#BUT STILL. AMOR AND APOLLO MEAN SO MUCH TO ME

[roboyomo]

just. places amor and apollo in your hands. take care of them

[unactive-shroom]

The last thing Leo Valdez expected was to see Y/n L/n in bunker nine.

Crouched beside a large metal frame, her oil stained hands made rapid movements as the machine shuddered and emitted a grey fog across the bunker. Although Leo guessed the contraption was about to combust, he couldn’t help but fix his gaze on the girl in front of him.

it had been almost a year since he had seen her last, her previously long, dyed hair was now tied back out of her face, the dye settled at the ends of her hair like dripping paint. Her natural black hair created the perfect silhouette for her face, emphasising her sea-green eyes and her ethereal seeming features. She seemed tired, but happier, as if a weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

“Y/n?” Leo stammered. “When did you get here?”

The girl looked up and smiled a cheeky grin back in response, before giving the machine one final thump with a mallet before it spurred to life, clanking and clunking, gradually clearing the grey smog from the room.

She stood up, wiping her slender hands on what appeared to be a pair of school trousers. It seemed as if she had just left school, which was impossible. Her school was miles and miles away, surely she wouldve had time to change. Besides, School finished up almost a month ago in America.

Before Leo could decide whether an “I missed you so so much ” or a “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming back early??” was a better thing to say, he was engulfed in her arms, her familiar ocean and oil smell frying his brain for a split second.

“Man, I’ve missed you, Leo. Sorry for rooting around in your bunker without asking you, I thought you’d already be in here and then I got a bit distracted I guess”

She explained how she arrived early after some empousai attacked her boarding school in Birmingham, causing the year to finish early. As for why she was in her uniform still, Apollo still owed her a favour from when he was turned mortal, so she asked him to bring her to camp half blood.

As they left bunker nine and headed to dinner hand in hand, she reached into her pocket and pulled out a thick square wrapped gift.

“didnt think I forgot your birthday, did you?” As she handed him the present he looked at her sceptically. “Did you for real get me a book for my birthday? I mean damn, I love you and all, but a book? seriously?”

Regardless, he carefully unwrapped the vibrant paper around the gift, revealing a red leather book with the title bearing “Esperanza Valdez”. Speechless, Leo shot you a careful glance before opening the book. Inside was a handwritten note.

“Cariño, you told me once that you would do anything to have a picture of your mother, beside the newspaper clippings from that night. You told me it was pointless though, because it was impossible. That your family would never even talk to you again, let alone give you anything of your mother. You have given me what I thought was impossible. Love, acceptance. A place to go. I think it’s time for me to return the favour. Mi vida, mi alma, mi sol. Te amare por siempre. Feliz cumpleaños, mi amor.” ^

Leo flicked through the pages in disbelief. The inside of the book was filled with scrapbooked pictures of his mother in her youth, all the way to pictures of her mother holding him with his grandparents, his mother playing legos with him, his mother and him going about their life, content. Before the accident. When he got to the last page he couldn’t hold it in anymore. He collapsed into her arms, sobbing a mixture of grief and gratitude, all while she stroked his hair and waited for him to calm down.

When he had done so, she asked if he wanted her to read him the final page, a crinkled handwritten note carefully glued into the final page

“Necesito ir a comprar algunas cosas a las tiendas, hijo. Si te despiertas antes de que regrese, no tengas miedo. Volveré tan pronto como pueda. llamar a nuestro vecino si algo sucede. ¡Te amo! -Mami”. ^^

It was heartbreaking how something so mundane can cause such Greif - A note from Leo’s mom for his child self not to worry as she went shopping in the early morning. Leo had never had anything like it, a note written by his mother, her *handwriting*, it felt so surreal. He remembered reading the note as a child, waiting patiently by the door for his mothers return. But now there was no door to wait by, no mother to walk through it. He looked up at y/n with tear filled eyes.

“How did you even get these? I know Aunt Rosa didn’t give them to you, no way.”

And so she explained how she sought out Clios, the Greek patron of history, and did many complicated and time consuming, and some straight up ridiculous quests in exchange for old photos of his mother. The handwritten note had been a “tip” for doing such a good job on the quests.

Leo was completely shocked. How - *why* would someone do all this for *him*? He thought to himself how he didn’t deserve such a wonderful partner such as y/n, such a kind and thoughtful human was surely wasting their time being with *him*.

Despite his thoughts & tears, the two of them made it to dinner, where Leo showed piper and Jason the pictures of his mom and him. It was too personal, too raw to share with anyone else yet. And after Leo’s 20th “thank you so so much I love you the most anyone has ever loved ever” they finally blew out the candles on the cake, and when anybody asked, Leo was sure to tell them that it was the best birthday he ever had.

a/n : I can never nicely finish up a one shot can I. Reader is implied daughter of Poseidon. Anyways, translation for the Spanish :

^ “my life, my soul, my sun. I love you forever. Happy birthday my love”

^^ “I need to go buy some things at the shops, son. If you wake up before I come back, don't be afraid. I'll be back as soon as I can. call our neighbor if something happens. I love you! - Mami”

Sorry if my Spanish is bad bro I suck at sm and won’t lie I used a lot of google translate for the second piece. Okay hope you enjoyed 🫶 happy birthday Leo

[gard3nias]

Amor tam pulcher | KTH - prologue

❃ | next page⇢

wc: 1.57k

date: 30/03/2024

mdi // masterlist // playlist

A dark base colour. Very dark. Black, I dare to say, but it presents shades of dark blue here and there. Scattered in a natural even manner were a few clouds and, at last, sitting in the centre, amidst a bed of shimmering white dots, was the moon, shining in all its might.

It was a fresh spring day night. The atmosphere was changing. The environment welcomed a highly awaited scent of blooming flowers from the gardens, the vases on the balconies and the trees outlining the streets. As the fresh breeze blew, it took away all the residues of the winter season: the cold, the dead leaves on the side of the road, all the ashes of the wood that had been burnt for the heating up and all the smoke it'd produced.

The night was very bright. The moonlight put to shame the few lampposts along the road. The rays were so strong they worked as a perfect night light for the townspeople. As the breeze blew, wind chimes rang throughout and their sound vibration penetrated the ears in the most pleasing of ways.

Just like in movies, this was background decoration, the setting in which the story starts from a wider point of view only to shrink and focus closer, on a tinier scale. Uninteresting background details that had little meaning to the lead characters―something to just occasionally comment on.

They had each other, confined in a cosy bedroom, in a comfortable environment. The bright moon and the stars went unnoticed as Daphne took an old book from her little personalized bookshelf.

The room was dim because she hated turning on the major light when she could see perfectly with her lamp. She had one on her desk and one on her nightstand. The lighting was golden, the room was warm and he was there, shirtless, with ruffled hair and just the trousers of his pyjamas but he was there and that was all that mattered to her.

She wore a matching sleep outfit, shorts and a tank top. Hurriedly walking back onto the carpet and off the freezing tiles of her room, she joined him. He was sitting at the end of her bed. Body leaning backwards on his arms with legs that only spread more to welcome her to sit which she did.

"You see this here?" she began losing the leather rope tied around the book, "It belonged to my granny but she gifted it to me last year as a Christmas present". He didn't immediately respond, at least not verbally. He wrapped his arms around her with ease and perked his chin on her shoulders welcoming her in a warm embrace. "It's a flowers book, she called it. It has pretty much every flower she has ever grown or collected in her life".

"I thought your grandma sells greens at the town square," his velvet voice came through from right next to her ear causing a wave of chills to run from head to toe. "Yes, she does but she also used to collect a lot of flowers. In fact, she loved them, loves them still, and she has them all around her place," his only reply was tightening the hug because no matter how close he could be to her, it was never close enough. "And guess what I found here?"

"What?"

"I'd insist you guessed but you wouldn't so..." she quickly muttered but he heard her and simply replied by tickling her. "So, I found... me,"

"You!"

"Yeah, me! The flower Daphne" from his point of view, he could see her cheek swell as she smiled causing him to smile right after, unconsciously. "You didn't know you bore the same name as a flower?"

"No, I mean yes but not this flower. I know that my name in Greek means 'Laurel', a plant from the mythological story of Daphne and Apollo. It's the sole reason you call me Lauri," she turned to face him. The distance is almost nonexistent. He went in first and left a peck on her lips that proceeded into multiple ones. Lips. Cheek. Neck. Shoulder blade.

"Do you like your namesake flower?"

"I've got to be honest with you and disagree. I mean, it's also an evergreen plant like the Laurel but it doesn't sound as special. Lori does though," now it was his turn to smile. From the exterior, it looked subtle but his insides were jumping and somersaulting. She probably could hear his heart thumping against her back for how much it was pressed against his chest. "But Daphne is just as beautiful".

She shrugged and denied that. "And, besides, it just reminds me of the sad fate of the nymph, you know. I completely get that Apollo wasn't in his right state of mind because of Cupid but it's still sad," he totally could agree with her, not the sad part but surely the mental part, yeah. That's how he felt whenever she was close. Whether she was right next to him, farther away in the same room or building, sharing the same air with him whenever they kissed, in his thoughts all the time or when he was inside of her, the only thing he could think about was how close he was to losing his mind for good. So good. Heavenly good. Marvellous. Perfect. That is what she is anyway.

"You know... Daphne was a beautiful nymph and the personification of the laurel which is, as you know, an evergreen plant. I don't think of her fate as sad. First, she wished it to herself," The look she gave him had him chuckling, "Second, an evergreen plant never dies. It lives in the foreverness of its beauty," just like you, he wanted to add but surely she could read that from his eyes.

His eyes glowed when they were on her. Stars start shimmering in the chocolate brown colour of his iris. It was hard to break eye contact because the view was breathtaking like fireworks on New Year's night. She couldn't help herself from catching red shades on her cheeks. She didn't mind it anymore. She'd just smile through it. He wasn't shy about his feelings so she wasn't going to be any different.

A little giggle came out of her as she broke eye contact and started fiddling with the corner of the book. He smiled, reading through her body language like it was his favourite novel.

Never could he have thought of reaching this point where he'd have her in his arms like this, in a moment like this, doing things like this. Back then, the only assurance he had was that she could make his heart flutter in ways itself didn't know about: her smile, her face whenever she was focused on reading or just her simple presence.

Oh, God. No way she's real.

Before they could get here, it seemed she didn't know of his existence and yet he felt like she was watching every one of his moves and he had to be perfect, absolutely perfect for her, just her. That's the only thing she deserved for being perfection incarnate.

From the day he set eyes on her, he'd decided that everything he'd do was going to be just for her. The efforts paid off anyway.

There's nothing more beautiful than knowing that the person you love, loves you just as much-he'd say even more but he doubts she could ever love him more than he loves her because he loved her so much, maybe too much, but it's all for a good cause.

Her smile whenever she came out to go to school or went back in from school. Perfect. The sound of her voice whenever she came up to him during lunch break―oh, and let's not talk about how adorable she was whenever she happily hopped up to him while at it. Perfect. Her face. Oh so perfect. He could stare at her face all day and never get tired, never get uninterested. It was like a TV series with an infinite amount of seasons that got better as they went on. A perfect TV series. He could fully focus with her around and certainly just on her and nothing else―he could barely hear what she'd be talking about because he'd be busy watching every single change in her facial expression and never get bored. Boredom went out of his life the day she came in.

If he could, he'd write poems on how pretty she looked, on how perfect she was. He'd probably make the next Catullus or even better, he'd dare say. Everyone would love to read about her and how she makes him feel. He even wonders how she isn't loved, worshipped in fact, by everyone but he's glad he's the only one whom she hops to whenever class is dismissed, the only one to have her cheeks explore all possible shades of red, the only one whose arms she'd willingly fall asleep in between.

The silence that sat with them was comfortable, to say the least. It felt like a bigger and warmer hug embracing them and encapsulating them in their world.

"Talking about evergreens, my faves are these," she turned the pages while maintaining the same height as his face so that when she looked back up, the eye contact was restored, "Gardenias,"

"Oh. So pretty. Beautiful".

next page⇢

[silverozy]

Amor tam pulcher | KTH - prologue

❃ | next page⇢

wc: 1.57k

date: 30/03/2024

mdi // masterlist // playlist

A dark base colour. Very dark. Black, I dare to say, but it presents shades of dark blue here and there. Scattered in a natural even manner were a few clouds and, at last, sitting in the centre, amidst a bed of shimmering white dots, was the moon, shining in all its might.

It was a fresh spring day night. The atmosphere was changing. The environment welcomed a highly awaited scent of blooming flowers from the gardens, the vases on the balconies and the trees outlining the streets. As the fresh breeze blew, it took away all the residues of the winter season: the cold, the dead leaves on the side of the road, all the ashes of the wood that had been burnt for the heating up and all the smoke it'd produced.

The night was very bright. The moonlight put to shame the few lampposts along the road. The rays were so strong they worked as a perfect night light for the townspeople. As the breeze blew, wind chimes rang throughout and their sound vibration penetrated the ears in the most pleasing of ways.

Just like in movies, this was background decoration, the setting in which the story starts from a wider point of view only to shrink and focus closer, on a tinier scale. Uninteresting background details that had little meaning to the lead characters―something to just occasionally comment on.

They had each other, confined in a cosy bedroom, in a comfortable environment. The bright moon and the stars went unnoticed as Daphne took an old book from her little personalized bookshelf.

The room was dim because she hated turning on the major light when she could see perfectly with her lamp. She had one on her desk and one on her nightstand. The lighting was golden, the room was warm and he was there, shirtless, with ruffled hair and just the trousers of his pyjamas but he was there and that was all that mattered to her.

She wore a matching sleep outfit, shorts and a tank top. Hurriedly walking back onto the carpet and off the freezing tiles of her room, she joined him. He was sitting at the end of her bed. Body leaning backwards on his arms with legs that only spread more to welcome her to sit which she did.

"You see this here?" she began losing the leather rope tied around the book, "It belonged to my granny but she gifted it to me last year as a Christmas present". He didn't immediately respond, at least not verbally. He wrapped his arms around her with ease and perked his chin on her shoulders welcoming her in a warm embrace. "It's a flowers book, she called it. It has pretty much every flower she has ever grown or collected in her life".

"I thought your grandma sells greens at the town square," his velvet voice came through from right next to her ear causing a wave of chills to run from head to toe. "Yes, she does but she also used to collect a lot of flowers. In fact, she loved them, loves them still, and she has them all around her place," his only reply was tightening the hug because no matter how close he could be to her, it was never close enough. "And guess what I found here?"

"What?"

"I'd insist you guessed but you wouldn't so..." she quickly muttered but he heard her and simply replied by tickling her. "So, I found... me,"

"You!"

"Yeah, me! The flower Daphne" from his point of view, he could see her cheek swell as she smiled causing him to smile right after, unconsciously. "You didn't know you bore the same name as a flower?"

"No, I mean yes but not this flower. I know that my name in Greek means 'Laurel', a plant from the mythological story of Daphne and Apollo. It's the sole reason you call me Lauri," she turned to face him. The distance is almost nonexistent. He went in first and left a peck on her lips that proceeded into multiple ones. Lips. Cheek. Neck. Shoulder blade.

"Do you like your namesake flower?"

"I've got to be honest with you and disagree. I mean, it's also an evergreen plant like the Laurel but it doesn't sound as special. Lori does though," now it was his turn to smile. From the exterior, it looked subtle but his insides were jumping and somersaulting. She probably could hear his heart thumping against her back for how much it was pressed against his chest. "But Daphne is just as beautiful".

She shrugged and denied that. "And, besides, it just reminds me of the sad fate of the nymph, you know. I completely get that Apollo wasn't in his right state of mind because of Cupid but it's still sad," he totally could agree with her, not the sad part but surely the mental part, yeah. That's how he felt whenever she was close. Whether she was right next to him, farther away in the same room or building, sharing the same air with him whenever they kissed, in his thoughts all the time or when he was inside of her, the only thing he could think about was how close he was to losing his mind for good. So good. Heavenly good. Marvellous. Perfect. That is what she is anyway.

"You know... Daphne was a beautiful nymph and the personification of the laurel which is, as you know, an evergreen plant. I don't think of her fate as sad. First, she wished it to herself," The look she gave him had him chuckling, "Second, an evergreen plant never dies. It lives in the foreverness of its beauty," just like you, he wanted to add but surely she could read that from his eyes.

His eyes glowed when they were on her. Stars start shimmering in the chocolate brown colour of his iris. It was hard to break eye contact because the view was breathtaking like fireworks on New Year's night. She couldn't help herself from catching red shades on her cheeks. She didn't mind it anymore. She'd just smile through it. He wasn't shy about his feelings so she wasn't going to be any different.

A little giggle came out of her as she broke eye contact and started fiddling with the corner of the book. He smiled, reading through her body language like it was his favourite novel.

Never could he have thought of reaching this point where he'd have her in his arms like this, in a moment like this, doing things like this. Back then, the only assurance he had was that she could make his heart flutter in ways itself didn't know about: her smile, her face whenever she was focused on reading or just her simple presence.

Oh, God. No way she's real.

Before they could get here, it seemed she didn't know of his existence and yet he felt like she was watching every one of his moves and he had to be perfect, absolutely perfect for her, just her. That's the only thing she deserved for being perfection incarnate.

From the day he set eyes on her, he'd decided that everything he'd do was going to be just for her. The efforts paid off anyway.

There's nothing more beautiful than knowing that the person you love, loves you just as much-he'd say even more but he doubts she could ever love him more than he loves her because he loved her so much, maybe too much, but it's all for a good cause.

Her smile whenever she came out to go to school or went back in from school. Perfect. The sound of her voice whenever she came up to him during lunch break―oh, and let's not talk about how adorable she was whenever she happily hopped up to him while at it. Perfect. Her face. Oh so perfect. He could stare at her face all day and never get tired, never get uninterested. It was like a TV series with an infinite amount of seasons that got better as they went on. A perfect TV series. He could fully focus with her around and certainly just on her and nothing else―he could barely hear what she'd be talking about because he'd be busy watching every single change in her facial expression and never get bored. Boredom went out of his life the day she came in.

If he could, he'd write poems on how pretty she looked, on how perfect she was. He'd probably make the next Catullus or even better, he'd dare say. Everyone would love to read about her and how she makes him feel. He even wonders how she isn't loved, worshipped in fact, by everyone but he's glad he's the only one whom she hops to whenever class is dismissed, the only one to have her cheeks explore all possible shades of red, the only one whose arms she'd willingly fall asleep in between.

The silence that sat with them was comfortable, to say the least. It felt like a bigger and warmer hug embracing them and encapsulating them in their world.

"Talking about evergreens, my faves are these," she turned the pages while maintaining the same height as his face so that when she looked back up, the eye contact was restored, "Gardenias,"

"Oh. So pretty. Beautiful".

next page⇢

[littlefreya]

Dirty Henry

Summary: A picnic in the rural forest turns into a steamy game of profanities as Henry decides to demonstrate how he would persuade you to be his.

Pairing: Henry Cavill x Reader (2nd person POV)

Word count: 2K

Warning: 18+, smutty smut, oral sex - female receiving, lewd, descriptive profanities that will make your ears burn,praising, outdoor sex, gentle rough sex, creampie. 

A/N: This was requested ages ago: messing around with Henry duri picnic. The dirty talk was inspired by a chat with Wendy. Beta’d by the one and only queen @agniavateira. The Mythology quotes of Apollo and Dapne are based on Wikipedia. *No permission is given of reposting, copying my work or ideas and parts from it and claiming it as your own* 

Feedback is welcome, comment and reblog if you enjoyed. 

Title: Dirty Henry

Honey-coloured leaves floated in the air, flapping tenderly like frail butterflies that danced frivolously in the wind. Lying on your back over a blanket, you watched them as you listened to the rustle of leaves and the water flowing down the small stream nearby.  

Henry’s head rested on your thigh; his smooth baritone stroked your ears in the most satisfying melody you’ve ever heard as he read to from his book.

“...Offended by Apollo’s remarks, Eros has decided to take vengeance on the god. He shot him with a golden arrow, causing him to fall intensely in love with Daphne, the fair river nymph, which he then shot with a lead arrow, imbuing her with pure hatred toward Apollo.”

A small grin peeked at the corners of your lips, your hand reaching to find the dark bundle of curls on his head and began coaxing them around your slender fingers. 

The forest smelled of evergreen mist, mushy lichen, and tranquil tree stumps that had new lifeforms growing on them. On the tip of your nose, you caught Henry’s distinguished scent. His earthy musk called you by your name.  

Henry wiggled slightly on your thigh and cleared his throat before he continued reading.

“Apollo chased the virginal nymph through the thicket, all the while declaring his undying love. When all seemed lost, Daphne cried out and begged her father, Peneus, to save her from Apollo’s unwanted courtship.”

“When a guy is so annoying that you have to turn into a tree in order to get rid of him for good,” you teased while inhaling the alluring scent of the forest.

Henry chuckled lightly, his head bobbing on your leg. He turned on his side and looked at you, his cut cheeks rose to a playful smile. “Well, perhaps all Apollo needed was a chance to show her his true affection to persuade her.”

“Oh, is that so?” you tilted your head to gaze at Henry with amusement, noticing the spark of mischief that shone in his cobalt eyes. He placed the book down on its belly and flipped onto his haunches, planting a kiss on your exposed ankle.   

“Perhaps…” he uttered, the soft pads of his fingers running up the path of your leg like tongues of silk. Your leg jolted at his touch, breaking down to the ground feebly. Henry leaned down, nudging your other leg aside, his mouth was hot and wet around your inner thigh. “...all she needed was for him to show her.”

You nibbled your lip, watching Henry’s dark curls shine between your knees in the scattered daylight. His broad back flexed, taut muscles moved in synergy as he worked through the path to your hidden garden.

“Sometimes, you just need to eat her pussy properly, and she’s yours.” he said huskily. You flushed at his profanities, your cheeks tingling as blood rushed to your head. He had a way with words; they didn’t just sound dirty; they were sin itself, and his rich British accent made even the most sacrilegious statement deeply romantic. 

Henry was well aware of your embarrassment, teasing you for your false chastity. He used his mouth in many talented ways, whispering lust against your enticing flesh to make your ears burn. 

You stared coyly, hugging your breasts like a shy lover, watching him explore you as if you were uncharted territory. 

His tongue embarked through the vale of your body, leaving a wet trail that chilled your skin in the October breeze. You threw your head back and hissed to the canopy of leaves that hid the two of you from the sky. Every touch of his fingers against your flesh set feverish ripples through your skin. Possessive hands grasped at soft the hills of your breasts and squeezed tightly while his lips marked their way below your navel.

He enjoyed this, making you feel so powerless. His deep blue eyes pierced sharply as your head went from side to side like a scared virgin, biting your knuckle as excitement blazed between your sweaty inner thighs. His greedy fingers gripped at the meat of your hips, folding your legs up and splitting them while his head dived in-between.

The soft curls of his hair tickled the naked skin of your apex. Lush and tender kisses dotted the line that led to your core. 

“Henry, please,” you begged, out of breath. His fingers stroked the shape of your womanhood, rimming the gates of your garden with the soft pads of his finger. He laid a kiss on the silk shawl of your clit and an amorous hum spilt from him, appeased at the lusciousness of your skin. 

“I love your cunt, so much.” his words slurred with sultry haze, emphasising the one word that made your muscles sear with embarrassment. You threaded your fingers through your hair and tugged at it as frustration and tension grew across your nerves. 

It was astonishing how vocal he was whilst roping simple words with sinful actions. 

He kissed your cherry, tongue lapping around it slowly before his lips suckled longingly. A deep moan vibrated through the pit of his mouth, making you mewl with blissful little jolts of pleasure. 

“Fuck,” Henry murmured as he broke from your clit and moved his lips against the sweet petals of your cunt, his hot breath caressing your succulent fruit. “I’m going to lick every inch of this marvellous pussy, and then fuck you with my tongue.” 

The air vaporised in your lungs; moans didn’t even meet their end, becoming hoarse wheezes, shuddering through the threads of your sinew. Violent tremors made your legs jitter in his grip, had he not held you forcefully they would have fallen aside. 

A low chuckle escaped him as he hooked one of your knees over his shoulder and moved a hand to manipulate your folds. His fingers unwrapped you, pulling your valley open to allow his tongue taste the nectar of your arousal.

Your entire body arched as if possessed, your spine levitating over the surface, desperate howls sent to the sky above. His tongue lingered through your seams, collecting every drop attentively. 

“Be a good girl, and I’ll shove my cock inside you.”

Speech was another one of his powers, enchanting you entirely. You whimpered as his hips bucked against yours in a desperate demand. He would never just fuck you, no, Henry loved to take his time. Foreplay would go for hours if he felt like it, playing with your body until your throat went dry and ached and your bones melted away. 

“You like it, don’t you?” he asked as he ran the snake in his mouth all the way through your swollen crease. “Me going deep inside your sweet little cunny, splitting you open, shooting my load inside you.” 

He expected no answer as you couldn’t form any, but you cried out and ripped turfs of grass in your hands instead. His large tongue sank inside your cunt, invading as deep as possible between the velvet walls. He curled it skillfully, savouring on the taste with a delightful moan. 

Pleasing you gave him just as much bliss. You were made to believe you were ambrosia which he feasted on. 

His mouth mapped your insides, knowing every spot, lavishing it on repeat while your moans increased, turning into hopeless cries. This man has read the language of your body. He knew when you were close and he knew how to prolong his torture- to make it last, to make you scream. 

And scream you did, with tears rolling down your temples, eyes squeezed shut as the stimulation became too much. He sucked on your cunt and plunged his tongue, getting you close and then far again. 

The pleasure bundled at the edge of your core, knotting your muscles from your orgasm. In despair, you squirmed, frustration making you seek for any means to breach through heaven which was just a kiss away. Waving from side to side, you pleaded, but Henry’s large hand slid onto your lower torso, pressing you down to be grounded with nothing but slight force. He limited your movement as he ate you out profoundly, his tongue singing hymns in your depth.

“Henry!” you wailed, unable to withstand his torture. His chin chafed you, his tongue squirmed between your lush lips and just when you thought you were to blackout, he thrust the tip of his into the spot that made you see stars. Your dam broke, your head lifted from the ground as ecstasy spasmed through every nerve, lighting it with an electric charge.

Untethered gasps fell from your mouth, chest heaving up and down as euphoria lingered by. Henry was impatient, his wide waist was already pushed between your spread-open thighs to fulfil his promise. The metallic clanging of his belt was sharp enough to pull you back down, followed by the giant hovering over your small frame and driving into your still-convulsing cavern, sliding in veins and ridges. 

And you felt it all.

A duet of moans played into the forest as your bodies collided. Henry ran deep, bottoming inside and clutching your jaw to the side, praising your neck and cheeks with earnest kisses and grunts that reverberated in your ears.   

“Fuck,” he groaned as he rocked above you back and forth, his thick shaft pulsated blazing-hot amidst the fight your walls put against his invasion. They never stood a chance, he was iron in velvet expanding them with every shove.

“Such a tight little pussy,” he breathed as he slipped in and out in a steady rhythm, “I’m going to come inside you, paint you with my seed.”

His hands seized your face again, his bulging biceps caging your head while he uttered words of praise entangled with obscenities. The threats of what he planned to do with your body, of how good it felt inside you made you wail in an embarrassing pleasure.

“Yes, take it. Take my cock,” he snarled breathlessly. He was heavy above and inside your body, every slam forcing your legs to jerk helplessly in the air and your behind to ache as it mashed beneath the weight of his body. You cried in ecstasy, feeling his entire length pumping in and out. Long, rasping plunges spiralled inside with tingling little tremors that danced in your essence and continued to spread further the tighter he got you. 

Feeling the tightness grow around his shaft he snapped his arms beneath your knees, spreading you wider so he could fuck you vigorously into oblivion. You screamed his name in despair, his grip making you no more than a fucktoy to which he jostled his cock into, back and forth, wet and quick.

And you loved it, you loved feeling like you’re nothing but a slit for him; your entire essence shattered, destroyed by his body, consumed by your love for him. The new position made his sac thud lewdly beneath your slit, and your clit repeatedly ground into his pubic bone. 

The merciless ordeal was too much, seeing Henry above you and herding his moans was too much.

“Henry!!! Fuck! I...”  You were broken in, sobs of pure bliss cracked through your throat as you came undone, bursting with love. Your head rolled back on the ground, and your body locked him in with zeal. Henry groaned, sinking his teeth into your shoulder as he felt the suction in you, pulling him deeper like a siren drowning a lost sailor. Your convulsing walls begged for the rich milk of his loins as he fought to delay his pleasure, but lost to the turbulence that overwhelmed him.

Shouting your name, he released himself, gasping hot against the corner of your mouth. You were stuffed full of his cum as he pulled out; he held your legs up and slid your panties back on. 

“I want it to stay,” he explained, “I want you to carry me in your panties all day long.”

He crawled to lie by your side and reached his hand to the book. His finger went into his mouth to dampen it as he turned the page over as if nothing happened.

“Next chapter, Hades and Persephone.” 

[pcvensies]

Being in a polyamorous relationship with Percy and Leo would include...

requested by my babiest @hazzy

reader is gender neutral as always, also i’ve never writen polyships before so... headcanons to begin, and let’s see where that takes me!

this is kinda short and terrible, im SORRY in advanced

it happened so naturally

you liked percy first, a big crush kind of thing

mighty percy jackson, you know? how could you not?

but then you actually met him

he was so sweet all the time, kinda chaotic

in a cute way

leo was your best friend

everyone kind of thought you were together already anyways

he’s a flirty mess, he’s always been

but from one summer to another bOOM!

#nevillelongbottomed!

his flirting isn’t just funny anymore... it starts working

lots of confusion

and guilt

feeling awful for liking them both, and following their little flirty games

you feel like you’re playing with them, but you really can’t choose

Eros is kinda terrible sometimes, ya know, outed Nico... but he appears to you

and you’re SHOOK to say the least

“So... two boys, huh?” “Don’t make me say it out loud”

he introduces you to the world of polylove. you didn’t even know that was a thing. but it makes sense

you realise you might be polyamorous

flashforward to one night

you, leo and perce were doing guards as a punishment for pranking some apollo kids

leo was bored as fuck, which meant he got anxious and needed to fiddle with something and keep his hands busy

and you can tell percy isn’t displeased by leo playing with his fingers to keep himself entertained

they’re always flirting too, but you thought it was in a non-toxic-masculinity way. as bros

you realise you were probably WRONG

so you sigh deeply, and they both turn to you

percy chuckles and offers you his other hand

“it’s relaxing, really”, leo laughs, percy’s hand still on his

you sit next to them, leo being next to percy, and you between the blue eyed boy’s legs, facing leo

you try to take percy’s hand, but he starts playing with your hair

“i am bored too, you know?” he defends himself, and you nod

you start drawing little circles on leo’s calf with your pointer finger, and he moves his leg so it is against yours

you’re all somehow touching the other two

it’s all quiet, and warm, and nice

you feel so happy and full

so you spit it out

“i had a talk with Eros the other day, he appeared at my cabin” “you did? what did he want?” “yeah, did he just... appear?” “well... i had this thought eating my brains up... regarding love. and he helped me figure it out” “and what was it?” “you can’t not tell us now, you’ve already set the doubt, mi amor”

cue long silence, your eyes stuck to the floor while you took a deep breath

“i am polyamorous”

then more silence

percy’s hand moves away from your hair, and you feel your heart drop, afraid you fucked up

but he turns to look at leo

“i am bi”

leo then looks at you

“and i am pansexual, i think... so that’s the whole pack right here”

you chuckle nervously, your shoulders shaking slightly, finally releasing all the tension

“i was uh... i felt like there was something wrong with me, you know? because i... i liked you two. and it felt wrong, but when he explained it to me... it didn’t anymore”

“it doesn’t sound wrong... for me”

“it’s cool with me, if you get what i mean”

you three laughed at the realisation that you have all been feeling the same, but none had said anything

and thats how it started

NOW THE ACTUAL THING SORRY I NEEDED TO GIVE A BRACKGROUND TO IT ALL

you cuddle a lot, usually at cabin 2 since it’s just percy’s

you take turns on being on the middle, but its usually you

percy hugs you from behind, his nose nuzzled on your nape, and every now and then, he presses little kisses on the back of your neck

leo’s arms are wrapped around your waist, his head tucked under your chin, casually shifting it to place little kisses on your jaw or neck

their hands are intertwined over your hip, and percy tends to rest his arm on your side, but use his hand to play with leo’s curls

when it’s not the three of you together, it’s always two

as in, there’s usually always 2/3 around camp together while the other is busy

you and leo LOVE watching percy train, him being in absolute focus, the way he moves and the look on his face

so very good views of your man

percy and you sometimes just sit around cabin 9 to watch leo work

it’s one of the only times were he’s not fiddling with something or shifting nervously, he feels full and proud, he is genuinely happy and content with himself

when he asks for a tool, you two ‘fight’ to be the one to give it to him

percy and leo love watching you sleep

i know, kinda silly but they do

you look so peaceful, your arms wrapped around percy’s waist, head on his chest, while leo hugs you from behind, his hand running up and down your side, pressing kisses to your head

they look at each other in full awe of you, and whisper about how lucky they are

whenever you guys cant sleep together, it feels so lonely :(

the first time you slept all together, leo woke you up by knocking at your cabin’s window

“leo... what are you—“ “it’s percy...”

you managed to make it out through the window, not a second thought

you both find him sat in the edge of his bed, looking down

“baby, what’s wrong?” “can you stay here tonight?” “of course we can, mi amor”

he’s in the middle that night

you play with his hair, while leo sings some sweet spanish lullabies to you two

you three fall asleep, peacefully, on percy’s bed

percy kisses more passionately than leo, but leo kisses more. lot’s of lil random pecks, while percy kisses you two less times, but showing all of his love through the kisses

percy prefers holding hands, while leo prefers hugs

they’re both taller and they LOVE reminding you

+18 content, careful kids!

percy groans, while leo moans

percy is more of top than leo is. percy tops both you and leo. you bottom for percy but top leo. leo is a cute as fuck bottom

percy likes to give hickeys, but not that much to have them (he’s not a fan of having bruises on him... fuck gabe 2020), while leo likes giving them and getting them

you’re covered in them at all times, from both of them

your first time was so fun, and sweet, and caring

everyone was so careful and gentle, experimenting, trying to see what felt right for the others and themselves

percy moans sweet nothings, while leo swears:

“that feels so good, baby...”

“fuck— oh gods... that’s so fucking nice, mi amor...”

leo likes giving orals more than receiving them, while percy doesn’t mind to give of receive

leo gets very turned on by watching you and percy start

he’s a little mess, we love him

+18 content over!

aftercare is so sweet please

y’all help each other clean out

soft hand holding, little cheek kisses, gentle cuddling and small chuckles

you and percy cleaning out leo, and when he goes back to bed, you two shower together

leo and you always making sure perce sleeps and eats, cause he sometimes forgets to take care of himself

percy and you making sure leo doesn’t overwork himself, and helping him out of his selfconscious spirals

both of them making sure you’re safe and you know you’re loved and you matter the world to them

communicative, healthy relationship

you trust each other with everything, and you’re best friends before anything

never feeling unloved, or guilty, again

because you have two wonderful boys who love you

and two wonderful boys to love

[malfoys-demigod]

You, Me, and Salsa Nights

Leo Valdez x Reader

A/N: It was brought to my attention that @kwilliamoon thinks my Leo fics are bomb and I love them so much for that. Enjoy, all! 

Request from them: PLS PLS UHHHH CAN I REQUEST LIKE A LEO FIC WHERE HIM AND HIS GF ARE IN THR MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND THEY CANT SLEEP SO THEY GO INTO THEIR BIG LIVING ROOM AND HE KINDA TEACH HER SALSA OR SMTH AND THEY DANCE LIKE THAT IN A CUTE WAY??

Word Count: 1.6k 

After another long-lasting and draining day at Camp Half-Blood, Leo Valdez was finally done with the day. It was Friday, which meant he went through the last of many things for the weekday. He was finished with the last cabin inspection first thing in the morning, greek classes, battle training, various activities and chores, competition, and campfire sing-along, which he was glad to avoid during the weekends, now that he could have the option to dodge the favorite hobbies of the children of Apollo. 

With it being eleven o’clock in the evening, it was curfew time, and Leo felt a wave of relief the moment he crashed into his comfy single-bed. ‘Happy Friday indeed,’ he thought to himself as his eyes closed, breathing in slowly as he tried falling asleep. 

It was only a few minutes past eleven o’clock when Leo’s face wrinkled in disappointment as he frustratingly sat back up, opening his irritated eyes. What was wrong with him? Why did he feel the need not to sleep at the moment? He shook his head and laid his back against the bed again, trying to knock himself asleep once again. He closed his eyes harder, trying to tell his body that it was time to doze off. 

Not even one minute had passed when Leo’s head felt like an erupting volcano. He started grumbling curse words in Spanish as he sat back up again, placing his hand on his forehead. He looked around the room, examining all his half-siblings, who have succeeded in falling asleep unlike him, which made him envious of what they were doing at the moment. Since his body was not up for sleeping, he had no problem getting out of his steel bunk bed, actively, but slowly, to make sure he wouldn’t wake up anybody. 

Luckily for him, he was nearby the iconic fire pole of his cabin, which comes down from the second floor, the floor he was currently at, all the way to the ground floor. He grabbed onto the pole and made his way down to the ground floor, which was always unclean and messy, filled with junk most of the time. 

Leo looked around the room, checking out the workbench with overflew with scrap metal, screws, bolts, washers, nails, rivets, and a million other machine parts. He may have had the energy to get out of bed, but did not have the enthusiasm to do any work, plus, there was another chance of waking anyone up. 

He made his way to the exit of the cabin, which had a lot of gears around, as he slowly opened the door and stood by the entrance of his cabin. He wasn’t scared of getting caught by authorities such as Mr. D or Chiron, because he was a counselor! He could have made a small, white lie and defended himself by saying he thought he heard someone try to sneak out. Besides, he knew a couple of people, cabin-mate or not, who would also be seen, awake at this ungodly hour. 

Leo was leaning by the brick wall of the entrance, looking all the way at Cabin Four, the cabin covered in beautiful flowers and tomato plants, which would grow on the walls and doorway. It wasn’t hard for Leo to find his girlfriend, Y/N, who would be often seen at night, randomly watering the wildflowers and roses, which grow on the porch, as a way to serve her boredom at night. She too was someone who had trouble sleeping like Leo. 

It didn’t take long for Y/N to discover that her boyfriend was up at night as well on that day. As she was watering the flowers, she noticed a small spot of fire from the corner of her eyesight, waving in mad directions. She looked up and turned to see a figure by Cabin Nine, waving around the small spot of fire she could feel from the corner of her eyesight. 

There was a smile on her face the moment she realized that it was her boyfriend Leo, who was the one by the entrance of Cabin Nine. Y/N quickly finished watering the plants and discretely jogged from her cabin to Leo’s. Leo was opening his arms wide, as Y/N’s body crashed with his, hugging him as tight as she could. 

Leo could hear small giggles from her girlfriend, as he pulled away to see that she was smiling happily from her giggles. “Couldn’t sleep again, mi amor?” he obviously asked her, placing a strand of her hair in the back of her ear. 

Y/N nodded, “Guilty as charged.” Leo nodded as well, understanding her. “Me neither. And I even thought today was one of the most tiring days we’ve had,” he complained playfully. 

Y/N laughed at his complaint, “You probably are starting to lack cardio, Valdez,” she sarcastically suggested, “I can’t sleep because I fear I might have nightmares,” she embarrassingly said, “like last night.” She looked down to the ground, contemplating on the nightmare she experienced recently. 

Leo placed a finger on her chin, causing her to look back up at him. “Hey,” he quietly said, “Nightmares aren’t something to be ashamed of. We all get ‘em too, Y/N. Like literally, last week, I didn’t want to tell you this but I dreamt that Festus ate all my scrap metal, which caused me to wake up screaming and waking up my other cabin-mates.”

Y/N’s embarrassed smile turned into laughter as she giggled again, “And is that why I overheard Jake Mason and Nyssa Barrera complain about you last week?” Leo shrugged sarcastically, without an answer, meaning that it was definitely about that. Y/N nodded in understanding, which caused Leo to shake his head, “Anyways,” he said, “I have a proposition for you, mi amor.”

“I’m listening,” Y/N said. 

Leo turned around to open the door to his cabin. He took a hold of Y/N’s hand as he brought her inside his cabin. Y/N hesitantly pulled his hand, which made him turn around to her attention. “Leo, are you sure this is a good idea for me to be in your cabin? At this hour? I think I should get going-”

“Relaaaax, mamacita,” Leo comforted her, placing his hands on her shoulders, “I’m a counselor of this cabin. I’ve got power here.” he confidently assured her. Y/N took a deep breath and gave in, nodding at Leo, who smiled in relief. 

“Okay,” he said, “I need cardio, and you need something to help distract you from thinking about another round of nightmares, right?” 

“Mhm,” Y/N verified, “And what about them?”

Leo grinned with something on his mind as he turned around to switch on the radio he built, turning on an energetic song, but at a low volume, which was perfect for the two of them to hear. Y/N tilted her head, wondering why he did that. “What’s happening, Leo?”

A smirk grew on Leo’s face as he walked closer to Y/N, placing one hand on her waist, and another on her shoulder. “Cuera Maraca y Bongo is happening and I’m going to teach you how to dance the salsa.”

Y/N’s eyes grew wide, but she followed Leo and placed her hands on him as well. “Are you sure this is a good proposition, Leo?” she hesitantly asked him. 

“Again, relax, Y/N/N,” he reminded her, “You’re going to be a natural in this. If my mother taught a hard-headed person like me, then I can teach someone who’s unsure of whether she has the moves in her or not.”

-- 

Y/N, as instructed by Leo, rocked back on her right foot to the beat of the song. She smoothly shifted her weight from the front to back to shift her body position. Leo smiled as she cooperated and executed it well. He swung his hips slightly to accentuate the movement, which she willingly followed. 

She didn’t question how smooth of a dancer her boyfriend was, but instead, she focused on becoming somehow smooth of a beginner dancer that night. 

Once the song was finished, Leo and Y/N were still in each other’s arms, looking at each other with admiration. Leo was astonished at how quickly his girlfriend could learn the salsa, as he took weeks to months, learning from the footsteps of his own mother. There was more to learn about Y/N from his point of view. 

From Y/N’s point of view, she was staggered by how excellent of a dancer he was. She was always there when Leo would taunt others, teasing them that they were to be cautious of his ‘sick dance moves’ he kept in his sleeves. She never knew how much of a skilled dancer he actually was, and they were in fact, the sickest moves she ever witnessed. 

It was time to break the silence when Leo and Y/N coincidentally spoke at the same time, expressing, “You’re amazing.” There was awestruck in their reactions, for saying the same thing at the same time, and for bringing out the truth all of a sudden. 

Y/N chuckled, grinning at Leo, “Leo, I never knew how much of a dancer you were. This is definitely something you should show off to everyone here.”

Leo, flattered, shook his head and hands, “No, no, no, as much as I want to show this off, and believe me, I do, since I have the right to,” he teased, “YOU, my lovely girlfriend, should be the one showing off those moves- well, to the girls, definitely NOT the guys here- er- anyways, Y/N, you’re going to be natural in such a quick time, believe me. You have gifts.”

Y/N smiled, “Aw, thanks, Leo.” Then, all of a sudden, her smile turned into a surprised facial expression, as Y/N figured something out. “Leo! I think we just found a way to use up sleepless nights.”

Leo, happy as ever, leaned in and kissed Y/N’s forehead, and said, “You, me, and salsa nights.”

[cascades-fiction]

Multiverse Imagines

Just Like The Old Days

co-creator : @QuinniexC in (wattpad)

It was an early day for the Jacksons. They were already up before the first light. Apollo has not even mounted his own sun chariot to bring light above the world.

But that was not the case, the young family decided to pay someone a small visit after not being able to see each other for five years.

Little Serena Jackson sat in the back seat. Still fast asleep with a slight pout, her mother Annabeth watching over her through the rear view mirror, a little smile playing her lips.

Percy had one hand on the steering wheel while the other one held Annabeth's. His gaze was pleasant and at peace.

They drove through the streets of Stamford, overlooking different sets of building apartments and several townhomes. Cars were parked beside the sidewalk and in front of shops.

Elderly women chatted happily in a nearby bench with their husbands who weren't much interested in their conversation.

He drove his BMW for about 47 minutes until arriving at New Haven. The young family decided to stop by and have some breakfast at Atticus Bookstore Cafe.

Percy looked around for a parking space and his eyes immediately fell on a blank spot in front of the store. "You wanna go in first? You and Serena?" He asked

She looked at him and shook her head " No it's okay, we'll all go in together"

He nodded and started to park the car. After he did, the two of them took off their seat belts and looked behind. They were met by Serena gazing at them with sleepy eyes. In unison, they chuckled.

"Where are we?" She asked quietly, rubbing her eyes awake. A yawn letting out her small lips, her hair in two low pigtails. She says it's her new favorite hairstyle.

"We're in New Haven sweetie,"Annabeth said softly, tickling her daughter's feet, earning a sweet giggle. "We are gonna eat breakfast okay? Then we'll go straight to Boston to meet your uncle Magnus!"

"Uncle Magnus?" She tilted her head, frowning. She was clearly not familiar with the name her mother mentioned.

"Yeah baby.. it's mommy's cousin" Percy answered.

"Hmm... Momma's cousin? Okay then!" She smiled, making her parents smile as well. Annabeth and Percy got out of the vehicle. She opened the back door, unbuckling her daughter and lifting her up in her arms while Percy locked up the car. Altogether they entered the cafe.

Once they had gone in, Serena perked up seeing all the stacked books the cafe had to offer. She wiggled out of her mother's hold and immediately started jumping up and down, pointing at the bookshelves, a wide grin plastered on her face. "Momma! I want to see the books!"

Annabeth smiled at her "Later we'll check them out huh?"

"Why later?" Serena pouted

She knelt down to her daughter's level "Because we have to order our breakfast first okay? And then after we find a table, we could go check out the books—"

"Uh uh." Percy intervened, getting a hold of Serena's hand " I could take her there now, it's alright"

"Are you sure?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah definitely." He kissed his wife's cheek "we'll meet you over there" he said, pointing at the farthest table near the window.

"Yeah sure." She looked at Serena, who grinned from ear to ear "Behave with daddy okay?"

She nodded cutely, before dragging Percy with her tiny fingers wrapped around his big ones toward the bookshelves. Annabeth smiled thinking how much her daughter was like her when she was younger and up until now. She lined up from a trail of customers, awaiting her turn.

As soon as she was first in line, smiling, the cashier asked for her order "Hi good morning, what would you like today?"

Annabeth returned the simple gesture "Good morning um, I would like 2 Croque Monsieur with 2 Espressos and 1 breakfast sandwich. Also 1 hot chocolate please"

The cashier nodded, typing down her order on the monitor. "Is that all?"

"Yes that's all" Annabeth confirmed

The cashier nodded once more. She looked up saying, "That would be $37. "

Annabeth took out her wallet and paid. The cashier thanked her and told her to wait. As she made her way towards the table they had agreed on, A little body collided with her leg, wrapping her little arms around her lower limb. She looked down and saw a sight that made her heart melt all the way.

"Momma!" The little girl chirped happily.

Annabeth grinned, hoisting her up in her arms "Baby!" Serena giggled, placing a wet kiss on her mom's cheek. "Where's daddy?"

Serena pointed toward the end of the cafe where they could see Percy carrying handfuls of various books.

Annabeth let out a laugh when she saw Percy's face. He looked so flustered and rapt at the same time. He was never interested in books because of his ADHD and dyslexia but he was always willing to go to a library just for his wife and his daughter. He loves seeing their reactions whenever they see a wide selection of books in a library or whenever they spot a beautiful architecture. They'd always beg to stop the car and he'd be more glad to do so just to see their faces.

"Aren't you a sweet daddy.." Annabeth cooed, putting her arms behind his neck. She brushed the hair away from his eyes and leaned in to give a quick kiss before pulling away and assisting him with the books. "Are we buying all of this?"

"Serena said she'd pick from all of these. Only two or three, okay honey?" He said to his daughter

"Okay!" She answered, flopping down onto one of the chairs, re-scanning all of the books she took whilst her parents settled down to the seats in front of her, watching her adoringly.

"She's a lot like you, you know" Percy whispered, beaming in happiness

She stared at him with affection.

"Yeah she is... though she's got so much of your sass and your blue food addiction it's crazy. She's as sweet as you too"

He chuckled, remarking "That's our girl"

"That's our girl…" she agreed, nodding with a small smile.

"Momma! Daddy!" The little girl looked up at them, "These!" She lifted up two books and kinda shoved them in their faces, her look overjoyed. It was Geronimo Stilton and the lost treasure of the emerald eye. And another, Geronimo Stilton and the curse of the cheese pyramid.

Annabeth grinned from ear to ear, "These are wonderful, honey!"

"Yeah they are! All of the books I have at home are too much for kids." She shook her disapprovingly, her pigtails bouncing along.

"But baby, you are a kid" Percy said

"Yeah I am but I'm smarter than most!" She declared proudly, placing both of her hands on her hips with a look of pride on her face.

"Yeah you are…" Annabeth smirked

"Gods she gets that from you—" Percy told her, shaking his head in disbelief

"Does she?" She asked innocently, tilting her head sideways "Oh well."

Percy snorted, gathering the books in his hands "I'll be paying for this," he said, standing up. "Don't have too much fun while I'm gone" he told them, with a playful smile.

"Don't you worry Mr. Jackson," Annabeth assured him "we won't. right Rena baby?"

"Yeah!" She replied almost immediately "Books! Books! Books!" She started chanting

Percy and Annabeth met each other's gaze, her mouthing 'You heard her'

'yes ma'am' he mouthed back and left.

***

Thereafter he had paid for the books she chose, he walked back to the table at the same moment the waitress came with their orders. Serena already returned the excess books with any help from her mother. (Annabeth was very proud)

"2 Croque Monsieurs, 2 Espressos, 1 breakfast sandwich and 1 hot chocolate!" The waitress beamed, tucking a piece of hair strand behind her ear the minute she met eyes with Percy. "Anything else I can get you?" She asked, amorously advancing, not even acknowledging his wife in front of her.

Annabeth noticed this behavior and as fast as lighting, a flash of irritation crossed her eyes. She pursed her lips, clearly not wanting this woman to be in her husband's presence. But Percy being Percy was completely oblivious to the fact that the woman in front has taken a liking to him. He smiled, "3 glasses of water please"

"On the way" the woman winked, swaying her hips as she left. Percy shrugged nonchalantly, sitting down next to Annabeth who stared at him sternly. He suddenly was aware of this. "Wise girl? Is there something wrong?"

She blinked hard. Pointing a crooked finger toward the woman, her other hand formed in fists. "Her."

He looked at the figure she pointed, his eyebrows furrowed. "Her? What do you mean by her?"

"She has eyes on you! Can you not see that?"

He was taken aback. "What? I didn't even notice"

She rolled her eyes, "of course you didn't. You're as oblivious as you can be Percy."

"Wise girl it's not my fault—"

"I know it's not! It's that dam girl!" She half yelled, completely vexed. Serena looked at them with both confusion and concern, still munching on her sandwich happily.

"Wise girl it's nothing okay? She doesn't mean anything to me. Just don't mind her." He tried

"How can I not mind her when she's coming back this way, with your tray of water. Just great" she exclaimed sarcastically. When the woman came, Serena did the most mind-boggling thing in the universe. "Stay away from my daddy!"

Percy's jaw dropped. Annabeth's irritated face turned complacent, feeling a swell of pride coarse through her veins. The woman was gobsmacked, unable to reply to the little girl, Annabeth intruded. "You heard her. Leave the drinking glasses here and walk away. Otherwise you'd find yourself lifeless in a second." She said in a dangerously calm voice, gesturing for her to go and get out.

The woman looked down in shame. Embarrassed. She turned toward the opposite direction and rushed for the door.

Annabeth gave her daughter a discreet thumbs up, clearly proud. Percy got over his shock and looked at his daughter and wife. "Okay, look. I'm really proud of you for being sassy but that was not very nice. Both of you" he stated

"Percy—"

"That was very wrong. She likes me so what? That won't give me a reason to stop loving you. Or leave you. Whatever this world throws at us, I can promise you, I'll always be by your side. You and Serena's. I love you Wise girl"

Annabeth said nothing at first. Her stormy grey eyes were shone with intense light. She looked into his eyes for a long moment as though searching for something of importance. Then, all of a sudden, she smiled and it occurred to Percy that she found what she was looking for, even if he did not know what it was.

Without further warning, she leaned into his tall frame, gently placing her lips on his. To Percy, he did not know if she really had any physical and emotional power over him or if it's only his own spirit but he swore, he felt fireworks explode the moment he felt his lips touch hers.

Truth be told, they only stopped when a voice said "I'm still here you know…" pulling apart, they were met face to face with a glare from Serena.

"Sorry baby, are you already finished?" Percy asked shyly

"Yup! Only drinking my hot chocolate. Also waiting for you two!" Her glare evaporated and was replaced by a delighted grin.

"Oh right! Wait for me and mommy and then we're going straight to Boston"

***

As soon as they had finished their breakfast, the time said it was only 9:00 am and they still had many hours to go before arriving at Boston. They hauled all of their belongings, Serena gripping her brown paper bag with books. She took both Annabeth and Percy's hand, trying her best to reach it and all together they went back to the car.

Percy buckled Serena's seat belt, earning a soft thank you from his daughter. He went back to his place in the driver's seat, starting the vehicle. With that, he placed the key inside the ignition and the car roared to life.

They drove for about 42 minutes through a vast over-lit city, a wide set of buildings towering over them as they crossed an intersection. The streets of Hartford were clean, polished and newly painted. Tall trees were planted near a sidewalk beside poles. Cars were parked on the side of the road and the wind blew a gentle breeze out. Serena looked outside of her car window, completely mesmerized by the scenery as the family passed each building one by one, driving at 55 miles per hour. Annabeth gave Percy her hand and just like earlier, he gladly laced it with hers. Giving her his classic troublemaker smile.

Once they were out of Hartford, the family drove for about 54 minutes, before arriving at Old Sturbridge Village, Massachusetts. As they traveled, they caught sight of a wild field of meadows, overlooking several tobacco barns and modern farm houses. People wore rural New England 1700s clothing, as If it was the day of Halloween. White historical buildings were spotted behind wooden fences. Trees the color of red and gold swayed by. Leaves fell down from the trees, rustling on the pavement.

They arrived at Lexington, Massachusetts at 10:21 am. Lexington is a suburban town in Middlesex county. Only 10 miles from Downtown Boston. They passed through several storefronts and monuments. Teenagers at 14 leisurely strolled by. Orange leaves covered the grass and the asphalt. Tiny American flags were affixed on the grass. Percy turned around the corner and they passed through a sign that said, 'LEFT LANE. MUST TURN LEFT.' When Serena suddenly spoke,

"Momma, Daddy… How come Uncle Magnus only wants to meet me now? Was he busy?"

Annabeth looked at her lovingly, "Yes honey, he was. But now that he's got his work done, we can finally meet him!"

Serena smiled a toothy grin then slowly asked "what does he look like?"

It was her father's turn to smile. "Anyone who would've seen them might assume they'd be siblings, baby" he said

She tilted her head "How come?"

"Well.. he's got the very same blonde hair and the identical stormy grey eyes. Though Uncle Magnus' eyes are more friendly than your mom's" he told her, earning a playful slap from Annabeth and a high giggle from Serena.

"What's he like?" She asked once more

"He's a goofy butt" Annabeth smirked then continued "even so he's amazing. He's only a butt because he made everyone think he was dead"

"So he's not dead?"

"Oh he is but still very much alive" she answered simply. Serena looked confused, locking eyes with her father who only laughed.

They made their way out of Lexington Massachusetts. Passing through numerous skyscrapers and other tall buildings, stores and houses. After 20 minutes of driving through towns they finally arrived at Boston. Percy made his way to the food court in the Transportation center in downtown Boston. When Magnus called the day before, he told them to meet at Fadlan's Falafel.

Serena was wide awake and very cheerful. Hugging her stuffed seal tight to her chest.

Annabeth and Percy always made sure she had a toy inside the car, If not she'd cry all day like the time they went to the grocery store.

Once they arrived at Fadlan's Falafel, Percy parked the car as easy as pie. Then in unison, he and Annabeth looked behind to see their daughter better.

"Are you excited baby?" Annabeth asked, a smile playing on her lips.

Serena clapped her hands giggling, kicking her legs against the car seat. "Yeah! Yeah!" She cheered

The couple shared a look of amusement, unbuckling both of their seatbelts. Both of them got out of the car on each side, Serena waiting her turn.

Annabeth opened her car door and helped her with the seatbelt. Hoisting her up in her arms, Serena reached for her books.

"Mama books!" She said

Annabeth looked back at the car, "You could read that back home baby okay? Right now we are gonna meet your uncle Magnus. Interaction is the key" her mother explained

She pouted cutely but immediately brightened up when she thought about another thing. "Can I atleast bring my seal?"

Her father laughed beside her mom. "Of course baby girl" He tickled her nose, earning a sweet giggle from his little girl.

"I'll go get it right now"

"Sure thing"

Percy walked back to his BMW, unlocking it with his car keys. He went to the back seat, grabbing the white plush seal. Locking the car again, he made his way back to his wife and daughter.

He handed Serena her toy and she gladly took it with a small giggle. "Let's go?" He gestured towards the doors.

"Yup" Annabeth agreed and all together they walked right inside the entryway of Fadlan's Falafel. As they entered, Annabeth and Percy caught a sight of three familiar faces. Magnus, Alex, and Samirah. They seemed to be talking about dying in the fields of Valhalla.

"Magnus I came around at 10:00am and that was still early?" Samirah asked, a tone of disbelief in her voice. The three of them were seated in front of Fadlan's Falafel. "First of all, I was tired and sleeping is my way of relaxation. Besides, 14 hours of sleep isn't even enough! Second of all, yesterday I got burned from head to toe then got smashed by a boulder! Dying can really knock me off." He said and Alex snickered. "Sure does Maggie—" from behind them a voice said

"You could say that again Chase." Percy's deep voice called out from across the place.

On the table, Magnus smirked."Near death ordeals don't count Jackson" he and his friends stood up to greet them, turning around and he stopped short. The sight in front of him made his heart skip a beat. There beside Percy, was Annabeth. Holding a beautiful baby girl with long dark curls and stormy grey eyes. The girl clutched a white plush seal on her left arm while the other arm was wrapped around her mother's neck.

"Hey… I—uh— is this baby—?" He fumbled for words, a feeling of wide happiness spreading inside him. Annabeth nodded, a warm smile on her face.

"Meet our daughter, Magnus."

He and his friends slowly walked towards them, not wanting to scare the little baby who started hiding her face in her mother's neck. "It's okay sweetheart" Annabeth assured her daughter. "Can you say hi to Uncle Magnus, Aunt Alex and Aunt Samirah?"

Serena did a little wave. "Hi"

"Aren't you adorable…" Magnus tickled her small knee with a merry expression, earning a sweet giggle. "What's her name?" Asked Samirah softly from Magnus' side. She looked at the little girl fondly, perhaps wanting to have her own with Amir when she's older.

"Serena Angeline," Percy answered this time. Giving his daughter a loving look.

When the baby looked at Alex, she had to be honest. She felt herself go a little too soft inside. "She's so cute" Alex whispered, trying to go unheard but Magnus was the first to overhear. He snickered, wrapping an arm around his girlfriend (she's a she today), obviously taking the risk of Alex cutting his whole arm "Didn't know you went soft Fierro…"

She slapped him, hissing "Shut up Maggie!"

"Language Alex" Samirah scolded, gesturing there's a baby.

Alex mouthed a soft sorry and then smiled at the baby who returned the action.

"So… are we just gonna stand here? Or what?" Percy pointed out, sharing an amused look with Magnus. "Yeah yeah let's go sit down" he agreed

All 6 of them walked back to where Magnus, Alex and Sam were sitting. The Jackson's sat from across them. Serena in between her parents. "Who'd order the food?" Alex asked

"Me" Percy volunteered

"Me too" Magnus said and the boys left the table. Leaving the girls. "Okay so…let me be honest Annabeth but it is hard for me to believe you're a mom. I see you as a badass greek warrior not a gentle mother. " Alex told the young mom in amusement. Annabeth replied with a breezy laugh before saying, "I'm still a badass greek warrior just not when I'm with Serena"

"Does… does she know about—your world?" Samirah asked carefully

Annabeth nodded sadly "Yes she does...she was attacked by a clutter of spiders when she was sick one time. It scared her and Percy and I decided it was for the best. She deserves the truth after that experience."

Samirah and Alex nodded, sorry for the little girl but then laughed when Serena said proudly "I'm a legacy!"

Alex smirked, holding out her fist "Yeah you are" Serena obliged, bumping her fist with Alex. In a second, Magnus and Percy came back holding trays filled with food. Amir trailing right behind them, dragging a chair.

"You guys have fun without us?" Percy smiled, settling down beside Serena who clapped her hands in excitement. (She was excited to eat the food) "Not too much fun" Serena said to her dad. Amir positioned the chair in front of the table, sitting down. He gave a little wave to the little girl and soft smile playing on his lips "Hi.." he whispered

"Hello" she waved back cutely

"What's her name? She's adorable" he exclaimed

"Thank you.." Serena beamed, her dark curls bouncing. "I'm Serena"

"Hi Serena… you keeping mommy and daddy in check?" He patted her head and she giggled in response. "I'll take that as a yes"

"How are you, Magnus? Annabeth asked in all seriousness. "Many adventures going on, I suppose?"

Magnus nodded "yeah just came back from another one actually" he casually told her

"Oh really? That's cool… nothing too dangerous?"

"Nope" he smiled at her

"Okay.. just making sure"

"Annabeth, your maternal instincts are showing" Alex observed.

She laughed "It's quite natural nowadays"

Samirah nodded thrilled, perhaps excited at the thought she was going to have her own children someday. A young family like theirs with Amir. She would never admit it but she already thought of possible names. For a girl she would name her daughter Amira Ayesha. Meaning princess and the name Ayesha because of her mother. For a boy she would name her son Abdul Hakeem. Meaning a servant of Allah who helps people and is a pious servant of God. She must've been preoccupied because Alex needed to shake her out of her thoughts.

"Yo you alright?" Her sister asked, concerned.

She nodded, saying "never better" Then little Serena spoke all of a sudden. Speaking through a full mouth, she said

"Mommy says daddy has a lot of seaweed in his brain"

Percy choked on his Sandwich. Annabeth almost spit her diet coke but held herself for that would be a bad influence to her daughter. Amir and Sam were surprised, amused smiles on their faces while Alex and Magnus roared with laughter.

"Heck damn she is right! Seaweed brain"

"Annabeth!" Percy pouted

"What?" She said nonchalantly "I ain't lying" Then they all laughed as well.

***

"Goodbye Magnus! It was great to see you!" Annabeth smiles at him, carrying Serena with her right arm while she does her best to hug her cousin with her left. Percy shook his hand, giving him and Amir a man hug. Alex and Samirah bid their farewell to Serena who did not want to leave anymore.

"Momma I don't wanna leave…" she said, playing with her mom's hair

"We'll visit again baby. Okay? No need to get all sad…" she cooed softly

"Yeah that's right honey" Percy gently patted his daughter's back, calming her more "I think we'd be able to meet them again next month if Momma and Daddy isn't busy and Of course we need to consider Uncle Magnus' schedule" he explained to her. Serena stretched her small arms for Percy, wanting him to carry her. He gladly took her from Annabeth, who did not look too happy but nevertheless she smiled and turned toward Magnus. "You. Behave. Alex, Samirah?" she looked at them "Keep him in control would ya? This dork needs some discipline"

Alex saluted "You gotcha!"

Annabeth nodded, calm "Good bye now. Take care of yourselves"

"We will," Magnus smiled, waving farewell. The last he saw the Jacksons, their black BMW Ix turning the corner on North street, Percy singing along with One direction on the radio, Annabeth laughing at his bad voice, loud giggles of Serena heard from a mile away.

"As I said before, They'd cause a nuclear explosion of cuteness." Alex stated, crossing her arms.

"So what now…" Sam asked

"Last one back at Valhalla's a rotten egg" Magnus said hurriedly sprinting off to Forever 21's dressing room.

"Oh no you don't!" Alex yelled after him, trailing behind closely.

Samirah shook her head, crossing her arms "I work with children...Oh why..."

[irandrura]

Terra Ignota

Over the last few weeks, I read Terra Ignota. I read all of the three published books so far: Too Like the Lightning, Seven Surrenders, and The Will to Battle.

Every review of Terra Ignota I have ever read is wrong. Or rather, every review of Terra Ignota I have ever read takes an extremely different perspective to my own, to the extent that I genuinely don’t understand how the author could have concluded that.

So as not to keep anyone in suspense, my perspective on Terra Ignota is that they are surprisingly trashy books, in a world that doesn’t make very much sense, but that doesn’t matter because the heart and soul of these texts is over-the-top soap opera drama. I think they are probably bad, and they outright offended me at several points, but nonetheless they drew me in enough that I wanted to keep reading. There is merit in that.

 If you’re the sort of person who cares about spoilers, this is your only warning.

As I said, I don’t understand most of the reviews I have read of these books. I simply don’t.

 I don’t understand the view that the writing itself is poetic and beautiful. Palmer has some good phrases from time to time, but overall I don’t find the prose particularly amazing. This is a very subjective point, so I won’t belabour it.

 I don’t understand the view that the books are a masterful triumph of worldbuilding. From my perspective, the worldbuilding is actually kind of half-assed, and more importantly, Palmer does not seem to actually care about worldbuilding that much. It isn’t her priority. Reading the books I found myself constantly asking “How does X actually work?” or “Y sounds totally insane, could you explain how it makes sense to me?” or “Z seems like it clashes with X, please resolve this contradiction for me?”, and Palmer never answers those questions for you. If I want some more explanation for why, say, a global transportation system serving billions of people is run without oversight, from a single private residence, looked after by a man well-known to be suicidally depressed… nope, I’m not getting that. If I want some context for how hive-switching works, or how it interacts with crime, not happening. Even minor questions: in The Will to Battle, our heroes talk to a band of criminals involved in human trafficking, and I immediately wanted to know what human trafficking means in a world where borders have been abolished, geographic nations have been abolished, and every place on Earth is just a short taxi ride from every other place. This is the sort of question Palmer does not answer or even acknowledge.

 And I don’t actually buy that she’s interested in the questions that I see raised when the books are spruiked to me. Are you intrigued by the question of what the world would look like if every individual could choose their own government, their own law code, unconstrained by geography? I’m intrigued by that. It sounds interesting. But this is not a question that Terra Ignota is actually interested in. It seems like it should be interested in it, and I read enough breathless expositions of how cool the hive system is that I expected Terra Ignota to be interested in it… but it’s not. If you’re interested in, say, the question of whether a permanent exit option would make absolute dictatorship more humane, as in the Masons, then I agree that’s interesting – but it is not a question that the text of Terra Ignota takes any interest in. The big worldbuilding questions raised by the hives are all window dressing.

 I don’t understand the idea that Terra Ignota is a brilliant depiction of utopia. I want to acknowledge straight off the bat that I may have a bias here, because Terra Ignota’s world is premised on the, well, genocide of people like me, or at least the forcible suppression and exile of people like me, but I don’t think it’s only the fact that I’m openly in defiance of the First Black Law. Rather, I note two things here. Firstly, it’s hard to see whether Terra Ignota’s society is actually utopian because we spend so little time in it. We do not see how ordinary people live in this world, or what makes it wonderful. What Terra Ignota spends most of its time on is the scheming and backstabbing of the dozen most powerful people in the world, and everyone outside that little circle barely exists in the text. (Abigail Nussbaum noted in her review that Terra Ignota’s world never really feels like it has more than a few hundred people in it, and I agree.) It’s hard to convincingly argue Terra Ignota is a utopia or a dystopia, because we never meet the whole population. We meet a small handful of amoral nobility as they play out a space opera Game of Thrones. That’s certainly entertaining, and I give Palmer credit for making it fun to read, but it’s not really an investigation of utopia. Secondly, where we do see glimpses of the world outside the parlours of the ruthless rich, it…honestly seems rather conventional, and rather like the 21st century. People work fewer hours a week, taxis are much more efficient, movies have smelltracks as well as soundtracks, they go to the Olympics, apparently the Oscars endured the collapse of all nations and religions… but there is little in this world that seems radically different to our own. It’s all minor, incremental bits of technological progress. They’ve eliminated poverty, which is good, but I usually expect something more radical from utopia than that. What do people actually do in Terra Ignota that’s different to what any upper-middle class American might do today? Other, of course, than not go to church, call everyone singular they, and wear tracking devices.

 I don’t understand the idea that these books deal with deep philosophical or theological themes. Like the hives themselves, it’s all window dressing. The narrator Mycroft is obsessed with the 18th century, and so is a bizarre anachronistic brothel that somehow every major world leader attends (cf. worldbuilding being weak, the world only feeling like it has a few hundred people in it), but they don’t do very much with this. Mycroft imagines Thomas Hobbes occasionally butting in, but his imaginary Hobbes has little to say beyond "Hi, I’m the guy who wrote Leviathan!” The characters reference Diderot and de Sade and Voltaire, but usually only on the surface level, and when they do try to go deeper, they often get the references wrong. The same for the theology. My point is not that Terra Ignota is bad: just that it isn’t really that interested in the political philosophy or the theology. It uses 18th century thought as an aesthetic. Deism, miracles, proof of God’s existence, how gods might communicate, etc., are not the questions that occupy the text. Ada Palmer is not a theologian.

 But all that said, I enjoyed Terra Ignota.

 I want to emphasise that. I enjoyed Terra Ignota! I am not saying that it’s bad! I’m just saying that it was not what everyone told me it would be.

 Terra Ignota is a book about a bunch of very powerful, very horrible people, who all apparently go to the same brothel and are interested in the same wacky theories about human nature and God and so on, lying to and betraying each other. I think Palmer is really interested in the characters. Mycroft, our pretentious narrator who by the end of book three is genuinely losing his grip on reality and writing hallucinations. Jedd Mason, the madman who believes he’s God, but is probably just the delusional product of a radical set-set experiment. Caesar, the iron-proud absolute dictator seeking to do his duty by his ambitious, power-obsessed hive. Dominic, the sadistic sexual predator who nonetheless worships Jedd with fanatical devotion. Carlyle, the kind and compassionate philosopher-in-residence who inevitably gets tortured and abused. Ojiro Sniper, the freaky sex doll who nonetheless seeks to become the Brutus to Jedd’s Caesar. Apollo Mojave, the dead-but-still-influential space wizard who sought to cause a world war for stupid reasons. And so on. The characters are generally well-drawn and interesting enough that I want to see what happens to them.

 I should emphasise Palmer’s achievement in making me want to know what happens to these people, especially because they’re all so unsympathetic. Carlyle and Bridger stand out as the most truly sympathetic characters in the novels, but by book three, the former has been captured, tortured, and now limps along, dead-eyed and broken-spirited, in the train of one of the resident sadists, and the latter has quite reasonably gone “Screw this” and used his immense psychic powers to delete himself from the book. But most of the core characters in this drama – Mycroft, Saladin, Jedd, Sniper, Ganymede and Danae, Madame d’Arouet, etc. – are mad, evil, both, or otherwise extremely unsympathetic. It is to Palmer’s credit that I want to know what happens in the war anyway. The most sympathetic of the political leaders in the text, Vivien Ancelet and Bryar Kosala, spend most of their time fruitlessly begging for peace. While they, perhaps alone of the leaders, have genuinely laudable intentions, it has been clear from the first book that neither will be permitted to achieve anything notable. The only people to barrack for, in Terra Ignota, are those noble if compromised few who seek to avoid a war – and who we all know will fail.

 Book four, it seems, will finally be about the war that the first three books have been setting up, and even though I frankly want all three sides to lose – the Jedd faction, the Sniper faction, and Utopia are all deeply unpleasant, albeit in different ways – I am sure I will find it extremely entertaining to see how this all collapses.

 Do I recommend Terra Ignota? I don’t know. If you want detailed, thorough worldbuilding, sincere contemplation of deep philosophical questions about theodicy, politics, and human nature, or a stirring vision of a possible utopia… no. Do not read it for those things. It does not have those things in it.

 But it does have a scene where the prime minister of Europe body-tackles the Olympic president through a plate glass window and they land in a pile of people having sex mid-orgy, while the media broadcasts it worldwide.

 And that’s excellent.

[love-takes-work]

Ace/Aro Amethyst headcanons

Some people headcanon Amethyst as asexual and/or aromantic. I think that's pretty cool.

Unfortunately, some people are really hostile to this idea. Sometimes in a way that's problematic.

No, I'm not going to tell you you have to headcanon Amethyst as asexual and aromantic or else you're an acephobe. That's silly. Here's the problem: I recently came across a post on Reddit where a member of the Steven Universe subreddit demanded to know where the "stupid" headcanon of ace Amethyst came from and opined that it's ridiculous because that orientation does not "fit her personality."

Think about that for a sec, y'all.

Sexualities don't have personalities. This is a problem.

If you follow some of the interviews Rebecca Sugar has done over the years, especially lately, she sometimes talks about her growth toward understanding herself as bisexual and why it took her so long to figure it out. It was partly because media representation of characters follows a certain system, and as a result she'd been led to believe bisexual people were aggressively sexual, greedy, unfaithful, and extremely desirous of attention.

"I didn't know you could be a SHY bisexual," she said, and you can hear the wonder in her voice at that idea.

So let's really consider that, please. Any orientation can have any type of personality. And if you pigeonhole someone into what their orientation is likely to be because of how you interpret their personality and what messages you've internalized about what traits go with the way they are, you are probably contributing to this damaging message.

Moving on: full disclosure. I'm an asexual Steven Universe fan. I'm also aromantic. And anybody who says asexual people wouldn't have a personality like Amethyst has probably never hung out in a room full of asexual people. (Uh, I have.) 

There are shy people in the groups. There are conservative people in the groups. There are easily offended and sensitive people in the groups. But you will also find bawdy asexual people cracking gross jokes, asexual people who nevertheless turn everything into a sex joke, asexual people who are sex positive and even occasionally promiscuous or interested in sex. (If you don't understand how that's not a contradiction, I'll just leave you on your own to read some asexual education, because I'm not actually trying to go there with this post.)

Personally, I was raised by a rather crass mom whose sense of humor led her to blurt "IS IT A PENIS? BWAHAHAHA!" at the start of every round of Pictionary. She taught her daughters sex education early because she wanted us to know the facts, and though she joked about sex a lot, she also made it very clear that she expected us to make sex a part of our lives when we were older, and didn’t want us to think it was shameful or should be hidden. She gave us access to birth control in our mid teens and made sure we had the resources to make good choices about sex. It wasn't embarrassing or weird in our house. And even though I turned out ace, my siblings are straight and married. I grew up making ridiculous sex jokes and not being at all shocked by sexual humor or sexual situations. It was all just a good time and an accepting atmosphere. It was also okay that I didn't desire it myself. It didn't mean I couldn't dish out the innuendo with the best of them.

And yet, sometimes when I've come out as ace to someone and then they notice I use swear words, or am not horrified into covering my face during the movie's kissing scene, or have done things they really don't expect asexual people to enjoy, I'm treated to this weird mixture of shock-and-mock:

"Whaaaaat? Aren't you too PURE to use language like that, young lady?" "Plug your virgin ears, girl, we're talking about ADULT THINGS." "Don't worry, I won't mention S-E-X. LOL triggered." "She wouldn't be interested. It's about relationships and she thinks that's ICKY." "GASP! You just used the F word! Wait isn't that ironic?"

No, having a vocabulary that includes vulgarities and being tolerant of other people's desires is not inconsistent with being asexual. Being asexual means I don't feel sexually attracted to other people. It says absolutely zero about my behavior, and nothing I do is "wrong" behavior for an asexual person, because I am doing it.

Back to Amethyst.

Asexuality is a dicey issue for discussing Gems because technically they're all asexual. They are not a sexually reproducing species, so there really shouldn't be any reason for them to desire each other sexually. But they do seem to want intimacy and closeness in some situations, and there's definitely romantic attraction between some of them. It's sometimes hard to tell whether "sex" would be a concept available to them (besides Gems who shapeshift to mimic how humans do it), because it is after all a family show and sometimes you have to wonder if the relative chastity of some of the romantic scenes is due to the intended audience.

Amethyst has been more than once described by Rebecca Sugar as Dionysian. She was set up as an opposite to Pearl's Apollonian nature. If you don't know, Apollo vs. Dionysus is a concept of Greek origin that's often used in literature to set characters at odds with each other. Apollo is everything Pearl is: rational, clean, proper, perfect. Dionysus instead embraces the mess, just like Amethyst: Dionysian characters are sloppy, unruly, chaotic, and (this is important) hedonistic. They do what feels good.

Given this, I understand the root of why some people feel asexuality and Amethyst wouldn't go together well. And all things considered, it's true: Amethyst seems, to me, like the kind of Gem who would try anything, especially if other people seemed to enjoy it and especially if abstaining is portrayed as prudent and restrained. She's a let-it-loose kind of character. It's hard to imagine someone like her, who loves to eat, sleep, hoard, and be lazy, wouldn't have tried a few rolls in the hay, right?

Well, sure. Maybe.

And yet we've seen no specific evidence of it.

She could choose any form but she's never seen trying to change herself to look sexy; she's displayed no particular intimate or romantic interest in anyone beyond casual physicality and warmth; she's the only main-four Crystal Gem who hasn't been pursued romantically by a human; she's a little insecure and seems to crave attention sometimes but never spins it as a need to be fulfilled by romantic attention; she never expresses that she wishes she was someone's partner. Who knows? Maybe she's tried it out, found nothing she liked, said "Eh," and decided it's not her bag.

Hedonism is about embracing what feels good. If those kinds of relationships just didn’t feel good for her, I could see her just deciding they were boring and still fully embracing her other Dionysian qualities. She can indulge in naps and eat all the food in the fridge and hoard all the garbage she wants . . . without that indicating she must also possess and pursue amorous relations.

There’s also the fact that a minority of asexual people are like “eh, screw it, I’ll try it,” and don’t find sex completely objectionable or might even like it. (Not all, not most, not me, but this does exist.) They still may not desire it the way non-asexual people do, or may experience no attraction despite having neutral or positive feelings about the act itself. Who knows? Amethyst could be like that. We’ve seen her eat food that she doesn’t even like, just ‘cause it’s there. Some people take or leave sex like that.

And if you say her "type" necessarily incorporates promiscuity or a large sexual appetite, or you say she couldn't be ace because she's not uptight and strait laced, you're buying right into the damaging stereotypes about asexual people.

It's certainly not acephobic to headcanon Amethyst as bisexual or pansexual or lesbian or whatever you want. And it's fine if you believe the closeness she’s displayed with others that I interpret as friendship or non-romantic intimacy is actually a different flavor. What's NOT fine is saying Amethyst CANNOT be asexual or aromantic because of weird beliefs you have about what ace/aro people would be like.

Further, asexual people unfortunately don't have that much representation, and usually we're reduced to embracing absence as evidence. If a character isn't shown to "like" anyone that way, whoa, they might be ace! It's so very rare that a character does actively say or do something that indicates their lack of attraction. We often have to see ourselves in the "not yet" if we want any representation at all, running the risk of having our headcanons smashed as soon as a writer decides a certain type of attraction in a relationship will make that character interesting. But at least we're in the same boat as every other fan there. What we want to happen isn't necessarily what will happen.

And for those who think Amethyst might be ace and/or aro, she's such a great example of someone who isn't defined by the overly cautious, conservative germophobe who's obsessed with logic and conflates their abstention with purity and righteousness. I get really tired of asexuality being tied in with those traits because non-ace writers can't imagine ace people without sucking fun and flexibility out of their souls. (And on the flip side, isn't it wonderful to have the logical, organized, clean, perfect character be a giant lesbian? This is one box queer women rarely see themselves put in, but I know they're out there. I'm friends with a few.)

As for me, do I headcanon Amethyst as asexual or aromantic? Honestly, I am not very invested in this theory. 

I can see it and I could support it in a debate if someone asked me to. But I think Amethyst could turn out to be anything; really, the most likely thing for her to be is fluid. I think she's cute with Pearl sometimes, though Pearl having a mom vibe and being so much older and having other attractions does give me pause. I think the idea of her with Peridot or Vidalia is interesting, though Peridot more than Amethyst reads as possibly ace and there's more built up between her and Lapis now. I could even see her with another tertiary character someday; I wouldn't bat an eye.

But Amethyst as ace and/or aro would also make complete sense to me and might even fit best with her livin' free and unbound attitude, and when you look at the asexual flag, Amethyst is certainly dressed for it.

[roboyomo]

17. 18 for the ocs ask game NYEOW. Idc which oc. Whoever u made suffer most. I wanna see how much of a sadist u are lh

AUGYQJEH okay this is. A tough one. There are many options for this so i'm just gonna do all of them 4. (yaku, amor, apollo and kenix)

17. What is the worst thing you have put your OC through story-wise?

Okay so let me go down the list for each of them:

Yaku: The loss of literally everything that was left of his life. His only family and friends now gome without a trace. Which is the fuckng reason this guy started the 13,000+ years long timeloop in an attempt to save them and "build the paradise where they will live together" (<- paradise lost whitenight referenc— [gets shot] )

Amor: The loss of everything he had worked so hard for to show that he did care about other people. Now reduced to an aggressive husk of a man, bitter at the fact that he has been turned into one of the corporation's "best employees". Which just means that the higher-ups managed to dehumanize him to the point of turning him into an actual monstrous being to some degree. Yes Kenix had something to do with this.

Apollo: The fact that not only has he lost his family once. But Twice. Now by his own hands technically. Forced into this mess while being in the most vulnerable state. Having to endlessly wail in guilt and putting on an act to try to not let others down, even in these circumstances. Now also becoming of the corporation's "best employees" like Amor. The both of them who were once so ambitious about bringinf prosperity to others, now reduced to nothing but replaceable expendables who have lost others and cannot affort to lose each other now. Yes Kenix was also involved in this somehow

Kenix: There is actually so much that i don't know which one is the worst. Which says something. One of the things I would consider being that would probably be how he lost some of his only ever friends and companions. Azrael, the man who has managed to show him that even someone like Kenix can be loved? Gone with only one of the only things left behind. His friends? His adopted daughter who has only managed to overcome her troubles? All gone. Lost to fate itself. Even if he has managed to move on, each timeloop he had to go through has only made it more painful. The fact that he knew how the day would come around eventually. A painfull reminder that this is the only possible way he can still talk to his only close companions. Resulting in the same familiar isolation he once felt when he was still in that household. Deciding that he could never love someone as dearly as them and Azrael in specific ever again. No, that'd be like a betrayal in his eyes.

18. Is your OC more cold and detached or up close and personal?

oughhffhfhs. Okay taking yaku for this one. During the entire first story arc he is very much up close and personal, almost too clingy. But for the second arc, he has learnt his lesson the hard way which only lead to him becoming cold and detached almost fully. He doesn't wanna make the mistake of getting heavily attached to others he depended on again.

[fromtheringapron]

WWE SummerSlam 2016

Date: August 21, 2016.

Location: The Barclay Center in Brooklyn, New York. 

Attendance: 15,974

Commentary: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, and Corey Graves (Raw). Mauro Renallo, John “Bradshaw” Layfield, and David Otunga (SmackDown). 

Results: 

Kickoff Match: The Usos (Jimmy and Jey), The Hype Bros (Mojo Rawley and Zack Ryder), and American Alpha (Chad Gable and Jason Jordan) defeated Breezango (Fandango and Tyler Breeze), The Ascension (Konnor and Viktor), and The Vaudevillains (Simon Gotch and Aiden English. 

Kickoff Match: Sami Zayn and Neville defeated The Dudley Boyz (Bubba Ray and D-Von). 

Kickoff Match, First in a Best of Seven Series: Sheamus defeated Cesaro. 

1. Chris Jericho and Kevin Owens defeated Enzo Amore and Big Cass. 

2. Raw Women’s Championship Match: Charlotte defeated Sasha Banks (champion) to win the title. 

3. Intercontinental Championship Match: The Miz (champion) (with Maryse) defeated Apollo Crews. 

4. AJ Styles defeated John Cena. 

5. WWE Tag Team Championship Match: Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson defeated The New Day (Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods) (champions) via disqualification.

6. WWE Championship Match: Dean Ambrose (champion) defeated Dolph Ziggler. 

7. Nikki Bella, Natalya, and Alexa Bliss defeated Naomi, Carmella, and Becky Lynch. 

8. WWE Universal Championship Match: Finn Balor defeated Seth Rollins to become the inaugural champion. 

9. Brock Lesnar (with Paul Heyman) defeated Randy Orton via knockout. 

My Review

SummerSlam 2016 is one long ass show. I’m aware that’s a bit of a redundant statement because, in the age of the WWE Network, every show is long and, more often than not, they’re also ass. However, the point still stands: this show is a whopping 4 hours and it’s not something you can digest in one sitting on a rewatch. For the record, I totally support making the SummerSlams and Survivor Series and so on seem just as big and important as WrestleMania. It’s fine by me for WWE’s Big 4 to feature absolutely stacked cards. Unfortunately, in modern WWE, this approach also results in the shows running out of gas midway through and some of the matches going on way longer than they should. The 2016 edition of the summer classic isn’t exactly the worst example of this trend, but it definitely shows similar signs of fatigue.

On top of that, it’s such a heel-dominated show. It’s only occasionally satisfying. In their crusade to make the audience finally embrace Roman Reigns, the WWE would pile on the heel victories in hopes the crowd would pop like crazy once the Big Dog got the W in the main event. It’s inherently flawed psychology to think the crowd is just going to accept a long-awaited face win from just anybody. That can really only work in a particular situation. Needless to say, it often failed because while Roman would get the W, the crowd still hated him. Worse here is that he doesn’t even wrestle on this show. So who was this booking supposed to benefit? I guess you could make the argument for Finn Balor, whose Universal title win remains a highlight of his WWE tenure. Even then, it was rendered irrelevant 24 hours later, as Balor would vacate the title due to injury.

With all that in mind, it shouldn’t be surprising that such a heel-heavy show ends on a rather depressing note. Brock Lesnar pummels Randy Orton into a bloody mess and that’s it. That’s the show. Fade to black. It would’ve been fine if placed somewhere in the middle of the card, but it’s such an awkward way to close up shop. They did have a pretty workable story going into the match, and I’m not gonna pass up the rare occasion to see Orton get beaten into oblivion, but talk about deflating. The whole thing winds up looking like a pale imitation of Lesnar’s squash of John Cena back at SummerSlam 2014. Oh, and there’s some drama with Shane McMahon at the end because, as we all know, that’s exactly what the WWE needs: more McMahon family drama!

The far more successful dream match is John Cena vs AJ Styles. Truly something special. It’s essentially the same finishing move and near-fall spam fest that plagues every major WWE main event, but I don’t mind it here. This is meant to be an epic blockbuster between two of the biggest stars in wrestling of the post-Monday Night War era. It makes perfect sense for both guys to throw all of their deadliest ammunition at each other right out of the gate. Styles was in the midst of one of the hottest stretches of his career at this point, but Cena deserves just as much credit here. It’s kind of amazing. For all the times he’s proven that he can rise to the occasion in a big match situation, there are still anti-Cena bros to this day who’ll deny it every step of the way. His record of putting people over isn’t perfect, especially at SummerSlam, but what he does for AJ here is pretty selfless. I don’t think even his haters can deny that.

Overall, SummerSlam 2016 isn’t a bad show by any means but, again, the length ensures it will inevitably start to drag. A shame, because there’s probably a pretty good show somewhere in here. It’s nice that the WWE is trying to make the biggest party of the summer feel important, but too much partying can make even the most diehard fan eventually feel pooped. 

My Random Notes

I can only imagine what someone like Jon Stewart really thinks of WWE’s comedy. I mean, he’s probably had plenty of experience doing his best with bad material, but you’d have to think he had to grin and bear it here at several points.

In light of Sasha Banks’ recent spat with the company, I can really see why she’d be frustrated with her booking. Would it have killed them to have her hold the Women’s title for longer than a month? I know an injury is cited as the official reason she dropped the belt here, but it’s still the first of several instances of them yanking the rug out from under her.

Man, Enzo and Cass were so frickin’ over. They’re such laughing stocks now that it’s quickly become lost to time how much the fans were digging them. Of course, they only have themselves to blame for fucking it all up, but they really did have something special there for a bit. 

Dean Ambrose in his black torn shirt gives me some serious Bobby Heenan singlet vibes.

Funny how the pre-match hype package for Dean vs. Dolph centers so much around who Dolph Ziggler is because, as I’ve stated here previously, I still have no frickin’ idea who Dolph is supposed to be. He’s some anonymous hybrid of HBK, Mr. Perfect, Billy Gunn, and an ‘80s Trapper Keeper with literally no individuality. I find it ironic that he later got into a storyline where he kept changing gimmicks only to never find anything of his own. What a summary of his entire WWE career.

Hey, Balor may have had to surrender the title 24 hours later, but at least this meant him getting another run with the belt in the future, right? Right?!?

Man, Nikki Bella was so frickin’ over. Why does it feel like I’m repeating myself? In all seriousness though, people can hate on the Bellas all they want, but in no way should it be surprising that they still get big pops. They’ve done more for WWE’s mainstream visibility than a lot of other superstars allegedly have.

Speaking of Nikki, crazy to think that she’s only one in the six-woman tag to not hold the Smackdown Women’s title.

I can’t be the only one who felt a little kick to gut when they showed fans waiting outside the now-deceased Toys R Us. I don’t need another reminder that my childhood is dead.

When did Lana drop the accent? I don’t watch Raw and Smackdown weekly anymore, but it horrifies me to know I let this travesty pass me by.

I know some people were upset they allowed The New Day to surpass Demolition’s record for the longest reign as tag champs but I’m totally okay with the decision. Sure, they occasionally get into terrible storylines like this ringpostitis shit, but they’re incredibly over, sell a ton of merchandise, and can wring out some entertainment from even the worst material. If they really wanted to insult Demolition, they should’ve given that honor to The Ascension.

[artemisyaxley]

❝ I was a living star. I was combustion. I was a new sun born to shatter air and eat the earth. I am ruination.❞

 KARLA SOUZA? No, that’s actually ARTEMIS YAXLEY. Only TWENTY-SIX years old, this RAVENCLAW alumni works as an UNSPEAKABLE and is sided with THE DEATH EATERS. SHE/THEY identifies as AGENDER and is a PUREBLOOD who is known to be DISTANT, CRYPTIC, and AMORAL but also MACHIAVELLIAN, CURIOUS, and KNOWLEDGEABLE. 

CHARACTER PARALLELS: Sherlock Holmes ( Book & Elementary TV Series ),Natasha Romanoff ( Marvel Comics ), Rosa Diaz ( Brooklyn 99 ),  Alice Quinn & Julia Wicker ( The Magicians )

TRIGGERS: slight misgendering. if i missed some, please let me know!

The Yaxley’s are a  notable family within the Sacred 28 -- a legacy only strengthened by Corban Yaxley during the First and Second Wizarding Wars. Akin to Death Eater royalty, the family has been paying their dues and been loyal to the Dark Lord, blood purism & the power within society it rendered for as long as time has stood. The standard was perfection, the game was simple: stay loyal, stay powerful. Artemis knew from a young age what was and wasn’t expected of her and she played the role of dutiful daughter perfectly. The matriarchs were given just as much responsibility as their patriarch counterpart, if anything, Artemis had less room for indiscretions than her brother -- because he was the one who asked questions. She had them, but she never asked them -- Apollo always did. Always pushing the envelope, always pushing boundaries until he was old enough to properly break them, Artemis continuously picked up the slack.  She compensated for his lack of respect because her brother Apollo was her sun, her best friend, the person she entered the world with, because he loved her and knew her better than anyone else. The game of chess came easy to her because she’d been playing one her whole life, every move several steps ahead, every loss calculated, backup plans to backup plans made. 

As a child she was always fascinated with things far away, things she couldn’t touch because although the environment she grew up in was not bad by any means -- it was stifling. The stars were her escape, they alerted her to a different world, the great what if, cultivating a deep love for astronomy and muggle philosophers -- anything she could get her hands on. Apollo always pushed her to keep going, to keep learning, her family encouraged her to live inside their world while he told her she could do more. Book upon book was stashed in secret locations around their manor. The Yaxley’s were livid when they caught Apollo encouraging Artemis’ fantasies ( what they called them ), even more livid that Artemis let them. In turn, they became better at hiding, better at sneaking, just better at deceiving their parents. As they grew older and Apollo became more vocal, Artemis knew that if the path he went on was going to continue to be against what their family stood for -- he’d be quietly disowned or worse. 

Entering school was an escape, another chess board and a place where Artemis was finally able to properly nurture and challenge her mind. Ravenclaw was the perfect house for her, talking in riddles herself when she could for the thrill of it ( how else would she separate those worthy of her time and not? ), lies rolled off her tongue easier than ever as the person who walked barefoot around the Astronomy Tower at night and wore heels to societal functions by day had to learn to reconcile who she was while at school. Faced with more people, new people, curiosity and the pursuit for intelligence, her mind expand and she loved it. Artemis tried to be even more for her family, while Wesley Rowle was already a close friend ( more than close, a mindmate ) of Artemis’ & someone she’s happy to spend her life with, their betrothal was an extremely advantageous affair for the both of their families. In her last year of school, Artemis hoped that Apollo would shape up and that her betrothal, her doing everything she possibly could to take the pressure off of him, would help him to be able to finally take his role as who he was in the Yaxley family -- he left. Of course, Artemis forgave her brother because she understood his motives and she loved him very very much but her family recoiled from the loss and put more pressure than ever on Artemis to succeed. Succeed she did. She was so good at the game it felt like she was meant for it. 

Naturally, her love for knowledge propelled her into becoming an UNSPEAKABLE and it’s probably one of the aspects of her life she enjoyed most. Still one to talk in riddles to see who keeps up with her, almost everything she does in that sense – confusing & frustrating – is a defense mechanism. Her observant nature means she notices everything, although she doesn’t always understand it ( especially Muggle culture ) she’s always interested. Though she often seems to be neutral in demeanor, she never is in mindset, be sure to know that Artemis is watching you, observing you, collecting data to use against you as well as she doesn’t understand people as much as her brother did. Definitely the more sociable and pleasant of the two, Apollo had a gift with people and was always just kinder, more open than she could ever be. His gift was his heart that hers, though it’s her most prized possession that she felt was a curse at times, was her mind.

She was given a choice when the war started again --  become a monster or let the person she loved most die. Was a monster still a monster if they had valid and noble reason for it? Are they still a monster if they don’t believe in the monstrous acts they’re about to commit? ( Always. A monster is a monster the minute they choose to shed their human skin and bear the monstrosities as their own. ) 

There was once a girl who believed in the stars never once thinking she’d be the one to shoot them dead. Unlike the way stars have to collapse into themselves – she always had a choice. Neutrality was just as bad as the Death Eaters in Artemis’ eyes, a person who usually lived in the grey was black and white about this one thing. If she was going to commit such sins, if she was going to sell her soul to the cause, she was going to be extraordinarily bad. She was going to become a monster to live with being a monster her girlhood wrung out like a death, the girl who looked at stars and wondered about them, starting pinning them down, to dissect, study, keep them for herself. Artemis is smarter than to believe she is a god, to believe she, Wes & her family are invincible because power shifts all the time -- what’s to say they won’t be next to be thrown under the guillotine?

 She is the member of the family who helps them plan, strategize, how to collect power and keep it. Many other Yaxley family members in higher up positions, littered throughout the Ministry, she played her part in writing them in the stars so their legacy could last millions of years before burning out. It wasn’t that she wanted power, not really not for herself, but Artemis needed to play a part to convince even herself that her life on a day to day basis had significance. For a person who could be described as machiavellian, Artemis’ finds this acquisition of power to be more of a requirement than a personal necessity, the lack of freedom would be remedied and easier to deal with, the deaths, the murder, the destruction, the endless chess game of life, would mean something if Apollo was still alive & well -- wouldn’t it? It would. The further down the rabbit hole Artemis went, the more she found herself enthralled with a game that is a merely a distraction, her humanity straying further away from her as finds ways to give into her life. 

There are days she finds herself, looking at the stars, thinking of another universe where she’d never have to make the choices she did, where she sees infinite possibilities, the outcomes of who she could’ve been. There was a time where Artemis found herself among the stars, where she saw herself as one, so distant from everyone around her but content, anciently bursting with life, even if dimly lit, collapsing into her own mind, only to become something anew as more knowledge fed her light. The girl she once was had disappeared, had been shut away, the light in herself something she was unable to find replaced by a gift to be terrible, her goodness caved into itself revealing something dark. The light had always been Apollo’s speciality, she only took it from him, she only consumed -- even from the person she loved most. The more she looked up at them now, the more she consumed of people, situations, things, the more it hit her. Was she ever like them, really? Artemis was always more black hole than wishing star. Had she really ever had a chance to be anything else?

RANDOM NOTE ( tw: slight misgendering ): As a writer I think there’s an interesting thing in how Artemis’ gender presents itself in relation to her familial background -- she’s seen as a woman by her family but she’s aware and the people closest to her are aware that she’s agender. She’s felt a connection to the power that being a patriarch & matriarch in the Yaxley family has, but she’s never identified herself with it. In fact, gender has never been something she’s connected to as a concept or a thing for herself. Artemis is very interested in gender theory and the like but due to her life, has not let herself delve into it further than to explain who she was to herself and to understand who she was for herself. 

[recentanimenews]

Archers In the Fate Universe Who ACTUALLY Use Bows

Happy Archery Day, everybody! The second Saturday of May is reserved for one of the oldest sports in existence. Bows have been used as weapons since as early as the Paleolithic era, replacing supplementing and eventually replacing spear-throwing entirely. Large parts of armies were often dedicated to archers, and the development of skilled archers on horeseback helped armies successfully conquer much of Europe. Eventually, archery fell by the wayside as the creation of firearms left the practice largely outdated. However, it's still practiced mainly as a sport to this day. It's also the only sport recognized as its own class in the Fate franchise: Archer! But why do we lambast this as the class that is so often not about its namesake?

      That's exactly what I'm here for. Here's every single Archer-class servant that prominently uses a bow, and why exactly they use it, because no one asked!

Archer

    The original, who can forget, Unless, of course, you haven't seen Fate/Stay Night: Unlimited Blade Works, which I won't spoil for you here (but you should totally watch it). Although his main weapons are a pair of blades, he does use a general bow that is capable of handling Noble Phantasm-tier weapons, though he more often uses regular arrows to preserve magical energy. He also has the ability to land blows as accurately as four kilometers away, as well as hit two targets with a single arrow. She's not listed here, but Chloe von Einzbern inherits Archer's skills and is in the Archer class for that reason. As for why he's connected to archery, you're just gonna have to watch the show to find out!

  Atalanta

This is where things start getting complicated. There was a man named King Oeneus who forgot to offer a sacrifice to Artemis; reasonably, Artemis responded by sending a rampaging boar to destroy his land and people. Atalanta was among those who stopped that boar, and Artemis recognized her. In Fate lore, she eventually grants her the bow Tauropolos, a reference to how Artemis herself is revered as "Artemis Tauropolos" or "hunting bull goddess."

Also, there was once a woman named Niobe, daughter of Tantalus, who had such high fertility she bragged about it to the being Leto. Leto, in return, sent her children Apollo and Artems to kill Niobe's children. Atalanta is, however, a character representitive of purity, and in Fate lore she has an inclination against the mistreatment of kids, so her Noble Phantasm here is very relevant. She fires two arrows into the air—both complaint letters to Artemis and Apollo for their treatment of children in general, with a request for protection in return. Their answer is to grant that request with a payment of calamity in return, but it works out; said calamity is a torrent of arrows upon Atalanta's enemies.

  Euryale

This one was hard. She clearly uses a bow and arrow in all of her animations in Fate/Grand Order, but there is extremely thin reasoning for that. Even worse, why does her Noble Phantasm seemingly require her to pierce you with her arrow to paralyze you when she is one of the Gorgon sisters? Here's the complicated answer. In the first Fate/Grand Order material book, Medusa is quoted describing Euryale's Noble Phantasm with "Isn't that Cupid's..."! Now, we all know Cupid as the cherub who ignites our love with arrows, so maybe we can stop there. Arrows, infatuation, it explains everything! Right? Wrong! If we dig deeper, "Cupid" comes from the Latin word "cupido", which means a focus on intense desire. In the Augustan epic "Aeneid," there is a couple named Nisus and Euryalus who are so in love that's the whole point of their story. In one instance, Nisus thinks to himself, "Euryale, an sua cuique deus fit dira cupido?" or in English, "Is it the gods who put passion in men's mind, Euryalus, or does each person's fierce desire become his own God?" Now, putting aside how deep and interesting Nisus' question is, the connection between Cupid and Euryale here seems impossible to ignore, especially considering there is really no other reason to connect Euryale to bows and arrows.

  Arash

  In Fate/Grand Order, Arash is known as one of the most powerful and useful servants of all despite his low rarity. This is reflected in his legend. In Iranian mythology, the war between the Iranians and Turanians is ended with an agreement that the shot of a bow would determine what land would be returned to Iran. Spenta Armaiti, an Amesha Spenta, tells the ruler Manuchehr to create a special bow and arrow, which Arash then fires, landing in a variety of extreme distances depending on the source referenced. Arash's own fate also varies, either being destroyed by the shot or spending the rest of his life a respected commander. In Fate, his range is 2500 kilometers, but his destiny is certain death, with the result of one of the strongest Noble Phantasms of all. Because of Armaiti's order, Arash as a servant is capable of forming a bow out of various materials, and arrows just out of magic, so he is combat capable in most situations. He is also praised for his general usage of the bow by Arthur Pendragon himself, comparing Arash to his own knight Tristan who could not miss a shot.

  Orion

Orion is a womanizing huntsman from Greek mythology, originally appearing in the Odyssey, and perhaps most famous now for his winter contellation. However, none of this is particularly relevant, because when he is summoned as an Archer in the Grand Order, his summoning is interrupted by the Moon Goddess Artemis, who ends up doing most of the fighting, while Orion himself has somehow become a small bear. In their stories, Artemis fell in love with the handsome Orion, who did not return her feelings. Despite being rejected, Artemis' brother Apollo disapproved of the rumors of their relationship, and tricked Artemis into shooting Orion down, which is when he died and became a constellation. This part seems to be where Artemis' use of a bow as a Servant is most directly inspired, including her Noble Phantasm Tri-Star Amore Mio, in which she fires her bow powered entirely by her love for Orion.

Arjuna

  As you might suspect so far, there are few who are simply archers with little fanfare. Arjuna may have a lot of magical baggage—probably more than everyone listed so far combined—but his bow is surprisingly simple. He received his Gandiva from the fire God Agni in the epic of Mahabharata purely for his natural skills, and he uses it well. Does that mean it has no special powers? Of course not; being from Agni himself, it features flaming arrows. Arjuna can also, naturally, fire them as if they were homing missiles, because he's Arjuna, and Arjuna is awesome. But otherwise, he is a relatively normal archer.

  Tristan

  I doubted including Tristan. He uses a bow, also his Noble Phantasm, the aptly named Failnaught. In many circles, his bow is known as "Fail-Not." As you might imagine, it doesn't fail, meaning that it always hits its target. However, there isn't as much information about it compared to many other parts of Arthurian legend. Tristan doesn't even have to fire actual weapons; his bow is more like a harp, and the sound he makes with it are the weapons it fires. I included him because he is who Arthur directly compares Arash (an actual archer) to, and I'm sure someone would call me out because his harp-thing is also technically a bow.

  Tawara Touta

  I love this big rice boy, but he also has little reason being an archer. Tawara is a kind soldier that uses a golden sword passed down to him from his ancestor Fujiwara no Kamatari, so perhaps he could also be summoned as a Saber. He's included because he used a bow to kill a huge centipede on Mount Mikami, as directed by a dragon god. His Noble Phantasm, Hachiman Prayer, invokes the dragon god from that event as he fires his arrow as he did that day. He also uses his bow for some command cards, so I'm glad they didn't just ignore his class to fit in rice man.

  Ishtar

  The farther we get through this, the less "archer" seems to mean. In the Fate universe, Ishtar rides her Boat of Heaven, which is extremely relevant to her role as the goddess of Heaven as opposed to Ereshikal's opposite role. However, Ishtar is also an archer only because she uses the boat itself as a bow to fire the literal concept of Venus at her enemies. This is made most clear in her Noble Phantasm, An Gal Tā Kigal Shē. This attack references the time Ishtar climbed the Sacred Mountain Ebih and thrust a spear into its summit, causing he entire mountain range to collapse, all because she was "displeased with it." It's also worth noting that while she is selfish and whimsically cruel, she's also incredibly powerful; the "Venus" that she loads into the Boat of Heaven is not our current Venus, but the planet as it was during Mesopotamian times, transposted to modern times in the form of a bullet.

  Tomoe Gozen

  There are few historical figures as solidly cool as Tomoe Gozen. She's renowned as a swordswoman, archer, and open to fighting demons. In a certain story, Gilgamesh himself even summons her. However, there's little reason for her to be an archer specifically. Her Noble Phantasm, Oṃ Ālolik Svāhā, isn't even a celebration of herself, but of how much she misses her husband.

  Chiron

  The teacher of teachers, Chiron is a jack of all trades. Apollo and Artemis taught him how to practice medicine and music, and his skill Wisdom of Divine Gift grants him the ability to be proficient in all skills that aren't inherently unique to others. Naturally, as a teacher, he is also able to pass down his skills to other Servants if his master wishes him to. He's even good at close combat, utilizing judo techniques and able to deflect waponty with his hands. Because of the rules of the Grail War, Chiron is typically summoned in human form because his nature as a centaur would quickly give away his true identity. However, he loses no skill with bows in this form, so even if he's not specialized in it, Archer is a fitting class for him.

    And that's every single Archer in Fate who, in one way or another, uses a bow. There are many other Archers, but beyond this list they truly begin to stretch the definition of "archery". There are a few who use guns, such as Nobunaga and Billy the Kid, which is fitting given how firearms were the natural evolution of archery. In her summer form, Altria even uses a water gun! David uses the famous slingshot he uses to slay Goliath in his Noble Phantasm, but otherwise largely attacks with his staff. Napoleon and Moriarty use large long-range projectiles, as does Helena in her summer form. Robin Hood uses a crossbow, which is similar, and his Yew Bow is used but largely for the purpose of making his poisons stronger. Perhaps the strangest of all, Nikola Tesla himself bends lightning to his will, a truly unique long-range attack. But are they really befitting of the class of Archer? If the Fate universe wills it, then that's that!

  Who is your favorite, and who are you hoping to see added to the ever-expanding list of Servants in the future? Sound off in the comments below!

  ----

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[closetofanxiety]

NXT to the Main Roster: A Haphazard Examination, Part 2 (2016)

More wrestlers went from NXT to the main roster(s) in 2016 than in any other year, so I want to examine it separately in my ongoing question to determine whether getting a coveted spot on Raw or Smackdown (or a less coveted spot on 205 Live) likely means stagnation and disappointment. Again, the grades here are for the way these wrestlers have been presented to the WWE audience, not for the wrestlers themselves. Except, I guess, for the F handed out to Big Cass.

Sami Zayn

Call-up date: January 24. The perfect underdog babyface at the top of the card in NXT (a role they’re currently trying to give Johnny Gargano), Zayn has had a respectable but mostly unspectacular run on the big shows. While they were never going to build main event storylines around him the way NXT did, after his initial feud with eternal lifemate Kevin Owens, he kind of drifted around the middle of the pack without a clear character or motivation. Hampered by injuries, his heel turn was initially masterfully handled: by saving Kevin Owens from Shane McMahon, Zayn was, in the immediate aftermath, allowed to seem conflicted, uncertain, and anxious about what he’d done. It looked like there was going to be real character development, and then, in a few months, he was challenging Bobby Lashley to obstacle course races. 

Grade: C

Eva Marie

Call-up date: March 28. WE DIDN’T DESERVE HER. She could have been a sensational, crowd-baiting heel, as she was LOATHED by the super nerds in the WWE audience, who hated that she couldn’t wrestle and was only getting pushed for her looks. I mean, the same was true of Lex Luger ZING. Anyway, it wasn’t too be, and we’re left to wonder what could have been.

Grade: F/Incomplete

Baron Corbin

Call-up date: April 3. Big Banter has grown into the role that is probably the top-dollar best he can hope for in the WWE: a sneering heel near the top of the midcard who can talk well and wrestle well. He’s a plug-and-play guy for babyfaces who are being kept on the stove while the main event picture sorts itself out, and he does great at it. I saw Baron Corbin wrestle Tommy Dreamer at an NXT show in Albany once and thought, “This guy suxxxx.” But he has proved me wrong! Good for Big Breakfast Constable Corbin.

Grade: B+

Enzo Amore

Call-up date: April 4. I’ll go on record as saying he was used well as the shitty heel champion in 205 Live. Everyone hated him, and that was his role. That was probably his ceiling: top hate figure on the ‘C’ show, but we’ll never know.

Grade: F/Incomplete

Big Cass

Call-up date: April 4. His attitude and behavior must have really been something for Vince McMahon, The Big Man Liker, to so quickly part with a big man who could talk and was at least more adept in the ring than, say, the Great Khali. After the split with Enzo, they didn’t really seem to know what they were doing with him, so I’m not entirely sure we missed out on a legendary career or anything.

Grade: F/Incomplete

Apollo Crews

Call-up date: April 4. This decision remains a head scratcher. Crews made his NXT TV debut on August 22, 2015, and in less than eight months, was debuting on Raw. Although he’s an incredibly talented wrestler, I don’t know that his NXT stint was quite the rocket to the top that would justify this. Since his debut, he’s been totally lost in the shuffle and without a discernible character. His most significant match to date was a losing bid for the Intercontinental championship against The Miz on an episode of Smackdown. The Titus Worldwide stuff has helped, but not much.

Grade: C-/D+

Aiden English

Call-up date: April 7. Rusev DAAAAYYYEH. If it weren’t for his alliance with Big Matchka, English would be staring down the barrel of a D+. Initially arrived on the main roster as a tag team with Simon Gotch, the two had an undistinguished run that included Smackdown tag title tournament losses to the Hype Bros and Breezango. Now that he’s the guy who stiffly raps before Rusev comes out, English is basking in his Mizdow Moment. When it ends, though, what will become of the Operatic Superstar?

Grade: C-

Simon Gotch

Call-up date: April 7. His gimmick had a lot of potential: the super old-timey wrestler in a postmodern, post-kayfabe world. It never really got off the ground, though, and while his team with Aiden English worked at Full Sail, Vince’s dim view of tag teams generally, plus the material they were given, meant it didn’t have much of a shot on the big stage. WWE let the trademark on his name expire, which tells you a lot.

Grade: F

Dana Brooke

Call-up date: May 9. After kind of a hot start that I’ve largely forgotten - she was heel Charlotte’s protege, remember? - she quickly settled into the rut of main roster women’s booking, which tends to consist of two women fighting over the title and then everyone else forming an amorphous backdrop, occasionally emerging for random six-person tags involving the main eventers. Dana did eliminate Kairi Sane at the first-ever Women’s Royal Rumble, so that’s something, I guess. Since November, she’s been one of the few people in the company with a manager role, as an Alexandra York figure in Titus Worldwide. 

Grade: C-

Mojo Rawley

Call-up date: July 24. Did you know Zack Ryder’s been in the WWE system since 2006? He’s incredible. He’s like one of those NBA guys who you see playing five minutes in a playoff game, years after you assumed they had retired. Anyway, Mojo Rawley. He’s done as well as he’s ever likely to do, destroying Ryder after a heel turn, feuding with No Way Jose, and no longer being hyped. His main roster run hasn’t been disappointing, largely because his NXT run was about the same thing, minus the heel turn.

Grade: C

Nia Jax

Call-up date: July 25. Rock’s cousin or no, she’s managed to remain above the midcard scrum in the women’s division by having a unique look, as the only credible monster in the locker room. She has the problem that all monsters have sooner or later, which is: what do they do after getting beaten? In her case, it was a clumsy face turn in a bullying-themed angle with Alexa Bliss that didn’t do much for either woman. Still, because of her size and ability, she’s always somewhere near the top of the card, something that’s unlikely to change.

Grade: B

Finn Bálor

Call-up date: July 25. To my mind, he’s one of the few wrestlers who’s been better served on the main roster than he was in NXT. He’s the longest-reigning NXT champion so far, but his tenure there seems largely forgettable apart from his Beast in the East match against Kevin Owens and the bloodbath against Samoa Joe at Takeover: Dallas. On the main roster, he’s regularly near the top of the card, with his painted demon character receiving the holy-shit treatment, as we saw at SummerSlam. He’s become one of their most recognizable stars and the company clearly loves him.

Grade: A

Alexa Bliss

Call-up date: July 26. One of the best examples I can think of that demonstrates how a turn can elevate a wrestler, she went from boring, sparkly cheerleader to the top woman in NXT by becoming a heel. Initially the manager of the lookalike midcard tag team of Make and Blurphy, it was clear from the start she was bound for greater things. She’s been the signal success story of the WWE System in developing stars, as opposed to repackaging stars from the indies, Japan, and Mexico: Bliss is, if not quite a mainstream star, one of the most recognizable women in the company, constantly on top of the women’s roster, and winning raves for her incredible microphone work. Nerds who complain she isn’t good at wrestling probably wouldn’t have understood Abdullah the Butcher either.

Grade: A+

Carmella

Call-up date: July 26. OH THE IRONY! When she managed Enzo and Big Cass in NXT, she was despised by the Full Sail nerds, who would chant “you can’t wrestle” at her. Two years later, and here we are: Real1 is making unlistenable hip hop tracks for his Instagram stories, Big Cazz is set to make his indie debut for Big Time Wrestling in Spartanburg, S.C., and Carmella is coming off a 131-day run as Smackdown Women’s Champion, having beaten Asuka in matches on pay-per-view and free TV. She’s not at Alexa’s level as a heel - not many people are - but she’s done a great job of establishing herself in a women’s roster that suffers from way too many bland characters and storylines.

Grade: B+/A-

Jason Jordan

Call-up date: August 2. Listen, Vince hates tag teams. American Alpha was a red-hot team in NXT, where they got over thanks to their phenomenal work inside the ring. But even there, they were kind of bland as individuals. On the main roster, where tag teams rarely last, this spelled trouble. Jordan has been hampered by injuries, but even without that he’s a man adrift, the highlight of his tenure so far being the kayfabe revelation that he’s Kurt Angle’s son, which has mostly been treated as an afterthought. 

Grade: D

Chad Gable

Call-up date: August 2. Second verse, same as the first. They tried to spark some of that American Alpha magic after disbanding American Alpha by pairing Gable with Shelton Benjamin, with predictable results. I don’t think Gable’s been on television since May, and he’s not injured. He apparently feuded with Mike Kanellis on Main Event back in June, to give you some idea. He taped a thing for WWE’s social media channels with amateur wrestling god Dan Gable, which I liked, so there’s that.

Grade: D

Bayley

Call-up date: August 22. I will admit here that I did not “get” her gimmick in NXT. It just always seemed vaguely unsettling, and now we know that it led to the Cult of Izzy. That aside, she had an undeniable connection with the audience, largely thanks to her palpable enthusiasm and tremendous in-ring skill. I never really bought the commonplace line that she could become the female John Cena, mostly because I think that underestimates how much of Cena’s appeal comes from the fact that half the audience hates him. But she’s a true-blue babyface in a company that doesn’t really know what to do with true-blue babyfaces, and so her main roster stint has been something of a disappointment. It’s weirdly fitting that she’s locked into this seemingly endless frenemies storyline with Sasha Banks, another woman who was adored in NXT and who hasn’t really found her footing on the main roster.

Grade: C

Rich Swann

Call-up date: September 19. He had his moments in 205 Live, but it was clear his off-kilter personality and presentation were not what they had in mind as the Face of the Division. They were trying to mold him into what they have with Mustafa Ali or Cedric Alexander, when they would have been better off trying to make Swann the Dean Ambrose of the cruiserweights. Instead, well, we know what happened instead.

Grade: F/Incomplete

Austin Aries

Call-up date: December 18. I have a theory that Vince McMahon thought Austin Aries was Bobby Roode, and that when they hired the real Bobby Roode, Vince immediately said, “Well, then who the fuck is this guy?” 

Grade: F

[ewh111]

Annual List of Favorite Film Experiences: The 2020 Pandemic Version

Happy new year! So happy to finally arrive at 2021! All the best for a much better new year!!

What a year it was. Since March 12, I've spent 98% of my time within the confines of my condo. The good thing is that as a natural introvert, I have not yet gone stir crazy. I get plenty of social interaction via Zoom. And as a type-2 diabetic, I have been especially careful, staying at home, going out only for essential work or errands, like groceries. I'm grateful that my extended family connected more through the pandemic via weekly 90 minute Zoom family check-ins.

After just two months of work from home, I surpassed the longest time I hadn't been on a plane in over 15 years. (In 2019, I took 42 flights--15 of them international; in 2020, just eight, all prior to the first week of Feb.) As someone who typically travels a lot for work, it's strange to be so stationary. But I'm not complaining. Without the daily commute, travel, and regular schedule of evening and weekend events, I've quietly appreciated the ability to get more sleep, find time to exercise, and even lose some weight. As I reflect upon the past year, I choose to look at the silver-lining and see this period as a positive, massive macro re-balancing of my life.

When things do get back to some semblance of normalcy, the ones who will have the most difficulty adjusting will be these two girls, Freddy and Maxie, who have been so spoiled with attention over the past 10 months.

Now onto this year's favorite film experiences.

What a strange year for film. The last time I experienced a communal movie-going experience was at the Sundance Film Festival back in January. Since 2020 will be remembered as the year of an uber-significant election and home confinement, it seems appropriate to begin this year's conversation with these two themes: democracy and geography, aka places we couldn't travel to.

LESSONS IN DEMOCRACY

Boys State

One of most riveting experiences is my favorite film from the 2020 Sundance Film Festival. This documentary follows four participants in the Texas edition of the week-long Boys State program. The filmmakers lucked out by selecting four boys whose journeys turned out to have fascinating dramatic arcs during the week. What unfolds is a totally engaging microcosm of the political dynamics in the rising generation of voters in America. Trailer: https://youtu.be/E1Kh_T5ZBIM

Hamilton

What a delightful escape from confinement and inability to see live theater by revisiting the stage musical phenomenon via the viewpoints of multi-cameras. It was a new way to appreciate the words, the music, the choreography, and staging of this remarkable work about Alexander Hamilton and his fellow founding fathers. Trailer: https://youtu.be/6s9sNvkjpI0

What the Constitution Means to Me

Missing live theater? Here's another gem to take in. Fast-paced, funny, deeply personal, and defiant, playwright Heidi Schreck plays herself in a mostly one-person show, revisiting her days as a teenager debating the meaning of the Constitution in dingy American Legion halls, linking her personal family history to our country's founding document. Trailer: https://youtu.be/P2zSRdVanDY

Crip Camp

Incredibly inspiring and engaging documentary about Camp Jened, a Catskills summer camp for teens with disabilities in the 1960s and 70s, which prepared many members to become leaders in the movement that eventually led to the passage of the ADA. An important piece of lesser known history and fight for social change and equity. Trailer: https://youtu.be/XRrIs22plz0

TRAVELING WITHOUT LEAVING THE COUCH

My Octopus Teacher (South Africa)

A truly meditative and surprisingly moving documentary. In a kelp forest off the coast of South Africa, a noted underwater photographer documents his, dare I say "friendship," with an octopus whom he visits every day over the course of a year. Trailer: https://youtu.be/b-lbIJHlmbE

76 Days (China)

New York-based filmmaker Hao Wu worked with two journalists in China who recorded harrowing, fly-on-the-wall footage inside four Wuhan hospitals at the epicenter of the COVID-19 outbreak, a clearly risky endeavor unsanctioned by the Chinese government. While this may seem unappealing to watch as we still struggle with the crisis, this apolitical, humanizing, compassionate, and ultimately uplifting film documents and honors the courageous doctors and nurses and their relationships with patients and family members grappling with the unfolding crisis over the course of the full 76 day lock-down in Wuhan. Trailer: https://youtu.be/x_f6-jhbsR4

Your Name Engraved Herein (Taiwan)

The highest ever grossing LGBTQ film in Taiwan, as well as its most popular domestic film in 2020, this is a sensitive, poignant, slow-burn story of coming out and first love in an all-boys Catholic school in a still socially-repressive Taiwan immediately after the lifting of martial law in 1987. Trailer: https://youtu.be/mzfVBg54BGw

A Sun (Taiwan, again)

Driven driving instructor father + marginalized night-club hairstylist mother + high achieving, golden child # 1 son + disowned black sheep younger son serving time in juvenile prison = unhappy family. This multiple winner of Taiwan's version of the Oscar, A Sun is an intricate, engaging, character-driven family drama full of disappointment, redemption-seeking, and tragic setbacks, but uplifting in the end. Trailer: https://youtu.be/LBogLcE2wNQ

Gunda (Norway)

An unusual viewing experience, I did not expect to be so drawn in and highly moved by this intimate, up-close and personal barnyard portrait. A totally mesmerizing and beautifully filmed, black and white, wordless and scoreless documentary (only ambient farm sounds with no humans in sight)--just a sow named Gunda and her piglets with interludes by a one-legged rooster and herd of cows. And yes, there's a subtle message. Trailer: https://youtu.be/05Gc2lANyTQ

The Painter and the Thief (Norway, again)

An intriguing and fascinating documentary about the strange and complicated story of a female Czech artist, whose two most important paintings are stolen from an Oslo art gallery in broad daylight, and the thief who turns out to be an addiction-addled male nurse who she unexpectedly befriends during the trial. Trailer: https://youtu.be/LKBiKDZSf_c

Mucho Mucho Amor (Puerto Rico)

The story of the iconic fortune-teller with millions of followers in the Spanish-speaking world: the bedazzled and caped, effervescently flamboyant, gender non-confirming, Puerto Rican television astrologer Walter Mercado. Disappearing from the airwaves without a trace in 2007 after decades of daily uplifting telecasts, no one knew what happened or where he had gone. Until these filmmakers tracked him down. Here, they tell his story in this loving portrait of the legend, in time to participate in an exhibition dedicated to his 50 year career at a Miami museum before his death last year. Trailer: https://youtu.be/XEJqiucxyrs

Welcome to Chechnya (Russia)

A gut-wrenching and chilling documentary about courageous activists who help LGBTQ individuals flee the repressive regime of Chechnya where violent, homophobic beatings and executions play out regularly and whose leader denies the existence of gay people in his republic. The doc plays like a menacing thriller with the filmmaker going to great lengths to protect the identities using elaborate digital facial disguises. Trailer: https://youtu.be/GlKkj_aHMXk

Tenet (Russia, the Amalfi Coast, Oslo, the future, and the past, among other places)

This is not an easy film to like. One of the most anticipated on my list of "must sees," but the pandemic delayed my viewing till its recent VOD release. Was it worth the wait? Well, it was almost incomprehensible for the first third. But it is here because I'm still thinking about it long after watching and is high on my list to rewatch. To enjoy on first viewing, you should stop trying to figure it out and just let it wash over you and enjoy the ride--it will eventually make (some) sense. Despite all its complexities, Christopher Nolan's ambitious concept boils down to a simple plot: rich Russian bad guy (Kenneth Branagh) wants to end the world and an unnamed secret agent-type guy known only as the Protagonist (John David Washington) tries to stop him. Oh, and there's reverse entropy. And inverted time. And yeah, there are spectacular scenes with time moving forward and backwards at the same time. Like its title, the film is one giant palindrome. Trailer: https://youtu.be/AZGcmvrTX9M

Apollo 11 (Space)

Watching this documentary is like witnessing Neil Armstrong, Michael Collins, and Buzz Aldrin's mission unfold before your eyes live, in real time. Put together from previously unreleased, stunningly crisp, and beautiful archival footage and communications audio from NASA, this is a breathtaking experience that captures the awe of the achievement without talking heads or commentary. Trailer: https://youtu.be/tpLrp0SW8yg

HOW TO DEAL WITH DEATH

Soul

This time out, Pixar tackles existential questions, like what it means to be alive and what is the "before life" in this metaphysically jazzy and terrifically "soulful" film featuring a predominantly Black cast. Trailer: https://youtu.be/xOsLIiBStEs

Dick Johnson is Dead

One would not expect a filmmaker's decision to document her father's descent into old age and dementia to be such an enjoyable and amusing ride. The result is a uniquely comic and bittersweet approach on how to handle his mortality, including envisioning and staging various ways he might accidentally hasten death. Her inspired choice to embrace the time left with her father in this way is endearing and touching without being sentimental. (And the director happens to be a college classmate: Kirsten Johnson, Brown '87.) Trailer: https://youtu.be/wfTmT6C5DnM

AND THREE MORE

Mank

David Fincher masterfully tells the tale of Herman Mankiewicz, the writer of Citizen Kane. Part social history, part examination of the underbelly of Hollywood's Golden Age, part homage to Orson Welles and Citizen Kane, the film is beautifully and evocatively shot in lush black and white with standout performances by Gary Oldman as Mank, Amanda Seyfried as Marion Davies, and a screenplay by Fincher's late father, Jack. Trailer: https://youtu.be/aSfX-nrg-lI

David Byrne's American Utopia

An exhilarating and spirited concert film by Spike Lee who beautifully captures the exuberant grey-suited, bare-footed David Byrne and his similarly wardrobed bandmates on a minimalist stage--a perfect remedy for home-confined and connection-starved human beings during these unusual times. The Byrne-Lee pairing perfectly "makes sense" as you take in the penultimate number, a cover of Janelle Monáe’s "Hell You Talmbout." Trailer: https://youtu.be/lg4hcgtjDPc

Sound of Metal

A character study of self-discovery and emotional truths, Riz Ahmed gives a riveting performance as a heavy metal rock drummer who suddenly loses his hearing. The immersive experience is enhanced with the film's amazing sound design. Trailer: https://youtu.be/VFOrGkAvjAE

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Borat Subsequent Moviefilm (perhaps the film most representative of the craziness of 2020), Ma Rainey's Black Bottom (great performances by Viola Davis and Chadwick Boseman), The Personal History of David Copperfield, Da 5 Bloods, The Way I See It, The Invisible Man, Trial of the Chicago 7, I Lost My Body, The Life Ahead, Wolfwalkers, The Bee Gees: How Do You Mend A Broken Heart. 

In the Queue

Minari, Nomadland, Bacurau, Small Axe, Beanpole, The Forty Year Old Version. 

2020: THE YEAR OF NON-STOP STREAMING

Honestly, given the lack of traditional theatrical releases, I did spend an inordinate amount of time streaming shows than I normally would. It has made me wonder about the challenges of narrative storytelling in the 90-120 minute format vs. the longer episodic format which is so much more conducive to storytelling and character development.

MY TOP 30-SOME FAVORITE PANDEMIC STREAMING EXPERIENCES 

In descending order of bingey-ness--is that a word?--i.e., inability to stop watching episode after episode. (And occasional commentary...)

Dark (Netflix)--I gave this German series a special shout-out last year (Twin Peaks + Stranger Things + The Wire + time travel), and season 3 finally arrived this summer. So good, I devoured it twice in one week. Complex, mind-bending, and addictively dense storytelling with time travel that makes sense (Tenet, take note) and super satisfying series finish. Ultimately unraveling the intertwined family tree of all the time-traveling characters will make your head spin for days. 

Money Heist (Netflix)--I needed something to replace my addictive need after Dark, and four seasons of this Spanish heist/thriller fit the bill perfectly. Plus, I think the series is rich in lessons on organizational behavior and leadership development/dynamics. Dissertation, anyone?

The Umbrella Academy (Netflix)--Not a genre I typically find appealing (superheroes), but I loved the combination of family dysfunction, sibling rivalry, humor, and more time travel. After finishing the two seasons, I really missed the characters and can't wait for next season. And as a JFK assassination buff, I loved that season 2 took place in Dallas,1963.

The Queen's Gambit (Netflix)--Girl survives car crash in which mom dies, grows up to be charming woman who is addicted to alcohol and does chess.

The Flight Attendant (HBO Max)--Girl survives car crash in which dad dies, grows up to be charming woman who is addicted to alcohol and serves first class. But not anything like The Queen's Gambit.

The Great* (Hulu)--Wickedly dark comedic period piece (Catherine the Great's 18th century Russia) with colorblind casting where scheming powerful people plot to get out of loveless marriage.

Bridgerton (Netflix)--A light romantic period piece (Regent era England) with colorblind casting where scheming powerful people and debutantes try to get into marriage and maybe find love.

Tiger King (Netflix)

The Crown (Netflix)

Sex Education (Netflix)

The Last Dance (Netflix)

Better Call Saul (Netflix)

Never Have I Ever (Netflix)--Best narrator ever!

Ozark (Netflix)

Watchmen (HBO Max)

Ugly Delicious 2 (Netflix)--David Chang is back with interesting take on food and culture. The classism of steak-eating?

Flavorful Origins (Netflix)

The Great British Baking Show Season 11 (Netflix)

Pen15 (Hulu)

Mrs. America (Hulu)

The Good Place (Netflix)

Ted Lasso (Apple TV)

Alex Rider (Prime)

Love, Victor (Hulu)

Giri/Haji (Netflix)

Ratched (Netflix)

The Undoing (HBO Max)

Lovecraft Country (HBO Max)

Zerozerozero (Prime)

Industry (HBO Max)

The Boys (Prime)

What We Do In the Shadows (Hulu)

We Are Who We Are (HBO Max)

Pose (Netflix)

Normal People (Hulu)

Indian Matchmaking (Netflix)

Middleditch & Schwartz (Netflix)

Schitts Creek (Netflix)--Don't be put off by this comic treasure being so low on the binge scale. The series gets better with each season, and I'm slowly watching it because I know the end is coming, and I don't want it to end.