#BUT THIS TIME I DIDNT STAY UP TOO LATE | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cokowiii · 2 years ago

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One very awkward silent walk later

notice how my character scaling just fkn does inconsistent :)

Edit: I’m at work and relooking at these pages >:(

uhhhh same number as last time? 250 notes?

beeeee4

Nect

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kevinsdsy · 7 days ago

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okay going to continue the golden raven tomorrow but it looks like i’ll need monday evening after work too to wrap everything up

#im on 47% so maybe i’ll be able to finish it tomorrow after all #especially becaus i didnt have my hands on tgr til the afternoon #and if i wake up on time tomorrow i’ll have the morning to read too #except today i could read til 2.30 am and i dont want to stay up that late if i have work the next day #but maybe i’ll channel my high school years to do it especially if i don’t have too many chapters left around midnight #we’ll see

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voidshrub · 5 months ago

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Can you draw stuff of Cold War? (Soldierheavy) 👉👈 it never gets any attention and that bums me out

I didn’t even consider soldierheavy as a ship, ohg… I hope these suffice for ya ^.^

Don’t mind me experimenting on how to draw mr the heavy weapons guy… he’s hard to figure out…

#I think I’ll stay open to requests actually! not gonna outright announce it but maybe I’ll take some id they pop up :3 #I like to think they discussed their wedding and soldier ssked who would be the wife. heavy didnt want the wedding dress so-#not my best art but yknow what… cute enough imo :3 #and don’t mind the blob hands was too tired to figure those out..#ask #tf2 #soldier tf2 #heavy tf2 #heavysoldier #cold war tf2 #bush art #request #ehehehe and a kostamoinen sfm reference :D #it’s so late time to sleep-

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liquidstar · 11 months ago

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a friend who'd wait :)

#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol #finn's ocs #finn's art #i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me #and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun #i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past #he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it #he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned #which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them #they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore #but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird #and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place #though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library #and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together #since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door #eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement #barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate #but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd #he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself #but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov #sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3 #but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh

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orcelito · 1 year ago

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Wild that anytime I post an update a lot of people read it and are even excited about it and have their own thoughts and reactions to it that I'll never know.

Comments are only the very tip of the iceberg with it. And I am Very grateful to commenters for letting me in on it. But in the same way that I'll be excited with my friends when a fic we love updates, it's likely that Other people enthuse with Their friends when my fic updates. And it's just so strange. An experience I'll never have access to.

Everyone's relationship with my fic is unique. So many different people with so many different circumstances and preferences... and the number of people that have told me that my fic is one of their favorites, some even saying it's their Favorite favorite... every single one of them have their own relationship with my writing.

It's just interesting to me. I think and think and think on my writing. I have my plans for basically the entire fic, the way I want it to end already thought out, all the major plot beats and the relationship progressions, All of that thought out. I love my writing so very much, but I'm on the inside looking out. This is my mechanical horse, and I'm in here laying out the groundwork and pulling levers and constructing limbs, puttering away making the horse move. Forever and always, my relationship with it will be more intimate than anyone's, and yet more clinical. Because I know it better than the back of my own hand, but I'll never have the experience of reading it fresh. Of reading it without knowing everything that's going to happen from now to the end and beyond. I won't have the thrill of the plot twists I have planned, the delight at seeing things progress, the horror at seeing things go wrong...

This is my mechanical horse, and I'm making it move.

I just always wonder what it must be like to see it from the outside. I hope to others that it's a pretty horse.

#speculation nation #itnl shit #didnt mean to write this much about the concept but i really am so...#jealous almost. id love to be able to read my fic as a reader.#because it's tailor made to my tastes Exactly.#and i know it's good writing. i surprise myself even sometimes with how good things end up.#it's never a doubt in my mind that i'll make things good. even the harder things . while bringing trepitation . i know i'll figure them out.#the relationship a fic writer has with their own fic is so... yeah. intimate. but still somehow emotionally removed.#but thats how it goes with any art piece i think #the creator sees all the bits and pieces that went into it. remembers the thoughts as they made it #they know their work better than Anyone Else. but they'll never be able to experience it like an outsider.#is my fic helping someone through a rough breakup? is it something someone rereads when theyre sad?#is it a fic that people stay up way too late reading? the fic that someone discovers and consumes all within a day?#that voracious love. ive experienced it many times with other fics. but i can never experience it with my own.#but in the end. that's okay. i will just continue to do as i wish with it. and maybe people will continue to like it.#it is my goal to make a fic that people will never forget. what that may mean differs depending on the person.#i want it to be the best fic it can be. and i will make it so with every brick i lay down.#puttering about for days and weeks and months. it's Most of what i think about. it's my impact on the world.#and it's sitting for 3 hours after work in the storage room writing until im shivering but Satisfied with a productive writing session #it's writing some of my most emotional scenes while sitting for an hour on the toilet #no one else knows what the toilet written scenes are. but I Do. such is my relationship with my fic.#(the focus in the Quiet Rooms cannot be underestimated. the bathroom is indeed one of the Quiet Rooms lol)#& man. ive rambled so much now. but i just love my fic so very much #i'll never be an ITNL reader. and that's okay. because i'm its writer. & that's a status that No One Else can boast.#even those people who state that it's their Favorite favorite cant rival the intimacy of my own relationship with it.#I Am Its Writer and that means so very much to me.#i... really do love my fic y'all

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penisbilt · 10 months ago

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the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now

#latimers parents not mine!!!! i am NOT moving back to florida LOL #really hope that the changes will be good for my mental health. this apartment is toxic to us #ive been on the verge of meltdowns Kind Of A Lot lately. imnot doing great #extremely dependent on substances. just to reach a baseline level of functioning. but even that isnt working as much anymore #the only things i do on my phone or tablet these days is like. 2 mobile games. and skirting past my dms to check latimers blog #its too overwhelming to even open discord these days yknow. everything on earth is too much for me right meow #i havent been drawing i havent been social online OR irl i havent been cooking or creating #i havent been keeping up with personal hygiene like at all im particularly ashamed about that one #i've been really bad about doing my T the past few months which is a HUGE shame because im SO fucking hyped to be on it #theres just. too many obstacles in getting it done half the time. and the other half of the time i just forget #anyway. anyway.#our lease ends in july so between now and then we're just gonna try our best to tolerate our living situation enough to get by #there's a light at the end of the tunnel. and its called 'i only have to be in charge of like 2 rooms at most. and not a household!'#we're gonna try to slowly comb through all our things between now and then so the process of moving wont suck as bad #cuz listen. its pretty fucking bad right now #maybe not for other people. but it is for me. and its okay to let myself come to terms with that #im just. so relieved. still very stressed! but theres at least light at the end of the tunnel and its only like 2 months away #ill be able to draw guilt-free again. ill be able to just EXIST guilt-free #i dont think ive felt guilt-free for just existing the way i do since like. turning 20 #i know my mom wouldve loved if i stayed home forever. and im sad i cant be there for her #but ever since i had a fight with my dad at 15 or 16 it just really felt like he didnt want me there more and more #maybe as the youngest he was resenting that i was preventing him from becoming an empty nester or something. i dont know #because all the other kids had been moved out and on their own at least once but i had never left home before #i dont know if he'd be heartbroken or not to hear that i feeling like he was resenting me. but thats the energy i was picking up for years #i dunno. i dont know #anyway. back to housing. for now im going to try to relax and store energy for the moving process #the huge pile of things by the kitchen? i dont have to worry about that becoming permanent because we're leaving in 2 months #the general discord of the state of our possessions? we have to go through everything to pack it all anyway. we can move in RIGHT this time #when we moved in here we didnt have a car or license so we were dependent on latimers 3-hr-drive-away parents to help us move #just /across town/. and we had a whole month between leases! but it still had to be done in a weekend

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nenoname · 5 months ago

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it's still a tragedy that people slept on bill's obsession for stan that's comprised of pure loathing and self projection

#i am. shaking people's shoulders.#love that the book mainly has bill mention stan as little as possible and #basically only as taunts to ford in the lost pages cos he doesnt want to think about him #but then after snapping at stan's letter he's like 'FINE!!! I'LL SHOW THE WORLD ALL OF YOUR PATHETIC SECRETS'#and then he has an even worse breakdown #missing that high from discovering that poem after staying up too late #'its only been like 2 months thats way too early to be nostalgic' time has both being going by too fast and too slow #we didnt get bill swearing vengeance on stan but god 'still on your mind' is so haunting

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jusiri · 9 months ago

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Gotta say, i think the peak of my school performance is gonna be that on our last project of the semester, on the project that all of the upperclassmen said they hated, that people said made them cry

when my teacher was having individual discussions with each of us to go over any mistakes we made and explain it, when i went to talk to him, he said that there's about 15-20 mistakes that students will typically make

and i didn't make any of them

And frankly i dont think im gonna do that well in something ever for the rest of my whole academic career lmao

#i got fucking 99% on that thing #i had one point marked off and it was for sizing something wrong and technically i couldve fixed that but i didnt want to lol #and to be clear i didn't just breeze through this #i stayed up til midnight of the day it was due trying to finish it on time #it was miserable and i still didn't get it in on time #i tried to submit my unfinished project too close to midnight and it took to long to load and it turned it in a minute late #so i just said 'fuck it' and went to bed #decided if it was already late id just finish it next day and resubmit it #and Huzzah!#he didn't count me off #in my defense everyone else had been turning things in late except me #and i was on time for all my other projects so i deserved One Late Project

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lesbianuhaulindustrialcomplex · 1 year ago

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I did something recently that hurt my mom's feelings and the world has come to a fucking halt about it. Everyone keeps reaching out to me to be like "hey you hurt your mom's feelings idk if you know" even though she and I have extensively talked about it and I've given multiple genuine apologies because she keeps going to everyone who will still talk to her in our family (not very many people) and complaining about me and I'm just like. Genuinely I am very remorseful that I hurt my mother but like. Where the fuck was all this energy when she was hurting her fucking children for 30+ years?

#i technically uninvited her to something #the situation is that i planned a whole birthday party for myself and then BECAUSE MY MOM PICKED A HUGE FIGHT WITH ALL OF HER SIBLINGS #like 75% of the people i invited (my aunts and uncles and cousins) canceled on me #so i canceled my birthday party but asked my brother sister and my brothers wife to still come over that night #they were only coming to see my apartment for the first time. our plan was to get kind of drunk and loud and do karaoke on my couch #my mom has seen my apartment dozens of times #ive invited my parents over for multiple casual dinners. they HATE driving to my area bc its too busy #my mom HATES loud chitchat and music and bad singing and staying up late.#all things we did that night!#and if i were confident i could extend a polite invitation that would have been turned down for inclusion's sake then i would have done that #but i fucking didnt invite her! because she would have said yes! and then she would have been policing the event and my behavior all night!#BECAUSE SHE IS A DIAGNOSED NARCISSIST WHO DOESN'T HAVE THE SKILLS TO PREVENT THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOR #and i know she can't really help it. i know her life was so fucking hard. but she made MY life hard. she STILL makes my life hard.#i just wanted one fucking night to have fun with people that love me. just one fucking night! and she tried her VERY best to ruin that #even without an invite #and tbh in some ways she really succeeded in ruining it. half the fucking time was spent talking about her and how to handle this situation #and if this is a precursor to her gettting fucking worse again and going back to inpatient #im just fucking tired of it man

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arolesbianism · 15 days ago

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Ok I'm back on the nugget obsession grind. Juliet Loki and Parker in ruina fighting alongside each other like it's a love language while Saxxly and Roland just sorta awkwardly fight like normal people around them

#rat rambles #oc posting #lobotomy posting #loki absolutely Hates parker's guts in lob corp but I think he warms up to them during ruina #mainly because I imagine the two click quite well in combat and loki very much enjoys combat so thats enough to get him to slow down the #parker hate train especially since parker themself has mellowed out a bit since lob corp #plus loki cant deny that they make juliet happy so he eventually gives in and gives them the thumbs up #he mostly hated parker before because he would regularly say some pretty nasty things abt juliet #well tbf parker would regularly call everyone and everything an embodiment of evil so juliet wasnt special #well ok they did treat her as uniquely evil but like it was mostly a part of their whole song and dance they had going on #but the two eventually actually managed to somewhat successfully bridge the gap between their beliefs #so while parker still will say it is evil to exist and all that jazz theyve kind of accepted that they enjoy to engage in said evil now #so theyve chilled out a lot in terms of their beliefs and while they're still a judgy bitch at least now theyre having fun with it #and juliet and loki are both also judgy bitches so they can now be three judgy bitches #they all still suck as people they just all get along now and have made peace with their situation #not in the sense that they retrospected on their past actions just that juliet and loki were real bummed out that lob corp didnt work out #but maybe the real meaning of life was the friends we made along the way <3 (they have traumatized so many fucking ppl with no regret)#in general my keter has a real theme of wow this is unsatisfying as hell #a bunch of shitty assholes just fully coming out the other end happy without having to better themselves as people #well maybe not saxxly I dont think shes capable of being happy lol #I am interested in giving her some kind of arc tho Im just not sure what kind #mainly its about how much I wanna lean into the unsatisfying nature of this floor #generally one of the big things Im going for with my nuggets is that this isnt their story #and as such the trajectory of their characters aren't always going to be fair or satisfying #I do still want to give some of my less shitty guys room to grow and find joy ofc but many shitty assholes will get away scott free #primarily yuri isnt even slightly bummed by all this shes doing great #she and maxim are chilling with binah and having a gay ol time #anyways I accidentally stayed up too late without showering so time to go to bed sad and dirty

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trendfag · 2 months ago

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every once in a while i remember the one good thing covid did for me which was get me out of having to help put on a model un crisis committee despite having never done anything model un related in my life

#i signed up because my friends did and we got a free stay at a nice hotel with everyone putting on AND attending the event which it was for #students at other colleges…and then my friends quit bc they realized it was ass and i didnt realize theyd quit until i was too far in 😭#honestly half the people on my team also were just doing it for the party…and had never done anything model un related before lollll #only two other people. whatever. one time one of the leaders invited us all over to her apartment for hot cocoa and peppermint schnapps but #i only got the cocoa and i think so did everyone except the girl who showed up late bc no one wanted to ask n she probably didnt wannapush 😭

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maybebi47 · 2 months ago

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#personal #not me using my tumblr as a vent channel bc my twitter isnt a safe space anymore #anyways #just woke up at 5 am absolutely fuming #its crazy yk i give so much of myself to people #i give my love and energy and TIME #i give so much time #for everyone #i encourage their art i advice them im there for them #and yet very few of my friends give a fuck about me #would it have killed you to invite me #would have been SO bothersome to ask me if i wanted to play or hang out #no you just assumed #because my timezone is different than yours #thats i couldn't #knowing damn well i would bend time and space for you #i stayed up til 4 and 5 am for things i do not care about #and im willing to accommodate everyone im willing to break my sleep just to hang out EVERYONE knows this #and yet its me not being invited to shit or EVEN WHEN I INVITE MYSELF im being ''unfortunately it will be too late for you u need to sleep!'#like im some child with a bed time #it wouldn't be so frustrating if it didnt keep happening #if you dont like me just say so man #its crazy people swear they love you then kinda forget you exist #or maybe they don't forget you exist maybe they just dont care about you enough #very few (only 3) of my friends ever ask me how i am how i ACTUALLY am #anyhow #gn

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sylsvi · 3 months ago

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when i was like 8 there was this stupid really low quality cat game i would go on every day to roleplay weird shit. i cant find it for the life of me. i miss it

#when i think back a lot of the roleplays i was in were not. super appropriate #i didnt understand most of what happened most of the time. i just wanted to talk to people #sometimes id stay up too late and russian players would start joining #i remember trying to look up what different russian words meant and try to talk to them even though i couldnt translate what they were sayin #never worked anyway cause i only had an english keyboard #whatever #ignore this its dumb #voice

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yume-no-miya · 5 months ago

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look i love making sae be the one who's so in love and showering hajun with so much love and affection but it's much more fun to think that HE fell harder than her

#it's the she fell first he fell harder thing. gooodd hjs have such common dynamic the frustrating and infuriating type #like look at first she have a crush on him right but as a model. that girl is literally a moth she gets attracted by those with light #though at first she admires him as a model and knew him through toma- her kamioshi. though i think... she just starts admiring him a lot?#she literally went through a 'highschool crush' phase but late since she was like. at college 😭#observed him... wow he's a lot similar to her than she thought. that guy puts up a smile in front of strangers and keep people at a distanc #he looked... strangely alone. why? even though he have friends too. she saw herself in hajun and... didnt want to be like him #will she keep putting up a face too? will she keep lying to herself? and would that make her alone in the end as well? she didnt want that.#so shes like yknow what? let's be shameless. her friends had been so loving of her unconditionally.#she thought that they'll leave after highschool and yet... and yet they stayed. they keep approaching her.#and come to think of it... they're always the ones giving effort for her right? when it comes to planning for hang outs-#they're always the one to reach out. never her. shouldnt she return the favor then? love them as much as they love her #pour all her heart out. she used to do it- she can do it again. love people unconditionally without expecting anything from them.#surely this time it'd be different. surely it wont drain her. even if there's a chance they'll leave her- it doesnt matter now.#she knows she gave her everything and that's enough for her. maybe she'll feel better if she had realized this when she was a child...#but that's okay now! so for now! lesson learned: dont be hajun #but also sae. just have a different view of hajun in her head 😭??? like she admits she didnt really know hajun before but actually meeting #him must be so complicated for her lol like this guy used to be her crush! and she got to talk to him but holy shit he's lowkey an asshole😭#not even lowkey but he really is a bitch lmfaaooo so like. damn 'i forgot i used to have a crush on this guy like i used to like him???'#'in what way??? (his looks dont even deny it sweetie)' i think her crush on him in the past made her more snappy towards him now lmfao #like 'gooooddd i used to have a crush on THIS GUY??? that's making me piiisseedd' LMAAAOOO 😭😭#i genuinely have NOOOOO idea how they started having this dynamic but it's just. them lowkey insulting each other? not really INSULT insult #but rather bickering masked by politeness? like 💢^^) (^^💢 selfish ohime-sama vs black hearted prince #but the one who's usually losing here would be sae ngl and hajun's mostly the one being playful tho tbf they CAN calmly talk to each other #sometimes they just become competitive? sae herself is a competitive one at first it would be 'oho~ let's see how long he can keep this up~#to 'give up already!!!! my social battery isn't gonna last long!!!!!!!!' and hajun's just watching her lose it every time 😭😭#ah.... my absolutely pathetic daughter im so sorry..... when it comes to him she gets unreasonably annoyed. just who does he think he is?#and yet she can't even feel arrogant around him. she knows bae are on a different league than her. that's why despite being very friendly a #expressing her admiration towards them she still puts up a barrier around them? it's not that deep she have her own close friends #yumeshipping — hajusae [prri]

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ouroboobos · 8 months ago

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not a very successful day but its ok we can do better tomorrow 👍 goodnight!! 🌙🌟

#i stayed up wayy too late and then consequently got out of bed wayyyy too late and then i didnt rly do much of anythung #so im gonna try to go to bed at a better time tonight and wake up early so i can have a good start

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