#BUT HE'LL NEVER WANT THAT FOR THEM
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this is a personal speculation/headcannon of mine (it’s probably extremely ooc so i apologize in advance); but i feel like king baldwin iv would never approach his beloved or confess his love willingly. though he views this illness as a blessing from God, i feel like there’s some part of him that will not allow himself to love his s/o like any other *normal* lover. because there’s still that part of him that views himself as nothing but a battered body- carried only by weak tired bones and ruined skin and polluted blood, and you are far too precious to be burdened with his suffering. he loves you too much for that. so he loves you from afar, and contents himself at the sight of your smile, bright and laughing and innocent, his blue, blue eyes cloudy with longing. and he aches, oh, he aches. (and the worst part of this is maybe the fact that he knows it has nothing to do with his sickness this time.)
#UGHH IT'D BE SO ANGSTYY#COS HIS BELOVED LOVES HIM BACK#BUT HE'LL NEVER WANT THAT FOR THEM#tbh this is the theme i tried to put in both of my previous works for him but i feel like i did a pretty bad job#but mehh#also#i feel like this is pretty ooc so im really really sorry#BUT I HAD TO GET IT OUT OF ME#I HAD TO EXORCIZE THIS OUT OF ME FOR HOW MUCH IT WAS HAUNTING ME ISTGG#but anywaysss#hope you enjoy!!#and please share your thoughts!!#leper king#king baldwin iv#king baldwin iv x reader#king baldwin x reader#koh#kingdom of heaven 2005#edward norton#i NEED HIM SO BAD 😩😩#and its not even romantically 😭😭😭
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going to look at houses with one of the boys because yall need a bigger one with more rooms now that ale and rudy have officially joined the polycule and the agent is really working the kids angle for "you and your... husband?" and ofc it's johnny who goes with you and he's feeding into it by only referring to them as "the boys" that by the time you've settled on a house and you get the agent to do one last viewing so they can all come see, her head fucking explodes first when she sees "the boys" and again after they all take their turns giving you and johnny your initial smooches, and the smile on johnny's face tells you this couldn't have played out as perfectly even in his dreams
#poly boys#it's honestly really cute that johnny considers it this secret little tool in his arsenal#because he never thought he'd be lucky enough to have a single partner to actually see him and love him. and to have this many???#man is fucking overjoyed#he's going to keep getting as much fun out of it as he can#and even tho yall grumble about his shenanigans you can't help but love how happy he is about it all#johnny's out here like “oh no this won't do this room will be too far for simon he'll want to be closer”#and the agent is like “oh is he your youngest? it's always so hard to get them to sleep in their own rooms at first”#johnny viciously nodding along as you picture simon in the mom i frew up pose
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Okay so with the line "the olive tree where we first met" we have two equal hilarious options.
When penelope was sassily like oh I'll marry you if you make a living bed out of this tree right here! Cue penelope stumbling over odysseus very very carefully digging up the tree "because how else is he going to get it to itacha we can't have a wedding bed out in the open in sparta duh"
Or
2. Penelope, knowing that Helen's suitors would soon be arriving to take over her home for a while. Snuck out and went on her own wacky shenanigan filled journey where she scoped out all the major players. Odysseus caught her spying in an olive tree. And when she got back she told Helen she had dibs on the cutie from itacha.
#epic the musical#epic spoilers#Itacha saga#penelope#Odysseus#Odypen#odysseus x penelope#Young odypen courting was filled with wacky nonsense basically canon confrimed#The line “....where we first met” implying that they first met under that specific olive tree#Which has to have some absolutely insane logistics that only odypen (and maybe Athena) could pull off#Odypen being 🥰 🤝 rat bastards in love#Option one odysseus Athena please please please helpppp me pen said she'd only marry me if I made a wedding bed out of this tree#Athena: once again I think you are praying to the wrong person but fuck it how do you think you're going to keep that tree alive#Odysseus: ....a large bucket?#Athena gimme a sec okay I need to go have ares bash my skull in before I watch something this stupid#Athena: checking in on penelope her chosen weaver only for her to be pulling her hair out#Penelope (to her cousins): why did I fucking say that! Beating fathers already an impossible challenge why did I say that#He's going to think I was making fun of him! He's not going to want to marry me now!#Helen: weren't you? Making fun of him?#Penelope: That's not the point!#clytemnestra: Hey he's digging the tree up and has the biggest bucket I've ever seen#Penelope: what?! Trips over every item in the room and gets tangled in her curtains blushing like crazy#Athena: ....it's been a while since I checked up on diomedes training. He'd never put me through this nonsense#Option 2#Helen's maybe a little nervous and wants to know more about who she has to potentially marry and penelope promises her she'll get rundown#Helen did not expect penelope to disappear but she probably should have....it'll probably be fine. Right?#Some kings penlope just straight up greets some she stays hidden and spies#Odysseus is the only one who catches her (he trains woth Athena in the olive Grove#She was not happy when odysseus nearly tripped onto her spear point face first when he saw the strange pretty girl)#And odysseus who's been king for a few years now knows every lady's face because he'll probably have to marry one of them someday
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#kirby#daily kirby#my art#digital#hal laboratory#nintendo#waddle dee#(sort of)#one of my christmas presents was my wife's old desktop computer that she'd beefed up for video games#a while ago granted but still#so I did some more work on getting it set up today and then spent 5 hours playing house flipper :)#big kid computer means I can actually play pc games again#beyond full perfecting cook serve delicious on low graphics lol#also I knew my brother had given me a yakuza game a while ago that I hadn't opened because I was still on my laptop#but it turns out he gave me two yakuza games#so once I get the controller set up I can play yakuza 2 also!#I really enjoyed yakuza 1 except for a couple bs sections in the story and the very very last side mission.#(having a more powerful computer also means once I get the peripherals squared away I can start video captioning)#(and maybe hopefully stream occasionally)#(I really wanna stream my partner playing ace attorney because I want to have his reactions on record for myself lol)#(he loves puzzles and he grew up in the moon logic video game days and he has some background in criminology)#(so either he'll get super into it or he'll absolutely hate it I think lol)#(I've done a very good job of not spoiling anything)#(I know the court segments well but I might keep a guide on the side for the investigation segments)#(I never had that much trouble with them tho cuz I tend to be thorough and methodical)
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ark aftermath
#being in the ark with knives who had gathered such immense power definitely fucked with vash's brain#their fight before the ark haunts me. what do you mean 'blackness of decay' jesus christ#it reminds me of 'youve got more of them...scars'#knives seeing that his brother is actively like. dying.#also what do u mean knives tried to merge with him. that definitely took a toll on both of them#anyway so vash has vivid hallucinations of his brother and whatnot#wolfwood hates himself for that obviously#just imagine the horror he would experience if vash called him 'knives'#vash literally spitting blood because 1) anxiety 2) hes so fucking tired and tortured and shit#he wants a break guys give him a break#but ooobviously vash (the man he is) he'll never accuse wolfwood of trapping him in the ark. of betraying him etc#so he'll just be happy to be there alive and relatively well and hope the same for his brother#at least for the time being before vash meets him and kills him#this is the longest comic ive made sorry if it feels a bit rushed/not well concluding#best i can do#its been kicking my ass for the past week and i just wanted to be done w it#trigun#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d. wolfwood#trigun maximum#trigun fanart#my art#millions knives#<- for a fragment of a second#what else#tw hallucinations#tw blood#tw emetophobia
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i hate continuously reverting back to denial but dear fucking god i just CAN'T believe it
such an important part of my life for over 12 years and he's just gone
i was here for him when he was 17 and loved green beans and i was here for him when he was 31 and trying to get his life together and i have always loved him all the same
i'm going to be plagued by the what ifs of the rest of his life for the rest of mine
#i always really empathized with him because i also have a drinking problem and it is HARD to deal with addiction#if it makes any of you more sympathetic to addiction as one of your mutuals#i just always felt like. since i grew up with them i thought maybe liam and i would get to heal together and settle into our 30s#as kind of healed humans#and he'll never get the chance#and i think i will but it's so hard. watching him not be able to#i always wanted to talk to him about it one day#and i'll never get to#idk i'm rambling i just love him so much and i'm just. devastated#sam says shit#to keep
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#i am never not thinking about them the father/mother/daughter trope the cycle of trauma the hatred that stems from watching your child#be a mirror of your worst qualities put together but more rebellious more naive. you want to protect her but she thinks she knows better &#can take care of herself. if you love me you love me in ways i don't understand!! jesus can always reject his father but he cannot escape#his mother's blood. [i'm a child but i'm not above violence] he'll scream and try to wash it off his fingers but he'll never escape what#he's made up of!!!!#they make me sick claudia you would've loved preacher's daughter by ethel cain so much#interview with the vampire#iwtv#claudia#lestat de lioncourt#iwtv claudia#iwtv lestat#claudia de lioncourt#iwtv amc
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"I was gonna say you're like a son to me.. but you're more than that."
"It ain't that complicated!"
How quickly that shoulder pat of comfort turned into a condescending one.
#he makes me feel so emo#this life was never meant for you but your fate was forced#the way dutch (and hosea) talks to arthur like he's stupid will never sit right with me#like they've been by his side over 20 years they KNOW he isn't stupid because if he was he would have been gone a long time ago#not only is arthur incredibly emotionally smart but he's a trained conman vault breaker gunslinger horse rider you name it#the fact that his own adoptive parents break him down like that hurts#it's a manipulation tactic on dutch's end - break your victims self esteem to make them chase your praise and approval#hosea I believe has just gone along with that kind of attitude but in a different way he just likes to jest lightheartedly#arthur doesn't see the difference though and it's understandable but he takes it to heart#the worst part is that hosea sees through his tough guy act and has called arthur out on it#his act is a defence mechanism to protect himself from being too vulnerable - in arthur's mind#and it isn't a sudden thing it's very likely something that has built over the years given the life he has lived#and hosea notices he knows this#but they still jab at arthur#oh it hurts#is he your son dutch? or is he your guard dog? your personal workhorse?#playing through the second time is opening my eyes more and more#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#mick squeaks#mick rants#mick gifs#arthur morgan#dutch van der linde#liveblogging#you guys gotta understand - arthur seeks and longs for dutch's approval he'll never say it but it's the key motive behind his loyalty#and arthur *rejects* dutch's comfort#he doesn't *want* dutch to pat him on the shoulder because he knows dutch is digging them an even deeper hole#he doesn't want that touch he craves#it's so insanely monumental for such a small scene because it shows us how arthur feels without telling us
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"His little pet Wolverine."
"Tell me somethin'. Are you pissy because I left, or because I'm with him now?"
#emotionally secure logan who never denies being wade's pet kitty#it is a need that wade is not within hearing distance. get that bitch out the room#this dialogue needs to happen when wade is Not There#emotionally secure in a “I trust him in ways none of you could dream of comprehending”#i want them still in that stage where logan is reasonably uneasy to express his devotion in ways like this.#because it is ways like this that wade would understand. it'd dawn on that mf and he'll never let logan live it down#poolverine romantic#poolverine platonic#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool#wade wilson#poolverine#wolverine#deadpool 3#logan howlett#deadpool 2024#deadclaws#god help us if wade hears this and hears logan NOT protest#“damn fucking RIGHT he's my BITCH bark for me pookie”#logan's going to stab him lol#“his little bitch” correct! Logan stabs you#“you're his pet” “and?”#“his wolverine” “yeah the folks at the tva agree”#“his little pet” “hello pot im kettle go fuck yourself”
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He'll make it back.
Loki 1x05 // 2x01
#mobius#loki#lokius#mcuedit#lokiedit#marveledit#loki spoilers#owen wilson#tom hiddleston#dianagifs#owenwilsonedit#marvel#for the anon who asked about my fav parallel this is it!!#for now anyway... 👀#forever a cautious optimist lol#the way loki finally isn't running they WANT to stay they WANT to come back to the only person who's ever grounded them...#in s1 mobius has already accepted he'll probably never see loki again that they'll be on to bigger better things#and mobius always wanted that for them so he makes himself move on then loki not only appears again physically fighting to be with him#but also making clear to everyone there's mutual respect and care and trust in being able to make things better including themselves#fun fact no one in their entire lives has ever put either of them first but each other so please enjoy thinking about that for eternity 🫠#loki s2 spoilers
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We only see each other at funerals
(On Jason, Thalia, Nico, Bianca, and their parallels/connections)
The Titan's Curse (Rick Riordan), @/anxiousmaya_, Right Now (Gracie Abrams), The Battle of the Labyrinth (Rick Riordan), Joan of Arc (Mary Gordon), The Lost Hero (Rick Riordan), Episodes Toward and Elegy for Halley's Comet (Lindsey Drager), Jason Grace (Riordan Wiki), The Gods Show Up (Michael Kinnucan), The House of Hades (Rick Riordan), What the Living Do (Marie Howe), The House of Hades (Rick Riordan), Planet of Love (Richard Siken), The Blood of Olympus (Rick Riordan), Tangerine (Nolune), The Blood of Olympus (Rick Riordan), The Blood of Olympus (Rick Riordan), I Bet On Losing Dogs (Mitski), The Burning Maze (Rick Riordan), @/abhorarchive (Twitter), The Burning Maze (Rick Riordan), Seventeen (MARINA), The Burning Maze (Rick Riordan), @/rollercoasterwords, The Tyrant's Tomb (Rick Riordan), @/the-overanalyst, Where Things Come Back (John Corey Whaley), Grit (Silas Denver Martin), Softcore (The Neighbourhood), The Tower of Nero (Rick Riordan), Frost (Mitski), @/moonbends, I'm Your Man (Mitski), Sun Bleached Flies (Ethel Cain), The Tower of Nero (Rick Riordan), Three (Sleeping At Last), My Art
#nono you don't understand it's about the siblings#it's about how thalia lost jason once only to get him back and lose him again#it's how jason and bianca both walked into their deaths with their eyes wide open#it's about zeus trying to kill nico and bianca and him doing nothing to stop jason from dying#it's about thalia being in the hunters and nico hating her but he knows how to grieve with that kind of loss#so he'll help her. for jason. for bianca. because no one deserves to mourn a sibling alone#like these four barely interact but they're soooo connected i could go on forever#i'm so sad thalia and nico never actually got a scene together after the burning maze#and ALSO#it's about the fact that reyna is one of the most (if not the most) important people left in their lives#LIKE#do you think thalia found out how close nico and reyna were and started watching her more closely#because every person the two of them have shared has ended up six feet under#so reyna gets annoyed with how protective thalia is but she doesn't stop her bc part of her can tell thalia needs it#and nico constantly checks to make sure reyna's life force is still strong#bc he never wants to be caught off guard by a death again#ok im done now i promise#the trials of apollo#trials of apollo#nico di angelo#reyna ramirez arellano#reyna avila ramirez arellano#web weaving#fanart#my art tag#thalia grace#jason grace#percy jackson#percy jackson fanart#bianca di angelo
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Experimentation (Patreon)
#Doodles#UT#Handplates#Sans#Papyrus#Continuing the theme of memories and what Gaster ruined for them haha#He doesn't even have to be here and he's making their lives harder! Par for the course#Lots of things have the potential to trigger their memories - a familiar smell or a food they recognize#But there were so many things they never experienced and sifting between them is very difficult!#Especially considering most of what they ''remember'' is actually just their Reaction to Something - like the smoke smell making them tense#Sans here getting a Reaction for sure tho - being questioned and experimented on does Not feel good#It's Papyrus doing it so that's one thing but even still - not having fun with this#Papyrus is so curious! He wants to know! He always seems to be a bit left out on finding things out haha#Sans being the more science-minded of the two probably has an impact there - ask your brother he'll help figure it out#Unless he really doesn't want to because it feels weird please stop (lol)#Still tho being asked to eat things as an experiment? ''oh hey bro maybe going to grillby's will remind me of something'' ''SANS'' lol#Papyrus didn't mean anything by continuing to ask questions he's just curious!#Sans goes to write down the results and then feels Even Worse so scribbles them out#''don't tell me what to do!'' directed nowhere in particular#Tries really hard to put it out of him mind A Lot#This remembering business sure is uncomfortable!#Look what you did Gaster you took a perfectly fun data-gathering session and turned it into something they'll need therapy for!
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im thinking about celestia and the abyss being literal opposites (chaos and order) and im thinking about childe and lumine being sort of embodiments of that, just not in the way we think. after the latest natlan quest its clear to us what the fatui intends and what they want- i think the tsaritsa more than anything loves humanity, which is why she directly opposes celestia who are known for bringing down different civilizations. childe, as Her weapon and Her blade is an extenction of that: he's a blade forged by the abyss, bathed in Her holyness, meant to strike down those who sin. lumine (talking solely about traveler lumine) is the literal sister of the prince of the abyss, she has clear ties to it and at this point in the story still is hesitant about fully opposing him (i love angst). her entire story revolves around chaose and disrupting celestia's (and the fatui's) order. isnt that fun
i think what childe longs for the most is control- control of himself, his life, his powers, his story, his fate. i think what lumine wants the most is freedom, which is just another phacet of chaos
anyways. you see it. the themes are theming
#i think! childe's character is more interesting if you understand his devotion to the tsaritsa as a way to cope with his abyssal corruption#he wants to be good. he needs to be good. he'll do anything She says because She is holy#and the thing with lumine is just. well obviously she opposes the abyss and the abyss order#but i think what scares her the most is how much she understands her brothers motivation#because in his place she wouldve also done the same (also that is what literally happens in the game if you choose aether as the traveler )#the traveler's achilles heel is their devotion towards the people around the#them *#so she cant even entirely disagree with him because she gets him. because theyre the same in blood and flesh- two parts of a whole star#its why dainsleifs question (do you believe your sibling to have betrayed you?) goes unanswered#to make long matters short- lumine sees more of herself whithin the abyss than whithin celestia#and that scares her#childe on the other hand strives to shine in his goddesses light- anti-celestia or not she's still a goddess meant as an envoy +#for the heavenly principles (how can she oppose that which completes her?)#idk if its a mistranslation but childe has voicelines about stepping on the god's throans#does he hate celestia because they have what he will never have?#the answer is yes- a thought that probably also terrifies him and he probably hates himself for it#anyways#chilumi#need i say more
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There’s this deep possessiveness at the center of Luffy’s chest whenever he looks at Sanji.
Come with me. Be mine. I want you.
But he can’t take him by force - no matter how much he wants him. Sanji has chained himself to the Baratie with ropes made of grief and guilt, and he’s hard-pressed to let go, even now.
People don’t stay for Luffy, but he’s hoping Sanji may stay with him for the sake of his Dream. That’ll be enough - to have Sanji by his side while they accomplish their dreams together.
Or maybe, he’ll stay with him for the sake of Nami. Luffy knows the way the others have written Sanji’s flirtations off, but there’s a depth to Sanji’s feelings, visible in the way that he looks at Nami like she’s the prettiest thing he’s ever seen, like he’s blessed to have her near him. Maybe Luffy’s not worth staying for, but Nami is. It's why he’s going after her despite everything she says.
No matter the reason, he just needs Sanji to stay.
#thinking of this AU where luffy is immediately heads over heels in love with sanji but sanji is in love with nami#so luffy just has to deal with unrequited love and jealousy because he wants sanji so much but sanji is straight#he's also just more insecure and thinks he isn't worth staying for so he'll take sanji in any way he can get him#meanwhile sanji has a love at first sight thing for nami#and nami definitely has feelings for him too#but she's also pretty messed up with the whole arlong thing so she's just not in the right headspace for a relationship#she buries that shit until after the ts#HOWEVER by the time that wholecake rolls around sanji kind of moves on with luffy after realising that he unconditionally loves sanji#and like finally sanji allows himself to be loved back#and luffy who never thought that hed ever have sanji romantically is just soo happy its insane#and nami's happy the two of them are happy#could maybe be lusanami or sanlunami now that i think about it#but anyway#monkey d. luffy#black leg sanji#fanfiction#one piece#sanlu#lusan#sanami
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I understand why it wasn't possible, but it's such a shame we couldn't get Jenny back for The Wish. She and Giles fighting a losing battle side by side and being hardened from it, but remaining each other's solace. Them piecing together the puzzle Cordelia presents to them and having faith in a world better than this, only for Anyanka to try and throw them by hinting at Jenny's death should they return. Giles faltering at the thought of losing her and Jenny, once again, sacrificing herself and destroying the necklace. The way she sees it: she'll either be dead by The Master's hand or by her own, and only one of those inevitabilities gives the man she loves a chance of survival. She kisses him as she plunges herself into the abyss, wanting the last thing she experiences to be his love.
Giles waking up the following morning, the pang in his heart he always feels whenever he remembers Jenny accompanied by a newfound feeling of emptiness, and he's not quite sure why.
#buffy the vampire slayer#calendiles#jenny calendar#is doomed by the narrative i fear: and the writers will never be forgiven for that#rupert giles#he chooses her this time around#he can't go through with losing her even if it will save the world#he endured because he had jenny how on earth can he lose her now? and it certainly won't be by his hand#but jenny also chooses him - she refuses to allow him to remain in a world where meeting their maker in the Master feels inevitable#and she knows he knows she's doing the right thing and she can only hope he finds a new happiness in the world from which he came#which he never does - but he constantly dwells on the happiness he could have had with her.#they could have ran the magic box together. it would have been perfect for the both of them.#he likes to think she'd enjoy england but knows she'd last about three days before wanting to leave (and that's a generous assessment.)#and when the kids are leading their grown up lives away from him he longs for jenny to be curled up in his arms#he'll never know he briefly had her back#but the life he wanted them to live wasn't possible in the world in which they made it#something to potentially write one day#if anyone does know any fics with this concept though please let me know!#meg.txt
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cannot believe in book 7 draco somehow found the audacity to look straight at ron and hermione who were entirely undisguised and pretend not to be sure who they were
#he probably didn't want to be responsible for their deaths. for all his talk he's known them since they were 11 after all#and also maybe part of him knew that harry would never forgive him if he let anything happen to them.#not that he thinks harry will forgive him anyway for his role in everything. surely he thinks harry must despise him now#but still. he can't do it. plus he can't let harry die and if anyone tries to murder his friends draco is sure he'll try to intervene#right there on the spot no matter the risks.#Harry Potter#Draco Malfoy#harry potter and the deathly hallows
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