt Gaz would be here if he weren't also capable. And something about the way he looks at you makes you think he's just waiting for a chance. 

In the end, you don't think about it too much. Simply swing and hope for the best. A loud, definitively Scottish 'Och!' lets you know that you got Johnny, but you don't stay to see the outcome. Ignoring the protesting of your entire body, you heave yourself to your feet and take off running further into the open landscape. There's nowhere to hide, no hope on any horizon. It doesn't stop you from giving it your best shot.

You hear Gaz swear, the scuffle of his feet as he takes off after you. You don't register much else, your own heavy breaths covering all other sounds. A cluster of pain blooms behind your bad eye, vision whiting out on that side. You don't stop, winging the crowbar blindly behind yourself in hopes it cracks your pursuer on the temple. You only realize it didn't when he tackles you to the ground, long, firm limbs wrapped tight around your body as he rolls you into the dirt. You struggle, kick, bite, and spit. Gaz bodies it all with little more than a few huffy grunts. He punches you heavily on your bad shoulder, but only earns himself a renewed vigor to the bucks you use to try dislodging him. He's heavier than he looks, though - all wiry muscle. He doesn't budge, instead grabbing you by either side of your head and slamming his own down hard onto the bridge of your nose.

There's more commotion after that, though you don't really register it. For the second time that night, the voices around you grow dull and undefined through the ringing of your ears. Light cuts through your head like a knife a few times, but everytime you flinch away, it follows you cruelly until you whimper in pain. Eventually, the ground lurches away from you, and then you're floating, head lolling woozily. Your brain trips in and out of urgency, misfiring like a bad engine. You note the strong, dangerous arms that keep you trapped against a sturdy chest with alarm, but the next second your panic leaves you tired and worn out as your eye focuses on the packed earth beneath heavy boots. A small, scuttling scorpion rushes past and you shudder closer to the warmth that's ensnared you, unthinking.

"That's right, pet. Just relax and it'll all go much better for you."

It's Simon, you're sure of it. Alarm works through your system like old, clotted oil: sticky, dangerous. Despite everything, he scares you the least at the moment, and you let yourself sink into his hold for a moment. 

And then the squeal of a metal hinge has you jolting back to reality, clinging to Simon's shirt even as he tosses you unceremoniously up onto the cold, worn floor of a shipping container. You scramble, but Johnny follows you up, crowding you past wrapped pallets of bulk items until you reach the corrugated back end. He coos at you all the while despite the limp you've left him with, lilted nonsense that rings in your ears as it bounces off the metal siding. Desperate, you move to lunge past him, but he slams you back with a thick hand on your chest. 

"Easy, hen," he soothes, "not gonnae hurt yae." You know better, fears proven when he leans past you to push at a panel in the siding, seam so flush it's barely visible even in the harsh light of the torch. Behind it, the threat of a small barren crawlspace keeps you distracted while Gaz approaches wielding zip ties. Soap collects both your hands in his own, your attempts to dislodge him almost laughable. The ties bite into the skin of your wrists and ankles, Gaz looking particularly proud of himself. You lunge, trying to bite him, but he just pushes you back against the siding with a firm palm to your forehead and a dark laugh. He holds you in place there, makes you look as he dangles a bloody scrap of fabric in front of you. He waits until you recognize it as Ash's shirt before shoving it into your mouth, holding his palm there while you struggle not to be sick again. He looks almost disappointed when you succeed. Duct tape holds the gag in place, pulled tight enough to cut into the swelling of your cheek. It hurts, and there's no stopping the tears that flow freely down your face, blending and soaking into Ash's tank. Breathing comes hard, nose so swollen you can't rely on it. Instead, you work hard to pull each inhale through tape and wet fabric, every breath tainted with metal and salt.

They don't give you a moment to recover, manhandling you through the port until you're sprawled, face up, in the tiny space behind the false back of the trailer. You try screaming, nearly pass out when you can't get enough air in your lungs. The grating of the metal as the push the panel back into place feels sharp enough to puncture your eardrums, but the stillness that follows when they're done and retreated is even worse. It's hard to hear over your own panting breaths, but then a moment lapses, another. You imagine they're talking, planning. You think this is the most frightened you've ever been in your life, even with everything else that's happened tonight - and then the mag light cuts out, the illuminated seam of the panel door blinking out with it, and the squeal of metal hinges tells you they've locked you in and you know it gets much worse than this.

next>>

[foone]

The rules are simple: Two wizards. Two pistols. No magic.

Now, don't misunderstand: "No magic" of course means "no magic now". The pistols are constructed using magic, of course. Wizards don't carry unenchanted firearms, that'd be silly. You don't spend years learning to bend all the rules of spacetime just to make a gun that shoots lead bullets using exploding powder. No magic just means you don't cast a shield spell while you're taking aim. But if you want to bring a gun you've designed to cast a shield itself when drawn? Go nuts.

So most wizards will have a dedicated dueling gun for these reasons. You want something that helps against the other wizard's enchantments, something that protects you from the effects of their bullets, and casts some protective magic on you. Shields, invisibility, illusions, healing... Your dueling pistol is usually a tricked out masterpiece of everything you know about magic and firearms.

Which is why this pistol in front of you is so worrying.

It's basically virgin. This is the product of a skilled gunsmith, not a wizard. There's no shields, no infinite ammunition, no enchantments on the bullets, which are mere lead and brass. There's some low level enchantments to strengthen the barrel from misfires, and the powder is enhanced to ensure it's always enough. That's the kind of magic you'd find on a pistol you buy from an average gun store, and it'd cost you only a few coins. This is the weapon of an unmagical security guard or a robber, not the dueling weapon of a world-class magician.

Veynor turned up his magic sense as far as he could without melting his eyes out of his head. Could it have an enchantment to hide other enchantments? No, unless they're being powered by half a city's worth of power. And even if they were, that much anti-magic would hide the low level enhancements on the barrel and the powder.

He asks if he can examine the bullets. "Bullet", says the nameless wizard, pulling out the empty magazine and showing it to Veynor. They pull back the slide and eject a single bullet, grabbing it in their other hand with practiced ease. They hand it over, and Veynor stares at it with the kind of intensity you only see when someone is looking not with their eyes. It's... Lead. Lead and powder and brass and a primer and the only magic here just makes sure the powder is sufficient to fire it. That's the kind of enchantment that you cast on a whole batch of bullets to ensure none will misfire, not the kind a wizard intricately carves into each bullet individually to give them a fighting chance in a magic battle.

Veynor hands back the bullet, and the nameless wizard loads it back in their pistol. It's a bluff, it has to be. They're trying to scare me, he thinks. Wizards know the inverse rule of subtlety and power. Your average wizard throwing fireballs and lightning is a student still in their first few years, while an old master will not need to do anything as flashy. They'll just wave a hand dismissively and your entire family line going back seven generations will retroactively be erased... So this has to be a trick. They know they're outclassed (Veynor has been at this for decades, after all), and are trying to psych him out. With a gun this cheap and unpowerful, they're betting that the more powerful wizard will call off the duel out of imagined danger.

Too bad. Veynor is not blinking at the bluff... "Let's do this".

They face away from each other, as if they could only see from their eyes. Veynor holds his pistol high, and the nameless wizard holsters it, their arrogance apparently extending to not needing to have it ready to fire. Another attempt at bluffing, as if Veynor could even call it off now. The rules are clear, and wizard rules aren't the kind you break without consequences.

They take their requisite ten paces, and Veynor flips around and takes aim, his pistol setting up shields and blurring his image as he takes aim at... Nothing? Where's the nameless wizard?! Did he flee? Veynor didn't feel any ripples from a teleport, he must have gone invisible. His gun continues casting spells on him, and he feels the enhanced vision kick in. The morning mist fades and the clouds in the distance come into view, but still no nameless wizard.

Veynor swears. The nameless wizard must have cheated. There's no way that gun could have done this. If it could, he would have seen the enchantment. Well, if they're cheating... He casts a review spell, rewinding time in his mind and watching the duel again. They face away, the take the steps. 1,2,3...

The cloud parts in the distance. There's a rumbling in the ground. Even with enhanced vision it's not obvious what happens. Veynor tries to dismiss the review magic but their magical control is going haywire. Something is very, very wrong. They start to feel like they're being pulled out to sea by an undertow, as the ambient mana field is suddenly becoming a raging river pulling past them.

In their vision, they see the nameless wizard stop at the end of their paces, and turn as they reach for their pistol. As the review ends, they see the holster glow with the colorless light of magic, as an enchantment activates. That's their trick, they placed magic on the holster! But what kind? And what's happening in the sky?

The clouds part to a black circle with a silver rim. The circle grows in size, seemingly, an Veynor casts a farsight spell now to see this from another angle. Casting his vision miles to the side, he sees the circle is a tube descending from the clouds at a shallow angle, pointed right at him... Oh sweet silent mother, that's the barrel of the pistol. It's now big enough to cross the inland sea, with a caliber better described in miles.

The sky goes dark as the barrel blots out the sun, the shadow stretching halfway to the way station at the edge of the wizarding wastes. With his senses stretched by the enchantments on his gun, he sees the events happening in slow motion. There's a click, and a hammer starts moving towards the back of the bullet.

Veynor tries to set up a teleport, an emergency one to anywhere, anyplace, any time but here. The flowing mana is making it difficult but he sees a destination: the abandoned fortress at the other end of the wastes. It'll be easier to get to than outside the wastes, and it'll give him time to set up another jump. The sky shatters as a sound starts coming his way.

With his slowed time sense, it'll be minutes before he can hear the gunshot, but already the shockwave is visible, even to the unaided eye. The bullet is supersonic, however, so no matter what happens he'll never hear that gunshot: either he teleports out of here or the bullet turns him and half the landscape into a fine paste.

He focuses his vision on the fortress, concentrating on finishing the teleport. The soundwave of the gunshot hits the fortress in his sight beyond sight, and it doesn't collapse, exactly, so much as cease being a structure and reverts back to a thousand small stones no longer sharing any association with each other.

With his destination destroyed, his teleport fizzles. The sky is still dark, but the mana flowing towards him has sped up to the point where he's having trouble staying upright, as his footing gets shakier and shakier. He looks up and sees the slug moving towards him at a bit more than the speed of sound, and he closes his eyes.

It doesn't help, his magical senses continue to show him the movement of objects around him, right up until the moment of impact.

The barrier around the wizard wastes goes white, and slowly fades back down through the colors until it returns to its normal semi-transparency.

The nameless wizard catches the hot brass in their right hand, before it hits the rapidly solidifying bedrock under their feet. The wizard wastes are self-healing (you'd be surprised how much even the average wizard duel destroys the landscape), but that's no reason to litter. They look at the deep crater they find themselves in, and start planning a route up the side. Most of it is still flowing, with the sand and rock intermixing in their white hot state, but there's spots here and there that are cooling quicker.

They could try a teleport, but it's a nice day for a bit of rock climbing. Besides, like they always say: half the trick of being a wizard is knowing when not to use magic. And right now the local mana field is a bit chaotic, having just gone through the equivalent of the Chicxulub impact.

They hike up their robes and begin to climb. Their feet may be heat proof, but they don't want to singe their robe again. It's a lot harder to enchant wool with heat protection spells, something to do with how the will of the former owner interferes. They make a note to do more research into the inherent magical abilities of sheep, once they climb out of this crater. Behind them, rocky ejecta finally crashes back into the crater. They wonder if the barrier has a roof, or if they just flung rocks onto the moons. They'll have to ask one of the lunar residents later, and make amends for any property damage.

They'll have to get lunch after this, all this climbing is working up an appetite. Maybe some mutton chops, since they were thinking about sheep? There's a good place on the bigger moon, they haven't been there in a while.

On the moon, there's a small impact, a puff of dust thrown up into the (lack of) air and slowly drifting back down. In the puddle-sized crater, a heavily enchanted pistol lies, still in perfect shape. The engraving on the side, readable in all languages, says "if found, return to Veynor". The dust lands on it, slowly burying it.

[trashogram]

He Chose You (Pt. 14)

Lucifer/Reader: Lucifer chooses you to be the mother of his child. Rated E for Explicit.

(A/N: I know Lute wields a sword. I changed it because.)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 13.5 | Part 14 | End

“Take your hands off of her!” Lucifer’s command was 7 layers of demonic, loud and deep enough to make the clouds quiver. 

Still, Adam held fast to you until you managed to free one arm and slam your elbow into his gut.

“Fuck! Bitch!” He dropped you to the ground, sneering down at you briefly. You bared your teeth, pushing yourself up to barrel into the odious First Man, only to stagger at the impact of someone’s boot colliding with your hip.

“No! ” Lucifer roared, metal scraping beneath his growing claws.  

You fell back to the floor with a cry, pain exploding across your left side. Lute bore a hole into you with her gaze, glowing gold as a jungle cat’s while she kept you pinned by the shoulder with her spear.

“Stay down.” She smirked as you struggled to face her from beneath her weight.

“Fuck you!” You spat. 

“Wa-hoh! Mouthy now aren’tcha?” Adam teased, his eyes still locked on Lucifer tearing at the gate. “This really is your bitch, huh? All bark, no respect.” 

Lucifer snarled, smoke trailing from behind his pointed teeth. “Let. Her. Go.” 

“Or what, little man? Look around. You’re in no position to be making threats.” Adam scoffed, drawing closer and closer to the King of Hell. “You think you can tear down this gate designed to keep you out.” 

As if on cue, the mutilated poles and slats of Heaven’s gate began to reform. They straightened like an unbothered water stream over jagged rocks, until they once again gleamed unbent and reinforced. 

Through the haze of pain and mist rolling from the ground, you could just make out the crowd of angels that had been your audience. There was shuffling, latent gasping, and you could see a rainbow of expressions taking in the scene you were a part of. Yet no one was coming to your aid. No one did so much as protest the sudden violence in their midst. 

You slid a hand out from where it’d been trapped beneath your stomach, reaching out to implore someone for help. No one rushed to your aid, though you had caught the express attention of a few. One in particular — an Angel with rotating rings embedded with eyes for a head — looked at you in what you guessed was shock. 

“Please,” You pleaded. “Don’t let them do this.” 

The angel stalled, frozen at being addressed. One of their blue hands rose halfway, as if to take your shaking hand, but the hesitation remained. Lute instantly drove the spear’s end deeper into your skin, making you yelp and startling the angel back several steps. 

Why was everyone in Heaven so useless???

Lucifer cast a fleeting glance at the sea of ethereal beings that he’d once called family. Their horror meant very little to him — but they were so afraid of him that they refused to help you as you were assaulted in the holy land. 

     The fact that Adam was right — that Lucifer would claw at the gate as much as he wanted but not break through — only added to his abject helplessness and despair.

     Lucifer squeezed his eyes shut, trying to think of a solution before your cry set every nerve in his body alight. Until he wrangled the bars of the once damaged gate again, fruitlessly. The blond swerved up, down and sideways to try and see you, his heart lodged in his throat as Adam’s hulking form blocked you from sight. 

“Please. Stop hurting her.” Lucifer begged in his panic. “Please! I just came up here to make sure she was safe!” 

“Well looks like you fucked that up royally.” Adam snarked. “That’s what you’re best at though, isn’t it?” 

He held Lucifer’s gaze, something like genuine hatred hidden behind that thin veneer of grandiose arrogance. 

    It brought back memories long buried beneath the millennia of Lucifer’s self-loathing. Back when the pain of a broken heart was still fresh and waking each day was akin to bleeding out until there was no feeling left in his limbs. 

Eve gave him a last, discerning look. She placed a hand on his cheek and gave him a half-smile, reminiscent of the ones he’d been graced with after his magic tricks. 

“I love you, Lucifer.” She , basking in his soft grin for just a  longer. 

“But…” A shadow passed over her face. “I can’t go with you.” 

“Eve?” Lucifer’s voice was small to his own ears. 

Her lilac eyes crumpled, smile thinning. She stroked her thumb over the red blush permanently painted on his face, forever signifying joyfulness. It contrasted terribly with the way his face fell as Eve moved away from him. 

“I’m so sorry.” She  with a shuddering breath.

Her hand disappeared from his face, leaving him cold and crestfallen. 

She turned her back on him to walk to the other man waiting at Eden’s entrance. 

     Adam smirked, pulling her with him with the gate swinging back. He looked back at Lucifer, smug save for the twinkle behind his eyes that would swell and grow with unbridled resentment. 

“She’s innocent.” Lucifer looked up at the first man, feeling numb. “Whatever you have against me has nothing to do with her.” 

Adam glowered. “Nobody that fucks with you is innocent.” 

—

Emily’s wings sliced through the air as rapidly as a hummingbird’s would. She’d never tasted anxiety like this before, and decided it was the worst flavor imaginable as she raced through the labyrinth of Heaven’s capitol. 

It was a wonder that Sera had not been the first on the scene when Lucifer himself appeared. Not for the first time, the smaller seraphim wished she had a better understanding of the inner workings of Heaven’s bureaucratic system, and if there was some line of work that could keep Sera in the dark about something so monumental happening just outside paradise. 

      She’d never say it out loud, but Emily was getting tired of being told that she’d learn everything in time. 

Bursting through the War Room for the second time in a day, Emily made quick work of scanning the surroundings. The strategy table was dim, unused. It made the seraphim bite her lip as her anxiety spiked. She had already checked the grand council auditorium, the library, the commencement hall — Sera was nowhere to be found. 

Emily wrung her hands together. 

Had she somehow missed the presence of her greatest friend and mentor in the disarray?!

            Please Guide Us With Your Wisdom

                         Answer My Call

                              Father 

                     Help Me Understand 

Emily froze, arily spellbound by the pull of ancient beyond ancient energy pulsing nearby. 

— 

You groaned. The pain in your back was now shooting up your spine, overtaking the sting of Lute’s spear digging into your side. It was starting to freak you out, as the dissonant feelings of true hurt and spine-tingling reacted together and kept you wriggling on the floor. 

     Lute refused to budge, snorting at your desperation. 

“You’re wasting your time.” She stated matter-of-factly. “Filthy sinners like you are the weakest of the weak. Trying to worm your way out of your own fate.”

The heel of her boot rose just to join the spear in crushing your body. Your moan turned into a whimper as she twisted her foot in your back, as if you were a cigarette butt to stomp out. 

“Or is squirming like a pathetic maggot under your betters what turns sluts like you on?” She was in your face, having bent over to taunt you 

The question was so absurd that it stopped you dead, pain taking a backseat to it. Your eyes bulged out as you regarded her in disbelief.

“No.” Your lips turned up in disgust. “But the fact that you brought that up as a possibility is making me wonder if you’re getting turned on right now?” 

Lute clucked her tongue, chiding you. “Typical of your kind, twisting the truth to cloud the mind with unholy thoughts.” 

Your jaw dropped open as you squinted at the Lieutenant. 

“You’re the one that brought it up!” Your legs kicked and scraped against the floor with your sudden burst of energy. “You fuckin’ weirdo!” 

“That’s rich comin’ from you!” Adam hollered. He had the gall to turn away from a shamefaced Lucifer to look down at you with digitized eyes. “The freaky fuck that literally had the Devil’s dick in her mouth all day every day!” 

     Lute snickered as if her superior had  the funniest thing ever. It had you grimacing while saliva pooled in your mouth. 

“Think about that a lot, do you?” You asked, wincing. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were jealous.” 

“Bitch you wish you could get this dick. Every bitch wishes they could get a piece of this.” Adam retorted cockily. “It is a shame though — if you didn’t fuck yourself on his cock and get yourself killed, I might’ve rocked your world.”

Lute hissed as you met his declaration with a peel of laughter, put off as your frame shook. 

“No need.” You tittered. “Eve made it clear that I wouldn’t be missing much.” 

Something in the air seemed to change at that, as Adam’s grin deflated. “What did you fuckin’ say?” 

Laughing burned your lungs, but you did so with as much gusto as you could muster. 

“Yeah.” You . “You know, Eve? Your wife? The one you left so unsatisfied she was tempted by an adorable snake to abandon you? I think I can take her word for it that you’re not the best lay —”

“You shut your whore mouth right fucking now.” Adam was looming over you in a flash, gritting his static teeth at your mocking expression. “Or I’ll —”

“Or you’ll what?” You jeered. “Keep projecting?”

Adam chuckle was far less boisterous than it had been before as he sank down to your level. 

“I don’t think you get it, cuntbag. You’re in my house. And your little devil dildo over there,” Adam gestured vaguely to Lucifer, then to the rest of Heaven before him. “Ain’t got any power up here.” 

Pressure mounted in your trapezius as Adam pulled you up and close by the jaw. You breathed in the irony burn of circuitry as you were forcibly pressed against Adam’s mask. 

“So why don’t you be a good girl and shut the fuck up before you get yourself smited?” 

Adam tilted his head, as if just now hearing himself talk. “Smited? Smit? Smoted? How the fuck do you say that?” 

“It’s a mystery, sir.” You heard Lute somewhere outside of the blood roaring in your ears. 

Your wings ripped through your skin as though it were paper, sprouting up like the trunk of a great oak tree without regard for anything in its path. 

Lute shouted in surprise as she was catapulted away from you and back into the shrieking crowd, rushing to get out of the way of the projectile exterminator. Your wings knocked her clear out, and the sensation was unlike anything you’d ever felt before, but you lept to your feet as soon as she disappeared. 

Adam exclaimed in surprise at the same time you spied the fallen lieutenant’s spear and snatched it up.  

Hefting it up like a baseball bat, you took a swing and slammed it against the side of Adam’s head. He pitched to one side with a curse, one hand coming up to cradle beneath his horns when you smacked him again. Your adrenaline had spiked, giving you enough strength to whack the stupid thing off with a third strike. 

“What the fuck? What the fuck?!” Adam’s voice lost its booming quality as he was revealed. But there was no time to take in just how pathetically unimpressive he appeared beneath all the angelic garb.

      You wasted no time racing toward Lucifer who, to say looked stunned would be an understatement, and clung to the gate. Your graceless crash seemed to snap him out of his trance, and the peculiar feeling of his still dagger-like claws desperately felt for your hands. 

Your name tumbled from his lips, as honeyed and reverent as a devoted follower looking upon God himself. 

“I love you!” The words were out of your mouth, finally. “I love you. I love you. I love you!” 

His gaze was nearly back to normal, but at their most demonic they still shone with awe. Lucifer’s soft inhale would’ve made you weep had he not suddenly looked behind you in horror. 

“Look out!” There was a split second between his scream, his aggressive tugging as if to pull you through the metallic frames, and your glance back to see the edge of an ax headed right for you. 

Your wing missed being cleaved by a fraction of an inch, fingers unlatching from the gate just in time to avoid being chopped off. 

    You and Lucifer pulled back from each other as the bizarre hybrid weapon scraped against the gilded post between you. The force of it resulted in sparks cast off and into the clouds below. 

Adam’s bulk was frightfully close, his human face twisted in an ugly rage. His arms retracted, guitar-ax rising to once again swing down on you as you skidded backward. 

“Fuck the ‘forgive and forget’ bullshit!” The first man sounded crazed. His eyes were blazing as he targeted you with another swipe. “I knew you were gonna mess everything up as soon as you got here, just like the ungrateful whore you are!” 

‘Jesus Christ.’ You might’ve raised an eyebrow if things were less dire. ‘I was half serious about the whole projecting thing. Damn.’

                                 “ADAM!”

The voice from on high thundered, prying you and Adam from your dual to stare at the source. 

Sera descended upon Heaven’s plane, and you noticed minutely that Emily was beside her, fumbling her fingers together as the crowd of her kin parted like the Red Sea to let them through. 

“Enough of this! You will invoke His wrath upon us all if this continues!” Sera thundered. 

      Lute was fighting against some invisible restraint like a fly in a spider’s web at her right, golden eyes screaming as they flit around to take in the scene she was thrown from. 

You and Adam remained at a standstill, both of you panting heavily as the magnitude of what you’d done caught up with you. You yourself could scarcely believe you’d managed to hold your own as well as you did. 

“She… fuck…” Adam sucked in a deep breath. “She brought him here. She fuckin’ brought Evil to our door! And you let her!” 

“I said enough.” Sera responded. “This has gone too far. Cast your weapons to the side.” 

The Seraphim’s eyes cut from Adam to you, gripping Lute’s spear with shaking hands. 

After a long, tense pause, you dropped the spear and kicked it away. Adam remained petulant until Sera moved to stride over and take the ax-guitar. He tossed it away as if anyone else touching the thing was unthinkable. 

The glorious Seraphim kept stalwart and tall, though her out-of-place curls and stormy eyes betrayed that she was put out. It felt wrong to see her that way. 

“Go to Lucifer.” 

You blinked up at her. 

“And bid him goodbye. Forever.” 

You trembled like you’d been doused in ice water, spear falling to the ground. Internally you wanted to scream at the mere prospect of being separated from Lucifer. Again. 

    Never seeing him again was logical. It was the only conclusion to all of this, really. But unlike before, when you could convince herself that missing him was enough, Lucifer was within reach. 

The line of your mouth trembled, eyes growing wet and glassy. The shake of your head when you couldn’t utter the word ‘no’ was pointedly ignored by Sera. She stood like a mountain, waiting for you to obey. 

Your name was called, and you pivoted to see Lucifer. He was smiling softly, it too trembling as he waited outside the gateway where you and Adam had migrated closer to in your fight. 

       Lucifer beckoned you with an outstretched hand, reaching into a viper’s den to bring you close again. Tears pooled from your eyes and trailed down your cheeks as you made your way toward him on shaky legs. 

You paused before walking past the gold and platinum ax that sparkled in the corner of your eye. 

“She can’t do it.” Adam accused behind your back. “She can’t fucking do it! She can spread her legs for the root of all Evil, but she can’t even —”

Was it possible?

To black out for ten seconds?

Fuck if you knew. 

It only became apparent that you’d turned round with Adam’s guitar in both hands after it was far, far too late.

     The ax cut through balmy air, glittering in the omnipresent sunlight before it hit its mark. Golden blood spurt in all directions, splashing over your face, neck and shoulders. Some of it burst into your mouth, gaping as you realized what you’d just done. 

     Adam’s headless body continued to stand upright for several seconds before it collapsed at your feet. 

*

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[tasiawrites]

Slashers and their black partner getting their hair and nails done

ft. Brahms Heelshire, Micheal Myers, Jason Voorhes, Thomas Hewitt, Vincent Sinclair and Billy Loomis + Stu Matcher

contains: general fluff, poly Ghostface (i think that's it idk let me know)

Brahms Heelshire

you had to sneak out at 3 am even to be able to leave to get them done in the first place.

did three days worth of food prep only to be back in under 26 hours

Brahms was NOT happy and wanted to hurt you but then his brain clicked

loves the feeling of your nails on his scalp, might forgive you (if you give him some extra kisses)

likes playing with your hair, even if you say no you owe him

will allow you to get them done every two months ONLY because he likes the feeling of you playing in his hair with your nails done.

"kiss?" Brahms asked in his childlike voice as he stood at the foot of your bed later that night. you rolled your eyes at his voice decision after his behavior earlier but allowed him into your bed for late-night cuddles. you placed a few kisses on his porcelain mask. "I'm sorry for leaving without telling you Brahmsy," you coaxed running your fingers through his hair as he settled in next to you. 

Micheal Myers

didn't even notice you were gone until he did the math, trips to the store DO NOT take 10 hours

hoe where is you at?

He kinda sulking when you get back

likes the hair didn't notice the nails AT ALL

pulls a single braid every chance he gets and he pulls it HARD

he learns that 10+ hours out means a new hairstyle to fuck with, sometimes he follows you

"oh come on Michael," you rolled your eyes at the sulking man on your couch. he doesn't even look at you until you stand directly in front of him. he ignores you and you eventually give up and continue about your evening. that is until you felt a tug on a braid that slipped out of your bonnet. a hard tug. you turn to find a smug-looking Micheal with the end in his hand. well, at least he's not mad. it took him until the third day to realize your nails were done.

Billy Loomis and Stu Matcher

you did tell them, they just forgot 

you come back and they acting like you went missing for nine years

Stu loves the hair while Billy loves the nails

you spend the next few hours giving kisses and being showered with praise

every other time you go at least one of them goes with you

you walked into Stu's house slightly confused at the silence. you were just about to call one of them when Billy came barreling down the stairs half dressed in his Ghostface costume. "um.. hi?" you tried as he quickly began searching you for injuries as Stu came down the stairs asking too many questions in quick succession.  after calming them down, you sat between them as they played with your hair and nails respectively. 

Thomas Hewitt

The Texas heat was making your hair hard to maintain so you asked Luda Mae if you could get a few days off so you could fix that

you had to go three towns over to get it done

to thank her you got Hoyt to drop Luda Mae off so you both could manicures and pedicures

Thomas was too excited to see you after three days to realize your hair was done

when he did he spent an unnatural amount of time just, looking at you??

he's so in love

also loves it when your nails massage his head, especially after a long day at work

misses you every time you leave but he gets to see a new hairstyle so it balances out, he does miss playing with your natural hair tho

"hi Tommy," you whisper as he crawls into bed next to you. he gathers you up into his arms and you give him a soft smile. he connects his lips to yours and you run your fingers through his hair and rub on his scalp. he shudders and a low sound of approval climbs out of his throat.

Vincent Sinclair

I mean he doesn't stop you from going anywhere, he's just pouty about it

spends the night you spent in the other town making wax figurines of you

he's so happy when you get back

you get your nails the color of his eye, a lovely brown with a pretty white design to accompany it.

absolutely obsessed with your hair. 

like he likes the nails but by god does he love your hair

the next time you go hes vibrating with excitement, he can't wait to see what you do next

"Vinny?" you call as you walk down into the basement. it did not take long for Vincent to come around the corner looking as excited as someone with a mask on his face could look. with hasty footsteps, he approached you hands fidgeting in excitement. it only took a small nod from you to have the lanky man all over you. he took your hand in his and watched the nails closely before his fingers played with your hair. the next morning you found a small wax figurine of yourself on your bedroom side table.

Jason Voorhees

poor baby, you almost gave him a heart attack

he thought you left him

sulky large man

when you come back he's like O-O 

very happy, thinks you're so pretty

puts flowers in your hair and is very gentle with it

likes to see your nails when you hold his hands

please give him a heads-up next time

he waits with wildflowers for you to return

Jason's fingers clumsily placed another flower in your hair. it dislodged another one that you quickly caught and handed back to him. it took a few more flowers for him to be satisfied and when he was he gave a grunt and lifted you to your feet. "ready to go home?" you asked the large man as he intertwined his finger with yours happily rubbing his thumb over the smoothness of your nails.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

this has nothing to do with the poll, it has been stewing in my drafts for a minute

POLY GHOSTFACE IS THE ONLY CORRECT OPTION good night

n e way lemme go study for my exams

[ryescapades]

aubade · ₊˚ˑ༄ؘ°࿐ | kaiju no. 8

— there is you, and then there is him. as dawn breaks, love lays its claim.

fluff prompt: palm kisses <3 characters: hoshina soshiro x gn weapon specialist!reader

genre/warning: fluff, mutual pining, ooc hoshina prolly, indirect confession, takes place after the sagamihara operation's celebration party, narumi cameo bcs why not

a/n: specially made for my lovely moot @/spookuna <3 i'm a bit attached to this one ngl..

2.9k wc

they say it is a soldier's pride to be able to serve the country they've sworn their lives on. duty, honor and discipline; these are all necessary in order to bring out the best in oneself to protect what matters to them.

expectedly, it is no different in the jakdf. bound by duty, the officers, no matter what position or department they're in, are well aware of the obligation they have to adhere to. they hone their skills and take pride in their abilities to be the best version of themselves so as to protect the lives of the people from the onslaught of kaiju in any way they can.

however, as a defense force officer yourself, your pride lies in your weapons. specifically, the weapons that you made.

ever since you were a mere child, all you've ever known was the forging of heated metals and the whirring sound of machines. the you from years ago used to enjoy watching the process of weapon-making, both machinery and man-made alike. hence, it is only natural that you grew up pursuing a career born out of your interest; a weapon specialist in the jakdf.

you were one of their best, in fact. hardworking and dedicated, you were deserving enough to be stationed at the first division base, where all the cream of the crops reside. studying and researching together with your fellow engineers in the process of making kaiju-specialized arsenals have become as natural as eating your daily meals.

additionally, discussing about the weapons with the soldiers themselves for any improvements is something you'd grown to enjoy doing.

and unbeknownst to most of those around you, you might just have the slightest bit of favoritism towards one soldier in particular...

"how was it, the blaze round? or is the explosive one still better?" you inquire during one afternoon in the testing lab. the first division officer turns to you while holding the rifle containing said blazing cartridges, half of it already emptied after the shooting trial.

"it's working well, y/n-san! your idea of flaming bullets is really doing wonders, seriously. but i do think the design could be better though, for instance..." as he drones on about what upgrades you could add to the gun, you listen with rapt attention, jotting down new ideas on your notebook. after the testing session ends, you mull over your notes in the silence of the now-empty lab.

a curious voice, fused with a bit of bafflement then brings you out of your headspace that is previously filled with a bunch of chemicals, kaiju remains and mechanical parts.

"you're still doing tests on that fire gun-thingy?" you lift your head up to see captain narumi waltzing in, the usual air of confidence and nonchalance sticking to him like a second skin.

you perk up, throwing him a quick salute. "yep, as usual! still got a long way to go though. there's so many stuff i need to fix, especially the cartridge and the substance formula. and there's the barrel part too—"

narumi grimaces, "okay, okay, chill, y/n. i'm only here to pick up my weapon, not to hear you nerd out about your little experiment," he huffs, walking over to the corner of the lab where his bayonet case is kept. you only give a responding chuckle and a lighthearted apology.

being the nosy ass that he is, narumi peeks over your figure to glimpse at what you're working on. however, his magenta hues latch on to your hands. in all the years he's known you, narumi has only ever seen you with your gloves on but today, your hands are bare and free from the confine of those military-issued fabrics.

with the case now slung over his shoulder, he's about to interrogate you about the lines he'd just seen on your palms when your phone that was sitting on the desk rings, a familiar name flashing on the screen.

the captain clicks his tongue. "the heck does this asshole want from you?" he questions in annoyance, albeit while sliding the device to you all the same just as you ask him who's calling.

he takes note of the way your eyes light up when they land upon the name of the caller, a smile quirking up on your face as you feel your heart skipping a (few too many) beat. you immediately slide a finger across the screen to put the call on speaker so that you can still look over your findings and talk to him all the while.

right, speaking of favoritism...

"vice-captain hoshina?" you cheerily greet, and narumi forces himself to hold in a gag (spoiler: he fails) when the man on the other line speaks up, "hey there. you free right now?" internally, you almost punched yourself at how giddy you get after hearing the smooth and light baritone of hoshina's voice.

you send your captain a glare before shooing him out with a wave of your hand. gruntling under his breath, the bicolor-haired man rolls his eyes as he pushes the door on his way out. "damn lovebirds,"

you ignore his not-so vague comment, fully focused on the one you're currently in love speaking with. "no, not really. i was just testing out some new stuff. why?" you query.

"you've heard about the sagamihara operation, right? well, ya see... one of my blades broke while i was fightin' no. 8, and the other one is pretty scratched up. i'm afraid i'd have to get the spare ones you keep at the hq," hoshina explains, and your eyebrows raise in shock.

"what? i've only heard that the mission turned out quite the struggle in the end, but nothing about no. 8 showing up. are you okay?" hoshina finds himself to be a lucky man, for you're not there with him to see how wide he's smiling, his cheeks practically hurt from your expression of concern for him.

"i'm all good, don't worry, dear. and besides, i won't be taken down so easily like that, ya know? have some faith in me, yeah?" you blush slightly at the nickname and his teasing tone before letting out a small laugh. "sorry, sorry. i do have faith in you, vice-captain. you hold that 'strongest close-quarters combatant' title for a reason, no?" you muse, not even bothering to keep the sheer honesty from flowing out.

the grip on his own phone tightens, relishing in the subtle praise sneaking behind your words. throughout his years in the defense force, people have complimented him on his hand-to-hand skills, sure. more often so now that he's a high-ranking officer in the third division. but when it comes to you, it just feels... right. assuring, somehow.

hoshina chuckles breathily, "you're right. so, about my swords... should i go there to pick it up or will you be sending a courier for it?"

for a moment you contemplate, weighing over your decisions. on one side, you really don't have any other purpose to go all the way to tachikawa apart from delivering the weapon. plus, your schedule is not exactly flexible enough to be making such impromptu visits to another base.

on the other hand, going to tachikawa means you get to see him. and deliver the weapon, obviously. but the way you see it, meeting him is enough reason for you to confidently set your choice.

"actually... you know what? i'll be going to tachikawa myself,"

if it were anybody else, you would've reprimanded them for disregarding their duties so carelessly like this. why do something so pointlessly time-consuming when there's a more effective way of doing it? or something along the lines of 'you should stick true to your obligation as a defense force officer, something something, blah blah...'

but who could blame you, really. for hoshina soshiro, you would take the tiniest crumb of chance to see him standing in front your very eyes, only to remind yourself time and time again that he's the one your heart longs for.

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

the hour clock strikes around six in the morning when you step foot onto the third division's turf, the sun still on its way to reach above the horizon for the incoming dawn.

you had taken some good five minutes of lecturing yourself about impulsively making a trip to another base, hands gripping tight on the steering wheel as you eventually came to terms with the fact that you were, indeed, driving by yourself from the ariake maritime base straight to tachikawa.

being the responsible officer that you are, you informed captain narumi of your little quote unquote adventure, which he only cackled at. you definitely did not bribe him with a new disc game of his choosing for his bs5 if he promised not tell on you to your superiors...

now, as you settle your belongings in the third division's library, you suddenly feel the nerves wrecking inside. it's quite a silly issue, really. it's not like this is the first time you're meeting hoshina. truth be told, you think you've seen more of him than captain ashiro, even though the latter is the more frequent visitor to the main headquarters out of the two.

you can't help it. everything about hoshina just makes you feel nervous, shy, but warm and happy all the same. your heart would beat a thousand miles per hour when he's near, heat rushing to every part of your body as if you had just burned yourself. well, maybe that's partly accurate, with how stupidly and ridiculously hot hoshina soshiro is—

a knock on the door interrupts your train of improper thoughts.

a figure stands at the huge opened entrance, leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed against his— oh, sweet lord... he's wearing that compression shirt again. it takes every ounce of your willpower to not let your eyes stray anywhere below the turtleneck-line, lest you're in for a lifetime of teasing by the man.

you're a bit unlucky, it seems. because when you finally look at him, there is a knowing glint in his wine-tinted irises, as if he understands exactly what goes on in your mind, though he produces no word to address it.

"vice-captain, hi," you start, then proceed to mentally smack yourself because what the heck is that lame-ass greeting?

hoshina smiles, and your eyes greedily take in the sight of his curled up mouth. "hi yourself. how was the drive? i was worried for a second when ya said you're comin' here alone. you could've taken the shinkansen... or better yet, i could've gone there myself," thin eyebrows furrowing slightly, he approaches where you stand in the middle of the room where a metal table sits among others.

you laugh sheepishly, scratching gingerly on the skin of your cheek. "traffic was okay, thanks. and this is kind of an impulsive idea, really. i went straight to my car without thinking instead of going to the train station. plus, i wanted to give these to you myself," you say, mentioning to the leather sheaths sitting on the table.

hoshina tilts his head, giving you a confused smile, "why so? aren't they the same ol' blades like the ones i've been using before?" he asks, which causes your expression to brighten.

grabbing the weapons in your hands, you excitedly unsheathe the twin swords before displaying them in front of him. the blades are familiar, marked as his signature weapon SW-2033, gleaming sharp in the dim light of the library and shaped as similarly as his old ones.

"they are, but i added some touch ups to them too! i did some tweaking in the metal constitution of the blades to make them lighter, but more sturdy and tough to cut through harder things. they're supposedly more responsive to any change in your combat power too. the new composition has some kaiju remains in it, but you didn't hear that from me, okay?" you whisper the last part cheekily.

hoshina laughs, comfortably taking the swords when you hand them out to him and slowly turning them back and forth for observation, awestruck with your creation when suddenly a small detail catches his eyes. "what's this?" he mutters curiously, bringing the handle of the swords for a closer scrutiny.

you immediately straighten up at his attentiveness, your arms sliding behind your back and your fingers starting to play with the hem of your gloves from the jitters. "ah, that. well, i figured the swords would hold out much longer this time. so i thought it wouldn't hurt to do a little mark of ownership on each of them," you mumble, holding your breath while gauging his reaction all the same.

there, beside the jagged, razor-sharp edge of the dark steel blade, a small and intricate swirl of his first name is carved, along with a pressed mark of your own initials just above the izumo tech logo at the hilt.

there's a lump his throat, his slanted eyes widening in surprise.

bashfulness washes over you when he doesn't say anything, still staring at the weapons. "o-of course, i can remove my name if that's what you're concerned about! the hilt is easy to be swapped so—"

"no, they're perfect... thank you," he breathes.

your own eyes widen, gulping down the nervousness that is starting to dwindle down a bit, thankfully. you inwardly smile, relieved at how this is turning out. "think nothing of it! it's just something i thought to do in passing and it's not like there are many others in the defense force who specializes in swordsmanship." your hand reaches up to brush it off.

hoshina suddenly freezes when his eyes latch onto your gloved hand, the piece of stitched up cloth slightly nudged up from your earlier fidgeting to reveal a smidgen of your palm, causing you to tense slightly. you move to hide your hand from his view but your speed is no match against his; the man snatches it into his own, frowning deeply.

he puts aside the twin blades and takes a step towards you. one of his slender, much longer fingers slides under the dark fabric, exposing more and more of your palm to his amaranthine gaze at such a slow pace that it just makes the embarrassment to settle even deeper, simmering in the depth of your stomach and causing shivers to run down the length of your back.

eventually, the glove comes off and his eyes rove over the skin of your palm. it's soft to the touch, hoshina thinks. even so, he can't help but to stare at the lines upon lines of raised skin, ragged and roughly positioned on the surface. your hand is severely scarred.

you try to clench your hand into a fist and pull back but the swordsman seems persistent enough that you just relent, looking away to avoid his eyes. "it's bad, isn't it?" you smile, no mirth whatsoever.

play with knives, and you're bound to get nicked, you'd heard once.

his downturned expression remains. "it is. did you get them while refining my new swords?" he questions quietly into the air between you. your teeth catches on your bottom lip before you let out a low hum, "i always get them when i refine your swords.” the space around you grows tight, and the next thing that happens causes your chest to be even tighter.

hoshina moves closer into your space, your forehead almost knocking against him as he brings your palm to his lips. your mouth dries and feels like sandpaper as the airy, featherlight sensation continues to descend on various spots on your skin a few more times, your pulse quickening as he trails them to your wrist. he's careful with his fangs, but the sudden appearance of his tongue has you gasping slightly. it's wet, and it's warm against your skin. "w-what..." you stammer.

"it's beautiful. you're beautiful, y/n," hoshina murmurs, causing the sharp intake of your breath as the blood in your veins pumps in a frenzy.

he glances up to see your fluttering eyes and reddened cheeks. with those as the only indications he needs, he closes the distance to press his lips onto yours in a shy, tender kiss.

finally, your foolish little heart wants to scream. after months of lingering eye contacts, of shy touches, whispered praises and not-so-platonic gestures. after months of dancing around these intense, dizzying feelings.

the softness of your mouth gives to the pressure of his, dancing unhurriedly against each other as you savor the heat he emits. hoshina holds you close, your imperfectly perfect hand cradled protectively against his chest as his free hand comes up to steady a palm over your warm cheek.

he pulls back slowly to give you space and take a minute but you follow him, eyes still closed and lips chasing after his in an attempt to be connected once more. hoshina breathes out a chuckle and calls out for you, fondness seeping out from each syllable of your name that has you opening your eyes to peer at his own.

and here, as the first rays of sunlight pour through the windows of the library, casting a golden hue across the room and painting him in such an exquisite way it leaves the air rushing out of your lungs. the bell chimes somewhere in your mind, the musical vibrations synchronizing with the love you hold for the man in front of you.

somewhere in the back of your mind, you’ve never thought so beautifully of your hands ever before.

what i would give to be otp with hoshina like i'm his actual gf ... *cries in non fiction

©🅁🅈🄴🅂🄲🄰🄿🄰🄳🄴🅂. do not steal, translate or repost my work anywhere else !

[ellecdc]

💰jingle jingle💰

how much for you to continue the barty shirt fic where they make it up to the tower and tell the marauders🤭

I'll give you this one for free but the rest will cost you

Barty Crouch Jr x potter!reader who tattles on Jegulus

CW: making fun of only children, siblings insulting one another, platonic Prongsfoot drama, no real angst - just chaos Continuation of this one shot

The trek from the Slytherin dungeons up the Gryffindor tower in a full sprint was unideal for even the most athletic and fit quidditch player in the castle; but if there was one thing a lifetime worth of living with James Potter and his pranking ways prepared you for, it was running.

Fortunately for you, this was not a universal experience and you were quickly able to leave Regulus and Barty well enough behind you.

You screamed the password at the Fat Lady who shrieked in fear when she saw you barrelling towards her causing her to open so quickly that the portrait thwacked against the stone walls and you all but dived into the common room. 

You stood up straight as your chest burned to survey the patrons of the common room only to find that the entire common room was already doing the same to you.

“Circe’s tits, Potter.” Lily said with a smirk. “You look like you were trying to outrun Peeves.”

Your smile turned devious as you continued panting. “Better.” You answered quickly, turning your sights towards your brother, Peter, Remus, and…

“Sirius!” You greeted as you speed-walked over to their sofas.

“Hey Trouble; get tired of the snakes?” Sirius teased as he moved a chess piece with an air of nonchalance.

You were eager to change that.

Before you could open your mouth, two Slytherin’s came spilling into the common room before the portrait had a chance to close behind them.

“I’m so glad you could join me for this.” You taunted Regulus who’s jaw tightened as he straightened himself up and shook Barty’s hand off his shoulder.

“Isn’t this a nice shirt, Siri?”

Sirius looked up at that as he considered your form. “Yeah, actually; that’s designer, right?”

You look down at it with a smirk when you heard Regulus whisper a cautionary, “Potter.”

“I’m not sure…it’s got a little crown on the sleeve.” You explained innocently.

Sirius’ eyebrows widened at that. “Shit. Yeah those are super expensive; but great quality and super soft. Great choice, Junior.”

“Thank you!” Barty accepted eagerly. “See Treasure? Black gets it.”

You smirked as you looked over at James who you could see by now was clearly sweating. “Right…but I actually stole this from Jamie’s trunk.”

James’ eyes shot to Regulus as yours moved back to Sirius who was staring at you bemusedly.

“That is not Prongs’ shirt, and didn’t Junior just admit it was his?”

“Nope.” Barty answered with a pop of the p. “I admitted buying it.”

“Why are you buying clothes for James?” Remus asked cautiously then, eyes darting nervously between your mischievous form, James’ anxious form, Regulus’ tense form, and Sirius’ confused form.

“Oh, I’d never buy clothes for that Potter.” Barty scoffed. “That shirt was Reggie’s birthday present last year.”

The sound of Peter’s hand slapping against his mouth as he stared at you all wide eyed was the only sound in the entire common room.

Remus was holding his book in front of his face like a shield as he watched the spectacle that was his friend group.

Finally, Lily let out a long suffering sigh. “Potter, you might want to take this chance to get a head start.”

“Right.” James agreed quickly as he took off towards the portrait hole, pausing as he passed Regulus, seeming to decide since he was already going to die tonight, he may as well go big or go home.

He paused long enough to pull Regulus into a searing kiss before ripping away from him and taking off out of the common room.

The room continued to sit silently as everyone digested what they just saw.

“Did we seriously lose both Potter’s to Slytherin’s?” Marlene asked finally, causing Regulus to scoff.

“Like you’ve got a leg to stand on here, McKinnon.”

“At least I’m not fucking my brother’s best friend!” She volleyed back, causing Sirius to let out a dramatic gagging sound.

“You lot really need to spend less time worrying about who your siblings are shagging.” Peter said with an air of finality.

“Thank you!” You and Regulus chorused, causing you to glare at one another.

“You’re taking this rather well, Pads.” Remus chuckled, tapping Sirius’ knee with his book as Sirius continued staring unseeingly at the portrait hole.

“Mhm.”

Remus and Peter exchanged a worried glance. “What are you waiting for?” Peter asked finally.

“James will get lonely when he realizes no one is chasing him.” He replied in monotone. “He’ll be back in a few.”

“Sirius, please be cool about this; I’m happy, alright?” Regulus sighed in exasperation.

Sirius’ eyes flit over to his younger brother as his brows furrowed. “Listen, am I particularly pleased about…this? No. But that’s not what I’m going to kill him for.”

“What are you going to kill him for?” You inquired, wondering if it was worth writing home to your parents about.

The second your sentence finished, James cautiously stepped back through the portrait hole to find the common room in much the same state as he’d left it.

Suddenly, Sirius stood from his spot on the sofa. “ALL THOSE TIMES YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE TOO BUSY TUTORING TO PRANK WITH ME, YOU WERE DITCHING ME FOR MY BROTHER!?”

The room collectively grimaced as they looked over at James. 

“Listen mate, it’s not what it looks like.” James pleaded, earning him a scoff from his best friend.

“It isn’t what it looks like!? Because the way it looks to me is that you lied, and you kept secrets! You know, there was a point in this relationship that trust and honesty meant something!” Sirius shouted back.

“It does!” James offered quickly. “It does, Pads! Swear it!”

“Right, forgive me, but your word means nothing to me right now.” He spat as he went storming up towards their shared dorm, James quickly following behind.

“Please don’t shut me out like this; you’re still my other half!”

But the rest of the argument performance was silenced when the door to their room shut behind them.

“Well, Regulus.” Remus sighed with a tired smile. “Welcome to the family; our boyfriend’s are each other’s boyfriends, and this happens every three days.”

“Salazar’s fucking balls.” Regulus groaned as he threw his head back. “This is why I didn’t want it going public.”

“Oi!” You shouted as you lobbed a throw pillow at your new future brother-in-law. “If you’re going to love my brother, love him with your whole chest, coward!”

“You take that back.” He hissed at you.

“I’ll do no such thing.”

“I…I don’t know what to do…should…should we get a professor? What’s happening?” Barty started, looking around the Gryffindor common room with a look of panic on his face.

“Oh, relax, Junior. Your only child is showing.” Remus sighed as he pulled his book back out.

“Aren’t you an only child, Lupin?”

“Yup.” Remus responded as he turned a page of his book. “But I’ve lived in the same tower as the Potters for seven years, and dealt with Sirius and Regulus for the past two; you pick up a few things. Things like this-” he explained as he pointed towards you and Regulus who were still throwing insults back and forth. “Is what siblings call bonding.”

Lily chuckled as Marlene, Barty, Peter, and Remus watched as you called Regulus a “spoiled rotten toerag” to which he replied that “even listening to your voice made him feel like he was losing brain cells”.

“Siblings are weird.” Barty decided.