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hiorintruther · 4 months

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An Updated ‘Reasons Why I Ship Hiorin’ — Because It’s Been Ages Since I Made The First One And I’ve Had More Thoughts (and we got more moments!)

Aka: can you tell this ship makes me mentally unwell?

Hi again! It’s been a while. I did make one of these long posts a while back outlining why I choose to ship hiorin even though they’ve barely interacted and on the surface don’t look like they’d make sense at all. Since then, hiorin has gained quite a few shippers in the fandom and I keep thinking about the ship, especially with the Bastard Munchen vs PXG game FINALLY giving us some new crumbs. Unsurprisingly, ever since making the first post I’ve also had a lot more ideas about the dynamic, its potential, some more connections between them that I never touched on before, etc… and rather than editing the other post I thought it would be easier to just make a new one.

Some stuff I go over here might be familiar from the first post. I want this to be a kind of hub for any and all of my hiorin interpretations, analysis, trivia, headcanons, ‘theories’ (which I don’t think will be canon but the narrative potential for them is through the roof) and anything else I think is relevant to the ship. Feel free to jump around and read whatever is most interesting for you. Hiorin is a ship that, for me, is built on mountains of untapped potential. I just want to bring that potential to light all in one place.

Note: for this post I’ll only use information that has been written by Kaneshiro, drawn by Nomura or Sanomiya, or has otherwise been green-lit by Kaneshiro as canon. Merch collabs, voice actor QnAs, the PWC game etc… for me do not count as canon and I won’t use them. Also, the 10-image limit is biting my ass so my formatting for certain bits might be a bit all over the place. Apologies.

So without further ado. Let’s start! Enjoy the yap sesh!

Part 1 — The Manga Canon

Hiorin get their (very sparse and brief) interactions mostly from the Third Selection Arc (chapters 87-108) and the U20 arc (chapters 109-151). We’re also recently getting some new moments in the BM vs PXG match (chapters 250-present).

First off: the tryouts. It’s implied here that Hiori and Rin have never met, as Hiori notices Isagi’s response to Rin and asks if Isagi knows who Rin is. Rin also doesn’t acknowledge Hiori in any way here, so we can presume they’re strangers (although some shippers like to headcanon that they met during the first selection).

That being said during the match, after Isagi has been thoroughly shut down by Karasu, Rin turns his attention to Hiori as a teammate to help him get the ball up the field. Rin has never seen Hiori play before (as far as we know). They’ve never even talked. They’re barely getting familiar with each other’s play styles. And yet, they immediately link up to form a clean back and forth that optimises Rin’s play style. In fact, this duo helps Rin score 1 goal, and it would have helped Rin score 2 had Shidou not rudely interrupted the second.

It’s so deadly that Otoya has to intervene specifically to break them up, so that they can no longer continue their one-two passes up the field and threaten to go for another goal. (Also notice in this page below how as soon as the kickoff happens, Hiori is already running into position in the background. He understands what Rin wants to do).

Not only did Hiori and Rin naturally form a link-up, but Hiori was also fully capable of keeping up with Rin, something Nanase admitted he struggled with during this match and even Isagi was struggling with as well, since later on we see Isagi fail to intercept one of Hiori’s passes due to not being able to reach it in time (which presumably Rin would have been able to were he in Isagi’s position). So, from what we see of Hiori and Rin in this match, they’re on a similar wavelength in terms of skills, field vision and gameplay, and are naturally able to link up even as strangers. I’ll note here that neither of them were playing at full power — Hiori was playing on 0 motivation, and Rin was still utilising his Puppeteer play style instead of his Destroyer. More on this later in the ‘Headcanons’ section.

After the Tryouts, we next see them interact in the U20 match. We start with a brief callback to their tryouts link up in chapter 132, where Rin passes to Hiori. Hiori is acting as a relay between Isagi and Rin, which in my opinion would be a good way to utilise him after the NEL. Whether or not that’s how Kaneshiro chooses to use him in the future is anyone’s guess though.

The next big moment comes in chapter 140, after Shidou has kicked Rin in the face and the game has briefly paused. I think this is by far the most ‘iconic’ hiorin moment. While Isagi is analysing the previous play and Karasu is arguing with the ref, Hiori is the only one who actually checks on Rin. Even Bachira and Reo were right next to Rin and neither of them go to him. Hiori was further down the field but he moved to help Rin first. Not only is he gentle with and worried for Rin, but by some miracle Rin actually accepts his help! It feels almost out of character, given how angry Rin is for the rest of the match, but for this very brief moment he lets Hiori help him up and reassures him that he’s ‘fine’ (yeah sure buddy…).

For many this is the main ‘ooooooh’ moment with hiorin. But what if I told you it actually happens a second time this match? After Aiku goes rogue in chapter 142 and tries to score a goal, Rin ends up slide-tackling him to prevent it. And once again, if you look in the background of the panels following the interception in chapter 143, who is it helping Rin stand? It’s Hiori. And this time they actually hold hands!

The final hiorin moment in the U20 match comes soon after this in chapter 144, when Rin is about to enter his Destroyer mode. When Rin enters Destroyer mode, Hiori is in possession of the ball and so Rin steals it from him in a completely unpredictable move that had everyone stunned.

The U20 match moments, for many of us hiorin shippers, felt like the last time we’d ever see them properly interact. I at least had zero hopes for PXG. But oh boy was I wrong! Kaneshiro might not realise the dynamic he’s setting up with this duo but I’m gonna milk every interaction for what they’re worth! And so with that, I’ll bring you to the BM vs PXG match (note: currently still ongoing, so I’ll update this section as we get more moments). Since the U20 match, we’ve had some changes. The biggest one is Hiori’s personality. After going through his arc in Ubers, Hiori has become more outspoken and confident, playing into his ‘Ultra-Sadist’ style and being more than happy to speak his mind. He’s more argumentative and can whip up a good piece of trash talk (my gamer boy fr!). We see this on full display in chapter 251 when he completely shuts down Rin’s goal opportunity because Rin was too focussed on Isagi to see the bigger picture of the match. Hiori turns around, points at Rin, and tells him “if ya want a goal… come at me with an unpredictable script!”

Notice here how he isn’t simply putting Rin down for not being able to score. Hiori may be taunting Rin, perhaps getting over-confident, but he does still technically give Rin helpful advice. In a previous panel he explains how he was able to read Rin because Rin was too focussed on Isagi, and in combination with Hiori’s ‘unpredictable script’ line it forms some rather blunt and rude but nevertheless useful advice. Hiori is telling Rin exactly how to get past him and what Rin needs to do to improve. Notice the focus on unpredictability. I personally think this is a line foreshadowing Rin’s Destroyer mode, even if Hiori himself is unaware of it. Even if it’s not foreshadowing, Hiori’s advice is reasonable and Rin should listen to it.

The next moment we have of them together is from chapter 259, where Hiori is aided by Raichi to block Rin in a 2-person press, causing Rin to lose the ball. From a purely indulgent, shipping perspective, notice how Hiori’s and Rin’s legs are touching, their hands are on each other’s chests and they’re looking at each other. Raichi is just there lol.

Next we have chapter 270, where Rin has started to awaken his Destroyer and is barrelling his way through BM’s various players. Hiori is one of the players Rin gets past with ease. Rin gets past him with a rainbow flick, to which Hiori acknowledges Rin awakening by saying ‘he is good’. Note here that he is the only player on BM’s side to get actual dialogue in response to Rin overpowering them.

And as of right now, the latest interaction comes from chapter 273. Rin has entered Destroyer mode and has completely overwhelmed Hiori. Isagi actually says in this chapter that Rin has become someone he can’t analyse, a completely unreadable beast of a player. I think this means the ‘unpredictable script’ Hiori spoke of truly is the Destroyer, and Rin has finally been able to get past Hiori with it.

This may be it for their canon interactions, however it’s far from all the canon information we have about them that’s interesting for the dynamic. A big part of the hiorin ship is about looking at their individual information and drawing together similarities and/or parallels. While on the surface they seem very different, almost opposites, digging a little deeper reveals a lot of small coincidences about them that build up to make you realise that they’re a lot more similar than you might initially think.

Part 2 — Where Hiori and Rin Align

Analytical players. Both of them are capable of deeply analytical play styles that utilises field vision and high levels of technical skills. This way of playing doesn’t rely on brute strength or pure intimidation to get through the opponents’ defence, rather analysis, playing with and overcoming their opponents with strategy and out-playing their opponents with sheer levels of skill. This similarity is likely what led to them to be able to so easily link up when they first met. Rin is however also capable of being the Destroyer, which leads me to my second point below.

Sadism. Both are known sadists. Rin’s Destroyer mode is particularly sadistic, aiming to destroy in every way to the point where he will give up goal opportunities to destroy even more. In general, he revels in being at the top, destroying others under him. He’s open with his insults and destroys chaotically, looking for breaks in his opponents’ defence and completely tearing them down until there’s no hope of his opponents winning. Meanwhile Hiori is a self-proclaimed “ultra-sadist”. After his arc, he enjoys watching his opponents scramble to try and keep up with him only to be destroyed by his top-tier plays, especially in a ‘best play’ scenario with his chosen striker of the moment. He’s also not loyal to any one striker and will leave them behind if they’re not playing up to his standards or goal vision. Hiori’s sadism also manifests as him teasing his friends, as we see in chapter 241 when he jokingly teases Isagi for getting shipped with Kaiser by BLTV fans.

Sae connections. Rin’s connections to Sae are obvious, since they’re brothers and Sae is the cornerstone of Rin’s character arc. Hiori also has connections to Sae though. He’s been compared to Sae twice in-universe, once by Sendou in chapter 129 who said his passes had the same level of skill as Sae’s, and once by Yukimiya in chapter 241 who thinks Hiori’s ultra-sadist mindset is similar to Sae’s.

Replacements. In Rin’s light novel, he tells Sae that once Sae is gone, he’ll “find a replacement”. In chapter 239, Hiori tells Isagi that he won’t just be loyal to Isagi and will happily replace him with another striker should they be in a better position for Hiori’s vision.

They’re both gamers. Obviously we know Hiori is one. That’s been a big part of his character ever since we first met him. However, Rin also plays video games, specifically horror games. We get this info from both the Egoist Bible and his prequel light novel, where it explains that he plays horror games to de-stress at night: (chapter 2) “… even games, should be chilling and scary. Playing horror games alone at night is quite thrilling”.

Horror, gore and zombies. As well as playing horror games to de-stress, it’s explained in the Egoist Bible and Rin’s light novel that he watches horror movies for the same reason: (chapter 2) “When he’s done, he watches a horror movie and then goes to bed. This is his daily routine. For some reason, since Sae has been gone, he only watches horror movies. Movies, videos …”. The light novel slightly expands on this to specify that he enjoys splatter films, as well as showing an illustration of him watching rather a gory zombie movie: (chapter 4) “Lately, he's been into splatter films. The one where a killer comes out with an electric saw and a big-ass ax, then blood splatters all over the place. The one where a killer chases you no matter how hard you try to escape, and if you get caught, you end up being dismembered. His heart is pounding, but he’s not the type to show on his face, so Rin watching the slaughter scene without any expression on his face is much more horrifying”. Likewise, Hiori is shown in chapter 206 playing a zombie shooter in which he imagines the zombies becoming his parents and he violently kills them. We see his inner monologue of this in his prequel light novel, showing the depths of how much he wants them to suffer: (chapter 6) “Before he knew it, in his imagination, his parents became zombies. His father and mother are coming towards him, laughing. He shoots without hesitation. Bang! Headshot. The bullet that entered the father's jaw blew off the back of his head. Bang! Bang! His mother's eyeballs pop out and there's a hole in her chest. He aims for vital spots with rapid fire, but they don't fall easily because they're zombies”.

Solitude. Rin is ranked as the most anti-social member of Blue Lock in the Egoist Bible. He says he “doesn’t have time for lukewarm conversations” (although I do think on some level he longs for approval and love from someone, given how much he craves his brother’s attention). He is also one of the only characters who genuinely has no friends in Blue Lock. He tolerated Bachira for a time and trained Nanase begrudgingly, but no one is very close with him at all. Now, at a glance Hiori might seem far more social. He has a lot of friends and seems to enjoy hanging out with them. However, in a Twitter QnA (which tend to have questions compiled for the Egoist Bible or character profiles, but alas Hiori doesn’t have one compiled yet) it was revealed that his ideal type in a romantic partner is “someone who can leave me alone”. The wording he used — 放置し合えるん — seems to imply a reciprocal nature of this ‘leaving alone’, ie ‘you leave me alone, I’ll leave you alone’. Now tell me that arrangement wouldn’t work perfectly for Rin? Hiori is also shown in chapter 172 (which is before his character arc) spending time alone in the BM dorms while the others are out training. While Hiori can enjoy socialising, he also needs plenty of time to himself to the point where it becomes a deal-breaker in a relationship for him.

Ochazuke (tea on rice). Rin’s favourite food according to the Egoist Bible is ochazuke, specifically taichazuke. In the Episode Rin extra chapter we see him going to enjoy some taichazuke at a traditional restaurant because he was hungry for ochazuke. When Hiori was asked in another Twitter QnA what his favourite accompaniment for rice is, he replied that it’s the ochazuke brand Nagatanien.

Stripes. Rin’s casual outfits for both the Shibuya collab (designed by Nomura) and Episode Rin feature a striped/ribbed pattern. Likewise, Hiori’s casual pyjamas, childhood design and one of Nomura’s coaster designs feature him wearing striped clothing.

Eyelashes. Both of them have long under-lashes. That’s kinda it for this one lol.

Water connections. Hiori’s favourite season is the rainy season and he has been referred to as ‘water coloured’ in the manga due to his hair colour (it means ‘cyan’ in Japanese — see point 12). Rin’s aura is water and he is regularly connected to the sea in his hometown of Kamakura.

Name kanji (yes, I’m in this deep). In Rin’s surname, the kanji 糸 means ‘thread/yarn’. In Hiori’s surname, the kanji 織 means ‘weaver’. Both of them have kanji relating to weaving, likely in relation to both Rin’s Puppeteer play style (and Sae’s insane control of the midfield), and Hiori’s way of ‘weaving’ together a best play through his skills (and his parents ‘weaving’ his life for him rather than letting him control it himself). To get even more conspiracy theorist-y, when Charles meets Hiori he calls Hiori “水色お兄さん” — literally ‘water-coloured big brother’, likely in relation to his hair colour because 水色 can also mean ‘cyan’. To keep it on the topic of water though, whose aura is made of water? That’s right. Rin’s! (yes I know this is really grasping at straws but I did say this post was for EVERYTHING hiorin).

Part 3 — Family Relationships: Love, Expectations and Abandonment

Rin and Hiori both have relationships with particular members of their family that are similar and also unique among the rest of the cast. For Rin, it’s his relationship with Sae. For Hiori, it’s his relationship with his parents.

To begin with Hiori, his parents only wanted a child who could fulfil their dream of being number one in the world at a particular sport. They held this expectation of him throughout his whole life, pretending to genuinely care about and love him when in reality all they wanted was for him to be the best. If he tried to step out of line, they’d become monstrous, as seen in his light novel: (chapter 2) “Can I take a day off from soccer tomorrow and go play with my friends?” As soon as he said this, the smiles disappeared from his parents’ faces. His mother looked very surprised, and then she made the scariest face he's ever seen. “......!” He doesn’t remember what she said. He just remembers that he was scolded terribly. After that, he was hugged tightly. “Hiori, you are born to be the best at soccer.” “You can play with other kids anytime you want.” “But if you don’t do soccer properly from now on, you will never be the best.” His mother was desperate. His father was behind her, looking sadly at Hiori. “Please, Hiori, trust us and play soccer.” Hiori felt that he had done something very wrong. … What should I do? I said something bad. I'm sorry. The air was stifling, as if he had been locked in a room full of needles. He felt like he would get hurt if he moved, so all Hiori could do was nod.” We also see the extent of this in chapter 206, when Hiori overhears his parents threatening to get a divorce if he isn’t the best. This makes him realise that if he doesn’t fulfil their expectations, his parents don’t want him. In essence, they would abandon him, letting their family fall apart and blaming it all on him.

With Rin, it’s a bit more complicated. His relationship with his older brother Sae is still pretty up in the air as to what really happened from Sae’s perspective. We need to distinguish between what actually happened (which is difficult to determine as of right now) and what Rin interpreted as happening. From his perspective, he has a moment in chapter 125 where he thinks Sae pretended to love him while they were growing up, only using him as a stepping stone to get to the world stage. After that had been achieved, Rin presumes was abandoned. This is unlikely true though (even if it’s tricky to discern for now). This is where I cry on deaf ears for a Sae light novel or spin-off chapter, anything to get his side of the story. My current PERSONAL interpretation of canon is that Sae still loves Rin, however he knows that Rin’s desire to be the world’s best as a duo is impossible, and his way of trying to ween Rin off such a dream was to sever their relationship, he just went about it in perhaps the worst way possible. No matter what really happened though, I’m more interested in what Rin interpreted from being abandoned, which is a mix of hatred and confusion but also still a desire for recognition.

This to me reads as very similar to what Hiori’s relationship with his parents used to be before his arc. Hiori hated his parents. He wished death upon them. And yet, despite that he kept fighting for what they wanted, fulfilling their expectations because he was so afraid that if he didn’t, all the blame would be placed on him for their family falling apart. Rin’s situation is sort of a dark mirror to Hiori’s, where instead of just fearing that abandonment, Rin was abandoned, with all the blame being placed on him by Sae. And yet, deep down, he’s still fighting for Sae’s approval again, trying to find any way he can to fulfil Sae’s expectations. We see this in the way Rin chose Isagi to be his rival after the U20 match not because of anything in particular that Isagi has done, but because Sae acknowledged Isagi. We see Rin’s desire for love in the way he travelled to Tokyo in the Episode Rin extra chapter to possibly watch Sae’s match, even though they’d already fallen out by that point. Even as recently as chapter 273, where Rin gives up a goal opportunity because, to him, Sae wouldn’t approve of it.

Rin and Hiori both strove for love from their families, it’s just that Hiori has now managed to break free from this mindset and fight only for himself, meanwhile Rin is still clinging to the memory of Sae no matter how much he wants to crush Sae for abandoning him. This complicated relationship with love, expectation and abandonment is what draws me to a lot of hiorin’s potential. They both exist at different points along a trajectory of breaking free from their families’ expectations, with Hiori having decided to not try to appease his family anymore meanwhile Rin is still chasing after Sae, perhaps fruitlessly.

Part 4 — Headcanons Part 1: The Hiorin Potential For A Joint Arc (which yes I know won’t happen. Let me dream)

Anything from this point on is pure headcanon, taking into account all the canon information listed in the previous sections. This is NOT ‘speculation’. I genuinely don’t think any of this will be canon or else Kaneshiro would have started calling attention to it by now in the main manga. Kaneshiro hasn’t consciously laid the groundwork for Rin and Hiori to have a joint arc together, he has done so by accident and all the pieces are in place.

The bulk of this section revolves around Rin’s Destroyer mode and Hiori’s ultra-sadism and ‘producer’ epithet, as well as the ‘best-play’ scenario theorised by Isagi and Hiori in the early PXG chapters. Basically, I think that a ‘best-play’ chemical reaction between Ultra-Sadist Producer Hiori and Destroyer Rin would be both broken as fuck and would be a great way to showcase Rin’s character development as he learns to balance the Destroyer with his desire to crush Sae.

In Rin’s light novel, we learn that as a child playing alongside Sae as a duo, Rin didn’t have the Puppeteer play style he’s known for in the main series. Instead, he was fully zoned in on himself and the game, moving on instinct, looking for the perfect spot to break through the enemy’s defence, trusting fully that he would receive Sae’s passes (chapter 1): ‘“Rin, what are you thinking about when you play soccer?” Rin scored two goals in today’s match. Meanwhile, Sae scored three points with a hat trick. His Nii-chan is great after all. “Hm? Nothing. I guess it's just about goals. I just run to the bad area and then Nii-chan passes to me.” “What do you mean by bad area?” Sae asks, while playing with the stick in his mouth. “Hm. The area where the enemy panics and falls through.” The area the enemy falls through. Sae let his younger brother's words quietly seep into his mind. “You rely too much on your intuition, you know.” “But Nii-chan always passes to me, so why not? Nobody else is good enough for me.” That’s why it’s okay to move on impulse without thinking. “......What will you do when I’m not around?” “I don’t know but, I guess I’ll look for a replacement.” Rin says nonchalantly.’

This method of running ‘to the area where the enemy panics and falls through’ seems to be alluding to Rin’s Destroyer mode — the version of Rin we see in the final moments of the U20 match after he loses control and goes on a destructive rampage. Indeed, in chapter 152 we also see Rin wondering what this side of him is truly capable of and how he wants to try harnessing it more, but he still only wants to use it to destroy Isagi and Sae rather than playing for himself. His Puppeteer is not his original play style, instead it’s one he developed after Sae left in order to appease his teammates and to be a able to carry his team to victory by himself (chapter 3); ‘Even in a high-level club team, no one could handle Rin’s moves’, (chapter 4): ‘Without Sae's passes, he can't play the way he wants to play’, (chapter 5): ‘Rin erases his best image and then captures the whole picture. In his head, he sees the movements of all the players, as if filmed from a drone’, (chapter 5): ‘No one understands Rin's frustration. But they can win, so that's fine. It's as if there are marionette strings attached to his teammates, controlling and moving the team…… That is Rin's new weapon. It is a play that can only be made with Rin's combination of technical, physical, and tactical skills. It has also led him to bring out the best in his teammates’. It was only in the U20 match that the Destroyer was able to come out again after it had been sealed away for so long. It was a completely different way of playing that was more primal and natural for Rin but less controlled and more clumsy due to his lack of practice using it. Still, its pure destructive power was insane enough to almost score.

In the current chapters of the manga, we know that Rin has gotten a certain better grasp of his more destructive side since the start of the NEL. In chapter 239 (immediately after Hiori says he’ll happily drop Isagi for someone else should they come along, mind you) we see Rin utilising a very destructive play style against Nagi in the PXG vs MC match. Clearly he has been trying to improve this side of himself since first letting it loose again during the U20 match. However, clearly what we’ve seen of this destructive style up until chapter 268 was not the complete Destroyer, as Rin himself says in chapter 269 that something was missing from his improvement throughout the NEL. And so, we’re only now seeing the Destroyer properly again in the later part of the BM vs PXG match. Furthermore, it seems as though Rin might be a ‘restrictive’ player, given that the Destroyer comes out when he’s bottle-necked into a tense situation caused by Isagi limiting his options.

Now, undoubtably we’re seeing the Destroyer in full action, and very recently we’ve seen it absolutely decimate Hiori. This is a good thing, in my opinion, and I’d been hoping to see this outcome since chapter 251 when Hiori said his ‘unpredictable script’ line. Since Hiori flat out told Rin to come at him with ‘an unpredictable script’, the Destroyer can be the ‘unpredictable script’ that blows Hiori away. And I personally think that this should catch Hiori’s attention. Remember, his resolve in chapter 239 is to produce the greatest striker, and his ultra-sadism means he’s more than happy to drop Isagi for someone he thinks is better. So, no matter what the outcome of the BM vs PXG match is, I think Rin’s Destroyer should pique Hiori’s interest as a potential best striker candidate. This is especially so when you remember that Hiori has technically already experienced Rin’s Destroyer first hand in the U20 match, when Rin stole the ball from Hiori (interesting side note here: Hiori’s immediate thoughts before the ball was stolen from him were him having to choose who he should pass to, Barou or Nagi. He thought ‘which one of you?’ but didn’t pass, in my eyes because he couldn’t envision the play working with either of them, and then immediately Rin stole the ball. Rin unknowingly answered the question Hiori was asking in those crucial seconds).

In the next arc (a U20 World Cup training mini-arc I’d presume), I’d have Hiori and Rin slowly start to interact. I think Hiori’s ultra-sadism would be incredibly useful in helping draw the Destroyer out of Rin because Hiori only passes to the best spot on the field. He doesn’t alter his level of play for the sake of his striker. So, if Rin is not in a mindset where he can bring about his Destroyer, then his plays become affected and Hiori simply won’t pass to him. And if Hiori were trying to link up with a specific striker, he would likely pass to Isagi instead. This creates a bottle-neck where Rin has to evolve his mindset, discarding the Puppeteer (which is still useful in some cases, but not here) and instead fully embracing the Destroyer. If he can get into that mindset, only focussing on himself, zoning in on just the goal ahead and causing as much chaos as possible, he is guaranteed to be rewarded by receiving Hiori’s perfect pass to the ideal spot where the enemy ‘breaks’. It mirrors how Sae used to pass to him in their childhood (remembering Hiori has been compared to Sae in terms of both skill and mindset), except now Rin isn’t thinking that he’s part of a permanent duo, rather he alone is the star and he can trust his midfielder to aid him and match goal-visions without the need for the Puppeteer.

The key word here is trust. Rin and Hiori would have to develop a level of trust. Hiori has to trust that Rin will embody the Destroyer, and Rin has to trust that Hiori will side with him. It’s why Hiori has currently been able to work so well with Isagi. Their goal visions aligned and they placed the utmost trust in each other to perform at their individual bests, thus leading to Isagi scoring successful goals. For me, if Rin could also reach this state, it would be a showcase of the culmination of his development as he breaks free of Sae and learns how to play fully for himself. It would simultaneously be a return to his childhood, where he was able to freely utilise a Destroyer-like style without worrying about the rest of the team, while also showing his evolution because he no longer places that trust onto just Sae ‘because it’s Nii-chan’. When Rin trusts in Hiori, it wouldn’t be because ‘it’s Hiori’, rather it would be Rin fully focussing purely on his own plays and simply allowing the ball to land in the ideal spot at his feet. It’s a completely sadistic, self-serving mindset, just like Hiori’s is from a midfielder’s perspective. Hiori’s ultra-sadism means he likely can’t be controlled by Rin’s Puppeteer style, since he plays for himself fully. He’d only let Rin control him if their visions aligned. Therefore in order to successfully earn Hiori’s passes, Rin would need to fully embrace the Destroyer, abandon anything clouding his potential, and throw himself fully into goal-scoring. Hiori can’t be controlled but he’s reliable and can be trusted. I do think the road to building this trust should have its ups and downs. Let Rin get frustrated at Hiori not being controllable. Let Hiori want to see Rin improve while also not bending to Rin’s will. Let Hiori refuse to work with Rin sometimes. All of it would be part of a gradual, arc-spanning development for Rin that doesn’t take place in a single chapter.

In my personal opinion, having Hiori specifically be the midfielder who helps Rin most would be more narratively satisfying someone like Nanase (no hate to Nanase or nanarin tho. Love them 🫶). While Nanase works as a nice support for Rin especially at the moment in PXG, plus his sunshine personality might help Rin relax and open up more over time, his skill level isn’t quite up to scratch for Rin’s highest-level plays. Nanase’s passes are useful with his ambidexterity but they aren’t clean. They aren’t as reliable. Rin still has to pay attention to Nanase in order to guarantee a successful play. He can’t block out literally everything else to hyper-focus on goal-scoring in this state. And as we’ve seen several times during PXG, the Rin-Nanase link-up has been easily thwarted by characters like Isagi and Hiori, such as in chapter 268 when their two-person press costs Nanase the ball. Hiori on the other hand provides that high level of play (he can win 3v1s and pass through tight openings with ease) which means Rin can afford to essentially forget Hiori even exists — the ball will still find its way to him. They wouldn’t even have to look at each other (much like the Isagi x Hiori best play we saw in Ubers that was recently sort of recreated in PXG).

There is also the thematic element that Hiori has been compared to Sae before, setting him up as a Sae parallel which I think could be utilised in Rin’s evolution. Placing trust in Hiori would show that Rin is finally able to detach his reason to play from Sae and he can stop striving so strongly for Sae to notice him. This plays into the shared relationship Hiori and Rin both have with expectations, love and abandonment. It could arguably help them get on each others wavelength and understand exactly what they want from a play and how best to execute a strategy they haven’t even discussed beforehand. On top of all this, it means Hiori would be the one to help ‘produce’ Rin since Hiori has already gone through the mental baggage of his arc and would understand Rin’s mental blocks.

Still, I do not think that canonically Rin and Hiori will interact much, if at all, and if they do Hiori will likely side with Isagi over Rin. Rin’s development will likely come from a combination of continuing to battle against Isagi, confronting Sae and having a lot of internal monologues. Meanwhile, Hiori will continue to improve alongside Isagi as a plot device who can be pulled out at convenient moments, while occasionally passing to other strikers for dramatic flair (I don’t really like this after Hiori’s resolve so strongly telegraphed that he’d very happily drop Isagi without a second thought, but oh well, what can you do?). I doubt Hiori will canonically play into Rin’s development at all.

Still, from the moment Rin and Hiori met in the third selection tryouts, they were able to flawlessly link up without the need for planning or communication. Hiori understood what Rin needed and moved to the perfect spot to work with him. If both of them were in Flow, creating a ‘best-play’ scenario with the Destroyer and the Ultra-Sadist Producer, it would both be a show of incredible skill and high-level play while also showcasing Rin’s personal development and evolution, as well as utilising Hiori as a narrative support in a way that doesn’t impose him too strongly on the main plot but keeps him relevant and active in the story.

Part 5 — Headcanons Part 2: Some Fun Ideas

This section is all about some fun ideas I’ve had about hiorin, mostly trying to use canon as a strong basis so that they make sense. They aren’t things I think will ever be explored in canon but they’re fun to think about nonetheless. These can range from canon-adjacent to domestic AU material, it’s a whole mix really. I’ll probably come back to this bit every now and again to update it with new ideas I have, so keep an eye out for that.

A shared understanding. Since they’re both familiar with what they perceive to be feelings of false love from family members, it creates a situation where they can understand why they act the way they do better than anyone else. I hc that this would help them to more naturally form link-ups on the field, since they’d be in tune with each other’s mental states as well as general play styles. Off-field they’d be able to recognise when something has ticked the other off or resurfaced some unpleasant memories. I don’t think they’d really be ones to talk about their family traumas to each other openly, but they’d have an understanding of the things they do find out and wouldn’t think the other is overreacting, especially Hiori understanding Rin. While I think it’s good that Rin has friends like Nanase who he can be more chilled out with, I personally prefer the idea that his partner is someone who can actually understand the depths of his issues and sit with him in the eye of the storm until it passes, rather than trying to just ‘fix’ him without being able to understand him properly.

Touch-starved and both slow to physical affection. Since they’re both introverted and Rin is emotionally constipated as hell, they aren’t really a couple that would be very into PDA. Not even hand-holding. But it doesn’t really matter for them. They’re both not very used to that sort of physical comfort especially in the presence of others. However, while I think in general Rin might be a bit more reluctant to initiate intimacy than Hiori, I do think he’d still be more inclined to initiate hugs. Why Rin of all people? Because he grew up with a sibling. And he was a younger sibling at that. On some level he would have received attention from Sae while their relationship was still good, even if only a little bit. Hiori on the other hand grew up an only child in a household where hugs and doting were used as a tool to manipulate him. He’d likely not be used to the idea of hugs as a genuine show of affection. But Rin’s hugs are always genuine and often given out sparingly and tentatively, after a lot of hesitation. They’re both slow to physical affection but they’d find a way to navigate their wants and needs together, taking their time.

All-nighter horror dates. Be it playing co-op horror games or binging horror movies in the dark, I think they’d both prefer that as a date night over going out to a restaurant. It’s an activity they can both have fun with as a shared interest, just the two of them, alone at home with no need to even leave the house. They can let themselves get more passionate and competitive (and sadistic) while playing horror games too.

Owl eyes. According to the Egoist Bible, Rin’s favourite animal is owls (a lot of Nomura’s Rin drawings also feature owls, he has a plushie of an owl in chapter 270 and he wears a ‘fukurou’ (owl) bag in the Episode Rin extra chapter). It is also a fandom-wide thing to say that Hiori has giant eyes. While most people compare Hiori’s eyes to bugs, I’d like to offer comparing them to owl eyes — giant, round, staring into your soul maybe a bit too much. Hiori has owl eyes and Rin loves owls, so I headcanon that Rin would love Hiori’s large, curious eyes more than anyone.

Yoga together. While we only have canonical confirmation that Rin both regularly does yoga and is good at it, I hc that Hiori would also be quite good at it due to his parents likely drilling him with intense schedules and being helicopter parents about his health. Yoga would likely fall into it somewhere as a cool-down activity and a good way to exercise on rainy days. While Hiori initially wouldn’t find yoga fun to do with Rin due to his negative associations with it, I feel like over time it could be a nice bonding activity for the two of them. It requires minimal talking if they’re doing their own routines, and as long as Hiori isn’t messing up the moves I think Rin would tolerate the two of them existing in the same space. At the very least, Hiori wouldn’t try to one-up Rin with moves he can’t do and topple onto Rin as a result (looking at you, Isagi…). They wouldn’t do couples yoga though, just their own thing in the same space.

Sharing food. In the Twitter QnAs, it states that Hiori’s favourite food is salt-grilled saury (saury shiyoyaki) “including the bitter bits”. His least favourite food is cotton candy because “it’s just sugar”. Therefore, I hc that he tends to enjoy bitter food while disliking sweet food. In contrast, we know that Rin quite likes sweet food because he used to eat ice cream with Sae on the way home from practice, plus in the Episode Rin extra chapter he enjoys most blanc at a dessert cafe. Because of this difference in tastes, I like to hc Hiori giving any sweet food Blue Lock offers in their meals to Rin. Likewise, if the main meal Rin is given is ever burnt or charred too much for his liking, he gives the charred bits to Hiori since he knows Hiori will eat them so the food won’t be wasted.

Tea and coffee. As an addendum to the previous hc, I think Hiori would be a coffee drinker and Rin would be a tea drinker. This is because coffee tends to be more bitter, especially ones without sugar like espressos, so I can see Hiori preferring them to tea. There’s also the idea that ochazuke is made with tea, which is a bonus for Rin liking tea over coffee.

Cooking. Last food-related one I promise! While Hiori likely has a ton of technical knowledge about nutrition, dieting, calorie counting etc… due to his mother’s frenzied control of his diet growing up, I headcanon that he doesn’t actually have a clue how to cook. Once again, this is because of his parents being overprotective and worrying that he’d injure himself with a kitchen knife or burn himself on the stovetop. So he has zero clue about where to start in the kitchen. On the flip-side, while Rin isn’t the best cook in the world I reckon he’d have somewhat of an idea of how to cook the basics, plus he likely also has knowledge of dieting and nutrition for the sake of his own health. So while they’d both have things to learn in the kitchen, it would be Rin doing more of the actual cooking while Hiori decides what meals to eat to optimise their health and training.

A joint-aura that’s a blizzard — in the event that they ever were to team up on the field, I think that the aura they’d give off together should be a blizzard. It makes sense to me for them to have this because Hiori has ice associations with the kanji 氷 in his surname, which means ‘ice’, and in chapter 239 when he gives his monologue about finding a reason to play, a metaphorical key appears with a snowflake on it to symbolise his newfound resolve. Rin’s connections to snow are less positive though, since it was snowing the day that Sae abandoned him. I think making their joint aura a blizzard could symbolise both Hiori’s ultra-sadist resolve to play, and Rin finally being able to move on from Sae to associate the snow with his sadistic determination. A snowstorm joint-aura would also emphasise the pair of them having a sadistic, destructive take-down of their opponents.

Hiori has a type. His canon type is already ‘someone who will leave me alone’ as I previously discussed in section 2. However, I do like to semi-jokingly say that his type is also ‘dark-haired, analytical guys with an attitude who are really good at football’. Obviously this is meant to refer mostly to Isagi and Karasu (we’ve all seen the heart-eyes you give them, Hiori!), but it is amusing to me that the description also fits Rin perfectly.

Part 6 — Transformative Works I Recommend For New Shippers

These are just some of my favourite fanfics all linked together in one place. I’ll start with a shameless plug of my own fic:

14 Days To NOT Fall In Love (but guess who did anyway)

Summary: This annoyingly mandated break of Ego's was only fourteen days long. That would never be enough time for Rin to fall for this aggravatingly sweet, understanding, level-headed, cyan-haired gamer boy... Okay, maybe he'd need to exercise SOME restraint. Aka: how Rin and Hiori become mutually pining idiots after the U-20 match through a combination of video games, late night discord calls and learning that perhaps they're not all that different after all.

(Chapters: 10 , Word Count: 67088 , Rating: T)

And now for my personal favourites I think new shippers will enjoy, in no particular order (if any of the authors see this and have tumblrs you want me to tag, lmk!):

catch us in the morning by transrightssokka (kellallyourfriends)

Summary: Hiori looks down and brings his hand up to his mouth, hiding a faint smile. “You don’t wanna go home, do you?” “No shit, I don’t,” Rin says. He’d rather sleep on the sidewalk than spend the next two weeks with Sae. Hiori is silent for a minute. His pretty eyes flick to his feet. Up to the back of the seat in front of them. Over to Rin. “So.” “So?” Rin says. Hiori lowers his voice. “So, what if we didn’t?”

(Chapters: 3 , Word Count: 27206 , Rated: M)

Even When It’s Starless by saturnshots

Summary: Everyone’s had an imaginary friend or two — it’s not often they change the course of your life, but who says being imaginary could stop them from bringing your dreams come true?

(Chapters: 1 , Word Count: 2838 , Rating: G)

sine wave by starstruckdove

Summary: Rin discovers Bachira’s “super secret surprise” sooner than he’d thought. There’s a new boy standing next to Ego at practice, and Rin knows he’s new because each of his unfortunate teammates have made their presence (loudly and raucously) known in his life. The boy has a nice face–wide eyes and soft mouth, all rounded corners instead of sharp edges. His hair is a shocking shade of blue and Rin finds it almost familiar. “This is your new manager,” Ego says with about as much energy as a dead battery.

(Chapters: 1 , Word Count: 8990 , Rated: T)

Daydreaming by em_hiorin

Summary: Hiori can’t seem to concentrate during practice, as a certain Itoshi has been plaguing his mind.

(Chapters: 1 , Word Count: 1560 , Rating: G)

My family thinks we’re dating. by akiangelsolos

Summary: “Oh, I see.” His mother hummed, placing her silver fork down on the table. “You must be upset, Hiori hasn’t come over in a while. You have to be lonely without your boyfriend around.” “I’m not lonely-” Rin shot his eyes at his mom, “What did you just say?”

(Chapters: 2 , Word Count: 5486 , Rating: G)

Part 7 — Wow, You Made It This Far? Congratulations And Thank You!

If you’ve made it this far, then I am both immensely thankful and I applaud you. Seriously, thank you for putting up with my insane, delusional brainrot over this silly rarepair that has barely any canon backing to speak of. Hopefully if anything, you now understand why people are starting to take interest in the ship (or at least why I enjoy it). And if you’re a shipper now, welcome to the club! You will now have to watch Hiori and Rin never affect each other’s development, never interact in any meaningful capacity and you’ll be eternally bitter about it 👍. For any aspiring fic writers, I hope this can be a nice hub of info for all of you if you want to consult the hiorin ‘dynamic’ (i say in quotations because let’s face it, I made up like 95% of the dynamic based on analysis and a canon dynamic doesn’t actually exist). Also, bear in mind that in the off chance we do get some more moments, I plan to update this post. So you may end up being subject to even more brainrot in the future.

Until that day comes though, I can only thank you once again. Hiorin is my otp and no matter how much Kaneshiro doesn’t make it come to fruition, he will have to try incredibly hard to make me stop shipping them. The dynamic can change. They can become more and more ‘incompatible’. I don’t care. If hiorin has no shippers, I have passed on from this world.

#blue lock #bllk #hiorin #hiori yo #itoshi rin #blue lock hiori #blue lock rin #FINALLY this post is finished!!!#I’ve been working on it for weeks #it’s mostly for myself ngl #just a nice place to compile all my screaming into one clump #might as well share it with the world yk?#I hope it makes even a modicum of sense to any unsuspecting readers who don’t ship it #rinhio #rnho

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nkhrdstyvskrrtskrrt · 3 months

Text

📎 YOSANO AKIKO ANALYSIS

UNDERSTANDING & ANALYZING BUNGOU STRAY DOGS YOSANO THROUGH THE LENSES OF THE REAL YOSANO AKIKO'S LIFE

WC. 4,000

DISCLAIMER: I am no historian or literary expert I am just obsessed and mentally unwell, if u cannot tell, teehee <333 If this will ignite any hate or hostility (not this post’s intention), please set your sights elsewhere and just scroll. I made this because I love her character and BSD in general to a bone-shattering degree. I hope you have as much fun as I did while researching and writing this, enjoy!! (also English is not my first language forgive me for any grammatical errors ty)

There might be a part two for this, but for now, this is all my tiny brain could offer >:))

IMPORTANT NOTE: There will be a lot of omitted, summarized information that has been subjectively extracted or abridged. This is not a complete, rich historical account but research done to make connections and parallels to better understand and theorize about BSD Yosano’s character. I did not finish reading the entire biography, which is why this is only the first section of a bigger whole.

However, if you desire to dig deeper about her in an unabridged manner please kindly refer to the source I will list below. One last thing, please don’t hesitate to add your own thoughts, I am encouraging you to do so, I will appreciate it so much actually!

My primary source;; Janine Beichman - Embracing the Firebird_ Yosano Akiko and the Birth of the Female Voice in Modern Japanese Poetry-University of Hawaii Press (2002). [pdf can be downloaded for free @/libgen]

Allow me to initiate this observation with a passage directly extracted from her biography (the one named above):

“Yosano’s father Òtori Sòshichi (1847–1903), was the second-generation owner of the Surugaya, a well-known confectioner that specialized in yòkan (sweet bean paste) and sweet dumplings.”

With this passage in mind, I’d like to remind you of this scene in the manga that hinted at BSD Yosano’s circumstances and background prior to being selected as Mori’s assistant at the fortress. In this panel, she mentioned that she was tending to a candy store before getting drafted.

Now, drawing from the passage we read regarding the real Yosano Akiko and applying this to BSD Yosano—it’s not far-fetched to assume that the candy shop she was tending to was run and owned by her family. Normally, we could say that familial separation, especially at such an early stage of childhood would be quite hard on the child. However, if we consider the following facts from the real Yosano Akiko’s childhood and parallel it to BSD Yosano again, we could conclude that the separation wasn’t as difficult nor emotional for her when Mori selected her, because she was called in this book an ‘infant exile.’

Starting from the very birth of the real Yosano, her father was severely appalled by her because she was a girl. Moreover, he deserted their home for a week without even looking at his daughter’s face. Her mother became distressed because of the week-long absence of her father, (fainted, even) and couldn’t breastfeed her properly, resulting in the infant Yosano being sent to a maternal aunt accompanied by a wet nurse.

Two years later, due to convenience rather than the will to come back, Yosano returned to her familial house because her aunt had a new baby of her own to look after and raise. Though at this time, a new baby was born, too, at the Otoris. And this baby grew up to be the brother to whom the adult Yosano dedicated her poem ‘Thou Shalt Not Die.’

Since the arrival of this baby boy, Yosano’s existence has become easier to tolerate—see this actual snapshot from the passage I am referencing:

‘ while at the Òtori home a baby boy had finally arrived, making it easier to tolerate the unwelcome girl.’

As if to rub in the author’s title for the real Yosano Akiko (infant exile) even their servants and relatives had a distaste for her and her personality, viewing her as the ‘difficult’ child in the family. Here’s another direct quote from the biography book:

‘The relatives chimed in disapprovingly: “‘The younger brother is better behaved; his older sister is a little much.’ From the apprentices to the little uncle on my mother’s side all predicted better things for my younger brother than for me. Having to listen to all that didn’t feel very good.” Even the servants rubbed it in.’

Additionally, Yosano Akiko herself wrote that she never knew the warmth of a mother or father’s lap and that her parents had an inherent antipathy towards her that was not inflicted on her siblings. She wrote, that other women are troubled concerning their in-laws, and how to operate as human beings alongside them but this same worry is her very reality in her own family’s household—blood and flesh—she served her parents as if they were her in-laws and endured hardships by their hand and in their name. Here’s a snippet from the biography:

‘“Other women become brides and struggle to manage a household, but for me it was the reverse: from the time I was a young girl I served my parents as if they were my in-laws, and endured emotional and physical hardships.”’

Another possible factor that enriched an equal sentiment of apathy within Yosano was despite the extremely young age of three she was coerced into attending school—which, as made clear in the biography, was something she disliked. What gave her parents this idea? Well, her father was quite the ardent enthusiast of the science of producing superior human beings. With this belief in mind, it’s no surprise that when he mistook the large forehead of the young Yosano as a sign of intelligence, he sent her to study immediately.

But Yosano was too young, too passionate, and excited still to engage in play with other children, to have fun with her friends because she was hardly above infancy, only three years old. Despite the awareness of the adults around her that she’s not of school age yet, she was shamed for her disagreement—as said to her by one of her maids: “See what a good girl Miss Takenaka is. Aren’t you ashamed of skipping school?”

Are you seeing a parallel? BSD Yosano, although just 11 years old, was chosen by Mori to be the core of his immortal regiment plan, because similar to the real Yosano’s situation somebody (her father) saw something urgent and, perhaps special or advantageous in her which is why she was pushed into studying—in BSD Yosano’s case Mori saw this potential within her and incorporated her into his plans, and drafted her from what seems to be her family’s candy shop.

One thing I’d like to emphasize again is that in this drafting of BSD Yosano, the fact that she agreed or at the very least went along with Mori even if it meant being separated from her family, is because she (if we parallel it once again to the poet Yosano) was never really seen as important or someone capable in her family, they did not have faith in what she can do or her future, they did not have confidence in her character. Regarding this sentiment here are two excerpts from the biography:

‘The restrictions themselves (which were not uncommon then, at least in Sakai) did not hurt as much as the misjudgment of her character and what she might do were she free: “It goes without saying that in a house with many employees, and particularly in a morally lax city like Sakai, a daughter had to be strictly supervised. But there was no need to go that far with a woman who took as many pains to protect herself as I did. I thought the lack of understanding of my feelings that my parents’ attitude showed was outrageous and when alone I often wept over it.”’

And:

‘Like her parents, the teacher hurt her pride by assuming that she was less intellectually and morally advanced than she actually was, but politeness kept her from objecting.

And as stated by the creature in Frankenstein (see how I always find a way to mention it haha): “And tell me why I should pity man more than he pities me?”

Why should she nurture deep affection for her family—relatives and servants too, even her teacher—when they will not reciprocate even a pittance of the same love and care? Or even respect. Take a look at this paragraph from the document:

‘But the results of this parental coldness were not entirely negative. Just as

ignorance of her ancestry liberated Akiko from the weight of family tradition,

so multiple caretakers and the lack of parental affection weakened her sense of

filial obligation.

‘What gave her the strength to defy her family’s expectations

and flee to Tokyo in her early twenties? Surely, the intensity of her love for

Yosano Tekkan and her own literary ambition were most important; but would

a more cherished daughter have been able to make the break so decisively? The

seeds of the later revolt were planted in the infant exile.’

For this very reason, I conclude that if anything, being drafted by Mori was, in the 11-year-old Yosano’s eyes, an opportunity to prove her competence and worth and realize her goal—saving people’s lives (although in this, she has been failed). As a matter of fact there is a compelling possibility that this conviction to save lives was another element of the real Yosano’s personality and beliefs. It has been written in the biography that Yosano Akiko’s father was a fan of stories of heroism, stories that involved the act of protecting and saving, and what makes this relevant is that he also loved sharing these stories with his children.

From a young age, her mind was fed with these noble stories, and children are impressionable. That said, the young Yosano Akiko inherently possessed a special empathy and protectiveness over life, in support of this let us read through another snippet from a passage;

‘One summer when Akiko was around eight she was sitting up there in the evening cool with her siblings and some cousins, when one of the older children remarked, “A night when the moon and the stars are close means fire.” When the others had left, Akiko gazed up at the vastness of the sky. Feeling sorry for the children in any house that might burn and worried that the fire might reach her own house, “I tried to think of some way to increase the distance between the little star and the moon.”’

As additional support, kindly read this excerpt as well:

‘In the morning, Akiko’s parents returned from her sister’s house. As their own manager politely expressed his relief that the Takemura home was unharmed, Akiko thought sadly to herself, “I wouldn’t mind having the Take-muras’ storehouse burn down if only the Gusei girl had not turned into a charred corpse.”’

And the last addition to further highlight this:

‘So much in this story of the great Sakai fire is typical of Akiko’s view of the society in which she grew up. She shows us all the negatives of the situation: People turned out in force either because they wanted to keep the fire from spreading to their own houses or because they enjoyed a good disaster as long as it was someone else’s. Even her own family thought it natural to rejoice that their daughter’s storehouse had been spared rather than grieve for the dead Gusei girl.’

The young poet Yosano Akiko, even compared to the adults in her environment bore within her a deeper reverence for life, the actions of the adults and their selfish concerns did not amuse her, she thought very negatively of them. The grief and pity she felt for the single casualty, the girl, meant that the loss of life be it a loss of what people consider an insignificant person, mattered to her. For her, every death is worth grieving. And should never be a source of entertainment or material for gossip (the villagers made festivals and dances inspired by the incident). Taking all this into account, it’s not much of a shock that BSD Yosano was so driven to save lives, why it mattered to her so strongly, why, she was also so severely devastated about what her ability has been used for.

A brief interlude before further digging into the real poet’s early history, I’d like to draw more emphasis on the previous points made—specifically how she’d rather have the storehouse burn (despite having a mother who’s from a lineage of merchants, and Yosano running the candy shop business as well) if it meant seeing a girl she didn’t know too deeply, live—leaping to the future, the poet’s adulthood, for a moment, to affirm further BSD Yosano’s principles regarding the preciousness of life above all else.

In her most, as called in one article, ‘inflammatory’ poem which is ‘Thou Shalt Not Die’ I want us to focus on this particular line in the poem:

For you, what does it matter if Port Arthur Fortress falls or not?

The poet Yosano Akiko was so adamant in stopping her brother, Port Arthur be damned, because it was common knowledge at that time, false or not, that serving the military was volunteering for your own death—there were rumors of the Japanese soldiers being sent to suicide missions—and for what cause, even? Well, that’s not the right question to ask, let’s correct it to what 11-year-old BSD Yosano expressed in her refusal against Mori’s command to continue healing: Should any cause matter over human life?

Remember, she disagreed when he (Tachihara’s brother) told her that her ability could change the world. She hoped only to save those she could reach. She was aware, of her limits, of the consequences, and that she could not and should not aim for such causes.

Alright, now that we can clearly see how the real Yosano Akiko’s qualities reflect onto BSD Yosano. Back to the early past.

As young as eight, Yosano Akiko tended and shouldered a huge portion of their business’s management, because, as said in the biography her mother was “sickly” while her father was “irresponsible” so she felt that she had to shoulder their responsibilities, here’s a direct quote: ‘ So Akiko felt that she “absolutely had to” stay home and help her parents, managing both the store and the household.’

But because of this, she earned a position of authority in the household, (additionally, by the age of eighteen, she has salvaged the losses from her father’s stock investments.) analogous to—as she stated herself—how a servant acting on behalf of the master can carve out his or her own sphere of autonomy.

Our Yosano, if we again, try to see her in the real author’s light, must have been reminded of the corner she was driven into in her younger years. Reminded, of how the adults around her could so easily burden her with duties disproportionate to her age and how powerless she was after all amidst all of it.

This time though, she had hope; hope that she could start anew and could finally leave behind a life riddled with mistrust, and belittling, that she could choose for herself what she would labor for and dedicate her efforts to.

That—in the absence of her hometown and the people she grew with, the absence too, of admiration and belonging would change.

For a brief moment, it did.

The soldiers adored her, praised her as an angel, and treated her as someone capable—one made her good coffee, drew her a portrait, and Tachihara’s brother even created a present for her with his ability. She was needed not as some fallback for responsibilities nobody wanted. She was necessary, in a way she approved of. She was not a better-than-nothing exile anymore.

Furthermore, quiet acceptance didn't shackle her speech and response to the adults surrounding her in the fortress. The author, Yosano Akiko during her time running the business, often had to put on a polite face and way of speaking to the customers and called out herself when she seemed childish; moreover, she had to endure the incredulity of the prominent figures in her life, and deal with its damages internally. Take this excerpt, for example:

‘Like her parents, the teacher hurt her pride by assuming that she was less intellectually and morally advanced than she actually was, but politeness kept her from objecting. Among her friends, Akiko could be open about her ambition and her pride, but with adults, she apparently felt she had to choose between a pained silence and outward disrespect, and the latter was impossible for her.’

Meanwhile, in the fortress, she could allow herself to be less restrictive with how she interacts with them.

Even with Mori, her superior, she let go of the hesitation to speak her mind. It’s no surprise then, that by the end of it, her spirit was broken.

This opportunity for change—to make a change, meant the entire world to her. At last, she was able to help in the way that matters to her and appeals to her heart, she did not choose to be there because there were no other options. She was there for a purpose she believed in. Her service was met with gratitude, they accepted her presence, not simply tolerated it.

Until things went south.

And it did in ways that reignited the severity of an existing fear within our Yosano. How, and why is this the case?

The poet, until about fifteen years old, nurtured within her as she wrote, an ‘irrational anxiety about death,’ which ‘shaped her inner life.’ As if to fuel her unease, rumors circulated in Sakai (her hometown) about a certain family’s daughter who died bathed in blood after suffering for three days straight. This rumor made the young Yosano Akiko weep, imagining such a kind of suffering. And with these thoughts haunting her, she came up with a specific way in which she would accept death:

‘“If I am to die, let it be at night, so no one will see. I don’t want my suffering exposed to the light of day. I want to breathe my last alone at night in a dark room, letting death’s cruel hands claim me with lips firmly sealed, not a hair of my

head out of place.”’

She even contemplated suicide, since it is the only way for her to die on her own terms.

Oftentimes, though, she’d take what she could to stay distracted from her mortality, which is mostly done by reading:

‘So here, in addition to the intellectual curiosity, the pleasure, and the inner

rebellion that motivated Akiko’s early reading, is another motive: escape from

anxiety about her own mortality.’

She attempted to pacify her thoughts and emotions about death, through religion. However, despite her consideration, she ended up rejecting it. From the age of three or four, she hated the scent of incense being burned, going as far as to rush past the many temples that burned them. She disliked, too, sitting beside her parents with her hands clasped in prayer. Affirming and elaborating more on this, allow me to show you this passage:

‘The Buddhist teachings and legends they told her seemed no more than “fairytales for grownups” that could be of no help to her in “preparing for death.”

Once she “asked if Gautama Buddha had really existed and, if so, what country he had been a citizen of ” and was told that she “would receive divine retribution” for her impertinence.

Every month her mother and her friends heard a lecture by a priest, but as soon as

the lecture was over, the priest would join them in “ordinary gossip, speaking ill of people behind their backs.”

Akiko “realized that these believers were not even one-tenth as serious as I was about... life and death and that even after twenty or thirty years of visiting temples and praying they were still not saved.” If they had no hope, she reasoned, how much less had she. And so she

concluded that it was “useless” for her “to expect to be helped by Jòdo Shin-

shû.”’

What did encapture her, and attract her (as said in the biography) then?

Alongside the stories of heroic virgins in Japanese myths, she too was moved by Sokkyò Shijin which was the Japanese translation of The Improviser, translated by—guess who? Ougai Mori. Yes, him. Now I want you to witness this excerpt from the biography:

‘“I envied the pure, noble life of virgin empresses like the goddess Amaterasu. The imperial virgins of Ise and Kamo also filled me with longing. When I look back now on how I felt then, I think that, while squarely facing reality, I flew off and thought of my future in beautiful, idealistic terms, and wanted to stay a pure, undefiled virgin, like an angel, all my life.”’

Considering the new information, we can once again connect it to our Yosano and conclude that BSD Yosano also shared the poet’s fear of death and mortality. Besides her disconnect with her family, she wanted to prevent others from experiencing the fear of dying in a gruesome and undignified manner, which is why she allowed herself to be drafted for war. If you’ll allow me to speculate further, I’d say dying for her (at least she believed) should be a choice, or at the very least should be aligned with the personal preferences and ideals of the person dying—and this principle of hers, augmented the horror she has felt and has bestowed upon the soldiers because what exactly did the weaponizing of her ability bereave the soldiers of, exactly? The control they have over their own death.

She wanted to save them from death, and she did. Until they didn't want to—until, she didn't want to, anymore. But she, a child, never stood a chance against what she was actually there for. She was there as a tool to convey a new age of weaponry which were abilities.

The scene with Kaji must have allowed these memories to resurface, he called the train bombing incident an experiment, and in a sense she too was an experiment—like the soldiers, she was there to further the idea and be the evidence that abilities were the weapons of the future that will completely change the battlefield, without any guarantee that she or the soldiers would achieve success, or leave intact.

And they didn’t—not them, not her.

For now, this is all I have for our Yosano.

Or is it? Before we end this I’d like to speculate even more about the significance of Mori as a figure in our Yosano’s life—the poet was moved, her heart attached to the real Mori’s use of language in his translation, in how he wrote the nun—perhaps, BSD Yosano put an equal amount of trust and faith in Mori, his intentions, his treatment of her. Given the real Yosano’s experiences and applying the same to our Yosano, she has every reason to be distrustful and skeptical of suddenly being drafted out of all the older, more experienced people by another adult. So there must be something about BSD Mori’s language, too, that persuaded her and moved her the same way the real Yosano was affected by it. For the first time she believed—relied on him, despite experiencing so many disheartening memories dealt to her by older figures in her life.

Okay, I’m serious now, this is the end. I hope you enjoyed and most of all I hope you appreciate her more as a character, that would be the greatest achievement this post could make.

my main is @ice-devourer jic u wanna talk more abt this, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING OMG!

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd analysis #bungou stray dogs analysis #yosano analysis #bsd yosano #bungou stray dogs yosano #mewrites

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candlecordyceps · 5 months

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Ok I’m taking the time to Yap now WARNING FOR ANIME SPOILERS IF YOU HAVENT WATCHED IT!!!

This is just my raw emotional reactions, opinions, and just general interpretations of the last few scenes in the episode.

Starting off, I’m beginning with Shuro confronting Laois for what he did. Shuro seems to be a very high-standing fellow from what I’ve been given so far (as an anime only currently- I will start reading the manga once it finishes releasing I promise). He has guards that are close to him, and I assume he’s rich, and knowing that he will DEFINITELY care a lot more about black magic and laws, because they effect him more due to his (assumed) status. He’s understandably terrified of what this means for Falin. And he confronts Laois by asking him,

“Do you know what you’ve done?” He tells him all the hell that he can go through for it, what FALIN will go through for it, Marcille will go through- but Laois knows.

He’s well aware of the consequences and he was willing to do it anyways. For Falin. For his sister. Because she was willing to risk her life for him and for everyone, everyone followed suit, and the desperation to do so was so powerful they were willing to do what it took. And Laois ALSO knows, that despite what Shuro is doing right now,

He would’ve done the same. Shuro won’t kill him, because he knows he would’ve done anything too. Laois doesn’t GET people. He thought he could trust Shuro to be quiet. At this point it’s pretty obvious to me, especially in the episode with him being clingy and friendly with Shuro, calling him the one of the “only ones to call him a friend”, despite Shuro’s very obvious uncomfortable-disturbed-annoyed attitude toward Laois and general unwellness being unnoticed (until told specifically of it, to which Laois immediately got onto Shuro about his health). Yet, he knows Shuro would’ve done anything too.

Shuro stays his sword, Laois wishes for understanding, Kabru gets a drama boner (I find it funny how into it he is), and the scene changes. And FUCK man.

Laois loves Falin so much, and he knows how much Shuro cares. He cared enough to return. He told him everything because he needs the help, and he’s banking on the care for Falin to be enough to work with him to return her to safety. I’m SOOOO hoping he does help. That he breaks down and the sword falls from Laois’s neck. That even though it goes against a law so potent it could get everyone involved into extremely deep trouble, the bonds he’s made are enough. I don’t know Shuro well enough at all. Lord knows if he’ll even keep it to himself if they get out of the dungeon. But GOD am I not thrilled to figure out more. AND NOW, to the scene that made me scream from my seat multiple times,

Faliiiiiinnnnnnnnn GHHHHHOOOODDDD. When I tell you I GASPED. Watching the hands that we had witnessed painstakingly put together. The hands That two people took the care into fixing and making sure each was in the perfect place- scraping against the floor. Bloody around the sleeves, clawing forward- on a mission for someone she doesn’t actually know. Her mind is warped by the mission of the mage. Put back together just to bleed and be reshaped and melded to something scary and unknown and new-

AND ITS TERRIFYING. LOOK AT HER. JESUS CHRRRIIIIIIIST. Someone so loved and someone they all want to protect is RIGHT THERE, but she’s almost unrecognizable beyond her face, and mentally she’s so incredibly far away.

I can’t imagine the distress in everyone as they realize that they have to fight the exact person they’ve been fighting for. Because there’s no way she is peaceful and there is no way she’ll just “be Falin” without some extreme inbetweens. There’s no way that the mage doesn’t return if/when they succeed. I’m SOO excited to witness them figure it out and try to save her once more.

IF YOU MADE IT HERE THANKS FOR READING ME YAPPING!! This is mainly a little storage for me later when I wanna revisit and figure out what I thought before I knew what happened. Have a nice day/night readers!

#dunmeshi spoilers #kabru dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi spoilers #dungeon meshi laios #delicious in dungeon spoilers #dungeon meshi falin #dunmeshi #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #dungeon meshi shuro #yappathon #i am once again talking about cool show

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thetempleofthemasaigoddess · 4 months

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Love is a killer that never dies (part 3)

Dracule Mihawk x reader. NSFW!! Discussion of dub-con.

This fic is part of the Beast in Black series.

This is part three of four. Kuraigana Island is Mihawk's home in the manga/anime.

Shanks being in a relationship with his crew's doctor is an allusion to this headcanon list and then to this fic, even though they take place in a different continuity.

*****

He would have expected pain to keep him awake, but in the end fatigue got the best of him, his body and mind welcoming the vague, unsatisfactory relief of a fitful sleep from which, the swordsman had no doubt, he would awake feeling more tired than before. He dreamed of her, dreams both lurid and terrifying in which he assaulted (name) to satisfy his needs, or where she gladly let him take her in his arms, before disappearing in thin air a moment before Mihawk could kiss her, the slumber interspersed with moments of pure delirium, in which the swordsman heard the name of the woman he loved leave his lips in a neverending prayer, and his hands ran all over his body in the attempt to give him even just a moment of respite - and failing miserably.

What he felt now went beyond desire, feelings or arousal; his own body was revolting against him, devouring him from the inside. Mihawk had never felt so helpless, so aware of his own frailty and mortality, frustrated by his own inability to save himself… and by the burning awareness that the only person who could help him was peacefully sleeping three corridors from him, just a call away and at the same time more unreachable than if they had been on different planets.

He had to make use of the water basin two more times. In the end, disgusted by the horrible taste in his mouth, not to mention the fact that he was covered in sweat from head to toe, he dragged himself to the bathroom to clean himself; a long shower made him feel marginally better, but it didn’t help cooling down his spirits, no matter how cold he turned the water on.

A new day had dawned out of his window; Mihawk fatalistically wondered if he’d be still alive to see the end of it. He was hard again, all the little remaining energies of his body concentrated on the stubborn erection rising as if to mock him; lying on his back, Mihawk was wondering whether it was worth rubbing it or he might as well leave it, since it would return soon in any case, when suddenly

Toc toc. “Mihawk?”

he heard.

He freezed.

The knocking on the door occurred again a moment later. “Mihawk, it is (name). I’m… I’m sorry to disturb you, but you missed dinner, and the servants who came to get you for breakfast said you didn’t answer.” the woman explained from the other side of the door. Lost in his personal hell of pain and desire, Mihawk had not heard anyone knock or call for him; on the other hand, he really hoped the servants had not heard the sounds he had uttered in the last twelve hours…

“Are you alright? It’s fine if you want to sleep in, of course, but… I just want to make sure you don’t need help…”

She was worried for him. The thought warmed Mihawk’s heart, but at the same time it made it even more difficult to resist simply running to the door to take her into his arms. He wouldn’t impose his attentions on her in any way -he would rather carve his heart out with the Kogatana to present it to (name) by way of apology- but to know she was right there, no more than three paces away, was a temptation no man could resist.

(name). Beautiful (name). Warm, tight (name). Come here, let me hold you, let me kiss you, let me open your legs and make you scream my name…

“Are you unwell? Do you need a doctor?” the woman insisted, having received no answer “Mihawk, can you…?”

“No! No doctors.” he barked suddenly, immediately ashamed of the tone he had used.

“Well, at least I know you’re awake. What are you doing? It’s not like you to dawdle. You have already skipped two meals. Are you not hungry?”

He was; just not for food. “I’m alright.” he answered in the end, a bald-faced lie if he had ever heard one; he had propped himself on an elbow, looking at the room’s closed door and wishing he could see, even just catch a glimpse of, the woman on the other side of it. He knew that would be enough to make him feel better, no matter how ridiculous and pathetic it made him feel “I simply… slept very poorly last night. I just need to rest for a while, if you don’t mind.”

Silence.

“Mihawk?”

“... yes?”

“Are you lying to me?”

Silence again; the swordsman could feel his cheeks burn with something different from the fever that was ravaging him. “I’m sorry.” he murmured, barely loud enough for her to hear.

“You don’t have to apologise. I am not your mother, you don’t owe me anything - not even sincerity; but I can hear you’re unwell, and I worry for you.” (name) confessed; the open concern in her voice was genuine, and while he had known for years the woman cared for him, hearing it filled Mihawk’s heart with a tenderness he had forgotten he could feel “Is there anything I can do to help? Even just calling someone else; if it’s… something you’d rather discuss with a man…”

He smiled to himself. “I don’t have gonorrhoea, (name). And it’s not contagious, so you don’t need to worry.”

“I’m very glad to hear it. Listen, I promise I will not judge you, not now and not ever. I just want to make sure you’re alright.”

The swordsman sighed; he had always prided himself on his stubbornness and willpower, but Shanks was right, this was not how he wanted to die, and irrespective of her feelings for him (name) would help him, he was sure of it.

He forced himself to stand once again. Completely naked, he walked to the door and opened just the minimum necessary to be able to talk to her in a whisper, since that was a conversation they absolutely had to keep private. He forced himself not to look through the gap; his self-control was hanging by a thread, and who knew what would have happened if he only caught sight of her?

“I need you to listen very carefully.” he started “The reason I’m sick… has to do with the flower your cousin gifted you.

“What?!”

“It’s true. It’s not a poisonous plant, but it’s extremely dangerous. Where is it now?”

“Well…” (name) hesitated “I have put it on my balcony; you know, for the light.”

“And it didn’t…” he suddenly couldn’t remember the words to describe what the flower had done to him; Mihawk liked to think he was better-spoken than the average man, but the pain prevented him from thinking clearly “The thing with its pollen; did it do it again?”

“It didn’t; probably because I was careful not to touch it. Is this how you…?”

“It is. (name), it is extremely important that no one approaches that flower; it is possible that it can only… erupt its pollen once, but we can’t risk it. Please, make sure no one touches it.”

“I will.” she immediately answered, clearly willing to trust him even though she couldn’t begin to comprehend the reason; Mihawk, who knew how self-assured she was, and how difficult it was to convince the woman of something she didn’t fully agree with, loved her for that - as well as all the rest.

“Thank you. Second: do you have a doctor at the fortress? Or at least books on medicinal plants in your library?”

“Both things.”

“Good. The name of that flower is Lily of Twilight; I need you to learn all you can on it, especially if you can find a book with a green cover, perhaps your doctor has it. Read it, and… everything will be clear.”

Mihawk bit his lip, clinging to the door jamb. “Before you read, or hear it…” he started, his gaze fixed on the small gap between the door and the wall; if he slipped his hand through it, he thought, he could touch her, feel the softness of her skin under his palm “Know this; I would never, ever hurt you, (name). Whatever the price; I would rather die.”

He heard her flinch. “Mihawk, you are scaring me.”

“There is no need.” he promised; another lie “Please, do as I told you; it is very important.”

“I promise.” she whispered; suddenly her hand appeared through the gap, her fingers closed around the door jamb. Mihawk would have given half of his blood even just to place a kiss on the back; but everything he allowed himself to do was covering it with his own hand, only for a moment, the chaste contact filling his heart with tenderness.

“Make it quick.”

“I will. You hang on, you hear me?” she insisted “I won’t abandon you.”

Mihawk was sure of it; he let her hand go, and a moment later he had closed the door, the sound of (name)’s hasty pace receding.

Now all he had to do was wait, and Mihawk waited, sitting on the floor -both because he didn’t trust his legs to carry back and forth once more, and because he was tired of lying of that bed, no matter how comfortable it felt- idly caressing his erection and staring at the door.

In the end he fainted - he didn’t fall asleep, he actually lost consciousness, and when (name) returned, almost half an hour later, only her vigorous knocking on the door was able to wake him up.

“Mihawk? Mihawk! Please, answer! Don’t tell me you’re…”

“I’m here.” he rushed to answer; the last thing he wanted was for the woman to enter to help and find him sprawled on the floor, his ass in the air. The cramps had started once more, hurting so much he couldn’t even sit straight, and when he tried to reach for the door to open it a crack, he found that the muscles of his arm had stopped responding “Did you… find it?”

This time the woman hesitated for a moment before answering. “Yes. Our doctor was with a patient, but in the meantime I found a book similar to the one you mentioned, and he confirmed the informations I read about the Lily of Twilight. I didn’t tell him you were the one affected, I thought you’d rather keep it private.”

Thank the Gods for small mercies. “Thank you.” he murmured; then “What… what do you think?”

“That the flower’s name itself is a deception; lilies don’t look like that.”

Mihawk grinned. “You’re not alone in that view.”

“Is… is it bad?”

“You mean the physical pain or the other thing?”

“I…”

“Either way it is very bad. I-I usually endure pain better than the common man, but I’ve never felt like this.” he explained; admitting his weakness, no matter how objectively excruciating, would have normally shamed him, but with (name) it was different - she was different, and the swordsman was all too aware of it, his erection throbbing painfully between his legs “I feel like I’m dying. No, it’s worse than dying, because I have no clue how long it will last.”

Through the door, Mihawk heard (name) grunt - an unladylike sound, proper of a person who acknowledged the problem at hand and prepared to tackle it using every resource at her disposal. “All right, let’s see what we can do.” she started matter-of-factly “My doctor said that it could take several days for this sickness to kill you, but I’d rather solve it as soon as possible, given the fact it may also hurt you at the psychological level. I… don’t know if I ever told you, but there is a brothel here on the island; I could… send for one of the women to come here… or two…”

Silence.

“I can have my doctor visit them, to make sure they are clean; and… you could tell me what sort of woman you’d rather have…”

One with your height and build. And your colour of hair and eyes. And your face. And your name. The thought had filled Mihawk’s head and heart with such intensity, for a moment the swordsman actually thought he had uttered the words out loud; he had perceived the hesitation in (name)’s voice, and while that might very well have been due to the need to act as a procuress for his friends’ sexual needs, there was another possible explanation, one Mihawk couldn’t avoid focusing on no matter how slight the chance it was true…

“Mihawk? Are you still there?”

“I am, forgive me.” he rushed to answer; to his profound dismay, he had suddenly realised he had started pumping his shaft more and more enthusiastically while he spoke to the woman behind the door - and she spoke to him. The Gods have mercy on him, simply hearing her voice made him horny! “Any woman who can be here quickly, and is clean, will do. Thank you.”

“Are you sure? You don’t have… preferences?”

“(name), I really don’t want to sound vulgar, but given the state I am in a woman's hair colour or her particular talents have no importance whatsoever. I only need to… accomplish an act; it doesn’t have to mean anything - and it won’t, since you…”

He bit his tongue.

Shit.

“Since I…?” (name) wondered; she sounded perplexed, and almost wary… as if afraid to discover what those words actually meant “What do I have to do with it?”

All. All of it has to do with you.

“Nothing.” he answered reluctantly; despite the great strength he had trained his arms to apply, he discovered the right one -specifically, his wrist- had started hurting “(name), I am so sorry… I would have never wanted to involve you in such a squalid matter…”

“Are you kidding?! Mihawk, you could die; you are my friend, a guest in my house, and I couldn’t protect you. I should be the one begging for your forgiveness.”

He wouldn’t have minded to see her begging - but for something else. Mihawk sighed, summoning the little self-control he had left. “How could you expect a simple flower to pose such a danger? I didn’t.” he pointed out “I am more concerned that your own cousin gave it to you.”

(name) admitted she found the matter more than a little disturbing; she had had Theon locked in his room, to make sure he couldn’t run away or harm someone else.

“Good thinking, my lady.”

“Thank you. Now, why did you say I had something to do with the sort of woman you could sleep with?” (name) inquired, and Mihawk sighed; he should have expected a relentless, capable killer-for-hire like her would not simply forget, or let go, a doubt she wanted to find an answer for. What could he tell her? That whoever he fucked, no matter how attractive and uninhibited and expert in the arts of love, he would see her face instead than theirs? That he would think of her, call her name, and undoubtedly find the intercourse unsatisfying because it wasn’t her in his arms?

“Mihawk.”

Very simply; he couldn’t. He couldn’t tell her. Mihawk had never allowed anyone and anything to stop him from saying what he thought, but right now he felt unable to utter the few words that might change his life forever - or maybe not. He would never know unless he tried, but he couldn’t risk disappointment and awkwardness to ruin…

“Mihawk, please; tell me the truth.”

It had been little more than a whisper, but he had heard it just fine, not least because the door was now ajar once more; Mihawk lifted his free hand to close it, but an equally determined force from the outside prevented him.

“Close the door, (name).”

“Not before you explain yourself.”

“Close this door, woman. You don’t understand, I… I might not be able to control myself…”

“I am not afraid of you.”

“You should be, at least now.”

“Well, I’m not.” she argued “You would never hurt me; you said so yourself.”

A rustling vibrated through the gap of the door; a moment later, when Mihawk saw her lovely eyes staring at him, he realised the sound had belonged to the fabric of her skirts as (name) squatted in order to look at him face to face. Almost unconsciously, making sure the woman couldn’t see the lower half of his body, Mihawk knelt on the floor and leaned forward; their gazes met, two mirror images separated by the apparent barrier of the door. Gods, she was so lovely, the swordsman thought; more perfect and radiant than he could describe in words, and so worried for him. Mihawk felt ashamed for having alarmed her, but at the same time he couldn’t deny being flattered…

“Mihawk, please.” (name) murmured; the sound of her voice to his ears was as delicate and intimate as the caress of a lover “You can trust me; tell me…”

“I love you.”

The simple utterance of those words were enough to make him feel marginally better, a moment of fresh air after a lifetime spent breathing poison; perhaps for this reason, he hadn’t exactly intended to say it, rather it had been his body and his mind pushing the declaration beyond his lips, as a defence mechanism against the openly suicidal tendenses of their owner. While embarrassed, Mihawk found he didn’t mind it - and now that the floodgate had been opened, stopping himself was almost impossible.

(name) gaped; she was usually known for having the gift of the gab, one of the many things Mihawk found endearing about her, but at the moment she seemed unable to speak at all.

“...w-what?” she stammered in the end; flabbergasted as she was, Mihawk couldn’t exactly decipher if she was upset, happy, or simply embarrassed by his declaration “What did you say?”

His pelvis was pulsating, his swollen erection begging to be stimulated and then made come; for the first time, the swordsman found he could ignore it, or at least speak clearly despite it “You have heard me.”

“Mihawk, I…”

“I am not asking you to reciprocate; I just want you to know what I feel. I am in love with you, (name); I have trusted and cared for you for so long, but for a while… for a while I have felt something that goes beyond simple friendship. You… you are so beautiful, and clever, and strong, and kind; you are everything I would look for in a partner and much more. Rarely in my life I have considered people my equal, but with you… with you is more than that; when we are together, I can feel my spirit resonating with yours, as if I was talking to another part of myself, or something that matched and compensated me. I am attracted to you, yes; any person would have to be crazy not to want you, and thinking about kissing you is enough to make me tremble with desire. But I want more; even more than your body, I want your heart. I want to be your lover, your confidante, your partner, and one day, if you want, your husband; I want us to share everything, and no other man to exist for you, because no other woman could ever exist for me.”

Mihawk stopped to swallow; he couldn’t remember the last time he had drunk a sip of water, but what made him unable to go on for a moment wasn’t a dry mouth; it was emotion.

“This is why I don’t want you to send me a prostitute, or any other woman. Because there is no woman I could ever want to sleep with, not even now that my life is on the line and my body has been screaming for it for the last twelve hours; the only woman I want is you. If you don’t share my feelings I will accept it, and I don’t want you to do it only because otherwise I could be dead by today’s afternoon. If you do this because you want me like I want you it’d be a dream, a heaven beyond any imagination; but what I want most of all is for you to know the truth.”

Silence fell, both in the room and in the corridor outside; Mihawk licked his lips, relieved he had come clean and at the same time physically trembling as he waited for (name)’s reaction. From his position he could no longer see her through the gap of the door; he could have moved to peek, but he decided to wait.

And wait he did, for what felt like hours. Finally he felt the woman’s skirts rustle again as she stood. “I’m going to send someone to the whorehouse.”

“(name)...”

“I’ll ask for the best they have; you may not like her, but I beg you, Mihawk, do what you have to, because I won’t have you die under my roof if I can avoid it.”

“(name…)!”

“I’m sorry, but in the situation you are in you can’t afford to be picky. In the meantime I’m gonna use my cousin as a target for my shooting practice…”

“(name), listen to me…”

He heard her step away from the door. “I’ll be as quick as I can. Maybe, err, I should ask for two women to come, in case you…”

“(NAME)!!” Mihawk roared; what little patience he had left finally evaporated “Stop talking and come back here, woman!”

He would have expected her to point out he had absolutely no right to order her around, especially in her house, but (name) remained silent; she returned to the door, lowering herself once more to meet Mihawk’s gaze through the gap.

“Well? You have nothing to tell me?”

“You screamed at me to shut my mouth a moment ago.” she pointed out “Which I didn’t like at all, by the way.”

Mihawk admitted -out loud- that he shouldn’t have done it, and he was sorry. “I appreciate your concern for my well-being, but I… expected you to say something.” he added in a murmur; he had reached a peculiar state, beyond affliction, beyond arousal, as if his mind had detached itself from his body as protection from the pain that made his flesh, his skin, his very soul scream in agony “About what I told you.”

(name) sighed tiredly. “What do you want me to say?”

“What you think. What you feel. Nothing more, nothing less; we’ve always been honest with each other, and I’d like you to be sincere today as well. I… I don’t expect you to share my feelings, but I thought at least I’d deserve an answer…”

(name) sobbed; it was sudden, brief, but loud enough for him to hear it beyond any doubt. That little sound caught him off guard; in all the long years of their acquaintance he had never seen his friend cry, and the last thing he wanted was for her to do it because of him.

“(name), what…?”

She shook her head, a joyless smile on her lovely lips. “If only I could tell you what I feel.” she murmured in the end, as if talking more to herself than to him “If only I could tell you how dear you are to me, and what your friendship has meant for me in all these years. Mihawk, as clever and perceptive as you are, how could you have not realised what I feel? That no man could ever compare to you in my heart? That no matter how much I appreciate your company, the only reason why I invited you here on my island has been for the two of us to be alone, and maybe find the right occasion to confess how crazy I am about you?”

Dumbfounded, Mihawk stared at her through the gap; he slowly lifted his hand to close it around the doorjamb, and (name) covered it with hers, just for a moment, before pulling away. “I know what you’re thinking.” she murmured; heartbreak was in her eyes “But I can’t do it, Mihawk.”

“I understand.” he murmured softly; his agony seemed to have given him a moment of respite, or maybe it was him that, elated, couldn’t feel it.

How dear you are to me. No man could ever compare to you in my heart. How crazy I am about you. This was what she had said, and had not uttered that word, of course, perhaps because she didn’t feel comfortable doing so, for any reason, but that was enough, that declaration was a treasure superior to any Mihawk had taken from the countless pirate crews that had had the misfortune of finding themselves on his path, more than he had realistically hoped for.

In that moment, Mihawk swore he would live, whatever the price. For himself, and for her, and for the future they could build together.

“It’s alright.” he murmured softly; there was nothing he wouldn’t have given just to feel her hand on his again, that simple, chaste contact sufficient to make his heart flutter “I can wait. We can wait. If you don’t feel comfortable right now, I understand… I want to court you, you deserve it… you deserve better than a quick romp, especially given the state I am in…”

(name) laughed; it wasn’t a pleasant sound, filled with more despair than amusement.

“It’s not that.” she admitted “I wouldn’t mind to… come in, and help you; a quick romp sounds perfect, to be honest, especially if it were just the beginning of… well, something more lasting. But I can’t, Mihawk; I can��t, because this is not you talking.”

Again, the swordsman was speechless; he moaned as a sudden, violent stab in his stomach passed through him, and for a moment he was sure he would pass out, losing consciousness on the floor like a drunkard who hadn’t reached his bed in time.

“Oh, Gods, I should hurry…”

“What did you mean?” he forced himself to say, quickly before (name) had time to leave “What in the world does it mean, that it is not me talking? I am talking!”

“Are you? Or is it just the effect of the pollen speaking through you? I can’t be sure, Mihawk, and because of this I can’t come to you.” (name) explained, sounding miserable “if it were anyone else…someone I cared for and trusted and I wanted to help… I would do it, even if it meant our friendship could never recover. But with you… if I let myself give in, and discover what it actually feels like to be your woman, to know the warmth of your body like I have longed to for so long… and then I discovered what you said wasn’t true…”

“It is! (name), I am in love with you!”

“... and you only let yourself be carried away, simply preferring a woman you actually knew to one you should have paid for, and the impulses of the sickness you’re suffering from had done the rest? You will die soon if you don’t do it, and perhaps your survival instinct is making you say things to convince me to help you. I won’t berate you for it; but I can’t do it. Mihawk, forgive me, I can’t; I can’t risk it. Let me find you someone appropriate, and once you’re safe, once you’re in control of yourself again… then, if what you said is true, we can talk about it.”

She wasn’t asking for much, Mihawk had to admit, and her reasoning was more than reasonable. The last thing he wanted was for (name) to feel uncomfortable in his company, or to come to him only because the alternative was to see him die. He could use the women of the local brothel to satisfy his urges and make sure the lack of sex didn’t kill him, and then, maybe as soon as tomorrow, he would take a bath, make himself presentable, and confirm his declaration of feelings, and of intent; and then, nothing and no one would stop him and the woman he loved from being together, and enjoying their intimacy.

A day; this is what she was asking, and he was willing to give it to her, especially if it meant spending the decades beyond it together. Unless…

“Mihawk?”

“What if someone could attest my feelings for you already existed before that blasted flower poisoned me?” he whispered; he had started sweating again, which was probably why his mouth felt drier than a desert. Or maybe not. “And that I also hoped to take advantage of our time here alone, to confess what I felt?”

(name) didn’t answer; she was biting her lip -Gods, if only he could- her lovely face a picture of uncertainty, but Mihawk couldn’t mistake the emotion filling her eyes.

Hope.

The swordsman reached behind him to take his Den Den Mushi from the bedside table. “Call Shanks; he knows everything. Ask him. I… have told him about you, many times. Ask him what I said; he’s an honourable man, he’ll tell you the truth, no more and no less. Then you will decide what to do.”

Neither spoke as the Den Den Mushi passed from his hands to hers; she smiled shyly, like the sun after a violent storm, and stood. “I’ll be back soon.” she promised.

“I can wait.” he assured her, and smiled “As long as I need; you are worth it, (name).”

They parted, and Mihawk forced his legs to carry him to the bathroom; even if (name) decided she was more comfortable waiting for him not to be victim of a poison that could kill him if he didn’t have sex soon, he didn’t want her to see him looking, and smelling, as a swamp rat after a hurricane.

Fifteen minutes later he was sitting on the edge of the bed wearing a comfortable pair of black trousers, his still damp hair and naked torso drying at the sunlight filtering through the window; he was forcing himself to breathe normally, given the fact that, after he had emptied his stomach once more -even though he had nothing else to release; he had brushed his teeth furiously, not wanting his first kiss with (name) to be ruined by the taste, but he still felt horrible- a moment before stepping in the shower, his lungs had started feeling abnormally constricted, as if they were trying to pump something more dense than air… or as if they could no longer work properly. Dying of asphyxiation in a perfectly airy room was a doom the swordsman preferred to avoid, but the choice had been taken out of his hands; in line with the sickness invading his body, his mind also felt foggy, memories and thoughts overlapping and blending until he could no longer make sense of them. His hard cock hurt in his pants, but not in the way it had done until then… his body was no longer simply begging for relief, it was expressing a level of discomfort and exertion that could actually destroy it, desperately screaming for help against an enemy that was about to devour it from the inside.

For once all of his power, all of his strength, was useless; Mihawk’s life was literally hanging by a threat, and he could do nothing to improve his chances of survival, even infinitesimally.

It was unpleasant; it was frustrating, and even scary, but the swordsman had made peace with the nightmare his life had turned into. He didn’t like having to ask for help, he never had, but he was glad it was (name); whatever she decided, she would not disappoint him.

Mihawk was sure of it.

He suddenly started coughing, long and hard enough to leave him breathless; when he looked at the hand he had instinctively raised to his mouth, he saw drops of blood dotting his palm. This wasn’t good, one didn’t need to be a doctor to know; Mihawk gritted his teeth, cleaned his hand on the sheet he had taken off the bed, and hid it under it. He had already emptied the water basin in the bathroom, but he didn’t want (name) to see what he had done on that precious linen; at least the mattress pad was clean.

Twenty minutes, according to the clock on the wall. Mihawk forced himself to remain calm, but he couldn’t deny it: he knew he was running out of time, and when he finally heard knocking on the door, his heart leaped in his throat.

“”It’s (name). May I come in?”

“Of course.”

The woman entered silently, closing the door behind her; he looked at Mihawk, composedly sitting on the bed, and without breaking eye contact she reached behind her to turn the key in its hole, locking the door.

Mihawk knew she could see him struggle to swallow.

(name) deposed the Den Den Mushi on a nearby shelf, as if fearing it could be damaged by whatever would occur on the bed from then on. “I spoke to Shanks.” she explained “It was a little odd to discuss such personal matters with a man I had never even met, but he was more than willing to help. He is very fond of you; and he was also very, very worried.”

It wasn’t a question, so Mihawk avoided answering; he couldn’t breathe, again, but this time the sickness had nothing to do with it. Finally, (name) walked to him; she rested a hand on his shoulder, as if to stop him from standing, and the other on his cheek, her fingertips gently caressing his skin. She was smiling, flattery and joy dancing in her eyes, and Mihawk felt himself resting his face against her palm; that simple touch was enough to make him feel better, the pain ravaging him melting at the tenderness of their contact.

“As you imagined, he had many things to tell me. Including… that you have a picture of me on your ship.”

He did; he had cut it from a newspaper page, part of an article that discussed a particularly impressive bounty the woman had just retrieved, and then framed to keep it in his cabin. Mihawk had always made sure to hide it on the few times (name) had come aboard the Hitstugibune, but Shanks had seen it once. Is this your friend, the mercenary lady you told me so much about? She is very pretty; are you going to introduce her to me?… and why, pray tell, are you blushing?

Mihawk closed his eyes. Thank all the Gods, at least Shanks had no way of knowing, and as a consequence of telling (name), what he had used that picture for, a month before, on a particularly torrid night, when he had dreamt of her, kneeling in front of him with adoring eyes and an already open wide mouth; he had climaxed so hard it had hurt, screaming his pleasure in the silent, empty immensity of the Sea.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what? I have one of you in my room as well; it’s a copy of the one the Marines have in their dossier on you, I might have corrupted a young recruit to have it.”

(name) smiled. “I have never felt so happy.” she confessed; one of her hands had moved from his shoulder to his hair, gently petting them. Mihawk lifted his gaze to her, relishing in that simple, innocent contact. He forced himself to swallow.

“May I hold you?”

A moment later (name) was in his arms, her fingers still caressing his hair as Mihawk rested his cheek against the softness of her chest; there was so much more he wanted from her, to take from and to give to and to experience together, but for a long, precious moment this was enough, this was perfect, and he could remain like this…

“Mihawk.”

… forever…

“Mihawk, I love you.” (name) murmured above him; when the swordsman raised his gaze to meet hers, the woman smiled, shy and almost embarrassed “I wanted to tell you before we… well, get into it. I don’t want you to doubt I know what I’m saying, like I shouldn’t have doubted you did.”

Silence.

“Mihawk? I’m warning you, if you retract your words now it will be more than a little embarrassing for both…”

He stood slowly, gently breaking the embrace to take her face in his hands; a moment before his lips touched her forehead, Mihawk saw (name) close her eyes, as if to relish the pleasure of his touch.

“You make me the happiest man in the world.” he said; he wasn’t smiling, but the conviction and certitude in his voice were almost tangible “And the happiest I have ever been, truly. Whatever happens, tomorrow or in a decade, I know my life right now is perfect.”

(name) smiled; the adoration in her eyes was almost vertiginous. “As is mine.” she murmured “Especially if you were to kiss me, that is.”

“As my lady commands…”

He had imagined -dreamt, even- her lips to be warm, the searing hotness of a fire that would soon consummate both, but they weren’t; (name)’s kiss was cool, soft and fresh, as invigorating as a glass of spring water, and Mihawk, who had never been so thirsty in his life, drank it avidly, tasting the delicious sweetness of her mouth, a promise of what was to come and a treasure in its own right, the certitude that his feelings were reciprocated and (name) wanted him as much as he wanted her.

He would never learn to be without her; and that was scary, and at the same time simple, because he did not plan to ever let her go.

That first kiss lasted long enough to leave them both trembling; Mihawk could feel (name) smile into it, and when she gently used her tongue to part his lips and deepen the kiss, the swordsman heard himself moan, a sound so lewd it could have made him blush.

The woman he was now holding by the waist, on the other hand, seemed to appreciate it.

“What lovely sounds you make.” she murmured, a touch of mischievousness in her voice.

Mihawk grinned. “In a moment you’ll be the one singing for me, my lady.” he promised, and for a few minutes neither spoke again, too busy as they were exploring each other's mouths. Mihawk finally broke the kiss to let his lips descend on (name)’s throat.

“Do you own a dress that covers your neck completely?” he wondered idly; his hands, having happily explored her lovely curves for a while, had settled just under the small of her back, unashamedly exploring the softness of her buttocks.

“I…” she swallowed “I don’t… at least not for this season…”

“Then you should prepare yourself to have the whole island gossip about you.”

“Oh, Gods, Mihawk…”

He made sure to suck on the side of her neck long and hard enough to leave a bruise, (name)’s panting and whining filling his ears; the woman, well-known for her self-restraint and the ability to keep her emotions in check so that no one could perceive what she was thinking, was pressing herself to him, desperately searching for whatever friction could help relieve the need between her legs. They had barely started touching each other and she was already wet for him, Mihawk thought with a surge of affection; he might enjoy teasing her, making her wait just like he had craved her in the last twelve hours, but soon they would find their pleasure in each other.

“I can’t speak for the next ten years.” (name) murmured after a while; she was still caressing his back, her delicate hands leaving a trail of fire behind them on his skin “But I think I know what will happen tomorrow; specifically, what you will be doing.”

“And that is?”

“You’ll still be here; making love to me. I don’t know exactly how long it will take for you to be healed from the flower’s poison, but I don’t intend to let you go any soon. I want you so much.”

Mihawk smiled; he stopped kissing her neck to look at her, seeing her chest rising and falling with her breathing. “And you’ll have me.” he murmured, brushing the pad of his thumb against her lip “As long as we both want it, and hard enough I’ll make you scream. It’s a promise.”

(name) laughed as she circled his neck with her arms; she pressed her hips against his, and her smile was almost wolfish as she slowly rolled them, deliberately feeling the pressure of Mihawk’s erection against her core. “I have always wondered how big you are.” she confessed “It was embarrassing, but I couldn’t help it; and I may have wondered how it would feel to have you inside me.”

Mihawk smiled; it was amazing, even exhilarating, how she was still able to surprise him, after so many years since their first meeting. “Allow me to demonstrate, then.” he said, and he lowered himself on the bed, pulling (name) on his lap; she laughed, immediately opening her knees to sit more comfortably, her legs now caging his. She started rocking back and forth, Mihawk’s hands on her hips firmly keeping her in place; the friction between their bodies was delicious but frustrating, a few inches of fabric preventing him to taking her, there and then, but the swordsman didn’t mind too much; he could wait a few more minutes, since they had all the time in the world in front of them.

“May I help you with your dress, my darling?” he inquired, and a new smile blossomed on (name)’s lips.

“If it pleases you...”

The dress she was wearing was relatively simple, since no public duties were scheduled for the lady on that morning, the bodice held closed by a single bow on her chest; Mihawk used the tip of his fingers to untie it, and (name) wordlessly separated the two halves to make them slip off her shoulders.

For a long moment neither moved.

“Where is your bra, woman?”

“Don’t presume I took it off for you; but I put on a new one this morning, and it was uncomfortable. I thought no one would notice, since the dress is tight enough.” she explained, but there was a pleased look on her face, and the woman was all too aware of the effect her partial nudity was having on her lover “It’ll save you the effort to unclasp it, it took me ten minutes…”

Her breast was lovely, an image of sensuality and femininity no artist could ever reproduce on canvas or on stone, the perfect size for her build, soft and firm. Mihawk took his time to admire them before taking the soft mounds of flesh in his hands, and he used the pads of his thumbs to gently stimulate her erect nipples; he saw (name) sigh, pleasure filling her eyes. Her undulatory movement had quickened as the woman rubbed herself against him, desperately looking for a release she couldn’t reach.

“Oh… I knew it…”

“What did you know, my beauty?”

“That it’d be good. That it’d feel good, you and me. I looked at you, when you held your sword, firmly but elegantly, and I knew you could be gentle as well as strong… and I wanted you to be both when you’d make love to me. I knew you would feel so good… oh… oh, yes…!”

She was writhing above him, her body almost squirming with pleasure and, at the sale time, the frustration of not having him where they both wanted him to be: inside her, pumping his cock in her pussy as if both of their lives depended on it.

“You’re so gorgeous.” he murmured. He was still in pain, his body and his mind begging for the salvation he would find between (name)’s legs, but at the same time he had never lived such a perfect, blissful moment; the swordsman was usually content -albeit a little bored- with his life, but for the first time he knew in that moment, he was exactly where he was meant to be: with (name), enjoying her presence and making her happy “So absolutely ravishing, my darling… let me taste you…”

(name)’s breathless moan was answer enough. Mihawk lifted her towards him and started kissing her breast, butterfly-light pecks on her tender skin, before closing his lips around her left nipple.

(name) screamed. Again, and again as he kept sucking her, relentless in the sweet torture he was gifting her; he found out she liked it -loudly- when he used his tongue on her, and he did, until the woman was almost crying as she bounced on his lap, filling the room with the sensual simphony of her moans. “Mihawk, please…”

“Please what?” he asked, without stopping; a moment later he felt her hands in his hair.

“This is so sweet, but… I want more. Please, my darling, I want to help you as well…”

Well, the swordsman mused, how could he say no to that? He gently broke the embrace once more, and “Let me see you, my lady.” he murmured.

“As you wish.”

(name) stood, taking a single step back. She quickly freed herself of the soft slippers she wore when remaining at court, then she brought her hands to the small of her back, untying a second ribbon to open her dress; she looked at him, both delighted and expectant, as she pushed the waist of her skirt under her hips. The fabric slipped down her legs, as delicate as the caress of a lover as it brushed against her skin, until it pooled around her feet in a circle of velvet and silk.

(name) smiled; she clearly enjoyed the way he was looking at her. “Shall I take this off as well?” she inquired, referring to the short underskirt that was all she was wearing at the moment - at least, that Mihawk could see; who knew, the swordsman mused, perhaps her underpants had felt uncomfortable as well that morning…

He offered his hands to her. “No.” he murmured “Please, keep it on.”

#One Piece #One Piece Live Action #OPLA #Dracule Mihawk #Mihawk #Dracule Mihawk x reader #Mihawk x reader #Steven John Ward #Bellona's stuff

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