#Back to me learning something bad from my ex best friend though I also want to say that I'm not saying that to condemn her either.

[brokenrobot2004]

It makes me a little sad that I'm going to be convicted forever by the hate blog my ex best friend made about me years ago now; to her, the drama ended with that blog, but to me, it's going to stay forever as long as it's around, because it's one of the first things anyone is going to see when they look me up; I'd be more accepting of it if it wasn't also loosely comprised of buzzwords (Biphobic and ablest are specifically strange to me because I'm bi and diagnosed with autism, and even back when I was aroace I never said anything about bisexuals? I never said anything about any kind of disability either, I was always very respectful about both of those things and have even considered myself bi before now too, when I was 11) and mildly sexualized assumptions that an adult made of posts I made when I was either 10 or 11 years old in the furby community, just trying to fit in with what other people were saying but not entirely having a grip on what they meant and sounding off, when I never meant to sound the way I did at all; like how "Fetishizing trans women" was a post where I angrily mocked my mom calling me cute or girly things because I was a trans guy and found it upsetting, "disabled furby fetish" was me trying to make a positivity post about helping disabled furbies to be inclusive like everyone else was being, one of the things happened to be me saying I'd help a furby who couldn't walk sit on the toilet because I heard around that people taking care of the elderly would do that, so I included it in my post to seem knowledgeable on real ways of helping, and that was it; I really really wish that even while I was an unhinged young teenager, people would have just gently asked before writing those ever-lasting posts, "Hey, did you mean bla-bla-bla when you said this, or did you mean something else?" and I would've answered honestly, I'm sure; I was a bit of a monstrosity the further back you go into history of how I acted on the internet but I was really, not all that terrible to talk to when there was no perceived threat from the person and asking me a rational question would've been easy, I never ever mean to hurt anybody, but now, that's all people are going to think of me; even in real life, because who wouldn't look up my social media in this digital era? 🙁

And it was mostly, if not entirely, consisting of behaviors and views I've grown out of since the 5+ years ago it happened; I have even been met with backlash in 2022 or 2023, for saying I'm sorry to someone I was mean to back then 😯 (I now think that was unnecessary from me, I was very tired that day) what do the people who've cancelled me want from me? I don't think they want me to apologize, or care that I've gotten so much better since then; I think maybe they just want to revel in that I am a complete recluse now socially, a coward; I cannot even say "Cool fursuit!" or "I like your artstyle!" without feeling like somehow, someone will come forward and be able to twist what I've said into something terrible and use it against me if they don't like me, because that's just how people can be online now; it's terrifying. My ex best friend has shunned me behind my back for being so scared, I remember being shown longer ago; but knowing the things that upset her, she would be absolutely broken if someone did to her, what she did to me online; because that shit can ruin careers, it could ruin my chance of ever making a friend again, even IRL because anyone can look me up online; imagine doing that to somebody who was at the time, not even old enough to drink.

I've been called vile, irredeemable, and anonymously told to kill myself once even; I was a 16 year old; a rather air-headed one too yet. Who would talk that way to a 16 year old who made it clear he was trying to improve and never meant to hurt anyone? Who knew he was in the wrong and was trying his hardest to fix it? For young readers rolling their eyes, how absurd that is will click when you're older and realize how inexperienced most people are at that age.

And that isn't keeping in mind how developmentally delayed I always have been too, which I state as a fact and not as an excuse; I don't let it ever stop me from improving myself either, but I feel like it's probably important that I mention that about myself here; I've always been considerably far behind people my age socially and often, intellectually; it was very visible at School especially where alot of the work I did was far behind everyone else's, and was alot slower than them too, and when I was younger I'd hardly get any work done at all even and was very difficult to deal with as a whole; Autism can be a very unflattering disability, it's not generally pure or wholesome, and it has influenced my bad or otherwise embarrassing behavior alot in the past; which I will still take responsibility for; because my illness isn't some seperate entity from me I'd use as an excuse, I just want it to be understood and recognized that I can't function as well as most other people in the head, I never could, and I genuinely just want that to be understood coming from someone who is seriously, detrimentally autistic to a point I had gotten diagnosed with it at a young age; my past outbursts and socially-inept behaviors helped by it gave the internet ridiculous shitshows to point at, and I'll never be able to take that away; what I can do is hope that I'll be atleast somewhat understood in the end, and left alone for how I was such a long time ago now

I've made a good effort to no longer be that way or act immature and freak out like I did long ago, and I can't stop persuing a social presence at such a young age, over the idea that strangers might not understand that about me.

I have no respect for people who think call-out and purity culture are okay and useful towards youth; this stuff was meant for use against megacorperations and rich celebrities that are getting boycotted for being generally harmful and/or gross on a huge scale that affects many innocent people, not stupid teenagers like I was, or even young adults. People learn, grow, and change; I spend and have spent every second of my life finding ways to grow and improve, and taking information in from people I look up to and admire to do so; and came far enough that I am 100% no longer the petty, angry, and immature person I was at the time, and that makes me very proud. I am no longer going to cower in my little corner, shivering at the thought of complimenting someone's 3D model or uploading a piece of music on YouTube; because people who told a scared and confused autistic kid to end his life and tried to take future careers, friendships, or even love away from him with things he's said and done years and years ago, do not deserve my compliance anymore

[milkloafy]

TOO LATE TO BE YOUR FIRST LOVE, BUT I’LL ALWAYS BE YOUR FAVORITE — MEGUMI FUSHIGURO

⋆｡˚ ❀ summary: megumi has known you since childhood as his sister’s annoying friend. now, years later, he sees you at a nice restaurant and wonders why you’re all alone. ⋆｡˚ ❀ contents: fem!reader, fluff, aged up au, gojo is…here xD, bsf brother / sister’s bsf au, reader wears a dress, megumi checks reader out, reader gets stood up by her ex womp womp… ⋆｡˚ ❀ wc: 1.9k+ ⋆｡˚ ❀ a/n: first jjk fic and i’m starting it off with a banger cliche ! i can’t help it okay megumi’s sister is soooo pretty pls by my bsf in another life :3 also ik this title is so long i literally could not think of anything so i was like okay yeah sure let’s listen to miss sabrina carpenter and then bam! here we go i guess! 

“Be good to my kouhai, okay Megumi-chan?”

Those were the words that rung through his head as he saw you sitting at a table for two, alone and dolled up in a nice dress with pearls around your neck. 

Megumi didn’t claim to be an expert in your life or personal preferences, but from what he did know of you, you weren’t exactly the type to take yourself out on a date all alone. It drew too much unwanted attention towards you that you likely did not want to deal with.

That was something he certainly resonated with.

After watching you pick up your glass of water and put it down five times all in the span of one minute, he almost felt bad enough for you to head over there and take you out of your misery. Unfortunately, an aggravating voice beside him reminded Megumi why he was in this fancy restaurant in the first place.

“Isn’t that right, Megumi-kun?” 

“Huh?” he asked, turning his attention back to his own table. 

Gojo was leaning forward on the table with a smug look on his face, a look that Megumi learned was never good. Although Gojo had shades on blocking his gaze, Megumi sensed Gojo was looking directly at you.

“I said she’s pretty, isn’t she?” 

Megumi glared at the white-haired pervert with an irritated look on his face. “She’s not for you, old man.” 

Gojo laughed as he held his arms up innocently. “I meant for you. You’ve been staring at her for a while now. It’s kinda creepy, actually.” 

“That’s Tsumiki’s friend,” said Megumi, choosing to ignore Gojo’s comment. “One of her closest. Not sure why she’s here by herself. I just want to make sure she’s not in any kind of trouble.” 

“Well, let’s examine the evidence,” Gojo declared, clearing his throat before counting his fingers on one hand. “One, her hair and makeup are done real nice. Two, she’s in a fancy dress. Three, she’s been giving that glass of water a death glare for the past few minutes.”

Megumi raised his brow, unamused. “Okay. And?”

“Your sister's friend over there has just been stood up,” concluded Gojo, leaning against the back of his chair in satisfaction. “Now, if you’re going to do something about it, I suggest you do it before Yuuji and Nobara get here.” 

“Why?”

“Do you have to ask? The moment they arrive they’ll follow along behind you and see what you’re doing,” cautioned Gojo, as if he wouldn’t join them in an instant. 

Megumi made a face at the thought, but he knew Gojo was right. Itadori and Kugisaki would stick their noses into any and everything that involved him and would somehow find a way to embarrass him yet again. 

Standing up, Megumi sighed. “How long do I have?”

“I told them the reservation was for ten minutes ago. So you should have at least twenty minutes now.” 

“Thanks,” Megumi grumbled, heading over to your table with an awkward expression on his face. He hoped this wouldn’t embarrass you further, but he could deal with your potential attitude as long as it brought you some comfort. 

Though you may be annoying at times with how often you teased him and called him girly nicknames he hated, you were still his sister’s best friend. Helping you save face seemed like the good thing to his sister would want him to do. 

“Hey.” 

Startled, you looked up from your phone and saw Megumi standing next to your table, his arms folded across his chest. 

The moment you met his gaze, your eyes brightened and you waved at him.

“Gumi-chan!” you sang as a greeting, voice too loud for the formal ambiance of the restaurant.

“Shh! Are you crazy?” hissed Megumi, looking around frantically to make sure Gojo did not overhear you calling him that. However, judging by the shit-eating grin on Gojo’s face, Megumi knew Gojo heard and would never let Megumi live this down. 

You giggled at his embarrassment.

Megumi huffed. Shouldn’t you be the embarrassed one here? 

“Long time no see,” you said, motioning for him to sit across from you in the opposite seat. “What’s little Megumi doing at a fancy place like this?” You paused, gasping in surprise from a story you totally just made up about his situation, he assumed. “Don’t tell me you’re here on a date! I have to text Tsumiki! They grow up so fast…”

“I’m the same age as you,” he mumbled. 

You reached over and pinched his cheek. Megumi swatted your hand away. “You sure act younger, though!”

“Shut up.”

Megumi sighed, wondering why he wanted to comfort you in the first place. You seemed just fine to him. 

“I’m not here on a date,” he finally replied, hoping you hadn’t yet sent his sister any incriminating texts about his non-existent date. “Gojo-sensei is treating some of his students out for a graduation dinner.” 

“Aww! Graduation, already?” you cooed, as if you didn’t also just graduate university this year. “They really do grow up so fast!”

“You can stop talking now.” 

You laughed, knowing better than to take his grumpy words too seriously. Megumi was glad he didn’t have to explain that side of himself to you.

“What about you?”

“Me?” you parroted.

“Are you here on a date?”

You slowly brought up your glass of water to you and nodded. “Supposed to be…”

“You’re dating someone new already?” asked Megumi, thinking about the annoying ex-boyfriend of yours you finally broke up with a few months ago. 

Hesitantly, you shook your head, toying with the pearl beads on your necklace. “Not exactly…”

He raised a brow, waiting for you to stop being so vague. 

“He’s not someone new,” you mumbled, your voice clouded with embarrassment. 

“He’s not new?”

“Oh, Gumi! Are you really going to make me say it?” you cried, puffing your cheeks in indignation. “My ex, alright? I was supposed to be on a date with my ex right now. And he stood me up!”

Megumi blinked, his mind jumping through hoops to piece together what you were implying. “Let me get this straight.”

You made a defeated noise of agreement. 

“You broke up with your ex, he groveled and begged for your forgiveness, you agreed to go on a date with him for god knows why, and he still stood you up. And now you’re here, sad and alone.” 

You groaned, covering your own ears. “It sounds even more pathetic when you say it out loud. God. I’m so pathetic, Gumi.”

“Hey,” said Megumi gruffly. “What would Tsumiki do if she heard you say that just now? You’re not pathetic. Your ex is the pathetic one.” 

“You’re right,” you sniffled, nodding at his word. “But I still can’t help but feel that way, though.”

For the first time tonight, he saw a dejected expression cross your face. It always unsettled him to see you unhappy.

“He’s dumb for standing you up.” Megumi rubbed the back of his neck, looking away uncomfortably. “Listen, you deserve someone better than him, okay?”

“Someone like you?” you teased with the start of a grin forming on your face.

Megumi rolled his eyes in annoyance, but deep down, he was glad to see your smile return. 

“Eh? Who said you would deserve someone like me?” he retorted.

You giggled, putting your hand over your heart dramatically. “Ouch! You wound me, Gumi.”

He shrugged. 

“And here I thought you would feel bad enough for me to finally give me a chance,” you proclaimed with an exaggerated sigh.

“Shut up.”

His short words didn’t disguise the heat from spreading across his cheeks to the tips of his ears. You always toyed with him like that… There was no way you actually meant it, he told himself.

“Hey,” he said, about to suggest something he might later regret. “Instead of sitting here alone, do you want to join me?”

Your eyes widened at his invitation and his ears turned an even darker shade of pink.

“Not alone! There’ll be others there,” he said hastily. “For the graduation dinner, remember? But they won’t mind.”

You tapped your index finger to your chin a few times, as if thinking hard, before agreeing easily. “Sure! Beats being alone. And, just for the record, I would have said yes even if it was just us two.”

Megumi scowled. His poor face wasn’t able to catch a break from all the annoying heat rushing to it. “Let’s go, then.”

As you stood, you smoothed your dress down and adjusted the length so you wouldn’t accidentally flash your ass to those seated behind you. Immediately, Megumi found his gaze wandering to where the hem of your dress hugged your soft thighs. His throat grew dry. 

When he managed to tear his gaze away from your body and back to your face, he noticed you looking at him always expectantly, as if waiting for him to explain why the hell he was checking you out for so long.

Megumi cleared his throat, hoping his voice wouldn’t sound too strained. “It’s a good thing you were stood up, you know?”

“Huh?” you asked in confusion.

“Your ex doesn’t deserve to see how you look in that dress anyway.”

“Oh,” you managed to say, averting your gaze as a bashful look took over your face. This was the first time in ages that Megumi has seen you look like this.

He smiled to himself, savoring the sweet look of shyness on your face. Typically, you were the one teasing him, much to his annoyance. It was nice to get some payback sometimes.

“Thank you, Gumi,” you murmured, fingers toying with the hem on your dress, only making it rise up higher on your thighs. 

“Just the truth,” he said with forced nonchalance.

As the two of you approached the table, the contentment Megumi felt was instantly doused when he saw Gojo, Itadori, and Kugisaki all ogling at you with their mouths wide open.

“Oh ho ho! Is this a friend of yours, Megumi-kun?”

“Hey, I’m Itadori!” 

“Run while you can! You’re too pretty for him, got it?” 

You waved at the table, somehow not scared away by their obnoxiousness. “Hi! And yes, his sister tells me that all the time!” You looked over at Megumi and winked. “But I think he’s just as pretty.”

Megumi groaned as he sat down in an empty seat, putting his head in his hands in exasperation as he heard everyone laughing together. He was already regretting introducing you to his idiot friends. 

But as you took a seat next to him, he peered at you through a crack between his fingers, and he couldn’t help but feel pleased at the joyful expression on your face. If it was up to him, that’s the only way you would look.

Along with your shy expression, of course. Megumi would pay to see that again as well. 

You met his eyes through the sliver of space between his fingers and grinned at him. His found his worries fading away. 

Megumi sighed to himself. Maybe he should thank your scumbag ex for standing you up, after all. Turns out he quite liked your company. Maybe even as more than just his sister’s annoying friend.

As if you were able to read his mind, you blew him a kiss from the seat beside him and his face reddened once more.

Gojo whooped and hollered at the interaction and Megumi felt himself sinking further and further into his seat.

Never mind, he told himself. You were still the pain in his ass that would never go away.

But maybe Megumi didn't want it to.

[icyg4l]

PAC: July 2024 Predictions

Hello beautiful people! This is my last week posting/sending readings out for a while! I will be back, but I just need a moment to focus on real life. So if you would like to book a reading with me, don’t hesitate to message me privately! Anyway, tonight I will be talking about your July 2024. So please, without further ado, please select the pile that resonates with you!

Top Left-to-Bottom Right: (1-3)

Pile One: I heard "weighing out your options". I think you may be in the middle of figuring out your taste in love. However, you may be making a risky decision. Remember this everything that feels good ain't always good for you. This month, you will learn to be stingier with your love. Also, there may be someone around you that is negligent. There is no reason to take the high road with them, you need to figure out what goes on and come up with a resolution to prevent this from going on any further. I feel like you will be cutting ties with someone who has been embarrassing you. It will be sad and hard to do, but you only have one life. I also heard "count your blessings". You need to see the light in today. Act like you care about what's going on around you. There is someone who has been picking with you, it's time to cut them off! I see you feeling relieved by the end of the month (only because Leo season aka the best season has startedddd) Overall, this month seems like a good month to start over. Reignite the passion in your life and start today!

Pile Two: "Plagued with confusion" is what I just heard. I feel like this July will be kind of hard for you, Pile Two. There is something that will feel off about this month. Get your mind out the gutter, for one. But also, there is something that is feeding on your energy. It feels vampiric. A person who treats you like a baby or has a newborn baby could be significant. You are your own person. You show up as yourself and get the job done! But you have to stop letting people take advantage of your innocence. I'm watching this anime called Nana. Nana K is the very innocent, perky, loving friend who wouldn't hurt a fly. That's you, Pile Two. But just because you wouldn't hurt a fly, doesn't mean the fly won't hurt you. It seems as though you will be on a quest for independence. Trying to find your way while also trying to see what's your niche. You are young and you will figure it out. Don't let anyone tell you thank you can't. If you really want it that bad, then it can be achieved. This is cliche to say, but just believe! "Wish Upon A Star!" could be a relevant movie to you.

Pile Three: You could be taking a trip out of the country. Barcelona comes to mind. I see you also being receptive to food requests as well. You may be a picky eater, but this month you won't be, lol. Some of you are in summer school, trying to bring a grade up/trying to make the next school year easier. You should try to receive counseling as much as you can. It will ease your mind and in return, your grades will be much better. I heard the word proficient. During this time, you could find yourself doing a lot of backpacking. This is very specific but if you have been praying on someone's downfall, they will receiving their rightfully deserved karma. I am hearing a leprechaun laugh. This is someone's abusive ex or manipulative ex-bestie. I think that you will try to keep your calm this month. You should repeat mantras to yourself, everyday. Maybe you should listen to some more Jhene Aiko. I heard Kevin Gates??? LOL! You will be in touch with your feminine energy during this month so try not to be so active. Be ready for anything, beloved. And lastly, some of you will try out for a sports team. You'll get in because of your connection to the coach or one of the primetime players. Also, some of you could be going to a sports game for free because of one of the players/coaches.

[taeyongdoyoung]

act three: i might kill my ex

summary: unable to sleep, you try to think of something that will finally free you from the demons of your past... characters: reader, heeseung, sunoo, sunghoon, jay, jake, jungwon (mentioned only) genre: thriller, dark romance(-ish) warnings: insomnia, trauma, prison visit, allusions to prison violence, threats, nightmares, guns, tattoos, illegal activities, breaking in, manipulation, toxic ex, cops, blood, murder (?), suicide (?), songs+scream movie references author's note: hello everyone! the title is inspired by the scream movies and this awesome song, once again this can be triggering for some so read at your own discretion! 💙 also, this is the final part of my scream trilogy, check out the other parts if you're interested: part one & part two word count: 3k

Another sleepless night. Even though Sunoo is in prison and you now live with Heeseung as his place is better protected from breaking and entering, the mere thought of Sunghoon roaming around freely is enough to make every second of your existence a living hell. You wish the cops would take your testimony more seriously but the lack of fingerprints works magically in his favour.

You feel like a burden to your boyfriend. You follow him around like a lovesick puppy everywhere - to his work, to the gym, to the supermarket. You don't dare leave his side for fear that the second you do, something bad will happen and Sunghoon will be back and take you again. You hate being like this. You ask Heeseung multiple times if he's really okay with you being clingy and he patiently answers each time that your well-being is the most important to him and that he seriously doesn't mind you being around him all the time.

But you do. So you try to take baby steps. The first one being something you've been planning to do for a while. And finally gathered the courage to do. Visit Sunoo in prison.

"Are you sure it's a good idea?" Heeseung asks cautiously, gripping your hands.

"I can do it. There will be guards and cameras and stuff, I will be safe," you promise.

"No, I'm aware you'll be physically safe but are you sure you're ready for this? I'm talking about the mental aspects of it..."

You nod, thinking about how lucky you are to have such a considerate, warm boyfriend.

"I think I'm ready. I don't wanna be your shadow all the time. I gotta learn how to be my own person again. I figured this was a good a place to start as any."

"You're very ambitious, but okay. You know I love it that you're next to me, right? I feel safer myself when I can see you," Heeseung murmurs reassuringly.

"I know, I know," you repeat, giving him a hug. "But I gotta do this for myself."

"I trust you," your sweet boyfriend replies.

This. This is why Heeseung will always be your choice. The fact he sticks by your side and trusts you unconditionally is something Sunghoon could never achieve.

When the hours for visitation arrive, you are all nerves. Gone is the confident you that was sooo sure she could do this by herself. But you have to be stronger. So, you face your former best friend.

"Hi, Sunnie," you greet him calmly.

"N-noona, you c-came to see me," Sunoo's eyes are watery with emotion and he looks a little battered. Oh God. You don't want to imagine how hard prison life is on him. He looks so pitiful and small. But then, you remind yourself of the reality. He betrayed you and helped Sunghoon kidnap you. He's just facing the consequences for his own actions. But still...You can't help but feel a surge of sympathy for him.

"Of course I came. You're my best friend, right?"

"I don't deserve to be your best friend," Sunoo shakes his head. Good. At least he's aware of it.

"You're right, you don't," you say coldly. "And I might be an idiot but I still don't. So I'll give you an offer. Ask for a retrial, tell the truth about Sunghoon, tell them he forced you to help him and you'll get a lower sentence. From five to three years. And I'll consider forgiving you."

"I can't do that, Y/Nnie," Sunoo shakes his head.

"He will never love you. I know it, you know it, we all know it."

"It's not about that anymore. If I tell on him, he's gonna kill me," Sunoo whispers, terrified.

"Did he threaten you?"

Sunoo nods, looking around as if to make sure no one else saw or heard.

"Fucking hell, Sunoo, then all the more reason for you to testify against him! So the cops will take action and capture him."

"Easy for you to say. He could send money to some of the prisoners and I could end up dying in here."

"Well, you might die in here but I might die out there, have you ever thought about that?" you exclaim angrily.

"He won't kill you."

"You can't know that," you strongly disagree. "Just think about it, okay? You might be saving two lives by telling the truth."

Sunoo sighs deeply.

"I'll sleep on it, alright. How have you been, though?"

"Oh, suddenly he cares! I'm holding up, I guess. I can't exactly erase the traumatic memories of being kidnapped by my best friend and my ex."

"I'm sorry. I mean it," Sunoo says sincerely. And maybe he really does mean it.

Because three days later you receive a call from the police that Sunoo has asked for a retrial and he testified against Sunghoon, telling the whole truth. Even with no fingerprints, his statement, along with yours, holds more power now. And the police will start investigating further and looking for Sunghoon. That's some progress, at least.

But it's not enough. You still have a hard time falling asleep. 2-3 hours per night tops. And whenever you do sleep, you are haunted by terrifying nightmares and traumatic memories. It can't go on like this. You need something more. Something to help you feel safe.

"I need to ask you for a huge favour," you talk to Heeseung one afternoon.

"Oh?"

"It's illegal," you mention the seriousness of it.

"OH?" Heeseung is in shock.

"I need you to help me get a gun."

"Babe, what? You're not gonna do anything stupid, right?"

"Stupid is my middle name. No, but seriously. I just think I'll feel safer if I have it. For like...potential self-defense. If you know who manages to get to me. If I happen to be alone."

Heeseung shakes his head fearfully.

"I don't want to leave you alone," he insists.

"You're not my babysitter, Hee. Sooner or later, it'll happen. And I just wanna be prepared. A precaution, nothing more. I'm not planning to actively look for him," the way you say the last word is full of bitterness and anger. "But if he comes, I'll be ready."

"Okay, um," Heeseung replies reluctantly. "I have this American friend. His name's Jay, he's a total sweetheart but he might be able to hook you up with a gun. You know, just for self-defense purposes."

"Sounds perfect. Thanks so much, Hee," you squeeze his hand, already looking forward to it. Maybe that will help you sleep better at night.

You meet Heeseung's friend Jay at a lowkey shady looking place that is a tattoo parlour. Jay himself has lots of tattoos of eagles and ravens and cats. Damn, you might consider getting a tattoo yourself one day. If you survive this shithole that has been the past few months.

"Nice to meet you," you shake his hand.

"Likewise," Jay responds firmly. "Heeseung talks about you like all the time."

"That's weird 'cause I only found out about you recently," you reply, honest to a fault.

"Ouch. I don't blame him, though. If my girlfriend was so beautiful, I wouldn't want her to meet any of my friends," Jay jokes.

"I'm flattered but uh-"

"Relax, sweetheart. I have a boyfriend. And even if I didn't, you're not my type."

"Point taken," you shake your head in amusement. "So, I can get the story behind the eagles but what's with the cats?" you ask curiously, pointing at his tattoos.

"They're meant to represent my love for my cat-like boyfriend Jungwon. He's a real cutie. I feel like you two would really get along. We should go on a double date sometime!"

"That's kinda weird but in an adorable way," you chuckle. "And I'm game for the double date thing."

"So, let's get down to business."

"To defeat the Huns?" you finish the thought.

Jay eyes you strangely. Okay, not a Mulan fan but has tons of cat tattoos. You can get past that.

"Hee told me you want a gun?"

"Um, yeah. As a precaution. For potential self-defense against my shitty ex who kidnapped me."

"Do you have any preference in mind? In terms of weight or design?"

"I don't know anything about that. Whatever you recommend is good. Just something that will help me sleep comfortably, I guess."

"I have a couple of options, I'll let you try them out. There's also a shooting range underneath the tattoo parlour. I'll show you a couple of tricks, just in case."

"That sounds amazing," you reply enthusiastically. "It's more than I could ask for. Seriously, thanks!"

"Anything for my friend's girlfriend," Jay shrugs as if it's not a big deal.

After trying out a couple of guns and Jay showing you the ropes of shooting, you feel more confident and pick the weapon that speaks to you the most.

"This one," you whisper, enthralled by how light and yet powerful it feels.

"Good choice," Jay hums approvingly. "Well, I hope this whole situation ends for you soon and stay safe."

"Thank you for everything."

"Don't forget about that double date!"

"I won't," you promise and you hope that happy day comes sooner rather than never.

Time passes and there is no trace of Sunghoon. As if he was a ghost you imagined. But you know better. You know he's out there, lurking in the shadows, waiting for the right opportunity to strike. Let him come. You're ready now.

Heeseung receives an amazing job opportunity that would entail him going abroad for one week. You encourage him to take it. He's really worried about leaving you alone. But you know you can handle this.

"Are you sure?"

"Yep, I'll be fine, don't worry."

"What will you do if something bad happens?"

"I'll call you or your cop friend Jake or your lowkey sus friend Jay."

"Good girl," Heeseung praises you and kisses you gently. "And if your phone isn't nearby for some reason?"

"I'll use the gun only in self-defense."

"Right. Um, I love you, baby," Heeseung hugs you tightly.

"Love you too, Hee."

"Be back soon," he promises.

"You better," you smile.

Night comes and you are more uneasy than ever. You have been sleeping better lately with Heeseung by your side and the gun under your pillow. What has become of your life?

You make peace with the fact you probably won't get much sleep during the following week. It's okay. You'll get to sleep forever one day. But not today, Satan.

And then, speak of the devil, you hear it. A sound you know all too well. A door being attacked. But this time, he doesn't have a key. And uses something that is perhaps a bobby pin. He is slower. And you are fast. Your right hand is on your gun in no time and your left hand is on your phone. It might not even be him, but you don't care. Heeseung must be on the plane right now since he doesn't pick up so you call his cop friend Jake.

"Hi, Y/N, is everything okay?" he picks up immediately.

"Hi, Jake, someone is trying to enter Heeseung's place right now. I mean...our place."

"Oh my God, I'll assemble a squad and we're on our way! Don't do anything stupid!" Jake advises you. Heeseung might have told him you own a gun now. Oh well. You know Heeseung trusts Jake so you probably won't get in trouble with the police.

"I'll try," you chuckle and hang up. You send a quick text to Jay, informing him of the circumstances and just as you hit send, the door clicks.

He's in.

"Hi, princess," Sunghoon greets you. Oh, he looks so angry he hasn't seen you in ages. Good. Anger is good.

"Stay back," you warn him warily, pointing the gun at him.

"Aw, you're not happy to see me?" Sunghoon pouts in disappointment.

"You look like shit, Sunghoon," you hiss.

"Gee, thanks. You're as beautiful as ever," he compliments you.

"I know," you say even though you don't feel beautiful. You have dark circles under your eyes, your hair is greying from all the stress and your mental health has never been worse. But you're still here, fighting against all odds.

"Come back to me, Y/N," Sunghoon begs, straight to the point.

"Never," you shake your head with determination, tears clouding your vision. Fuck, you hate that you still get so emotional when facing him. It's a weakness that might be your downfall. But you won't let it.

"Were you pretending when you said you can learn to love me again?"

"I could never love you," you admit honestly. "And neither can you."

"N-no, that's not true," Sunghoon argues. "Just come with me, please. No one has to get hurt. Not Heeseung, not Sunoo. Just us two and everyone you care about will be safe."

Heeseung's on a plane right now. Sunoo's in prison. As much as your heart is telling you that Sunghoon could really hurt them, your mind is aware that he no longer has any power. The power is in your hands right now. Jake and the cops are on their way. But they'll be too slow.

"Well, that's too bad, 'cause I only ever cared about myself," you smirk coldly.

"You don't. You're full of love and light and warmth," Sunghoon insists blindly.

"Not anymore. You took them from me. I'd ask you to give them back but I don't think you can," you say openly. You don't even believe half of what you're saying. But that doesn't matter. You just have to make him believe it.

Sunghoon pulls out his own gun, pointing it at you. A mirror image. Did you make him worse? Or did he make you worse? You don't know. And you no longer care.

"Well, if I can't have you, no one will," Sunghoon glares at you.

"Not in my movie!" you scream.

You genuinely cannot tell who fires the gun first.

You can only hope it's you.

The End

author's note: if you like open endings, you may stop reading here. if you don't like them and are not satisfied with the uncertainty, keep reading for three possible endings i have in my head 🖤

Ending One: I hope you die first

Your whole body is shaking and your hands are covered in blood.

It's over. Sunghoon's dead. You really killed him. You can't believe it.

As you hear the police sirens surrounding you, you suddenly feel dizzy.

When the time for a trial comes, the court rules it was in self-defense. Considering how Sunghoon stalked and kidnapped you, the law is lenient towards you and you get away with a fine for owning an illegal gun. Well, having a cop friend also helps.

You spend the rest of your days surrounded by people you care about. Heeseung is always by your side, supporting you through everything. You can't imagine making it this far without him. And Sunoo serves his three years in prison. Once he's out of jail, he makes it his mission to make you forgive him. Slowly, he creeps back into your life. And you let him. Somehow time has eased the hurt from the betrayal.

There are happy moments, there are sad moments and then there are the moments when you just feel empty.

But the guilt and pain stay with you. Your forever companions. Sure, you are free from Sunghoon. But you can never be free from yourself.

Ending Two: I See Red

Sunghoon drops on his knees the moment he realizes what he's done. Fuck. You're gone. He killed you. The one and only being he truly loved. Or deluded himself into thinking he loves you. Perhaps you were right. Perhaps he wasn't even capable of it.

With no reason left to go on, he points the gun at himself, pulling the trigger. Maybe in another life, he'll do better. Maybe you'll meet again.

The cops and Jake at the crime scene they're immediately struck by the sight of the two bodies. Sunghoon's hand is reaching towards yours but your face is turned to the other direction. Even in death, you don't want to look at him. Alas, they came too late.

When Heeseung learns of your death, he is completely devastated and heartbroken. Miles and miles away, he cannot even get to your funeral on time. At first, he contemplates doing what your ex did to himself. But he knows you wouldn't want that from him.

So, he spends the rest of his life trying to help victims of abuse or kidnappings, aiding the police whatever way he can and organizing therapy sessions. It's not much, but he'd like to believe he's making a difference.

As time passes, the pain is still there, but diminishes in magnitude. Heeseung eventually finds comfort and love in the arms of his friend Jake. But a part of his heart stays there with you, in that cursed night.

Ending Three: Scream cause we wanna go faster

Both guns fire at roughly the same time. Both you and Sunghoon apparently suck at aiming them. You manage to injure each other, but nothing lethal. Seconds later, the police arrive, apprehending Sunghoon. The medics show up soon after and take care of you.

Sunghoon gets a life sentence for stalking, kidnapping and attempted murder. You don't visit him. Not even once. You don't want to see him, not even to gloat. That chapter of your book is over. Your only wish is to put it behind you for good.

Heeseung finds out about what happened right as his plane lands and he wants to return as soon as possible but you tell him to finish his work and then come back to you. Now, you will have all the time in the world.

"Welcome back, Hee," you greet him at the airport once he returns.

"My God, darling, I'm so glad you're okay," your boyfriend hugs you tightly, not wanting to let go ever again.

"Of course, I'm okay. I promised Jay we'd go on a double date with him and Jungwon, didn't I? And I always keep my promises," you tease.

"Damn right, you do," Heeseung laughs. "But seriously, just thinking about what might have happened, I feel sick."

"Well, let's just be glad it didn't," you kiss him deeply.

In another universe, maybe you're dead. In a different world, maybe Sunghoon died.

But this is your world. Your movie. And you just pressed play.

The End (for real this time)

[writing-blog-iguess]

Online matchup 11

Summery: Jason said he was going to be out of town, but that doesn’t stop Red Hood from checking in once in a while. But there are more pressing matters Y/n is dealing with, and Y/n has live with what they learned and they’re not sure how to handle it.

Warning: fluff I think, swearing, reader is having a crisis anyways. So is Jason.

A/N: I’m trying to get my rhythm back after everything went to shit, so I am starting with a new chapter of this. Hope you like it, it’s the only thing I finished before everything happened with my mother-in-law. And don’t worry, I still plan on posting the other ficus I promised, I’m just trying not to overwhelm myself. Also, this was 100% inspired the new arc of Batman: Wayne Family Adventures on webtoon

Ao3

Master list

Taglist: @teapartydreams @adorabluesposts

——————

March 14

Roy

So

How goes it with Jason?

Y/n

Why?

Why do you have the need to keep my number?

Roy

Because one day we will meet, and we will have to be friends

Y/n

Because of Jason?

Roy

Because of Jason

But this way, we can get ahead of the game

And I don’t have to pretend to like you for I will already like you when that day comes

Y/n

You’re so weird

Roy

Yeah but aren’t we all a little weird in our own way?

Y/n

I guess

Roy

So?

Answer my question

Y/n

So demanding

Just ask Jason

He is your friend

Roy

Yeah, but he doesn’t like talking about personal things while working

Y/n

So you’re going to get information from me?

What makes you think I’ll answer?

Roy

I could always ask Conner

Y/n

Why would he know about my relationship?

Roy

He’s dating your sister

And he is friends with with Tim

Y/n

Damn

You’re right

Roy

Always am

Y/n

Mm, I don’t think so

But things with Jason is good

We’ve aired out our worries and continue to see each other regularly

Roy

Good

Y/n

Why’d that feel threatening?

Y/n

Your friend Roy is something else

Jason

What?

When the fuck did you meet Roy?

Y/n

Um

Technically I haven’t physically met him

But Conner made a group chat the other week and he was in it?

And now he has taken to texting me

It’s wild

Jason

This was not how I wanted the two of you to meet

Y/n

It is what it is

My mom always said I needed more friends

Jason

I doubt this is how she wanted that to happen

Y/n

It is what it is

Don’t be too mad

Jason

I’m not

You guys were bound to meet eventually

Just not like this

Y/n

Yeah but that’s okay

I kind of like Roy

Though sometimes it feels like he’s threatening me when he talks

But other then that he’s okay

Jason

Nice to know that you have other options in the dating world if this doesn’t work out

Y/n

Okay I wouldn’t go that far

He’s nice and all

But I’m not the type of person to go after my ex’s best friend

Jason

I’m just saying

Y/n

So am I

Jason

I mean, there’s always Red Hood you could go after

Y/n

I have many regrets

And telling you my crush on him is the biggest one

Jason

I think it’s cute

Y/n

I think it’s unattainable

Jason

Mm

Maybe, maybe not

Y/n

What’s that suppose to mean?

Jason

Nothing you need to worry about

Y/n

Okay, well now I’m worried

Jason

Mm, well that’s to bad

On an unrelated note,

I might be a little distant for a bit

Got stuff I need to work on

So our dinner date has to be on pause till I get back.

Y/n

We had a dinner date?

Jason

I love how that’s your takeaway from that

Y/n

Well I mean

I feel like that’s something I would remember

Jason

...

I didn’t ask you, did I?

Y/n

That seems to be the case

Jason

Well, I guess I’ll have to ask you when I get back

Y/n

What?

Booo

**

There’s a thump outside your window that has you looking up from your book. You freeze, waiting for something to happen. When nothing happens, you go back to your book.

Before you can focus on the words, you hear something from beyond your window. Head snapping to it, you narrow your eyes as if you could see through it.

When the sounds kept coming, so did your curiosity. Sighing, you set the book down and pushed your blankets as you got off the bed to investigate.

Drawing the curtains open, you come face to face with someone you thought you'd never see again. You blinked a few times to see if you were seeing things. But you weren't and it was Red Hood that sat on your fire escape.

Opening your window, you leaned out to see what he was doing better. He wasn't injured but he was heaving. Like he was running from something.

"Come here often?" you asked once your assessment was done. You watched in amusement as he jumped slightly, hand hovering over his holster as he turned around

“Why are you awake so late at night?" he asked instead. You shrugged and rested your chin on your hand.

"Wasn't tired," you answered, eyes straying down to the streets below when you heard shouts. "So, I thought you usually fight thugs. You don't seem to be the hiding type."

Red Hood shrugged and relaxed, leaning back on the wall. "Don't really feel like fighting tonight. Figured Batman can have this one.”

"I thought you hated him," you said, surprised.

"Love hate relationship I guess."

Silence fell as you watched the Gotham night bustle with life, enjoying the sounds. "You hungry or something?" you asked, and could see the hesitation when he realized that he'd have to remove the helmet. "I can turn my back if you’re more comfortable with that," you suggested. At his nod, you stood and beelined to the kitchen. Once the food was plated and warmed, you grabbed a water bottle and walked back.

"It isn't much, but at least it's something,” you said as you handed the food over. He granted and you turned around. Sitting on the floor back leaning against the window. You heard the click and hiss coming from behind. Though you were curious to see what his face looked like, you promised not to peak.

"So, do you feed everyone who stops on your fire escape or am I just special?" he asked around a mouthful of food. Your checks warmed and was very glad that he couldn't see.

"Only the ones I like,” you teased.

"That implies you have visitors," he pointed out.

"And if I do?”

"Then you should be worried." You snorted, hugging your knees to your chest.

"I'm on the sixth floor. I don't know who would come to my window.”

“Didn't stop me.”

"Guess you’re just special."

"So, should I be worried once your boyfriend gets home?" Red Hood asked when there was a lull in the conversation. You hummed and rested your chin on your knees

"I don't think so,” you answered, "I live alone."

"So no boyfriend? Or girlfriend?"

"No girlfriend," you confirmed, "I'm not sure if he's my boyfriend.”

Jason's heart leapt in his chest, and he rubbed his chest with nerves. "Sounds complicated."

"Not complicated,” you hummed, "I mean, I would like to call him my boyfriend but we've been talking and we've been on a couple of dates. But we haven't talked about what we are. Which is fine, I don't need a label to tell me how I feel about him."

"How do you feel about him?" he asked when you trailed off.

"I really really like him. And I trust him a lot too, and I could see myself falling in love with him. I just need to trust myself, you know? I'm just afraid to fuck it up with him. Like, I have his heart in my hands and I'm afraid l'Il break it. His been through so much and I don't want to be added on to list of how I fucked it up."

Jason's heart went out to you, and could understand where you were coming from. He is on the same boat as you.

"Sounds like this is a conversation you need to have with him," he said, voice a little rough. He cleared his throat and you nodded. "Not with some vigilante." You let out a wet laugh, and wiped your eyes when you realized you were crying.

“Yeah, guess you're right," you said. "Sorry for putting that all on you. You might have some relationship problems of your own."

"I wouldn't say that," he muttered, and you could hear movement from behind you. Once you heard the familiar click, you moved to sit on your knees and turned around, leaning your forearms on the window sill. "Thanks for the food.”

"Wasn't much but thanks for listening to a random cizitians worries.”

“It's what we do," he said, getting a genuine laugh from you and Jason smiled.

One of his favourite sounds and he'll never get tired of it. He gave you a two finger salute and ran down the stairs.

You stood up and watched as he disappeared. You bit your lip to keep from smiling and leaned out the window to grab the dishes. He was an interesting person, you had to admit

And if you meet him again well you wouldn't be opposed to that.

And meet him you did.

Three days later, you're in your room finishing some homework when you hear a thud outside your window. Setting your books aside, you crawl off your bed and towards your window. You opened your window with a smile. “One would think you're here to- holy shit! Are you okay?" you exclaimed when you saw his bleeding arm.

Red Hood looked up and you could feel the scowl behind his helmet. "Are you ever sleeping?"

"Do you ever not get hurt while being a hero?" you shot back. He bristled and nodded in satisfaction when he didn’t respond. “Are you okay though? That looks like it hurts.”

“Fine,” he grunted, “just a graze.”

“Just a graze,’ he says while bleeding,” you mocked, giving him a look. "You've been shot at, forgive me if I don't believe you.”

"Believe what you like. I don't care."

"Well someone's grumpy," you said and opened the way. “Come, let’s get that fixed before you bleed to death.”

“Are you always this sarcastic?" he asked, but didn't move. You stepped back and put your hands on your hips and raised an eyebrow.

"I don't bite," you answered, and quirked your lip. "Unless asked."

"I'll take that as a yes," he said with a laugh. Shaking his head, he ducked through the window with a groan. "You don't strike me as someone who invites people over,” he said, looking around the room as he followed you.

“I'm not, this is just repaying you for saving my life a couple of months ago." You gestured towards the chair as you went to the bathroom. "Have a seat. I'll be back.” After rummaging through your bathroom, you found the first aid kit and came back to find Red Hood sitting with his jacket off.

You pulled a chair closer to him, and set the kit down before opening it. "It’s going to sting a bit," you warned, and he only grunted. "Okay then," you said and started cleaning the bullet wound. "Good news, you don't need stitches."

"Bad news?" he asked and you startled, not expecting him to say anything.

"It might scar but I doubt it."

“What’s one more scar?” he questioned and you eyed him after you taped the gauze. “What?”

“Nothing,” you said, averting your gaze back to his arm. You rolled down his sleeve, only to give your hands something to do. “Hurt anywhere else?”

“Nah, that was the best of it,” he said and crossed his arms. “Are you a nurse or something?”

“Or something,” you answered. You’re unsure how you know, but you know that he’s giving you a flat look. “Engineer student,” you said with a little wave. “I happen to get injuries a lot, and instead of going to the doctors, I learned to treat myself properly. It’s come in handy a few times.”

“So you know how to do stitches?”

You shook your head and leaned back into the chair. “In theory, sure. But I’ve never had to do them. I’ve always gone to the doctors if I need them.”

“Guess I could be your practice dummy,” he mused and you leaned over slightly to poke his side.

“Don’t even think about it,” you said, poking him again. To which he slapped your hand away. “I’m not going to be responsible for scaring Red Hood even more.”

“I think if it came from you, I think I wouldn’t mind.”

Flushing, you turned away from him and sniffed. “Well regardless, this is a one time thing. Don’t expect it to happen again.”

Except it did.

Over the course of the week, Red Hood would come by unexpectedly. Whether to hide out from his partners, or in need of a nurse that he felt safe coming to you or simply to talk to someone.

And each night you sat in your room, waiting. It was never the same time but always early enough that you wouldn’t be going to sleep late. Despite your messed up sleep schedule, Red Hood was determined to fix it.

And every night, your feelings grew a little more. But you never acted on them, your heart belonged to Jason, even if you hadn’t realized it yet.

March 22

Y/n (10:20 am)

So you know that crush I have on red hood?

Ellie

The one that you squashed after falling for Jason?

Yes I remember

Y/n

It came back full force

I think I’m in love

Ellie

Y/n I swear

It’ll go away eventually

And how?

You’ve never met him

Y/n

I’ve met him twice

Ellie

The only time you’ll meet a hero or whatever is if one you’re a criminal or two you need help

And I doubt it’s the first one

Y/n

Hey!

I can be a criminal if I wanted too

Ellie

Yeah but your too nice and in love to be one

Y/n

Touché

Anyways, I’ve meet him and the second time we’ve talked

He’s nice

Ellie

You can not fall for people who are nice y/n

That’s how you get hurt

Y/n

What about Jason?

Ellie

I think he’s different

The both of you have been hurt too many times and you both know that

So you’re taking the time to get to know each othere

Y/n

When’d you get so wise?

Ellie

Someone had to when you moved out

Y/n

Listen here you little shit

Ellie

I’m listening

Y/n

Asshole

Ellie

You know what would be funny?

If Jason turned out to be Red Hood

Ha! You fell for the same dude twice

Y/n

Why would you say that?

ELLIE

WHY

WHY

WOULD

YOU

SAY

THAT

Ellie

It’s a JOKE

Y/n

IT'S NOT A VERY FUNNY ONE

IT'S LIKE SAYING CONNER IS SUPERBOY

Conner (1:30 pm)

WHY WOULD YOU TELL ELLIE IM SUPERBOY

Y/n

It was a JOKE

It’s not like you actually are

Conner

…

Y/n

ARE YOU ACTUALLY

Conner

NO

Y/n

Holy shit

It was suppose to be a joke

Conner

NOT A REALLY FUNNY ONE

Y/N

You don’t say

Conner

Why’d you even say it anyways?

Y/n

She started it

Telling me that Jason could be red hood

And that I fell for him twice

Which is insane

Conner

Absolutely insane

Doesn’t have a reason to be him anyways

I mean RH is mean and not really a hero, you know?

Who shoots at people and almost kills them?

That's not Jason at all

Jason’s sweet and caring and the total opposite of RH

Y/n

…

I’m telling Jason you think he’s sweet and caring

Conner

I can see why he likes you

You’re both the same

Y/n

Sweet and caring?

Conner

Go away

Y/n

Nah

Your dating my sister

Your stuck with me forever

Conner

Or until we break up

Y/n

True

But then you'll die :)

Conner

somehow, that smiley face makes it worst

Y/n

:)

You hated your sister. Like sure, you love her and any given time you wouldn't mind talking to her. But at this moment while you were pacing your room. You really hated your sister.

You know what would be funny? . If Jason turned out to be Red Hood. Ha! You fell for the same dude twice.

You couldn't stop thinking about her words, and your curiosity ran too deep for you to leave it alone. You opened your laptop ready to go snooping on Batman's computer but you stopped yourself and started pacing.

"If Jason wanted me to know, he’d tell me, right?" you asked out loud. "But then again, he wouldn't tell me because he isn't Red Hood." Turning, you walked back, hands moving in front of you.

"But then again, if he was him then he had good reasons for not telling me." Turn, walk. "But if it is him, does that mean the whole family's a hero family?" you questioned and groaned. "Oh! That would make sense. All those nights helping his brothers with something.”

Turn, walk. “It would be so embarrassing if he was. All the things I said to Red Hood about Jason. And vide versa,” you said in realization. You stopped walking and covered your face with your hands. “The conversation I should have had with Jason instead of Red Hood. Plus I told him I had a crush on Red Hood! Oh no!

“And if he is actually Red Hood, it would be an invasion of privacy if I look into it.”

You stared at your laptop as you chewed your lip in thought. "Fuck it," you said, and dived onto the bed. Moving your laptop to your lap, you began typing away praying that Batman doesn't notice your presence.

Once entering the back door you created, you began your search. It didn't take long to find what you were looking for and you spent the next twenty minutes reading everything Batman had on Red Hood

You closed your computer and fell back onto your bed, covered your face with your hands in defeat. Why? Why couldn't you leave well enough alone? Why did you have to let your curiosity run wild? And why did you have to listen to your sister? Questions you didn't know the answers to, and none were important. There was only one that needed an answer.

What are you going to do now that you know the truth?

You couldn't talk to anyone about it, and the one person you could, doesn’t know that you know.

Sitting back down, you opened your laptop with the intention of getting rid of the backdoor to Batman's computer. Just as you were deleting it, something caught your attention.

Still not knowing better, you followed it and covered your mouth in shock.

The Joker was out, and he was on the hunt.

Y/n (2:23 am)

I hope your doing okay

[captainsophiestark]

History

Jack Thompson x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Written for my personal fic writing challenge for 2024, Sophie's Year of Fic! Featuring a new fic being posted every Friday, all year long :)

Fandom: Marvel

Summary: Jack's ex-fiance left New York and moved to LA to start fresh after she realized he would never see her as an equal. Now, however, their paths might be crossing again, and Jack Thompson's managed to have a lot of growth since the last time they saw each other.

Word Count: 5,152

Category: Angst, Fluff

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

I hummed to myself as I steeped my tea, soft music floating through the kitchen. I'd finished eating my favorite dinner before now preparing to settle in for my favorite radio program. A calm, perfect evening after a long day. All torn to shreds by the ringing of a phone in my living room.

I closed my eyes and sighed, but left my tea on its own and moved to answer the phone. Hopefully, whatever this was could be dealt with quickly, and I wouldn't miss any of my radio program.

"Hello?" I asked, resting the phone in the crook between my shoulder and neck and reaching for a pad and pencil, just in case. I froze mid-reach when I heard the voice on the other end of the line.

"Hey, uh, this is Agent Daniel Sousa. With the SSR. I don't know if you remember me-"

"Of course I remember you, Daniel," I broke in. "What do you want?"

He hesitated, and I couldn't help feeling just a little bad. My tone had turned from friendly to harsh in a split second, and Daniel and I had always been friendly. But if he was calling, it must've had something to do with my ex, and I certainly didn't want anything to do with that.

I'd met Daniel through the course of dating Jack Thomspon, who I later learned was actually Agent Jack Thompson. I'd met him when I was young and in love with the idea of being swept off my feet by a tall, handsome man, and Jack had more than fit the bill. It wasn't until much later, after he'd proposed and come home from the war, that I'd realized I wanted so much more.

I wanted a partner. Someone to have my back and build me up, to support me through life the same way I supported them. Jack wanted a maid that he could also sleep with, a picture perfect housewife with no external life or ambitions of her own. So I'd left him.

Before that, though, we'd gotten far enough that I'd found out about the SSR, and met Daniel in the process. We were friendly, and had even been on our way to being friends before everything between Jack and I had fallen apart. Since then, however, we hadn't spoken.

"...I'm sorry to do this to you, but I need your help."

Daniel's voice brought me back to the present. I sighed, sparing a longing glance for the tea in my kitchen before plopping down in the seat next to the phone.

"I assume this is about Jack? Is he... alright?" I almost choked on the word, surprised to find I actually still cared about the answer. I gripped the phone a little tighter as Daniel responded.

"Yeah, he's fine. Look, it's a long story, but we don't have a lot of time. There are some very bad people putting the fate of the world at risk, and I'm working with another agent to try to stop them. We have a plan we're in the process of enacting, but... we need your help to make sure it goes off without a hitch."

"Who's the other agent, Daniel?"

"Agent Peggy Carter. She's one of the best we have."

I paused. I'd been fairly confident he was about to say Jack, and to have him say a female agent's name instead was a nice surprise.

"Okay... but aren't you in New York? I don't know if you remember, but I moved pretty far away after things ended between Jack and I."

"And landed in LA, right?"

"...Yes... How did you-?"

"It's not important right now, just... how quickly can you get downtown? To the parking lot behind the hotel hosting Calvin Chadwick's campaign event?"

"Daniel, I haven't even said yes yet! I haven't talked to you in years, and I honestly don't think I want to get involved in this."

"I wouldn't be calling you if it weren't important. Meaning end of the world important. Please."

I paused, letting out a long, heavy sigh. I could practically hear Daniel waiting impatiently on the other end of the line, but I ignored the pressure. Unfortunatley for me, I believed that he really wouldn't be calling me if it weren't an emergency. And I didn't want to leave the world out to dry just because I didn't want to see Jack.

Which, also unfortunately for me, I knew this would involve. Daniel had very carefully danced around the subject of my ex-fiance, and I knew that dodginess was intentional. One way or another, Jack would be involved. But damn it all, I wasn't willing to blow off Daniel's cry for help on behalf of the world just to avoid Jack.

"...Fine. Dammit, fine. I can be there in fifteen minutes. I'm on my way."

"Thank you, serio-"

I hung up on him, giving myself one moment to relax back in the chair with a heavy sigh before launching into motion. I'd just have to make myself a new cup of tea when I got home, and ask someone at work tomorrow what I missed on my radio program.

Just under fifteen minutes later, I pulled into the back parking lot of the hotel hosting the campaign event. Carefully, I stepped out of my car, on high alert for a certain blond SSR agent. I whirled around at the sound of a door flying open only to find Daniel Sousa climbing out of an undercover van. He looked basically the same as the last time I'd seen him, although he'd apparently traded in his sweater vests for a Hawaiian shirt and a blazer.

"Thanks for coming," he said, crossing the parking lot to meet me. I nodded, my gaze going to the woman behind him. Daniel noticed my attention shift, and nodded to her. "This is Agent Peggy Carter."

"Pleasure, I'm sure."

I nodded and took Peggy's offered hand for a shake, but didn't say anything else as I quickly brought my attention back to Daniel.

"Alright, Daniel, why am I here? Specifically, not just 'to help'. And where's Jack? Don't try to tell me he's not here, you wouldn't have been so dodgy and nervous on the phone if he weren't."

"Dodgy and nervous?" Daniel asked, sounding more than a little offended. I just raised an eyebrow at him, so he sighed. "Fine. Here's the thing... we actually need you to go in there and distract Jack."

I didn't respond right away. I just stared at Daniel, waiting for him to say 'suprise' or 'gotchya' or some variation of the same thing. He just stared back, grimacing slightly. I finally came to the conclusion that he was being serious.

"I'll... pop back into the van and make sure Dottie and Mr. Jarvis are alright," Peggy said much too casually as she backed away from us. I never took my eyes off Daniel, my stare cooling considerably from when I'd first arrived.

"Daniel. Do you want to explain to me what's happening here, please? And why you need to distract a fellow agent, and especially why you think this is something you ought to be involving me in?"

Daniel sighed and ran a hand through his hair, then shifted slightly closer to me. He lowered his voice, then spoke again.

"Look, here's the thing. You should know Jack's had some growth since you left. He's changed enough that I can actually stand to work with him, and I might still say I want to kill him, but I probably wouldn't follow through if I got the chance anymore. But recently, he's got his head up his ass again."

I snorted. "I really hope this is not going to involve you asking me to talk to him or get him to come around or whatever."

"Not quite. Recently, he's decided to take the side of some pretty bad people, although I don't think he realizes just how bad. A few of those people are in that event tonight, and we have operatives inside who need to get something from one of them. But Jack's in there, too. And he'll recognize our operatives if he's aware enough to see them, and since he doesn't seem to know better, he'll stop them. We can't let that happen. Which is where you come in."

I stared at Daniel again, then after a moment, started shaking my head. I was frankly a little speechless, which gave Daniel an opportunity to keep talking before I could get a cohearant thought together.

"Look, I know this won't be easy for you. I know it's unfair of me to ask, to call you out of nowhere. And I know the only reason you showed up at all is because we used to be friends. But please, please do this. I promise it's important, and if it weren't this important, I never would've asked. I... I've been out in LA for a while now, and I thought about touching base, but I figured you'd want your space, since I'm probably tied up with Jack in memories for you. But we need your help with this one."

I shook my head, holding up a hand to stop Daniel's pitch.

"Alright. I came all the way down here, and because it's you asking and I know that means this thing you're involved in is actually, seriously important... I'll still help. But then you are not going to speak to me for at least a month, after dragging me into this mess to manipulate my ex-fiance, and then we're going to go to lunch. And you're paying, because it's ridiculous that you've been out here this long and haven't talked to me, noble intentions or not."

Daniel huffed a laugh, the corner of his mouth quirking up in a smile. "It's a deal. Promise."

"Great. So... where exactly am I going to do your dirty work?"

"Just in there," said Daniel, gesturing for a set of doors at the back of the hotel. I nodded and turned to face the doors in question, intending to head in. But for some reason, I couldn't make myself start moving. "Uh... you alright?"

I cleared my throat and nodded, although I knew I wasn't convincing either of us.

"Yes, yeah, I'm... I'm fine. Just gonna... go in there. And see Jack. For the first time in a few years."

"Hey." Daniel shifted closer to me, resting one hand on my shoulder and lowering his voice. I huffed and closed my eyes, but didn't pull away. "Look, I'm sorry to put you in this position... if you really don't think you can do it-"

"No. We're not going down that path. I know you wouldn't have asked me if it weren't a legitimate emergency, so I can't afford to think about an out. Just... maybe you could give me a push?"

I didn't turn to face Daniel, but even out of the corner of my eye I perfectly caught the judgey, raised-eyebrow look he gave me.

"Are you serious?"

"Daniel, I am about to go in there and distract my ex-fiance. I am dead serious."

"...Alright. You ready then?"

"No, I'm not! That's the whole point of requiring a push!"

"Okay, okay! Geeze."

A moment later, I felt Daniel's hand on my shoulder, gently moving me in the direction of the ballroom. It had nowhere near the amount of force I'd been hoping for, but the thought at least was enough to get me moving.

I crossed the parking lot at a steady pace, focusing on putting one foot in front of the other. I pushed open the door to the ballroom without letting myself hesitate, striding through without looking back. I tried to ignore the sound of it slamming shut behind me as I strode confidently into the room, head held high despite the warring storm of emotions swirling in my gut. It took every ounce of strength I had to walk into that ballroom, but somehow I managed it.

And then I saw him.

I wasn't sure what I'd been expecting, but the moment I saw Jack, my heart stopped in my chest and my knees threatened to give out. So much history stood between us, and even though we'd ended on fairly bad terms and I knew I'd made the right decision, my heart still couldn't completely ignore everything we'd been through. Everything he'd meant to me.

I took a deep, shaky breath. Apparently, a lot of the world was counting on me keeping Jack from interfering in whatever Daniel had going on tonight. I'd agreed to come in here, and now I couldn't afford to fall apart.

I squared my shoulders, then strode across the ballroom, past dancing couples and schmoozing politicians. Everything faded away the closer I got to Jack, until I was standing next to him, just out of his peripheral vision, and we were the only two people in the world.

I reached out a hand to tap Jack on the shoulder, and time nearly stood still. He turned towards me in slow motion, and I watched his face go from one slightly raised eyebrow to wide-eyed, gut-punched shock. The moment our eyes met seemed to stretch for years, until Jack finally broke it, saying my name in a breathy voice that shouldn't have been audible over the sounds in the rest of the ballroom. Surprisingly, I didn't have to fake the slight smile pulling at the corner of my mouth.

"Hey, Jack," I breathed. He blinked at me a few times, maybe expecting me to disappear like some hallucination. When I didn't, he managed to find his voice again.

"Wh... what are you doing here?"

"I feel like I could ask you the same question," I said, voice soft. Speaking anywhere near normal force or volume felt like it would shatter something about the peace of the moment, or bring our problems back to the forefront of our minds. "I thought you were still in New York."

"I was. Am. Still in New York, that is. I, uh... they made me Chief."

My eyebrows shot up. Daniel hadn't bothered to mention that.

"Wow. Well... congratulations. When did that happen?"

"A little over a year ago," he said, shrugging his shoulders and glancing away like it was nothing. I knew him much too well for it to fool, me, though. He was beyond proud, and he wanted me to be impressed.

"That's great, Jack," I said, not entirely sure whether I meant it. "So is that what brings you out here?"

"Something like that," he huffed. He shook his head, staring off at the wall of the bar, apparently snapping out of the moment we'd found ourselves in with something else hovering over his head. It didn't bother me to be a part of that something, although maybe it should have.

"I take it this is more of that highly-classified, highly 'over my head' stuff you always refused to talk to me about?"

Jack's eyes slid back to mine, looking genuinely sad in a way I hadn't expected. Honestly, I'd been expecting to spark some anger. Instead, he looked like I'd just punched him in the stomach.

"I... wasn't great at communicating with you back then, was I?"

I snorted. "That's an understatement."

Jack sighed and took a sip of his drink, nodding slowly.

"Yeah. Yeah, it probably is. Look, I don't know why you're here right now, but..." He cut himself off abruptly, glancing away from me again with a shake of his head. I raised an eyebrow, just waiting for him to work up the courage to say what he wanted to say. The longer he took, the easier it was for me to help Daniel with whatever this was, anyway. Jack took a deep breath, shot the rest of his drink, and set the glass down on the bar before looking at me again. "I was gonna look you up, while I was out here. I've been putting it off, because, well, I wasn't sure you'd want to see me. But... since you're here now...?"

I started shaking my head. I couldn't help it. Jack, apparently undeterred, stepped forward and took my hands in his. I wished I could say helping Daniel was the only reason I let him.

"You hate me. I get it, alright? But I'm not the same man I was the last time I saw you."

"Oh really, Jack? Then what kind of man are you now?" I asked, unable to stop myself. "What are you doing here, schmoozing at some party with a bunch of shady guys in suits? How different is that to the last time I saw you?"

"Very different! Listen, I get it now. I understand what you wanted from me, and I understand why you left. You wanted respect, and I... I wasn't willing to give that to you."

I frowned, scanning Jack's face for any hint of inscenserity or rehearsed speech. All I found was an honest, open expression staring back at me, my ex-fiance looking more open and interested in talking about the hard stuff than he'd been once in the time we were together.

"But sweetheart," he continued, after a brief pause to let his words sink in. I met his gorgeous blue eyes that I'd fallen in love with so long ago, and a hand clenched around my heart. "I get it now. And... I want a shot at giving you that respect, knowing what I know now. Being who I am now."

I huffed a disbelieving laugh, shaking my head as I broke Jack's intense stare.

"Jack... are you kidding me right now?"

"Not even a little bit." He squeezed my hands lightly, stepping even closer to me. The hand around my heart dug its claws in. "I... I love you. I never stopped loving you. If you give me a second chance... I promise, I won't screw this one up."

A choked sob forced its way out of my mouth as the room started spinning under me. I pulled my hands away from Jack, shaking my head fervently as I did.

"I... You can't... I can't think about this right now. After everything you can't just..." I huffed, shaking my head again and moving out of the way as Jack reached for my hands again.

"Baby-"

I turned on my heel and ran before he got another word out. Hopefully, that was good enough for Daniel and his friends. One way or another it would have to be. I couldn't stay there for another second, and it was starting to feel like it'd been a mistake to come in the first place.

I'd been expecting some slightly charged conversation, maybe even some arguing. Breaking off an engagement wasn't usually amiable, and our situation had been no exception. I hadn't been expecting to see real pain on his face, or real regret, or real love still lingering there. And I definitely hadn't expected to feel the faintest hint of the same emotions in my own chest.

Whatever the hell that meant, I couldn't face it right now. Not when I was standing in that ballroom in the first place to trick and lie to the man giving me the apology I'd wanted for years before finally excepting I'd never get it. The guilt started creeping in like a knife to the heart, another thing I hadn't been expecting.

I didn't check to see if Jack was following me as I headed straight for the parking lot, back out the door I'd come in. A thousand different emotions and thoughts screamed through my head, and the only thing that seemed clear was that I needed to get as far away as possible from here, now.

"Hey!"

I don't know why I hadn't been expecting to run into Daniel, but I'd barely gotten a breath of the cool night air in before he called out to me, moving quickly from the back of their undercover van to where I'd parked my car.

"Hey! Are you okay? We didn't mic you up, but one of our agents inside said they saw you running out-"

"This was a bad idea, Daniel," I said, shaking my head and pausing to talk only because Daniel was in the way of the driver's door of my car. "I shouldn't have agreed to this. I didn't... I don't know what I expected. The same asshole I broke up with, I guess. An argument. Not... not what I got."

I moved to push past him, but he put a hand on my shoulder to stop me in my tracks. His eyebrows knit together as he scanned me up and down, concern radiating from him in waves.

"What happened in there? Are you okay?"

I shook my head. "It was a mistake to get in the middle of this, with you and him. He said some stuff... I don't know. I don't know, okay? This was stupid, I should've just stayed home. I need to go home, Daniel. So please, get out of my way."

Daniel hesitated again, looking me over, this time with a more critical eye. I huffed.

"I promise I'm not hurt, and that I'm fine to drive, alright? I just... I need to get out of here."

After another second, Daniel finally nodded and stepped out of my way. I didn't bother sparing him another glance as I got into my car and pulled away, putting as much distance as possible between me and Jack and everything to do with that ballroom.

When I got home, I replayed the conversation I'd had with Jack over and over again in my head, on an endless loop. I didn't hear another word from Daniel, or from Jack, which I tried to convince myself was for the best. When the radio silence stretched on for days, however, my arguments to myself became less and less convincing, and every additional day of silence was another day to overthink myself into a frenzy. Had something gone wrong with whatever world-ending threat they were dealing with? Did something bad happen to one or both of the SSR boys? Or was there some other reason the SSR agents continued to give me space?

By the end of the week, I'd just about decided to go track down Jack or Daniel or maybe Peggy, although I'd only met her in passing, myself. Finding a secret agency probably wouldn't be easy, but I'd been reeling and replaying everything in my mind for days, and I couldn't go back to pretending none of them had ever been part of my life again. I'd just started flipping through a phone book over my morning coffee, looking for any businesses that looked like feasible fronts for the SSR, when someone rang my doorbell.

I sighed, marking my spot in the phone book before standing and moving to the door, my cup of coffee in-hand. I almost dropped my favorite mug when I opened the door to find Jack standing on my doorstep in a nice suit, holding a bouquet of roses.

"Before you say anything, Sousa's the one who gave me your address. So if you didn't want to see me... blame him."

I couldn't hold back a laugh, at least half the weight on my chest lifting off with the knowledge that Jack and Daniel were both okay. I bit my lip, trying to keep control of myself, as I looked Jack over.

"I... I'm really glad you're okay," I finally sighed. "When I didn't hear from you for a while, I got a little worried..."

"We had... some stuff to deal with. But it's dealt with now. I'd love to come in and tell you about it... if you'd be willing to have some company for breakfast."

My eyes shot up to Jack's. He tried to look calm and collected, but I could see the way his hands fidgeted around the stems of the flowers, and the way his eyes searched my face for any sign of an answer in either direction. I sighed.

"Listen, Jack... I don't know..."

"Alright, look. I'm technically supposed to be leaving for the airport to catch a plane back to New York in about half an hour. But I also got Sousa to agree to let me stay with him for a while, if... if I need to stay in LA for a bit longer, for whatever reason. But if you don't want me here, if it's too little too late for you..." He clenched his jaw, swallowing hard and steeling himself before continuing. "Then I'll head to the airport and get out of your hair. And I won't bother you again."

I pinched the bridge of my nose, looking down and shaking my head to try to clear it. I'd sworn to myself when I moved out here that I wouldn't let Jack Thompson back into my life. I'd been confident it was for the best. But he really did seem different than he had the last time I'd seen him. And I couldn't ignore the way my heart still skipped a beat when I looked at him, or how badly I wanted to believe what he'd told me in the ballroom.

Finally, I looked back up at Jack. I met his ice blue eyes, the same ones I'd been staring into since we were basically kids, before he'd served in Japan and a thousand other things in our lives had changed. And I knew I couldn't send him away without at least hearing him out. I knew it might mean I got hurt again, badly, but I also knew the regret of never knowing for sure would eat me alive for the rest of my life.

"Jack... there's something you should know first."

"And that is?"

"It wasn't fate that brought me to the ballroom, or whatever else you thought it was. I... was actually there because Daniel called me to ask for my help."

Jack sighed. "I know. He and Carter told me. They seemed to have a guilty conscience about it. But I'll tell you what I told them: I don't care. It brought you back into my life, so... I'll take it."

The corner of my mouth tugged up again, and I tried not to let the excitement take over too much as Jack leaned a little forward.

"So... does that mean I can come in?"

I bit my lip again in a failed half-attempt to stop the smile rapidly spreading across my face. Finally, I let it win, and gave Jack a nod.

"Oh, thank god," he sighed, sagging and flopping over the doorframe, the flowers falling to his side for a moment until he looked back up at me. "You really had me thinking I was gonna have to race to make my plane for a minute there, sweetheart."

I laughed and shook my head, taking the flowers from Jack as I motioned for him to come inside. I shut the door behind him, then turned to lead him from the entryway into the kitchen.

"So... do you want some coffee?" I asked, moving to the pot before Jack answered. I knew he did.

"That'd be great." He paused, and I heard him sit at the table himself me as I added sugar and milk the way I knew he liked (although he'd never ask anybody else to add it in). "This place looks great."

"Thanks. It's been a labor of love, for sure. I learned how to fix just about everything in here that could break, since it started out that way."

I shot Jack a little smile as I sat down at the table across from him, sliding his coffee over. The statement was a test, and whether or not he knew it, he smiled back.

"If only you'd known all that stuff when we were in our old place. Maybe you could've saved me from breaking the sink beyond repair."

"If I remember right, I did try to help with that. And you told me to let you handle it while I made something nice for dinner."

Jack grimaced, taking a sip of his coffee. "Yeah. I do remember that. And... I'm sorry. I was an idiot back then. I wish I'd known then what I do now."

I nodded thoughtfully. He seemed sincere, which truly might've been a miracle-level personal shift. I still tried to keep my hopes from running wild, but it was getting harder by the minute.

"Thanks for the coffee, by the way," he continued. "I haven't had anything this good since... well, in a long time."

I gave him a rueful smile as he bailed out of "since you left". I sighed, taking a sip of my own coffee before looking at Jack again.

"So... why don't you tell me about all this stuff that kept you from visiting earlier? When I talked to Daniel, he said it was end of the world-level."

Jack nodded, running his hand through his hair. "I mean, it sure wasn't good. Might've been one of the worse things we've had to deal with. You're gonna like this though, since we saved the day. One of my best agents who helped solve all this stuff is a woman. Peggy Carter, she said she met you?"

"Only briefly," I said, smiling into my coffee. "She seemed pretty cool."

"She's damn good at her job. And so were you, by the way. You covered for her and Sousa perfectly when you showed up at that fundraiser. It took one of the people you were covering for walking straight into my path for me to realize something was up, and even then I didn't suspect you. Masterclass."

I huffed a laugh, but my smile grew so big I couldn't hide it behind my coffee mug anymore. Jack smiled back.

"Alright, so, this is kind of a long story. Especially if I start from the beginning."

"I want to hear all of it," I decided. "If you're up for it... including the stuff that came before this mission. I want to know about what you've been up to since... since I left."

Jack nodded, a hopeful smile pulling its way onto his own face. I could see him wrestling with himself to keep his cool, and I was happy to see him losing.

"Deal. As long as you promise to tell me everything you've been up to once I'm done."

"Sounds like we have a wonderful plan for the morning," I replied. Jack absolutely beamed back at me.

"I've never been happier to miss a flight in my life."

I laughed, and for a moment, I got a glimmer of the parts of my life with Jack that had made me stay for so long. His humor, and all the good in him that he worked to hide, but now, without the layer of separation that came from him not seeing me as an equal.

It had barely been ten minutes total of time spent with this slightly older, slightly different Jack Thompson. By far too early to say anything difinitively. But that little seed of hope in my chest had bloomed into a full bouquet since I'd opened my door this morning, and I couldn't help feeling that this time, things actually were different. Jack was different. And this time, maybe things would work.

****************

Everything Taglist: @rosecentury @kmc1989 @space-helen

Marvel Taglist: @valkyriepirate @infinetlyforgotten @sagesmells @gaychaosgremlin

[scekrex]

Adam X Male Reader. Who's been cheated on, in the past and is slowly starting to trust Adam more as time goes on.

Okay okay okay hear me the fuck out: they both struggle bc both Lilith and Eve left him and they both had something with Lucifer (Eve presumably cheated - in this fic it's implied that both cheated on Adam to spice things up a lil)

There's a darkness at the heart of my love, that runs cold, runs deep

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language, hurt, cheating (mentioned)

note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers

When Adam decided to play a role in your silly little afterlife and you realized that you wanted him in a way that you’ve only ever wanted one person before, the sweet taste of your platonic relationship soured. You had developed feelings for the first man, that you couldn’t deny any longer, but you hated yourself for it - because who were to promise you that he wouldn’t fuck with someone else while dating you like your ex partner had done? The only person who could do so was Adam, yet you had learned the hard way that many promises people made - winner or human didn’t matter - were empty.

They told you what they thought you wanted to hear to simply get their way and while you wanted to trust Adam, and maybe your heart already did trust his sugar coated words, your mind strongly disagreed and doubted every little promise spoken by him - not just by him though, your mind told you that every promise was just a bunch of empty words, that way you were keeping yourself safe, you protected yourself from getting hurt again.

Adam, on the other hand, felt similar. He had been cheated on twice, back in his early days as a human, back when he had blindly trusted Lucifer’s and Lilith’s words, back in Eden when Eve had promised him that she and Lucifer were just friends. But they had been so much more than just that - just friends weren’t fucking each other. The two women that had been created for him and only him had turned against him and chosen someone else, why shouldn’t you do the same? God had never truly intended for Adam to date guys, hadn’t he? Yet you were there and Adam wanted nothing more than to call you his. But surely a person who wasn’t even meant for him would leave him just like the women did that God had created for him. They had been meant to love and desire him, but they hadn't done so. They had crushed Adam’s heart, shattered it into pieces and stepped on the shards until it had been nothing but dust. And then you had been so quick to glue the tiny pieces back together, you had fixed something deep inside of him without even knowing it but there was the risk of losing you again - he told himself that if he’d keep himself distanced, it wouldn’t hurt as much. That was bullshit though and deep down he knew that.

And then there was Lute, she was not only Adam’s lieutenant and best friend, she was also the self claimed couple therapist Adam and you desperately needed. So when the three of you sat in the living room of the house you and Adam shared, and Lute waited for one of you to begin talking, you took that chance, “What if his promises of staying forever and not fucking someone else are empty?” You felt a little bad, voicing your thoughts so harshly with Adam sitting right next to you and you noticed how he flinched a little at your words, how his wings rose a little to hide himself behind them. Lute tilted her head a little, “Why would they?” And to that you had no answer so you remained silent while Adam’s curious eyes were watching you carefully from the side. “I’ve known Adam for a long while now,” Lute continued, she gently placed a hand on your knee and your eyes met hers. There was honesty in those golden orbs of hers, honesty and made your concerns seem so unwarranted. “He has never looked at someone the way he looks at you,” you turned your head towards the first man, the man mumbled something inaudible but nodded - he was not used to being so vulnerable, to talk about his fears openly. “What if he fucking finds someone like Lucifer and decides to fucking drop me like those whores of ex-wives did?” Lute sighed as she pinched the bridge of her nose, “Look at him, he’s seen your crybaby tantrums and yet decided to stay - he’s not gonna leave Adam.” And while Lute’s words were true and both of you logically knew that the other wouldn’t cheat because they know what it’s like to be on the other end of it, it wasn’t that easy to change an entire mindset.

It would take a lot of time and work, even more energy to fix the both of you. But you and Adam were willing to work this through. Together, side by side and hand in hand. And maybe one day the both of you wouldn’t have to struggle with that fear anymore, today was not that day though.

[xbruised-peachx]

could i get some soft gromsko hcs 🥺 sorry i keep seeing ones where hes a misogynist (untagged so it triggers me from a past relationship) and i much prefer your interpretation where he's caring but still confident

Aww 🫂🫂🫂 I'm sorry Anon, I'm actually in the same boat as you, my bad relationship ended exactly a year ago so yeah.

Everyone's allowed to have their own interpretation and all that fun stuff but I absolutely agree, I can't see him like that. Talking to my Polish friends about it, it's just not his generation and it's a very tired trope of "misogynistic, loud slavic man" they are not too happy seeing. For me, it's almost a bit of an American trope that is "loud and boisterous=asshole", which I dislike as he has multiple lines IN GAME that shows him as caring and you know... nice (ex. Czasami trzeba się poświęcić dla innych (sometimes you must sacrifice yourself for others), You're not dying yet!, Trzymać się (hold on) the surgeon is coming, I was proud to fight with you!, I am your wingman, etc). Not to mention you know... HE'S A MEDIC or at the very least "extensive medical training" as stated in his bio.

So yeah, I'll happily give you some nice, loud and proudly in love Gromsko headcanons, Anon💚

Tags: fem!reader, pure tooth rotting fluff, alcohol mention for the last point

Gromsko always has his arm around you in public. He wants the world to know how lucky he is to have you. He still has some slight guilt in his head about showing PDA from getting glares from various babcias back home, but he can't help it when he sees you, beautiful eyes looking back at him with such adoration. He has to show it back somehow.

Often, he'll just settle for hand holding (before marriage? Scandalous) as you guys walk around. He'll watch you as you interact with employees, you asking for help as his thumb runs over your knuckles, running along the back of your hand. Even if you get nervous talking to employees, his touch reminds you he's right there if you need him, and that he's more than willing to help if needed.

You getting disrespected sets him off in a whole new way. Instantly, he'll step in front, asserting his height advantage he often has, looking down at them with contempt that they would even dare speak to you like that. "Want to repeat that?" His voice coming out as low and threatening, booming around the room. When they inevitably leave you both alone, his attention goes right back to you, gently cupping your face as you look up to him as he asks if you're okay. You smile and nod, telling him a soft thank you. You can practically see his heart melt as he looks back, eyes softening and a gentle smile on his face, taking your hand and continuing like nothing happened.

Though he learned some cooking from his grandma, he has fond memories of watching Robert Makłowicz with his mom during weekends, making the recipes for dinner. When he found out Makłowicz has a YouTube channel, the two of you went on a deep dive for hours, cuddling on the couch and him translating for you when he started laughing or just said something nice, and thought it'd be nice to share. He also showed a few older clips, particularly this one of him and a dog and now the two of you have the little inside joke going "EHEHEHEHE" at small, cute things.

He often cooks for you, even wanting to take care of you like that as well. He doesn't mind the help but he takes quite a bit of pride in his cooking. He loves when you come up behind and just hug him while he's at the stove. For him, that plus you smiling as you eat a meal from him is the greatest reward.

Every injury is an emergency to him, often taking huge precautions even for little things. The house is never out of band-aids or antibiotic ointment. Even stubbing your toe will have him running out of whatever room he's in, stopping what he's doing to make sure you're okay.

He is the best to have around during the time of the month. He'll make some good iron rich foods, but still get you whatever snacks you want. He may want to take care of you physically but he knows part of health is mental too, and that he can't force something on you when you are craving something else. He makes sure heating pads are ready along with a nice comfortable spot in bed. He isn't overbearing though, as he knows sometimes you just need space. He knows that when you need him, you'll let him know. Often you have fallen asleep, head in his lap with a heated stuffed animal hugged to your chest. He'll carry you to the much more comfortable bed with ease, watching you at peace with a smile on his own face as he'd go back, cleaning up any snack wrappers in the living room, turning off any electric heating pads that might have been left on. He may join you for a nap eventually, but he'll leave you at peace for now.

Being used to waking up for the military, he wakes up before you, and he really doesn't mind. The warm glow of the sun rising as your lips are parted, gently breathing. His arm around you, he can feel the gentle rise and fall, your heart beat calm against him. He could look at you like this for hours, going back in forth in his head questioning how he got so lucky but also not wanting to question it, instead to just enjoy this quiet morning. Birds chirping, he wants to get up and make some coffee for you but he doesn't want to leave you in this moment... not now or ever.

He loves animals... all of them. Often, if he sees a random animal in the street, he'll call out to it instinctively in Polish, often leaving a poor hedgehog stunned in the streets, unsure what to do about this giant heading towards them. He loves going to the shelter with you, seeing big dogs go from barking to wagging their tail, wanting to get out to play, and going to cat rooms to sit for a while, playing with all the cats, young and old. Old cats flock to him like no other and he always imitates their crispy meows. Seeing him hold a kitten that easy fits in his hands, curling up into a ball as he holds it against his broad chest, gently petting its head with two of his fingers... it warms your soul.

He is a very affectionate drunk. He'll be stumbling down the streets, goofy grin on his face as he hugged on you for balance. If any even breathes in your direction, positive or negative, he'll be calling out to them, "HEJ! To moja dziewczyna... GO!" (Hey, that's my girlfriend) You often end up apologizing to whoever it is, his slurred speech being the answer for why. When you get home he'll often just keep repeating how beautiful you are while snuggled in your chest for once. Looking up at you, you see that look of disbelief in his eyes, but quickly returning to just bliss as he remembers you belong to each other. Snoring like a bear buried deep, he knows absolute comfort knowing you'll be there for each other for the inevitable hangover the next morning.

[mores0]

Okay, so, buckle in because I have so much to say about the first episode of Psych, and I already know that this post is going to be extremely long, haha.

So first of all, season one is one of Psych’s best seasons in my opinion, and the first episode is one of my favorites. It’s just so good. And it’s crazy how even though it’s James Roday and Dulé Hill’s first episode, they act like they’ve already known each other and been friends for years- their chemistry is amazing right off the bat.

And Shawn and Gus’ characterizations in this episode are amazing, because as the show goes on they really got watered down, but in this episode- it was amazing. Shawn in this episode was so- I don’t know if this is the right word- but angsty, I guess. And I kind of like it honestly. Lassiter’s ex partner was like “You never know when to give up, don’t you?” And he said something like “Oh, I give up all the time, but only when the moment’s right,” or something like that, and as a “gifted” kid, I felt that. Lmao. And- there’s more that I want to talk about- but I’ll come back around to it later- hang in there.

And Gus is the best. I am Gus on a spiritual level. He has anxiety, (which is actually confirmed because he takes anxiety medication apparently, I didn’t know that). He says that he doesn’t want any part of what Shawn was doing, but he secretly wanted to so bad and Shawn knows that, and said all the right things to give Gus the push he needed to just go for it. And he was having the time of his life, even if he said that he wasn’t. Even when he was running away from the dead bodies screaming, which definitely would’ve been me in that situation, lmao. And then when Shawn solved the case and they were both let go, he had the smuggest little smile on his face, because he knew that Shawn could do it. “Just one more day.” Yeah right, he knew fully well that he was going to do it with Shawn for as long as possible lmao, you’re not fooling anybody.

And then there was Henry and Shawn’s dysfunctional father-son relationship- which even in the first episode is very prominent. And that’s literally how the show started- first scene ever, and it was Shawn doing the hat thing and Henry saying “yeah, that’s adequate.” That pisses me off haha, sorry to everyone who likes Henry. I respect that and can definitely see why people would feel that way- but I just don’t like him very much, haha. Additionally, Shawn didn’t even know that his dad had already been back for a year or so, and they didn’t seem too happy to see each other again which was rough. And later on when Shawn did the hat thing again and even like, noticed things that Henry didn’t, he smiled for a second, which Shawn seemed to be happy about and they could’ve had a moment before Henry ruined it by saying something like “Whatever, you got lucky,” and how he was a disappointment, etc, and then they went back to being angry at each other, which is their main issue I think. Shawn wants Henry’s, I don’t know, approval. He wants that “good job,” but Henry doesn’t want to give it.

And then there’s Lassiter and Shawn’s talk about his arrest, and Shawn brought up that his dad did that so that he could teach him a lesson, so Lassiter was like “Well did you learn it?” And Shawn replied, “I learned that I hated my father.” Which fucking hit me so hard lmao. But then- there’s another scene later on which nobody talks about where Shawn is talking to Mr.McCallum about how he was familiar with disappointing his dad, and how McCallum killed his son, and Shawn spoke about how it was because his son kept letting him down time and time again, before saying that he’d change and he’ll be different, but then just let him down again and how it was the needle that broke the camel’s back- and he was so obviously talking about himself, and that scene was just so raw. I’m losing my mind over it.

Also, I loved officer Allan so much even though she only got, like, two scenes, haha. I wish that she got more than one episode. And it was weird not to see Juliet in this one, haha.

Anyways, there’s so many other scenes that I love, like the shooting range scene, the scene with the guy sneezing on the chicken, Shawn showing Gus the office, Shawn telling the guy to get rid of the shards on his sleeves only for him to brush them onto his leg and boot. Shawn pretending to be Psychic for the first time and working through it. Basically, the entire episode, lmao.

And, yeah, that’s everything I have to say I think. And if you could leave your own thoughts in like, the comments/ a reblog, that would be really cool. Have a nice day. (And sorry that this is so long, lmao).

[ladysomething]

rushed back home. pretty sure I broke like 7 different basic driving rules from the driver manual in my country that even kids are aware of. also my best friend says he's never letting me drive ever again. he also says you're kinda a mastermind. I may not have a driver license for tomorrow, or a car to drive, but I do have new hatred and also a new level of crush (ness? English-is-not-my-first-language moment) for Max Verstappen. and my brother as well. he also pleged alliance and eternal honor to you, Madds.

5+1!!!!

1. honestly Charles, I get you. cramps are how some criminals should be punished. make them suffer for their wrongs. make them regret ever living. make them feel pain for comitting their crime. (says the lawyer. at this rate, for tomorrow I will loose not one but TWO licenses. who cares)

2. as stated beforehand, the Max crush that you've been cooking in me with this fic is absolutely massive. gigantic. astronomical. and let me tell you something. Max taking care of Charles during his pre-heat melted me. my ex boyfriends should learn from him, because that's the bare minimum and yet they didn't do shit. and Charles here has this lovely dumb idiot (affectionate) while he hates him. honestly goals. where do I buy one.

3. I kinda understand why Max distanced himself from Charles. sorta. actually barely. but the guilt trip that my man has to be going through has to be though. what reminds me

4. FUCK MATTHEW AND FUCK LANDO AND FUCK THE DOCTOR WHOSE NAME IS NOT WORTH OF ME TO REMEMBER. oh and FUCK FERRARI AND FUCK MCLAREN AND FUCK EVERYONE. GO TO HELL PIECES OF SHIT. yeah, that's it I think. my poor baby Charlie (IBEIDNDOSNDLSBDOWHEODIAJS I went batshit with that. just so you know. worried Max might be my favorite Max. maybe slightly behind horny, protective and obedient Max) did NOT deserve that and everyone should rot in the darkest pit of hell for that. no less. cramps for you all.

5. we love Jean-Luc in this house. that was the resolution the three of us got to. my man deserves a cold pillow on both sides, a cup of tea and the chance to see his family anytime and to be happy forever. please don't make me hate him, I love him too much.

+1. if you've told me at the beginning of the year that I would be eating dinner with both my brother and my roomie while we were reading a quite explicit Lestappen omega verse fi in TV, no less, I would've not only not believed you. but died of shame or something like that. my yearly choice of a dead dove do not eat fic (I've been learning about tags!!!) has united this household. who would have thought that.

+2. Max is down BAD. but you know what, so is Charles. they really are exactly like the other. when Charles said that he was feeling lonely all I could think of is how Max said the exact same. and the hospital part had me kicking my feet, jumping around excitedly. then I alarmedly had to go all the way up to see in which chapter we were. and after, I just felt scared. chapter 16 is my worst nightmare it seems. how funny.

+3. hun, how has been your hand? I hope you're feeling better 🩷 as much as I love weekly uptades I can't help but feel worried that you might push your hand a lot. the chapter was absolutely lovely but remember to rest please 🙏🏼 speaking on my behalf and the other two readers' (and I hope everyone else's) we don't want you to be hurt, regardless of the fic.

thank you for the early uptade, even if now I'm a reckless driver to my country's police. at least I didn't read it while I was working. I don't know how I could've managed that.

I will take eternal allegiance wherever I can get it. I am making men kneel before me, one at a time, and so I'm glad to add two more to my collection.

cramps as a form of punishment .... you get it.

no because that whole heat sequence with Max .. melted me. he's so written by a woman coded in this fic (which you'd hope. considering he is. lmao)

he's hurt!!! he's sad!!! Max is going through a phase right now ok

the doctors name is Leo, and funnily enough Charles got Leo the same week that chapter came out and I was like ... Charles reads wygig confirmed

THIS IS A JEAN-LUC STAN ACCOUNT and honestly????? I love that you all love him. maybe he should get his own fic one day. who knows.

+1. the war being over because you've bonded over the lestappen war .... there's something so cosmic about that.

+2. everyone being on the edge of their seats for 16 ... god I'm good.

+3. thank you for the well wishes! it's wayyyyy better now, thank god.

p.s. I think maybe your brother and your roommate would riot if you read it at work without them sooooo

[icharchivist]

dgm 249 spoilers, thoughts as i'm reading

(im using a french translation as of now)

-One Shot Kill on the first page

"After having been with his friends only for a moment while eating at his heart's content, he felt a little bit of happiness" fucking crying in the club

-Johnny still MVP

-Tiedoll has patrons??? he has a luxury mansion somewhere because he has patrons????? wow talk about the dream life. -Allen: you have patrons? woah just like Cross's mistresses Tiedoll: EX-FUCKING-CUSE ME. what an exchange, i wanted to make a joke about tiedoll being a boytoy and i held back and for what? for Allen to walk into this one on his own???

-BABIESST BOYYYYY

-serving cunt.

-Oh Allen actually shared SOME of what happened with Nea with the gang???? actual growth oh my god he's aCTUALLY trying not to shoulder everything on his own for once. even if he didn't share everything, that's already progress

-secret library? secret library time? like archivist time? like bookm- 👀 -A DEADLY LIBRARY???? next arc made for me--

-"Just show them Timcanpy as a proof that you're trustworthy" OUTCH?????????

-Johnny: "i don't know if we should go there. It seems dangerous..." Kanda: "don't worry. everywhere you'll go with the beansprout will be dangerous anyway." Johnny: ". Fair but outch??" this is so funny to me please. Kanda really was just "why would you worry about a deadly library's danger when just being with Allen is danger enough"

-THIS PANEL RULES forget what's written i'm still in denial about Nea taking over

-oghhh pretty

-love that Kanda can't get along with anyone, go bitch give us nothing

-OGHH PRETTY

-AAAAH BABY

-Allen realizing and understanding than Cross and Tim both raised him to be a vessel to disappear one day, but still being unable to hate them, instead loving them so dearly for having been by his side. that's making me cry.

"we'll always be friends. whatever happen, we will go together, Tim" fucking crying in the club

-NOOO IM NOT READY TO SEE KANDA AND TIEDOLL LEAVE :(((

-JOHNNY BEST BOY and one of the only 3 people Kanda might allow to do something like this to start with

-remember when Hoshino was like "oooh drawing Kanda is difficult because it's difficult drawing beautiful people"? how am i to deal when he's so pretty.

-Kanda Tsundere Moment (also: the whole manga)

BITES FIST BITES FIST BITES FIST???

Allen believes he's not going to make it out from this journey, that once he will learn the truth he might not be able to remain himself, to remain "Allen", regardless of if Nea take over, so he tells Kanda farewell, thanking him for the journey so far, but it's so obvious they all believe it will be the end of "Allen" as we know him

it fucking guts me. god.

-most frightening panel wtf

aand that's the end for now. a transitional chapter in between two arcs but a really good one. The separation between Kanda and Allen is really emotional.

and now, this mysterious library is on the horizon. Allen's identity is at stake. and this mysterious smiling individual (that shouldn't be Apo since he's been taken by the Noah, so maybe whoever the Librarian is and... this is a bad sign.)

and now. we wait.

i'm super hyped for the mysterious library though. Genuinely can't wait to see where it's going.

we're so back baby.

[44-mr-midnight-44]

Welcome to the Pinned Post

Things that will be in said pinned post you are reading now:

♡ Disclaimers/Important info (before the cut, please read immediately)

♡ About me (can't guarantee its length, I love talking about myself)

♡ DNI (well, more just "if you qualify for this I will block you")

♡ Boundaries (not including triggers, I'm too smart for that B))

♡ Other socials/blogs (can't guarantee I'm too active on all of them!)

♡ Tags (what I tag and how to follow it)

♡ Userboxes ('cos what good pinned post doesn't have 'em?)

DISCLAIMERS!!!

(Warning, I'm going to be uncharacteristically mean for some of these. I'm not usually this hostile! This is about as mean as I get, I'm just a little too passionate about some of these.)

-I do not respond to any asks asking me for anything and/or asking me to spread anything.

-I am insanely uncomfortable with Mias World. Please don't ask me why, all you need to know is that I had a horrible experience with the fandom and several bad people in my life exploited my bad experience with the fandom to hurt me. If you were previously a fan of it but don't consider yourself a big fan/in the fandom anymore, you may interact with thin ice. If your blog is themed around it/you're currently big into it, DNI.

-Please don't come here for fresh "cringe" or if you want amusement from my account. We don't have to fight. We could probably be friends! I consider myself someone who can be reasonable, I don't mind people who I don't agree with. I'm friends with many who I would put a strong block on if I could. I like to talk and engage with ideas. We don't have to fight. Maybe you just need the change in perspective I had.

-With that said, if you ship characters with an abusive dynamic (not enemies-to-lovers, realistically-depicted abuse) get out right now. The horrific things I went through at the hands of way too many people is not your cute little uwu yaoi dynamic.

-If your name is Dakota and you like Rayman, Popee the Performer, Happy Tree Friends, Don't Hug Me I'm Scared, are a MASSIVE pro-shipper, go to a therapy school that an ex-friend helped you get into that you cut off contact with for confronting you about you hurting them, then I absolutely, irreversibly, incomprehensibly HATE you and I want absolutely nothing to do with you ever again. You ruined everything yourself, you're not some sad fanfiction protagonist that everyone hurts. And for the record, you can't use incest to "cope" when you don't have siblings you complete moron. I hate you for so many reasons I couldn't fit them in ten Google docs.

*ahem*

Alrighty, back to our regularly scheduled programming. Learn about me under the cut!

About Me

Howdy! My name's AXYER. At least, that's what I prefer being called by strangers, that most likely include you!

I also go by the name's Heart and Axon, but those are more friendly names. Heart's kinda my internet name, as well as a name that just generally makes me happy, whilst Axon's reserved for close friends! If you'd like to be formal, call me Mr. Midnight.

I am someone who is best described as a cartoon villain that must be someone's OC with how chaotic and unfun life is for me often. Really, I go through a hailstorm everyday! I like to think it builds character though. My life being so cartoonishly bad probably means I'm one of God's favourites, eh?

I tend to overshare quite a bit, so do bear with me! If I mistakenly say something too serious in casual conversation, assume I'm still being casual and don't be afraid to joke around and be silly with my "serious" discussion. I really mean that! Humour makes me happy, especially silly playful bullying, and if I actually needed to vent I would tell you beforehand.

I am also of the firm belief that kindness is best intended with no intent at all. I want to be a good person! I don't care for the reward of it, I just like being a good person and I just like making people happy. Nothing pleases me more than seeing other people smile because of what I did. I always try my best to engage with every infodump, and give as much feedback, comments, silly jokes and compliments I can! It really does suck when someone's clearly not interested in what you're saying, and I aspire to be a fun person to talk to!

Personal Information

Gender: Pangender (masculine-leaning, feminine-presenting)

Sexuality: Greyromantic-Panromantic Asexual (low libido, sex-indifferent in discussion sex-repulsed in activity)

Birthday: February 3rd

Religion: Buddhist, with a slight divergence in traditional Buddhist beliefs, as well as some vague Autotheistic and Pagan beliefs

Patron: It's very embarrassing so you'll have to wrestle it out of me

Height: 161 CM / 5'3"

Residence: Long Island, New York

Disorders: Cool Person Syndrome, comorbid with None of Your Business Disorder

Things I Like (structured most to least):

Hobbies: Maladaptive daydreaming, socialising, walking, writing (namely fanfiction but I love all forms of writing), coding HTML, moodboards, drawing, sleeping, comforting others, housework

Interests: Writing (characters, worldbuilding, story analysis, lyricism), psychology (most namely trauma responses), crossover AUs, butlery, ecology (namely biomes), Iceland, zoology, sociology, aesthetics, astronomy, trains

Fandoms (Primary): Chonny's Charming Chaos Compendium (primary hyperfixation), Whump, Rain World, Animator Vs. Animation, My Little Pony, FNaF, Undertale + Underverse/Undertale AUs, SCP

Fandoms (Secondary): My Little Pony: The Mentally Advanced Series/Rainbow Dash Presents, Dungeons & Dragons, Bo Burnham, Ultimate Chicken Horse, Hollow Knight, Gravity Falls, Pokémon, Bendy and the Ink Machine, Smiling Critters (Poppy Playtime), Cuphead, Centaurworld, Five Nights at Candy's, Happy Tree Friends, Don't Starve, Hateful Wonderland, World of None, Warriors, OK K.O!, BoJack Horseman, Tuca & Bertie, Tally Hall/Hawaii pt II, Steven Universe, Skylanders, Octonauts, Digimon, Phighting!

Interests (favourites):

Food: Lava cake with vanilla ice cream

Drink: Brownie milkshake

Colour: Has to be a colour combo for me, otherwise it's just bland. For combo, it would have to be light purple and black.

Animal: Chickens and sheep

Season: Winter

Month: December

TV Show: Centaurworld

Video Game: Ultimate Chicken Horse

Movie: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

Person: @nkgrimmie

Weather: Blizzarding

Clothes: Long-sleeve pyjamas, either two-pieces or nightgowns

Character: The Heart - Chonny's Charming Chaos Compendium

Song: It fluctuates a lot, but the one I always say is Good Day - Chonny Jash

Genre: A three-way tie between Supernatural Slice-of-Life, Psychological Drama, and modern Urban Fantasy

UN-Interests (least favourites):

Food: Guacamole

Drink: Tomato juice

Colour: Hot pink

Animal: Muskdeer

Season: Summer

Month: July

TV Show: Any anime

Video Game: Danganronpa

Movie: Spiderman: No Way Home

Person: @nkgrimmie

Weather: Heatwave

Clothes: Shorts

Character: I honestly can't think of one, most of the weird least favourites thus far have actual really specific reasons but I can't differentiate petty dislikes and genuine dislikes well enough 😭😭😭😭

Song: I Bet on Losing Dogs - Mitski

Genre: Most Horror and Action

Kintypes

High:

The Heart - Chonny's Charming Chaos Compendium

The Robber - Ain't no Rest for the Wicked - Chonny Jash

Villain - Archetype

Medium:

Grimmchild - Hollow Knight

Glorified Stick Figure - Fictotherian

Id Forest Volunteer - Archetype

Low:

Simon - Hawaii Pt ii

Blitzen - Santa's Reindeer

Copinglinks:

SCP-682 - SCP

The Mangle - FNaF

Synpaths: (oh boy)

Ffionn M. Fox - Still Here - Hateful Wonderland

Kickin Chicken - Smiling Critters - Poppy Playtime

Beelzebub - Helluva Boss

The Vinki - Rain World

victim - Animator Vs. Animation - Fanon

Mackenzie - Bluey

Horse - Centaurworld

Fink - OK K.O!

Batty - Ferngully and the Last Rainforest

Pink Pearl - Steven Universe

DNI

As previously mentioned, this is more of a "if you're blocked this is probably why". Sometimes I block just if you make me uncomfy though, no hard feelings!!!

-If I believe you are racist, transphobic, sexist, albeist, sanist, LGBTQ+phobic, religiophobic, or generally bigoted

-Zionist

-TERF

-Pro-shipper/Com-shipper/Dark-shipper/whatever they wanna be called

-Romanticise/fetishise/appropriate mental illness and/or certain forms of trauma

-Jash-shipper (don't you think it's kinda extremely weird to ship someone's ventsonas together?)

-Artimonk, Gourmonk, Survmonk, Moonstone, or slugcat x iterator shippers

-Shippers of the sad tie stick figure and the black winged red tendril stick figure. It is incredibly obvious if you know what I'm talking about. You are an absolutely disgusting person and I want nothing to do with you.

-"Syscourse"-debaters

-Political blogs

-People who love to argue/"take no BS"/"cluck around and find out"/"I don't care about you or your feelings <3" people

-People who frequently make arson jokes (for an incredibly personal reason, but it doesn't help that unoriginal + constantly repeated jokes bother me a lot to begin with)

-Cringe culture enthusiasts

-People who police around what counts as trauma/what counts as triggers

-If dark humour/more "vicious" playful bullying bothers you (just for your own comfort)

-People who unironically call people "snowflakes" or "sensitive" (the secondhand embarrassment would make most prefer to go to a TED Talk hosted by an eldritch horror)

-If your CCCC AU is centred around DID/OSDD (see: Boundaries)

Boundaries

-Please, PLEASE do not talk to me about DID/OSDD-1. PLEASE. There is NO winning on that debate on Tumblr, let alone social media in-general. You could round up a thousand people on Tumblr and ask them the same ten questions about the disorder and absolutely none of them would be the same. People with DID/OSDD-1 can interact obviously (I'm not sanist) but don't rope me into any discussion on it, it's a gamble I'm not willing to take. Full disclosure, yes, I think it's a read disorder, and yes, r/fakedisordercringe and r/systemscringe are full of hypocritical cucks. I have nothing against DID/OSDD the disorder itself just the insane amount of disagreements and arguments about it that I just do not wish to get roped into.

-Similarly, but not for the reason you expect, don't compare Chonny's Charming Chaos Compendium to DID/OSDD around me. Some… let's just say not very lovely people from my past were fond of that headcanon and posted about it a lot, and as a result it reminds me of said unsavoury people. I don't personally care about whatever and whoever you headcanon with whatever brain not-so-goodies, but that headcanon in-particular makes me extremely uncomfortable because of said un-lovely folks.

-I will ALWAYS be polite to people I am directly interacting with (maybe I'll reblog something with a not-so-nice tag but it won't be targeted at anyone specific) and I absolutely hate arguing with people. Even if you really, really don't like somebody, do not expect me to be upfront mean to them even if we are already close. It takes a lot to get me to be cross for more than a few days, so generally this won't happen with friends either. Please do not rope me into any drama you may be in.

-Please, PLEASE for the love of all things holy ask before venting to me. I am NOT always in a good headspace and often times I get extremely uncomfortable if I'm not prepared. I love consoling people, don't get me wrong, but I have to be in a good headspace first. If you vent to me without asking, you will probably only feel worse because I will probably upfront tell you not to do that instead of comforting you.

-Do not vaguepost about me. I will block you. If you have a problem with me, DM me and we will figure it out. That is incredibly disrespectful and I'm not going to do nothing and watch your followers bash me. Be respectful, for the love of all things holy.

-Please don't make comments about how "incomprehensible" my artstyle is. I know that. People tell me it enough. I'm trying to fix it.

-Don't call me a hypocrite.

Other Socials/Blogs

Socials

Bluesky - @heartchonnyjash

TikTok (Main) - @theheartfromchonnyjash / TikTok (Kin) - @burnofemotion

AO3 - @AXYER

PillowFort - @TheHeartAcoustic

Blogs

Fictionkin Blog - @thehearteccentric

Hero-Villain/Whump Blog - @elsewherereflective (trying to fix the link, bare with me)

Tags

Userboxes

[book51ut]

My therapist has me learning about integration of self through Carl Jung's idea of the shadow and persona and I wanted to spend some time exploring my "shadow" and what it entailed.

A lot of what I read suggested that a good place to start was thinking of your criticisms of people in your life, and seeing if you can see yourself in them. And wow, I was floored with my identification with these qualities. Part of me knew I had a lot of these qualities and didn't want to admit it. But there is something freeing about being told that though these things are fundamentally not ok and often harmful, denying that they're a part of you holds you back from growing.

I reframed my list into "I" statements and this is what I came up with: I am stubborn; I am egotistical; I am self-obsessed; I am immature; I have a superiority complex; I am more willing to say I'll work on myself than actually tangibly change; I am insecurely attached; I am obsessive; I desire to conform; I crave validation in normative social contexts; I am spoiled; I am invested in capitalism.

I'm sure as I keep going I'll find more.

I think it is interesting to consider that I don't think the goal of this is to ERASE all of those parts of me (though certainly attachment styles, working to change, etc can be changed), but instead to have me acknowledge their existence and SEE and UNDERSTAND when those sensations are being activated, and to be able to manage them in a way that doesn't create harm or conflict. Like we all have ego, we all have "vices" and are not perfect. And to say that we are working towards perfection would be the antithesis of the point of shadow work. The shadow claims that this is just another facet of us, and we need to accept it and treat it as such.

HOWEVER, I want to clarify, I think a lot of people use the excuse "that's just the way I am" when they do shitty things and hurt other people. I think that also misses the point of this- you can't just accept that you've harmed someone and apologize. You need to actually do the work to find and relate to an actually entirely different finished product in order to be your truest and best self. It's not just about accepting your "bad sides" and its not about "erasing" them. Its about coming to terms with them, understanding them, and finding and creating a new outlook and perspective that changes your essence.

I feel like some people get stuck on the "that's just the way I am" mentality (cough my ex bf and also ex best friend cough). And deep down, I'm terrified that I will as well. I really hope not.

[kellanved-ammanas]

TF2 Drabbles: The Bombinomicon & Merasmus & Soldier

Summary: Soldier inviting Merasmus to his and Zhanna's wedding? The sheer chaos and violence of how Solly does things in general plus their weird bitter exes-ish dynamic are fun.

~

“What is it?” the Bombinomicon asked for the third time since Merasmus had wondered into the library because he was still staring at the letter with that look on his face that said he was confused and unsure how to feel about it. Meaning it had to be something interesting. “Come on now, it’s unfair of you to bring that in here and not tell me what it is.” The only time the Bombinomicon got out was when Merasmus brought it out or when he cast a levitation spell on it, allowing it to float around for a few hours. So the tease of something interesting was just rude.

Finally though, Merasmus looked up. “It’s a wedding invitation.”

“Ooh!” Interesting indeed. “Whose?” They didn’t have many friends so it had to be a trap, right? More of Merasmus’ bad decisions surrounding borrowing money from certain organized crime syndicates coming back to haunt them. To be fair, the Bombinomicon hadn’t exactly discouraged him as much as it probably should’ve so it was partially to blame as well.

“Soldier’s. He’s marrying Zhanna.”

Oh so maybe not a trap after all, making it more exciting. “Haven’t they only been dating for like a year?”

Merasmus shrugged. “It’s Soldier. That’s probably a long time for him.”

“True, true.” Soldier being Soldier also explained the invitation, he was just weird like that. The Bombinomicon had always liked him. “We’re gonna go, right? I know he’s your ex and all but…”

“He’s not my ex, we never dated.”

“Hmm… whatever you say, ol’ pal.” It had looked an awful lot like dating to the Bombinomicon. Not that it had ever dated anyone or was even wanted to but as a book it knew a lot of stuff, including what dating looked like. Trashy romance was one of the genres it read the most after all, making it basically an expert on the subject. “We’re still gonna go, right?”

Merasmus sighed as he folded up the invitation and tossed it on the table. “I don’t know. What is one even supposed to wear to a wedding?”

“A suit. I think you’d look good in a suit. Put me in a bow tie. I’ve always wanted an excuse to dress up fancy.”

With another sigh, Merasmus walked over to stand in front of the Bombinomicon’s pedestal, looking down at it. “You really think I’d look good in a suit?”

“Yes.” Everyone looked good in a suit. “Or a nice dress if you’d prefer. And I think I’ll look good in a bow tie. And it’s Soldier so you know it’s not gonna be a normal wedding. Who knows what kind of chaos will go down during it? When’s the last time you got out and had some fun? Wait, don’t answer that, ‘cause I know that answer; the only time you go out for fun is around Halloween. Which means the only time I get to go out too is also around Halloween. So let’s go and have some fun at your ex’s wedding. Maybe he’ll even see how good you look in fancy clothes and realize what he missed out on, huh? Or he’ll see how happy you are single and get jealous! Wouldn’t that be fun?”

Merasmus didn’t respond, his brow still furrowed in heavy thought. At least he’d finally learned to think things through before jumping into them. It only took a few hundred years.

“And if things are boring, well, we got the tools to make it a real blast instead.” Bombs and explosions of all sorts could liven up any boring event. “So what do you say? Sounds fun, don’t it?”

A resigned sigh gave away Merasmus’ decision before he even spoke. “Fine. If you wanna go so bad, we can. I suppose it can’t hurt to get out more.”

“Yes! Finally some excitement. Make sure to find me a really nice bow tie. Pick whatever colour you think I’d look good in. I wanna look my best for my first ever wedding.”

[akookminsupporter]

yk i used to have an old frnd who i was very close to. like really. we used to talk all the time even though we live miles away and haven't met in like 7+ years. but we always got along. she had a really wide and kind of a different approach to life than other people which i really found admiring. i learned a lot of things from her and i honestly miss her presence sometimes. we don't talk anymore. time got us. there wasn't any fight or anything, we just gradually drifted apart and that's what hurts the most. why am i telling you this? because you remind me of her sometimes. she was strong, opinionated and never feared stating whatever was on her mind. that's a quality i acquired from her. so yeah... reading your messages (replies to the anons) remind me of her sometimes.

hope u do well in life, get everything u want and keep up with your spirit, rosie. i wish you the best in life and i hope everyone around you shows their love in their own way to you. and it's my request to you too, that if you have something to say to someone, say it. you never know when things might change, nothing is forever even the best of relationships (platonic, familial or romantic) end sometimes and you don't know when a stranger might become your new special person. so please don't ever hesitate to show your love to your loved ones. i've lost people and it won't be a lie if i say i barely have friends right now (i'm not forty years old, sigh. just ended high school) but that's fine i still have a lot more things coming. i could meet new people in college and hopefully form new definitions of friendships and relationships. but yes, from whatever i have seen so far, what i am sure of is that nothing is forever. i talk to everyone and you won't believe me people see me as a "happy go lucky girl" which i always like, because why being sad in front of people and making them feel sad when they can't do anything to help you? (in a good way. but i have this serious issue of bottling things up and that lead to anxiety. bad one) i literally have these thick walls because of how scared i am of forming bonds just for the fear of losing them. sigh. i just told you nothing is forever but i, myself have a hard time accepting that. easier said than done, isn't it? lol anyway a lot of sentimental and philosophical stuff have been said. geez i might cringe later at myself if you post this. nvm, it's so good that i found your blog, found bts, found armys, and found uh idk everything? yeah, life could be depressing but i try to smile it off because why not?

a frnd of mine was saying she's going to kill herself and i swear i've heard that lot more times from different people. two kids (15 year olds) commited suicide in the last two months where i live. and i was crying in the bathroom because idk who might be next. and it scares me yk what if it's me next? or in future months or years later maybe if i can't smile anymore? it's so disturbing, sigh. and i hate when people joke and say 'i'm gonna kill myself' at the slightest discomfort in life. at least once, just for a second i want them to think of thousands of those people who are surviving under constant fear of hurting themselves for real, who are actually struggling to keep themselves alive, to fight back life harder than it comes for them, and those who want someone to help them out of vicious circle of depression, anxiety and other similar problems they're caught in. i don't like people who make mental health issues look 'aesthetic'. hope they grow up to know better soon.

god i need to learn how to shut up. sorry this long. i love your blog, please don't ever shut this down. ilysm, hope you stay healthy and live your best life. also, again i'm sorry if my message is too depressing. i started off only to tell you that you remind me of my (ex) best friend lol.

Hi, anon! How are you?

I hope this doesn't sound disrespectful but I was a bit surprised when I read that you recently finished high school. There is experience in your words, experience that is usually gained over the years, with mistakes and frustrations but also joys. You are wise beyond your years, anon. That was nice to see. Although I keep in mind that at no point did you mention your age, assuming you're a teenager is perhaps a bit bold of me.

I think I've said it all day but thank you for the nice opinion you have of me. Thank you for the way you think of me. Thank you for somehow telling me that my sincerity is perceived by all of you. I'm sorry that you and your former friend have drifted apart. Life is funny like that sometimes. Sometimes people come into our lives to teach us something but not to stay. And in itself, that is also a life lesson.

In part, you remind me of me but unlike you, I have never had such positive thoughts about my future. About other people's? Of course, I have, but not about mine, I guess in that respect I like to preach but I don't apply what I preach.

Thanks for the advice and good wishes. You are a special person anon. Try not to change. Always try not to let life and all its tribulations ruin your way of thinking. Maybe try to be a little more positive about yourself. Trusting someone else people say is a rewarding thing to do, I need to work on that too, maybe we can do it together. I sincerely hope that people come into your life who bring something to you instead of taking something away from you. I hope that people come into your life with whom you can form sincere, honest and lasting relationships. You sound like the kind of friend I would like to have. That I often need to have.

I wish you nothing but the best anon, thank you for your kind words. I promise I won't forget what you said to me.

GRACIAS!!

[unknownfacelessfanfictions]

Let's have something about Solitude (Malcolm Reed/OC)!

Yes! Absolutely!! I've been planning this story for like three years and started about four times all over again because I wasn't quite satisfied with how it's going.

In contrast to all the other stuff I wrote or write it's actually a story and not Oneshots/ Multishots.

Since I started several times all over again, I didn't really get far. I've finished the first draft of the prologue and the first 47 chapters are planned in keypoints but definetely not written, so I'm just gonna give some general information:

I think what describes this tsory best is the tagg "strangers-to-friends-to-lovers-to-strangers-to-coworkers". A lot of people are not a fan of second chance stories which I totally understand, I usually don't really like it either, but in this case, I just thought it would be fun to write. And I mean, it's my story so I can do what I want.

The protagonist of this story is Eloise 'Lou' Leroy. She is a french woman in her mid-thirties that spend her entire life studying medicine. At first she managed to learn on Vulcan but after an argument with her "guest family" (it's not the correct word, but I can't think of a better one off the spot) she goes to earth to Starfleet Academy. After graduation she participates in several exchanges to broaden her knowledge on Vulcan and Denobula, where she meets Phlox.

After returning to earth she starts working in a research facility to be near her family, however gets recommended to Archer by Phlox and dragged along to the voyage among the stars which would be a lot easier without having to constantly work with her grumpy ex that is responsible for the security of the ship.

And as if wasn't bad enough already, she got constantly some problems with some petty Vulcans, quite aggressive Andorians that are nicer to her than half of Vulcan ever had despite being their hostage twice and her best friend that is working with the Vulcan ambassador and this close to absolutely quitting everything.

It's quite OC-heavy and quite tied to the series however I might change a few things and smaller details. I try to loosen it up so I don't just repeat the episodes and I think it's working okay, but yeah.

That's the basic idea for it. It's nothing grand or new or exciting but I spend so much time thinking about it, it's basically my baby.

Header: (click for better quality)

I think this got quite good actually.

Also, in case someone is interested, a snippet from the prologue:

"Stupid arsehole." Lou sipped from her teacup before setting it down on the saucer provided. "You should consider yourself lucky Liv. Do you know how many people would fight to be allowed to work as the Vulcan ambassador's right-hand man?" "Right hand up the arse," Liv growled sullenly and reached for one of the biscuits on her plate. " More like arse on duty. I feel more like his secretary or domestic help. The other day I had to fetch him his tea and I dared to make it one degree too cold, for which he spent ten minutes telling me off in the most emotionless manner!" She sighed. "I was just hoping... I don't know. I kind of imagined Vulcans to be cooler, though."

Lou smiled into her tea and put a hand on her friend's shoulder. "Vulcans aren't so bad, they can even be incredibly kind, even if you don't believe me." "You're right, I don‘t." "However," Lou continued, "you have to get to know them first, really well. And that can take a long time and cost you a lot of nerves, but as someone who has spent a lot of time with them, I can tell you 'it's worth it'."

Liv scowled into her teacup, her brows furrowing with uncertainty. "I don't know if I can do this," she confessed, her voice heavy with doubt. " You'll be fine," Lou encouraged her and leaned back. "You've only been working with Soval for a week and before that you were mostly surrounded by humans, denobulans or other species that show emotions. You have to get used to what it's like when your counterparts are brutally honest and operate solely on logic." Liv seemed about to object, but at that moment Lou's console in the next room beeped, causing her to sigh. "Excuse me for a moment, Liv. Duty is calling.“ Liv grimaced in understanding and redirected her attention to the plate of biscuits in front of her. Meanwhile, in the adjacent room, Lou settled into her chair, ensuring she looked presentable before answering the call from San Francisco. A rather handsome man with a light complexion, neatly groomed brown hair, and a warm smile appeared on her screen. "Are you Doctor Eloise Leroy?" Lou smirked at the pronunciation of her name. It was clear that the man was not familiar with the French language. "That's me. With whom do I have the honour?" He smiled sheepishly and Lou felt the need to smile back. "My name is Captain Jonathan Archer and I'd like to make you an offer."

Hope you're satisfied with this answer, at least a little bit :)