#BUTTON COLLECTORS IS VERY SILLY I LIKE THAT ONE VERY MUCH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[mieanme]

Merman x Siren au

Hualian - (part II)

Hello! I'm back to continue the brainrot! Huge thank you for such nice comments TT~TT

If anyone's looking for it, PART I is here ^•^

Anyways, without more gibberish, here we go!

***

Xie Lian had to wait until the night falls to try and sneak out of his small cave that he called home. It's placed on the outskirts of the pod's main settlement, so leaving unnoticed wouldn't be much of a challenge, but he still had to dodge a few patrolling hunters, who took the role of the guards for tonight. Two of them happened to be some of the few friends of his, so if they saw Xie Lian, knowing his nature and urge to help anyone, they would quickly catch him and make him return home.

Taking into account his white tail, he had to be really careful to not get noticed.

He only lets his guard down when he finally reaches a small coral reef that covers the cave formation from his view and vice versa. But now, a new problem arises.

How is he going to find the algae in those impossible darkness?

Of course he has great eyesight even at night, he's a merman after all, but he knows very well the deeper you go, the darker it gets. And as far as he understood, the algae grows in places the light can't reach almost at all!

Oh, how much he would love to have with him right now one of those silly little human inventions that can produce light on their own! Small, moveable sun that humans often use, when they dive into the deeper parts of the waters and sometimes drop, so they remain there for other creatures to investigate.

As a 'scrap collector' Xie Lian had come across a lot of human tools, but that one was specifically mysterious to him. How does that work? It sure can produce light when one presses a right button on its body, but after a longer period of usage, it would simply stop working. The light always came from the inside, but when Xie Lian once managed to open it, only more metal parts came out of it instead of the source of the light. Humans, even if they were quite annoying and unlikeable, sure had some great minds among them.

With his mind drifting to the other human inventions he saw over the years, he hasn't even known how long he has been swimming into the direction of the siren's territory. He only allows himself to daydream about his secret hobby about discovering human tools when no-one's around, because it is strictly forbidden to mingle with humans.

It's not like merpeople are scared of them, more like annoyed and vengeful. Humans are always loud and proud, thinking they're the kings of this whole world they share with countless other species. They leave an extreme amount of trash wherever they go and what do they do when they see something pretty they never saw before? They hunt it down.

Because of that, mers decided to not give them a glance of themselves, no matter how much those bastards would try. Every mer that was ever captured, suffered a miserable fate and never came back home, so every time the hunters saw any human trying to sneak into their pod's territory, they would take their revenge.

However, Xie Lian didn't despise those silly creatures as much as the others of his kin. He was aware there were not only those 'bad' humans up above. Some had to be respectful and interesting - their lost properties were speaking for themselves.

Suddenly, Xie Lian feels something touching his fin, that makes him come back to the now and here. He releases a few incoherent squeaks and clicks, quickly turning his body to face whatever could be behind him, but he sees nobody. Moreover, the touch becomes firmer and goes up his tail a little bit.

Xie Lian looks down in terror, only to realise he's been fretting for nothing.

"Ruoye, you scared me!" he clicks a few sounds, knowing very well the blue-ring octopus wrapping around his body will understand him just alright. The animal stops for a while to look at him with a wordless mocking 'it's your fault your mind was elsewhere, I can't fucking speak'.

After that short moment, the octopus continues to settle on his body in its favourite way, changing its own colour to the lightest it can get, trying to mimic Xie Lian's scales. Even the rings on its body become only the faint shadow of the deep blue they usually are.

"How did you find me even? Were you hunting at the coral reef tonight?" Xie Lian speaks up again, gently petting one of the tentacles that wraps around his arm. "I can't have you go with me, it might get dangerous."

Ruoye was one of Xie Lian's few friends. Since the day he got it out of a broken net that it got trapped in, the octopus was keeping him company almost every day. In general, Xie Lian was very grateful, because the animal was incredibly smart and sometimes even helped him a bit with collecting trash, but right now he'd rather go alone to not put Ruoye in danger.

Despite him clearly stating his mind, Ruoye doesn't seem bothered. One of it's tentacles pokes Xie Lian's cheek and the other pulls at his hair gently, as if the octopus wanted to say 'stop whining and go, out of us both I am venomous and less likely to be in danger', and, well, that's a point Xie Lian can't really argue with.

Defeated, Xie Lian starts swimming again, looking up for a minute to determine how much time he has already spent on this journey. The first rays of sunlight are already visible, crushing into the surface of the ocean, which assures Xie Lian in the thoughts that he's already close to his destination.

Close to the trench in the siren's territory.

***

Let's pretend that octopuses live more than 3-5 years (that's a devastating fact I learnt not so long ago) and Ruoye will stick around for much longer 🥹 Anyways, that's it for today!! We're heading to the siren's territory hehe~ (I have to think of a better title too...)

PART III

[sagemonsters]

@that-dnd-life has a blind date with...

Honey the Werebear

Honey is a paunchy transmasc werebear who has curly hair that is constantly in disarray, a booming laugh, a chipped front tooth, and kind eyes. He dresses in comfortable clothes and always smells like cinnamon.

Honey is a warmly gregarious person by nature and collects friends the way other people collect Pokémon cards. He cherishes every single friend he makes, but you’re especially dear to him and he seeks you out above other friends. He texts you “good morning” every day and makes an effort to respond to all of your texts. He cares about the mundane happenings in your life and would never call you boring.

Honey loves to cook and bake—it’s how he got his name! He’s particularly fond of complex desserts, and often asks for your opinion on what recipe he should try out next. He’s working on writing a cookbook, and will test recipes over and over before presenting them to you for “the final seal of approval.” He truly values your input in his creative process.

Although he has an entire bookcase filled with cookbooks and culinary history nonfiction, Honey doesn’t read much outside of his comfort zone. Instead, he asks you what book you’re reading and lives vicariously through your descriptions and clear enjoyment of the stories you’re imbibing. He likes listening to people talk about things they care about.

Honey loves to make you laugh, and will do silly voices to represent various members of your stuffed animal collection while acting out conversations between them. He wholeheartedly approves of that collection (he feels the same way about good-quality cookware) and is a very understanding person overall. He isn’t one to judge people, and disapproves of mean-spirited humor.

“You’ve been eyeing that plushie display for at least ten minutes,” a voice said behind you. You jumped and turned around, and met the grin of a kind-looking, easygoing man. “Which ones are you the most torn between?”

You cocked your head to the side. The man wasn’t wearing a shop uniform, so it was highly unlikely he was an employee here. “How do you know it’s been ten minutes? …Or are you just making that up?”

His smile turned a trifle embarrassed. “I come here for the people-watching, to be honest. This shop sells a lot of vintage and handmade toys, and it’s always nice to see people find a new favorite thing, you know? You’ve got the look of a seasoned collector.”

A blush heated your face. “Thanks, I think. You’re right, I do have a few stuffies at home.”

“Excellent! I need some help finding a mascot for my new restaurant. A bear of some kind, but otherwise I don’t really have any preferences.”

You thought for a moment, looking past the displays of Squishmallows and Jellycats to the secondhand toys. Some of them were quite worn (or “well loved” as the sign said), while others looked as though they had time traveled right out of a display window from over a hundred years ago. 

“Why a bear?” you asked eventually.

“Oh, it’s because I’m a werebear and the restaurant is called the Bearpaw Grill,” the werebear said, but he grimaced as he said the restaurant's name—as though it left a bad taste in his mouth—before continuing: “Call me Honey, by the way.”

“That’s a cute name—yours, I mean,” you said, and then introduced yourself. “Do you not like your restaurant?”

“I love it just fine. I love the building, I love the kitchen… I just don’t like the branding. It sounds like a sports bar, when really I want to run a family-oriented diner, you know? But my marketing manager is very insistent.” 

“So? It’s your diner, isn’t it?” you pointed out. “You should follow your own dream, not someone else’s. What about this one?” You walked over to one of the bins of secondhand stuffed animals and pulled out a tattered-looking bear. It had blue button eyes and a little pink nose, with one green ear and a lopsided, stitched-on smile. “He looks like he’s been cuddled a lot.”

“He’s perfect,” Honey said, and then looked up at you. “And you’re right—I should stay true to my original vision. Come by sometime, okay? I want to treat you to lunch if that’s okay. Our grand opening is next month, and we’re right on the square by the clock tower.”

You smiled back at Honey. “That sounds really nice. It’s a date, then.”

Honey grinned back at you. “Yeah. I’m looking forward to it."

see here to get your own blind date with a monster!

[nat-seal-well]

Reading about your fics, there are so many things I'm looking forward to reading!

About "hello my old heart", what is Adam's introspection about?

The fic where Nate learns about video games sounds amazing, haha! If you have a snippet to share, I'm here for it <3

Hi!! Thank you, friend 🥰💙

“hello my old heart” was mostly inspired by A’s fear of letting anyone in. It went really well with the song. I was listening to it on a Wednesday shift, because on those days I go in at 3 AM and listen to my music for like four hours while I work before the store opens, and that day I was listening to The Oh Hellos and the idea just kinda showed up and punched me in the face.

The song talks about building walls around your heart, which is, as we all know, what A does. A lot of the fic is about Adam trying to understand his own emotions, and how they end up slipping through the cracks anyway no matter how hard he tries to keep them back.

Since I’m me (and that means I’m constantly thinking about life and death and then scaring myself with it multiple times a day) I also wanted to write a little bit about the process of becoming a vampire, because there’s the brief pause in the middle where the heart stops. Which tied into all the other ideas, and then one thing led to another… y’know. I’ve been working on it very slowly but steadily, just because that sort of writing style takes more time for me. It’s one of the ones I want to have finished soon, though! :)

And the video game fic was inspired by two things: Ns inability to use electronics, and the fact that I feel like they would like animal crossing, if they could ever figure out how a switch works. It is gonna be fluffy and silly and lots of fun, haha. There’s a little snippet under the cut 🥰💙

Occasionally he thinks of himself as a scholar. A collector of knowledge, which of course is ever-expanding. One of the wonderful things about humanity is its desire for more. Humans are hungry, starving constantly for an understanding of everything around them. They stare up at the Universe to demand it give them answers, and in this insatiable hunt for science, the technology they create are things Nate never even thought to dream of.

He has learned much over the course of his very long life, and it is likely he will learn more. But this thing currently sitting in his hands, he fears, may not be one of them.

Brows furrow as he turns the device over. It’s relatively flat. And rectangular. When the Detective first handed it to him, he thought it was a phone, only it’s significantly larger than the average cellular device. And these days, phones are almost all glassy, black “touch screens.” This thing is only mostly screen. It has colorful little ends on either side—one blue and one red, if you hold it horizontally—with little knobs and buttons, but they don’t do anything when he presses them.

There has to be a way to turn the thing on. That’s how these kinds of contraptions work. Nate just needs to find it.

It’s easier said than done.

“Oh, come on, now,” he says to the machine as he fiddles with one of the knobs, and the screen remains a stubborn black. The only thing on it is his own frustrated expression in the reflection, staring back at him. “You have to work somehow.”

“You’re talking to yourself, Nate, did you know that?”

[disorganizedkitten]

Moving Places

Miraculous Ladybug | 2019 | 2,838 | Ao3 | @chimpukampu and @ZiriO

Adrien Agreste and Marinette Agreste, parents of 3, are finally moving to a bigger home. That forces them to reckon with a heap of stuff that's been collecting and gathering dust over the years. Things get a little... funny and fluffy.

“Adrien, We’ve been through this a thousand times. We need to trim things down this once. We’re not taking everything!”

Yes, that’s how moving homes usually happens, but it’s always a reason for a little bit of bickering, but some endearing moments included too. Adrien and Marinette Agreste, parents for 3, have been waiting for this for a long while now, and yet…

Their kwamis hovered about with amused looks, Plagg more so than Tikki, wondering what might get unearthed.

The boxes rattled as Adrien moved them about. A slight puff of dust bloomed from one as it was opened, giving the air a very mild acrid smell.

“I think we haven’t opened these up since the last time we moved, if not the time before! Isn’t that a hint, Adrien?”

“Mari, we are not touching my Ladybug collection! Look, it’s a collector’s edition!”

Adrien brushed off some of the dust and pressed the button on the doll.

“Time to de-evilize!” a high-pitched voice emanated from it as Adrien smiled. “See? It still works!”

“Wow, that’s amazing. Can I try too?” Marinette snickered. “Time to de-evilize!” She called in a theatrical fashion. “So, who did it better?”

Adrien’s smile widened into a full-fledged grin.

“Hey, I never said I didn’t have the single-issue real thing in my collection” he cooed.

“Oh do you now?”

“I could show you but then we’d never get any packing done.” He jested and then his face went a bit more serious. This turned their attention to the heap of stuff still waiting for them to sort through.

“Fine.” She grumbled at the missed opportunity. “But the monopoly box goes. That one was a mistake.”

They looked at a miraculous-themed monopoly board. A cheapskate producer named Zag somehow convinced them this was a good idea. By the time he started to leak pictures to the press, it was hard for them to stop it. It was a good thing that Chloe found them a legal loophole and used her family’s clout to threaten him to a halt. But they did have the box to remember that one.

“How on earth did he convince us to do such a silly thing?”

“The guy had charm and a good deal of luck.”

“Mari, do you think it’s the power of-”

“Adrien Agreste, don’t you dare!”

“You practically walked into that one, milady… “

“If only I could toss away all your puns at that.” She sighed.

“Actually, you sort of did last time, don’t you remember?”

“Please don’t remind me. I was horrified. A notebook full of lame puns!”

“You can’t get them out of my head though.”

“If your lips are busy they can’t throw puns around, you know.” she winked and he smiled back at her.

We are never going to get any packing done like that…

---

A quick kiss later, they were back to sorting stuff.

“What’s that? Is that Emma’s first pacifier?” She said as she examined one.

“Oh yeah. I keep hoping we can still use it. That girl won’t shut up!” He jested.

“Out it goes! Our girl is all grown up now, maybe it’s time someone else would grow up too!”

“Hey, it’s always good to have a reminder of us growing up. After all, we have 3 kids and you still don’t look a day over 3000.”

“Now you know why I’m so much wiser than you.” She retorted. “Now let’s get back to packing, you… adorable goober of a flirt, you.”

She gave him another quick kiss. He earned that one too. They both looked at the next item.

“A solitaire thinking challenge? Aren’t our kids too old for that?”

“Well, there was a time when you couldn't think straight around me. And you were adorable.”

“Adrien Agreste, If I had known this was going to haunt me all through our marriage… I’d do it all again.” She chuckled. “Anyway, what the hell is this?”

They both looked at a box full of a random assortment of seemingly useless stuff.

“I’m… saving this for Emma? Kidding, I have no idea what’s exactly in it. There’s only one way to find out.”

They cautiously opened the box, looking at a mix of extremely oddball items, scratching their heads at each one trying to figure out what’s it doing there.

“A gecko-shaped pendant? What’s that doing here?”

“Emma made one on art class.”

“And we’re keeping this… why?” She gave him a stare over it.

“It’s… uhh… we can play pretend it’s a real miraculous?” He suggested half-jokingly, only to be met with Marinette’s stern look as she discarded it into the trash.

“She made A ladybug themed brooch?”

“She’s a big fan, you know…”

“I can understand that, but why are we keeping it?”

“Uhh…”

Marinette threw that one into the box marked “for cataclysm”.

“A lego toy welding machine? Who had this stupid idea?”

“It’s Max… and he’s smart so maybe it was a smar-okay it really was a stupid idea, she never even opened it. Too bad Alix never stopped him!”

“That can go to the donations pile. Next!”

“What’s a map of Jerusalem doing here?”

“Geography class, I guess?”

“But how’s that a souvenir when we’ve never even been there?”

Marinette crumpled the thing into a ball and threw it to the trash.

“An ad for a Louvre exhibition from 2015? So useless.”

“We could sell it on eBay...”

Marinette rolled her eyes.

“God, sometimes the things you say actually make me prefer a pun. And that’s a major achievement, Mr. Agreste!”

She sighed as she went on.

“An aimee mann CD? Do we even have anything that can play these things?”

“No, we don’t…”

“Donations pile. Next?”

“A defunct Wacom pad… you said you were going to get it fixed like what, 2 years ago?”

“I still plan on… okay you can throw this.”

Marinette had fond memories of that one, she used it to do quite a bit of sketching, and yet even she couldn’t but admit that no, she wasn’t going to get that one fixed. She then moved on to the next item.

“Okay… what the hell is this?”

They both examined a pink rod with a heart-shaped fake gem on top.

“Oh, I brought this back from Japan to Emma. I think it appeared in some anime or something.”

“I am letting you bring too much trash in, and that’s the result… sometimes I am just way too nice with you.”

“It’s my kitten face, bugaboo. It’s irresistible. Besides, she actually used that one on Halloween!”

A stern look and Adrien threw the thing into the Cataclysm box. Marinette then examined the next item.

“A dream catcher? Oh yes, I remember now. You bought this for me after I told you what was my nightmare in ‘sandboy’!”

“Oh, what fond memories that one brings…”

Adrien had a sly smile on his face as he started to play-act his part.

“Marinette… the prettiest and the smartest one of all is Chloe…”

“Now there's the holder I know,” Plagg snarked. “So good to have you back.”

“My god… what a mistake that was…” Marinette gently touched her palm to her forehead at her husband��s act as she came up with the retort.

“Do I have to remind you I can play-act your nightmare too?”

That did the trick, snapping him back.

“Please don’t do that… You’re the lady of my dreams, bugaboo! I even have a ring to prove it now.”

“Adrien, flattery is going to get you… actually, going to get you good things. Keep up at that.”

They exchanged yet another quick kiss.

Adrien eyed another box, around the size of an A4 page. As he reached out to grab it, he heard his wife squeak a ‘No’ at him.

“What, Mari, what’s in that one?”

She turned slightly pink, reminding him for a moment of that blushing teenager from Francois Dupont college that he ended up marrying.

“Uhhh… umm…”

He carefully opened it. The first page had a drawing of Marinette wearing a grey superhero costume with a pink skip-rope and pink hair ribbon, with the caption “Mousinette”.

“Ha, so you drew yourself as the Mouse superheroine! That’s…”

She lost her blush by now. She wasn’t a teenager anymore, after all.

“Yes, that’s… ?” She urged him to complete his sentence.

“That would have been real hot, sweetie. I’d pay to see you dressed up in Halloween like that!”

“In that case…” She said as she put her finger thoughtfully at her chin, “... a dinner out for two, as your payment?”

“You know I would have done it anyway after we finish packing, right?”

“I know you well enough by now, dear husband.” She smiled and booped his nose affectionately.

“Well, I should certainly hope so.” He grinned, thumbing the edges of the pages. “So….how much of this sketchbook did you fill, again?”

“I usually fill all the pages, why?” Her eyes narrowed, regret and the sudden thought that maybe she needed more than a dinner out as payment starting to creep over her.

“Mind if I keep looking?”

“Adrien, we are never going to get done at this rate!”

“Yes, but how often do I get to look through your old art?” The kitten eyes made a swift comeback, leaving Marinette groaning in disgust.

“Fine, but you get five minutes!” Which was enough to sate his curiosity, or at least she hoped.

“So why did I never see this cute bee costume on you? Or this amazing Ladybug-themed dress?” He pouted, though that was nothing compared to the look on his face when he came across a sketch of her as Chat Noir, with a massive ribbon for the tail.

“No. Don’t even ask, I won’t make it. That ribbon is a joke, and the peplum look went out of style years ago!”

“Marinette!” He was sulking now, pouting as he lifted the sketch.

“Absolutely not, besides, there’s no way I could put the pawprints on the gloves and shoes, it’d look ridiculous at my age!” He still sulked, but she shook her head anyway. Somebody had to put their foot down, or they’d never get anywhere.

Which, yeah that was normal. Downsizing to move always took forever. How did they even end up with this much stuff?

“You looked at my art, now we need to go through one of your boxes.” Marinette decreed, grabbing a box with the label ‘Adrien’. She unfolded the flaps and sighed. “We can’t get rid of these, pass me the next one.”

“What are they?” Adrien set down the sketchbook, a drawing of a Tiger holder displayed, to peek over her shoulder. “We were supposed to put those on the mantel ages ago, weren’t we?”

“I think so.” Marinette pulled a fencing trophy out of the box, turning it over in her hands. “I completely forgot we had these.”

“Think we’ll be able to put them up at the new house?”

“If there’s not space, maybe we can add in a few shelves? Emma’s going to start competing with Akari soon, if they continue at this rate.”

“Purr-fect idea, as always, M’lady.” Adrien draped himself over her shoulder batting his eyelashes at her.

“Okay, where’s the tape? I should relabel this one so we don’t forget again.”

Adrien pulled himself off her, scooping the masking tape and marker up and depositing them in her lap. “While you do that, I’m going to go through this one.” Adrien moved a few feet away, dragging the box back with him. “Are assignments important enough to be kept again?”

“Which assignments?”

“Cat breeds.”

Marinette groaned. “That wasn’t an assignment, Adrien, that was from you trying to bribe Chloe into getting Hugo a cat for Christmas.”

“Oh yeah. Can we keep it?”

Marinette shot him her most deadpan look. Adrien replied with puppy-dog eyes. Marinette sighed. “Fine. Toss it into the maybe pile.”

“Yes!”

“Moving on, have you found the box with the photo albums yet?”

“Not yet, I’ll get to them. When we have a break.”

“Why?”

“Chloe and Emma baby pictures.”

Marinette stifled a laugh. “Yeah, okay.” She glanced back into her current box. “I found Emma’s old EAH dolls, do you think she’ll still want them?”

“No idea.”

“Into the maybe pile, we can check with her later.”

“Good idea.”

Silence for a moment, and then Adrien snorted.

“What did you find?”

Adrien leaned back to look at Marinette, smirking. “Remember your crush?”

Marinette pouted. “You already teased me about that today. Is it still not old?”

“Not when all the memorabilia right here.”

“Not when the- Oh!” Marinette shrieked, scrambling over to him. “You found them! Finally! I seriously thought Master Fu had taken them.” She smiled brightly.

“Why would Master Fu take them?”

Marinette blushed scarlet. “Alya didn’t tell you. Of course not. Okay. Um, actually. Oh dear it’s kind of embarrassing. Why is it embarrassing? It wasn’t when I told Alya and Master Fu. Maybe it’s because it’s you. Oh boy. Okay so-” Marinette’s rambling died off in a whine as she buried her face in her hands. “It’s only embarrassing because it’s you. It was actually really smart at the time. Uh, move the top hundred or so.”

Adrien blinked at her reply, before turning back to the box. “What did you do?” he asked slowly, gathering up photos and slowly moving them out stack by stack. “Oh.”

“Yeah.” Marinette peeked over her fingers. “No one ever looked under that stuff, so it was the safest place to hide my research.”

“You never fail to amaze me,” Adrien snorted. “Using your crush to protect your identity? Constant multitasking at its’ best.”

“It was multistorage actually.” she tapped her head. “One track mind.”

They carefully dug through the box a little more, pages upon pages of translations and coded information sitting at the bottom, with cardboard dividers in between the layers. They pulled another set off, and Marinette promptly collapsed backwards, laughing.

“Are these the Kwami-sitting dolls?” Adrien asked, pulling the Pollen and Plagg ones out of the box.

“Those are the Kwami-sitting dolls,” Marinette confirmed, wheezing.

Marinette’s foot snagged something pointy, and when she stepped back to inspect the object, she grimaced “Adrien Chat Noir Agreste, bring your ass in here!”

“What is it M’ - whoa!” he stopped momentarily while schooling a dumbfounded look “What is that doing here?”

“You tell me,” she snarled as she spread out a big tarp of an old Gabriel perfume ad.

“Well, you said that you love fashion, and you want to update your ‘mini’” he made an air quote there “Adrien shrine -”

“Adrien!”

“Radiant,” the blond uttered dramatically as he reenacted his commercial ad “Carefree...Dreamy…”

Before he could finish the line, his wife hurled the incriminating poster and hit him squarely to the face.

‘ Why did I marry that man-child? ’ Marinette muttered to herself as she returned to her work, trying not to mind her crying husband, then paused when she saw another familiar banner.

“Why is this thing still here?”

“I swear to Plagg this is the only tarp that I saved... Oh. Oh, that .”

It was an old banner with a logo of a fencing team and quote in bold letters ‘ Excel and Power Pointe ’

“I thought Louis threw this?”

“He thought he threw it,” he smirked toothily as he walked towards his wife and snatched it from her hands “He didn’t know that his Papa saved it.”

Marinette gave him a beady look “You know that Louis will throw that again, right?”

“Not if we keep it.” Adrien retorted cheekily.

She rolled her eyes indignantly “C’mon, Kitty. This is just a dumb cheering banner you made for Louis’ fencing tournament, and he really hates it so much he had to knock his opponents in a short record time because he didn’t want to see that banner waving on his sight!”

“That’s more the reason why we have to keep it!”

“You’re just keeping this because of the pun!”

“That’s because it’s a good pun!”

“No, it’s not!”

“Will you two just stop this marital fight?” Plagg hovered above their faces, scowling “You’re both adults, for Kwami’s sake, not a toddler!”

“What Plagg was saying,” Tikki added with a smile “That you two were shouting so loud the neighbors heard your bickerings.”

The couple blushed furiously and apologetically resumed to their task.

Soon they had finished with the last box, and after repacking it - There was nothing in there they would have actually gotten rid of, they went through it for memories and to kill time - went back to work on the other boxes. Thankfully there weren’t that many that had been abandoned for the four years since they last moved.

They Lapsed into silence for a little bit, each finding their own boxes of miscellaneous things to go through. Occasional laughs, or questions, broke the silence, but for the most part it was just that. Silence as they prepared for a huge change that was to come.

[jils-things]

Idk if you ever mentioned it (or i was just not a follower back then) but how did you come across idv 💭 also tell me when/how you started to like freaky Campbell bc i like hearing those stories 👊

YAY LOREEEE YES YES OF COURSE i love telling stories as well so this is perfect HEHEHEHE (im v sorry this is so long. this is what 5 years does)

so i joined idv when it was still quite new! november 2018, i checked. my best friend (who is also a selfshipper here, just inactive atm) asked me one day if id like to play with her this game! she only got into it recently and wanted someone to play with so she thought of me. without much hesitation, i did (i was immediately convinced with the dbd styled gameplay) so ive been playing idv with her non stop (we even played together recently after i went back to it for norton hehe)

norton wasnt even there when i first joined! there used to be a small roster of survivor and hunters and i remember either she or i get leaks on new survivors and we talk about it! norton was the second "new" survivor at the time that i got introduced to, i think that was on march 19 (which is also his birthday). at first, i was simply excited to get new survivors so of course i was like "yay!! this prospector looks awesome!" (foreshadowing. /j). i think one of my initial thoughts of him was "dang, that is definitely a design i fuck with" (his miner's hat really gives a lot of character! i still believe that today).

i was pretty much neutral at first. i just go yay cool guy is here in the game lalala (same attitude when the other "new" survivor came out)

one day my friend was designing an oc to pair with a random character (i dont think it was a yume thing, she just wanted to ship with someone because why not) and i wanted to join her as well, that's when I conceptualized irene - she was initially a shell collector :D like my friend, i wanted to find a survivor to pair her up with and without hesitation I just went. yeah. norton . nortons the one (as i said, his design really resonated with me and imo he was like, one of the actually "good looking" survivors to me at the time. its hard to say that now because we have characters like luca, aesop, edgar, mike etc etc LMAO)

so i was like yeahh! irene x norton real :D at first it was just a very lighthearted thing for me to do (as in, i wasnt very. 'HES SO CUTE LALALA") but i think it was when i tried to google fanart of him to draw at the time - that's when i was like "ooh... he kinda cute tbh..." but mostly just kept it hidden

at that time, i didnt really accept being a yumejoshi yet - i was super casual abt it and didnt think much abt liking him (i thought he was just a handsome blorbo to me). also because i was very preoccupied shipping him with emma (whom i very much projected into hehehe)

so after some time this becomes an on and off thing where i like him, and then ignore. like him, then ignore. cue the dormant years

then timeskip to maybe like, my 1st year in the yumeblr community, i missed him and this time i was becoming more head over heels for him for a brief time so i drew him and irene (irene was still a shell collector there too.) it was short lived

then uhh, time skip to a little more recently last year -- fools gold was becoming a thing! I don't know fucking HOW, BUT THAT TRAILER/NEWS CAME INTO MY YOUTUBE TIMELINE EVEN IF I DID NOT... TOUCH IDV? AND, FUCKIN HELL, I THINK I BECAME A NEW PERSON THAT DAY 😭😭 LIKE SEEING FOOLS GOLD WAS A WHOLE ASS RESTART BUTTON BECAUSE SUDDENLY I WAS IMMEDIATELY DOWN HORRENDOUS

AND AFTER THAT, I JUST. BECAME. WHAT I AM RN. EXTREMELY GIDDY AND SILLY ABT THIS DUMB HOT ROCK FUCKER LMAOOO but again it didn't last long? (medium lived ...?) cuz of steven. but also my friends (yk the fuckplace server) were constantly teasing me abt norton in general at this point so i couldn't exactly get him off my radar but i kept quiet. its worth mentioning that irene was still a shell collector too but i was starting to debate whether i should redesign her or not

and then, skip to the present. what got me to like, really selfship with him and just fully commit to liking him for Months now even -- was because of the stageplay which my aforementioned friends kept encouraging me to check (and when stageplay norton came up. i basically had the same reaction w fools gold but more positively and more lovingly SKAKWKKASKA) and that's when i fully retconned irene's lore to really align with his lore.

its worth mentioning that during norton's early years in the idv community - we did not know his personality and lore. the only keyword we had was "gloomy" but that didnt stop me and my friend from misinterpreting his attitude to be friendly and goofy (and irene was... believe me or not. a fucking Hater.. he was the goofy. she was the Not goofy one. its scary to look back on). and im so serious when i say the fools gold trailer changed the whole game for me because thats when i actually KNOW: 1) his personality 2) his lore 3) he is not a goofy Guy and i revamped irene's entire lore to align with his - making her the rich happy girl to his poor emo boy

so yeah. Meta Constabell Lore /JJJJJ

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: June 6th, 2021

I’m back with more ask responses! You can also check our Frequently Asked Question sheet if there’s something you’re wondering that’s not answered here.

FAQ   Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog

Thank you for the patience with these questions  ♡

Hey in very beginning of step 3 in the scene where Mr.Holden had a thought dancing on the tip of his tongue but he kept it to himself after MC and Cove were being cute (idk if it makes a difference but this is when they're dating)... Can we know what he was thinking/ wanted to say? It's been bugging me lol 

He would’ve gone into a “look how much you’ve grown”, “your dad is so proud of you”, “I’m so glad things worked out with the MC”, and etc spiel, haha. But he resisted the urge to fawn on his baby boy, at least for that scene.

If we planned to move away for college/future plans in step 3, is it implied that MC and Cove would have a long distance relationship for sure? Could MC have convinced Cove to come with them? How is the dynamic of their relationship going to be addressed in Step 4, if that makes sense? 

Cove is willing to follow the MC where they went after everything is settled for them there, and if they’re sure they want him to come! You’ll get to decide how things shook out during those transitional years just by making choices about it during the opening prologue of Step 4.

Hi! First off, how does it feel to have created one of the best games when it comes to inclusion for lbtq+ peeps? I've never felt as validated with my identity and sexuality when playing a game and I'm seemingly not alone ♥ Second, and this might be a little too specific, but what kinds of drinks does Cove like as well as dislike? Thank you, you're the best ♥

Thank you for very much! It’s really nice to hear the game felt inclusive. Cove likes regular water and fruit juices/smoothies most! He dislikes coffee and cola, and he’s not super into most teas either.

Hi, may i ask what gb patch stands for? Specifically the gb part lol

It stands for my old, silly username I used in places like Neopets as a kid, aha. The company name wasn’t super thought out since it was originally just me making VNs as a hobby. Luckily, “GB Patch” kind of seems like it could mean something reasonable, so I didn’t have to rebrand when it did become a more serious, commercial group.

If we chose to not propose to cove in the step 3 dlc would he propose or would the mc propose in step 4 or the wedding dlc? 

Yeah, you or Cove can propose in Step 4 if you’re not already engaged! The Wedding DLC takes place after the engagement so the proposal scenes aren’t there.

will you guys announce if the early access for the new game is out on patreon ? 

When beta builds of Step 4 or whatever start coming out on the Patreon we will mention it here on social media too.

Heyy I just had a quick question about Baxter if that’s okay :)?

I saw in an ask+answer that it’s possible to casually date Baxter In step 3, but what leads up to that? I have the step 3 dlc and I’ve tried playing them In a different orders and ways but it doesn’t seem to get anywhere ^^;

The Step 3 DLC is Cove-based because he’s the default guy. There’s a separate Baxter romance DLC that’s not out yet. That’s where you can get him to date you. I’m sorry for the confusion!

Will we ever get any LI's or side characters with physical disabilities or deformities? I think your games would be a great place to have them in since they're always so accepting and safe! 

Yeah, we do hope to have representation for that in future projects ^^. Thank you for the confidence in us.

Is it possible to get Cove to take the bed and MC to sleep on the floor? 

Not in Step 3, I’m afraid.

So, I have played the prologue of Our Life countless times and I haven't gotten the [Your Life] achievement, why is that? 

Steam sometimes isn’t connected properly when an achievement unlocks and so it remains locked on your account. If that happens, unfortunately getting the scene again won’t unlock it. The achievement becomes inaccessible because the game thinks you already have it. Playing with the same Steam account on a different device or fully deleting your game data (more than the only the save files) are the only work arounds we’ve found.

Since when you talk with Jeremy in step 3 it's mentioned he goes on dates with someone (which assume is JB because who else would take this boy on dates) that makes him happy, does that sort of make JB and Jeremy the canon relationship in the first game?

The default for XOXO Droplets is that JB casually goes on dates with each of the jerks! Shiloh would’ve been harsher if Jeremy was the only guy getting her attention, haha. But the player can change that default by dating just one person the whole game for their own story and who she ends up with for real has no default.

Hi, hello! Huge OL fan, thank you so much for the wholesome content, it was very much needed during these times. Managed to get several people to join team Cove, so that's very exciting, I always have people to fawn over him with. I have a little question and I'm sorry if it was asked before, but does it ever come up in the game what Cove has told his mom about us? (who knows, with so many options, one can miss it) Or, alternatively, will it come up in the Step 4 DLC? 

Thank you very much for sharing the game with people <3. It’s really great to hear people are liking it. Right now that doesn’t come up in game. Kyra is willing to keep her mouth shut and Cove isn’t gonna have that conversation either. At least not when he’s younger, but yes, perhaps when he’s a fully grown big boy in Step 4 you can ask him about it.

I’ve been thinking about this ever since it has been confirmed that there would be two love interests for OL2, would there be the possibility of forming a polyamorous relationship with both love interests? I’m sorry if you answered this previously, I’m just curious. 

We are considering it, but it’s not a guarantee yet. It’d be really great to have but it’d add so many extra alterations that’d need to made, aha.

Hello! You mentioned how Cove would be uncomfortable with kids at 23, but how old would he be when he’s comfortable with having/adopting kids? (Same goes for the other LI’s.) btw, love your game!! 

He’d want to be at least 25, but even older would be good. Derek would want to have kids when he and his partner could reasonably support them, the age itself wouldn’t matter. If they were doing good at 22 and wanted kids, he’d be up for it. Or they could wait until their 30s or whatever. Baxter is also more of a “when it feels right” guy rather than having a specific age requirement. Cove is just especially wary of being a young parent because of his own parents. I’m happy you like the game!

does step 4 immediately play after you press "end summer" in step 3? or is there another button/transition (like the story text thingy) before the epilogue begins? what happens after the epilogue? roll credits? 😂 

Step 4 will have transition section always and there will be an extra button, if you own the Derek or Baxter DLC. By default the Cove-based version of Step 4 just plays once Step 3 is over. However, having the other guys’ storylines will mean you get to pick which version of Step 4 plays; Cove Step 4 (the basic one), Derek Step 4, or Baxter Step 4.

Happy pride, thank you for all you do for us🥰

I have a quick question though, I recently got a MacBook after my old windows computer broke, and now steam says I cannot download it, but it has no issues with other games, what can I do to download it?? I’m sorry if my English is bad

Happy pride month! Unfortunately, Our Life isn’t available for Mac on Steam right now. To be an approval application Apple requires having special notarization and we as a small group haven’t gotten that. Itch doesn’t care and lets us release the game for Mac there anyway, Steam does care so we’re locked out of putting the Mac build up on their storefront. Feel free to email us and we can try to help the situation out further!

support@gbpatchgames.com

Hello! I was jus wondering if the Baxter and Derek DLCs are still happening? I haven’t heard anything about them on here or patreon in a while so I just wanted to make sure ^^

They’re still coming and we just released a new sprite sketch on the Patreon for the Derek DLC c:. But right now Step 4 is still much more of a priority. Once that’s closer to being done we’ll focus way more on sharing previews for the other guys.

is it possible to tell cove you love him (platonically) at step 3 fondness/selecting him as basically family? i just love the mc and liz sibling interactions and it got me wondering about it (especially if you've selected that option)

You and Cove can be as close as family, but there’s not a specific scene in Step 3 where you say “I love you” in a family context. But there’s always Step 4~

do you intend on ever adding a collectors mode to Our Life? Like a way to collect achievements and CGs for the gallery without it effecting any save files? 

We weren’t considering it before. But if a lot of players would find that helpful, we could start thinking on that!

Sorry if it's a silly question haha, but (in crush/love) is Cove really aware of how cute and cuddly he seems to MC? If so, what does he think or do about it? Or does he just ignore it? 

He isn’t particular aware. Cove never truly stops being surprised that the MC is interested in/attracted to him, haha.

Would you say that the alone ending of xoxo droplets is worth playing again to get? 

Nope, haha. The goal is to make friends/get a boyfriend and so the alone ending is kind of the bad ending for the game. Though there is a consolation prize if you get it by accident.

Is there any possible situation which would ever prompt Pran to bake for his girlfriend? Like I know it's unlikely I mean even if JB broke her leg somehow I'm pretty sure he'd still be like "I considered baking you a cake and doing the frosting the way I think looks interesting but you don't deserve a cake, no one does." right but also ahhh it would be super nice if some day he just surprised her with baked goods one day out of nowhere. JB would be so shocked it would be cute. So is there any possible situation where that could/would be a thing that he would do? 

He might bake out of spite, like if he felt he had to prove her wrong on something. Or if JB used some good reverse psychology on him. Or he might do it in a relatively nice way if he could make his GF so shocked by the kind gesture that his amusement with that overrode his insistence on not being sweet. Pran is very difficult in high school, aha.

Is the "one route (where) it can be seen that Everett will drop his seemingly eternal waging with Jeremy pretty easily and can start getting along without thinking much on it" the Lucas route? I'm curious! 

Yep! Everett will side with Jeremy if it’s between him and Lucas.

Hi I hope you guys are having a great day :) I just had to ask how Cliff would feel about Cove's partner/fiancé Mc calling them dad whether it be accidental or otherwise and secondly I also wanted to ask how he would feel about being asked to be the one to give the mc away at their wedding. 

He would be very touched and excited! I hope you have a good day too :D

Hello! I saw an ask relating to whether Cliff "moves on" after Cove's grown up and stuff (and he stays single), but what about Kyra? Will she be with anyone else or will she stay single? 

She does start dating again, but she takes it slow.

Hi! I absolutely love the art for characters in OL and I wonder is this fine to draw my MC in same drawing style and upload online later? Is this something artists would be okay with? Thank you! 

Yeah, you can certainly do that C:

Hey there!

I wonder if I'm just being stupid here.. Is Step 4 a DLC? And if so, where can I find it? I can't seem to find it on Steam :< Thank you!

Step 4 is a free epilogue! It’s not done yet, but once it is finished you’ll just update your game file and Step 4 will be there after Step 3 ends.

hi! are step 4 and the wedding dlc two different things?

They are. Step 4 is a free epilogue that’ll be a default part of the game once it’s done, the wedding DLC is an optional paid expansion that takes place after Step 4.

Why did Baxter not receive a step 2 sprite seeing how he shows up later

Sprites are time consuming to draw and take money out of the budget that could’ve gone to other things. His tiny appearance in Step 2 wasn’t worth all the effort to make a sprite, aha.

I just realized, what happens if if you get the patreon exclusive moment but at a later date, when you don't have the membership anymore, it's updated (like a bugs fix update for example)? Would you have to get the membership again? 

You would have to get the membership again to redownload the build. But there’s very little chance there’s going to be an update once it’s been out for over a month. If a build gets released with errors, players catch/report them within the first few days. So by the time the first subscription period ends, any problems that were noticeable would already have been fixed. And we’re certainly not gonna be adding new content to it once it’s been released for a long time. There’s no need to worry about missing out on something worthwhile in the future if you cancel your membership. It’s being made with the idea in mind that many players are gonna be getting it and then going.

Hello! Wanted to ask about gaming choice in step 3? Once upon a playthorugh I got the option to buy Cove a bracelet for his graduation present. I played the same basic character again and that option wasn't there anymore. I'm not sure where I went wrong. My Cove wears a bracelet on each hand and my MC is into fashion and jewelry. Do I need to put an earring on him or? Sorry, love your game so much. 

He also needs to have liked bracelets in Step 2 for that to be considered a good gift option for him. Sorry for the confusion! I’m happy you love the game :)

Is Step 4 being released at the same time as the Wedding DLC or will the first come before the latter? Thank you! 

I’m not sure. Ideally they’ll come out at the same time, but the wedding DLC has a lot of art to get done and we may have to release it after Step 4.

Can mc still get confession from Cove at the end of step 3 even if mc casually dates Baxter in step 3? Such as in crush mode? 

I don’t think so. Maybe that’ll change, but generally there’s differences to the Step 3 ending if you were dating Baxter and those differences likely will conflict with getting the Cove confession.

For the patreon moments/dlcs, will it be available for all tiers? 

It’ll be available for tier 2 (Fans) and up!

[ichigo-daifuku]

See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil [1]

Fandom: Shall We Date?: Obey Me! Pairing: Diavolo/F!Reader Genre: Soulmate AU, Fake Relationship (?), Misunderstandings, Fluff, Angst

Synopsis: During a confrontation between Diavolo and a certain witch who harbors unrequited feelings for him, he declares his intention to ask you to stand beside him in reigning over the Devildom someday. You conclude only one logical explanation for the insanity he uttered: this is his way of discouraging the witch from being so persistent. Although clueless, you play along and become ‘lovers’ with him.

Inevitably, your existing attraction for Diavolo grows, but the distinction between truth and lies, the crisscrossed lines of the right and the wrong, and the question of what’s real and what isn’t, begin to plague your mind and stir up trouble for your relationship with him with each passing day.

Entangled within the woven threads of soulmates and a royal prophecy, this is the story of the Demon Prince and his future Queen: you.

1 | 2 | 3 Chapter 1: See No Evil Word Count: 5k

A soulmark was an extreme rarity in the human world, a one in a million blessing the lucky ones were bestowed with. You knew no one who possessed one but were acquainted with many who were enamored by it and longed to receive such a privilege. A strange fascination enveloped the world whenever it was mentioned; with romance, fate, and destiny being constant subjects of both fiction and nonfiction works and media. The certainty of someone out there meant especially for you, to have and to hold, appealed to the majority. 

You were a part of the minority.

From the very first time you had learned of the idea, one thing has struck you clearly: rather than a blessing, soulmarks were a curse. To have a predetermined person you were supposed to spend the rest of your life with was the universe’s way of taking away your free will. The notion alone was suffocating. Nevertheless, while you wanted nothing to do with this system, fate had a funny and sadistic way of doing things.

On the night of your eighteenth birthday, the telltale sign of the burning sensation on your spine was all you needed to suspect a soulmark had emerged on your skin. Despite this, you convinced yourself you were wrong. It was rare, and there was no way you would be gifted with such a thing, especially since you had expressed a clear dislike for it. In an attempt to crush your worries, you marched to the vanity in the corner of your room and sat on the stool with your back on the mirror. You raised your shirt halfway and turned your head to peek. Above the hem, the tip of an ink-like marking, which hadn’t existed before, rested. The shock and horror of the sight drove your fingers to tremble and release the fabric, your eyes wide as you turned away. The exposed portion had been too little, but you were certain, imprinted on your spine was the lifelong sentence you despised—a soulmark.

You were the master of your own fate, and no soulmark could tell you otherwise. As more anger and resentment bubbled inside you, you decided that for the rest of your life, ignorance would be bliss. With this resolve, you stood, walked away, and pretended this fiasco never happened. Whatever it was that rested on your back, you vowed to never look at and considered to never exist. When somebody asked you if you had a soulmark, the prospect of the look of wonder they would give you made you want to roll your eyes and scoff, and you would smile and reply with a negative. After that night, you grew out your hair and made sure it would always be long enough to add coverage to your back whenever possible. You said goodbye to clothing that required to be zipped from behind and never once more turned to see your back’s reflection in the mirror. Sometimes, when you bathed, the soap and water running over your spine caused the curiosity you’d tried to suppress for as long as possible to spike, but each time, you fought the urge and succeeded. 

It was difficult at first, but since you had put your mind into it, time passed, and you adjusted to this lifestyle. Only reminded of the truth once in a blue moon, you did everything you could to conceal your dirty little secret from everyone else.

At present, you were an exchange student at the Royal Academy of Diavolo in the Devildom. Many things you had never thought to be possible were proven otherwise by your stay in this world. One thing, though, has never changed: your secret remained one you never dared to utter.

Everything in your life was in its rightful place until a fateful day when it all began to topple over like a house of cards.

One morning, the House of Lamentation was empty save for you. Lucifer informed you a week ago about their agenda today: to entertain a special guest, a certain illustrious witch, in the Demon Lord’s Castle. You offered your assistance in welcoming whoever she was, but Lucifer shook his head and declined readily. If you didn’t know better, you’d say he had paled, but you assumed he was tired and stressed out due to the preparations of their gathering. As the witch had requested the presence of all seven of the demon brothers, you were left home alone for the weekend.

The skirt of your white dress flowed backward as you made your way to the kitchen with a skip in your steps. To avoid sweating too much, you placed your cardigan aside, tied your hair, and donned an apron. You opened the cupboards in search of ingredients for pancakes and checked the pantry for strawberries, chocolate toppings, and a new bottle of maple syrup to replace the empty one in the kitchen. Determined, you prepared yourself to make a huge batch to share with the demon brothers, and more especially for Beelzebub, later when they returned.

The sound of the doorbell piqued your interest and led you to pause from mixing the pancake batter. Three possibilities of who could be behind the door left you guessing as you washed your hands and rushed to the entrance. Most likely, it would be the Akuzon delivery man who frequented the house due to Leviathan’s online shopping addiction. If not, it would be Mammon’s debt collector who was very persistent and difficult to drive away. Or it could also be an ‘acquaintance’ of Asmodeus looking for ‘a good time’.

To your surprise, the one who was behind the door was neither of those three.

The Prince of the Devildom stood in front of you in all his glory, dressed in a red button-down shirt and black trousers. It confused you why he would be at your door at this time of the day. The demon brothers were at the castle, and you assumed he would be there as well. “Lord Diavolo? What brings you here?”

“Good morning!” Diavolo greeted, unfazed by the surprised expression on your face. “I thought I’d drop by and say hello.”

“Hello to you, too,” you replied and gave him a shy smile. “This is a pleasant surprise. Have you had breakfast yet?”

“I had to leave quite early, so I haven’t.”

“Would you like to come in and have breakfast with me? I’m cooking some human world food.”

“You don’t mind?”

“If you’re not busy, I’d appreciate the company.”

“Then, I accept.”

“Great! Please wait for me in the dining room.”

With a nod, Diavolo passed the threshold and shut the door behind him. You spun around and stepped forward, eager to finish cooking and share a meal with him. Although you received no reply from Diavolo, his footsteps were audible as he followed you. The burning sensation of his gaze caused you to glance at him from your shoulder, proven correct as his eyes shifted from your dress to your face.

“Is something wrong?” you asked.

Diavolo smiled and shook his head. “Everything’s perfect.”

“If you say so.”

The prospect of having breakfast with Diavolo left you excited. You had always enjoyed his company, and with everyone else occupied, you had a rare moment of being alone with him. It had been a while since you last dined together, and that time had been to check up on you and ask how you were liking your life as an exchange student so far. Ever since you had met him, he had been nothing but nice and well-mannered, though he did have a mischievous side that kept you on your toes. He frequently schemed of ‘fun’ activities centered on you and the demon brothers, and now, your mind would wander to him when something was suspiciously amiss.

You couldn’t deny how his sinfully good looks left you swooning when he wasn’t looking, but you weren’t naïve enough to be unaware your silly attraction to him was one-sided. It wasn’t as if you were pining for him. Even if your status as an exchange student from the human world opened up numerous possibilities for you to admire him from up close—like now—in the theoretical sense, you were only admiring him from afar. Still, as he entered the kitchen and offered to carry the trays to the dining room despite your half-hearted protests, insisting it was the least he could do, the domesticity of your interactions made butterflies float in your stomach.

“It’s delicious,” Diavolo commented. Elegantly, he sliced another portion of the pancake and took a bite. “This takes me back to the time when you cooked human world food for us during the retreat at the castle.”

“Yes, Solomon’s cooking was certainly… memorable.”

He grimaced. “Indeed.”

You chuckled and took a sip of your coffee, feeling warmth and contentment as your conversation flowed with ease.

As you and Diavolo conversed about the topic of demons in human media, with you telling him how their kind was portrayed and him debunking their inaccuracies, the front door swung open and slammed shut.

“Oh, they’re back already?” You perked up and stood, stepping out to welcome the demon brothers. 

Diavolo shook his head with a grim look in his eyes. He followed suit and faced the entrance of the dining hall, making sure his form was hiding you from sight. “No, I’m afraid it’s someone else. Please stay back, and let me handle this.”

“What are you talking about? Who could possibly be there—”

“Diavolo,” a sultry voice called.

The click-clack of high heels filled the silence as the owner of the voice entered the vicinity. Out of curiosity, you peeked from Diavolo’s shoulder and saw an attractive woman sauntering toward him, her eyes trained on his face, and a sly smile gracing her lips. She was someone you’d never encountered before. You were sure of this fact as her voice alone was remarkable, and she was even more beautiful than any of the succubi you shared classes with.

“Maddi,” Diavolo returned.

“Is that the way to greet an old friend?”

“How are you doing? All seven of the demon brothers were present at the castle. I take it they gave you a warm welcome?”

“They did, but it wasn’t warm enough,” she replied, crossing her arms. “You weren’t there.”

You had heard of her before. She was known as The Great Witch Maddi, and apparently, she was the special guest at the Demon Lord’s Castle. If that were the case, then why was she here, and where were the demon brothers who were tasked to welcome her?

Diavolo shook his head, retaining his cordial demeanor. “I have more important matters to attend to.”

“Is that so?” she queried, her voice dripping with disdain and amusement. “Anyway, I’m curious why you chose Solomon over dear old me for the exchange program. He’s a shady one, isn’t he?”

And you’re not? You bit back the sarcastic retort and opted to step forward to defend your friend. “Solomon is a powerful wizard who has made pacts with seventy-two demons, making him a suitable candidate and choice for the exchange program.”

Maddi’s eyebrows shot up in irritation as she sent a spiteful glance your way, her lips curving into a sneer. “Oh, who might this be? A human?”

Smiling, you held your head high and opened your mouth to introduce yourself. “Yes, I am—”

“Nevermind Solomon. You chose this plain and regular human over me?” Maddi asked, pointing her index finger in your direction, her tone condescending and accusatory.

For some reason, it was evident she wasn’t referring to the exchange program exclusively any longer. Was she Diavolo’s ex-lover? From the three minutes you had spent in her presence, it was easy to see how Maddi was so used to getting her way that it upset her whenever it didn’t happen. Truthfully, you couldn’t imagine Diavolo cozying up with someone like her. Since she had arrived, Diavolo has been trying his best not to look like he swallowed something unpleasant, even if the meal you served him was anything but. You’d never seen him this way before. He disliked her, which was strange because Diavolo liked everyone; he was one of the most pleasant beings you had met among the three worlds.

“It would be best for you to watch your tone, Maddi.” Diavolo placed an arm around you and stroked your clothed skin with his thumb comfortingly. “She’s not just any human.”

“Don’t joke around, unless…” Maddi narrowed her eyes, gritting her teeth. “Don’t tell me… Is it her? The one the prophecy is talking about?”

Prophecy? What prophecy?

The atmosphere was tense. You were in the dark about what was happening, but you understood bits and pieces from their exchange. As your mind wandered with speculations, Diavolo’s response almost made you choke on your spit.

“Yes,” he confirmed proudly.

“It can’t be! It was supposed to be me!” Maddi cried out. “No, no, no!”

“There’s nothing you can do about it,” you finally spoke up, making your statement as vague as possible to conceal your cluelessness.

“Shut up!”

You snapped, “You barge in my home, talk badly about my friend, and now, you’re telling me to shut up?”

“Home? This is the House of Lamentation.”

“I know. I live here.”

Diavolo stepped forward in an attempt to keep Maddi away from you. “Maddi, stop it this instant.” 

Maddi shook her head. “Diavolo, there must be a mistake—”

“This is hardly the time and place for it, but I’ve been thinking about it for a long time, and now, I’m certain she’s the one in the prophecy,” Diavolo stated. He shot a fond smile your way and dropped the bomb on Maddi… and you. “She’s going to be the future Queen of the Devildom… if she accepts, that is.”

Eyes wide, you took a moment to steady yourself, taken aback.

What in the Devildom is he talking about?

There was only one logical conclusion for the insanity he uttered. It was obvious how Maddi had unrequited feelings for Diavolo, and this had to be his way of stopping her from being so assertive. If it would help Diavolo, of course, you’d be willing to do it, you would play along.

Sighing, you looked at him with a gentle smile and said, “Of course, I would accept.”

“You would?” Diavolo’s gaze shifted back to you, unable to mask his surprise at your agreement, hopeful. Since you had figured out his game, you caught the double meaning in his words, and you hoped he had caught yours as well.

You nodded. “Yes.”

“I won’t let you!” Maddi interjected. She stepped forward and raised her hand to your direction, a glow over the hollow of her palm as she opened her mouth to say the incantation to hex you, or worse, put a lifelong curse on you.

You shut your eyes and braced yourself for the impact, but before Maddi could do anything harmful, Diavolo encircled her outstretched wrist in a firm grasp. “I’ll think twice before doing that if I were you.”

Slowly, you opened your eyes. You were welcomed by the rare sight of Diavolo’s serious, livid expression, leaving your breath caught in your throat. 

“I hate you!” Maddi spat, her eyes full of scorn and unshed tears as she glared at you. She stormed off and slammed the door, leaving the two of you speechless.

At long last, quietness filled the room once again. In shock, you stared at the spot Maddi had occupied and processed what had happened until Diavolo tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear and caught your attention.

He sighed. “I apologize for her behavior.”

“There’s no need for you to apologize. It’s not something you have control over.”

“I appreciate you saying that,” he replied with a small smile forming on his lips. “Did you mean it? You’re okay with this?”

You blinked. From what you had witnessed, Maddi was a handful. A possibility she wouldn’t let what happened slide and come back to haunt you was looming over your head. You were already on her hit list, and frankly, it would do you no harm to continue playing along with Diavolo’s charade. It would keep you safe, and it would help him continue driving her off. There were only a few months left until the exchange program was over. Your arrangement would end by then. There was nothing for you to lose.

“Sure.”

The demon brothers, who rushed home to stop whatever Maddi had plotted, arrived fifteen minutes too late. You and Diavolo were having the last of your coffee by the time they barged inside the House of Lamentation. Promptly, Diavolo and Lucifer had a meeting in the study room concerning the situation with Maddi. As for the rest of the demon brothers, they fawned over you and made sure you were unharmed while those who had the unfortunate luck of encountering Maddi prior to this mess shared accounts of their experience. The conversation soon shifted to all of them ranting about Maddi’s cunning behavior during her escape from the Demon Lord’s Castle. Even though none of them said it, they felt terrible for being unable to fulfill Diavolo’s request which resulted in putting you in unnecessary danger. You assured them you were fine, sneaking glances at the direction of the study room from time to time.

After half an hour, Diavolo and Lucifer concluded their meeting.

“Let’s continue this discussion tomorrow,” Lucifer said as the two of them emerged from the study room.

Diavolo nodded. “Yes, let’s meet at the Student Council Room after class.” 

You wondered about the specifics of their discussion, but before you could dwell on the thought, Lucifer turned to you and requested, “Will you accompany Diavolo to the door?”

“Of course.”

“See you all tomorrow,” Diavolo told everyone, gesturing for you to lead the way. “Let’s go.”

In comfortable silence, you walked beside Diavolo along the hallway. Your encounter with Maddi replayed inside your head, and though every word she had said screamed her dislike for you, a tiny part of you felt terrible for her and the pain of her rejection. She must have liked Diavolo a lot—loved him, even—but the feeling wasn’t mutual. From your perspective, that sounded awful. 

You halted your steps once you reached the entrance, addressing him as he pushed the door open. “Have a safe trip home. Thank you for today, Lord Diavolo.”

He paused and regarded you with amusement. “Just ‘Diavolo’ is fine. Call me by my name.”

“Okay.” You nodded. “Diavolo.”

“Good girl,” he said, tucking a stray lock of hair behind your ear and bidding you goodbye.

The rest of the day passed by in a blur. After excusing yourself, you went straight to your room and plopped down on your bed, the morning’s events still occupying your mind. With how trivial the day had begun, you never expected the circumstances to progress this way. Your thoughts inevitably wandered to Diavolo, the serious expression you had witnessed from him burned in your memory. Somehow, you felt closer to him than you had ever been because of this experience. As the tenderness in his voice and touch from your last interaction left you restless, you reminded yourself this was all for show, and you had a new challenge ahead of you.

When Beelzebub knocked on your door to summon you for dinner, a part of you was unsettled for the questions the demon brothers would ask you about Diavolo. After everyone arrived and began eating, Lucifer relayed what happened with Maddi first and foremost, and then, revealed the ‘truth’ about you. He stated how Diavolo confirmed this morning that you were the one in the prophecy, the prospective Queen of the Devildom. 

“Haha! Ya tryin’ to be a joker, Lucifer? C’mon anyone can do better than that!” Mammon laughed at Lucifer’s ‘poor attempt at humor’ and downed his lemon juice in one go.

“If anyone here is a joke, it’s you, Mammon,” Lucifer said, shooting his younger brother’s idea down with a fierce glare. 

“Wh…? No way! You’re... You’re actually serious?”

Lucifer pinched the bridge of his nose. “We’ve been having this conversation for fifteen minutes. How many times do I have to tell you?”

“In any case,” Leviathan interjected, sounding excited, “this is even better than the plot of I’m A Succubus Who Fell In Love With Heaven’s Number One Angel! What a turn of events… and posted!”

Satan sighed, regarding Leviathan with a look of exasperation. “Did you really need to make a social media update?”

“Duh,” Leviathan replied, typing away his next post.

Beelzebub, who had been busy eating this whole time, paused and swallowed a bite of steak, peering at your face worriedly from beside you. “Hey, will he make you happy?”

“He better,” Belphegor stated with narrowed eyes, both sleepy and threatening, “or else…”

“To be honest with you, I am kinda worried,” you admitted, finally speaking up. “Not about Diavolo, though, but…”

“If it’s Maddi you’re worried about, say one word, and she’s going to be taken care of, I assure you,” Satan said.

“Breaking News: Satan has just made a threat against The Great Witch Maddi. How scary the Avatar of Wrath is…” Leviathan commented, “and posted!”

Satan attempted to snatch Leviathan’s phone but failed. “Give me that!”

Although menacing, the words of comfort Satan offered you made you chuckle. “Thanks, Satan.”

“Of course.” Satan sent you a firm nod and went back to trying to get Leviathan’s phone.

“Well?” Asmodeus prodded from the other side of the table, placing his eating utensils down to fold his fingers.

“What is it, Asmo?” you asked.

“What are you waiting for? Spill the beans!”

“Don’t. I’ll eat them instead—”

“Not those beans, Beel.” Asmodeus shook his head and made a show of clapping his hands. “I’m talking about Lord Diavolo!”

Spill the beans about Diavolo? From what you had gathered from Lucifer and Mammon’s conversation, Diavolo told none of them, not even Lucifer, of the true nature of your charade. You trusted his decision, but while you kept your composure on the outside, internally, you began to panic. Did Asmodeus suspect something?

You cleared your throat and took a sip of your drink, feigning nonchalance as you asked with caution. “What about him?”

“Come on, you know what I’m talking about. Have you done it with him? Is he good in bed—no, scratch that—how good is he in bed? Does he prefer it rough or gentle? Which position is his favorite? How big is his—”

“Not another word, Asmodeus,” Lucifer’s booming voice demanded everyone’s attention, and the chatter and the sound of cutlery ceased at once. “Not. Another. Word.”

Asmodeus frowned but relented, picking up his utensils to continue eating his meal.

You had no idea how to answer the question Asmodeus posed, and you couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief as the subject was shut down before it could even begin, silently thanking Lucifer’s aversion to the topic for saving you from responding.

The conversation shifted to more trivial matters, all of which you were more than happy to participate in, as long as none of them concerned you and Diavolo. Soon, you were laughing with everyone again. The mood was lighter, and the food was more enjoyable. Once dinner ended, you returned to your bedroom and reveled in the fact you survived the whole ordeal. No one but you knew the truth about your situation with Diavolo. The less who knew, the less complicated it was. It was best to keep it that way.

After you took your cardigan off and hung it aside, you began your routine for the night, thankful for the mundane task to keep your mind off things. As you changed into your pajamas, the fabric running over your spine sent a conscious feeling of your soulmark all over you, but as always, it didn’t matter. You fought the urge away, and your secret remained safe, even from you.

Turning the lights off, you laid in bed and stared into the abstract patterns in the ceiling, adding one more secret to those you had to keep.

The next day, the news of the confrontation Diavolo, Maddi, and you had at the House of Lamentation spread like wildfire all over the academy. Succubi sent impressed—some, envious—glances your way while incubi followed your form with unrepressed interest as you made your way to your classes. A few demons shook your hand and introduced themselves when you went to the cafeteria to eat lunch while a few others glanced at you with fear, much to your confusion. The scrutiny in their gazes was nothing new, but the way it increased tenfold had you on the edge all day. The moment Seductive Speechcraft, which was your final class for the day, was dismissed, you bolted out of the classroom at once, sighing when you reached the first floor.

What a day, you thought.

As you had haphazardly put them on, you fixed the straps of your backpack on your shoulders and slowed your pace as you made your way to the exit. Once you reached the courtyard, however, to your surprise and panic, Diavolo was making his way to you, an exhausted Lucifer in tow.

A glance around the area made it seem as if no one was around, but you knew better. With the way everyone had been watching you like a hawk since you stepped inside the campus this morning, the demons interested in your affair with the Prince of the Devildom were present but hiding from plain sight.

“There you are,” Diavolo said, his tone elated and satisfied. He turned to Lucifer and addressed him, “I’ll take it from here. Thank you very much for your assistance, Lucifer.”

“You’re welcome.” Lucifer nodded, shooting an exasperated glance at you and Diavolo. “Seriously, it’s only been a day, and the two of you are already such a handful…”

With a shake of his head, Lucifer left the two of you to your devices and climbed the staircase on the way to the Student Council Room.

As soon as Lucifer was out of sight, Diavolo stepped closer to you and moved to give you the item he was holding. “Here.”

“For me?”

“Yes.”

You outstretched your hands and accepted his gift: a budding Mirage Flower in a little crimson pot with a golden ribbon tied around its center. Colorful iridescent petals glimmered in the most enchanting way you had ever witnessed, and you took a moment to appreciate their beauty. Every time you happened to see this flower, that time when you and the brothers were all worried about a ‘thief’ running around in the Devildom and stealing this plant, valuable and an endangered species, from the Western Forest would pop inside your mind. The ‘thief’ turned out to be Diavolo, who had been sneaking into the forest and moving the flowers to the academy in hopes they could be admired by the denizens in this world better. It had given you and the brothers a shock when you found out, but all in all, it was a funny memory to look back on.

However, as you held the flower pot in your palm, where it fit perfectly, another thought struck you and led you to blurt out, “H-Hold on. Isn’t this illegal?”

Diavolo let out a booming laugh, his head thrown back and his hand over his stomach, neither confirming nor denying your assumption.

“Diavolo…” You twirled the end of the ribbon with your index finger, truly questioning the legality of his gift.

“You forget,” Diavolo said as he smiled mischievously, “that I’m the Prince of the Devildom.”

“Even so. Is it really okay for me to have a Mirage Flower?”

“Of course.” He nodded, a finger reaching out to touch the flower bud gently. “I wanted something unique to be the first flower I would give to you, and I know you’ll take care of it. Besides, you’re a thousand times more special than any Mirage Flower in the Devildom.”

Right. You were supposed to be the future Queen of the Devildom.

It would’ve been such a shame if the Mirage Flower had been plucked and left to wilt in time. This flower was too precious for such treatment. You were grateful for Diavolo’s foresight, preferring to receive such a special flower this way. As you warmed up to his gift, you thought of the spots you could place it in once you arrived home and decided you’d put it on your windowsill and water it as needed. “Thank you. It’s really beautiful. I promise to take very good care of it.”

“It’s my pleasure,” Diavolo said, one of his hands reaching out to stroke your hair and cup your cheek. His golden eyes gazed straight at your own intently, and you couldn’t find it in you to look away.“I’m looking forward to this weekend.”

Confused, you cocked your head to the side, unintentionally leaning into his touch. “Why? What’s going on this weekend?”

Diavolo took your free hand in his and kissed the back of it, his warm lips leaving a tingling sensation in their wake. “Our first date.”

Several gasps erupted from the students hiding from various spots around you, and a few loud squeals followed. A camera flashed from a photographer from the RAD Newspaper Club who had stumbled upon the scene by accident, documenting this moment for future reference. At this point, everyone was done trying to conceal their voices, the scene in front of them too interesting to ignore, sparking numerous conversations among them. You overlooked the ruckus, your attention solely focused on the man in front of you, your heart beating like a drum as you smiled shyly.

“I’m looking forward to it, too.”

Notes: As of writing, we have yet to see how Maddi is truly like in canon.

Thank you for reading! This is a work in progress. I’d love to know your thoughts on the story so far if you’re keen on sharing them. (◍•ᴗ•◍)✧*。

See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil

Obey Me! Masterlist | Main Masterlist

[wolf-and-bard]

Dead or Destitute

- a geraskier fic (warnings for blood, mild gore, swear words)

"What the fuck?" Geralt snarled at Jaskier who had just opened the door, wearing an amiable smile and the most ridiculous robe of silver-broquaded burgundy that flared out at the sleeves and the bottom with frilly cuffs. It was buttoned closed save for the top three which fell open to reveal a glorious patch of chest hair. Jaskier's lips looked wine-stained, his hair was tousled, but when he saw Geralt the haze of light intoxication lifted into a brilliant grin. A grin that went straight into Geralt's heart. Fuck. "Geralt. Didn't expect you to come calling, how'd you know I was around?"

"I didn't." "What? Then why are you here?" "Uh..." Geralt cocked his head. Sniffed. Yes, definitely red wine, but only half a glass. Jaskier wore a new perfume too, rose scented. He was partial to almost all flower scents whereas Geralt couldn't stand them. He preferred Jaskier's natural odour. "I'm looking for the Viscount de Lettenhove? Some Duchess from Novigrad sent me because apparently he owes her a large sum of money. You know this man?" Obviously, Jaskier knew this man. If the state of his appearance was anything to go by, he had probably been thoroughly engaged with this man before Geralt had knocked. Which caused an uneasy twinge Geralt pointedly ignored. So, Jaskier was courting trouble once more, nothing new here. "Sorry, what? Sent you? Geralt, are you playing debt collector?" Jaskier asked, stepping closer. The smile was persistent, stuck to his lips as he brushed a spot of Roach hair from Geralt's chestplate. The undertone of that statement, however, was accusatory which made Geralt defensive. "It's not like I enjoy it, but I've been going through a drought and it's like the monsters are hiding or something. Needed to feed myself." "Shit, that bad?" Jaskier crossed his arms, eyes raking up and down Geralt's body to look for signs of destitution. To the outside world, Geralt knew he looked like a regular old Witcher, but Jaskier might just be able to tell the smaller signs of his dry streak. "I will manage." He always did. "So, where is this man? Viscount. Whatever." "He's standing before you." "What... you?" "Surprise? Honestly, I had always assumed that you knew." Knew that Jaskier was secretly nobility? Geralt wrecked his brain for conversational fragments he might have overlooked, information he had simply forgotten, and came up short. "I didn't." "Well, now you do. Oh, but this is fun. Say, Sir Witcher," Jaskier licked his lips and peered up at Geralt from under thick lashes, the blue of his eyes stark in the waning light of day. Geralt furrowed his brow. "Are you entirely sure that I have to pay you back in coin?" Jaskier winked and something boiled over in Geralt's chest, bubbled up from out of nowhere. Gods, this man was infuriating. "Is this what you do when you owe people? Suck their cocks to get them off your back?" Geralt didn't give two fucks how that sounded. Jaskier might not be gifted with enhanced perception, but even he could comprehend jealousy when it was so blatantly put before him. As it was, Geralt's voice was drenched in it. Jaskier let out a humorless laugh, harshly contrasting his earlier mirth, and put his hands to his hips. "That's the road you wanna take with this? Truly? I had meant it as a jest, Geralt. In case you hadn't surmised from the fact that am a travelling bard, usually I'm not here when tax lawyers and debt collectors come calling and it's not like I constantly owe anyway. Besides, I can suck on whatever cock I like to." Technically, sure. It was just that Geralt wanted it to be his and only his. He couldn't very well say that, so he went for the second-best emotion he felt in regards to Jaskier pulling out sexual favours. "I just don't want you to whore yourself out, someone could hurt you," he said and was rather proud of how earnest that came out. "I'm not, I wasn't. I was just being flirtatious," Jaskier sighed, anger deflating. "Why would you be flirtatious with me?" "Why ever? Now that is a question I will only answer when I've had at least a bottle of Lambert's home-brewed vodka." "What?" "Never you mind. Come in, I may be dead broke, but I can still offer you a cup of tea." Jaskier stepped aside to let Geralt into a square foyer/living area which had a skylight and several settees and couches scattered around it. Three doors lead away from it as well as a winding staircase that disappeared behind a velvet curtain. The middle of the room was dominated by a table with half a dozen chairs, its light surface covered in parchments and dirty dishware. Jaskier's lute case sat next to the door, his traveling wardrobe was lain out over a dark purple couch. As if he had just arrived. Or wanted to be ready to leave at a moment's notice. "Sit, please," Jaskier said and gestured towards a back corner, the only couch without stuff on it. "Make yourself a home, I shall be right back. Chamomile, is it?" Geralt nodded absentmindedly and sat. This wasn't at all what he had expected. Neither from Jaskier nor from some Viscount. It was  a nice house, definitely excessive compared to a commoner's lodging, but it wasn't grand. It was....cosy. Jaskier returned with two mugs, plain, one chipped, and sat next to Geralt, close enough that their shoulders bumped together. "Did you wash off the perfume?" "Uh, yes. I know you don't much care for it, messes with your senses and all." Jaskier shrugged and sipped on his tea, then cursed and put it down, rubbing his lower lip. Geralt wanted to kiss it better, astounded by Jaskier's perceptiveness. Fuck. In terms of doing his job, this was going sideways. "How'd you accumulate so much debt anyway? You break an ancient relic or something?" "Ha-ha. Actually, no. This state is entirely due to my great compassion and sense of selflessness. See, I have this friend who was a gambling problem. Asked me to help out and I couldn't say no," Jaskier explained. "Are you the friend?" "No, Geralt, I'm not, but thanks for believing in me..." Jaskier mock-pouted and Geralt laughed, but quickly sobered up when he remembered how insistent his contractor had been. Either the money or the Viscount's head. Geralt would not behead Jaskier, or anyone for that matter. He had planned on a simple Axii strategy. Now... well. "You could have come to me," Geralt said softly. He emptied his tea in two drags to hide how silly he felt. Why would Jaskier have come to him? And even had he wanted to, how would he have found him? His mouth ran away with it. "We could have sorted it out, we still can." "That is very sweet of you, dear, but you literally just told me you only took this job because your short on coin yourself. Anything else, sure, yes, you will always be my first address when I'm in too deep. This is something I have to get myself out of. I could-" "No," Geralt interrupted, slamming his mug down onto the table. Tea sloshed over the rim of Jaskier's. "No. We find some contracts. Wasn't there a plague in Vizima? Sure to be loads of Ghouls and Graviers around. Besides, cities are jack-full with crowds for you to play. We could save up, there's still time." "There really isn't." "Jask," Geralt pleaded, and for what? Truth be told, there was only one simple way out of this. "The Duchess, what did she tell you to do if I couldn't pay up?" Jaskier asked, worrying his lower lip which was entirely too distracting. "Bring her your head." Jaskier gulped audibly. "Well, guess I will have to fake my own death then..." "No," Geralt said. On an impulse, he took Jaskier's hand between his own and pressed his forehead to Jaskier's knuckles. "Give me three days. If I'm not back by then, you run." "Geralt, what are you planning?" "Do you trust me?" "With all my heart," Jaskier replied without missing a beat. A dusting of pink clung to his cheeks when Geralt let go of his hand and stood. "Three days," he repeated. He promised himself to make it in half that time. Two days later saw Geralt back in Jaskier's house, exhausted from sleep deprivation and the hunt that lay behind him. He held his trophy aloft for Jaskier to see. The bard stood a few feet away from Geralt, back in his standard arrangement of doublet and shirt, all a faded, dusty violet. "Geralt, is that a head," Jaskier whispered, wide-eyed. Something clammy and cold wafted over from him, but was promptly replaced with little bursts of adrenaline that melted on Geralt's tongue when he inhaled them subtly. He grunted and dropped the head onto the table where it splattered the parchment collection and dirty silverware with blood. "Fuck me..."  Jaskier said, staring at it. The long blond curls were matted with grime, the once regal cheeks sunken in. Here was one Duchess past her zenith. "Are you not pleased?" Geralt asked and cocked his head. "This solves your problem." "It does, in a rather drastic fashion." Jaskier seemed to struggle with himself, mouthing words Geralt couldn't make out. Then, his shoulders dropped and he crossed the distance between them, put his palms flat against Geralt's chest. Tucked his face against Geralt's neck and Geralt grew very still. Careful to not give Jaskier cause to pull away. "But I thought you only killed monsters." The words came out shaky and when Geralt noticed that, he also picked up on the slightest tremor that hushed through Jaskier's body. What was going on? Had it been the wrong move after all? Geralt huffed in frustration, unable to read Jaskier after all the time they had spent together, and brought his hands up to cup the bard's shoulderblades. Jaskier shuffled closer. "Shouldn't have hired a Witcher," Geralt said. It' was a weak retort, didn't make all that much sense. The crystalline truth was that he had no ethical explanation for this, no code of conduct to refer back to. He had had more than ulterior motives for this one and, fuck, but it had been worth it. Even if Jaskier despised him for it, even if that made him the monster. He had done it to save a loved one from certain persecution, possible death. A loved one. Oh shit. "Suppose so..." Jaskier trailed off, nuzzled Geralt's neck and that was a weird feeling, created a tingle that made it hard for Geralt to swallow. The corners of his mouth twitched upward. He dared to splay his hands over Jaskier's back. "Jask?" "Yeah?" "Are you okay?" he murmured, hiding his smile in Jaskier's hair. "I'm conflicted," Jaskier admitted. "How?" "Uh... just thinking that this shouldn't turn me on as much as it does." "Oh." Jaskier peeled back a little to catch Geralt's gaze and they both burst into silly giggles. Those faded quickly, however, when Jaskier bumped his nose against Geralt's and his breath caught in his throat. Geralt tilted his head forward and dared to claim a kiss. Then two. Then a million, all at once. They broke apart for another stupid burst of laughter. Reaching behind himself, Jaskier brushed  the accumulated junk off the table, head incluced, and hopped on it, drawing Geralt between his legs. "My knight in shining armour," he sighed and kissed the corner of Geralt's mouth. "My beautiful princess," Geralt shot back. He had meant for it to come across as sarcastic, but it sounded more like a sweet declaration of surrender. "Thank you, love." "You're welcome." Geralt leaned down to kiss Jaskier properly, framing his face with both hands. They tangled up, got lost in each other, resurfaced only when Jaskier grew breathless. "Geralt?" "Hmm?" "We're still broke." Ah, fuck. Well. That was a concern for another day.

[joyful-soul-collector]

Misser Star’

By @joyful-soul-collector for @wh0doyouthinkyouareiam! 

For the @friendly-neighborhood-exchange!

Rating: General Audiences

Characters: Tony Stark, Peter Parker, Helen Cho

Summary: 

“Woah there Sea Legs,” Tony said, catching him under the arms and setting him up straight. “Wouldn’t want you hurting yourself.” “The sea is in my legs,” Peter said, clinging tight to Tony’s arm as he wobbled slightly. “What if my legs… were in the sea?” “Oh wow--this is going to be fun.”

OR

Peter gets his wisdom teeth taken out, and is a very silly lad

Story is under the cut, or you can read it on AO3!

Irondad Tag List: @phahbiyah @keep-a-bucket-full-of-stars @clevermuffinalmondpeach @stuck-in-a-fictional-universe @canonismybitch @freckledmountain @not-your-housekeeper98 @misskirkstark @iron-loyalty

Lemme know if you want to be added or removed from the tag list!

“Misser Star’, there’s clouds i’ m’ mouth,” Peter mumbled around the cotton, staring at Tony with wide eyes. Tony laughed and pulled Peter’s hand away from his mouth, as he was trying to touch the “clouds”. 

“Don’t mess with those, you need them to stop the bleeding,” Tony said with a small laugh. 

“I’m bleeding!?” Peter said incredulously. Then he suddenly gasped and grabbed Tony’s arm, a panicked look on his face. “Do they know!?”

“Know what kid?” Peter looked around dramatically then yanked Tony’s arm closer so he could whisper in his ear. 

“That I’m a spider,” he said. Tony snorted and gently worked his arm out of Peter’s death-grip. 

“You’re good, kid. You’re at the compound, Helen was the one who operated on you. You remember Helen?”

“Karen?”

“No, Helen--”

“She’s my suit lady, she’s nice. But she can’t do tooth stuff Misser Star’--”

“No, kid, Helen was the one who did the work on your teeth, she’s a doctor--”

“I know who Helen is,” Peter said, as if Tony had told him this information several times before. Tony rolled his eyes and ruffled Peter’s hair, only to laugh when Peter raised his head and leaned into his touch, eyes slipping closed with bliss. He was like a little kitten, leaning into someone scratching behind its ear. 

In fact he leaned so far he almost fell over, and Tony had to catch him by the shoulder, snorting at the panicked look on Peter’s face. 

“Jesus, Dr. Cho gave you the Good Stuff didn’t she?”

“Had to, it was the only thing his metabolism wouldn’t immediately burn through,” Helen said, making Tony jump. “You two are alright to leave now, just make sure Peter doesn’t take that cotton out too early and give him some ice when the medicine wears off.”

“Thanks Doc,” Tony said. Peter made a noise of confusion and pointed at Helen. 

“She’s not Doc Ock, Misser Star’! He has way more arms, and she’s way prettier,” Peter said. “I think you need new glasses.”

“I don’t even need glasses in the first place, kiddo,” Tony said with a snort, signing a couple papers Helen handed him. 

“Oh yeah!? Then what are those!?” Peter said, pointing directly at the square sunglasses perched on Tony’s nose. Tony raised his eyebrows at him, the determined look on Peter’s face making it hard not to laugh. 

“Sunglasses, not normal glasses,” Tony said, then he held out his arm. “Here lemme walk you back to the living quarters, I’m fairly certain you’re not gonna make it there yourself.”

“Why does the sun even need glasses?” Peter muttered as he pushed himself off the hospital bed, and almost immediately toppling over. 

“Woah there Sea Legs,” Tony said, catching him under the arms and setting him up straight. “Wouldn’t want you hurting yourself.”

“The sea is in my legs,” Peter said, clinging tight to Tony’s arm as he wobbled slightly. “What if my legs… were in the sea?”

“Oh wow--this is going to be fun,” Tony said, steadying Peter as he stumbled down the hallway to the elevator. 

Peter babbled on and on about random stuff on their way to the living quarters, Tony having to physically restrain him from pressing all the buttons in the elevator, and had to answer his questions about extremely odd yet mundane things like “why is the ceiling in the sky?” only for him to forget what he asked entirely.

When they finally arrived, Tony walked him to the couch and sat him down, and Peter immediately curled himself into a ball, knees tucked under his chin. 

“Alright kid, you wait here while I call your Aunt and let her know everything went good, alright?” Tony said. 

“Wait here,” Peter repeated, with a determined nod. “Waiting waiting waiting. Like a rock.”

At this point Tony had absolutely no clue what Peter was talking about so he just said “Sure, kiddo”, and ruffled his hair before he stepped away for a few minutes. 

“Hey, Tony,” May said when she answered. “How’s he doin’?”

“He’s alright, pretty damn loopy but fine,” Tony said, leaning against the wall of the hallway. “I’m glad you came to me about this, I was right, a normal anaesthetic wouldn’t have stood a chance against his enhanced metabolism.”

May chuckled and Tony could hear the bustle of the hospital in the background. 

“I don’t know what we’d do without you Tony,” she said. “Thank you so much--Oh, shoot, I gotta go--”

“No problem, May, I’ll take care of him till you get off work. Just call me when you’re done, I’ll drive him over,” Tony said. May thanked him at least ten times before hanging up, and Tony chuckled to himself, slipping the phone in his pocket. 

“Misser Staaaaaaar’?” Peter’s voice said from around the corner. It had a rather guilty tone to it, and Tony quickly rounded the corner to see him. 

Peter seemed to have tried to grab a blanket, and in the process, had gotten himself rather tangled in it, now lying horizontally on the couch and staring up at Tony with a wide-eyed expression. 

“Got tangled in your own web, huh Spiderling?” Tony said, smiling down at him. “Probably for your own good anyway. Might just leave you like that so you don’t get yourself in more trouble.”

Peter frowned indignantly at him, and suddenly started trying to wiggle himself into an upright position, since clearly Tony was just gonna leave him to die like this. Tony rolled his eyes and helped him sit up, but as soon as he tried to get him untangled, Peter leaned away, looking confused. 

“What?” Tony said. 

“I’m a burrito Misser Star’,” Peter mumbled, snuggling himself further into the blanket. “Spider-Burrito. Or Spider-Sushi. Or Spider-Ravioli. Or--”

“Spiders In A Blanket?” Tony suggested, and Peter’s eyes got wide. 

“Oh my god--I’m a spider, and I’m in a blanket!” Peter whisper-screamed. Then he burst into laughter, throwing his head back against the soft cushions of the couch so fast Tony thought he might give himself whiplash. 

“Jesus--Just you existing scares me kiddo,” Tony muttered, deciding tv would probably be the best distraction. Just as long as it isn’t a comedy. Kid might break his neck, Tony thought. It’s a good thing Luke Skywalker isn’t played by Jim Carrey. 

Peter stopped laughing immediately as the Star Wars theme began to play, though his loud, comical gasp proved it wasn’t just the medicine wearing off. 

“I LOVE STAR WARS!” Peter shouted, making Tony jump. 

“Jesus christ--I know ya dork,” Tony said, watching Peter bounce excitedly in his seat on the couch for a moment before sitting next to him. Peter flumped into Tony’s side, giving a deep, dramatic sigh of contentment. Tony couldn’t help but give him a little one-armed squeeze; he knew how much Peter loved hugs. 

Though he couldn’t expect Peter to be silent for more than a few minutes, now could he?

“Hey Misser Star’?” Peter said. 

“Hey Misser Parker?” Tony said, imitating Peter’s tone and voice. 

“What if I was hungry?” he said, either ignoring or completely oblivious to Tony’s teasing. 

“Um, I would get you something to eat? I think there’s some soup I could warm up for you,” Tony said, looking down at Peter with raised eyebrows. Peter looked skeptical at the idea of soup however.

“Mmm, but what if I’m only hungry for something cold?” he said. 

“Uh… you want a smoothie?”

“Something sweet and cold.”

“Smoothies can be sweet.”

“Something chocolate and sweet and cold,” Peter said impatiently. Tony rolled his eyes and looked down at Peter, who put on a very mischievous grin. He sighed in defeat. He just couldn’t say no to that silly face. 

“Your Aunt’s gonna kill me when she finds out,” Tony said, getting up with a groan. 

“No she won’t! I’ll protect you! I’m Spider-Man!” Peter said, trying to take his hands out of his cocoon/burrito, but only succeeding in tangling himself more. Tony snorted, dragging a tub of chocolate ice cream out of the freezer and scooping some out into a couple bowls. By the time he came back Peter had freed his arms and was rubbing his hands over the fluffy blanket, muttering to himself. Tony helped him take the gauze out of his mouth, which had a surprisingly small amount of blood on it, as it seems his enhanced healing had taken care of it. 

Peter ate his ice cream happily, eyes closing with bliss. 

“Ice cream is my best friend,” Peter said around his spoon. “‘Cept for Ned. And MJ. They’re better than ice cream, but ice cream is like… real good friendo. Ten outta ten, would go to the movies with ice cream.”

“Ha, me too kid,” Tony said, scraping the last remnants out before setting aside his bowl to focus better on the movie. He never cared much for Star Wars, but he couldn’t deny that the fight scenes were pretty awesome. Peter eventually nudged him with his bowl to say he was finished, and then went back to his original position against Tony’s side. 

It wasn’t until the movie was over that Tony realized Peter had fallen asleep like that, curled up tightly in the blanket, his face pressed into Tony’s chest. Tony ran his fingers through Peter’s hair for a moment, smiling as Peter relaxed even further against him. 

“You caught all that, right Fri?” Tony said, glancing up at the ceiling. 

“Of course Boss,” Friday replied. “Shall I send you the file for you to view later?”

“That’d be perfect. If there’s anything that’ll be more hilarious than Peter getting stuck in a blanket, it’ll be how red his face gets when he sees himself getting stuck in a blanket.”

Peter didn’t even wake up as Tony lifted him off the couch and down the hall to his room. He whined a little when Tony laid him on his bed, but was quickly consoled by Tony’s fingers running through his hair again. 

“Goodnight ‘Spider-Burrito.’”

[theindiegamereview]

Meet the creative team: “Spellstone”

Are you a collectible card game (CCG) fan? If so, read on, because this week we spoke to the makers of Spellstone, a free-to-play (F2P) casual story-based fantasy card game that features vibrant, colourful, hand-drawn art on hundreds of beautiful cards that you can acquire and use in battle, both against the computer and other players!

TIGR: PABLO and DUSTIN are artists who have worked on Spellstone's art, helping create some of the iconic characters Spellstone fans know and love. We asked them how they came to work on the game, as well as what intrigued them about this project.

DUSTIN: I was working as a contract artist when I was asked to create some sample cards for a potential CCG, which is something I'd always wanted to do. The samples I submitted eventually led to me getting a contract to create the initial art for Spellstone. After about four months, I was offered a full-time position. I had such a great experience working with the team that I jumped at the opportunity!

PABLO: Prior to starting work on Spellstone, I remember doing an art piece to test my skills. I greatly enjoyed that because I particularly liked this game's art style - which is actually similar to my own! There were still slight differences though, so I've had to adapt a little. Blending my own personal style into an existing one was challenging. But something that intrigued me about Spellstone was the variety of factions in the game. Each and every one opens up a big array of possibilities when it comes to creating a character. I felt my options were unlimited and I loved it!

TIGR: Spellstone features many different cards and characters. We wanted to know who conceptualises all this, and how much creative licence artists get when crafting a character. FERNANDO, currently the main artist for the game, gave us more insight.

FERNANDO:  That Spellstone has such an immense variety of characters means it's a complete and delightful dish for artists. It's hugely gratifying to find such visual diversity with which to play with. You're completely free to create, as long as you respect the game's universe and visual language.

As for the process, the concept of what a card must look like and how it must be functional in terms of gameplay comes from the guys in the game design department. Very creative people... sorcerers maybe? I don't know. Haha!

From a brief but concise description they give me, I can get a sense of what kind of character and action they want to see in a card. Once I have all the information I need to start sketching, my favourite hour finally begins: creative hour!

If the card description involves an existing type of character, like a goblin, part of the fun has to do with the way you depict that character, situation, action and specific emotion. There's also some freedom to create from scratch if needed - that's exciting and challenging! Sometimes the ideas come from a mix of characters, and that's when the laboratory inside my mind starts working: I press a button and something cool, spooky or funny comes out - whatever the game requires. Other times, new concepts require that I look for approximate references of what's needed, so that serves as the starting point. No matter what, it's always a very enjoyable process. Sometimes we have to make corrections, that's true. But as with everything in life, this is necessary for things to work properly. You may have to redraw stuff, but finally the card is done - it works, it delivers and it entertains!

  TIGR: In Spellstone, cards can be upgraded from a single to a dual to a quad, and we really like that this sometimes tells a "mini story" of of sorts through the artwork. Some are funny (we just love Honeycomb Lobber!), some cute (Bomb Spirit is soooo adorable when he’s angry!), some uplifting (Aurora Shaver ranks among our favourites), and some, um, a bit disturbing, to be honest (Cleaverstorm Hunter, anyone?!)! And some are just sad - we can't help but feel sorry for the poor li'l forest furries that presumably got devoured by Alphamech Stalker! We asked the team how they came up with ideas for all these tiny narratives, and MELINDA, one of the game designers, told us more.

MELINDA: When I was younger, there were a few creatures in video games that terrified me. One of those I remembered most was Medusa, an air jellyfish from Ecco: The Tides of Time. While traversing through a water pathway in the sky, Medusa would try to pick up Ecco the dolphin and fling him off the path. Tetraspout's concept came from that, and you can even see poor little dolphins getting swept up in its attack!

  TIGR: We asked the team if there were any cards they particularly liked creating, or found challenging to conceptualise. IVÁN, a colorist who worked briefly on the game, chipped in, as did TONY and RHADA, two of Spellstone's game designers.

DUSTIN: I loved working on the goblin cards! You could get silly with them. Frogs were a lot of fun too - the variety of colours made them interesting. For me, the water cards were challenging but I grew to love working on them.

PABLO: My favourite characters are Goblins! You can play around with them, making them look funny even when the card is telling a dark story, like a massacre. All of the cards were challenging to create!

IVÁN: I enjoyed working on Hedron The Critical Threat, Zyd The Unhinged, and some awesome Insect cards that have yet to be released (as of the time of this interview). I mostly liked them because of their cool concepts and Fernando's awesome sketches. Hedron in particular was a technical painting challenge, as it has textures, transparencies and glow!

TONY: As something of an artist myself (/sarcasm), the card I am most proud of has to be Dinged Waptor. Or really any of the cards I did for the April Fool's event, which is about the only time the art team lets me anywhere near card art. :) For April Fool's, I decided it would be funny to try my hand at drawing some cards I felt players would enjoy. So the first year I drew some original characters that consisted of a few stick figures, a chicken, and a bomb. The response was good, so the following year I continued the tradition, eventually going through and tracing some famous cards like Winged Raptor. My one rule while making these cards was that I could not erase what I did!

RHADA: We used to sell boxes that contained two new premium cards instead of one. We thought of making both cards in the box thematically linked. At the same time, while brainstorming concepts for dragons, I thought we could try to make cards that formed a bigger picture on the battlefield when placed consecutively, side by side. The initial idea was a serpent whose artwork overflowed into a second card, and after some iteration, we stumbled upon the idea of a dragon dance. The result was very cool!

TIGR: With the Spellstone story campaign recently concluded, we asked what was next in store for Spellstone fans. Would there be anymore new characters and amazing art to look forward to?

TONY: Absolutely! While the main story has come to a close, we still look forward to adding new characters, cards, and art to the game that lets our artists have fun and shows off the world of Spellstone.

TIGR: And finally, the most important question of all: would real-life Spellstone merchandise ever be made available for fans of the game? We really want a plushie of the adorable Bomb Spirit (complete with detachable bombs, perhaps?), as well as his angry counterpart, Firebomb Spirit! Also for Quetee Que and Adorabilis, please! And would there ever be any actual physical Spellstone cards produced for collectors?

TONY: I would personally love to see real-life merchandise, but we currently do not have the means to take on such an endeavour. Maybe one day we can strike a partnership with a team that can make this happen!

We thank the Spellstone team for their time and all the wonderful art assets that accompany this interview! Check out the game here on Kongregate, on Steam, or on mobile - three different ways you can enjoy this fun, cheeky and adorable CCG!

P.S. We just had to include our favourite card: Darkwater Adonis - don’t be fooled by his charms!

[alovelymoonbeam]

Green Eggs and Ham ficlet

So.....in case you haven’t noticed, I got obsessed with a new show. Its amazing. I started watching it because it looked like a fun, funny show, and I cried many times. Fun times all around, 10/10 would recommend. This fic does have a few spoilers though, so if you haven’t watched it, and want too, don’t read this yet.

Before everything, Sam hadn’t given much thought about how his actions affected other people. Rob a bank? Sure why not. Smuggle something to somewhere it's not supposed to be? Yeah, I can do that. Steal a Chickeraffe for a crazy collector? I mean, he was low on bruckles anyways. It's not that he meant to hurt others. It was just that for so long, he’d only had himself to look out for.

But now things were different. If someone asked him to rob a bank, he’d think of that one time someone mugged Guy. If someone asked him to smuggle something somewhere, he’d think of when a shipment of beans was replaced with gravel, and what a mess it had been for Michellee. And if someone asked him to steal an animal, he’d picture EB’s heartbroken face. It mattered. In a way that it didn’t before. They mattered. His family, and all the people that his actions could reach.

But old habits die hard, and sometimes they came back to bite him.

“Where did you get this?” Guy asked, holding the wallet that had been stashed in Sam’s old briefcase. 

Sam felt the shame welling up inside, along with a spark of anger. He hadn’t wanted Guy to see it, and so had hidden it, well enough that the only way that it could have been found was if Guy was going through his things. 

“Found it,” Sam said, face blank, and tone noncommittal.

“Did you find it in a Mr. Yertle’s pocket?” Guy asked, looking at the id inside the wallet.

“Does it matter?” asked Sam, snatching it away. 

“Of course it matters Sam! We only barely got you pardoned for the chickeraffe fiasco, and you’re still on probation! If you were caught stealing this then you could be thrown in jail! Again!” Guy was shouting now, and Sam’s stupid mind kept thinking of the last time he’d shouted at him. He pushed the memory down.

“I keep thinking that you’re doing better, that you’re really making an effort, but then you go and pull stunts like this!”

Sam’s guilt, and anger, and shame were fading away. Instead there was numbness. He knew what was coming. He knew it was only a matter of time. He’d tried so hard, but any minute now, Guy would tell him to get out. To leave. To never come back. And he’d be alone again.

“Okay.” said Sam, leaving before Guy had the chance. 

He wasn’t sure how, but he ended up at the secret fort Guy had built for EB on their roof. He’d worked on it for months, and Sam and EB had been practically bouncing with excitement when he finally let them see it. It was something like an observatory. A simple floor, and railings along the sides, but Guy had added all sorts of neat gadgets to the seemingly simple design, like the telescope that appeared at the press of a button. 

In retrospect, it wasn’t all that surprising. He’d used it as a refuge when he was feeling down more than once. He sat there in the dark. He wasn’t sure how long he had been there, when there was a knock at the trap door.

He didn’t answer.

Guy came in anyway. Wordlessly, he approached, and sat down next to Sam.

“Why don’t you trust me?” Sam asked.

“What do you mean?” 

“You don’t trust me. You’ve never trusted me. Not when I said green eggs and ham are delicious, not when I said to jump off the train, not when I told you that I wasn’t going to hurt Mr. Jenkins, and even now, when you know everything, and I’m trying to be good, you go through my things to make sure I’m not lying. You don’t trust me.”

Guy sighed. “I’m sorry I made you feel that way, Sam. I do trust you. You’re my best friend, how could I not? It's not that I don’t trust you. I just worry about you. A lot. And whenever something is bothering you, you just…..keep it inside. You never talk to anyone.

“I see it when you get into your moods. You act extra happy and silly to cover it up, except when you think no one’s looking. And you weren’t talking to anyone, and I just ...I wanted to make sure you were okay. I guess I probably should have just talked to you.”

“Probably,” Sam agreed, though he thought that if Guy had done this, he likely wouldn’t have said anything, and just bottled down the emotions further. 

“I am worried, though, Sam. I don’t want you falling back into old habits, and spending the rest of your life in jail.”

Sam sighed. “I am doing better. Thanks to you, and Michellee, and EB. And let’s be honest,” he said with a smile, “the cops wouldn’t be able to keep me in jail anyways.”

Guy chuckled at that. “You’d probably be able to break out in a day or two.”

“I mean, I was thinking that between you, Michellee, and EB, you could probably bail me out.”

“I don’t know, I think EB might go on a Friendship Crusade behind our backs, and bust you out on her own.”

“It would involve disguises, friendship bracelets, and possibly a chickeraffe,” Sam suggested.

The two laughed for a moment, thinking of the adventurous and resourceful girl.

“But in all honesty, I don’t want to go back to my old life. I mean, it was very exciting. But I never had this before,” he gestured to the picture of the four of them that sat against the railing. EB had painted it in her beautiful, eclectic style, and given it to Sam as a present, on what might’ve been his birthday.

“Sam, what’s wrong? And don’t lie. Really. What’s wrong?” Guy asked, his face full of concern and love for his friend.

“I’ve been doing so well.”

Guy waited, as though he expected Sam to say more. When Sam didn’t, Guy said, “Yes. You’re not in jail, you’re almost done with your probation, and you’re working towards getting a real job.”

“And I have real friends.”

“That too.”

“It scares me.”

“What does?”

“Having you three looking out for me. I mean, it's great. I love having people who care about me. It's a nice change of pace, way less lonely.”

“But?” Guy prompted.

“But it also means that I can’t afford to screw up. If I get involved with some not good people, or take a bad job, then you three could get hurt.”

“But you’re not going to do that,” Guy pointed out.

“But what if I did? What if I fell back into old habits, and I end up hurting one of you, and then I lose the other two because of it? I’ll be alone again.”

“And what if a giant meteor crashes into the house, and we all die? Sam, we could play the what if game all day, and never get anywhere. Your hypothetical situation isn’t going to happen.”

“But you can’t know that, Guy.”

“I do,” Guy answered, placing his hands on Sam’s shoulders. “I know that you would never do anything that might hurt me, or EB, or Michellee.”

“How?” asked Sam.

“Because you’re my best friend. And I trust you, Sam. I trust you not to make any decisions that would lead to anything like your hypothetical scenario.”

Sam hugged Guy, and Guy hugged him back.

After a moment, Sam pulled away. “I’m sorry I made you worry.”

“It's alright. I’m sorry I was looking through your things.”

Sam took the stolen wallet out of his pocket and handed it to Guy.

“I stole it because he was yelling at Michellee about a small miscount. She was just two beans off, and he was threatening to dock her pay, or fire her. I figured she would need some money if that happened, and if he could afford to hurt her over two beans, he could afford to help her out too. But if you want to, you can give it back.”

“Thank you, Sam.”

[a-very-fond-farewell]

The forbidden crack! Untamed prompts: 24/?

CLAMP AU n.3 [chengyu? yucheng? (JC/MXY) edition. don’t...question my taste bruh]: “Somewhere, sometime.”

[tw eating disorders mentioned + tw suicide mention (body sacrifice)]

[ok fam. ok. I get it. I would basically ship JC with a rock if it meant I could play with my crack AUs. but I have solid evidence for this one. I promise you.]

[so, “Kobato” from CLAMP is possibly my favorite series from them. it’s 6 volumes long, roughly 40 chapters (and I only recently found out there was an epilogue...even though it was not there in my published version of the series. bc your local cryptid did in fact buy the entire thing in the flesh, that’s how much I love it)]

[in this AU I’ll change some things for the sake of consistency, but I suggest you read it bc the hurt/comfort and pining is enjoyable...so...if you read my silly AU I’m afraid I will spoil the plot for u :( and that’s the last thing I want to do...I understand if you decide to go read the manga and skip my prompt. it’s ok, I’m fine, go and have fun ;-;]

[if you kept reading, hi :D]

[now. am I uncomfortable with certain common tropes in CLAMP’s work in general? yes. especially the age gaps between some of the characters, some of which are not adults. hence the reason behind the changes in this AU. but! the aesthetics fam. the beautiful drawings. the cute outfits. (*ﾉ▽ﾉ)

do you see these?? how cute would Mo XuanYu look in these fam?? I honestly hc him enjoying skirts and feminine outfits a whole lot, but you can imagine him with pants and they would be just as cute. my favorite one is the second from the left btw.]

(imagine Mo XuanYu like this btw and check out the fancomic by the same op! an anon suggested it to me a while ago and now I’m hooked!)

[other mangacaps bc you need visuals:

yeah. angry boy meets bby with a mission to accomplish, bonding over their inferiority complex. yep. I only love the nicest things in life. that’s me.

also look at my baby girl ;-; so cuTe]

[the title is from the ost from the anime series, “Itsuka dokoka de” (check it out!). the anime feels more cohesive than the original manga, possibly bc the pacing is handled a little bit better (since the manga was cut short and the end felt a bit sloppy, but the emotional engagement was still good). and I remember being 17 and crying like a baby when this song came in. if you don’t have time for the manga binge the anime instead! there are plot holes in both of them and the stories are different but still both very enjoyable if you like soft things and angsty vibes.]

[enjoy!]

*

*

When YanLi saw him for the first time in front of her door, at the beginning of spring, she thought XuanYu was too pretty and too young for his own good. Sitting across her on the floor, a tea set between them as he politely answered her questions, the boy couldn’t have looked older than sixteen yet he assured her he was of age and well into adulthood. Which seemed pretty difficult to assess, not with the way he dressed: cute button down, beret slightly askew on top of his pretty head and an old-looking suitcases in hand. She didn’t mention the stuffed black rabbit poking out from the front pocket of his luggage, which seemed more of a comfort thing than a reliable source of company.

Moreover, Jin Ling seemed transfixed by him, toddling his way towards their guest asking for cuddles... something her son had never done in front of strangers.

XuanYu refused to give his last name, nor did he have an ID he could show her, nor did he seem worried about how strange that was. And YanLi knew ZiXuan would have been against it, but she couldn’t leave the kid looking all over Lanling for a place to stay... so she gave him the only available room in their rundown pension.

She only hoped Jiang Cheng would be a nice neighbor and leave the kid alone. Who knew what horrors XuanYu was running away from, after all.

*

When XiChen heard from YanLi of her new tenant, he would have never guessed the kid to look so naive. Not in a bad way, mind you. But his smiles, for how genuine they seemed to be, looked a little bit too big. A little bit too strained not to be a distraction tactic from his part. Or maybe XiChen had lived too long surrounded by fake smiles and closed off people to not worry.

That’s probably why he gave XuanYu a job when YanLi asked him to look over the kid. More to prove himself there were still trustworthy people in the world than to give the younger man a chance. He couldn’t even pay him a full salary, not with the debt collectors breathing on his neck as he tried to run his late mother’s kindergarten.

But maybe that would have been enough for now. A starting point for something better, something new.

*

A-Yuan had always known the kindergarten used to be an orphanage back in the days, but now he had reached an age where doubts stuck to his head instead of being forgotten with the passing of time. Wen Qing and A-Ning were always busy -be it in the hospital or in university- and A-Yuan didn’t know if they loved him enough to keep him. Ever since granny had passed away he had wondered, day after day, when his cousins would have left him behind for good.

He was thinking about such things when he first met XuanYu, on the man’s first day on the job as a teaching assistant. A-Yuan was mulling over his sadness when XuanYu had come to his rescue, asking him what was wrong... before enthusiastically praising his cousins for working so hard after hearing they were late to take A-Yuan home. XuanYu stayed with him and they played on the swings as they waited for A-Ning to come pick him up, apologizing profusely.

On the way home, his cousin held him close and kissed his forehead as he asked him if he had had fun with the new teacher. And A-Yuan felt less doubtful afterwards.

*

After hearing the story from her brother, Wen Qing had made it her job to look into XuanYu and his weird approach to life in general. She took every opportunity she could grasp to spy on the younger man, lunch breaks be damned. She needed to confirm if the kid was a trust worthy person or a runaway child pretending to be older than what he actually was. Well, maybe tailing an unsuspecting young man on the streets of Lanling in scrubs and sunglasses would be considered a bit much, she could admit as much. But it was the thought that counted, no?

Her friend MianMian told her to knock it off and talk to the kid like a normal human being, but the truth was that... well, XuanYu was really too weird to be considered normal. He seldom put himself in dangerous situations without much care, such as picking up a random (and still lit) cigarette from the ground just to give it back to the person who had “accidentally dropped it”. Other times he would cross a road without looking left and right first, risking to be run over by cars at every corner. He never, never, fumbled with a phone and he frequently talked to himself... sometimes even directing his words to that creepy stuffed rabbit of his.

No thank you, Wen Qing felt safer behind light poles and crumpled newspapers held upside down. Even if that made her look sketchy as fuck.

*

Wen Ning made sure to arrive on time to pick A-Yuan up after that time, often chatting with XuanYu as they waited for his baby cousin to retrieve his backpack and raincoat. It was refreshing to speak with the younger man, no matter how weird he acted sometimes. Like that time A-Yuan asked him to tie his shoe-laces for him and XuanYu didn’t know how to do it. Or that time they caught the man taking a nap on the floor in the middle of the school hall. Or that time XiChen had ordered a cake for one of the kids’ birthday and XuanYu didn’t seem to know how to sing the birthday song.

Wen Ning had no place to judge, after all. But XuanYu’s smiles felt like balm on his heart. And if his sweet voice followed Wen Ning home as he bounced A-Yuan in his arms, well. Nobody needed to know that.

*

The last thing Meng Yao would have expected to hear that summer day when he called the kindergarten was a voice so different from XiChen’s. Startled, he had confusedly asked if the kid worked there and how so, given that the school definitely couldn’t afford to hire anyone. He ought to know. He was the debt collector.

But the kid apologized, introduced himself, and then explained XiChen had offered him a part-time job out of kindness more than out of need. The idiot. XiChen should have remembered who his money belonged to instead of taking charity cases left and right.

But when Meng Yao said as much to naive XuanYu, the other vehemently protested, surprising the debt collector with strong opinions on how he shouldn’t underestimate other people’s intelligence and kindness in the first place.

Meng Yao laughed out at that, genuinely so.

There was more to that kid XuanYu than what one would have expected.

*

Nie HuaiSang caught a first glimpse of the mystery man only in late summer, when XuanYu stepped into his cake shop to look at the display. His coworker MianMian seemed to recognize the younger man immediately, greeting him by saying they had a friend in common, namely Wen Qing. The kid merely tilted his head and answered he had never formerly met “Miss. Wen” and that he only knew who she was from what the woman’s younger brother had told him about her.

MianMian shrugged and smiled at him.

To which HuaiSang asked him what they could do for him and XuanYu... just... stopped working. Saying that he had wondered if he could do something for them instead. Apparently, Wen Ning had let it slip they were currently understaffed and needed a hand to deliver their sweets.

Delighted, MianMian set him to work, no matter how many times HuaiSang assured her they didn’t need to force the kid to help them... also because they didn’t actually have the means to pay him in kind. But XuanYu refused money altogether, simply asking them to let him help.

To their amusement (and horror) XuanYu didn’t know how to ride a bicycle, so he insisted on covering the deliveries by foot in the neighborhood instead.

HuaiSang called XiChen on the phone that same evening, asking him to give the kid some slack the following day. And maybe buy him some balm for blisters as well.

*

Jin Ling was young but he wasn’t stupid. Turning three had made him wiser, he knew as much. So he knew XuanYu was magical. He just did.

His pretty-gege talked with stuffed animals, always wore nice things, and kept in his satchel bag a vial filling up with magical candies every time he did something nice for others. A-Ling had seen it with his own eyes, that time XuanYu had put a plaster on his scrapped knee and blew on it to make the pain go away: the golden candy had appeared in the bottle out of nowhere and XuanYu had asked him to keep the secret.

And A-Ling may have been young, but he wasn’t a snitch.

No sir.

*

ZiXuan eventually stumbled upon their new tenant even though YanLi had tried everything in her power to prevent it. He was very displeased with her: taking a scrawny kid in, cutting his rent in half merely because he couldn’t afford to pay the room in full. Utter nonsense.

No matter how much this kid XuanYu praised A-Ling’s personality or YanLi’s cooking, no matter how much he smiled and made himself look accommodating and unthreatening. ZiXuan didn’t work pro bono even at the firm, let alone for his wife’s business.

Yet, when he asked to be let inside the kid’s room to formally discuss the terms of his contract (and tell him to pack his things and leave at the end of summer), ZiXuan was left speechless. There was no bed, no table or chairs. The fridge wasn’t humming and the AC wasn’t working. The only things he could see were the younger man’s clothes neatly folded in his open suitcase or hanging by the window to dry. No books, no snacks, no nothing.

Usually tenants brought their things in right off the bat, their stuff mailed in within a week after moving in. YanLi was very particular about it, she would have not overlooked something like that. But maybe she had been too busy with A-Ling these past few months and hadn’t noticed the kid was actually too poor to even breathe.

And now that he looked at him, XuanYu looked suspiciously skinny.

Was he sleeping on the floor? Didn’t he have covers for the colder season? Was his fridge broken, empty, or -gods forbid- purposely left with no power because the kid couldn’t afford the electricity bill?

“Do you actually live like this?”

XuanYu didn’t answer to that, but smiled anyway. It looked sinister in a way ZiXuan couldn’t explain, afraid of the things such a young man may or may not have endured in the past. And was maybe still enduring now.

The following day ZiXuan gave the kid their spare futon they bought in Japan on their honeymoon. They never had guests anyway and they could afford to pay for a tenant’s electricity bill every now and then, they weren’t poor.

Certainly YanLi would have agreed with him on the matter.

*

JinGy saw it. He did! He wasn’t lying! Xuan-ge was there, surrounded by darkness and shadows, looking over the children during their nap time, only a sliver of light coming from the door left ajar... casting shadows on half of his pretty face.

And he saw him reviving that stuffed black rabbit he always had on him.

The rabbit just rose on his hind legs and turned his head up and started whispering things to Xuan-ge, who nodded every now and then in deep though.

JinGyi had read about how paper-man talismans had been stuff of legends in the past. His books spoke of ancient times in which even corpses could be brought back to life. How even animals could turn into godly beasts if enough resentful energy polluted them. But he would have never thought magic could actually be real and so easy to play with.

And Xuan-ge had looked nothing but beautiful as he was talking to the stuffed animal, humming softly under his breath.

*

When Jiang Cheng dropped out of university for the second time, YanLi didn’t say anything and instead welcomed him back in his old room. So much for enrolling in law school at twenty-three, uh? ZiXuan would have been disappointed in him like the first time that had happened in his bachelor anyway, no point in avoiding the man. It was autumn anyway: it was either going back to the apartment complex or look for a new flatmate. But the school housing had rightfully kicked him out after dropping out in the middle of the academic year, so there would have been little hope for him to find a new place anytime soon.

What he did not expect to find was a new tenant living next door.

Sleeping in front of the door, clutching a satchel bag and a fucking stuffed animal on his lap.

Jiang Cheng jolted him awake and took in the sight of his shoulder length hair, his long lashes and sleepy eyes and thought he looked ridiculous. Wearing a silly hat and moccasins, purple shadows under his eyes, a confused expression on his worn out face. When asked what the hell he was doing there, sleeping out of his room instead of inside of it, the younger man said he had forgotten his keys inside that morning.

He was clearly an idiot, so Jiang Cheng walked away and returned to his room after more than a year away. If someone asked him who had rung YanLi to bring the spare keys to help the idiot he would have shrugged at them and shut the door in their face.

He didn’t have time for that, he had to think how to ask XiChen to let him back to work at the school the following day.

*

A-Qing had seen many things in life, met many horrible people, dealt with the scum of the scum... but she had yet to meet XuanYu. 

A menace. A hurricane. A fool. The amount of times she had had to scoop him up from the ground after he had clumsily slipped on invisible bananas and such should have earned her a honorary title for outstanding citizen. It’s been months since his arrival and the kids had already learned to make way whenever they saw him. He inspired fear even in their tiny heads, honestly. What a fellow teaching assistant, really.

She was just there to score brownie points for his electives and internship program to become a social service worker, that was true. But she cared about the kids enough to know she had to do something about that. The children loved XuanYu and they were this fucking close to either worship him like a small deity or criminal and something ought to be done.

The last thing she would have expected to see, however, was Jiang Cheng coming back so soon. Crawling back from university to ask to work there, wagging his tail like the lovesick dog he was. She could easily imagine what the older student would have said to XiChen, something on the line of “you know goddamn well I’m not doing it for the money. I grew up here, I don’t want to see this place crumbling down. I’m definitely not doing it because I’m in love with you and seeing you sad makes me want to gag.”

Well, maybe the last part could be considered artistic license from her part, but judging by what she could overhear behind XiChen’s office door... yep. She had definitely nailed the part about being fond of the ex-orphanage and for the rest... the sentiment was there. The pining bastard.

“Do you need anything, A-Qing?”, XuanYu asked her out of no-fucking-where, startling her as she pretended to dust off the floor very close to a door. Cheek-plastered-on-it kind of close.

“Nothing. Mind your business,” she answered, flustered as fuck.

XuanYu couldn’t be that naive, he knew what he was fucking doing. His creepy little smile so similar to the one the debt collect always had on his face. No wonder XiChen had fallen for such a tricky bitch.

“Then will you help me find JinGyi? He doesn’t want me to help him with his project for the festival and went into hiding again.”

There, that smile and knowing gaze. Judging poser. He looked much older than his alleged twenty years. He knew what he was fucking doi...

“You?!”

Jiang Cheng’s honest-to-gods screech pulled A-Qing out of her thoughts. She turned and had to witness XiChen amiably patting Jiang Cheng on the head as their boss explained him how XuanYu worked there. 

“It’s been almost six months now, he’s a very valuable kid and helped out around here while you were studying.”

Jiang Cheng was both livid and red with longing, because his touch-starved ass was all over that hand patting him platonically on the head. He was also angry, which was default for him... but there was something else underneath. Something promising in the way he stared XuanYu down.

Maybe A-Qing could win some candy by betting with the kids about such unexpected turn of events.

*

ZiZhen believed A-Yi. If his friend had told him the new teacher assistant was a witch then he was right. So they had started researching witches at the school, but only found a couple of colored books on the matter, mostly useless. All but one, telling the story of a nanny called Mary Poppins... some western thing.

But everything checked for the most part. The hat was there, every day a different one, but ultimately never leaving XuanYu’s head. The umbrella was not, but both him and A-Yuan had seen their gege with a parasol once and that was enough. His satchel contained infinite amount of things, from sweets to possessed stuffed animals, like a qiankun bag from the legends! He talked with things as if he could control them.

Well, even the teacher sometimes tried to convince the printer to work with sweet words, gently coaxing it back to life... maybe that was just how adults functioned. Even his dad would ask the fridge where his favorite cake had disappeared sometimes. Adults were weird.

*

Fuck Lanling. Rain day and night, autumn planning everyone’s demise by flooding every bloody year. Xue Yang was over it.

He took a random umbrella from the rack by the door of the convenience store and left without a second thought, already wondering what he could say to convince XingChen to offer him dinner somewhere new. The man wasn’t married anymore after all, so Xue Yang could technically have his way with him now, right?

“Excuse me!”

Xue Yang was not in the mood for people calling him out on his bullshit that night, but he turned anyway and saw the weirdest thing. A young man roughly his age, maybe a year or so younger, drenched from head to toe after rushing to him. He was panting, clutching a plastic bag full of cleaning supplies from the convenience store Xue Yang had just left.

“I believe you mistakenly took my umbrella,” the other said, pretty face framed by wet hair sticking to his forehead and cheeks.

Amused, Xue Yang shut the clear plastic umbrella he had “mistakenly taken” and held it at arm’s length by the handle, directing the pointy edge to the other like a sword. Hell if he was going to get wet himself, he needed to prove something to the idiot. He could handle a bit of rain for the sake of being dramatic.

“You want it back?” Xue Yang asked, rising his chin and arching an eyebrow at the other. The man nodded, holding his now wet beret in place on top of his head as if he was more worried about it falling on the ground than keeping his crown dry.

“I knew it was someone else’s when I took it.”

“But...?”

“And what’ll you give me back for it? What are you gonna do about it?”

This should have taught him not to mess with him: he didn’t even have to use his business tone to make the other take a step back. Meng Yao, the bastard, had taught him smiles went a long way in dealing with stupid people after all.

“Right, if I take it from you... you won’t have one to go back home with.”

Uh?

“Wait here. I’ll go buy you one at the convenience store. I’ll be back.”

Uh??

The idiot actually run back to the store and purchased him a fucking umbrella. And Xue Yang was twice as stupid because he waited for him to come back, startled as he was. The idiot was smiling megawatt bright when he came back as well, what the fuck?

The sick bastard extended the clear plastic umbrella to him like Xue Yang had done earlier, but he held it by the middle, as if surrendering his weapon. It was fairly similar to the one Xue Yang had stolen anyway, why bother asking for his umbrella back?

“Did your dead mother give this particular one to you or something?”

The bite in his words only mildly deterred the other man, who pressed his lips together before forcing an even bigger smile on his face.

“No. It’s pretty cheap. But it’s mine. It’s the first thing I bought with my money.”

Xue Yang left after that. With the stolen umbrella. Because he was still a scumbag and not a sentimental asshole. But he was very quiet that evening when XingChen treated him to some fancy takeout on his couch while lovingly drying Xue Yang’s hair with a towel.

Nothing made sense anymore.

*

Qin Su worried over Jiang Cheng. He was her best worker, but she knew for a fact that he had a million part-time jobs in town and she didn’t want to overwork him. She also knew he would give all of his hard-earned money to XiChen anyway. All to pay a stupid debt. The huge lovesick idiot.

Was he the fastest delivery driver? Yes. Was he the most well behaved of his staff? Not even close. But he was respectful enough to work over his issues and she trusted him with doing his job at the end of the day.

So when she found a young man in a frilly outfit waiting for her on the lobby of her shop asking for Jiang Cheng... well, she was pleasantly surprised.

He introduced himself as XuanYu and held a lunch box in his hands, saying Jiang Cheng had forgotten it at home. Which left A-Su properly impressed. How could a man as angry as Jiang Cheng secure himself such a lovely person was beyond her comprehension, honestly.

He was adorable and she wanted to be his sister like, yesterday.

But when Jiang Cheng came back from a delivery, entering the dumpling shop with his helmet still on, he stared XuanYu down and told him off right off the bat.

“Not you again,” he said, to A-Su’s utter confusion, “Can’t you take a fucking hint? I’m already avoiding you at work. I don’t want to be your friend.”

Something akin to hurt painted XuanYu’s feature for a fraction of a second before he could retrieve his smile and point at the lunch box.

“Your sister asked me to give this to you on my way out. A-Ling helped making rice cakes this time and wanted to hear from you if you liked them or not.”

Qin Su could have easily missed the change in XuanYu’s voice at that, that’s how much of a good actor he was. But Jiang Cheng had no face even to feel ashamed for lashing out at the kid like that. How much older could he be from XuanYu, three years? Two? Had nobody taught him some respect?

“XuanYu, if he bullies you again you come here. Am I understood?”

Like hell she was gonna let this gem of a child slip away from Jiang Cheng’s hands.

Not in a million years.

*

Song Lan breathed in and out. In and out. The clear morning air surrounded him like an old friend, hugging him closely as he clutched the papers for his divorce.

XingChen had signed them in the end. Five years together were now in the past for him.

Maybe they had been too young back then, when they had taken the chance to get married the moment the government announced the change in the law for people like them. How old have they been, twenty-three? Twenty-four? Another lifetime. An existence away.

He wished he could cry. It would have been easier.

But, as he turned a corner, someone stumbled into him and sent the papers scattering on the sidewalk. Song Lan tried to save them from being dirtied on a puddle but was unsuccessful. He didn’t know why he bothered anymore. It felt like the last piece of his lover had left and Song Lan couldn’t even prevent something as simple as that. XingChen’s signature dirtied in a pool, but not enough to be washed away. What a joke.

The young man in front him bowed down, apologizing profusely, trying to save the documents at the best of his abilities. He even suggested finding a public toilet to dry the sheets under the hot air blowing machine, the silly man.

Song Lan smiled instead, reassuring him it was fine.

He was fine.

But the kid accidentally read the first few lines of the agreement before looking up at Song Lan. And where he would have expected pity, Song Lan only saw consternation instead on his pale face. It was so startling to see it, that he had to crouch back down on the ground next to the kid and reassure him everything was fine. It was just paper, it wasn’t important, he didn’t have to feel so guilty about...

“It is important. Your life is important.”

Such a dramatic sentence, uttered so vehemently, should have sounded weird to Song Lan. Especially because he disapproved of such antics in the first place. But it sounded so sincere, so earnest that he felt touched for a moment.

So he helped the kid up on his feet and asked him to walk a bit with him, to keep him company. Reserved as he was, he would have never thought possible opening up to a stranger the way he did that day. But there was something calming about the kid, almost as if he had been put on earth to soothe other people’s existence.

So he told him how his husband had fallen in love with someone else, someone much younger than them. How this had strained their marriage even if Song Lan had known all along his husband had the ability to fall in love with more than one person at a time. But Song Lan was monogamous and would have never justified forcing his lover to suppress his feelings just to please him. So it had been Song Lan himself to call it quits and wish him all the luck in the world.

The kid had started crying at some point, without Song Lan even noticing at first.

“Why are you crying? Please no, I didn’t wan to upset you.”

“So much love. In different ways but... it’s too much. There’s so much of it, of course I’m crying for you and your loved one.”

Song Lan was many things. Too stern, too rigid, too peculiar about who could touch him or not, too cold in expressing his emotions. But he felt warm then, in front of a kid crying for him in the middle of the street, one day of late autumn.

“Thank you.”

***

XuanYu let it slip once with Mrs. Jin how little he remembered of his past. 

It wasn’t a lie, he really didn’t remember what it had been of him before he had met her, asking for a room. But the kind woman just assumed he was talking about his past or youth, so he didn’t correct her on the matter.

Knowing the truth would have scared her, after all.

But he still let himself trust her that day as they sat in front of a pot of tea and he pretended to drink and eat the pastries on the low table. He didn’t need to eat or drink. He wasn’t even sure he had a digestive system.

“I only remember... a song.”

“A song?”

“Yes. Someone singing every night before falling asleep. I don’t think it was meant for me to hear... but my body remembers the shivers. The feeling of being loved.”

“The body remembers the weirdest things, XuanYu. You should trust it more.”

He smiled at that, wriggling his hands on the handkerchief where he had hidden the pastries from sight.

“I’m pretty sure that song wasn’t for me. My body was merely there to listen.”

YanLi looked uncomfortable at that, something scary painting her features.

“Maybe I was eavesdropping,” he reassured her with a self-deprecating joke, not sure if that would have made her feel more at ease or not, “Maybe I was listening in, hoping such lovely words could be directed at me for once.”

Mrs. Jin sipped her tea for a long while afterwards, before finding the resolution to look up and stare him down with a serious expression.

“Unrequited feelings hurt, don’t they?”

XuanYu didn’t know what she meant by that, but he nodded anyway.

He heard something rustling in his bag and hid the sweets inside of it the moment YanLi turned to clear the table. If A-Ling heard someone munching their protests away from inside of the bag, he didn’t snitch on XuanYu and retrieved playing with Fairy on the carpeted floor next to him instead.

*

Lan Zhan was disappointed in him, XuanYu knew that much. They were admiring the sunset from the small balcony in their room, folding laundry.

XuanYu always wondered why Lan Zhan assumed the form of a black stuffed rabbit, of all things, but he didn’t want to pry. He didn’t even know his real name. The other had told him he used to be a human in his past life and that he hadn’t technically reincarnated in this lifetime. That his current form was just a mean to a goal, that he could use it to guide XuanYu and help him better that way without expending much spiritual energy.

He told him someone dear to him taught him how to manipulate paper-man talismans in his previous life. How similar the process had been to move around in a stuffed animal’s body. How convenient.

XuanYu believed he secretly loved it, even if Lan Zhan would have never said as much. He already talked very little to begin with.

“You told her you don’t remember your past.”

“That I did.”

“Don’t do it again”

XuanYu folded the last towel on his lap and then let Lan Zhan take a nap on it. He felt silly having to take showers and pretend to be a normal human being. He hated inconveniencing the Jins with him, accepting their bedding and paid kitchen appliances and so on. But if he wanted to accomplish his mission he had to make an effort to look normal... instead of spirited away from another world or maybe simply another era.

“I won’t do it again, don’t worry Lan Zhan.”

*

Lan Zhan was disappointed, but he was also patient to a fault.

Sure, it would have been much appreciated if Mo XuanYu didn’t lose him around every other day. This time the younger man had forgotten to pick him up from the floor where he had been reading stories to the children at the kindergarten.

But Lan Zhan was also a stuffed animal now, so it wasn’t like he could move around and risk being seeing by normal humans. His body was a vessel and any damage would have had repercussions on his soul as well. 

What to do.

He tried not to panic when he felt someone picking him up from the floor after an hour or so. He silently prayed for them not to be A-Qing: even in this life she was too smart for her own good and he couldn’t risk being found out so soon. Mo XuanYu wasn’t even halfway to complete his mission and Lan Zhan couldn’t...

“I’m sure A-Yu is looking for you, little guy. What are doing all the way back here?”

It was always difficult to hear his older brother’s voice in this life. To see his face, to notice how sad he was even in this new reincarnation of his.

Lan Zhan didn’t move a single muscle as XiChen dusted him off and put him in his apron front pocket as he looked for “A-Yu”.

In order to give a second chance to Mo XuanYu, Lan Zhan had sacrificed any possibility to ever reincarnate until his mission was accomplished. So XiChen didn’t have a younger brother in this lifetime and he would have not had one for a while. Lan Zhan missed him, but they had to wait for a bit more.

They still had three months to fill the bottle the King of Hell had entrusted Mo XuanYu with. Then he would have entered the list for reincarnation once more and everything will have been fine in the end.

Lan Zhan owed the kid his life, so he trusted him.

No matter what.

*

XuanYu remembered the boy who had stolen his umbrella. He remembered him well enough to recognize him when he found him crawling on the floor, a stab wound in his belly, one winter night.

Panicked, he asked Lan Zhan what they could do as he instinctively pressed the wound with his bare hands. Lan Zhan didn’t dare move not to attract attention on himself. The other man snarled out at XuanYu, asking him why did he even bother, seemingly recognizing him.

“I took your fucking umbrella. Hate me and leave me alone.”

“Ridiculous.”

Lan Zhan would have been proud of him for that remark, but XuanYu was too scared to think about it. He didn’t have a phone and he didn’t even know the number for emergencies. He wasn’t even qualified to be a teacher. How had he survived until then. He was useless and stupid and...

“What the fuck?” Jiang Cheng’s voice came in a whisper behind him.

What a sorry view the older man had to take in that night: a pool of blood staining otherwise clean clothes, a moaning boy on the ground in restless pain, a crying mess of a sad excuse of a human pressing on a throbbing wound next to him.

Jiang Cheng muttered something about the boy being one of Meng Yao’s men, that they should leave him there to die for all he cared.

The man under XuanYu barked back, telling him he had tried to “convince the idiot of the same”. But XuanYu was horrified by what he had just heard.

“People die for nothing. People die for fucking nothing. You don’t leave someone behind just because you fucking hate them.”

XuanYu has never cursed in this brief, borrowed life of his. Maybe spending so much time with Jiang Cheng had rubbed some of his habits off on him in the end.

Startled, Jiang Cheng seemed to agree with him because he fished out his phone and called an ambulance right away.

The stabbed man laughed at that.

*

Lan Zhan was clutched in XuanYu’s hands as they waited in the corridor of a badly lit hospital. The kid was crying, hard. He must have remembered how his family in Mo Manor had mistreated him in the past, how easily his own relatives had starved him off just out of spite. How already impossibly emaciated he had been when he had sacrificed his body for Wei Ying, to bring him back in a weakened vessel just to seek revenge. Just to let his hatred run free.

Such cruelty had earned him nothing but distrust from the hell judges, who sentenced him to never be reincarnated again. Only when Lan Zhan had ascended to heaven -many centuries after reaching immortality- he had been able to make them relent.

If Mo XuanYu could prove to be a good human being during a trial time of one year on planet earth, filling a vial with good actions in the form of golden gems, then they would have considered Lan Zhan’s proposal. Mo XuanYu would have atoned his sin and be granted a new life, a clean record, and a second chance at happiness.

Seeing someone almost die in front of him must have awaken something ugly in him. His stained hands, the iron stench in the air. All that blood... like the last thing he had most probably seen in his previous life before his body sacrifice. A scarlet array under his feet, another soul replacing his in his own body.

Lan Zhan let himself be held tightly in Mo XuanYu’s hands that night at the hospital.

And hugged back without anyone else noticing.

*

Xiao XingChen. That was the name of the man showing up at the kindergarten one week later. XuanYu had never seen him before, but the man hugged him in front of the kids, alerting both XiChen and Jiang Cheng.

“Thank you,” the tall man said in between tears, holding him tight.

“I don’t understand. I...”

“You saved A-Yang. Thank you.”

XuanYu pressed his lips together tightly at that, so overwhelmed he didn’t know what to say. His fingertips hurting with sometimes akin to electricity the more he let himself be held so fiercely by the other man.

He started crying in earnest only after the man had left, surrounded by the children who worried and fussed over him. He fell asleep with them during nap time and when he woke up he found Jiang Cheng placing a quilt over him.

Caught red handed, the older man feigned disinterest in the beginning... but then he sat down next to him. Just like he had done in the hospital one week ago.

“Did you see someone die before?” Jiang Cheng asked then, awkwardly scratching the back of his head, “You had such a strong... reaction to my words. It was insensitive of me. I apologize for angering you. I’ll better myself.”

XuanYu didn’t answer at that. 

Jiang Cheng would have never understood what it meant to sacrifice yourself to hatred and revenge. How much it had scarred him to be brought back to life, but only as a worn out set of robes on top of someone else’s soul. How distant he had felt when the Yiling Patriarch had inhabited his body and had let himself be touched by someone else.

Jiang Cheng would have never understood what it meant to be touched in the flesh but be utterly unreachable as a soul. Or how much it hurt to become an empty body filled by someone foreign and new. Someone who could wear his skin better than him.

Jiang Cheng would have never understood. And thank all the gods for that.

So XuanYu... Mo XuanYu kept quiet and smiled instead.

*

Lan Zhan didn’t trust Jiang Cheng. He hadn’t in the past and he wasn’t gonna start now. Wei Ying would have been so disappointed in him for thinking badly of his baby brother, but there was little Lan Zhan could do about that.

Wei Ying wasn’t there to judge him for it.

Mo XuanYu would wake up every morning and wash himself, get dressed and tidy up the room before leaving. He would fix his appearance in a mirror Young Lady Jiang had gifted him in autumn, making sure his hat was still in place.

“What would happen if I were to...?”

“You must keep your hat on... even when you sleep. You know this much.”

“I wear a headband to bed.”

“And what of it?”

“It’s... silly.”

“Nobody can see you in your sleep. Why the sudden worry?”

Mo XuanYu said nothing in response to that, but Lan Zhan knew. The kid had never worried too much about his appearance aside from looking proper and well dressed. He had never fussed over his features, but recently he had taken the habit to walk dangerously close to makeup stores and check various displays at the convenience store close by. Lan Zhan knew Mo XuanYu had remembered his past... how he had quickly realized he was already an adult. With needs and desires.

But now a brand new reincarnation of Jiang WanYin would wait for him every morning to walk to work together. Now Jiang Cheng acted pleasantly enough to be considered kind and doting to someone starved of affection like Mo XuanYu had always been. Which wasn’t planned, it had never been.

Lan Zhan didn’t like where this was going.

He didn’t like it at all.

*

Nie HuaiSang came to bring a cake for XuanYu one day or so before the end of the year, snow sticking to his hair and flushed cheeks.

“I don’t know when your birthday is... so I’m pretty sure I’m late to the game. But I wanted to thank you for helping me and MianMian that one time. So I made a cake for you. I hope you like strawberries.”

Mo XuanYu had no idea if he liked them or not. He couldn’t even eat.

He started crying in the middle of his room, where HuaiSang had placed the boxed cake on top of his low table.

Panicked, HuaiSang jumped up and out of the room to alert Jiang Cheng next door. But upon seeing the other man’s worried expression XuanYu cried even harder.

“What did you do to him, you bastard?”

“I’m not the one who used to prank people all the time. Grow up!”

“You clearly did something horrible to him for...”

“A-Cheng we’re not twelve anymore. Who do you take me for?”

XuanYu took his chance to stuff his face with cake, gulping it down bit by bit even if he knew he didn’t have the necessary organs to process it without vomiting it all out in an hour or so. He had tried many times to hold food down to no avail. His body rejecting it as if it was poisonous and dangerous.

He had tried so many times... to practice. To be able to appreciate YanLi’s generous cooking, to help A-Ling and the children at school prep their lunches and maybe... maybe to eat with Jiang Cheng every now and then.

Nie HuaiSang hugged him and patted his head, confused but too scared to ask for an explanation. Mo XuanYu smiled at him and lied, saying his cake was the best he had ever eaten. It wasn’t the best. It was simply the first.

He had no way to compare it with anything else, really.

*

Wen Ning had heard about his “stomachache” from XiChen, who had known all about it from YanLi and Jiang Cheng. So it shouldn’t have been a surprise for XuanYu when he saw the older boy in front of his apartment complex the last day of the year.

But it was a surprise.

“Can we talk for a bit?” Wen Ning asked, holding his umbrella up for XuanYu to walk beside him, protecting him from the icy snow.

They walked to the nearest park, sitting under the gazebo to watch the snow falling down. Their heavy coats keeping them warm, despite the cold.

They used to take long walks back from the kindergarten with A-Yuan after school, since the Wens lived close to XuanYu. Before Jiang Cheng came back anyway.

Wen Ning looked uncomfortable, fidgeting with his fingers as he tried to find the right words. He surprised XuanYu by telling him how, in the past, he had suffered from an eating disorder and had been hospitalized for a while in his teens. How worried his sister and their grandma had been for him, how much they helped him in his recovery. How alone he had felt for years still, no matter how loved he was.

“A-Yuan told me he never saw you eat. So I was wondering if you needed help.”

It wasn’t the case, but XuanYu knew he meant well. Telling him everything was fine would have only worried him more, so he tried to explain an half-truth that could satisfy him. Saying it was difficult for him to process food, that in the past he had suffered from malnutrition and now he had digestive issues.

He was talking about his past life, but he figured that could work as well.

When they parted ways in front of the apartment complex, Wen Ning asked to hold XuanYu’s hands for a bit. He cradled them carefully, as if they were precious. His slender fingers cupping XuanYu’s smaller palms almost reverently.

“I know you don’t feel the same about me. But I’ll ask you to look after yourself anyway. Not out of obligation for me... but out of respect for yourself, if nothing else.”

The moment Wen Ning let go of his hands, Jiang Cheng stepped out of the front door of the building and saw them.

He said nothing and walked away after stepping out of the gate.

*

Lan Zhan would have very much liked to flip a finger at Jiang WanYin’s forehead. Hard. Wei Ying would have done the same, he was sure.

Wei Ying would have also smacked some sense in his baby brother, forcing him to face his feelings and take responsibility for what he was doing to poor Mo XuanYu.

Who was currently waiting for the other man’s return like a dog by his room balcony, surveying the front courtyard like a bird of prey from above.

Lan Zhan tried to coax the kid inside, reminding him snow was still falling down and that his beanie was slipping away. He tried to be gentle about it, knowing how much XuanYu had grown resentful of the hats he had to constantly wear.

But the younger man simply shrugged, saying he wanted to wait for another five minutes. Just one more. Just to make sure.

Jiang Cheng didn’t come back that night.

And Mo XuanYu cried in his sleep clutching the half-empty vial to his chest.

Lan Zhan spent the night watching over him, singing to him the song he had written for Wei Ying. He snuggled close to XuanYu and made sure his wide headband was covering the crown of his head, before pressing himself to the other’s forehead.

He never stopped singing.

Wishing he could take all the pain away.

*

YanLi, A-Yuan and even ZiXuan knocked on his door to greet him into the new year, despite how XuanYu should have been the one to pay his respects to his landlords.

But they asked him to visit the funeral home with them instead, to say their thanks to YanLi’s parents with offers and flowers.

He dressed in his best clothes, having never been in what seemed to be a modern version of the ancestral halls of his childhood in a past life. The establishment was fairly sterile, with shelves filled with plaques and pictures instead of wooden inscriptions on an altar. The lot of them bowed and said their thanks, chatting with the late Jiangs almost as if they had never left. YanLi apologized to her mother for Jiang Cheng’s absence that year like any other year, while ZiXuan told his father-in-law how they would have visited the Jin ancestors during Chūnjié to make it fair.

XuanYu looked at them and barely kept himself from crying.

On their way back, YanLi explained her parents had died when she was still twelve and Jiang Cheng was merely six. How they had lived in the orphanage run by XiChen’s mother and made friends with the boy, who was YanLi’s classmate. How the siblings stayed there until YanLi came of age and got custody of her baby brother. ZiXuan’s family of lawyers had helped her pro bono and that was how she had met the man and fallen in love with him. Even if it had taken a while for ZiXuan to notice her at first, preoccupied with university and law school as he had been at the time. But the Jins helped her with the inheritance left by the late Madame Yu: the apartment complex where they currently lived.

Watching them explaining their past in such detail moved XuanYu deeply. Feeling as if they wanted to make him part of their family by filling in the gaps for him.

That was still his older brother after all and those were still his sister-in-law and his beloved nephew and he... he loved them. He had missed them so, so much.

And he was about to leave them again soon.

*

Wen Qing finally showed herself up one day at the park, when Mo XuanYu was taking Fairy out for an evening walk. She approached him by telling the younger man she had assisted in the surgery Xue Yang had undergone some time back.

Lan Zhan (hiding in the kid’s coat pocket) could see how startled the kid was at the mention of the criminal, but he decided to trust this version of Lady Wen as he would have done in the past.

Wei Ying cared deeply for her, after all.

Whatever truths she was about to entrust Mo XuanYu with, Lan Zhan knew the kid could take it.

He hoped as much, at least.

*

Jiang Cheng came back only for Chinese New Year. Saying he had stayed at XiChen’s since the winter break allowed them to take it easy and figure some stuff out for the following school year.

It hurt to know where he had been all along, but XuanYu braved a smile anyway. He knew how much Jiang Cheng cared for the older man, how much he wanted to save the school from the debt collector. How much he didn’t love XuanYu back.

So he let himself cry one last time before waking up one morning and deciding he had had enough.

He talked with Lan Zhan, asking him to tell him all about Wei WuXian and their love. If XuanYu’s sacrifice had allowed them to be happy as they deserved in the end. If Lan Zhan hated him now, for forcing him away from his loved one, who was currently waiting for him to come back to heaven.

Mo XuanYu knew the couple had sacrificed their chance at reincarnation to allow him to seek a second lifetime for himself. He knew Wei Ying watched over them from up above, waiting for Lan Zhan to secure a new life for the kid.

They talked all day and then well into the night.

By dawn Mo XuanYu had decided what to do.

*

XuanYu properly met Meng Yao one day of early spring, when flowers weren’t yet brave enough to poke their way out and greet the sun. The man was dressed in black, his hair cut short, a sigarette between his lips as he waited patiently for the kindergarten to open.

It was XuanYu’s duty to open that morning, so he was the one to greet the man.

Upon hearing his voice, Meng Yao immediately recognized him.

“There you are. I was waiting for you.”

“Me?”

“You’re the kid who answered the phone. And the one who helped my subordinate back in winter, right?”

His dimples were so deep, his face so pleasant.

Mo XuanYu remembered him from another lifetime. He remembered how much he had cared for his older brother Jin GuangYao. How hurt he had felt when the other had lied and accused him of harassment just to get rid of him.

But this was a new life and Meng Yao was just a man.

Who happened to have been married with XiChen for a while before turning to a life filled with crime and gang violence.

Wen Qing had told him Meng Yao had initially tried to live far away from his adoptive father Wen RuoHan. All for the sake of marrying XiChen and keep him safe. But XiChen’s mother still had had a debt to pay for the construction of the orphanage, a price too high for her to pay with her poor health and delicate disposition. A debt that XiChen had inherited from her when she had died.

That was why Meng Yao had left him: to go back to his father and ask him to handle the debt himself, supplicating him to overlook such small issue and let him dry XiChen out of every penny and cent instead.

Wen Qing may have learned this only from the gossiping running in her family, with the Wen Clan being as big as it was, but she was pretty sure of what she had told XuanYu. That Meng Yao had simply faked having fallen out of love with XiChen to protect him from his adoptive father and his cruelty. That XiChen still loved him and was waiting for him to fight alongside him instead.

Mo XuanYu knew all of this.

So now he could act and fulfill his mission.

*

“I want to pay the debt XiChen owes you.”

“You are full of surprises, XuanYu. And how do you plan to do that?”

“I can do many things.”

“You’re very pretty, you can make good money out of it.”

XuanYu considered his words before shaking his head.

“It’s not something I can do.”

“Then what can you do?”

“I’ll solve everything.”

“I’m all ears.”

“But you’ll have to stop making XiChen worry so much.”

“That’s not how business work...”

“Lie to me. Give your word and I’ll... I will solve everything.”

Meng Yao humored him and nodded.

Then and only then, Mo XuanYu took his hat off.

*

Lan Zhan had watched the entire scene unfold before his eyes without intervening, trusting Mo XuanYu with such an important choice. He took in the sight of the beautiful spiritual light shining brightly on top of XuanYu’s head like a crown.

His soul in full display, its energy so raw it had slowed down time all around them.

Lan Zhan turned around and looked at XiChen, who had just turned a corner and had been walking towards XuanYu to greet him good morning. Frozen in time, his older brother’s face still looked peaceful... simply because he had had no time to notice Meng Yao’s presence quite yet.

Lan Zhan turned once more and saw Jiang WanYin making his way in a rush towards them, surely to protect XuanYu from Meng Yao. When did he arrive? His features trapped in a perpetual frown, scared for the one he truly loved in this lifetime.

Then, Lan Zhan looked up at Mo XuanYu and saw him taking the bottle only half filled with gold... which symbolized his goodwill and generous spirit.

“Will this be enough to grant a wish, Lan Zhan?”

When XuanYu said his name like that he sounded so much like his Wei Ying, full of hope and love.

“It depends on the wish, A-Yu.”

“I reckon it’s not enough for a new reincarnation, eh?”

“It’s enough to save a life... but not yours.”

XuanYu looked crestfallen, but he persevered still.

The bottle transformed into a bag filled with money and XuanYu made his way to XiChen and left it at his feet before smiling up at his mentor and employer.

“I cannot rewrite the past, but maybe I can plan a better future for you.”

Still smiling, XuanYu slowly walked over to Jiang Cheng and said his farewells.

Then he crouched down and took Lan Zhan in his hands, kissing him goodbye on the head affectionately.

“Erase me well, Lan Zhan,” he whispered then.

Before disappearing into thin air.

***

Wei Ying had agreed with him, suggesting the idea himself.

In the end the King of Hell had granted Lan Zhan’s request and offered Mo XuanYu a second chance anyway. Since this new self-sacrifice had been fueled by positive emotions instead of anger and despair, the hell judges had considered the atonement fulfilled and put the kid’s name back on the reincarnation list.

Twenty years had past and many things had changed.

For starters, the kid’s last name wasn’t Mo anymore, but Nie. The boy had, in fact, born into Nie MingJue’s family and had lived overseas in Japan for a while before moving back to Lanling when XuanYu turned twenty. Nie HuaiSang had met him many times during summer vacations and other festivities, visiting his brother and his wife every chance he had gotten to dote on his cute nephew XuanYu.

Nie MingJue had done a remarkable job in protecting him from harm. So, by the time their little family had decided to move close to HuaiSang, XuanYu had become a well adjusted adult with a brilliant future ahead of him.

Nobody remembered him.

Or so Lan Zhan had thought.

Apparently, he had forgotten to wipe Jin Ling’s memories thoroughly. So, when The Nie family had come to greet HuaiSang’s friends YanLi and ZiXuan, A-Ling almost had a stroke out of incredulity and happiness for being reunited with his “A-Yu”. Even if Jin Ling was now older than the pretty-gege from his memories. Even if he had spent years trying to figure out why nobody seemed to remember the weird uncle living next door to his Jiujiu years back.

XiChen and Meng Yao had solved their problems and had started running the school together right after Wen RuoHan sudden and mysterious disappearance. The man had many enemies after all. 

A-Yuan had grown up into a fine young man, someone Wei Ying would have certainly been proud of, working with his cousin Wen Ning at the local botanical garden while his friends still studied in university. 

Nie HuaiSang had married Qin Su and opened a restaurant with her. 

MianMian and Wen Qing had decided to live together and adopt a bunch of dogs just because. 

Xiao XingChen and Xue Yang still lived together while Song Lan had found his way back to them after talking it out with the couple. 

A-Qing was probably running some sketchy business in social services to protect kids from horrible families.

Lan Zhan was still, unfortunately, a stuffed rabbit. Following XuanYu in his new life in the most unexpected of ways. In the form of the first present the boy’s uncle had gifted him in childhood. If Wei Ying had pulled a string or two from heaven to make that happen, well, Lan Zhan himself was none the wiser. The only thing he knew was that XuanYu had always taken him with him in all his travels even if he didn’t know he could speak. Lan Zhan had preferred not to reveal his nature and let the kid have a normal childhood. Especially since he had no memories of his past as a tenant in Jiang YanLi’s house. Nor of his life as a cultivator.

Wei Ying had agreed they could wait to be reunited again. The both of them wanting to look over XuanYu for a little longer before getting their own chance at reincarnation. They had all eternity to be together again... they could definitely wait a bit more for the kid.

All was well.

Aside from the other person whose mind Lan Zhan had conveniently forgot to wipe clean of any memory of XuanYu.

In his defense, Lan Zhan had tried to make Jiang Cheng forget. But something about XuanYu must have touched him so deeply... that Lan Zhan had not been able to do much about it. The kid’s smiles and clumsy antics would always linger in the back of the other’s mind no matter how much he tried to ignore them.

Coming back from his job at ZiXuan’s firm, exhausted and vulnerable, Jiang Cheng decided to visit his sister the same day Nie MingJue had brought his family there. So he was particularly weak to the sight of a bright, soft XuanYu when YanLi introduced her younger brother to their guests.

To Lan Zhan’s absolute delight, Jiang Cheng immediately bowed down to a scary looking Nie MingJue and asked his son’s hand in marriage.

Yes, grovel to this precious boy and learn your place.

XuanYu only tilted his head at that weird man bowing to his parents and smiled.

His laughter ringing up to the sky, where Wei Ying was still listening.

From where he would have kept watching.

*

[I worked so hard on this please reblog]

*

[kobato means “little dove” I thought it was cute since XuanYu is a magpie! + I wanted MXY a chance at life and for once this is a reversal-sacrifice from WWX’s part and I think it’s neat.]

[JC would be 43 or so... which yikes. but this is all I could do. I don’t like huge age gaps but at least everyone is a consenting adult, okay?]

[the thing that started this was like “what if LXC was an only child and LWJ did not reincarnate bc he’s still in the afterlife or something? then the entire thing escalated so...yeah.]

now I will cry for ages. I worked so hard on this good god D:

[arthurmorganismaboah]

Outlaws Never Die- Chapter 3- leaving Colter.

_________________________________

You arrived back to camp and relieved your horse from the heavy load stowed on his back and delivered it to Pearson, you noticed Arthur’s horse hitched nearby and your heart jumped. Almost running through the snow, you looked in the window of john’s cabin. His family was surrounding him, he had an awful looking wound on his face, of what resembled a claw, but he was alive and that was all that mattered. Everyone has lived another day. Smiling to yourself and walking towards Arthurs cabin. You went to see if he was okay.

“Hey, Arthur.”

You stood with your eyes huge, you should have knocked on the door! Arthur was standing with his shirt open; blood pooled and dripping a little over his chest. Although he was hurt you couldn’t help but stand and stare at the toned male in front of you, little hair over his chest, bruises and previous scars from other difficulties he had faced. For someone that didn’t eat much, he was in great shape, his body in perfect proportion.

“I... I’m sorry, I should have knocked.”

“Come in, Y/N. Please close the door behind you though, you’re letting out all of the warm air.” Arthur finished patching himself up with what little supplies he had left before buttoning up his shirt and putting his coat back on.

“Are you okay? I noticed the blood.” You couldn’t quite bring yourself to look at him, you could feel your face flush, you knew it was red without even looking at yourself, the pit of your stomach in knots, butterflies swimming within you.

“I’m fine, Y/N. John ran into trouble up the hill, wolves killed his horse and attacked him. You seen his face? I’d say its an improvement but he’s going to live.” Arthur chuckled to himself, finding his own witty comments amusing. You smiled looking at him “Seems the wolves like me too, they came running once we found him. I had to steer them away. I got caught out a bit, but no damage done, not really.”

“I’m glad you’re okay.” you looked at him with sincerity. You both stood and looked at each other for a few seconds, taking in every detail you could see of each other. Dark bags under his eyes where he has hardly slept, his lips still chapped and his face a shade of pink. You didn’t know if he was blushing or if it was just from the weather.

“We will be moving soon, you should probably start packing up, Hosea reckons there’s a place we can hold up for a while, somewhere much warmer than here that’s for sure!” Arthur was packing cans and supplies into his satchel that had also been upgraded and patched up by Pearson. “were moving early morning, so only one more night in this cold.” He stopped and looked to the floor for a second seeing the two deer pelts still on the floor where you both slept last night. “I saw you got two deer earlier, well done Y/N. they look perfect. Clean shots. Where did you learn to do that?”

You sighed and Arthur looked concerned feeling like he had hit a nerve.

“My dad taught me years ago, he must have known I would need the skill in the future and he was right, though he didn’t teach me to track very well.” You smiled and looked to the floor thinking about your old family. They had all died when you were only 15. Your father had got in a lot of trouble and owed people a lot of money. When he needed to pay that money back and couldn’t, they murdered your whole family, except you, they would have if you were there in that house, but you weren’t. You were out robbing people for that money that your family needed so badly before the debt collectors came, but you were too late, you were always too late. Although it wasn’t your fault, you blamed yourself and couldn’t rid that guilt. A stray tear fell down your cheek and Arthur wrapped his arms around you. You were shocked and tensed up but soon relaxed in his arms, burying your face in his chest.

“I shouldn’t have asked, Y/N. I’m really sorry.” He rubbed his hands against your back. The feelings you were having were confusing. Of course, you had hugged people before, but this was so different. It was such a safe feeling, almost a fuzzy feeling in your chest, contentment and even though you were hurting thinking about your old family you felt comfort in his arms, like he could make even the darkest of times better.

“It’s the past, you just have to move on, right? Everything happens for a reason, I wouldn’t have found this group otherwise, I would have never met... you.” You looked up at Arthur, both of your chests touching “Good things always come out of bad and I just have to keep on believing that.” You wanted nothing more than to kiss him right there and then, tell him how you were feeling, how these emotions were taking control, but he pulled away and you felt a little hurt by it.

“We should get something to eat before packing the remaining stuff into the wagons” he held his arm, almost as though he was trying to hug himself.

“Yeah. We should.” You walked out first, not looking back at Arthur. You had embarrassed yourself. Of course, he could feel your heart racing in your chest, of course he could hear your breathing fast paced. If you could melt away and disappear, you would right in that moment. Watching everyone happy, sitting in a big circle in a cabin with a roaring fire and stew you could forget about it for a little while. You decided to sit near the girls and as far away from Arthur as possible.

***

“oh, stop complaining, John. You got yourself in this mess.” Dutch was lifting a cot with the help of Micah with an injured John wrapped up in bundles of blankets onto the last wagon. Everything was set and you were finally going to get out of Colter. Climbing onto the front of a wagon you were greeted by the one person you didn’t want to be with right this second.

“Arthur.” You smiled awkwardly and looked at the other wagons starting to move. Hosea was sitting in the back making sure to keep an eye on the supplies, make sure nothing fell off on your journey.

 "Y/N." Arthur smiles, nothing off about him, it was as though the night before didn't happen, or maybe it didn't happen as you thought it did. Maybe you were just thinking over things too much like you usually do. "Did you sleep okay?" he wasn't looking at you, instead he was focusing on the trail ahead of him making sure not to hit any rocks that could potentially make our couple hour journey multiply by much more.

“I slept quite well, all things considering.” You smiled as you started to get warm, being out of the snow was definitely a big difference. The colours of the trees, the grass, the flowers, there were so many colours, not just the same old white that you have been looking at for days. “its lovely here.” You took off your coat and leaned back with your eyes closed. Your plaid shirt hugging your feminine frame, the top button undone exposing the tiniest bit of your chest. Taking in the warmth of the sun, the breeze that was cool but not cold like the snow had been. Arthur smiled watching you, something stirring inside him, taking his eyes off the trail for a second before he caught on to what he was doing and quickly looked back towards the trail.

“It’s been ages since I last saw you without a coat.” Hosea looked at Arthur and then put his head in his hand and shook his head. Arthur cleared his throat realising how silly he had sounded. He never was the smoothest of talkers.

You were getting closer to the destination and you felt like this was the place, this was the place we could build up camp and stay for a while without worrying about moving so quickly.

 “Here we are, Horseshoe Outlook!” Dutch called out so everyone could hear. “Everyone unpack, get camp set up, Pearson, get some stew on. Y/N, Arthur, head into Valentine and see what’s here for us. Were home folks, lets settle in!”

You looked to Arthur and sighed, “Guess we don’t get time to settle in just yet!”

“Nope.”

You both got off the wagon and trailed to your horses, “let’s head out, you ready, Arthur?”

“sure, Y/N.”

[atopearth]

Final Fantasy X-2 HD Remaster Part 2 - Chapter 3 & mashing the x button at the Farplane (lol)

Fiends swarming out of the temple? Leave it to the friendly neighbourhood Gullwings? Lolll, any reason for Yuna to save the people she cares about I guess haha. Sphere break tournament!! Lol at Rin being such a big shot now with how rich he is to sponsor the tournament and have girls all around him lol. I honestly didn’t get how I was supposed to be getting the quota in Sphere Break until I googled that I needed those echo combos lmao, no wonder why I was losing, I kept thinking the more coins I used, the faster I’d meet the quota hahahahah! I’m sorry I’m a silly idiot. Anywho, challenged the guy walking around the square, the old man on the bridge and then challenged the lady with the dog to get a garment grid, so I “purposely” lost to her so I could save before facing the champion~ Lmao, and yes, I lost to Shinra many times because I didn’t understand the game, but after that, it was an easy win! That’s right, that’s what happens when you get cocky Shinra!

Running through Mi'ihen highroad cleaning up the machina that’s gone berserk is bad, I remember it, luckily no one got hurt though. Doesn’t mean we should go back to riding chocobos though! Let them roam in the wild! Pretty sad that I had to do this twice because the first time I didn’t do the jumping down the ledge with Rikku that you should see at the north part of the newroad aiyaa. Honestly though, I love Gippal. Not only do I find it so cute how he loves to tease Rikku, especially since it seems like he’s the only one that Rikku has no words to tease back hahaha, but I also find it so refreshing and cool how he told the Youth League guys to deal with the fiend problem themselves and stop relying on Yuna so much. When he told Yuna that it was already enough that she’s defeated Sin and that she should leave it to everyone else that has been protected by her to protect Spira now, I was so touched. I can see why little me loved Gippal when I first played this game. He’s a great guy, all my respect goes to him! Who cares about Baralai or Nooj when Gippal is the one? XD Gippal is one who acts by his words and I love that. He’s silly but serious, the perfect balance, you can see why so many people look up to him as their leader!

Lmao at Tobli wanting to hold a concert with Yuna as the main first to attract more people since his first didn’t turn out well, I guess if Yuna is so into dancing and singing now, why not lol. Although Yuna dancing will always remind me of her sending the dead lmao. Seeing Leblanc so depressed because Nooj has disappeared is very unlike her, at least go try finding him, you’re a sphere hunter, lady! Hmm, another sphere with Shuyin and then Maechen randomly appearing in Leblanc’s headquarters to talk about how he’s probably a guy back in the Machina war where Zanarkand and the others fought 1000 years ago. I guess since Tidus is a dream of the fayth, it’s not too crazy to think that they would have dreamt of Shuyin in another form and that’s why Tidus and Shuyin look so similar? Seeing Cid feel so bad about turning Zanarkand into a tourist spot and sincerely apologising to Yuna was nice, at least he’s realised what he’d done, now he just needs to fix it! Rikku was right though, in a sense, it’s like turning the ruins of Home (where the Al Bhed all used to live) into a tourist spot. It felt so terrible to see the Al Bhed debt collectors that were staking out at the Macalania agency waiting for O'aka to come back killed by the out of control fiends. It was so horrible to see the first casualties. They actually bothered protecting the agency for O'aka… Hopefully their deaths won’t be for nought and O'aka will really bring this place alive again. The woods may be dying and the temple may have sunk underwater but I’m sure you can somehow do it O'aka!!

Lmao at the existence of a Cactuar Nation and Benzo translating cactuar language. Funniest thing was the second cactuar that was sunbathing in Besaid LOL, it was literally sitting there hahahaha, so cute. Not sure if these little guys went out to train or to play, but since they’re the ten gatekeepers that need to come back and protect the nation, I’ll just assume they’re really training. I mean, those cactuar mini games are so hard and annoying lol. HAHAHA, my bad, the cactuar brothers riding a chocobo in the Calm Lands is so cute and funny looking hahahaha, they’re even holding reins LOLL. Never thought they’d even try to make the Cavern of the Stolen Fayth into a tourist destination and game as well, can’t blame Yuna for being mad, it’s just disgusting and dangerous. At least they’ve learnt their lesson now that there were fiends there. The Ronso looking for revenge on the Guado is a saddening but understandable thing. At least, they believe in the voice of the mountain and listened to it and Yuna and decided to not. Revenge will bring nothing. Yuna didn’t fight to bring this Eternal Calm for more blood to be shed.

I can’t believe Beclem really wanted to burn the temple down to kill all the fiends! I guess he’s not wrong though since if Yuna wasn’t here, it would have been difficult for them to defeat Dark Valefor themselves. But still, this was the place Yuna became a summoner, where she met Tidus, if it’s not needed, who really wants to burn all those memories away. I mean, me just walking through it gives me nostalgia, let alone Yuna and them haha. Vegnagun ran off by itself because when it detects any form of hostility, it awakens and runs? And Nooj hated it deep down even though he wanted to use it, so it ran off… But did Nooj hate it or did the one that’s controlling him hate it? 2 years ago, the three of them and Paine were a part of the Crimson Squad (to be) and were shot by the Nooj that was controlled and I guess that’s why Baralai could never see him in the same light after that and they all went their separate ways. They all cherish each other as friends though and I guess that’s why no matter what they did, they were all bound to meet again. Ah, so Shuyin was the one controlling Nooj and now Baralai. He’s mad that Spira is still fighting over useless things 1000 years later and wants to end everything with Vegnagun and find Lenne again. It was quite uncomfortable seeing him hug Yuna in her songstress form (since the songstress dressphere carries Lenne’s feelings) but, it was a pretty scene. I like how great Gippal’s, Baralai’s and Nooj’s friendship is that they would risk their lives to get Baralai back. 

Still annoyed that to get 100%, you have to mash the x button and hear four whistles! It’s like dude, I’m not sure if I really heard four!? And who would know this without a walkthrough?! Sigh. It was kinda awkward seeing Yuna and Shuyin hug lolol, but I guess Lenne’s feelings overcame her alongside her own feelings of hoping that it’s Tidus. I guess despite the craziness of Shuyin, you’ve gotta admire his persistence on protecting the woman he loves and doing everything he can to save her and then once she was dead, it only made him hate Spira for making it impossible for them to live happily. On to chapter 4~ I hope all the commspheres are set in every place I went to, because if it isn’t, I’ll dieee.

[universal-kitty]

Alright pal I have this silly headcanon that Wrench borrows your hoodie and (sometimes tries to hide it to tease you lol) but he loves it because it reminds him of you and to him- you're home. He loves you so very much and he won't shut up about it. Believe me I've had to hear him ramble on about you! 💖🧡 [robotarmjokes]

@robotarmjokes

   SLFKGJFDKSLGJ, IT’D DEPEND....ON WHAT YOU MEAN BY MY HOODIE........

   Cause if you mean, like...the one I usually wear (aka me not hijacking his like I’m doing right now), for example? I have a feeling they’d barely fit him!! He’d have his belly button showing and the sleeves wouldn’t even reach his wrists... (Not that it seems to matter; he shoves up his own hoodie sleeves to his elbows for work.)

   WHAT HE DOES NAB FROM ME, HOWEVER!!!! My dad did legitimately not think abt sizing when he got into the Marvel Collector Corps. for awhile...so I got a small bundle of Marvel-based shirts in size XXL.

   You know he’s stealing those from time to time. (Which is fair, but he’s not allowed to get ‘em dirty. If he does so anyways, he washes ‘em. If they STAY dirty, then he knows who’s not allowed to forget who didn’t listen to me. >:/ I LIKE THOSE SHIRTS, BABE; DON’T RUIN ‘EM!!!!)

   Also... PLEASE TELL HIM TO RELAX IF HE GETS TOO MUCH!!! He can be SUCH a chatterbox and manhandler of conversations, so.... If he gets to be too much, you lemme know!!! slghjfkdkjg I wanna whine abt why is he like this, but...it’s cute and I can’t even be huffy at that....

[meshugana1]

A bratty millennial visits a museum and becomes a blowjob obsessed 50’s bimbo

   Meredith tapped her phone and scrolled through the news feed, desperate to kill time until her meal ticket for the day arrived, some dorky looking guy named Bill or something. He was late which only served to piss her off more, she was already stooping low enough to let this guy buy her a meal but who picked a lame American history museum? She stood against a large stone pillar that served as part of the entrance to the building, the bright sun beat against her exposed shoulders and made her black hair warm to the touch. She wore only her minimal amount of makeup, no need to impress a guy that wore a bowtie in his profile pic. She scanned the sidewalk again, there’s no sign of him as she shielded herself from the sun with her hand. The little shit was already five minutes late, and the sun was persistently shining in her eyes. She looked the rotating door that leads into the museum and sighed, hoping the inside she could at least find a bench and try to think up as many ways to blast this guy on twitter as she was able.

   Her shoulders visibly slumped as she found that there was nowhere to sit in the entranceway, she pressed on though, not wanting to simply bake in the sunlight. She thanked God for her phone right now, the further she progressed into this place the more she regretted agreeing to meet this guy. Everything in this building just reminded her of how great everything is now and how sexist and racist people were before. Slavery, genocide, rampant sexism, that’s all that was here, and it was no less prevalent than right in front of her. The nineteen-fifties exhibit was an assault on the eyes with its absurd colors and silly displays of toxic masculinity. Picture of cars and racers outfits filled nearly an entire wall and more things of that nature were littered everywhere.

   She thought it was all bad but found out she was quite wrong when she saw an entire room dedicated to “Fashion of the Fifties”. There were some suits for the men, and the basic James Dean clothing but the worst by far was the women’s attire that took up ninety percent of the space. Nothing but long dresses and short shorts, apparently women were either meant to look modest or like harlots. Meredith couldn’t stomach the idea of dating a guy who liked this crap any longer, she whipped her phone out and desperately texted for her friend Ashlee to save her, she should be polishing off her afternoon jog about now. As she composed her S.O.S her eyes fell on the most offensive piece of clothing she had seen yet. It was a huge black bikini with white polka dots, the cups looked like they could hold volleyballs and the shorts that came with them were big in the seat too. There was a plaque on the bottom of the display case that said these were all the authorities could find of a woman who disappeared in 1954. Apparently, they were cursed and spelled doom for any woman who had them. ‘People were so dumb in those times, who’d believe in a real curse?’ she thought. She could no longer tolerate all this offensive crap and in an act of defiance reached her hand out and flicked the cup of the bikini. As her finger made contact she could see an arc of electrical energy pass between her finger and the bra, she felt the muscles in her hand tighten sharply and pain flashed in her mind. It was so jarring that she unconsciously pressed send on the message she had composed to her friend.

   “Fuck!” she cried out and fanned her hand trying to alleviate as much pain as she could. ‘Stupid outfit’, she thought, ‘What the hell did it do that for?’ She inserts the throwing tip of her finger in her mouth to calm it down, and a moment later all the panic and pain have gone and only the sounds of sucking can be heard in the empty exhibit room. As she walked out though she found it very difficult to find a reason to remove her finger from her mouth, something about the digit between her soft lips and being played with by her slobbery tongue was just becoming more and more irresistible, but still wasn’t quite hitting the spot. She tried to think of what it was that her mouth seemed to be craving but nothing leaped to her attention. She stomped her foot in a huff and felt her body tremble at the impact in places she never remembered trembling before. She looked down and thought she could see her breasts actually growing larger, but that was just silly, boobies didn’t do that. She must just be breathing real deep or something, they can look bigger when you suck in a breath sometimes. Something shined out of the corner of her eye and drew her attention away from her expanding boobies, it was a perfectly maintained chrome grill attached to a 1953 Chevrolet Corvette with a V8 engine, she had passed by the innovative machine without a glance before but now she couldn’t take her eyes away. It was painted a fire red and had classy whitewall tires, she leaned over the velvet rope to get the best look she could and didn’t at all acknowledge the weight of her new pendulous breast pulling to the floor or the tightness in her denim jeans. All she was focused on was the car and the thought of getting into the pants of whatever stud had the pink-slip.

   So enthralled by the feat of engineering, she didn’t feel as her jeans tore a whole down the middle, giving her growing bottom room to breath and she never noticed how tight her loose fitting shirt had gotten. She never bothered with bra’s, before she never truly needed one. Her lips were still wrapped around her digit as they became plumper and fuller. The soft angles of her face became sharper and the roots of her short hair became lighter then the color shot up each individual strand of her hair, leaving her a golden blonde. The changes to her tresses continued and her hair grew, her bangs developed and after a minute she was left with a head of long, wavy blonde locks and bangs that curled over her forehead.

   Meredith had closed her eyes and felt the imagined wind on her face as she thought about her in the car and her man driving it as fast as it would go. She was so lost in her daydream that she couldn’t feel the draft as all her clothing had begun to seemingly melt off of her body and pool at her feet. For a moment it swirled around her ankles and the pool then began making its way up her supple legs again. It flowed up her body in a singular mass but left a residue behind that toon took shape. On her feet were a pair of hot rod red heels with a four-inch lift, her legs were clad in thin black stockings that disappeared just above her knee into a skirt that flared out and matched her shoes. Her torso was encased in a very tight fitting, red bustier that left the tops of her large chest exposed for all to enjoy. She wasn’t capable of being bothered by this things anymore, all that occupied her mind now was having fun, fast cars and wrapping her plump lips around her man’s juicy—“Um, are you Meredith? I’m sorry I’m late,” a voice behind her said, snapping her out of her fantasy. It was a shorter man with frizzled red hair, a plethora of freckles dotting his face and a yellow bow tie holding the neck of his short sleeved button up shirt together.

   “That’s me, babe, do I know you?” Meredith said, tilting her head and pursing her lips.“It’s George…from the Kindling app? I…uh, I’m your date?” he said, stammering and trying to maintain his composure in the face of such a beauty.“Oh that’s right, I’m here to meet you aren’t I? Silly me!” she said, tittering into her hand, “I just got distracted by this bad car here.”“Oh, you don’t like it?” He says, a little more wounded that he should’ve been.“What? No silly. Bad? As in really cool? You need to get with the chat today Daddy-o.”“Oh! Good, I was gonna say…cause that’s actually my car…” Meredith’s Jaw fell open, this nerd owned a cherry ride like that? He must be loaded! The corners of her mouth turned up in a smile, she just hit the jackpot! “Really?! That’s so banging! You gotta take me out for a cruise sometime!” George blushed a little, he wasn’t ordinarily so complimented. “It’s nothing much really, I own all the cars here. I’m a bit of a collector…”“You must be an inventor or something right?”“Oh no, I just make software and stuff like that…” Meredith wasn’t quite sure what software was but this guy was loaded and she didn’t really care. She looked around and confirmed that no one else was nearby before she made her move. “You know George, I’m one of those ‘fast and easy’ types of girls that your momma warned you about,” she said as she closed in on him. One hand wrapped around his neck and the other handled his zipper slowly bringing it down. She pulled his face into her chest and gave him a mouthful of her warm honkers. She used her other hand to pull out his half erect cock and coax it all the way there. Holding the warm Johnson in her hand made her mouth water and she slowly pulled her knockers away from his chest and sank to her knees. She lined up the engorged tallywacker with her mouth and looked him in the eyes, “So what do you say, Georgie? I take you for a ride, then you take me for one?”

The end. Hope Y’all like it!