#BUT I RLY JUST NEED TO SAY ONE THING | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lemongogo · 3 months ago

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they should get to kill each other at least twice .i think

#gravity falls #stanford pines #stanley pines #lg doodles #i drew this a few days ago but im so tired after work ngl . sittingnin bed like =__= ..#and im visiting family this weekend so idek if ill get to it until next weekend #but ya i love them i loge them so much #i love the tension in atots right after stanford comes back #and hes like writing sll this shit ab stan in the journal #while learning that he stole his identity and so on and stans like hey so i did this rly selfless thing for u can you at least #acknowledge it and they r just stewing in their own anger 😭#actually i love their dynamic so much . the arguing as they mimic each other 1:1 and rhe animosity and #ykw im gna make another post but the grammar stanley scene is my favorite #magbe its not post worthy nvm idc but thats probably one of my fav interactions in the whole series #its so stupid that u know its real HELPPlike yeah that rly isnjust how it is . in fact ive done more over less 🫶#HAHAHAHAH #ugh.love . lovee i wish #i dont think gf needs a continuation im totally in the 2 season boat here #but if they ever did a post series stan and ford exploration ohhh believe . trust tht i would not shut up ab it ever #i want to see them talk so bad . im so greedy bc i feel like they didnt talk enough in the series bc im partial 2 them i just want them in #everything .#i think their personalities are so fun esp bc ford isnt the annoying nerd archetype i like that hes a cocky bitch #and i like that stan is an equally cocky bitch and they both have too much pride that they butt heads over literally everythjng #but they also recognize how ridiculous it all is like 😭. even when theyre fighting over the journal they both r like ok pause r u ok #hmm.. so many ppl here capture their dynamic well too.😭at least the people who dont generalize either into a single personality trait yk #imso tired im tired #but guys i love talking ab ford and stan theybr so everything to me in ways i dnt think incould ever articulate like u see them and u just g #get it . ugh. turning my head and passing out . ford is so funny hes so stupid i love him i cant bekieve i was a ford hater im sorry ive #atoned im changed im a changed oerson i didnt realize the magnitude of his serve .but stanley as my day 1 will never change . just know .(k #idk if anyonf ever reads this fsr down but if u r here say cheesee📸📸

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skitskatdacat63 · 1 year ago

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these made me have a mental breakdown at 3 am tbh

#I DONT EVEN THINK I NEED TO SAY WHAT IM THINKING ABOUT THESE #THE TOP TWO ARE JUST SSDOSJFLKFJ;DKOPBJWP #YEAH YEAH OKAY OKAY OKAY NORMAL BEHAVIOR #like instead of just waiting he puts his hands on sebs hip and lower back???? okay????????????#perfectly normal work place behavior imo! (sure sure sure.....)#such a tender soft touch...its okay fernando if youre gonna touch him in the first place you might as well grab him #i love looking at clips thru a shipper's lense bcs every little thing just causes horrific derangement #AND OH YEAH THE HELMET CARESS!!!!!!!!!! OKAY SEBBBBBB!!!!#this one's for C LOL bcs my god we are both losing it #just i cannot put into words my exact thoughts except LOOK AT HIS HANDS OKAY!!!!!!#vettonso #sebastian vettel #fernando alonso #f1 #formula 1 #2011 british gp #2011 is my comfort season okay?? im not worried abt spoilers bcs theres not rly a championship fight. its just good vibes #we do a little bit of f1

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mwagneto · 8 days ago

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have you seen broadchurch? also for bideo game I have no clue what you usually play but I've been enjoying sable a lot recently

i avoid looking at david tennant whenever possible

#broadchurch is another one of those shows everyone tried to make me watch (like. ppl in my real unfortunate life)#and they all wanted to fuck him so bad. somehow the idea that there exists a person (me) who isnt attracted to #any man let alone tennant was such an unbelievable concept to them that i probably #spent multiple hours of my life repeatedly explaining that it's possible to watch dr who without wanting to fuck the dr #of course this was before the doctor turned into a hot mean lesbian so I've been forced to understand these ppl #but the fact remains that i dont like looking at tennant in any context that isnt blorbo from my show #that's not exclusive to him dgmw i hate seeing actors in general and i #hate seeing actors for characters i love 1000000 times more it's like uncanny valley to me #like what did you do to my guy. who are you. please die. wheres my guy. why do you vaguely look like my guy. please die. please #sorry this is an extremely long way to say i cant rly watch shows starring ppl who play my blorbo in smtg else it makes me uncomfortable #and broadchurch specifically is forever on my kill list for what the tennant fuckers around me did to me #sable looks lovely tho I'll look into it #i usually play like‚ idk‚ anything where you control a 3rd character and go to places and kill things #but im not too picky it just needs to hold my attention and preferably have gay ppl #i got mail!

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sundial-bee-scribbles · 25 days ago

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youtube

don't feel like uploading it separately here so here's just the yt link lol

made a proper talkloid again after a million years for rin/len/iku's bday (even if a bit late but fuck it)

#my video lol #talkloid #vocaloid #utau #kagamine rin and len #kagamine rin #kagamine len #acme iku #oliver vocaloid #ugh dont feel like tagging anything else. does this need any warnings???#and now for soemthing more lighthearted lol. tonal dissonance strikes back my fave. the iku gore post before this and now silly 💀 lol #anyways i love talkloiding fr... its like playing with dolls but even better lolll i missed doing this. i need to do more of this #its annoying as fuck and so time consuming but its always fun to watch the final product #i will say tuning len to make him sound like he's having a mental breakdown lowkey was really fun LMAOOOO #i figured out how to do that by accident and i wanna keep testing shit like that out. making vsynths sound sarcastic is also rly fun #maybe i really just need to keep on with that. cause as much as i do want to make nice covers or whatever maybe its not for me #though figuring out shit for song tuning has in turn helped me figure out things for speech & viceversa. so hmmm #i need to keep practicing so i can get better... bc technically this is all with purpose theres a deeper reason why im talkloiding #and every one i make is a step closer to the final mission. but we'll see if we get there soon some day... it will take time but one day...#also i need to get better at using aviutl lol figurign out some of thsi shit last min was NOT IT but we're getting there...

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ganondoodle · 4 months ago

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i am being so brave trying so hard to hold back writing a rant about that 'minimizing narrative noise' comment on totk sage concept art bc its actively flying around in my head like the worlds most annoying fly

#ganondoodles talks #zelda #i have .... thigns to say...............#i need to wait until i get a look at the entire book #and cant go on rants on single comments #then again .... what else is in there .................#i am dreading this thing #like id rather know that there was trouble during development than having a dozen of shitty comments obviously trying to cover up-#-for something- this CANNOT be true #yes narrative noise is a thing that exists- but in THIS game????????????????????????????????????????????????????????#like you basically cut down the already boring plot into its bare essentials that isnt executed well either #and then add confusion and menaingless detailes like the sage helmets “”connecting“” the sonau to the shiekah #when rly it just makes it more confusing bc the hsiekah a prectically gone- the fuck kind of conenction is there #like THAT is what id call narrative noise- weird details that make no sense and arent important #also you cant make a character the equivilant of a blank box and then say 'we wanted them to feel powerful and scary' or sth #BC YOUD NEED TO MAKE THE CHARACTER ANYTHIGN -BUT- A BLANK BOX TO HAVE THEM BE INTIMIDATING #ALSO all the ancient stupid sages do is stand around repeating words like they are puppets- you dont see them fight ever #“intimitadtign” my ASS the useless little knife fake zelda throws at sonia from half a mile away and prob wouldnt even have gotten through-#-her hair is more intimidating than any of the blank box mc sages #youd think they learned their lesson when they made the botw champions DLC bc it fleshed their characters out more and added better-#-shrines BUT NO apparently that was a big mistake huh #maybe thats why every single character is reduced to one boring stereotype or a blank box of nothing in totk #having zelda be anything else but a swooing little damsel waiting for her prince was narrative noise needing to be removed HUH #writing team all fired or what- literally WHAT was going on in there

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mamawasatesttube · 9 months ago

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i wish it wasn't so normal for people to complain about unfinished wips or fics that take a long time to update. because sometimes i think i have a really fun idea for a fic but it'd take a while for me to write, and i like talking about my work as i do it and i don't like writing entire fics over like 20k without sharing, because i lose steam. so if i were to write and post that cool fic idea, it'd be as a wip. and then i think about all the people who just refuse to engage with wips, or all the other people who would just go "update pls" all the time, and of how people only really comment in the first 24 hours something is posted and then it's lost to obscurity, and then i just go "actually whats the point in going through the effort writing this out? i'll just daydream about it now and then and be done with it." and then i don't write it. alas!

#rimi talks #shoutout to that one person who followed me from resi fandom and commented on one of my dc fics like ''pls update that resi fic''#also shoutout to all those tumblr posts about how theres nOthInG wOrSe than finding a GoOd FiC but its uNFiNIsHeD #i used to really like writing longfic but these days i kind of shy away from it bc it rly does get discouraging #like they say ''write for yourself'' and i do but i certainly dont share just for my own satisfaction yk???#anyways. i already have space fic and theres no need for me to start another fic. even if it would be fun.#ive also just been in a Mood about writing since yesterday and thats not helping matters 😔#but it feels like a stupid thing to be in A Mood about. idk. whatever jdlksk hopefully itll pass and ill be normal tomorrow :/#bc talking to duck earlier today we came up with a really fun mermay fic premise. but. writing? me? multichap again? lol. lmao even #like i would love to!!!!!! having two ongoing multichaps wouldnt kill me i like to pingpong between wips #but dealing with people whining about update times or telling me they refuse to read bc its a wip...... dunno if i can do that again fellas #okay. enough woes and whining. i guess i will go play a video game

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witchqueen · 7 months ago

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Does anyone have any tips to help stop yourself from comparing your artwork to others, or equating your value as an artist with likes and reblogs?

I've struggled with this for a while and it's getting old, I don't know how to just shrug it off. Any genuine advice would be nice

#its just bygging me bc i know rationally they dont matter i knoe they dont #but i still feel it in my bones that im not good enough because my work doesnt circulate on platforms #i paint for fun and then i post and i get these feelings and theyre so goddamn annoying #i know to just keep posting anyway and try to enjoy the ride but my Depression Brain is such an asshole #i wish it would be quiet #i never used to feel this way either until likes and reposts/reblogs became so integral to social media #on top of needing commissions to get by while looking for work and attending school soon #idk maybe this is just a vent and ik no one can Fix it that simply #i guess im just speaking 2 the void rn and maybe others feel the same #*bugging #and i really am so grateful just to know anyone likes it or comments on it and reading feedback really really means so much #but i feel like unless im pumping out specific fandom stuff that doesnt really happen #but the negative thoughts and feelings can b rly strong sometimes and im just tired #im sure this is a depression thing too #hoping i can get into therapy thru school but it depends on finances as everything else in this world does 🫠#ill keep going tho #and please if you are someone who does comment or reblog and say something about the work please do not ever stop #it means so much to me and others im positive it does #i see you and i appreciate you so so much #thank you and thank you to anyone who reads or comments some ideas

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skunkes · 6 months ago

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1 week until surgery...my brain keeps trying to talk me out of it bc i dont Need it and im scared of medical environments and Pain but i have to remember this is one of the only things that has ever made me consider wanting a tattoo and also the only thing that's made me Excited For and Wanting visible scars...

And also I've been making "i want sterilization and testosterone" meltdown tweets every other week for many many years so we're scratching one off the list LOL

#talkys #i even told me dad like my life is at a standstill bc theres too many choices. i dont have a passion so i could be anything but #i cant pick a future...! but this is the only thing ive ever been sure abt #like genuinely truly bc i still dk if i want top surgery and I know id be grappling wirh finally going on hrt if i had access to it #bc im Scared of my own decisions. if i make a decision and hate it it will be my fault #this is the only decision ive ever been sure of even if i dont need it even if i never ''need'' it #the One True Dysphoria Subject (other than *** ****** * **** of course but nothing can be done abt that.)#i dont want my body to be capable of it i want it to be mine forever and not something tragedy can happen to.#also abt the scars thing: i was more against ir a few yrs ago but along with top surgery being a more demanding surgery ive #never rly liked the thought of scars. like. idk. just adds insult to injury that my body had to be modified instead of being born right #but this? i want visible scars i get sad that ppl say they (understandably) fade away easily. symbols of honor #i dont like permanence (lmfao) in other categories so i wouldnt get the neutered tattoo but its adjacent to wanting the scars lol

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why-the-heck-not · 1 year ago

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Anxious? Nervous? Feeling the impending doom? May I interest you in ”chugging so much coffee as fast as u can”!! With this lowprice solution, you too can think about all of ur flaws, mistakes and future stresses with quadruple the energy and efficiency !! It is almost free !! What are you waiting for ???? Pick up the phone and order ”chugging so much coffee as fast as u can” today for the low-price of one (1) anxiety attack at 1-800-MISTAKE !!! You will not regret it !!!!

#uhh idk reminders to self that one (1) cup of coffee straight after waking up is enough #u don’t need 2 cups in the first like half an hour #also yes i think im funny and my brain read this in that Welcome to Nightvale voice for some reason #i’ll go listen to a podcast and do dishes like that’s the calmest thing to do when u have bunch of nervous energy #also just had a zoom call that was like 10mins but did I manage to say even one thing? nope i did not and now i started my day very poorly #with feeling like I already failed a task (no but like rly had nothing to add to things and im bad at just talking if it’s not necessary)#september 2023 #2023

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fishnchip3011 · 10 months ago

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everytime i actually open up sdv to play i get flashbanged with sebastian's white ass sprites because i always forget not everyone sees him as wasian💔 my current hc for him is half chinese (liable to change... but ik for sure he's half asian) but he is Not bilingual he can't rly speak or write the other language he can only understand it when listening but even then he's not very fluent LOL this is just turning into a sebastian hc post might as well go full out. to me sebastian Does have relationship experience but has been thru shitty ones in the past which is part of the reason why he's so pessimistic & brooding </3 and he'd hook up with ppl in zuzu city for a night for a while but it just made him feel shittier so he's stopped since ☝️ also people make him out to be way cooler than he actually is like yea sure he's kinda cool but he's also a Massive Loser especially when he tells you how he hates "seasonal fads" like pumpkin spice and that one line about the potluck soup where he's like "Why ruin the potluck? Hmm... I guess some people feel liberated when the rigid structures of society break down a little. Maybe I'm weird.” WHO ASKED😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 his ass also can NOT cook he can make spaghetti but it's mid. he probably has low ass stamina and yeah he's tall and lanky (rn i see him as around 5'9-5'10) but you could snap him in half over your knee. when he's in an actually healthy relationship he gets really flustered over certain romantic gestures cuz he's not used to feeling valued or being considered someone's #1. he picks up on little things and does acts of service but i also think he can be really callous and insensitive at times because while he can be pretty perceptive he is also Very Emotionally Stunted. he unlearns lots of unhealthy behaviors & mindsets with the help of his partner & family & friends ^__^

#i almost popped a vein trying not to mention rowan in all of this so this post is more. consumable i guess #but rowan to me is soooooo perfect for him to me because rowan's whole thing is empathy and warmth #where it's a strength but also a weakness for him because he's also a chronic people pleaser and a doormat #out of the need he feels to make people feel valued which is a good thing but not when its to the point of self negligence #rowan gives rly good advice but overburdens himself cuz he feels responsible for ppl&doesnt give himself the same treatment he gives others #when he's with sebastian he helps him feel valued and sebastian learns to trust people more and not to immediately assume the worst of ppl #and seb is sooooooo perfect for rowan bc seb is vocal about what he dislikes and when hes not happy w something/one #and is good at setting boundaries whereas rowan is Not. he helps rowan learn how to say no to ppl and be more assertive #& think abt his own feelings more! they both help e/o vocalize their feelings #for rowan its vocalizing his opinions more and valuing himself more & for seb its vocalizing more for the sake of better communication #w other ppl so he can establish better trust & relations w ppl. and stop being so closed off/unapproachable LOL #their differences match up well but it also leads to arguments/tension cuz seb doesnt communicate and resorts to avoidance #and rowan is too pliant sometimes to the point where it hurts not just himself but the ppl around him including seb #also fun fact rowan is the type to cry when he gets really angry/upset & when seb resorts to avoidance instead of reassurance #(which is what rowan wants) rowan sometimes ends up catastrophizing & also bottles up his emotions similarly to seb #they always reconcile in the end tho even if it takes a while </3 they r both learning ok!!!!!!!!#not perfect to the point where they dont argue bc thats Impossible but they suit each other well. they r good for each other qwq #eon babbles #stardew valley #farmer rowan #<- i talk about him in tags. hehehe

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grillbyz · 11 months ago

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still thinking about the. asgore's winter alarm clock dialogue like. If they ever finish this (please) imagine waking up one day to asgore divorced-reemurr saying "he was... my rudolph" ab some guy he used to know like

"I was... his Santa. He was... my Rudolph." With those sprites. like. Oh he was yours and you were his, huh. Sir. Sir--

hello, sir, what was that about the mistletoe--

Oh so. he uses the same nickname your ex-wife used for you. Is that so. The very same huh---

Oh so you wanted to show him the sun huh. You wanted to hold his hand and bring him to the surface and show him the beauty of the sun didn't you

#undertale #asgore dreemurr #rudy holiday #rudolph holiday #i make this post in an affectionate manner thumbs up #also sorry for the long post but i found this page open in my ten trillion tabs collection and felt so normal ab it #Very aware of what's going on in deltarune as well but just thinking ab. the alarm clock specifically #i have many thoughts ab rudy and asgore in both games but also just #toby fox rly did just give us this #toby what are you saying about asgore toby toby come back here---#i need. to make post ab rudy and asgore thoughts one day. or draw something. or finish writing things #stares off into the distance i need to finish my kingdings gaster pining fic where rudy and gaster eventually become friends #there are so many thoughts in my head. but also.#going to fix my sleep schedule fr if ut alarm clock ever drops bc dear god #deer god even

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lemongogo · 15 days ago

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#MY WIIFEEEE!!!!!!! I MISS MY DEAD WIIIFEEE😭😭😭🙏‼️🧍#every so often i think ab how he killed himself fr in the ekko heimerdinger alt world and it makes me laugh #i actually had a bit 2 say about his arc and how i actually rly like his punishment for how it relates his suffering #to the suffering he enabled in zaun && also experiencing the consequences of his own technology & weaponry but i #DELETED IT !!! bc i didnt kno how 2 word it . my fear of saying one thing and it having some othee implication so i need 13 more additional #clarifying tags #jayce #arcane #arcane spoilers #hes sooo sexy thou . looking like this ^. makes u sit and think (wolf staring at sunset pic)#like i genuinely wonder if hed even be in my favs had this not happened #gone too soon📸💔#i also think its aided by the fact that we see his development in a very concrete/physical way . montaaageee #whereas mels for examp. resorts to abstract development that the audience is not privy to #how her magic is just suddenly understood thru innate and unrevealed mechanisms. oouhh i wish her story had the same #level of attn.

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kuromi-hoemie · 6 months ago

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feel like I've genuinely spent at least a quarter of my day too horny to think. i was going to do some kind of art today but I've been thinking about the boy...

#for like the third day in a row #me: I've gotten so much hotter fr like i'm SO hot now and i was already hot i can't believe this #me when a friend who knew me from before says he thinks I'm hot: buddy what do you MEAN??¿?¿¿ 😵‍💫😵 really?? 👉🏾👈🏾#i enjoy his friendship and his company ♡⁠ and i don't want to make it weird so i needed to cool off for a couple hours (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠)#i just kinda asked him if he wants anything more of me and what his boundaries are :3c and we can go frm there #i don't like to drive myself crazy wondering and letting a crush build. i nip it in the bud before it consumes me by just asking 😌#this isn't my first crush on him but i did keep the other ones to myself.. he's different 👉🏾👈🏾 but things r p different these days #and it's been a while since we've last seen each other. I've never been more attracted to him than i am now 😵‍💫😵‍💫#what happened.. wait no we have been getting closer i suppose. I remember always wanting to know him more in our #friend group back then and i feels rly nice to actually understand him more these days (❁´◡`❁) ♡ to be seen and understood myself.#it's a whole thing lol but basically i split off frm our old group then he kinda got kicked out and the group fell apart #but then we reconnected months later and we're better friends than we've ever been :3 i like him and appreciate him either way ♡⁠#😮‍💨 having a crush on someone is so exhilarating yet exhausting lmaoo. he's a good boy though i like himmm ʕ⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴥ⁠ꈍ⁠ʔ #ougggh... waaaahh.... auhgggghhhhggggg........#i haven't had a crush on someone in a while (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠) I've been blissfully hanging w my bestie but he keeps getting me #god..

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itsalwaysdark · 5 months ago

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i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is

#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And #make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not #saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was #going to say #like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so #bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the #winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000 #other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless 😭 like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but #i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its #been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody #responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple #muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it #but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like #im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good #solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start #all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the #punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4 #im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but #even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think #avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is #like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they #hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be #the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors 💯 like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO #difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15 #minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case #it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel #stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and #tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i #tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction #like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint

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sieglinde-freud · 5 months ago

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thinking about them and banging my head against the wall again whats new. they are making me so emo. god. what the fuck

#ann plays fates #theyre like all i can think about rn #its that time of the year #i mean i think about them both constantly separately but its always when september comes #do i get hit with the laslow/nyx rarepair brainrot i think #that just lasts through fall and winter #not that im complaining. i think eventually i will have posted the entire fucking conversation #i cant help it. each part gives me a segment of dialogue to be ill about #i have ‘but with burdens so heavy dont you think we can lean on eachother a bit?’ on my wall #ROMANCE. TO ME (girl who is aroace)#also underrated thing about them i like how nyx flirts back #its more prevalent in their A support but shes so fun with him even beyond the bonding over traumatic pasts #i think with laslow he does a lot of flirting right bc hes laslow but a lot of the time its like #no ones matching his energy #i was gonna say match his freak but i dont think he has any freak if im so real with u #if he does its buried beneath five metric tons of shame and embarrassment #and i like how his… laslow-ness kinda gives nyx space to let loose if that makes sense #like he can match her maturity because he. you know. all of that #but hes still young and so she can find a little bit of reprieve from it all in his attitude and blah blah blah #if that makes sense #they r just so perfect. TO ME #ive only ever written and posted one thing for them but i have like five million (like six) things in my drafts i need to get back #into writing. rarepair hell gotta feed myself #also that was like two years ago it kinda sucks a bit but thats fine its called growth #i just miss them. i dont really have the brainpower to play fates but i have enough to think about them #i mean i played a little but ive mostly just been doing dumb shit with the class system and not rly playing the game #we’ll get to it #im supposed to be sleeping

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eschynite · 5 months ago

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Maybe I'm projecting and being hopeful but I mentioned to M that I don't even get to shit by myself in peace lmao and I feel like something clicked for him. Bc I was like hey, at least you get private bathroom breaks at work (noncombative). And since then he's been a lot more acquiescent when I ask if I can nap and stuff

#he's never rly said no he just used to be like 'well whaf if i want to nap' like in the early parenting days #which evolved into 'yeah i guess'-type responses #lately he's more like 'yeah!' like his tone is less. whatever it was before #same with any requests i make in general like if he'll put e down for bed and stuff #idk my weird episode epiphany thing i went through last week has me feeling much less patient and self-questioning #it's just a fact that constantly asking myself if i'm being considerate enough of others has done nothing for me #like it hasn't even improved my relationships.. i don't really have any lol #like i'm done biting my tongue bc idk if i've properly considered their perspective.. i end up blowing up at minor things as a result anyway #like it makes me a worse partner fr #i also really feel like i've been putting daggers thru my own spirit by doing this for so long #like i need to stop troubleshooting my existence like 'what if i conform this way' 'what if i conform that way'#here's what if: you will be profoundly unhappy and no one who you love will truly know you #this is such a tangent off what i started talking about but basically i'm done reflexively wondering #every time i feel wronged disrespected etc. if actually i'm the one in the wrong. it really is reflexive #the way m's mom responded to me setting a boundary was a wake up call like apparently she just read into what i was saying too much #so hypothetically it wasn't the boundary she was angry about but how she thought i set it #but like i don't have any time for you if my extremely sincere and straightforward communication isn't good enough for you #like i'm not going to be understanding of your inability to take me at face value we didn't both fuck up. You did #and that's how i'm going to act. like You fucked up. yk

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