#Bad thing is: MY HEART BREAKING SEEING IT FINALLY UPDATED AND NOT BEING ABLE TO EVEN ACCESS IT

[qkmlh]

Not Ao3 going down when a fic I’m obsessed with finally updated

[nocturne-overtures]

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥Summary:

Jisung and you are moving in together and he stumbles across your chest of toys. Now seems like a good time to use them, no?

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥Pairing: Fem! Reader x Han Jisung (SKZ)

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥WC: 4.3k

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥Genres/Aus: Humor, Romance, Established Relationship, Smut

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥Sws: Sex Toys, Lingerie, Cunnilingus, Sexual Instruction, Waxplay, Safeword Established, Blindfolds, Blowjob,

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥Rating: Explicit (18+)/Minors DNI

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥A/N: Another one down~ Thank you for the commission as always @jacksons-goddess-gaia, I hope you enjoy ;)

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ AO3| Taglist Form (Please make sure your urls are updated and able to actually be tagged) | Commission Sheet𓆩⟡𓆪

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥Network Ping: @kwritersworld | @k-vanity | @cultofdionysusnet

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Wanna support me? Reblogs are highly encouraged! I also have a Kofi

𓆩⟡𓆪©nocturne-overtures. do not repost, translate, or use my works𓆩⟡𓆪

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ MDNI and Divder credit to @benkeibear thank you!

“Can you help me with this box?”

Jisung poked his head out from the kitchen, quickly making his way over to you and smiling, bending to take the other end of the box in your hands. Slowly, you move to set it into your new bedroom, smiling from ear to ear as you put your hands on your hips. 

It was a lot of work, but finally, you’d gotten to the end of bringing in all the boxes from the moving truck. After months of planning and over two years of dating, you and Jisung decided to move in together. 

It certainly wasn’t easy, but you were ecstatic to be here, though you dodged under your partner’s arms when he tried to hug you, lips puckered for a kiss. 

Jisung lets out a scandalized gasp and you send him a playful look, shaking your head. 

“Oh no, I don’t think so. I’m gross and sweaty, Ji. Wait until I shower and I promise we can kiss and cuddle as much as your heart can take.” You move past him, shedding clothing along the way. There’s an unintelligible sound behind you, and you catch Jisung covering his eyes behind you. 

“You’ve seen me naked before.” 

“So? I’m still a gentleman.”

A laugh bubbled from your throat as you disappeared into the bathroom. Jisung always got shy when he saw you in states of undress. It was as cute as it was funny, even after all this time. 

Idly, you consider inviting him into the shower just to watch his face go red, but you decide to leave him be for the time being. 

“Is it really bad if I want you to see, though?” You muse as you pass, laughing at the keyboard smash that left his lips.

Outside, Jisung looked at the boxes and decided he couldn’t sit still, opening some of the ones closest to him. He noticed some of your summer clothes in the first one, moving to put them in the dresser. A smile came to his face as he took his time folding, the mere sight of some of them reminding him of previous dates the two of you had gone on. 

When that was done, he moved on to the next box, setting various skin care products and perfume bottles on top of the dresser so you can put them away later however you see fit. 

Jisung smiled, hearing you sing in the shower a room over. He found himself mouthing the words, singing under his breath in unison with you as he stopped at a hand-crafted medium-sized rounded chest. He blinked in surprise and began to lift it out of the box it had been situated in, cushioned with crumpled newspaper to keep it from getting jostled around in transport. 

It was heavier than he expected, and it slipped out of his hands, tumbling back into the box after he flailed and screamed in a panic, not wanting to drop it to the floor and break it. The lid to it opened in the scramble, and the first thing Jisung noticed were teeth .

No, not literal ones. The inside of the chest had protrusions that resembled teeth and it took Jisung a few blinks of disbelief to realize the chest was supposed to be a mimic. 

Of course, she keeps her things in a mimic chest. Nerd-

The humor in his mind immediately melted away into startled shock when he realized what had fallen out of the chest. 

Scattered all over his feet were various sex toys and accessories that went alongside them. 

Dildos of various sizes and colors, vibrators, a cock ring with a tag that read ‘puppy’ on it.

A harness for a strap-on, flavored lube, and throat relaxant spray. 

Blindfold, a gag shaped like a bone, skin-safe candles,  an anal plug.

Jisung stared, kneeling to pick up the fallen toys, his eyes the size of saucers as he looked at each one. 

Some of them were, uh, quite intimidating, if he was being honest. Between the length of some and the girth of others, Jisung couldn’t help but to have his mind wander, thinking about you using the very toys in his hands on yourself. 

“Ji, if you want to take a shower I put your things-”

You stop short in the doorway, holding the towel around yourself as Jisung stared at you like a deer in headlights, holding a bottle of lube in one hand and a thrusting vibrator in the other. 

A beat of silence passed between the two of you before you burst into laughter, nearly dropping the towel as Jisung apologized to you in a rushed panic. 

“ImSOsorry,Ididn’tmeanto-”

“You’re good! It's alright. I just gotta wash them again.” You have a noticeable blush on your face as well, but you take the moment in stride, gathering your things and putting them back in the chest one by one, your hands brushing against Jisung’s every now and again as he tried to help.

When you’re finished, you give him a kiss, pressing your lips to his cheek and standing back up after closing the lid to your toy chest. 

You can feel his eyes on you as you walk out of the room, humming a tune to a pop song as you take the time to meticulously clean the toys one by one. 

Jisung joined you part of the way, peeking very clearly as he got into the shower himself. You can tell he wants to ask you more, but the noticeable way he adverted his gaze when you looked up and locked eyes with him made you snort ever so slightly. 

You let a few minutes go by before you tilt your head toward the shower to ask;

“Do you want to use them with me?”

There’s a bump somewhere in the shower, and a collection of fumbled noises falling from Jisung’s mouth follow suit before his head comes flying out of the curtain, eyes wide. 

“ What?”

You smile at him, making a point to comb your gaze up and down his face, shoulders, and chest before biting your thumbnail lightly. 

“I said,” You sit up straighter;

“Do you want to use the sex toys together with me?”

Jisung stared at you, jaw slack. You can tell the cogs are turning rapidly in his head as you watch even the tip of his ears tinge pink. He cleared his throat, nodding once. 

“Yeah, I mean…Yeah, if you want.”

You smile and stand up, making your way over to the curtain, cupping his cheek, and stealing a kiss. 

“Enjoy your shower~ I’ll be waiting for you.” You send him a wink and run your eyes down the expanse of his body before walking away. It took everything in you not to break face or laugh as a series of jumbled (and panicked) sounds leave his lips as the door closes behind you. 

By the time Jisung is peeking into the room, you have the lights dimmed and you’re adjusting the strap to one of your favorite lingeries, the deep red contrasting against your skin. Jisung stood in the doorframe, staring, eyes combing up and down your body before you see him visibly bite his lip. 

Want, need, excitement.

You smile and turn to face him, walking over to him in a few strides. Jisung noticed you’re taller than you usually are, and you’re eye level with him this time. His eyes shoot down, landing on the pretty heels you’d put on. 

“Fuck,” He breathed out, inhaling sharply when you reach and place your hand on his chest. His skin was dry, but still soft and heated from the shower. Jisung looked at you with doe-like excited eyes, biting his lip as you pushed him gently, lightly pinning him against the door and pressing into him. 

“Tonight, we’ll use some of them together, okay? Do you mind if I lead?” You give him the time to answer, idly raking your fingers down his chest. You can feel the thrum of his heartbeat through the pads of your fingers and he nods quickly.

“I didn’t hear you, I’m sorry~” You faux pout, your fingers stopping at the towel tied around his hips. Jisung let out a shaky laugh, staring at your hand before he bit his lip. 

“I don’t mind. Tell me how I can make you feel good with them.” 

You smile and hook your finger into the towel, tugging once and holding his gaze as it falls to the floor, leaving him completely bare to you. 

Jisung’s cheeks grow darker, but he doesn’t break your gaze, something that brings a smile to your face as you press your lips to his neck, kissing along his Adam’s apple while you slowly cup and palm his cock.

He exhales shakily, once again stuttering as he opened his mouth to speak;

“C-Can I touch you? Or do I like, need permission?” He’s red all the way to his ears and you laugh softly at his earnest questions. 

“Of course you can touch me. We can save the more….’strict’ play for another day. I’m just going to…guide you? Yeah.” You nod, and both of you share a soft laugh before you lean in to kiss him.

His hands are on you in an instant, cupping and squeezing your ass while your fingers curl around his shaft, stroking at your own set pace as you deepen the kiss the moment he groaned for you. 

“I didn’t expect you to get so excited just finding my toys.” You tease, giggling against his lips as he kneaded your cheeks. You can feel him throbbing in your hand and it nearly took him a full minute before he responded. 

“Mm…of course I got excited. Thinking of all those late nights you must have been using them, making a mess, thinking of me. We live together now, Y/N. I get to be part of that.” He ducked his head down, kissing at your shoulder. You can feel him inhale softly, and you almost laugh again from the ticklish feeling before you perk at the audible growl that slips past his lips. 

“ Fuck , and you wore the perfume I love. You’re trying to ruin me tonight, aren’t you?” He sighed, slowly rolling his hips and thrusting into your hand. You smile and close your fingers around him, stroking slowly as you tilt your head up to give him more space to explore and bite down. 

Jisung’s lips are soft against your skin. You hear every groan and gasp resonate in your head before you tangle your hand in his hair, tugging just light enough for him to moan and pull off of you lightly. He glanced at you, eyes hooded as the two of you held each other’s gaze. 

“We can spend all day kissing against the door or we can move on to the next part.”

Jisung visibly perked for you, smiling and letting you guide him back to the bed. You sit down at the edge, reaching behind you and handing him one of the oversized plushies you had collected over the years. He seemed amused, setting it on the floor and kneeling on it. 

“I want you to eat me to start with, okay?” You pull the thin lace of your lingerie aside, revealing yourself to him. Your heart fluttered in excitement at the way his eyes locked on your pussy for a moment.

Jisung kissed your inner thigh in response and spread your folds with two fingers, holding your gaze as dragged his tongue between your folds, curling his tongue over your clit in a figure eight before delving in. 

You keep your hand on his head, petting silken brunette strands gently as you keen and moan for him, subtly scooting closer to the edge of the bed. 

You could give him instructions later, Jisung had spent plenty of time between your legs like this, and it still pleased you at just how excited he got when he got to eat you out. 

He’d come untouched one time because of it, moaning your name and thrusting up into nothing as his face glistened from your release. 

The visual from your memory made you clench ever so slightly and Jisung growled, hands landing on your thighs to gently push them apart, his tongue slowly curling up between your petals before kissing at your clit. 

You share a deep, heated gaze with him, using your nails to scratch lightly at his scalp, humming softly as you roll your hips slightly. 

“You always do so well for me, Jisung.” You lower your voice, smiling at the way his eyes focused sharply on you. He groaned against your core, pulling you closer by your ass with one of his hands. 

You laugh softly, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth and tilting your head to the side. 

“How did I get so lucky, mm? You’re such a good boy for me.” You praise him softly, the glow from the candles dancing over your skin as the flames flickered now and again. 

Jisung groaned, pressing closer to your cunt, his nose flush against your core, staring lovingly up at you. Your smile grows wider and you brush your fingers over his ears, reveling in the sensitive shudder that the move makes rock through his body. 

“Ji, you have to come up for air, my love. Mm, we can’t have me getting too stimulated before the real fun starts.” You try to warn him, though your body betrays you, if the way you roll your hips down for more was anything to go by. 

Jisung considered persisting, you can see it in the way his eyes narrowed in challenge before he eventually let up, licking his lips slowly and leaning in as you reach down to pet and caress his rounded cheeks.

“You’re trembling.” He muttered, blowing lightly on your pussy and smiling as you jolt in surprise. You shoot him a look before clearing your throat, beckoning for him to come up to your level. 

Jisung took his time, making sure his blood began flowing well back into his legs before he let you pull him into a kiss, whimpering softly as you reach between his legs to stroke and grope at his cock. 

“All this for me?” You muse teasingly, laughing at the way he nipped your bottom lip. 

“Are you gonna keep teasing me, or are you gonna instruct me?” He huffed. You pull away slightly, an amused smile crossing your face as you lock eyes with him. 

He’s pouting. 

“Very well. Get the blindfold and those candles off of the nightstand.”

Jisung paused, brow furrowing as he glanced behind him. Sure enough, there was a silk blindfold sitting on the nightstand, and beside it were wax candle sticks that were a beautiful shade of red. 

“Isn’t that going to hurt?”

“No, cutie. Those are meant for this type of play.”

Jisung blinked for a moment before he moved to collect the items, as well as the long lighter that was just off to the side of them. 

“If its too much, I’ll use a safeword.”

“We don’t have one. We should probably have one. What’s a good one to have?”

You reach and stroke his arm, endeared by the way he began to fret about possibly harming you. 

“How about…’chipmunk?’” 

You both share a look before bursting out into laughter. 

“It’s ridiculous, sounds like a plan.” 

You raise up so Jisung can put the blindfold on you. His fingers were warm as they lightly brushed against your ears and you nearly laugh at the ticklish sensation before you feel those same fingers move down to your chin, tilting your head up. 

“Anything off limits?”

“No hair, no holes.”

Another beat of silence passes between you before another small fit of laughter. Slowly, you lie back on the pillow and bite your lip in anticipation as you hear the lighter. 

“You look beautiful like this.” Jisung’s voice is soft and tender. You smile, your lip still trapped between your teeth before a gasp slipped past them as Jisung grabbed the lace bra portion of your lingerie, tugging down and exposing your chest to the night air. 

Before any instruction left your lips, you let out a pleasured yelp as the first couple of drops of the candle’s wax landed on your breast. 

“Oh! Oh-mm-” Once the shock settled, you reach above you, grabbing the bars of the headboard to keep your hands occupied as you wait in anticipation for the next set of warm drops along your skin. 

“You can, mm…use the vibrator near the pillow on me if you feel like you can use both hands. It’s a- ah shit- a thruster.” You squirm and moan as warm drops roll down your chest, your shoulder, your thigh, and your stomach. Jisung doesn’t respond verbally, and for a moment you consider repeating yourself before his hand came around to pull your thigh further apart. 

You oblige him, spreading them apart, trembling as you try to listen for him as he stands. 

Drip, then drop. 

Your stomach tightened as four drops land on them, racing down the center of your body for a few moments before cooling and stilling. 

Drop~ 

Drip~

One landed between the valley of your breasts, another, on the inside of your thigh. 

“We should do this more often. You’re dripping from how excited you are.” Jisung’s voice is coming from somewhere from your left, and you instinctively turn your head over in that direction. Fingers brush along your right cheek, but you turn in that direction soon after. 

There’s a silence that stretches in the room before a small ‘pop’.

It’s the cap to a bottle of lube, and you give your body a small wiggle, getting settled as you try to strain your ears to hear Jisung well enough. 

The springs in your bed creak as Jisung kneels onto it, leaning over your body and kissing the top of your head. 

“Does it feel good?” He whispered into your ear. You clench on nothing, shaking in anticipation before nodding, nearly breathless from the intimacy. 

“You’re supposed to be instructing me, aren’t you?” Jisung teased, rubbing the toy between your folds as he kissed down from your ear to your jaw and then back up to your lips. 

You open your mouth to continue your instructions, but anything you were going to say goes out the window when you hear an audible click followed by buzzing. 

Your back arched as the toy vibrated right against your clit. 

“Oops.” Jisung chuckled against the skin of your collarbone, rubbing the toy up and down against you while your grip on the headboard tightened. 

“F-Fuck, that’s not fair-”

“I just want to make you feel good, y’know.” Jisung hummed, reaching up and undoing the blindfold with his free hand. You meet his eyes, making sure he knew how good you were feeling by holding his gaze. 

“S-slowly, you can put it in and raise it to the second mmm…the second level.”

Jisung looked down, pushing the vibrator into you and biting his lip at the sound that escaped you when part of the toy settled against your clit, buzzing at a stronger intensity as Jisung wasted no time in following your previous order and pressing the button. 

Jisung leaned into your space, nudging you until you raised your head to kiss him. He started slow, pumping the toy in and out of you at his own rhythm, all while taking his time to kiss you, mapping out every inch of your mouth and swallowing down every breathless moan and gasp you treated him to. 

“L-Like that…mm, this…this one is my favorite, y’know. Its the one I use when you’re out town and I want to- shit, Jisung- nn…when I want to think about you the most.” 

You fight the urge to arch, glancing down at your own body and clenching when you saw all the ribbons of dried wax adorning your skin. Jisung had done a good job of not getting it on the lingerie itself, too.

“Your favorite, hm?” Jisung kissed the top of your head, his own heart fluttering at the visual of you pleasuring yourself with the very same toy in his hand. 

“Th-the second button. The one b-below the one by your thumb. P-press and hold it for a few- fuck!” You arch up against his chest, grabbing his shoulders as the thrusting part of the toy was turned on. 

Jisung looped one of his arms around your waist, smiling with a glint in his eye as he drank in every expression on your face. 

You would realize later that you’d lost part of the night’s play, since all forms of instruction went out of the window. Jisung licked his lips ever so slightly, nodding in approval as your voice raised an octave the closer you got to your release. 

“Jisung!”

“I’m right here, baby. I got you, its okay.” He spoke softly, aching between his legs as he watched you squirm beneath him, clenching for dear life on the toy.

His grip on you tightened as you finally unravel in his arms, your nails digging bluntly into his arms as the toy continued to buzz and thrust inside of you. 

Your mouth falls open. One, two, three seconds go by before a loud cry of pleasure fell from them. Jisung chuckled, noticing you’d clenched so tight that the thrusting of the poor toy came to a stop. 

“God, Y/n, did it feel that good?” He teased you, at least being merciful enough to turn the toy off before he slowly pulled it out of you, setting it far enough out of the way so it wouldn’t get rolled over on by accident. 

You pant, looking up at him in a blissed daze before cracking a smile and pulling him down into a kiss. Jisung went without resistance, groaning softly before a muffled noise left his lips as you threw your weight, rolling so he was under you. 

He looked up at you, his hands instinctively finding their way to your hips as you climbed on top of him, pressing your heads together. 

“Did I do a good job?” Jisung inquired, his lips quirking as a light blush dusted over his cheeks. You smile and steal a kiss before trailing your hand down his chest.

“Of course you did. Give me a second to get my bearings back and I’ll use one on you while I ride you.” You promise, scooting down his body. Jisung perked in surprise, eyes widening.

“Wait, what?”

You look up at him after settling yourself between his legs, mirroring him from earlier. You take hold of his cock, stroking with slow, languid strokes as your lips curl up, already formulating a 3 step plan to make him come undone involving no less than two more vibrators and possibly bringing the blindfold back. 

Instead of divulging in your plan, you simply lean over the bed and into the chest you’d left open on the nightstand, grabbing two bullet vibes and two silicone finger slips. 

Jisung watched you curiously, tilting his head to the side as he watched you push the vibes into the ribbed silicone finger slips and coat them in a light layer of lube.

“What is that for?” He inquired, thighs flexing as you crawl back between them. You smile, grabbing his shaft and grinning as he jolted, feeling the vibrations right underneath the crown of his cock. 

You take your time, stroking up an down a you hold his gaze. He quickly found out, jerking his hips and groaning at the foreign-but welcomed-sensation. 

“Y-Y/n-”

You fondle his balls, spurrened on by both the whimpers and growls falling from Jisung’s lips. 

“Does it feel good, Ji?” You inquire, smiling from ear to ear as his thighs shook. He opened his mouth to respond but it fell short when you place both of the fingers with the vibrators right over his slit. 

“FUCK!”

You stroke and caress him, watching his expression carefully with a twinkle in your eye as you tease him relentlessly with the pleasurable buzzing, tracing them all over his cock and balls. 

Jisung’s fists curl into the sheets, his eyes closing as he groaned, creeping closer and closer to the edge. 

“I-I’m gonna cum if you keep up.”

“Go ahead, we’re not done tonight.” You purr, grabbing the base of his cock and stroking quickly while you lower your mouth, kissing and licking the head while keeping your eyes on your boyfriend’s face. 

Jisung had been patient all night, but the moment he forced his eyes open and looked down, his body locked up as his eyes landed on yours. 

You hold still as he came into your mouth, a whimper and a groan falling from his lips. You keep still, making sure each wave rolled through him before you pull away, licking your lips and taking the finger vibes off. 

Jisung ran a hand through his hair, dazed and disoriented while you laugh, straddling him. 

“You okay?”

He rose a finger, still panting. 

“Gimme a sec, you vixen. I can’t recover that damn fast. I’ve never used the cumminator 3000 and it's buddies on myself like you.”

You snort slightly, leaning down to lay on him, kissing at his face until he placed a weak and tired kiss to his lips. Maybe you would cut him a break and let him gather his bearings before lovingly bullying him by riding him. 

You place a kiss to his adam’s apple.

“Fineee, I’ll get you some water in a sec. Next time, there will be more surprises in store.”

Jisung rose his head, looking at your back as you roll out of bed. 

“What do you mean more? Y/n?? Hey!”

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Taglist

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[ieatedyourcrayons]

ask for toby requests and yee shall receive

uhhh

Reader picks up a hitchhiker who happens to be Toby?

sure thing! (part 2 in progress)

Wrong hitchhiker

Ticci toby x Gn!reader

small tw for violence

As you drive down the empty road that was surrounded by nothing but trees and dirt, the sound of light rain hitting your car is the only thing keeping you awake, as you lost service a few miles ago and can’t play anything on the radio or bluetooth. Which worries you because you can’t get any updates on the killer the police are looking for.

The trees stretch high and wide, seeming to never end. Everything looks the same, except there being a few tire parts or animals on the side of the road.

You were somewhat nervous of the surroundings and situation you were in. The dark and lonely woods, the lack of service and people, and the sun approaching the horizon, About to set at any moment.

You yawn weakly as the pitter patter of rain and the sound of the tires hitting the road begins to bore you. Your grip on the steering wheel is loose and relaxed as your back is pressed against the smooth leather of the seat.

As your eyes bore on the road ahead of you, a figure stand on the side of the road in the distance. You can barely make out a face, all you see is the figure put out a hand, signaling they needed a ride.

You felt bad thinking about driving past them, it’s raining and there’s no one else out here. You sigh and slow your car down as you approach the figure. Now being able to see it’s a male with messy brown hair. He stands at an average height and has a mask covering the lower half of his face. His hoodie and jeans hang comfortably on his body.

“Hello, you need a ride?” you ask after you roll the passenger side window down.

Something about him gives off a bad vibe, like you shouldn’t be talking to him, let alone letting him in your car.

“t-that would-d be great, i-i- just need to ge-et out the woods” he says between tics.

You nod as you unlock the car, signaling to him that he can enter. He gets in the car and shuts the door before clicking his seat belt.

You begin driving again before informing him on the radio situation. “There’s no service. So we’re stuck in silence” you say with a light laugh.

The man chuckles back, “great, sounds fun” he says sarcastically, “My name is Toby by the way” He adds.

“Hello Toby, I’m Y/n.” You replied with a kind tone.

“Well, now we’re not strangers anymore” he says jokingly and with this odd tone as he stares out the front window. The tone he uses rings bells in your head. First you get a bad feeling and now this?

Toby turned his head to stare out his window, you take a few glances at him and suddenly it clicks. The radio broadcast of the police describing the potential suspect in the recent murders replays in your brain. ‘i picked up the killer..’ you think to yourself.

Your face goes pale and chills run down your spine. Your heart feels like it stops and it feels like anxiety has replaced the blood in your veins.

“W-hat-s-s the matter?” Toby ask you cautiously after he noticed your demeanor change.

Your eyes are glossed over with tears and your grip on the steering wheel is so tight that your knuckles are pale.

Toby smirks as he’s ponders if you’ve finally realized who you’ve just picked up. He lets out a soft chuckle.

His chuckle breaks you out of your trance and you bring your car to a stop on the road, you say nothing as your turn to look at him.

“It’s.. you, you’re the one..” you say, stopping yourself from finishing the sentence.

“..who killed those people?” He says, finishing your sentence without a single tic or stutter, with a stupid grin plastered on his face under the mask.

You gulp, not caring that you’re showing how scared you are, “Yeah.” you nod, confirming his question.

“I would say you are a smart one for figuring that out, but you let me in your car.. without any questions” Toby chuckles, almost manically. “Not that much of a smart one are you doll?” He ask, he’s taunting you now, knowing he has power over you.

“yeah.. you’re right. Now get. out.” You reply sternly. ignoring his taunts.

Tobys manic and laughter filled mood drops at your words. Something in him snaps. What’s stopping me from killing this one too? he thinks to himself.

He turns to face you, wide eyed as he grabs you by a chunk of your hair, and slams your head against the glass, knocking you unconscious. You had zero time to react before you fell into a painful slumber.

Toby gets out the car and walks over to the drivers side and effortlessly gets your body out the car and throws you in the back seat, your body falling onto the floor.

Toby positions himself in the drivers seat and begins driving again, heading for town, Toby thought you were dead so he planned on abandoning the car with you in it, the police or some unsuspecting person will find your body back there.

Little did he know. Why didn’t he check if you were dead? (possible part two)

[firefirefruit]

Steel in Her Veins, Chapter: Thirty-Eight

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Characters: Fem!Reader x Roronoa Zoro

Notes: I just graduated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOORAAAAYYY! I'm finally FREE NOW TO WRITE AS MUCH GOBBLEDUPFANFICSASIWANT AND IM SO HAPPY! SIHV is no longer under hiatus ;ppppp (not proofread properly as i was so excited to update everyone on this story hahahahdsjs)

Chapter Thirty-Eight: A Doctor’s Steady Hands

“Is it this one?”

I unhook my head from beneath a curved plane of metal, wiping the machine oil from my face with my sleeve. I examine the mishap of tools in Bepo’s paws, scrambling to keep them all hooked between his claws.

“Uh, yeah, that one,” I say, nodding at the screwdriver with the yellow handle. Bepo carefully flexes his cushioned paw to pluck one out from the other, then proceeds to stuff the rest of the tools – and the equipment box, mind you, in the front pocket of his overalls. 

Swiftly, I disappear under the side of what used to be Law’s beloved ship and begin to assess the damage. A soft curse comes out of my mouth, incredulously asking myself how Luffy could have damaged this beautiful piece so badly.

Sighing, I begin dismantling damaged parts with a hard-set scowl indented on my face – a scowl I haven’t been able to get of rid for about a week now. Gramps always used to tease me for being so transparent with my feelings, how I’d always wear my heart on my sleeve – and even thinking back on that memory doesn’t help with sobering up my mood, either.

I sneak a look at Bepo who’s looking incredibly out of place at the makeshift workshop we’ve made for ourselves. He looks down, staring down at his paws with a frown set on his face – almost as if he wants to ask me something but doesn’t know when the right time would be. Guilt pangs in my chest, knowing that Bepo doesn’t know what to do with how I am right now. It’s a pretty big personality shock to him, seeing how much I’ve changed compared from when I was a happy-go-lucky kid; a young tweenager with hope in her eyes, now turned young adult with angry fine lines peppered into her skin. It must have broken whatever pretence he had of me in his head. 

Regardless, he still showed up today. Hell, he even offered to be my little work assistant, completely aware of my recent bad temper - still willing to be there for me. It doesn’t help matters that I’m unhelpfully being gossiped about by Usopp to physically anyone he could talk to.

‘I don’t know, I’m kinda worried, ya know?’ Usopp mutters not-too-secretively in the bullseye centre of our temporary camp. ‘Ever since Zoro stormed out of that weird lake magic, they’ve both been acting off…’

‘And not to mention, ever since she turned into that scary Luffy form, she’s been so different,’ Usopp urges. ‘I don’t know if we can trust her from exploding into that-that… THING again. WAAA, I’M SCARED!’

Nami slaps him on the back of his neck, the sound ricocheting against the jagged stalactite ceiling as she eyes him down, anger in her eyes. ‘Oh, shut up, will you? Raya’s still Raya, and she’s one of us. Get that into that thick skull of yours.’

“Yo, Raya!” Franky’s voice echoes from a few miles ahead of me. His large body is somehow perfectly cramped beneath the belly of the Polar Tang, his fists slamming into the metal simultaneously as his head twists 180 degrees towards me. “We’re finally working together, huh? I can’t lie to you; it’s making me feel hella excited!”

I don’t know how he managed to do it, but a surprised laugh breaks out from my mouth; I didn’t know I meant so much to him, it almost makes me feel bad for not working with him sooner.

“Me too,” I say whilst my hands get busy removing each screw from the disfigured plane of metal. “I’m sorry we haven’t done this sooner, Frank.”

He rolls his eyes at me and bats a mechanical hand with a grease cloth clamped over it. “Are ya kidding me? You’ve been through hell and back, Raya. Take it easy. I’ve got an insane number of blueprints to work with you soon.”

I shake my head, turning back onto my partition of the work. He’s too forgiving, sometimes. Too carefree… I wish I was like that.

“Did I just imagine things?” A cool voice reverberates behind Bepo and I. “Did Raya’s face finally do something other than scowl?”

I twist my head so fast I hit my head against the ship, scowling at the figure who made me jump about eighty feet out of my own skin. Law looks down at me with a sly smile twitching at the ends of his mouth, his tattooed arms folded together against his chest.

“No, there it is again,” he continues. “That scowl. I must’ve imagined things.”

“C’mon Law, don’t tease her.” Bepo sighs.

Law turns to stare at his first mate, his mouth slightly ajar. He quickly closes it again, noticing I’ve been smirking at him like a kid who just got some well-deserved payback. “Well, you’ve never ordered me around before.”

I furiously rub at the sore spot on my head, still giving him a shit-eating grin, before my eyes lower to his clothes. Blue work overalls overlay a white shirt on his torso, a huge pocket resting at his belly. I raise a brow, not expecting anyone besides Franky and Bepo to be working with me today.

“Did I mess the memo? I didn’t know we were roleplaying as mechanics today.” My lips twitch into a faint smirk, making Law dismissively scowl at me.

“Well, I prefer to be around my possessions from now on. Since, you know, the last time I trusted you with one, you’d engaged with some more… interesting excursions,” he snaps.

That made me shut right up. I turn around and get busy, ignoring the heat growing on my face.

Bepo eyes the both of us with suspicion. “What? What was that supposed to mean? Law?”

Before Law can wave him off, another voice enters the workshop cavern with a tinge of irritation laced in his words.

“Oi, Trafalgar. Where you want me to put these?”

My heart instantly stops from hearing that cursed voice. I can just tell by his footsteps that they’re his. Fuck.

I don’t look around, pretend to be all cool and nonchalant while I’m actually screaming inside, but no one can excuse the fumbling my fingers are doing, my hand unable to unscrew a section I easily did a few moments ago.

Law faintly turns his head and side-eyes the samurai with a raised brow. “Why are you shouting, Roronoa? We can hear you just fine.”

I breathe in shallowly, feeling a minute sense of fear from his presence. My eyes train on the plane of metal above me, not daring to look in his direction.

‘You don’t scare me, Kozuki.’

You don’t scare me, Kozuki. It rings in my head constantly, even when my eyes grow heavy, my mind startled awake, in one of the dragon’s sleeping holes.

You don’t scare me, Kozuki. But you should be scared of me. I grit my teeth, jaw clenching then unclenching. That’s what he meant, right? He’s threatening me.

“You roped me into bein’ your work slave, this is what you’ll get,’ Zoro retorts, his eye piercing Law’s. Law only smirks in response and rests his frame against his tattered ship.

“No brain, only brawn. I’m not surprised,” Law smoothly bites back. I choke out a laugh, yet immediately shut up when I see Zoro’s eye drink in my crouched frame.

I quickly get back to work, my fingers deftly peeling off the unscrewed plane of metal. There’s an odd silence between all three of them, and I can just tell that Zoro’s still pinned his lion-like gaze on me.

“Are you just going to stare with your mouth wide open,” Law remarks, his feet suspiciously stationing themselves over my crouched body. “Or are you going pass those boxes to Frank?”

I hear Zoro bristle, seeming to be taken off guard. "You’re making things up," he grumbles, though the fluster in his voice betrays him. He finally shifts his gaze from me and turns his attention to the boxes at his feet, nudging one of them with his boot.

"Could've fooled me," Law replies, the smirk never leaving his face. There's a flicker of amusement in his eyes as he watches Zoro struggle to find a retort.

Zoro’s jaw tightens, and for a moment, it looks like he's about to snap back with something sharp. But instead, he just exhales heavily through his nose and lifts one of the boxes as if it's nothing. "Whatever. You could’ve picked someone else for this," he mutters, more to himself than anyone else.

As he starts walking towards Franky, I can't help but glance at him from the corner of my eye. There’s something different in the way he carries himself today, an edge to his movements that makes my heart pound just a bit faster. It’s not fear—not exactly. It's something else, something furiously too intimate to be just anger.

"Don't drop those, Roronoa. We don’t have spares," Law continues to mock, earning another jaw-tick from Zoro.

As his shadow becomes more and more smaller, I finally let out the strained breath I’ve been holding, my hands a little steadier now. But, still, the weight of his presence lingers, those same tan muscles my hands stroked over being a mere few steps away makes it harder to concentrate.

"Well, this is cozy," Law says, his voice low as he crouches down closely, his eyes flickering with mischief. "Maybe we should do this more often."

I shoot him a look, trying to suppress the small smile tugging at my lips. I skid the plane of damaged metal across the rocky floor, thrusting it with enough force to hit it against his thick-soled boot. "Don’t push it, Trafalgar," I mutter, though the corners of my mouth betray my nonchalance.

In all of a sudden, Bepo crouches next to Trafalgar and imploringly looks at me. “Look… Raya. Can we please talk?” He whispers, his eyes nervously shifting towards Franky’s direction to make sure he’s not paying attention. His gaze flickers over to Zoro, who finds purchase on a rocky crevice right in the centre of the workshop, his arms folding to his chest tensely, tanned muscle flexing. I watch him intently, realising that he looks to be asleep - almost as if he’s taken the perfect chance to doze off. A bit too much of a perfect chance, in my opinion.

I sigh, rubbing the raggedy cloth against my oil-stained cheek as I look away. I knew it, of course, that this conversation was inevitable. Bepo, knowing the entire truth – and Law, in direct extension – were both biding their time to gauge me out for more information.

I hand Bepo the screwdriver, silently gesturing for the small wrench that prods out of his belly-pocket. Impatiently, Law quickly picks it out and deposits it in my hand before Bepo even realises what’s happening.

I don’t know what comes over me but when I look, and really look at my childhood friend’s desperate eyes, I soften my tone.

“Of course, we can,” I mumble, my eyes lowering, avoiding his deeply troubled gaze.

“Keep working,” Law mutters lowly. His eyes train on Franky who once in a while looks over to compare his progress with mine. Zoro’s eyes are still closed, his breathing paced, but there’s still something suspicious about the way he’s holding himself too tensely for my liking.

I turn my head to the millions of nuts and bolts I’ll have to begin laboriously undoing, sighing inwardly. I love workmanship, but man, sometimes it can be boring.

“Keep talking, Bepo,” Law continues.

Bepo fiddles with his work shirt, looking down with a frown on his face. There’s a small beat of silence, the only sounds made are from Franky slicing a metal piece with his laser eyes, before Bepo looks back up at me.

“What happened, Raya?” He swallows, searching for the right way to word the questions that hungrily race through his head. He curses a little to himself. “G-god, that’s an open ended question, I know, but… so much has happened, and now you’re part of Luffy’s crew? Why was– well, Gramps targeted? And-and… what the hell did you transform into before?”

I pause, letting Bepo's questions hang in the air. My fingers keep working, twisting the small wrench, though my mind is racing faster than my hands. The questions he’s asked are the ones I’ve been dreading, but also the ones I knew I couldn’t avoid forever. They’re the kind of questions that dig deep, uncovering layers of the past that I’ve buried under years of anger, fear, and guilt.

I can feel Law's gaze on me, and I know he’s just as curious, though he’s better at hiding it. Franky seems to have disappeared in the pursuit of more materials in a different cavern, leaving a different type of silence, one more threatening, in his wake. Even Zoro’s steady breathing, despite his seemingly relaxed state, feels like a pressure pushing me towards answers I’m not sure I’m ready to give.

But Bepo deserves the truth. Maybe they all do.

I clear my throat softly, choosing my words with care. "It’s… a lot. Look, when I was a kid, I had no idea what was really going on; I just knew that every time the Cp-0 came knocking on our door, we had to relocate to a different island and build up our workshop again. Gramps… he knew things, had secrets that I didn’t understand back then that I think I’m slowly uncovering. He tried to protect me, but in the end… He got taken."

I can feel the weight of their attention, even though no one’s directly looking at me. Law’s quiet demeanour, Zoro’s stillness, Bepo’s concerned eyes—they’re all listening, even if they’re trying to be subtle about it.

“That’s the same thing that happened to-”

“Penguin, I see,” Bepo finishes Law sentence, his mouth pursed into a fuzzy, sombre line.

I nod, playing with my fingers. "As for why I’m with Luffy now… I didn’t plan it. I was trying to stay low, to avoid getting involved in anything that could draw attention to me. But things don’t always go as planned. Luffy… well, you know how he is. He promised me that we’d go finding Gramps if I did join him.”

Bepo looks like he’s putting all the pieces together, his eyes searching the tattered ship for answers. Distantly, his voice comes out, slightly uncertain.

“So, that’s why Law went to ask Luffy for an alliance.”

I nod again, not knowing what else to say.

Bepo nods, slowly, trying to process my words, but I can see he’s still deeply troubled. His gaze flickers to the metal I’m working on, then back to me. “But why the alias? Why are you hiding yourself from them?”

I grit my teeth, my eyes trained to a stray bolt, my sentences coming out in quick-paced bullet points. “I don’t want to be known by that name anymore. I hate it. What they don’t know won’t hurt them.”

Law quirks up a brow. “Quite the opposite, Raya. You know that could put them in danger, right? If they’re not prepared with what’s coming after you, it could be incredibly detrimental.”

I pause. He’s right, of course. I’ve been so focused on hiding, on keeping my past buried, that I hadn’t fully considered the consequences of keeping the truth from them.

I push that thought away and my resolve tightens. “You saw what I transformed into. I’ll keep the people coming after me at bay, without the crew even realising what went awry.”

“If you were part of my crew, I’d instantly throw you out,” Law coolly says, his torso shifting against the Polar Tang.

I let out a dry laugh. “Even if you tried to recruit me, I wouldn’t join you. Stay humble, doc.”

Law's expression remains neutral, but there's a glint in his eyes that shows he’s not entirely unaffected by my retort. He crosses his arms and leans back against the ship, seemingly unbothered, but I know him well enough to catch the subtle tension in his posture.

“You’re being obtuse, Raya. Not to mention incredibly selfish,” he bluntly states, not even trying to sugar-coat his words. “And if what Bepo’s told me about you is true, then that’s uncharacteristic of you. This'll affect everyone around you, exactly the way your Gramps had been. Taken, by a lifeless vessel, with two bulbous eyes.”

He leans in closer, his eyes now glinting more angrily, his voice lowering to a whisper. “At least your Gramps knew what he was getting into. He had a choice. And you, Raya, are not giving the same one to your crewmates.”

Fuck. Not once, but twice this asshole's statement rings true to me. If something were to happen, if the past I’ve been running from finally catches up to me, they could be caught off guard, unprepared for the shitstorm that I've happily brought along on board

I take a deep breath and meet Law’s eyes. “I never said I was a good person.”

Law's gaze hardens, Zoro’s body twitches, and for a moment, the air between us feels thick with tension. His eyes bore into mine, searching for something—maybe regret, maybe resolve. He doesn’t find either.

“I did some reading earlier,” Law breathes out coolly. “Of a person named Tyr. Tyr was ordinary. Incredibly so – mainly kept to himself, worked at a local mine, brought back food to his table without amiss. He didn’t have to work so hard, callous his hands day after day to scrounge up such measly coin to survive, but he did. He did it for his wife and two children, because he loved them so deeply, and he couldn’t see them suffer.

But that same Tyr also had no awareness of his lineage. Who he was didn’t concern him. He was a bastard’s child, no last name, his mother withered to dust during his childbirth. Until one day, a group of men dressed in black barged into his house and attempted to drag his wife and children away. You know what happened to that same old Tyr?”

I hold in a breath, not even daring to look at him. Even Zoro’s feigned equal breathing stops for a moment. I don’t respond, don’t even want to know about Tyr’s fate, but Law keeps on going.

“He turned into exactly what you are, Raya,” he says, his words quickening, tumbling out of his mouth with no regret. “And you know what he did?” Law leans in, his breath hitting my cheek coldly. “He was so consumed with his power, so lost in his own bottomless, consumed soul, he killed and tortured not only those men, but his two precious children and the wife that he adored more than anything.”

I can feel the blood draining from my face, the wrench slipping slightly in my grip – but Law keeps on going.

“So the thing about ‘Retribution’ is that you can be good. Dish it out to the deserved, change those who are able to be reformed. You can reign it in Raya,” he breathes out.

His eyes then darken, pinning me under his wrecked ship. “Or you can go off the rails. Go so off the rails, you’ll only be able to see red and red alone, and that power will quite certainly consume you, turn you, into the embodiment of Hell, just like good-natured, ordinary Tyr did. You’ll torture everyone, anyone, in sight, without even being aware of your own actions. Because all you will think about in that head of yours, echoing in every sick crevice, is of revenge, revenge, revenge. Pain, pain and even some more. So, if you don’t think you’re a good person now, what will you be when you transform?”

The silence that follows Law's words feels suffocating, like a heavy weight pressing down on my chest. Tyr. The image of him, once a loving family man, transformed into a monster by the same power that now courses through my veins, is impossible to shake. My hands begin to shake.

I can feel the pain in the air, not just from me but from everyone around. Bepo’s usually soft and comforting presence is tinged with anxiety, his paws fidgeting restlessly as he waits for me to respond.

And Zoro… my heart thumps harder, unable to swallow the lump in my throat as I catch his gaze. He isn’t even trying to feign sleep anymore. He stares at me, only steps away, his fingers itching as if to unsheathe his sword and plunge it into me.

Realisation floods into me, my skin prickling in shock as I turn from Zoro to Law. “You brought him here on purpose, didn’t you?” I whisper.

Law’s expression doesn't change, but the flicker of something in his eyes confirms my suspicion. He knew. He knew that Zoro would be here, that he would want to hear everything. A part of me wants to be furious, to lash out at him for orchestrating this, but another part—a deeper, quieter part—knows that this was inevitable. I just didn't want to face it.

Zoro’s gaze is piercing, unflinching, as he stares at me. The air between us is palpable, like a live wire crackling with trepidation. His hand hovers near his swords, and for a moment, I can’t tell if it's a reflex or a genuine threat. The thought chills me to the core.

You don’t scare me, Kozuki.

I know he’s not one to draw his blade without reason, but the way his eyes bore into mine makes it clear that he’s weighing every word, every movement, every breath.

You don’t scare me, Kozuki, but you sure as hell should be worried about me.

Law finally breaks the silence, his voice as calm and steady as ever, his fingers still remaining comfortable against his lap. As if seeing what was going through my head, he twitches his head behind to Zoro, and mutters out, “He didn’t know I was roping him into this, and neither did Bepo. If you want to lash out, do it to me. Not them.”

I swallow hard, the chill between us almost suffocating. My eyes flick between Bepo, Zoro, and Law, each of them representing different facets of my life—my past, my present, and the uncertain future that looms ahead. Law’s calm, calculating demeanour clashes with Zoro’s barely restrained fury, and Bepo’s concern only amplifies the weight of it all.

Zoro’s gaze pierces through me as those damned words echo through my head again, unyielding. ‘You don’t scare me, Kozuki.’

“What the fuck, Trafalgar,” Zoro suddenly manages to bite out, the veins in his hand flexing in tandem to his rushing thoughts.

“You deserved to know,” Law says, his gaze still stuck on me. “Out of your entire crew, you’re the one who’s least likely to be reckless with danger. And this time, that danger is Raya.”

“I listen to Luffy, and Luffy only.”

“Bullshit. Look at you - your hands are itching for a sword.”

Zoro grits down on his teeth, his gaze on me slightly wavering, almost as if he’s feeling a sense of guilt wash over him. My mouth slightly opens in surprise – maybe a little bit of betrayal surging through me as I understand Law’s statement rings true to him.

I bark out an incredulous laugh, looking at both men. Bepo seems to be in looking between Law and I, torn on whether to stand by his captain or his childhood friend.

“So, what, you’re going to kill me?” I bite out, my hand tightening so hard I feel the wrench tear into my skin. “Throw out the rotten fruit? Go on, I’d like to see you try.”

“No.” Law steps forward until he towers over me, dark eyes flickering down to my face. Zoro almost growls out seeing how close Law is, how our bodies almost touch but both of us are too busy to hear him.

As I release a breath, the wind slowly begins to pick up around me, as if challenging Law to fight. My hair flits upwards into the air with small embers of fire that seep through many miscellaneous strands of brown. My eyes remain on him, sizing him up, wondering how it would feel if I could just plunge this wrench into his chest and taste his blood.

My eyes widen slightly at my intrusive thoughts, shock paralysing me and rooting me to the floor. Never in my life have I…

Law only observes me with a curled down frown, his ink black hair whipping from the rising wind.

“It’s happening, isn’t it?” He murmurs lowly, lips pursed only ever so slightly. “You thought of something unsavoury.”

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I rise my chin up at him.

He kisses his teeth and grabs my wrist, his tattooed fingers curling over my skin tightly, as if knowing I would try to slip out and run away. A blue light seep from beneath his finger pads, my tan skin consuming its colour like an incubus. A sound, almost faint, whirls around me; a feminine voice uttering out words in a language that was definitely not born from the grounds of earth.

“Don’t fuck with me, Raya. Stop it with the dumbass defiant act,” he warns, the light underneath his hand glowing with more colour.

“Then why don’t you be a lovely doctor and move your hands away,” I retort.

Zoro growls at Law with outrage and boulders his way past Bepo - who looks like he’s about to pass out – and grabs him by the same glowing wrist that lays on me.

“Take your fucking hands off her before I cut them off,” he murmurs lowly, his eyes slitted demonically.

Law, outraged, whips his head around at Zoro. “What do you think you-“

But it’s too late. The glow in Law’s hands and fingers grows larger, bigger, taking up all the air in the room until even the fire that lights up the stalactite ceiling disappears.

It feels like the world around us has taken a deep breath and gasped out, snuffing our vision out.

It’s dark, almost like a black void has consumed me. There’s nothing but black, black, and black, assaulting my vision in drowning shades. My head turns this way and that way, my eyes hungrily, desperately, searching for something, and the sounds of someone scrambling on the floor resound in the chillingly silent cavern.

“L-Law! What’s happened?” Bepo desperately calls out, his heavy footsteps aimlessly thundering around me. I let out a strangled gasp, my eyes subconsciously widening almost as if trying to consume something, anything that I can see.

I hear Law from below me, on the floor, his heavy boots struggling to find purchase to stand up. Whatever he was casting threw him to the ground, his groans an outcome of his power.

A hot breath flattens against my skin, prickling my hair on my neck, making me instantly look up and try to figure out the source.

“Calm down,” Zoro mutters to me, his breath tickling the shell of my ear, my face coming into contact with what could be his hard chest. His rough fingers curl over my wrist, held so tightly it feels like he won’t dare to let go.

Unable to think, I comply and breathe in slowly through my mouth. Law sounds to be standing on his feet, slightly stumbling in blindness, before he growls out,

“You fucked up, Zoro.”

I furrow my brows together, my head whipping to Trafalgar’s direction, but before I can respond, Law bites out another remark.

“Look down.”

With nothing else I can do, I lower my head and my eyes come into contact with my wrist. A small, faint flicker of blue light encircles around my skin like a cuff, laying on my skin so tightly it almost becomes even painful to twist it.

It flickers again as it gains more energy, more colour, until the thin ring of light transforms into a shackled cuff. It glows in the darkness, giving light to my surroundings, my breath catching in my throat as I look around. My eyes instantly lock on to Law, who has his jaw clenched tightly. But a slight twinge of sardonic humour glints in his eyes as he turns to Zoro, who’s looking furiously at him, his grip on me unrelenting.

“Law? What-what did you do?” Bepo squeaks out, his eyes bulging out of his skull. “What just happened?!”

“What the fuck is this?” I demand, staring down at my wrist.

Law sighs heavily, ignoring both Bepo and I. He doesn’t look away from Zoro’s intense gaze, almost frowning in betrayal. “Roronoa, do you really think I would’ve killed her?”

I hear Zoro’s teeth grit together almost too painfully before he says, “You were too close to her for my liking.”

Law rolls his eyes, trying to clear the surprised glint in them. “Well,” Law muses, his finger pointing at Zoro’s wrist. “You won’t be having that problem anymore.”

Immediately, we all look down to Zoro’s wrist.

A faint twin blue flickers against his large wrist, gaining more and more light to restrict his skin into a painfully tight circle. He moves his wrist reflexively, hissing out a curse as it also drags my wrist in his direction. I topple over with a yelp, my elbow barraging into his chest.

Instantly, my face falters. I look closely at the cuff around my skin, the way it sections out into a pattern of interlocked chains, growing and growing to meet Zoro’s. Zoro’s face contorts into a horrified realisation that mirrors mine, his wrist – and in extension, mine - tugging in front of his face as if to test the theory out.

My head whips up as I murderously look at Trafalgar.

“Oh, you did not do what I just think you did,” I snap.

Trafalgar only smiles at me, devoid of any humour. “He should’ve moved out of the way.”

[ender-cloud]

That new TGS update made me physically ill holy shit! Spoilers under cut

I feel like we all knew that this would happen but I wasn’t actually ready for it, Like god Lanyon you truly were screwed over

THIS MADE ME LIKE AGAHBAGWGAVEVS!!!

Also after this the “I wanted to be the person you needed me to be” makes me just feel so agshabaggas JEKYLLLL!!! It broke my heart and im still not ok.

Even after jekyll admitted it was him Lanyon still wanted to find an excuse how it couldn’t be at first and it’s just like, Lanyon! You can’t be doing this to me man!

Also, just, Jekyll saying that Hyde was a mistake is a punch to the gut, because i get how he can think that but Hyde is still like a part of Jekyll he separated from himself! Does he think that part of himself was a mistake? Or does he think that ever separating Hyde from him was a mistake? Because these two things can have very different meanings.

If he thinks that part of himself was a mistake: he hates a part of himself that he cant control which is something a lot of people experience but its still not ideal, But its also Fucked up, Because Hyde has become his own person and Jekyll is acting like he Dosent exist, like Hyde can’t hear all of this

But on the other hand if he thinks it was a mistake separating Hyde from himself might mean that he can see that maybe it would be better if he still had that part with him and this shows his growth from who he used to be. Finally realizing that it still makes him, him, again something some people need to overcome in real life.

Though it is most likely the first option but i can only hope its the second

I know that Lanyon’s reaction is probably the most important but I really want to see Jaspers and Rachels reactions too because we havent even gotten a glimpse of them in the background and it’s just heightening my curiosity, because Rachel was close to both of them so she’s the one im most interested in after Lanyon.

ANYWAY! BACK TO THE PAIN!!!

Im going to be honest i think Lanyon is valid for this because yes it has been 2 years and He and Jekyll have been friends for long enough to where you would have this trust base relationship.

Also they just got together romantically which would fuck up Lanyons mind even more. Like way to go Jekyll breaking the foundation of trust in a relationship in your first day of being in one. I can see how he might feel like his feelings are being played with, Hyde would avoid him, and ive been mentioning this so often but like if someone you thought was your friend and they had an Alter ego that avoided you wouldnt you be hurt?

I feel like im shitting on Jekyll a lot, and I don’t mean to because I like Jekyll!! Dont get me wrong!!! But you have to admit that it is his fault, he’s not always the victim, its the people around him who’s being affected by his actions. It was Jekyll’s choice to continue to drink the potion, it was Jekyll’s choice not to tell Lanyon, there was no outside force making him do this.

And you can’t say that Hyde was making him continue to drink the potion because for 1; i doubt that in the beginning Hyde would be able to bother him that much only starting out, im sure it was another thing that developed over time with the potions use and 2; as we saw Jekyll could’ve thrown away those potions on his own terms at any time, he didn’t have to make more.

I just wanted to make this known because i feel like it needs to, do i like Jekyll? Yes. Do i feel bad for him? Yes. Do i think he’s the victim in the situation? No, because of the reasons above. But really, I don’t hate Jekyll, and its not like its always his fault, no, but in this situation it was his actions that lead to this.

I got really sidetracked so heres some of the other images i saved because this is getting really long.

Them both crying Makes this so much worse like, these two almost never show their emotions around people, and now in front of everyone they are about to breakdown, it just makes my chest tight, God dammit Sage this Chapter was painful

[possibilistfanfiction]

Butch Bea with thoughts around top surgery? (if it's not a consideration for her/them totally no worries) would be interesting to hear Bea deciding and/or confiding in Ava abt it - your writing of feelings is always so good tysm

[ok if ppl don't want this in the butch bea canon then that's fine BUT if ppl do... this is sweet. i love this prompt]

//

you've seen beatrice come out of surgery before, but this is different. her eyes flutter open reluctantly, although she'd already woken up for the nurses before they let you come back to the pacu. you're sure she'll be nauseous, because anesthesia always makes her feel sick, but when she finally manages to look at you steadily, she smiles.

'hi baby,' you say, and you're in the same kind of sterile hospital as you have been before, when things have been bad, and scary, or hard. but this — this — is so, so beautiful.

'hello ava,' beatrice says, her voice rough from being intubated, hilariously formal for being so obviously high.

'how you feeling?'

'pretty good.'

'yeah?'

'a little sick to my stomach. but — everything went okay?'

you run a hand through her soft hair, kiss her forehead. 'it went really great.'

her smile breaks your heart a little: you know, now, more than anyone else in the world but her, how long she denied herself this peace.

'your surgeon said she'd be by soon, and you'll be able to see.' she leans into your hand with a sigh, and you rub your thumb along her cheekbone. 'you can rest while we wait for her.'

she's asleep almost immediately, her long lashes and her freckles and when she had brought top surgery up, months ago, with shaky hands, you had held her in your arms and held her jaw in your palm. 'there are very few things that could make me love you less,' you had told her. 'this will make me so proud of you, and so, so happy for you.' she had nodded and kissed you, salty, relieved tears down her cheeks. 'my only condition is that, if you feel like it, you wear shirts as rarely as possible at home. or out, i'm not opposed to that either.' and she had laughed and you're more sure, every single day, that the world isn't supposed to exist to harm or to hurt.

you hold her hand in yours, update your sisters and friends that bea is awake and fine and loopy, promise lilith that you'll send some good videos of her soon, and a few minutes later wake her when her surgeon knocks on the door.

'i can see?' she asks, excitement evident even through the fog of anesthesia, and you love her.

'we want to keep the padding and compression on for the most part,' her surgeon explains, but then she smiles. 'but yes, for a minute.'

bea nods and you help her sit up a little in bed. you're no stranger to surgical dressings and drains at this point, but you've always found them necessary at best, gross and painful at worst. but you watch beatrice get to look at the curved scars that span her chest, the bandages over her re-grafted nipples — you watch her entire face light up and her shoulders set and she grins and starts to cry. you look too, and she is so, so beautiful; you feel tears burn at your eyes too and then she looks at you and laughs.

her surgeon smiles too. 'your swelling well go down, and the drains will come out in about a week, hopefully.'

'it'll be even better?' she asks, disbelief and awe.

you squeeze the top of her hand, the deep reverence in her voice filling your whole body with unspeakable joy.

/

it takes a few weeks for her to be back on her feet, a few months until she gets to go surfing and to the dojo again. but you make sure she's comfortable and order all the food she wants; you wash her hair for her and empty her drains. you are no stranger to being cared for — by beatrice, with tenderness — and, when it's your turn, you realize, time and again, that there's love there that moves heaven and earth.

'ugh.' lilith rolls her eyes when bea walks out of the hall from your bedroom, joggers slung low on her hips, drying her hair. all of the swelling has gone down and her nipples have fully healed.

'hello, lilith,' bea says. 'so nice of you to drop in uninvited and then complain about brunch.'

'oh, i wasn't complaining about brunch. i like these pastries.' she waves the pistachio croissant she took off of your plate around for effect. 'i'm complaining because i feel like i'm going to have to see your abs for years now, all the time.'

'i'm so very sorry,' bea says, definitely not sorry at all. lilith has been in and out every few days to check up on bea, so it's all a very silly charade at this point.

'i am happy,' lilith says, taking a bite of the croissant and then continuing, her mouth full, just to bother bea, 'that you're doing so well. and feeling so happy in yourself.'

'thank you,' beatrice says, her strong back turned to you as she makes both of them tea very precisely. 'chew with your mouth closed, please.'

[surftrips]

LOVE HIM (I DID)

OBX WRITING WEEK DAY 4 — SECOND CHANCE W/ RAFE CAMERON

word count: 1093

summary: rafe leaves for the last time. y/n comes back for the last time.

a/n: sorry this is a day late! was absolutely slammed this week with work, so the rest of my stories for obx week will be pushed back by one day. <3

You should’ve known better. You had met Rafe through your favorite cousin, at a backyard pool party. It was late and you two were the only ones left standing outside, lighting cigarettes off the oven. 

That was in the summer, you could’ve never seen the bloodbath that was coming. Never would have known what a waste of time being with him was. Because no matter how good it felt, none of that was worth how awful his absence felt.

And no matter how much you wanted it to work out, loving him was just not fair. It was sad really, how often he left and how often you let him back into your life. 

“Why are you leaving again? Please tell me,” you begged. 

"Because I don't want to fucking hurt my girlfriend.” Rafe snapped. "God, half the time I'm with you, I'm scared I could break you, even though I'm doing everything I can to hold back."

You wanted nothing more than to help him. It broke your heart to see him struggling and instead of going to you for help, he would run away. Every time. 

“Rafe, I can handle it. We’re supposed to be in this together,” you responded.

“No, no I can’t hurt you anymore.”

“You’re hurting me right now.” 

That was the last time you two spoke, nearly a month ago. You, too tired to try anymore, and Rafe, too stubborn to come back for one last time. 

He had his issues. He would come over upset sometimes, from a long day of work or dealing with his father. You were always able to calm him down, but you could tell that he felt like a burden. You always assured him he was anything but, that you loved him and you would never get tired of him. 

It never seemed to get through his head, or his heart, the fact that he was loved. You began to believe that maybe love wasn’t enough, that maybe you weren’t enough. 

Being with him started taking a toll on you, and he knew this too. But this didn’t mean that you wanted to break up, you were willing to fix things with him. You always were. 

Even though you weren’t seeing him anymore, you had his best friends send you occasional updates on how he was doing. Topper said that he was, quote, “sad, but getting through it,” which you’re not sure was reassuring or not. 

Still, you were glad to see him back at work and smiling sometimes on the beach. You kept your distance from him, knowing that maybe this was the break he needed to finally get better. If you weren’t going to help him, you just wished someone or something else did. It was a hard truth to swallow, that the love of your life might be better off without you, but you loved him more than the truth. 

One day, his other friend Kelce told you something that stopped you in your tracks. Apparently, Rafe was in therapy. You could hardly believe the words he was saying to you.

“Like, he’s talking to a professional? About his feelings?”

“Apparently, he didn’t say much to me. You know how he is,” Kelce explained.

“What were his exact words?” Maybe his friend had heard wrong.

“Uhhh, ‘Nah, I can’t go, I got therapy.’” 

“That’s it?”

“Yeah, that was it.” 

“Well, how does he seem nowadays? Better?”

Kelce hesitated, knowing that if he said yes, you might feel bad, but if he said no, you would feel even worse. He settled on the truth, “Yeah, honestly he does seem better. Smiling and laughing. Making jokes again. He was so serious a few months ago when you guys broke up for real.” 

The word “break up” was still sensitive to you, but you pushed on. “Good, that’s really good. Thanks, Kelce.” 

Back at home, you wondered about what this meant for you two. If there was even a “you two” to begin with. You both had been on your own for so long now, it almost felt like that backyard pool party had never happened. Almost.

You knew that no matter how hard you tried to forget him, Rafe would always be an important part of your life. You told yourself that you didn’t love him anymore, that you only used to, but that wasn’t true. No matter how hard loving him got, losing him was even worse. You decided that this would be the last time once and for all. 

He answered his door on your third knock. 

“Y/N? What are you doing here?”

“Hi, Rafe. How are you? Can I come in?” you said, trying to sound nonchalant. 

“Uhh, sure. Come in, is there something wrong?” His eyes scanned your face and body for any signs of distress or hurt. 

“No, nothing is wrong,” you smiled at him gently, hoping to change the anxious expression on his face. “Kelce told me you were in therapy.” 

“Oh.” 

“Is that true?”

“Yeah.” He wasn’t offering you anything. “My therapist says that I should take time to be alone right now. To work on myself instead of depending on other people.” 

“I understand,” you said slowly. “I just came over here to check on how you were doing.”

“Look, Y/N, we do this every time. I appreciate you checking on me but this is my problem to fix.”

“You can fix this problem, but that doesn’t mean you have to be alone all the time. You know I’m here for you, right?”

“I know, but that was the issue. I only depended on you. It wasn’t fair to you.”

For the first time, he was admitting it out loud. The fact that there was never a balance in your relationship.

He continued, “You didn’t have anyone to lean on. I knew that and I was being selfish because I couldn’t stand the thought of being alone.” 

“Rafe…” 

“Y/N, can I just ask you one thing?”

“Yes?”

“That you’ll be there for me when I’m better. I’m not telling you not to see anyone else, or even wait for me, just that I’ll at least have a friend when I find myself again. Because I’m worried you’re not going to like who that is, hell, I don't even know who I am underneath everything.” 

You sighed, “Of course. I know you, I know how incredible and kind and sensitive you are. You’re my best friend, at the end of the day. Always.”

With that, he pulled you into his arms and you hugged as if for the first time. 

[mykoreanlove]

Things that made him run to you

[part 1]

[part 2]

“Jinyoung, for fuck’s sake, can you concentrate please?”

No, he couldn’t. Ever since he saw you a couple nights ago, you were living in his head rent-free. He didn’t tell the others – didn’t want to – as he wanted to keep you private for now. Only his to enjoy.

He bumped into you at a local bar, after downing a couple of beers with his acquaintances. He couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw you. You were still as beautiful as ever but something about you was different. Something about you changed and he couldn’t quite put his finger on what it was.

You casually chatted for a while, hitting it off as if nothing had ever happened between the two of you. As you updated him on the recent events in your life he mustered you with hawk-eyes. You were radiant, almost beaming. Your pretty eyes sparkled like diamonds. You smiled whole-heartedly, the smile even reaching your eyes. You spoke your mind confidently, not caring about the opinions of others. He finally figured it out – your whole demeanor had changed. You were on another vibe, another energy that he was drawn to like a moth to the flame.

He stopped listening altogether and only thought about getting you back. He had to have you; he was desperate for you. Seeing you like that – confident, bossy, savage – was beyond attractive.

And you knew. You noticed his pupils dilating, him taking sharper breaths, his dark eyes being glued to your lips – you noticed and loved every second of it.

This man right here broke your heart when he abandoned you back then.

Or so you thought. It took you some time to see the truth of it all, but eventually you did and from that moment on you had nothing but appreciation for him. Because of Jinyoung you were able to be real with yourself. You took his words to heart and worked on yourself. You started loving yourself like you deserve to be loved. Did you imagine it was him in the beginning? Most definitely. But after a while you understood that you were good on your own. You made it into a project, you started loving yourself as a means to get him back but surprisingly you fell in love with yourself for real.

Now you looked into the mirror and loved what you saw. Now you felt happy and content, even if no man was around. Now, you felt like the baddest bitch on this planet. And other people? They thought so, too. They saw the changes in you, sensed the new energy you were embodying and acted accordingly.

Jinyoung wasn’t the only lover you bumped into. Old flames, new flames, they were all lining up the street to be with you. Oh, how your life had changed. Now, they all wanted to be with you. Courting you, spoiling you, making you their #1 priority. And for the first time in your life, you understood why.

“You seem different, y/n.” You looked up into his eyes, almost smitten by his enticing looks. You smiled at him, warmly, before taking his hands into yours.

“I feel different, Jinyoung. And you are the one I have to thank!” He couldn’t follow; his questioning eyes giving him away. “You wanna thank me? If anything, I thought you’d wanna punch me for breaking up with you.”

You laughed out loud, realizing how much you had missed him. “Well, I wanted to… in the beginning. But I realized that you were right. I was a total wreck back then. I relied on you to make me happy and loved and important and stuff but being your emotional slave was no way to live. So, I took your words to heart, and I started to work on myself.” You squeezed his hands, relieved to finally say that out loud. “Thank you, Jinyoung. Thank you for opening my eyes. That heartbreak changed me for the better and I can now say that I love myself. All of me – the good, the bad, the ugly. I made peace with myself, and I feel like I’m ready for love. True love!”

Jinyoung replayed that scene over and over. Back then he wished for this outcome, but he never would have anticipated it coming true. You had changed and he could tell. It irked him that every other man could also tell – they were eyeing you like prey.

He couldn’t blame them though. You were the sexiest woman in this bar, capturing every man’s attention without even trying. Why would you try though? You were so full of love and admiration for yourself, every other pair of eyes was simply a luxury. A preference, not a necessity. Now it was Jinyoung squeezing your hands: “Ready for love, huh? Should we give it another try then?”

“Everybody, let’s take a break. And Jinyoung, you better get your act together!” His manager was pissed, but he couldn’t care less.

He grabbed his phone hastily and sighed in dismay as he noticed that you hadn’t text him back. “Why won’t she answer?”, he mumbled silently. And then you did. He almost dropped his phone from excitement as he saw your name pop up. Heart beating faster he beamed with joy as you agreed to see him.

“I’m gonna make you mine again y/n, just wait and see.”

[armand-dearest]

Breaking Bad update!

I'm now almost done with season 3. The pacing of this show is very slow, it's very of its era. I feel the show would actually benefit from episodes being 5-10 mins shorter, and having about 3-5 less episodes per season. The overarching plot I don't really care about. What I do care about is the characters, their development and their insane dynamics with eachother tbh

I had elements of the show spoiled for me decades ago, so I know my now favourite character Gus Fring gets Harvey Dent'd eventually and I really don't wanna see that. I genuinely smile and kick my feet a little when he's on-screen. Extremely competent, evil, cunty and autistic gay villains who are a hairs width from overreaching their limits are my favourite niche. When he smiled like a giddy little kid after hearing a man get shot over the phone after he arranged said mans death it made me grin ear to ear, he's such a little freak. I adore him. I wanna see him commit war crimes 🖤

I still love and support Skylar. The only "bad" thing she's done imo is take Walter back. I'm sad Walt Jr is less present this season as I wanted to see him grow up a bit and become more likable. When he was blowing up at Skylar I just really did not like him - but I understood it. Typical child of divorced parents, blaming the "unfun" parent, who is usually the mother.

I think Hanks development so far has been fantastic too this season. I've only just finished the episode where Marie agrees to take Walt's "gambling money" to help Hank recover from his gunshot injuries - but I know the second Hank is awake and able to really focus on how weird that is, he's gonna become immediately suspicious of Walt. I really wanna see that. I also appreciated the scene of Hank finally breaking down and crying in Marie's arms in the elevator. I wanna see his toxic masculinity break down a little piece by piece. He has a good heart in there and I wanna see that more.

I left Jesse and Walter last........ They may have one of the most interesting relationships I've seen. The ways in which Jesse is constantly paralleled against both Skylar and Walt Jr is so sick. They're so sick. The way Walt argues with Jesse like he's his spouse, but comforts him like a kid. Uses his proud / soothing dad voice to actively manipulate him against his best interests. Walter White so deeply sick in the head, he's using his former student / narrative other woman / narrative son / narrative guard dog for narcissistic supply - for everything he's got, and is carelessly ruining his life. Walt let the one girlfriend - the one partner he's seen Jesse have die, and constantly refers to himself as Jesse's (business) "partner". But always treats him as his hated wife and naughty child. It's................ Bro. Bro what the fuck

[romanarose]

Life update if anyone cares.

I only post this bc i was posting my depressing shit for months and a lot of people were reaching out in concern <3

cw sever depression, self harm, suicide, csa, SA, all the bad. but also lots of good <3

TLDR: Despite a god-awful semester, i got all a's and b's

Everyone thats been following me the last few months has seem my personal posts about how fucking awful things have been for me.

I've dealt with fact I can no longer deny that what happened to me was CSA, despite being on a milder side of things. That sparked an absolutely spiral. I didnt sleep for months which made things worse. School, I got an F on a midterm and i NEVER get F's on writing assignments.

Work had its complications and i quit and then rescinded that quit two days later. I was so constantly depressed in my dorm my roommate literally told me i needed to go to the basketball game with them bc i was sitting in a depression hovel none stop. I only went to services twice this whole time, one shabbat and once for Rosh Hoshannah.

I burned the ever living fuck out of my fingers, yall remember that one? lol.

In novemeber i had relapsed so severely on self harm i thought i had accidentally killed myself. I should've called 911. I thought I was bleeding out and/or going into shock. I then worked myself up more by going down pages of the internet about medical shook and people dying from it. that did not help my heart rate. I couldn't stand, I couldnt see straight for a while.

I could not afford an ambulance or a hospital stay as i am uninsured and only ork 25 hours a week. not a lot of money.

All this happened and I didn't miss work. This is not a brag, this is me not being able to makegood choices for myself.

Finally, thanksgiving break hit. Thank fucking god. I WANTED to use those 4 days of absolutely nothing to get to my TWO BIG RESEARCH PAPERS I HADNT STRTED YET but alas, I was SICK. I was so sick, in fact, and so hoped up on cough medicine for 3 days i was incomprehensible.

I was so physically ill, i couldnt even think about how mentally ill i was. I slept and slept and slept. And by the time sunday hit, I felt so recharged.

My failed midterm was so bad and so not me my professsor reached out to me. Im close with him (in a v appropriate way lol, hes a bruce springsteen fan too) and i felt comfortable telling him essentially that for a few months there things were severe, and I really should've gone in for a 72 hour hold multiple times and i was not safe. through a few lines of resources, I ended up back in therapy bc my school added a new therapist that is a woman (i stopped going last year bc i didnt like seeing a man)

I like my new therapist.

Anway, in about 2 weeks I wrote 2 12 page research papers, 2 book report papers, 1 science paper did 2 presentations, took 2 finals, wrote 2 more finals with essay questions, and at the end of it all, not only did I not fail any classes...

I GOT ALL A'S AND B'S! Which means my gpa is still high enough to renew my scholarship for my last year

I am so fucking proud of myself for accomplishing all this despite suffering so fucking badly. I havnt felt pain like that in years, just agony.

I had a down turn again over christmas bc my siblings were literally ass, upto and including making fun of me for not ating (i am multiple accounts of sexual trauma from several people, so im scared of dating), making fun of my eating, and my sister slapping me and my older brother hitting me. Was a bad time. But for right now, im in the place im staying for break (all january) im back at my old day care and they love me, and olive garden at this store has been going great

Im hoping next semester to be better, im hopful at least

Anyway, thank you so much to everyone who has supported my writing has supported me through these times. It makes me happy that i came her to share my silly little moon knight x reader series, not really intending on writing a whole lot, but next thing i know, i have friends and a lil community. so thank you <3

[lucysarah-c]

When are you updating Holy Ground? I miss it 😭

P.D: I love your fics, my favorite Levi writter

OMG! Hi! How are you?

Ah thank you do much for saying I'm your favourite Levi writer! I don't think I deserve such honour! And thank you for inquiring about Holy Ground 🥺 it's my baby.

Soon! I hope if not this upcoming Friday, very soon.

I can gift you a little spoiler under the cut if you want it 😉.

Have a lovely day!

"No, no," I insisted. "Marie was Erwin's apple of his eye. She was the love of his life, and to this day he still looks at her starry-eyed." A nervous giggle left my lips. "I appreciate it, but it's alright."

"But—" Mikasa interrupted herself, as if giving it a second thought, "but if Commander Erwin doesn't talk to you about it, maybe it's because he's still hurting..."

It made me chuckle. "No, Mika, look. It's extremely uncomfortable to talk to a friend about the time you two lost sight of what should have always been just a friendship, even if only for a little bit," I said, unable to stop smiling forcefully. "Certain things are better buried."

"You said that nothing happened between you two, but this does feel like a love story!" Connie chimed in.

"Well... Because whatever I had with him doesn't feel like something we shared. It's mostly the reason I got with Levi, the love of my life... It vanished into a mere trip on the road to the place where I was meant to be," I attempted to make them see, to understand that it was over. And it had been over for years. "It's done, guys. Just because I'm telling you about my past doesn't mean it's my present."

"Ahhh—I don't know how to support this. If I were the Commander, I wouldn't want anyone else to be with the person I like. Marie is still in love with him, but I wouldn't be able to stand the idea of you moving on with someone else," Eren said, conflicted, as if the idea of someone forgetting him or him being a mere chapter in someone's life was unbearable.

"It's called healthy relationships, Eren," I clarified. "We are very, extremely good friends. It's done!"

"Then why is he sad in this part of the story?" Sasha innocently asked, "If he didn't care."

"Ah—mh—" I mumbled incoherent noises as I rolled my eyes, searching for an answer that I didn't have myself.

"Because nothing hurts more than the forever 'what ifs,'" Armin interrupted with somber eyes, forcing all of us into a silent moment. "Realizing you fell in love with someone you just lost. He's hurting because he realizes that he will forever wonder.

"It's easier to get over something that happened and combusted; you remember the good times, the bad ones, the reality.

"But you always wonder. Your mind brings up scenarios that you will never know if they are real. Something full of possibilities that is as fictional as it is real. Sitting down in the loneliness with you and the ghost of your hypothetical lover," the small blond boy said while playing with his hands, speaking his mind without minding the crowd. "Isn't that so?"

"No," I replied quickly, but the haste of the answer didn't match the security in it. Perhaps it had always been easier to imagine that he didn't even give it a thought than to go back to the cemetery and wonder about the dead. "I understand you want it to look romantic, Armin," I chuckled. "But the truth is that Marie—"

"Maybe Marie is Erwin's love of his life," Armin quickly interrupted me, "but you... you are the loss of his life."

'Ouch.' It was like I could physically hear my frozen heart break. Like reading a haunting story, my mind tried to come up with signals like a madman who finds clues in the universe. I looked across a clouded room, in my happiest moments, in the arms of the man I love. Feeling the sad look in your eyes, yearning. Like a corpse at the mortuary, waiting patiently for someone to identify it, end the speculations and finally let it rest in the peace of acknowledgement.

[ggensblog]

Okay i loved your James fic, now get them back together :) my heart cant take this :)

ok so I thought this would happen so I had something on the back burner for a type of resolution type scenario. I don't have the energy to type it out right now so here are some head canons or like bullet points-

read the original; over-the-ocean call | j.p.

-years pass and after you graduate from the university you were attending your mom wants you to come back and move in with her.

-when you get back you're greeted by your mother and she's just kind of updating you on everything that has been going on recently- lily's doing well, the marauders are doing well etc.

-you get to your house and there's a surprise 'welcome back' party with all of your closest friends from Hogwarts.

-lily is like 'oh my gosh it is amazing to see you again'

-lots of hugs

-James isn't there. he is in his own apartment. he got an invitation but wasn't sure if you'd want to see him after all of this time and with the way things ended- which wasn't necessarily bad, but instead was guaranteed to make things awkward between the two of you.

-the party is fun and everything but you can't help but miss James's presence, he was always the life of every party you went to and even though it had been years since your break up and years since you've even seen him- you still found yourself looking for him or waiting for him to walk into your mother's home.

-the next couple weeks go by where you're just kind of getting back into the swing of things. one night you go out to a pub with lily and the marauders end up being there at the same time. lily claims she had no idea they would be there but she totally did.

-you and James run into each other while getting drinks and it's just as awkward as you would have expected. lots of 'so how have things been' and whatnot.

-eventually the two of you agree to get coffee sometime when you're both free.

-on said coffee date meeting you both just kind of catch up on everything you've been doing. you talk about how all of the work you were doing in your first year in America paid off and you were able to graduate from the university with an honors degree. James talks about how he sustained an injury during a quidditch tournament that forced him into retirement so now he's a personal nutritionist for a couple other quidditch players.

-you end up talking about your relationship and how you weren't a fan of how things ended. James expresses the same opinion on how you both were young and maybe not even ready for a long distance relationship quite yet. you agree.

-James says something along the lines of 'if I had to do it all over again- I wouldn't have let you go as easily.'

-swoon !

-you both agree to get dinner later int he week

-over time you both kind of settle into a routine of seeing each other on a regular basis and after a month or two James finally asks you out on a proper date.

-you agree.

-after that it was like two puzzle pieces were finally fit together after years of being apart. it's natural- your relationship. remus, sirius, lily and all of your friends are relieved that the two of you reconciled.

-and the rest is history

I hope that is a satisfying enough ending lmao- definitely a quick little thing I wrote in 10 minutes. anyway- I feel like most of my inspiration comes from songs I'm listening to so I am sure y'all can expect more 'songfics' in the future. but if you have any ideas or requests I would love to hear them.

[sukirichi]

UGH OKAY SO I WASN'T ABLE TO READ THE UPDATE ON TUESDAY BUT I READ IT WEDNESDAY NIGHT AND LET ME JUST SAY SUKI YOU REALLY KNOW HOW TO FUCK WITH US READERS (with love and admiration)

I'm glad I can finally get my thoughts out cause I was so tense at the beginning of the chapter and then started breaking tf down for the rest of it 😭😭 LIKE I SHOULD BE STRONGER THAN THIS BUT WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE SO GODDAMN THOUGHTFUL 🤬

also small sidenote i LOVEEEEE your descriptive writing. the scenery that you portrayed put me at peace (until the tears started) 🫶

ALSO GO YN FOR SETTING THOSE RULES YEAHHHHHH PROTECT YOUR PEACE (even if it's only for a little bit)

I love that we finally got a nice easygoing chapter but I was so skeptical the whole time, especially when I realized if they invited the brothers and their wives over that included 🤢ir*s🤮 AND I WAS RIGHT

I giggled so much when I read the

But knowing Kiyoomi? He'd probably make her sleep on the floor than be anywhere near her

ugh I love him sm

speaking of Kiyoomi I feel so bad for him like why can't we have both happy endings! my heart is so torn I can't even

The last you saw of Kiyoomi was him slouched over his corner, his eyes closed and his head resting on his arm.

THAT WAS SO CRUEL IM A SOBBING MESS ATP AND THAT ONE HIT SO HARD

the SECOND kiyoomi said oh she's had a big appetite as of lately I FUCKING KNEW IT I SAID IT OUT LOUD "she's pregnant isn't she 😒"

but seriously the interactions and scenes of the brothers together made me cry even harder because suna was so happy since he's never gotten to experience that ever 😭😭😭 like poor bby but also that's not an excuse for your behavior 😍 idk I feel ok the fence about him cause on one hand he's trying really really hard and there was an anon that mentioned he's finally starting to understand love and everything but also ARE WE REALLY JUST FORGIVING HIM LIKE THAT??? COME ON.

another sidenote i love getting to see maiko and tooru get better and also the little understanding that everyone has to allow airi and shinsuke have some time 🥰🥰

ugh I just love how you write everyone's interactions and relations ‼️💕

like everyone else though I definitely thought 🤢ir*s 🤮 poisoned those cookies

I can't help but imagine the bewildered look Kiyoomi must've had when we started testing apart his room like what was running through his head 😭😭

I can't wait for the next chapter though 🛐🛐!! sorry for another barely coherent brain dump 😭⚰️

I hope your day was/is good

- 🌙 anon

hello 🌙 anon !!

and aww thank you so much !! i think i spent fifteen minutes on the scenery parts alone because i struggle with describing places so i had to keep rewriting until i was satisfied with it. i’m so happy to know you enjoyed those parts though 🥹 and yes to the house rules ! rin disrespected her space already back at the palace so some rules must be set in place

LMAOOO kiyoomi real for that 😭 he’d really rather roll around in a dirty floor than share a bed with iris, although knowing him he’d say he’ll take the bed and iris can take the couch lol, man dgaf but also he’s just so AABKSLW I WANT HIM. and yep exactly ! that was the whole dilemma of ch13, because you could see rin really was trying to do better and this is all a first for him too, yknow? he never expected he’d get to experience family dinners that wasn’t held solely to discuss politics, or having game nights with his brothers. but again, none of it excuses all the horrible things he’s done

the scene where we were tearing the room apart, kiyoomi was just like ??? but yknow, him being him, he really just lets us do our own things. and if we wanna mess with iris’ stuff, so be it 🤷🏻‍♀️ oh and fun fact, we left the room crying after finding the test and kiyoomi silently cleaned everything so iris wouldn’t notice a thing when she got back. and thank you for sharing with me your thoughts anon, i appreciate it !! i also hope you’re having a very lovely timezone 💫🌷

[prettyboykatsuki]

extended authors note ; how to be a dog.

WELCOME TO MY TWISTED MIND MOTHERFUCKERS.

that is a joke. i speak in jest. this fic has taken me almost a year to write. it was requested of me in july of 2022 and its currently april 2023. i want to give my highest regards ever to the most lovely and patient human being in this world miss ame. your kind words through updates kept me pushing through the very end and i hope this fic is everything you could want

ok. onto the talking about it stuff.

this fic is pretty dark all things considered. though my scale for that is kind of fucked and since this is my tumblr audience - you people are well-aware it gets bad but its... still pretty graphic. there is a lot of truly henious shit in here and its in the perspective of that guy.

tldr ; don't read if you think it will give you the heebie jeebies. u are not obligated and i am not your mother nor am i a public executioner. if this is the one fic u skip out on no hard feelings at all. i mean this.

this fic is one of Those Fics where writing it did something to my brain. i have never, ever in my entire writing career been so challenged by a single project. every single element of this fic has been run through a million things. the last time this happened was my big deku fic but that fic rlly feels like a cakewalk in comparison.

all that to say, because it has simply been seeing my eyes only for months with no input from anyone else - i have no idea how anything worked out. no beta no meds just balls to the wall insanity. i can only measure my own work so much and i have bar zero expectations for this fic just to save myself some sanity.

i ask very kindly that if it sucks u just dont tell me. and if it doesn't and u want to be nice that'd be cool too. but know that a lot of my heart and soul went into this and i hope in the very least - you are able to discern that in its makeup.

a lot of the stuff ive worked into here is related like. to plot and motif and actual development. the dog motif is a huge part of the story as is the religious imagery. i want this fic to feel like a fall from grace in a sense. it is a character study as much as its anything else. where there's always something wrong and one day everything goes to shit. i think gojo is that kind of sicko.

i also do like. love gojo so much. this fic is written with nothing but adoration for him in mind.

i dont have much to add (said after this absolutely disgusting wall of text) because my tumblr homies r very aware of what shit im up to and this fic is not a surprise to anyone.

but i hope you enjoy it if you do read and even if you don't, thanks for sticking around despite it all. i have been thru the trenches and i will need a bit of break to recuperate once its in the world for good so i hope u can be kind

i am terrible with comments and asks and tags bc it all scares me but i am so genuinely and so unfathomably grateful for all of it and i hope im finally out of my insane writing dry spell.

thanks. lots of love. sincerely yours,

fang.

[honipaii]

REVIEW TIME!

Okay, I've been waiting to write a review for this one!

Let's introduce Henri from "The Ssum" (Bravo, Bravo!)

I just fell in love with Henri since the first time I saw that post.

Elise broke my heart (I don't hate her) but I understand that mama's boy, I hope they are all happy.

Everyone got them own flaws but Henri had been empathic with me until now. And his voice! His laugh! So heart-warming! Omg, he's so silly and cute and serious and and...!! I love him. I want to know him more!

Update! Spoilers ahead!

I'm heartbroken, Henri isn't a bad guy he's just dependent of his family. Until this day (8th day of his route) I've been able to know him more and more, I really like it. Sometimes he says things that break my chicken heart like this message:

And I'm like 'Gosh, dude! Don't even say that! U r a good man, shut it!'. I don't hate nor dislike him. There're just bad people (Elise, stop. You can still change) that don't understand Henri. It breaks my heart! Do it again, Cheritz!

Update! (Yes, again) And Spoilers! (Again)

Look at him! OhGoshILoveHim! (He broke my heart like 3 times but that's for the sake of the plot)

I love how he's written and his problems too. And with the problems he has, it makes sense for him to act like this. He just needs patience and he needs love too...! (Our, the MC's, love. Not Elise's twisted love)

Update! (Yes, again 222) And Spoilers! (Again 222)

I'M. SO. SUPER. IN. LOVE

I LOVE a man who can talk about casual plans like himmm. I LOVE a man who is happy about the idea of being in the same house as me. (I love the idea of me being loved by Henri).

Let. Him. Cook.

Duudeee, the way I'd literally eat anything this man gives me DUDE.

LET HIM COOK 222 (for me)

Update! (Yes, again 333) And Spoilers! (Again 333)

We are cringe, but we are free. I literally told him to wear cat ears as a joke and HE ACTUALLY DID IT? Gosh- Henri, you're killing me.

Anyways, I can't actually believe that everything with Elise haven't been resolved yet! It's ok (?) to make a fuss because of someone "played" with your child. But because that someone haven't responded ik two days? That someone is a doctor. Doctors have a hard time you know?? I was legit confused.

Your honor! This man is the silliest!

Update 444! Spoilers 444!

Your honor! What!?

I- what? Here I can see that Henri is getting his karma, ik ik he have a red flag or two (or three...) but isn't this a little bit... I don't know... EXTREME? Lord? He literally fainted, I was shocked (Not much, he wanted me to feel sorry (I am but he's nit the only victim here) for him)

Now in 14th day of his route, it's about to end and I'm TREMBLING IN FEAR cuz there still are problems to be solved;;...

Last Update (12-04)

The last day finally came and I'm SOBBING. I ALREADY REACHED THE LIMIT OF IMAGES AND I WANTED TO AHHH

Henri I love him, mom. When he said 'I'll say the rest when I get back to the island. So wait for me' I was DYING, I knew that was the last day, it hurts.

So far I've really liked Henri.

So so much. I mean- the way he's always considerate towards me yet the way he's just like a little kid wanting attention and avoiding culpability because of his parents and childhood makes me want to-!!! It drives me insane how much I grow fond of him of his calm voice when he talks about little things and when he's stressed, seeking comfort in the MC.

I REALLY liked Henri. I'm now testing other ssumone while waiting to another update.

[ultraericthered]

Anime Update V2 65

Vinland Saga S2 - When the episode opened with Thorfinn and Einar getting told they're close to being given freedom as a special deal from Ketil, I figured something bad was going to offset how good things were looking and right on cue, we got another POV shift to what King Canute has been up to. He poisoned his brother Harald so that he could claim power over both England and Denmark, and not only is he starting to hallucinate his father's decapitated head talking to him, but he likes talking with him and now rather than hate him he sees him as an ally in carrying the weight of the crown. So twisted!

Hunter x Hunter - Gon having to appease an enraged Palm by having a "date" with her was funny but a little bit discomforting. Naturally I was more into what Meruem and his forces were getting up to in that distant kingdom, and Rammot's surprise apperance before Killua at the end signifies more thrilling times ahead.

Fate/Stay Night: Unlimited Blade Works - Rin finally just snapped and chewed Shirou out about his toxically selfless and try-hard heroic ideals, telling him that he may sometimes need to place value on his own life over others or he'll never experience true happiness and may one day break. Despite this, Shirou remains committed to his ideals. Lancer then offers to enter an alliance with them, which they accept so that he can fight Archer when they go face him again.

Re:ZERO - A wager is now on between Subaru and Roswaal, with Subaru hoping to save both the Sanctuary and the mansion, but Roswaal thinking he'll end up breaking from his failure to do so. We finally see Puck again and he speaks with Subaru while Emilia is fast asleep but then when Emilia awakens, he just up and leaves her for good? Guess it needed to be done so that Emilia's memories would no longer be surpressed, but I was still really sad for Meelie. Was not expecting to be shown backstory for Otto as he diverted Garfiel's attention away from Subaru, and even getting to see Betelgeuse again for a little bit during the backstory as an extra treat. The most powerful impact was made by Subaru and Emilia's big discussion, which yanked my heart back and forth with the emotions it made me feel and felt very raw, very painful, and very believable given the issues both of these characters have and are still working through. Subaru is able to take the example of love he was given by Rem and give it to Emilia, stating how well aware he is of all her flaws and that he loves her in spite of them all. And they even get their first kiss! <3

Symphogear AXZ - After successfully mining the Fool's Stone, the girls are put through some intensive training from Genjuro since they can't rely on just the stone when up against Alchemists. The day after, Cagliostro abumbses Chris And Tsubasa when they're in a visit with Sonia and Stefan. Just as Chris was about to say something to Sonia regarding the past. With help from Stefan, Chris and Maria activate their Ignite modes that have been uprgraded by the Fool's Stone, cancelling out the effect of Cagliostro's Faust Robe. And then Cagliostro gets slain, which I hate to see, as I enjoyed her a lot. Now Adam seems to have narrowed down who he wants as his sacrifice.

Eureka Seven - Eureka has been aloof and not speaking to Renton after he piloted the Nirvash last time, and while trying to mend the fences with her, Renton is called on a mission down into the mines. Renton wanders off and finds a mysterious house underground, and once inside, I'm not ever sure what goes down. Just a really weird occurance where Eureka goes into a daze back on board the Gekko while Anemone is suffering from internal pains at the same time, and Renton somehow crosses over into their head spaces from within the house, so it's like the experience with the Coralian all over again.