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iwillneverforgiveyousunghanbin · 1 year ago

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taedros taedros

part two: taedros twodros ☆ part three: taedros tresdros**NEW wc: 2k reader: femme afab warnings: MINORS DNI EXPLICIT SMUT 18+ -- porn with plot, oral f!receiving, swearing, calling tae a virgin loser as a joke, mentioning the weeknd LMAO summary: loserbestfriend!taerae makes you watch the idol on hbo max with him for movie night, but a certain convertible scene sparks your "curiosity" more than the others... and taerae proves he might not be such a loser after all. :0 omg who am i?? i even wrote in all lower case letters in the fic to throw you off... i know you'll know right away though but that's not the point lmao!! i just didn't think i should be this horny for taerae on main so. here's the dedicated zb1 smut blog no one was asking for (except me. i was asking for it so let me live.) thank you to taerae for posting these pics next to each other and ruining my life. also the idol sucks and sam levinson and the weeknd are horrific for creating it. i only know some scenes from it because i watch comedy commentary videos about it. jennie is beautiful tho love her. ALSO i thought of this title and i cried laughing. mwahaha okay thanks for reading byeeeee

“this is the worst show I’ve ever seen in my life,” you say with a laugh, throwing a piece of popcorn in your mouth. “i can’t believe we’ve made it through two episodes already.”

🚨 SMUT BELOW CUT -- MINORS DNI -- 18+ 🚨

taerae sighs, “i think i’m gonna need to bleach my eyes.”

“throw some in my ears while you’re at it,” you joke, letting a leg drape over your best friend’s. you’re crammed together in the bottom bunk of his dorm room bed, watching the idol on the tv that’s hung at the foot of it. “i will never, ever be able to unhear the weeknd whispering, ‘stretch that tiny little pussy for me’. and every single day i will beg the lord for mercy.”

“are we sure we wanna watch the third episode?” taerae asks, shifting a bit next to you. “this show is so graphic.”

“of course the virgin wants to chicken out,” you tease, smacking his stomach with a pillow. he grabs it from you and leaves it there. “you’re the one who wanted to watch it! now you wanna quit two episodes in? not gonna happen. we can make it through this.”

if you hadn’t pressed play at that exact moment, you would’ve heard taerae gulp beside you.

the intro of the show plays, assaulting your eyes with an up-close and personal view of jocelyn’s bare chest. what else is new? you yawn, hoping the third episode’s graphic scenes (at the very least) won’t be repetitive. bitch has put on a blindfold to end both episodes so far...

sitting with your back leaning against the wall, you try to steal a glance at taerae. his upper back is propped up on his pillow as he lies perpendicular to you, facing the tv screen. you watch his eyes, catching the subtle dilation of his pupils. it could be the light from the television in the otherwise dark room shifting their size, but you find yourself curious nonetheless.

“do you think she’s pretty?” you ask suddenly.

taerae coughs. “me? do i think the actress is pretty?”

you nod, eyes returning to the screen in hopes that the lack of eye contact will make taerae feel comfortable enough to give you an answer.

“she’s pretty, yeah,” he says after a moment.

“like, you’re attracted to her?” you clarify, throwing another piece of popcorn into your mouth.

“uh,” he hesitates and you feel his legs tense up under yours. “i guess. i mean she’s not really my type, but--.”

“but you like her tits.”

“exactly,” taerae agrees too quickly. “wait, no--.”

“no need to walk it back,” you cut him off with a snort. “boobs are hot. end of story.”

taerae sits up a bit more, seemingly trying to relax after your probing. you didn’t talk to taerae about sex or girls all that much, but you’d be lying if you said the show hadn’t suddenly made you a bit curious. what experience did your lovable loser of a best friend have-- if any at all?

the interrogatory questions you’re suddenly wanting to ask are thrown from your brain, however, as the show now cuts to a shot of the weeknd (you and taerae refuse to call him tedros tedros) and jocelyn in the back of a convertible-- their poor assistant driving these two insufferable cretins down the freeway.

nothing’s out of the ordinary until jocelyn crawls from her seat and lifts one leg to straddle the weeknd. she’s in a slinky tangerine bodysuit and little black shorts and the weeknd’s hands easily envelope her waist. you roll your eyes, already having grown so sick of these two.

but when jocelyn is suddenly pushed to the edge of the seat, her back against the car door and her head resting on the frame-- your attention is piqued. the weeknd wraps his hands around her thighs, prying them apart so he can pull her shorts to the side just enough to fit his tongue. the actress’s head lolls back over the car door frame; her blonde hair dangling over the side and flowing in the wind. her face is screwed up in absolute bliss and the sounds coming out of her confirm her state.

would she really be screaming like that just from his tongue?

“um,” you hear taerae say and you look over at him curiously. “if-- if he’s good with it, then yeah. she would be, i guess.”

you frown. what was he talking about? if he’s good with what? ... oh fuck, you think as you realize that you’d accidentally said your previous thought out loud. and now poor taerae is stumbling to give you an answer.

what did he say? if he’s good with it then she would be.

“huh,” you mumble, your brow furrowing as you ponder his answer.

you turn back to the tv, but taerae clears his throat. “what?”

“what? what do you mean, what?”

“why did you say ‘huh’ like that?” he asks, the pillow on his stomach rustling as he shifts slightly. “do you not agree or something?”

“oh, uh,” you stutter as you feel your cheeks start to heat, not sure what to say. “um, i guess i wouldn’t know.”

the silence from taerae is deafening as your eyes stay locked on the tv. you’re not sure why you said that. you could’ve just lied. you should’ve just lied.

“are you a virgin?” taerae asks softly. the accusation whips your head around to stare at him angrily and his eyes widen cautiously.

“obviously not,” you answer in a huff. “i just... i’ve never...”

you look down at your lap, picking at the skin on your fingers. you should stop while you can. you don’t need to tell the truth. why are you even considering telling him this?

“no one’s ever gone down on me or anything.”

“oh,” taerae manages to respond after a long moment, but you can’t even look at him.

“yeah.”

another moment of silence. “you shouldn’t be, like, embarrassed by that. that’s... that’s entirely their fault for not prioritizing you, you know?”

your bottom lip tucks between your teeth, the aforementioned embarrassment flushing your skin as you nod. the show is still playing, but you can only hear garbled sounds. why did you tell him that!? now taerae has to awkwardly comfort you when you could’ve just shut your mouth in the first place. you didn’t really talk about these kinds of things with taerae. your best friend was there for movie nights, chinese food binges, laughing until you cry, and most importantly taking the absolute piss out of...

and here you were making him uncomfortable by randomly talking about your oral virginity.

“would you want me to do it?”

taerae’s voice is so quiet that you’re positive for a moment that you hallucinated it. you look over at your best friend tentatively to find his knuckles turning white from how hard he’s gripping his pillow to his stomach.

“what?”

taerae blinks nervously. “if you wanted to, you know, try it... i could--.”

“WHAT!?” you shout; hands grabbing the pillow on taerae’s stomach and throwing it across the room. “are you-- are you fucking joking!? you think i’m desperate enough to ask my best friend to eat me out?”

“no, no, no,” taerae respond quickly, hands flying up in defense. “not at all!”

“then what?” you ask, jaw setting in anger as you wait for a good enough answer to keep you from punching him in the balls.

taerae’s lips form the slightest pout. “you seemed really curious about it. i just... i just thought i’d offer.”

you bite your lip as you think. “what do you even know about that kind of thing? I thought you were a virgin loser.”

“ouch,” taerae says but quickly shrugs it off. “i guess you’re only right about half of that statement.”

you frown. even though you’d never talked about it before, was taerae secretly experienced? more experienced than you?

“you don’t have to say yes though,” he adds quickly. “i’m sorry; i probably shouldn’t have said any--.”

“okay,” you cut him off softly.

taerae’s eyes widen in surprise. “okay?”

you nod slowly. “i don’t believe you that you’re not a virgin loser, but if you’re offering...”

taerae sits up, leaning on his hands as a little smirk lights up his face. “i’ll eat you out and then you can eat those words. how does that sound?”

the way your heat flutters at his words catches you off guard. so does the way he swiftly flips you onto your back as you take the position he was just in.

“whoah,” you exhale, your best friend absolutely knocking the wind out of you as he positions himself between your thighs. he takes the hem of your shorts in his fingers, eyebrows raising at you expectantly. you lift up your hips enough for him to shimmy them off, discarding them on the floor without taking his eyes off your still-clothed center.

you glance at your underwear, panic immediately hitting you when you realize you wore the only clean pair that you had left...

a black, lace thong.

they were the only pair left, because you honestly hadn’t had a reason to wear them in a little while.

“fuck,” taerae curses, hands wrapped around the outsides of your thighs. “were you going somewhere after this or...?”

“if you don’t shut your mouth, i’ll be going somewhere before this,” you threaten, but the words come out shakier than you would’ve liked as taerae begins to plant open-mouthed kisses up your thighs. “... ‘s laundry day tomorrow.”

“mm, I see,” he replies, shifting his weight to one hand so he can bring his right hand to your heat. your heart rate rises as he moves towards where you’re quickly growing to need his attention most. two fingers press at your clothed-core gently and the sound of the tv in the background does nothing to dampen the moan that escapes you from just the small amount of pressure.

“laundry day’s coming just in time i think,” taerae says, a smirk highlighting his cavernous dimples in a light you’ve never seen before. “from the way you’re soaking through these.”

“shut up,” you groan, bringing your hands up to cover your face. taerae hooks his fingers around the waistband of your panties, tugging at them playfully to get your attention. peeking out through your fingers, you glare at him.

“do you want to stop?” he asks, removing his hands quickly. “we can stop if you want to or need to or anything.”

you reach down and grab both of his hands in yours, reattaching them to your underwear. “please keep going.”

he blinks at you for a moment before nodding, pulling your thong down your legs as you lift your hips up for him. taerae lies down fully in between your thighs now, guitar-string calloused hands wrapping around your thighs and guiding them to rest on his shoulders.

“so pretty,” he whispers. eyes focusing on your throbbing cunt, taerae’s grip on your legs gets a little tighter-- a little more desperate. “really.”

“thanks,” you respond shyly, watching as a bit of steam begins to coat the rim of taerae’s glasses. you can’t help but smile as you reach for them, carefully removing the frames and placing them on the stand next to his bed.

“thanks,” he echoes.

“i’m still not convinced that you aren’t a-- oh fuck...” just as you’re about to tease your loser of a best friend again, his tongue finds your core and licks a long stripe up from your opening to your clit. taerae exhales a laugh against your pussy, tongue circling your clit as his hands now take hold of your hips.

“wait, what the fuck?” you whine breathlessly as he works you over with his mouth. “tae, i thought... oh my god.”

“taste so good, baby,” taerae moans like he’s enjoying it just as much as you are. he slips a finger in your entrance carefully, stretching you until he deems you ready for a second. “Think this pussy might be perfect.”

his eyes are closed; eating at you like you’re his favorite meal. it’s hot. way hotter than the scene from the show. way hotter than anything on that stupid show-- in which another sex scene is playing on the screen behind taerae. you suddenly feel so much pity for jocelyn; one of the hardest characters in history to pity. but the fact that there’s no way tedros fucking tedros is eating her out as good as taerae’s eating you out right now is tugging at your heart strings.

“tae,” you whimper, feeling the knot in the pit of your stomach begin to tighten. your hand tangling up in his hair at the nape of his neck causes him to moan into you and the vibration only makes you tug harder. “please, please wanna cum.”

“already? you sure?” he says, disappointment coating his voice. “could eat this pussy all night.”

“holy shit,” you exhale. you didn’t even know taerae was capable of talking like this. the only time he ever said pussy around you was if he was calling you one. now as he looks up at you from between your thighs, his pretty dimpled-smile covered in your juices as he continues to fuck you with his fingers and press his thumb against your clit...

you’re nodding frantically now. “please, please tae. make me cum.”

“fuck, baby, okay. whatever you want,” he agrees quickly, the lust in his eyes at your demand reaching a whole new level. he removes his thumb from your clit and the sudden lack of contact causes you to whine pathetically. “sshhh, don’t worry baby. i’ve got something even better, i promise.”

just as some tears from frustration are welling up in your eyes, taerae’s lips close around your clit and he begins to suck. “oh my GOD,” is all you can manage as your orgasm starts to wash over you. “taerae. oh my god, tae... c-cumming.”

you’re grinding your pussy against his tongue now to maximize the friction and the way he lifts your hips a bit to bring you even closer tells you that he’s loving every second of this. your moans match the ones that taerae is mewing into your core. he places your hips back down onto the mattress, holding them steady as you start to squirm a bit from the overstimulation. he continues to lap at you gently as your hand falls from his hair to his shoulder, causing him to look up at you.

your cheeks are red now from both your climax and the new wave of embarrassment that’s creeping up on you. you’re not sure what to say, but luckily taerae’s got you covered.

he inserts two fingers inside of you again and then pulls them out-- covered in your juices. without hesitating, he sticks them in his mouth and sucks them clean. “you’ve tasted yourself, right? probably a lot. fuck, i’m so jealous.”

your jaw drops a bit, now doubly unable to speak at the filth pouring out of your best friend’s mouth..

taerae frowns at you. “what? you want to make this awkward now?”

you shake your head.

“was it good?” he asks, head tilting to the side as he squints slightly. you reach over to his nightstand and grab his glasses, handing them back to him. he puts them on; raising his hand to ruffle his hair.

“you know it was good,” you mumble annoyedly.

he grins. “yeah. i do.”

“UGH,” you groan, hiding behind your hands again. “i hate you.”

“please, pleeeease tae,” he mocks, climbing up closer to your face to really rub it in. “make me cum.”

“SHUT UP!” you shout, hitting his chest with your fists in annoyance. “do not get cocky about this.”

taerae shrugs, biting his lip to keep from smirking. “i guess you never wanna do this again then?”

you sigh defeatedly before replying softly, “i didn’t say that.”

“good,” he says with a smile-- shifting to the edge of the bed and standing up. “i’m gonna get you some water and a towel, okay? don’t move a muscle.”

you don’t. taerae had made sure of that with the orgasm he’d just pulled out of you. as the door to his dorm room closes behind him, you’re left with only your thoughts and the sound of that shitty tv show playing in the background. you reach for the remote weakly, pressing pause on a bizarre scene of the weeknd jerking it over a clothing rack (?).

all you can think about, though, is taerae lapping at your pussy like a starved man. what the fuck just happened? did you really just let your best friend eat you out?

and how the fuck had he managed to leave you wanting more?

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ma1dita · 1 year ago

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this will be our year

this was a request! find it here

words: 2.5k

summary: james does his best to plan reader's birthday! it's not as easy as you think

warnings: james is a leader not a planner, fluff!! bestfriend!james returns mwahaha

a/n: so sorry for this being literally two weeks after your birthday anon! life was kicking my ass but i hope you enjoy! writing many characters is something im trying to learn to make more organic

(posted and edited too many times to count 11/6/23)

—

There are a few things in life that James likes to think he’s very good at: making plans, pulling pranks, playing quidditch, and doing absolutely anything he can to make you smile. At first, he would laugh it off when his friends would say you two had something special. He is a gentleman, after all. James is the type of friend any of the girls would trust with a secret, or the one to borrow hair potion from when you’re in a pinch.

He loves to join in the gossip and crash your sleepovers when the boys are being ‘dreadfully boring’ (his words, not yours). He holds your bag when you walk to class (only yours, he’ll push Marlene’s books to the ground and run off laughing), bribes Peter with an extra helping of bacon to move his butt out of ‘your seat’ (whichever one was to the right of him) at breakfast, and definitely writes to his mom asking about what to get you for your birthday (and how much he’s been wanting to ask you out for almost about three years now).

Right... James is a great friend, so when you get all excited about your birthday, gushing about how you want to celebrate this year, he takes one look at the excitement on your face and hatches the perfect plan. Or so he thinks.

“I just can’t wait to celebrate with you guys, and not have to worry about exams, or projects, or boys, or curfew…” you muse, laying across Mary and Remus’s laps as everyone’s gathered in the common room. Sirius, and Peter are chasing each other with throw pillows while Dorcas and Lily share headphones on the other sofa. James beelines towards you, crawling across the open space.

“Boys? What boys have been worrying you, dove?” he says snidely, sneaking towards the space near your belly, looking up at your relaxed figure.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Mary giggles, and Remus huffs back laughter as he pats your head. James peers up at you as you smile knowingly.

“It’s a secret.” you smile, reaching out to poke his chin.

“You keep secrets from me now? From your most good-looking, bestest friend ever that plans the coolest awesomest birthday parties for you?”

Well, he did have a point. Ever since he accidentally flung you into the Black Lake third year in a prank meant for Snape, he’s almost always waited on you hand and foot. He had to, for your immediate response to laugh and flip him into the lake ‘qualified’ you as a Marauder (plus he thought you were really pretty—he swore he stopped crushing on Lily the next day.) And every birthday since has been bigger and better. Fourth year was the movie marathon out on the quidditch pitch; Fifth year was the picnic out next to Black Lake, and now you couldn’t wait to see what he has planned.

You look at the boy thoughtfully, smiling down at him and he swears it’s his favorite sight in the world.

“You don’t always have to know everything, Prongs…”

He chases after your hand with his mouth, trying to chomp one of your fingers. Idiot.

“Of course I do, or else no birthday party for you!” he jokes, and you giggle at the notion. He wouldn’t dare. He loves to celebrate you. Maybe this will be the year he asks you out… Is that cheesy? Or lame? James sighs, fussing with a string on his sweater, suddenly silent amongst the chaos of his lively friends. He’s got a lot of work to do.

—

The next week was filled with James’ hasty preparations and all of your friends were put up to the task of making his vision come together. Remus and Peter would get the booze, Mary and Alice would bake the sweet treats, Sirius and Lily were working on decorations, and Marlene and Dorcas were busy enchanting a record player to amplify through the party space James would get ready in the Room of Requirement. He’s been a little high-strung, overcalculating his endless to-do list to impress you.

All of them have been so…busy, and it was a bit lonely. You thought they might plan something with you, or for you, but you haven’t seen much of them in the past few days. Every bump in the corridor or spotting in the common room was a flurry of hushed whispers and giggles at jokes that flew over your head. Even dinner with them has been oddly silent, like watching a film but not being able to penetrate the scene that unfolds.

Peering down at the map one day after class, you see your friends’ names flitting around the map, all of them hanging out together, but not with you. That is, until a big hand nabs the parchment from your grasp.

“Hey!” “Sorry doll, need it for something important.” Sirius grins, pulling Lily along as they walk off briskly.

“Do you guys want to study later?” You call out after them, and they keep on walking, hands in their cloaks. Weird.

Many more of your requests have been denied. It’s a fickle thing, to suddenly feel unwanted in your group of friends. As a Marauder, you’ve earned your place there. But if Remus and Peter didn’t want to sneak out for a midnight snack, and Alice and Mary went shopping already, without you… Marlene and Dorcas were nowhere to be found.

That means you only had your favorite person to badger… James. You drag him into a broom closet after Muggle Studies one day, crossing your arms and looking up at him with frustration.

“Jeez, love, you’re stronger than you look!” He says sheepishly, hands landing on your waist.

“What are you all up to? Where have you been?” The pout on your face makes his knees weak, and it’d be so easy to just tell you….

No…He thinks, hardening his resolve as his thumb reaches out to smooth the crease in your forehead.

“Prongs,” you whine, poking his chest. The dim yellow lightbulb swings overhead, almost clobbering him in the skull.

“Why, you miss me that much?” He grins, prodding at your cheek. It’s cramped in here enough, and he hunches over your frame, unable to stop his smile at the look on your face.

“Yeah. I miss all of my friends. I sound like Moaning Myrtle whining after you lot! I wanna be involved in whatever you all are doing…” Delicate hands pull at the drawstrings of his hoodie and he feels like his chest tightens too.

“Hey, we haven’t forgotten you, so don’t worry, pretty girl. Your birthday’s coming up, right? You excited for that?” James’ thumb rubs at your cheek and he really wonders if, in any other instance, this could be platonic. Surely, you must like him too, right? Everything he does is to make you smile. He feels like he’s in a one-man show trying to embellish himself for your attention, and he’s waiting for the applause. Your hand grabs his as you lean into his touch.

“Got anything special planned?” You ask teasingly, and James can feel the warmth of your smile in his palm.

“For you? Of course.” He squeezes your cheek and you rip away from him, laughing. As you walk out of the closet, your shoulders bump as he wraps an arm around you.

“Don’t worry too much, dove. It’ll all work out,” he says, glad that you’re smiling again. “Wouldn’t let you have a terrible birthday. Never in a million years.”

“Exactly. What type of best friend would you be?” You smirk, walking off to your next class.

The thing is, he hopes you won’t be best friends by the end of it though. James huffs as he puts his hands in his pockets, walking in the opposite direction. This will be the year…. And it’s unsure if it’s a promise to himself or to you.

—

Of course, it wouldn’t be a Marauder plan of action without some mayhem. James had taken it upon himself to organize his big list of to-dos, assign jobs, and make sure everything was set up for your birthday. The Room of Requirement was decked out in enchanted sparklers, a huge cake was adorned by a spotlight in the corner of the room, and all your friends were there to celebrate you. Mary’s putting the final touches on the gift pile before she looks to Sirius and Peter, who are horsing around the room running through the balloons.

“Something’s missing,” she remarks, and the others scamper around to figure out what it is. Lily double checks the sound system for your favorite songs, Marlene makes sure the drinks are flowing and at the table set up in the back. Dorcas whacks Peter and Sirius to stop popping the balloons, and Remus, the smart one, turns on his heel to stomp towards James, who is looking like he could implode from stress at any given moment.

“Prongs…” Remus muses, unsure if he should laugh, or wring his neck.

“What did I forget?” he says sheepishly, looking down at his watch. A balloon pops.

“Did you invite the birthday girl?” Oh shit.

“HAH—Moony, you’re not supposed to be the funny one here, of course I….” his eyes fall down to his scroll of to-dos, looking at the only thing unmarked on his list.

• Get her to come to the best birthday celebration ever.

“I forgot to tell her, didn’t I…”

Right. James might’ve glossed over that one. His nervous laughter shrivels at the sight of his friends’ faces of disbelief as they bombard him with questions and profanities and so, he bolts out of there, trying to find you on the map.

—

Surprisingly, James finds you in the kitchen, sitting infront of a lone cupcake and the house elves singing you the worst rendition of ‘Happy Birthday’ there ever was to magical folk. What should be his plan of action? Acting nonchalant, or owning up to his flub? All of his thoughts go out the window when he sees your despondent sigh at the lit candle, thinking your friends have forgotten his absolute favorite day of the entire year.

“Pretty girl, why are you so sad?” he says, rushing to meet you at the table. You’re pulling at your sleeves and looking at the cupcake in disappointment.

“Did you all forget about me?” you ask, bottom lip trembling at the notion. James shakes his head rapidly, so much so that his glasses are skewed as he looks at you.

“How could we forget the best birthday girl?”

“I’m the only birthday girl, and I haven’t seen any of you today. You didn’t even eat dinner with me,” you pout. Your huff of a sigh blows out the sad little candle, and it almost makes you want to crumple up in embarrassment. Your finger reaches out to sample some of the icing, and you bring it to your mouth, James following the movement with his eyes.

“I’m sorry dove. I might’ve messed up for this one,” he mutters, hating to see you upset.

“If you forgot to plan anything, it’s okay…. You’re not obligated to.” Your head falls to the slope of your shoulder, looking bashful at the idea of being celebrated. But James hasn’t gone all this way to see you unhappy.

“That’s the funny thing about it, erm…. I need you to come with me.” He pulls at your arm, but you won’t budge. How mortifying to conceptualize how you feel in this moment, feeling smaller than ever. A birthday is just a day, after all. Maybe they can make it up to you tomorrow.

“I dunno Prongs, I think I should just go to bed and wake up with a better attitude, yeah? It’s really oka–HEY!” James lifts you out of your chair and throws you over his shoulder, securing you to him before he bolts out of the kitchens. Your vision is blurred and all you can see is the massive muscles rippling down his back as he runs. His bum is quite nice too.

“James Potter, what in Merlin’s name do you think you’re doing? Put me down this instant or I’ll hex you into next week!” You screech, before he puts a silencing charm on you to not alert Filch of your antics. You reach out to hit his buttock as he exclaims, “Ow! Cheeky…. I promise you’ll like this, dove. You really thought we’d forget your birthday?”

There comes a point when he paces back and forth in front of the same stretch of wall and you think he’s insane, talking to himself and turning in circles. After the third lap, he sets you down, your arms crossed and quite stern at the trip he’s taken you on. James smooths your hair down before he looks you in the eyes, standing a bit closer than a friend would, but Godric is he excited to show you his work.

“Ahem. Do you really think I’d forget your big day, pretty girl? It’s my favorite day of the year!” He smiles and you shake your head with a smile. He nudges the door open to reveal all your friends, yelling “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”

Still inaudible, your mouth is gaping wide in shock, silent laughter escaping your mouth. Marlene and Dorcas carry the cake over to you before they sing in all sorts of tunes, none of them on key and possibly worse than the house elves. The light of the candles caresses the warmth in your cheeks as you look at your friends in wonder. You mumble something like a ‘thank you’ but they can’t comprehend it until Remus undoes the charm, whacking James across the head.

—

Later, James sneaks behind you, throwing an arm around your waist, whispering ‘Happy birthday’ for the millionth time, but he’ll never get tired of telling you how much he cares.

“Are you happy, birthday girl?” he smiles, and you get on your tiptoes to give him a kiss that lands on the corner of his mouth. The applause is back, thundering in his ears before he realizes it’s the sound of his heart when you’re near.

Yeah, this will be the year everything changes. His plans are racking up into a list in his brain as you gaze at him all starry-eyed and smiley. Your friends are all looking at you knowingly, and he can’t wait to get to work, for there is just so much to do.

—

“In case you foolishly forget: I am never not thinking of you.” - Virginia Woolf

taglist: @jsjcue

love me some tunes! i listened to this while writing: this will be our year by lowland hum

#made by ma1dita ♥︎#marauders era #marauders x reader #james potter x reader

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clementineofmine · 3 months ago

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Well, shit.

I did it.

I actually did it.

93,000 words later (10% of them in the extra long last chapter WOWEEE) and I finished* my Same Weird Family post S2 spec fic series a whole two days before my self-imposed deadline of Season 3 Season 4.

(I've made my peace with S3 on Netflix and genuinely enjoy some bits of it but really, I still kinda secretly like my idea better. Feel free to tell me I'm wrong I'm here for all of it.)

So, with no further ado, here you go. First link is to the final chapter for anyone patient enough to have stuck around 6 months awaiting that (bless you).

Second link brings you back to the beginning if you're new here or just looking for some family shenanigans and Five Whump. Either way, hope you enjoy, because I certainly enjoyed writing it.

*epilogues don't count, mwahaha

#i....did it #still in shock #assaily you my hero #thank you friend #for betaing #and general awesomeness #five hargreeves #tua #the umbrella academy #klaus hargreeves #allison hargreeves #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #tua fic #post s2 #i wrote it

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papermonkeyism · 3 months ago

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Workplace doodle bandit strikes again!

This time no cardboard boxes were decorated, but I did have five minutes at the end of last friday when I had collected all lists there were for the day, but it was still slightly too early to leave for the day, so I grabbed the closest drawing implement to the list table next to some post it notes.

Forgot to document my deed back when I made it, but I'm happy to report the crime has been noticed (it's in a different spot than where I left it) but hasn't been removed.

Mwahaha!

#Paper does a job #sorry for the double post #tumblr glitched when posting again #the text reads 'Emppu was here :)' in Finnish #guess what my IRL handle is

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ascendancyzine · 2 months ago

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Selection Emails TOMORROW!!

I promised a one week delay and boy-howdy did we get in under that wire XD. But hey, GOOD NEWS EVERYONE -- selection emails will be going out TOMORROW! (Saturday, September 7th).

Like we mentioned before, once you get your selection email, we'll get with you to discuss your ideas for your contribution and you'll get access to the zine's collaboration discord! After selection emails have gone out, we'll do a few rounds of posts to introduce everyone to our writers and artists, so stay tuned! It's a fun list (yes I've seen it, mwahaha) and let me tell you - I'm personally very excited for what's to come :D - your zine marketing mod

#ascendancy zine #chiss ascendancy #chiss #thrawn

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monbons · 7 months ago

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WIP Wednesday

Thanks for the tag @thewholelemon! Your snippet looks hilarious!!! I need more details (Baz, you’re a killjoy!)

Today's post is dedicated to @cutestkilla, who is determined to figure out all my secrets when it comes to The Eternal Life of Baz Pitch. So here is a DELUGE of clues to put up on your murder wall and connect with pins and string. MWAHAHA!

A fabulous playlist. You know what goes well with the angst buffet I'm serving up on AO3? An epic soundtrack. Do the songs match up to specific chapters? Do the lyrics mean anything? Is it just vibes? Who knows. Enjoy. (Spotify Link)

Tidbits from my Dead Darlings doc. No spoilers here. All tidbits are from an entire subplot that I cut very early and all names and identifying details have been redacted.

Apparently, such were the times in which [redacted] was living. People kept all manner of useless things in their homes. Shelves with books they didn’t read. Baskets whose sole purpose was to display knick-knacks. And, apparently, time pieces that did not actually keep time.

Or this little bit of dialogue:

“[Redacted]! How can you not know this?!” [Redacted does a highly specific motion I cannot include]. [Redacted] groans. “[Redacted pet name that should not be a pet name but for some reason is and must also be scratched], what am I going to do with you?” “Love me anyway, I imagine.” [Everything after this point definitely needs to be redacted...]

3. A couple beta comments from @thewholelemon. Have I mentioned she's the best beta in the world? Seriously, all the kudos for this fic should be sent directly to Jenny.

happy kitten or grumpy kitten? lol

HORRIFYING. like something out of a scary movie.

LOL braden!!! polycule!!! this is so funny!

Side note: fuck this guy

Have fun unraveling that knot of nonsense, Dre. [Cackles like the dark and disappears in a cloud of smoke.]

For everyone else, if you got this far, thank you. Have a little chapter 3 snippet under the cut, this time featuring current Baz.

Baz could make this difficult. He could wait for the boy to hit on him some more. To ask him his name or if he’d like to have dinner. But, Baz is feeling rather lonely after his unsuccessful hunt for a one-night stand yesterday and this boy can be good enough. So, he takes a step closer and lifts the boy’s chin with a careful finger instead. The boy’s eyes meet his immediately, which is precisely what Baz wanted. The whole scene sets off another round of barking from the tiny dog. “Take me home with you,” Baz whispers.

Hellos and high-fives. Tag, you're it.

@thewholelemon, @roomwithanopenfire, @noblecorgi, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @youarenevertooold, @cutestkilla, @bookish-bogwitch, @emeryhall, @valeffelees, @beastmonstertitan, @raenestee, @arthurkko, @iamamythologicalcreature, @hushed-chorus, @rimeswithpurple, @aristocratic-otter, @cattocavo, @larkral, @drowninginships, @artsyunderstudy, @whatevertheweather, @brilla-brilla-estrellita, @comesitintheclover, @shrekgogurt

#i enjoyed myself a little too much creating this post #what does that say about me?#that cosmic quiz making the rounds said I make a “good friend and best enemy”#not sure which applies to this post #the eternal life of baz pitch #addie larue x snowbaz #baz pitch #simon snow #carry on fanfiction #wip wednesday

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mangledscrimp · 3 months ago

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HAIII,, Here is Desmond for dy au :3,, I redid her ref sheet and I think it looks so much better than the original sprite edit! (comparison)

(WILL HAVE AZRAN LEGACY SPOILERS.)

As a bit of a warning;; There will be nonsexual nudity in the post going over scars from surgeries and wounds (not very graphic)

As usual, going to go through each bullet.

•Pronouns

Desmond goes by He/She/They/Its. Everything pretty much goes for them. She’s genderfluid.

•AroAce

Desmond in this au is aroace. He still had that past partner like canon desmond does. But after she had disappeared, it helped him discover himself after being unable to be a suitable partner for anyone else due to stress and general complications with understanding people.

•Artistry

Desmond is still very much into art, but taxidermy is what she values higher than most. She thinks it’s a beautiful way to show the life an animal once lived or a creative way to express oneself through an animal.

•Airship or water ship?

Desmond in this au owns a mixture of both! She owns a cruise ship with an attached airship at the top (the Bostonius)! Making her able to leave the ship without having to turn the cruise around and an easier place to have the airship without having to put it into a hanger. Her crewmates often call her red or dessy, a fun little nickname!

•Glasses?

Surprisingly, her glasses are only for show. She’s got no lenses in those red rims and are merely an accessory.

•Profession

Desmond studied the arts of archeology and anthropology. He’s well versed in the two topics. Archeology is something that peaked his interest since it was a major thing in his childhood. Often times, his father would bring him to dig sites to see pottery from the past and how humans used to live. Unfortunately, his father was taken by a suspicious group of people, as well as his mother.

Anthropology also peaked Desmond’s interest as it went along with Archeology. Learning about how human being behaved throughout history over time is interesting to them.

This is more of a habit but, Desmond is also an interested hunter. While learning about different cultures and their practices, she learned more and more about different hunting strategies used by many cultures. These were inspirational, so it slowly became a hobby. Of course only in areas that allowed hunting. Nothing non-ethical for her!

———— AZRAN LEGACY SPOILS!!!

I feel like…you guys will hater me for what I did to descole for the au ok…Don’t get mad at me pleaseeeee!! :< She’s kinda cringe but I DON’T CAREEE MWAHAHA I AM FREE I CAN DO WHATEVER I WISH!!

Cannibalism and Hunting mention uwaaa

remember shit gets diabolical in this au, so don’t be surprised when the main villain is a cringe scary character that goes EEEVIL!!

ok yah this is..this is descole in this au.

Again, gonna do what I gotta do. A lot of what’s in here is related to lore stuff that some people may have or have not read..sooo tralala

This ref is general and not affected by gameplot!

•Similarities and differences

Desmond and Descole act VERY differently. Desmond is simply just an act for the public eye.

Also, not called “Jean Descole” in this au. She’d probably find it rather ugly to be called “Jean” and thinks that name is stupid. Her canon counterpart would definitely hate her.

Desmond and Descole both share the same pronouns, that part does not change. Same with their sexuality.

Desmond is more open and tries her best to communicate with people, while Descole acts more cold and serious. Descole also gets agitated more easily compared to Desmond.

•Outfit and design.

Descole’s outfit is made to hunt. It’s hunting gear. She has white hunting gloves and a purple hunting jacket.

The boa and cravat is for style, might as well look good when you’re hunting. (Not..very affective..but don’t tell her that..)

The cape is also for style but it’s also used to hide her belt and anything else she has concealed in her pockets. The pattern of the cape isn’t very consistent but it has the overall pattern of a leopard with a soft texture. Often times her chihuahua, treats, enjoys to lay in it. (Treats is the Keats dupe for this au! hehe). Can ditch the cape when she needs to run after prey and it’s slowing her down.

Her boots are lightweight so she can easily run after her prey if needed.

her hat is funny, that’s why I did it lols. She can’t own a cat, or else it would knock it off all the time haha!

Under everything, it’s just a plain cream shirt with her hunting pants.

The shadow is a design choice that I like hehe, it allows her to blend in with the darkness since she mostly hunts at night. Also makes her mysterious hehehe lalalal! Desmond can also have this shadow to show the cover being blown.

Mask to conceal her identity.

Wig is not connected to the hat, if she wants to take it off, she’ll take it off from the front, similarly to how the masked gentleman takes off the costume for the big reveal.

•Weaponry

Descole carries a belt on her waist that holds her smaller tools. For example, her cautery tool she stole from her adopted father (Raymond). Carrying it around incase she needs it for prey. (Of course, it’s only been used on one creature she’s hunted.)

Another weapon in her arsenal would be her handgun. It’s used near the ending of Randall’s game. She has larger ones but she carries a small one for quick trips and not for longer hunts.

Lastly, she owns a net guns. Made by herself. The case is a deep dark purple with a red “D” to label it as her own. It has foam to protect each netgun head and handle. The yellow button on the handle is to release her white web onto her prey. She mostly uses her net guns instead of killing what’s she’s hunting right away.

• Diet.

She’s a hunter that eats her prey. if her prey so happens to be Human, she won’t find a problem using every piece that she can.

With her normal hunting, she often uses every part of the animal. For example, if she were to hunt a deer, she’d use every piece.

Though, she has yet to eat a human being. She had plans to feast on a red headed woman after her plans had failed since she had no more use for her, but that sadly didn’t go through. Once you aren’t needed anymore in her eyes, she’ll find a way to satisfy her hunger.

Under the cut there is nudity!! NOT SEXUAL! Just to show Des’s body.

Warn for scarring and nonsexual nudity!! uwaa

This is how Des looks underneath everything!

•Under Both

During the Randall game, Des gets shot in her shoulder, leaving a scar after raymond tried to tend to its wound.

Des had gotten breast reduction surgery by raymond. Raymond has surgical experience, he’s a retired surgeon who decided to work in an orphanage where he met Des and her future crew.

Raymond is like a father to des and was happy to make her feel more confident in himself.

The wound on their right hand was caused by desperate measures going through the labyrinth in Randall’s game. She carved a pathway onto her hand so she wouldn’t get lost.

He’s got a symmetry line down its chest. Idk, just a neat body detail I wanted to add because I think it’s nice! hehe

• Under Descole

She wears a binder under her descole outfit to appear more flat chested. She doesn’t mind her breasts but she’d rather wear that when she’s hunting that a bra. Feels more contained.

OK LALALA THAT IT!!

#ok…it’s out in the world to see now #hi #hope u guys. like her.#professor layton diabolical yuri au #mangledscrimp rant #professor layton au #descole #descole d.y #azran legacy spoilers #desmond sycamore #desmond sycamore d.y #mangledscrimp art tag

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xx-watch-your-teeth-xx · 16 days ago

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calvin’s introooo!!! :D

due to “popular demand” (aka: two comments saying I should make an intro), I’m gonna do an introduction.

let’s get into it! :3 ~

hiiii! my (full) name is calvin o’keefe, but you guys can just call me calvin or cal, and I’m sixteen-years-old.

for those reading who are ~curious (mwahaha)~ I’m a fictive of calvin o’keefe from the 2018 movie adaptation of the “a wrinkle in time” book series.

my system role: I’m a caregiver/soother, usually i just try and make everyone not panic in scary/dangerous/etc. situations.

my interest are: playing video games (usually with luke), watching movies of any genre, story-building, CATS OMG :33 (and dogs, too!).

my favorite food / meal of the day is breakfast :3 I love toast and eggs! (I <3 random ass fun facts.)

I almost forgot to mention! I’m bisexual with no preference whatsoever (funny, cuz I’m dating two guys lol).

I’m really just kinda a goofball (ew I CCRRRIINNGGEEEEEDDD saying that.), and I love seeing my loved ones happy and stuff! :))

fyi: i’d rather not get into the assets of my source in particular, as it makes me kinda uncomfy.

ANYWAYS ONTO THE GOOD SHHTUFF! Here’s what I look like:

I tried to pick the best photos, I think I did pretty well! if you read that ‘in-system dating’ post Finn made, you’ll notice that I’m wearing the red shirt and jacket he talked about in that post.

anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed readinggg! I hope I get the chance to make some more posts on here, because you guys seem so lovely. ^__^

#did osdd #did alter #fictive #fictive heavy system #alter intro

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tiramegtoons · 2 months ago

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WOW another mutual birthday jumpscare it all happens so soon- congratulations on the survival of another lengthy trip around the sun! Hopefully I manage to place this art into the ask box while you are sleeping, then everyone will be blissfully unaware until the morning of mwahaha! I’m sure you’ll receive many other wonderful wishes as the day progresses, because you’ve clearly got a lotta people who care about you >:D

Obviously I don’t know you personally but I’m glad to have the opportunity to interact with your posts online! And in those brief interactions I can tell you are a very chill & respectful person. So I sincerely hope that the next upcoming months will be kind to you as you are kind to others. Because you definitely deserve to enjoy it. As is probably obvious, this here art is themed after your own blogs Subcon banner because I think it’s very nice design. Hope you don’t mind I took inspiration. Happy Birthday!

WHATUDDJEJFJBRJRFJDH

OH MY GOSH THANK YOU!!

(You remembered?? Why did you remember…

Why am I here…)

YOU

YOU IM GONNA EXPLODE YOU(again)

You and your dastardly plans

Darn you

Hdjdjdjfjdj

And Oh come oooon,

Don’t say that.

You really want me get sheepish in front of all these people??/j

Thank you so .. so much, that’s very sweet.< :]

Hope you know there’s people thinking about you too(including myself). And I think you deserve so very much. You’re always giving others such kind and carefully curated tags and comments over others posts and content.

And honestly, between you and me, I don’t really think myself to be a completely good person. Snatcher might have infected my brain, or I could just be stating the obvious. Everyone has parts of themselves they don’t like or admit to.

But hey, I suppose today I should acknowledge and celebrate all those things. Good and bad.

But hold up

Let’s talk about this lovely artwork here shall we?

First of all,

*SOBS*

MYGODWHYFFDJVJTHISISAEEEAAAA

Second of all,

THE BACKGROUND IS SO BEAUTIFULLY COLORED AND BLENDED I wanna drown myself in it!!! GRAAAAAAAA

also one of the best things I love about Subcon is the glowy mushrooms 🍄

ALSO OMG you got some of my favorite things in here

Ya got Morrigan, my sky kid, moon jumper, Black Dahlia, my toonsona, moonjumper and of course, the noodely main course himself EHEHEHEH

Also how do you know I journal?

(I’m so scared rn/j)

Or wait am I drawing…

IN A SPIRAL notebook??

HOW DID YOU-

(IM GOING TO FIND YOU/j)

Also how do you know I look this pensive while I’m doing it?

Wow..

*in a dangerously low voice*

Someone’s put a lot of thought into this, haven’t they?

(I’m really going to go nuclear on you now)

AAAAAAAAAAAA THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!

I’m gonna die now/j

#WAAAAAAAAUUUUGH #💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

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simaddix · 2 years ago

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Download - Plants

Round 4!

You didn't think I would put out a couple and walk away, did you? *coughs* Of course not.... let there be flower warfare! Mwahaha!

Buttercups!

[Notes will be copied to further posts, considering they're all the same facts]

Notes:

These are giant fields. They are meant to fill empty space in CAW/Edit town - you can use them on lots, but as stated they are quite large so if you decide to use them as lot decoration hold onto your hat because they're gonna take up a chunk of ground.

I will be making smaller/single plants to match the fields, but it takes time so please be patient.

These are speedtree plants, so they'll "follow you" when you move around. However consider that any recolors of these plants will become a default replacement unless you make the package unique. So if you would like to recolor them to suit your current world, feel free to, but please make it it's own package so they don't override the original.

These are fairly large but have low polycount - coming in at 330 polys each. That means you can have several of these in one area without weighing down your game too much. That's a win for everyone.

Please feel free to tag me if you use them in your world, I love to see them in your games! <3

Enjoy!

#ts3 #ts3cc #s3cc #ts3world #ts3download

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hopelessdelusional · 1 year ago

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.・。.・゜✭・.✫・゜・。.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

labyrinth

EDIT: i fucked up and forgot to add a pic and it won’t let me so. yeah. also i fixed the out of order mistake i’m so sorry😭

ONCE AGAIN THE OC JORDAN IS NOT MINE‼️‼️‼️ it’s the dearest @kotoprincesa !!

hey…life…am i right?

yeah hopefully you saw the post LMFAO ya boy has had a weird week

i’m sorry this is a short one but like i said shit is crazy

i rlly hope i’ll have time to write tomorrow 😭

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

AND SINCE THIS IS LATE IM GONNA FINALLY TELL U HOW EVERYONE GOT THEIR NICKNAMES FROM BKG MWAHAHA YES:

Sero-tape arms/soy sauce:

1. tape arms is from when it was their freshmen year of high school, and sero once got RLLY drunk at some senior’s party….anyways he got tied up by a bunch of girls. with tape. (yes he did cry as the gang ripped off the tape) fun fact!! Jordan was actually at that party (their cousin was the hostess) and was the one who told the bakusquad abt him getting taped up!

2. soy sauce is from the very first prank Kaminari did on the channel where he gave sero a glass of soy sauce but told him it was coke (sero didn’t speak to him for three days afterwards)

Mina-pinky/raccoon eyes:

pinky is like rlly obvious she has pink hair, BUT raccoon eyes is a much more funny story! you see, just like her lover; kirishima, she too had a sort of…alt-y phase. in her case, she experimented with black clothing but more importantly, black eyeshadow. like. a LOT. kirishima thought it was the CUTEST thing ever and was low key upset when she stopped doing it💀

Kirishima-weird hair/shitty hair/spiky:

he just had a rlly bad haircut when they came back to school for their sophomore year, it was legit like how teen guys had it in the early 2000s-gelled up into spikes 🫥

Kaminari-Sparky:

he tried rewiring their broken fan in college. got electrocuted. went to the hospital. yeah.

Hitoshi-eyebags:

he may not get sleep now, but it was RLLY bad their jr year of high school dear GOD. everyone would have to FIGHT him to get him to go to sleep, even putting that powder melatonin in his drinks 😭😭 (it was actually kats’ idea :(( such a sweetie)

Shoto-IcyHot:

shoto had this…phase…half way thru sophomore year of high school where he would over work himself with sports/work that he would literally put on icyhot every. single. day. (it drove EVERYONE crazy but no one dared to say anything)

Jirou-headphones:

ALL throughout high school jirou always had her headphones in. there wasn’t one time where she wasn’t listening to music and bkg being the old man he is thought it was “incredibly rude” and “disrespectful” (karma is a bitch tho bc after this HIS nickname was old man)

Momo-ponytail:

yeah the gang wasn’t kidding when momo went thru an INTENSE ponytail phase like she would gel it and everything😭😭😭the girls would be begging for momo just to keep it down or else she’ll keep getting called jojo siwa by the freshmen

Iida-four eyes/glasses:

….uh it’s kinda obvious LMFAO

Ochako-pink cheeks:

so bkg and ochako were actually #besties after they put their differences aside (after bkg apologized to izuku) and she would ALWAYS go to him and rant abt her crush on Iida. so, as “revenge” he would call her pink cheeks whenever she was talking to Iida. HOWEVER that so backfired on him bc the nickname made iida think bkg liked ochako (he also noticed their newest infatuation w/each other) and iida one day went to bkg to tell him HE liked ochako and was like “i see that you and ochako have made a new relationship, but i just need to tell you i have feelings for ochako.” anyways. bkg was going thru new anger management stuff and he had to take VERY deep breaths in order not to lose his shit LMFAO

Izuku-Nerd:

….do i really need to say anything? 🤨🤨

hope you enjoyed that! thank you for the wait i love u guys 🫶🫶🫶

.・。.・゜✭・.✫・゜・。.

fun facts! ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

- you know it’s bad when kats is up at 1AM

- ain’t i a genius for that thomas the train gossip account? huh? hm?

- Jordan keeps their man in CHECK (they love each other) and Sero is half scared, and the other half find it very sexy

- also when i wrote that part all i could think of is that one song “walk him like a dog sis” because toshi and Jordan got that covered

- do u like mina and kiri’s users😇😇 idk if i do but whatever

- that gc has…some stuff in it. mainly just all the things of bakugou’s the gang has taken, broken, or lost LMFAO

- toshi and kam are just so cute i’m throwing up sobbing rn

- kiri always scowls at “unnecessary” language but then cusses too… double standards (he has never once called out mina tho HA)

- i feel like i’ve said this before but i need to say it again; i just KNOW in my SOUL kiri uses the laughing emoji

- sero and kam are mina’s ultimate hype men

- kacchan and deku-bed friends forever!

←Prev˚✧ Next→

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ updates every wednesday and sunday! happy wildest dreams wednesday ✧.*

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ TAGLIST IS OPEN just message or comment: @lovelytayy @0anodite0 @bakugouswh0r3 @amethyst123 @nijirosz @dabis-vigilnate-girl @allnamesredacted @ch3rryhaze @ectoplasmictoast @cathwritestragediesnotsins @tati-the-fangirl @autumnfay @call-me-prodigy @chuugarettes @sammyam @kotoprincesa @bubblewordsofsodapop @biggestbeequeen @tqnk @el-hart @i-simp-for-mha-men

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