#BUT THAT WAS A WHOLE DECADE AGO I WAS LIKE 19

[transmanleonardo]

The urge to make music videos again have NOT done that since 2013

[drop-dead-dropout]

🤿 squiblybeakers77 aug 25, 2014

how many times do I have to tell you guys octarians don't exist anymore. the army literally killed all of them in the great turf war you're not going to get a hot octoling gf they're fucking extinct

🍤 woomy-mother-fuckers aug 30, 2014

op your bio says you listen to turquoise october

🤿 squiblybeakers77 aug 30, 2014

yeah cause it's a bop. not made by octarians tho, it's a coverup to keep us from questioning it.

⭐ tetradualies-trash mar 8, 2024

guys I found this gem from like a decade ago. aged very well I think

🐡 OutFishing mar 16, 2024

is this person real... @squiblybeakers77 were you created in a lab I don't understand you

🦐 NOBODYTOUCHMYFISHFRYS mar 19, 2024

and here we have the legendary squibly, who fought valiantly against Big Octo's lies and also didn't bother to take the fifteen minute bus ride to mt nantai where you could've literally seen octolings patrolling the outside of octo canyon. truly a warrior of the people,

🔫 z3nz0nes mar 20, 2024

"turquoise october isn't actually octolings".... THE LYRICS ARE IN OCTARI??? A WHOLE ASS DIFFERENT LANGUAGE?????

🦐 NOBODYTOUCHMYFISHFRYS mar 20, 2024

zen you don't understand. obviously Big Octo created a fake language to keep us complacent

🌷 burst-bombs-are-gay mar 25, 2024

omg why didn't u guys tell me my wife went extinct in 2014 😔😔😔 @yokoandthegoldbisexuals I miss u already babe 💔

#also loving the implication that Big Government was like #"hey we need to fake some stuff for this octo thing" #and the best idea they could come up with was... leaving an unlabeled cd in a dumpster???? #granted the later ones had labels but like. that's absolutely insane what do you MEAN

(3,610,857 notes)

[champawattigress]

I have personally witnessed so many instances of pet owners forcing beloved animals to continue living far beyond the point of their quality of life hitting zero that the whole "Deux Face" situation was absolutely nothing new to me, except for the wave of genuine nausea I experienced at the social media reaction to her existence.

I can honestly say that I feel a palpable sense of relief, knowing that that calf is no longer being forced to live in that condition, and there's no amount of "well, she had vet care!" or "it doesn't seem like she's in pain!" that would have mollified me. I have been in hundreds of QoL consults with clients who parrot the exact same sentiments while their animal lies, completely recumbent and unresponsive, on the examination table. It's the exact same thing, except compounded by the ghoulish addition of the calf's value as a sideshow act.

Any normal presenting newborn calf that failed to thrive as she did would have been euthanized on welfare grounds long before the 26 day mark. A dairy calf is literally supposed to be able to walk away from its birthing site, a calf whose only developmental milestone was that it "can kinda lift its head" is a calf that has something inherently wrong with it. If Deux Face wasn't deformed in a way that makes well-meaning assholes spout that stupid poem, then she probably would have been put out of her misery ages ago. I keep thinking of the grotesque congenital deformities that domestic cattle can present with, twisted spines and fused joints and extreme hydrocephalus and cleft palates, and how, if Deux Face had presented with QoL reducing examples of any of those conditions, people wouldn't have even batted an eye at her euthanasia. She was literally forced to keep on living, just so people could keep "consuming" her continued existence. She was forced to live, not because it was to her benefit, but for the benefit of the farm, who romanticised and profited from her, and the benefit of idiots who think a goddamn newborn calf should be a source of inspiration in their own lives.

The people on this site who mourned that we didn't get to gawk at this animal a little longer disgust me. The only difference between you and the woman who keeps her 19 year old constant DKA, cushingoid, and severely arthritic Shih Tzu alive is that she, at least, has the excuse that this is an animal she has loved and cared for for decades. She's blinded by love, and needs to be counselled towards the realisation that the dog's existence is now more for her benefit than his. You're just upset that there are no more juicy pics of a recumbent, half-dead calf that you can caption with "TWice aS MaNY STArs As UsuaL!!!!!" in goofy ass fonts.

The only sad thing about Deux Face's death is that it took so long. Fight me on it, I don't care. Your gross parasocial relationship with a dying farm animal you've never met was not worth that animal's enforced suffering.

[azalawa-scroggs]

About Eddie Fender and why he was a dick to Miles

I first started this post in response to something, but it got so long I decided against inflicting it on OP. This is very long and very meandering and the form is kinda weird, as a warning. It's also kinda spoilery for Ace Attorney Investigations 2.

When we first start playing AAI2 and are introduced to "Ace Attorney Eddie Fender," it's true he doesn't come across as very likeable. The first thing he says to Miles is basically "Oh, look! Here comes Manfred von Karma," and the game happens three years after the truth about DL-6 came out. That's incredibly low, very petty, cruel even. He does start off as a dick to Miles, unfair on him until he gradually realises he isn't as bad as he thought, and as he starts warming up to Miles we start warming up to him.

But also... I kind of get it.

Like... Imagine you're 19 years old. Your boss just died in a sudden and shocking murder. You inherit the law firm even though you haven't even passed the bar yet. You're grieving as you keep working hard to become an attorney, now without the guidance you used to have. Maybe you even blame yourself a little - after all, you worked on that case too, you were likely there for the trial, you left both Edgeworths to take that elevator by themselves. Had things played out differently you would have been there, too.

Did you think of your boss's son, in the middle of this whirlwind? Probably a little, but you're a 19 year-old law student. You're nowhere near a suitable place in your life to even think about fostering a kid. Besides, Gregory Edgeworth was your boss. Someone you greatly admired and whose death you will never stop mourning, but still just your boss.

(It's unclear how well Eddie knew Miles. Enough for Miles to recognise him instantly, but certainly not as close as Miles and Phoenix were.)

You take it on yourself to continue the work he left behind, to help the clients Gregory can no longer help. For ten years you try your best to uphold the reputation and the values of his firm and name, and every day you witness a little more how corrupt the system really is.

Then, one day, you start hearing about this young new prosecuting upstart. Passed the bar at 20 and already has the legal world in his pocket. Rumours of forged evidence, backstreet deals, manipulated witnesses. Not only is that just like the whole lot of them, the tactics you became so familiar with over the years - no, it sounds painfully, specifically familiar to that one long, drawn-out case, the last one you worked with Gregory. It turns out the young prodigy is the student and protégé of Mr. Perfection himself, the man who never lost a case in thirty-five years, even though he should have lost against you ten years ago if the world was even a little fair. You would hate the boy for that alone, but on top of that he's also the son of the mentor you lost, the son of the man you both used to admire so very much.

And that hurts. That none of Gregory's legacy lived on in his son. That this sweet, kind boy, who Gregory always used to worry about not making any friends, became a parody of all they used to despise.

Perhaps you even get to see him. You catch a glance of him in the courthouse corridor as he passes you by without so much as a nod to acknowledge you, or you stumble upon a picture in the same paper that struck Phoenix Wright so deeply. You see that damn suit. That damn smirk. That damn waggly finger. His features may have something of Gregory but everything in him screams von Karma. He's spent a decade trying to shape himself into him, and it shows.

Prosecutors are a privileged bunch, and the Edgeworth kid grew up into a downright brat. Entitled. Rude. Arrogant. Obsessed with his fucking perfect record. You hear he goes around cutting the salaries of detectives that make a tenth of what he does and insulting the opposing counsel in court. He became the worst of them all, taught by the worst of them all, he is everything Gregory fought against and everything you hate.

Why would you want to associate with that? Why would you ever think he is not perfectly fine where he is, with his cushy office and his cushy sports car and his doubtlessly cushy pay?

A couple years later you hear he's been arrested for murder. Maybe you follow the trial, maybe you only see the headlines after everything, after DL-6 is finally solved. Honestly, that's when you start having a reason to reach out. When, had you been less embittered and jaded by the thanklessness of your job, you might have wondered what it was like for him to grow up in the shadow of his father's murderer. You might have been stricken with compassion and horror at the thought of fifteen years spent in crushing guilt, believing he killed the father he used to love so much. You might have empathised, despite your contempt for von Karma, with how his ward might feel to be so cruelly betrayed, thrice over, by the man who raised him since he was nine, who taught him everything before throwing him away like a piece of used junk.

But you still think of how he was like a son to von Karma, of how he got to spend fifteen years in wealth, following a shiny, easy, corrupt new path while you grieved and desperately tried to keep the pieces of your shared dream together. You think of how uneasy Gregory seemed with the idea of von Karma as a teacher, you think of how eager Miles seemed to follow in his footsteps and how much Gregory would have hated it. You think of the many defendants this boy callously condemned with barely a thought, just like his mentor. Of how he may not have his father's blood on his hands, but with the way he acts you'd think he had his murderer's in his veins. And you really, really don't want to deal with any of that.

You think, somewhat unfairly, that maybe Miles ought to have seen it coming. It's not like it's much of a secret that Manfred von Karma is a piece of shit, and good riddance to him.

Three years later, you actually have to interact with him again. It's been 18 years since you last saw him in his father's shadow, looking at him like he hung the stars in the sky, back when everything was so simple for the three of you. It's been 3 years since the truth about his oh-so-esteemed mentor was uncovered. He still wears the cravat. His brow is still furrowed, his eyes are still piercing.

But slowly, begrudgingly, you talk to him. You start realising he actually has some honour to him. That he's not really the Demon Prosecutor the papers made him out to be, that maybe you misjudged him a little bit, in you grief-stricken, angry bitterness. That maybe he can be trusted, after all, with his father's legacy.

Why would you think he ever needed saving?

[incandesang]

i wrote an (incomplete) list of everything wrong with lestat de lioncourt. take this knowing it is a work in progress.

- mommy issues

- daddy issues

- 18th century aristocrat

- religion hops like trisha paytas (thank u anne. i will not become catholic u will not defeat me)

- french

- was a misogynist until the 20th century

- wanted to be a priest

- theatre kid

- cries to get attention

- won’t shut the fuck up about the fact he killed a whole pack of wolves when he was in his teens. that was 200 years ago please try to accomplish something else cool

- his accent is fake. he just puts on a parisian french accent. he’s from the fucking sticks he did not speak parisian french until he was 19 and then only lived in paris for like 2 years max. his accent is FAKE.

- doesn’t stick to his own morals and then makes excuses abt it

- once ate an old lady and had a crisis so bad that he almost died

- canonically op bc anne wanted him to be her mary sue babygirl

- blond cis man

- SERIOUS self esteem issues that he has to get everyone involved with

- has an existential crisis that nearly kills him at least once a decade

- rock star outfits weren’t slutty enough (thanks ANNE.)

- hasn’t had a sense of identity since 1780!!

- too committed to the bit actually

- absolutely fucking delusional (so i can fuck whoever i want 🤨 of COURSE 🤡 of course. 😤of course. 😨as long as you come home to me 😃 of COURSE 🥲)

- got murdered by a five year old at one point

- sees any hot miserable guy and thinks that’s his soulmate INSTANTLY

- had two glasses of wine on a date and then proceeded to scream cry about the inevitable heat death of the universe

- doesn’t know what a fork is???

- canonically into public humiliation and degradation. u cannot bully lestat at all it will just turn him on

- drank the blood of christ

- went down on his girlfriend on her period (hysterically crying the whole time he did it) while his friends watched (she didn’t orgasm. he was having too much of a crisis to actually give her a good time)

- ate a used pad.

- i JuSt LoVe BeiNg caLLeD A sLuT i DoN’t KnOw whY i JuSt dO

- set louis’ house on fire (all these people do is burn each other’s shit please just talk like adults)

- has no hobbies other than ‘get into dumb trouble’

- dated the world’s first terf

- is, according to the world’s first terf, a culmination of everything that is wrong with men

- described his dick with ‘priapus at a gate’ when he wanted to subtly brag abt how big his dick was. right after being told he was the culmination of everything wrong with men

- was confused when human dicks weren’t always erect (are vampires ALWAYS hard?? if anne wasn’t dead i’d ask her but alas)

[destinationtoast]

Is there a way to find the longest running fics on AO3? ie. the fics with the longest time elapsed between first posted and last updated, not abandoned works. I say this because I was checking out your Fandom Stats AO3 series and I noticed that it'd been updating for over a decade! That's a lot of commitment.

Oh, great question! And the answer is... yes, sort of? But it might not actually include the results you're most interested in (more on that in a minute).

I searched for works that have been updated in the past month, and then sorted them by when they were first posted -- in ascending order. This gives us results that start with works that have the biggest possible gap between the dates of first posting and last updating. The first three works on the page right now have the following dates:

Published:2009-07-08; Updated:2024-01-15

Published:2009-07-20; Completed:2024-01-06

Published:2009-11-19; Completed:2024-01-14

Published in 2009, updated in 2024 -- that's a giant span! But here are some caveats, which mean that these are not necessarily works that have been updating frequently across that whole stretch of time:

Authors can change the publication date, so that date doesn't necessarily reflect when the work was first uploaded. (I backdated many of the works in my Fandom Stats series on AO3 to when they were first posted to Tumblr.) However, some authors have backdated their publication date all the way to 1950, and those works don't showing up at the start of the results when sorting AO3 in ascending order of date posted -- which makes me suspect that these results are truly be sorted by the date first uploaded, rather than the edited publication date. Meaning I suspect the above works may truly have been first posted to AO3 in 2009 and then updated in 2024! Wow.

...However, based on the author notes, many of the works posted in 2009 and updated in 2024 were completed years ago. The author recently added some new notes or reorganized/ reformatted, but was not updating the story in the intervening years.

These results don't include any series. I don't know of any way to do a similar search for series.

We can also do things like repeat the earlier search but require lots of chapters -- e.g., we can only include works with more than 50 chapters. More chapters might give us a higher probability of works that have actually been updating a bunch over a long period of time. But there's no foolproof way to find the kinds of works you're after. Still, it's pretty fun to peruse some of the things that were first posted ages ago and recently updated! Enjoy. :)

[valeovalairs]

A Riptide AU that I came up with

Some pretty big spoilers for Riptide Episode #109, please don’t read further you have been warned.

Okay, I know episode 109 JUST came out, and Niklaus is probably going to fix Chibo, -with a price and conditions blah blah blah most likely but like, hopefully he’ll be fine and get his heart back… hopefully, maybe, I hope he’ll be okay- but I had an idea. 

Or more like I came up with an entire AU in my head halfway through the episode as it really started to sink in that Chip is now undead (at least he’s not dead dead yk, thought he was for like two seconds). (Mind you I thought of this while things were really starting to seem hopeless and before Niklaus became a possibility.)

Okay first of all, Chip has a bandana that could change his appearance right? I’m pretty sure he still has that right? That’s going to be important later.

May I present to you: The Legend of the Immortal Riptide Pirate.

So say Chip never gets fixed. They’re able to successfully leave (idk how but they do) and eventually they escape the Black Sea (maybe they’ve fixed it, that would be great and ideal), but Chip is still undead, and for all they know they can’t heal him, he’s stuck like that forever. He begins to constantly use the disguise bandana to just look like himself. Alive. (So no one besides the crew knows he’s undead)

The Riptide Pirates keep going, but time passes. Everyone gets older, years go by, and Chip is still the same. He never will change. He’s 19 and he will always look 19. They live their lives. But eventually Chip is the last one (this gets a little sad I’M SORRY). He doesn’t take on another crew, and the Riptide Pirates become something of a legend. 

People begin to whisper about the Riptide Pirates, or Pirate. How he mans the ship alone, and some might even say he’s immortal, as people from decades ago remember hearing of him. And seeing him. He’s seen occasionally, docking the Albatross, and doing something piratey. Usually he helps people. (I just thought of this I don’t have specific details), usually he messes with the Navy and Raft (because they don’t die either apparently, so he’s made it his mission to screw them over as much as possible)

At this point where the AU really would kick off it’s been decades maybe even a whole century or more since the events of Riptide. There’s a Ferin descendant, and she’s heard stories of her ancestor Jay Ferin, who was apart of the original Riptide Pirates crew, back when there was a crew, and how she sailed with the Legendary Riptide Pirate. She’s her hero. Her family is trying to rope her into Raft, to send her off like to Navy school or whatever. She wants none of that but they aren’t really giving her a choice. So she’s there, probably in All-Port, and she’s trying to come up with a way to get out. She knows her ancestor used to be a Riptide Pirate, and she knows THE Riptide Pirate is still drifting around. So she has an idea. She wants to be a Riptide Pirate. She begins to plan her escape.

Meanwhile, the Undersea had a new Chosen One. She’s meant to do what the previous Champion didn’t do. She’s completely just for ceremonial purposes, and she isn’t actually THE chosen one, there was only one, but the Undersea pretends to have another one because they don’t know what else to do- the Elders keep this fact secret. She hates it, but she’s known nothing else. The Undersea decides to show her off, diplomatic stuff (what exactly, I’m not entirely sure atm). She’s in All-Port and above on land for the first time ever. It’s incredible. And for the first time ever, she sees a way out. 

The day the Champion is in All-Port coincides with the day the Ferin decides to make her break for it, there’s supposed to be a lot of commotion with the Chosen One and Undersea Elders which should help them get away and give them some time. The Ferin gets out and begins to weave her way through the city, heading for the docks. The Champion had got out too, but she hadn’t really thought that far ahead and doesn’t know where to go or what to do. She’s just wandering around late at night by herself, clearly lost and a little scared- because she can’t get caught she doesn’t want to go back. The Champion runs into the Ferin who instantly recognizes them as the Chosen One and is confused and panics a little because what is the chosen one doing here? The chosen one is supposed to be on the other side of the city and being the chosen one and distracting everyone not here. They both realize they’re trying to leave, and after a quick conversation the two of them run off together, because the Riptide Pirate had known the first Chosen One, they had been friends and co-captains. He could help her, help them both get away. He would understand. So they leave.

The Ferin has a small ship that she’d be able to handle herself, or maybe she steals it idk. They go off together. Eventually they dock at one port (I’m thinking Zero- they know from asking around that he frequents Zero) and then they wait. And once they know he’s there and docked, they sneak onto his ship.

Chip is very surprised to find the Champion of the Undersea and a Ferin together on the Albatross once again.

(That’s as far as i thought but I think it’s pretty cool- I may or may not work on this some more)

[usmsgutterson]

Okay, five hours ago I was like "tim gutterson timeline where?? me make one" and now. we have this. a timeline is in the post but it's rough, and this is more of a post that has a lot of information and headcanons in a rambled out format because whenever something gets stuck in my head, I write how I talk and I don't feel like editing this to make it shorter, so. yeah.

OKAY SO!! Going off of the assumption that's part canon and part headcanon that Tim would've joined the military at least within the year he graduated, you can't just join the army ranger snipers on a whim. You usually start in a differing unit (typically something like infantry, as far as what google said) and then you join the rangers and then you have to either volunteer or be recommended for sniper school, and it is a whole fuckin process that I have so much in my little head about. this is 20 gallons of information in a 10 gallon head and I feel like I'm going to explode.

OKAY, SO!! I have this little thing in my brain that's telling me Tim would've worked for at least three or four years in infantry before completing the ranger assessment and selection program, then he'd spend at least another three or four years working in the rangers before getting himself into the army ranger sniper school in one way or the next. As for length of schooling I've seen anywhere from 4-8 weeks.

for deployments I've seen varying lengths, but commonly I've seen around 3-6 months with the max being twelve. Leave is also pretty short for army ranger snipers (2-4 weeks) for I'm assuming mental reasons--they're trained to keep sharp all the time and short amounts of time for leave before they're back in combat keep their minds as sharp as possible.

Doing the math on that so far, if Tim joined the military at 18-19 years old, he would've been working in infantry until he was 21-23, then went from infantry to working in the rangers and worked with them until he was 25-27 before going through the sniper training and becoming a sniper around the same age as he was when he would've been recommended for sniper school.

Say he leaves the military entirely after his three total tours as a sniper, he would've been discharged when he was around 26-29 and in the military for around a decade. My math might be wrong (I have a brain that likes to go weeeeeee every time something kicks my interest up so. often times my head moves faster than my fingers can type and math has never really been my strongest suit) but even then, even if it's wrong, I feel like the latest he would've left the military would've been around 30 years old.

Okay, so to put years and dates and shit to this timeline, here we have the roughened out timeline of Tim Gutterson:

1980: we'll say around 1980 for a birth year bc Jacob Pitts was born in late 1979 so 1980 isn't that far off. I feel in my chest that Tim was born somewhere between September and December because I know people born in between September and December (with the only exception being october, I do not know anyone with an october birthdate) and the ones born in September, particularly, are the same breed of sarcastic Tim turns into after he leaves the military, a.k.a the one we see in the show.

1998: tim graduates high school yay!! He takes the ASVAB and goes about the whole of the military recruitment process, joins infantry to start.

2002: okay so going with the four year thing, Tim would work in infantry until around 2002-ish, at which point he takes the RASP and joins the rangers.

2006: after working in the rangers for four years, he gets recommended to join the snipers yay!! yay for timothy!! he's around 26 at this point and after sniper school he joins the 75th ranger regiment.

also 2006: let's say his first deployment occurs in the same year as when he becomes a sniper. It lasts six months and he gets about a months worth of leave in the aftermath. for ease of purpose and also ease of math, let's say that this deployment begins in June of 2006, ends in December, and the leave takes him from december to january.

2007: he gets deployed again in late january, and the deployment lasts until around the middle to late middle of July. It's his second and final deployment to Afghanistan, and after two weeks of leave, he's deployed again in August.

2008: after being on deployment through his 27th birthday, he comes home in february of 2008.

The timeline for military stuff ends right there if you're following the loose canon that exists (I say loose because the wikipedia states that Art only indicated a t l e a s t three tours total as an army ranger sniper. At least is not an exact number but instead the absolute minimum number of tours he did as a sniper.) but for me?? personally, I don't. I feel like he'd have at least another tour or two under his belt because he seems the stubbornly dedicated type and he knows that leaving means going back home when there's not really a home to go back to I feel like he'd prolong it at least a little bit.

If you follow the shows canon, Tim kind of just fucks around a little bit until he goes to Glynco when he's around 33-34 years old. It's said in the show in the first season that Tim is the office newbie who's been there less than a year when Raylan comes in, but I subscribe to the headcanon that Tim would've worked for six or so months, if not a full year, in an office down in georgia before he was transfered to Kentucky.

OKAY, TIMELINE ASIDE, tim would've seen a lot of shit in the like, decade or so he worked in the military. I've been reading on reddit a little bit and the bond we see in season four during Tims scenes with Mark makes a lot of sense--it was a common theme in what I did read that the army ranger snipers had a lot of cameraderie with each other and from what the reading I did told me, a lot of them went on to miss it after they left.

I need to stop rambling now so I can focus on the fic i'm trying to write but like,, if anyone wants to blab at me about this, blabbing is encouraged because tim gutterson is not leaving my head until I go to sleep, and I'm not going to go to sleep for at least a little while yet.

[wavesmp3]

sliver of time | 1k | post apocalyptic, minor character death | soonyoung x reader, side seungcheol x reader

for a sliver of time, you had the disillusioned assumption that love would always be the answer. that it would be there, in every corner and in every second of every day, haunting your life, creeping up in dark corners, possessing you on a sleepless night. and it does that–or, at least, it had–for many, many years that have all since slipped away into something akin to a dream. at 9 years old, you had your first crush, mingyu. brown hair, brown eyes, big arms, small head. at 17, you fall in love, seungcheol, a senior, butterflies, insecurities. and at 19, a decade later, you lay up at night, on your side, asking yourself what was real, if anything, screaming for something to hold, crying for something to matter, and begging for love to reappear like an old friend, hand in hand, a center, sturdy, yours.

but when, at 20, the world turns belly side up, lips parted to swallow you and everything you’ve ever called yours whole, love doesn’t extend its hand out to you, nor does it hold you near and dear. instead, it retreats to a dark corner of your mind and whispers, fuck you.

so, maybe love isn’t always the way. the world goes up in flames and you decide to take what you used to know of it and bend it to fit what is.

you’re 22 now. you meet soonyoung. you think you see love, tousled between his locks of hair, wedged into his backpack filled with shit you would have thrown out a year ago–receipts, cards, pictures. a tear falls from your eye. he asks if you’re okay. you blink and the love you thought you saw withers away. there’s blood on his chin. a gun in his hand.

“do you ever feel like you can see shit that doesn’t exist?”

he doesn’t flinch at your question; he laughs. “yeah, like, every time i look in the mirror.”

you can’t tell if he means that he shouldn’t exist or that he doesn’t want to. you don’t find out. instead, he asks where you’re going. “west.”

“what’s west?”

“the sea.”

he laughs again. in the back of your mind, you think that he laughs too much. say what you fucking think, you want to scream. “what?”

he shrugs. “i expected something different.”

“like what?”

“like safety.”

you don’t say anything. safety was the second thing to retreat when the world changed. the fifth thing you bent out of shape to fit the world as it is. the ‘y’ turned upside down, the ‘s’ and ‘t’ pushed away, the rest rearranged and twisted. safety became fear, which fit better at the time. it kept you awake, alive. fear you decided to save; safety you threw away forever by day three.

you cock your gun. “what about you?”

he pulls one of those washed up pictures from his back pocket. “looking for a friend.” you peer over at it, piecing together a face from the faded spots and red splotches. and it hits you all at once, painless but still like a goddamn fucking train. butterflies and insecurities. butterflies and insecurities. a memory resurfaces–a fast press of lips, a smile, the slam of a door shut in your face, a scream, yours or his–you’re still not sure, but what does it fucking matter compared to the flood of blood that runs in through the gap undearneath, pools at your feet, and bleeds all the way through your sneakers. no, you can’t bend this memory out of the world no matter how fiercely you’ve tried to. there’s no rearrangement of anything that can make you forget the feeling of washing his blood off your feet.

you bore into a picture of your first love and fight the urge to vomit.

soonyoung sounds like a kid, hopeful and stupid, when he asks, “do you know him?”

you swore an oath to honesty in third grade. you meant it. you didn’t lie to your parents. you never lied to your friends. even now, post the world of before and right in the middle of the one you’ve made fit, when it would have been the kinder thing to do, you don’t lie to yourself. so you’re not really sure why you look up at the boy, and shake your head. “never seen him.”

he cocks his head to the side. “really?” and there’s something in the way he says it, the lilt in his voice or the twitch of his hand, that makes you think he knows more than he’s letting on. he hands you a letter, sealed. you stare at seungcheol’s handwriting on the face of it, straight and short, your name spelled out, the first time you’ve seen it written in years. “cause he told me to give you this.” the words escape you, running past your throat, wedging themselves into the lining of your stomach. the paper suddenly turns flimsy in your hands, slick with some substance. soonyoung pulls it away from under your eyes. he puts his hands on your shoulders, looks you straight in the eyes and says, “he didn’t die that day.” you ignore the words, snatching the letter back and unfolding the flaps of paper. and there, like some kind of impractical joke, seungcheol has written: maybe love isn’t always the way, but i’d still take your lips any day. soonyoung’s voice breaks. “he died yesterday.”

you look up again at him. there it is. you know it so well. love was there. it existed. but it’s since packed up it’s shit and left. love does that. disappears in the middle of it. you cup soonyoung’s cheek in your hand, inching just barely towards him. you nod at the blood on his chin. “is that his?” he doesn’t respond, but he does nod. so you block the tears streaming down his face and press your lips against the stain.

[forgetriestowrite]

hi was scrolling through tumblr and was suddenly reminded of how brutal cotg was for me to read because I started reading these books literally a decade ago and like there I was, 19-year-old me, sitting in my college dorm room, reading this after-all-the-bullshit-there's-more-bullshit book and it was wonderful and amazing but then

they are the same age I was a year ago in that book. They have saved the world twice. Percy's mom is pregnant with his baby sister because she got a good relationship for once and she's writing a novel. Annabeth is learning how to bake. She has scars from holding up the sky and then crawling through Rome on a broken leg and then crawling through Tartarus immediately after that. Grover is being the awkward boyfriend we all know he is. He is one of the most important people in the natural world. Percy is trying to get into college so he can have a future. He has a panic attack at the bottom of a river and the only coherent thing he thinks during the whole thing is "wow this reminds me of being a kid", which is so fucking sad. And at the end, he fights literal old age and defeats it by accepting this geriatric, angry god, by saying he wants that, and that just hit me in the face with a ton of bricks because I really, actually thought for the first time, what if they get to grow up?

Like yeah, I've thought about it, in the like "wouldn't it be great" kind of detached thing you get when you're actively watching a story unfold. Like, yes, there's an ending to this story. It's vague and I'm not thinking about it because of the action that's happening right now, but there's definitely An Ending.

But reading cotg, specifically those last few chapters, cemented that ending for me, and made me realize how rewarding it would be to have it. These characters have been fighting on the edge of a sword for their entire teenage lives. They were dragged back in for this trilogy, and they're older, and what if they get to move on? Grover can continue his work without having to worry about side quests. Percy and Annabeth really can get old on a porch. They can have kids. For the first time they're thinking of the future---and not like next birthdays or "if we survive then we'll..." They're actually considering long-term. Thinking of the next thirty years.

I love this trio. They're my childhood. I grew up with them. I love reading their story. But gods, I hope that someday soon they can sit down and never have to get up and fight again.

[diazheartsbuckley]

High school sweethearts?

Hi Ashley! Long time no see, so glad that you’re back 💗

I made a moodboard and an introduction to the story here but I’m posting a snippet as well 👀

Buck’s eyes scanned the crowd, searching for a familiar face or rather - one particular familiar face - at his high school reunion. Life hadn’t been so easy for him back then but now when he had become a public figure, people that he had never spoken to, took a sudden interest in him. But there was only one face that he truly longed to see.

And that’s when he saw him. Eddie Diaz, the man that he had loved since he was 16. And hadn’t seen since he was 19. That was over a decade ago now.

The brown eyed man bore clear signs of aging, small lines starting to form around the corners of his eyes. Yet he hadn’t seem to have changed at all - a big, bright smile plastered on his face as he greeted old classmates and friends.

Buck discreetly slipped his fingers under his shirt, fingers seeking the silver chain that held the promise ring that Eddie gave him back in high school. It rested against his skin, concealed from view but stayed a constant reminder of the chapter of his life that had meant everything. Eddie had been his whole world for years.

Hesitant yet excited, he approached Eddie on unsteady feet and as soon as Eddie’s eyes turned to him, a wave of nostalgia washed over him, setting back time instantly.

“Eddie, is that really you?” He chuckled like he could ever forget the face of a man that he had loved for almost half of his life. Eddie turned to face him and somehow the world seemed to stop spinning, memories of shared laughter and secret glances clear as the summer sky.

“Buck?” Eddie’s voice held a hint of disbelief. The stark blue eyed man in front of him had aged amazingly, standing like the masterpiece that he was in front of him.

It took another moment for the two of them to share an embrace and a laugh of nervousness escaped Buck’s mouth.

“Wow you look-…”

“Older? Taller? More rugged?” Buck joked, unable to take the situation seriously. As much as he had longed to see Eddie again, it stung. Years had passed, years that Eddie promised that they would spend together and then never did.

“I was going to say good but sure, yeah, that too” Eddie returned the laugh, still able to read Buck’s voice and body language like an open book.

A bit painstakingly awkward, the two of them started to catch up and for a moment, everything seemed to be exactly like it was back then.

The love was never lost, it just wasn’t their time.

Until Eddie raised his hand to comb through his hair - something he did when he was feeling out of place - that Buck saw the wedding ring on Eddie’s finger.

“Married, huh?” He questioned, a bittersweet smile playing on his lips.

Eddie's expression shifted, a mix of emotions crossing his face. "Yeah, I met someone after college. Her name's Shannon, and we have a son called Christopher”

Buck nodded, trying to mask the disappointment that he felt. “That’s great, Eddie. I’m happy for you. Glad to see that you’re doing well” Buck’s words were laced with something that resembled a mix of sarcasm and sadness.

Just as the conversation settled into a slightly awkward silence, a woman approached, wrapping her arm around Eddie's waist. "Eddie, who's this?" she asked, glancing at Buck with a careful smile.

Eddie introduced them, "Shannon, this is Evan. He’s an old friend”

They were never just friends.

Ask me about my wips 💗

Using this as my Tease Tidbit Tuesday cause ya girl is a mess because of exams 😐

Tagged by @daffi-990 @jamespearce9-1-1 @athenagranted mwah mwah mwah 💋

Tagging!! @watchyourbuck @jeeyuns @jesuisici33 @giddyupbuck @fionaswhvre @thewolvesof1998 @theotherbuckley @callmenewbie @cal-daisies-and-briars @honestlydarkprincess @butraura @spotsandsocks @hippolotamus @disasterbuckdiaz 💗 🦋

[im-just-a-ghost5]

I AM HAVING FEELINGS ABOUT DAN AND PHIL AND I NEED TO EXPRESS THEM TO SOMEONE OR ELSE I WILL GO INSANE SO TUMBLR IT IS.

(TL,DR: @danielhowell and @amazingphil have grown so much as people and they're so happy and I'm EMOTIONAL about it)

I have been watching Dan and Phil for YEARS, well over a decade at this point. I'm now 19, so you can imagine how attached I am to these silly little men. Everything I have been through, they have been a screen away. Bullied? Dan and Phil. Major traumatic events? Dan and Phil. Struggling with my identity and subsequently coming out? Dan and Phil. Being open and honest about my mental health issues? Dan and Phil. Possibly autistic and trying to find courage to get tested? DAN AND PHIL.

I have quite literally grown up with these men, I saw them through pinofs, channels, radio shows, tours, apartments, books, DVDs, merch, mental health campaigns, comedy shows and coming out- and let me just say, I have NEVER seen them so HAPPY. Sure, there were some very good times and I will always love them but now it's a WHOLE different vibe. They are so happy and comfortable and free, and it's just so amazing- they're laughing, smiling and you can just SEE this light around them.

Over the years, I have watched these two lonely and awkward guys on the internet find each other and be friends and create this whole world. They have created so many wonderful things, both together and separately, and I just couldn't be more proud. And it gives me so much HOPE. Like, I'm not exactly the coolest person and like only one person outside of my family talks to me on a semi-regular basis, but these two guys are dorky and sweet and they FOUND each other despite the odds and have a HOME together.

No matter what their relationship is like, whether it be platonic or romantic or WHATEVER, they are soulmates. And I wholeheartedly believe that they are the prime example of "life gets better".

The newest baking video literally made me cry. Like, years ago, Dan would panic at the thought of putting on make-up and being openly queer, let alone dressing up as a sexy nun. And Phil would've never even THOUGHT about dropping an F-Bomb or feeling confident in his appearance, whilst making the gayest jokes possible. And that video alone just PROVES how happy they are now. They're being silly and flirty and being more physical with each other because they feel like they CAN now. In their own home and their kitchen (that they designed THEMSELVES), dressed up for Halloween and allowing themselves to be who they really are without giving a shit. And it's beautiful.

Dan and Phil have grown so much and you can tell how happy it makes them. And that gives me hope for my own future. And I don't know where I'd be without them. <33333

[reeseaisance]

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: LIBERICA ┊K.NANAMI X BLACK!FEM!READER

࿐ A rare and exotic type of coffee bean, with a woody and smoky flavour and a floral aroma.

The air was crisp. A subtle sign that Spring was near and every living thing was slowly coming back to life. Yet the sky was painted a deep blue as the streets were filled with a bustle of life, from the pattering of feet against the concrete ground to the chatter of many filling the breeze. Yet here he sat at the corner booth, sipping on his regular order from the popular jazz club, Sensuous, a club that’s been open for many years thriving from its regulars and the artists that wander along the streets of the city. The longer he sat, waiting, the stupider the man felt about the whole ordeal. Was he the only one who took the deal seriously? Was he stupid enough to have believed she would remember a deal that was made over 20 years ago? Maybe he was being optimistic about the whole thing, which was out of character for him especially, considering the man was as stoic as a brick wall, but a piece of him had hope that she wouldn’t have forgotten him. Forgotten them. Taking another sip at the hot liquid that filled his mug, a young man with long, raven-like hair pulled up into a messy bun appeared on stage, “Again, welcome to Sensuous if this is your first time gracing the club and welcome back to the regulars who we love so much. As we all know, tonight is open mic night, but if you’ve been a recurring guest for the last couple of years, you may all know this voice. It’s been a while since we’ve seen this beauty around these parts…” the man paused, glancing at the woman with pure admiration, “Please give her a warm welcome back, Dove.”

The moment that voice rang through the walls, Nanami could feel his heartbeat intensify by the minute. His eyes shot up to be blessed with the sight of her. The woman who has danced through his mind without a care in the world for 2 decades. Her voice, smooth like honey but a smokeness that had men and women drawn by her allure. She knew how to use her instrument in such a way that can convince anyone to do as she pleased within a blink of an eye. Her thick locs styled up into a bun, a few framing her face, before moving down to the olive green silk dress that hugged at her curves without issue, complimenting her coffee hued skin. She was gorgeous, just as gorgeous as she was when they were 19. Oh how time can bless a woman, a phenomenon Nanami only ever thought could be a lie when he was younger, but here she was again proving him wrong, like always. The way she sang into the mic, her airy notes having everyone enthralled in her presence like she used to but her power was much greater, indeed it was. With age to her instrument, it carried a richer sound, more seasoned. Maybe experience? Nanami couldn’t express what he felt due to him being too deep regarding her ability.

“Y'all are being so kind to me, I appreciate the love.” You cooed into the mic, taking in the crowd as the snaps filled the air, “But I’m going to need a little assistance for my next song…” You spoke, your eyes still fishing through the crowd. Nanami could only hold his breath as your eyes stopped at him, his heart rapidly beating against his chest as that smile graced your plump lips and that devious little twinkle you got in your eye, “ Do we have a trumpet player in the building this evening?” As if she really expected him to have his instrument with him on hand. Letting out a light chuckle, foreseeing this possibly happening, he dug underneath his booth, pulling out his case, opening it up to reveal the brass instrument before he made his way towards the stage. The closer he got, the more he felt he was walking towards the sun. Her energy alone was so bright and radiating, the moment he was in front of her, a red blush tinted his cheek, “Isn’t this perfect, everyone welcome this kind gentleman, yeah?” She smirked, glancing up at Nanami as the crowd snapped some more.

Giving him some time to set up and sipping at the water that waited beside her on the stool, she glanced back at him, sending him a wink before his lips on the mouthpiece, his fingers following suit pressing at the valves of the song they composed and wrote together from their teens. The crowd becomes immersed by the unknown tone in seconds of hearing it. As the song continued and it started to become more intense, that’s when Nanami really started to show off and Y/N just had to match it. Her notes hitting just the same as his, it was as if they were poetically having a conversation. So sensual and sweet just for it to become fiery as if they were fighting. It was beautiful yet terrifying because everyone could just see the energy the two had with one another. Considering the fact that she just happened to pick this random man, but if only they knew the history, then they could understand the underlying passion that rests between the two.

Their performance lasted 8 minutes. Those 8 minutes told the story of their journey with one another but to the crowd, it was one of the greatest performances they ever witnessed. Forgetting the snaps and being flooded with the sounds of claps and whistles, Nanami packed away his trumpet with a slight smile as Y/N waltzed her way over to the bar, Nanami following her lead soon after, “A French 75.” you ordered, gracing the bartender with a kind smile, “A Stinger for me…” A voice from behind ordered, as well as the $35 being slid against the counter. “This is covering her drink as well.” He added before he slid by her side with ease.

“It’s nice seeing you, Nanami.” You smiled as you stared over at the blond, a warmth taking over your body instantly as he stared down at you with those hazel eyes. Oh how you missed those eyes, “ I can say the same, Y/N. It’s been so long.” Nanami quipped, earning an eye roll from you, which only led to a shared laugh between the two of you as you both savored this moment. The bartender made his presence known with both drinks. Thanking him, the two shared a sip as the silence wrapped them up like a blanket. There was so much to say but at the same time, nothing at all. It was as if all the things they thought about, thought they would say, got lost in translation through the music.

“How about we move this somewhere else?” he suggested, which only made you take another sip of your drink before your eyes landed back on his, “Where did you have in mind?”

•••

The moonlight peaked through the curtains of the highrise apartment as the glow kissed at your brown skin beautifully, adding to the glow that coated your body.

“Nami…” You moaned as your hands gripped his shoulder blades, your thick thighs trapping him at the waist as he fed you deep thrust, “Yes, Dove?” he asked breathlessly as he took a moment to admire your current state, locs sprawled against the silk pillows, breast plump and nipples hardened from the cool air, your skin glowing thanks to the sheer layer of sweat. You were gorgeous. Which only led him to him rutting his hips into you. The way your walls clenched around him with ease had the man ready to tap out, but he just couldn’t.

“You’re doing so well for me, Dove.” Nanami praised as he raised from your neck, taking in the precious state you were in right now. Just angelic. Locs sprawled against the silk sheets, breast plump and nippled hardend from the cool air, your skin glowing thanks to the sheer layer of sweat. A sight he didn’t want to forget. Just as he admired you, you did just the same taking in the man in front of you. They usually combed over blond strands in a wild mess that fit him just as well. His tan skin decorated with your brown lip liner and his toned physique that always made you melt. Resting against your elbows, you reached a hand up to his cheek, pulling him down to press a kiss to his soft lips. Taking in his taste, getting access to entangle your tongue with his that only evoked a moan out of him as you switched positions, straddling his lap in an instant as you rocked your hips against him. Skin to skin, tangled in the sheets, this was what you craved, what you needed for all this time. “I missed you so much, Nami.” You whispered against his lips as your almond shaped nails dragged along his chest, “I know, Dove. It’s been so long.” The man sighed as he watched you carefully, your hands going between your thighs as you gripped at his hardened 8 inches, jerking it slightly that caused a hiss to leave his lips.

“You know I didn’t want it this way, right?” You asked him, running his tip along your slick folds as you stared down at him, which only made him thrust into your hand, “Y/N…” He started as you began to sink down onto him, “Nami I promise I didn’t want it to be like this.” You spoke, a moan releasing from you once you sank down onto him fully, A silence filling the room as his hands found your waist, making circles against the meat with his thumbs, “Dove, please.” He groaned as he began to move your hips against his pelvis, his thrust reaching the depths of you as you planted your palms against his chest, “I know but Nami..” you started again only to be hushed with his lips encapsulating yours, such a simple kiss, but a devastating one at the same token. As his hips began to stutter and your lips began to depart, you didn’t even realize the tear that rolled from your eye before he wiped it away with his thumb, “I know you’re sorry, Dove. But what are we supposed to do now?” He questioned as his movements stopped, only pulling you close to him as you wrapped your arms around his neck, the stream flowing from you instantly as he simply rubbed at your back, comforting you as best he could.

It took some hours for you to come down from your moment of vulnerability. From taking you to the warm bath and massaging your sore muscle to retrieving you some tea and finally cuddling in the silk sheets is when you calmed down. Having to come down from such an intimate moment to make a sad one broke Nanami, but he expected it to happen. Considering the circumstances. But here he sat now, in the empty bed at 8 am on the dot, left with only the memory of the night shared between the two of you, wondering how that could have been forever. That could have been your shared reality. If only you didn’t marry him.

࿐ luv letter from reese — this is my first post and i truly hope you enjoyed it because i enjoyed writing this piece!! a little longer then expected for my first piece but i’m still proud of it! please don’t be afraid to give feedback and i hope you love it!!!

[crimetimesteadicam]

ok @morporkian-cryptid tagged me to do this fic author interview so here we go...

if you would like to do this, i am officially tagging you, yes you, right now. tag me back so i can see your answers

1 How many works do you have on AO3?

i got 40

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,044,749

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

sorry like none of these are lupin iii. a blight on my lupin iii blog

Wabisabi (991 kudos) - Spirited Away. idk it's short and cute, read it

BONES OF BLACK MARROW (952 kudos) - Homestuck. the infamous cyoa cannibalism sex fic. scrolling through the things people say about it in the bookmarks is always so funny

Cum mortuis in lingua mortua (925 kudos) - Homestuck. no clue why it has so many kudos lol it was like the first long thing i've ever wrote (a whole decade ago??? jesus). it's a d&d/discworld joke

Vanitas vanitatum (914 kudos) - Homestuck. the same d&d/discworld joke except the LI is turbo depressed. notable for being the only fic i ever outlined and edited and that's why it whips

Supermassive Retinol Overdose! (677 kudos) - hey look, a lupin fic made it on here!

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i do when i have something meaningful to say besides "thank you!" i don't have a lot of thoughts about my own work so therefore i tend to not respond if there's not a direct question :( my head is empty. i always respond to every single comment on the last chapter of longfics though because i'm always impressed people read that far lol. genuinely, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for reading all that

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

idk uhhhh i wrote a series once where two of the main couples break up at the end, but it wasn't really angsty

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

they all end pretty happily

7. Do you write crossovers?

if i did it was so long ago i don't remember it

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

no but people used to send passive aggressive hate about my art in fics once in a while. hasn't happened in like 2+ years

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yes. every kind. EVERY KIND

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

a bot will sometimes scrape my high kudos homestuck fics and plant them on a junk ebook site

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yeah i think like 7 of them got translated into russian and do numbers on ficbook.net

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

in the past me and my friend would sit around a laptop and scream laugh write our way through crack fics

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

right now it's jiglup and fujilup

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

i finish almost all my WIPs because i'm a freak. if i don't finish a WIP it's because some dramatic life event happened. this has only occurred two times

15. What are your writing strengths?

im a funny binch

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

i don't outline or edit or re-read any of my fanfic. i just type it and then eyeball it for typos and then post it. i COULD outline and such to really make the narrative nice and tight, but i don't find it very fun to do (for fanfic) and this is like, my relaxing wind down hobby. i just wanna have fun haha. the only reason my fics like, make sense, is because i write at least one ending scene first thing and always aim for that, and also i write out of order so i kinda know the route of the story

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

it's fine if it makes sense to do it there as a narrative device

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

h-hetalia crack fic.....

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

once i figure out how to draw zenigata it's over for you bitches. luzeni hours on da clock

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

for lupin iii fic, i like Lightkeepers the best

[coochiequeens]

While opposition to men in women’s prisons should focus on the safety of incarcerated women don't forget the impact dealing with these perverts have on female guards.

By CAROLINE DOWNEY May 28, 2024 6:30 AM

Female prison guards in California have been traumatized after being forced to perform naked strip searches on male felons under the state department of corrections’ gender-inclusion rules.

For decades, the department prohibited female officers from conducting unclothed strip searches on male inmates except in emergency circumstances, such as when a same-sex officer is not available or if the male inmate is at risk of harming themselves or others.

Now, “Incarcerated individuals who are transgender, non-binary, or intersex must be searched according to the gender designation of the institution where they are housed or based on the individual’s search preference,” according to official prison policy obtained by National Review.

This sudden shift in policy, officially implemented in 2021, has shaken female staff at the California Institution for Men, colloquially known as Chino. Some male inmates who identify as women, or have even undergone transition surgeries and hormone therapy, choose to stay at Chino rather than request a housing transfer to a women’s facility, such as the California Institution for Women.

While there, trans-identifying male inmates are entitled to request that they only be searched by female guards. The female guards are required to perform the searches or face penalties or termination, former and current female Chino officers told National Review.

Recently retired after 22 years as a corrections officer at Chino, Paula James experienced firsthand how the decision to accommodate trans-identifying inmates has made the state prison a scary and unfair place to work.

“As a corrections officer myself, I wasn’t supposed to be stripping male inmates down,” James told National Review. “You’re not supposed to unless it’s an emergency situation. You can get in trouble, it’s considered rape. . . . I’ve been taught that my whole career. Then all of a sudden, now some of these men are saying they are women, but they still have all the parts.”

Two years ago, at the facility, James was told she had to strip-search a trans-identifying male inmate on suicide watch who was checking in to the mental-health department for a 72-hour hold. There was no other female officer around that day to do it, she said.

“I told myself, ‘I’m getting ready to retire, I don’t want to have to do this,’” she said. “But that day I felt pressured into doing it. My sergeant told me I had to do it.”

Another female officer came into the bathroom to cover her as she frisked the inmate.

“The whole time, this inmate is making me feel like I’m doing something wrong,” James said.

Acting embarrassed, he covered his chest area and male genitals. James had to ask him to move his hand to make sure he wasn’t concealing a weapon or drugs to self-harm. The inmate requested on paper that a female rather than male officer check him.

“I didn’t feel comfortable about it, but I had to do my job,” she said.

James started to cry on the phone as she recounted the day. With a background in nursing, James said she didn’t expect to be so shaken from the incident. It felt degrading for both her and the inmate, she said.

“I didn’t realize how disgusted I felt after that until I walked out,” she said. James said she broke down in front of her friend as she explained what had happened.

“It was just not right,” she said. “Because I had been taught all that time that I wasn’t supposed to do that. It was really hard on me, even thinking about it today.”

While they’re now required to search male inmates, not so long ago, female officers could be punished for searching inmates of the opposite sex, even if they felt the search was justified due to an emergency situation.

A corrections officer of 19 years, who chose to remain anonymous out of fear of professional retribution, was transferred to Chino from a maximum-security facility in 2017, before the current gender-inclusion policy was implemented. Soon after arriving at the prison, the guard was disciplined for searching a male inmate who a colleague believed was hiding potentially dangerous contraband.

The search was conducted after a fellow female officer asked the guard for assistance because she witnessed what she believed was an exchange of contraband between two inmates who were prohibited from interacting.

“Just as I’m approaching him, the toilet flushes, which is a sign that he probably got rid of the contraband,” the guard said. “So, I conducted a clothed body search on him, and she was right there next to me. I ended up doing an unclothed body search, which our policy states that a female can under emergency circumstances.”

The guard said she deemed it an emergency because her friend was sure she saw a weapon or drugs in the man’s possession.

“I was completely professional about it and that was it,” she said.

Months later, she received the highest possible level of disciplinary action from her superiors. She appealed the decision on the grounds that the policy is ambiguous about what circumstances qualify as an “emergency.” She lost the case. An official in Chino’s employment office told her confidentially that the department wanted to fire her over the incident.

“Back in 2017, it was two male inmates, but now here we are seven years later, and they want me, if I’m given a direct order, I must strip out that trans inmate,” she said. “What’s the difference from when I stripped out that male inmate to now? It’s still a man.”

Prison officers are told in training that they could be fired for refusing to do a search on the opposite sex because “it’s refusing a direct order from your sergeant,” said James, the recently retired corrections officer.

While some younger female officers are more willing to comply with the new gender-inclusion policy because they’ve never experienced anything different, others expressed concern to James before she retired.

“I had younger officers coming to me saying, ‘Ms. James, what am I going to do?,” she recalled. “They want us to do this with these inmates now.’

Other female guards have reported to James that they think male inmates have requested to be searched by women “just to make the officer see them.”

Asked for comment, the California Department of Corrections reiterated that SB 132, The Transgender Respect, Agency and Dignity Act, allows incarcerated transgender, non-binary and intersex people to request to be housed and searched in a manner consistent with their gender identity.

“Ongoing training for staff and incarcerated people is paramount when handling the unique challenges facing this population,” the department said. “CDCR has developed and provided specialized training to staff to ensure they are aware of laws and departmental policies and to give them the knowledge and tools they need when interacting with the incarcerated transgender and non-binary communities.”

Paula confirmed that California, like Washington State, subsidizes transition procedures for male felons on taxpayer dime.

“We had a guy that was doing 60 years, he was a rapist,” James said. “He became a female, and he was going to go to the female facility, but they paroled him instead. I couldn’t believe it. . . . This guy got released to the streets.”

Once that inmate underwent the intervention, many other trans inmates started seeking out the procedures, she said.

“A lot of sexual predators, I hate to say it, are getting the surgery,” she said. “Even child molesters. It’s not good.”

One male inmate at Chino, after getting a phalloplasty, was brought back to the facility with durable medical equipment. One tool he was given was a dildo, to prevent the incision from closing, the anonymous female officer said.

“The state pays for them to have hair removal,” she added. “The state pays for them to have breast implants. The state pays for them to go to vocal classes.”

James, who worked in the medical area of Chino, often heard the crimes of the male patients.

One such patient was found guilty of consuming child pornography and sexually abusing his girlfriend’s daughter, she said. He too received the surgery from the state, she said.

“I was like, ‘Oh my gosh, why are they able to change to a female, then they can be, if they ever get out, they can prey on their victims even more?’” she said.

[zairasarthaven]

Back in my days on DA like 14 years ago, I created a science duo made up of Coco and Dib was my whole existence.

I had a whole crossover universe centered around them founding an earth defense team together. I miss that piece of myself and I hope to revive it again.

The Future Verse takes place about a decade after Invader Zim and The original Crash Bandicoot trilogy. Coco and Dib are both 22. They met on a site for Para-science and mechanical engineering when they were 19. The two started to talk and grew very close. Soon creating an organization tasked with monitoring and stopping interstellar and interdimensional threats to the earth.

As they both have experience with both.