#BUT!!! i do think the game has a lot of positives too

[celestiamour]

HAAII!! would u be able to do se-mi (player 380) comfort where the reader has like a nightmare and goes to her?

ft. se-mi x f! reader — squid game

╰₊✧ you look for her after a nightmare┊0.5k words

contains: comfort! canon-typical violence, “friends” with feelings

➤ author's note: short one! college and writer’s block is kicking my ass

“se-mi? are you awake?” you whispered, keeping your voice as small as possible so as not to disturb her if she wasn’t. 

she looked to the side to see your head poking above the frame of her bed, surprised to see you but not complaining considering how bored she was alone in her thoughts. “yeah, what’s up?” instinctively, she scooted over to the side to make room for you to join her on her bunk, allowing you to crawl under the blanket after a moment of hesitance.

“i hope i’m not bothering you…” you also hoped she wouldn’t be able to tell the extent of how flustered you were at the close proximity. the sheets still smelled like her and you had to consciously stop yourself from leaning in too close to her warmth so as to not appear strange. 

“no, don’t worry, i’m a bit of an insomniac.” she’s always been a night owl with a sleep schedule so horrid it would make any functional member of society gasp, and tonight is no different. aside from the two of you, she didn’t think there was anyone else awake aside from the guards watching over them. there was no way to tell what time it was, but she would make an educated guess of around three in the morning. “did something happen?”

“i-i had a nightmare…” despite it being a completely natural thing, you sounded embarrassed. she briefly wondered why you came to her instead of young-mi or dae-ho considering they would have been a lot better at comforting you than she would be, but then you continued, “you… died in it, and i got really scared…”

she couldn’t help but chuckle slightly at the notion and reached out to brush your hair out of the way to get a better look at your pretty face in the dim light, “you don’t have to be scared for me, i’m a lot tougher than i look. i don’t plan on dying anytime soon without a fight.”

“yeah… i guess so… honestly, i wish i could be more like you,” you sigh wistfully, “you’re so calm and collected even in a hellhole like this, i don’t know how you do it…”

“well, it helps to have a good friend like you by my side…” a good friend she calls you, though it carries a positive meaning, feels a bit bitter on her tongue when spoken. you were supposed to be an ally and nothing more, someone whom she looks out for in exchange for the same, and yet she finds herself wishing for more— wishing to hold you tightly in her arms with promises you’ll both make it out together. to call you a girlfriend would be much sweeter.

but all she can do is exist in the same space with you, pat your head, and tell you to sleep since you’ll need all the energy you can get for the next day. you fall before she does, shaky breathing slowly falling steady, and she continues to stay awake, staring at your slightly chapped lips through half-lidded eyes wishing to kiss them.

[durgeapologist]

Saw a post complaining that a companion gave too much feedback about Solas to Rook and I was kind of on board with the criticism thinking it was about being spoonfed info but then the rant ended with a snide "I romanced him you didn't so shut up, you'll never know him like I do" and it honestly rubbed me the wrong way. You're playing ROOK. Rook can't see Solas through a romanced Lavellan's eyes. They don't have the events of inquisition to go off of? Idk they lack of distinction between player and character rubs me the wrong way with a lot of Solavellans who dump on Rook. And I feel like that's a big factor in general I see in DAV criticism. That people don't like that people in game keep telling Rook about Solas but honestly I never thought it was a big deal and in a way those are actually good perspectives to have since only viewing him through the romanced lens gives you a very rose tinted window into the man's mind and you don't get to really see how other people are affected by him. Can it be tedious at times to sit through a breakdown of something you just saw? Sure, I can see that, but when they add "I know him better than you ever will because I played Solavellan" it kind of just comes off as them being mad that people were negatively affected by their pookie-bear. Even then it's just the lack of self-awareness or even narrative awareness. Like, I'm sorry not everyone in the fictional universe is privy to your internal perspective that you got from playing the Solavellan route? That Solas had an impact on the wider scope of people he interacted with and not all of the impressions he made were positive? I kind of hate it because I'm a Solasmancer myself but I feel like I don't have many people in the fandom to talk to because they treat it like a dating sim.

OH GOD ANON I THINK I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU.

“only viewing him through the romanced lens gives you a very rose tinted window into the man's mind and you don't get to really see how other people are affected by him.”

“solas had an impact on the wider scope of people he interacted with and not all of the impressions he made were positive.”

^^^^ these have always been my two biggest critiques/points when i talk about the culture surrounding the solavellan ship but also, by proxy, solasmancer culture as a whole (bc some dreadrookers take this mantle up, as well). seeing him as simply yet another romance option, and only seeing him through the lens of his romance, causes a LOT of missed (and absolutely necessary) context and nuance to his character as a whole.

people who don’t romance him, ie. people who have never/will never romance him, are just as valid in their interpretations of him because 1) his friendship path is just as important, and 2) it’s quite literally how everyone else that isn’t a romanced lavellan across thedas sees him in-world. even rook. he has made now over a decade’s worth of modern impressions on those around him, and building on what you said, it’s so very likely a majority of them were not, in any way, positive. especially in the years following trespasser, when he is actively in survival mode and being hunted down cross-continent.

solas comes across as callous and uncaring, or rather— fronts as callous and uncaring to those he doesn’t view as his equal. it was painfully obvious in dai, and even more so in dav with the expansion we got on his character. he is goal-oriented, has a one track mind, and has made plenty points in proving that he will stop at nothing to achieve said goal, all the way up until the end of act 3 in dav.

refusing to acknowledge those characteristics or those very valid viewpoints from others, and instead dismissing them because “well i romanced him so i know him best and therefore i am superior in my knowledge of the depths of his arc” is so shallow in a way that i can’t even begin to describe. at least, no better than you already did, anon.

if you EVER want someone to talk to about this, please dm me. i am obsessed with takes like these and could talk for hours about unromanced solas and how his redemption arc is so much more meaningful when looked at thru an unclouded lens.

eta bc some weird asks are coming my way: i am a solasmancer??? lmao??? hello??? take one look at my account and you will see that. i am just not of the opinion that his romance is integral to understanding his character, whatsoever, either for solavellan OR for dreadrook, or any other solas ship. he is his own character with his own arc and growth/decline/development that happens WITH or WITHOUT a romance. bro needs a friend sometimes, and he is also a morally flawed, egotistical villain. WHO I LOVE!!! i just refuse to make excuses for him or whiddle down his entire persona to his romantic potential. that is all!! can't believe this is in debate pls my rook and solas are definitely together! he is just more than a love interest. and that is A GOOD THING to admit.

[chronurgy]

Taking a look at Dragon Age sales figures -

Origins - 3.2 million copies sold (as of Feb 2010, about 4 months after its launch)

Two - 2 million copies sold (as of two months after launch)

Inquisition - over 12 million copies sold (10 years post-release, unfortunately I can't find a more comparable time frame for sales)

Veilguard - 1.5 million "players reached" (about 3 months post-release, expectation for 3 million copies sold, unclear definition of players reached)

Awhile ago, when the generally positive critical reviews for veilguard came out, I said I was pretty sure bioware would be fine and would make it long enough to at least produce mass effect 5. Now, looking at these stats, I'm not so sure. Dragon age 2 was generally treated as a bit of a commercial flop for bioware, so seeing veilguard undersell it by a minimum of half a million units is not encouraging. Especially when it undersold ea's expectations for it by at least half. And I don't think ea's expectations were unreasonable! Three million in sales would put it in between the first two games and well below inquisition, the game it's a direct sequel to. That honestly feels a little odd, since it would imply that the studio didn't believe they picked up any new fans from inquisition's success.

I think that the 10 year gap was absolutely corrosive to the fan base. I understand why it happened on a development level, but it was an absolutely massive mistake. They completely lost the ability to capitalize on the excitement and name recognition inquisition generated as the incredibly popular game of the year for its direct sequel. Again, I completely understand what happened. I just think that all of the decisions that allowed this to happen (canceling project joplin, generally putting the series in the back burner, etc) were incredibly bad. They lost hype and momentum and ended up with far less in excitement and sales than they could have, especially since they lost a lot of long-time, key employees because of the development hell that ensued. This is on both bioware and ea. Bioware for their incredible mismanagement and just constant bag-fumbling and terrible working conditions and choices generally, and ea for allowing this to happen and generally pushing their studios toward a live-service model (plus all the other general ea fuckery).

It's also worth mentioning the "players reached" wording. That obviously doesn't mean the same thing as "copies sold," which likely means that the game sold less than 1.5 million copies. Admittedly, it's probably worth asking exactly how relevant sales numbers still are as we enter the era of game streaming services. It's genuinely hard to say, and that's going to be an industry-wide shift. But no matter how you slice it, the game clearly didn't do well commercially.

Looking toward the future, the first question has to be not what bioware will learn from this, but if bioware will even survive long enough to learn from this. They've had three poor releases in a row in an industry that isn't exactly forgiving. There have also been a few high profile departures recently, and while that might not be particularly unusual after a game launch, it can't be overlooked entirely. The studio is very much at risk of shutting down at this juncture.

But assuming bioware doesn't shut down, where do they go from here? What lessons will they learn from veilguard's failure? While it clearly wasn't a commercial success, it reviewed fairly well with a metacritic score of 82 (compare Andromeda's score of 71, Inqusition's of 85, origins' of 86, da2's of 79, and the Mass Effect trilogy's low 90s). Player reviews, on the other hand, were more mixed. Will bioware decide they made a good game and players just didn't get it? Andromeda and veilguard's writing definitely had some similarities, so maybe this is just the direction the studio has decided to go in and nothing will shake them from it. Or will they see the feedback and lurch too far in the opposite direction? They have a habit of doing that (they did it with inquisition after da2 and anthem's facial animations after Andromeda, for example). It could be that they decide it needs to be even more generic, even safer, to make sure they get the broadest possible appeal. It could be that they decide they need to double down on the nostalgia factor to attract the players of the older games. I don't know. I don't think anyone really does, at this point.

Honestly, I don't think bioware knows either. The studio clearly has a lot of issues that will take a lot of time, money, and introspection to fix. These issues are likely very entrenched in the studio's culture, and have been present for at least a decade, if not longer. And I don't know that bioware has the resources or the willpower to address them, given the circumstances.

[phantasmatoucan]

Character ask game for mod Owl: I was gonna ask about Smitten, but I'm sure someone else will do that-

So how about instead... tell me about Skeptic. That fluffy bird-

THE FLUFFIEST GUY EVER

[Send Me a Character and I'll List Ask Game]

FAVORITE THING ABOUT THEM

I ABSOLUTELY ADORE HOW INTELLEGENT HE CAN BE, HOW HE CAN COME UP WITH A PRACTICAL PLAN THAT CAN HELP TLQ OUT AND MAKE IT WORK [including also whatever other voice was already there into his plan because im sure he knows he can't do this alone] BUT I ALSO LOOOOVE HOW DUMB HE CAN BE AS WELL AND NOT BECAUSE HES AN IDIOT BUT BECAUSE OF HIS DISTRUST OF OTHERS AND GETTING TOO MUCH IN HIS OWN HEAD THAT HE STARTS MISSING THE POINT OF WHAT THEYRE EVEN DOING, HE NEEDS ANSWERS NO MATTER THE COST, I LIKE TO THINK IF HE HAD SOMETHING LIKE RPG STATS HE WOULD HAVE THEM LIKE 20 INTELECT AND -2 WISDOM, HE HAS A HARD TIME JUDGING THE CHARACTER [in this case the princess] UNLESS HE CAN GUESS WHAT SHES TRYING TO DO, HE DOES CARE ABOUT THE PRINCESS, AFTER ALL HE CAME TO BE BY TRYING TO FREE HER BUT FOR HIM TRYING TO DECIPHER EVERYTHING THATS HAPPENING IN A LOGICAL MANNER COMES FIRST AND FOREMOST, ALSO I LOVE HOW HE CAN ADAPT AS WELL IF PUSHED ENOUGH BY OTHER VOICES, LIKE WHEN PARANOID TOLD HIM ABOUT THE SHACKLES BEING TO RUSTY AND HE GIVES IN INTO PARAS LOGIC, THE SAME WITH HERO IN THE DEN, HE CAN BELIEVE IN THIS HONESTLY ILLOGICAL THINGS BUT HE NEEDS A REASON TO BELIEVE, HE CAN'T JUMP INTO CONCLUSIONS WITHOUT QUESTIONING THEM ITS NOT IN HIS NATURE

LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT THEM

ERM.... ERM... ERM.............................. I DONT KNOW... I THINK MAYBE THE FACT THAT THE LINE WHERE HE SUGGEST GETTING THE HEAD OF THE PRISIONER AND BRINGING IT WITH THEM WAS CUT OUT AFTER PRISTINE CUT... BUT THATS NOT HIS FAULT HE WAS LOBOTOMIZED A BIT 💖

FAVORITE LINE

"Looks like we've seen through your lies at last, Mr. The Narrator. If that even is your real name." HES SO STUPID

BROtp

SMITTEN AND SKEPTIC ARE THE BROS OF BROS FOR ME, GREY BROTHERS MY BELOVED, SMITTEN HELPS OUT SKEPTIC TO UNDERSTAND OTHERS A BIT MORE AND DISCERNING HIS EMOTIONS A BIT BETTER, ALSO HELPING HIM OUT ON NOT GETTING FRUSTATED AS EASILY IF THINGS DONT GO HIS WAY AND SKEPTIC HELPS OUT SMITTEN TO THINK MORE ABOUT HIMSELF AND DOING THINGS FOR HIMSELF, NOT REVOLVING HIS LIFE AROUND THE PRINCESSES SO MUCH, AND THEN SMITTEN INVITES SKEPTIC TO A TEA PARTY AND THEY HAVE A GOOD TIME JUST HANGING OUT

OTP

IVE BEEN INFECTED WITH THE SKEPTUNIST AGENDA AND LET ME TELL U I THINK THEYRE... VERY CUTE TOGETHER ACTUALLY, SKEPTIC TRYING TO UNDERSTAND OPPORTUNIST MOTIVES WHILE OPPORTUNIST TRIES TO GET ON SKEPTICS GOOD SIDE AFTER ALL HAVING A SMARTY PANTS ON HIS SIDE WILL ALWAYS BE GOOD FOR ANY PLAN HE CAN COME UP WITH BUT SLOWLY THEY REALIZE THAT DAMN.... I KINDA ENJOY THE COMPANY OF THIS PERSON THE MORE I TRY TO GET CLOSER TO THEM, MAYBE THEY CAN EVEN BECOME PARTNERS IN CRIME....

NOtp

I ACTUALLY HAVENT SEEN THAT MANY SKEPTIC SHIPS SO I WOULDNT EVEN KNOW IF I HAD ONE LMAO

RANDOM HEADCANON

I THINK HE HAS ANGER ISSUES AS HES PRONE TO GET FRUSTRATED VERY EASILY, HE JUST HAS A CALMER WAY OF EXPRESSING IT BY TRYING TO LOGIC HIS WAY OUT OF IT BUT ITS HARDER WHEN HE ONLY FINDS DEAD ENDS, ALSO A HEADCANON FOR MY VERSION OF SKEPTIC IS THAT HE CAN FLY AT ALL BECAUSE OF THE POSITION OF HIS WINGS AND THAT HE NEEDS GLASSES TO ACTUALLY READ lol

UNPOPULAR OPINION

HAVENT LOOKED AT THE FANDOM LONG ENOUGH TO THINK OF THIS ONE, I HAVE NOT SEEN MANY PEOPLE TALKING BADLY ABOUT SKEP OR ATLEAST IN A WAY I FEEL LIKE IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE FOR ME LMAO

SONG I ASSOCIATE WITH THEM

GOLDEN NUMBER BY IYOWA [I PUT THE SUB VERSION BUT CHECK OUT THEIR OTHER SONGS IN THEIR MAIN CHANNEL THEYRE VERY GOOD, I ASSOCIATE THIS SONG TO HIM SPECIFICALLY THE LAST PART A LOT lol]

FAVORITE PICTURE OF THEM

SINCE YOU KNOW, THE VOICES DONT REALLY HAVE LIKE SET IMAGES OR DESIGN ILL JUST PULL FROM MY ART O21L3KR12R, U GET MY FAV PIC I DREW OF HIM

[crepezinhos]

hiii, ive been like binging your work and i LOVE IT!! its so hard to find yandere genshin blogs fr😭 can i request like yandere!scaramouche punishing the reader bcs of something bad, and then like after thag reader did not want to do anything and that made him more upset and tried punishing the reader again but bcs of that the reader dies (im so so sorry if this a weird request but ive been craving HEAVYYY angstt)

Flawed Execution

POV: Scaramouche isn’t the fastest man to realize if he has hurt a person, nor does he care about them when he does it. But now that it cost your life, for how long will his ignorance last?

⚠️ WARNINGS:

— This is a Yandere and Angsty SFW work

— Reader is FEMALE and uses SHE/HER PRONOUNS

— There is NO comfort and contains graphic mentions of heavy (physical) violence

— Fatui!Yandere!Scaramouche x Imprisoned!Reader

— AU is: In-Game

“Mmmngh..!” Your legs struggled to move in direction of your bed, almost falling down to the floor within every step you took.

But you knew that if you did crumble, it’d be agonizing and difficult to stand up again or control the thick bleeding in your belly that would be favored by gravity.

You’ve been through enough reasonless torture today. First, it was him, who got mad at you for acting too shallow and not so wifely with him, and threatened you with violence. His short, harsh words about using his hands on you kept spiraling in your head, and the anxiety you’ve consequently built up throughout the hours had only made your behavior less appropriate to his high standards. That’s when his second scolding came and when his previous words about punishment were accomplished just as promised.

Glass was his weapon.

Glass from the thin wine glasses you were peacefully sharing with him before he noticed your shaky hands and timid milliseconds of eye contact.

Glass shards that penetrated your skin like mosquito bites in multiple corners of your body, and have now unified themselves to make your whole body irritated with pain. Glass shards that had swirled themselves with your locks when he hit you in your head. It didn’t even matter to him if that was his favorite haircut on you or if you had invested hours in it to make yourself presentable to him as he had always demanded from you.

How ironic, don’t you think?

And that bigger glass shard that landed very roughly in your belly when it was turn to hit your glass of wine in your body, and he didn’t seem to realize how grave the injury was.

Just remembering that moment of him dragging you through the tips of your hair down to your chamber in the basement, despite all the pain you were already going through, while he screamed horrible words at you, or you, worming in the floor in pain while banging in the room’s metal door while screaming ‘I’m sorry’ over and over like a defenseless little prey about to be eaten, made your stomach twist itself with angst.

“You useless, USELESS wife! If you can’t even look at me properly, I won’t let you look at anything else but the gray walls of your bedroom!”

That was it. You were done for.

That was why the only torture you were willing to accept at this point was the pain you’d have to feel to get on your bed and finally rest. Somehow, you were even excited for it, unlike all the other past nights that you went to sleep wondering when would you ever get rid of him, but at least sleeping deeply thanks to its softness.

With a lot of struggle, you folded and lifted your right leg, opposite to where your injury was, landing it on your bed. Then, with an uncomfortable moan and a single arm in the bed, you forced yourself to jump and lean forward, successfully landing on the bed’s wooly sheets in a very awkward position with your back facing the roof.

Due to that favorable position, you felt even more layers of blood gushing down the hand that was trying to hold it back to your guts, which made you groan in discomfort.

Now, in a situation like yours, do you consider that injury a bless or a curse? That injury could cause you to possibly lose the movement of your legs and make you even more vulnerable to someone like him. That injury could heal normally, and no permanent damage would prevail. Or that injury could lead you to death.

…

You don’t want to die.

But at the same time…

Your logical thinking couldn’t deny that it was one of the few ways you could ever gain freedom again. And if there’s any sort of after-life destiny for your soul instead of a nothingness… you’d finally rest, right? No matter how you repelled the idea of death, a man like the 6th Fatui Harbinger makes it attractive.

After that little moment you took to think and breathe, you forced yourself to swiftly turn around, your injury now facing the ceiling while the left side of your head perfectly rested at the feathered pillow.

What a perfect position.

Relaxing, comfortable, and helpful…

If you were to truly die right now, at least you’d die with dignity. You’d die in a comfortable bed after enduring your roughest beating, without any guilt of knowing that you didn’t do that to yourself. After all, suicide was never an option to you, nor would he ever let your hands harm themselves.

And if you were to survive, it wouldn’t be as honorable as death. To wake up covered in rotting dark blood, whimpering in pain and alone in that eerie chamber with him stalking you from the door’s window or the camera he has in a tall corner of the walls.

Finally, the exhaustion weighing your eyelids finally became too overwhelming for you, so they closed, and you didn’t insist on keeping them open anymore.

Tomorrow would be a new day.

.

Pancakes, juice, biscuits, cake and fruits.

These are all, right? All her favorite breakfasts in a single tray.

She’s going to like it, I know it. And then, I’m gonna slide in some apology, no matter how crappy it is, and she’s going to accept it and praise me just as I trained her to do.

Everything will be back to normal, Kunikuzushi.

It wasn’t as bad as you think.

The heavy metal door to her chamber cranked loudly as I pushed it open, immediately finding myself staring at her laying down at the bed surrounded by dark, back facing me and being highlighted by the light of the hall I came from.

“Y/N.” I called out calmly while trying to keep my worries shoved down my throat.

And she didn’t move. Perhaps my volume was too low?

“Y/N, wake up.” Her body remained frozen in its place, no matter how much I had increased my volume.

Is she really this mad at me?

Well, I know it’s not going to be a tough to make her obey me anyway, so her silent treatment is useless.

“Are you trying to do that thing where you pretend to be asleep again so I’ll leave you alone, hum?” I finally decided to put myself inside the room, still standing as far as possible from her bed.

God, what is this awful smell of blood? Has she bled this much yesterday?

“It’s ok, don’t be shy. I know you can smell your beloved pancakes from there…” I gently shook the plate from where I was, trying to tease her into waking up.

But an annoyed sigh was all that came out of me due to her stupid, unconvincing act of being asleep.

“Listen, Y/N, I know what I did yesterday was horrible and wrong, okay?” My voice finally bursted some of my worry out of my throat, finally deciding to face the moment I most wished to avoid today, actually having to apologize. “I don’t know what happened to me, I just got really angry and…” I put my palm around my face as the embarrassment of apologizing took me over. “There’s no fucking excuse, is there?” No matter how much vulnerability and sincerity I was showing to her, she kept responding me with an awkward silence.

Isn’t she scared of doing this at all? Knowing how easy it is to anger me? Knowing how cruel my punishments can be? Using the same silence of hers was what led me to punish her yesterday? And she’s doing it again?

What happened to the third law of physics?

Every action has a reaction?

“All I’ve ever wanted for us is a happy married life, ok?! This wasn’t supposed to happen! We should just ignore it, pretend it never happened, and keep moving forward, ok?!” My voice cracked a few times as I started to vomit words.

Was me being this… pathetically apologetic and regretful loser not enough for her to acknowledge me? Isn’t she noticing the sadness in my tone?

“It would be easier to achieve if you were more collaborative!” Neither did harsh, unfair words work with her.

I sighed in annoyance, giving up on both alternatives of communication.

“Ever since I met you, I felt alive. It felt like I’d found peace for once in my life. I couldn’t just let this rare opportunity to slip away from me, Y/N, you’d never understand it, but you’re what has been keeping me more sane than ever. No mater if you hate me, repel me, I need you, Y/N. The more you stay with me, the better of a man I become, the better of a husband I become, the happier you become! You know it! You’ve seen it with your own eyes! How I treat you compared to the maids?! To the other Harbingers?! To my soldiers?!” I could feel even more worry rise to my brain as she still refused to acknowledge my existence.

But I’m being romantic. I’m confessing how deep and true my passion for her is, yet, it’s like I’ve never even opened the door in the first place. Isn’t this what a common human like her would want to hear? A man who loves her every cell and is willing to do anything for a fraction of reciprocation?

Have I hurt her this bad? Have I truly broken her trust for me with I did that yesterday?

“For fuck’s sake, can you acting like a bitch and fucking look at me?! I’m talking to you!!” Not even insulting you was making you move. “I’M DIRECTLY APOLOGIZING TO YOU!” I screamed from the bottom of his lungs while waving his arms to call her attention, expecting her to at least flinch in fear since I know Y/N didn’t like it when I was screaming at her.

But as I saw her body kept itself immobile, my anger finally reached its boiling point.

“I swear to God, do you want to be punished again?! You think you can just make me speak all of that bullshit and ignore m—!” I stormed in her direction, dropping the plate carelessly in the floor, my arm immediately reaching to your shoulder and pulling it to his eyes.

And the sight that was revealed to him made him swear his artificial body had stopped working for a few seconds.

Not a single muscle of your face moved, accentuated by an extremely pale skin tone on it compared to your normal one.

But the thing that most pulled his eyes’ direction was the big stain of blood in your belly.

Scaramouche froze in his spot. He wasn’t breathing or moving, he was just staring at your body. It made it easier for his consciousness to remember more about yesterday’s incident.

“Scara, please! I’m bleeding a lot! Can you please give me one towel?! O-Or anything to stop the bleeding?! Sca—… Darling, pleeeeease!!” The bangs at the door, the desperation in your voice, your pathetic body knelt down like a dying worm, begging for his mercy…

Was this why you were calling for him? Because of this gigantic pool of blood in your belly? But yesterday, when he heard those cries, all he thought was how annoying it was, and how he proudly ignored you with a sadistic smirk in his lips. Watching you beg for his mercy was somehow pleasant to him, after all.

He quickly shook his head back to reality. Thinking about those seconds made him feel the knot in his stomach tighten with more guilt.

“… Y… Y/N..?” He shook your shoulder gently, and the result was obvious, you didn’t respond.

He scoffed.

You were a good actress, weren’t you? You might even get a prize for it after being punished for tricking him so meanly. There was no way your soul had faded away from your corpse, you were either acting or just passed out because of the amount of lost blood!

Right..?

Scaramouche’s anxious hand immediately obliged to its instinct and placed itself on top of the left side of your chest, right on top of your heart… your paralyzed heart.

“Y/N…” His voice came out as a vulnerable mewl, one that would get worse every second he didn’t see you answering him. “Y/N.” He placed both his hands in each shoulder of yours and shook them lightly. “Y/N, wake up.” His voice was firm in its order, but worry had taken his voice chords, cracking its every syllable.

But all you did was bob up and down with his movement with no resistance at all. It almost seemed like you were a real-size doll in his hands.

“Y-Y/N, I know you’re awake.” He called your name like prayer, as he still found some hope to reach a hand to your eyelids and force them open while the other barely broke your shoulder’s bones with its grip.

But the direction of your stare was far from being directed at him.

“Ha… ahaha…” He couldn’t help but scoff at you in pure nervousness. “You aren’t…” He couldn’t bring himself to say the god-forsaken word. The one thing he hoped you to avoid at any cost… your death.

“Y/N, wake the fuck up!” His hand gave up in your eyes and went back to your shoulder, shaking you more violently then before, his eyes hopefully searching everywhere for any bit of movement.

But you simply just wouldn’t move a muscle.

He looked down at the big pool of blood in your lower belly. Rage consumed him as he violently moved his hand to pull your shirt upwards, raging at your stupid circulation system that pumped blood out of you instead of your veins and arteries, angry at the the glass that dared penetrate your beautiful skin without his consent and take you away from him.

“No, no, no, no…” He couldn’t believe he allowed himself to think such a thing. You? Taken away from him? Like this?!

An idea rose to his mind as soon as he thought of that idea.

This was all caused by him. His negligence, his sadism, his lack of empathy and sensibility, his obsession, his thirst of blood, his obnoxiousness.

“Y/N, wake the fuck up!” Scaramouche’s patience was wearing thin. “For Tsaritsa’s sake, no..!” And his lips were starting to shake with his rising rage.

How could’ve he ignored your pleas yesterday?

How could he feel pleasure when he saw all that blood and all those tears coming out of you? His precious princess that he had fallen in love with so badly? That mere common girl that he transformed into a public figure by being his wife.

“You hid this away from me… YOU DID THIS TO ME!” Finally, his voice couldn’t be held back to a normal volume anymore as he begun shaking your shoulders up and down too. “WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?! WHY, WHY, WHY, WHY?! I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING THAT YOU WANTED!” His own Electro delusion even tinkled in purple as he raged on you.

You were actually dead.

You had actually distanced yourself away from him to a place he couldn’t reach.

But Scaramouche was fighting his best to not accept it. It was written all over your face that your soul was gone, but he wanted to gaslight himself that you were still just asleep.

Although his hopes were admirable, it simply didn’t work. It would never work for someone as pessimistic and honest like him.

In search of comfort, he threw himself against your body and finally let those hanging tears in the corner of his shiny purple eyes to fall, and he begun whimpering nonstop like a little kid on your and screaming in your shoulder.

“Please, please, please, please..! You can’t go, YOU CAN’T GO! Not yet, please! Not yet!” He rubbed his forehead in the crook of your neck, wiping his salty tears in you mercilessly, but no sign was returned to him. “Oh, Archons, please! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! Anything but her, please! ANYTHING BUT HER! My love… oh, my love..!” His hands slid under your back and he hugged your body like a piece of wet porcelain as he pathetically abandoned his hatred for the Gods and begged for their mercy upon his sins.

But at the same time, he couldn’t help but claw his fingernails into your skin. But he immediately regretted it as soon as he realized he was hurting you even after you died of pain. Scaramouche gave up, and instead one of his hand climbed up to your head and started fixing your hair that was so ruthlessly ruined, trying to somehow bring your dignity back.

“Don’t leave me, please..! Don’t leave me! I’ll fix you, my love… I promise! I’ll fix everything!” What was he thinking would happen as he talked to your dead corpse? That the ‘power of love’ would suddenly make you awaken again and forgive him?

Has he just realized how much your words and your forgiveness truly mattered to him? Or was it that now that he didn’t have access to it, he was starting to crave for it like a drug-addict?

He didn’t mean it. He swore on his pathetic life. It was an accident. It wasn’t his intention hurting you. It wasn’t his intention hurting you enough to permanently take you away from him.

“I’m so sorry I left you here, darling…” Just to imagine the weigh of his actions and its consequences… you in an agonizing pain, thrown in a freezing-cold floor, completely unappreciated and unloved by him despite all your previous efforts… it made something inside his chest, right where his so-desired heart was supposed to be at, to burn. “Oh, Archons!” How human of him to be unable to bare the power of his own imagination. Could he even call himself a failed puppet project anymore? What kind of puppet, especially a flawed one, cries and grieves death like this?

How come does his sister, the Shogun herself, view death as simply the end of life, while he interpreted death so much more dramatically?

After all, he could’ve avoided it. Scaramouche could’ve saved you like a true hero.

If he decided to open the door to your chamber, bring some towels and force your bleeding back to your belly, called an ambulance, and let some group of surgeons do their job, instead of neglecting you for his own pleasure, you’d still be alive. Your chest would be moving up and down to breathe, your eyes would still be blinking every few seconds and your arms would be embracing him back at this very moment.

Maybe you would’ve even learned how to be more grateful to him, or suffered some sort of amnesia that would’ve let him rebuild your relationship with him but by bit in a natural way without needing to use any sort of violence.

“Thank you for saving me, my dear!” Your voice sounded so sweet in his imagination compared to how he heard you crying last night.

Were your last words pathetic begs for help? How undignified of you. How could’ve he ever let those be your last words? You died hating him instead of loving him.

Scaramouche attached and curled his limbs all around your body like a parasite. He knew it would probably take hours for him to find energy to get up again, so at least he wanted to spend those house by your side, mourning and grieving his own choices. It didn’t matter to him if it was creepy to cling to a cold dead corpse, he still held you tight if he needed you to live. It didn’t matter if your body’s warmth had ceased long ago, or if your arms wouldn’t even try hugging him back, he could still perfectly imagine himself being hugged by you thanks to the few memories he has of you doing so.

To him, you were wearing his favorite nightgown and acting very passionate about being his ‘head-patter’, caressing every inch of head, down to every tip of his purple locks while your mouth whispered sweet words, while the both of you laid down in his bedroom’s bed, instead of the situation you were actually in at the moment. All of your hair and clothes stained and ruined, your skin smelling like raw, bloody flesh, and your unresponsive and unloving to him.

Why would he ever want to leave that beautiful, utopian dream? Only to face the reality right in front of him? No. He didn’t want that.

Could he just die there? Never open his eyes again and let himself rot with you? Could he set fire to that beautiful mansion given to him by the Tsaritsa and let himself agonizingly burn to death with you and finally find peace after centuries of suffer? Compared to the burning pain in his chest, at this point, he believed the fire wouldn’t be enough to make him feel no more pain. But he probably wouldn’t be able to anyway. Now that he’s a Fatui Harbinger, his life wasn’t as useless as before, and while he was weaker than Dottore, he’d never die and rest in peace.

More tears ran down his cheeks. He truly had no other option rather than accept all that fire in his chest and let it consume him.

Maybe he could temporarily give you away to that scientist scum, Il Dottore, and beg for his help in exchange of anything, even his own life. In the end of the day, he would prefer you living without him, rather than letting himself live without you. His preference didn’t matter anymore, though, he was already living that dystopian situation of living without you. It has been a matter of minutes and he’s already finding himself developing a depression. Was that how bad it was to be without you? Was that how the rest of his pathetic life would be like? Wanting to die every day?

Why? Why did he ever chose to hurt you in the first place? This was all his fault. The memory of him willingly grabbing that glass of wine and smashing it against your head couldn’t stop playing itself over and over again no matter how disgusted he was of it or how much he tried to replace it with better thoughts.

How ironic. He promised himself he’d hate humans forever, that he’d never succumb to the mere bits of humanity inside him, and yet, he had made the most human mistake of his life, and having the most human reaction because of it.

Not even the incoming flies that flew around the room felt comfortable of taking advantage of your dead corpse with him nearby you.

Taglist: @shyentsfoundherink @the-stinky-winky @kindofshyent @bigmantiddys @goofy-ego @sasuri123 @gaboplaydespacito @alatusorrow @luminieee @toobytub

Don’t forget to like and comment if you liked it <3

[rogerbarel]

I am very fond of interpretations that are, "the text, but a little to the left," because I think they tell us about what the reader finds interesting and meaningful. I want to see things I wouldn't have thought of! There are as many Treys in this world as there are readers, and that's exciting! Tbh I originally came from the TWST community on Twitter, which did NOT see it this way and loved to throw around the accusation of nonexistent media literacy (while clearly not knowing what that entails), so I didn't share my thoughts very often.

I agree, that person would have to prove it! Trey is too cautious to be so forthright with just anybody, and I'm sure he knows that some people think they can handle the truth when they absolutely cannot. That process of earning trust is something I think about a lot and want to watch. Sorry to Vil but l I kind of love his "spoiling/babying." Some of us want a little of that in our lives!! l think that even if he manages to drop that anxious anticipation of every possible bad outcome, he will still be prone to spoiling his loved ones (with a big side of teasing). But he's gotta have a positive--not so anxious--relationship with that behavior before he can indulge in it without risk of burning himself out. Basically... I hope he can take that babying urge and apply it not to avoiding crisis/placating people, but showing appreciation when he wants.

I also love a self-indulgent HC. I've been in different fandoms where people were way more willing to go off the walls with those, and I miss it. I just wish we had a chiller fandom environment, man. I love his lil mean streak!! I've referred to the TWST boys as sour patch kids in the past, and I'll stick by it. Mean on the outside, something not-nice-but-perhaps-more-affectionate on the inside. Trey is just kind of reversed in that regard. I don't think he'd pull a Floyd Dorm Card busting down someone's door if he didn't check himself, but he could get... Hmm. What's the word I'm looking for... Sneaky? The tiniest bit sleazy? And also shady. Definitely shady. There's definitely some deadpan sarcastic internal commentary going on there.

The teasing is one of the BEST parts of a big brother archetype!! 😭 He's a tease, kinda goofy, and plays childish pranks when he can! Like Malleus, his juxtaposition of maturity and childishness ends up making him cuter imo.

I want him to be doted upon! Praised, spoiled, given what he deserves and then some! 😭😭😭 He wouldn't have a damn clue what to do with himself! This reminds me of how much I miss Ghost Bride. Trey got absolutely no game... Either he's gonna woo someone half by accident or someone's gonna have to eat him up.

Nope, never cried! Just kind of... in shock. Where did he develop that habit of immediately trying to fix things? Is it because he's an eldest brother who needs to be (and look) reliable, or something else? I think if he cries, my wailing will be heard throughout the world. I'll put it on my wall.

I know he's more popular, at least with yumes, in JP, and I've seen a blog or two discussing that his subtlety is probably a big part of that. Not only is this an EN/JP difference, but it could an age difference, too--EN has a younger audience, supposedly, who are perhaps less charmed by the concept of "Boring" but steady.

I think people consider him both boring and not... as visually exciting... as much of the cast lol. He is just a guy with grass on his head. And so, as you said, people aren't as interested in delving into his appeal. I think a small twist would be nice. Something to give Ace and Deuce a good surprise when they get into his dream. But not a supervillain one. Albeit I will probably still be in love with him if that happens, too. (I actually kinda like Hans ngl. The buildup sucks, but conceptually he is so yummy.)

Triple-Layer Cake/A Half-Baked Trey Clover Ramble

I've done this rant in more private places but am finally putting it on tumblr. This is going to be its third rewrite (if you count the time I did it as a fifty-tweet thread on yumepriv, which I'm not sure you should), but it is probably not any more cohesive since that isn't my strong suit. I'm basically throwing possible motivations for Trey's behavior at a wall and seeing what sticks. I also still don't know if I'm cooking, stating what everybody already knows, or am drawing completely unreasonable conclusions unsupported by the text. Nonetheless, I scream into the void once again. Actual material under the cut.

contains spoilers for EN-unreleased birthday vignettes

A while back, before I was even on tumblr again, this screenshot of a tumblr post about fandom misinterpreting a character in the exact way that character would want to be misinterpreted was floating around. And it made me think of Trey because approximately 50% of things do. For as long as I've been adjacent to the fandom, there's been this whole debate on how much of his "responsible big brother" image is deliberate/fake vs how much of it is genuine.

And I don't know if I like that more either/or approach to him. Trey's like Shrek. An ogre. An onion. He's got layers. But he's also a baker, and cakes are sexier than onions, so I'm opting for the more thematically appropriate analogy even if it doesn't work as well as far as visibility goes. (Although I suppose you might taste the layers separately/in order.) I'm honestly just being stubborn with this analogy. Bear with me, please.

Everybody sees his nurturing top layer, both in- and out-of-universe. But beneath that, he's a little selfish and vindictive. There's no denying this based on how he capitalizes on any chance to incur a favor as well as his preferences for revenge over forgiveness (see: wanting to watch Savanaclaw get their asses handed to them after his injury, making his underclassmen eat their cataclysmic cake after they insulted his work, Doodle Suiting his upperclassmen's cakes to be ultra spicy after they threw him under the bus as a freshman). He even admits to Epel that he's not a good person. He knows what he is.

But the way he does it has always sat oddly with me. It seems like overkill. Unnecessary. Why not let people think well of him? It reminds me of Vil's labwear vignette where he downplays his skills. He gives a too-quick protest that Vil suspects is part of an intentional image of humility. In that case, insisting that he has bad traits is just showing that he has another trait people tend to like (modesty). It's not like Epel responds to Trey's self-effacement by saying, "Oh, you really must be kinda shitty if you say so!" So I think this modesty contributes to his super average "everyguy" image as well as lightly dissuades people from thinking he's too good or reliable. No "You can count on me!" hero volunteering.

If he seems too nice, like Neige, folks might become suspicious and start playing closer attention to him, especially at a school like NRC. They may either want to see him finally snap and show what he's "really" like (to be fair, I also want to see him snap), or they may look for a way to take advantage of him. And he has enough on his plate as is!! Can't have more people who think he can shoulder it all. Trey needs to be unremarkable, so he needs to remind people that he has flaws besides his taste in hats, even if he rarely lets them show. (More on why they don't show in a bit.)

I think my reading diverges from some others' (at least those I've seen in the twt circles I inhabit) here: Even with all his vindictive tendencies, he's still deeply devoted to his loved ones. I don't think it's accurate to say that the cruel, manipulative Trey is the "real" Trey, or at least the whole real Trey. It's just a part of him. The care that he shows for Riddle, his siblings, and the named Heartslabyul characters is largely genuine.

He can act selfishly, don't get me wrong. It bugs me when people forget that. He's been dismissive toward Cater in favor of Riddle (moreso in EN than JP), and he subtly and not-so-subtly manipulates people for his benefit and the group's benefit multiple times. But it's not necessarily because he sees them as tools or playthings, which is a reading I've seen a surprising amount of times. (That being said, it is a fun one if you're exaggerating a character's villainous traits! I think he could treat someone like this under the right circumstances. You could write Trey with more of this quality, and it could be believable. But I don't think it cancels out his ability to care for people entirely.) It's just something he thinks is at least somewhat acceptable to do to others, even his loved ones. Maybe he rationalizes it. Maybe he can't help but find a little pleasure in playing with him, no matter how much we cares. If we can accept that Jade shows Floyd and Azul love through his desire to put them through an emotional saw trap, it's not too far-fetched to suggest that Trey's definition of love allows for manipulation or desire to see someone cry. He can rationalize lying to them for the sake of stability or not letting them know about his own desires. I also think that the internal conflict between "I care for these people deeply" and "I will still manipulate them" is more likely to drive him to admit that he's not a good person than not caring for them at all. Seems like a bad strategic move to admit that if you're really just using them as playthings.

Trey doesn't always know the best way to support his loved ones (understandable! How many of us struggle with this far into adulthood?) and thus conflates the stability they need with an unrocked boat. He doesn't recognize that a situation like Riddle's is inherently unstable and always will be if nothing changes. He, at least at first, seems to believe that the shitty situation you know is better than risking it all and potentially losing everything. He knows that he's failing Riddle, but what can he do? From Trey's perspective, he is a large part of the reason--if not the reason--that Riddle was locked away from the world once. What if he fucks it up again? What if he loses Riddle forever this time? (I think this history and fear is also one that keeps him from trying to close the distance between himself and Cater.)

Convincing himself that he's a bad person (which seems like a needlessly heavy judgment for the fairly mild pettiness we've seen from him in the text) might also soften the blow if things do go wrong. This way, he can convince himself that he didn't care as much as people assume he did. Love doesn't go into the things he does, or so he says. (It's even more questionable since he directly contradicts this statement in his alchemy dialogue. What is the truth, Trey Nicole Clover?)

So, to bring it all back around to the Trey cake, I think his bottom layer is anxious. And tired. Not in a way that is consistently, consciously anxious. Don't write him up a Prozac prescription yet. He's internalized these ideas that he shouldn't be noticeable, because when he does noticeable things, they go very wrong. His purpose is to keep people's lives running smoothly. So he sends those caregiving tendencies into overdrive. He's got it covered, he doesn't need more to cover, and hat's all anybody really needs to know about him. Even that is a bit too much sometimes.

Based on how Trey talks about his family, I don't think he was neglected or super duper parentified, but he doesn't talk much at all about things that they've done for him in comparison to how often he talks about what he's done for them (cooking when his parents' work took precedence, sewing his siblings' Halloween costumes, getting Magift tickets for his brother). He never shows any bitterness about it, and I think their relationship is genuinely pretty okay. No resentment there. But it is noticeavle, and he also won't even be straightforward about what he wants for himself on events where he is expected to want. He says he's joking after requesting that other people take on his chores for the day on his birthday; he uses indirect rather than direct methods to persuade Riddle to get a food processor for Heartslabyul during Starsending. Dude, you probably could have just asked.

I think Trey has this idea that he doesn't need to (or at least shouldn't) ask for anything. If I reach reeeeeeeealllll hard, I could say that one of our biggest examples of Trey wanting and pursuing something as a child--Riddle's friendship--clearly traumatized Riddle, and it had a massive impact on Trey, too. So Trey learns not to want, or at least not to be SEEN wanting.

Is this why he wants to seem so average, unremarkable, modest in others' eyes? Because wanting something is dangerous, even if it's just recognition? Just how much did the loss of one his best friends as a child fuck him up? He might not even recognize the mental association he makes; lots of people don't until they've done a lot of really intentional work about that. He just says it's easier this way, to be a cog in everybody else's lives. And it is, to some extent, but it's also deeply frustrating and exhausting. (I'd like to see more interactions between him and Jamil, who also hides his true potential, and very clearly suffers for it.)

So I think some of Trey's middle layer pettiness--not all of it, since his birthday vignettes show that he's been a bit of a troll ever since he was a kid--comes from the tension between his visible "caretaker" layer and his ultra-hidden "appreciation would be nice" layer. He reminds me a little bit of a mom who occasionally wants to snap because she feels like she does everything, and everybody just takes it for granted. He's not all "let daddy take care of you kitten," but he's not all cruel and calculating, either. And he might be less vindictive (but no less of a prankster) if he felt appreciated, but he's never going to tell anybody that he wants that. (There's a nonzero chance that he finds openly craving emotional validation somewhat too feminine for him because he's one of the only characters to comment on something being embarrassing "as a man," the other being Epel obvs, and I, like many others, have zeroed in on what this could mean about his feelings on masculinity overall in comparison to other chars. Some people think he's a straight up closet malicious misogynist, but I doubt it. That's a whole other conversation, though, which would probably run entirely on vibes.)

Does he even recognize that he's got a third layer to his Cake of the Self any time other than when Kalim semi-inadvertently calls him out? Or does he consciously push down the desire to be apprecaited? Is it painful? How painful? Does he want a break, or just acknowledgement? Does he feel like the desire to be a caretaker can't coexist with the desire to be gifted a break, to be the one taken care of for once?

This has been really really all over the place, and I apologize for that, but it just really gets my goat when people don't consider that third layer. "Trey is just a shitty guy who doesn't experience attachment or empathy (and goes out of his way to say the things he does aren't about love and then contradicts himself later) or guilt and simply feigns kindness" feels too easy. Like another thing he'd be happy to let others believe so that he can continue to hide something else. And I, in my delulu heart of hearts, think that "something else" is desire and the fear of it.

I'm currently divided on if I think the boys' dream bubbles represent their wants or just what Malleus thinks they would want, but either way, I'm hoping Trey's dream will give us a little more insight into his head. And if I was wrong about all of this, then I'll go sleep under the bed for a while and cry about how much of the fic-that-only-exists-in-my-head must be rewritten, but at least we'll have some answers. Oh Heartslabyul, I miss you so.

[shimmershy]

Buttercups and Golden Flowers

[joanofexys]

honestly the implication with what we know of Jeremy's home life thus far that not only is his personality not an act but that he actively chooses to be good despite being in a family where he goes out of his way to avoid his brother because the two can't see each other without conflict, where his sister won't attend his games and is mad at him for sticking with exy, and he still chooses to pursue the things he loves and do good things and be the kindest person he can be despite not being perfect and living in a house full people who seem to hate it is just such a wonderful part of his character

[kithj]

played mouthwashing... good game

[arolesbianism]

Finally fixating on some nugget relationships that aren't horrible for everyone I love friendship <3

[ourceliumnetwork]

apparently we're not out of the woods on holiday trauma responses just yet - i'm hoping we're on the tail end of it but like. good lord.

[cinnabeat]

i love how kh games are just sometimes psychological horrors

[atomicengineerdetective]

No one talk to me I just came back from a family vacation to find out my favorite youtuber ever is leaving the platform.

I am devastated.

(I am actually happy for him, he has given me so much happiness for like 8 years. He deserves to let the channel go an enjoy his life. It just hurts, but I'll get over it

I'm so thankful for MatPat and Steph. I Hope every future endeavour or project they take on is successful and that over all they have a happy and fulfilling life with Ollie.💚❤️💛💙)

[jackass-jones]

Girl help I keep thinking about freaking persona 4

[claire-starsword]

Bloodline of the Sacred Dragons - Chapter 1-1

[Read from the start]

Chapter 1: The white Sacred Dragon of Dragonia

Besides the little birds chirping, something else made a noise. Or maybe he had just imagined it.

One way or the other, Bleu didn't care. So he didn't even turn to check what it was.

Besides the sounds in the wind, he had his voice inside his own head. There was no reason to use it out loud. Because he had no one to talk to.

He was the last survivor of the Sacred Dragons, no one else of his tribe remained. He was very well used to being alone.

All he wanted was some peace and quiet, and time had given him more than he asked for. A quiet life of indulging in books. It was a tranquility that most people had trouble to associate with a wild dragon.

For some time now, Bleu had been entertaining himself with pen and paper. As if trying to draw feelings he could not put into words. Eventually, he grew tired of it and returned the pen to its inkwell.

He had always kept the habit of writing on his diaries, though he took breaks from it at times. So long had him been writing them that the volumes filled a couple of his shelves. But lately, there had been many days like this one, where there was nothing to write about. How long had this gone on for? It shouldn't be that hard to remember.

To relax his back after sitting on the stool for so long, he stretched his long neck, turning it all the way to his back. To his surprise, he saw a girl, looking upside down due to his position.

"Bleu."

Breaking the silence as she called his name, the human girl wrapped her slender arms around his neck.

Bleu just barely avoided to fall off the stool like a klutz, and was grateful for that small blessing. With his strong neck he pulled the girl up as he fixed his posture, and then turned around on the stool.

"It's you, Karin." A name he was very used to say. "When did you come in?"

The tall girl, who reached up to Bleu's shoulders, looked up at him brightly. The hunter clothes were a good fit for her strong and graceful body. To come to Dragonia, she certainly had to cross fields and the forest. Bleu gently picked out the dead leaves entangled in her hair with the tips of his claws.

Sacred Dragons were big, but not gigantic. Unlike other inferior dragons, they walked on two legs. When it came to height, a human's head usually reached up to the base of their wings.

"Don't surprise me like that," said Bleu. "Geez. You haven't dropped this habit of hugging me either," he complained a bit, not wanting to be treated like a kid forever.

"Oh, it's your fault for not noticing even as I entered the room. I can't picture you having been once in that Shining Force," she replied with a slight pout.

Shining Force, the army of light that once saved the whole continent of Rune. Bleu had been a member of it, but it was merely a title of the past to him. Hearing the name made the tip of his nose itch. Besides, he didn't expect Karin to bring it up.

She pulled away from him while stroking his neck, and turned away. Her light brown hair, tied up in a single ponytail, made a swift arc with the motion. Inside the quiver on her back, over her leather clothes, a bunch of arrows clacked in disarray.

"Oh, right. I shot down a copper pheasant on the way here. We can make a great stew for dinner with it."

Linking her arms behind her back, she gave a glance over her shoulder, suddenly making a cute face. Then she ran away without waiting for Bleu to reply.

"A stew, does that mean you want to stay over again?"

Bleu made a dejected face just from thinking of the time and work it would take to prepare the meal. It would be night by the time they finished, wouldn't it?

"You don't want me to go back alone to Rudo at midnight, do you? Besides, there's plenty of rooms so you don't have an excuse," she answered, already out of sight.

Good grief. In his head, Bleu waved a white flag.

Karin came to visit once a month, from the village of Rudo in the west. The very picture of liveliness, this human girl was someone Bleu couldn't go against. His power was far superior, yet when it came to words he had yet to win even once.

As a kid, he had grown up among Karin and the other children of Rudo. Daughter of the village chief, Karin was, then and now, Bleu's only friend. Childhood friends, if you could apply the expression for a human girl and a dragon child.

When the demon army assaulted Dragonia, Karin again was the only one to come after the Shining Force and help him. She worried more about him than the danger she could face. That's why Bleu joined the Shining Force to protect her.

Even once he returned after the end of the war, with her fearless nature, Karin continued to be like a big sister in his life, in both age and spirit.

The changes she would bring into his life showed him that time never stands still. Any moment with her was noisy, hectic, and full of energy. Bleu liked all these sides of her.

He let out a deep breath that wasn't quite a laugh nor a sigh.

Closing the diary he had been working on, he got up from the stool quietly.

Eventually, their late dinner was ready.

They ate face to face with each other as usual, the bowl of stew on the dinner table between them.

"Krin comes back tomorrow."

Karin brought up the topic suddenly, looking up to meet Bleu's face.

"Really? Krin, that walking encyclopedia?" Bleu asked back, jerking his head up from the glass of wine he had been drinking. With the harsh movement, the wine in the glass spilled onto the table and his jaw.

"Hey, watch it. You've always had such terrible manners."

Karin got up from her chair, and wiped Bleu's mouth with a cloth.

"Stop it, we're not kids anymore, isn't this embarrassing?"

While clearly ashamed and displeased, Bleu stood perfectly still. Perhaps that was more of a reflex than a habit.

"Nobody's watching. Besides, I used to do this always back when you were a baby."

When he was just a newborn, Bleu's mother could not produce milk, so the people of Rudo fed him cow and goat milk in her place. Karin insisted that she had done it a bunch of times. Bleu didn't believe her, because she was only three years old back then. She must have been making it up. Whenever he contested it, she would start giving a bunch of details on how things were back then. Since he had no memories to compare, it was always his loss.

Not putting up with that, he tried to get back on topic. "So, about Krin coming back."

"Right, right, that."

Karin sat back on her chair.

"I heard that she went to Manarina to study magic. But she's finally coming back then."

Bleu let his mind wander to memories of Karin's younger sister. While Karin was the amazon running through hills and fields with a bow in hands, Krin was the opposite, a bookworm. The sisters were a perfect split of introvert and extrovert.

Krin was the one who looked for accurate accounts of the Manual within old books. Her knowledge had been praised even by Advisor Nova of Guardiana. Currently, she knew more about the Manual than Bleu himself. After all, he hadn't had any chance to see it, as it had been sealed within a shrine until Darksol stole it.

"Of course, you're coming with me to welcome her back."

Bleu wanted to say she was springing this on him too suddenly, but she had her hands clasped together, and her lips stretched a bit.

"Right…" he answered, a bit hesitant. He had no problem with seeing Krin. However, to do that he'd have to leave for Rudo Village.

"Krin actually asked for you to come. She said she has something important she wants to tell you directly."

"Oh, and what's that?"

"She said that in a letter brought by a carrier pigeon from Uranbatol, and nothing else. Seems to be something she wants to say face to face. Honestly, does that girl have no faith in her own sister?"

Karin sulked, and Bleu laughed as he tried to cheer her up.

"It's Krin, she might have been worried that the letter could get in other people's hands. Which means it must something really important. Guess I have no choice…"

"No choice?" Karin's reply sounded just a little bit angry.

"No, no, I'm also happy to come along," he added, laughing like a fool. His words were only half true.

Thus, Bleu left the land of Dragonia for the first time in years. It was the start of a new journey.

To next part>

Translation notes:

Bleu's mom also used to write diaries, which you can find in game.

The idea of Sacred Dragons being the superior dragons has been around before. Neither of these texts acknowledge dragonewts though, who are also bipedal. I'm unsure if they are being excluded on purpose or if the writers just forgot.

Now, the elephant in the room. Karin's appearance:

This does not look like a brown haired girl with hunter clothes, bow, quiver and hair in a ponytail to me. Not even close. There might have been some wack miscommunication between writing and illustrating the novel.

The ponytail description is slightly closer to her NPC sprite, not that it matters much since it's been ten years and this is somewhat generic sprite shared between the whole Important Little Girl Trio.

She also has a ponytail in the GBA version, though that's likely a coincidence, as this seems fully based on the original sprite, and I've already seen Krin's description in the next part, it has nothing to do with her GBA incarnation. I still have to bring all of this up to laugh back at the good old days where I boldly declared the novel had given her a proper design.

(While we're nitpicking, Bleu's eyes also seem to be red in the cover, are he did not have a striped belly in the original game.)

[prokopetz]

I think a lot of folks in indie RPG spaces misunderstand what's going on when people who've only ever played Dungeons & Dragons claim that indie RPGs are categorically "too complicated". Yes, it's sometimes the case that they're making the unjustified assumption that all games are as complicated as Dungeons & Dragons and shying away from the possibility of having to brave a steep learning cure a second time, but that's not the whole picture.

A big part of it is that there's a substantial chunk of the D&D fandom – not a majority by any means, but certainly a very significant minority – who are into D&D because they like its vibes or they enjoy its default setting or whatever, but they have no interest in actually playing the kind of game that D&D is... so they don't.

Oh, they'll show up at your table, and if you're very lucky they might even provide their own character sheet (though whether it adheres to the character creation guidelines is anyone's guess!), but their actual engagement with the process of play consists of dicking around until the GM tells them to roll some dice, then reporting what number they rolled and letting the GM figure out what that means.

Basically, they're putting the GM in the position of acting as their personal assistant, onto whom they can offload any parts of the process of play that they're not interested in – and for some players, that's essentially everything except the physical act of rolling the dice, made possible by the fact most of D&D's mechanics are either GM-facing or amenable to being treated as such.*

Now, let's take this player and present them with a game whose design is informed by a culture of play where mechanics are strongly player facing, often to the extent that the GM doesn't need to familiarise themselves with the players' character sheets and never rolls any dice, and... well, you can see where the wires get crossed, right?

And the worst part is that it's not these players' fault – not really. Heck, it's not even a problem with D&D as a system. The problem is D&D's marketing-decreed position as a universal entry-level game means that neither the text nor the culture of play are ever allowed to admit that it might be a bad fit for any player, so total disengagement from the processes of play has to be framed as a personal preference and not a sign of basic incompatibility between the kind of game a player wants to be playing and the kind of game they're actually playing.

(Of course, from the GM's perspective, having even one player who expects you to do all the work represents a huge increase to the GM's workload, let alone a whole group full of them – but we can't admit that, either, so we're left with a culture of play whose received wisdom holds that it's just normal for GMs to be constantly riding the ragged edge of creative burnout. Fun!)

* Which, to be clear, is not a flaw in itself; a rules-heavy game ideally needs a mechanism for introducing its processes of play gradually.