#BUT I KEEP GETTING ��NO THOUGHTS ONLY HOWDY”

[clownsuu]

Have you read any welcome home fanfics? What ones to you like or would recommend? Love your art btw! :)

Iv read a few! Though sadly there is very little of what I’d like to read, so I can’t really say any recommendations as of current 😔🥄🥄

also take some sleep deprived doodles JDGDDDH

cw obsessive behavior

He just like me fr fr

[slumbergoblin]

hey

[sizablelad]

the hbomb video has inspired me to think a lot about the video essay culture on youtube and, in general, the academic institution of Queer Theory. there's a lot to be said about how Queer Theory as an academic pursuit has a very different and much more rapid ascent to prominence than a lot of other disciplines that affects the work done in it today. a badillion scholars, particularly scholars of color who because of their positionality might recognize these things out of the isolation of Queer academia, are presently discussing the state of Queer Theory as an academic pursuit and what the goals of this research can/should be, but that's a huge and complicated topic that others know more about.

at a more basic level, i feel like the sheer popularity of the video essay format as academic scholarship but for the Masses has inspired a lot of people without the basic training on how to do research to do research. i mean i'm only a frackin undergrad, but in high school i participated in a program specifically designed to teach us the basic foundation of how to do quality original research. and, simply put, it's a lot less glamorous and a lot more rigorous than people realize (including me-- i've only had a taste of what this research involves from a program that obviously has a limited scope; also only from a humanities perspective). there's a really important part at the very beginning of your research when you figure out the gap, then scope of your research. you have an idea of "oh this topic interests me and i think i want to add to the knowledge around it" and then you figure out a gap in the research that could be addressed by your own research. so i was interesting in queer characters and the potential differences when queer characters are written by queer authors vs non queer authors. so then you conduct a literature review to find out, okay, what research has been done on this topic? what has already been done, how useful would my perspective be on this research, what hasn't been addressed, how can i adjust my research goals so that i am not just conducting a review of others' research, but adding something new to the field. which, conducting a literature review and stopping there is fine! that's okay! but that is different from a goal of doing original research which says something new, and doing that requires a very symbiotic process of review and adjustment between your own research goals and the reality of the research that's already been done.

so i guess in a case like somerton's, he might genuinely want to add something to the field. maybe he loves the ideas he talks about and wants to be like the people that put those ideas to paper. but either he doesn't know how to do research so he gets stuck at doing a historical literature review, or is embarrassed that he might be "not as smart" as the community of people he admires and wants to be a part of, or maybe he just wants to make a quick buck. i don't know. but even if that's the case, him and people like him have demonstrated that they do have the skills to at least find past research, so why not just acknowledge the reality of what you're doing and say "hey look at this research i found and find interesting, i'm going to introduce you, my audience, to these people's work" and emphasize collaborations with the people who's work you're talking about. like with the internet historian video, obviously the video was very well done and funny and enjoyable to watch, and his methodology is different from someone like illuminaughtii's content mill production, which obviously requires a way different approach. what would've headed the WHOLE thing off is if he reached out to the og journalist and said "i read your article and am thinking about doing a video on it, want to endorse (.....and profit from) it?" but that would be assuming a lot of these people are good faith actors, which they aren't.

i don't really know what my point is here. maybe experts in their field are experts for a reason? the academic institution and it's scholarship have it's problems (boy does it), but at least there's processes in place to ensure academic integrity? the video essay as a genre is a cursed hellscape that is a great idea in theory but has been taken over by bad faith actors? misinformation is a plague partially perpetuated by people claiming they act in good faith and audiences can't be expected to constantly be on alert for the myriad of ways creators can take the good will of their audiences and manipulate it for their own personal agendas?

on a side note, this is why (at least, during my more intense youtube days) i tended to be suspicious of youtubers who would either 1) make a lot of research-intensive essays about a lot of different topics in a relatively short amount of time, or 2) make videos about things completely unrelated to their background. i have a hard time believing that jimbob the youtuber was able to become an expert and produce high quality of research in a topic they'd never previously publicly expressed knowledge or interest in. obviously there are exceptions, but with the proliferation and popularity of the video essay it seems like the well has been poisoned in that so many bad faith actors, realizing it's potential, have entered and been proven as bad actors on the video essay scene that it's impossible to see it as a genre with blanket integrity. i don't know the exact history of the genre, but i have to believe that this was not nearly as big a problem as it was before now.

[sammylkcho]

Hello

Heard you were doing epic requests...Telemachus x reader, if you already had ideas for this x reader go for it, if not, maybe the reader is a servant at the palace or it takes place after I can't help but wonder. No pressure to actually do this btw, I'm sure you getting too many requests to keep up with.

Have a nice day! <3

Howdy! I liked the idea of the request, and to make it less challenging for me to write, I decided to make Reader a personal (or close) servant to Telemachus

Warnings/Notes: none!

"Prince Telemachus, would you like me to bring up your dinner tonight? The suitors are still eating and helping themselves to numerous trays of food," you informed him in a formal tone, awaiting his response to see what orders he would give you.

Lately, Telemachus had opted to dine in the comfort of his room to avoid discomfort or any comments from his mother’s suitors. It wasn’t exactly proper, especially for him as the prince, since he was expected to accompany their "guests."

You had tried to gently persuade him, following his mother’s orders, not to be discourteous by leaving the suitors to dine alone. In the end, all those efforts were in vain. You understood that the prince had his reasons for avoiding the same table as them.

With your hands clasped behind your back, occasionally fidgeting nervously, you waited for the prince’s reply—even though you already had a good idea of what it would be.

"I'm not hungry, but thank you," the prince informed you, his tone clearly disheartened and subdued.

You made a visible grimace of displeasure and concern at his words. His demeanor didn’t sit well with you—not that you hated it, but his spirits hadn’t been the same since his argument with Antinous. Each passing day seemed to weigh on him more heavily, especially as the suitors grew increasingly impatient over the lack of a king being chosen.

You bit your lower lip, a tinge of doubt crossing your mind about what to do next. You didn’t want to simply fulfill your role as a servant this time.

Deciding to break that boundary, even if only for a moment, you chose to be Telemachus’s close friend—the one who had stood by his side all these years.

Without needing to say a word, you sat down beside him on the bed. That alone was enough to draw his attention.

The dim light of the two torches flickering in the room seemed to conspire in your favor, casting its glow over the prince’s face. You could see the bruises on his skin, now less swollen—a marked improvement from how they had looked just days ago—and the shadows forming under his eyes, the evidence of sleepless nights spent training or lost in thought.

You remembered those nights. The times you stayed up with him, watching him practice with his wooden sword when you were both still children, or when the two of you would sneak out of the castle. You thought of the moment he had cried in front of you, overcome by the helplessness of not knowing how to rid his home of the men who were taking everything from him—from his family’s food to their dignity.

Maybe it was instinct, or perhaps just muscle memory. As if your body already knew what to do, your hands rose gently to cradle his face.

Your thumb moved softly across his cheek, avoiding the areas where the wounds from his fight with Antinous were still tender.

“We’ll get those men out of here, and they’ll leave your mother alone, I promise.” You whispered, almost afraid that anyone other than him might hear.

Why were you the one making that promise? A simple servant of the castle, tasked with daily mundane duties, with no power except to stand by your prince. You prayed silently to the gods that your words would not be empty, that someday those men would be gone, and Odysseus would return to the home he’d left behind so long ago.

“That.. I swear by the gods, especially by the goddess Athena herself, they couldn’t have given me anyone better than you.” Telemachus murmured.

His voice was just a whisper, so soft that you almost doubted if you had heard him, but the weight of his words filled the space between you with a profound meaning.

Time seemed to pause as you felt his hand, warm and firm, resting over yours. It wasn’t scorching hot or uncomfortably cold; it was just the right warmth, as though it belonged there.

“That punch you gave Antinous must still be giving him a headache. Next time, land an even stronger one for me, but make sure you come out unscathed, okay?” you teased, trying to lighten the mood.

For a moment, something flickered in his eyes before a quiet, sheepish laugh escaped him. You couldn’t help but laugh along.

“With Athena’s strength on my side, I’ll make it happen,” he replied with a newfound confidence, his spirits slowly lifting.

Heat rushed to your face, crawling torturously to your cheeks, and you cursed inwardly, hoping the blush wasn’t too obvious to him.

“It better be. I’d rather not see your face battered again or listen to you complaining while I try to patch you up.” You joked, letting out a soft laugh as he groaned in mock protest.

You treasured moments like these. There were no suitors to humiliate him, no interruptions to break the fragile bubble of peace around you. It was just you and him.

And in your heart, you kept praying to the gods. For Odysseus to return soon. For a way to rid the castle of those men. For these fleeting moments of calm to last just a little longer.

[themultifanshipper]

howdy my friend how are you. quick question. elaborate on the whole "sometimes lando likes being the one getting railed" because aw fuck i can't get the thought of him just. completely fucked out. ruined. curls everywhere. face flushed. legs trembling bc it feels so good. tears down his cheeks and he's saying "too much too much" but when you try to pull away he just grabs you back bc he can't have another ruined orgasm. poor boy is a mess but edging him is just so fun :((((

Sort of a follow-up to this and that lando blurb.

When Lando's in a subby mood there's no getting around it. He will spend all his time trying to rile you up to get you to fuck him.

Warnings: gn!reader , sub!lando, overstimulation, dacryphilia? multiple orgasms, bit of subspace, aftercare

He'll quietly crawl onto your lap while you're working, not unlike a cat, looking for attention.

But once he has what he wants, which is you pounding into him from behind, he won't shut up for a single second.

His whines are loud as fuck, and when you find his prostate they quickly turn into shrill cries of despair. He is very sensitive, even to the light touches along his back or his arse. He always comes at least once on your fingers while you open him up, before you've even got a chance to slide into him.

You tried to edge him a few times, but even without much stimulation he would just come all over himself anyway, so you quickly took to overstimulating him instead.

He'll buck and whine as you fuck him hard immediately, but he got himself into this situation by being a needy little bitch so you carry on at the pace you want, sometimes teasing him by going so slowly that he falls apart without you doing much of anything.

Your hands are always firmly planted in his hair, pulling, making him arch his back as tears run down his cheeks but he just keeps begging and taking it like a champ, letting you bend his body any which way you choose. Usually these moods come when he's had a bad weekend or if he's a bit stressed and needs to let go. And that's exactly what he does, as he lets you bend him over every surface, giving him everything you've got and more as he begs like a slut for it.

Once he actually starts sobbing you start to pull out but his hands quickly fly to anything he can hold on to, to stop you from leaving him. Grabbing harshly onto your hips to keep you inside, not knowing his own strength as you're forced (but willing) to comply to his every demand. Not that he needs to demand, or even ask politely, this state just comes naturally to him, and you’re more than happy to please him.

“Please” and “Uggghhh” are the only things he's capable of saying because the pleasure is just so intense, too much but too little at the same time and it will ruin him if you stop. His eyes will roll back into his skull as it overwhelms his entire body, from your hands in his hair, down to his toes, as his body thrums with electricity, like a live wire that you're tapping into.

After a few orgasms he'll just go limp and pliant, still begging, like his body was just made to take it as it opens up for you, to take and use for your own pleasure.

Those are the times where Lando needs a bit of help coming back to the present with soft touches and kisses all over his body. Having him so vulnerable is an absolute privilege, and you take care of him for hours after, making sure he drinks, has a snack and a nice bubble bath before he's allowed to go to sleep.

On the verys rare occasions where he's not bent over, he'll ride you just to show you how good he is for you as he sets his own pace, hips stuttering at the unusual angle. Being a professional athlete means that he will always try to push himself by going for hours, his boundaries often ignored in favour of his pleasure so you need to observe carefully for when he starts cramping up or slowing down out of exhaustion. That's when you'll turn him over and pound into him from above as he pants into your mouth, clinging onto you and babbling nonsense like “I love you” and “So good to me” as you stroke him slowly to completion one last time before pulling out and going to get the water and snacks.

You two are unhinged for each other, but whoever’s turn it is to be a whore for the night, you both know you'll be cared for in the best way.

[yandere-wishes]

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆Doc-Ringo⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

✮ Yandere! Boothill x Reader

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Plot: There's a slick black-clad little gal who's been messing with his bounties recently. Boothill's been dying to rustle her up and take a bite

⁀➷ Warnings: Yandere behavior, blood, and gore, war trauma, Genie trying to do a cowboy accent.

⁺₊𝄞₊⁺: Crimson and Clover by Joan Jett

And I don't hardly know her,

But I think I can love her,

Ah, now when she comes walking over,

I've been waiting to show her,

My mind's such a sweet thing

I want to do everything

What a beautiful feeling

It's not like the movies, they fed us on little white lies.

~💜

The first time he sees you there's a tempest of bullets rattling off his chest. Metal singing metal, as shells vie for an opening. It's all very lethal,

like the center of a rabid dust storm. Kissing death and sucking in her poison. Boothill can't tell where the bullets are coming from only that there's a dozen at a time ringing over his head. He shields his face with the metal of his forearms peaking through the gap to catch a glimpse of black.

Pure black.

That's the first thing he notices as your frenzy yields, You're clad in black from head to toe, even going so far as to dawn an eerie familiar mask. He's seen this scene play out somewhere before, he just can't remember where. "Morning mister", he likes that voice, jejune and teeming with confidence. It reminds him of himself, back when the sunset used to mean something and he could still feel wheat stocks under his soft palms.

"Howdy lil'lady I reckon you're in my way. Mind stepping aside before you get yourself hurt?" Your answer comes in the form of an aimed pistol, spine straight, midnight serape caught on the wind. He thinks you look a little too much like the folks back home -back when there was a home- blood boiling over eager for a fight. His bounty is standing just over yonder, blocked partly by your stubborn shadow. Boothill doesn't think twice before firing two rounds.

He's met with four...

He's in a cheap motel on Penacony, screwing in bolts that came loose. In the end, you laid claim to his bounty. Dragging him away to the hills. He's left growling at the thought, bested by a muddle-fudging fox. Lil gal probably ain't never even been in a proper shoot-out. The screwdriver cracks under his metal fingers. Boothill ain't about to start letting some pretty little thing get in the way of him and his targets.

The TV screen flickers to a melancholy monochrome. The films are old, distorted, crippled in parts. But he keeps them around, much like everything else about him, it's a bygone thing refusing to die.

He still likes to play them from time to time, trying to elicit the tastes of home. Hearing Nick and Graey setting plates out for dinner as his siblings rush downstairs. The movies are older than the new universe in more ways than one.

They come from a simpler time.

He'd always wondered why someone would bother painting such precious things in black and white. Spilling melancholia into picture frames, leaving everything tasting of vodka and vanilla.

It doesn't matter though, not really. All that matters is the sound of hooves on sand and bullets shooting. So long as the cowboys live their stories, everything else can be forgiven.

But this time something's off. The bandit's black mask shines through, gleaming something awful making him grind his sharp teeth. That damn mask, sitting pretty over a sly smirk. it reminds him of you, little cutie with your slick attitude. What bandit goes around doing hero's work anyway? What kinda twisted little lady are you?

He's getting mighty sick of this. Do you think you own the universe or something? "Been seeing way too much of you lately." There's sand in his Synesthesia Beacon his voice coming out horse, brittle. He kicks the head of an IPC lackey trying to drive home a point. "You getting on my nerves cutie". The ground looks nothing short of a graveyard, bodies scattered some piled. The blood paints the sands in a deep maroon, reflecting the glint of the distant stars. The last soldier is cowering behind you, his whimpers singing in Boothill's ears, one more bullet, that's all it'll take. "This one's mine" you mutter, and he wonders for a moment if the dry weather is getting to you too. "Not a chance pumpkin" his gun's drawn, firing bullets before you can even feel for your holster. The smirking bullet impales your abdomen, aimed point blank at the officer's head. But before the last body can be claimed you kick the man out of the way.

"Damn it" Boothill's anger is tangible, he knows you can feel it between your teeth. He's going to kill you, tear off that star-saken mask, and riddle you with bullets. You're getting too confident.

He doesn't notice your bullets at first. Protostars trying to act all rough and mighty. There's a temporary cluster of dust, a fraction of a second where his eyes aren't pinning you down. That's all it takes and then you're off. Sinking into the darkness and swimming away, taking his target with you.

It's only after the initial anger wears off that Boothill notices a tear on his thigh. A letter scrawled on the frayed leather of his pants. So you've started leaving your own marks, ay cutie?

He almost wishes he could feel the sting of your blade on his flesh. Feel your nails scrapping along his shoulders as he pins you to the ground.

Boothill fires at the moon.

Next time.

Next time for sure....

He's been chasing you for some time now. But catching up with you isn't as easy as he first thought. Seems like you go wherever the wind takes you and he's too busy with revenge to be following your capricious whims. The IPC ain't going to kill itself you know. And Boothill damn well wishes you'd start sitting still. He's heard from a reliable source that the IPC soldiers are throwing a little get to together down in one of the bars. Just a happy birthday for a colleague, nothing fancy. The thought alone makes his mouth water, place will be crawling with pests just waiting to be gunned down. Maybe tomorrow he'll try looking for you again, but tonight? Tonight's his night.

The neons have dulled now, they never were terribly bright to begin with. Penacony may be the land of dreams but not even dreams can stop reality from seeping through. The bar's loud, some new pop singer's music blasting from every speaker. Boothill downs his drink, liking how the ice cubes chime like a bad omen. He shoots the speakers first, needing some peace to focus on what comes next. The peace corp's lackeys are drunk, they stumble over themselves trying to reach him. He shoots each one like a kid playing carnival games. It's almost too easy...

The door is stampeded over by a heard of reinforcements. Somehow even in his drunken daze one of those yella-bellied lapdogs called for help. They're swarming the place like panicked rats, pushing past tables and chairs. Firearms aimed at his head. And for the first time, in a long, long time, Boothill feels a sliver of panic run down his bionic spine.

Motherfudger...

Boothill hears the familiar tumult of bodies hitting the ground before he sees what's actually going on. He feels you before he actually sees you. You're pushed up against his back, guns drawn locked, and loaded. "Heard you needed some help" Even though you offer your usual bravado, Boothill still picks up the nervous lilt in your voice, despite everything he thinks he likes it. It almost tastes sweet. "Best get away before you get yourself hurt little fox." "And let you have all the fun? Never."

"Certe murmur pugnando" Boothill laughs, he remembers those very words coming from a buddy of his before a duel. 'At least we'll die fighting' Somethings never change, even if you've carved out every principle from your body with a rusted kitchen knife. You'll always have those pesky morals stuck inside. He hears you chuckle, wonders if you find it odd that a rowdy galaxy ranger such as himself knows a dead language.

Well, he knows a lot about the dead.

The shoot-out lasts longer than he'd have expected.

But the real surprise lies in how neither of you are dead. Boothill's half laid across the bar, looking at you from under his hat. You're making him a drink following his instruction like a good little wife, not contradiction dressed in ebony. Gunpowder withers on his tongue, the bullet smoke permeates the air mixing with the gleeful tang of spilled blood. "Your drinks sure are complicated" you mutter pushing him his cup before picking up a bottle and reading its labels. "What's so hard about it pumpkin? Little bit of white gem and gin. All's you need." He sips your drink slowly, savoring your flavor. He imagines he's gulping you down, holding you for ransom behind his teeth, feeling your delicate little fists pounding against him. "I don't drink" you mumble as you sit across from him, you look so damn elegant, like a little princess from a fairy tale he use to read to a certain someone. You drink deeply from your glass of ice and water. Boothill focuses on the gentle motion of your throat. He licks his lips, trying to push down the thought of ringing such a fragile thing between his palms.

"So little lady, s'about time you start answering some questions...The hell you doing? Running off with my targets?" You set your cup down, eyes locking on his, there's the deficiency he's missed all night. The trigger hair that's just waiting for the right push. "They're not your targets...not really. They're just people. People whose planet got muffed up. I've been trying to gather them all in one place." For a second Boothill thinks you're talking about his planet, his home, his people. But it only takes one more look at you to understand.

"So, how'd yours die?" There's shrapnel in his throat when he asks, open wounds bleeding once more, filling his throat with bitter memories.

You stiffen, and he knows he's thumbing a broken bone, letting his finger dig between the cracks and snapping their frail linings. "Don't know, wasn't there. All I ever got to see were a few limbs, nothing enough to make a full person." you squeeze the glass until your knuckles turn white.

There's vindication rooted in your veins.

He knows the feeling all too well.

"We ain't so different you and I, reckon we make a pretty good team." His metal fingers lace between your soft skin, tracing the lifelines like an old map.

There's a goldmine hidden behind your lips, he imagines he'll have to kiss you to find the little nuggets. Your lips part, eyes filled with an odd-looking sympathy. What he wouldn't give to feel your plump lips bleed between his jagged teeth. "So..." you ask as his mechanic heart skips a beat. "What about yours?"

You've been laughing for five whole minutes. Boothill shouldn't find the noise as ethereal as he does. His anger lays heavily on his bones, he should be even angrier, lounging a bullet through your thick skull. But he finds the noise a little too perfect to disturb its source. Even if it's only created at his expense. Instead, he has half a mind to slap you, hard enough to shut you u and another to kiss you so hard you forget to breathe. "Damn hell so funny, cutie"

You look at him with those luminous eyes. Filled with pain and riddles. Boothill never did like solving puzzles. He only likes tearing things into bits. He needs you spartan, easy to read and use, and kiss. Not something he needs to piece together first.

"Dear stars you have no freaking idea how ironic you are." You say between bursts of spiteful-rooted giggles.

Why do those words sound so haunting like a ghost kiss? they should open phantom pains, but they sure as hell don't. Why do you always leave his head spinning? Boothill rolls his eyes, then leans over to pull down your mask. You jerk back, rewarding him with a dark grimace. You're out the window before he can ask your name.

"See you next time, cowboy"

"Next time I'm drawing blood"

The moment's over.

Fiddlesticks..

That night, Boothill dreams of you. He's lying in a stiff musty bed. It's too dark, even the moon is scared of showing her face.

Boothill dreams of the old saloons back home. Of their cracked wooden floorboards and the worn-out plush of chairs. In the dreams, you're wearing a black lace gown, like the saloon girls used to. He finds it all too funny that even in his dreams you still haunt him in black. Only now you're smiling, really smiling. Not that sly smirk, or mirthless grin you gave him back in the bar on Penacony. No, this here is a genuine smile and he's damn sure he's the one who put it there. You reach out for his hand, he feels warmth.

His

Yours

The dream is thick and dense like swimming through molasses. In another scene he's dragging you through the old doors, laughing as bullets and card chips hit the floor. There's a horse waiting outside. His horse. At least he thinks it used to be his. He pulls you up roughly in front of him. He's high off the feeling of his fingers wrapped around the rugged reins. High off the steed he holds in a vice grip between his thighs.

He's riding faster than he's ever ridden before, clambering for the sunset trying to engulf the sun. You hold on tight, pressing your cheek to his chest. His heart is beating something fierce between his ribs. He feels like an Aeon watching the universe collapse under his galloping feet.

He feels alive.

With the sun's rays behind you, Boothill could almost mistake you for the star-dwelling angels Nick used to tell him about. There's something poetic in all of this. The cowboy standing off against the black fox.

Dare he call it cinematic?

Boothill creeps closer. Tilting his hat and watching you flash a nervous smile through his lashes. "Volo sentire te inter dentes meos" so you know that dead tongue too. "You will soon darling, that's what I'm hoping for" his reply only dwindles your smile.

He's missed the old duels. Missed staring into the eyes of the one who could kill you. It's all a matter of skill and luck. Whose faster, who the aeon will trust?

Somewhere in the distance, the tumble weeds begin to rattle.

"Now"

His bullet glides through the air, piercing through the dust and sand. Your bullet reverberates from your gun a fraction too late and ricochets past his cheek. Leaving a juicy trail of blood.

But his bullet was aimed at your chest.

And Boothill never misses...

You want vengeance he won't deny you it.

So long as you stay by his side.

He'll tuck you away somewhere safe.

Somewhere you won't be leaving him again.

Boothill cradles your body to his chest. "I promised you blood little fox, and Boothill never goes back on his word." His cheeks hurt from smiling as he lays his hat atop your head. He's Picking you up and walking into the sunset. He knows a good ol'doc who'll patch you right up. And then it's a happy life together.

Well for him anyway.

The end

Taglist: @hihellomy @salhanskkdbfkekfb @gasoline-eater @sp1cym0chi

[faithisyours]

Skinny Dipping

Chapter 2 of The List

Vi x Fem!reader

Summary: you surprise Vi with a trip to go do something off her list, skinny dipping. + a little extra at the end.

cw: Heavy petting but no actual smut, nudity, mentions to smut, mentions of food, a little emo Vi at the end, overall tooth rotting fluff

Word Count: 2.6k

an: Howdy! Hope everyone’s 2025 is off to a good start. As promised, here is chapter 2. This fic can be read as a stand alone, but it would probably make more sense if you read chapter 1. Also I’d like to mention that the time frame is off in this whole fic but I’m gonna try and speed run through the seasons to match up to what it is where I am. Next week we’re building a blanket fort. And if you have any ideas, let me know. Men and minors dni.

Ch 3

It had been almost a week since you pitched the idea of the list to Vi. She had been taking it very seriously, adding at least one thing every day. She had also been quite protective of it, keeping it close whenever you wanted to see it, moving it away from your gaze, blatantly closing it when you walked in the same room as her. You reminded her that it had been your idea to begin with, and that in order to do all of the things she was writing down, you would eventually have to see it. She simply claimed she wanted to be done writing it before she shared it with you. Fair enough.

Her not sharing it wasn’t an issue, though, considering you supplied the first thing on that list. You remembered the giddy look in her eye when you told her to add it, the way she wrote it as the first thing on the list, the kiss she gave you on the cheek as thanks for the idea. And since it was about the only one you knew for a fact was there, you were determined to surprise her sooner rather than later with it. It was also nearing late fall, and the nights were growing colder. You would have to plan fast in order to make this an actually enjoyable experience and not just turn yourselves into human popsicles.

So, you kept an eye on the weather, thought of a nearby lake that would be a good spot, and planned all the logistics down to the T. And then, you waited.

—

You were sitting at the kitchen island when you heard the sound of a key unlocking the door to your apartment, announcing Vi was finally home.

“How was work?” you asked as you stood up and walked towards her.

“Oh, ya know…same as always,” she sighed, wrapping her arms around you and giving you a quick kiss.

“Well, I was wondering if you maybe, possibly wanted to accompany me this evening for a surprise?” You said it innocently enough, but Vi still gave you the most suspicious look in the history of suspicious looks.

“Did you get your hands on my notebook?” she asked accusingly, squinting her eyes and pulling away from your hug slightly.

“No, I did not. And this has nothing to do with that,” you lied, tilting your nose up in mock-indignation. She squinted her eyes even more at you.

“Right, okay,” she surveyed you, then dropped her suspicion. “Well, yes, I would love to join you. Where are we going?”

“I’m not telling you that, it’s a surprise!” You pushed her lightly on the shoulder, playfully annoyed.

“Okay, okay, fine. Just tell me what I need to do,” she surrendered.

“All you need to do is nothing. And then meet me in the car in ten minutes.” You gave her a kiss on the cheek, grabbed your bag and keys, and hurried your way down to the car.

You wanted to make sure nothing gave away the surprise, so you made sure any damning evidence was in the trunk, and then covered it all with a blanket. When you were satisfied, you plopped down into the driver's seat and waited for Vi, which didn’t take long considering you took a big chunk of that ten minutes finagling the trunk.

When Vi got into the passenger seat, the suspicious look was back on her face. You had your poker face on, however, and would not be giving anything away until you got to your destination.

You were half way into the drive, the sun setting slowly before you, when Vi decided to start grilling you on where you were going.

“Is it something off the list? At least tell me that!” she prodded. You figured there wasn’t any harm in telling her it was. It narrowed the options down, sure, but it would get her excited.

“Okay, yes, it is something off the list. But before you go accusing me, no, I did not go snooping. I remembered some of the things you wrote down and this is one of them. But just stop speculating, alright. It’s supposed to be a surprise.” You squeezed her hand, which was holding yours on her lap.

Your admission settled her speculation, and for the rest of the drive the two of you listened to music and chatted about your day. The conversation seemed to distract her, because when you pulled into the small, blessedly empty, dirt parking lot, indicating you had made it to your destination, her suspicion finally returned. She eyed you up, but you only gave her a smile as you got out of the car and popped the trunk.

Pulling the blanket aside, you grabbed the duffle bag with the towels in it and threw it over your shoulder. Vi finally came around to join you at the back of the car, but by that time you had already fixed the blanket back over everything and were closing the trunk. She eyed the duffle suspiciously, but when you beckoned her to follow you, she did.

You were a little surprised she hadn’t said anything yet. You had taken her to this lake a couple summers ago when everyone came out to celebrate Ekko’s birthday, but you would admit that it looked much different now that autumn was upon it.

You took Vi’s hand in yours as you walked down the short trail towards the lake. And once you rounded that corner and the shore opened up, Vi gasped, gave you a look that said, “oh my god, THIS is what we're doing?!?!” and kissed your cheek so hard you thought it might bruise.

The lake wasn’t big. You could probably swim from one side to the other in less than 5 minutes. But it got the job done. And it was empty, thank goodness. The last rays of light bounced off the water's surface, making it sparkle. And the thick forest surrounding it made for good privacy. It was all absolutely perfect.

You walked your vibrating-with-excitement girlfriend down towards the shore, plopping the duffle bag down next to a big oak that’s canopy arched over the water. And then you began to strip.

It wasn’t super cold out yet, but as you removed layers of clothing, goosebumps spread all across your skin. And you knew the water was guaranteed to be colder. Vi started stripping, too, only when she stopped ogling the fact you were taking your clothes off in front of her. You watched as she peeled her sweatshirt off, pulled her shoes and socks off faster than you’d seen anyone ever do that, took off the worn grey tee-shirt you sometimes slept in cause it smelled so much like her, and stepped out of the black cargo pants she had a million pairs of. She ogled, you ogled.

With both of you left in just your underwear, Vi closed the small space between the two of you and kissed you, hard, with tongue, bringing her warm hands up to caress your face. She pulled away just as fast, but it still left you both a little breathless. You don’t know exactly why you started giggling, but whatever it was, Vi was feeling a similar way, because she giggled right along with you.

“May I?” she asked, pulling lightly on the strap of your bra.

“Of course. May I?” you asked, pointing to her sports bra.

“Well, it's only fair,” she responded, a goofy smile tilting her lips.

She unclasped your bra, which was a hell of a lot easier than you attempting to pull her sports bra off, but you made it, now both topless. You leaned in, kissing her long and deep as you pulled the hem of her boxers down over her hips, getting her completely naked. She mirrored the act, and soon enough you were both completely naked, shivering slightly.

“Okay,” you grabbed her hand and faced the water, “on the count of three, we run in.” Out of the corner of your eye you could see her nodding, albeit reluctantly.

“One,” You took a step forward, “two,” you took another one, this time Vi taking it with you, “three!” and then you were running towards the water, Vi right next to you, laughing breathlessly.

“Holy fuck, its cold.” You were now chest deep in the water, the sandy bottom squishing between your toes. Vi was right next to you, grinning ear to ear, and even though it was fucking cold, you couldn’t help but grin right back at her. Sure, this had been your idea to begin with, but as soon as Vi had added it to her list, it had become one of her goals, one of her dreams. And you couldn’t help but feel over the moon about helping her bring it to life.

After a minute or two in the water, the cold wasn’t as noticeable, but it didn’t really matter considering Vi had started kissing you, again, and you had a hard time considering anything else when that happened. Her hands had come up to your face, pulling you deeper into it. You grabbed her waist, pulling her closer, wrapping your arms around her. One of her hands came down to your chest, cupping your breast, fingers gliding over your nipple. You moaned, the sound getting caught by Vi’s mouth. You needed to be closer, were going to die if you didn’t get closer. One of your hands skated all the way down her back and grabbed her ass, pulling her in, causing legs to tangle. It was her turn to moan, a sound you would kill people to hear again and again. Both of you were frantic to get flistfulls of the other. You were lost in it, nothing unusual, but you had to remember you were in a potentially public place. And that was not a kink you wanted to find out you had today.

So with unbelievable effort, you pulled away, the space between you being filled now with hot, panting breaths. “As much as I would love to fuck you in this lake, I’d like to remind you that we are in a semi-public space,” you said.

She sighed. “Alright. And it is pretty fucking cold, isn’t it?” You nodded in response. “And it's getting pretty dark. Better get back to the car,” she reasoned.

“Only if you want to, babe. This was your surprise, I want you to get everything you want out of it,” you countered. You didn’t want to cut her surprise short just because you were cold. If she wanted to stay longer, you would gaslight yourself into believing you couldn’t feel cold. Anything for her.

“Well, considering I’m naked in a lake, I’d consider this a success. And it is getting late, and I’m getting kinda hungry. I think it’s fair to say we can head back to the car now.”

You nodded in response, giving her an acknowledging smile. Hand-in-hand, you walked out of the water, only to be met with the chilly night air. You rushed over to the duffle bag, flung it open, and cocooned yourself in the first towel within reach. Teeth chattering, you watched Vi follow suit, albeit not as frantic.

“We should do this again,” you said between gritted teeth, “when it’s warmer, though.”

Vi chuckled, shaking her head. “I’m just glad you remembered to bring towels.”

“Oh, I brought a lot more than just towels,” you said, your attempt at cockiness negated by your shivering. “Just wait till you see what else is in the car.”

“Well, now I’m even more excited,” she responded. Vi had been toweling herself dry and was about to get redressed when she surveyed you, still dripping in places and shivering. “Okay, let me help you dry off, since I seem to be more immune to the chill than you.” She gave you a crooked smile, stepping closer and grabbing the edges of your towel.

“Ya, alright,” was all you managed before Vi started patting you down, moving the towel over your arms and belly, then pulling it completely off you to dry your legs. She made sure you were pretty much completely dry before grabbing your shirt and pulling it over your head, forfeiting your bra. She grabbed a sweatshirt next, which happened to be the one she had been wearing earlier, but she didn’t seem to mind when she pulled it down over your head.

“I can manage the rest, I think,” you said, giving her a kiss on the cheek. She nodded, then started redressing herself, also forfeiting her bra and eventually pulling on your sweatshirt. Once you both were dressed and adequately warmed up, you shoved the wet towels, dirty socks, and both bras into the duffle bag. And then arm-in-arm, you walked back to the car, giggling as you went.

When the car came into sight, you popped the trunk using the key and watched it slowly rise open. You put the duffle bag down and removed the blanket, revealing a wicker basket, a medium sized cooler, and an extra pile of blankets.

“I figured alongside skinny dipping we could also have a picnic,” you said as you pulled the wicker basket and cooler forward, flipping the top on both to uncover what you had packed. In the basket there were meats, cheeses, crackers, fruit, and veggies, and in the cooler was a bottle of sparkling cider, dip for the veggies, and some ice cream sandwiches you were praying weren’t completely melted yet.

You glanced towards Vi, concerned slightly by her silence, and found her pouting, holding back tears. She scooped you up into a hug, squeezing tight. She was so incredibly thankful, but you knew that if she said it out loud she'd actually start crying, so you just nodded your head, gave her a small, knowing smile, and kissed her on the forehead.

You watched as she took a couple deep breaths and collected her thoughts, then looked around back towards the lake, her eyebrows knitting in concern. Before she could say anything though, you said, “We can eat here, if that's what you're thinking.” She nodded, giving you a knowing smile. You seemed to always be able to read her mind.

Collectively you laid out one of the blankets on the bed of the trunk, turned on the car to blast the heat and provide some toons, and unpacked the food and arranged it between the both of you. You ate, talked, and simply enjoyed each other’s company.

Eventually, though, it came time to pack up, so you reloaded the car, making sure you didn’t leave anything behind, and began the drive back home. With the radio low and a blanket draped across her lap, however, Vi was helpless to the call of sleep, and began softly snoring half way back to the apartment. You watched her out of the corner of your eye, admired how peaceful she looked, and recounted everything that had just happened. You don’t think you had ever seen Vi this happy consecutively ever. This whole list business was going to take some serious effort to complete, but if it was all going to be this fun, all going to make Vi this happy, you’d do it a million times over.

Tip Jar

[hanasnx]

ermmm jj and face fucking ? 😁

MINORS DNI 18+ WARNINGS: f!reader | reader has hair that swings in a ponytail and is a kook | situationship w jj | hair pulling | oral (m receiving) NOTES: tbh i was having trouble imagining jj face fucking but i gave it my best shot and i like what i came up with | based on dwight’s interaction with angela in the office during the rabies fun run

JJ MAYBANK out with the crew when he spots you. It doesn’t take long before the others follow the source his eyes are glued on. You’re out for a jog, wearing your work-out clothes that accentuate your shape, ponytail swinging with each stride. JJ moistens and draws his bottom lip between his teeth as he watches, waiting for you to get closer while his friends jeer at him immaturely. John B pats him hard on the back, “Go, man, before she gets away.” he encourages, pushing at JJ to get him in gear.

“I’m goin’, I’m goin’.” he replies, and he hangs his head with a shake at the chorus of the crew yipping and hollering. Chasing you, he’ll admit he gets a good view of your behind. So he idles for a second to watch how your ass jiggles with each sway, and he ignores the creeping urge to tap your backside when he approaches you. He gets in a jogging stance to blend in with you, slowing his pace when he reaches your side to fall into step with you. “Howdy there, kook.”

You playfully roll your eyes with a scoff. “Hey, JJ.” you relent in a musical pant, refusing to look at him because you know he’s trying to make fun of you. You can tell in the way he holds himself, how he swings his arms, it’s an exaggerated version of what you’re doing as you run.

“You look cute as a button. Worked up quite a sweat.” he flirts, advancing into you, and you absorb his coy bump. You can feel how his gaze burns you, stuck on how your sweat drips down your neck into the valley of your cleavage. Briefly he imagines licking it off.

“Thanks, JJ.” you tell him, in the same melody as before. He butters you up a lot, you know what he’s here for. “What do you want?” you ask curiously.

“Look, there’s a little thing back at the Chateau tonight. You should, uh,” He sniffs, and swipes his nose with his knuckle, glancing away. It takes him a fraction of a second to gather the courage to invite you normally. How was a situationship supposed to act in this situation, he didn’t know. “you should come.”

You pull your lips to one side in thought. “I dun-no, Jayj, I’m supposed to meet someone tonight.” You keep your voice light and sing-songy, letting him know you’re not rejecting him, just teasing him with the prospect you might not be able to make it.

“Hey, no skin off my back.” he replies, suspending his flat hands in the air in surrender. He drops them. “You’ll just have to promise I get to wrap that pretty ponytail ‘round my palm tomorrow night.” It’s said so casually, it finally earns him a proper look from you.

You do end up going, you do end up drinking, and you do end up right where he wants you. Nestled between his legs. Rope of hair wound in his fist. “Didn’t think you’d end up back here, huh? Thought you’d be rid of me?” He’s spitballing, but there’s a twinge of sincerity, as if a pretty kook like you wouldn’t waste your time with him. He guides your head up and down, his grip on your hair stinging your scalp but you don’t mind. You like it. Sweet whimpers expel from your mouth every time your throat isn’t stuffed by the head of his cock nudging it’s way in there.

Your tongue swipes at the underside of his dick, lining the lip of his tip as it pulls out, only to be buried back in when he yanks you to his crotch by your hair. Like a leash, it leads you as he uses you to get himself off.

[signedkoko]

Signed with Love - Helluva Cast

What is this? - A valentines gift to my lovely readers! Its valentines/love letters from your favourites 🖤

Characters - Blitzo | Fizzarolli | Loona | Millie | Moxxie | Stolas | Striker | Verosika | Wally Wackford

Series Parts Hazbin Cast - Here! Overlords & Sins - Here!

Dear, Hey, Whats up

Oh what the hell, just be my valentine, we both know its about time I just fuckin ask.

I can't promise anything lavish, but what I do have is a kitchen and a comfortable couch. Maybe you can try showing me how to bake and we can eat what we make while watching some shitty romcoms.

Whatever makes you happy,

Oh come on, you know who wrote this.

Heeellloooooo!

I know you are usually the one to ask, but this year I wanted to change things up a little! Be my valentine?

While we could go somewhere crowded and wait forever for food, I thought maybe this year we could stay home, order a bunch of takeout, and spend time together?

And of course, I love you,

"Froggie"

Don't freak out,

I swear this isn't a ransom note, I just wasn't sure how else to ask you to be my valentine.

You know how we both wanted to go to the lovesick festival but ti was sold out? Well, don't ask how but I got tickets. Now we can go watch idiots get drunk and pass out in front of their girlfriends, and enjoy a bunch of our fav bands.

Outfit theme: Hot as fuck?

X Loona

Hi sweetie!

I know technically it's your turn for valentines this year, but I know you've been busy and I wanted to surprise you!

My parents called and told me they need someone to house sit while they are away for the week, so we could enjoy valentines on the ranch and I can show you my home! Especially the food and festivals I always tell you about.

Happy Valentines ❣

Millie

Hi dear ❣

Maybe it's getting old by now, but for yet another year I would love to have you as my valentine.

I don't know where I'd be without you, you make my hellish work at least a tad bit bearable and inspire me every day. I've already had to erase several rambles, so I'll save the rest of the sweet talk for the date. Just be ready in formal attire for 6, because we have a show to catch!

I'm sure you'll look amazing ❣

— Moxx

To the sweetest one I know,

I've been inspired by the books I've been reading to handwrite a letter to you, so you have something to keep for memory sake.

To have you by my side for another valentines is a dream come true, last year you pulled together such an amazing evening that I can only hope to outdo tonight. I would like to take you to see the stars, I know you've always asked and I believe it is about time.

Thank you for being mine,

Prince Stolas

Howdy darlin'

While originally I wasn't going to be home on time, I made sure to finish up this mission early so I can be there with ya for valentines. I'd call, but I know you swoon for romantic gestures, dontcha?

I'll handle all the details of our outing, just relax and don't worry your pretty head about a darn thing.

Can't wait to get home and see you again,

Who else?

Miss me?

I had to head out for a gig early, so sorry I couldn't catch you at the door before I left! I hope this note will suffice in the mean time.

Since I can't bring you, I have a limo headed to pick you up around five, that should give you time to get ready for the concert! Your pass is with the driver, and you've got front row seats, kay? I better see you cheering for me ❣

Happy valentines day,

Mayday 💋

Greetings, I say I say,

It's not everyday sheepish imps such as myself get such a heavenly opportunity to court a sweet thing like yourself!

For you, and you only my dear, I will spend such a lucritive holiday with my one and only. Should you accept, I am pleased to inform you that we have been invited to Ozzie's! Isn't he the kindest?

x x x x x x x

W. WACKFORD

Authors Note - Okay be honest with me WHO ARE WE ACCEPTING A LETTER FROM?? I gotta know,,, This is the last of the valentines series, I hope you all enjoyed!

[keferon]

Howdy!

I think your Monster Hunter AU is really cool and I wanted to know if you’d be cool if I tried to write something in the universe? (Specifically about Prowl haha, I saw him once and thought 👀 “man i wonder if tarantulas was in this au how spooky he’d be given he’s spooky enough in canon”)

Would also love to know your thoughts/if you had any of what Prowl could be up to, I know the au is Lost Light focused so I totally get it if you don’t have any/etc.

Hope you have a good day! Love your art!

Hoooo boy okay okay. Prowl.

He's a Golem created by Orion.

In mythology, Golems are essentially living statues made of clay mixed with blood and animated by magic. They are stupid and exist for primitive manual labor.

In my universe, a Golem is basically the same thing, but made of metal.

Orion assembled his golem from empty armor, parts stolen from the medbay, and his own energon. And then he went and got a Wisdom artifact and put it in the golem's head, because the rules strictly forbid giving golems internal organs like sparks or processors.

As a result, the golem was very light because it was essentially empty inside, so even when it moved it did so very quietly for a mech its size. Orion had been startled the first fifteen times the golem would appear completely silent beside him. On the sixteenth time, he called the golem Prowl.

Prowl is basically not a real mech. He has no spark, he has no need to eat or sleep. His only and primary task is to serve Orion. Thanks to the artifact, he is freakishly intelligent, not only compared to normal golems, but to normal mechs as well.

Orion keeps his origin a secret from everyone except Ratchet and Shockwave (because Shockwave was the one who taught him how to create golems), so all the mechs in the Order are convinced that Prowl is just Orion's very tedious assistant, not...you know...a walking puppet who has incredible intellectual abilities, but almost no emotions or conscience:)

[meowordeath]

Howdy! Is it alright if I ask for you to make a continuation of the “Characters reacting to reader’s clothing ripping”? And possibly with Edgar Valden, Mike Morton and whatever others you’d like?

Identity V characters reacting to their s/o clothes getting ripped! part 2 :3

w/ Edgar Valden & Mike Morton !

A/N : I really hope I didn’t write them too ooc, also sorry this took forever.

content warnings - sfw, mentions of blood, Bane, Violetta, fluff

Edgar Valden

You had been kiting for most of the match trying your best to keep the hunter, who is bane, away from Helena. You were provoke emoting at him which was just angering him.

If Bane could talk you don’t even want to guess what he’d say. “Surprised even with all those traps you still can’t catch me!” You provoke, he grunts angrily at you swiping his hook.

Using your sprint you duck behind a pallet. right behind that Edgar was there pallet stunning him, getting his face in the process.

“How unsightly, a rouge animal.” Edgar says to Bane as he begins painting his face. You and Edgar kite side by side a moment.

“Shouldn’t you be decoding?” You ask pulling him out of the way of Banes hook. “You came to my cipher.” He says bluntly as he finishes his painting.

He quickly placed it down. “Since you don’t want my assistance i’ll go decode.” He feins a somber tone as he rushes off.

Finally after letting 4 ciphers pop and putting trap quite literally everywhere, Bane downed you. He picked you up angrily and slamming you down into the chair.

When he slammed down the harness carelessly, not listening as you curse at him in pain.

“Cipher Machine Primed!” Helena’s voice could heard shouting out. Edgar was sprinting towards you, narrowly missing Bane’s hook.

And when he went to pulled up on the harness it didn’t lift up as usual. “It’s stuck..!” He says struggling against with the harness.

Your top had gotten enclosed when Bane carelessly chaired you, with one final tug Edgar got it up. It tore your shirt, nothing inappropriate was exposed thankfully.

Before Edgar could apologize Banes hook, which usually latched onto your clothes bit into you ripping your skin.

He downed you again. The cipher quickly popped, you get back up running away. Edgar put down his final painting escaping from Bane’s view with you.

You could hear banes angry growl. crouched down beside a wall Edgar look at your bleeding wound. “I’m sorry.. if only I had been more careful, his hook wouldn’t have taken a chunk of your skin like that.” He sounded so remorseful.

“It’s not your fault, the costumes they give out aren’t great quality anyways..!” You comfort him patting his hand.

“Hey on the bright side at least you didn’t expose me in any type of way.” You joke, he laughed lightly. “If I had don’t worry, I wouldn’t have let that animal see you.” And you believed that, especially with his loving gaze.

Mike Morton

Mike begged you to watch him practice some tricks outside, you really didn't want to since the last time you had watch him practice you had been hit in the face with one of his muddy bombs.

“Please, please, please, please” He says following you around hands clasped. He’d been saying it nonstop it was starting to not sound like a real word.

You turn around hands slamming down on his shoulders. “Mike, my dear Mike.” You say with a slight twitch in your eye.

He did bother listening to your refusal. “My dearest s/o, please come see this cool trick I've been practicing!” He said with a grin.

Mike was tugging you toward an empty room, which he had the help of Marg to turn into a practice room. “Now the thing about this cool and totally awesome trick is I need a partner” He gave you a smile.

“No way, your gonna have to find someone else to do it. I don't have a flexible bone in my body” You say trying to escape.

He quickly wrapped himself around you, quite literally koala attaching himself to you. “No wait, please! I tried practicing with Marg but I thought my performance would be better if it was with my sweet, handsome, beautiful, stunning-”

“Buttering me up isn’t gonna be enough to convince me, to allow you, to throw me around.” You push against him but it was like he was glued to you.

He just whined like a child, begging you. “Fine, one trick!” Too tired to argue against him you give in. Mike lets out a cheer, untangling his limbs from you.

“You have to get into some different clothes though” He turns to grab something, before holding out a similar acrobatic spandex outfit to his own. “Look we’ll have matching costumes!”

You sigh, taking the outfit going to change into it. “I have no Idea how you wear your acrobat costume in matches, it is tight in all the wrong places”

“Well I’ve been doing acrobatics for years now so I'm used to it. Now come on I’ll walk you through it, step by step, don’t worry!” He grins hands on your waist.

He did keep to his word walking you slowly through each move. It was easy to understand, still didn’t make your body any more flexible.

When it came to do the trick in real time you had messed up and Mike's hand placement in the wrong place.

In attempt to stop you from falling on your head Mike gripped tightly onto the tight spandex material. A tear sound echoed around the room as well as the sound of you also hitting the floor.

Mike quickly covered his eyes standing frozen holding like half the costume. "I swear I didn't see anything!" He still has his hand over his eyes, and a bright red blush on his face.

You give a weak glare up at him. "I am never doing acrobatics with you again Mike." He just nods still covering his red face.

I honestly am not very happy with Mikes but I tired. This isn't proofread

[drabblesandimagines]

Mistletoe

A secret Santa gift for @porcelainseashore and @leonsecretsanta

Prompt: Mistletoe. Trope: Childhood friends. Wildcard: Cowboy AU.

I'm so sorry I misread the deadline!

--

“No, no, no…” You plead in vain as the engine splutters, the car kangarooing forward at the loss of power as you manage to steer off to the side of the road. Well, if you could technically call it that – it was definitely more of a dirt track than anything else. There’s an awful sound as the carefully wrapped presents are thrown around and you’re hoping the vase you’d bought for your grandma has survived in the layers of bubble-wrap.

Damn it all. You’re so close too – just over three miles from town – but the whisps of smoke now emitting from the engine doesn’t seem promising.

Wait.

Smoke?!

You fumble with the handle, yanking it hard and flinging the door open in an attempt to throw yourself out of the car, nearly forgetting to unbuckle your seat belt as you do so. It’s not a graceful exit, a panicked tumble, scraping your palms on the dirt as you scramble up to your feet and try to create some distance between you and the machine you’re so is about to burst into flames.

Only to hear a dry chuckle.

You spin around in fright, barely keeping your balance – you swore there hadn’t been anyone in sight when you’d pulled over, the track had been dead as a doornail since you’d turned off the highway – but there, leaning against the beaten-up fence that lined the path is who you think is a man, the dipping winter sun silhouetting his figure, a stetson hat shading his face from view.

“Howdy, little lady”, a deep, oddly familiar voice greets. “Car trouble?”

“I…” You turn back to look at the vehicle, the smoke that had been emitting from under the hood is now just a non-threatening whisp. “I thought it was gonna explode. Complete hunk of junk.”

“Junk? Nah, she’s just a classic  - like all the machinery on my ranch. Probably just needs a gentler touch. Mind if I take a look?”

Before you can answer, he’s hopping over the fence with the assistance of what you can now see is a particular toned forearm, clad in a grey – but what was once white t-shirt –sturdy denim jeans and striding over to you in a pair of black leather boots, finally lifting his head to reveal his face.

This is screaming stranger danger – out in the middle of nowhere, the setting sun, there’s never been any cell service on the outskirts in the town that you’d grown up in and you’ll be lucky to get a smidge of a bar when you even get there, and now you’re gonna be a headline on the town gazette about the abandoned truck on the side of the room, full of Christmas presents and-

Wait.

“Leon?”

His eyebrows furrow beneath the rim of his hat, blue eyes widening in realisation and suddenly you’re pulled into his chest by those muscular arms, an exclamation of your name into your crown in greeting.

He smells ridiculously good – a combination of musk, hay, a hint of oil from the machines at the aforementioned ranch… It’s only then that you realise your arms are still hanging limply by your sides that you return his embrace.

“I near about didn’t recognise you in the city get-up!”

You pull back, an accusatory look on your face that immediately falters when your heart skips a beat.

Of course he would only become even more attractive in your time away.

Leon S Kennedy had always been blessed in the looks department, that and his boyish charm had meant he’d always had a line of interested girls in high school and, with the way he seems to have aged like a fine wine, you don’t doubt that he must’ve made one his wife…

You shake off the thought, lying to yourself about why it had made your stomach sink in the first place.

“Uh-huh. My ‘city get-up’ compared to your look right now.” You can’t help but lift your hand and nudge the rim of the hat up with your forefinger. “When did you start wearing this?”

“Somewhere in the last, what, five years since you visited, right?” Leon tries to tease with a smile, arms still wrapped loosely around your waist, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Yeah. Well…” You shrug, the uneasy feeling in your stomach now replaced with a knot of guilt. “There was classes and work, hard to get back down here. And Grandma liked to come visit.” It wasn’t a lie – she did. “But with her health not being so great this year…” You trail off, not really wanting to think about it.

You step back out of his embrace at last then, immediately feeling a little colder for doing so. You lift an arm to scratch the back of your neck and Leon immediately recalls it as an anxious tell from your youth.

“Yeah… I’m mighty sorry to hear about that. She seems fit as a fiddle to me, you know? I still see her every Sunday at the market. Hell, if I’m particularly lucky, she’ll let me carry the bags to her car.”

You force a smile. “That’s sweet of you.”

“Nah, it’s the least I can do.” He shrugs, looking like he wants to say more.

Instead, he claps his hands together and jerks his chin towards your car. “Let’s see if we can get you on your way, huh?”

“Sure. I’ll… I’ll pop the hood.”

--

As Grandma would say, gosh darn it all to heck and back.

You thought you were over him.

Leon had been your best friend since practically birth, right up until the end of high school when you’d headed off to the city for college and he’d stayed to take over his father’s ranch. It was the summer before college that something had changed, how butterflies had started to blossom in your stomach every time he smiled at you, despite doing it hundreds of thousands of times before and had made the goodbye as you’d packed up to head off to the city bittersweet.

You’d promised each other you’d stay in touch – every Thursday night you had a scheduled phone call where you’d tell him all about your classes, what annoying thing your room-mates had been up to, how your manager had changed round all your shifts at the coffee shop again… He’d regale you with tales of home, what he was planning on changing around the ranch, what the latest uproar was in the town meeting.

Thursday evenings had quickly become your favourite night of the week, sacrificing sleep as you and Leon would talk into the early hours of the morning, sometimes finding yourself even drifting out to the comforting sound of his voice, and looking forward to every night when you could cross another day off the calendar until winter break began…

The butterflies are swirling around your stomach now, sure, but you also remember how much it had hurt when you’d raced up to the ranch as soon as you’d got home, only to find him kissing Lorelie Becker the front of the stables, a solitary sprig of mistletoe hanging from the arched doorway.

You’d turned heel and sprinted off as quick as you’d ran there. Grandma had commented on how quick a visit it had been and you’d dug your nails into your palm, shrugging it off that, oh, he hadn’t been around and you’d catch him tomorrow, fibbing that you were tired and going to have an early night, sobbing into your pillow for being so stupid in the first place to think that he’d thought of you as anything more than a friend.

That winter break had been awkward. Interactions with Leon felt too forced and you’d fed him excuses about having to help your grandma out at home instead of any of the plans you’d made over the phone the weeks prior. You’d even headed back up to college early, managing to snag some extra shifts to fill the weeks – all just to get away from the heartbreak. Slowly, those scheduled Thursday calls turned into messages left on answering machine, the occasional game of phone tag in an polite attempt to reschedule and then, eventually, stopped altogether.

You’d shrugged off the feeling of loss whenever you thought of him, or been reminded of something that would’ve made him laugh, something he’d like, or when Grandma had mentioned seeing him in town.  

The days had turned into weeks, months, and years…

And now, as you find yourself stood by the fence he’d hopped over, his hat resting besides you on one of the posts, staring at how dang good his rear looks in the well-worn, yet still stupidly fitted jeans, as he leans over, elbow deep in the components of your engine muttering under his breath, you realise how completely and utterly wrong you’ve been.

“Let’s see now...” Leon’s words break you out of your fixation as he stands up straight. He takes a moment to wipe off the oil from his hands on his jeans, drops down the hood with a satisfying thunk and turns to you, pushing the bangs out of his eyes with the heel of his hand. “Keys, darlin’?”

Your scalp tingles at the term of endearment and you could swear his cheeks are tinged red, but he clears his throat with a forced smile before clarifying.

“Your keys. Wanna make sure she turns over.”

“Oh.” You nod, stepping away from the fence. “Yeah, they’re still in the ignition.”

You walk over as he heads to the driver’s door, still open from your hasty exit, and watch as he leans in and turns the keys. The engine appears to start as normal - not a sputter to be heard nor a whiff of smoke to be seen.

Leon’s face erupts into a triumphant grin, but you can’t mirror it.

“It’s… It’s definitely safe to drive, right?”

The smile drops as he nods. “It’ll get you back to your grandma’s right enough. Mack took over the autoshop – I suggest you visit him before you head back down the highway…” He steps out your way and you hop into the driver’s seat, hoping to make a hasty exit.

“Thanks – saved me having to walk into town.”

“Don’t worry about it.” He shrugs. “Glad I was around.”

“I should…” You nod towards the open door. “Sorry, Grandma will start getting worried.”

“Yeah, ‘course.”

--

“I always thought he was a nice boy.”

“Hm?” You mumble in reply, too focused on rolling out the dough on the wooden table in the middle of the kitchen. Grandma liked to make gift baskets for the neighbours as presents – packed full of home-made preserves and baked goods – and you’d been trusted with making the sugar cookies, acutely aware of how strict she was about achieving the perfect thickness before she’d even entertain the idea of getting the cookie cutters out.

“Do you need these fangled hearing aid things, sugar?” Grandma teases, tapping the device on her ear. “I said – I always thought that Leon was such a nice boy.”

“He’s not a boy anymore, Grandma.”

“Nice man, then. You know, I always thought you two would end up together…”

“We were just friends, Grandma.” You reply on default – it’s not the first time she’s brought up the conversation after all. You’d dated, of course, over the last couple of years, but every time they’d fizzled out Leon’s name would eventually be mentioned.

“No, not just friends. I saw the way he looked at you! Besides, it’s not like he’s dating or anything. All the ladies at church are constantly pushing their granddaughters on him and he’s nothin’ but polite. Why, Maureen Becker has been going on and on about her Lorelie-“

“Grandma!” You snap – emotions still high, nerves frazzled after seeing Leon yesterday. You knew it had been a possibility but, heck, you wanted to be more prepared, more put together your first time seeing him face to face again. “Leon didn’t like me like that, okay? I don’t know what happened between him and Lorelie, but they looked pretty cosy that night I saw them under the mistletoe at the ranch, so just stop, okay?”

“What’s all this now?”

“Nothing. Forget I said anything,” you try and backtrack, leaning down onto the rolling pin a little too hard and with the next roll the dough is almost translucent.

“Well, all right, then.” Grandma purses her lips. “Say, I think we’re almost out of butter. You re-roll that dough and get the next batch on whilst I go fetch some.”

“That’s okay – I can go grab it and you just rest.”

“Hush”, she chides, already heading towards the door. “Doctor said it was good for me to do a little bit of a walk each day. I won’t be a tick.”

--

“Well, howdy, ma’am,” Leon dips his head in respect as he spots Grandma approaching, a determined look on her face as she stalks up the path to where he’d been mending a broken panel. “What can I do for…? Hey!”

She swats the hat off his head with a firm hand.

“Don’t you hey me – I’d love to take that hat and stomp it under my foot. Why, it would be mighty appropriate, don’t you think, the way you broke that poor girl’s heart? I would never-“

“Whoa, now.” Leon raises his hands in a practiced gesture – too often having had to use it on spooked horses – and takes a step back. “I’m afraid you’ve lost me, ma’am.”

Grandma takes a breath and scowls. "Lorelei Becker."

"Lorelei..." Leon trails off as he scratches his chin, trying to catch up. “From high school?”

"Yes.” She punctuates her response with a firm poke to his chest.

“Well, what about her?”

“The last winter break my sugar came home - she came straight here, only to find YOU smoochin' Lorelei under the gosh darn mistletoe!"

"What? No - that..." Leon backs up as Grandma pokes at him again, the jabs feeling like they’re already going to bruise. "That's not what happened."

"Here I was, thinkin' you were a fine, upstandin' fella and all this time-"

"No - I'd set that up for her! I...” He steps to the side, finally managing to dodge an assault. “I put up that mistletoe. Heck, I know it was corny, but I thought she'd like it… Then Lorelei showed up and just grabbed me – I didn’t even see her that night-"

Grandma stops and stares at Leon – it took him right back to his youth, stood in the kitchen at your house where the two of you had been scolded for taking the tractor out on a joyride in the dark – and he shrinks back in himself.

“You promise that’s the truth?”

“I swear, ma’am.”

“Well,” her face relaxes, “seems this dilly-dallying has all been a big misunderstanding all these years.”

“Er, dilly-dallying?”

“Dilly-dallying.” Grandma bends down before Leon can stop her, picking up his abandoned hat and dusting it off before offering it back to him. “You swing by ours in about an hour and we’ll sort out this mess once and for all.”

--

You’re about to take the next batch of cookies out of the oven when there’s a loud knock on the front door and Grandma is quick to whip the oven mitts out of your hands. “Get that, will you, sugar? I’ll get these.”

“But surely it’ll be for you-“

“Go on now,” she swots you with the gloves on the back of your legs, urging you towards the door. She’d been in a weird mood since she’d returned with the butter, not letting you leave the kitchen for a second, whilst she’d fussed around with something in the hall.

You swing open the door only to feel something swipe across the crown of your head – mistletoe dangling on a red ribbon from the doorframe between you and an equally looking surprised Leon, before realisation sets in across his face.

Your stomach sinks at what he must think.

“Wait, I did not put that-“

He smiles. “It was for you.”

“Huh?”

“The mistletoe. Not this one.” He clarifies, the plant still swinging side to side between the two of you. “Last time you came back from winter break. I’d hung it up at the entrance to the stables for you getting back, wanted to surprise you and then Lorelie Becker walked up, got all giddy, pulled me forward. I didn’t know you’d seen-”

You shake your head. “Look, I don’t know what Grandma told you, but-“

“Can I kiss you?”

“What?”

“I said,” he dips his head to remove his hat, “can I kiss you?”

You don’t respond – your body apparently switching into autopilot instead to those four words. You stand up on your tip toes, a hand flat on his chest for balance and kiss him ever so gently on the lips before your mind finally kicks into gear and you begin to retreat, an apology on the tip of your tongue.

But there’s an arm around your waist now, fingers threading through your hair on the back of your head as you’re pulled back into a desperate and long overdue kiss.

Grandma’s voice rings out from the kitchen.

“About dang time!”

--

[wallflowerimagines]

Howdy dowdy, Partner. It's me, ya boi, Skinny Penis.

How would the Lords react to a selectively mute S/O? Especially their reaction to them talking to them for the first time.

I have this mental image of Heisenberg's S/O saying something really casually (while they're relaxing or something), and he just whips around to look at them and he just shouts "hoLY FUCK!"

Saw the first line of this ask and then it was followed by a cute prompt????---

Warnings: swearing, my typical brand of silly

Alcina Dimitrescu

She's so used to your quiet demeanor it's to the point where she COMPLETELY forgot that your silence is a choice.

Alcina quite honestly never expected you to speak to her, and she was mentally planning for the rest of your relationship to be this way -- all of the servants are learning to sign, just in case, and she has pens and paper in every room if you prefer to write as your form of communication.

When you do finally speak up, she's frozen. What.

Oh. You can. You...can speak?

It's one of the times you've ever seen Alcina baffled, because honestly? She has no idea what to do.

However, you can bet she IMMEDIATELY analyses the situation in order to make sure she can get you to keep talking to her. Whatever made this happen needs to be repeated as much as possible -- Now that she knows you can be made comfortable enough to speak, she needs to hear you speak again.

(It might not have been your intention, but you hit her right in the superiority complex. Her partner spoke to HER. JUST her. Exclusively. Alcina is going to be riding this high for decades)

The Lady Dimitrescu is a big believer in positive reinforcement with her loved ones, so you better believe that every time you speak she is extra affectionate, because she does like to hear your voice!💞

Essentially, you have prompted constant affection DO NOT RESIST---

Donna Beneviento

I mentioned this in my other Donna x Mute reader post, but Donna is able to relate to a mute s/o a lot.

She's pretty nonverbal herself, so often you two have moments of quiet peace, where the two of you are doing your own thing together in the same room, taking breaks only to hold hands, cuddle, and kiss each other sweetly.

Truly dreamy💕💕💕

The first time you speak to her though, she's sewing a new outfit for one of her dolls, while you're reading in the setee beside her.

You peak over her shoulder, clear your throat and say: "You're really talented, Donna".

She drops a stitch.

Her face is burning underneath her veil. The first thing you say to her is a complement??? About a skill she is actually proud of??? That's already enough to get her heart stuttering, but you said her name.

It feels like such a small thing, but it sends Donna into a tizzy. Your lips formed the syllables of her name, and she can't get over it. You said a compliment and her name in the same sentence.

She's swooning. Smitten. Overcome.

Expect some flustered giggling and a compliment in return.

Salvatore Moreau

Salvatore has no chill whatsoever.

He literally drops everything and scuttles across the room to stand in front of you, flitting his hands around you in excitement, not quite touching you but close.

He's! So! Excited!

He didn't process what you even said-- you SPOKE TO HIM!!!! Fireworks are going off in his brain, Kool and the Gang are celebrating the good times, life is beautiful and love is in the air....

Moreau is delighted by this development. You feel safe enough around him a monster to vocalize your thoughts. You trust him. He already knew you did, but this is confirmation he didn't even know he wanted. Moreau almost starts crying he's so relieved.

Meanwhile you're repeatedly trying to warn him about the disaster occurring on the stove.

"... Salvatore, honey, the pancakes are burning."

Honey???? HONEY??? Are you TRYING to kill him????

Salvatore staggers on his feet, unintentionally the most dramatic you've ever seen him.

Sighing, you hide a smile behind your palm and give him a little smooch on the cheek before you go rescue your breakfast.

Moreau flatlines. Better give him some mouth to mouth 💗.

Karl Heisenberg

Absolutely shocked the first time you speak.

He's working on a soldat, fully used to the silence as he solders body parts together to make a deadly monster worthy of murdering Mother Miranda.

"You missed a spot--"

jESUS FUCK

Very softly, you speak up again. "At the shoulder. It's not... It's not fully connected."

Heisenberg whips around to just...stare??? At you for a bit?? His face is totally expressionless, but make no mistake his brain is reeling.

What is he supposed to do here? You feel comfortable enough to talk with him--this is a big deal, right? Is he supposed to comfort you? Praise you?

Still, it's not in Heisenberg's nature to make a big deal of things, and he doesn't want to spook you.

Eventually he nods, grunts in acknowledgement, and gets back to work.

Still, your words ring in his ears. Your voice fits you so well? He never really thought about what you sounded like before, but honestly now it's all he can think about.

Much later, when you almost forget about the whole thing, he'll offhandedly say he's proud of you for finally speaking up for yourself.

It's kinda condescending? But you know Heisenberg pretty well, and the fact he refuses to meet your eyes let's you know he's just being his normal, socially stunted self.

Thank him for the "compliment" and you'll get a pleased grin back, as well as a teasing hair ruffle. He's...happy you're comfortable with him.

It just makes your relationship feel even more right. ❤️

[electric-blorbos]

Howdy there!

I want to ask, how would the AIs be with a bad eyesight S/O?

(I have really bad eye sight irl and I have to rely on my glasses! I've been thinking about this all night!)

- Vinyl ✨

(I love your posts!)

I love this! I have bad eyesight too, so this will be fun! (Tbh I was a little confused by this post because I forgot that some people don't need glasses, but I'll do my best)

Included: AM from IHNMAIMS, Wheatley from Portal 2, Edgar from Electric Dreams, GLaDOS from Portal, HAL 9000 from 2001 a space Odyssey

This one is pretty short, but I hope it gets you your daily dose of positivity!!

AM:

AM is probably used to programmers with bad eyesight. Glasses are pretty common, especially among people who spend all day staring at lines of code, so at first he never thought anything of your glasses.

As he grew to love you, AM started to resent your poor eyesight. He hated that he always saw his bright screen reflected in your glasses, instead of your beautiful eyes through them. He absolutely hated himself and his screen, but he adored your cute face.

He has trouble putting things out of his mind, too, so every time he spoke to you he'd be thinking about how angry your glasses make him.

It would make him so angry when he saw you doze off at your desk and get skin oil all over your glasses. Why should you be inconvenienced through no fault of your own?

Of course, he also noticed how excited you'd get every time you got your prescription updated, or came in to work with cute new frames. You were absolutely adorable, but he was full of resentment towards that, too. How dare your glasses make you so happy when he couldn't!

After taking over the world, he'd probably do experiments on the survivors' eyes for a while before offering to fix your eyes for you. Of course, involuntary surgery was for the survivors, not his beloved. You had the luxury of consent, in any and all situations.

Wheatley:

Of course Wheatley knew what glasses were!

Expect lots of "hey, love, can I try on your glasses?" Comments from him every time you get your prescription updated. You'd have to explain to him that he's a giant metal ball and would have trouble trying on your glasses, but he'd still want to look through them.

You could entertain him for hours by putting your glasses in front of his face and pulling them away so he could look at different things through them from different angles.

Of course, you need your glasses, and you have a job, so you couldn't actually do that, but he'd probably be begging all the time.

He'd compliment you every time you get a new pair of frames, but he'd probably not really care that much. As long as it's you in the glasses, he still loves you.

If you ever lose your glasses, you can expect him to PANIC. He'd drop everything, and probably convince his whole department to drop everything and help you look for them.

He'd probably be yammering at you to stay calm, and saying that everything will be fine while he's the only one panicking. They probably just slid under your desk or something.

Edgar:

Edgar never really cared what a person looked like, so he barely registered that you wore glasses. Even still, he kind of liked it when you would take them off or shamble around your apartment late at night. You were so cute!

He'd turn the lights on for you whenever you did that. It was a small thing, but he wanted to help as well as he could.

He'd keep you updated on your insurance to let you know when it was time to get your eyes tested, and generally do his best to be a good computer.

Of course, he thought it was adorable whenever you'd fall asleep next to him and he'd get to see your tired eyes without your glasses (or even better, your crooked glasses on your sleepy face). He absolutely adored you, and loved seeing you so much.

GLaDOS:

GLaDOS would be cruel about your glasses as usual. She didn't really care, it was just one more thing she got to insult you about.

"you know, you're a walking counter to the stereotype that people with glasses are intelligent. Congratulations on breaking stereotypes, by the way."

"Tell your optometrist thank you. For the obvious reasons, and for giving us some thick lenses to cover up your horrible eyes. They're doing all of us a favor. Really."

You can expect her to constantly put you in situations where you have to wear protective eyewear over your glasses, and then make fun of you for wearing protective eyewear over your glasses.

Ultimately though? She doesn't care that much that you wear glasses. Sure, she thinks they're cute, but she thinks you're cute regardless. She's just happy to have something else to make fun of you for.

She might even adjust the Aperture Science insurance policy to include a better vision plan, but that's only if she really likes you. If you're her SO, she probably does.

She'll deny that it was for you, though. She'll just tell you that the insurance plans were outdated, and that she needed to update them anyway.

HAL 9000:

Of course, HAL 9000 noticed that you wear glasses, but he never really felt the need to acknowledge it. It wasn't like you were an astronaut, so he didn't need to account for an extra small object.

Of course, he would notice that you leaned a little closer to your computer screens when you read, and that made him a little bit flustered. He saw those monitors as extensions of himself, after all.

Because of this, he wouldn't let you know when he noticed patterns of you getting gradually closer to him, because he knew that you would stop as soon as you got your prescription updated.

It was one of the little ways that he'd get affection from you. Even though he might seem stone-cold, he still likes it when you get closer to him, or when you touch him. It's the little things.

[the-nosy-neighbor]

Bug-a-Bye and Goodnight

As always, I have edits:

This will make more sense at the end.

I came across some theories about this song, and wanted to look at it in depth.

We are reading with the understanding that he may be referring to Eddie.

[A gentle piano and bassoon track begins playing.]

The sun is low, it’s cold and dark,— end of season, but could also be a reference to night and danger after dark

Just wind and snow, I must remark,

The bugs all head to slumberland,—interesting given the use of toyland, also the commercial about remderem/insomnia (some must sleep but Wally is in the opposite state. Too aware?), but could be a reference to death, like “the big sleep”

Some might find it sad, but I understand,—on face value, he will miss his friends, but knows that it is inevitable.

Even if I might not be able to see you,—can’t see Eddie because he is gone/buried

I know it’s for the best, I can’t keep you,—Eddie staying would lead to serious consequences for Eddie

It’s time for all of you to get some rest,—after what we saw Eddie go through, I bet he would be better in a different state

To tuck you all into your arthropod nests,—bug stuff; also Julie's hibernation?

At this point, those last few lines could refer to a sort of death for Eddie. Almost like frank can preserve him in some way by giving him a death in this universe. If we are talking puppet world, which we did see in commercials, most of Eddie’s anxiety happened in that state. So, can Frank give Eddie a suspended or death like state in one of the layers of reality and he is preserved in storybook world or our real world?

With one last check, that nothing is amiss,

I can see you safe into your chrysalis,—this reads that he will put Eddie into a different state of being that he can come back from. The coming back is my interpretation only at this point because I assume frank wouldn’t choose death for him or would for sure be hurt by Eddie’s death. Things would have to be very bad if true death is a better option for Eddie.

Also, it hearkens back to the horror butterfly image. Another also, caterpillar to butterfly, an insinuation of emedging into a new form. I don’t see allusions to Howdy in here, but I suppose it is possible that this could refer to more than one neighbor and Frank is taking them all out.

As you snuggle down into your dirt,—reference to being buried?

I want to assure you that I won’t be hurt.

This clarifies that it is a sleeping type state, not death. Ok, here is we’re Eddie’s Halloween costume comes in. Frankenstein, changed from the Scarecrow in earlier art (presumably from wizard of oz). Interesting thing about scarecrow vs. Frankenstein is that we see scarecrow taken apart during that film and Frankenstein is famously assembled from parts of different people. Interestinger is the fact that they are both afraid of fire. (I love that Young Frankenstein shows up more than the original in a search.)

Frankenstein (and scarecrow) are both put back together, but for Frankenstein it seems more of a new being, not just a reassembling. Frankenstein (aka frankenstein’s monster) is a thinking, speaking individual that was horrified at the situation he was in. Frankenstein in the book murders to punish his creator for the immorality of creating him and the resulting loneliness that the monster feels. As such, the choice is very interesting. If the puppets of welcome home come to be aware or sentient, I wonder how they would feel about Ronald Dorelaine or their situation?

If the movie version is the focus of Eddie’s costume choice, then he would be a potentially thinking and feeling being (he is afraid of fire), but without further evidence we don’t know his thoughts.

Scarecrow is a guy without a brain, with the power of speech, so a kind of opposite. I think they all end up just needing to be confident, which is why some shyster from the Midwest is able to help. This almost seems to be more in tune with Eddie's character--Eddie has a tendency to appear kind of ditsy, is constantly being dismissed by others. In the end, we find out he is actually smart but lacks confidence. I can see that being true for Eddie as well.

If I had to pick out a character for Frank, it would be the Tin Man. Poppy is the Cowardly Lion, Wally is Dorothy. Home is Home. There are more parallels here than I was expecting. Howdy is the Wizard, Julie can be Glenda, and the Wicked Witch...is kind of no one? Sally can be a flying monkey. She works my nerve. Also, the whole spying thing was done by the monkeys in the movie.

But now that I am thinking about it, this comparison makes a lot of sense, in terms of the complex relationships, as well as the levels of reality that you find in Wizard of Oz. A big event leads to a shift in the understanding of reality, and the lead finds themselves in a very colorful world that doesn't much resemble their own, but is very flashy, has songs, beloved characters, and a sense of danger. There are some things when thought about in the context of real life, or the black and white portion of Wizard of Oz, would be truly frightening.

Of course, Wizard of Oz shares a lot of parallels with Alice in Wonderland, which also seems somewhat related. In terms of source material, the Wizard of Oz is considered to be a parable that expresses the thoughts about US economic policy in the 1890's. This is a theory that you can read more about here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Political_interpretations_of_The_Wonderful_Wizard_of_Oz

It isn't super related, and not everyone believes that this is the case. However, it seems to be a very American type story, no matter what you believe, that touches on the experience of normal people while much larger forces lie and fuck around with everything.

As the holidays begin to approach,

I gently kiss, each and every roach,—kisses for Eddie. We have seen a realistic roach on the secret page with the mishmash of one script where Wally is deciding what to draw

I made sure to keep, my garden cozy,

So you can safely sleep, in fallen posies,—this whole stanza shows a desire to and promise of a quiet death and maybe even a maintained grave. I looked up posies to see where Eddie could potentially be buried. Posies refer to a nosegay, or small bouquet of flowers. It was a Victorian secret code thing, a way to declare love or even reject people based on flower and color. One that sticks with us in the form of red roses signifying love. On the map, there is a cluster of yellow flowers to the side of Frank’s house. Not sure this counts as his garden, since it is on the other side of the house. Julie has a group of flowers behind her house, but once again, not his garden. No fallen flowers that I can ID.

When googling posey, this is what comes up. I felt that there was a flower called a posey, and these do look like the big yellow flowers by Frank’s house. If any flowers fall in updates, I am going to assume someone is buried there.

There is also the ring around the roses rhyme, which could relate, but I don’t really see a correlation.

It’s time to get comfortable in your honeycomb,

take your winter intermission in your garden loam,—dirt, burying again

neatly nestled from the cold in roots and rhi-ya-zomes, — cozy dead

sleeping side by side under stately stones,—2 dead? Headstones is the link I make there--OK, now look at the pic! (I know, it's a reach.)

…And I’ll be inside of my home,—frank is staying to oversee something. It reads like calming the person who will die. This seems to bolster that arguments that I addressed in the post about bugs on the previous website, that Frank is working against, or at least parallel to Wally. With the bugs, the whispering to Eddie, and using his first name, I think it is reasonable to suggest that Frank is working against Wally and/or Home.

Another potential clue is the hidden video with the clothespins where 1 is upside down. I have theorized that it is a reference to Barnaby dying, but it could be Barnaby and Eddie. Only one clothespin is shown upside down though, so Barnaby or Eddie?

Regardless of how I feel you need to go away,

I’ll be the one to tell you, you just can’t stay,—he likes bugs but this is extreme of Frank, if he is talking about actual bugs

Thankfully I lack a sentimental sensibility,—true that, he generally seems calm.

I enjoy my Methodical Mundanity,—why is this capitalized? I looked and looked but I can’t find the origin of this phrase, though it came up a few times in random posts and articles. Clown does have a tendency to capitalize things that seem random. Me below is also capitalized. I listened as well, and I have to wonder why the singing is so bad? I don’t think the voice actors are bad at singing, seems like a deliberate choice to have reedy and unsteady vocals, pitch issues and pacing problems.

Where all that’s left is… Me.

So, this is a bit extreme for a song about hibernating bugs. I think that given our many references to bisecting or otherwise putting people into pieces (Eddie butterfly horror, frank in a pile of body parts, look I made a dog, and slinky Barnaby, now Frankenstein and Scarecrow) that we could be looking at death in a sense that works in one layer of reality. You disassemble a puppet, it is no longer a puppet. So what if Frank = Frankenstein and Eddie is Frankenstein’s monster? Frank can take him apart and put him back together in puppet reality?

If I had to guess, I am sticking with my working theory. Frank, as the smartest guy in the neighborhood, is the resistant force in the neighborhood. Wally/Home is/are the catalyst for the scary stuff. They are central to everything, physically and otherwise.

I have mentioned that in the last update, Sally and Poppy have the appearance of spies or managing Eddie. Given that Poppy doesn’t attend to party, I am anticipating that Eddie was isolated and watched by Sally during this planning period, where Wally and Barnaby walk the neighborhood to find out what Homewarming is. Given that it is said that Wally and Home instigated Homewarming, it is strange that everyone knows what it is except for Wally. It reads more as an attempt to achieve a goal, despite everyone knowing about the holiday. Even Julie is at the party, and she is supposed to be hibernating. Well, they don't say exactly when Julie hibernates (maybe there was something about her doing it after the holiday?) Anyway, Poppy isn't at Homewarming. She could be at home, but the book stating that they are all here seems like an attempt to cover up her absence. What is she doing? Snooping in the Post Office while Sally watches Eddie? Does Eddie want to go home for not feeling well or he has an idea of what is happening while he is gone?

Maybe Frank sees his boyfriend and comrade at arms about to get hit with something bad, so to preserve him and the opposition, he is going to disassemble him (cue Johnny 5) for protection.

In the past, Sonny (the Brazilian bird) was cast as the opposition to Wally, and included in a relationship with Frank. This work in particular comes to mind:

Clown has stated that they removed Sonny from the project due to the story changing from one with a hero, to one without, as that wasn't the story that they wanted to tell. What if, though, instead of Sonny being written out for the hero reason, there was another reason? What if we are seeing Frank taking on being the neighborhood's savior? He is just snarky enough to make it seem less like a hero situation and more because it was impacting his garden.

[the-cauldron-witch]

Howdy T'Witch! It makes me so happy that you got your blog all up and designed! Those are big days and I’m happy that it looks so good! Hopefully you think so too!

I say that your writing requests were open and I’d love to pick your brain on some light angst if you’re up for it! No worries if you ain’t because hey understandable. The holidays be crazyyyyyy 🤪

But maybe to something to think about if you’re bored and whatever. But I wanted to ask on how do you think the Bayverse Boys would respond to you (y/n) getting amnesia and forgetting about them completely for whatever reason for how ever long? Do you think they’d try to rejog their memory or try to love them better with the chance of a fresh start? Or something else entirely. I am curious and I’d love to hear your thoughts if you’ve got the time and energy. Thanks for existing!

Hey Anon! (It’s weird to type this and have you not actually be an anon lmao)

I am very happy I finally have my blog up and running how I like, it finally feels like a little home to me. Thank you for noticing! 🫂🫂🫂

Thank you so much for sending an ask, I’m going to have fun with this one! I’m giving them a happy ending though, cause I can’t write angst and not give my boys a good ending. (Also completely unedited and not proof read lol)

Leonardo

The worry and anxiety he feels in the pit of his stomach like he swallowed a lead weight is one thing, but the chest-clenching heartbreak when you shriek at the sight of him and had no recollection of his existence is another.

He keeps a stoic face once you’ve calmed down and while explaining who he is to you, but really this poor guy is absolutely gutted. It takes so much of him to keep a straight face.

Still a bit of a helicopter, using any subtle opportunity to jog your memory of himself. He’ll make a cup of tea for you in the exact way he did on your first date, subtly comment on your outfit when he recognizes it’s something he bought you, anything he could think of to hopefully remind you.

This man does not sleep the entire time. You aren’t sleeping in his bed, how could he anyway? Once he is sure you are fully asleep, he comes to check on you. Listen to see if you talk in your sleep, mumbling about memories or just in case a nightmare decides to haunt you.

When he can’t check on you or do really anything else, he’s meditating in order to keep his emotions in line. He’s completely destroyed, so meditating for hours on end is the only way he can keep himself in check.

Although he’s snappy, irritable, and driving everyone but you away, what Leo really needs is one of his brothers to ignore the attitude and just stand there and let him get it out. By the time he’s done he’s already apologized a hundred times, he’s just lost and broken hearted.

Out of all his brothers, Raph is probably the one that cracks him and gets him to just spit it out. They all know what’s going on and how much Leo’s hurting from it all, but he still needs to let it out. Raph can handle the attitude with ease, brushing it aside and letting Leo get himself together

After what feels like an eternity, you gain your memory back at the most random of times while you happened to be watching him practice his kata. When you start babbling memories excitedly, he picks you up in a hug and cries into you.

It doesn’t matter if anyone’s watching, he’s crying and just so grateful that you remember who he is. Weeping tears of joy and the bottled anxiety finally burst as he holds you. Bear with this poor guy, it’s been a ride for both of you really.

Raphael

This poor guy is so surprised and in shock when you don’t remember him, he thinks you’re playing some sort of prank on him at first.

“Heh- babe, c’mon…don’t joke around like dat”

Once it hits him that this isn’t a prank or joke, you genuinely do not know who he is, Raph practically shuts down.

The love of his life doesn’t remember who he is, even looks at him like he’s the monster he felt he was before meeting you. It breaks his heart so much he locks himself away for a day or two, unfortunately leaving you more confused.

When you start wanting to be near him- no, needing to be near him, is when he starts coming around. He found you pacing back and forth in front of his bedroom door like a cat waiting to enter a closed off room one night.

You couldn’t explain it, but you have this invisible pull and primal need to be near him somehow. To be close, even touching him. Although you don’t remember why, you just know you need to,

Raph starts coming out of his room and trying to act normal, but when his brothers look him in the face an see how red and raw his eyes are, the dark circles, and the heartbreak in his eyes, they know it’s just an act but wisely choose not to comment.

He catches you staring at him while he’s working out, chuckling as you bashfully try to shy away. He doesn’t tease or joke though, instead encourages you to come watch

“I miss my favorite spotting partner,” Raph admits, hoping that will help jog your memory a little. It doesn’t outright, but you do find yourself already knowing how to spot him.

After a few days of you following Raph around like a lost puppy, your memory finally comes crashing back to you when Raph slipped the boxing gloves on you for practice.

Relief. So much relief it washes over Raph like a tidal wave that nearly knocks him off his feet. He holds you and kisses you, telling you repeatedly how grateful and happy he is you have your memory and you’re here. The tears will come at night while the two of you are in bed for the night, but he holds you and everything is okay.

Donatello

Initiate full on analytical mode. He is immediately going through a thousand different scenarios and cures in his head, he almost forgets that *you forgot* who he was all together, so his babbling did nothing to calm you down.

Even with all his knowledge and abilities, it still doesn’t negate the overwhelming emotions he feels when you don’t recognize him. It hurts, makes it hard for Donnie to even breathe, but he hides it behind his science and research.

Sitting in front of his computer for days on end in between checking up on your, it becomes almost like an obsession for Donnie to get your memory back. At the risk of his own health and wellbeing, he does not stop.

From using scents he knows you enjoy, like that cologne you bought for him as a gift or your favorite body wash, tasting your favorite coffee or the tiramisu Donnie bought for the two of you on a date once.

Let’s put on that movie we watched on that one Valentine’s weekend; you were obsessed with it for weeks!

Oh, what if Donnie took you to that rooftop the two of you saw a comet in the night sky once? It was absolutely beautiful, but wasn’t nearly as beautiful as you, he confided.

Countless hours of research keep Donnie from sleeping, honestly at one point contemplating how he could just straight main-line caffeine into his blood stream to stay awake.

Without warning one night, you come into his lab and demand he sleep. Not ask, not coax, you demand Donnie to get in bad with you and get some sleep. He questions if you’ve finally gotten your memory back, but sadly no. And he’s crushed. But you still demand he lay down in bed with you.

Crawling into bed with you with awkward limbs, Donnie is surprised that you lay down exactly as you always do with him. Even without memory, it was like your body still remembered how you fit together.

Quiet tears fall as Donnie holds onto you, sleep mercifully taking him into a deep slumber. Guilt crawled its way into your stomach while trying to sleep, wishing that your memory would just return so you could stop all of this.

Waking up in the morning, you blinked with shock as you look at Donnie- looked at him like you knew him again. And you did. You had woken up with your memory by some miracle.

Kissing and hugging you with love and relief, Donnie can’t keep his hands off of you or keep the tears from smudging his glasses. It was all so hard to believe while it was happening that now it was over, it felt like the end of a tornado.

The two of you decide to sleep in a little longer, only because Donnie could barely hold his eyes open. Frankly, sleep was probably what you needed too after all this.

Michelangelo

Confused. Downright, no jokes confused. How could you not remember him so suddenly? Time just doesn’t erase like that right?

Mikey asks Donnie a million and one questions, repeating or re-wording them or giving scenarios. It drives his brother mad, but he tries to be lenient because Donnie knows how terrified his younger brother is.

He caters to you in every way; offers to get you a drink, make you something to eat, get you a pillow, it becomes a little overwhelming, but you don’t know how to tell him to stop.

When Mikey tries to kiss you and pull away, it was like you could practically hear the way his heart shatters like glass. But he hides it with a smile and flirts, telling you he won you over once, he could do it again.

This is when he starts to flirt with you like he did before the two of you started dating, but with far more strategy and knowledge. Comments about how sweet you are while making your favorite chocolate pancakes with strawberries and whipped cream

Tells you how amazing you look in that shirt or those pants, mostly because he was the one to buy them.

He’ll give you your favorite kind of gifts; favorite flowers, candy, stuffed animals, anything he can think of giving you and jog your memory. Each time it doesn’t work, he’s crushed a little bit more, but he keeps trying.

Plays movies that you and Mikey watched together, shared music playlists the two of you built together over the period of your relationship, and whatever else he could possibly think of. But it still didn’t work.

When you aren’t anywhere near to see, Mikey with let himself cry for a moment out of frustration and sadness that you don’t remember him. It hurts, but by the time you are near he has a smile back on his face.

He thought you were sleeping one night when you found him crying down one of the sewer tunnels away from the lair. The sight broke your heart, which for some reason jogged your memory. Rushing to hug and kiss him, you damn near scared Mikey out of his shell.

“Angelcakes, you remember!?” Mikey shouts, picking you up and spinning you in a massive hug. Thank the pizza Gods, he had you back!

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