#BUT I LOVE THE IDEA TOO MUCH TO DROP IT
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#am participating in the after camlann big bang this year and HOO BOY am i not good at writing on a schedule#i also chose a perhaps ridiculously difficult au to manage esp when i'm not used to writing dream sequences or surrealism#BUT I LOVE THE IDEA TOO MUCH TO DROP IT#but i've also only written about a thousand words and already know none of them are making it into the final draft#i think part of the problem is i love merlin SO MUCh#like i've spoken on this blog about how much it as a show and merthur as a ship means to me#(tho i'm not actually writing merthur for this piece)#and also my writing friends that i normally bounce ideas on aren't into merlin or the fandom for the au so i'm just *vibrating in place*#mayhaps am very stressed about this#but i refuse to back out#and really don't want to change ideas#writing this all out helped actually i'm getting hype again#gonna go chase that#cj updates
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Three of Emily O’Leary’s hand-hooked dog rugs (@emiliaoleary); bottom two photos were shot by Bucky Miller for an installation in his Wraymour&Flanigan project (strongly recommend seeing the full installation photos!)
#i love these so so much#i had no idea you were on tumblr! tagged you proper here too and added the w&f installation link-#your work is absolutely jaw-dropping and stunning and lovely and i am so grateful to know about it#much to gush about but i’ve gotta head back to work
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when she's wiling to turn into a devil to protect and fight for her friends 😍🥰🤩💗💖💗🌸🌺🌷🤩🥰🥰🌸🥰🌸🌺🌷🌸💖💗
#one piece#nico robin#mine#nico robin if u give me one chance ill#i love her so much you have no idea and this fight was. amazing#i even remembered when it aired and saw some clips of it and was like “damn one piece go crazy huh” and it was etched into my mind#now i know and also went insane#her voice drop too. GIRL#HER EVIL SMILES AORUSHDSKDH#i did not think robin would be my fav straw hat. besides luffy but. thinking about her everyday
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one of the things that fascinate me about thawne: yes, he CAN be normal with kids! surprisingly normal!
((not at all times, though. his mental illness still spills through and as usual he, in trying to manipulate or hurt others, spits out at them the exact stuff that would hurt him (or have in his childhood/barry's rejection interpretation) the most in the first place lmao))
but at the same time. his like second instinct when doing his bullshit is FUCK THEM (as) KIDS
(and, well. whatever this classifies as)
#whats wrong with him. seriously. he loves picking fights with literal children So Much#AND NONE OF THEM WITH WALLY ON THE MATTER OF BEING THE BIGGEST FLASH FAN. HOW DID THAT NEVER HAPPEN#about the middle page. honestly i DIDNT remember he is a Jerk in that way too until i checked his interactions with bart for this post#this man officially should not be allowed near children as a mentor.#just straight up drops ALL his insecurities on a poor kid in trying to make him feel ashamed. NO breaking the abuse cycle for this bad boy#the only thing he doesnt say is the direct 'you are a disappointment' altho the message is still the same 💀💀💀💀💀💀#AND I BET HES HELLA PROUD OF THAT. I MEAN CONSIDERING THIS FACT IG HE DOES TRY TO BE BETTER THAN HIS PARENTS. SOMEWHAT.#and omg he formulates his point like in problem based learning (leading the child to making the correct conclusion themselves)#im dying. professor to the fucking core.#and the way he feels the need to bring up flash facts in his appeal?? EO YOURE SO HOPELESS. THIS IS 100% HOW BART SAW HIM THROUGH#and god knows what he told thad promising to get him out of the speed force if he fought barry there and whether he was going to fulfill it#and do you even IMAGINE how FUCKED barry's mental condition would be growing up if thawne fulfilled his button threat#and i really REALLY wonder about the tornado twins and their relationship with 'uncle eobard' but that will be a separate post#he doesnt know any other way tho. and he might be actually mad at bart for not supporting his every action as The Flash#like. he tries to play family but the second they question he just goes WHATEVER. I DONT NEED IT. FLASH OF MY VISION RUNS ALONE#his problem is that he just wants attention. he doesnt see family/heroing for what 'its really about' or downsides that may come with them#everything is so idealized in his head. and the moment he faces reality with its complications the concept immediately gets antagonized.#and then he reconsiders and changes the conditions but fails each time never realizing the problem is his mindset and not everything else#black white at its finest yall#and man. RELATABLE.#also WHY is he standing LIKE A STATUE when appearing in front of bart????😭😭😭😭#poor museum rat has no idea what heroes in real life stand like#eobard thawne#professor zoom#reverse flash#the reverse flash#bart allen#the flash#dc
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me before watching Drop Dead Fred: aw this is gonna be a really silly dumb kinda movie and it'll cheer me up :3c me after watching Drop Dead Fred:
#talk about a film which hits you right in the trauma jesus CHRIST#i thought it was gonna be toilet humour and slapstick for 90 minutes not an exploration on the effects of childhood abuse!!!!!! 😭😭😭#not to get too personal on main but when you're raised in that kind of abusive controlling environment where your behaviour is scrutinised#you do want to give in and act out and conceptualise that there's somewhere there who cares about you and could save you#i have no idea why this movie received such bad reviews...to me it seems like a really cutting look at a hard topic#and both Phoebe Cates and Rik Mayall were fantastic#ohhhh man. my heart hurts. love it so much#could i call this a 'comfort movie' if it's eating away at my insides??? i don't know 😭😭😭#drop dead fred#phoebe cates#rik mayall#tw: trauma#starleskatalks
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stultifera navis rerun AKA thinking about Iberia hours again because a lot of the Iberians have such fascinating relationships with the concept of home but specifically Thorns and Lumen are eating at my brain. like where do you call home when the place that is your home Just Fucking Hates You? Elysium's rewinding breeze specifically makes a point to hammers home how differently Iberia treats its Liberi and its Aegir
(which is especially interesting since this comes right after a conversation where Purestream commented on how despite Leizi being a high ranking government official, there are still some experiences that are universal for all Yanese people - because the experience of what Iberia itself is like isnt universal for all Iberians)
But all that being said, Thorns also straight up states that Aegir is not his home, and yeah, how could it be? How could a place you've never been to, never truly known, ever be your home? How could it ever feel like a home?
so where do you go when the place that you are from hates your people and the place your people are from is completely unfamiliar and alien to you? Thorns' answer at the end of the conversation with Aya is: my home is where i chose it to be. my home is where there are people I care about and people who care about me
in the complete opposite direction, Lumen's oprec asks: why do you still stay in a place that wants you gone? because the people of Gran Faro like Jordi well enough but when push comes to shove, they will want the only Aegir in town gone
and yet, when Rald the messenger offers him a chance to leave Jordi turns him down and when he's forced to escape Gran Faro after the people there literally try to send him to his death (or worse) at the hands of the Inquisitors he keeps trying to go back because like everyone in stultifera navis, Jordi is clinging to his own dreams of a golden age
but the shape of that dream is unique to every character and for Jordi, his dreams are deeply, inseparably bound to the Eye of Iberia, the legacy his parents left behind
and it's this dream of becoming someone great, of bringing about that golden age that his parents devoted their lives to help create that ties Jordi to this nothing town because despite everything, despite the mistrust of the townsfolk and the hostility of the Inquisition and the danger from the ocean, he simply cannot leave it behind
(or, because i personally dislike the official translation,)
"I just see this place as my home"
so yeah. not sure what overall point i was trying to make here i'm just. deeply in love with these stories about chosing what is and isn't your home, of saying you will not call a place your home because it has given you no reason to or saying you consider a place your home even though it has given you every reason not to. deeply unwell about them <3
#arknights#asto speaks#not much of an essay writer i just keep thinking about them and i need to force other people to think about them too#thorns story fucks me up bc like. this whole almost found family adjacent idea of like#maybe home isnt something decided by your birth but something you can chose based on what truly matters to you#it just gets to me. i guess.#jordi gets to me in a completely different direction there's nothing personal about it i just find his story *fascinating*#just a guy. a completely normal guy. an absolute nobody caught up in these dreams of greatness while also fully aware of his own normalcy#but never letting either of those overshadow the other. never losing that self awareness or that fuckin obsessive determination#god. what a Character#i love jordi so much like genuinely#i joke a lot about him being just a Guy but thats also kinda like the best thing about him#the fact that he is the way that he is and does all the things he does despite being just a Guy#gently holds#for context i was so hyped about new iberia lore when sn was announced i read the whole thing as soon as it dropped on cn server#cuz someone uploaded all the story sections to bilibili right after it came out#and '我只是把这里当作自己的故乡啊' fucking hit me SO HARD#in like the greater context of elysium demanding to know why hes risking his life in like 5 different ways to return to gran faro#because yeah jordi just doesnt want to leave his home but like we the audience knows the full *weight* of what that home means to him#and the weight of the dreams that made him chose to see Gran Faro as his home and to refuse to let go of that#thats why i like the original a lot more than the translation i think like it really emphasises that active *choice*.#this is the place jordi has *decided* to see as his home and he knows what that means and what it means to him#side note the part on thorns might not actually age well depending on whether hg decides to ever release more aulus lore#i mean i'll gladly take the L if it means more aulus and/or thorns lore like#i just wanna know what (if anything) is tying him to iberia yknow#ak#iberiaposting
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rip やつ you will always be famous (was written as 奴 in the major album’s tracklist)
#i wonder if they’ll change it back when the album actually drops though…#also congrats to minami for being the one and only idol series character to have all of his solo songs in the major album!!!!!!!#watashi no mikata turned into a *narumi* mona song (from her stagename of ‘mona’) what if i cried#no omoiai songs though huh~~~~~~~~ what a pity but i cant say it wasnt expected#rip to no romeo mvm though lmao looks like all the special vids we’re getting are the vomics + hiyori’s mini anime from album 3#i wonder if they’re gonna redub ken and uchida in the vomics… prolly not huh~~#the gen 1 and 2 vomics are so funny though y’all are in for a treat~~~~#i think it’d be nice if they bundled the manga volumes with the album… and if they’d include the gen 1 vol 0 manga with it#since it’s ancient history and all. y’know. i mean; i have the thing (thanks resellers ily) but i think more people should have access to it#sure p much everything in it’s retconned anyway (it takes place when gen 1 were 2nd year students for one) but it’s still really cute~~#but… hmmmmm… that ‘and more’ at the end of the album content listing though…. suspicious….#cmon hw it’s not too late to add minami’s live dances to the bonus disc!!!!!!!!!!!!!#show us bae love in 4k hd!!!!!!!!!!!!!#(ok um i have no idea where i was going with this but this is where we’ve ended up)#(anyways. uh. stay safe!!! good luck!!!!! and!!!!! good night!!!!!!!!)
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goofy ass trainer couple red and jaide would like to battle‼️
#i told myself i wasnt gonna draw today but i saw the oras couple and dropped everything else#suddenly the art power came back#ANYWAYSS RAAGHRHDHDDFHF I USED GOOD PKMN BRUSHES FOR THIS I THINK IT LOOKS NICE#JAIDES HAIR IS A BIT TOO DARK BUT IDC I TURNED OFF THR PUTER#i love the idea of red refusing to lift his leg hes embarrassed hes not gonna let that happen#c'mon red you wouldn't wear matching luvdisc shirts with her and you wont LIFT YOUR LEG?? tsk... he still has a lot to learn.....#JOKES ASIDE I LOVED HOW THIS TURNED OUT ESPECIALLY REDS FACE SINCE. I DONT HAVE MUCH REFERENCES FOR HIS FACE BRRRR#if no ones making the canon red sprite art THEN I WILL 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬#~ art#anyways im hanging this on my wall#i really wanted to do that fake “wants to battle” shot but my resources are lacking and its 5AM#ANYWAYS IM JUST HAPPY I MADE THIS WHEHDHDHSJEJE#♥️ appleshipping#pokemon selfship#selfship#selfshipping#selfship community#i also realized nero did this with my number one otp mikalei i am so dumb dumb#jaide (gameverse).insert
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What do you think the types of drunk would the murder trio be? Im pretty sure ask dusttale already answered this question about dust but i have to ask the mtt expert
see now askdusttale DID answer the question. but they didn't ANSWER the question when asked what dust is like drunk. they just said that dust is the type to drink himself blackout drunk. so that mean i have total freedom on deciding what the mtt are like drunk hehehe (rubs hands together in a villanous way that you would imagine nightmare doing or something idk)
i already have an absolutely hilarious idea for horror and it might just because i'm on the guilt section of his character analysis but i could TOTALLY imagine him being an emotional drunk. like he CRIES. horror sans man known for being incredibly guarded and private with what he feels bawling his eye out. he gets mad he gets sad he does not get happy because horror doesn't have the right to be happy. he is too upset over the fact that he fucking DOOMED all of horrortale because of his selfishness and nothing can stop him from being incredibly vocal about that fact so much so that killer had to tape his mouth shut because he wouldn't stop crying so loud. and then he just silently cries until he passes out from exhaustion. the alcohol has an incredibly strong effect on him because i dont think he would drink regularly plus he definitely hasnt drinken anything in those 7 years of starvation. it hits like a fucking plane crashing into him. or like getting his eye taken out again. either one!
another funny idea i had for killer would be like the alcohol affecting him but he SWEARS that he's still sober. he is very confused when he starts stumbling because wtf he doesnt FEEL drunk??? why is he bumping into walls and tables HELP WHY DOES HE SOUND FUCKING STUPID???? the alcohol is definitely effecting him but he swears he swears he doesn't feel drunk. hes not drunk its just the damn body doing this stupid bullshit!!!! he's still very aware of what's going on and is basically the same as sober but just like. he's wiggly he's wobbly and oh shit he just fell head face first into a tv whoops. he'd also have a high tolerance because just because. he can drink without feeling like shit until he just blacks out mid conversation with someone because his body couldn't take the toll of all the beer or whatever. hilarious idea triglycercule thank you triglycercule i know
dust in the context that we already know that he drinks AND he can fight against the human while like partially drunk.... i feel it would be kinda like a giggly drunk situation. except dust doesn't laugh at anything that's funny he only laughs when someone gets hurt or something. SADISTIC giggly drunk. because i can already imagine a half drunk dust laughing his ass off after killing the human and its a beautiful sight to me.
anyways imagine how it goes when you pair this sadistic giggly drunk with another that wont stop going through the 5 stages of grief and another that keeps on fucking falling over for no reason in his eyes. dream blunt rotation but the blunt is a bottle of vodka. i can already imagine it in my head and its fucking HILARIOUS. horror going on about how he caused the deaths of others and manipulated and tricked papyrus while killer is just trying his best to keep his eyes open because for some reason they won't stop trying to close. he is surprisingly getting frustated. dust has long since lost his voice laughing at this and he's just silent wheezing at everything. also phantom papyrus is only making the laughter worse because he keeps on making rude comments towards horror and killer and only he can hear him and its guffaw inducing. mtt amazing friend group you dont get shit like this anywhere else
#killer's breakdancing and he swears this isnt on purpose guys#GUYS GUYS ITS NOT ME THE BODY IS DRUNK OKAY WHY CANT I STOP WHEN DID I LEARN HOW TO DO THIS#horror has SO much to be guilty over its not even funny. ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY#nobody talks about this but this man is GUILTSTRIFEN. he is literally filled with so much guilt its not even funny#dust and killer have the genocides they did. ok. sure. that's it????#ugh god i dont wanna ramble in tags again..... im just gonna end up saying it in the analysis anyways but ughhhhhhhhhhh#yk what fine i'll rapid fire. trying to keep people from killing themselves. watching his friends die.#knowing that other monsters are getting eaten. worrying papyrus. coming up with a plan he knows wont work and tries make it happen#because that idea of them deconstrucing the core would NOT have worked so he did that out of selfishness#forcing his community to eat humans. tricking papyrus into eating humans. going against all his morals#dare i need say more i swear AND ALL OF THESE ARE SEPERATE THINGS TOO!!!!!!#he single handedly DOOMED horrortale into disarray by destroying the core#the eye idea wouldve worked. it wouldve been the only way monsterkind thrived#and yet he destroyed the core but kept his eye safe. as if one last big fuck you#you can have my eye but you cant have the machine that needs it. good luck bitches#THERE ALREADY WAS FOOD IN SNOWDIN BEFORE HE TOLD THEM TO EAT HUMANS#THERE COULD'VE BEEN ANOTHER WAY TO RATION THE FOOD OR FIND S FOOD SOURCE#BUT HE JUST TOLD TJEM TO EST HUMANS OUT OF SPITE SO UNDYNE WOULDN'T GET THE SOULS#granted it was a solution that worked for the hunger problem BUT HORROR FUCKING HATES IT#HE HATES THE IDEA OF EATING HUMANS HE HATES THE IDEA OF KILLING KIDS#BUT HE STILL DOES IT HE GOES AGAINST ALL HIS MORALS UGHHHHH#horror sans. horror sans my king horror sans my glorious lord and savior#i cannot WAIT to drop that character analysis. it will change lives. and by lives i mean me#i will be a changed man once the horror analysis comes out#anyways WHO IS THIS ANON AGAIN. its a question i always wonder because wtf#you have a daily question for me. this is like a log in event. if i answer all the questions in a row for a week i get a SPECIAL question#but fr thank you so much for your questions i love answering them its so fun to wrack my mind and figure out a way to answer it. brain teas#every time i see the words mtt expert i laugh lowly like an evil villain but i try not let it get to my head#humility is a standard i aim to uphold. one of my character traits. triglycercule character analysis when#tricule asks
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SPERG YOUR HEART OUT
#EVERYONE#NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#& FOREVER#i love it when my friends &/or mutuals post about their interest & Passions i will like your posts but really i Loved them.#i deleted some tags because they might be interpreted as weird(er than usual) but 0_0 i am ♯Passionate about ♯Passion (for fashion - Bratz)#still kind of feel like a worthless human being but i secured another hangout in like a week so yayyy ^_^#I GET TO BOTHER SOMEONE TOO NOW i just wish people did that to me too why am i like always the one raving#literally have to beg my friend to give me updates on her things even if i normally hate it even i go out of my way to look for things#for us to discuss -_- GIRL please i am for real not just faking for politeness who do you think i am I WANT TO KNOW#so effin excited OMG i have like so much to say & the greatest thing is that this girl has no knowledge at all about my Thing#so i can explain from the very beginning You literally have no idea how much i practiced the conversation in my head#ever since she told me & she said she wanted me to go on & talk about it more i have been Devising My Plan#OMG YAYYYY ^_^_^_^_^_^ AIMU SO HEPI AAARRRGHHHHHGSJDJSHSJDHSHSG#& OFC i had to plug it in the first time i met her in person i just could not help myself there was an NF on that day & i told her i wanted#to catch it i had to go in the end for a different reason & BTW it was such a whiplash the show itself was so fun but the winner... 0_0 NO.#next i will ask her about berserk & maybe even read it so we can talk about it because she really likes it#i dropped it when i was 14 because the laptop i was using to read it was complete crap Just like mine is RN#like a section of my keyboard is completely dead T_T so i have to use the on-screen one...
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We're at one of my favorite parts of the story (and probably one of Vash's least favorite parts 😬😬), where we get to see how much Vash's family means to him
In book 1 of trimax, the Doc tells Brad that Vash's concept of family extends to the entirety of the human race
...So a Man revenge-killing a murderer isn't just 2 humans committing various levels of violence against each other (at differing levels of justifiable), it's 2 families members hurting each other and Vash can't bring himself to not try and stop it. Even if you understand *why* they fight, you probably wouldn't want your cousins to kill each other in front of you, right? And Vash struggles with it, because some of these people he's saving really do deserve the bullet reserved for them; but at the end of the day he still doesn't want to watch them to die.
And over the course of volume 1 and 2 of trimax, the story repeatedly brings up the question (either overtly or through subtext) "What would you do if you your family was in danger? What lengths would you go?"
Which leads us to the first big fight for this question when Vash's actual, closest living thing to a loving family is under attack. His anguish is palpable to everyone alive in the room with him, his wrath is close to deadly, and every new room he finds with more puppets just hurts him further. But even when he's faced with a monster that has destroyed his one vestige of safety in the world, even if that monster has talked about how he wants to do the same to him, he still can't bring himself to kill him! He even goes so far to try and spare him!
Not because of any specific moral reasoning (even though he's given one to Dominique before), but because before he was Leonof the Puppetmaster, he was a little boy named Emilio that loved his father's bread and had a crush on a girl named Isabel. He was someone that Vash knew, someone he recognized, and someone he undoubtedly cared for greatly at one point. And even if he couldn't save him, he at least had to try, because he was family at one point too.
And of course, it's not all pain and suffering for Vash, because when he wakes up in the hospital ready to blame himself for not being able to save everyone, Luida cuts him off: He did the best he could, he saved lives despite the losses, and at the end of the day he's still family to them, too. Even if the rest of humanity views him as a menace, there's still someone out there who reciprocates his love in a way that doesn't hurt him.
And boy, you can see how much of a relief (and source of stress it is for him) on his face lmao
#trigunbookclub#trigun#trigun spoilers#nobody else talked about the family stuff yet so I guess that I will lmao#Also it is Not A Coincidence that the chapter titled 'families' where Vash's love is reaffirmed has Knives on the title page#but I can't talk about that yet because I have no idea how to approach that topic yet without dropping massive spoilers lmao#It's such a good volume and it hurts so much anyways Luida please marry me I'll leave my resume on your desk thanks#Vash is the most tired sopping wet cat on the ship despite his better efforts to pretend otherwise#was gonna drop a song here because it fits imo but I'm saving it for a later volume because it fits there too lol#(really it's a good song)#(I'd post it all 3 times I think it fits but I don't wanna tagspam anymore then I'm doing now so I'll post it later)#shoutout to the overhaul project <3
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lonely is the muse is so so precious to me.
yeaaaaaars ago, i wrote a lil poem. obv words are not as golden and lyrical as h’s (they are a genius) but i felt like i heard my poem in a halsey song and that was so fucking unexpected. i don’t share my poems with any other soul but i wanted to for this one.
it’s now canon. lonely and forgotten is the muse.
#halsey i love you SO MUCH#i love halsey too much#lonely is the muse#halsey#im embarrassed#be kind to me i don’t call myself a poet i just write some shit sometimes#poems and shit#dropped a new song go check#i feel a new h inspired tattoo coming#if you see this post and also have litm tattoo ideas drop by we can share ideas
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Hi I saw you reblogged my huntershipping fanfic post with a bunch of kind comments and I just wanted to say thank YOU for writing those fics 😭🙏🏻
Everytime I see that a new fic pops up in the tags I get super excited to read what you’ve written :)))
Your fics cheer me up and brighten my day! ☀️ (I also love how you characterize Ethan and Silver) (they’re so sweet 🥲) (and you’re so sweet too thank you for taking your time to share your work with the community 🥲🙏🏻)
I’ll leave more comments on ao3 when I go back to reread them 🫶🫶🫶
And I hope you have a great week too! 🫂💕 🌈
Hello!!!! 😭😭😭💗💗💗 my apologies for the super late reply, but waughhhh thank you for taking the time to send this sweet message! 🥺🫶 you have to know that seeing my series in your hbslv fanfic rec list already made my day as is, and I was over the moon when I got your ask that day 😭🥺💗💖 thank you for all of your love and support, truly, and I'm glad that I could do ethan and silver's characters justice; they deserve to discover love as a kind and warm joy for them to enjoy together! 🫂
I'm currently writing something for aokabu, but once that's done? I'm BACK at my hbslv brainrot, and hopefully I could pick up from where I left them in the series (either for the dinner gala or them meeting kabu part, hehe) 🥺👍 thank you once again for all of your love, and I hope your weekend treats you as wonderfully and joyful as you made me, op!!! 🫂🫂🫂💗��💗
#i'm smiling to myself like an idiot but hey? me meeting another hbslv enjoyer? who likes the idea of them understanding what love is? how#can i NOT be happy just from receiving your fic rec list + ask waughhhh 😭😭😭💖💖💖 the amount of times i reread your ask is embarrassing#but hey. i'm just that happy haha :') thank you again for taking the time to write that rec list and drop this sweet message! 💗💖#i think i saw your ao3 comment too (though i'm 70% sure that's you)? i'll get back on that very soon. promise 🫡#anyway. once i'm done fistfighting with my aokabu wip i want sooo badly to write about hbslv again. i miss them dearly :')#i swear the fun part about writing them is how this is their first love and i can just... write about the simplest fundamentals about love#and i don't think i'm nowhere near Close in covering all of them so... (looks at my wips) let's hope i can finish it before uni starts again#anyway yeah!!! thank yew so much for dropping by op 🥺🥺🥺 hope you'll have a nice weekend with lots of hbslv crossing your timeline!!! 🫂#writing#ask#sugisprout#onigirikita fanfic
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on a note to all: my plotting style is something i like to call i have adhd and if i see you on the dash and have an idea chances are i’ll im you about it. i’m an anxious little dude who isn’t always active in a broad scope, and it’s always been my nature to reach out to people. that doesn’t make me even remotely anxious. not even remotely expected to answer me — i totally get it, sometimes you don’t feel the vibe — but a general psa about how i work. i come from the dinosaur era where the only way to communicate with one another on any level was to directly talk to them and frankly i don’t even know how else you’re ever supposed to plot with a person otherwise. like… how do you write if you never talk????
#CLAWS RETRACTED.#[honest to god this isn’t shade at anyone im literally just trying to explain i am never on the dash and when i am i take handfuls of rando#snapshots to send to whoever’s in my scope at that second. which is i know ridiculous but when you’re me and you’re mobile 100% of the time#because the other 75% you’re doing everything for everyone in your life it becomes exceedingly hard to WANT to stare at a laptop screen.#even if im home im 100% mobile most of the time. basically what im saying is: as an rper i will totally drop into your im’s randomly if#something strikes my fancy. if that’s not your bag i totally get it. the plotting call life has never been mine to own. a lot of the time#it’ll be a person likes it and then you reach out and it turns into ‘haha neither of us have an idea’ which then kills the whole thing.#hence why -i- tend to approach especially if you reblog something or wishlist it and it crosses my path. like. im so happy to try almost an#anything someone wants to give a shot so long as you feel like playing ping pong with me about it. I’ve always been an exceedingly social#person because i just… love people. and for a person literally exploding with anxiety… I don’t do anxiety about talking to people. I USED#to long ago until I LITERALLY forced myself to just… not give a fuck. but honestly? do it scared and now it’s just fucking do it. I#apologize in advance if I can be a pain in the ass and if it’s not your dig I comprehend an unfollow. im a very involved and interested#writer and frankly it’s how I keep myself able to enjoy this hobby by not making it too serious. like. sometimes I read someone’s rules and#im like Jesus Christ I would love to remember all of this but my brain only has so much ram. idk when the big invisible book of online#etiquette was written but I must have been sleeping in class for that one.]
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thinking about fallout 4 against my will
#random thoughts#fallout#unfortunately nora compels me#the fact the 'hi honey!' tape specifically mentions her 'shaking the dust off' her law degree is interesting#like she gave up her job to stay at home with her husband and kid. why?#like that's a whole year. at LEAST.#love the idea of nate pressuring her into it <3 maternity leave turns into 'isnt it so nice being with sean around the clock?'#'too bad you won't have this quality time when you return to work'#turns into 'you can always return to work if you feel like it but we DO have a lot saved up . . .'#and it's like. okay so fallout 4 would be so much better if it were set in the 1960s. literally no reason it shouldnt be#yknow beyond complying with lore which. it isnt that faithful to in the first place#i just think it's weird the game is like 'here's the FUTURE' and then it's like 'here's the FUTURE FUTURE'#anyway make it the 1960s. give me time-appropriate fucked up family dynamics#and nora's a laywer and a feminist who promised herself she'd never compromise her career for a man#and nate seemed so NICE and like he understood until uh oh. frog in a slow cooker#and he makes everything seem like it's her idea until she's barefoot in the kitchen with a screaming baby on her hip and burnt food in a pan#and she doesn't even realize she's trapped until it's too late. isolated from friends and family#idk ill do more research later to make it more time-accurate (ESPECIALLY interested in second-wave feminism)#anyway i think she cheats. with a door-to-door salesman selling places in the bomb shelters#(honestly probably the only adult social interaction she's had in weeks beyond her husband)#i like to think at some point she had a bit of a car accident due to the stress so nate took her keys#probably just a minor fender bender he blew out of proportion but she believes it because oh god what if she hurt sean#her feelings toward sean are complicated. i dont think she quite loves him which she feels guilty about so she overcompensates#with trying to keep him as safe as possible and she feels like he KNOWS and HATES her#(honestly when the bombs drop everything happens so quickly and when she's in the future and registers sean's gone she feels. so relieved)#(followed by heavy shame)#nate sabotaged her birth control btw. love evil 1960s patriarchs#never outright stated but heavily implied!#anyway nora in the future (while she felt very progressive for her time) feels very out of place#like her ideals have no place. like she has no place
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Incomplete exchange (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Helix#Max Vyer#DAX#*throws idea spaghetti throws idea spaghetti throws idea spaghetti throws#So Max and ZEX changing places - what if that but This lol#It would also be funny to watch Max stumble around in ZEX's body lol but considering ''how'' ZEX got isekai'd...#Not much left probably :| Dark#Really I'm just fascinated by throwing the almost-dynamics into relief hehehe - DAX and Dex so similar! And Max and ZEX similar in some ways#How would DAX react to Max :3c How would Max react to DAX! One of them knows the other - at least at arm's length - but not the other!#Seeing a VUX ''in person'' would probably be a whole other feeling as well haha - there's a familiarity when he's inhabiting ZEX's POV#Still thinks he's dreaming because I mean - would the reality be any easier to swallow? No lol#I guess this would be a scenario before ZEX dies since y'know - DAX is here haha - unless this is some afterlife something???#Both Max and DAX /would/ be dead in that scenario - or would they?? Haha the grey area is the funnest to play in <3#I think it'd be very interesting on DAX's end as well - obviously Max is very different from ZEX but if the language thing works both ways#VUX already have the translators of course but like - Max speaks very differently from ZEX he formulates his sentences very specifically#But if the way he attacks the words the way his accent moves the sounds around - if he speaks like ZEX but not /like/ him - s'interesting!#Would probably confuse the heck out of DAX haha he knows that voice very well!#By the transitive property would that make their accent space New Jersey? No that's too silly haha#I really love Max just dropping years and events out of the blue haha - very important! Written down! Kept track of!#A lot of things he doesn't pay much attention to but he's very careful with his dream data I'm love him <3#I also had So much fun drawing his hands here hehe ♪ His hand expressions have quickly risen to being my favourite :D#ZEX doesn't express with his hands! Which means it's a Max-specific type of thing in his body!#Tells <3
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