#Baek Se-hee

[appleinducedsleep]

24-12-2023 | 🍲 | Baek Se-hee, I Want to Die But I Want to Eat Tteokpokki

I wonder about others like me, who seem totally fine on the outside but are rotting on the inside, where the rot is this vague state of being not-fine and not-devastated at the same time.

[thequeerlibrarian]

Started I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki 😍

[rains-of-words]

If you have unrealistically high standards, you will forever be creating reasons to see yourself as inadequate, as someone who needs endless improvement.

Baek Se-hee, I Want to Die But I Want to Eat Tteokpokki

[6peaches]

What do I wish for? I want to love and be loved. Without suspicion, and with ease. That's it.

Baek Se-hee, I Want to Die But I want to Eat Tteokbokki

[caritasangelus]

how do we get out of a dark room? when your head is one even though everything else is so bright?

heaven by troye sivan | mural by mahmoud darwish | you guys by ocean vuong | happy thought ii by jason walker | i want to die but i want to eat tteokbokki by baek se-hee | the field of rooms and halls by richard siken | i am trying to reach you by @caritasangelus | straw house, straw dog by richard siken | inktober day 15: emptiness by dariogolab | giovanni's room by james baldwin

[pleaseanotherbook]

I want to die but I want to eat tteokbokki di Baek Se-hee

Me: Then I feel like I'm rationalising and stop myself. Psychiatrist: What's wrong with rationalising? Me: It feels like I'm refusiong to accept the truth. Psychiatrist: It's a perfectly reasonable mechanism. It's you trying to find reasons behind your hurt or your decisions. Me: It's all right if I use it to protect myself? Psychiatrist: Of course. You're making a rational judgement. It becomes a problem if you overdo it, but there are many ways it can be looked at as a positive.

"I want to die but I want to eat tteokbokki" di Baek Se-hee è uno di quei libri che è entrato nella lista delle cose da leggere per due motivazioni principali: è una lettura suggerita da Kim Namjoon (RM dei BTS) e ho deciso di leggere tutti i libri Coreani su cui riesco a mettere le mani (e ho un buon numero di volumi che mi attendono e che mi bastano per i prossimi dieci anni). E se ogni volta che mi fisso su un qualcosa questo inizia a ricoprire ogni aspetto della mia vita forse ho un qualche problema, ma sarà un qualcosa di cui preoccuparsi in un altro momento. Intanto questo libro è stato tradotto da Mondadori con il titolo "Vorrei farla finita, ma anche mangiare toppokki", inoltre ne è stato annunciato un sequel intitolato "I want to die but I still want to eat tteokbokki" in uscita a giugno 2024. 

Baek Se-hee è giovane, ha una laurea in Scrittura creativa e lavora per una casa editrice: ha una vita apparentemente serena, una carriera che dovrebbe farla sentire appagata. Eppure un forte malessere esistenziale l'accompagna, non una vera e propria depressione, piuttosto un'apatia cronica che le impedisce di vivere pienamente i rapporti di amicizia, l'amore, i successi lavorativi. Baek si rivolge a uno psichiatra per cercare di dare un nome al suo stato d'animo e scopre di soffrire di distemia, una forma più lieve della depressione, ma con sintomi persistenti. Trascrivendo le sedute settimanali con lo psichiatra, Baek racconta con semplicità e ironia le difficoltà che si trova a vivere giorno dopo giorno; l'ansia del non saper gestire al meglio le nuove amicizie, l'ossessione per il proprio aspetto fisico, l'insicurezza provocata dal giudizio degli altri suscitano in lei una serie di meccanismi di difesa e comportamenti autolesionisti. E, soprattutto, un alternarsi continuo tra la sensazione di vuoto lancinante e l'allegria di una serata con gli amici; tra l'apatia e il desiderio impellente di uscire per gustare un bel piatto di gnocchi di riso saltati in padella e conditi con salsa piccante: i toppokki, il suo street food preferito. Come conciliare queste sensazioni così distanti tra loro?

Quando ho aperto questo libro avevo già in mente tutta un'idea di quello che ci avrei trovato dentro, mi ero costruita un'immagine sulla base del titolo che mi avrebbe portato a scoprire chissà quale profonda verità, che mi avrebbe regalato chissà quale segreto. Poi quando l'ho letto mi sono trovata davanti a qualcosa di completamente diverso, che andava a scavare nella storia di Baek Se-hee in maniera totale. Si tratta infatti delle trascrizioni delle sue conversazioni con la sua terapeuta mentre cerca disperatamente un equilibrio nella sua esistenza frenetica e incerta. La voce della protagonista emerge chiara nel suo percorso, con le sue fragilità e le sue paure, in un periodo in cui tutto sembra troppo complesso. Si muove nello spazio delle sue interazioni con chi la circonda con l'indecisione di chi non sa bene chi è e che vuole essere semplicemente amata. Tutte le conversazioni che cercano di scavare in ogni aspetto della vita della protagonista, si concentrano sul raggiungimento di una certa consapevolezza. Non c'è spazio per abbellimenti o censure quando ci si mette a nudo, si è ruvidi, incerti, spaventati, e tutto diventa incredibilmente difficile, esporre i propri segreti lascia nudi, senza pelle, fragili. Ed è questo che rende interessante il volume: lo scoprire i propri pensieri più intimi e la capacità del lettore di riconoscersi in quel dolore e in quelle mancanze che in un qualche modo diventano universali. Il rapporto con il cibo, il proprio aspetto fisico, il rapporto con il partner, con gli amici, con la famiglia, il lavoro, il tempo libero. Ogni aspetto dell'esistenza della protagonista viene posta al microscopio in un percorso di terapia volto a risolvere gli insoluti, sciogliere i nodi. Da un lato essere una people pleaser e dall'altro rifuggire rapporti che vadano davvero a scavare dentro, dall'altro la voglia di rispettare quelli che pensa essere i canoni di bellezza, la forma fisica perfetta che dovrebbe coincidere con la bellezza. In loop continuo di recriminazioni che si condensano nell'ansia di non essere mai all'altezza, la Se-hee si muove senza grosse certezze e con la paura di non essere abbastanza. Quello che ne emerge è che chiedere aiuto è importante e necessario e non dobbiamo aver paura di mostrarci deboli, fragili, indifesi, a volte sta tutto lì in quell'istante necessario a tendere una mano. Parlare, confrontarsi e analizzare diventano i passi necessari per uscire da un loop devastante che sfrangia la nostra esistenza e ci rende del tutto inconsapevoli e destinati a stare male a lungo. Non siamo mai pronti a trattare la nostra salute mentale con la cura che riserviamo agli altri aspetti del nostro corpo. Se ci fa male una gamba andiamo a farci visitare, se ci fa male il cuore ce ne stiamo in un angolo ad angustiarci senza prenderci cura della parte più importante della nostra vita. 

Il particolare da non dimenticare? I tteokbokki...

Baek Se-hee naviga i confini del suo mondo, analizzando la sua vita in una serie di illuminanti conversazioni con la sua terapeuta, mentre le risposte sembrano sempre più lontane, i meccanismi per riconoscere gli schemi distruttivi diventano sempre più chiari, in un percorso che è allo stesso tempo estremamente personale e assolutamente universale, e vi assicuro che vale la pena assaggiare i tteokbokki almeno una volta nella vita, soprattutto raccolti in un banchetto di street food insieme a un hotteok fumante, ma questa è una storia per un'altra volta.

Buona lettura guys!

[samireads]

March wrap up. I was coming off the SKZ high from last month and I went to Japan… this was the result 🫣

[haveyoureadthispoll]

PSYCHIATRIST: So how can I help you? ME: I don't know, I'm – what's the word – depressed? Do I have to go into detail? Baek Sehee is a successful young social media director at a publishing house when she begins seeing a psychiatrist about her - what to call it? - depression? She feels persistently low, anxious, endlessly self-doubting, but also highly judgmental of others. She hides her feelings well at work and with friends, performing the calmness her lifestyle demands. The effort is exhausting, overwhelming, and keeps her from forming deep relationships. This can't be normal. But if she's so hopeless, why can she always summon a yen for her favorite street food: the hot, spicy rice cake, tteokbokki? Is this just what life is like? Recording her dialogues with her psychiatrist over a twelve-week period, and expanding on each session with her own reflective micro-essays, Baek begins to disentangle the feedback loops, knee-jerk reactions, and harmful behaviors that keep her locked in a cycle of self-abuse. Part memoir, part self-help book, I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki is a book to keep close and to reach for in times of darkness. It will appeal to anyone who has ever felt alone or unjustified in their everyday despair.

[kyl0]

Babylon boys.

[crazykpopfanart]

The Real Has Come! ep 32

[passionforfiction]

Today's Webtoon

For someone that likes to read webtoons, this series was so nice to watch. It gives us a window to how webtoon creation and publication works. I like the characters: artists and the PDs. Their stories ranged from sweet to sad, but it was great to see the all reached their own happiness. Even though this series is not a romantic drama, it did have its romantic touches that made it sweeter. It leaves this subplot in the opening as they accomplish their dream as a team and move on to the next collective dream. I wonder what will happen with Oh Ma Eum's relationship with Seok Ji Hyung and Jun Yeong. But even though it leaves that question open, it doesn't leave me disappointed or wanting to know what happens. I think that it just reminds us that life continues even after one chapter of our lives ends and things will happen at their own sweet time, there is no need to force things.

Work drama that will keep you smiling and cheering for the characters. Really loved it.

Poster from SBS Contents Hub - https://programs.sbs.co.kr/special/sbscontentshub/about/74579

[appleinducedsleep]

You keep obsessively holding yourself to these idealised standards, forcing yourself to fit them. It’s another way, among many, for you to keep punishing yourself.

Baek Se-hee, I Want to Die But I Want to Eat Tteokpokki

[k-star-holic]

The Horribly Slow Murderer with the Extremely and the controversy over his acting skills... a sad 'slut'

[rosyfingered-moon]

When the Phone Rings ep. 5-6

Lmaooo. I love that he completely malfunctioned over the heart eyes.

Ohhhh okay, so doryeonnim is a sociopath. In that case this is obviously the kidnapper, who might therefore be Se-eon's older brother (?). At family dinner, Se-eon told Hee-joo something along the lines of: "They're the kind of people who can just swap out their children, so don't mind what they say," which obviously refers to whatever went down here. So Evil Mom 2 chose to discard her eldest cat-killer son, the "rusty spoon" who was hidden away in the basement because of his antisocial tendencies. They elevated Se-eon to heir apparent, maybe even switched their identities, like with Hee-joo and In-ah. So Cat Killer poured all of his grudge into the perfect little brother who took his place instead of the people who are really to blame (their godawful parents and harabeoji). Okay this is my working theory right now lol.

(A bit disappointed because I had hoped there would be a political motive to the kidnapper's, or at least their employer's, hatred of Spokesperson Baek, given the hostage controversy this all started with. Oh well. Generational trauma strikes again!)

Grandpacore is perfect for him. He should wear this with those dorky little reading glasses. It suits his persnickety personality.

Real Hee-joo as blackmailer: Fumbling, crying, zero plans, constantly on the verge of a nervous breakdown

Sa-eon's fantasy of Hee-joo as blackmailer: The sultry seductress who has outwitted him once again!!

Lovely shot of the sisters, whose dynamic is so fucking weird. Hee-joo was basically her hearing impaired sister's 24/7 interpreter? Because In-ah refused... to... learn sign language? How did she get through school?

Maybe this is an overdone trope, but I don't care. I just like seeing them a little bit silly for once.

I knewwww it 🙏

Maybe their next retreat should be a workplace harassment seminar. Just a thought

[dllamarama]

YAASSSS YAASSS YAAAASSSSSSS

yep i had to scream for that whole episode. questionable choice of plot to keep the story moving and to make hee joo fell from the cliff. i mean of course it is cute to see baek sa eon being obvious with wanting to be with hee joo.... but dude you're married and your team didn't know that she is actually your wife. i would definitely turn head with your affection for hee joo if i didn't know she's your wife.

i really like how baek sa eon who was unable to tell his feelings to hee joo got a medium through 406 to convey his sincerity. he can never do that without 406 and him knowing that hee joo is on the other side is comforting to him in a way that he is indirectly confessing to her. he was so guarded with his heart. he never make an effort because he was always ready to let her go. because he thought that this marriage was not something that hee joo wants. but since it isn't that way anymore, he is now able to do just what his heart wants. he likes her...

omaigad the amount of OG kdrama plot in this drama is just *chef's kiss* just how it was when i first watch kdrama 20 years ago. just that in WTPR they toned down the ML that makes it less controversial that how it was before. you haven't seen OG kdrama if you say that baek sa eon is a walking red flag cuz I've seen worse. so personally i thought that it is nice to see this kind of drama make a come back again. not to mention that the married couple plot is back again. Full House, Princess Hours, Wedding, Something About 1% was some of my favourite OG kdrama and i always love seing how the misunderstanding in those dramas were what keeping me at the edge of the seat. the angst, the pain, the plain stupidity, the pride and ego, the realising they love their partner so much that they don't know how to rectify their mistake. i miss those... of couse slice of life and romcom kdrama are great too, but i wanted heated arguments, heartache and angsttt more angstttt just to feel like slapping the main leads because they are too stoopid.

and finallyyyy at the end of the year we got the comeback. we almost had it with Queen of Tears but park ji eun was too obsessed of making a dramatic useless multiple much un-needed plot twist until it turns into rubbish. the only good thing that drama give me was Kim Soohyun and Kim Jiwon chemistry yes I'm shipping them forever other than that it was a disappointment.

i hope that WTPR won't dissapoint me as well. i was hoping the 12 eps will do the drama justice if the kdrama writer have lost the ability to create a decent drama with 16 eps. if you can't sustain the plot just shorten and make it concise and actually i like 12 eps kdrama

[softplots]

MASTERLIST — female korean names !!

hi sweeties !! there are #50 (FIFTY) female korean names under the cut, they were all taken from kdramas. hope you guys like it !! please like/reblog if you found this useful !!

Park Se-Hee

In Byuel

Go Yu-Na

Kim San-Ha

Na Joo-Hee

Han Song-Yi

Lee Mi-Yeon

Jung Jung-Won

Shin Ki-Won

Kwon Na-Ra

Ah Mi

Yoon Hee

Young-geun

Yoo-joo

Heo Soon-sim

Choi Sun-ah

Shin Ki-yoon

Mi-so

Baek Na-hee

Ma Ho-Young

Lee So-Yeon

So-Jin

Lee Hyun-ji

Ah-reum

Yoon So-rim

Eun Tae-hee

Seong Mi-do

Ahn Ja-yeong

Hong Chae-ri

Eun-seo

Oh Ha-rin

Baek Je-na

Kim Ga-yeon

Seon-hwa

Son Ae

Eun Ok

Eun-mi

Kang Hye-young

Lee Yoo-ri

Choi Dong-joo

Jung-soo

Kim Yeong-chae

Jo Hae-In

Bae Doo-rae

Jo Ki-bum

Joo Wol

Yoo Young-joo

Joo Wol

Lee Yoo-jeong

Mo Jae-in